Cum Town | Regular | 11/03/2021
[00:00:04] Adam just said something incredibly racist yeah no I didn't
[00:00:07] you really did I said Jigalow and they thought I was gonna say
[00:00:14] yeah I know oh yeah we just said he had word
[00:00:18] yeah because you were a cruise that was so funny dude JP to catch and we got our
[00:00:23] friend JP just penis I don't think we've ever acknowledged this on
[00:00:27] we have a hundred percent but one time oh wait do you cut it out yeah yeah I
[00:00:33] think we're a bit it's been much disgust we were doing say any we were doing a
[00:00:38] fucking I said nothing it sounded like for no reason sounded like I said it was
[00:00:45] out of complete nowhere song lyrics style no no you just said it from what it
[00:00:52] sounded like in a much more reprehensible way but that's it didn't that's not what
[00:00:56] it sounded like you know what I heard you were saying bingo I heard someone say
[00:01:03] say Wigga the other day instead of Wigga and I think it's the inverse of the
[00:01:08] N word where I think if you say with a soft day it's actually sounds it's way
[00:01:12] I was I was arguing as it did the New York and I can see the New York soft day
[00:01:17] inward is actually a different word like etymology
[00:01:20] logically it's a different linguistic well it's short for the Yorker it's
[00:01:27] when you see you see Chinese Chinese you're in the seventh saying he's like yo my
[00:01:32] New Yorker New York is my New Yorker yeah it's like it just turns into that and
[00:01:38] so to get to call it racist it's like you don't know our culture first of all
[00:01:42] you don't yeah you just don't speak the language you're a gentrifier you
[00:01:46] probably wouldn't be saying you weren't here in 2014 when you wasn't there when
[00:01:51] the porn theaters were popping I don't know I was like I mentioned on the show
[00:01:56] when New York yeah you weren't hearing a story before we had a chipotle a couple
[00:02:00] weeks ago eight months ago yeah I was at a coffee shop and like I was already
[00:02:06] inside the coffee shop it was it's a busy place so line goes out the door and the
[00:02:10] door opens and there's this black lady in a white lady arguing already and the
[00:02:16] black lady is black ladies in the name of she's on the phone telling her friend
[00:02:19] with the argument yes she's like she's impatient she don't want to wait for
[00:02:23] no damn line Karen and can start hating the white lady with Karen the white
[00:02:27] lady is like please stop talking to me whatever you can tell from her face it's
[00:02:31] like this woman probably never in her life event this was like she's gonna
[00:02:35] spend years in therapy right because she never considered that she was a
[00:02:40] Karen right she probably spent the last year online retweeting Karen stuff
[00:02:44] a hundred percent and now her just like it's been a time for you yeah yeah it came
[00:02:49] for you thought you was safe and the thing about the thing about you were
[00:02:52] saying the thing about that lady is like she probably is now completely racist
[00:02:58] yeah oh for sure is that now the second a say a black person has any criticism
[00:03:03] yeah they're gone yeah it's it that's it now it's like they were right the whole
[00:03:07] my dad was right yes yes daddy was right about these fucking people and she
[00:03:12] even tried to hit that bitch about like she's like I come here every day and
[00:03:16] the ladies like yeah I've lived here my entire life yeah damn which honestly
[00:03:22] too I don't think the white lady even did anything wrong she just opened the
[00:03:25] door before checking to see if there is a line I see but hey that's what happened
[00:03:31] to the rules and me entirely projecting and assuming you've been retweeting
[00:03:37] Karen stuff for a year she did she was yeah you got to be careful you get
[00:03:42] trapped in those I was in a Burger King where that was very chaotic on Fulton
[00:03:47] and like things were just going to rye and everyone was like like at least 10
[00:03:50] minutes for their food yeah and every like people are starting to get vocal
[00:03:52] right and there's one other white guy in there vocal type and just generally
[00:03:58] there was a cacophony and and this and this the only other white guy that was
[00:04:02] there in the car company with my damn burger at bitch
[00:04:08] it was a large ice kick off the only other white guy and they're like turned to me
[00:04:13] and he's like geez what's going on like don't bring me into this yeah yeah yeah
[00:04:16] we cannot appear to be allies here I learned that lesson for the final time
[00:04:21] like it was probably two years ago there was a there's a black lady on the
[00:04:25] train beating her mentally retarded so like fucking like just be like beating
[00:04:30] and he was like he was like you know he was like this like you know like
[00:04:34] like chicken pot chicken pot like just the most you think you think chicken
[00:04:39] pot pie no I'm doing the David Cross from just you know like the kid was
[00:04:45] just he was just sweet let and she's on her phone she's like you got pick your
[00:04:49] son up I'm not fucking but like taking his neck and this is like a 10 year old
[00:04:53] boy taking his neck and slamming his head against the window no and you know
[00:04:58] it's all I got over the cross train I'm like man please you know it's like and
[00:05:03] then she's yelling me and fucking you know you know just like well you think
[00:05:07] you're gonna save the day fuck you know like doing the way guy thing and it's
[00:05:11] like all I can do because like what's gonna happen is somebody's gonna call
[00:05:13] the police right you know and then they're gonna put him in yeah retort foster care
[00:05:19] yeah so I was just like I was like I'm not trying to tell you what to do just
[00:05:23] like you know like there's any you need help it's like what's going on you know
[00:05:28] and it didn't go anywhere and it's like this is she's just gonna go beat that
[00:05:32] kid later yeah even more probably good that you did something I mean there's
[00:05:35] gonna be backlash every time you know I in retrospect it's like yeah you just
[00:05:40] gotta yeah fucking there was this guy I was on the G a few months ago and like
[00:05:44] this guy just was blocking the doors and preventing them from closing he's like
[00:05:47] what's the next stop what any like leans over to some teenage kid gets right in
[00:05:51] his face like what's the next stop and I was like there's a map right over there
[00:05:55] and he turns around at me and he's got a karate gi on
[00:06:00] he's like he's like good get outside get out get off of the next stop we're
[00:06:04] gonna fight yeah this even said oh yeah yeah fucking gi on
[00:06:09] was it where she was I believe he was wearing I think it was in Philly like
[00:06:18] some guy raped a woman for eight minutes on the train and it's like what kind of
[00:06:21] people would just sit there and watch that happen most people it's like well
[00:06:24] yeah that's wrong the correct answer though is not the intervene it's to go
[00:06:28] through the cool doors and go to the next step yeah it's time to go to the
[00:06:34] to use to go through the bathroom yeah and to you know hopefully that does
[00:06:40] feel awesome I love when two guys are fighting so I get to use those doors
[00:06:44] yeah or when a homeless person homeless person smells particularly
[00:06:49] ripe yeah you know that's crazy when you walk into an empty subway car and you
[00:06:54] realize why it's empty why it's empty happens to one time the the trend the
[00:07:00] funniest training that ever happened to me is you know how sometimes you'll get
[00:07:03] a guy wrapping really loudly to himself two of those guys got on at the same
[00:07:08] time and it was it was literally like one guy was like shut up the other guy was
[00:07:13] like shut up and they were just like both wrapping louder until they were
[00:07:16] literally fucking each other up they were beating the absolute fucking shit out
[00:07:21] of each other don't jump on another man's verse and exactly it was literally like
[00:07:25] that and I was like I was one of the best things I was like junkie on the
[00:07:29] train and like just nodding off but he had headphones on he was like dude like
[00:07:35] he was like starting from a bomb over here
[00:07:43] and he kept sinking lower and lower as he's saying yeah the rest of us staying up
[00:07:48] on the train yeah yeah they have perfect balance yeah they have some sort of
[00:07:52] equilibrium where they can just teeter to almost completely you can really
[00:07:58] see like how the Nazis made that drug it does seem engineered to create a type
[00:08:02] of super they do heroin they invented heroin they were bad guys yeah they were
[00:08:07] big guys but the so my the two wrapping guys on the train that I was in they were
[00:08:12] fucking each other up and then just like the coolest looking like just like mid
[00:08:19] like 50s black guy that look he basically like common yeah bald light skin black
[00:08:25] guy with like an awesome beer like Microsoft a he did he just like fucking
[00:08:30] talk them both down and then he completely diffused the situation and then
[00:08:34] one guy just fucking sucker-punch the other guy and knocked him straight out and
[00:08:38] just left it ran out the doors that's why you got a lock eyes or anyone you have
[00:08:43] any kind of conflict with on the train yeah yeah I did see actual common on
[00:08:47] McDougall Street oh wow and there was a nerdy white guy like following him down
[00:08:52] the street telling him how lyrical he was oh that's so awesome very on brand
[00:08:56] that's fucking the best thing I saw in the train recently I took a picture of
[00:09:00] the guy which I very I didn't I feel like creep chatting is okay posting is no but
[00:09:04] yeah friends just for the fellow there's a guy diffuse balding comb over
[00:09:11] television writer's body awesome like a perfect so hot as shit yeah just you
[00:09:16] know like just like so you poured him into absolutely no muscle on his you know
[00:09:20] just like an aunts arms just a guy just all like so fucking lasagna arms yeah
[00:09:28] I'm trying to remember what book he was reading he had a shirt on I said this is
[00:09:31] what a sex worker looks like no he's a sex worker and yeah it's in the
[00:09:36] shirt so this is awesome and then let me I sent a guy selling Busy I got a baby
[00:09:41] is the book that he was reading what if he sucks awesome cock what did you put
[00:09:46] your cock near that guy's mouth it just feels the best it's ever felt in your
[00:09:49] life yeah he's like the super head of the Harper lampoon yeah the book the
[00:09:57] book was like modern masculinity or something so sick yeah the guy the whole
[00:10:01] complete package that's so awesome please give me pussy package this is what a
[00:10:06] sex worker looks like because you know that the shirt is supposed to be in
[00:10:10] solidarity with sex workers that he stands up for it's like an I'm Spartacus
[00:10:14] and if the sex workers see that like you change you know on something else yeah
[00:10:18] you're embarrassing no yeah that was so funny whatever we're going to some like
[00:10:29] we're going to the Jane hotel we're going to La Bayne Nick and I like both wearing
[00:10:34] backpacks like like you know like leaving an open mic we meet up my friend Eric
[00:10:39] from college waste yeah and it's like the train the trains packs and there's
[00:10:44] like this girl that's like just this like Brighton Beach fucking just sex
[00:10:49] traffic like you're like a Canadian like a denim fringe mini skirt and fucking
[00:10:56] Eric just kind of leads over to a role drunk on the train and he's like where's
[00:10:59] the party at not a response you are police he takes me they pissed about the
[00:11:10] MLB playoffs oh yeah I'm sick of these fucking big-market teams dude basically
[00:11:17] those fucking Dodgers and Houston interesting Bob interestingly Bob
[00:11:20] baseball is actually gay so I don't care I'm done with baseball forever and plus
[00:11:27] that yeah the Astros although I do respect them just cheating and just
[00:11:31] getting to fuck I don't respect that it's pretty funny I mean yeah fuck them I'm
[00:11:34] not paying attention until the Yankees rehire Costanza who should be an era of
[00:11:39] just like really massive cheating like on a steroids level but with like
[00:11:44] signals and stuff is the best area but that's the thing if you're gonna cheat
[00:11:48] but you're man and get jack yeah cheating would be like cheating would be
[00:11:51] a different kind of awesome you know what I mean if there was like spies yeah
[00:11:56] yeah yeah yeah you know you trying to the honeypot frequencies are only
[00:12:01] audible is that's what the fucking yeah like dogs ears like they're banging
[00:12:09] on trash cans yeah they had a trash can they had like some yeah they were
[00:12:12] what happened was they got busted using this technology but they probably
[00:12:16] investigated and found out that the rest of the league was probably involved in
[00:12:19] similar stuff so they just dropped it they had enough dirt on other teams and
[00:12:22] it was like I was like you guys cheat but they were just the most brazen about
[00:12:26] it yeah they probably the worst at it they they got caught I mean they won the
[00:12:29] world series there's no way that little fuck knew that a raw this
[00:12:34] chad was gonna throw slider on that last yes yeah didn't didn't there's something
[00:12:39] where he wouldn't take a shirt off yeah when you come into home he's like yeah
[00:12:43] yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
[00:12:44] and he came up with some ridiculous I was like no I have a tattoo I have a swan
[00:12:47] second tattoo yeah why I really into American history acts yeah yeah yeah
[00:12:53] I know the tattoo I watched American history X before I was familiar with
[00:12:57] World War II I just got a cool tattoo I thought I would have been with sick
[00:13:01] I'm gonna get it that's the best thing about baseball is that it's all like
[00:13:04] just like fat mega farm boys yeah and then like passionate Latin men like
[00:13:10] borderline like like like dandy but like yeah still very hungry for pussy oh
[00:13:18] yeah yeah yeah yeah oh kind of man I respect it's a great two groups being
[00:13:24] crammed into the same sport and then a Japanese guy with a transler and then a
[00:13:28] couple Japanese guys yeah shout out to Tony I guys cool I fuck with that guy you
[00:13:34] remember when who's the pitcher for the Yankees the David Wells the Japanese
[00:13:41] dude yeah Japanese guy they were he wrote no polishing letter in the New York
[00:13:45] times what he got hurt today on no no he's a Dodger Tanaka Tanaka yeah yeah
[00:13:51] it's a knock at the gate to get surgery and he wrote it on his own room yeah I've
[00:14:01] that guy really yeah dude the Yang's had a couple they always these these to
[00:14:06] always get a couple Japanese guys they would they pay them way too much money
[00:14:09] yeah they would bust they would almost always bust it's not as good though
[00:14:12] China's got baseball now they do yeah yeah I watch out I think maybe they had it
[00:14:18] and they got rid of it because it wasn't popular yeah well the Beijing for now
[00:14:23] they realize they could take basketball from America they could probably take
[00:14:26] baseball to what kind of sports do the Chinese play karate well they're like
[00:14:30] gymnastics I guess all their fucking I say get ping pong all the shit that they
[00:14:35] win the gold medals for right there was a flipping my thing is pretty sweet left
[00:14:39] things good I went to the when I went to the Olympics in an 04 in Athens what I
[00:14:44] went to see ping pong those guys were fucking sick with it yeah oh jealous there
[00:14:48] was something did was the Olympics this year yeah yeah there was that one clip
[00:14:52] from ping pong that was insane did you see that yeah running all over the room
[00:14:56] but I mean it was like an insane volley yeah they're on opposite like from they're
[00:15:01] both like perpendicular to the 40 feet away yeah but on the sides yeah yeah
[00:15:07] and this is spinning and shit is so fucking sick I wish I was as good as
[00:15:12] anything that those motherfuckers are ping pong yeah literally anything like
[00:15:17] even like putting my shoes on yeah yeah yeah they're fucking so vaults with that
[00:15:20] shit fuck dude if you're just joining us so you can turn the podcast off yeah
[00:15:28] you go ahead and this is the we talk about China this is for white men
[00:15:33] remembering baseball it which is gay I hate baseball let's remember something
[00:15:38] else well synchronized swimming that was a big this year that's a Tokyo
[00:15:46] one bucks it was huge this year it was Tokyo right it was yeah yeah you know I
[00:15:52] always thought was weird about Japan they got Tokyo they got into the place
[00:15:55] called Kyoto yep where they just rearranged the fuck that's true yeah it's
[00:15:59] like you but you got instead of Boston you got what York new
[00:16:03] stonob you got stonob stonob yeah that'd be a place people could live all we got
[00:16:10] Boston and Austin very similar in that regard city where they like hate straight
[00:16:14] people yeah I guess you could say that the sky like pussy kid we're not that
[00:16:21] different yeah some kind of fucking quit what are you you want to fucking suck
[00:16:26] plates yeah yeah I'm still not straight walk by with your 14 you never lick
[00:16:33] the man's ass you've never heard of a fucking rave you've never been to a
[00:16:39] fucking rave before yo this fucking this fucking hetero has never heard of a
[00:16:42] hundred gax I thought this guys never drank calm before by the time I was 12
[00:16:47] I'd seen mindless self-indulgence 15 times a blue eight guys
[00:16:52] fuck no more oh I'm not struck your cock I'm not straight I'm not straight
[00:17:00] bro I got hard opinions on line of del Rey yeah yeah I'm a Bob kid we covered
[00:17:07] her I'm a fucking Bob she's she's gotten fat has she yeah this is a celebrity
[00:17:13] God damn what a just what a fucking how dare she podcast got real but I've I've
[00:17:18] gone on record and said I was still fuck her yeah just that very hot woman you
[00:17:22] would have sex yeah she's got a dad put on like five pounds she's got a dad
[00:17:27] body's her she's part of the pussy posse
[00:17:31] damn you know what the pussy 24 year old women that would be sick the pussy
[00:17:35] posse should have a lesbian in the mix you know Ellen the generous yeah she
[00:17:41] dresses kind of like to be yeah same build you think you think they fucked
[00:17:46] girls at the same time think Toby and Leo we're all fucking and David Blaine
[00:17:50] we're all I for towering they didn't have the balls to run a train I don't think
[00:17:54] I don't think they were that close no blame no that Blaine was just appearing
[00:17:59] while they were fucking someone oh he would just fucking apparate yeah now I
[00:18:03] got a really the David Blaine videos like a month ago he's the best yeah at
[00:18:07] magic and I said this on the show I think I can beat his breath holding
[00:18:12] record what is it I think it's like eight minutes no it's six he only did so he's
[00:18:17] under water though yeah don't Navy seals do for a long time three to four minutes
[00:18:22] I looked it up interesting I could definitely compete to Navy I've done
[00:18:25] three minutes I think it's because your brain doesn't need that much oxygen you
[00:18:28] could just go dude you just shut your shit off some of his shit I'm like a
[00:18:33] I'm like a fly you put in the freezer that's right and you just reanimate yeah
[00:18:38] I'm tired string just in there but thinking about shit waiting till my blood
[00:18:42] freezes yeah that's how you can do all that David Goggins stuff like he's a
[00:18:46] Navy's they just turn your brain off mm-hmm yeah the big the bit of the fucking
[00:18:50] more of a retort you are the easier it is to not to do shit like that that's
[00:18:53] the whole point of that training instead it's not to make you a better athlete
[00:18:56] or anything just to like break you down yeah whatever we say like kill whoever
[00:19:00] we want to kill my favorite part of the Navy seals training is when they make
[00:19:03] them sit on the beach during high tide with their legs up so that the
[00:19:08] water goes into their asshole kid I'm about to be the Navy seals kid sounds
[00:19:13] fucking awesome fill me up with saltwater kid it's called whole survivor
[00:19:21] game they play it's a vital skill all right private now you're gonna suck the
[00:19:26] water out of my ass I've heard in college is in real that that book like
[00:19:30] low and survivor or whatever the kids like oh dude this book is so sick you
[00:19:33] got to read it it's really fucking funny it's a guy who got captured and didn't
[00:19:37] really do anything's like Courtney Courtney Fierrington was reading it in
[00:19:40] an open mic yeah he's Jack he can set out the court he served he's also a veteran
[00:19:46] yeah true he's a US Marshall he works at Marshall's a Marine no I mean now
[00:19:50] oh now his job in New York you know because we know him from DC yeah but I'm
[00:19:55] pretty sure his job here was he worked for the US Marshall oh interesting
[00:19:58] maybe not as a Marshall but with the Marshall sir pretty sick a job you and
[00:20:01] you and Tommy Lee Jones we're gonna suck every asshole every every
[00:20:06] person who is named is Courtney Fierrington he does open my watch in DC
[00:20:11] New York City find out everything you know about him but what was I saying
[00:20:15] oh the the Navy Seal thing was like my friends like oh he got to read this
[00:20:18] book it's so sick it's like he talks about like how he got kidnapped and he
[00:20:22] was looking at stuff in the room that he could use to like take out the other
[00:20:25] guys like did he do that yeah no right he just got you just wait he got captured
[00:20:30] and he didn't break out yeah correct so he just got you just got returned to
[00:20:34] where was he in Bosnia or something Afghanistan Afghanistan oh well damn he
[00:20:39] was a real tactical yeah guy well cuz fucking Mark Wohlberg had to make that
[00:20:44] move had to make like veteran movies after he had that faux pas by saying he
[00:20:49] would have stopped 9-11 yeah and that's when he stopped making you know he was
[00:20:55] right regular times he absolutely would have stopped I'm sure he would wait wait
[00:20:59] was that the terrorists would have been taking pictures of Mark Wohlberg I'd
[00:21:02] have forgotten to do 9-11 yeah if you have any doubt in your mind that in in
[00:21:08] the fucking Al Qaeda training camp they're not just like relistening to the
[00:21:12] Mel Gibson voicemail watching Mark Wohlberg movies they're having a blast
[00:21:21] yeah do the Taliban those pictures of them having fun yeah it's it's the
[00:21:26] happiest I've been in like last six months doing really bad yeah seeing them
[00:21:30] not know how to go after the Afghanistan pull out people like oh this is gonna
[00:21:35] cost by the election it's like now literally no one gives a fuck no no
[00:21:39] cares at all but yet there's still coverage it's like women in Afghanistan
[00:21:45] fighting to further rights was like yeah good luck with that we'll see how
[00:21:52] that goes I wouldn't put my money on the women that one yeah not listen
[00:21:58] I'm going Taliban I'm taking the Taliban money long
[00:22:01] on that one you want to have your own 20 year war yeah Mark Wohlberg should make
[00:22:06] a movie where he's a woman in Afghanistan you're saying I gotta cover my pussy
[00:22:12] up you say I'm not allowed to show my pussy in the fucking market anymore
[00:22:19] I'm trying to show my fucking pussy off at the market they're trying to say that
[00:22:24] we can't lean in yeah fuck these queers I used to be the CEO of Bumble
[00:22:29] you want to stand bro I'm a fucking girl boss now I'm now I'm married to a guy
[00:22:35] with Down syndrome that owns an AK-47 we're gonna run opium over the water to
[00:22:41] we got the funds to take on these guys that would be fucking sick dude he is a
[00:22:47] pretty guy yeah he's too jacked he's like too jacked for the length of his arms
[00:22:52] yeah he looks kind of inflated that's true you're saying his arms are too
[00:22:56] short yeah I think he looks good I think he looks perfect personally I also
[00:23:04] like I think he looks I think that's a good that's a perfect proportions that
[00:23:07] somebody could have the John Cena type yeah the Taliban got to be way into
[00:23:13] fast and furious I could see yeah super into this they're all about family
[00:23:18] too yeah I saw a guy driving the street with a charger the other day and on
[00:23:22] this idea decal that said Torino hell yeah her Toretto hell yeah you see
[00:23:30] Vin Diesel walked Paul Walker's daughter daughter down the aisle and it was
[00:23:36] everything he drove her down the aisle this is hand coming out of a super
[00:23:42] driving down the aisle I didn't have a fiery crash I don't get sued but
[00:23:46] apparently homosexual who Vin Diesel apparently is good others have a leg
[00:23:51] when you say I mean that guy is gay we say apparently do you mean because you
[00:23:55] fucked your ass he's like the straightest guy I've ever seen I don't know they
[00:24:00] gay guys could drive far no duties just fancy why would why would a gay guy be
[00:24:06] into that a bustling guy wearing a wife beat her just oiled up well that
[00:24:12] person is lips at the camera yeah that video of him singing Rihanna is
[00:24:16] beautiful have you seen the video they got him discovered by Spielberg no he
[00:24:22] drops it he drops a hard F in there no he does what figure with the
[00:24:27] photo you know with the the gay seller and does this monologue from this thing
[00:24:33] that he wrote where he plays like an Italian stereotypes so you know so I
[00:24:36] get in this fight the other real quick did he write boiler room no yeah was
[00:24:42] that it he was like a one-act thing that he wrote now the movie boiler
[00:24:46] I don't think so I think maybe the guy who wrote boiler room
[00:24:50] where it's a Spielberg discovered Spielberg saw this videos like I got to
[00:24:54] have this guy and save in private Ryan really really and it's I'll share the
[00:24:58] video somewhere but it's like a hilarious I started watching fan the
[00:25:01] brothers again that was good show yeah I used to watch it like once a year but
[00:25:06] I've been following up put the first episode I'm on yelled at me because I was
[00:25:09] watching better brothers in a sex scene came on not really seminal moment yeah
[00:25:13] that the one with Tom Hardy where he's fucking the some some farm girl yeah
[00:25:18] North France or whatever Tom Hardy's Tom Hardy's in that show just getting
[00:25:22] pussy for a minute yes that's all he is really he's not that Jack either yeah
[00:25:27] before he got his first big role was a star I nemesis oh he was the bad guy yeah
[00:25:34] he played like Prador what's his name rings on I forget he's when he was young
[00:25:39] he had just big lips he looked gay as hell yeah she's giving she's my space
[00:25:44] his my space pics are awesome dude he straight up with you like from above
[00:25:49] from above and he's like ass cheeks are out he just looked like it looks like a
[00:25:52] gay thought that he start like popping off of my space was you know I think
[00:25:57] he was just found his he was the dane cook was he like X-raw Tom Hardy
[00:26:03] XX he also had like he was alternating upper case lowercase well he was he
[00:26:12] had he had fucking Ed Hardy and then Hardy like hat like one of those diamondy
[00:26:17] fucking hats are they family yeah I think so yeah have you seen the thing that
[00:26:23] from 2010 Tom Hardy I'm an actor of course I've had gay sex
[00:26:30] that rule I'm gonna start saying when asked me ever had sex I'm an actor I've
[00:26:36] had gay sex with men Tom reply of course I have I'm an actor for fuck's
[00:26:41] sake I've played every I've played with everything and everyone I love the form
[00:26:46] and the physicality but now that I'm in my 30s it doesn't do it for me I'm done
[00:26:50] experimenting but there's plenty of stuff in a relationship with another man
[00:26:53] especially gay men that I need in my life a lot of gay men get my thing get my
[00:26:59] thing for shoes I have a definite feminine qualities and I've game our
[00:27:03] incredibly masculine respect a lot of people shit God fucking damn it Adam you
[00:27:08] gonna talk about because you dream if if you're the sponsor listening to check
[00:27:13] to see if we forgot to read we didn't stop listening no I'm not
[00:27:18] fucking I'm not doing a lot of people say I see masculine but I don't feel it I
[00:27:21] feel intrinsically feminine I'd love to be one of the boys but I always felt a
[00:27:25] bit on the outside maybe my masculine qualities come from overcompensating
[00:27:29] because I'm not one of the boys with this I think he did this interview while
[00:27:33] trying to cycle off after making Bronson yeah he did yeah so the estrogen's
[00:27:38] really coming back yeah his trend was yeah that movies badass he looks fucking
[00:27:45] hot that's the kind of body I want to look like Bronson do so we got to
[00:27:50] dream about 10 15 minutes she dreams offers a full lineup of premium
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[00:28:10] stops that I have to say it at the end yeah you don't want to step on that line
[00:28:14] yeah it's all good I'm gay it's true you're kind of like Tom Hardy yeah
[00:28:21] exactly I'm exactly like I when he was talking about I'm not exactly like
[00:28:25] parties only in the way that I'm exactly that he's of course fucked man and it's
[00:28:31] too late other than that you're not like him at all I said you're kind of like
[00:28:36] you remind me of Tom that's what's on the record you said your mind you're I
[00:28:40] was admired you because you remind me I never said I admired even I'm jealous
[00:28:44] of you and I admire you it looks like I am jealous of how free you are with
[00:28:50] your sexuality you know even though I'm straight there's certain aspects of my
[00:28:55] straight sexuality I don't I feel like I'm on the ground yeah yeah when you gay
[00:29:00] are very free you come again come again go ahead Adam it looks like high quality
[00:29:09] marijuana and it feels like high quality marijuana and it tastes like
[00:29:12] high quality marijuana but the CBD content is up to 20% which is the highest
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[00:29:34] purity shit and it's she put a little jwada okay yeah it's kind of it's grown in
[00:29:39] California and Oregon each plan is hand selected by a team of experienced
[00:29:43] cannabis flower experts it's an alternative for people looking to cut back
[00:29:47] on smoking other things not that you are but imagine that you're getting paid
[00:29:51] to do this yeah yeah imagine there's money on the line if you don't do a good
[00:29:55] job you don't get just in your head let me do it as Tom Hardy in Bronson yeah in
[00:30:00] your head imagine the cash register noises from the beginning of the pink
[00:30:04] Floyd song okay it makes as well with other things you can smoke each batch
[00:30:12] of slow-care mix as well with other things you can't as well with other things you
[00:30:18] can smoke each batch of slow-care for two to four you really adopted if you don't
[00:30:24] beat your meat you can't have any pussy that was it right yeah if you can you
[00:30:32] have your pussy if you don't beat your meat yeah that's the guard guy yeah
[00:30:36] John please two to four weeks to guarantee maximum freshness and preserve
[00:30:42] flavor in cannabinoid they take an artisan approach I love that it's like
[00:30:47] hot off an artisan approach it's all organic they come okay so basically guys
[00:30:53] they come in three lines and also call an atom's face no that's not what it's
[00:30:57] got the sponsors that raped Adam they did rape Adam I'll do it I'm a team
[00:31:01] player I met the guys it because from because you dreams in Phoenix and they
[00:31:05] were very complimentary about your asshole and they said it felt the most
[00:31:09] like a pussy that they had ever felt yeah well it's because I do a little do a
[00:31:14] little makeup job yeah you do it's very lippy yeah yeah yeah Adam's Adam's
[00:31:22] big lady got it got a pussy installed no it's so loose it's like the ring looks
[00:31:31] like lips no it's actually it's an incredibly expensive procedure I want to
[00:31:34] tie with my mother on top of all the rejuvenations yeah the bad
[00:31:39] rejuvenation yeah we got yeah we got a pussy did you take some balls get in
[00:31:43] make pussy lips with it and glue it to your ass
[00:31:47] zapped back into shape anyway there are three lines private reserve ultra
[00:32:08] assistant Fritz thanks it's Halloween again we've got to win this comes out
[00:32:13] but fucking yeah we forgot about monster mesh oh yeah the greatest the best one
[00:32:20] we've ever done that is true let me finish real quick yeah that's what he said
[00:32:25] to you yeah that's so you can get in a can which is nitrogen sealed in 3.5
[00:32:33] grams for and it's sealed for optimal fresh hands suck my dick yeah you can
[00:32:37] mix it with anything else you like to smoke can do that and there are six
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[00:32:45] hustle energy and dream in addition to those they have the one gram pre-rolls
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[00:33:02] first order smoke your CBD because you can well that's cushy dreams dot com
[00:33:09] promo code come town you nailed that last part thanks dude and that's the
[00:33:13] read and that's the read and if you're looking to have sex with Adam's ass you
[00:33:19] go to cushy dreams dot com slash come town slash Adam's ass and if you're
[00:33:25] looking to come see some live stand-up comedy what you're gonna want to do is
[00:33:28] come to fucking Detroit this week or the Saturday or Columbus this Sunday and
[00:33:34] then on the 10th here in New York City I will be doing a fucking beautiful fuck
[00:33:43] at my hour at the New York Comedy Festival and then New Orleans then Tampa
[00:33:48] and I think Los Angeles coming up little tease for you guys look at look out I
[00:33:53] can't confirm it yet as of this recording but maybe by the time it comes
[00:33:57] out we'll be in LA and then Boston and then there's also patreon.com slash
[00:34:04] com patron that comes to come down for shorts which is now gone which does not
[00:34:09] exist to the shop is gone until I can figure out how to fucking some so you
[00:34:18] get to check that out also to little tease we we have a guest coming up this
[00:34:23] Sunday that we think you're really gonna like little teas is what they call me
[00:34:27] because my little testicles. That's what they call you know the little little teas
[00:34:30] I'm so playful because you have that big JP you probably have we talked about
[00:34:35] this little off mic probably a skinny long penis. Incredible long incredibly
[00:34:38] skinny. It was so a little must. It's like a capri cigarette. They call it a
[00:34:46] Corella DeVille. I'll hit the back walls but not either side. Yeah yeah yeah.
[00:34:54] You'll hit one small point of the back walls like a laser. You having sex is
[00:35:00] like a capri sun straw going into fucking capri sun. It's like a procedure it's
[00:35:04] like a laparoscopic type of thing. Yeah if a bitch has a assist at the back of
[00:35:11] her pussy JP's the guy. Yeah it's like watching like a taper you get. She doesn't
[00:35:20] know what's in until it hits your stomach. That's awesome. It's just coming out of her nose.
[00:35:24] He's like whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo.
[00:35:28] It never hits anything at all size. That's awesome man. That's good for you. That's cool.
[00:35:36] So yeah I beat it up. Yeah yeah. David Blaine. That pussy up. David Blaine fan of mine. He came to
[00:35:42] my first TV thing. I did really the famous Comedy Central roast battle and he was at
[00:35:48] the tape. Was he like hey really good job. He did. He tapped me on the arm and I
[00:35:52] went by. I didn't know he was there. He's very good. Did he do a trick? He
[00:35:57] didn't do a trick but then it was like oh I'll look the other way on your sexual assault.
[00:36:02] Oh yeah I can't I can't lose that name. I can't get set. Then he walks outside directly into
[00:36:10] traffic and gets creamed by a bus. He's like you're like I want you to see that once you're
[00:36:14] live. I don't see that again. He comes out. My balls hanging out of his head and surprise
[00:36:20] bitch. This is my new trick. Yeah being killed. He seems like he's near suicide at all. Just
[00:36:28] him on Fifth Avenue. He's just a Vaseline is ass sitting down on a fire hydrant and then
[00:36:33] just black people be like oh my god. It's like three quarters of the way down. He's like
[00:36:40] you're push my head push my head down. Push the fire hydrant all the way up my ass.
[00:36:44] Like yo shit yo look you got the whole thing up in my fucking head. He got his cheeks on
[00:36:50] the sidewalk. Shit. Shit. Shit. Fuck my fucking fire from my ass. That would be awesome.
[00:36:58] I really do envy his his universal acceptance by black people. Of course you're going to
[00:37:03] that's all you see when you're watching the plane. I respect magic so much. Adam's Adam's
[00:37:08] on Amazon looking at magic kits. Yeah. Look at fitted hats and magic kits. That's that's
[00:37:14] act two after this podcast is over. Yeah I'm getting a take talk. I'm going to start like
[00:37:18] a lot of this stuff David Blaine. The card tricks I'll never know. I can't even shuffle
[00:37:23] cards but jamming a knife through my own hand. Yeah that's just endurance stuff. I could get
[00:37:28] there. You definitely could actually. I believe that you should just start doing shit like
[00:37:32] that. I should do just stabbing myself in front of Ricky Gervais. I'm like check this out.
[00:37:39] No. It looks like it's really going in your body. Oh it's making me more of an atheist.
[00:37:48] Did you have a video where you say let me ask you Ricky do they have fire hydrants in
[00:37:53] Britain. We call them wet willies. Check this out. What's that? What's that you're doing?
[00:38:01] Oh shit. Oh he's put the wet willy in his bum. Yeah he's been sitting down in the install
[00:38:06] the whole time and they just shits the fire hydrant he like slides up it. He just gets
[00:38:10] just slates off of it. And it doesn't end like at the end like you know it's just like
[00:38:16] Kanye just like shaking his head when he's like all the way down on the sidewalk and
[00:38:19] David Blaine's like you might give him a hand and then he goes like Kanye like takes his
[00:38:23] hand and he gets up and the fire hydrant's gone. It's gone. Where did it go? And there's
[00:38:28] like this sidewalks perfectly paved. And there's just a little bit of wet cement on the back
[00:38:32] of David Blaine's pants. He gets rid of the fire hydrant and paves over the sidewalk.
[00:38:40] And he writes Kanye and Kim 2005 with a heart over it and then it's been but it's been there
[00:38:45] for 20 years somehow. That's awesome. I did that for you. Kiss it. Kiss the kiss Robert
[00:38:52] didn't he like throw up a photo of his dad mom after he kisses it. Yeah. Oh shit. All
[00:38:56] right. P Donda. Trying to get. Was she was trying to get her titties done in Mexico or
[00:39:01] something? Yeah. Like what happened? Yeah it was it was bad plastic sir. Don de Kong
[00:39:06] all right. No sounds like Don Quixon sounds like Don Quixon sounds like Don Quixon sounds
[00:39:11] like I'm not saying anything. It just sounds like well that's not. Is that a joke? Rivers
[00:39:18] too? Like she was getting new eyelids put on or something and she died. Oh really? Yeah
[00:39:22] probably anesthesiologist fucked up or something like that. Allegedly allegedly. I don't know
[00:39:26] how to get sued. Don't get a sued here by the anesthesiologist that killed Joan River.
[00:39:31] You fucking piece of shit. It's him and Vin Diesel gonna be pissed after this episode.
[00:39:37] Yeah. Oh I'm sorry I'm an anesthesiologist. I put that ass out of your sleep. I usually
[00:39:43] work with get this my man eating pain because I'm my job is to put things in my ass. Oh wait
[00:39:50] that's his job. Yeah. Okay. Nice. He went to the actual school for it. Yeah. That's also
[00:39:56] the type of dog. Adam would you consider becoming an anesthesiologist? Oh I mean I would love
[00:40:00] to get my M.D. after the show. I'm trying to work for the Long Island Railroad. I talked
[00:40:07] to it by talking to my dad's friend. Union job. We took a car ride 12 hours each way.
[00:40:11] We didn't listen to the radio the whole time. We just talked. It was great. And we talked
[00:40:14] mostly about the railroad. It sounds like that's awesome place to work. It is like I'm
[00:40:18] going to set you straight JP. I'm giving you putting you in a railroad trip. Funniest guy
[00:40:24] I've ever maybe ever known including. Yeah that's who the funniest people in the world
[00:40:27] are. It's like union rail workers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Truly. I was on the fucking Amtrak.
[00:40:33] And there was a guy who worked for Amtrak who was going home to fucking like Trent or New
[00:40:38] Work or some just you know one of those awful Jersey towns. And he looked like imagine if
[00:40:43] like Artie didn't take care of himself. Artie went out all this. This fucking guy is sitting
[00:40:51] there on the fucking truck. And his he's just saw fat and disgusting and he's wearing his
[00:40:55] workshirt that had a whole like ripped. Like just yeah. Ripped completely out. He's sitting
[00:41:01] there reading the New York Post yelling at like this other guy works. I fucking told
[00:41:05] them I'm not fucking doing that shit. I tried to tell them to tell me I got another shirt.
[00:41:08] I'm not fucking kidding. Yeah. Go for yeah. Exactly. And then he gets up and his fucking
[00:41:12] ass ripped the cushion off the seat. Just like I've watched his ass just like pulled
[00:41:19] it. It was in the cafe car too. This guy. This guy Rick who worked for the railroad. I might
[00:41:24] have told you this already. Real quick to before I forget. Yes. Adam has something else he
[00:41:29] wants. What is about? What do you mean what? About what? About super organics. Super
[00:41:35] again. Wait, wait, wait, wait. I don't think I've completely fucked this up. I think last
[00:41:39] week because that was last week. So what we need to do now is talk about blue chew. And
[00:41:45] then again, we're going to have to talk about Ridge wallet. So we're going to. So we're going
[00:41:49] to be dreaming about we're doing a week. That's okay, man. Hey, listen, cushy dreams. That
[00:41:53] one's on the house. Yeah. Because your dreams gets a free one. Blue chew. Blue chew. This
[00:41:59] episode of com town is sponsored by blue chew. Say with us blue chew. Blue chew is making waves
[00:42:06] and bringing more confidence in the bedroom by offering chewable tablets that can help
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[00:42:16] the same active ingredients as what stuff. Seattle's and that's right. But in chewable
[00:42:23] form, which that's my biggest of the cost. My one of my biggest problems with my agrancy
[00:42:28] also backed me up here. It's not a food is that it's not a food. Yeah, it's not chewable.
[00:42:32] And the cost is too much. It just it takes so little blood to get my incredibly skinny
[00:42:38] penis. I'm not even familiar with these drugs. Oh, yeah, yeah, a mosquito would not even
[00:42:45] feel anything. You would miss. You would miss. You got to start juicing, dude. Yeah, we got
[00:42:52] to see that skinny little prick hardest. Fuck. I'm getting a widening like a pencil. Yeah,
[00:42:56] that'd be maybe if I maybe if I took a blue chew chewable. Yeah, if you did, I can't my
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[00:43:29] medical providers work with you to find the right ingredient and strength for your prescription.
[00:43:33] Don't like swallowing pills. No problems here. So basically they have s
[00:43:15] still dana fill and to dala fill, right? And the tablets are chewable. That's right. They're
[00:43:45] made in the US and they prepare to directly to you. And it's so it's cheaper than going
[00:43:50] to the pharmacy. Right. Great. So here's the deal, guys. You try fucking blue chew free
[00:43:58] when you use our promo code to check out comtown. It's just $5 shipping. That's blue chew.com
[00:44:03] promo code comtown. You receive your first month free. And we thank blue chew for sponsoring
[00:44:09] so much the podcast. We thank you, blue chew. Thank you so much. I think it's a great product
[00:44:14] that can give you a little bit of extra confidence. I think blue chew not only for sponsoring
[00:44:19] us, but for existing. Yes, making my dick. Because look, I was I was being pretty healthy
[00:44:24] during the pandemic JPL. I'm wait. Yeah, great. I'm back. Thank you. I'm back on the road.
[00:44:30] I have been eating like shit. My dick is not working like a used to chief. Now that I got
[00:44:35] these fucking pills, I swallow them up. My dick is buried in Arlington. So yeah, two of the
[00:44:42] unknown sold. Yeah, the grave of the confederate soldier. The tomb of the unmeasurable because
[00:44:48] it's too small soldier. No, yes. You said you said everyone heard him say he agreed. That
[00:44:55] was a that was a agreement. I will see about that agreement. They call the song Dixie because
[00:45:08] it's about Nick's penis. That's right. A little Dixie. Little bit of the unmeasurable soldier.
[00:45:14] First of all, bitch, my dick is small. My dick whimsical. My dick is got a playful man.
[00:45:24] Time. My dick got a wild imagination. This show used to be funny years ago. I know years
[00:45:32] and years and years ago. I know. Now it's all like Harvey Kitell. What's that guy up to?
[00:45:38] I don't fucking know. I saw his cock one time. It was pretty big. Oh wait, what are we talking
[00:45:44] about? Fucking super organics. Ridge wallet. Did you say the did you already do the read?
[00:45:50] Luckily, the Ridge wallet guys are cool. Otherwise I feel bad about trying to jam this. They're
[00:45:54] cool guys. But Sean and Ridge wallet shout out to them. They're also they had fucking
[00:45:58] did like advertisement so under in the playoffs. That's huge because that's a relatively new
[00:46:03] company. I think they've been around as long as the podcast. It's a real baseball guy product
[00:46:07] for sure. True. Yeah. It's a great wallet because I instantly that's a no bad flip. The worst
[00:46:13] thing Ridge wallet ever did was advertise with with gas digital because I saw Lewis had one
[00:46:18] and I said, I will never own one of those. But then you see guys walking around with like
[00:46:25] underarm or golf shirts with Ridge wallet. You're like, damn, I respect them now. Well,
[00:46:29] they said it. They said it to us because you know, we do the reads or whatever. And I was
[00:46:34] in between wallets and I used it and I'll never use another wallet. Should we should
[00:46:38] we talk about Ridge wallet a little bit? Let's let a breathe for a second while we're at it.
[00:46:42] No, we should talk about Ridge wallet. Let's talk about Ridge wallet. So it's a father
[00:46:46] and son team Daniel and Paul Kane that launched the Ridge wallet on Kickstarter in 2013 and
[00:46:52] now sits in the front of and it now sits in the front of pockets of over a million men
[00:46:57] in a way with your dad with your gay father. Yeah, we're going into business together.
[00:47:03] God, imagine. Yeah, we're making wallets for Lewis J. Gomez and golf guys. We're under
[00:47:08] armature. The two of the gay six father and son wallet JP. I got a fucking idea for you.
[00:47:16] What have we got wallets that weren't gay? These are like that. Why don't we call it
[00:47:21] Ridge wallet instead of the gay sex father and son. That's why I brought you on board
[00:47:27] at it. That's genius. Well, imagine that in mind for marketing. Wouldn't that be awesome
[00:47:35] if you and your dad owned Ridge wallet? You wouldn't have to do the podcast. You'd be
[00:47:39] a ridge off all day. That'd be awesome. We have to see if the new wallets fit inside
[00:47:45] your ass. No, it's for the front pocket, not the
[00:47:48] two long men have had their wallets in their asses. And now with Ridge wallet, you can
[00:47:54] have it in your front pocket. Yep. At Ridge, they prefer to do more with less. And it's
[00:48:00] not just a remark on resourcefulness. I prefer to do less with less. That's true. I mean,
[00:48:05] you go dick don't work. Also, you bust immediately. Which is hard to do. Just enough. You know,
[00:48:14] what's you do? Even more so than busting immediately. What's that brother is deciding that you're
[00:48:20] never going to bust immediately and then telling someone to leave. That isn't that's an even
[00:48:25] play it off like something. No, it's not right. Yeah, I'm not gonna. It's not right
[00:48:28] that we're doing this isn't gonna work by see you. Yeah, because at that point, it's
[00:48:33] just how I rented master and commander and I got to watch a report expires. I got for
[00:48:38] you. I really respect that because at that point, it's literally easier just to fuck
[00:48:42] poorly than it is to be like, yeah, you have a conversation. Yeah. Anyway, so basically,
[00:48:49] they're streamlining daily life through quality products. That's fine. Every day, essential
[00:48:53] while it's backpacks and charges line down the minimalist designs. True. That don't sacrifice
[00:48:59] function. By eliminating excess. Like one of the boxes that's made that they turned into
[00:49:12] Adam. What we're saying. You're gay. We're saying that you piss yourself out of delight.
[00:49:15] Let me just finish. We see a man. They also they made it special for Adam the rich diaper.
[00:49:20] That's true. And you have it, but it's a streamline. It's a golden diaper. It's just over your
[00:49:24] dickhole and asshole. It's a diaper with like a beer bottle. It's a nelly band-aid that goes
[00:49:29] over your dickhole. It's their re. They're they're they're just rough. They're just rough
[00:49:33] day. There's so much unused fabric and most diapers. And in this day and age, you know,
[00:49:39] landfills are filling up with these things. Yeah. Jewish men's diapers. Yeah. 34 year old
[00:49:44] Jewish. It's like the Holocaust. We see a room that's just filled with diapers. Yeah.
[00:49:50] And the Nazis took these. This is a pile of diapers. We're forced to go. There's a
[00:49:59] pile of twist on it though. These were the Nazis diapers. They would pull long shifts
[00:50:04] and they wouldn't want to go to the bathroom. By eliminating excess and building to performance
[00:50:09] grade, we turn the items you carry every day into tools for better living. Carry less,
[00:50:14] live more. That's the Ridgewall guarantee. They got a lot of great products. We use
[00:50:19] them. Ridgewall. They got aluminum, titanium, carbon fiber. They got bags, car cases, gear,
[00:50:26] knives, power strips and et cetera. I don't even know about the power strips.
[00:50:31] They haven't et cetera. I'm looking forward to checking those out because I'm a fan of
[00:50:36] everything Ridgewall. So go to Ridgewall. Power strips for guys. Go to Ridgewall. Is there
[00:50:40] promo code or we just want to talk? Come down. Come down. Twenty. We did this before. We
[00:50:44] just remember you. Come down. Twenty or we'll think it's this come down. Enter promo code
[00:50:50] come down and check out and you'll get 20% off or something. So fucking true. Which is
[00:50:55] a great deal. Great product. I've said the Ridgewall for Stav, the Midewall for girls.
[00:51:01] The smidge wallet for your dick because it's just a smidge of a penis. I got a bad one.
[00:51:10] The midewall for me because I enjoy the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. That's true. Yeah. I've never
[00:51:18] watched that show. What's about fucking some bitch who's going on a fucking bank or something.
[00:51:24] Yeah. That way bad. Some bitch goes to a fucking bank every day. It sounds like she should
[00:51:28] have magical powers, but I think she just does stand up. Yeah, it's a bullshit name.
[00:51:33] She's not makes it. Yeah, it makes it. It's like Jewish Mary Poppins or something. Exactly.
[00:51:38] She should be Jewish. She shows up. She's like a spoonful. Well, it's still a half spoon
[00:51:42] or sugar. Well, that sugar is coming out of my paycheck. So it's a quarter spoonful of
[00:51:48] sugar. She floats in on an umbrella to be the family's lawyer. Mm. Yeah. Well, a spoonful
[00:51:53] of sugar dilutes the expensive medication. You know they're adding her to the next Avengers.
[00:51:59] Mary Poppins. I thought Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Yeah, Maisel's. She's not in the comic box.
[00:52:06] She's in there. She's canon. She's MCU. Yeah. Hell yeah. I heard they're going to make
[00:52:11] a fucking a fighting game with Scooby Doo in it. Just a real thing I heard. Yeah. I thought
[00:52:18] that was like a set up to a punchline. Nope. Dude, I'm going to. Nah, JB. I'm going to
[00:52:22] fight. You haven't been paying attention to last hour. I'm going to fight Velma every
[00:52:27] round. I'll show her who's boss. I think about getting a dog and then because you know people
[00:52:32] get mad. You're dog shit on the street. Yeah. If I go if I walk my dog, but I use tongs
[00:52:38] to pick up the dog shit and then put it in trash can. That's awesome. See how long before
[00:52:42] people are like, just leave the shit on the street. I'm just carefully picking up dogs.
[00:52:48] They see you barbecuing in front of your house. Oh no. Yeah. That's awesome. You should
[00:52:54] do that, man. There are too many dogs in the city. I'll say it. Yeah. New more cats.
[00:53:00] Let's do what we need is wild macaws all over the city that die in the winter and then
[00:53:04] we repopulate them. Are they predatory or do they eat like grubs? I think they eat coom
[00:53:08] quads and fucking out. They're loud as shit. They're loud as shit and they're beautiful.
[00:53:13] They're like me. They talk. Oh, that's all we need. Yeah. Oh, she don't want to be patient.
[00:53:26] Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So you say you're lying, bitch. So you say you're lying. So you're
[00:53:31] saying you're saying you're not saying you're saying you're lying. You say you're lying.
[00:53:40] You're lying. Why my fries? Got damn dude. Should I get pop eyes? What's it making these
[00:53:50] yesterday? Pure chaos. I love it. Yeah. What's your order? Couple of double cheeseburgers
[00:53:55] and some fries. You're not used to love them. 10 bucks, 10 michigan sandwiches off the dollar
[00:54:00] menu. That's fucking insanity. Blow their money. Just fucking honey get a bunch of the
[00:54:07] sweet and sour sauce. Not a frying sight. No, just 10 of the chicken sandwiches and then
[00:54:12] 40 the same. Nice. Yeah. 10 michigan sandwiches and 40 Jesus. What did your shit look like
[00:54:19] after that, dude? I don't know. My favorite combination was like a Bud Light 40 and double
[00:54:23] stuff Oreos. Wow. Oh, it was kind of have to go. I don't think I ever mixed drinking
[00:54:28] an Oreos beer. It mixes great with beer. It's like even better than milk. Really? But I
[00:54:34] haven't drank except it's better than Oreo beers. Do you give a little dip? Damn JP,
[00:54:41] I didn't know you were that much of a drunk at some point. He's Irish. I know. That was
[00:54:45] a little nightcap. Bud Light Oreos. Do you ever do anything? Do you ever drunk? It'd
[00:54:50] be a fun fun like a fun. I drove drunk a few times. It was probably not great. A fun
[00:54:55] superhero, but like one like Ant Man or Lo Tear ones, his name's nightcap. And he gets
[00:55:01] drunk and crashes into the criminal. Thanks. Nightcap. He's like, Hey, we're fucking you
[00:55:11] as long as we're on the same page. Reno. He's got that. He's got diabetes. He just like
[00:55:16] launches his his ladsets at the criminals and takes them down. I was a traffic court one
[00:55:21] time and a guy got that coming up. I caught a case. Yeah, a guy was like on the docket
[00:55:27] before me and he like he had gone on a little like a high speed chase. Nice. And there was
[00:55:33] like fucking 15 cruisers behind him and eventually like crash into a Jersey wall and like he
[00:55:39] just got traffic court for that. Well, because he had already like I guess he had already
[00:55:43] proven that he was diabetic and like had a medical emergency. But then they still cited
[00:55:48] him and he was like, yeah, they already let me off with everything else. Like it's just
[00:55:51] ticket. And the judge is like, you know, they're just threw it out immediately. But it was
[00:55:55] very funny to see that he get his insulin. Well, he was in court. He crashed. I bet there
[00:56:00] are lawyers who specialize in like high speed chases specifically. And they're like, okay,
[00:56:05] we're going to force be you sugar until you get diabetes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, if they
[00:56:10] see a fat guy that their eyes line up. Oh, that's D money right there. They still have
[00:56:16] a television shows like the wildest police chases with Sheriff John Benelle. Those were
[00:56:23] great. I'm Sheriff John Benelle and I'm gay. I'm Sheriff John Benelle Ramsey. Yeah. And
[00:56:29] I like to put our makers all across the country kissing hug each other every night,
[00:56:33] gutting inside of each other's asses. It's one of the most dangerous jobs in the world.
[00:56:38] And I'm proud to have done it for 25 years. Goodbye, Adam. You got a P. Now you piss
[00:56:47] on my nuts, brother. It's on it's on YouTube. And you fold it in with like shoot out videos
[00:56:53] is way more intense than they could ever show. Well, the Russian dashcams kind of like destroyed
[00:56:57] the need for world's wildest police. Yeah, because I love it. Just hitting a bear full
[00:57:02] speed. Yeah, it's like, you know, they're driving like 80 miles an hour and it's listening to
[00:57:06] like the worst music ever made. And someone they got like, what do they go? Fruity loops
[00:57:11] or whatever that? Yeah, like the line drunk. Yeah, listening to like the default, like
[00:57:16] the project starter template, you know, yeah. There's one video I saw it's like two guys
[00:57:25] like racing there. I mean, a good time. And then the video just cuts and one of the cars
[00:57:28] is on fire and someone's like climbing out of the window. Their skin's melting off. And
[00:57:33] they're fucking they're dying. I'm just burning the car. And then it's like surrounded by
[00:57:38] Russian people being like, who's that? Yeah, but he's dead. Yeah. But he's like telling
[00:57:42] him like, get out of the car. Jesus fucking got she felt as melted into the car completely.
[00:57:48] He has no hope of escape. Boobly be the chip. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Do you do do do do boop,
[00:57:54] boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. I saw a fucking Greek dashcam thing. We're
[00:57:59] just like a fuck some dumb bitch driving and she hit a guy on a moped. This fucking guy
[00:58:04] did like a full 360 spin landed on her car got up. I was like, you gotta fucking stop
[00:58:11] son. You dumb bitch. I would love that so much. I'm just getting to be a Russian dashcam
[00:58:19] video. We're like a guy in like a you go or something. He like fucking loses control,
[00:58:23] flips the car. His baby comes out of the car window and he just gets up and picks the
[00:58:28] baby up. Oh man, that kid is fucked. They are soft for this. They built to fall down. Have
[00:58:38] you ever seen that video like the drunk Russian guy making his two sons fight and one son
[00:58:42] is like, you know, wimp and the other one's like, you know, everybody in the other didn't
[00:58:46] yeah. One of them's like a like this lean like MMA kid or whatever. This is like hard
[00:58:50] in rush. He's beating the fuck out of his like wimp brother or something. Probably because
[00:58:54] the kids gay, right? But the one doing all like the macho fighting is wearing a speedo
[00:58:59] because they're Russian. The other kid like, you know, eventually he defend himself just
[00:59:05] grabs the kids nuts. And it's just like holding on to them for a year. Like the kids like
[00:59:13] just screaming and pain and the dad's just yelling at them in Russian. And he's like,
[00:59:19] you know, he's like, you can't do that. Do not do much your weakness. That used to be
[00:59:24] one of my favorite video. Just doing kickbox. I'm just like, just gets him. And he's like
[00:59:33] stretching them all the way out to here. That's fucking genius, dude. I've been rocking with
[00:59:41] this video of the like, there's some rodeo thing where a bunch of dudes just get in the
[00:59:45] ring and like run around with an agitated bull. Oh, one guy's running away from the bull.
[00:59:50] You never turn your back on it. And he just gets launched at least 50 feet. He does a
[00:59:54] triple backflip. Just hop straight up. It's like, it's great because you get to fully
[00:59:58] root for the bull. Yeah, for sure. You hope they kill somebody. The bull, the rodeo clowns,
[01:00:04] bull fighters are are bitch ass. Yeah, I don't fuck with bullfighting. The rodeo clowns.
[01:00:08] I didn't realize that they they murder the bull. Yeah, that motherfucker. They kill
[01:00:12] the fucking burgers off that. Yeah, they have stakes. They have paella for a long time off
[01:00:17] that bull. I was when I was in France, they the drip is cool. I'll give them that. You're
[01:00:21] like outside of like a stadium where they were having a bullfight and we're like me and my
[01:00:24] girlfriend were having a sandwich and we were just listening to an animal like suffering.
[01:00:29] Yeah, probably. It was really sad. It's pretty whack. Yeah. Hemingway sucked. Yeah, he's
[01:00:35] all the bullfighting. Yeah, what a loser. He's a bitch ass. Now Hemingway, he usually,
[01:00:40] did he get pussy? Well, I read some literary criticism that says yes, he did. All right.
[01:00:49] Okay, respect. That's how we evaluate authors. Absolutely. I think he might have been a
[01:00:54] closeted guy. He seemed to be way into that stuff that like he's really into mask. Everyone
[01:00:58] is talking about masking. He's gay. That's true. Yeah, it's the gayest thing to be into
[01:01:01] 100% to be into being a guy hunting and bullfighting and all that shit. Yeah. Yeah. Not me. I'm I'm
[01:01:09] over here trying to suck on a titty. The sun also rides a guy who just gets cucked and
[01:01:13] then gets the shit beat out of him by a bullfighter. Oh, yeah. That didn't even that other that he
[01:01:18] did that other cucked story about the guy of the line or whatever. He loved. Yeah. Yeah.
[01:01:23] That was a short love getting cucked. All penis on the Western penis. All penis on the
[01:01:27] Western ass. Nick is like Hemingway vibes. No, no, no, you're trying to shut up. I agree
[01:01:35] with you. You live in Key West. You go to the cats. No, you're trying to get in a lot.
[01:01:40] This is what he does. Adam will stay silent to the last minute of the show. I haven't
[01:01:43] been silent. I did some great read. Actually, you're gay. I try and throw salt at the end
[01:01:48] knowing that it's not worth it. Points on the board. I just steal the round. Yes, exactly.
[01:01:55] I got a lot of fun. Yeah. I'm just like pushing my teammate away for a reverb. No, no, out
[01:02:00] of nowhere free. Nick's like Hemingway. You were you fucking right. I didn't know that
[01:02:07] one was staying so bad. I really did. I really touched the intention. I guess I really, really
[01:02:14] just pressed the button. I didn't know there is son of a bitch. It has a big blunderbuss
[01:02:19] that he puts in his ass. Yeah, but facing out and then he fires it. So the recoil forces
[01:02:24] are going to be a little bit more. Yeah, Hemingway. Hemingway shot himself in the face. Well, that's
[01:02:31] more of a Gaston move, which will end the episode there. Yes, I am Gaston. Adam is Bell. Adam
[01:02:36] is a gay guy. Adam is the clock, Adam is the clock. I'm the clock. Adam is the game clock.