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Ep. 271 - pussy passports

Cum Town | Regular | 08/04/2021

[00:00:00] Well, we're coming in hot with absolutely nothing this week.
[00:00:08] It's a lot of people complain.
[00:00:13] They say, oh, the show is past its prime, you know, it peaked.
[00:00:19] Now it's only getting worse.
[00:00:21] That's right.
[00:00:22] Yeah, we've heard your complaints.
[00:00:24] And A, who cares?
[00:00:28] No, I care.
[00:00:30] No, you don't.
[00:00:32] No.
[00:00:33] Don't pretend you care.
[00:00:34] No.
[00:00:35] No, I said it sarcastically.
[00:00:37] Now, if I don't try and just play the other side of the coin.
[00:00:40] None of us are passionate about this.
[00:00:41] I wasn't being sarcastic.
[00:00:42] I care.
[00:00:43] Now, if you were to say such awful things about my Beijon-Freeze grooming business,
[00:00:48] yep, that might get to me.
[00:00:51] If they find out the name of it, they're going to just bomb your Google reviews page.
[00:00:56] Your Google reviews are going to go down.
[00:00:58] Beijon-Off.
[00:00:59] Yeah.
[00:01:00] Beijon-Off.
[00:01:01] Beijon-Off, a Beijon-Freeze grooming business by a gentleman who's not as gay as you might
[00:01:07] think.
[00:01:08] That's right.
[00:01:09] He's actually straight as hell.
[00:01:10] He's just gay enough to sneak his way into the good graces of a Beijon-Freeze-Oning type
[00:01:15] of bitch.
[00:01:16] With the Beijon-Freeze industry.
[00:01:18] Joey, we can use the dogs to get the women we have sex with.
[00:01:22] We can fuck the dogs.
[00:01:23] Chandler, that's a great idea.
[00:01:25] I'm Italian.
[00:01:26] Chandler.
[00:01:27] I want pussy and a meatball fucking sub.
[00:01:31] If you want to hear the rest of that, go to Patreon.
[00:01:34] Oh, yeah.
[00:01:35] The Patreon this week was really good.
[00:01:39] It was really good.
[00:01:42] It was pretty good.
[00:01:43] Yeah, that's what we're saying.
[00:01:46] It's too hot.
[00:01:47] It's too damn hot.
[00:01:48] It doesn't matter.
[00:01:49] And we got Indian food.
[00:01:50] That was on in hindsight, it wasn't a mistake.
[00:01:52] I'm not as bad at how much you blasted.
[00:01:54] If that was an atom decision.
[00:01:56] This show is only good.
[00:01:57] You're right.
[00:01:58] You know what?
[00:01:59] I have to say, atom decision.
[00:02:00] If I pushed Indian food to 90 degrees.
[00:02:04] Hand up, we'd be crucifying me.
[00:02:06] You're right.
[00:02:07] We should have gotten Cuban food instead.
[00:02:09] Yeah, I could have gotten a fucking salad there in a sandwich.
[00:02:12] You could have gotten a salad at the fucking Indian restaurant.
[00:02:14] No, you can't get salads.
[00:02:16] They're vegetarians.
[00:02:17] What do you mean they don't have salads?
[00:02:19] They can get different hot sauces and sugary hot sauces.
[00:02:22] Different things in different hot sauces.
[00:02:24] Look, I enjoyed the meal, but I'm slugging.
[00:02:26] The meal was good.
[00:02:27] I just feel like dog shit and then we walked home seven blocks and 90 degree heat.
[00:02:33] But you know what guys?
[00:02:34] None of that matters because I'm with my friends right now.
[00:02:37] It sounds like it does matter because you were at Mr. Joey Blameyani.
[00:02:42] Okay, well, it feels good.
[00:02:44] It's everyone's fault, but fucking mine.
[00:02:47] I will say if it was Adam's, I'm with you, Adam.
[00:02:50] Because you have a lot of decision.
[00:02:52] Let's remind everyone you've blown it many times.
[00:02:55] On meal calls.
[00:02:56] I had to think anything you could eat when it's this hot.
[00:03:01] I mean, it's brutal.
[00:03:03] You go outside and cool.
[00:03:05] A cold meal.
[00:03:06] It feels like having a face pissed on.
[00:03:09] Yeah, actually it sounds like a good.
[00:03:11] Like a woman's just like venting like a gas out of her.
[00:03:17] Like a fat smelly pussy gas.
[00:03:21] Yeah, and her hot piss.
[00:03:22] Well, folks, the only way to describe the community levels out today is like a fat pussy
[00:03:26] gas hissing in your face.
[00:03:29] Okay, that's the weather for it's going to be bad.
[00:03:32] And we're going live to Mario.
[00:03:37] Jacinte's with the traffic report.
[00:03:40] Right.
[00:03:41] Thanks, Megan.
[00:03:42] I'm fucking gay and I suck my own but my pee.
[00:03:45] Okay, we're back in studio and.
[00:03:49] And we said it feels like a fat woman's pussy.
[00:03:51] So to actually give you guys a demonstration, we are going to put our faces right by a couple
[00:03:58] fat ladies.
[00:03:59] We've got a local woman that's been going around to school showing children her fat pussy
[00:04:03] and some tricks she can do with it.
[00:04:05] She's going to teach them about global warming.
[00:04:08] She's going to show us some of those before she heads to John Rocket Elementary School.
[00:04:17] Nice.
[00:04:18] To show her pussy.
[00:04:19] Or pussy out to the truth.
[00:04:21] To the baseball pitcher.
[00:04:23] No, that's John.
[00:04:25] Rocker.
[00:04:26] Rocker.
[00:04:27] Who had some insights on what it's like to live in New York City, New York City.
[00:04:31] I was trying to think of the name of a segregationist and what popped into my head was Johnny Rockets.
[00:04:38] Johnny Rogans.
[00:04:39] Yep.
[00:04:40] Used to be one of my favorite restaurants.
[00:04:42] As a child.
[00:04:44] That's a fucking bad choice.
[00:04:46] I love it.
[00:04:47] Strom Thurman.
[00:04:48] That's who I wanted.
[00:04:49] Strom Thurman.
[00:04:50] I was just thinking about Johnny Rockets.
[00:04:52] Segregation is that Strom Thurman with some secret black pussy on the side.
[00:04:57] Secret black pussy.
[00:04:58] A tale as old as time.
[00:05:01] Secret black pussy.
[00:05:02] Secret black pussy.
[00:05:03] Yeah.
[00:05:04] I love that song.
[00:05:05] I would love to.
[00:05:06] A movie called Secret Black Pussy and it's like maybe a hot black girl that's James Bond.
[00:05:11] Fat gay, faggot, borambah.
[00:05:14] What's that?
[00:05:15] Why are you singing that?
[00:05:18] That's just a song about a guy.
[00:05:20] Interesting.
[00:05:21] Yeah.
[00:05:22] Why are you getting so?
[00:05:23] Just curious.
[00:05:24] Why are you getting so tough?
[00:05:25] Why are beads of sweat?
[00:05:26] Excuse me.
[00:05:27] I'm not sweating.
[00:05:28] Why are beads of sweat?
[00:05:29] I'm not sweating.
[00:05:30] I was the only one who dressed sensibly.
[00:05:31] I have a cut off.
[00:05:32] Sure.
[00:05:33] And I have shorts.
[00:05:34] That was because Nick did promise us no walks.
[00:05:37] It's that we have work to do today.
[00:05:40] No long walk in the middle of the day.
[00:05:41] We didn't go on a long walk.
[00:05:43] The last walk was...
[00:05:44] We were planning on a long walk.
[00:05:45] This walk was what Claire Danes might call a walk to remember.
[00:05:49] I don't know.
[00:05:51] I think that was Mandy Moore.
[00:05:53] I think it was Omar Sharif and Claire Giroldo.
[00:06:02] Claire Giroldo.
[00:06:03] A hot little teen starlet from the 2000s.
[00:06:07] Yeah.
[00:06:08] She was great at Rose.
[00:06:09] It was Omar Monday and Julia Smells.
[00:06:11] Yeah.
[00:06:12] Julia Smells is one of those female kinds.
[00:06:15] Julia Styles does seem like out of all those ladies she has to smell.
[00:06:19] Isn't there a girl named Julia Smells that does comedy in Brooklyn?
[00:06:22] I don't believe so.
[00:06:23] I think it is.
[00:06:24] Yeah.
[00:06:25] Julia Smells.
[00:06:26] Yeah.
[00:06:27] No, I don't think so.
[00:06:28] She's got a master.
[00:06:29] She's really changing the way people think about comedy.
[00:06:32] Yeah.
[00:06:33] With her performance.
[00:06:34] I haven't met her.
[00:06:35] Her set is her just doing the New York Times crossword.
[00:06:37] Yeah.
[00:06:38] I don't know her.
[00:06:39] Julia Smells.
[00:06:40] Yeah.
[00:06:41] She's deconstructing the genre.
[00:06:42] Yeah.
[00:06:43] Deconsucking my penis.
[00:06:45] That means I'm not doing it.
[00:06:46] No, you're doing it in a new and interesting way.
[00:06:48] Oh, OK.
[00:06:49] Well, you've got my balls in your throat and you've got and you're licking my dick.
[00:06:55] I'm sort of sitting.
[00:06:56] I'm sitting on you.
[00:06:57] I'm upside down.
[00:06:58] So you're laying down and I'm dipping.
[00:07:02] You're sucking my balls like they're a cock.
[00:07:04] But you got them all the way down.
[00:07:06] You've kind of actually swallowed them.
[00:07:08] Well, sorry.
[00:07:09] You swallowed my balls.
[00:07:10] No, you're going to throw them up eventually.
[00:07:12] Yeah.
[00:07:13] Yeah.
[00:07:14] You've got your balls.
[00:07:15] You've got your balls.
[00:07:16] But your tongue is licking my cock.
[00:07:18] Yeah.
[00:07:19] And then eventually you're going to throw my balls up and then I'm going to rub the saliva.
[00:07:23] Yeah.
[00:07:24] You got a whole way to do it.
[00:07:26] When an adult did that, got your nose thing to me for the first time.
[00:07:29] It really pissed me off as a kid.
[00:07:31] I was like, what the fuck are you talking about?
[00:07:34] I never believed it for a second.
[00:07:35] I never felt for it.
[00:07:37] But I'm like, why are you lying to me right now?
[00:07:39] You believe it.
[00:07:40] No, you both believed it.
[00:07:41] I got scared for a second.
[00:07:43] I believed why you got your nose thing.
[00:07:46] No, I didn't believe that shit.
[00:07:47] Yeah, you did.
[00:07:48] I was a fucking stupid like you.
[00:07:50] No.
[00:07:51] No, you're stupid.
[00:07:52] I wasn't smart.
[00:07:53] I wasn't stupid.
[00:07:54] You were stupid.
[00:07:55] No, I was smart as a baby and I'm dumb now.
[00:07:58] No.
[00:07:59] You're still a baby now and you're as dumb as your eyes are baby.
[00:08:02] I was a smart baby and I'm a dumb man.
[00:08:04] No.
[00:08:05] What kind of shit were you doing as a baby?
[00:08:06] I was talking at eight months.
[00:08:08] Thank you very much.
[00:08:09] You really?
[00:08:10] Yes.
[00:08:11] And everyone's like, look who's talking.
[00:08:12] He says, I'm hungry.
[00:08:15] Milano, Matata, Tahoe, Sosalito, Pepperage Fireman.
[00:08:22] That's how I saw him.
[00:08:23] He won all the geography contest as a kid.
[00:08:25] Because I learned.
[00:08:26] Because I learned cookie.
[00:08:27] Via Pepperage Farm.
[00:08:28] Yeah, you knew all the animal crackers.
[00:08:31] I was a very verbal baby.
[00:08:33] You were.
[00:08:34] In Greek though, I didn't speak English until I was like three or four.
[00:08:37] Really, what other words do you know?
[00:08:41] What other words?
[00:08:42] Yeah.
[00:08:43] What was your first word?
[00:08:44] I'll probably mom.
[00:08:45] I don't fucking know.
[00:08:46] Boy, you just said you were speaking.
[00:08:48] I would imagine if you were speaking, you would remember what you were speaking.
[00:08:51] Do you remember what you said 10 years ago?
[00:08:53] Yes.
[00:08:54] What?
[00:08:55] You first.
[00:08:56] 10 years ago, the people don't need healthcare.
[00:08:58] Because they wanted they can work for it.
[00:09:04] Ron Paul is a faggot on that neutrality, but everything else.
[00:09:08] Especially the anti war stuff.
[00:09:11] I'm tired of Americans having to die for Israel.
[00:09:14] Right.
[00:09:15] And in there, you were part of the Ron Paul revolution.
[00:09:18] And in the end, there is the one bit of consistency.
[00:09:21] Right.
[00:09:22] Yeah, 10 years ago, I remember saying something like, you'll never be able to find me.
[00:09:29] So the allegations will never surface.
[00:09:31] Mm.
[00:09:32] But now I'm terrified.
[00:09:33] You think because of the internet, the democratizing power of the internet.
[00:09:37] So now you'll be held accountable for your.
[00:09:39] Adam rape.
[00:09:41] So now I've come out as queer to deflect from the allegations.
[00:09:46] No, queer me now.
[00:09:48] No, queer me now.
[00:09:50] Fuck me on the asshole.
[00:09:53] No, queer me now.
[00:09:55] No, queer me now.
[00:09:57] That's cool.
[00:09:59] Well, you know, whatever.
[00:10:01] And what were the allegations?
[00:10:04] The allegations were that I helped a struggling family find a new house.
[00:10:13] No.
[00:10:14] And they said, how could we let people know?
[00:10:15] He was a surrogate mother.
[00:10:17] Yes.
[00:10:18] And he killed the baby by letting somebody blow his ass out while he was not physically
[00:10:25] possible on two fronts.
[00:10:26] He was nine months ass.
[00:10:28] He was incubating a baby in his ass.
[00:10:29] Yeah, for cash and now he for a rich, childless family.
[00:10:35] That's awesome.
[00:10:36] It's true.
[00:10:37] It's true.
[00:10:38] You could probably incubate a baby in an ass.
[00:10:39] Do they have those machines now?
[00:10:41] That's what gay guys are doing, though.
[00:10:43] And they're lactating.
[00:10:44] Really?
[00:10:45] Well, it's true.
[00:10:46] Gay guys were lactating before they could have babies.
[00:10:49] But no.
[00:10:50] Were they?
[00:10:51] If you get cummed in.
[00:10:52] Gay guys breastfeed each other.
[00:10:54] It's one of their favorite things to do.
[00:10:57] Can you breast my penis?
[00:11:01] That's a fucking awesome question.
[00:11:02] Can you shit my penis ass?
[00:11:05] Oh, man.
[00:11:06] The lamb roguid Josh.
[00:11:08] He got me sleeping in a motherfucker.
[00:11:11] Has anyone pointed that out that they got a Joe Rogan dish?
[00:11:15] Yeah.
[00:11:16] Indian wrestling.
[00:11:17] Yeah.
[00:11:18] Yeah.
[00:11:19] Indian guys are really into the experience.
[00:11:20] That's like, what the hell?
[00:11:21] What the hell is next?
[00:11:22] Lamb, Louie, CK.
[00:11:23] Yeah.
[00:11:24] Josh.
[00:11:25] Josh.
[00:11:26] Yeah.
[00:11:27] Yeah.
[00:11:28] Louie, CK.
[00:11:29] Josh.
[00:11:30] Lamb, Joey, Coco, Diaz, Josh.
[00:11:31] Yeah.
[00:11:32] Yeah.
[00:11:33] What the hell is next after that?
[00:11:35] Fucking chicken.
[00:11:36] Chicken Irish.
[00:11:38] Chicken Irish.
[00:11:39] Johnny Seinfeld.
[00:11:40] Mm-hmm.
[00:11:41] What do we got?
[00:11:42] You were doing podcasts.
[00:11:43] Oh.
[00:11:44] You're doing comedians.
[00:11:45] Yeah, I said Louie, CK.
[00:11:46] I know.
[00:11:47] I was, I.
[00:11:48] You weren't paying attention.
[00:11:49] I fucked up the bid again.
[00:11:50] No, no, it's fine.
[00:11:51] I was going podcast.
[00:11:52] Nick went more traditional comedian.
[00:11:54] Just believing yourself, Adam.
[00:11:55] It's okay.
[00:11:56] I'm getting up.
[00:11:57] We had anybody named Armstrong, always becomes famous for something.
[00:12:01] That's a strong, strong, Louie Armstrong.
[00:12:03] That is so fucking true.
[00:12:05] It's like the Armstrong curse.
[00:12:07] Yeah.
[00:12:08] Yeah.
[00:12:09] These guys.
[00:12:10] One have a private life.
[00:12:11] You're basically destined for some kind of fame, either bicycle or trumpet or being an
[00:12:15] astronaut.
[00:12:16] And guess what, guys?
[00:12:17] I'm saying you're not chopped off from the fucking Cheryl Crow.
[00:12:19] We can say this as three successful famous guys.
[00:12:21] Be careful what you wish for.
[00:12:23] Yeah.
[00:12:24] Yeah.
[00:12:25] That's so fun to be an Armstrong.
[00:12:27] I heard, yeah.
[00:12:28] I wish for Adam to get the HIV virus for my birthday last year.
[00:12:33] Yeah.
[00:12:34] And be careful what you wish for Nick because...
[00:12:36] Is that what you did right before you blew out the candles?
[00:12:40] Well, now you said it, dude.
[00:12:41] Now it's not going to come true.
[00:12:43] I know.
[00:12:44] I had a time frame.
[00:12:45] I was doing magical thinking.
[00:12:48] Oh, wow.
[00:12:49] Mm-hmm.
[00:12:50] You know, you really should have magical thinking.
[00:12:53] Yeah.
[00:12:54] It's just like how women's brains work, I guess.
[00:12:57] Yeah.
[00:12:58] What's magical thinking?
[00:12:59] They're like, if I go on a diet for three weeks, he's going to call me back.
[00:13:02] I'm going to get the job.
[00:13:05] If I...
[00:13:06] Is that just manifesting?
[00:13:07] Yeah, well, when a man manifests something, it's different than magical thinking.
[00:13:12] Okay.
[00:13:13] Yeah.
[00:13:14] Manifesting is like sort of like a will to form or a will to power.
[00:13:18] You bend the world to your desires.
[00:13:21] Yeah.
[00:13:22] It's the strength of your mind.
[00:13:23] Hold on.
[00:13:24] How did Benito Mussolini describe fascism?
[00:13:27] I'm interested.
[00:13:30] Yeah.
[00:13:31] It's history.
[00:13:32] His girl was like a fucking hot bitch, right?
[00:13:35] He got a hot bitch?
[00:13:36] I think so.
[00:13:37] So that was the difference between him and the old Adolf.
[00:13:41] Yeah.
[00:13:42] Hitler wanted to fucking fucking child niece or whatever, cousin or whatever.
[00:13:48] Mussolini girlfriend.
[00:13:51] Yeah.
[00:13:52] I think I saw a picture like his grandpa.
[00:13:56] How about a guy named Bruce O'Lini?
[00:13:58] Yeah.
[00:13:59] Okay.
[00:14:00] I have a daughter to Carari.
[00:14:02] Oh, that's good.
[00:14:04] I have a daughter with her to Carari.
[00:14:08] Oh, damn.
[00:14:09] Never mind.
[00:14:10] His bitch wasn't like fine.
[00:14:11] Oh, never mind.
[00:14:12] Now I don't like him again.
[00:14:17] Now I don't like...
[00:14:18] Ooh, there's some not chill pictures of what happened to her.
[00:14:21] She got her pussy slammed.
[00:14:23] No, her whole body was kind of hung upside down.
[00:14:27] Her body is busted.
[00:14:29] Yeah.
[00:14:30] She's got a busted body.
[00:14:32] How's the new camping chair, Adam?
[00:14:35] The new camping chair is just as comfortable as the old one, but I got a new one that's
[00:14:41] now arrived at my house.
[00:14:42] You can just get this added.
[00:14:43] This should go lamping.
[00:14:44] Oh, wow.
[00:14:45] Yeah.
[00:14:46] So I was really benefiting my...
[00:14:48] I really pooped.
[00:14:50] You shitted your way up.
[00:14:51] It was a deliberate poop.
[00:14:53] No.
[00:14:54] Don't try this.
[00:14:55] What's the difference between glamping and camping?
[00:14:57] You have nicer stuff there.
[00:15:00] Maybe PS5.
[00:15:01] I don't understand the difference between the two.
[00:15:05] Camping you're just outside in a fucking little dick-ass tent.
[00:15:08] Bugs are sucking on your dick and shit.
[00:15:09] Sucks.
[00:15:10] That sounds like being bad at camping.
[00:15:12] Yeah.
[00:15:13] No, dude.
[00:15:14] Any camping, you're just in a tent.
[00:15:16] No camping is like you're being real efficient with what you're taking.
[00:15:20] It's like poor shit.
[00:15:22] Glamping is like there's electricity.
[00:15:24] You got an RV maybe.
[00:15:26] They got that.
[00:15:27] What's that game we're trying?
[00:15:28] What's RV stand for?
[00:15:29] Recreational vehicle.
[00:15:30] Really?
[00:15:31] Yeah.
[00:15:32] What did you think it's so far?
[00:15:34] Oh, okay.
[00:15:35] It was retard.
[00:15:36] There's retard of a giant?
[00:15:38] Retard of a giant.
[00:15:39] I thought it was going to say.
[00:15:41] There's retard virgin.
[00:15:43] There's speaking of retard...
[00:15:46] They had to cancel the virgin Atlantic flight to space.
[00:15:50] How come?
[00:16:02] Because you're gay.
[00:16:03] What the hell is coming?
[00:16:05] Yeah, I don't wanna say anything.
[00:16:08] Are you fucking serious right now?
[00:16:10] No, he's not being serious.
[00:16:12] Am I really gay?
[00:16:13] Come on, just look through that.
[00:16:15] Am I actually gay and that's the reason we stand the fucking cancel the shit?
[00:16:18] We do this joke all the time.
[00:16:20] But is that true?
[00:16:21] But it's not.
[00:16:22] Why they had to cancel a space flight?
[00:16:23] You weren't even on the plane.
[00:16:24] I thought the space flight happened.
[00:16:25] You weren't on it.
[00:16:26] Because they plugged in the directions to the moon and they realized it was actually
[00:16:30] going to your house.
[00:16:31] I don't understand why they do that.
[00:16:36] What did they got?
[00:16:37] Google Maps for a fucking space flight?
[00:16:39] Yeah.
[00:16:41] And it got confused and was gonna go to my house.
[00:16:43] Who's gonna go to your house?
[00:16:45] Me too, let me guess, I'm as round as the moon and as big.
[00:16:48] Because your gravity pulled the directions in that direction.
[00:16:52] I wish my gravity tough.
[00:16:53] Because you know what?
[00:16:54] People say that about fat people.
[00:16:56] I would love it if like a hot bitch got pulled into my gravity.
[00:16:59] Wow, yeah.
[00:17:00] I was pulling my weeness out.
[00:17:04] Your elbow?
[00:17:05] No, my dick.
[00:17:06] Your weeness is your elbow skin, bro.
[00:17:08] Nice.
[00:17:09] Dude, you feel good about that?
[00:17:10] Yeah, that's like a little kid thing to know.
[00:17:12] That was pretty meaness of you, Adam.
[00:17:15] It wasn't being mean.
[00:17:16] Now I'm gonna fuck your penis.
[00:17:17] To talk about Stav's tiny penis.
[00:17:19] No, I'm saying it about the size of my dick.
[00:17:22] I'm just telling you, I shouldn't use that word to refer to his tiny penis.
[00:17:26] Tiny classic.
[00:17:27] Yeah.
[00:17:28] Yeah, my dick is a fucking classic miniature.
[00:17:31] My penis is a tiny dancer.
[00:17:32] Like a Hershey's kiss.
[00:17:34] That's where they describe Stav's dick often.
[00:17:37] No one does describe the title.
[00:17:38] Like a Hershey's kiss, see you balance the top of Tootsie Roll.
[00:17:43] Okay, at least we're getting closer now.
[00:17:46] At least I got a little more girth.
[00:17:48] Or I guess like, like, that gives you some like, not a lot of girth.
[00:17:52] Like a little like, a little like a.
[00:17:55] Tootsie Roll minis.
[00:17:56] Yeah, like a play no regular Tootsie Roll.
[00:17:59] Don't even try.
[00:18:00] In fact, you know what it is?
[00:18:01] It's the big Tootsie Rolls that they give you in Halloween.
[00:18:04] No guys.
[00:18:05] And we've gone to fall.
[00:18:06] I found out about shots and the description is now completely incorrect.
[00:18:11] No, it's completely correct.
[00:18:12] And it's wrong.
[00:18:13] I found out about a new food that they're selling.
[00:18:16] I went to movies.
[00:18:17] They're called Pop Tarts minis.
[00:18:20] It's not you.
[00:18:21] Dude, I came up with the idea for that.
[00:18:24] Not you.
[00:18:25] What do you mean not old?
[00:18:27] Everybody knows bite size pop.
[00:18:29] Everybody knows about that atom.
[00:18:30] I just found out.
[00:18:31] That's what snacks are.
[00:18:32] You don't even fucking keep a breast of snack technology.
[00:18:35] You're going to come here.
[00:18:36] I thought it was a cool advancement that I just wanted to share with you guys.
[00:18:42] And Nick apparently came up with that idea.
[00:18:45] When?
[00:18:46] I remember there was an Oreo minis came out.
[00:18:48] I remember that.
[00:18:49] There was a commercial with a little boy where he's in school and they put it in his hand
[00:18:54] and he's looking to size the Oreo in his hand and he runs over in school and measures
[00:18:57] himself against the wall.
[00:19:00] And if there's a way to edit that commercial, so it's a little boy like looking in his hand
[00:19:05] and he's like, oh, then you see him run home and he's running through the kitchen and
[00:19:08] he just quickly grabs the ruler off the counter and he runs into the bathroom.
[00:19:18] It's like Oreo's minis.
[00:19:20] It'll make you think you're dick.
[00:19:22] Your dick will look huge.
[00:19:23] It'll make you think you're dick is bigger.
[00:19:26] You could put one of them on the top of your dick head and it'll look like a giant hand
[00:19:31] and packages of Oreo minis for two free tickets to see Harry Potter, the social stone.
[00:19:38] Stop when's the last time you legitimately measured your penis?
[00:19:41] I don't know, man.
[00:19:44] It's been a while.
[00:19:45] I did the last time I went to the doctor, I guess.
[00:19:48] What in the hell are you doing?
[00:19:51] Yeah, that's true.
[00:19:53] They should make you put that on your ID.
[00:19:55] Dix size?
[00:19:56] Yeah.
[00:19:57] No, they shouldn't.
[00:19:58] Well, it's all kind of some things.
[00:19:59] It's all shit that women ask, like your height or your eyes.
[00:20:03] Well, let them fucking wonder.
[00:20:05] No, there should be a couple of guys.
[00:20:07] Follow the questions for the guys on the ID.
[00:20:09] Oh, so the guys are the ones who want to know how big your dick is?
[00:20:12] Yeah.
[00:20:13] No, it's a girl.
[00:20:14] Who the fuck?
[00:20:15] Who's at random messaging you?
[00:20:17] It's always the fellas.
[00:20:19] What do you mean?
[00:20:20] It's always the guy.
[00:20:21] See my dick?
[00:20:22] Yeah.
[00:20:23] Yeah.
[00:20:24] I've never gotten a guy asking.
[00:20:25] Well, I mean, I guess I got a guy.
[00:20:26] Well, I guess I kind of just want to oil you up and roll you around like a big old.
[00:20:32] Like a big old waterfall.
[00:20:34] Get a sexual manager.
[00:20:37] Yes.
[00:20:38] Yeah.
[00:20:39] Make Thanksgiving dinner, I guess, in the bed.
[00:20:42] That's true.
[00:20:44] What they call it?
[00:20:45] Look, they want to see my dick, but you know, they play pilgrims and Indians.
[00:20:50] So you're saying gay men playing the first time the first dinner playing first.
[00:20:55] Thanks.
[00:20:56] They play a little Plymouth Rock.
[00:20:57] Yeah.
[00:20:58] I'm the dinner.
[00:20:59] My ass or my dick and they're all amazing.
[00:21:00] And they're all amazing.
[00:21:01] You're a nice hot roll.
[00:21:02] They want to split you up and have some steam coming off.
[00:21:04] Yeah.
[00:21:05] Big old piece of Hawaiian Kings bread.
[00:21:07] Oh, so good.
[00:21:10] So damn good.
[00:21:11] That's Hawaiian bread.
[00:21:12] Well, girls may not ask because they don't have the good Lord.
[00:21:17] You know what they would ask about is taking the table table table by the.
[00:21:22] Chewable dick, blue to come home of chewables.
[00:21:28] I love chewables.
[00:21:29] And I'll tell you what, folks, if you're new to the shell and you're you've been listening
[00:21:33] for the last 20 minutes, you're like, this is one of the funniest things.
[00:21:39] How can I?
[00:21:41] This is a beautiful show.
[00:21:45] You guys need to give these guys.
[00:21:48] These guys, I need to work in fun.
[00:21:50] They have their money and their sponsors.
[00:21:53] I tell you what, I saw the fucking Beatles with fucking social distortion live.
[00:22:01] Well, no way.
[00:22:03] Where were your points for Billy Carnegie Hall fucking January 87, 1977.
[00:22:11] Really?
[00:22:12] And then I'd tell you what was the show?
[00:22:15] What was a good show?
[00:22:17] It was.
[00:22:18] I mean, it's historical.
[00:22:19] It's one of its, it's probably the crowning achievement of my life.
[00:22:23] A guy that's been living in a rent control department on the upper West side since.
[00:22:28] 1915.
[00:22:29] This is when I was a part of the free love movement by going to go by seeing Bob Dylan
[00:22:34] all the time.
[00:22:35] And dressing like Bob Dylan pretending I was Bob Dylan and not yet.
[00:22:38] And carrying a guitar around the town.
[00:22:40] That's a kind of a little pussy, but not enough.
[00:22:42] Getting getting a very little amount of pussy that in my senior citizen years I've convinced
[00:22:48] myself is a lot.
[00:22:49] With every year with more people that have died, I embellish how much I used to.
[00:22:57] And now my entire life is just creeping people out on Facebook.
[00:23:03] Posting pictures of pictures that are clearly framed.
[00:23:06] Yeah.
[00:23:07] And you might have framed polo or zoom my house.
[00:23:10] Yes.
[00:23:11] You can see the fucking reflection coming off the fucking glass.
[00:23:13] And I saw that and I listened to this show and I said, I listened first to one of my
[00:23:17] sisters show and I said, these guys, it reminds me of fucking Dylan and McCartney in concert
[00:23:22] together.
[00:23:23] Yes.
[00:23:24] Corona Park, 1977.
[00:23:25] This is the story.
[00:23:26] I went with my girlfriend at the time.
[00:23:29] She's half Puerto Rican.
[00:23:30] It's 75 about 95% Jewish, but she had a tan.
[00:23:35] Yeah.
[00:23:36] And Puerto Rican style.
[00:23:37] Diane, Diane Feinstein.
[00:23:38] I used to call her Feinstein.
[00:23:40] Steve.
[00:23:41] I have a fine.
[00:23:42] A hot piece of pussy.
[00:23:44] Yeah.
[00:23:45] And we went together and I never, I never fucked her.
[00:23:53] I never got.
[00:23:54] How long are you guys dating?
[00:23:55] We went, we went.
[00:23:56] How long are you guys dating?
[00:23:57] We were going steady for a while.
[00:23:58] You were going with her.
[00:23:59] I spent, then you're my father died.
[00:24:02] I inherited $3,500 and she took all of it.
[00:24:05] That was summer love.
[00:24:07] And the only thing that makes me feel remotely like that feeling is going to blueshad.com.
[00:24:15] To buy chewable tablets.
[00:24:17] To make my dick hard.
[00:24:18] To make my dick hard.
[00:24:19] And I look at that Polaroid of me outside of the Bob's big boy in Asbury Park, New Jersey
[00:24:30] with the man I thought was a Bruce Spring scenes manager.
[00:24:34] But it wasn't.
[00:24:35] It wasn't.
[00:24:36] It was just a, it was just some guy.
[00:24:39] But you know, I was basically famous.
[00:24:41] Yeah.
[00:24:42] You had a moment.
[00:24:43] That was a moment.
[00:24:44] You had a real moment.
[00:24:45] And I went to blueshad.com and Adam, why don't you do us?
[00:24:49] Why don't you tell us about your experience?
[00:24:52] My experience with chewable tablets.
[00:24:54] Chewable tablets.
[00:24:55] Well, I had a great experience.
[00:24:56] Chewable cock tablets.
[00:24:57] Because one of the benefits of blueshad.com is that there are no in person doctor visits.
[00:25:02] And there are a lot of doctors around town that I'm banned from seeing actually.
[00:25:06] Right.
[00:25:07] How come?
[00:25:08] Because I tried to see them too many times.
[00:25:09] I was making up ailments.
[00:25:10] But now you're showing each other cool things on the phone.
[00:25:13] What was the name?
[00:25:15] Don't worry about it.
[00:25:16] Just keep talking about the fucking pills.
[00:25:18] I just fell left out.
[00:25:20] They're not pills.
[00:25:21] They're chewable tablets.
[00:25:22] Yeah, that's right.
[00:25:23] Good job Adam.
[00:25:25] And so anyway, I was able to have a brief consultation over video conference with a medical professional
[00:25:33] that bluechoo.com set me up with.
[00:25:35] Wow.
[00:25:36] And I was immediately provided with a prescription for the dalaphil and tilata of the fill.
[00:25:42] Both.
[00:25:43] No, you choose one.
[00:25:44] Or I chose one.
[00:25:45] It was right for you.
[00:25:46] She said you want the red pillar of the blue pill.
[00:25:49] Yup.
[00:25:50] And I went blue pill.
[00:25:51] Wow.
[00:25:52] Send me back.
[00:25:53] Send me back.
[00:25:54] With a hard ass dick.
[00:25:55] With a hard ass dick.
[00:25:56] Send me back.
[00:25:57] You can either take the red pill and know what's going on.
[00:26:01] Or the blue will be soft as shit.
[00:26:03] Or the blue.
[00:26:04] Or you take the red pill.
[00:26:05] Or join me in the real world.
[00:26:07] Where you're taking the blue pill.
[00:26:10] You get a bunch of chubby pussy.
[00:26:12] Listen, one of the world's finest delicacies if you ask me.
[00:26:17] Thank you.
[00:26:18] Little piece of chubby pussy pie.
[00:26:20] What's the Ford Model T?
[00:26:22] A pussy.
[00:26:23] Classic.
[00:26:24] A pussy for the middle class.
[00:26:26] That's right, brother.
[00:26:27] That's absolutely correct.
[00:26:28] Anyway, so after a brief consultation.
[00:26:31] I'm a blue collar guy and my dick is a blue tablet.
[00:26:34] I got I got blued up after a brief consultation.
[00:26:38] The blue collar commentary is actually it's just.
[00:26:41] They take out one of his stuff's balls and everyone laughs at it.
[00:26:45] And then his penis and then they laugh.
[00:26:47] And then they laugh at his other ball.
[00:26:49] What is the collar part?
[00:26:51] And this orange.
[00:26:52] He's where I was.
[00:26:53] A blue shirt.
[00:26:54] This is a blue shirt.
[00:26:55] Kind of a best buyer.
[00:26:56] And it's all a blue shirt.
[00:26:58] What the hell?
[00:26:59] A blue shirt doctor.
[00:27:00] Are you serious?
[00:27:01] Yeah.
[00:27:02] I don't remember that.
[00:27:04] After taking these chewable towels I have received no complaints in the bedroom.
[00:27:09] Afterwards I have received a couple suspicious text messages from lovers of mine.
[00:27:14] That's in the bedroom.
[00:27:15] They say what the hell were you thinking of a man again?
[00:27:17] Your dick was fully hard.
[00:27:19] What the hell is going on?
[00:27:21] Okay, that's a rude.
[00:27:23] That's a rude impression.
[00:27:24] It's me.
[00:27:25] Your boyfriend is from hell.
[00:27:26] Your boyfriend is from hell.
[00:27:27] Your boyfriend is from hell.
[00:27:28] Your boyfriend is from hell.
[00:27:29] Your boyfriend is hated.
[00:27:30] That's scary.
[00:27:31] Yes.
[00:27:32] I mean I have not filled my ass too good at it.
[00:27:34] Yes, it's true.
[00:27:40] I've been topping Satan much like Saddam Hussein in the South Park movie.
[00:27:47] Right.
[00:27:48] Yep.
[00:27:49] And we've been having fantastic sex.
[00:27:51] That's awesome.
[00:27:52] Thanks to the chewable tablets.
[00:27:53] But it's only thanks to the chewable tablets provided to me from bluechew.com.
[00:27:57] I love them myself.
[00:27:59] And if you love sex, you'll love bluechew.com.
[00:28:03] All three of the hosts of this show get their dicks hard artificially with the help of
[00:28:08] bluechew.
[00:28:09] And if you want to be like us, which we know you want to be like us, for some reason you
[00:28:13] do for some, then go to bluechew.com and use promo code COMTOWN or COMTOWN20 or go to
[00:28:21] go.bluechew.com.
[00:28:22] I believe slash com town.
[00:28:25] Did you tell him about the known person doctors?
[00:28:28] Yeah.
[00:28:29] Yeah.
[00:28:30] And did you tell him about second chance financing?
[00:28:34] No, I didn't tell him about that.
[00:28:36] You know, you could put your big pups on layaway.
[00:28:38] I thought you guys would make fun of me for talking that way on the show.
[00:28:42] And we would have listen, there are no gimmicks.
[00:28:46] There's no tricks.
[00:28:48] There's no.
[00:28:49] I'm getting sweet podcast with our eyes closed for the rest of it.
[00:28:52] I think we should.
[00:28:53] Good.
[00:28:54] Honestly, this fucking we had that samosa.
[00:28:55] I need a fucking nap.
[00:28:58] I'm starting to get into thinking about that old, old guy looking at his penis.
[00:29:03] Who?
[00:29:04] Old guy.
[00:29:05] The old guy with the big go.bluechew.com.
[00:29:08] No, the guy going to see the stones.
[00:29:12] Oh, that guy.
[00:29:13] Oh, yeah.
[00:29:14] That's a new I like that guy.
[00:29:15] That's a because it's you.
[00:29:17] I saw the stone.
[00:29:18] It's me.
[00:29:19] If I was from a different generation, January 15, 1969.
[00:29:25] I actually scratched that it was velvet revolver slash was there.
[00:29:31] I saw a sky whale.
[00:29:32] I asked myself a question.
[00:29:34] What if slash and Scott Whalen were in the same band together?
[00:29:37] And I think someone from Rage Against the Machine maybe who else was in.
[00:29:42] It's hard to say.
[00:29:43] Velvet revolver.
[00:29:44] I believe it was just Stump
[00:29:53] I'm a dumb ass.
[00:30:02] You should remember audio slave because you're you were in a band called penis slave.
[00:30:05] Yeah.
[00:30:06] Yeah, that's right.
[00:30:07] And it was just you.
[00:30:08] It was it was a combination of the groups Rage Against Being Straight.
[00:30:12] And penis garden.
[00:30:15] You know what guys.
[00:30:17] We feel like we're penis garden.
[00:30:23] We feel like you were run out and by the way you were in both of those bands.
[00:30:27] Yeah.
[00:30:28] And the band members were you Tom more penis please.
[00:30:33] Chris Horny L for penis and Zach De La Pena.
[00:30:42] And now he was not an audience.
[00:30:45] All right, man, I thought it was different.
[00:30:49] I'm sorry.
[00:30:50] I think we you know it's fine dude.
[00:30:52] I wasn't the point is you were in penis slave.
[00:30:55] All right.
[00:30:56] And the important thing to remember is that you.
[00:30:59] It's cocktill.
[00:31:00] Sucker.
[00:31:01] Cocktill.
[00:31:02] Sucker.
[00:31:03] That's you.
[00:31:04] Oh, so.
[00:31:05] Cone your dear.
[00:31:06] Some famous songs.
[00:31:07] Like I'm gay.
[00:31:08] Bull's in my ass.
[00:31:15] Yeah.
[00:31:16] Man, man, man.
[00:31:18] My dicks mom.
[00:31:19] I'm gay.
[00:31:20] Fuck my ass.
[00:31:21] I'm gay.
[00:31:22] Sucking in the name of.
[00:31:24] See you.
[00:31:26] Power bottom.
[00:31:27] Power bottom.
[00:31:28] I want to lick on a pussy.
[00:31:31] I want to lick on a pussy.
[00:31:34] I want to lick on a pussy.
[00:31:37] I like to suck on man's all cock.
[00:31:40] Game real.
[00:31:41] Game real low radio.
[00:31:43] Yeah.
[00:31:44] Game real low radio.
[00:31:45] That's pretty good.
[00:31:47] Sleep now in a guy's bed.
[00:31:49] It's on fire.
[00:31:51] Yeah.
[00:31:52] A little bit of rain.
[00:31:55] There's a you reaching for a guy's cock.
[00:31:58] It's got a cookie jar filled with cone.
[00:32:01] Yeah.
[00:32:02] And flex with cock.
[00:32:03] I'm sorry.
[00:32:04] Not flex with cock flex with shit.
[00:32:06] Yeah.
[00:32:07] Because a guy's shit out.
[00:32:08] Why don't people just learn how to dose fentanyl?
[00:32:11] What do you mean?
[00:32:12] What's nice about this?
[00:32:13] Is it fun to take?
[00:32:14] It's an opiate.
[00:32:16] Yeah, I guess so.
[00:32:18] Here's the thing.
[00:32:19] Most drugs aren't fun to take, really.
[00:32:23] Once you're old.
[00:32:25] I thought fentanyl just becomes a necessity.
[00:32:27] I thought fentanyl, even if you have a little, you just die.
[00:32:30] Or is that what the liars at the anti-fentanyl?
[00:32:35] How about the anti-fentanyl as the United Colors of fentanyl?
[00:32:39] Oh, yeah.
[00:32:40] Nice little pre-call back.
[00:32:43] You'll hear that one.
[00:32:45] Let's say about five and a half weeks.
[00:32:50] I'll suck on your dick.
[00:32:54] United Colors of fentanyl.
[00:32:57] Ventilator.
[00:32:58] I'll get my ass full.
[00:33:03] It's an English plumpkin.
[00:33:07] Okay.
[00:33:08] That's why a woman eats your ass while you're pissing.
[00:33:11] Mmm.
[00:33:12] You have to straddle the toilet with your ass out in the air and you piss while she eats your
[00:33:18] ass.
[00:33:19] So you're bent over?
[00:33:21] No, you're angling your dick towards the...
[00:33:24] You're straddling the toilet reverse.
[00:33:26] Reverse?
[00:33:27] Like a cool teacher.
[00:33:28] Like a cool teacher.
[00:33:29] Yeah.
[00:33:30] But you're leaning forward to push your ass out.
[00:33:33] I see, I see.
[00:33:34] And then your dick is probably completely submerged.
[00:33:36] He's submerged in the water.
[00:33:37] That's hot.
[00:33:38] That's awesome.
[00:33:39] And you're jet streaming into the water while you're at it.
[00:33:42] That must feel cool.
[00:33:44] And that's the English plumpkin.
[00:33:46] Now, let me ask you about the English plumpkin.
[00:33:48] Are you worried because we've all been there when we're pissing sometimes?
[00:33:52] Yeah, we're making sure we don't make this a regular thing.
[00:33:55] I'm just monopony.
[00:33:57] James.
[00:33:58] Aren't you afraid you would fart in her mouth or is that part of it?
[00:34:01] That's part of it.
[00:34:02] Yeah, like when you're pissing and farting.
[00:34:04] Yeah, cause what you did...
[00:34:06] You know what?
[00:34:07] So people say sometimes, that guy's not a feminist.
[00:34:10] No one says that.
[00:34:11] You thought about it.
[00:34:12] You thought about it.
[00:34:13] No one says that.
[00:34:14] You know?
[00:34:15] Just what if in case you fart into the lady's house?
[00:34:17] Everyone knows I'm basically fucking Susan B. Anthony.
[00:34:19] What did she do?
[00:34:21] No, she made the flag.
[00:34:23] Fuck.
[00:34:24] No.
[00:34:25] Who's the suffrage bitch?
[00:34:26] That was Dolly.
[00:34:27] Are you sure not Susan and I'm a man, Anthony?
[00:34:30] You're a man, Anthony.
[00:34:31] That is who I am.
[00:34:33] I just remembered.
[00:34:34] Yeah.
[00:34:35] I'm Susan, Opie and Anthony.
[00:34:37] That'd be cool.
[00:34:38] Yeah.
[00:34:39] Yeah.
[00:34:40] See?
[00:34:41] Like, fuck it, man.
[00:34:45] They're like, uh, women should be able to vote.
[00:34:48] Stupid.
[00:34:49] Yeah.
[00:34:50] Yeah.
[00:34:51] Every whole should get to vote.
[00:34:53] Yeah, why don't you let women vote?
[00:34:55] It's stupid.
[00:34:57] Yeah, you goofy bitch.
[00:34:59] Yeah.
[00:35:00] That's good.
[00:35:03] No, they're pretty good.
[00:35:05] Is she the suffrage person?
[00:35:07] No, Susan B. Anthony made the flag.
[00:35:09] Who did suffrage?
[00:35:10] I got Betsy Ross to the flag.
[00:35:12] Susan B.
[00:35:13] Off in the flag.
[00:35:14] Susan B.
[00:35:15] Off in the flag.
[00:35:16] Susan B.
[00:35:17] Did, until losing to Donald Trump.
[00:35:18] The only thing they ever did was probably make a flag.
[00:35:21] I think that's...
[00:35:22] The flag's not that good.
[00:35:24] I think it's an all right flag.
[00:35:26] I like the look of it.
[00:35:28] It's fine.
[00:35:30] Don't tread on me thinking it would have been cooler than Snake.
[00:35:33] It's a badass flag.
[00:35:35] How about a snake and it says,
[00:35:37] don't insert me into your ass.
[00:35:40] We need those for pride.
[00:35:42] Yeah.
[00:35:43] No one talks about how harmful snake pride is for the snake population.
[00:35:47] Yeah, they're not meant to be showing them.
[00:35:49] They're constantly being shoved up.
[00:35:51] Hot ass dudes butts.
[00:35:53] They're just breastfeeding each other.
[00:35:55] This guy going to the street like,
[00:35:57] there's a snake.
[00:35:58] A python.
[00:35:59] It's like this tail is slowly losing animation as it dies in his ass.
[00:36:05] Well, you know what?
[00:36:06] That's what Snake honest on the other side.
[00:36:07] What are you doing to that snake?
[00:36:09] And they're like, the Gerbil got stuck.
[00:36:12] Haven't you ever heard of the old lady that swallowed a fly?
[00:36:15] Fuck.
[00:36:16] Damn.
[00:36:17] We already put a snake in your ass to get the Gerbil out at him?
[00:36:24] No, that's never been a problem that I've...
[00:36:27] But I do think that's a pretty creative solution to that issue.
[00:36:32] Yeah, probably it isn't it.
[00:36:34] Dude, you know it's so hard to find.
[00:36:36] Your penis?
[00:36:37] No.
[00:36:38] In your pants?
[00:36:39] No.
[00:36:40] Yes.
[00:36:41] I'm looking at it right now.
[00:36:42] Fuck.
[00:36:47] A Blu-ray copy of To Live and Die in LA.
[00:36:51] You can't stream it anywhere and I really want to see that movie.
[00:36:53] It's just torrent.
[00:36:54] I guess I should.
[00:36:56] I should get back into torrenting.
[00:36:58] Is the pirate bay still up?
[00:37:00] Yeah.
[00:37:01] It is?
[00:37:02] I think.
[00:37:03] Damn.
[00:37:04] I miss private trackers.
[00:37:06] I remember when I was at the steel everything lifestyle.
[00:37:09] Yeah.
[00:37:12] My teeth just started hurting go bad.
[00:37:15] Indian food was a mistake.
[00:37:17] No, it wasn't a mistake.
[00:37:18] Now you're trying to get so much mileage out of this.
[00:37:21] I was the one that...
[00:37:23] Oh, shut the fuck up.
[00:37:24] I was...
[00:37:25] Guys, is it true if it was me?
[00:37:27] If it was me, there would be hell to pet.
[00:37:30] That's true, but we've covered that, Adam.
[00:37:32] And I even...
[00:37:33] I even so much...
[00:37:34] How do you think this is pronounced?
[00:37:37] What is it?
[00:37:40] Nick's been on Tinder laughing at girls names for the whole...
[00:37:45] Literally the entire show.
[00:37:46] Before the show.
[00:37:47] He was yelling at their profiles.
[00:37:50] Mm-hmm.
[00:37:51] Yeah.
[00:37:52] Dating.
[00:37:53] It's funny that now it's SJW where when it used to be bourbon...
[00:37:59] Do you remember that girls used to say they liked bourbon and travel?
[00:38:04] Mm-hmm.
[00:38:05] Travel, sure.
[00:38:07] Now they're all...
[00:38:08] If you're not a communist, swipe left.
[00:38:10] If you don't want to defund the police...
[00:38:12] I think it's also where you're swiping.
[00:38:14] Come to Queens.
[00:38:15] Nobody's a fucking communist in Queens.
[00:38:17] Everyone wants to put the whole fat Tinder, which is different.
[00:38:20] I'm on regular Tinder.
[00:38:22] I'm on regular Tinder.
[00:38:23] I fucked a few not-fact girls off there.
[00:38:26] Thank you very much.
[00:38:27] I fucked that.
[00:38:31] Hands full of not-fact girls off regular Tinder.
[00:38:34] Thank you very much.
[00:38:36] I'm fat, man.
[00:38:42] They should make a riot for fat people.
[00:38:44] No, they should not.
[00:38:46] That's actually no one I'm in.
[00:38:47] I'm gonna give a fucking hint.
[00:38:48] I'm gonna be stuck.
[00:38:49] I'm gonna cock of the walk in there, dude.
[00:38:50] It's brought...
[00:38:51] Stire.
[00:38:52] Stire.
[00:38:53] Stire.
[00:38:54] Stire.
[00:38:55] Stire.
[00:38:56] Stire.
[00:38:57] Stire.
[00:38:58] Stire.
[00:38:59] Stire.
[00:39:00] Stire.
[00:39:01] Stire.
[00:39:02] Stire.
[00:39:03] Stire of the guys, the that plays..
[00:39:04] I believe..
[00:39:05] What's that guy up there?
[00:39:06] D Corrections.
[00:39:07] What?
[00:39:08] That a matter of fact is I just had Batman and DJ Kick.
[00:39:11] And what do you think?
[00:39:12] He's Mad Game even worse than the Underworld saw with then band example?
[00:39:15] Wob wob wob wob wob.
[00:39:16] I like it.
[00:39:17] I also love D
[00:39:12] band, stay on the team, make it creat
[00:39:19] it!
[00:39:20] I love D
[00:39:21] UTE G
[00:39:28] That's Japanese.
[00:39:29] I love D
[00:39:30] i
[00:39:31] I see, first of all,
[00:39:32] Buck Angel looks like you before you grew the hair out.
[00:39:36] Let's thank you.
[00:39:37] Yeah.
[00:39:38] So he's still sexy as fuck.
[00:39:40] I have to say, and we've mentioned this before,
[00:39:43] the first time you Google Buck Angel naked on Google Images,
[00:39:48] it's one of the most amazing things you ever see.
[00:39:51] I agree.
[00:39:53] I agree with that.
[00:39:55] Does Buck not want to cock?
[00:39:58] Buck?
[00:39:59] Yeah.
[00:40:00] I don't know.
[00:40:01] His name is Buck, and he came to fuck.
[00:40:03] At this point, I guess he could have gotten a cock if he wanted one.
[00:40:06] Yeah.
[00:40:07] Some people don't want a fresh cock.
[00:40:11] Well shout out to Buck.
[00:40:14] Buck Angel's American pornographic film actor, producer, sex educator, and motivational speaker.
[00:40:19] Should we hire him?
[00:40:23] A motivational speaker.
[00:40:25] This is a little tiny microphone with the fingers standing being like,
[00:40:29] get your penis cut off.
[00:40:32] Say with me.
[00:40:33] G-Y-P-Y-P-C-O.
[00:40:38] Get Pippico.
[00:40:40] What do you guys stand for?
[00:40:43] Get your penis cut off.
[00:40:44] And where can you get it cut off?
[00:40:48] And where can you stop?
[00:40:49] Do you want to do the honors?
[00:40:50] I don't know.
[00:40:52] Where can you?
[00:40:53] I'm not sure which.
[00:40:56] It's cushy dream style.
[00:41:00] You can get your penis cut off.
[00:41:04] And Buck Angel, Grim Reaper, the penis, Reaper.
[00:41:10] Well, Buck always never had a cock.
[00:41:13] Yeah, why would that be Buck's cause?
[00:41:15] Oh, Buck's got a pussy.
[00:41:17] Sorry, now I got to rewatch it.
[00:41:19] Buck's kept his pussy.
[00:41:21] Why?
[00:41:22] I don't know, but it just struck me, and now that's what's happening in my mind.
[00:41:26] That's cool.
[00:41:27] Yeah, you're watching real fast.
[00:41:29] We'll talk about how you get your cock chopped off of cushydreams.com.
[00:41:32] cushydreams.com is the premier source of CBD flour.
[00:41:37] High quality.
[00:41:38] And genital reassignment surgeries.
[00:41:40] That's right.
[00:41:41] Well, look, a lot of people are taking all these unnatural pain killers.
[00:41:45] That's true.
[00:41:46] Nick was talking about fentanyl.
[00:41:47] You know, we're talking about all these opiates that are ruining us.
[00:41:50] Well, if you need to get your cock chopped off, you might as well use something from
[00:41:53] Mother Gaia.
[00:41:54] Yeah, something that came from the earth where all of the getting high part was taken out
[00:41:58] of it.
[00:41:59] I used to have the highest.
[00:42:01] Yes, I stick the point.
[00:42:02] It's still technically from the earth, but it's from the earth and it's the highest quality
[00:42:07] version of it.
[00:42:08] And it's the highest quality.
[00:42:09] And by the way, what are you?
[00:42:10] Some kind of little bitch that smoke that fucking takes vape or gummies.
[00:42:14] No, I'm not a bitch.
[00:42:15] No, you smoke that shit.
[00:42:17] Like a fucking grown up.
[00:42:19] So you, when you smoke the whole damn pack, that's what my father taught me.
[00:42:23] And what I like about Cushy Dreams is that it does come in packs.
[00:42:27] You can get the little half gram joints.
[00:42:28] That's my favorite.
[00:42:29] Luxury pre-roll joints and extraordinary smokeable flour.
[00:42:32] I love that kind of smell proof in discrete packaging.
[00:42:34] Boy, I wish I had that for my penis.
[00:42:36] That's right.
[00:42:37] Nick's dick is fucking rock in this place right now.
[00:42:42] The packaging is in discrete.
[00:42:44] One of the dick he's making is fucking making me gag.
[00:42:47] I don't bathe.
[00:42:49] And there's a bunch of, it's permanently attached.
[00:42:53] Part of my dick is color.
[00:42:54] The same color as my underwear.
[00:42:56] It got glued to my underwear by old comm.
[00:43:00] And I peeled it off.
[00:43:02] So this part of the Adidas logo.
[00:43:04] And it smells horrendous.
[00:43:06] Part of the Adidas logo.
[00:43:08] Permanently.
[00:43:09] And there's a juice smile on it.
[00:43:11] Wow.
[00:43:12] Because I was feeding my dick juice.
[00:43:16] You're watering your dick with juice.
[00:43:18] Yeah.
[00:43:19] And usually what I do to cope with this.
[00:43:21] I did that at cushydreams.com, by the way.
[00:43:22] Well, usually what I do to cope with that is just light up and spark a fat one gram joint
[00:43:28] of cushy dreams.
[00:43:29] Full flour, full spax from full flavor.
[00:43:31] Available in create, dream, energy, and hustle.
[00:43:34] Hustle, piece and relax.
[00:43:36] Oh, I love piece and relax.
[00:43:39] I love to spark that shit up.
[00:43:40] Fuck it.
[00:43:41] Choose your mood, bro.
[00:43:42] Go here.
[00:43:43] We got the 835.3.5 grams.
[00:43:44] Oh, grams.
[00:43:49] Oh, grams.
[00:43:50] It was just metric.
[00:43:51] They got an eighth for your ass.
[00:43:53] One eighth Oz cans of beautiful bud.
[00:43:57] And you can choose your can.
[00:43:59] That's my favorite part is pressing the button that says choose your can.
[00:44:03] And I go here and it says dream flour.
[00:44:05] And I click select strength.
[00:44:07] And I'm going to put in that I'm basically one of the strongest guys.
[00:44:11] Yeah.
[00:44:12] And use this stuff.
[00:44:13] So she's an option ultra premium.
[00:44:16] And then we're going to leave.
[00:44:18] There's a number you can run in here.
[00:44:19] And I'm going to hit the plus button.
[00:44:21] We're going to max this out.
[00:44:22] Okay.
[00:44:23] And see how much.
[00:44:24] Let's put.
[00:44:25] Let's see if I put a 1280 add the card.
[00:44:30] You're going to purchase 121280 grams.
[00:44:34] Add the card.
[00:44:36] Sorry, three and a half grams.
[00:44:38] And it says please select some product options.
[00:44:41] Ultra premium done.
[00:44:42] Okay.
[00:44:43] That's awesome.
[00:44:44] Oh, and it's four hundred and twenty four is the amount I'm allowed to add.
[00:44:48] Okay.
[00:44:49] So now I have four hundred and twenty four items in my card.
[00:44:51] Check this out for only twenty one thousand two hundred dollars.
[00:44:56] Using promo code.
[00:44:57] We're going to go to check out right now.
[00:44:59] Let's go down to what's that.
[00:45:03] What's that twenty one thousand go down to have some promo.
[00:45:05] Let's see here.
[00:45:06] Where is the promo code?
[00:45:09] Where's your order?
[00:45:10] The coast code.
[00:45:13] I can't wait till you accidentally buy twenty one thousand dollars.
[00:45:18] Oh, have a go.
[00:45:20] Click here and enter your code.
[00:45:21] When what is it?
[00:45:22] Come down twenty or is it.
[00:45:23] I think it's just come down.
[00:45:25] Come down.
[00:45:27] Apply coupon coupon code applied successfully.
[00:45:32] And let's see.
[00:45:33] Here we go.
[00:45:35] How much?
[00:45:36] But coupon code town it removes four thousand two hundred and four thousand.
[00:45:41] That's a great fucking deal.
[00:45:43] You hear that folks.
[00:45:44] Wow.
[00:45:45] You get you just woke me up.
[00:45:46] I just I just found a way to get four thousand dollars worth of weed for free.
[00:45:52] Yeah.
[00:45:53] We've we've we've a sudden gave you a lot.
[00:45:54] It's essentially it.
[00:45:56] Basically four thousand dollars just by using our promo code.
[00:45:59] And you can turn around and you can sell that four thousand dollars.
[00:46:03] You chop it up and sell it as the half grand free rolls.
[00:46:06] We told them to do this last week.
[00:46:08] You do.
[00:46:09] Yeah, just remember.
[00:46:11] Maybe we got was with Cratum.
[00:46:13] Well, we're the great.
[00:46:15] Yeah, we're businessmen now.
[00:46:17] We're business is part of the Buck Angel business strategy.
[00:46:20] Yeah, if you take our seven, get your bushes out and bust.
[00:46:24] Because she dreams about Busy.
[00:46:26] Because she dreams about Busy.
[00:46:27] Because she dreams about Busy.
[00:46:29] And I can't believe this dude.
[00:46:31] Four thousand dollars.
[00:46:32] Wow.
[00:46:33] I'm winning in the cash flow business.
[00:46:34] That's so awesome, bro.
[00:46:35] Check it out at cushy dreams.com and use the prone co-coam town.
[00:46:39] And you can join our newsletter to receive 15% off an extra order.
[00:46:43] New email exclusive coupon code means another coupon code.
[00:46:48] And their news letter is interesting.
[00:46:50] The news at that's what they call it.
[00:46:52] They call it the weed weed beacon.
[00:46:55] Most of those newsletter said I'm signed up for I want to unsubscribe from.
[00:46:59] How do I subscribe to the cruise letter?
[00:47:02] And it's all about finding guys at night at the park.
[00:47:05] No, it's not.
[00:47:06] You are subscribed to the.
[00:47:07] No, it's about carnival cruises, Norwegian cruises.
[00:47:11] It's about different cruises.
[00:47:13] You can go on and America's back open for business.
[00:47:15] And I want to learn about the different options that we have.
[00:47:18] I like getting stuff.
[00:47:19] That's not a word.
[00:47:20] I like being on a boat.
[00:47:22] Yeah, with other straight guys.
[00:47:26] You're closer.
[00:47:27] Only other straight guys.
[00:47:28] You go on a little rowboat filled with gay guys and they fuck you in the ass.
[00:47:32] You go to the little boat in Central Park and you say it's international waters.
[00:47:36] I'm not gay here.
[00:47:37] Yeah.
[00:47:38] And you get your ass fucked in that little rowboat.
[00:47:40] That's right.
[00:47:41] You're like.
[00:47:42] International waters.
[00:47:43] Yeah.
[00:47:44] Yeah.
[00:47:45] And listen, you know, you buy cushy dreams, but also you go to you should fucking buy
[00:47:51] some some shirts at Stavi.biz and buy some tickets to my upcoming tour.
[00:47:57] Fucking it's about to kick off.
[00:48:00] Patreon.com slash com town to find about the exclusive access to information on where
[00:48:07] the show is.
[00:48:08] That is not you can go to Stavi.biz slash tour for access as well.
[00:48:12] If you don't have the Patreon and we're going to be in Portland, Seattle, Utah.
[00:48:17] Fucking Minneapolis Denver, San Antonio.
[00:48:21] I try and add some other Texas states.
[00:48:23] I've added New Orleans, Cleveland, Phoenix, Madison, Detroit.
[00:48:29] That's that sounds good.
[00:48:32] Tampa.
[00:48:33] Some of the best cities I know.
[00:48:34] And Boston.
[00:48:35] Boston.
[00:48:36] And I'm working hard to keep adding shows throughout the beginning of next year, but
[00:48:41] come out and see your boy.
[00:48:43] Come out and suck my fat little titties and or buy just buy a shirt, you know.
[00:48:48] Yes.
[00:48:49] And suck a dick also.
[00:48:51] Absolutely.
[00:48:53] Try penis if you haven't.
[00:48:55] What?
[00:48:56] Try sucking penis if you haven't.
[00:48:59] At your show?
[00:49:01] Just in your life.
[00:49:02] All right.
[00:49:03] I'll let you know.
[00:49:04] I wasn't talking to you.
[00:49:05] I was talking to everybody.
[00:49:06] Okay.
[00:49:07] Philadelphia cream cheese.
[00:49:11] Let's get into it.
[00:49:12] Where do they get the nerve?
[00:49:13] Thank you.
[00:49:15] Thank you so far.
[00:49:16] Do they get the nerve?
[00:49:17] Who do they think they are?
[00:49:19] As if there's a fucking single piece of Philadelphia history or cuisine that would warrant cream
[00:49:25] cheese.
[00:49:26] Yeah.
[00:49:27] I think one's a bagel from Philadelphia, not me.
[00:49:31] Tell me about it.
[00:49:33] How did that even fucking start?
[00:49:34] Clifford the Big Red Dog.
[00:49:36] No.
[00:49:37] No.
[00:49:38] Come on.
[00:49:39] Clifford the Big Dog.
[00:49:40] Fine.
[00:49:41] Clifford the Red Dog.
[00:49:42] Fine.
[00:49:43] So you think it's too many adjectives?
[00:49:45] They got too much going on.
[00:49:47] One or the other.
[00:49:48] Clifford the Little Game Dog.
[00:49:49] Do they ever explain why the dog is so big?
[00:49:54] No.
[00:49:55] They don't.
[00:49:56] This is Cuomo's daily press briefing.
[00:49:59] Is that still going on?
[00:50:00] Yeah.
[00:50:01] Wasn't it like an emergency thing during COVID?
[00:50:04] No, he's still doing it.
[00:50:05] He loves it, dude.
[00:50:07] Yeah.
[00:50:08] He loves getting to do some time.
[00:50:10] We're going to figure out the right questions to ask regarding the size of the dog.
[00:50:19] Is he big or is he red?
[00:50:21] You can have both.
[00:50:23] Thank you.
[00:50:24] You have to follow the data.
[00:50:26] It's so presidential.
[00:50:27] It's going to be awesome if he runs for president.
[00:50:30] Yeah, he's going to win by so much.
[00:50:34] We're going to have, we're going to have, we're going to, I'm going to suck his dick.
[00:50:39] The dogs, Mr. President.
[00:50:41] I've, what, what I sucked his dick.
[00:50:44] And the dog he came in my mouth.
[00:50:47] Clifford.
[00:50:48] Clifford fucked me in my ass.
[00:50:53] Listen here, Jack.
[00:50:55] Is that so?
[00:50:56] He's a good dog.
[00:50:57] He's a good dog.
[00:50:58] He didn't know what he was doing.
[00:51:00] And he bent me over and he fucked me in my ass.
[00:51:03] He came over and gave me top.
[00:51:06] You say?
[00:51:08] He's a throat gun.
[00:51:10] Fuck.
[00:51:11] I wish there was somebody else to talk like.
[00:51:15] He said the same five fucking dies over and over.
[00:51:18] What about Liza Minnelli?
[00:51:19] I don't know what she said.
[00:51:21] Yeah, you do.
[00:51:22] You were doing it before the show at the Indian restaurant.
[00:51:26] Was I?
[00:51:27] Yeah.
[00:51:28] I think I was just doing it the waiter.
[00:51:29] I see guys trying to speak to him.
[00:51:31] In his native tongue.
[00:51:33] Yeah, that was really embarrassing.
[00:51:34] Well, I thought I could guess it.
[00:51:36] It seemed like a gasable language.
[00:51:39] That was English just in an accent.
[00:51:42] No, I was like, I was like, excuse me.
[00:51:46] And I was like, excuse me.
[00:51:47] And I was like, I got that.
[00:51:48] I got that.
[00:51:49] I got that.
[00:51:50] I got that.
[00:51:51] I don't look bad.
[00:51:53] If you just lower your volume, I listen to him on the phone late at night.
[00:51:59] When they're driving a car, when they're driving the car, taking a quiet phone call, taking
[00:52:03] a quiet sensual phone call.
[00:52:05] Yeah, that's the worst part of that.
[00:52:07] They have a very sensual way.
[00:52:08] It's not romantic.
[00:52:09] Yeah.
[00:52:10] And it's kind of braiding.
[00:52:11] It's just their brother.
[00:52:12] Yeah, they're like, you know, I like that.
[00:52:16] There's always a.
[00:52:17] It always sound like they're licking the other guys.
[00:52:19] I think they ever beat off while driving.
[00:52:28] Yeah.
[00:52:29] Yeah, for ladies.
[00:52:30] That's awesome.
[00:52:31] We've never seen it because we're guys and they have respect for girls.
[00:52:36] I feel like, well, New York schools are returning the in person learning starting June 30th.
[00:52:45] Isn't it summer break ending June 30th?
[00:52:49] They're returning August 31st.
[00:52:54] And you know what that means, folks?
[00:52:56] It's time to start thinking about school supplies.
[00:52:59] Yeah, right.
[00:53:00] At the school shop.
[00:53:03] For pro-trackers, spiral notebooks, travel book, trapper keepers, a gun for some students.
[00:53:09] A gun if you didn't get any pussy and it's time for the world to pay for yourself.
[00:53:13] I watched that interrogation of that Nicholas Cruz kid.
[00:53:17] Who's that?
[00:53:18] The kid that shot up the parkland school.
[00:53:20] Damn.
[00:53:21] It's really embarrassing.
[00:53:22] What's he's talking about?
[00:53:24] Well, he's just like, the fricking voices, man.
[00:53:28] The text is like, oh, yeah, the voices made you do it.
[00:53:30] Oh, he's trying to.
[00:53:31] You think he's trying to act crazy?
[00:53:32] He's trying to act like crazy, but he's saying like, yeah, you know, I mean, it's like watching
[00:53:38] like Lloyd Christmas.
[00:53:39] I'm a freaked up guy.
[00:53:44] I messed up, man.
[00:53:45] No, there's a demon and he tells me what to do.
[00:53:49] The cop's like, so what is I mean, what is he told you to do other than the shooting that's
[00:53:55] bad?
[00:53:56] He's like, nothing.
[00:53:58] Jack off to gay porn.
[00:54:00] Yeah.
[00:54:01] Death is trying to see my penis.
[00:54:02] He's a bad boy.
[00:54:03] Nicholas Cruz.
[00:54:04] Yeah.
[00:54:05] Is he in jail?
[00:54:06] No, they let him out.
[00:54:07] They let him skate.
[00:54:08] Guess what he's doing now?
[00:54:10] What?
[00:54:11] Principal of the school.
[00:54:12] He got off on a technicality.
[00:54:14] Yeah.
[00:54:15] They're one of the Cosby mysteries.
[00:54:18] Damn bills out and about.
[00:54:23] They should reboot Cosby mysteries and he and Felicia Rashad have to try to get your
[00:54:27] women to the fall.
[00:54:28] So you can.
[00:54:29] Yeah, they're just they just take each case each week.
[00:54:35] Yeah.
[00:54:36] The procedural and they debunk all the just fucking claims.
[00:54:39] Because Cosby and Felicia Rashad standing in front and pea coats in the next of them are
[00:54:45] like iced tea and wool boozy and detective outfits.
[00:54:47] Entering.
[00:54:48] Yeah, to read the show.
[00:54:49] Oh, I see what their family arms crossed.
[00:54:52] Yeah.
[00:54:53] It's law and order Cosby mysteries.
[00:54:55] I see was pro bill.
[00:54:57] No, he's just the crossover from I see.
[00:55:00] I just have one character from the one order.
[00:55:04] Richard Belzer is also.
[00:55:06] Richard Belzer is a big truly believes in Cosby.
[00:55:09] I've been looking into this Eugene Carroll woman and I got to say, I think she's a lunatic.
[00:55:15] I think this woman might be not so for bust though.
[00:55:19] Right.
[00:55:20] That's what they used to call him back in the back in the summer free of love.
[00:55:23] Right.
[00:55:24] May Richard Belzer my back on my first year in comedy.
[00:55:28] 1947.
[00:55:29] Yeah.
[00:55:30] I did seven open mics and now I've been on every cop show for the last 400 years.
[00:55:35] That's true.
[00:55:36] I haven't taken the sunglasses off because I got a corneal tattoo of a swastika while
[00:55:42] I was drunk.
[00:55:43] Whoa, I don't know if that's true.
[00:55:44] It's true.
[00:55:45] Nobody can see my eyes.
[00:55:47] I'm never seen his eyes.
[00:55:49] He's the same eyes as that.
[00:55:51] You would be gorgeous eyes.
[00:55:53] Yuck.
[00:55:54] Green eyes.
[00:55:55] No, look, my eyes.
[00:55:56] My little dinosaur.
[00:55:57] It is that's like a little one, man.
[00:56:01] That's a great dude.
[00:56:02] That's a you know, that's a trope.
[00:56:04] That's a trope because dinosaurs are lizard like whoa, you brought the lizard.
[00:56:08] You're doing a trope.
[00:56:09] You're the one that said you look like a Jew lizard monster, man.
[00:56:13] No, I never said you kind of implied it.
[00:56:16] You implied it.
[00:56:17] No, you brought it up by a gorgeous.
[00:56:19] I was dying.
[00:56:20] All I said is that you're gay and I get more pussy than you.
[00:56:23] That's not possible.
[00:56:24] It's literally not possible.
[00:56:25] How is it not possible?
[00:56:26] Because I'm in a stable relationship.
[00:56:28] He does have some fucked up.
[00:56:31] Yeah, you're in a stable relationship and that you visit the stable relationship.
[00:56:34] You're able to get fucked up in your ass.
[00:56:36] You're boyfriend the horse.
[00:56:37] That makes you feel better.
[00:56:39] You're boyfriend dream horse.
[00:56:41] No, you get fucked up.
[00:56:42] You dream.
[00:56:43] I watch dream horse and I say this is touching.
[00:56:46] No, you watch dream horse.
[00:56:47] It's an action.
[00:56:48] I'm sorry.
[00:56:49] The dream horse is a movie about you dreaming about getting fucked up.
[00:56:53] Let's do a dream horse review.
[00:56:55] So what's the basic plot?
[00:56:56] You want to break that down for us?
[00:56:59] Yeah, a couple of British people, a pool of resources.
[00:57:03] Are we talking about this movie?
[00:57:04] Yeah.
[00:57:05] Are they all biowals?
[00:57:06] I'm talking about Secretariat.
[00:57:08] Oh, okay.
[00:57:09] I've never seen it.
[00:57:11] I've never seen it.
[00:57:13] I saw a war horse.
[00:57:15] You're thinking of seabiscuit and that's Secretariat.
[00:57:18] Secretariat was an actual horse.
[00:57:20] Seabiscuits.
[00:57:21] They made a movie I think Secretariat to.
[00:57:22] When?
[00:57:23] I don't know.
[00:57:24] I think they did though.
[00:57:25] I am thinking of seabiscuit though.
[00:57:27] You're right.
[00:57:28] Seabiscuit with Tobin and why?
[00:57:29] Yeah.
[00:57:30] Yeah.
[00:57:31] It's a pretty cool movie.
[00:57:32] It sounds like a little cunt biscuit.
[00:57:35] Yeah.
[00:57:36] Like a little biscuit made out of cumb.
[00:57:37] Remember that era before the communist ladies in New York, a bunch of women were making
[00:57:44] food out of it.
[00:57:46] From their pussies.
[00:57:47] Yeah, pussy food.
[00:57:48] Bread.
[00:57:49] Yeah.
[00:57:50] Cheese and yogurt.
[00:57:51] That wasn't that widespread.
[00:57:52] No, pretty much every bitchy.
[00:57:54] It's like three bitches.
[00:57:55] Pretty much every single woman.
[00:57:56] Yeah.
[00:57:57] I'm at a company called Widespread and it's cream cheese made by Stob.
[00:58:02] Yeah.
[00:58:03] Okay.
[00:58:04] That's a good name.
[00:58:05] Why?
[00:58:06] Man.
[00:58:07] That in the front.
[00:58:08] I don't think anyone would think that.
[00:58:10] Spreading cream cheese.
[00:58:12] I would.
[00:58:13] You know what?
[00:58:14] It would be a pussy themed cream cheese.
[00:58:15] Yeah.
[00:58:16] Spread eagle.
[00:58:17] Spread eagle.
[00:58:18] Yeah.
[00:58:19] It would be a chick with.
[00:58:20] Oh dude.
[00:58:21] That's the mascot.
[00:58:22] The spread eagle.
[00:58:23] The spread eagle.
[00:58:24] It's an eagle carrying a little thing of cream cheese.
[00:58:25] And he's like follow your nose.
[00:58:27] You know that there was a school.
[00:58:29] To pussy.
[00:58:30] To pussy.
[00:58:31] Yeah.
[00:58:32] It's a great business.
[00:58:33] Thank you.
[00:58:34] Just to get with the whole front of his face in a woman's pussy.
[00:58:36] Yeah.
[00:58:37] He's like in here.
[00:58:38] That's what I found up.
[00:58:41] I found all these kids come out.
[00:58:43] Come look.
[00:58:44] It's from the man here at the back of the pucker.
[00:58:47] Oh.
[00:58:48] What?
[00:58:49] That was a good one.
[00:58:50] Two kids that are eating three loops out of a woman's cervix.
[00:58:54] Mmm.
[00:58:55] She was hiding the cereal in here.
[00:58:57] She's caught cereal over the back of the pucker.
[00:59:02] Come follow me.
[00:59:03] Follow me.
[00:59:04] This is like wings flapping.
[00:59:05] Yeah.
[00:59:06] Yeah.
[00:59:07] Some woman at a restaurant screaming.
[00:59:08] This is a British bird but his whole face in her pussy.
[00:59:09] Assaulting her.
[00:59:10] Sticking his beak.
[00:59:11] That's got to be perfect.
[00:59:12] That's got to feel bad.
[00:59:20] To get a beak in your pussy.
[00:59:22] I'm covering sex.
[00:59:24] Technically.
[00:59:25] I'm getting perfect.
[00:59:30] But two kids say I'm going to be doing it for the cereal.
[00:59:32] We all know he's gay.
[00:59:33] Why?
[00:59:34] How are you going to say that?
[00:59:35] He seems gay.
[00:59:36] Why?
[00:59:37] Because Froot Loops.
[00:59:38] How about you?
[00:59:39] That's like a gay sound.
[00:59:40] Who can cram my penis indeed?
[00:59:41] I think that's a pretty fucking prejudice.
[00:59:43] No.
[00:59:44] Two kids say Froot Loops.
[00:59:45] Sure, that's part of it.
[00:59:46] I'm not going to deny the subtext there.
[00:59:50] You don't have to be gay to have Froot Loops soon.
[00:59:52] But his whole manner is of that of a homosexual.
[00:59:55] You're thinking about Zazu from the Lion King.
[00:59:57] Not two kids.
[00:59:58] They're very similar.
[00:59:59] They're gay birds.
[01:00:00] They're very similar.
[01:00:01] Yeah.
[01:00:02] I'm glad they gave it.
[01:00:04] Zazu's definitely gay as well.
[01:00:06] Two kids say I'm also gay.
[01:00:08] Mostly because he's British.
[01:00:10] Zazu.
[01:00:11] They're both British.
[01:00:13] Is two kids say I'm British?
[01:00:15] Yeah.
[01:00:16] I would like it if you would massage do my penis.
[01:00:19] Why would you like that?
[01:00:20] Because it would feel good.
[01:00:22] I'd be like this is weird.
[01:00:23] It wouldn't feel good.
[01:00:24] It would be weird, man.
[01:00:27] We couldn't be normal friends again.
[01:00:30] That's true.
[01:00:31] You know, it would just mess up our thing.
[01:00:34] Zazu, I guess.
[01:00:35] Zazu.
[01:00:36] But at the same time, you should suck my dick.
[01:00:40] Why should I do that?
[01:00:41] It'll change everything.
[01:00:43] Because not for me, I don't value you right now.
[01:00:47] That's really mean.
[01:00:48] You would just become a fuck toy for me.
[01:00:50] It's really hurtful stuff.
[01:00:52] You would elevate yourself as a fuck toy.
[01:00:57] How next playing with the board?
[01:00:58] I like those sliders.
[01:01:00] Yeah, that's good.
[01:01:01] They're fun.
[01:01:02] Yeah, they're fun.
[01:01:03] I'm really about to think of it.
[01:01:06] Yeah.
[01:01:07] Oh, yeah.
[01:01:08] What'd you say, your vinda?
[01:01:13] Your fat?
[01:01:14] You put on a song to help us wake up a little bit.
[01:01:18] Let's give it a song.
[01:01:19] 15 months.
[01:01:20] I don't know where the fucking wire is.
[01:01:21] Dude, we lost the wire.
[01:01:22] We lost the wire.
[01:01:23] We can't even have a love like we used to.
[01:01:26] I see it right there.
[01:01:27] On the floor.
[01:01:28] It's right.
[01:01:29] It's between your legs.
[01:01:30] No, I'm going to get it.
[01:01:32] I go to the season desist letter from Sony BMG telling me that if I play any of their
[01:01:39] music again, they're going to dispatch former IDFP poll too.
[01:01:44] What?
[01:01:45] Follow me around and gather as much dirt as they can on me.
[01:01:48] Oh, so you should do it.
[01:01:49] Gang stock me.
[01:01:50] You should do it.
[01:01:51] Just tell them to suck your dick.
[01:01:53] That was kind of like what one scene was doing, right?
[01:01:56] Was you scared of the IDF?
[01:01:58] I'm not scared of them.
[01:01:59] Nick is.
[01:02:00] That's why I won't play fucking music.
[01:02:03] Maybe I'll rewatch music later.
[01:02:06] I haven't seen Munich since it came out.
[01:02:08] Munich and Argo.
[01:02:09] I'll do a double.
[01:02:10] That's a nice double feature.
[01:02:11] Yeah.
[01:02:12] I got to watch Munich on never seen it.
[01:02:14] You don't have it since you came out.
[01:02:16] Also, I haven't seen The Good Shepherd.
[01:02:18] I haven't seen the fucking what's the one with Chris Cooper?
[01:02:24] The spy movie plays.
[01:02:26] He plays like Tinker Tailor.
[01:02:27] Tinker Tailor?
[01:02:28] No.
[01:02:29] Penis soldier fucked my ass.
[01:02:30] But Tinker Tailor, I haven't seen it in a while, which I would rewatch.
[01:02:34] The one, the Lickari movie that came out more recently that's pretty good is The Bridge
[01:02:38] One.
[01:02:39] Yeah, The Bridge of Spies.
[01:02:40] Yeah, The Bridge of Spies.
[01:02:41] Yeah, The Bridge of Spies.
[01:02:42] I thought it was great.
[01:02:43] Yeah.
[01:02:44] See you even Spielberg made it.
[01:02:45] Yeah, is Tom Hanks in that?
[01:02:46] Tom Hanks in that?
[01:02:47] I'm spying on your penis.
[01:02:50] He plays a lawyer for a Russian spy.
[01:02:53] What about Tom Hanks?
[01:02:54] I spy with my little eye.
[01:02:57] Tom Hanks is jacking you off.
[01:02:59] I'm jacking you off in the airport.
[01:03:03] I'm sending you an email and jacking you off.
[01:03:08] I'm cast away to Epstein's Island.
[01:03:11] The original draft of the screenplay.
[01:03:13] Now I don't want to have sex with kids.
[01:03:16] I'm stuck out here.
[01:03:17] I might as well.
[01:03:18] I'm dying for maids and I'm going to jack you off.
[01:03:22] Imagine getting shipwrecked on Epstein's Island in the middle of a child sex ceremony.
[01:03:27] And then you have to escape them because they're trying to kill you because they've seen you
[01:03:31] fucking
[01:03:22] Oh, so then it becomes my dangerous game.
[01:03:33] Eyes wide cast away.
[01:03:36] Surviving the game wide cast away.
[01:03:38] Yeah.
[01:03:39] Classic iced tea movie.
[01:03:41] That's a great iced tea movie.
[01:03:43] Dude, that movie fucking is awesome.
[01:03:45] Surviving the game?
[01:03:46] Surviving the game.
[01:03:47] Yeah, never seen it.
[01:03:51] That's our hometown recommendation.
[01:03:52] Oh, you're on.
[01:03:53] You're going to sit down.
[01:03:54] And I know you guys, you got a lot of free time and you get off work and your job at
[01:04:00] where you guys work.
[01:04:02] Cheesecake factory or something.
[01:04:04] Yeah.
[01:04:05] And you're going to sit down and you're going to watch Bridge of Spies, the Good Shepherd,
[01:04:11] Brigadier Beethia, the one time, the Covenant.
[01:04:15] Well, wrinkling my nuts.
[01:04:16] The Covenant.
[01:04:17] The secret is which ring?
[01:04:19] Raise it in the sun because all my nuts are basically all wrinkles, fences.
[01:04:24] The color purple.
[01:04:28] The color purple.
[01:04:31] The babe.
[01:04:32] The babe series.
[01:04:33] No, the babe movie starring John Goodman as Babe Ruth.
[01:04:39] Oh, should have cast the fucking Dominican.
[01:04:42] He's pretty good.
[01:04:44] They gave him a fake nose and he looked a lot like Babe Ruth.
[01:04:47] Dude, interesting.
[01:04:48] Did he get pussy?
[01:04:50] Why should they cast the Dominican because Babe Ruth's Dominican?
[01:04:53] Was he?
[01:04:54] There's like a rumor there.
[01:04:55] He was a black man.
[01:04:56] You see a picture when he's old.
[01:04:59] Who the fucking Hebrew Israel is?
[01:05:01] Look at a picture.
[01:05:01] I mean, I've seen pictures of Babe Ruth.
[01:05:05] That's a black out of me.
[01:05:07] And he used to go to Harlem and get a little bit of brown sugar.
[01:05:11] Is that so?
[01:05:12] Yeah.
[01:05:13] He was really into it.
[01:05:15] Babe Ruth's old.
[01:05:18] Ah, suck on your dick.
[01:05:23] How about a guy named Rape Booth?
[01:05:29] He's very good at baseball.
[01:05:30] Tell me this guy doesn't look Dominican.
[01:05:32] Check this out.
[01:05:33] I mean, the answer is no.
[01:05:36] That's a black guy.
[01:05:37] No.
[01:05:38] Come on.
[01:05:39] That's an old guy.
[01:05:40] Let me see.
[01:05:41] Tell me this guy is a Dominican?
[01:05:42] Yeah, he's black.
[01:05:45] He's an Afro Latino.
[01:05:46] Yeah.
[01:05:47] Maybe he was a socialismo.
[01:05:49] Playing for Los Chunkyz.
[01:05:51] Vocalosisto de socially is a master.
[01:05:54] All right, folks.
[01:05:55] Well, try to stay cool out there.
[01:05:57] Ty Cobb says some shit about him.
[01:06:03] He said, Rape Booth is what?
[01:06:09] That would be a mean name for him.
[01:06:12] Rape Booth.
[01:06:13] He's played in those days of murders.
[01:06:16] Was that pre-murder as well?
[01:06:18] He was right before murder as well, right?
[01:06:22] What is that?
[01:06:23] The 1928 DeAnki?
[01:06:25] What is the murder as well?
[01:06:27] I thought it was in it later on with Mickey Mantle and shit.
[01:06:31] I have no idea.
[01:06:32] I don't care.
[01:06:33] It's some gay New York thing.
[01:06:35] Baseball can suck my dick.
[01:06:37] All right.
[01:06:38] There.
[01:06:44] hey