[00:00:00] let me tell you something you think you think you think what I got fuck there's

[00:00:09] what I hate it when I do this do what I forgot they record on the the phone

[00:00:17] input so so the restorative now I'm too tired but there's not gonna be we're not

[00:00:24] gonna be able to go to this the phone today that's okay man yeah I love first

[00:00:31] time callers I love all hang up and listen guys we got that though and we

[00:00:39] got that folks it's folks it's mother fucking come to its com town going on

[00:00:44] six years now really yeah bright-eyed and bushy-tailed young men get together

[00:00:50] they start what some folks refer to as the fucking rolling the stones of

[00:00:56] podcast yeah and now like the rolling stones themselves they're gay they're

[00:01:03] gay yeah they've become gay there's Charlie Charlie chocolate

[00:01:10] chocolate factory yep Charlie Hebdo Charlie Hebdo mmm of course you say why

[00:01:17] you pronounce the H and that's because they stands for here comes a couple of

[00:01:20] Muslim guys into the building that would it stands for here comes a couple of

[00:01:28] hajibs really hajibs looking to put some holes in your head with heavy

[00:01:38] machine gun that's what the the ancient Charlie Hebdo stands for

[00:01:45] wow that really was kind of the that was like the death of comedy I think mm-hmm

[00:01:51] when those Muslims couldn't take a joke well that's the world saw what the

[00:01:56] world saw what happened at Charlie Hebdo and they said you know what these guys

[00:02:00] are right now we're going comedy that's fully respectful of all people yeah just

[00:02:06] to avert a crisis like this so we don't get got yeah that's just so we don't get

[00:02:11] the Ted Lasso effect well cuz you imagine if Charlie Hebdo what didn't happen

[00:02:15] here's what happened years ago Shane Gillis gets SNL two weeks later

[00:02:21] Bo and Yang cuts his head off with a samurai so I don't think that's what

[00:02:25] would have happened personally I'm telling you because we learned our lesson

[00:02:30] I really don't see that I'm being like hi on

[00:02:35] fucking Shane's heads like hey you come my head off just rolling down there

[00:02:40] yeah rolling down the stairs yeah yeah all the way back to the cheese factory

[00:02:44] that fucking retard crawled out yeah yeah I think probably he wouldn't have

[00:02:50] been killed yeah but I don't know Shane yeah yeah but he would have been martyred

[00:02:57] and we would have all remembered it doesn't seem like a murderer to me Shane

[00:03:01] we would have all learned an important lesson that's true yeah Shane would have

[00:03:06] if he would have been killed we would have learned an important lesson I think that's true

[00:03:09] about the martyr Lawrence and fucking correct Charlie Hebdo does the cartoon

[00:03:14] he's like oh hell nah ha ha and he blows himself yeah then he does the suicide

[00:03:21] puts it I'm gonna get my vest I'm gonna blow myself up how many those French

[00:03:27] motherfuckers did they get I don't know who gives a shit they did a shooting

[00:03:31] yeah well had that seems like it was 40 years ago and they made they made they

[00:03:37] drew they basically drew Muhammad and he had a big dick nose those guys everything

[00:03:42] they did had a big dick nose yeah well that's just how French cartoons look

[00:03:46] I was the way they draw women to because the French women are disgusting so they

[00:03:50] have those like their bodies or they have horrible posture and like they're

[00:03:54] mostly Fupa and then like mix like big miss jokes on dick tits and then that

[00:04:01] kind of like frog head you know I'm talking about that like yeah French

[00:04:05] style of bitch yeah where they kind of and they walk and they're like they just

[00:04:08] sort of flop you know what I mean yeah Carilla except with a fupa with big

[00:04:15] fat fuck the real of a fupa feel oh that sounds horrible that's not the type

[00:04:22] lady I'd want to have sex with yeah I saw a lot of ugly ladies this weekend in

[00:04:28] Nashville Tennessee oh yeah yeah gasville nasty gasville that's it's the it is

[00:04:33] quite possibly the fat girl destination of America go to Dollywood no

[00:04:38] that's that's apparently very far far away and Adam are on the phone doing a

[00:04:43] little bit about Dollywood oh yeah that was pretty good and it's a guy and

[00:04:46] Italian guy trying to remember the name of Bollywood yeah really he's like

[00:04:50] what did they they got his they got doing Hollywood what are they called

[00:04:53] don't it's called Dollywood Dollywood yeah I had Hollywood it's Bollywood and he's

[00:04:58] like now doesn't make any mind why would it be called that it's done in Hollywood

[00:05:02] and Hollywood Dollywood go go right now you pull it on Dollywood right there like

[00:05:07] the first day and first result is whole Dollywood yeah but this is no Indian

[00:05:11] people yeah come on what are you doing click in on stuff it's fucking not down

[00:05:18] at Hollywood they got this in Nashville they have these like tractors that pull

[00:05:22] fat women around no they like get drunk in like the wagon and listen to like

[00:05:27] little John Catlow imagine people say the south is back yeah imagine that's

[00:05:32] what you have is women is a hog being the drug dragged through mud by a truck

[00:05:37] blasting little John and then people are like well these these we need to have

[00:05:43] respect for these women yeah it's true you'd be like well what in the darn

[00:05:48] what in tarnation what in the what in the same what in good fuck ass shit is

[00:05:55] this and you would say no you would say no yeah you say no I those are the fuck

[00:06:01] hogs that we pull around on a wagon yeah yeah on top of that to test the to

[00:06:05] test how mighty the test the the tractor can be my family didn't even own slaves

[00:06:11] hmm you know we moved here from New Jersey when I was in fifth grade right so

[00:06:16] not my problem not my damn problem Mike I was selling Mike I wanted to rent one

[00:06:22] of those tractors and just have the two of us silently looking at our phones

[00:06:25] while we have them play Patriso Neil destroys feminism yeah hell yeah yeah

[00:06:31] teach them that's what you should do for your bachelor party that's what I

[00:06:33] should do just me and Mike seeing on a wagon on a wagon in Nashville people

[00:06:38] love people yeah it's it's honestly I didn't realize it but it's it is it's

[00:06:43] like if you want to go to New Orleans but you don't want as many jazz style

[00:06:48] people around this is funny so I'm you know what it's like a no black people

[00:06:52] New Orleans I'm gonna get my calendar to see what the reads are and October 11th

[00:06:58] is listed as Columbus Day and indigenous people's day mmm Google calendar can't

[00:07:03] do once in both ways yeah it's like a pick a side chief yeah I pick a side you

[00:07:08] read a with us to your regan stars trying to play it trying to play it you

[00:07:13] know whatever the word is what so you had a nice time in Nashville Adam yes

[00:07:20] nice show me show me whole just a game we play what I want to say is let me

[00:07:29] blow you what else this is so if you watch many Saints of Newark oh yes I did but

[00:07:36] I've seemed to recall on the last premium episode you had some revelations

[00:07:40] while you were in Nashville was that oh I don't want to really get that oh my

[00:07:46] god I sell this classic Adam or what you know what it's fast you said some

[00:07:51] bullshit had a classic he says some bullshit I'm just gonna say fucking

[00:07:56] premium episode I'm just gonna say we promise everyone we're gonna litigate

[00:08:00] it in kind okay let's litigate it and listen I know that my opinions are

[00:08:04] fully formed by a popular popular opinion you know I always only formed

[00:08:10] faggots yeah the fully I really I might start a music project called they might

[00:08:16] be faggots

[00:08:19] I never had to suck on wood that is a good name on yeah they might be faggots

[00:08:25] that's a mighty mighty boss you think if I do my faggots yeah the mighty faggots

[00:08:34] those are both good names yeah I'm just gonna say a couple people walked up to

[00:08:38] me imagine faggots mm-hmm yeah that's another really good one well that my

[00:08:42] brain doesn't even go there the faggots of Leon yes are we gonna that's cool because

[00:08:50] it sounds like a guy named Leon there's a lot of twinks around me as the fuck

[00:08:54] the bathroom of the street faggots yeah that works well that that was basically

[00:08:59] yeah what was the guy's name the big fat guy Lou Pearlman in sync but it's

[00:09:06] it's a faggots they tell you what the end stands for okay okay okay yeah so you

[00:09:16] like an in sync album the first in sync album yeah and then the cover is like a

[00:09:22] black guy right any standing there kind of like you know like arms akimba with

[00:09:26] his legs out and there's like a lightning cable going into his like

[00:09:31] groin area and then that one's hooked up to a like a PC on the screen of the

[00:09:37] PC it says sinking they're like what is the album art and they're like we gave it

[00:09:43] to this guy with a podcast and said you know just do a letter whatever you come

[00:09:49] up with yeah and that's what he came that's what he went with I would love to

[00:09:54] charge my balls yeah that would be cool what is sinking what is the oh I see I

[00:10:00] see yeah yeah see I I'm I try and block out the racism and just think about how

[00:10:05] cool be to charge your cock yeah yeah think about that you couldn't even have

[00:10:12] to hump your dick would go back and forth on his own and you'd finally have

[00:10:15] an excuse when a little piston when a bit when a bitch to horny you could be

[00:10:19] like listen I'm on 1% 1% or a headless listen bitch there's the Kings of Leon's

[00:10:27] mom died mm-hmm which I didn't realize well they were all brothers I guess they

[00:10:31] all had one mom Wow they shared a mom it was a funny way to word that yeah

[00:10:36] mom for yeah yeah yeah the mother of the Kings of Leon the Kingdom of Leon

[00:10:42] weeps yeah as its Queen mother fucking died the Mumford and sons were the guy

[00:10:48] the Mumford guy was all was their father that's true yeah he's the older dad

[00:10:54] they all they all have to call him dad daddy daddy what's the next song that

[00:10:59] best I look like indeed you like fucking ass my sweet car it's crazy how

[00:11:05] popular that shit that was a real genre for a while yeah a lot of little

[00:11:09] war music stopping on yeah like fucking yeah what people that made all those

[00:11:16] breweries with Edison bulbs everywhere they needed something yeah American folk

[00:11:20] music is fake it doesn't exist really yeah it was a thing that they just

[00:11:23] created in the 60s yeah and a Jews started pretending you might know what

[00:11:29] he meant about so pretend well they just stole it they didn't come up with

[00:11:33] they created it it's like I belong to the Disney movies you know like the

[00:11:41] 101 Dalmatians and you're beating the beast of stuff that's all just fucking

[00:11:45] made up yeah I don't know half that shit's just fucking drawing real people

[00:11:51] that is so true the jungle book is real though yeah yeah that's true I wish man

[00:11:56] happened the biggest regret in my life because it's like spiritual search

[00:12:00] inside my own memory and head I've been like wandering around in like that

[00:12:05] matrix like loading area forever trying to remember the context and details of

[00:12:10] the story in which I heard in my life where a manager at like a Papa John's

[00:12:16] was fired for calling an Indian kid mowgley

[00:12:20] told me the story hmm or how it went down but that is that remains one of the

[00:12:26] funniest things I've ever heard in my life that is an awesome is a boss

[00:12:29] repeatedly calling an Indian teenager that works there mowgley you know and

[00:12:34] but you say that yeah in 2000 like six or five or whatever fine I was I 100%

[00:12:41] could see that happening of course without even with no question and then

[00:12:45] being shocked when it's like you know the kid has like a fucking a hundred

[00:12:50] million dollar lawsuit yeah yeah be like what it was a fun nickname yeah that we

[00:12:55] have fun in the office and you know where else we'll be having fun is in

[00:12:59] Cleveland Ohio this weekend folks where I will be at hilarities from the seventh

[00:13:03] to the ninth and also Phoenix Arizona of albeit the House of Comedy in Phoenix

[00:13:09] the 14th the 16th and I'll be in Madison the 21st to the 23rd I also

[00:13:15] fattison not fattison there also be a pantheon in New York City on October 13th

[00:13:20] with Norrie Davis Joe Firestone Dan Lakota Dina Hashem and I think I'm gonna do a

[00:13:29] show as part of the New York comedy festival Dan Chocolata Dan Lakota

[00:13:34] Dan Chocolata were the other ones Joe Firestone and Norrie but it's like the

[00:13:39] Lucy C we see who else is on Dina Hashem Dina Hashem Dina hash browns Dina hash browns

[00:13:51] who else Joe Firestone Joe Firestone Joe Joe hot cup of Joe cup of Joe that's not

[00:13:59] really a fat thing with chocolate with chocolate and 10 sugar what about Joe

[00:14:06] fire Joe Joe fire what's the pizza yeah I'm saying bridge oh break up in the

[00:14:12] pizza just a little bit with fire would fire pizza would fire stone Joe would

[00:14:19] fire stone Joe brick oven pizza go for fires to end up

[00:14:24] break on pizza it's flintheon flon tian flon tian will be on October 13th

[00:14:30] before I leave for Phoenix I'm a fucking little busy slut for you fuckers I have

[00:14:34] to I do that show and then I get on a 7 a.m. flight to Phoenix is all the flights

[00:14:38] to Phoenix for dog shit hardest working man show biz I'm the fucking James

[00:14:43] Brown of comedy that's right you have a lot of this I suck tits bada da da da

[00:14:49] and then I bust nuts and bada da da da da da that's me that's he's one of the

[00:14:56] I can't get hard bada da da da da da da but cannot beat off while I suck on your

[00:15:06] dans but I'm fat my dick don't work too fat and do have six ba ba ba ba ba

[00:15:10] nah so my thing's been working kind of nice recently ladies so I think I've

[00:15:14] only you're on a good streak let me think not me the last 10 sexual encounters

[00:15:20] think I've only had one problem with my cock well it's like one of those like

[00:15:25] you're betting an accident at the fact yeah yeah I have a fucking dry erase

[00:15:32] board I take with me to every hotel yeah yeah don't count your wins just get

[00:15:36] ready for the next though dry erase board is how you describe the woman

[00:15:42] during and after sex with Severus mmm-hmm there's commas in between those dry

[00:15:48] what about it race doesn't even make sense I'll give you dry and bored race she's

[00:15:55] a she's a yes I suppose I'm a great well what if she's mixed race then she'd be

[00:16:01] at least she's a mixed race you have never earned a mixed race pussy I've got

[00:16:06] mixed race before they never earned it yes I have you've taken it believe I've

[00:16:11] never I've not taken any pussy thank you very much I earned it you got to take

[00:16:16] it I'm not on my Cosby shit I don't take pussy yeah yeah I get pussy thank you

[00:16:21] very much right you're like Bill Cosby if he raped the Jell-O commercials about

[00:16:29] we did commercials about it you know what there's nothing wrong with raping Jell-O

[00:16:35] thank you very much really stealing a bunch of gel there's another one with

[00:16:41] putting your dick and pudding pudding can't is an inanimate option they're

[00:16:44] calling him reverse Bill Cosby man who's white making commercials that women and

[00:16:52] secretly stealing Jell-O

[00:16:56] are they calling him yes they were like just for women I guess yeah I

[00:17:02] get a commercial for pussy it's pretty cool David Scorpion channel for you put

[00:17:09] that pussy to sleep put that pussy to sleep I'm selling yeah I'm selling

[00:17:14] a Spanish fly no what I'll be selling is laughs a Cleveland Phoenix Madison

[00:17:20] Wow and I think on the 10th I think you're just gonna use the podcast to

[00:17:25] promote your shows yeah that's the whole reason we started this podcast six

[00:17:30] years ago well maybe we should have a fight about it maybe we should have a

[00:17:36] big on their spat for 43 minutes maybe how dare you how dare you promote

[00:17:43] shows when you know I'm too lazy to book it

[00:17:49] I'm sorry knowing that the t-shirt company isn't even paying me the money they

[00:17:54] owe me anymore you want me to go talk to them dude no it's not worth it you want

[00:17:58] me to go fucking crack some heads now there are a bunch of I mean they got

[00:18:02] their own problems yeah they got a lot of problems they all live in Albany that

[00:18:07] company's not doing well it's an all but you know how much money I make I can't

[00:18:11] be like where's the fucking $14,000 you owe me yes you can that's a lot of money

[00:18:16] yeah but I feel bad for them they miss Cuomo yeah Albany is really sad now I'm

[00:18:21] telling you this they got Hochill over there this is just just Cuomo you think

[00:18:26] it's a severe looking woman I think she looks like a regular bitch no she looks

[00:18:31] like someone's she looks like a scary aunt she looks like one of the James and

[00:18:35] the giant peaches oh yeah yeah she does seriously she's got fucked up eyes mm-hmm

[00:18:42] they're scaring me I'm peering into them and she's big teeth yeah but she

[00:18:46] probably right probably I feel like we did this actually I feel like I looked up

[00:18:50] young Kathy Hochill you know you really decided whether or not we'd fuck the

[00:18:54] governor of New York you you often over over the I feel like you give too much

[00:18:59] credit to some of the special stuff we've done in the past now the older

[00:19:03] women now you put too many in the yes category by virtue of them earning

[00:19:08] something by being old and I well they might be experienced Hochill might have

[00:19:12] sucked good dick from back it's you might have to you know you know how by

[00:19:16] logic you should be having sex with old man as well not at all because they

[00:19:22] okay here's what I'm saying remember you know how when because of global

[00:19:25] warming you know ice melts and like new diseases we don't have any fucking

[00:19:29] antibodies for get you know released into the air well what if you fuck an

[00:19:35] old bitch and it's like that and dick sucking techniques from that we've lost

[00:19:39] who have been lost to history for generations you unleash them that way

[00:19:44] is that you guys every fucking consider that we were saying it's frozen in her

[00:19:49] mouth yeah her mouth and your own long sawn it with my fat little nuts yeah

[00:19:54] but what if what if you release a virus that's been in her mouth an STD that's

[00:20:00] been out of commission for 50 years well that's you can't fuck with nature

[00:20:04] stop dude that's the other side of the sword you can't fuck with nature that's

[00:20:08] the flip side of the sword it's the other side of the sword

[00:20:13] yeah dude you can't fuck with the balance of nature sometimes you have to

[00:20:18] though yeah that's true take really you know there's no you can't get reward

[00:20:22] without a risk that's true so maybe I get my nuts sucked in a way that we

[00:20:27] haven't known about fucking eons but maybe I let go super chlamydia from the

[00:20:32] fucking for you know 1940s before fucking before we had penicillin I tell

[00:20:38] you Doc my dick's about to fall off my shit is burning doc doc I got sores all

[00:20:44] over my penis you think it's because I fucked a Chinese lady Doc I think it's

[00:20:48] from all that offshore pussy I was getting back in the Navy listen Doc I've

[00:20:54] got bad news I've made my dick so great oh he's a colasporin I've had I've

[00:21:03] well here's yes the ten pills of heroin and some child pornography

[00:21:11] now government issue child pornography make sure you don't smoke any marijuana

[00:21:19] have gay sex if you do have gay sex you have to do it with a wink and then

[00:21:27] you're allowed to job in the entertainment industry so I'm a place for

[00:21:31] you but you have to be coy about it that's the funniest part about homophobia

[00:21:37] is that it was like really it was sort of this you know because it's like at no

[00:21:41] point in history where they're like well it's not that there's not gonna be gay

[00:21:44] people right like no one ever believed that we can get down to zero like no

[00:21:49] one ever thought well of course yeah we got retards we got people with you know

[00:21:55] that limp everywhere so cool to have a couple homos intellectually it's not a

[00:22:00] choice but you have to hate somebody yeah we don't have vaccines yet so why

[00:22:08] not why not these guys and is but as long as they need to be entertaining

[00:22:13] and funny yeah and they have themselves like 1910 you could make like a

[00:22:21] children's movie that's like boy I'd love to suck on a man's something

[00:22:26] wing and sucking a little bit of cream out of another guy's

[00:22:39] that to pretend like you know like no that guy's just happy he's just the

[00:22:44] song and dance man him and his friends hate they just don't want to be tied down

[00:22:48] by women I could never find a girl for me unless you had a fucking cuz COC

[00:22:55] whoops see see see you okay yeah yeah yeah I got hello that kind of shit you'll

[00:23:03] go straight to hello everybody yeah I know the audience is begging for a cock

[00:23:09] commercial break yeah yeah a little respite from all this riffing well we

[00:23:14] done too much riffing here blue-chew uh-oh blue-chew folks and I'll say this you

[00:23:23] know why am I why am I batting nine out of ten on my last sexual encounters

[00:23:28] it's cuz on the days that I know my dick is lacking I let science take over

[00:23:33] it's true I trust the science I trust that I've actually been taking a new

[00:23:37] product they offer called the mood shoe what is it that if you're here's

[00:23:44] somebody that happens to have four stomachs oh okay I will have one it's

[00:23:49] sort of a bovine what do they have it a salata Phil or the Donna Phil is it

[00:23:55] beef jerky to get your dick hard yeah it's Ladonna Phil or china's Ladonna Phil

[00:23:59] Chinazafil I'm about to fucking fill up a bitch named Ladonna yeah with a dick a

[00:24:05] little Belladonna oh Belladonna was not that buck teeth lady that got these

[00:24:11] ball bats put up her ass she she used to go hard in the same really did did she

[00:24:15] don't know what she like she Belladonna was her hero

[00:24:21] that's awesome the porn star the porn star I got my dicks like by a girl who said

[00:24:28] Christy Mac was her hero yeah well and I will say she was good it's like that's

[00:24:33] the tattoo bitch she had like half a shaved head she's hot Christy Mac's very

[00:24:37] hot we would have dumb heroes yeah chef heroes I gave her a blanket yeah

[00:24:41] already and Nick Nick lives Abraham Lincoln because he got his thighs fucked

[00:24:46] by his friends what I think you're thinking of Socrates no I'm not

[00:24:53] I'm you're thinking Abraham Lincoln got his thighs fucked by his friend in his

[00:24:57] little log cabin on your thing he was gay as hell if you were guys we were gay

[00:25:01] but for him we that made no bones about it thank you very much you fucking you

[00:25:06] fucking your game for kids sounds like you made no bones about the women you've

[00:25:10] been seeing either yes I did and that's thanks in large part to our friends

[00:25:17] that blue shoe with the same active ingredients as Viagra and Seattle to

[00:25:23] dalaphil so dana fell and you know what I used to be an active ingredients in

[00:25:27] Seattle sky now you're a Viagra wish to over Viagra just a little spice of

[00:25:31] life well but that's it that's just for the just for the fuck but not for like

[00:25:36] the 36 hours right they each have separate and I think maybe that has a lot

[00:25:40] to do with not having a girlfriend where now it's like you know I know I'm gonna

[00:25:43] fuck it's like well well I pop a little blue or I'm sorry the moon why don't I

[00:25:48] have a little chewable tap why don't I have a job the move is from blue to invite

[00:25:53] somebody over you take the blue shoe and then when they buzz your apartment is

[00:25:57] a boot you'd like talking like who is it they're like it's the girl from called

[00:26:03] Penguin club bank no you're from DMS from DMS with kids no from DMS

[00:26:15] stop it's Mackenzie from Nickelodeon dot-com

[00:26:20] what isn't from the kid I am not at all group chat it's not that from fuck

[00:26:28] I would have kids even play anymore I don't know we traded Nintendo switch

[00:26:32] clothes codes on cooking mama no we didn't I don't know who you are from

[00:26:38] animal crossing yeah no yes by the way animal crossings all like gay adults

[00:26:44] it's not even children I don't think yeah it's minecraft oh for the kids I don't

[00:26:49] know dude I'll just play Zelda I play stuff for grownups yeah I play back

[00:26:52] ammo my I finished brende the wild and I had no idea I got caught into the making

[00:26:58] clothes trap again if any game any game will trick me into thinking it's going

[00:27:03] to be a very long game the second there's a clothes making option yeah

[00:27:08] Taylor of Panama what was Link Justin you know everything I had to make every

[00:27:15] type of clothes that you could make and have the fair all the great fairies

[00:27:19] enhanced all of the clothing which required a lot of finding lizards and

[00:27:24] different kinds of mushrooms the great fairies yeah you were in the game you and

[00:27:30] Adam you're not looking at me the great fairies or two oh I'm gonna get a

[00:27:34] little I have a little I'm holding a little mirror up you're not at all yes

[00:27:38] you're not holding a mirror it would be very funny to see a tiny fairy wings

[00:27:43] but real quick we got a talk powerful enough we got to talk about sit down

[00:27:47] fill with it all that's sure that you know what then the I don't have to deal

[00:27:52] with another email telling me that the promo code was not read in fact it was

[00:27:58] read they just didn't they the person they just stop listening probably seven

[00:28:03] minutes after they had started breaking they must have moved on because you say

[00:28:08] that I'm going to see if there's a way I consume my employer for making me

[00:28:12] listen to this because this was not I did not this is a form of sexual harassment

[00:28:19] making this dog shit to get that fucking to hear the promo code and it's so

[00:28:25] fucking girl that was a little advertising was like listening to this to make sure

[00:28:30] we're doing it she majored in advertising at Wisconsin lacrosse the board yet is

[00:28:35] it's girls that have to listen to these ads what if it turns out I've been saying

[00:28:39] lacrosse the board the entire time that'd be pretty cool thinking that was the

[00:28:43] the expression I wouldn't be surprised you're stupid coming from lacrosse

[00:28:50] you just thought the word across lacrosse come down 20 or whatever yeah okay blue

[00:28:58] shoot calm slash come and listen we love getting our dicks hard around here open

[00:29:03] that fucking drawer and pull the copy yeah absolutely that was part of your job

[00:29:06] this mom sorry I forgot again you wanted to get salty I didn't get oh we haven't

[00:29:11] even gotten into it breakfast for sandwich we haven't even gotten into it

[00:29:15] listen the people are tired of the breakfast sandwich thing I don't I mean

[00:29:20] you know does that mean we shouldn't stretch it out into a third week you

[00:29:24] know I used to be yes used to be we get the fall and I'd be like oh be nice to

[00:29:29] have a girlfriend just for the fall mm-hmm now I think you'll be nice to have a

[00:29:32] drug problem for the next five years just getting here get cozy up mm-hmm I

[00:29:40] found a maybe I get a tooth extracted if any of the fans have any idea how to

[00:29:46] give yourself like a cavity or an abscess or something each each he

[00:29:52] chocolate something if somebody I can inject into myself that I could get a

[00:29:56] prescription or maybe if I there's a way to shadow my kneecap they don't give

[00:30:00] you prescriptions anymore because the opioid crisis unless you find a cool

[00:30:04] dog you get your wisdom to you that no just give you tell I had a fat doctor

[00:30:08] named Alfredo that we came out pills like they were nothing yeah sounds cool

[00:30:11] he's like first of all I'm glad you came to me because I'm in a family straight

[00:30:17] up when I walked in he was like he tried to convince me to get gastric bypass

[00:30:21] surgery and I was like I'm here because my shoulder hurts he's like a skis because

[00:30:26] you carry in your stomach but real quick here's a special deal for our

[00:30:32] listeners if you try blue chew free when you use our promo code come down to

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[00:30:46] this podcast oh I really thank you madam and let's talk a little bit you know

[00:30:52] you kind of you know you didn't say any of the good parts of the fucking

[00:30:57] product the process is simple say the good parts you know you can sell with

[00:31:03] a nice three minutes worth of the good part you can sell with one their license

[00:31:07] medical providers and once you're approved you'll receive your prescription

[00:31:11] within days that's awesome discreet packaging and it's all done online you

[00:31:17] don't like swallowing pills you can chew them what else do not oh yeah we can't

[00:31:23] say any of that I think we hit it all and I just want to say your dick really

[00:31:29] does get hard your dick does get hard it does it doesn't make up for other

[00:31:34] shortcomings it will make it physical or person personality but for yep but

[00:31:40] your dick certainly gets hard and the and the shoebels will be will be made in

[00:31:46] the United States absolutely these colors don't fucking run this dick is

[00:31:50] getting your dick is getting hard thanks to the goo fucking the the chewable

[00:31:55] tablets that go into your mouth and down into your dick American hands crafted

[00:32:00] those American hands and all of their the people at the factory have papers

[00:32:05] absolutely I went through I went through all of their employment files and they

[00:32:10] are all legal and fucking horny they're all horny imagine you and they're all

[00:32:17] hot chicks you're gonna get a lot they're all girls they're all girls they're

[00:32:20] all girls stopping wet that are just want you to get hard for them begging you to

[00:32:25] get hard please please fuck me please I wanted I just want more guys to be hard

[00:32:31] I want your car that's the shit they're saying in there

[00:32:34] please get your dick hard and there's one gay is panic there's one guy doing

[00:32:41] police Navi dot

[00:32:44] Roseb

[00:32:51] culture is the best they have happy hour we have a good environment was the

[00:32:57] company is worker owned that's right yep I learned that from my social status

[00:33:01] podcast they have very agreeable maternity leave and that's good because

[00:33:06] all those pictures are getting rough they're getting fucked in the getting

[00:33:10] cummed in yeah they're constantly just getting busted and these are fucking

[00:33:15] overflowing with shit just in case you're just joining us now this is the blue

[00:33:21] to faculty we're at the fact all the workers are girls are

[00:33:26] stopping wet pussies that are filled to the brim with goo you can order you can

[00:33:32] order you can win a tour of the factory hosted by willy willy

[00:33:39] really heart willy swan and guess what it's like one of those factories where

[00:33:44] they see men see you see in my dick and they make them all work naked because

[00:33:53] they don't want them stealing any of the blue cheese it's like just like in

[00:33:57] blower one of those drug movies where they make the bitches naked with Wesley

[00:34:01] Snipes no no the original money tried no man were crook Shrissaw

[00:34:06] a crackhead a link back new jacks new jacksity nude nude nude to jacksity

[00:34:13] new black city new black city new black that I could not live there that's

[00:34:18] right buster about needs to make a shame it's about Jackie Chan

[00:34:25] or is that a smanky chick smanky but that was the last one yeah that was last

[00:34:30] episode yeah I got no I'm not paying the thing so anyway go to blue true dot

[00:34:35] com use promo code come to get five dollar free order just five dollar

[00:34:39] shipping as long as fuck all the hot girls sitting down at your personal

[00:34:44] computer head on over to come dot town perfect time to take boost hollywood

[00:34:50] sit a holiday sales by mentioning if you want to because they're like I tell

[00:34:54] you they're gonna fuck up and they're not gonna they're not gonna have your

[00:34:57] shit to you on time if you want it for the holidays you need to get in early

[00:35:01] you need it do you need to place those already now I guarantee if it gets the

[00:35:04] mid-October you ain't getting that shit till fucking March go to and listen go

[00:35:10] to stop without biz for merch they'll get there sooner get a weed Pranos shirt for

[00:35:16] your stepdad see if he's cool come dot town just pay whatever the price shipping

[00:35:21] I don't know what the fuck shipping it but go now you want the holiday shit you

[00:35:28] got a fucking shoot from pussy yourself you got a shoot from the pussy you got a

[00:35:33] shoot straight like it's a fucking ping-pong ball mm-hmm I'll tell you like

[00:35:37] you're back in hand-owing I want a bunch of little miniature blueberry muffins

[00:35:41] sounds awesome mm-hmm like it yeah you want them or you want I want them I

[00:35:46] thought you want an awesome I also want to participate in a cake walk which I

[00:35:51] haven't done since but you was the only thing I ever wanted my entire life I

[00:35:55] know it's incredible what's a cake walk it's a thing everyone wins you know

[00:35:59] everyone wins they say it's a cake walk you know with that expression comes up

[00:36:02] and as a kid I won a cake and I was like really yeah I was like this is a I

[00:36:08] the feel of I've never heard about a cake walk so they have like all the moms

[00:36:11] make a baked good right and then you get in a circle right walk around they

[00:36:16] stop walk around they stop yet stop on a number and then you get the

[00:36:20] corresponding baked goods so fucking it's the coolest thing in the entire world

[00:36:24] how the fuck have I never went on a cake walk well your family was too poor

[00:36:28] mm-hmm and you couldn't walk I could walk I was a great athlete as a youth more

[00:36:36] more more more care not so much walk listen

[00:36:41] nine-year-old the judge the judge the judge of nine-year-old both of your

[00:36:44] asses in sports judge judges and it's not even close the judges looking at the

[00:36:49] at the cake walk yeah like we can't see his legs moving it's just a ball no

[00:36:55] sort of rolling I had powerful legs as a youth no yeah I really did you're on I

[00:37:01] was a I was a young soccer star yeah no I just happened to be obese didn't happen

[00:37:07] they did happen you were the ball okay I remember one time though this is no I

[00:37:12] was not the one time though you were like me and eldest like we were the same

[00:37:16] we're the same height growing up and then he just got told I didn't and then you

[00:37:19] showed a picture of you and all this is kids and he's clearly way no no yeah he

[00:37:24] was I did that was fifth grade and it already started but we were the big kids

[00:37:29] you know he was you were top row you were a top row thank you Adam I was

[00:37:34] top row just being fair I've been the same I think you would not say my since

[00:37:39] fucking seven minute there's nothing I could do about it I stopped growing and

[00:37:44] fucking eighth grade mm-hmm held this is bitch as fuck it said it already started

[00:37:48] fifth grade well the it the separation elementary school picture we're talking

[00:37:52] we're talking kids on a carpet with their legs crossed mm-hmm I was top row and

[00:37:57] you both know it I spent a girl wearing her best sweater I was top row kind of

[00:38:02] style yes that is what it was yeah but we were the tallest kids in class

[00:38:07] growing up yeah that cocksucker kept growing and I stayed right here where I'm

[00:38:11] at you slowed down and I'm still pissed off at God for them and I can suck my

[00:38:17] fucking now eldest is one of those tall hot guys just being handed everything

[00:38:23] he said yeah just one of those jocks it doesn't even have to open his mouth he

[00:38:29] just gets me coordinated people have ever met I know he's just such a fumbly

[00:38:34] guy but yeah I guess the Lord said you know what I have I'm too strong mm-hmm

[00:38:39] to come I'm a compact I'm rich you know I'm like a fucking a lint chocolate when

[00:38:46] there's a little lint chocolate balls yeah that reminds me of Christmas time I

[00:38:51] eat the lint 100% dark chocolate yeah and they come in a special gold foil and

[00:38:57] there's a tasting guide inside of the fucking box 100% 100% dude there's no

[00:39:02] sugar whatsoever in that bitch it's like eating a little piece of a shit that's

[00:39:07] great I like an 87% no I smoke I smoke a cigarette and I have my dark chocolate

[00:39:13] and I pretend I'm interrogating a French family where the Jews where did you

[00:39:19] hide them where did you hide them I just say you know what I'm here we all know

[00:39:25] what I'm here I'm not even gonna ask any questions I'm gonna eat this bar of

[00:39:28] chocolate and I don't need to tell you what happens when I finish it if I

[00:39:34] don't have what I want and then I slowly break off a piece and I eat it and I

[00:39:39] smoke my sick you're like mmm delicious and you shoot you shoot around into the

[00:39:45] attic

[00:39:52] I'd like to speak this language I don't even speak German I'm here volunteer

[00:39:59] I'm here I'm here I'm here a Bakerfield California I'm here on an internship it's

[00:40:04] 2013 yeah it's not even the Holocaust just a young girl from North Jersey

[00:40:13] getting an internship with the Nazi party yeah there's our uncle doing

[00:40:17] social media yeah yeah hey just asking you're not having any Jews in the basement

[00:40:22] are you oh my god we are your own people how can you do this to us I don't know

[00:40:28] I could ask I'm just like really trying to get a good job trying to get a good

[00:40:35] job a good job I'm trying to work at the car they neck condom condom nasty

[00:40:44] condom gas condom gas that's good stuff well dry cough they sponsored by Ridge

[00:40:52] wallet yeah Ridge wallet our favorite sponsor we love those fuckers we're we

[00:41:02] literally use all their products it's a product we use I use the backpack all

[00:41:06] the time because I go places I use the back it would be nice if I had a bigger

[00:41:11] one I use the backpack to you know I go on the road a lot it'd be nice if I had

[00:41:15] a fucking what the fuck are those commuter no the duffle bag you know

[00:41:21] you know hard it is that not only you got a pack your clothes but bring your

[00:41:25] full-size refrigerator with you I would I have to do that I haven't shipped on

[00:41:31] the plane which is the same plane from the movie operation dump I couldn't even

[00:41:36] use it I could use a fucking and duffle bag and it's the it's the night of the

[00:41:42] big show and we're here at the LZ outside of hilarities comedy club and

[00:41:47] there comes stop roast with his refrigerator and tow parachuting down

[00:41:51] either gets perured directly into the club is gracefully down into the big

[00:41:57] field outside of Cleveland well he'll be brought by earth movers to his why

[00:42:05] would I use the airport and all the outdoor pool the big emptied out the

[00:42:09] local sea world has emptied out the pool and they put hamster hamster cage shit

[00:42:16] all over the bottom and the local children have come to welcome him and

[00:42:21] wave him on as it lasts at all what happened you guys are fucking alive and

[00:42:26] the most important part is that he brings a refrigerator with you guys are in

[00:42:32] fucking live the Ridge wallet refrigerated why don't you give us a review of the

[00:42:36] duffle bag that you stop using the fridge wallet no no the duffle bag I gave away

[00:42:41] to a guy dying with AIDS who emailed it's definitely here no it's definitely in

[00:42:45] this fucking I can't wait till all the fans die of his our story father some

[00:42:52] some team Daniel and Paul Kane launched their Ridge wall while momlet on kick

[00:42:58] wahmlet kick starboard in 2013 is it the same say that right and now sits in

[00:43:06] the fromage pocket of a million over a million men and women worldwide it's

[00:43:20] pretty good story the two have since recruit recruit quite required it as

[00:43:27] small close can it can it's team to ex well Paul and Chris if you're listening

[00:43:36] give me a fucking duffle bag because I'll put it to use and send me one of the

[00:43:41] knives fuck you next fuck you Adam why you got a big backpack all right I've

[00:43:47] been using it dude I took that that backpack's been to France

[00:43:51] their vision of create 18 anyway they got phone cases wallets backpacks knives

[00:44:02] and power stuff power straps you've been up for Don and Tom Paul is the good guys

[00:44:08] Daniel and Paul Kane sorry good guys man the Paulus brothers who created the

[00:44:15] wallet and back in 2009 it looks like they're kind of those van life kind of

[00:44:20] people from the base on this picture yeah van life it's sort of a Gabby the

[00:44:24] Titito yeah kind of like Brian's Brian singer situation do they do they didn't

[00:44:32] get laundry yet they're never gonna find them they're never gonna find laundry

[00:44:36] no oh shit they got still out and about no he I guarantee good on him somewhere

[00:44:41] in Bushwick right now yeah with a mixed race kid with that mop haircut yeah

[00:44:46] he's literally on Tinder going the a's on Tinder he's going to Maria Hernandez

[00:44:50] Park every day he's hiding in plain sight to hit on girls dress like fucking

[00:44:55] nightmare before Christmas nerds now we were all born in 2001 and I'm staring

[00:45:02] out my blinds in a wheelchair masturbating fucking calling the police

[00:45:07] I'm about to come I'm about to come there's children fucking more than I did or

[00:45:12] do now and it's pissing me off good thing I have my Ridge wall you don't

[00:45:17] understand me listen detective I'm a I'm an old man is wasting his fucking life

[00:45:23] and everybody hates me and all I can do is jack off and I want you to arrest

[00:45:28] those kids for getting more pussy than me but sir it's me the police what if we

[00:45:35] sent you a Ridge wall yeah or any of their line or products well you send me

[00:45:42] a bitch yeah what if we put a Ridge wall in her pussy I guess I'll have to accept

[00:45:48] that okay great this is Jimmy Stewart in that movie it's not it is in rear window

[00:45:55] rear window yeah and why I thought it was Gregory Peck for a second I was

[00:45:59] wanting to Gregory Peck now there's a guy I got a lot of fucking pussy not me I

[00:46:04] was in World War two and I don't think some a fucking loser they got any Gregory

[00:46:09] Peck in my ass they got a titanium wall they got an aluminum they have a gold

[00:46:13] wallet I got the carbon fire looks like the gold has been discontinued I have

[00:46:17] 18 carat it looks like it's right here where I don't see it it's under their

[00:46:21] best sellers not only did not just continue to a lot of fucking losers have

[00:46:26] that one yeah they got a teaky wallet with a Hawaiian shit on it they got all

[00:46:32] types of stuff guys these wallets they protect against hackers scanning your

[00:46:38] credit cards which happens to me on a daily basis personally what else that's

[00:46:44] I mean what's the what's the deal that they get Nick the deal I don't think

[00:46:50] they even have a deal we just promote their products okay I don't think there's a deal

[00:46:55] I don't think there's a deal well fuck around check it out and type

[00:47:01] comtown cut type comtown try them out here check out let's see let's check out

[00:47:08] express check out code or gift card let's check there's a go there's gotta be a

[00:47:13] code there's a good yeah put in there fucking sleepy a Jim good oh yeah no hold

[00:47:21] on I guess I'm off here it looks so come town says hospital employees medical

[00:47:27] providers that looks like it got me $12.50 off there you go that's pretty good

[00:47:34] that's free fucking money right there you money put in your pocket a lot of

[00:47:38] folks say $12.50 can't buy a lot these days but with 10 10 20 that'll get you

[00:47:44] a fucking 20 20 that'll get you a 20 minute long distance phone call okay

[00:47:49] Bobby boy boobie I know you okay chachi okay you want to call up the fucking

[00:47:54] salt in a Brunei and tell him that in 12 11 his letter to salt and met met

[00:47:59] the throw 14 was fucking explicitly homosexual and Gator than when Catherine

[00:48:06] the great sect yeah yeah even doing even doing it's so funny how much how much

[00:48:15] people fucking every commercial was for ways to make a long distance calls

[00:48:20] yeah they had Seth Green talking about CA LL ATT I remember using 10 10 2 20

[00:48:27] I was heavy on the 10 10 2 20 I remember placing a collect call and my mom

[00:48:34] getting mad at me about it you can just deny the call it's funny because there

[00:48:38] is that that commercial with the Bob we had a baby eats a boy yes that was a

[00:48:42] good commercial tell you how to fucking game the system well that's what I did

[00:48:46] with my mom I would be like hey pick me up exactly pick me up from Greek

[00:48:51] school yeah even though it was a three block walk with my parents with Greek

[00:48:56] school that's just being molested yeah you go in a guy took a section little

[00:49:00] as dick yeah well it's like you know you you get molested and you learn how to

[00:49:05] molest right that's fifth grade enough sixth grade you should be you should be

[00:49:10] the little Caesar's guy for Halloween this year stuff pizza pizza penis penis

[00:49:14] there's not much of the costume there's a spear calm down a spear with a

[00:49:20] down in the the the the all what is that like all of Lee what a Greek people

[00:49:26] were yeah yeah one of those Olympics ships the wreath yeah whatever that shit is

[00:49:31] you wear that and then your back hurts

[00:49:39] uh...

[00:49:42] comtown is a promo code that's awesome that's awesome check them out I really

[00:49:48] did I use it's a great product it is the ritual fuck it was a great and I have

[00:49:52] nothing against them let me put that out there but if they want to send us more

[00:49:56] free shit not us if they want to write some historical wrongs

[00:50:02] I was a little back I understand that not getting an extra thing there's three

[00:50:08] backpacks that we got said yours is missing a pocket therefore you get

[00:50:12] extra stuff to put you ahead of the rest of us mmm rather no no what happened

[00:50:16] was we played rock paper scissors and stop loss I lose like a gentleman I am

[00:50:21] getting fucked here he said to okay I'm getting fucked in a major way and I

[00:50:27] think it's only fair that the guy who's getting fucked backpack wise mmm gets an

[00:50:32] extra bag no what what wrong needs to be corrected as we need to go back all

[00:50:35] the way to nineteen ninety three and get your little fat ass in a fucking cake

[00:50:39] walk that would be awesome maybe you would have been trying to find your

[00:50:43] whole life on your shoulder that you've been nipping at like a fucking crumb I

[00:50:48] would have loved you and the thing is there is no child in the world in the

[00:50:53] history of the world they would have appreciated a cake walk with me

[00:50:56] change your that's what I would have done

[00:51:01] you would have you I want to do this I want to go to a cakewalk so bad I want

[00:51:06] patience we'll find you a cakewalk you got to join a church you should have

[00:51:09] written a tried to submit an article to salon during the pandemic about how you

[00:51:13] never got a cake walks a kid the picture of yourself and now you'll know

[00:51:17] you probably never will because of Corona this is a picture of you looking

[00:51:21] serious with your hair all shitty go to the side like I'm I look there's a very

[00:51:26] good chance I'll lose the use of my legs during the pandemic during

[00:51:30] quarantine which I did for a period last summer that's right I had my own

[00:51:36] personal Corona core people forget that the stop was literally wheelchair bound

[00:51:42] for like that was your first one yeah yeah it was pretty cool wearing wearing a

[00:51:48] swimsuit that was my first out of wanting to kill myself and avoid some

[00:51:52] time that was that was a very interesting time I remember just going

[00:51:57] into your bedroom and then just all of us just doing different pills that you

[00:52:01] had and like a miscellaneous pill jar really was really fucked up yeah that

[00:52:06] was maybe the worst three months of my life damn I'm trying to remember the

[00:52:11] worst three months of my life yeah a lot of it I guess yeah anyway so stop we

[00:52:23] both watch the many sense of Newark we'll get to that what happened what

[00:52:28] revelations you have in Nashville Adam oh well listen of course the many

[00:52:33] paints of that I was gonna bring this up last time you said it yeah was it I

[00:52:38] don't know where to go from there I think of the many paints of the colors of

[00:52:42] the wind okay no that's definitely not it

[00:52:49] so what happened just a lot of people approached me and they said that I was

[00:52:58] right about the breakfast what is there even to be right about mm-hmm

[00:53:03] what the fuck is there even to be right about they said they said that you were

[00:53:08] being you know what I found out this they're out of bounds you know what I

[00:53:13] found out that's what I said to them you know you didn't hold on yeah I

[00:53:18] you're right for you I said I fucking did and I said for you to make disparaging

[00:53:22] comments no stop what it's fat phobia if they were against me yeah it's true

[00:53:26] I found out that say a lot of fat phobic things go ahead and then there's gonna

[00:53:29] think I can hold my breath for three minutes no way yeah how'd you find that

[00:53:34] I just tried it I want to do three minutes three minutes which is

[00:53:40] apparently that's like you know you should get into is you should David

[00:53:44] playing can only do six and a half minutes he's a fuck you're half blank I'm

[00:53:48] halfway there any trade for that shit I wish y'all I could go let's all try though

[00:53:54] what are the time you know you're gonna be cheating also we need you to grill

[00:53:58] Adam on this whatever he's saying about the about the thing you the fact that

[00:54:04] you first of all apologize last week I retract my apology and now because some

[00:54:09] fucking yokels in Nashville some fat phobic pieces of shit yeah don't

[00:54:14] understand what friendship is and don't understand what having someone's back

[00:54:18] of me first of all they understand friendship they're my friends they're

[00:54:21] not okay and second of all they don't love you I love you they don't love you

[00:54:27] and you fucking betrayed me and you apologize and I was happy to put it behind

[00:54:31] those hit me because you love me I do maybe this is a cycle of violence that I

[00:54:36] need to bust my way out of you need those you give me the names and addresses of

[00:54:40] the people that said you were right about fucking I'm gonna find them and you know

[00:54:44] what you probably said thanks you guys because you know what you know many

[00:54:46] people come up to me I said we're gonna have people come up to me and say listen

[00:54:50] to Adam he's gay I'm pretty sure thousands yeah and you know what I say

[00:54:55] them a lot of them a lot of them friends a lot of them tell me that too

[00:55:00] here's and I say Adam's my friend I don't know you I said I said to you probably

[00:55:05] said yeah he's a fucking idiot no I said no no no no no no no no no sir I'm sorry

[00:55:32] I should have been you should have and you're not

[00:55:36] educating us I will concede that point I will concede that you can see the

[00:55:41] sandwich retract your attraction of your post no I want to finish what I said

[00:55:45] to those fucking what I said to those people what I said was you pretend like

[00:55:49] you get this is a peek behind this is a peek behind after you wear a motherfucker

[00:55:53] out trying to get you to understand what you did wrong yep and then you finally

[00:55:58] do in the second you breathe easy you say oh but you know I guess I was kind

[00:56:01] of in the right it just breaks you down a lot of people said and that's emotional

[00:56:06] abuse I'm just saying I'm not saying abuse me okay listen you're what I said

[00:56:11] to those people are toxic it's true you're fucking toxic what I said gosh

[00:56:18] what I said to those people I said it's a show and we were just having fun

[00:56:22] that's what I said to them that's a cop out I didn't say yes that's a way for

[00:56:26] you to say yes you're right that I was one I'm not only not

[00:56:30] making himself this magnanimous fucking time I said we're just having fun

[00:56:34] right now you're not really saying yes right yeah of course he was wrong but I'm

[00:56:40] but for me I'm doing a job I'm entertaining I couldn't have I said it's

[00:56:45] just a show we were just doesn't know any better poor Star Rose but I didn't

[00:56:49] say that he's not saying any of that I didn't why that marmalade on the brain

[00:56:54] and I didn't apply at all stickie and they don't conduct someone was a

[00:57:00] come up to me and say that my friend sovice fat I'll tell them that they're

[00:57:03] fucking idiot and they don't they're very met stuff in real life sovice is not

[00:57:07] fat at all it's a character it's just a character it's just a show yeah if they

[00:57:15] want to talk shit but they were talking shit about you they were no they were

[00:57:19] by weighing in against me on the same debate they were attacking everything I

[00:57:23] stand for some of there are a couple and you're so weak we're a professor and

[00:57:27] we're reminded that you let these fucking idiots to take away them just correct

[00:57:33] stance you would finally come to I'm just saying you let them drive a wedge

[00:57:37] between us okay and that's your fucking issue I've said this before I am nothing

[00:57:41] if not a survivor and if popular sentiment goes one way that's where I'm

[00:57:45] going to that's how fucking that's how you fucking were missing the forest for

[00:57:49] the fucking trees motherfucker you're around some little dick ass trees that

[00:57:53] they just wanted to curry favor with you they probably don't even believe it

[00:57:57] because what kind of morally bankrupt person we listen to the sand which

[00:58:00] saga and land with you on that situation I get it discuss yeah exactly they so

[00:58:07] they were lying to you I guarantee you fucking stop we're in that end town

[00:58:11] exactly they would say I can't believe that would Adam did if I were in town I

[00:58:16] would have hung out in the green room the whole time then gone to my hotel

[00:58:19] that's probably honestly the most on solution I would have bomb the whole

[00:58:24] week they would have done better than me on the shows and I wouldn't even fucking

[00:58:27] care I want to watch any other sets I would not fucking give them advice or

[00:58:32] be cool to them and I wish them the best of luck but just none of my personal

[00:58:38] time but none of my time because that's because if they're lucky they get that

[00:58:43] one in a million shot and things work out it's going to ruin their life because

[00:58:49] I am I am actually the one who cares about people not really but right you know

[00:58:56] it's something to tell yourself to tell yourself exactly it's how I sleep

[00:59:01] and my sleep is important because I'm bipolar and if I don't sleep then I guess

[00:59:07] he's going to have to use Adam's credit card to buy a bunch of puzzles

[00:59:13] online fuck is it get do people go more bipolar in the fucking winter is there

[00:59:24] bipolar season I feel like summer is worse yeah that makes sense yeah like cooks

[00:59:29] your brain yeah yeah that makes sense you gotta stay cool yeah you gotta stay

[00:59:35] sexy out there you gotta stay cool you gotta stay hot you gotta suck big you

[00:59:41] gotta eat as you gotta be a hag well I guess since the episode is coming to an

[00:59:46] end we can discuss the many sense of Newark spoiler alert everyone we will

[00:59:49] be the many paints of yeah go ahead you get a second crack out fuck the many

[00:59:55] paints no faggot no many paints of what's the guy's name Bob Bob Hoskins the

[01:00:04] painter Ross many paints Bob Ross that sounds like they work

[01:00:10] brawls that paints a Bob Ross he's pretty good a painting he's dead dude he was

[01:00:16] he's got a daughter a granddaughter some shit show by a house in Newark yeah why

[01:00:22] not it's mad cheap do you get a house like Forest Hill for like 600 grand is

[01:00:27] that a neighborhood there yeah it's like a nice historic neighborhood oh really

[01:00:31] just didn't fucking Newark so it's like how far is it it's like right you know

[01:00:37] right outside Newark's right outside the city what do you want to take like 40

[01:00:41] minutes drive from here no it's like Newark is as far away from Manhattan as

[01:00:45] Brooklyn is basically interesting yeah like if you were living in I don't think

[01:00:49] that's true no it is true if you're living like Ocean Hill or something like

[01:00:52] you know a little deep like a far-crown heights or something it's not

[01:00:55] you're saying deep Brooklyn it's not like being in Williams where I mean

[01:00:58] bedstiles pretty fucking close look at a map look at a I was surprised last time

[01:01:03] I went to Newark airport half-assed just want to refute something I'm saying

[01:01:06] that you're like I don't think I think you saying that Newark is as far as

[01:01:12] Brooklyn is not true you go over a bridge and then you're in Brooklyn you can't

[01:01:16] go over a bridge and be in Newark anyway that movie fucking sucked

[01:01:22] Slav and I both agree that movie sucked yeah it was not very good it broke my

[01:01:26] heart in fact I would say there's a movie about fucking there's no reason for it

[01:01:30] to exist you know it really pissed me off if you actually want to talk about

[01:01:35] America's as far away from Manhattan is Ocean Hill or like deep ground heights I

[01:01:40] didn't know you were talking about deep or flat bus that's first of all it's not

[01:01:43] deep broken I'm not making this point saying like yeah it's about as far

[01:01:45] with Brighton beaches fucking Ocean Hill Crown Heights that's reasonable flat

[01:01:50] bush even it's probably closer than flat bus you got a suck dick you got a

[01:01:56] fuck I actually got it's like pussy what was that Adam um fuck you also no dare

[01:02:06] you I'm wrong about how close Newark is yeah fuck yeah I'm sorry what the fuck

[01:02:15] is this the Newark Museum of art what do they got there just a piece of toilet

[01:02:19] paper somebody wiped their ass with yeah it's modern art yeah that's modern

[01:02:23] art get they ask

[01:02:27] Saagama father is stupid Abe Lincoln statue that's the guy that gets his

[01:02:34] ass there's thigh cheeks fucked he was from Newark yeah he's from Newark I

[01:02:38] didn't know that the building itself looks cool it was a once-grade city

[01:02:46] that Italians built brick by brick fucking brick and then they gave it away

[01:02:52] out of the goodness of their own hearts I can't believe it no the thing that did

[01:02:59] piss me off yes go ahead is that when you watch the show in all the flashback

[01:03:04] scenes they're all very like sweet and kind of like rose tinted it's 595 for

[01:03:10] this place that's still real money yeah do you have you look at a big house you

[01:03:17] can cause $3 million in New York yeah and if you look at home prices in the

[01:03:22] rest of the country now nowhere is fucking cheap it's like the average home prices

[01:03:26] everywhere like $300,000 is insane yeah it's right hey Greek town you can still

[01:03:32] get a nice deal over there we should all move to Greek town boys get a house for

[01:03:36] 150k that is a really nice house you got us like a day and you got a fuck of course

[01:03:43] I'll never do such a thing now it's still too far away yeah I'll continue to be

[01:03:48] fucked in my ass and rent in New York until the money dries up from the show

[01:03:54] at which point I will start abusing the social services for people with violent

[01:04:00] mental illness what are we doing for them these days what do you mean what

[01:04:06] are we doing the social services I dated a girl for a while that like ran a housing

[01:04:11] program for mentally ill people and she get a house sincerely was like you know I

[01:04:16] could get you an apartment you should have took her up on it yeah probably

[01:04:24] damn yeah but then we broke up and then I would have to like check in do you see

[01:04:29] how Jewish Adam was there he's like damn I could see the look in his eyes

[01:04:32] mm-hmm he's like can I fake it sounds like a new apartment this place 599

[01:04:37] gorgeous that is gorgeous yeah and Adam could never live there see it yeah you

[01:04:42] know he's not allowed this I can go and Zillow on my phone if you do and you do

[01:04:47] that my company I will start kicking the back of your show I'm gonna do it

[01:04:50] behind your back start kicking your knees and aiming for your bro I'm gonna be

[01:04:54] doing that behind your back gonna start kicking towards you yeah this even when

[01:04:59] I hear that your their phone chun lock noise just to be safe I'm gonna put it

[01:05:03] on silent round house kicking your ankles and thighs just whacking I feel like

[01:05:09] movies really overstated giving your legs the chop movies really overstated the

[01:05:14] the power of a roundhouse kick no they didn't yeah not him because Adam tried

[01:05:19] to roundhouse kick you just don't know how to kick it just takes a long time to

[01:05:23] get around you know you have no power you could never do karate me mm-hmm why

[01:05:37] don't have the gumption it's true aren't built for it you're absolutely or

[01:05:45] built for combat Adam does Brazilian shoe kids boo he goes to a place and they

[01:05:51] serve in this children's feces and he choose it like bubblegum do you really

[01:05:56] do if you don't swallow the food they can't judge you for it and then he spits it

[01:06:00] back out on the plate and he's like I'm still get the new tree I'm turn I'm

[01:06:03] returning this child children shit that I refuse to do you really do that

[01:06:11] Adam I don't do that but yeah boy yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah but was it

[01:06:18] Portuguese people oh yeah Brazilian she's a huge huge huge huge you really do

[01:06:26] that Adam I don't do that but you could do that did we say promo code come town

[01:06:32] yeah we did we did rage while yeah for either one Ridge Wall had blue shoe

[01:06:38] come town or come towns one I think they're both come town this time Wow

[01:06:42] what a time to be a lot what I was gonna say stuff was that I feel like in all

[01:06:52] the flashbacks scenes in the show you realize that the flashbacks like he's

[01:06:57] like with Melphy so you realize the flashbacks are kind of like misremembering

[01:07:01] the color yeah right because that's how like color glass that's how people

[01:07:05] remember their childhood right yeah but but you know you're like you can

[01:07:11] assume that that's not actually how things happen because that's just one

[01:07:14] guy's memory of his past of course as a little kid as he's a little kid too

[01:07:19] no one remembers things clearly from their youth but I feel like the tone of the

[01:07:23] movie was the same thing yeah but it wasn't like someone looking back and

[01:07:28] like having nostalgia for the past it was just like yeah we're gonna make a

[01:07:32] whole movie it's not even gonna be like Tony misremembering the past right but

[01:07:37] it's like but also like Christopher's and Christopher's the narrator yeah how

[01:07:42] does that it's you know about any of this apparently they had like various

[01:07:47] like openings and closings that they threw away one was like Carmella in a

[01:07:52] cemetery looking at Christopher's grave and then she was gonna be the narrator

[01:07:57] and then just ended well we were saying before the show like just all the

[01:08:01] fucking Easter eggs for the fan it felt like a fucking Marvel movie or like it

[01:08:05] was like all such fan servicey bullshit they're like that's right Carmella oh

[01:08:10] when he says Carmella and she's not there's no reason for to be there's no

[01:08:13] there's absolutely no reason and get all the junior lines and all the fucking and

[01:08:18] then Paulie and Sylvia were whole I mean Sylvia's the guy that played Sylvia

[01:08:21] was just doing a cartoony just a cartoonist impression it pissed me off I

[01:08:29] really I expected nothing out of that movie and then the next day I was

[01:08:32] thinking about it and I was just like I'm gonna watch it again I will say I

[01:08:35] actually like John Bernthal's performance because he's the one guy who wasn't

[01:08:38] doing an impression I like seeing him in anything because he's did he made

[01:08:42] it he made the characters own thing yeah and then and then and then and then I

[01:08:46] will say Ray Liotta's second guy Jim one time was yeah John Bernthal yeah

[01:08:51] anybody you worked out so quickly that you didn't have time to process it was

[01:08:56] John Bernthal was he actually working out or was he's just I think I he probably

[01:09:01] just was like looking for something to do I get a quick pump yeah it didn't look

[01:09:05] like I like seeing that guy I just walked around on an exercise ball for a

[01:09:08] minute and then maybe did like the black Bulldogs I can't remember but he

[01:09:11] wasn't there that long yeah and also wait can I ask you another question do

[01:09:16] you think there was an implication that juniors gay because she's like you know

[01:09:22] he's complaining about his back then she's like yeah that you know you you

[01:09:25] never you know like she then she implied anything not the fuck anything not to

[01:09:30] fuck and then you remember in the show there's that scene where he beats the

[01:09:34] woman up for claiming that he likes to eat pussy because it's gay to like to

[01:09:38] eat pussy and then there's like that's like one of the saddest scenes it would

[01:09:41] be really funny if he was gay and eating put in this world eating pussy is gay

[01:09:46] yeah yeah it kind of is um I don't know I'd have to rethink that I just thought

[01:09:54] to like yeah everything was really hamfisted and just just didn't there was

[01:09:59] no story really there's no reason to make that movie there was there was

[01:10:05] nothing I will say the the Italian Hollywood Dicks Italian wife was a piece

[01:10:12] of a so hot so if you're listening to this can I please suck your tips it looks

[01:10:17] like kind of like a like a young Penelope cruise she's got trail be cruise

[01:10:20] vibes for sure but it's like untal donzo just for a second cuz I didn't watch

[01:10:25] this thing yeah but house fucking stupid and lazy a name is the many saints of

[01:10:32] New York yeah multi-salty is that what many yeah well it's still it's still

[01:10:40] but also it's like I didn't feel like we understood that world at all it was

[01:10:44] all felt like a flashback like who were who the fuck was Joey Coco Diaz who was

[01:10:50] that I don't know like who the fuck was he at all like why don't we know anything

[01:10:54] about just some guy that looks like pussy yeah and it was funny that they'd

[01:10:58] like Casam Simone guy yeah I was like in do yeah some Pacific Island

[01:11:07] to play I mean I guess you did look a little bit like him but and also just

[01:11:11] the fucking kid is so bad at acting can't a fiendy son yeah oh they got his

[01:11:17] real son I feel bad that's an impossible position to be in yeah it's

[01:11:21] like your feet he's the greatest actor of all time also that kid like

[01:11:25] apparently he's like sober he's like had demons but like like as a that's as they

[01:11:30] call it if you use a drink is that I had demons no no but you would imagine haunted

[01:11:34] by something from hell well you're playing it yeah whatever okay maybe I'm

[01:11:39] I'm reading it I'm reading into things too much but like you like okay you're

[01:11:44] you're fucking chasing the ghost of your father who played like the most

[01:11:48] fucking like legendary fucking television maybe the whole of all time

[01:11:53] the most yeah yeah right and then like you lose him when you're a little kid and

[01:11:58] then you go into acting by playing like that's I feel so bad for him totally and

[01:12:03] but that's what it feels like is like it's these things where you can't exact

[01:12:06] like you can't blame that kid for trying right no and then but you also and it's

[01:12:11] on some level you can't blame this feels like David Chase this feels like when

[01:12:15] MJ put on the fucking Wizards jersey absolutely where it's like he just wanted

[01:12:19] a little taste of what he used to be because this it felt like the Wizards

[01:12:24] like yeah there's moments we're like oh that was pretty cool yeah but it's a mess

[01:12:28] you should have played young Tony's pronto is Paul Dano just make them get

[01:12:35] fat he would have crushed it he would have crushed it I mean it would have been

[01:12:40] weird yeah I mean he looks 15 he's probably like 40 at this point but he's

[01:12:46] one of the way to all the play young but he looks yeah but he's one of the

[01:12:49] he looks like the G-train all the time well that settles it yeah so he should

[01:12:54] have been there look at him now of course how old is he 15 y'all he's 52 years

[01:12:59] he's always gonna look 15 that guy but yeah with the I mean every time it was

[01:13:06] a character that was for a contemporary like a young version of a character no

[01:13:12] one did a good except you know the one who played Olivia was pretty good she

[01:13:16] was the best part of the really good and you know what was really cool about it

[01:13:19] is that her performance she sounded exactly like Carmella and then like oh

[01:13:22] you like yeah do you marry your mother like that oh that that was the one all

[01:13:27] the thing that actually like didn't bother and that had some depth to it

[01:13:30] was actually interesting and yet she played you know what I'll say Ray Leota

[01:13:34] second guy what a nice guy was really good but at the same time they should

[01:13:38] have put a cokew in it or Coco T who's that iced tea's boy they should have

[01:13:45] put her that's her name right yeah Coco T she would have been good she would have

[01:13:56] been good Olivia Soprano let me cast tell me some other names all right so

[01:14:06] young young for walking as as the returns is Frank White yeah that'd be good

[01:14:11] pranos but this and then why the fuck was Frank Vincent and the fuck was Frank

[01:14:16] Vincent they had I think they wanted to do because of 2021 they had to have like

[01:14:20] a social justice ass like although that's not true because I remember they

[01:14:25] mentioned the Newark riots like in the flashback yeah yeah in season one when

[01:14:29] he goes to follow his dad to the fair yeah yeah she's like stay off Springfield

[01:14:33] Avenue because they're tearing it apart so like I guess they're like

[01:14:36] calling back to that they were but it's also like why did we need to have oh no

[01:14:40] Frank Lucas Frank Lucas not Frank Vincent what the fuck was that scene even

[01:14:43] about I was just a mess bro it's like do you remember American gangster we got

[01:14:49] that guy in this movie too and it's also like the one time you use a real gangster

[01:14:55] yeah it's the one actual like they never they never say like oh fucking you know

[01:15:02] yeah whatever Vince Gigante or like they don't use real get out of just fucking

[01:15:07] bad dude it sucked it sucked it broke my heart yeah honestly I like went into

[01:15:12] it expecting nothing in the next day I started getting I'm gonna rewatch it but

[01:15:17] I rewatched it with Racine this weekend because he hadn't seen it but

[01:15:22] um when you put on a movie for a baby yeah I just wanted to keep him yeah just

[01:15:29] just put him across legged in the diaper yeah rule coming out his mouth just

[01:15:34] clapping with all his fingers spread apart yeah Tony yeah oh yeah you know it's

[01:15:42] funny I actually thought the like kid who played Tony as a little kid was

[01:15:45] better yeah I saw him at I saw him at Adam saw a little baby interesting

[01:15:52] yeah he was there privately they had a secret you did you had a private meet up

[01:15:56] with a baby yeah went to a private baby meet up it sounds well yeah I mean it's

[01:16:00] a meet up for babies no I mean there were other adult guys there Adam

[01:16:04] meeting one of his friends from R slash babies yeah we had a meet up the

[01:16:10] baby subreddit yeah we did we all took a selfie together for our slash baby

[01:16:14] made up babies and we had a meet up and Adam showed up I thought there's the

[01:16:21] place for baby dicked guys yeah please go raid that subreddit that are

[01:16:29] babies would be like yeah my dick is now I thought this was for a small

[01:16:36] dick for guys with a little as well I would love to just hundreds of posts

[01:16:40] like that on the art because it's just people posting their babies oh really

[01:16:44] like yeah I got a baby just yeah post your little ass beat us on this

[01:16:50] to your post your actual day don't post any pornography just make it seem like

[01:16:56] you earnestly thought this was the subreddit for baby dick guys now that

[01:17:01] the small dick problem subreddit is privated oh is it private well they

[01:17:05] made a private because I made the mistake of trying to in good faith read some of

[01:17:11] those pose oh I remember that we did that episode I'm bored the get the

[01:17:16] rice of the laugh I'll do that was a fun episode actually do I mean that that

[01:17:22] subreddit is one of the funniest things I know that was one of the best episodes

[01:17:26] was poor guys seven fat thighs and a four by four hoards

[01:17:32] I mean like truly like cellar door level

[01:17:37] that's a better sense and Shakespeare's that rolls from your soul to your top

[01:17:46] is is is truly beautiful it's really not five seven five seven five

[01:17:52] nice brings it all together well five seven fat thighs the the the

[01:17:59] alliteration in the way in which like both were sort of like they they they

[01:18:05] what's it called in music when I don't know the theory term trombojio

[01:18:09] not yet trombo the trombojio well there's that there's was it five five with

[01:18:19] brown eyes is that song five five short five five five five fat thighs yeah is

[01:18:27] there's there's five five there's like a harmonic tension created it sounds

[01:18:33] it's then released by then four foot four by four hose five seven fat five

[01:18:38] seven fat thighs five seven fat thighs with a four by four ho

[01:18:44] I mean four by four the three four inches wide like four inches wide is a

[01:18:51] good size that's a crazy fucking up the walls you know that guy's got a little

[01:18:55] chode yeah but that's he's describing a post-it note that's not a shape or a

[01:19:00] dick it's a it's too yeah but I'm sure plenty when we like to sit on a fat

[01:19:04] little chode and flick their mean some shout shout out to find you just has to

[01:19:08] find the right type of bitch yeah shallow shallow type of bitch well good luck to

[01:19:15] that guy that's what that song from the star is born was about in the shallows

[01:19:19] it's about it a bitch for the shallot yeah you got a small dick and you

[01:19:24] finally found a shallow shallow shallow type of I love bumping up against the

[01:19:28] shallow pussy oh my god it makes me feel awesome makes me feel like Lexington

[01:19:32] Steel

[01:19:35] I'm in the shallow end with my little ends dick that song is mad good yeah

[01:19:44] dude it's a good movie my dick is tiny her pussy of shallow it's a good-ass movie

[01:19:53] and fucking Andrew DICE clays in it what more do you need to know he's a great

[01:19:57] actor he's a good guy it's like a crazy he's one of the past actors the dice man

[01:20:03] dude oh I'm fucking gay over here dude that's the dream guest for this podcast

[01:20:10] we got a nice boy we gotta get him once gotta get the dice man I don't get

[01:20:15] camera I don't think he'd roll we haven't had you know maybe that's what was

[01:20:18] keeping the show going was one celebrity guest a year we should shoot for one

[01:20:23] oh yeah we had David Cross right off the rip Sandra Bullock but then that kind of

[01:20:27] fell through what we lost the file I was like I'm tired of your pussy bitch yeah

[01:20:33] she was like can I please do the show begging underneath I was like bring

[01:20:38] monster garage back then we can then we can talk I'm trying to help then we

[01:20:44] can talk about a bitch really unless unless unless I see your husband

[01:20:50] turning an ice cream truck into a fucking mmm-hmm into a disco until it's a

[01:20:58] mobile disco TECA vis-a-vis ice cream we should get Terence Howard yeah

[01:21:06] asking about his time yes dick yeah and he's like what are you talking about

[01:21:11] what my dick is it all everybody knows you got a smile dick isn't smile my

[01:21:15] dick is in a small line black you're like alright here let's see here is yeah all

[01:21:20] right we all know you're lying well let's go ahead and play the club come on

[01:21:26] main don't do that there's trick photography the director did that he

[01:21:32] photoshopped me because I fucked his wife whoa his wife this is me turning

[01:21:39] the camera Sandra Bullard would you believe it his wife was Sandra and that

[01:21:53] man's wife was Albert Einstein there's a teacher in class and he says he how

[01:22:01] this is a very rowdy class a professor walks in and the students are making

[01:22:06] noise and he picks up his computer his laptop and he smashes it against the

[01:22:12] black boy god there's a drop the hat and he's like oh I got your attention I want

[01:22:17] to tell you about a student was in this class a couple years ago and she wasn't

[01:22:21] you know she struggled to pick up the material she was like you guys gonna

[01:22:25] unfocused and she thought she couldn't do it and she came to my office it was

[01:22:30] near the end she had blown her shot at getting whatever grade point average she

[01:22:36] needed to continue her scholarship here and she said what like I don't I just

[01:22:42] don't get it I don't get I don't know if I'm capable of doing this but like I

[01:22:45] you know how can I get a better grade because she's part of this entitlement

[01:22:48] generation the things right if you just show up did you deserve an A well that's

[01:22:52] not how it works and I started a relationship with and I was having sex

[01:23:00] with her and she got her a and I got mine and that girl's name was Sandra

[01:23:12] just like just bragging to kids the freights that you've been to the public

[01:23:17] when she was a child but the professor at the end is like turning to a camera

[01:23:21] okay today's on somewhere oh I I destroyed my laptop class dismissed class

[01:23:33] dismissed I think we all learned an important lesson which is that I

[01:23:37] fuck sand which is that I fucked Sandra Bullock as a child as a quid pro quo for

[01:23:42] an A to give her an A damn well that's an interesting story about Sandra Bullock

[01:23:49] everyone and enjoy that enjoy your week come see me in Cleveland this

[01:23:54] check out calm.town and check out the Patreon to hear the rest of the

[01:23:59] conversation that led up to this you might want to skip that a man

[01:24:05] a lot of stuff that's not funny to you if you listen to us you're like the show

[01:24:09] is now just evolved into quote-unquote so random comedy yeah it's and it's being

[01:24:16] done sincerely rather than ironically yeah it's it's now it's just as bad as

[01:24:21] everything that Adam stood against when he created the show right what I'm

[01:24:27] executive producer creator at home what I hated most and his creative vision for

[01:24:33] the show when he started the show the first season before main stop joined

[01:24:37] after her right after Tony Braxton and Lance Rhettick

[01:24:54] Lance Rhettick yeah it was Adam Tony Braxton and Lance Rhettick yeah was the

[01:25:01] original pass how many episodes you guys do we called ourselves the not ready for

[01:25:05] primetime players how many episodes you guys did about I think we did three

[01:25:10] seasons 150 episodes each season that's so much more yeah and we had a much bigger

[01:25:17] audience yeah Lance Rhettick is like you know like what if Dennis Blunden from

[01:25:23] head of the class was gay

[01:25:26] what happened to me Brice are just singing her own songs with dick yeah

[01:25:34] she's with but it's gay yeah that was actually a Tony original

[01:25:43] I'm sorry I'm not gay again all right well damn we did way too much did we'll

[01:25:51] take this will be shorter 30 minute episode next

[01:25:56] alright bye I can't believe we got to have a timer this can't help I will set a

[01:25:59] timer from now on all right