[00:00:00] Make me look like a dog.

[00:00:02] My dick hit my ass and call me a little faggot.

[00:00:09] Make me suck a dick and bawl.

[00:00:11] Make me suck you look like a pig.

[00:00:14] We're talking Charlie and the chocolate fact.

[00:00:18] Charlie and the semen factory.

[00:00:21] Charlie and who's Charlie in the penis factory?

[00:00:23] Who's cock do I got to suck around here?

[00:00:25] A lot of refactory.

[00:00:28] And it's the story of Adam.

[00:00:35] Adam.

[00:00:39] Yes, it is that.

[00:00:43] What do you got?

[00:00:44] Look at your mail.

[00:00:47] Oh, your meal check-ins.

[00:00:48] My meal check-ins.

[00:00:50] Nice.

[00:00:50] Let me look.

[00:00:51] A breakfast, a bowl of semen.

[00:00:53] No.

[00:00:53] Notch, a bowl of bigger bowls, semen.

[00:00:57] An asparagus to make my piss smell and taste better.

[00:01:02] Yes, so on today's episode of Chappo Trap House,

[00:01:06] we're joined by Dave Waggle to discuss the trailer

[00:01:09] for the in the heights of the washing.

[00:01:13] Once upon a time.

[00:01:15] I have to piss.

[00:01:19] All the way, lamb.

[00:01:21] Called Washington Heights.

[00:01:23] Washington Heights.

[00:01:25] Which is like- You're speaking English the whole time.

[00:01:28] You're speaking English, but also that's

[00:01:30] not how George Washington said his name.

[00:01:32] So true.

[00:01:33] Well, I understand it's not like a Spanish word.

[00:01:38] Well, why would you choose that name

[00:01:40] to throw a little fucking stank on?

[00:01:42] Yeah, the rest of it.

[00:01:43] Why would you tell all the other words?

[00:01:45] I agree.

[00:01:46] I mean, to make- We're doing the show,

[00:01:47] and I'm going to piss, so you got to tag in right now.

[00:01:49] It doesn't make any sense.

[00:01:50] What are we talking about?

[00:01:51] We're talking about the in the heights trailer.

[00:01:53] Let's discuss.

[00:01:54] On today's episode of Chance, like that.

[00:01:55] That's a part of time.

[00:02:00] It'll fall away, lamb.

[00:02:03] Called Washington Heights.

[00:02:05] Washington Heights.

[00:02:06] Because he just says heights.

[00:02:07] It goes like he's choosing that word.

[00:02:10] Yeah, it should be a high.

[00:02:11] It's corny.

[00:02:12] I agree.

[00:02:12] He's like, I was walking down the street,

[00:02:14] and I came up to this stop sign.

[00:02:16] That's what I'm saying.

[00:02:19] Why that one?

[00:02:20] I agree.

[00:02:21] It's not that it's corny.

[00:02:21] It's also not like it is corny.

[00:02:24] It's a lot.

[00:02:26] It doesn't make any sense.

[00:02:28] That's what bothers me about this.

[00:02:29] Well, no, because it's a Puerto Rican, Dominican neighborhood,

[00:02:33] so that's how they pronounce it.

[00:02:35] So therefore, it becomes their same.

[00:02:37] Yeah, but that's also how they pronounce

[00:02:39] every other thing in that sentence.

[00:02:40] That's exactly my problem with it as well.

[00:02:43] I guess symbolically, he wants to throw a little stank

[00:02:45] on the neighborhood.

[00:02:46] Listen.

[00:02:47] The point is, it's Lin-Manuel Miranda is a fucking door.

[00:02:50] So it doesn't disappear.

[00:02:51] Washington Heights.

[00:02:53] And then the kids say it wrong.

[00:02:55] Say it right.

[00:02:55] No, they don't say it.

[00:02:56] They say it's in Washington Heights.

[00:02:58] Yeah, well, they say Washington Heights,

[00:02:59] but he's in Puerto Rico with actual Puerto Rican kids.

[00:03:04] And he's telling them, say it.

[00:03:05] And then they say it in the colonized way.

[00:03:09] Yeah, in a sad, weird colonial way.

[00:03:12] What I will say is, yeah.

[00:03:13] So, but Washington Heights have had the break a day a week.

[00:03:16] And I got this little punk.

[00:03:17] I got a chasing break.

[00:03:19] Top the great at the crack of dawn singing while I'm

[00:03:21] right down the awning.

[00:03:23] Hey, good morning.

[00:03:25] Ice cold feet, I go out of patties, straw batting,

[00:03:28] and just for today I got my name.

[00:03:31] It's a story.

[00:03:32] So it's just a whole musical about what

[00:03:34] it's like to ride the subway by toilet paper.

[00:03:38] I don't.

[00:03:40] Because what about this is distinctly

[00:03:42] how to clean the floor.

[00:03:44] How to clean a floor with fabulous.

[00:03:46] Yeah, they're like, when you're waiting across the street

[00:03:49] and there's rats because there's a garbage problem in the city.

[00:03:52] Yep.

[00:03:53] And also now with and this Andrew Yang guy, what's his deal?

[00:03:57] What's the, what is this like supposed to take place?

[00:04:01] I think a block that was disappearing.

[00:04:04] The genius is back.

[00:04:06] Yo, he's a jazz-ass girl right now.

[00:04:08] Hey, there's something on your shirt.

[00:04:11] And of course the guy's a cop.

[00:04:12] The guy's like a cop.

[00:04:14] Who's the girl?

[00:04:14] Now we're getting into what this really is.

[00:04:16] Because they layer all this Puerto Rican bullshit

[00:04:19] over the real story, which is a guy

[00:04:21] that doesn't get any pussy.

[00:04:22] Which is fucked up.

[00:04:24] I'm not trying to watch media like that, bro.

[00:04:26] I'm trying to watch pussy getting media.

[00:04:28] Which also, it's like, is that even true?

[00:04:31] Like you, you probably.

[00:04:32] He's a hot Puerto Rican guy.

[00:04:33] You were probably the one, yeah.

[00:04:34] You were probably the one that went well.

[00:04:36] Lim and well is probably the one guy in Washington Heights

[00:04:39] that had this problem.

[00:04:40] Oh, right, right, right.

[00:04:42] This is not like a kind of thing.

[00:04:43] Everyone else there has three families.

[00:04:45] Yeah.

[00:04:46] Absolutely.

[00:04:47] It's like a Chinese guy that's like, yeah,

[00:04:49] I just feel like there needs to be more Asian representation.

[00:04:51] Here's a musical about what it's like

[00:04:53] to have the biggest dick in the entire world.

[00:04:56] Which is, maybe it's just me, but I don't know.

[00:05:00] Yeah.

[00:05:01] It's a smooth operation.

[00:05:03] Oh, so this is an avatar for Lin-Manuel.

[00:05:06] This guy.

[00:05:06] We all had a swenito.

[00:05:09] And when it came to dreams, we had to keep going.

[00:05:12] This guy is so much sexier than Lin-Manuel.

[00:05:13] Maybe the slave is changing forever.

[00:05:15] Maybe tonight is our last night.

[00:05:17] I feel like in 10 years, it's going to be like,

[00:05:20] yeah, he's going to be like the Joss Whedon of Little Puerto Rico.

[00:05:24] They're like, he kept making jokes about putting his fengarso

[00:05:29] sas into my pusoasa.

[00:05:32] I don't know what that meant.

[00:05:33] Because neither of those are English words that he was.

[00:05:37] Yeah, yeah.

[00:05:37] Joss wasn't trying to fuck, right?

[00:05:40] He was just a mean gay guy.

[00:05:41] He ain't with girls minds.

[00:05:42] No, he was gay.

[00:05:44] He's not gay?

[00:05:44] No, he fucked up.

[00:05:46] The guy who did Buffy the Vampire Slayer's not gay.

[00:05:48] No, he cheated.

[00:05:49] Yeah.

[00:05:50] What?

[00:05:50] I saw how everybody thinks I was in a full world.

[00:05:53] I saw how everybody thinks I was in a full world.

[00:05:54] They're talking about putting me on all the dreamers.

[00:05:56] I think it's time to make some noise.

[00:05:58] It's time to make some noise.

[00:06:00] And this is where it really starts to bother me

[00:06:02] is when the dancing starts.

[00:06:04] When it's, you know.

[00:06:05] We had to assert our dignity in the small place.

[00:06:08] It's choreographed dancing of any kind is fucking lame.

[00:06:11] I had a, dude.

[00:06:12] I had a feeling about the Beijing opening ceremonies then.

[00:06:15] Yeah, that was a lot of things.

[00:06:17] That was one of the coolest things I've ever seen.

[00:06:19] And there was mostly feats of strength.

[00:06:21] No, it was drums.

[00:06:23] So wildly choreographed, these people

[00:06:24] couldn't go to the bathroom, dude.

[00:06:26] They were fucking on taking diapers.

[00:06:28] That was one of the coolest things I've ever seen.

[00:06:29] Yeah, but see, they're mentally choreographed.

[00:06:32] You know, so it doesn't even, that's just an extension

[00:06:35] of something they're already doing.

[00:06:36] I know it's so true.

[00:06:38] That's true.

[00:06:40] Minkabada, pincati, garrada.

[00:06:42] Fittled details that tell the world who you are not listening.

[00:06:45] That listening well style of rap singing

[00:06:47] is the moment when you do better than me.

[00:06:50] I have to go to the bathroom, but my dick is too small.

[00:06:53] And my balls are small too.

[00:06:57] And I showed you my dick and you laughed at it.

[00:07:00] And you put the pictures online.

[00:07:02] Now I'm crying because everyone's making fun of me.

[00:07:07] And my little pee pee is too small.

[00:07:11] And so are my balls.

[00:07:14] In Washington Heights.

[00:07:15] In Washington Heights.

[00:07:16] I will say that.

[00:07:17] Let me take a picture of that.

[00:07:19] Before I got the Yankee fitted, I would have laughed at someone

[00:07:22] saying Washington Heights.

[00:07:24] But now the city has really changed.

[00:07:26] But you got the Yankee fitted.

[00:07:28] I got the Yankee fitted.

[00:07:29] Now I go to Chelsie beers?

[00:07:32] Chelsie beers?

[00:07:32] No, I go to Chelsie beers.

[00:07:34] I live in Chelsie Heights.

[00:07:37] I want to tell you about a neighborhood called Chelsie.

[00:07:43] This is where I see my history.

[00:07:48] It's a neighborhood that's disappearing.

[00:07:51] It's called Chelsie.

[00:07:52] Say it so it doesn't disappear.

[00:07:55] Chelsie!

[00:07:56] Chelsie!

[00:07:57] That's right.

[00:07:59] That's right kids.

[00:08:00] That's what it's about.

[00:08:01] Being a 57 year old gay man that's done every generation of HIV medicine

[00:08:07] and now owns seven buildings.

[00:08:10] And now he's the richest man in the world.

[00:08:13] It is funny.

[00:08:14] I see them in lunch all the time.

[00:08:16] They love lunch.

[00:08:17] They love going home.

[00:08:18] They love meeting each other at lunch.

[00:08:20] Going to meet at lunch.

[00:08:22] Just sitting there and they're always happy.

[00:08:23] They always use their phone the same way.

[00:08:25] They're always sitting there.

[00:08:27] They always do that.

[00:08:33] They always do that.

[00:08:34] They got it.

[00:08:35] The perfect posture.

[00:08:37] The tits out and then just like making the tiniest smile at their phone.

[00:08:49] Is it okay?

[00:08:50] It makes them out the gay guys.

[00:08:52] They got their phones.

[00:08:53] They get their lunch waiting for their friend.

[00:08:57] There's also the thing that they're going to live forever.

[00:08:59] There's also the thing the gay guys do when they're on.

[00:09:03] They talk on the phone.

[00:09:06] Never use AirPods.

[00:09:07] Always the wire headphones.

[00:09:09] And then they hold the mic.

[00:09:12] They do hold the mic.

[00:09:13] And then for whatever reason they walk when they do it and when they're walking the other

[00:09:17] arm has to sway wildly.

[00:09:20] It adds like this extra counterweight to the music.

[00:09:22] It adds yet.

[00:09:23] Exactly.

[00:09:24] It adds this unbalanced to their gate to be on the microphone.

[00:09:29] So they're like, I'll talk to Todd.

[00:09:32] And then you can figure out where we're having the most.

[00:09:35] They do love to hold the little microphone right to their mouth.

[00:09:38] They do.

[00:09:39] Another thing about him is they're fucking degenerate.

[00:09:42] Yeah, it's so fucking, that's really good right now.

[00:09:45] We're just that part.

[00:09:46] He's only Lin.

[00:09:47] Only Lin.

[00:09:48] Only Lin.

[00:09:49] He's not Gazy.

[00:09:50] No, I think he's not.

[00:09:51] No, man.

[00:09:52] I'm telling you, the thing.

[00:09:54] Sex best.

[00:09:55] Yeah, sex best.

[00:09:56] Yeah.

[00:09:57] And you can't really, you can't just say shit like that because it's fucking libel or whatever.

[00:10:01] Whatever the fucking lawyer.

[00:10:03] On Minecraft.

[00:10:04] Yeah.

[00:10:05] On Minecraft, this guy rapes God.

[00:10:12] So wait, Joss Whedon got pussy?

[00:10:14] I think he's a fool.

[00:10:16] You can see a future that I can't.

[00:10:18] I can't.

[00:10:19] We're weak.

[00:10:20] We're up on people.

[00:10:21] We made all of this.

[00:10:22] This is me.

[00:10:23] He's like, you made all of this.

[00:10:26] And this is, it's just her bedroom and there's like four drawings of dresses.

[00:10:30] It'd be a funny scene in a movie where somebody goes into somebody's apartment and they have

[00:10:35] like a bookshelf with like seven, eight books on it.

[00:10:39] And they're like, did you read all these books?

[00:10:41] Two of them, yeah.

[00:10:43] And I'm working on these.

[00:10:44] Not even.

[00:10:45] Just have it hit where the person that can't process, I've done with the question.

[00:10:50] Now, they're calling, the critics are calling this the event of the summer.

[00:10:54] That's what I've been calling it.

[00:10:56] I mean, people love to, one something is seen as good.

[00:11:02] Yeah.

[00:11:03] Like everyone said, Hamilton was like the best thing that's ever fucking been made.

[00:11:06] I see, I thought the event of the summer was going to be in three weeks when Dr. Jill Biden

[00:11:10] is raped by President Xi.

[00:11:12] I thought that would be, I don't know.

[00:11:14] Is that on the docket?

[00:11:15] I don't know if that's on the books.

[00:11:17] I've got, I've got, I've got some of my, a little bird, a little Chinese bird.

[00:11:22] Some of your sources in Chinatown.

[00:11:24] It would be funny if that happened in Joe Biden had to be like, this has to stop.

[00:11:30] This is full of my life.

[00:11:31] Yeah.

[00:11:32] This has to, this can never, this is the last time that this dude Joe would get the fucking

[00:11:38] nukes out, dude.

[00:11:40] You don't take Joe's post.

[00:11:41] Joe would, Joe would offer the fist fight.

[00:11:43] Would you say a video of him like, nine year old girl sexy?

[00:11:48] No, Jesus Christ.

[00:11:49] No, it's not.

[00:11:51] It's honestly, it's like a harmless video.

[00:11:53] People are making some out of nothing.

[00:11:54] Well, out of context, I mean, out of context, that sounds horrible.

[00:11:58] He's, he's just like so fucking like deranged.

[00:12:01] Yeah.

[00:12:02] There's a little girl at something.

[00:12:05] And I guess she just, she has like she's dressed like she would be in a diet.

[00:12:09] She just like looks like put together or whatever.

[00:12:12] It's all Joe's trying to say is that, you know, like, Oh, look at her.

[00:12:15] You know, it's like cute.

[00:12:16] That a kid looks like a fucking adult, right?

[00:12:18] Going to see the president or whatever.

[00:12:20] But he's like, look at her there with her little pigtails and like a 19 year old.

[00:12:26] Where her legs crossed.

[00:12:28] It's like, come on.

[00:12:29] Come on.

[00:12:30] People already.

[00:12:31] Oh, he didn't use the term sexy.

[00:12:33] No.

[00:12:34] Okay.

[00:12:35] I was going to be like, God damn.

[00:12:36] You work hard.

[00:12:42] Money will come.

[00:12:43] Things will come.

[00:12:46] You're ready.

[00:12:47] I was saving up on my pennies and my piggy bank this day.

[00:12:49] Today's all we got so we can.

[00:12:51] No, this is a block.

[00:12:53] I think it's like, I also never want to be any part of a community ever.

[00:13:03] Well, so that what do you mean?

[00:13:05] Why?

[00:13:06] You're part of the tapestry of people of Bed-Stuy.

[00:13:08] Absolutely.

[00:13:09] One of the pillars.

[00:13:10] You're one of the pillars of the community.

[00:13:12] No.

[00:13:13] I mean, yes, of course you are.

[00:13:15] I would love to be part of a community.

[00:13:16] See, I don't like that.

[00:13:17] Why not?

[00:13:18] I'd love to be part of a section.

[00:13:19] I think it's a slippery slope.

[00:13:20] You have communities and then you have nations and then you have fascism.

[00:13:24] That's how Israel started.

[00:13:26] The Jewish community.

[00:13:28] Yeah.

[00:13:29] Every man, you really want to fight against it.

[00:13:30] You got to be a cowboy, dude.

[00:13:32] Right.

[00:13:33] You got to be.

[00:13:34] You got to be in West Texas.

[00:13:35] You want to steal horse out, right?

[00:13:36] That's right.

[00:13:37] I'm a cowboy.

[00:13:38] Just me and all the other.

[00:13:39] On a man's cock.

[00:13:40] Me and all the other individuals individually listening to Bon Jovi in concert.

[00:13:46] Yeah.

[00:13:47] That guy's a real outsider.

[00:13:49] Yeah.

[00:13:50] And real outlaw.

[00:13:51] Imagine you're in a saloon in the Wild West and Bon Jovi comes in.

[00:13:56] I can't imagine.

[00:13:57] In five seconds that man would be sodomized.

[00:13:59] Oh, yeah.

[00:14:00] He's hotter than any woman in the Wild West.

[00:14:02] That's got to be the prettiest woman I've ever seen.

[00:14:04] He's taken.

[00:14:05] I heard a story.

[00:14:06] His ass is probably so clean compared to a prostitute's pussy in the 1800s.

[00:14:11] That a man claiming to have had sex with John Punjabi.

[00:14:13] Who claimed that?

[00:14:14] Oh, oh, yeah.

[00:14:15] Yeah.

[00:14:16] Yeah.

[00:14:17] Really?

[00:14:18] Yes.

[00:14:19] Can you fill me in here?

[00:14:20] No, no, we can't.

[00:14:21] What the fuck?

[00:14:22] It's a secret.

[00:14:23] It's a secret.

[00:14:24] You just said it on the fucking podcast.

[00:14:25] No, that all I'll say is that a man claimed to have sex with John Munger.

[00:14:29] Well, don't say who the man was.

[00:14:30] Just kidding.

[00:14:31] I don't know even what the man's name was.

[00:14:33] But we heard tell of a man and it sounded like he was making a joke and they thought about

[00:14:40] it and they were like, dude, fuck John.

[00:14:43] Yeah, yeah.

[00:14:44] Interesting.

[00:14:45] It's very funny.

[00:14:46] Do I know this person?

[00:14:47] No.

[00:14:48] Nick and I.

[00:14:49] One of my secret associates.

[00:14:51] Yeah, I got one of the co-op.

[00:14:52] Don't go any further on that.

[00:14:58] Interesting.

[00:15:00] You have a secret associate that talks about having sex with men.

[00:15:04] With John Bonjour.

[00:15:05] Okay.

[00:15:06] Okay.

[00:15:07] And it's too rich this time.

[00:15:08] You don't want to get into it.

[00:15:09] Let's not make something fucking fucking-

[00:15:10] You two don't want to get into it.

[00:15:11] We're not going to do something crass here.

[00:15:12] You have a rock.

[00:15:13] You have a secret associate.

[00:15:15] Fuck you.

[00:15:16] I don't even want to hear it.

[00:15:21] I got to calm down now.

[00:15:25] I've been sick when y'all sing little tunes.

[00:15:32] I'm just saying, man, it's a little fucking-

[00:15:35] It's a little interesting.

[00:15:40] You have a filter through.

[00:15:46] So light!

[00:15:49] Alright, I'm better.

[00:15:50] I feel better now.

[00:15:51] You feel better, dude?

[00:15:52] I'm a little-

[00:15:53] Okay.

[00:15:54] I never needed a time out.

[00:15:55] I feel like I want to watch WrestleMania in 2007.

[00:15:58] Dude, hell yeah.

[00:15:59] Hell yeah.

[00:16:00] Who's in the main event in 2007?

[00:16:02] Triple H maybe?

[00:16:04] Probably.

[00:16:05] That's what I was good for.

[00:16:06] You know, I remember finger 11 out of nowhere the other day.

[00:16:10] Hell yeah.

[00:16:11] Yeah.

[00:16:12] I was taking a shower.

[00:16:13] I'm like, yeah.

[00:16:14] That was a gay band.

[00:16:15] Wait, what was their song?

[00:16:16] They had a big one, didn't they?

[00:16:17] They did.

[00:16:18] I can't even fucking-

[00:16:19] I can't-

[00:16:20] I don't remember the name of it.

[00:16:21] I just had to look them up.

[00:16:22] You'll recognize-

[00:16:24] Yeah, I was about an 11 year old.

[00:16:26] Yeah, it's actually their number one hit, Tom Sizemore.

[00:16:30] Tommy motherfucking Sizemore, finger 11.

[00:16:36] Paralizer, is that-

[00:16:38] Oh my bad, lys, but I'm a fucking fan.

[00:16:41] I'm gay.

[00:16:42] You know what I mean?

[00:16:43] Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum.

[00:16:46] Oh Yeah

[00:16:51] Yeah

[00:16:52] Ha ha

[00:16:54] Ha ha

[00:16:57] Ah this song

[00:17:01] Oh

[00:17:05] Ah ha

[00:17:08] Hold on some bad laws

[00:17:13] I

[00:17:15] Girl I dated once told me about seeing a like a big fat guy in a doorless Jeep Wrangler

[00:17:22] blasting this

[00:17:28] Free free from fucking society's judgment dude

[00:17:32] Faddish shit and through his fucking titties. It's been like a wank getting wet curly hair

[00:17:37] Yeah, the air drying while the finger 11 takes him away. Mm-hmm. That song sounds a little bit like Franz Ferdinand

[00:17:44] No, it doesn't

[00:17:46] Yes, everybody that that's not a fucking interesting. I like the name of that band. I like the name of that band because it was history

[00:17:54] The archduke. Yeah, you got a shit clapped and that's how the war started baby if you just want to helm it

[00:18:00] If you'd only

[00:18:08] Conch strong suck you off suck dick. That's what I love to do

[00:18:16] If you thought the joke would be different

[00:18:20] If you were expecting something different expecting some new stuff you're wrong you're wrong and your dick is small

[00:18:27] Maybe check out patreon.com slash come that's right

[00:18:31] Big surprise this week. We went an entire episode without doing any we're doing more inclusive if you feel underrepresented

[00:18:39] Yeah, I was you should check out the patreon this Sunday. We're doing a

[00:18:45] The universe on well blue if you want if you want something everybody says this is sort of like a

[00:18:52] fascist grift yes and

[00:18:54] And you know call me Pusolini you know I'm saying call me by your name

[00:19:00] But the if you want a wok show

[00:19:03] What was Miss Elise first name Andrea Benito Benito Benito's a great name Benito Andrea Mussolini Benito Pusolini

[00:19:11] That's me dude. Mm-hmm. I'm Benito Pusolini Joseph Robinette Biden

[00:19:16] Benny Pusolini there was somebody else that had a fucking Richard gears middle name is Tiffany

[00:19:21] That's all right. Yeah, and then there's another one Liz another one. I saw recently that was very funny

[00:19:28] It was like Stephanie Caitlin

[00:19:32] Like Rebecca Hitler

[00:19:36] It's yeah Devin Booker NBA star middle name or Mar money sick middle. It's awesome

[00:19:42] Oh, man. I was my name was stopers good. The theaters are fucking back dude. I love I've had so much fun

[00:19:50] You love the magic of the cinema. Yeah, dude

[00:19:54] Big soda. Oh, yeah fucking peanut M&M. Oh fuck my dick just got hard

[00:19:59] Just said the concession stand there like there'll be 38 dollars and 52 cents take it. Yeah, I'm like go ahead run the card

[00:20:05] I'm the car to business expense to business. I'm in media. I'm a I'm a James Bond. I will be taking a hundred dollars

[00:20:13] Worth of snow caps, please

[00:20:15] Podcast when's the next James Bond movie coming out? I don't know

[00:20:19] Soon right is it still Daniel Craig? Where are we getting you one dude?

[00:20:24] We've had Daniel Craig's we were in high school might be his last one. I need some new blood to Jack

[00:20:30] McCarthy, I mean Daniel Craig is the best James Bond

[00:20:36] Probably I guess dad's Daniel Craig Sean Connery then fucking the Pierce Pierce

[00:20:43] George ladies and be the ladies and be an adult and then fucking Roger Moore's the worst

[00:20:48] Oh Roger Moore's my number one really because he's a proper British man

[00:20:53] He's class. I feel like Pierce Brosnan was too late

[00:20:57] But when he was young and hot that would be that would have been a nice piece of

[00:21:01] We all like it because the video game was so sick via game rocked

[00:21:04] Yeah, and also by the way the game cube James Bond games were awesome to remember I never play and I am they were fucking

[00:21:11] I just remember gold and you and you you were actually a couple different James bonds. You were Sean Connery for part of it

[00:21:16] Wow, it's pretty fuck that's what they should do my n64 man. What a what a

[00:21:22] Time in history what a time to be alive

[00:21:26] And it sucks like video games aren't like movies where you can it's video games aren't like movies where you can go

[00:21:33] They return to it. It's all my sucks dick sucks

[00:21:37] Did you try to play that shit now? I played through the campaign because I got that little thing from Ukraine

[00:21:41] Yeah, it's not an emulator. It's just a cartridge. You can put an SD card in so you know like

[00:21:46] Sounds like an emulator, bro

[00:21:47] It's not because then it wouldn't emulator does is it emulates my dick in your mouth, and you love it

[00:21:54] Hmm you heard his feeling stuff good fuck him why?

[00:22:10] He'll be fine

[00:22:12] I

[00:22:23] Feel better man. Yeah, my parents are divorced

[00:22:28] Sometimes I yeah, just I get I just get into like I got you gotta do that like such a dark zone

[00:22:34] You know a lot of people they don't know what it's like you're in a lot of pain

[00:22:37] Honestly the number one song for that is pop a roger beat what it was

[00:22:43] My life in the yeah suck my dick into pieces. Oh, what's this this is trippy man. This song's actually sick. I

[00:23:13] Find the morale

[00:23:43] And Maryland death fest

[00:23:49] G

[00:23:49] Mmm

[00:23:51] P H A G G

[00:23:53] Yeah

[00:23:53] Yeah

[00:23:54] Yeah

[00:23:54] Yeah

[00:23:55] With an oom-lop?

[00:23:56] Oom-lop over every single letter

[00:23:58] Oh, I push my thing to my knees

[00:24:08] Yeah, it's the only way that I can back and come

[00:24:16] Oh shit, did well

[00:24:20] Imagine a four minutes ago

[00:24:22] Yeah, I was thinking

[00:24:24] Yeah, four minutes ago

[00:24:26] Did we got Cushions dreams

[00:24:28] Yeah, imagine that

[00:24:30] About four minutes ago we started smoking Cushions dreams also

[00:24:33] And it was so good that we forgot

[00:24:35] And it got the fun

[00:24:37] Cushions dreams

[00:24:38] That come

[00:24:40] I can stay all day

[00:24:44] That gets me sort of high

[00:24:48] Legal CBD

[00:24:51] It's just like real weed

[00:24:55] You see the promo code com town

[00:24:58] All com town's water

[00:25:00] Yeah, Cushions dreams

[00:25:03] It's some of the best CBD

[00:25:05] In the whole goddamn market

[00:25:07] But it's premium flour

[00:25:09] It's the good shit, bro

[00:25:11] It's not fucking oil

[00:25:13] What are you fucking a baby?

[00:25:15] Come on

[00:25:16] You're drinking oils, you're drinking gummy

[00:25:18] Smoke the stuff, the smoke the good shit

[00:25:20] Like a hard thing to smoke

[00:25:22] That all like the people that they were in

[00:25:24] The cultural revolution was smoking

[00:25:27] It was smoking pandas

[00:25:29] Yeah, yeah, nice brother

[00:25:33] Yeah, it's a fucking CBD, bitch

[00:25:37] It's CBD now

[00:25:40] Official sponsor

[00:25:42] Official sponsor of God's Mac

[00:25:45] Sully from God's Mac's favorite brand of CBD

[00:25:48] You guessed it

[00:25:49] Cushy dreams

[00:25:50] And that's how he landed the plane

[00:25:52] You've never seen my heart, dick

[00:25:54] Don't say it's mine

[00:25:56] Anyway, so

[00:25:57] Yeah, CBD, what do we get?

[00:25:59] They got four straight and five four four five

[00:26:00] They got a ton of different flavors

[00:26:02] Relax

[00:26:03] They got a hustle piece

[00:26:05] Fucking dream

[00:26:06] Create energy

[00:26:07] Energy hustle

[00:26:08] It's a good shit

[00:26:10] They have a gay conversion therapy

[00:26:12] If you want to be like me

[00:26:14] I can live in a gay conversion event

[00:26:16] That's what I'd say

[00:26:17] I got a gay conversion

[00:26:19] I got a gay conversion van

[00:26:21] I got all these drivers out of town

[00:26:23] We fuck each other

[00:26:24] Yeah, I get all these people

[00:26:28] Trying to fucking turn their

[00:26:30] It's like a gay bang bus

[00:26:32] You see a guy just hitchhiking on the road

[00:26:35] Afraid, scared, there's no worries

[00:26:37] Some hot 19 year old

[00:26:38] Ran away from home

[00:26:39] His parents want him to be straight

[00:26:41] So he can go to college

[00:26:42] And not do gay shit

[00:26:43] But don't worry

[00:26:44] He'll get a shirt

[00:26:45] And it's got a middle finger on it

[00:26:47] It's just convert this

[00:26:48] As the crucifix jammed into an ass

[00:26:50] Yeah, that's right

[00:26:52] Yes, that's awesome

[00:26:53] A big pair of butt cheeks

[00:26:54] And you get that a cushy dreams

[00:26:56] And you go in the end

[00:26:57] That's sponsored by cushy

[00:26:58] cushy dreams.com loves gay shit

[00:27:00] Yeah

[00:27:01] Is it C or K-U-S-H-Y

[00:27:03] K-U-S-H-Y dreams.com

[00:27:04] Check this out

[00:27:05] They got the tins

[00:27:06] The nitro seal tins

[00:27:07] With an eighth of weed in there

[00:27:09] Or you can get the pre-rolls

[00:27:11] The pre-rolls have a half

[00:27:12] Grand joints

[00:27:13] They come a little

[00:27:14] I love the half

[00:27:14] They're twisted up

[00:27:15] A little busted

[00:27:16] Buster pack

[00:27:17] I love the half-grand joints

[00:27:18] And then they got the vials

[00:27:19] The science vials

[00:27:20] With the fucking the pool blunt

[00:27:22] Full-gram joint

[00:27:23] And they're all

[00:27:24] Fentanyl free

[00:27:25] Fentanyl laced

[00:27:26] You will die

[00:27:28] Laced up with fennel

[00:27:30] They also sell fennel

[00:27:32] You can dip your

[00:27:34] Try to take your CBD pre-roll

[00:27:36] Joint and dip it in a little

[00:27:37] bit of mercury

[00:27:38] You can ride the quick silver

[00:27:39] I like to dip it in

[00:27:41] Femel to hide

[00:27:42] Put it in the microwave

[00:27:43] And then spark it up

[00:27:44] Spark it up

[00:27:45] Spark it up

[00:27:46] Spic-spic-spic-spic-spork it up

[00:27:47] Yeah, if you dip it in mercury

[00:27:48] You'll be able to tell the

[00:27:49] Temperature perfectly

[00:27:50] After you smoke that shit

[00:27:51] Mm-hmm

[00:27:52] There's a movie called

[00:27:53] Mercury Rising

[00:27:54] About an autistic boy

[00:27:55] That Bruce Willis needs

[00:27:56] To help him get high

[00:27:58] He puts his arm

[00:27:59] He jams his arm

[00:28:00] Mama up his ass

[00:28:01] And he watches dick

[00:28:02] Get hard

[00:28:03] Yeah, sorry Brittany

[00:28:04] I'm gonna go

[00:28:05] Biscadia

[00:28:06] I'm Bob Biscadia

[00:28:07] Oh, motherfucker

[00:28:08] Yeah

[00:28:09] What are you doing now

[00:28:10] Yeah, he's going to

[00:28:11] Another piss

[00:28:12] He's going to the

[00:28:13] Bathroom for the fourth time

[00:28:14] You started the episode

[00:28:15] Pissing

[00:28:16] Yeah

[00:28:17] And he shut the doors

[00:28:18] Which part did it

[00:28:19] So listen, what you're going to

[00:28:20] Want to do is go to

[00:28:22] CushyDreams.com

[00:28:24] Use promo code COMTOWN

[00:28:26] Actually maybe pause the

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[00:28:33] And get 20% off your next order

[00:28:35] Whether that's fucking the

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[00:28:40] You're going to love this

[00:28:41] High quality motherfucking CBD

[00:28:43] It's going to suck your fucking

[00:28:44] Cock right off its handlebars

[00:28:46] My dick is fucking

[00:28:45] Strong, I'm sorry

[00:28:46] My dick is gay

[00:28:53] My dick is my life

[00:28:55] I feel bad about leaving

[00:28:57] For the last 20 seconds

[00:28:58] So I'll admit what I had to do

[00:29:00] But I felt like I need

[00:29:02] An extra wipe

[00:29:03] And

[00:29:04] Your ass cheeks were dirty

[00:29:05] And you could feel

[00:29:06] Sitting there

[00:29:08] Sitting there

[00:29:09] Shitting my $700 chair

[00:29:11] I'm sitting in a camp chair

[00:29:13] From here

[00:29:14] This is in here

[00:29:15] It's an Eames chair

[00:29:16] No it's not

[00:29:17] I feel like

[00:29:18] Because I'm going to

[00:29:19] NEMES you to suck my dick

[00:29:20] No, that's not true

[00:29:24] That's not true

[00:29:25] I'm sorry that's

[00:29:26] D-N-I-Z

[00:29:27] He is going to NEMES you to do that

[00:29:28] That's an awesome dude

[00:29:32] Thanks man

[00:29:33] Just chill out man

[00:29:35] This is fucking

[00:29:36] This is the last vibe

[00:29:37] This is chill out for me

[00:29:38] My dick is my life

[00:29:39] Look up

[00:29:40] And

[00:29:41] This sponsored for the next show

[00:29:43] I can't do this

[00:29:49] This really is the

[00:29:50] I really do

[00:29:51] I really do

[00:29:52] I really do

[00:29:53] Love

[00:29:53] Stone Temple Pilots

[00:29:54] I can't

[00:29:55] We're not

[00:29:56] SUCKING

[00:29:57] On a man's dick

[00:29:59] Cause I'm gay

[00:30:00] I want to taste this

[00:30:04] E-M-I-Z

[00:30:05] I want to taste this

[00:30:06] E-M-I-Z

[00:30:07] I want to taste this E-M-I

[00:30:08] I want to taste this E-M-I

[00:30:09] I want to taste this E-M-I

[00:30:10] I want to taste this E-M-I

[00:30:11] I'm going to push my fingers

[00:30:12] Into my ass

[00:30:13] Let me see

[00:30:14] Real quick

[00:30:15] I want to, between ads here

[00:30:16] I want to say

[00:30:17] Come watch a live show

[00:30:18] We got funny moms

[00:30:19] Every Monday

[00:30:20] That is not the first

[00:30:21] Monday of the month

[00:30:22] Yeah

[00:30:23] And then we also

[00:30:24] They've been really fun

[00:30:25] They've been fun so far

[00:30:26] Tomorrow

[00:30:27] Thursday

[00:30:28] I'm hosting Pantheon

[00:30:29] A show at the

[00:30:30] Bell House

[00:30:31] We got

[00:30:32] Joe Para

[00:30:33] The city of Washington

[00:30:35] We got Chris Rock

[00:30:37] He's going to be on the show

[00:30:38] Go check that out

[00:30:40] And then

[00:30:41] From the new song

[00:30:42] He's there

[00:30:43] Chris Rock

[00:30:45] Will also be at Union Hall

[00:30:46] On the 22nd

[00:30:47] Where I will be with

[00:30:48] Ian Fidance

[00:30:49] And also

[00:30:51] Most importantly

[00:30:52] Rochester

[00:30:53] I'm doing a weekend

[00:30:54] Of shows there

[00:30:55] From the 17th to the 19th

[00:30:56] The Rock

[00:30:57] The first time on the road

[00:30:58] Please come out

[00:30:59] And suck my little

[00:31:00] Fucking Prickadale

[00:31:01] We would love

[00:31:02] To fucking have you folks

[00:31:04] It's a Sills country

[00:31:05] Right there

[00:31:06] And then also

[00:31:07] Fat Tuesday

[00:31:08] Last Tuesday of the month

[00:31:09] But

[00:31:10] A lot of good shows

[00:31:11] Coming up

[00:31:12] Thanks to everyone

[00:31:13] That's been coming up

[00:31:14] Funny moms

[00:31:15] And again

[00:31:16] Patreon.com

[00:31:16] Slash

[00:31:17] Come down

[00:31:18] Slash Chris Rock

[00:31:19] And so you check out

[00:31:20] Patreon.com

[00:31:21] Slash Stone Temple

[00:31:22] Pilots

[00:31:23] Go to Stavi.biz

[00:31:34] For all that stuff

[00:31:36] I forgot to say

[00:31:37] Yeah, you should check that

[00:31:38] Shit out

[00:31:39] Maybe

[00:31:41] Rewatch

[00:31:43] Cheers

[00:31:44] Yeah, just go

[00:31:45] Stop that bass

[00:31:46] Or rewatch cheers

[00:31:47] Either one of them

[00:31:48] That's for listening to

[00:31:49] Podcast

[00:31:50] Check out

[00:31:54] If you're having an

[00:31:55] Alright time with this

[00:31:56] Maybe check out that

[00:31:57] Fucking show

[00:31:58] Taxi

[00:31:59] Taxi's good

[00:32:00] Dada Vito

[00:32:01] He's a little fat guy

[00:32:02] Oh my God Dada Vito

[00:32:03] You got Dada Vito

[00:32:04] You got fucking

[00:32:05] Judd Hirsch

[00:32:06] Judd Hirsch

[00:32:07] You got

[00:32:08] What the fuck is

[00:32:09] Celine Dion

[00:32:10] Mork

[00:32:11] No, no, no

[00:32:12] You don't have

[00:32:13] Mork from

[00:32:14] No, it's what's

[00:32:15] Iandy called

[00:32:16] Kaufman

[00:32:17] Lennis Plusman

[00:32:18] Lennis Plusman

[00:32:19] That's an awesome name

[00:32:21] That is literally

[00:32:23] a 70s character actors

[00:32:24] Name

[00:32:25] That's a

[00:32:26] Weaves

[00:32:27] Yeah, let's

[00:32:28] Let's figure that out

[00:32:29] What is going on with the

[00:32:31] Weaves

[00:32:32] There are a lot

[00:32:33] Mm-hmm

[00:32:35] That's the response to that

[00:32:37] Yeah

[00:32:38] You remember that?

[00:32:39] Yeah, it's awesome

[00:32:40] I love that the dog

[00:32:41] Count response

[00:32:42] Yeah, yeah

[00:32:43] Or cineode

[00:32:44] Yeah, yeah

[00:32:45] Yeah, yeah

[00:32:46] Yeah

[00:32:47] Or cineode, dude

[00:32:49] Yeah, I remember being

[00:32:50] getting like damn

[00:32:51] I want to be in an audience

[00:32:52] Yeah, dude

[00:32:53] I want to be doing the

[00:32:54] Who's like

[00:32:55] Who?

[00:32:56] I want to be in a cool audience

[00:32:57] I want to be in a

[00:32:58] like an audience

[00:32:59] where I get to boo

[00:33:00] I had a friend who's

[00:33:01] Dad

[00:33:02] Don't listen to their parents

[00:33:03] I had a friend who's

[00:33:04] Dad was so racist

[00:33:05] He slapped his son

[00:33:07] when he saw him doing the

[00:33:08] Who?

[00:33:09] Who?

[00:33:10] He was like

[00:33:11] No, black people do that

[00:33:12] That's black people

[00:33:13] You're like

[00:33:14] What the fuck

[00:33:15] is wrong with this guy

[00:33:16] No, it was

[00:33:17] I've mentioned it before

[00:33:18] He's a good old

[00:33:19] Haralimos

[00:33:20] He was the guy who said

[00:33:21] This motherfucker's

[00:33:22] named after a gorilla

[00:33:23] And he's got

[00:33:24] Geronimo

[00:33:26] Haralambimos

[00:33:27] He's the

[00:33:28] Haralambimos

[00:33:29] Yeah, Haralambimos

[00:33:30] Yeah

[00:33:31] I hope Brandon Wardo's doing

[00:33:32] Okay, it is the 50th

[00:33:33] Year anniversary

[00:33:35] Where you're

[00:33:36] in Harambe

[00:33:37] Wait, wait, wait, wait

[00:33:38] It's like eight years, dude

[00:33:39] No, I think it's five

[00:33:40] Oh, Brandon Wardo, of course

[00:33:41] of the dicks up for

[00:33:42] Harambe

[00:33:43] Right

[00:33:44] That's what I'm

[00:33:45] doing, okay

[00:33:46] I know it's an important

[00:33:47] gorilla

[00:33:48] Yeah, I check in on him

[00:33:49] Because I'm like

[00:33:50] What's he doing now?

[00:33:51] Brandon's in a movie, you know?

[00:33:53] Yeah, he's like famous

[00:33:54] He's in a Vancouver

[00:33:56] shooting a movie

[00:33:57] Shout-out to our boyfriend

[00:33:58] What's he shooting?

[00:33:59] A half-Asian twink

[00:34:01] Volume 6

[00:34:03] Yeah

[00:34:04] He's in the hangover

[00:34:06] 7

[00:34:07] He's getting his ass

[00:34:08] blown out right now

[00:34:09] Yeah, he's doing well

[00:34:11] Dude, somebody's

[00:34:13] twink-a-slur-no

[00:34:14] Twink-a-slur-no, right?

[00:34:15] Twink?

[00:34:16] Yeah, just the-

[00:34:17] Yeah, just the-

[00:34:18] The-the-the identity

[00:34:19] It's, well, it's the- it's

[00:34:20] a- yeah, it's like a slur for

[00:34:21] time when he's people

[00:34:22] That's not-

[00:34:23] Yeah, it's not-

[00:34:24] If you're being specific

[00:34:25] Because you don't- you don't

[00:34:26] need to respect the geopolitical

[00:34:27] boundaries of mainland China

[00:34:28] And-

[00:34:29] For me, that's-

[00:34:30] That's-

[00:34:31] That's-

[00:34:32] It's-

[00:34:33] You want to be racist

[00:34:34] against a Han Chinese, but

[00:34:35] also respect the-

[00:34:36] You want to respect the

[00:34:37] geopolitical boundaries of

[00:34:38] mainland China

[00:34:39] And-

[00:34:40] For me, that's-

[00:34:41] It's-

[00:34:42] It's when you

[00:34:43] also respect their sovereignty.

[00:34:44] Right, right, right.

[00:34:45] Okay, that's what I-

[00:34:46] I guess-

[00:34:47] So I'll stop using it then if

[00:34:48] that's the case-

[00:34:49] But- but if you're a Beijing

[00:34:51] fan, then it doesn't matter.

[00:34:53] Right.

[00:34:54] Because they don't even acknowledge

[00:34:56] the existence of Twink's.

[00:34:57] Of Twink.

[00:34:58] Yeah, yeah.

[00:34:59] They're like, we're all-

[00:35:00] No, they don't say that.

[00:35:02] We're not that, but if you're-

[00:35:03] If you were-

[00:35:04] If you had to, use the CH ones.

[00:35:06] Don't use the TW one.

[00:35:09] That's-

[00:35:10] That's-

[00:35:11] That's-

[00:35:12] That's-

[00:35:13] Okay.

[00:35:14] What- what type of soda is that?

[00:35:16] It's a-

[00:35:17] It's a-

[00:35:18] Cherry-

[00:35:19] Cola zero.

[00:35:20] Did it sure it goes zero in there?

[00:35:21] Yeah, dude.

[00:35:22] Fuck!

[00:35:23] Can I visit?

[00:35:24] No.

[00:35:25] Oh damn, every-

[00:35:26] I always miss out on the Diet

[00:35:39] No, fuck you. I give you my eyes. Yeah, but you didn't ask me if I want anything remember

[00:35:44] We've litigated this on the patreon. You've already lit a jot

[00:35:48] You can have some I just want to put your lips on it. Oh water water phone it better yet pour it into your cup

[00:35:56] It's got water. I don't care. No, I don't drink the water. I'll drink my water

[00:36:00] I don't know what it is. You can have some you do want it. Don't fucking lie to yourself. I just want to try it

[00:36:06] You know what it tastes like motherfucker. You don't want to try it. You want something. I don't know it

[00:36:11] You do know it. I don't know it. I don't know it. I don't know it. I don't know it. I don't know it

[00:36:15] Wow

[00:36:17] Wow, you said you were gonna waterfall it you put your fucking DSLs right on that motherfucker, dude

[00:36:23] So you're admitting I have nice lips. No, I said you're I dig some stuff

[00:36:27] What a clever play by Adam to ask to borrow the soda to drink it's to in a roundabout way to get you to admit he had nice

[00:36:35] Yeah, he did drink he did put it

[00:36:38] He did put the entire bottle. I really have an outlet for this

[00:36:40] So I'll just go ahead say it but the other day I was saying why what in the coal oceans 13

[00:36:45] Clams casino

[00:36:48] Urshen's eight sorry

[00:36:52] I was confused I was like I don't know whichever one the bitch one. Yeah, the bitch one was clams

[00:36:57] That was not that good a movie. Have you ever ordered a clams casino delicious? No, never at a restaurant. I've had it made

[00:37:03] Oh, I mean you never had I've had a never had clams casino at a restaurant. You've made it yourself

[00:37:08] I've had other people have made it for interesting

[00:37:12] There's a little bit of clam. I can do easy Mac. I can do fucking hot dogs on the stove

[00:37:17] Yeah, I was gonna say clams casino feels like a little bit above your

[00:37:21] They just baked clams with like fucking sour cream and shit. I still think you would fuck it up

[00:37:26] And just crush up a bunch of but sour cream and onion chips you would eat you would put like fucking tuna in the blender and eat that shit

[00:37:32] Yeah, you can't do claims casino. I can do claims no chance first of all what I would do is I would put tuna in the blender with hot sauce and

[00:37:43] Not just

[00:37:50] The fucking the fucking pictures you would send in that era of you're eating were hilarious

[00:37:55] Yeah, cuz their point is like let's just see how bad I

[00:37:58] Yeah, you were eating a lot of truly shit that they would be in prison

[00:38:02] Like if you made that in prison they would you would get fought if they saw you eating that

[00:38:08] Because it was mostly prison ingredients to it's like beef jerky and shit

[00:38:12] Stop if you went to prison would you be the guy that got really good at I would do fine in prison like I would love to

[00:38:19] Stop it do great in prison. He just being half a bowl and he would have to shit

[00:38:23] He just said it one of the cafeteria tables and then people would come over and hold court and they give him bread in exchange

[00:38:30] Yeah, you know podcasting I would get head from like the cutest guys to I would become gay

[00:38:36] I don't know dude. There's some big guys in prison. They wouldn't want to fuck me dude

[00:38:40] But compared to the big guys you're like a lot shorter than them

[00:38:43] But I don't know he'd be at the top of the pecking order first of all you would a hundred cent be at the bottom

[00:38:48] So let's not fuck it. We're not debating that we all know that

[00:38:51] Yeah, I would play to his year old they'd refuse to actually yeah classic Meyer landscape

[00:38:57] Yeah, too bad we'd get you in the fucking airport bitch. I would execute you

[00:39:03] Yeah, I think I'm playing

[00:39:05] Just a video that steward is getting KO'd no some bitch puncher in the face. Jesus Christ. Really? Yeah

[00:39:12] It's pretty cool. I haven't been really I haven't flown yet. I'm because I'm uh

[00:39:16] I'm not flying when I go to Rochester. I'm taking the fucking Amtrak. Oh, nice. It's gonna be nice

[00:39:22] How long is that like nine hours? No six and a half. Yeah wait until there's delays pal

[00:39:27] Yeah, you're used to the the beauty of the Northeast regional. You know you're not ready for real Amtrak really

[00:39:34] Yeah, yeah, it's literally just for criminals. You're gonna you should take the Erie Canal up there. That'd be cool

[00:39:41] What's the Erie Canal? No some shit. I'm taking the fucking train. I just told you I can't right

[00:39:46] I can't drive the train get on a river boat up there

[00:39:50] That would be fucking annoying if it's nine hours, but at the end of the day

[00:39:55] I like the idea of taking the train up there. Mm-hmm reading a book

[00:40:00] Doing some work

[00:40:01] Yeah

[00:40:03] Trains are nice. Yeah, they are. It's smooth sailing

[00:40:08] Smooth operator or should I just rent a car or maybe I

[00:40:13] I

[00:40:15] Don't you have a car. I don't know driving. Oh, you popped all the tires again. No, I've never done that

[00:40:20] First of all, I've never done it. Remember you said that all four pop though. I would how would that happen?

[00:40:27] I'm one man even if I'm a fat man. It's not

[00:40:34] My damn that's about

[00:40:37] 15 times there are much fatter people to be the riding cars

[00:40:41] Okay, whatever small what if two small people that weigh about the same as me got in

[00:40:47] Or

[00:40:48] impossible

[00:40:52] Well, I'll tell you what my bookie dot AG. Oh, it's time to bet folks. I'm for bed. It's time to bed unless

[00:41:00] You're gay

[00:41:02] My bookie got a

[00:41:04] That's so funny. Yeah, that is a little fine print that we have to

[00:41:11] That was part of the we've been getting in trouble because all our fans have been betting and they're like oh this doesn't

[00:41:16] They're getting rejected and they we didn't know why so you're breaking the law if you go. Sorry guys

[00:41:21] But that a G a lot of people say what is that a G stands for?

[00:41:24] It's a type of company that only exists in Switzerland

[00:41:28] Which is where they set it up to so that they could do offshore betting completely sort of legally

[00:41:34] Yeah, it stands for my bookie dot anti gay dot. Yes. Um, yeah, my bookie dot AG is

[00:41:42] It's about Antonio Brown

[00:41:47] Brown is on the we got the NBA playoffs going on folks. We got big playoff action

[00:41:52] We got the Lakers locked in against the fucking sons who's gonna win who's gonna lose?

[00:41:58] Depends on a dude the AD is hurt. Is he gonna come back? He's probably sitting out the next game

[00:42:04] Is the other not gonna get it my bookie offers competitive odds on everything better odds in Vegas?

[00:42:10] Yeah, I think you have big time much better odds big is what what critics are calling big time odds

[00:42:17] they offer

[00:42:19] spreads super spreaders point point buckets

[00:42:23] Yeah, three and three live in game wagering live in game wagering and you can you can bet on the election double down

[00:42:31] Split shaped double downs double shake downs shake down money touch

[00:42:36] Fuck off money touch souffle. Oh my god. Yeah, they got the triple Omaha. I got the Omaha

[00:42:43] Biscuits

[00:42:44] Got a big old pair of butt cheeks you can look there you can lick the call of the Omaha biscuit. That's right

[00:42:50] It's kind of like the Apollo where you rub the tree stump for good luck

[00:42:53] Yeah, you you lick the Omaha biscuit

[00:42:55] They got country gravy that comes out of a statue of a golden bowl with its penis exposed

[00:43:00] Oh, yeah, the cock is nice too by the way, and it's it goes all over the eggs Benedict that you must bring

[00:43:07] It's just a reminder that the eggs Benedict crucial l. Oh

[00:43:12] B

[00:43:14] Benedict

[00:43:16] And other than that the country gravy is free comes out of the bowl's penis. Yep fully available in my bookie

[00:43:22] dot ag that home of

[00:43:25] the bullets of

[00:43:27] sex gambling

[00:43:30] Straight sex gambling home

[00:43:33] It's the absolute home of the Swiss money maker special. Oh, yeah

[00:43:39] And by the you're guaranteed to make money by the way guarantee

[00:43:43] Guaranteed that's how you get your money back

[00:43:46] When you sign up that's a real part of the copies you get a bonus and you sign up to match your deposit up to a thousand dollars

[00:43:54] Then that's free money in credits and irredeemable credits. Yeah, they will never you're not allowed to take

[00:44:00] Keep betting them you can keep betting them. It's sort of like if you've lost a lot of money in Bitcoin recently

[00:44:06] You want to check out my book. Yeah, you want to go to the old-fashioned

[00:44:10] Because it's like it's like Mark Twain always said your luck doesn't turn around until you start betting even more money bet

[00:44:19] Take out a mortgage on your house interest rates are low right now money's cheap

[00:44:23] What you want to do is lock in a low interest rate bet all the money on sports gambling with our friends at my bookie

[00:44:30] Donta G. Uh-huh get a government loan. Don't pay a pack fuck the government Fannie Mae can suck my Stavi cock

[00:44:37] Sounds like

[00:44:40] Fucking nini

[00:44:42] Sounds like a nini

[00:44:45] Get them get the ass Nick. Well, I did I believe he did my friend Freddie Mac was that um

[00:44:53] Bernie Mac

[00:44:54] Yeah, so true also

[00:44:56] We stopped trying to steal my I was on a roll there. I should have stepped on you said for any may

[00:45:02] Sounds like a fucking nini to me

[00:45:06] That was a really good role

[00:45:08] That was they called the high high roll

[00:45:12] Listen, I'm available only in my bookie. Don't only at my bookie. I'm my bookie that penis is a website review

[00:45:20] Other power is in the control. That's absolutely correct. And so you go there. Do you use a promo code?

[00:45:31] Use promo code

[00:45:33] comtown or comtown 20

[00:45:36] for the deposit match or some shit yeah for

[00:45:40] Now they give you some kind of they give you like I think they give you like five thousand dollars or something

[00:45:46] Yeah, if you're a listener of our show you get five G's on the house. You know what Tom come town. Gourade's

[00:45:56] Well, I'll tell you what because I know from the the bit the B2 B side is it of all the

[00:46:04] semi-legal

[00:46:06] sports betting

[00:46:09] Websites mm-hmm that we have had the displeasure of knowing

[00:46:14] Yeah, my bookie that age is the only one that's actually paid

[00:46:22] From a conducting business standpoint they have scratched the bare minimum

[00:46:27] And we can't offer any more of a ringing endorsement than that

[00:46:32] Sounds pretty good to me is that they seem to be only up and up with

[00:46:37] not

[00:46:38] Just going out of the business at the very least they won't stiff the podcast they advertise with you sign up with promo code

[00:46:52] So come down to come to my bookie will match your deposit halfway up to a thousand dollars huge

[00:46:59] That's my bookie.ag promo code

[00:47:02] X X X X probably come town remember that what what company had come

[00:47:15] Respect to them who never early one they never advertised again

[00:47:21] Whatever happened to that boot company that we accused of raping children

[00:47:25] There's something to do it is promo code has come town. There you go. I found the copy from years ago

[00:47:32] Awesome and tell them we sent you tell them we said when you're sucking off the country gravy Bullcock

[00:47:39] Let them know come down sent you and let them know come down sent you and also tell them that

[00:47:44] Tom their gay

[00:47:46] Should we go to a fucking casino?

[00:47:48] I'm mad that you I'm mad that I thought for a second that you and Steven went to go shoot guns in Jersey after I suggested it

[00:47:55] No, no Steven went to see his dad. Yeah, but it for a second. It looked like you guys

[00:48:02] That's not what happened, but I'm still

[00:48:07] I'm choosing

[00:48:10] Believe it was scary that I was

[00:48:12] Disrespected I would love to go shoot and maybe look less gay doing it. No, you'll never you never will

[00:48:21] Yeah, no guns are like classic cars. You always look like a fag. Yeah, I think so no matter what

[00:48:26] I had a lot of gun fags on my Instagram mentioned saying that I was holding the gun the gayest way

[00:48:33] And then a lot one of the one of the guys was an adult wearing a thing I think about

[00:48:38] I think about those guys like you fucking pathetic loser like a nice thing about

[00:48:44] You can almost be guaranteed that some of them will actually kill themselves. Yeah, that's true

[00:48:50] Which is nice either accidentally your own purpose. Well, listen to me. Imagine killing yourself in your gee

[00:48:57] God I don't know. Yeah died doing what he loves karate

[00:49:02] Mm-hmm. Well if if you die in an embarrassing way you could throw throw the gee on like if you guys die

[00:49:07] I'm gonna put you in a Gee, and I'm gonna say you were defending me against ninjas

[00:49:10] Yeah, and that's a hero's death even though you probably killed your sister guy from California being like yeah

[00:49:15] I'm Gee

[00:49:17] I'm Gee and this is my husband Gee. My husband's name is Gee

[00:49:23] And I'm Gee were Gee with each other

[00:49:27] So funny that the guy's name was gay

[00:49:29] Who's the guy gay to lease the writer? I was thinking about the name guy

[00:49:35] Which is Gee if it's French, right? Yeah, but then if it's he can't move for me the mobile song gee

[00:49:43] He's a French

[00:49:45] California gay

[00:49:47] in California gay, right?

[00:49:50] and

[00:49:52] They're just doing whatever the hell they want the language. It's really funny that that lady is really good

[00:49:57] And it pisses you off, huh? It makes me mad as your purist as a New Yorker. Let me tell you sure

[00:50:04] There's nothing that boils my blood. Yeah quite like a bunch of Armenian pieces of shit. Okay. We're gonna blame them

[00:50:12] Yeah, I think it's them hearing from old Kurt or Rooney Doonie

[00:50:18] Not occurred. No Kurt

[00:50:20] Curtis is calling my name is real name is Kurt. Mm-hmm. I thought you were accusing me of being Kurdish

[00:50:25] Mm-hmm

[00:50:26] We talk about our their their people without a nation

[00:50:30] Much like the Palestinians solidarity the Kurds

[00:50:34] Yeah, I remember last like two years ago when it was like Trump abandoned

[00:50:39] He's abandoning the Kurds like dumb thing online. Yeah, we never it's like we all right. No, we've never

[00:50:46] We never hooked the Kurds up. What are what are supposed to care about Trump abandoning the Kurds?

[00:50:51] No, first of all if you really cared about them, you wouldn't call them that

[00:50:55] That's their name, dude. No that Curtis Dan is where they're from. It's that's I

[00:51:00] Refuseably that does it just because it rhymes with turds

[00:51:04] Kurt is I didn't even think about that. Yes, you do. I'm no I'm blind. That's the first place you thought of no

[00:51:10] I

[00:51:12] Don't they beef if I had to say like imagining like a solidified

[00:51:17] Turd made out of calm solidified calm. What would it be called? I

[00:51:23] Guess you could say that

[00:51:27] See you're the one who brought the cum element. I was you saying

[00:51:31] Well, I think it's funny and I'm tired of pretending. It's not Marie

[00:51:36] You can't say that Joka you can't call them cum turds

[00:51:41] Or what's gonna happen, Marie, you're gonna cancel me you're gonna fuck my ass

[00:51:45] Are you gonna care you're gonna get me fired from being retarded Marie?

[00:51:50] Did Joker too, so what Joka just because just because you're retarded and you get money from the government

[00:51:56] You think you could say slurs. That's exactly what I think what's that they're making Joker to brother

[00:52:02] Todd is back Todd Phillips is fucking back friend of the show. It's hot Phillips. No. Yeah, he hates you

[00:52:09] He's a friend of he hates you turd philips cuz he hates me doesn't mean it's not a friend of the show

[00:52:14] He does hate you you know, I remember that ladies that lady named CC Peniston. That's awesome. Yeah, I

[00:52:21] Forgot about that lady

[00:52:23] Yes, that's not the hurry. She's pretty fucking tight. Mm-hmm. That song she made is pretty good

[00:52:28] Also, I guess they found out today that the girl from the dry blowjob video

[00:52:34] Ellie Kempe Ellie Kemper is in the KKK what?

[00:52:37] That's not real. No, she did a dance. She did a racist dance 35 years ago. Yeah, yeah

[00:52:44] Yeah, something like that

[00:52:45] I guess she's rich from st. Louis and they had like a rich people's bowl where they picked the hottest teenage girl

[00:52:51] That they'll all the rich people want to fuck she was that and everyone says that she's racist now

[00:52:58] But I honestly personally I would still fuck her

[00:53:01] That's the kind of guy I am

[00:53:03] That's the kind of gumption I've got the forest gumption the forest gumption. Yeah

[00:53:11] I'm always saying what if I told you I was

[00:53:15] Everybody hates me because I'm I'm I'm a I'm a

[00:53:20] Adam lands a type of retard instead of a forest gump type of retard

[00:53:24] That's not why they hate you Joker. You're annoying. You're annoying and you're kind of gay

[00:53:34] Nobody would have a problem with you killing those Wall Street guys if you'd stop doing that thing with your shoulder

[00:53:42] We think it's actually pretty cool

[00:53:45] Everyone here would be on your side if you weren't wearing makeup and doing that weird thing with your shoulder

[00:53:50] I

[00:53:53] Hope he gets I guess I hope there's a Harley Quinn type

[00:53:55] This is the thing every every movie that comes out is like media dorks will be like this is girl Joker if it's like a movie with a girl

[00:54:05] They like that because it works no matter what because every movie now it has to be like the women movies have to pass the back

[00:54:12] test

[00:54:13] But real women in real life don't

[00:54:15] So it is sort of this true anti hero psycho fantasy to imagine a woman whose entire life isn't dictated by his or her relationships

[00:54:23] It's mad. That's true. It's no matter what even if it's like

[00:54:26] You know the bitch that works at the newspaper if most of it is her like, you know, I'm gonna decide what I want for lunch

[00:54:33] Yeah, you know

[00:54:35] Crazy

[00:54:38] Absolute psyche if she's not thinking about cock. Yeah, you know the exact use of the Joker. Yeah

[00:54:43] That's any woman is not trying to get this mind though. I'm film criticism. Yeah, I'm with you, bro

[00:54:48] Yeah, like this churilla thing. I don't know what it's about

[00:54:52] But I got very guarantee you she's a bitch. Yeah

[00:54:58] I can guarantee you that eight men right now the dead some movie about it apparently Dalmatians killed her mom

[00:55:05] And that's why she hates Dalmatians. Oh is her mom got got got by some down

[00:55:10] They

[00:55:12] Who plays the two British stujes that she has

[00:55:19] I don't know your boy your boy from a Benedict Cumberbatch

[00:55:22] No, no your boy from the Clint Eastwood movie with the fact security guard. Oh, Richard Jewel. He's in that

[00:55:29] He's in Cruella. He's that guy's cool

[00:55:32] He's he plays one of the food think so. Yeah

[00:55:35] Oh, so that you answered the question Cruella how was wondering if maybe we could get some pussy from you

[00:55:45] Miss Cruella

[00:55:49] Joker do you think maybe you and this Cruella bitch could give each other pussy and then you could be normal

[00:55:57] But I don't want to be normal Murray. I want to be a fucking weirdo

[00:56:01] But think about how good it would feel to get your dick sucked

[00:56:07] I guess it would feel pretty good. Yeah, what do you get when you make a weird retard fuck a

[00:56:14] dog killing lady

[00:56:17] You get the summer event of the summer directed by

[00:56:24] That's honestly, I do firmly believe if we gave if more people got pussy there be fewer problems in the world

[00:56:29] Yeah, if the man well Miranda weren't being

[00:56:33] Dude if that guy got pussy, we would never had to hear as fucking gay ass musicals. Yeah, I think

[00:56:40] Alexander Hamilton my dick is fucking small. Yeah, I don't think that's in the music. It is no

[00:56:46] It's not it's the Adam Friedland chapter just because he's bad doesn't mean all musicals are bad

[00:56:52] Here's what I have to say that

[00:56:54] If you want to see a good musical about Puerto Rican culture you see West Side Story

[00:57:01] Carlito's what Carlito's way the best me I would watch musical version of Carlito's way so fast

[00:57:06] My favorite line from that movie is when I was like when they saw my Puerto Rican ass

[00:57:15] Yeah, he ruled it hit him playing Carlito's way and then

[00:57:19] I love when he plays his scarf face

[00:57:22] I mean it's so for anyone to get pussy from a woman named Gail is funny, but that was a love of his life

[00:57:28] But Al Pacino's yeah, yeah, he should have killed

[00:57:31] his name

[00:57:33] Billy Blanco from Bronson

[00:57:38] Yeah, I love when I was when I was like 13. I loved that movie

[00:57:42] So fucking incredible man's hair is the best clientele the best. Yeah, oh you want to play a guy so now

[00:57:49] I felt he's a great character. So good. And then they had him in Vice City

[00:57:54] Dude, I've been when I fired up Vice City and they had clientele from probably as well as like oh

[00:58:00] We're in for dude. That's one dude. Where the fuck is the next Vice City? Isn't that that peak?

[00:58:05] It's no they'll never there's gonna be a new one. Yeah, but it's not it's gonna suck dude

[00:58:10] I grant that thought it was not been fun since no the last one was good. It just hasn't five in a long time

[00:58:17] Five five three characters that's five okay, and that came out eight years

[00:58:23] Nine years. Well, they came out with red dead after four four was better than five

[00:58:28] That's the one with the guy you go Bellic. Yeah, but I don't know if I was good

[00:58:33] It's fine. I literally I've been playing it for the last nine years, and I'll play like three missions. Yeah

[00:58:39] Each and then I get fucking bored of it. I but yeah, you play the games for real broad

[00:58:44] I just like to fucking get exploding bullets and fuck people up

[00:58:50] Yeah, red dead is a million times better and the original was to remember when the original came out

[00:58:55] I was like, yes, like honestly

[00:58:57] I just want a fucking updated version of Vice City make it the exact same game with good graphics

[00:59:01] Yeah, I make it Miami and make us the main guy make me the main guy make me and you know

[00:59:06] You know, I was being generous. We should have we should have a radio station on the new

[00:59:13] Come on guys. Let's make it happen. Let's make that happen so we can quit this fucking show rock star

[00:59:18] Please I'll suck your cock. We do one thirty hour

[00:59:22] Episode that would be incredible. We get all the drugs we want and by the way

[00:59:26] And by the way folks if you're like oh cool an extra epic like extra content. No, no you're getting that

[00:59:33] That's gonna be the final episode. That's the last ones we ever record

[00:59:37] We will partial portion it off one hour and then anytime anybody listens to even a second of the show on in the game

[00:59:45] 1 million

[00:59:49] Yeah, guess where that money's gone liposuction for stavras. I don't need that I

[00:59:54] Like my body and we're gonna do it behind his back literally

[00:59:57] Yeah, it'd be very funny if stars walk around he doesn't he's just like a thin the man from the back

[01:00:03] Yeah, he doesn't see it. There's just a weird to gradient where he just becomes much fatter is like I

[01:00:09] Would be pissed off you guys snuck into my room gave me a little liposuction every like week or so and I thought I was doing really

[01:00:16] Good little

[01:00:16] Die an aesthetic in your sleep apnea mass. Yeah, dude

[01:00:21] How's that good you solve the CPAP machine? Yeah, dude. Yeah, I'm gonna live forever

[01:00:25] That's what look a lot of fat motherfuckers die die off that shit

[01:00:30] Yeah, I thought about I thought about trying it out myself. You should seriously

[01:00:35] That's when people just fucking die out of the blue. It's a lot of time because of that shit really yeah

[01:00:40] Cuz it's like you imagine your body just I don't I was asleep at night. I don't snore

[01:00:45] doesn't necessarily mean I have I've basically I'm like trained for

[01:00:51] infiltration

[01:00:53] You sleep over this one I don't smell no

[01:00:55] Never smell yeah, that's so true. You know it's like

[01:00:59] Ronin sort of a I feel you ninja

[01:01:04] No, actually you have none of that I was waiting for you

[01:01:10] even attempt

[01:01:12] Yeah to say no actually what you are is a blown in and because you suck guys off

[01:01:18] Now cuz I've been blown

[01:01:20] Yes, you're blown in yeah, I've got a blown in does the blowing no he doesn't he doesn't get you haven't even seen Ronin

[01:01:29] I say half yeah, well what color is a fucking boathouse it?

[01:01:33] No, no cuz that's a fake question. I know that at least that's a fake question that they try and get what's his face Sean

[01:01:41] Beak Joko what color is the bathroom at the retarded school?

[01:01:44] There's no how blue Murray, I know it's a trick question. There's no fucking and I

[01:01:51] blew you

[01:01:54] Stop telling everyone that joke. I tried America. I sucked Murray's dick before the show. He's gay like me

[01:02:03] Shut the fuck up. Shut up for him Murray kills him

[01:02:07] Oh, yeah, that'll be a funny

[01:02:13] I might be due for a Joker rewatch one cuz we saw I like didn't see it was fun and theaters

[01:02:18] And then I put it on again at home like six months later, and it wasn't doing it for me, but it might be time

[01:02:24] Yeah, I've only seen it that one time. Yeah, I don't really feel like I need to rewatch it. I'll see the second one, but

[01:02:30] Yeah, there's it there's not a second one. There literally is there is yeah, it was fun. I'm joking

[01:02:37] I thought you condensed yourself there was cuz I was doing Murray

[01:02:42] I'm not that weak way. So Ellie Kemper did a racist dance. No, no, she was at a racist dance

[01:02:48] They found pictures of her sucking my socks some years ago

[01:02:53] Yeah, because I'm why because of my bad attitude

[01:02:56] It's because Nick's penis looks retarded

[01:03:00] They thought she was raping a retarded boy

[01:03:03] Because it looks it retarded small like a hell of a

[01:03:09] They're like Ellie Kemper raped the baby retard because it was actually Nick's piece. It's got a helmet in a backpack

[01:03:19] Because it's a little propeller at the top

[01:03:21] Spids around all right. Bye