Cum Town | Regular | 09/15/2021
[00:00:14] You're jealous of how many guys he gets to fuck. Yeah. Yeah, I wish I looked like him
[00:00:21] I was just hands of his hands. It would be nice to live in Rio. That's true. Yeah, there's a lot of dogs
[00:00:28] That's kind of nice. What's he doing down there? Just petting dogs and eating chips and salsa and yeah
[00:00:33] Well, he's going it's all fogot. It's every meal is fogot to chow. Damn. He's just eating meat off swords. That's awesome
[00:00:40] I haven't been to a nice fogo to chow in a while the last time I had Brazilian barbecue was in
[00:00:51] a couple you you have you have clones of yourself that we were Ottawa that was actually
[00:00:58] For such a gay we get Brazilian barbecue for the gayest part of the gayest story we've been on. Yep
[00:01:06] Ottawa was without a foot for staying in like Roseanne's house and some like that was really funny
[00:01:12] Nick almost fought a security guard at Walmart and
[00:01:16] Yeah, I slept the whole day. I was on I took edibles and slept an entire day. Yeah, that's how gay I was
[00:01:22] You guys like I'm gonna go home. I was like, I'm just gonna take so many edibles. I sleep through a day
[00:01:27] I was going through my camera roll and I I have a
[00:01:30] Photo shoot I did a view in the backyard of that Roseanne house. We were stinking
[00:01:34] What was it you were smoking weed wearing a Canada cowboy hat? Yeah, send me those pics. I'll send them to you
[00:01:42] I might try to get into edibles. I've never taken an animal
[00:01:45] What don't don't do it. You never have no never. It's way more than smoking weed. You have way higher
[00:01:51] It is you do yeah, oh speaking of marijuana. I just want to say we did five years ago
[00:01:56] We did an episode with Andy Haines where I mentioned this guy Nick 420 CA
[00:02:01] My friends have been watching smoke weed on the internet for ten years and he acknowledged us this week
[00:02:07] It was a major moment shut up do you cares?
[00:02:10] He wants us to come down along beach and you can go and do a dab marine link 420 dabs can suck my dick
[00:02:17] I don't give a fuck at all stop. He's a new fan of the show
[00:02:20] He can suck at my old balls of my dick. That's where you and I are different. I respect every single person
[00:02:28] That is if that's true. We are very different. Yeah, we could not be more diametrically opposed on that matter
[00:02:35] I be trickly in that sense. Yes, we I am diabetrically opposed dude. I'm if it ain't ice cream. I'm not having it
[00:02:43] I'm diabetrically opposed to food. I kind of want ice cream now
[00:02:47] Okay, we can make that because ice cream is great in the summer, but in the fall
[00:02:52] Once it's like pastage bedtime. Oh, it's slutty. It's fucking bad. You feel like a bad boy ice cream after hours
[00:02:59] Yeah, no these are turn. You're just sure licking down a big cone. I totally scoose. I
[00:03:06] Triple scoop. I love the triple scoop because that's way too much. I it's it's unruly. It's an unruly amount
[00:03:12] Yeah, fuck dude. There was such a good flavor. I scream. I hadn't Seattle. Do you want to try to remember? I'm trying
[00:03:25] Well, oh I disrespect Nick 420 dabs and now you got to say I'm a fucking pedophile
[00:03:30] Yeah, you have me on edge a little bit right now. Fuck you and fuck him. How about that? It's Nick
[00:03:40] It's a man that I've been watching smoking weed on the internet for 15
[00:03:43] You know what and we didn't get to it to the last episode because we got into something else that was really good
[00:03:48] And I'm not gonna spoil it, but it is the best episode we've ever done the next premium might be a
[00:03:52] We've ever but I have some great, you know what since you're gonna have this attitude
[00:03:56] I was gonna let it slide, but I have a grievance against you. What's the green? I asked for a sandwich this morning
[00:04:01] I was you asked do we did anybody want coffee?
[00:04:04] I was at the coffee beanie like those lights you like like orange is that good orange is nice?
[00:04:10] It's like I would put it a look I would put a shade more white in it
[00:04:13] Yeah, but I like it. No, it's like a library like a I still a pinch more gentlemen's
[00:04:20] A pinch more white a pinch gentlemen's penis a gentleman's penis never lives
[00:04:27] I like this color also the blue that's nice soothing
[00:04:32] Can you do it? Yeah, you can do whatever you want, right? You can do I have some shit like that
[00:04:36] Whatever you want this world the Reds intense red too much
[00:04:41] Unless you're doing a brothel. Yeah purple's nice purple city bird gang Ravens. What's up?
[00:04:54] Like icy blue and I like this kind of green
[00:04:57] Makes me feel like I'm in some kind of magic. Yeah, some kind of like magicians layer. Yeah
[00:05:04] Like a Merlin like if Merlin was doing exactly into my ass. Oh, yeah, that'd be cool to shrink it anyways
[00:05:11] Folks welcome to this show I have grievances against Adam. Okay, Eric air your grievance
[00:05:17] I asked for a second go ahead. You're allowed to air it if we resolve it
[00:05:23] I don't want to have a grievance out there. I'm not gonna put that's not resolved. You're not gonna put fucking
[00:05:28] Restrains on my speech motherfucker. I'm not putting restraints
[00:05:31] This is you're not telling me what I can and cannot air. I'm airing whatever though
[00:05:35] I want to find common ground with a friend and I hope to find it too. Okay. I hope to I'm going into this hopeful
[00:05:41] Okay, go say it you ask if anybody wanted coffee. How about a coffee shop called common ground wouldn't that be
[00:05:48] That should be our business that we start with the money we got that we didn't deserve. Yeah. Yeah, I like a woman
[00:05:55] Money I'm gonna start coffee shop called common ground where we elevate women colorful fat black women voice
[00:06:02] Uh-huh. This is a fat black woman elevating business called common ground owned by me. Oh, yeah
[00:06:13] hyphen feldstein mm-hmm hyphen my husband is a
[00:06:18] Lawyer, that's good. That's the high first a third hyphen, huh?
[00:06:24] Anyway, can you anyone my father's money I spend my husband's money and I am a business owner
[00:06:31] It's a coffee shop that sells eight dollar lattes and soap that I make myself by hiring someone else to
[00:06:40] I put the wick in I do the fine. I I soap on a rope and I helped
[00:06:46] That's what rich woman are they like the fucking kid from the Czechs mix commercial. Yes 100% like and I helped
[00:06:52] Yeah, they wrap a bow on whatever product they have made in a pseudo sweatshop. Yeah, they're like, yeah, it's a collaborative effort. Mm-hmm
[00:07:01] I really love to shove those ladies down the stairs
[00:07:05] Which ladies rich women rich women that have fake businesses that pretend that they or that they pretend that they earned through their own
[00:07:15] And they they always have they've a vein that starts in the middle of their foot and goes up their ankle
[00:07:20] All the way to their brain just what prominent vein
[00:07:25] What what's in apothecary? Yeah, cuz those kind of women always own
[00:07:29] Apothecary. Yes, like a place that sells fucking Edison light bulbs and like a mason jar with a twig in it and soaps
[00:07:36] Yeah, bullshit soaps. Yeah a lot of like recycled paper
[00:07:40] Mm-hmm. They don't have bags and fold. They're like do you want this gift wrapped and it's like recycled construction paper
[00:07:46] Bode with time. Yep fine twine. Yeah, it's the kind of paper you should they're nice ribeye steak should be wrapped in
[00:07:54] Yeah, not a not a gift that sounds nice
[00:07:58] You know it was sounded nice to me at around 10 48 am today. Yeah a breakfast okay
[00:08:07] Okay, and what they don't have anything sort of here's for the listeners at home New York is
[00:08:12] It's like you can fall over and run into a breakfast and hundred percent the entire city is built out of fucking breakfast sandwiches
[00:08:19] It's actually less reasonable to say I was at a coffee bean because I know the coffee beanie was at and it is flanked on both sides
[00:08:28] Vodega that you can get a shitty break down on a dally where you can get a breakfast sandwich
[00:08:34] Flowers in the front right next to your apartment and on the other side is is
[00:08:38] And give the address to yeah, just so people get an idea. Well, I'll give you a hint
[00:08:58] I text you because I was getting coffee
[00:09:02] And it's a nice it's a nice thing slaffy at nice thing to do and his brother who's named after a number
[00:09:10] Yeah, there is two princes one named Prince Lafayette and the other one named Prince Avenue
[00:09:16] And their sister 203 and their sister apartments and they all lived a two
[00:09:35] Wait, is that his actual no, it's not right
[00:09:38] No, I was gonna I was listen even even in the middle of this war I would say we should take his address
[00:09:45] I was absolutely just understand because we are in a war in a conflict being a war of the hoses
[00:09:52] It's about a gay couple. It's getting divorced
[00:09:59] Michael Douglas hanging from a chandelier by his dick and Kathleen Madigan, but she's got a man again
[00:10:07] I'm past the age where I'm gonna like I've already I've been in the territory where I can't remember words for maybe four or five years
[00:10:14] Now and now I've reached the age where it's like I don't even fucking care to get it correct
[00:10:20] I'm not gonna be like oh what I meant was right when it's out. It's out. Kathy Catherine Donigal plays other man
[00:10:27] Mm-hmm. She's got a penis one friends. She played she played a trans one from who's who said
[00:10:35] Chandler's dad became Chandler's who said Roger Lando or whatever the moo suck the world larger Roger
[00:10:42] You gave a lot of you suck David math out David math house penis
[00:10:47] And she plays the bitch the cartoon bitch
[00:10:50] Yeah, it's her but in war the hoses. It's over there a short haircut because she's playing a fucking guy
[00:10:56] Oh, she's playing a guy. She's not a woman with a penis and she's no and she's doing Jim Nash is squeezing cuz if Jessica rabbit
[00:11:03] Somebody looked like Jessica rabbit and she had a penis. I would suck it without even a moment's hesitation
[00:11:08] Mm-hmm. Just just it's clear. How about Jessica fat shit, and it's a fat bitch cartoon
[00:11:14] Look at her hair. Yeah, she's like Roger and 350 pounds. No. Oh, okay. That's my impression over. That's
[00:11:24] Fat vote your fat vocal cords have a little in common with your retarded voice
[00:11:28] Well, you know it's a it's there's a little they're both smokey smokey. Yes one from barbecue. I guess cuz the smokey voice to be a
[00:11:39] She kind of sounds like a like an aristocratic down syndrome person right in between yeah
[00:11:46] My family owned all the candy in the world
[00:11:52] Until Chairman Mao came into power until Fidel came into power. I love candy
[00:12:03] You could say that I I I'm simply Daffy for candy
[00:12:13] We're we have a nice culture here where if somebody goes out to the bodega somebody gets coffee
[00:12:18] We always offer hey, I'm headed here and in the past I believe you know
[00:12:23] So Nick I think is asked for a muffin from Burleigh and I've gotten it because that's my guy
[00:12:29] And I want to make sure our recording of the chocolate croissant. I've got you the chocolate croissant never
[00:12:33] I'm sorry. I got the muffin that time. You got the chocolate. Well, I don't know if they have muffins there
[00:12:38] I don't want to put some kind of muffin. There's a lot of people that are gonna come to New York to see Adams apartment
[00:12:43] To offer that and they're gonna stop by the famous Burleigh
[00:12:48] Wearing their come town branded diaper. Right and they're like let me have the stave blueberry muffins
[00:12:55] I can be like stop. I wouldn't be like stop
[00:13:01] I want the chocolate the Nick Mullen chocolate croissant and if they and then they say they don't have the blueberry muffin
[00:13:07] They're gonna be like they're liars right they lie
[00:13:10] I don't you know what maybe I got some kind of biscuit. That's gone. You may scone. Yeah, sorry
[00:13:16] I'm not as familiar the point is a blueberry scone, which is a hard muffin the point is I asked does anybody want coffee
[00:13:23] Nick responds with a food item. I do my best to get him that food item
[00:13:28] That's right because that's the kind of yeah sure coffee is an expression. We're out. We're getting something
[00:13:32] And I was at the coffee shop getting and by the way, what is it radio silence?
[00:13:44] Fucking you know, I'm at the fucking coffee shop. They don't have breakfast sandwiches. Yeah, what you say to me is
[00:13:51] Did nothing you say to me is absolutely nothing
[00:13:54] You know, I think you know what you made him think you're getting the sandwich, but you were like in the absence in the absence you got
[00:14:04] Thank you, it's back in the absence of a fucking response. Of course. I would assume my friend
[00:14:09] We is gonna ignore me and not fulfill my wishes. No, I would never do him like that
[00:14:13] Yeah, if on that day the Nick wanted to shock the croissant I get there and I say hey pal
[00:14:18] They're out of them. Would you like a substitute? Well, that's something that's sold at a coffee shop
[00:14:23] Okay, Sam breakfast sandwiches are off in the soul did a coffee shop. Well, they don't even fuck with me right now
[00:14:29] Don't even pretend a coffee shop doesn't half the time have a sandwich and if they don't they have some kind of this is the kind of
[00:14:37] some kind of pastry they have some kind of fucking
[00:14:40] Even a savory thing people say something you could eat people say why does Adam get so much shit on the show?
[00:14:46] He's a nice guy. You know, he seems like they just bully him. He's just a punching bag
[00:14:50] And then you go and do some shit do something like this
[00:14:54] They go and fucking act a dickhead act damn motherfucking dickhead on on some breakfast sandwich fucking
[00:15:01] Oh my phone. I was too busy. I couldn't look at my phone. Yeah, tell me hey pal
[00:15:07] They ain't got fucking sandwiches here. Would you like a scone? Yeah, would you like a kind bar? You're going?
[00:15:12] Okay, okay, you're going up. You're going up pizza restaurant, right?
[00:15:23] You say hey, let me get some garlic knots or mozzarella sticks. That's a complete
[00:15:28] Thank you. Thank you. And you know, yeah, okay. Listen, you're a good friend. You're at the pizza restaurant
[00:15:33] You text me you say hey Adam. I'm getting pizza. Do you want some right?
[00:15:38] One piece just like I was getting coffee. I said stop. Do you want? Okay, go ahead and then I say no
[00:15:43] But I really want a MacBook Pro not even fucking close you know, that's what you're saying exactly what Nick said
[00:15:51] How about this pizza restaurant about this if you find Sam at the fucking pizza restaurant and you say hey
[00:15:57] I want to fuck exactly what Nick said a garlic knot or how about this?
[00:16:00] I want CD and you're like oh this one doesn't have CD. How about a slice? Yeah, sure. Okay, fine fucking
[00:16:06] I'm the fuck are we supposed to know you're on a coffee shop Mac book. I'm thinking I'm thinking you're I said I'm getting a
[00:16:12] Coffee stop. Do you want a coffee at the corner? And I said no, I'd like a fucking breakfast sandwich he he to even in
[00:16:18] And I show it this is the he implies I'm being a little slutty. I'm asking a little something from my friend if they
[00:16:25] Had a bro sandwich. I would have gotten you a breakfast. You could have said hey at this place
[00:16:29] They don't have cause listen my the coffee shop right by me doesn't have sandwiches, right?
[00:16:34] What if you would actually think you know what they have motherfucker croissants, okay?
[00:16:38] They have ham and cheese croissants, okay?
[00:16:44] You know what about this? No, no, no, why don't we pull up the fucking coffee beans menu in fact?
[00:16:49] Okay, let's pull up the fucking call if you want to be mr.
[00:16:53] Lawyer Mac book pro at a fucking pizza restaurant you fucking piece of shit
[00:16:57] Let's go up the fucking call it up. You know you're bringing a lot of ugliness into the
[00:17:02] You are by you bring it out of me. Listen people don't listen to hear friends fight
[00:17:07] They they listen you're bringing it to fuck out of me
[00:17:10] And I'm going to coffee bean calm right the fuck now
[00:17:12] Yes, and I'm actually on the one right at your fucking apartment. No, you're not I am. I know exactly the fuck
[00:17:19] Yeah, we're friends, but we're also coworkers, and I'll tell you what yeah if I was a boy wait a sec
[00:17:25] I was at my office job and one of my coworkers said I'm getting lunch and they didn't get me lunch
[00:17:29] I call them a fucking piece of shit in front of everybody
[00:17:32] I was getting coffee and then getting in my car because I didn't want to be late for the show by the way
[00:17:38] You were late. I wasn't late. I got the way stop
[00:17:41] But we came here. We also laid but you were late too
[00:17:44] No, I wasn't the reason we were delayed is because you
[00:17:48] I wasn't gonna bring any of this up until you jump all over me for saying fuck Nick 420 dabs
[00:17:52] Whatever the fuck his name is and Nick. Isn't this interesting look at coffee bean calm look at this drop them and you
[00:18:02] They had how we're pastries oh a pastry
[00:18:05] I should have asked you if you want to fall. Oh, so now the tune changes when you're forced when you're fucking when the
[00:18:12] Your feet are at the fucking fire. Oh my god. Let's see if they have Sam if they have sandwiches is gonna be so funny
[00:18:23] Caught as a coffee bean or like half the coffee bean calm
[00:18:26] I was grabbing a coffee before getting so do you say that damn I asked you do you admit to yourself?
[00:18:32] Of course have pastries. That's what they have out behind the window pastries
[00:18:37] And maybe you could have said to me. Hey pal
[00:18:40] They ain't got no fucking sandwiches, but how I thought you were just like I don't want coffee
[00:18:45] But I'm gonna get a but what do I want I want something to sustain me I
[00:18:48] Thought you were gonna get a sandwich and you assumed that they didn't have fucking sandwiches
[00:18:53] Why would I assume that I don't know do half the places we get fucking coffee they got sandwiches or
[00:19:01] That's what the pastry is not analogous to sandwich. No, it's not absolutely it is
[00:19:07] No, it's not you don't like have a pastry for dinner. You could have a sandwich for dinner sometime
[00:19:11] Well, they might have a savory fucking pastry. They might have a croissant with fucking cheese
[00:19:15] That's not how civilized culture works and you know, you know, what's nice here Adam
[00:19:19] Yes, you snitched on yourself because the website doesn't list food
[00:19:22] But you admitted that there was pastries so I course there's pastries is a coffee shop. Oh, oh now
[00:19:27] It's a fine now. It's an of course situation. Oh my god
[00:19:35] Apologize for offering you a coffee when I was getting home. Oh my god. Yes, I'm so so I'm
[00:19:40] Unfucking but I'm pretty sure they're and I'm pretty sure they have sandwiches in the can we actually why don't we call it coffee?
[00:19:50] No, that's against the wall. It's not against. Yes, it is shut the fucking New York say
[00:19:57] It's not actually New York's one place is where you're allowed. I think that's true actually
[00:20:03] All right, let's see what they have to say
[00:20:10] Think for going coffee man, do you love this is how we help you? Hey, do you sell sandwiches?
[00:20:15] We have some sandwiches. Yeah, what kind of sandwiches do you have?
[00:20:21] So I have an XL sandwich. I have a tuna wrap. Do you really right now? I don't have a
[00:20:26] vegetable wrap usually doing that do you have like a breakfast sandwiches? Do you do that in the morning?
[00:20:31] Yeah, we have a gun has burrito. Okay, like a breakfast we have a broccoli cheddar quiche. Okay, okay
[00:20:39] That's usually like in the morning like 10 a.m. You'd usually I have it all day. Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah, all right great
[00:20:52] You heard a breakfast sandwich you said
[00:20:54] Oh, bro. Oh my wow that went worse for you than I ever ever possibly expected
[00:21:01] You want to keep why you want to get your
[00:21:04] Burrito all goddamn day those weren't behind the fucking glass. Did you they just had pastries out?
[00:21:09] You've been exposed in a manner. I didn't even think possible to be getting in this grievance
[00:21:14] How I will accept nothing less than a full apology with no stank on it from you. No, I'm just never gonna offer you a coffee again
[00:21:21] Oh my god. Yeah, so because you were wrong in this instance. You're gonna wreck the beautiful culture
[00:21:26] We fucking created here over five years. I was being nice and now you're punishing me for being nice
[00:21:34] Not I was being nice to you by saying hey, I'm grabbing a coffee
[00:21:37] I'm grabbing a coffee before I head over to next to do the show you said none of that
[00:21:43] That's what I was a I the text right before that was hey Nick
[00:21:46] I'm headed to you and then I said stop. Do you want a coffee?
[00:21:49] I headed to you next up. You want a coffee? No, but I want a sandwich he he I didn't even say breakfast sandwich. Okay
[00:21:56] I should got I should got you a tuna fish sandwich. You could have said what they have I
[00:22:01] Assume don't just get a sandwich at the deli when you start here this started as a bit
[00:22:05] But right now the way you're digging your fucking heels it I'm pissed off right now
[00:22:09] I was being I was being a good for you to keep saying
[00:22:12] I was the noise of rasha shana because I think one of them is you have to get people breakfast
[00:22:24] I'm looking at them while we're looking that up. You might want to check out blue chew calm Adam
[00:22:29] Why don't you do a little penance for the audience
[00:22:32] Honestly, man. I'm I actually what I feel bad about is that you've been exposed as a bad guy to the audience
[00:22:38] Mm-hmm. I don't feel bad about bringing this up. I feel bad that now people are gonna think of you
[00:22:44] Lower but I you do deserve it, but I don't want you to have to go through that because you're my friend
[00:22:49] But you people are gonna look at you in a different light. Yeah people loved me before they do and they did
[00:22:55] Yeah, I don't want them to stop loving you. You got it. You did you did nothing for
[00:23:04] Absolutely, that's that's an unimpishable name. That's within the confines of the show. Okay. This is real life
[00:23:10] This is the fucking behind the scenes. Okay. Now why don't you tell us about how to get our dicks hard before that?
[00:23:16] I want to tell you that if you live in Nashville, I'm gonna be there on October 1st and 2nd with micro scene
[00:23:24] Nashville, Tennessee ticket links will be up soon anyway
[00:23:28] Blue Choo Doc and I will be in Minneapolis this very week this episode is sponsored by blue chew
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[00:26:10] Why don't you keep talking about why because I'm still looking up the other russia chon rules
[00:26:19] Why are you looking that up because I'm pretty sure you're going to Jewish hell
[00:26:23] We don't believe in hell. No Jews don't believe in hell. No, that's something
[00:26:28] I'm getting close here. Even if I have to where do they go if it were where do the guys who?
[00:26:33] Betray their friends go in the faith out of curiosity. Let me ask you this if you think that's real that Jews don't they don't believe in
[00:26:42] Hell they don't have hell right. Yeah, and this is this is a this is a sort of a thought experiment
[00:26:48] As I say in some of the alt-right circles. Oh, no
[00:26:57] You believe in an equitable world right yeah
[00:26:59] So which means that you know not inequality of outcomes, but it like you know like your things are fair right
[00:27:08] Wouldn't that mean that some of the Jews should be burning and tortured? I don't think so I don't actually think you could draw that
[00:27:19] Despite oh I see I see because a lot of Christians will go to hell sure you can be the most Christian guy in the world
[00:27:25] It's like you know somebody's got to get in there. There's a limited amount of space. It's the fucking clouds
[00:27:30] Yeah, overfill them people fall through start falling through they splat all over
[00:27:34] In fact you need more people in hell to keep the earth from collapsing it on itself
[00:27:37] They do gravity in the middle of earth is hell. Yeah, and the audacity of you to say oh well
[00:27:42] We don't go to we all go to heaven. We go to Abraham's Bush. You don't go to heaven immediately
[00:27:48] Where you go there's like a spiritual cleansing process and is it at bluetooth.com. Yeah
[00:27:59] So there's no hell where you if you're bad you just have to get cleansed longer
[00:28:03] Yeah, think about like Hitler would have he'd be on a he's still cleansed. He'd be on a heavy wash
[00:28:10] Right extra on the extra rinse extra rinse
[00:28:13] Rins cycle well don't like swallowing pills no problem here because
[00:28:22] To dala Phil so dana Phil to dala Phil Nick
[00:28:26] I don't know if you heard this but of this analogy, but blue choose like a good friend for your penis
[00:28:30] It's like a good friend for your penis that we get you a breakfast that we get you a breakfast sandwich
[00:28:34] He did not say breakfast sandwich. Oh, I'm sorry you get your sandwich any kind of sandwich
[00:28:39] You're not helping yourself walk. I don't understand here. You're playing this little you're attacking my character
[00:28:45] Really the way what the way you've responded this road the way you respond to Adam is really like I
[00:28:51] Didn't I'm honestly hurt the way you responded to this why your attitude
[00:28:57] You're defensiveness you're digging your heels in you're trying to get me on a tech because I was doing a bunch of
[00:29:04] Instead of a heart you got a pile of dog shit your chest you weren't doing a nice thing, but at the same time
[00:29:09] It's the kind of nice thing we all do for each other constantly pumping a bunch of undigested corn through your veins
[00:29:15] And you got a fucking you got a little scarecrow peanut brain filled with fucking dog shit. That's right
[00:29:21] You're doing a poo joke right now. I'm telling you would you're I'm telling you about your body
[00:29:28] But you said then a film to dala Phil tablets
[00:29:40] Well listen this weekend come downtown if you want to buy a t-shirt they are still not paying me they're pretending
[00:29:46] There's something wrong with the quote unquote royalty system
[00:29:51] I'm sure the company is that Prince of shirts is just gone out of business
[00:29:55] Yep, and keeping all the money and they're floating and they're paying themselves out before the whole thing collapsed sounds golden parachute
[00:30:01] But that means if you want a shirt now is the chance to get it because I will not put the effort in to make
[00:30:08] Figure out a way to do it exactly this because I have been so burned
[00:30:12] By the experience of letting somebody I tell you when I did it myself
[00:30:17] Everybody got their fucking shirt. I messed up maybe two orders
[00:30:20] Yep, and as they were switched. Yep, and I did what I could to make it right by blocking the emails of the people
[00:30:30] And listen this weekend the 16th to the 18th I'm gonna act me Minneapolis then next week
[00:30:35] I'm in San Antonio for a little midweek delight Wednesday the 22nd Thursday the 23rd
[00:30:40] San Antonio by those tickets tickets going fast and then Cleveland Phoenix Madison all that kind of good shit
[00:30:47] I'll be dot big slash tour. I just got a hankering for is the Ben and Jerry's on the San Antonio Riverwalk
[00:30:54] Oh, I think I'm gonna go ahead and put that in the itinerary dude
[00:30:58] I might come down just to have some chips and salt
[00:31:00] Just come down for some fucking a kiss though. This is some fucking
[00:31:09] Trying to get sucked off with some big Hispanic
[00:31:12] Big big fat of Mexican family of four that weighs right around
[00:31:18] For average height four seven. Yeah, it's a it's a it's a
[00:31:23] Hispanic family mom dad son daughter and they weigh as much as a Ford expedition
[00:31:33] That's right, you're like yeah, we're going to dinner like it's 11 30 a.m. I
[00:31:38] Like well, we already had breakfast and lunch the fuck is this supposed to be called breakfast
[00:31:48] What are you called dinner dinner nine bitch?
[00:31:51] So true we have breakfast lunch dinner dinner two dinner three dinner four
[00:32:01] Dinner seven dinner Ocho and dinner nine yep
[00:32:07] Tell you what blue cheese to dinner fell into doubt we're ready so the they're chewable
[00:32:12] And there's a special deal for our listeners try blue chew free when you use promo code
[00:32:18] Gontown the CEO empty old W&M H. I'll just pay for dollar shipping
[00:32:23] There's blue true.com promo co-count down or receive your first month free grass. Yes, and we we thank you
[00:32:29] Blue chew for spoiling the podcast. That's so funny that they wrote that in there, and we thank you. We thank you
[00:32:36] Thank you blue chew. We are so grateful
[00:32:39] I'm just doing us to do a service for you writing your hearing right. Thank you so much writing your own
[00:32:45] Thank you. I actually have to like can't like not cancel but pause this I say let you pause the subscription
[00:32:50] Because the put you the whole thing is premised on you get totally overestimating how much push you're gonna
[00:32:57] Yeah, yeah, absolutely you're like damn I have 900 pills
[00:33:02] Yeah, I should probably pause my shit too now
[00:33:04] I'm gonna I'm just gonna be buried with these like a like a fair king. Yep
[00:33:13] The boy penis king the boy baby penis baby penis king do not use the
[00:33:23] Damn there's a lot of shit was a lot we and we used to say that's all that used to be basically the whole ad read
[00:33:30] Yeah, it kind of feels like they listened to one of our early ad reads and said don't do this
[00:33:34] Yeah, it's an actual medication 14 bullet points. It's an actual medical product
[00:33:39] You can't make you feel like this when I looked up that rosh Hashanah the rules for us Shana half that article were about canceling debts
[00:33:46] And different rules for how like that's go before the Jewish court. Mm-hmm. What's wrong with that? Oh?
[00:33:55] What's wrong? You want to keep people in debt? I think you just don't it's just kind of something that
[00:34:00] Makes the cancel debts. I just think a lot of people should maybe re reread that part of the rules
[00:34:06] Yeah, that's all we're saying what how are you guys indebted to me? Not you I'm in general. Okay, dude. I'm so happy
[00:34:15] It's almost fall. I know you love fall. I got my little reading look. I got my pie get my pipe out
[00:34:20] It's pipe season. Yeah, and it's fat guy season. It's fact. I see it's tracksuit season
[00:34:26] Oh, it's all the best time of the year, dude. I honestly I can't wait to get ahead in a card again
[00:34:31] I wish I was a father. I would take I would go on I would get maybe get a little secretly a little drunk
[00:34:41] Some way I don't know like find a place that has one of those like
[00:34:45] Antique trains that goes upside of a mountain like a cold cold burning train. Yeah, sir
[00:34:50] And then just have some dust cider donuts. Yeah smoke a cigar on the train people tell me I can't do that
[00:34:57] I'm like well the fucking train smoking. Yep, and then I we're going back in time
[00:35:01] And I got little airport shooters that I'm the hidden and my kids aren't really enjoying
[00:35:05] Having a horrible trip, but I'd say someday I'll be dead and you'll try to figure out what this meant
[00:35:14] That'll keep you going for a while. Yeah, I don't know if that's love, but it'll certainly be a moment. It's kind of a
[00:35:24] I'm trying to think what's a good memory I have
[00:35:29] We went to it when I was a like four years old we went to the Maryland State Fair and I met Raphael the Ninja Turtle
[00:35:35] Maybe when he showed you his penis and you thought maybe one day my dick will be that big
[00:35:41] Mm-hmm, but then he'd lay me much later in life broke your heart by not your dick by it
[00:35:47] I used to think that my dick would never reach my father's length
[00:35:51] Mm-hmm and then but the thing you have to remember is you're looked in your memory. It's seared into your
[00:35:57] Like through the eyes of a boy. I saw a lot of when I was four. I saw a lot of grown men's dicks. Yeah. Yeah, I know
[00:36:03] Yeah, yeah, that's true. That's you got me there. I've been what they call I've taken a stroll around the bizarre
[00:36:13] Yeah, you were used in a very afghanny way as a boy. Yeah, many could say and I think my dick is probably you know
[00:36:22] It's not I don't know. I would have to look at it. I haven't seen my dad's penis in years, but I think we're probably
[00:36:31] You call them up and you're like let's settle this one. So if you're things bigger. I apologize
[00:36:40] That might be the only way it's ever gonna get done that's fair dude
[00:36:51] Gives to the poor. Well, it sounds terrible. Yeah, there are eight levels of to zidaka
[00:36:56] Daka, it's a doc. I shut the fuck up one each greater than the other the greatest level higher than all the rest is to
[00:37:04] Fortify a fellow Jew and give him a gift alone
[00:37:07] Form within him a partnership or find work for him until he is strong enough so that he does not need to ask others
[00:37:15] For help teach a man to fish exactly of this it is said if your kinsman being in straights comes under your authority
[00:37:23] And you hold him as though resident alien let him live by your side
[00:37:27] That's basically what the saying is if you're a man
[00:37:31] If your friend asked you to get him a sandwich, right?
[00:37:34] Not only are you supposed to build them up you got a sandwich. You got it. You got to get that sandwich brother
[00:37:40] All right, man. I will cuz let's say for example this me what this means is you're no longer do it
[00:37:47] That's a good thing, but when you strip that away and you're who you are and you're not you and you're not a white guy
[00:37:53] That behaves like a white guy that behaves like this
[00:37:55] Good God. Yeah, what is what am I what it egregious?
[00:38:00] Terrible you imagine you try to go to like an Irish pub and hang out with the way you are you get the shit kicked out of you
[00:38:08] Still by the by the pub man. I just put on all the guys talk
[00:38:13] Imagine a bunch of Italians hanging out with you and you're like have you guys seen the new
[00:38:21] Mm-hmm. Do you guys know about criteria?
[00:38:35] They're like what the fuck and they're all raping you
[00:38:45] Hell is this I've never heard of criteria. I'm too stupid
[00:38:49] I'm too stupid to watch a movie. I'm not a fucking intellectual that can sit down and fucking up
[00:38:56] What led some movie fucking seep into his brain and not really?
[00:39:01] Care feel anything about it, but you did it. Mm-hmm. You can check that one off the list. Yeah, you were there
[00:39:13] Yep, it's gonna be metaphor for us rolled
[00:39:16] You out of coffee bean without a fucking sandwich
[00:39:20] I'm gonna go pee right now, and I want an attitude adjustment. Oh, you want to add a
[00:39:27] Yes, I do just my dick motherfucker adjusted into your mouth. You're the one who changes whole fucking shit up
[00:39:35] Really I really can't believe I didn't get my apology. I mean we had him dead the phone call. Yeah, he's gonna let that guy
[00:39:42] I crushed his whole defense. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. We have breakfast sandwiches all day. We also have non-con
[00:39:49] Oh, yeah, we do yeah, no raps. We got like oh my yeah
[00:39:53] I mean that keep in mind folks that was the coffee bean he was the exact one
[00:39:57] This is not this was not in called corporate. Yeah, we didn't call like the fucking you heard him
[00:40:01] He said this is our nest though and the two princes coffee
[00:40:06] Two princes of Lafayette coffee shop. Yeah
[00:40:08] Unreal unreal unreal cuz you know now you know
[00:40:18] I was really just fucking with him. I was like this will be three minutes of the podcast
[00:40:22] Yeah, and he digs his heels and I really thought they probably don't have sandwiches
[00:40:28] Whatever, yeah, you could have text me back, but no big deal right they have a foot more sandwiches than I've ever heard
[00:40:35] That's like what's up the amount of some just Sam subway has yeah
[00:40:39] Unbelievable stuff. Yeah, you know, you and you know what was it for real Adam be honest was the sandwich too expensive
[00:40:45] Yeah, what's the reason you was it an eight dollar sandwich?
[00:40:49] You just thought the same which was a bad deal be honest that you realize I don't need to read
[00:40:54] I look behind the glass and I just saw pastries okay, and then I was like alright
[00:40:58] I'm gonna get in the car and go he doesn't want to call for you calling rod rego about the fucking board
[00:41:03] Well telling me behind there was no board that lists what sandwiches they had you're set
[00:41:08] You're acting like this guy on the phone. There's some secret menu at coffee being the people don't know about oh, I just got a
[00:41:16] Notification from the citizen app that there is a fire at the Galileo temple. Oh shit, which I'm assuming is a synagogue and
[00:41:26] It's a kitchen fire at the Galileo temple, so
[00:41:29] You're right maybe there isn't a help maybe God seeks punishment for your actions on Earth and
[00:41:36] There's probably sure there's something here. I can't help but think that these two are related
[00:41:44] Yeah kitchen fire at Galileo temple why would Jews name I think it's a kind of Italian thing
[00:41:50] I think it's the whole was used by the local Sicilian community
[00:41:54] That's the type of Jewish and was popular in its day with local anarchist groups. Oh fuck okay
[00:41:59] Well a different kind of Jewish mm-hmm. I've never heard of this in my life
[00:42:08] So yeah, so finish the question that Nick was asking you
[00:42:12] Okay, oh, I had a muscle you probably want to talk about your underwear
[00:42:16] No, I don't want to talk about my second piece of paper
[00:42:22] Get the second fair get the second piece of paper asking you get it out now
[00:42:28] Stop okay, that's honestly this is that's the most egregious part of your defense why you're acting like you're some fucking saint
[00:42:36] We all ask each other if we want coffees for going to get fucking coffee. It's a nice thing that you do
[00:42:41] It's a nice thing that I do. It's a baseline. You don't get fucking credit for being nice
[00:42:45] Yeah, if you're bad if you're not nice your piece of shit everyone should just be nice
[00:42:50] Okay, yeah, I buy lunch whenever we go out by lunch wherever there's an opportunity
[00:42:54] We get lunch all the time I lunch to we buy lunches
[00:42:58] Okay, and we always ask for call you're a busy guy by a bunch
[00:43:02] Thinking about what's a word porn on just embrace the red you're a busy guy
[00:43:07] So stop thinking about what the wear and just embrace the radically efficient Mac well then daily where system the daily where system is a selection of clothes
[00:43:15] Rooted in smart design daily where system was that like Trevor Noah's fucking yeah, his clothes. Yeah, mm-hmm
[00:43:22] The daily show daily show where system is like boy bro. Look you all boy going to make welding and I got a d-rack for my
[00:43:29] You know my business man's do right business do you ring and I was born in
[00:43:38] But from the looks of me you think I was born in fucking the rest of Africa
[00:43:46] I guess yeah, he could have been bored of the rest of it. Yeah, daily where system and let's move on
[00:43:54] I'm Trevor Noah and the daily where system it's a selection of clothes rooting smart design
[00:44:01] May we a performance fabric send bit with work together
[00:44:09] Starless bat nuts and shorts on the way and beyond
[00:44:12] Macwell and makes easy for you dress work laser and play or whoever something your summer takes you be it to jail for child
[00:44:21] pornography order the coffee being doing normal polite requests from a friend
[00:44:27] Talk about your favorite Mac welding products. Let's see. I like the underwear now these I'll tell you one thing about Mac welding is
[00:44:37] They give me a there's a separate promo code not
[00:44:45] But a separate one that gets me the shit for free the fuck where's my one?
[00:44:48] Yeah, you haven't told us about that because it's extremely complicated and then every time I went to it
[00:44:54] Wow, this is the good friend Olympics today. Are you what I negotiate?
[00:45:03] Limited it's he does all the work with the ads. He gets to have a couple extra pairs underway
[00:45:09] It's it's usually like a $75 credit or something
[00:45:12] Right, it's mostly so I buy the shit and I talk about liking it
[00:45:16] but for a while the underwear that I liked was sold out and then I kind of slept on it and then what happens is
[00:45:28] Shit the ones I have I know and I only get no under if I shouldn't I know I'm trying to pair
[00:45:33] Because I was I was switching all of my shit over to Mac welding
[00:45:36] But then you kind of need I feel like I need underwear that just gets filled with like to get shit in it
[00:45:40] To get shit and you kind of piss yourself a little bit sure then cuz put on it to wipe calm putting a fresh pair of Mac
[00:45:47] Well, it's on they feel nice. It makes me feel like fucking James Bond. Absolutely, which is gonna be a black lady
[00:45:52] Yeah, can you believe that Mac? Well, she wears black Mac?
[00:46:00] Fred from breathable t-shirts and polos this time we said that already, but I like the daily whatever their three pack is
[00:46:09] With like the flat colors. Yes, those are nice. That's my shit. Yeah, breathable
[00:46:14] Honestly best on the way they got they got sweat shorts that'll fucking tickle your nuts to the a sweat shorts
[00:46:21] Modern tailoring and prayer perfect. We go for the ultimate lazy
[00:46:28] Pima tea now see I hate that shit fuck a lazy Sunday. You got to work hard constantly
[00:46:32] Uh-huh get the ace sweatpants, but then you go to work drive as fast as you can in your car on the highway
[00:46:40] Yeah, that's one of the things I like to do is a million a jet set millionaire fucking businessman
[00:46:45] Yep is speeding speeding on drugs on drugs of my ace sweatshorts
[00:46:52] Actually, I do need a new pair of shorts. I'm like let's go let's hear the radius shorts
[00:46:57] That's the thing that they're offering now. Let's take a look at that
[00:47:00] And you know what for weekend travels both near and far the silver net pole a maze and radius
[00:47:07] Hi tech. What is it called wolf a Wall Street?
[00:47:14] Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna look up Mac welding calm too because I actually need you I need to I need to re-up on all the underwear
[00:47:22] Yeah, they really do have a lot of great stuff
[00:47:25] Oh, so the pace set or shop the story. This is the new thing they got here now some guy running around a bunch of
[00:47:32] Butch fucking flowers smart workout gear engineered for what really moves you
[00:47:38] Which still a reason to work out is the
[00:47:43] I'm a fucking traditional guy. I like the 18-hour Jersey box. Yeah, dude. That shit's money
[00:47:48] It's good shit. That's sort of the Coke classic and then the rest of the shit is like vanilla Coke or whatever the new arrival
[00:47:54] They got a whole fucking lineup you can get a good. I've never tried a long way, dude
[00:47:58] It's it's hard to even call this a fucking underwear company. They're not t-shirts. I feel like they've wets
[00:48:04] Mmm, I feel like they don't even want us to say that it's a basics company
[00:48:10] I'll see what the whole new arrival now the briefs they got those two if you're European or your penises and cut or whatever
[00:48:16] Well, I'm both and I still go back some you wear a tidy whiteies. I don't hey
[00:48:21] You're like you're like where the hell are you with tidy ways with suspenders?
[00:48:26] That's cute. Where the hell I'm trying to eat cottage cheese and your claw foot tub and I have a fat wife
[00:48:33] In your have your low-re side tenements. He yells at you being no good
[00:48:41] I should have listened to my mother. I'm reading a little funny papers in here. I
[00:48:50] I'm trying to read the fucking cartoons. You know good everything you touched her instead shit
[00:49:03] Alright, let's see sure maybe if I had a little fucking support in my own house
[00:49:08] Maverick tech china shorts Wow radius short that looks new the Maverick shorts
[00:49:14] That's obviously a tribute to John McCain. That's a deceased John McCain dude. I had way too many fucking shorts
[00:49:20] And then like I was like I gotta pair these down. I donated some of them to the Goodwill and then I realized I gave away
[00:49:26] All of my shorts zero shorts. I have one pair of shorts, but they got a giant fucking hole in the pocket that sucks
[00:49:32] Yeah, so I need new sure that freaking effing sucks. They need to be they need to make shorts with a
[00:49:38] Like a reinforced pocket so you can put knives in there. Yeah
[00:49:45] Yep, so they got the radius short the Maverick tech china short the a sweatshirt two pack a sweatshorts
[00:49:51] Stratus active sure these all look pretty good. Mm-hmm, but a lot of good stuff. You know, I don't really know
[00:49:58] They got they got fucking gators. Yeah scarves swim trunks bags
[00:50:04] Wallets they got tech cashmere gloves. Oh, there's stealth boxer briefs are also listed in the swim trunk section
[00:50:18] Long underwear that's coming up. You're gonna need a pair of long jobs if you're new to the city
[00:50:23] A lot of folks they listen to this show and they move here and be like stop
[00:50:28] Need long underwear for the way to need long underwear more than a jacket more than anything look
[00:50:32] That Adam can tell you the first couple years I was here
[00:50:36] I was going around nothing but hoodie and jeans and I stayed warm and that's because I wore fucking long John's long
[00:50:46] Yep, which you can get a Mac world calm check out the doctor
[00:50:50] Silver knit duct tape silver knit duct tape anti-microbial
[00:50:54] Yeah, I missed the days where the read was all about the my entire microbial shit anti-mic
[00:50:59] I imagine a guy named Mike Robial and he's like I smell like shit
[00:51:06] And that's my name Mike road dirty jobs of Mike Mike Robial
[00:51:13] So buy some time so with Mac excuse me. Oh, no ahead
[00:51:23] Buy some time this summer with Mac Weldon daily wear system for 20% off your first visit
[00:51:28] Visit Mac Weldon calm slash come town 20 and enter promo code come town 20
[00:51:34] That's Mac Weldon calm slash come town 20 promo code come town 20 for 20% off Mac Weldon
[00:51:42] Radically efficient wardrobeing horrible. Oh my god. What was wrong with that
[00:51:48] Like you're reading off the piece of paper. That's what I was doing. That's not how you don't want to sound natural
[00:51:54] Mm-hmm watch you do it. This is about to this is coming from a guy that has done maybe two or three radios
[00:52:01] Okay, yeah, I'm what they call in the business of pro this man's been on Fox. He's just red. I was on Fox News
[00:52:07] I was in a guy co radio spot. That's right. That's right. Stop paying before at some point
[00:52:17] This is a percent off your first order visit my world I come
[00:52:22] Sash comes out 20 and tend to promo code penis died Nazi
[00:52:27] That's Mac penis died ass and fuck me in my pussy. That's pretty good
[00:52:32] And he's only the need to look at I don't even he's got it. You did better than I got it down. I
[00:52:38] Hey, this is a big fuck you'd everyone out there in radio city show me a penis. Let me suck you tits
[00:52:43] That's right. Well come slash come town 20. Mm-hmm any are you okay? Can I fuck you?
[00:53:20] camera show and like you know you just go as you're filming across the street and I
[00:53:25] went like a long stick with a big like cartoon nose on the end, like a big foam nose and
[00:53:31] I'm just like putting it to like on women's vaginas from like 15 feet away.
[00:53:42] So your smell wires coming out of it that go to my own nose.
[00:53:47] And so I'm just I've got this like big it's doing like a scrunching like a sniffing.
[00:53:59] Because my nose first the wires go to a backpack and there's like lights on the computer.
[00:54:05] And then there's a speaker on the back that's like filthy.
[00:54:18] And then people are like what are you doing?
[00:54:38] They're like yeah it's clear you're filming this.
[00:54:45] Yeah it's called the impractical pussy smell.
[00:54:48] Yeah we should do impractical pussy smellers.
[00:54:57] Listen we could probably get salvo kind of up here.
[00:55:01] I'm gonna snake the thing into a yoga class.
[00:55:04] I don't want to brag but I'll text salvo kind of and say I have an idea.
[00:55:28] Yeah it's just people pooing the entire time.
[00:55:36] We've got a reality show about people that fold paper airplanes.
[00:55:40] Like Asian people that are really good at it.
[00:55:44] Well I mean Asian people fall under the umbrella of regular florist.
[00:55:48] No but they like do origami so they would assume that they'd be really good at paper
[00:56:02] He tells the story he's got so many unnecessary twists and turns that you fall asleep, bliss
[00:56:12] Adam here comes the other one, Adam's lullaby.
[00:56:14] Oh it looks like I got a text from who?
[00:56:20] I'm sorry about what I said about that.
[00:56:33] I didn't text you shit and you owe me an apology for your conduct this morning.
[00:56:40] How do we report Adam to the government of Texas for trying to get an abortion?
[00:57:01] How are they going to fucking know who I'm talking?
[00:57:35] Do they take you to some real Texas Ranger.
[00:57:55] It turns out this bitch got an abortion.
[00:58:05] She's going to have a little accident with her break line.
[00:58:08] Maybe we should get her pregnant again.
[00:58:26] The unsuspecting stranger had better know the truth of wrong from right.
[00:58:32] Cause the eyes of a Ranger are upon you.
[00:58:37] Any wrong you do is going to see when you're in Texas left behind you.
[00:58:46] Cause that's where the Rangers going to be at.
[00:59:03] This is when they had to make the show louder because the audience entered their late 80s.
[00:59:13] Big Samoan says fuck you to Dwayne the Rock Johnson.
[00:59:24] Cause the eyes of a Ranger are upon you.
[00:59:33] He's going to suck your penis and fuck your asshole.
[01:01:12] If you want the legend to continue this week, you can go to patreon.com.
[01:01:25] Or come see us like I'm CB live, come see out of live.