Cum Town | Regular | 12/01/2016
[00:00:08] Alright, we're gonna set this off, fashion your seat belts.
[00:00:18] Now check this out just the other day, right?
[00:00:20] I went to the top floor of the World Trade Center, they got a bar up there.
[00:00:23] And I see this bitch got more butt than a box of new boys.
[00:00:35] Check this out man, I'll be having sex sometimes.
[00:00:40] And this is what you do man, you know how it is man, you get the girl down there.
[00:00:45] A hole, you bend over, pull your dick out, what you do.
[00:00:57] God bless y'all, and remember let's get the guns off the streets people.
[00:01:04] And then Martin Lawrence comes back on the same.
[00:01:06] There are 157,000 murders in Chicago, yes you're back.
[00:01:10] I got caught in a deaf comedy jam, why don't we call it a black hole?
[00:01:20] I don't do not want to sound like a Lacist.
[00:01:25] It's a Chinese guy saying he doesn't want to sound racist.
[00:01:34] Yeah, it's a Jewish man doing a racist impression of a Chinese.
[00:01:41] Because that's the thing about all these damn Jews are so racist.
[00:01:47] I went to DC last week and met a lot of nice fellers.
[00:01:52] And they were saying a lot of the same things about Jews I've been saying since I went to
[00:02:01] Just setting up shop and watching them.
[00:02:03] So somebody, I had kind of a legal issue going on this week so I didn't have time to respond to them.
[00:02:09] I'm getting a lot of like notifications for Facebook messages.
[00:02:12] If you're messaging me and I'm not responding, I am banned from Facebook.
[00:02:18] I have no, I can see the messages but I can't respond to some, I'm not ignoring you.
[00:02:22] I know a lot of people are probably people sliding your DMs trying to suck you off on Facebook.
[00:02:29] I think, you know, I mean if it's, it's, it's, I don't want to say Reddit guys but basically anyone in any online community is fickle.
[00:02:36] So you don't respond to them for two days and they're like, actually you know what?
[00:02:42] I just can't, I can't respond to anything.
[00:02:58] You're the, you're the, you're the, you're the sexy, no, she's a big, big, big, no.
[00:03:04] It's like the, you're the bitch with the big nose on house.
[00:03:11] Adam is a, I don't know what the gay character is.
[00:03:21] You're Scott Bea who's written off the show.
[00:03:23] But Adam is the guy that replaced Scott Bea.
[00:03:28] No, but Scott Bea was so much better than the guy that replaced him.
[00:03:30] And then he went on to do some bullshit show where he's like a, he's like a doctor that's also
[00:03:37] That's why he left I agree to his murders to do some other shitty daytime.
[00:03:43] I forget, I forget, you know, I made, I used to run, I think it's still on Twitter.
[00:03:47] If you go to Twitter.com slash packs television, I had like a Twitter parody account back
[00:03:53] when I was struggling to find content that hit.
[00:03:57] I had where I would just pitch packs TV shows.
[00:04:01] So I know that there was one Scott Bea joke on there and I can't remember the difference
[00:04:05] between the Scott Bea joke show I came up with where he's a doctor that's also a hobbyist
[00:04:11] beekeeper that moves to the big city and needs to use his bees to, you know, cope with
[00:04:20] The best idea I had on that one was a, it's a show called Checking Engine and Brinscomb
[00:04:26] Richmond plays a Navajo man that uses stereotypes to solve crimes in the Tulsa hotel.
[00:04:34] Brinscomb Richmond, by the way, plays Billy Sixgun on the show Renegade starting Lorenzo
[00:04:46] He was, I mean, I'm a fan of a lot of 90s action guys, you know, your lomises, your
[00:04:53] Lundgrins, you know, you were putting Lamas in the same category as Lundgrins.
[00:05:00] You forget the guy who played Adrian on the Highlander TV show.
[00:05:18] There was some guy, there was some guy who used to be a university.
[00:05:21] He goes to some school and he fucking messed, emailed, emailed me questions, but then I
[00:05:34] I mean, it was like, basically the, I guess, you know, maybe I shouldn't just blow
[00:05:39] I guess I could respond to them on the podcast.
[00:05:45] Well, you was like, yeah, I guess I could pull on it.
[00:05:48] He was like, you know, are you worried that people are going to think you're a bigot?
[00:05:51] And it's like, you know, I am, I guess, right?
[00:05:56] By pretty, by, you know, the looser, modern definition, I don't think anyone would be
[00:06:02] I don't think substantive, substantively, you're bigoted.
[00:06:11] I say racist shit all the time, and I get money from actual Nazis to do it.
[00:06:17] I don't know if I'm not a bigot, then Steve Bannon isn't a bigot.
[00:06:27] Well, Steve Bannon made his money off of the Jewish sitcom, Seinfeld.
[00:06:32] And we are making our money off of the Nazis.
[00:06:36] We've got some shitty article that was like, he drew inspiration from, who's the filmmaker
[00:06:50] They're like, which is, they show in like every film class.
[00:06:55] Yeah, to be like, oh, he drew inspiration from a Nazi propaganda.
[00:06:58] And so was the guy who made Birth of a Nation.
[00:07:07] We're idiots, see, we've been with the whole five years.
[00:07:09] First of all, if it's not a, I think anything, you know, I used to say, I used to say, I
[00:07:16] used to say any movie that's a silent film, it's bullshit, not worth watching.
[00:07:29] In the pre-code Hollywood, you could have titties.
[00:07:31] Yeah, they were much sluttier back then.
[00:07:34] And women played bigger roles and then after they introduced all the, you know, the code.
[00:07:41] You actually like painted a window outside.
[00:07:48] And then I updated, now it's no movies without color.
[00:07:54] Now it's, if it doesn't have CGI in it, it's bad.
[00:07:59] The technology's gotten good enough now.
[00:08:02] I'm talking about Scorpion King, you know, Mummy 3.
[00:08:05] I'm saying, you know, I wanted, Avatar is the only good movie.
[00:08:09] Avatar is the only, not even a good movie, because you know, it's not a good movie, but
[00:08:13] it's only a movie worth watching anymore.
[00:08:17] I will go to the theater unless it's for something like that.
[00:08:19] You guys, you know this, I'm shopping around for a 4K television.
[00:08:21] Basically what that is, it's 4 1080p televisions combined into one TV.
[00:08:27] So that level of resolution means that's four different ways that I'm better than you.
[00:08:35] I'm experiencing it to a degree that you'll never experience it.
[00:08:38] There are no Steven Seagull movies in 4K.
[00:08:42] We all just got to check for $1,000 each.
[00:08:49] I'm fucking making soups in that bitch, because that's how hot they get.
[00:08:52] Stop actually copied my idea to get the blender.
[00:08:54] Guess who's going to buy a first bitch?
[00:09:13] You were sitting on that while we were talking about 4K.
[00:09:15] Then we started talking about what we're going to buy.
[00:09:21] And you thought this 3K joke is so good.
[00:09:24] I thought it was save it for after a whole other topic has been introduced.
[00:09:35] Maybe if you were feeling the flow of the conversation instead of being pleased with
[00:09:40] I just thought that if I brought back the 3K joke that it would be a funny enough joke
[00:09:46] So what else are you going to buy with this one?
[00:09:47] You know, when I was a kid, I thought I get anxiety when people bring up the clan, because
[00:09:53] as a kid, I thought it was Clue Clocks Clan.
[00:10:00] And so I said that to somebody one time and they laughed at me in like 4th grade for saying
[00:10:05] And then that's why I guess whenever the clan comes up, I get nervous.
[00:10:13] And it's because I fucked it up one time.
[00:10:18] The thing that makes you nervous about the KKK is the pronunciation is not that their
[00:10:22] existence and you're just like, yeah, no.
[00:10:25] That's my privileges and I get nervous about it.
[00:10:31] Not them like if I can doing hate crimes to your family.
[00:10:35] Well, no, it does affect you apparently.
[00:10:43] Nick quits Twitter because of all the anti-semitism.
[00:10:48] He's also wearing a yellow star in solidarity with me for the month.
[00:10:58] In true punk rock tradition, I got a giant swastika tattooed on my chest.
[00:11:04] And a little arrow underneath it that says bad.
[00:11:15] People know that I'm against the swastika.
[00:11:22] I was putting pins on my leather jacket.
[00:11:27] Did you guys see that pin that was like $10,000?
[00:11:34] I just mean I like putting like GGL in pins, you know?
[00:11:41] Real music is when you just get up there and you take a dump on the stage and you make
[00:11:45] And then you show everyone your dick and you smear the shit all over your face.
[00:11:54] And that's like, you know, that's the kind of shit you miss out on with your fucking
[00:12:05] You know, you're like seeing the man poop on stage.
[00:12:14] And there's always some poster wearing the shit from that show to the show.
[00:12:21] And you gotta wear it last year's this shitty left.
[00:12:26] He just walked in, walked in, went to the merch table, bought a T-shirt.
[00:12:40] You saw that documentary, you owned out what that was like.
[00:12:46] Some guy screaming is going to smell horrible.
[00:12:49] The guy that might rape my mouth while I'm always fucking...
[00:12:52] It's also like you can get that for free in New York City everywhere.
[00:12:59] Dude, is it like the only people I knew that liked G.G. Allen were just like fucking
[00:13:09] Were there any grown men at those shows?
[00:13:17] That are mad that their dads haven't come back.
[00:13:22] I feel like there was a whole period where people were getting into Bikowski and I'm like,
[00:13:43] I think it's cool if he's into that, but I think I don't, I agree with Nick's dick.
[00:13:52] Dude, I'm a fucking independent contractor.
[00:13:54] Yeah, you guys are independent contractors.
[00:13:59] That means if one of you individually gets sued for something that happens on the show,
[00:14:04] Well, if I get, if I get, if one of the odds, it's someone gets sued for something on the
[00:14:10] I've never said anything bad about anybody.
[00:14:12] If I get injured on the show, which I'm planning on.
[00:14:15] Was Jake gonna sue me for saying you like Bikowski?
[00:14:19] If I get injured on the show, I'm gonna file for...
[00:14:21] Jake doesn't even need to do workman's comp.
[00:14:24] Nick, what do you have to do if I get hurt?
[00:14:39] Part of independent contract, if you're employees, yes, actually, because of a responded superior.
[00:14:47] Which means that anything that happens, even something like that, in the course of normal
[00:14:51] day to day business, I would be responsible for it.
[00:14:57] I could also sue him because you colluded to make it happen.
[00:15:10] Everything I say, they go lobby and make it into law.
[00:15:22] So, we're gonna become Wall Street guys.
[00:15:25] We have been wearing suspenders ever since we got these $1,000 checks to that.
[00:15:32] The suspenders attached to my oversized basketball.
[00:15:36] I have a French cuff shirt, you know, stripy.
[00:15:39] You do have tie-dye socks though, bitch.
[00:15:44] That's some straight Jewish summer camp socks right there, my dear.
[00:16:00] In honor of Thanksgiving, we have a couple of people.
[00:16:07] We've been prepping this bit, so I think it's ready to go.
[00:16:28] He does that every episode where he farts at the fucking mic.
[00:16:31] The fart gets trapped in the wind guard.
[00:16:38] I'm the guy that fucking listens to your hands.
[00:16:39] Every once in a while, one of them goes through.
[00:16:48] I have not been eating that bad, by the way.
[00:16:50] Yeah, you do very small, lame, like French girl type farts.
[00:16:57] You should do some thunderous kind of win.
[00:17:08] Honestly, you know, people are like, oh, this is going to be good for comedy.
[00:17:10] It's like, yeah, it's going to be good for comedy if comedy goes back to being racist
[00:17:16] You know, I mean, seriously, people are like, oh, wow, adventure time.
[00:17:20] It's actually got a lot of jokes for adults.
[00:17:23] You know what had a lot of jokes for adults?
[00:17:25] Fucking Daffy Duck when he was using the N word.
[00:17:30] When we talk about children's entertainment, it's meant for a grown man.
[00:17:33] How about, how about Porky, the pig, calling somebody a Jam and shit, and Ben Boo under
[00:17:42] Those are good adult oriented children's cartoons.
[00:17:53] You expect a child to understand the jokes printed on the back of that murder incorporated
[00:17:58] Well, it's very nuanced and adult. Oh fuck the seven
[00:18:04] Teeth are made out of gold and they've got like dice markings on them. Well gold. That's an expensive
[00:18:10] Yeah, children are saying that it's expensive. They don't know they don't know about any of that stuff. Yeah, it's true
[00:18:14] We'll children are fucking stupid as shit. Yeah, you're right. I still think we should make that cool salt and sketch
[00:18:23] With all this money, I had another idea for a fucking sketch the other day
[00:18:27] I can't oh, yeah, it's like a so it's like a dog fight, you know
[00:18:32] I love that it's in like a warehouse real use my dog real tough urban setting
[00:18:36] Yeah, very urban and it's all these dudes like yeah, and then I'm you know, we'll write the N word into it
[00:18:45] Like squirts is like I'm gonna say my man
[00:18:50] It's like yeah, my man. Let me get you know
[00:18:53] So they're setting up the dog fight they got the dogs in the pit and they're like
[00:19:09] Play on the boom box. Yeah, but then you know the audio is like obviously coming from the boom box
[00:19:14] It's not you know, yeah, the shot and then out of the boom box are all listening to like yeah, that's their favorite shit at the dog
[00:19:25] Yeah, yeah, that's the song they the one from the commercial. Yeah, yeah, that's my shit my man. Yeah, my man my man. Yeah, um
[00:19:36] That's the sketch idea. That's really good. You know like he's like at his keyboard
[00:19:57] But you know, what does it matter because it's a slippery slope irony look at you know look
[00:20:01] That's why to leave Twitter van culture is gonna openly defend the American Nazi party. Yeah, that's tough
[00:20:06] There's no room for guys like me anymore
[00:20:10] Relegated to the world of podcasts where there's still a little bit of nuance left. Yeah. Yeah, this is nuance
[00:20:16] Dude, that's what that's what I was I was thinking I would break my heart. I never brought up my man home
[00:20:27] Do you think there's a guy out there that's like
[00:20:30] You know a guy that's like I don't care if you're gay you're my son. I love you
[00:20:34] But don't you ever bring a black Mexican man?
[00:20:37] Yeah, I think you can be getting glad you're gay. Yeah, the Bible actually says it's okay. Yeah people read it wrong
[00:20:46] It's like that for gay Jews where they're like
[00:20:49] Where they're like you it's better as long as you as long as you break hope it doesn't you?
[00:20:54] Which book which book actually says that it's wrong to be gay Leviticus. Yes, it's the same words like you can't worse
[00:21:00] You can't fucking shell. It was my it was my bar mitzvah portion actually. Oh, yeah, your parents chose it
[00:21:06] No, that was just my friend your message Justin K
[00:21:13] I'd like read it like that. I read him read this very carefully
[00:21:26] Adams gay dead blooming on you and governor cheerio to me put another boff it on the lorry
[00:21:32] I'm gonna suck off a kangaroo. I am that's not how it's how African sound I can do a South African accent
[00:21:42] It must set us gay do our version of the South African accent. You don't hear you have a gay son named Adam
[00:21:50] He's guy cuz I ate too many trumpets while I was pregnant, but I was snorkeling some more
[00:21:56] Inside Africa the man gets pregnant cuz he's got a patch
[00:22:05] You know he does is he puts a kangaroo can get me tail up his ass and then the kangaroo not any sex offer wallaby
[00:22:16] South Africa's racist. Yeah, yeah, there is a doing freedom fighting. There's a story my dad
[00:22:22] You sit down with fucking white ass South Africa
[00:22:25] There's a story my dad used to tell me when I was a kid called apartheid
[00:22:31] There's a story my dad used to tell me when I was a kid and
[00:22:51] That's pretty good Scottish accent unlike our spot on South African accent
[00:22:56] We're talking about before we start Thanksgiving irony. No. Oh, yeah getting head
[00:23:05] So that is pretty stupid it's a beautiful day making so many shitty movies
[00:23:10] That guy district now, it's just that one guy. Yeah, yeah, he like got away at making a movie. No
[00:23:18] It's not bad. I watch it. I watch the rise. It's not bad. It's bad
[00:23:23] So nine was pretty good district nine wasn't that good and people thought it was good and he's like what if I made an even
[00:23:29] Shitty a movie. No, it's like what what if
[00:23:35] We're going to have robots, right? Okay, there's not the middle one is a little bit of the robots the robots
[00:23:42] Represent the blicks the blicks and then everyone else represents the whites and it's really about apartheid
[00:23:49] It's not it's like y'all. It's like that chap here's that
[00:23:56] Is that what Alicia is Alicia is the one where it's all about a part of Damon's Damon who like
[00:24:02] He doesn't he's like has some bullshit accent or he speaks Spanish or something doesn't speak Spanish or he's the one guy raising the barrio
[00:24:09] That's a bunch fucking Spanish people movie sucks
[00:24:12] We've been sucks. Chappy sucks. Okay. Well, sorry, dude. It's not my fault
[00:24:19] I didn't I don't know that guy Neil Blum comf. I'm mad because we were talking about something and we got sidetracked
[00:24:25] Thanksgiving ironie and Coulter Nazis. Yeah, they and culture thing. Yeah, that's fucked up dude
[00:24:31] Yeah, that is fucking weird. She's just outright defending Nazis. I'm shocked
[00:24:35] I am I would think she would be that a man. Yeah, you know, she's she was generally scared that notches are just like
[00:24:44] People say that all the time they like whenever they're confronted with somebody that you know is just has these ridiculous beliefs
[00:24:50] They go oh, they're a troll which is the case with maybe two or three people
[00:24:54] She knows how to piss people off though sure, but she believes it. Oh sure if their beliefs just piss people off
[00:25:00] Why wouldn't she anyways? There are plenty of bigoted idiots that don't know how to piss off a ton of people and she is not one of them
[00:25:08] Yeah, I don't understand the motivation behind saying oh
[00:25:11] They're just a troll or whatever. I think that's like I'm not saying that I'm not I'm not saying that as an excuse
[00:25:18] Yeah, I'm not I'm not saying that she should you know, there is this like narrative of these people these people like like
[00:25:24] Just have regular beliefs but put on this fucking you know facade like people think that about a bill
[00:25:29] O'Reilly like bill O'Reilly all these types of other figures
[00:25:33] And I guess I sort of did think that about and cold and back and bill O'Reilly makes more sense because they're like former radio guys
[00:25:40] Right right right more so bill O'Reilly was like better than a little shit now
[00:25:56] Yeah, yeah, he's like he's like Westworld now. Yeah. Yeah, it looks like he goes to get his dick sucked by fucking bar maidens in Westworld
[00:26:03] Yeah, yeah, well he goes he goes to West world to sock Thomas Jefferson's dick
[00:26:08] I fucking watched one episode of Westworld when I was high and
[00:26:12] Is the the point of that thing these people pay money to have these like fantasy experiences?
[00:26:17] Yeah, and then just like a lot of them are just rape
[00:26:31] But they're having sex with prostitutes in the wild west no that guy like but it's also like there's no way in the future world
[00:26:37] We just have prostitutes right like I understand why you would go with your family to the Wild West
[00:26:43] Yeah, you'd be like honey. Uh you and the boys
[00:26:47] I'm gonna have sex with this extremely realistic robot. It has its own personality to be wiped at night
[00:26:58] Yeah, it's like it's like they made it's like if Jurassic if you could rape dinosaurs in Jurassic Park
[00:27:03] That's essentially what this is. That's what happened. That's crazy. Why would you what that gave me?
[00:27:08] That's the fucking it's because human beings actually have a dark nature. Oh man. That's uh, that's that's how you know
[00:27:15] The show's smart. That's pretty good. Yeah, it's like black mirror. It's for smart people
[00:27:19] I actively hate Westworld, but I've for some watch three episodes of it. I didn't want to watch it
[00:27:25] I watched ten minutes in the first episode and I was like, yeah, this is bad. Yeah, and
[00:27:29] And and I've kind of been it just costs so much money that I feel like I have to watch it
[00:27:34] I don't know why it's stupid. I don't know why that's so I was watching sopranos again. I love it back in
[00:27:41] I never technically finished the sopranos. Oh, I know you're fucking it. I know no, I'm plugging away
[00:27:47] Dude, that's what I'm doing over Thanksgiving. I'm just fucking eating a steak by myself
[00:27:57] Guys so Thanksgiving facts. That's what I was oh, yeah
[00:28:01] Well, I didn't I didn't sidetrack us on that one. There's someone else. No, I said Adam
[00:28:06] What's your Thanksgiving fact and then stop said that was our homework for this week. We're rich now
[00:28:09] We have to prepare for this podcast. Absolutely. Okay. I have to start writing bits in advance like all the other good podcasts do
[00:28:17] I think Mark Marin just lets his show happen. He's like, no
[00:28:20] What am I how am I gonna act like a cunt? He writes all that this is a character. I'm doing it
[00:28:25] He's actually a really nice guy. Yeah, but that's his character
[00:28:30] He is he's an angel. So Thanksgiving is basically the holiday. It's going to the fucking post-op where where
[00:28:38] Christopher Columbus met with the Indians. That's right
[00:28:42] Italian-American Christopher Columbus, right and he said we're gonna have lunch. We're gonna have a big ol fucking meal
[00:28:47] Yeah, and and then I had macaroni they had gravy. That's how we're gonna make peace
[00:28:52] They had a lot of gravy. Yeah, there's some gray very good gravy macaroni and then what happened was he because of his flashy
[00:28:59] Style his flashy, but very accessible style Italian all the squas
[00:29:05] Wanted to fuck him and the chief got mad. What are squas? That's a type of Indian. I think that's a woman
[00:29:11] I think it's like a group of friends. I thought that was like a woman in squad
[00:29:20] And then the Indians got mad and tried to fight him well
[00:29:25] What are the types of many had to have a genocide? It's Apache dot head savage savage
[00:29:33] Red and seek seek. Yeah, I'll seek is actually that's like the SS
[00:29:39] If Muslims are Nazis if Muslims are Germans then seek so like the SS. Yeah, yeah, like the should stop whole
[00:29:50] Yeah, yeah, they're like why you know people are like oh these Sikhs are being attacked after 9-11
[00:29:55] Yeah, like they had too much pride to do 9-11. It's not you know
[00:30:00] They weren't responsible for it because because they thought they were too good for it. So the cowardly way to die
[00:30:05] Yeah, yeah, yeah, if if the Sikhs could have found a way to chop down the towers
[00:30:10] I'm sure they would have and that justifies it. Come on
[00:30:24] You know what you know what I and I probably brought it up before but like where the fuck is what happened to those
[00:30:30] Turbins that had the jewel in the feather. Oh, that was yeah
[00:30:36] Muslim American relations with the general public in fucking 20 minutes
[00:30:40] Mm-hmm if you just let me sit these people down and just say to them once and for all bring back the jewel feather turban
[00:30:52] Pay for it just I don't care start wearing them. That's what people want
[00:30:57] They do want that you make it do with the police you put a camera in the jewel one gold to yep
[00:31:04] The Muslims become the police body cams. They get the cool everyone thinks they're Aladdin's dad and law jet
[00:31:11] They're dead Jasmine's dad the good guy because right now. I'm telling you you're Jafar. Yes
[00:31:23] Kind of he was kind of fruity that's true that is
[00:31:27] But you want to fuck you want to fall bad guys were gay. Yeah, but you're far
[00:31:32] Jafar was says Jafar was a sort of an Omar Mateen character. Oh
[00:31:37] Yeah, if you think about it. Yeah, he was like a closeted no more sucks
[00:31:41] P's just like go to the gay clubs and be like I hate it here
[00:31:46] It was so happy one to have six with anybody here
[00:31:51] It's my Jafar pretty good. Not bad not bad, right?
[00:31:54] Yeah, go let me suck your supposed to be Muslim in Aladdin, right?
[00:31:58] I don't know. There's supposed to be Arabian Arabian. Yeah, well did you want to fuck Jasmine? Yeah
[00:32:05] No, he only wanted to marry Jasmine so you could do the power
[00:32:09] Yeah, but then you have like a weird creepy wanted to fuck her a fucking eater. That's not creepy. She was hot
[00:32:15] She was gay. She was the hottest girl for sure. Well, yeah, Disney girl who
[00:32:21] She was fired it and she had she had asked to
[00:32:27] I'm actually only attracted to the POC Disney princess
[00:32:30] In case anyone's listening and keeping score in terms of the things I said
[00:32:35] Shuck a big fat. That's like a hundred points in the good guy category. Yeah
[00:32:41] In real life just white way actually only wanted to fuck Sebastian the Jamaican lobster
[00:32:46] From that I wanted to have that's huge, man. That's transpecies
[00:32:56] Put his car in my ass put this tail in your ass while he pinches your balls
[00:33:04] I want to fuck Mulan when she's dressed as a man. Yeah
[00:33:10] I want to put the tea kettle I want to fuck the tea kettle warm up that
[00:33:29] Condolabra. Yeah the gayest word. Yeah, there's no Russian documentary. Yeah for sure. That's that wasn't bad
[00:33:37] That's it that definitely went in people's asses
[00:33:45] Was the only straight character in the beast what do you type of the beast was gay?
[00:33:59] My favorite thing about Beauty and the Beast is that that like you know first of all Bell is a piece of shit that character sucks
[00:34:05] She's just like the only person in town that knows how to read and she's like
[00:34:11] Fuck her dad works hard like you know, he's got a job making shit sure that she makes socks, but she's like no
[00:34:17] I'm just gonna read all this adventures did suck dick
[00:34:21] Do shit she sucked and then everyone in the town is just like you know like no one's like didn't we have a prince at one point?
[00:34:28] Yeah, there's some kind of government here that like oversaw everything the prince has just been missing for years
[00:34:35] There's a mansion in the woods that no one checks in on
[00:34:38] I think we talked about this. Yeah, we might have
[00:34:41] But who else would you fuck though sleeping Beauty Jasmine dude? She's so far. Yeah Jasmine is the hottest one so far
[00:34:49] She had to ask were there any women dwarves cities? Why weren't there any women dwarves?
[00:34:53] I'm what in sleeping Beauty and the Beast oh man the other one. No, they all they all there were seven dwarves
[00:35:01] I love you on a deficit probably you can choose for I like going to deviate art accounts where the seven dwarves are doing gang
[00:35:12] Little but thick ass major things no that shit on deviant art is is train Sonas is
[00:35:18] Autistic people to draw themselves as trains. Oh, yeah, they have like you know
[00:35:23] So it'll be like a hell you'd be like a colored pencil drawing of like a Thomas the tank engine character
[00:35:28] But then we'll have those like the shitty rectangular lens crafters glasses on the on the train just no emotion on the train's face
[00:35:49] Damn that's some good shit. I also know oh Arthur. She got divorced. Oh, that's funny. She it she left him
[00:35:55] Yeah, she would look good his what I mean better than Arthur should be able to do yeah
[00:36:00] Was it right after the only fuck people that look identical to Arthur?
[00:36:10] Luckily like that, you know here you know you can't be like oh well his wife's ugly but in a different way like that's peak ugly
[00:36:16] Is our yeah, that is true you want to hear Arthur looks like the brain bug from the end of Starship true
[00:36:24] Fuck my my cousin this is funny kind of race race this thing my cousin
[00:36:29] We don't want to hear man is dating a Chinese guy and she did it so one chat family
[00:36:38] His grandparents like these two little Chinese people she said they look exactly the same
[00:36:47] Old Asian people it's like yeah completely
[00:36:51] Completely really cute. I think that's why communism worked in that country is because they all look exactly the same
[00:36:55] Yeah, you should place one one goes out. Yeah, you know, but I mean because even the Chinese people they have to
[00:37:01] Come on. Yeah, I mean, you know, I mean there's like with white people they all came from like it
[00:37:08] At some point all extremely racist countries that insisted on inbreeding for you know thousands of years
[00:37:14] So that's what you do have some kind of so we're all cocker spaniels and yeah
[00:37:19] There's different like breeds of white people but with China. It's like I mean come on. There's like four people that live there
[00:37:31] China is an entire country built on my creator wrestler
[00:37:37] There's one guy that's like an asshole with like tied eyes sweatpants and a parrot on his head. I think they're juggalo makeup
[00:37:45] I think they all look really different. I think there's at least 12 types
[00:37:49] There's like the yowming. There's a jacket chair to sexy bitches. There's different flavors of sexy bitches
[00:37:59] Ones with they're tall but trim so that's like two people right there
[00:38:07] You know, I think that probably if you live in China, it's probably easier to differentiate between different people that you
[00:38:17] You live with I don't know guys if we have any
[00:38:19] Chinese nationalists that listen to the show just call in go ahead and call in let us know
[00:38:25] Whether or not and I know this is like definitely an extremely stale inquiry. Oh, yeah
[00:38:31] Probably dating back 30 years, but it hasn't been resolved. Yeah, we're doing a good. Sorry. We're doing a David Brenner bit right
[00:38:45] This better be good dude. This better be a fucking hilarious thing you have to say if you're gonna do a phone act out
[00:38:53] What is it that I'm going through that they hung up who hung up? Oh, they hung up the Chinese National that was calling me
[00:38:59] All right Thanksgiving facts. So the Nina the Pina and the Santa Maria. Yeah. Yes, these are you know is originally the Nina the penis
[00:39:27] From Europe for spices. I'm fucking funny is that that like all of the problems
[00:39:33] The with as far as races and the food was to blam is him. Yeah, is because somebody was like I'm sure I put some hot
[00:39:42] That's how Europeans actually talk back in the day. Yeah, yeah, I learned this from the black Israelites
[00:39:54] subjects were white and the king and queen I
[00:39:59] Wish I could participate I would fucking love to be a part of that
[00:40:04] Jezeb in their stupid costumes. I love it
[00:40:09] Screaming and people yeah King Arthur. Oh, he was black
[00:40:14] Merlin Merlin was black Merlin was black. Yeah, I can't other those people were real
[00:40:18] You know how you spell they say they weren't to take him away from you now you spell Merlin
[00:40:39] Yeah, what do you guys do for Thanksgiving? I was gonna roll with you, but I just found out that you're not going home told Friday
[00:40:45] Yeah, so what's that but Thanksgiving is tomorrow? Yeah, but so you're not going the what's the fuck is the point of going back on Friday?
[00:40:53] Well my some my family's not even gonna be there till Friday, so I just I don't even do you have a Greek Thanksgiving?
[00:40:58] No, we don't really give a fuck about think Greek people don't really care about Thanksgiving
[00:41:01] So I'm just gonna go this is why an occult is right. That's why G. She go back going. I'm going Friday and Greek people
[00:41:06] Don't care about Thanksgiving. Yeah, we need to kick him out. This isn't a women's shelter. It's a contract. Yep
[00:41:13] Yep, I went to Starbucks today and had them write Thanksgiving on my cup
[00:41:18] This is pretending to have a problem with it. You're gun in the selfie video you're taking I want you to watch this YouTube
[00:41:25] I'm going into Starbucks now, and I'm having them right
[00:41:32] Arbor day or every holiday I can on the cup if they run out of space. I am discharging my weapon
[00:41:44] That's how is that that's like the last battleground of America why they so mad at Starbucks is fucking
[00:41:52] Otis I'll tell you why because if you if you drive cross-country you go some of these shitty ass towns in the middle of nowhere
[00:41:58] The only thing they have is a star. That's like the most cosmopolitan place. They had dude. That is new
[00:42:04] That's the beacon of liberalism walk in there. It's like a fucking Woody Allen to these would be all movie these people
[00:42:10] Yeah, I love that every year. It's fucking something. Well, they were just ranked
[00:42:17] Yeah, what a fucking they won't protest they won't they won't write
[00:42:26] You got a writing on there. That's the rule
[00:42:32] Like in the fucking Constitution people that like insist on misgendering people
[00:42:38] Yeah, I am fucking saying Bruce. They're like they wrote my name
[00:42:55] So now that you're not wrong, what are you doing? How about you Adam? We're having a Thanksgiving in my apartment
[00:43:01] Oh, I don't have to go back to Las Vegas. No Vegas dude your parents are immigrants too. My parents are immigrants
[00:43:07] But they they embrace the simulated like bitch shit. I'm like my dad who hates America
[00:43:13] He doesn't like like basketball or anything. It's everything really he hates it all if we even take the language
[00:43:19] Fuck no, you couldn't even really speak to him. Well, my parents were English speaking immigrants
[00:43:23] We had a little bit easier my day got kicked out of his citizenship exam
[00:43:26] Do yeah, yeah, they these are bullshit literally yes
[00:43:31] He was like cuz he couldn't spell things right and they were marking him wrong and he was like
[00:43:36] I don't want to be a fucking citizen anyway
[00:43:38] Literally, he did just like that fucking he got kicked out. He got tossed and he never went back
[00:43:42] So wait, it's just overstaying his visa now. I think he's got some kind
[00:43:46] I mean, I don't know hopefully he's legal because I don't want to get my dad. I'll report it
[00:43:49] We will report his it would be so funny because it's from my dad gets to board it
[00:43:53] I'm a report his ass. Don't do it dude. Don't report him. I wouldn't have saw most days. Yeah, it's a scary time
[00:44:00] You know, it's like in the first caribouress movie when they call the cousins
[00:44:03] Yes, we can all hop but do they win do they beat Trump in the caribouress? Yeah, Hillary becomes president in the caribou
[00:44:11] I just found out that woman Tulsi gabbard on our smart politics
[00:44:16] Episode that was like yeah, she's gonna be the next president. She's a she's a
[00:44:20] Um, really they were talking about it. No, no, that's Nikki Haley. Yeah, well, she just got it
[00:44:24] But they were talking about Tulsa. She met with Trump. She met with Trump. Yeah, she's also a fundamentalist Hindu
[00:44:30] She like supports Prime Minister Modi and in a like Modi's motor's port of genocide. Yeah
[00:44:35] Yeah, like killing like all the Muslims and in Jesus. She was like
[00:44:39] protesting against gay marriage like real hard. Yeah, yeah, so you think you're stupid mouth when I say smart shit
[00:44:46] Yeah, yeah, great. Well, you're wrong for everyone. So like also wrong about the fucking stock market which nobody has apologized to me for you
[00:44:55] I never said that he did on the election night
[00:44:57] Everyone was like all the fucking stock market. No, I said immediately on election night that they were gonna be running hog
[00:45:03] Wild and like making a ton of money until the next fucking collapsed and we have to bail him out again and fuck
[00:45:08] No, no, you're everyone's like all the markets are collapsing as I get it'll bounce back
[00:45:12] No, and he's gonna have a fucking political operative as chairman of the Fed. He's gonna lower interest rates around election times
[00:45:18] And he's gonna keep winning and you know, but that doesn't mean that we're gonna have an overall healthy economy
[00:45:25] What do you think the next the next bubble is the next bubble? Yeah, I mean like financial institutions are gonna
[00:45:31] It's it's gonna be the same thing like financial institutions gonna get way too big and if any of them failed
[00:45:37] We're gonna have massive systemic failure and it's gonna tank the entire economy. I probably won't be a finance industry
[00:45:43] That doesn't it's putting me the what market what market is gonna
[00:45:47] Sextal industry saw I think water in now you think water's gonna do it
[00:45:52] I think water is the like most important thing in the next hundred years. Yeah. Yep. We need you to like more water
[00:45:58] Though the glaciers are melting. No, see look these people. They don't even think these things throw
[00:46:03] Look at him. He's making up excuses now. We're gonna melt the ice caps everybody's we're gonna import the melted ice caps all the way to Flint
[00:46:17] Trans P people let's trans people go to China for free to be in the coke's revenge
[00:46:22] Sounds good to me costs a lot of people toilet making jobs
[00:46:25] I mean I went to a toilet factory in Flushing, Queens where they invented the toilet. I met all these people. They love me
[00:46:38] So he's not locking her up now. No, I'm lying to her
[00:46:42] Slash lock lock her up. It's pretty funny right now. Oh is it? Yeah, yeah sounds great. Yeah, they're they're very upset. Yeah
[00:46:50] Oh, yeah, they're like he's not he's not the FBI. He's just a fucking president man
[00:46:56] He's like he can't tell them not to lock her up. Yeah, they're pissed. Yeah, I
[00:47:01] Love how much they want Hillary Clinton to be in jail. Oh, no, like why do you I mean like Trump Trump this week is like first of all
[00:47:08] I met I met Obama. He's really cool guys
[00:47:11] First of all, he's really really my main my main cushioner is just running shit. It looks like who's got a hilarious name
[00:47:20] You know what's got her name the Mike Crapo
[00:47:25] Was it the crap man hey crap stir. Where's he from? I'm with crap
[00:47:37] Who is that guy who's my crap oh crap? He's a I don't hold on. He's you
[00:47:42] He's a senator from Idaho or congressman or something fuck is he really me yeah, he's you dude
[00:47:50] Let's fucked up dude. Whatever dude. He'll be in a bathroom trying to fuck a guy
[00:47:55] That's why they want to keep trans people out of the bathroom because that's where they try to I might accidentally fuck a trans person
[00:48:01] I'm trying to fuck a real man. Yeah, I'm gonna have sex with a real man
[00:48:05] I've made that joke. I've made that yeah, well, I just made it now. Nobody's heard you made that joke. I said it on stage
[00:48:11] You know none of us witness that sounds like fucking lying again. I'm not when where what show
[00:48:32] Across the street is that they named the hall after the deli yes for it was there first god damn it
[00:48:38] You learn a new thing about this city every freaking day
[00:48:40] My Andrew I love about Andrew Carnegie actually took his name from the deli
[00:48:45] He named himself after the chance woman that lived in the bathroom and he
[00:48:50] When he chose to get rid of his dead name he chose Andrew Carnegie Wow after the dough
[00:48:55] He chose that his name from cuz he likes the sandwiches. Mm-hmm
[00:48:59] God we should go to we should get a deli's name
[00:49:01] Just get deli from this guy's wanna get deli for lunch not really no
[00:49:05] I want I want there to be something funny to happen in this episode
[00:49:08] I feel bad about it, but there's funny stuff now, you know what it's my fault because I wore
[00:49:13] Workout clothes. I got too comfortable. Yeah your T-levels are out of control
[00:49:18] Do you wear your compressions or airmo to masculine right now? It's not it's no time to be funny
[00:49:22] You just want to fucking get soaked. Yeah, I want a snowboard. I want to fucking pull Sean White's bitch ass hair
[00:49:29] How dare he have that hair on my mountain? He doesn't have it anymore. He cut it not on my mountain
[00:49:33] Not on my fucking man, dude. Not on my piece of soda drinking crew cut wearing fucking mountain
[00:49:39] Yeah, and if you if you ponytail boys come up here again
[00:49:42] I'm gonna tie your balls to the fucking chairlift and put that shit on full blast and rip them off. Holy shit
[00:49:48] Yeah, yeah, and I see you know he serves you dude. He serves. Yeah, not on my watermelon
[00:49:54] This beach this beach. Look us only and locals only hey everybody do the shock of sign at him
[00:50:00] This is look at these fucking bay over here man. This fucking boo-hoo bay
[00:50:06] Fucking bay hey, this is why why you voted for Trump, right? No Hawaii's like the most liberal state of America loves Trump
[00:50:21] That is true. They do you love the clouds be clouds over the ocean. He's very tan. They love
[00:50:26] They still have a king they love having skin cancer. Yeah, they only have skin didn't they used to have a king
[00:50:31] They have a king I feel like they're like a king of Hawaii is a guy that like eats a 15 pound burger and gets his picture on
[00:50:48] There's still a wine still Hawaii is drank so much coconut milk
[00:50:55] This species locals only bro. Yeah, the um
[00:50:59] King is the guy from the punch the punch guy will punch Hawaiian punch. Oh that guy
[00:51:07] Yeah, I didn't know it was a hat. That's crazy. I thought it was part of his head
[00:51:12] It's a hat it's weird. Oh, I saw it updated it. They made him they got a new Hawaiian punch guy now
[00:51:18] Who looks like he has cancer by the way, it is not a good why is he so fucking male?
[00:51:23] Yeah, I thought it was some weird ginger like the ginger in a city of God. Oh, yeah
[00:51:27] Yeah, you're like I understand he's actually from the favela, but you understand how confusing this is gonna be like a racist American
[00:51:35] Yeah, yeah, exactly. Why the fuck Archie?
[00:51:43] You know, yeah, he should be denying these people welfare in an office. Yeah, he shouldn't be in the slums Karen
[00:51:51] Yeah, fucking carrot top and Brazil. Do that guy looks fucked up. I met him once you met the guy. No
[00:51:58] I saw my Costco. I think you'd care to talk care top at Costco in Vegas. Yeah. Yeah, you live
[00:52:04] I would love to walk up to care top and be like man. I just got to ask you where did your name come from?
[00:52:12] Blown away because I've read hair like oh my god
[00:52:18] I never realized that mr. Top big fan did used by in so many props
[00:52:24] You know, some autistic about me my friend like quiz me once I like Sonic came up
[00:52:31] Sonic the Hedgehog and like you know tails sure. He's like, you know tails his full name. It's like yes
[00:52:44] Which is his full name his name is miles per hour
[00:52:47] That's true. I like happen to know that and
[00:52:50] He's like, yeah, it's miles per hour and I was like, oh, I just yeah
[00:52:55] It's miles per hour, but I just known it like known that it was miles per hour
[00:52:58] And he was like wait you just remembered that as a name
[00:53:02] I was like, yeah, I didn't understand why that character. I never like thought about it
[00:53:07] It was yeah, it was just like a weird deformed animal that has like a man's name for some reason
[00:53:14] Name yeah, yeah, it sounds like a law office of my
[00:53:21] He's leave a message and we'll get back to you at our earliest convenience
[00:53:24] It sounds like a like a South Central LA personal injury attorney
[00:53:29] That's the basically an identical joke to what I just said that adds nothing
[00:53:38] You're gonna take the joke and I'm gonna make it mine by saying the exact same fucking thing
[00:53:45] Another middle-class occupation about a about a TV the other day. That's a classic. Yeah, that's a classic item right there
[00:54:01] Tales was a small boy that Sonic fucked right. Yeah, Sonic fuck tail
[00:54:11] Diddy Kong what was knuckles thing did he fuck Sonic? No, I punch you's a punch guy
[00:54:16] You love punching, but do you think he fucked Sonic was there a woman in this universe?
[00:54:20] Yeah, there's a girl, and I don't know if she's a yellow Amy
[00:54:25] Amy is the girl and did dr. Robotnik fuck anyone no dr. Robotnik is a sexual German
[00:54:32] Was he German? Yeah, well, maybe he's Russian or something. Yeah, I always figured like he was the villainous Jew
[00:54:40] You know what I mean, I was thought he was like a villainous chair right didn't you?
[00:54:51] I wish wish I could grow his facial hair
[00:54:54] Just a giant orange triangles coming out from the sides of my face. Yeah, what is that?
[00:55:00] It's just a Chester B. Arthur. Yeah, they just to put no effort into draw animating this shit
[00:55:06] They make it because you know all of it stems from like when video games were like fucking eight bits
[00:55:11] So right they the proportions fit into whatever they could make look like a distinct shape
[00:55:15] Mm-hmm, you know on that screen so when it became a cartoon
[00:55:19] And they just kept going with that blueprint. They were like what the fuck is I guess that's just a guy looks like yeah
[00:55:37] You don't know who son it you is not Christian Weston Chandler. No. Oh my god
[00:55:42] How the fuck do how have I not told you guys like a computer thing no?
[00:55:50] Trolled individual in the history of the internet really so it sounds like a computer
[00:55:54] Yeah, I mean I don't even know if it would be worth it to go into it because I'm sure everyone listening to this is no
[00:55:59] So Chris Jan is but I think probably a lot of people don't like me and so you're completely ignorant to what I'm talking about
[00:56:04] So I don't even know what your frame of reference is to say if people do or don't know about it
[00:56:11] Just I think we have a lot of listers. Yeah, okay. Well, I'm sure a lot of them. Anyhow, so about 10 years
[00:56:26] I'm like mostly on 4chan. It was an autistic guy like a 24 year old autistic guy loves his parents
[00:56:32] For posting this video where he's like it's wrong to be gay. Oh
[00:56:36] Being guys incorrect and you should always be straight, you know, whatever, but he's got around his neck this weird
[00:56:44] medallion made out of model magic that looks like a yellow sonic and
[00:56:49] People dig deeper and they find all these
[00:56:53] Cartoons he makes comics that he looks like shitty. He has the artistic abilities of a fucking ten year old
[00:56:58] Yeah, so he draws these comics called sonichu, which is a character he created. That's just sonic combined with Pikachu. Oh, it's cute. Yeah
[00:57:11] So, you know people would like to sort of observing him
[00:57:17] Over the years the trolls became more more involved in his life
[00:57:20] And he had all of these ongoing like dramas and the main things at least 10 years ago where he was in search of a
[00:57:32] Self-described boyfriend-free sweetheart
[00:57:35] There's what he would like put up he would have a sign that he would write up to be like
[00:57:39] I'm looking for a girlfriend and he would go sit on the community college campus
[00:57:43] But then he had qualifies on there like she has to be white
[00:57:47] She cannot be you know like just racist
[00:57:52] Well, he is a statistic I and like the dean of students, you know kicked him off and he got into this feud with the dean or whatever
[00:57:59] Yes, and then he was constantly being banned from his local games
[00:58:03] So he had these feuds going with it, you know and he would make these videos of like of like
[00:58:08] Create a character and like soul caliber of him murdering the dean
[00:58:12] Yes, like make the dean then make a character for himself and then have videos of him stabbing the dean
[00:58:17] and then the police had to get involved and like you know
[00:58:21] And it just got better and better and better so
[00:58:25] He had this quest to find a he could describe himself as a as no
[00:58:30] Novio phobic which is some bizarre combination of Spanish and and Latin Greek. I guess yeah
[00:58:37] Which means boyfriend-free or boyfriend phobic, you know, okay, and so he became a but he just stalks women
[00:58:45] They're you know, there's a woman that worked at the mall that was nice to him
[00:58:48] And so he like unfortunately she was nice to him
[00:58:51] So he would just like wait outside the store and stare at her and she'd be like get out of here
[00:58:54] And he would like run away, you know come back and stuff
[00:58:57] Jesus so as he got more and more attention online for his shitty comics like people started trolling him and it was all these like
[00:59:03] 12 year old boys that would call him up because they sounded like girls and
[00:59:07] They would pretend to be girls to troll this grown autistic man
[00:59:12] Oh, and like with parents his parents. Yeah, obviously
[00:59:16] And you know so then obviously his nude Scott leaked and videos of him fucking blow up dolls and screaming like oh
[00:59:31] And this was like all happening 10 years ago and he's got so now he's trans he's busy
[00:59:38] He's been trans he basically killed his own father. I think your house on fire
[00:59:43] She got them kicked out of their house because he uploaded
[00:59:45] He's like a tour of our home and the Department of like health
[00:59:49] Found the video and their home is just in disarray. Yeah trash everywhere. What so they got they got taken out of their home and
[00:59:59] A couple years ago, you got arrested by a computer. It'll be good for him
[01:00:02] Yeah, he got arrested again a game stop because he they changed get this. This is my one of my favorite reason Chris Chan things
[01:00:10] Sony changed the color of Sonic's arms from tan to blue. Yes
[01:00:16] He's like that's not what Sonic's arms look like. Yes, and so he went into the game stop
[01:00:23] He's fully trans so he's dressed like a woman and he goes in the game stop and he's trying to
[01:00:28] Color in Sonic's arms with like a blue magic marker. Oh, yes, and the employees are like what are you doing?
[01:00:38] How stupid you are like so he makes a change
[01:00:42] Yes, you go to your local game stop. Yeah, and this I that's what's gonna change it. That's what's gonna
[01:00:53] You know what and but he's from an older version of the internet that was much fucking meaner and that's where like you know
[01:00:58] Brandon and all these fucking idiots are like oh, I love BB or whatever
[01:01:03] Yeah, you're exploiting him and at least older fucking generation of internet people had the courage to be mean to these people
[01:01:11] Like you care about fucking BB Brandon. You're laughing at a retarded man fucking own it
[01:01:30] This is BB a Trump supporter yeah, sure oh fuck dude well we gotta find something to close on
[01:01:35] I don't feel like recapping son at you for people who already know about Christian is really worth it
[01:01:42] What else I've had nothing man. I've been dealing with this legal bullshit all week
[01:01:46] Yeah, I won by the way. I can't go into details folks, but
[01:01:50] Uh, chocolate one up for the little guy. Yeah, just looking good Adam have you fucked recently? Oh
[01:01:57] Actually, I haven't fucked really hit a little bit. Yeah, how it's a little bit
[01:02:07] Nick take that back. No dude take that shit the fuck back
[01:02:11] No, take your dick back to the tiny dick store dude
[01:02:14] I lost the receipt so I can't even I can only get store credit
[01:02:18] Nobody for a bigger dude if you paid for it up with your debit card they could look it up
[01:02:22] I didn't it was a cash transaction you paid cash for your tiny dick. Yeah
[01:02:29] Fuck now. I tell you these tiny dicks a lot of people say that the girls don't like them, but they're wrong
[01:02:34] I tell you absolutely wrong the girls go crazy for these tiny dicks
[01:02:40] But they the only thing they want is to have their clip played with and that's the whole secret of the penis game
[01:02:46] Now I'm telling you because you don't look like a sucker to me. You look like a straight shooter and I respect you
[01:02:52] And so we are saying right now right here. Let's do it together. Let's make a cash deal
[01:02:58] This tiny little dick. I don't know mister
[01:03:03] Bigger tell you I'm looking at you now and I can see that you want it for this amount of money
[01:03:09] Interested, but I'm not sold. Yeah, you have to sell me a little harder
[01:03:12] Look if you maybe you want to put it in the ass in the future. What we're doing is future proofing here
[01:03:17] Okay, big dicks are in now, but I'm telling you in five and a half years
[01:03:27] Look what happened to the sedan market everyone was saying big cars
[01:03:30] We're gonna drive a big car. Oh, we want a big car
[01:03:33] And then the Japanese came in with their tiny dicks and everyone wanted a tiny one. Yes, that is true
[01:03:39] I'm telling you listen to me very close here. Mm-hmm. You have to sign on the line
[01:03:45] This is I gotta talk to my wife before I don't do that. Don't talk to her that fucking bitch that bitch
[01:03:51] She's a cut she just doesn't want me to make my initial decision
[01:03:55] Listen to her for anything without any one of these women driving a working man mad
[01:04:02] She's just a dick. Do you have sir? I don't worry about what kind of dick I have I
[01:04:06] Have whatever dick I need to have this is about you. This is about a deal. I'm giving you here. Shelly. I'm telling you
[01:04:16] Well, it's just she we have a joint checking account and
[01:04:22] She's gonna see the charge and I just I just want to get her permission before I
[01:04:26] I think that's really adding anything thanks for trying Adam. What about the insurance policy?
[01:04:37] She's getting more and more mundane. Yeah, the dick is there warranty. That's really the only impression I can do is him
[01:04:45] We got um you guys know that listeners that Nick in secret is a good actor
[01:04:52] He's gonna be in a new I'm actually method acting as a guy that's not actually racist
[01:04:59] For the podcast the podcast. Oh, I see cool. Yeah, that's a fun
[01:05:10] It sounds like bullshit to me. It is bullshit
[01:05:13] No, like though like Val Kilmer's like the greatest act actor of all time is who?
[01:05:25] Jennifer is true she says she goes you just remember the lines you just say the words. That's it. You just see it
[01:05:32] That's all it is. That's really all of fuck. No, no
[01:05:35] Some people that are charismatic and then they're just like that and they're you know every day lives
[01:05:42] No, you get you gotta get a haircut and then you got to get a haircut you get a haircut and then you the
[01:05:46] H you know the weird clothes and then you say the word you could see so there was an
[01:05:51] Era of friends we could see so much nip and it was tight. Yeah, what everyone's showing nip
[01:05:57] Everyone was showing us like a broth free like bro free air kind of 90s. Yeah, dude
[01:06:02] We're feminist you was crazy on that show is like so Joey and Chandler have an apartment together
[01:06:07] And then they like watch Baywatch because it was hot. It was network television. Yeah, so the implication there was that you know
[01:06:15] That was like TV code for Joey and Chandler would sit around watching porn beating off. Well, there was there was an episode where they would what they watched porn
[01:06:24] What so I think yeah, there's an episode where it likes you get porn
[01:06:30] So the so the actual implication is that they literally were watching Baywatch and beating off together. I think
[01:06:38] Watching Baywatch with your brois and beating off that had to have been like one of the eps was also collecting royalties on baywatch
[01:06:47] And they're like it has to be in the show
[01:06:50] You have to force people to watch baywatch
[01:06:54] People realized that theme song was just written for the show. Yeah, it was a lot of people think that that's a song
[01:07:00] That was just on the radio and then they used it for the show guys
[01:07:02] Really a brand idea. Yeah, what about we don't have a theme song right now. We get the Rembrandt to do it
[01:07:09] We get the Rembrandt or we just use the friend's theme song. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, you want to use the friend's theme song now?
[01:07:18] You love life's got HIV. Yeah, they're not really
[01:07:24] Good jobs. You're just in the West Village. Yeah, yeah, we never got Joe
[01:07:30] I mean, this is well Joe. He's like a successful
[01:07:32] I don't want to go into the bit about how friends is unrealistic because they have a nice apartment. Please don't do that
[01:07:39] I'm just saying that the theme song is a lot of lies. Yeah, the theme song is a lie
[01:07:44] I wish people fucked as much as people fucking sick. Also. Where's that that founds in central park, right?
[01:07:49] Thank you. Uh, yeah, that's the angels of america fountain did that and that fountain you would be arrested. Yeah
[01:07:54] You would be arrested on real list. There weren't that many people around man
[01:07:58] Yeah, you tell me there wasn't anybody around you just take your time. Here's my question move the Hulk gets mad
[01:08:04] How does he how does the shorts stay on?
[01:08:14] We're to get that so true. Where does that come from? He he probably could make made it himself
[01:08:23] How is he also just a like a journalist? He's just also a successful journalist and that never comes up
[01:08:29] They went to school. Well, he was a smart. He grew up in Kansas. He went to college
[01:08:34] But you never hear anything about his journalism career in the comics that i've never read or really
[01:08:42] By mike lance like actually there's uh, there's a whole uh, uh, uh, side story
[01:08:47] It's a 700 comic series. It's just superman's articles. Yeah
[01:08:54] About municipal legislation and fucking Gotham city or whatever
[01:09:00] When it's sitting there during the page is just a drawing of a newspaper that's like the city council met today
[01:09:10] That's just gone stop. It's him trying to get fucking student loans
[01:09:16] All right, well none of this is funny, but you know, we did an extra long episode. This is how long was the this is our 10 minutes
[01:09:23] 10 free minutes hold on hold on. Let's plug the show. We got a show on monday. Uh, uh, this monday
[01:09:32] Uh, I forgot that sam but lysor triggers on it
[01:09:38] Lysor lies a trigger she's an actual friend of mine and I know how her name is and it's not trigger is trigger
[01:09:45] Lysor these are trigger. Well, lysor's on it
[01:09:48] And she's on it and she's hilarious and Jordan temples on it. He's very funny too and then sam
[01:09:54] Yeah, I saw him. I forgot to ask him, but yeah, yeah, um
[01:09:58] Anyway, yeah come to the show. It's gonna be good
[01:10:02] That's it. All right. You finished? Yeah
[01:10:04] I'm gonna finish off now. Yeah turn it off
[01:10:14] Turn it off when i'm ready to turn it off. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I wanna turn it off
[01:10:20] Up where that we're not going to fake work out. I've been to cats is it's not I want to say the back work as a charity to say
[01:10:26] Which we already don't want to go and fucking bake pies. We already talked. Oh, yeah
[01:10:30] We're gonna cats is deli thing about fake org guys. I don't know. Sorry. I probably did. Yeah, we definitely did
[01:10:36] We got a bit about that. You do have a bit of a
[01:10:38] You know what a podcast is for it's for all the shit that you know wouldn't work at open mic
[01:10:42] Yeah, that's what we're doing with each other. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I'll tell you I got a TV
[01:10:48] Shut up. Just press the fucking button. Let's go make pies fucking do it bitch. All right
[01:10:54] Just end though. Hold on. Here's what I'm gonna do. I can turn your mic off
[01:10:58] Now I get the final no now I get the final word
[01:11:01] Yeah, I turned both of your mics off so that's been the episode guys. Thanks for listening. It's not gonna pick up