[00:00:00] I got a good head back.

[00:00:02] Yeah, he never came on the show though.

[00:00:04] Well, let's get him on. He called. He called once. No, he didn't. Yeah, he called me once. He called you.

[00:00:11] Remember we were doing the show. He called me. I don't think and they was like just fucking hang up.

[00:00:18] I don't remember that. You're like just fucking hang up. We're not talking to this guy.

[00:00:21] Oh, yeah, psycho psycho savage. Joe Savage. Oh, yeah, he had a Colorado area code. If I remember correctly.

[00:00:30] My favorite video of his of all time one of the most powerful displays I've seen in my life.

[00:00:35] It's like, okay, this is really fucking interesting and I'm five. Oh my five one or whatever.

[00:00:42] I was like, I'm not fucking five one and then gets on like a scale with like the measuring thing with shoes on.

[00:00:48] He measures himself and he's five six. He's like five fucking six bitch. Oh, nice. Yeah.

[00:00:56] Savage psycho. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:01:00] Yeah, I was psycho. Joe. Yeah, she after the gym and all the training.

[00:01:05] Spent a few hours with them around the city. Yeah.

[00:01:09] That's what he wants.

[00:01:10] The clients. Oh, his personal training.

[00:01:12] It's just like one of the just the same. Oh, yeah, that was his whole thing.

[00:01:15] Is he talk about how he's a trainer and that he had hot women as his clients.

[00:01:20] Yeah, this is awesome. Yeah, he just finds pictures.

[00:01:23] Dude, look at this. Yeah, if I was just one of the worst photo shops I've ever seen.

[00:01:27] No, this is cool. This is real. She's next to him.

[00:01:30] They're in a room filled with fire.

[00:01:34] Some of the fires. The part I can make her smile.

[00:01:37] You're the part I can make her smile year to year old day long, even after a killer session.

[00:01:46] It's a real thing. You're a lucky guy, man. This guy fucks.

[00:01:49] He only days guys to bench six plates. Anyway. So yeah, I agree with you, though, man.

[00:01:55] We got to get the whole fucking team. I've been checking on him in a while.

[00:01:59] Yeah, I have all nearly forgot about him completely.

[00:02:02] Should we see if we need a message? Maybe. Maybe we should.

[00:02:08] Maybe we shouldn't. The one thing's for sure. It's December.

[00:02:12] It's Wednesday. It's a Wednesday in December.

[00:02:16] And we're all having a great day. We're having a great day.

[00:02:18] We're having a really awesome fucking time. We're live. We're fucking live.

[00:02:22] And our bodies have been ravaged by three days of cabin living.

[00:02:26] We've been here for a month. This is taking a while.

[00:02:32] Each episode we do three days. We do one episode every three days.

[00:02:37] We really script it out. We have to write.

[00:02:40] Yeah. We should get a whack pack, dude.

[00:02:44] We should. This show should become fun for us again.

[00:02:47] Exactly. Instead of spitefully making it bad for the audience.

[00:02:50] We should find a way of making fun.

[00:02:52] The audience who loves the show.

[00:02:54] The idea is the show becomes horrible for the audience.

[00:02:59] Everyone's still having a great time.

[00:03:01] But it becomes fun for us again.

[00:03:02] That would be awesome.

[00:03:03] And Donald Trump is king. We are given some title of nobility.

[00:03:07] Of course.

[00:03:09] We get to be the lords of the Mid-Atlantic.

[00:03:11] Yeah.

[00:03:11] Fuck it. Look, everybody hates capitalism.

[00:03:13] Get rid of it. Feudalism?

[00:03:15] Yeah, basically.

[00:03:15] Okay.

[00:03:16] People have to learn to feel the same stuff.

[00:03:18] Yeah.

[00:03:20] As long as we're landed.

[00:03:21] We're landed. We got a castle somewhere.

[00:03:24] You know.

[00:03:24] That'd be awesome. I go.

[00:03:25] I'm coming around. I'm doing pre-monactus.

[00:03:27] You know what I'm saying?

[00:03:28] We have three castles.

[00:03:29] We have three gimposies from everybody's wife.

[00:03:30] We all have our own castles.

[00:03:31] For sure.

[00:03:32] Nix Castle always has ghosts and lightning over it.

[00:03:35] It's dark.

[00:03:35] It's like a pack.

[00:03:36] Yeah.

[00:03:37] Bowser 5.

[00:03:38] Yeah.

[00:03:38] That would be awesome.

[00:03:41] No, mine is awesome.

[00:03:41] Mine is a sunshine.

[00:03:43] It's always raining just above.

[00:03:44] Nix Cast.

[00:03:45] Mine's rainbows.

[00:03:47] Mine's the other one.

[00:03:48] It's all rainbows.

[00:03:49] He's happy and his atom says Bank of America.

[00:03:55] Adams in the middle and he's the money changer.

[00:03:57] Yeah.

[00:03:58] Mike Green gots.

[00:04:03] Hell yeah.

[00:04:03] That would be fucking sick.

[00:04:05] Mike Castell is underground.

[00:04:06] I would love to have my maidens over there.

[00:04:08] You know.

[00:04:09] The big titties out.

[00:04:10] Milk and cows.

[00:04:11] Yeah.

[00:04:11] Oh my god.

[00:04:12] They got those frilly white dresses.

[00:04:15] You know, the ones that kind of came back in style almost.

[00:04:17] I feel like.

[00:04:18] Yeah.

[00:04:18] That girls were wearing.

[00:04:19] Made in shit.

[00:04:20] Mentally ill girls were doing that.

[00:04:21] They were wearing made in shit like a year ago.

[00:04:23] Maybe even right now even.

[00:04:25] Yeah.

[00:04:25] It's kind of become a borderline personality disorder.

[00:04:27] Hey, that's true.

[00:04:28] I feel bad for a young woman.

[00:04:30] You slurped off that.

[00:04:30] I thought having borderline personality disorder was cool.

[00:04:34] Then went to a therapist and got diagnosed with it.

[00:04:36] Yeah.

[00:04:37] And now they just have that for the rest of their lives.

[00:04:39] Yeah.

[00:04:39] Yeah.

[00:04:40] Good job.

[00:04:41] Ooh, text from Elders.

[00:04:42] What's the deal with the kitchen pots and pans over there?

[00:04:45] Should I cook a big chili and cornbread tomorrow night?

[00:04:48] We're talking about pork shoulder though.

[00:04:49] Oh yeah.

[00:04:50] Oh, right.

[00:04:50] He's eating some kind of, I think he's eating clean.

[00:04:53] He's on a diet.

[00:04:53] He's eating clean chili and cornbread.

[00:04:55] Well, it's vegan.

[00:04:56] It's vegan.

[00:04:57] It's vegan.

[00:04:58] What I mean is he's eating.

[00:04:59] Dude, he's looking for.

[00:05:01] Hey, fuck.

[00:05:02] You don't say that about my pal.

[00:05:03] Who's that doctor at?

[00:05:04] He's got.

[00:05:06] I mean, I clean.

[00:05:07] I can only have Slim Gems and Licorice.

[00:05:11] Dude, it's so funny.

[00:05:14] I'm thinking about a hard juice.

[00:05:15] Pork shoulder, but I forgot.

[00:05:16] Your dick is small.

[00:05:20] And you're eating vegan.

[00:05:21] It's the texting segment.

[00:05:24] Yeah.

[00:05:25] I got a text, Vinny.

[00:05:28] The fucking texting segment.

[00:05:35] His profile name is Disney, Vinny Beetle.

[00:05:38] The hilarious still milking that.

[00:05:40] I'm still really sure we should.

[00:05:41] We should do over 70 people.

[00:05:47] No more than I was being.

[00:05:49] Where's it from?

[00:05:49] Did he Photoshop himself into a different picture?

[00:05:52] Do you Photoshop himself into a picture of?

[00:05:54] Yeah, he's not in that picture.

[00:05:56] No, he's not in any picture.

[00:05:57] There's a picture of us with Vinny.

[00:06:00] Yeah, no, he took a different picture.

[00:06:01] He took a different one.

[00:06:02] Oh, yeah.

[00:06:02] It's been two years, but come run thicker than blood.

[00:06:05] Miss the boys.

[00:06:06] Why is that?

[00:06:07] Come on.

[00:06:07] He's not in any picture.

[00:06:11] His profile picture is just scum town podcast.

[00:06:15] His display name is Disney, Vinny Beetle.

[00:06:20] Maybe we should call him.

[00:06:21] Yeah.

[00:06:22] We have the wire.

[00:06:24] A lot of people, you don't have to be honest with me.

[00:06:25] He's like just the idea of having people on.

[00:06:28] It's like you don't want to like sign people up for

[00:06:34] just all the attention, but he really can handle it.

[00:06:36] No, Vinny is.

[00:06:37] He's taking bags for it.

[00:06:38] Yeah, then fucking Vinny.

[00:06:39] Yeah, I've been in a bag on.

[00:06:41] Yeah, tell him to get here.

[00:06:42] Call him, Adam, tell him to fucking.

[00:06:44] I'm going to call him right now.

[00:06:48] Call him to fuck.

[00:06:49] No, actually, I don't want him here.

[00:06:50] No, I don't want him in our house.

[00:06:51] He would ruin the fucking vibe.

[00:06:53] Yeah, he'd steal all the pots and pans.

[00:06:54] Yeah, we'd owe so much money to Airbnb.

[00:06:58] Are you calling him?

[00:07:01] You want to get the wire?

[00:07:02] I'm calling him on Instagram.

[00:07:06] Oh, so we'll get to see him.

[00:07:10] Where's the wire?

[00:07:12] It's in the, uh, this guy.

[00:07:15] The box.

[00:07:17] He's trying to change my gun case.

[00:07:19] Yeah, dude, the pelican.

[00:07:25] I'll just borrow it.

[00:07:28] I wonder if I have his phone number.

[00:07:29] I don't think I do.

[00:07:30] Yeah.

[00:07:32] Where the fuck does this plugin?

[00:07:34] Oh, right here.

[00:07:34] I see.

[00:07:36] Seven Eifs.

[00:07:37] If you're listening at home, Vinnie Beatle is a guy that, uh, we're calling.

[00:07:45] Yep.

[00:07:46] If you want, you can figure out which he was on an episode, I think, uh,

[00:07:49] patreon.com slash com tab.

[00:07:51] Yep.

[00:07:52] He's on one of the premium episodes.

[00:07:53] There's over 300 episodes.

[00:07:54] If you'd started listening to show in the last

[00:07:57] seven months and you're like, wow, this is real dog shit.

[00:08:00] I'm going to stop listening to it.

[00:08:02] Might I suggest becoming angry?

[00:08:05] Yeah, because you were spending angry,

[00:08:06] sending angry emails all the time, but also

[00:08:09] going to patreon.com.

[00:08:10] That's right.

[00:08:11] Slash comtown checking out a two year backlog from when.

[00:08:15] And within there, I would say there's probably maybe seven episodes that are good.

[00:08:19] That's probably, uh, there's, there's a lot.

[00:08:21] What do you think?

[00:08:22] 13 out of the nearly, what is it?

[00:08:25] 250.

[00:08:26] 500.

[00:08:27] I was a member of used to schedule a break halfway through

[00:08:29] and I would like produce a little, I mean, a Purdue, I mean,

[00:08:32] get a little sound club, something fun.

[00:08:34] Yeah, the first 30 episodes you've produced.

[00:08:36] Yeah, we had theme music.

[00:08:37] There's a production.

[00:08:38] I literally wrote an app to replace you for I guess.

[00:08:41] Yeah, that was fun.

[00:08:41] Yeah.

[00:08:42] That was, that was more than 30 episodes.

[00:08:44] And that was, we were in it for a little bit.

[00:08:46] That's the only episode I listened to.

[00:08:47] I was in a half of that because it was fun because people were like,

[00:08:49] this is hilarious.

[00:08:50] Yeah.

[00:08:51] And it was pretty funny.

[00:08:52] Not, not even getting close to doing it.

[00:08:54] I can barely hold the mic towards my face.

[00:08:56] Yep.

[00:08:56] Yep.

[00:08:58] That would be cool though, man.

[00:08:58] If you guys could just phase me out with a stop bot full time.

[00:09:01] Yeah.

[00:09:02] Bring it back.

[00:09:02] There's a way to fully automate the show.

[00:09:05] It's got, there's got to be a way.

[00:09:06] There's got to be a way.

[00:09:07] We can do this with, yeah.

[00:09:09] How the fuck can Alexa just do this?

[00:09:11] Yeah.

[00:09:12] You know, just upload our consciousnesses into the fucking cloud.

[00:09:16] Yeah.

[00:09:16] And have them crank out podcast.

[00:09:19] We get, you know, we give, we kick up a little bit to whoever does that.

[00:09:24] 100%.

[00:09:24] You got the word I,

[00:09:26] you know,

[00:09:27] what's that?

[00:09:28] Did I plug it in the right place?

[00:09:29] Uh, yeah, that's very good.

[00:09:31] Very nice.

[00:09:32] Very cool.

[00:09:33] But yeah, we watched Christmas movie hocus pocus last night.

[00:09:37] That was awesome.

[00:09:38] Oh, the last action hero.

[00:09:39] Yeah, we watched that.

[00:09:41] That movie rules.

[00:09:42] I would love to fuck Veronica Vaughn.

[00:09:45] Oh my God.

[00:09:46] You know what I'm saying?

[00:09:47] You know who did?

[00:09:49] Pete Samperis.

[00:09:49] Mark the

[00:09:50] Marvus.

[00:09:51] No, he didn't.

[00:09:52] Yeah, I heard Mark the other day.

[00:09:53] That would be so jealous of Mark Fokker.

[00:09:56] She's really hot.

[00:09:58] So hot.

[00:09:59] Want to touch the high knee?

[00:10:07] What's, uh, what are your guys favorite?

[00:10:11] Christmas time treats.

[00:10:13] Well, Christmas time is coming up.

[00:10:15] Adam, are you jealous of Christmas?

[00:10:17] No, I celebrate it now.

[00:10:18] Maybe this is the, you know, we should do is turn this into a game show.

[00:10:22] That would be awesome.

[00:10:23] Get people on and then they win prizes and stuff.

[00:10:25] Yeah, it would be so awesome.

[00:10:27] Because Trebek like used to talk out.

[00:10:28] Guess stops wait, but we got a trick scale.

[00:10:32] I think it fluctuates 110 pounds.

[00:10:35] He's a twink.

[00:10:37] I am, dude.

[00:10:39] You know what would be fun is to have,

[00:10:42] have two scales and we bring women on and we see how much they wake and build the stop.

[00:10:46] The stops is calibrated so that it comes up lower and the woman said we had like 25 pounds.

[00:10:55] No, we good.

[00:10:56] That would be adding 25 pounds to a woman is like, they would kill themselves.

[00:11:00] They would kill themselves.

[00:11:00] That's so much weight for a little ass woman.

[00:11:03] They'll weigh like 100 pounds.

[00:11:05] It always freaking freaked me.

[00:11:06] I was like, what?

[00:11:07] That's all women weight.

[00:11:09] That's three.

[00:11:10] It's weird.

[00:11:10] I'm three of that.

[00:11:12] Uh, not quite three, but thank you, Adam.

[00:11:14] 3.5.

[00:11:15] No, I'm not 350.

[00:11:18] Pie.

[00:11:19] Stoves weight is pie.

[00:11:20] 3.14.

[00:11:21] Yeah, it's not.

[00:11:23] 3.1415926.

[00:11:25] Stop weighs pie, which is 3.14 women.

[00:11:29] Oh, fuck dude.

[00:11:30] I'd like to get sucked off by 3.14 women.

[00:11:34] That I'm saying three women and then like a fuck though.

[00:11:36] Week 14 year olds.

[00:11:38] No, that's not what I said.

[00:11:41] It was going to be a hot in the spirit of Halloween.

[00:11:43] 3 women and then 1.14.

[00:11:46] Like a weird fucked up puddle of body parts.

[00:11:51] Those spooky.

[00:11:52] Those gay holidays.

[00:11:54] Like May 4th.

[00:11:57] Are you Arbor Day?

[00:11:58] That's like workers or something.

[00:12:00] It's like the Star Wars.

[00:12:01] Oh, May 1st.

[00:12:02] May Day.

[00:12:03] May Day.

[00:12:04] You fucking.

[00:12:05] Oh yeah.

[00:12:05] May 1st.

[00:12:06] Wow.

[00:12:07] Champagne socialist over here.

[00:12:09] Whatever, dude.

[00:12:09] I don't have to answer for anything.

[00:12:10] I've been on Chappo.

[00:12:14] Fucking Pratomaya.

[00:12:16] Are they still doing Chappo Chappos?

[00:12:17] Do they get out of this yet?

[00:12:18] Yeah, but they pivoted.

[00:12:20] What are they doing now?

[00:12:21] They're doing a game show.

[00:12:23] Oh, if they are doing a game show, let me piss off.

[00:12:27] Coming up, we have a woman who we're going to weigh on a scale

[00:12:32] and see what her weight is.

[00:12:34] I don't know if that's one of them anymore.

[00:12:36] That's the only one who I can do.

[00:12:39] Coming up.

[00:12:39] Coming up, she looks like she's 175 pounds.

[00:12:48] Oh, fuck.

[00:12:49] What's he up to?

[00:12:51] I think he started a tutoring service.

[00:12:53] Did he?

[00:12:53] Yeah.

[00:12:53] An elementary school tutoring service.

[00:12:55] Oh, OK.

[00:12:56] Online.

[00:12:56] That's where you're going with that.

[00:12:58] Because he's fucking Chinese.

[00:12:59] Yeah.

[00:13:00] He's running real mature.

[00:13:02] Yeah, let's say that's what I'm doing.

[00:13:04] What is that?

[00:13:04] Tutoring?

[00:13:05] Oh, it's very funny.

[00:13:06] Virgil is working with children because he's Chinese.

[00:13:13] Real mature.

[00:13:14] Very mature.

[00:13:18] Oh, yeah.

[00:13:18] Cuman or whatever the fuck it's called.

[00:13:20] Yeah.

[00:13:20] The kid is sad.

[00:13:21] The logo is a sad kid.

[00:13:23] He's fucked up because he's stupid.

[00:13:24] Yeah.

[00:13:25] Also because he got a cuman.

[00:13:27] He got cuman.

[00:13:28] I always thought that was such a funny name.

[00:13:30] It is.

[00:13:30] It's cuman.

[00:13:31] I never understood what those places were as a kid.

[00:13:33] I'm like, what the fuck is this extra home?

[00:13:35] Extra school?

[00:13:36] More school.

[00:13:36] What the fuck is going on?

[00:13:37] Can you imagine if your parents did that?

[00:13:39] I would be so.

[00:13:40] I would go home.

[00:13:40] I would immediately piss in the circuit breaker.

[00:13:43] If you did that shit for me,

[00:13:44] you put me in extra homework classes.

[00:13:46] He's gone feral.

[00:13:47] Yeah.

[00:13:48] Yeah.

[00:13:48] There was no way you were getting tutoring.

[00:13:50] Yeah.

[00:13:50] You were lucky to get you to school.

[00:13:52] You'd bite your mom.

[00:13:53] I remember my mom for extra money with tutor retarded, kids.

[00:13:56] When I was thinking.

[00:13:57] That's awesome.

[00:13:57] And it was like, that's a scam.

[00:13:59] It's a perfect scam.

[00:14:01] Yeah.

[00:14:01] No one can tell if I'm doing a good job right now.

[00:14:03] Yeah, right.

[00:14:03] I'm going to cure your son.

[00:14:04] Yeah.

[00:14:05] Yeah, dude.

[00:14:07] That's smart.

[00:14:09] Yeah, dude.

[00:14:09] That's smart.

[00:14:10] You're a progress business man, dude.

[00:14:12] We're making a lot of progress,

[00:14:13] but it's going on Shark Tank.

[00:14:15] It's like, it's school, but for retarded people.

[00:14:19] And they're like, I'm listening.

[00:14:20] And it's like, you charge a bunch of money.

[00:14:22] No one can tell.

[00:14:23] Yeah.

[00:14:23] You never.

[00:14:24] It's an endless, you know,

[00:14:25] it's like a gyms that are designed

[00:14:26] so people sign up and never use them.

[00:14:28] Planet fitness.

[00:14:28] Planet, yeah.

[00:14:29] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:14:30] It's a five dollar mom.

[00:14:30] Planet genius.

[00:14:31] Yeah.

[00:14:32] It's a.

[00:14:33] It's a subscription school for retarded people.

[00:14:37] Yeah.

[00:14:37] It's just like a retarded kid, like riding a rocket, like,

[00:14:40] mmm, yeah, like, tongue out.

[00:14:43] We have, we face the goofy emoji.

[00:14:44] Yeah.

[00:14:45] You know, we got a little no judgment zone.

[00:14:47] Yeah.

[00:14:48] You know, we have like testimonials

[00:14:50] from just regular people that claim they used to be.

[00:14:52] Yeah.

[00:14:55] Yeah, when I went in there, I could not eat.

[00:14:57] I did not know what numbers were.

[00:14:59] Tom Hanks, star of Forrest Gump.

[00:15:01] Tom.

[00:15:02] Planet, planet genius changed my life.

[00:15:04] Yeah.

[00:15:06] Uh, I don't know what he sounds like.

[00:15:08] That's what I like when you go, uh.

[00:15:10] Yeah, but he doesn't sense the stage.

[00:15:12] Uh, I'm Chinese.

[00:15:18] That's really smart of your mom to do that.

[00:15:20] Yeah.

[00:15:20] Adam, do they ever send you to tutoring?

[00:15:22] No.

[00:15:22] No?

[00:15:23] No, they're too bright.

[00:15:24] No, they're too cheap.

[00:15:26] Yeah.

[00:15:27] My friends with the tutoring, I was like, what?

[00:15:29] What?

[00:15:30] Fucking George.

[00:15:31] It's never, it's never anyone who's poor though.

[00:15:33] There's never poor kids in tutoring.

[00:15:34] No.

[00:15:35] You gotta hope you're fucking, you gotta hope

[00:15:37] the teacher takes pity on you and teaches you stuff.

[00:15:39] Also, all the, all the rich kids.

[00:15:42] I just don't understand what he's limited time on the SAT.

[00:15:45] What is tutoring though?

[00:15:47] What do you mean, what is it?

[00:15:48] It's just they just they're like,

[00:15:50] if you got hard homework and you didn't know how the fuck you didn't,

[00:15:52] you weren't understand.

[00:15:53] So then what does the tutor do?

[00:15:54] They just explain it to you.

[00:15:55] Yeah, they give you extra.

[00:15:57] They just reteach it to you.

[00:15:58] Oh, okay.

[00:15:59] Yeah, I used to tutor fucking.

[00:16:00] I used to do, I used to be a writing tutor.

[00:16:02] Yeah.

[00:16:02] And it was just like, yeah,

[00:16:04] he would just fucking sit there and be like, okay,

[00:16:06] what's the assignment?

[00:16:07] And what do you think about it?

[00:16:09] And I just walk them through like,

[00:16:11] yeah, to have an intro, a conclusion,

[00:16:13] it's a three bullet points.

[00:16:14] Exactly.

[00:16:15] I'm like, this is a bit,

[00:16:16] what are some of the big ideas in this paragraph?

[00:16:18] Yeah.

[00:16:19] And then we'd sort of reverse outline it

[00:16:21] according to what they had.

[00:16:23] And then we're like, you see how this is all jumbled and fucking stupid?

[00:16:26] Why don't you fucking unjumble it?

[00:16:27] You fucking idiot.

[00:16:29] Yeah.

[00:16:30] And then if I was too bored,

[00:16:32] I would just be like, I'll just fucking do this real fast.

[00:16:34] For the kid, I remember this guy, these two guys.

[00:16:38] It wasn't getting in, I'd be like, fuck it.

[00:16:40] Oh, these two guys I was friends with when I started doing comedy.

[00:16:44] One of them I was good friends with and then he went insane.

[00:16:47] And then the other guy was like, kind of like this weird kind of new agey guy.

[00:16:51] And that's a different guy.

[00:16:52] It's not like a Tyler Durden and you situation.

[00:16:54] No, it's not.

[00:16:55] Yeah.

[00:16:55] You're like, that's a different guy.

[00:16:57] You started putting on chain mail.

[00:16:59] Yeah.

[00:17:01] No, he went nuts.

[00:17:03] But then the other guy who was that kind of new agey and weird,

[00:17:05] who ended up like kind of like leveling out.

[00:17:07] Yeah.

[00:17:07] I think we're like neighbors or something.

[00:17:09] Really?

[00:17:10] He lives in bedside.

[00:17:11] I see him around occasionally.

[00:17:14] But he, that guy, the guy who's now cool.

[00:17:19] I remember he was like, he fucking had these like videotapes he bought

[00:17:23] from some like Canadian guy that like showed you how to like finger like.

[00:17:28] We watched it was a part where we were high.

[00:17:30] We were high.

[00:17:30] And but he took it seriously.

[00:17:32] He was like, it was like this video.

[00:17:33] It was like just hippie woman on a table in this guy named like fucking Claude or some

[00:17:38] shit like massaging this woman.

[00:17:39] And then like fucking he's like, you got to make a woman relax or whatever.

[00:17:43] And he's like, get under the rib cage and like, it's like just bullshit.

[00:17:47] It's not even like good at massage.

[00:17:49] Of course.

[00:17:49] And then 30 minutes in, he's just like violently fingering her.

[00:17:54] He's like squirting all over the place.

[00:17:57] And he's like, you know, for more classes from the holistic wellness.

[00:18:03] So it was like in the middle of like stretches and like, yeah, that kind of shit.

[00:18:07] But then he was like, he was like, yeah, no, this is my friend.

[00:18:10] You know, this is my friend's tape or whatever.

[00:18:12] And then the other guy who went insane, who I was like, you know, better friends with.

[00:18:16] They both like drove the Montreal together, you know, because he's like, yeah,

[00:18:20] we're going to go up to Montreal and stay with my friend or whatever.

[00:18:22] And just hang out.

[00:18:23] Just think.

[00:18:24] Yeah, they were like, yeah, we're going to take a trip to Montreal together.

[00:18:26] And we can stay with my friend.

[00:18:28] And then when they get to Montreal, the guy, the first finger popping

[00:18:32] finger popping guy explains that he's not he's not his friend per se.

[00:18:35] He like paid for like a forum.

[00:18:38] And he was a customer.

[00:18:40] Wasn't friends have never met him before.

[00:18:42] Just showed up in Montreal and then they stay with him.

[00:18:45] Yeah. And then they just like they had to sleep on the floor, I guess.

[00:18:48] The guy even let them in his house.

[00:18:50] I guess. Yeah.

[00:18:51] I mean, this is going back.

[00:18:52] I just remember the other friend like bitching about it.

[00:18:54] He's like, yeah, we get there and he doesn't even know this guy.

[00:18:57] So the guy he claimed to be friends with a guy that was fingering a woman on camera.

[00:19:01] Yeah. Yeah. The finger.

[00:19:03] That was his job.

[00:19:04] He bought he basically bought a video of this guy finger blasting a woman.

[00:19:08] Yeah. Yeah.

[00:19:08] And they told your friend, not only am I friends with him, we can stay.

[00:19:12] We can go to Montreal and stay with him.

[00:19:13] I have friends that I wouldn't let stay in my apartment.

[00:19:16] Yeah. Like that's crazy.

[00:19:17] And then let alone they just bring another guy.

[00:19:22] Yeah. That's awesome.

[00:19:23] But that video was so funny because it's like this is like it's such a shameless thing to make.

[00:19:28] It's absolutely important.

[00:19:28] It's just like pretending it's not pornography.

[00:19:30] Pretending it's not pornography.

[00:19:31] But then being like, I'm really good at fingering.

[00:19:33] Yeah. I'm teaching classes on finger popping.

[00:19:36] I'm gonna sell these.

[00:19:37] This is educational.

[00:19:39] So he bought that.

[00:19:40] I'm pretty sure he bought it.

[00:19:41] Yeah. Respect.

[00:19:42] It very came with the forum subscription.

[00:19:45] Is there some other stuff that you think people should buy?

[00:19:47] That isn't videos of people finger popping?

[00:19:50] Like perhaps.

[00:19:51] Yeah, perhaps.

[00:19:52] It's a couple different things.

[00:19:54] We won't say which one.

[00:19:55] What time is it?

[00:19:56] It's a 20 minutes in.

[00:19:57] Exactly.

[00:20:00] Yes.

[00:20:00] And what does it say there on the thing where it says episode 290?

[00:20:06] Mac Walden underwear.

[00:20:07] Oh my god.

[00:20:08] So if you're getting your pussy blasted by a fucking guy on a page.

[00:20:12] Well, the most important thing with Mac Walden

[00:20:13] is they most likely have some kind of holiday deal.

[00:20:16] It's the holidays folks.

[00:20:17] It's the holidays.

[00:20:18] There's a holiday, either flash sale or some kind of thing.

[00:20:23] I did not get an email from them explaining what it is.

[00:20:26] But rest assured, I guarantee you,

[00:20:28] they got some kind of fucking holiday deal for you.

[00:20:32] It's Christmas is coming up.

[00:20:33] By the way, Mac Walden is an underwear company.

[00:20:36] And they underwear and basics.

[00:20:39] You know, now open.

[00:20:40] They got the gift shop, folks.

[00:20:42] So take the guesswork out of the holidays

[00:20:44] with gifts for everyone on your list.

[00:20:46] Then treat yourself with the time to spare.

[00:20:49] Wow.

[00:20:49] So you can go up there and you could say,

[00:20:51] I got a fucking let's go through the gift shop right now.

[00:20:54] Exit through the gift shop.

[00:20:55] You know what I'm saying?

[00:20:56] Thank you.

[00:20:57] Thank you.

[00:20:58] They have a gift thing under 50 bucks.

[00:21:00] And they got in here a silver swipe glove.

[00:21:03] We can fucking use your phone.

[00:21:05] You could jack off with the gloves on and still operate your phone.

[00:21:08] Oh.

[00:21:08] They got the tech boot sock goes all the way up your fucking boots.

[00:21:11] It keeps you warm.

[00:21:12] It's tech.

[00:21:13] They got the silver boxer brief and the covert belt.

[00:21:17] Nice fucking belt.

[00:21:18] Really makes you look fucking sexy.

[00:21:21] And then you want to fucking go up a hundred to a hundred bucks?

[00:21:24] Whoa.

[00:21:25] You get the ace full zip hooded sweatshirt,

[00:21:28] the ace sweatpants.

[00:21:30] You basically get a fucking nice little,

[00:21:33] you know, fucking combo.

[00:21:35] You get the fucking slipper.

[00:21:36] You get the warm knit flannel.

[00:21:38] And these by the way, they're not a pack.

[00:21:41] I think these are all just one thing.

[00:21:44] But the point is,

[00:21:46] but it's just a section called it's a, it's in a section

[00:21:50] and it lets you know the gift shop.

[00:21:52] Okay.

[00:21:53] And so you're going to want to check that.

[00:21:55] They call it the Brexit through the gift shop special.

[00:21:58] You get union Jack underwear.

[00:22:02] And the Queen of England's face and a gas mask is over your car.

[00:22:05] And you eat potatoes,

[00:22:08] then you put those in between two slices of white bread

[00:22:11] and you pour gravy on it.

[00:22:13] Yeah.

[00:22:13] And you call that,

[00:22:14] that's a fucking full English,

[00:22:16] full English lunch.

[00:22:17] That's a full English.

[00:22:18] The Sherlock Holmes.

[00:22:19] That's right.

[00:22:20] And I just, I don't know about you folks,

[00:22:22] but you boys, I love Macquellan.

[00:22:24] Yeah.

[00:22:24] You know, you're cradling my cock right now as

[00:22:27] do I wear Macquellan?

[00:22:28] No shit Sherlock.

[00:22:30] No shit.

[00:22:30] Sure.

[00:22:32] Macquellan is the official underwear of the show,

[00:22:34] the nanny.

[00:22:36] That's right.

[00:22:36] Mr. Sheffield.

[00:22:38] Where is it in every single episode?

[00:22:39] Sorry, never mind.

[00:22:40] I've never got it.

[00:22:41] In my mind, Sherlock and Mr. Sheffield.

[00:22:43] Because it was part of the same riff in the car.

[00:22:45] Yeah.

[00:22:45] Yeah.

[00:22:46] Yeah.

[00:22:46] I forgot they were two different names.

[00:22:48] So anyway, it's not that.

[00:22:50] My brain is really compressing everything.

[00:22:51] It's okay.

[00:22:52] I'm always confusing Mr. Sheffield from the nanny and Sherlock Holmes.

[00:22:57] Well, yeah.

[00:22:57] Watson also.

[00:22:59] And Watson.

[00:22:59] Not me, friend.

[00:23:01] I'm gay.

[00:23:03] I have a magnifying glass looking at her pussy.

[00:23:06] Yeah.

[00:23:06] Elementary nice pussy, you bitch.

[00:23:09] She looks like an elementary school student's pussy.

[00:23:13] Thank you.

[00:23:13] I know.

[00:23:14] Here's the deal before we...

[00:23:15] My God, it's tight.

[00:23:17] Oh man, I'm a little fuckin' friend.

[00:23:19] The daily wear system is a selection of clothes rooted in smart design.

[00:23:23] Oh, I love it.

[00:23:24] The daily wear is a game Adam plays where he has to find his dick.

[00:23:29] He has to find his dick.

[00:23:30] He's just searching through it.

[00:23:31] Sometimes with that little lice comb that they use.

[00:23:34] And sometimes it's in a man's ass.

[00:23:37] The daily wear?

[00:23:38] Top topping.

[00:23:39] They call Adam's dick walled though.

[00:23:41] Yep.

[00:23:42] Because you can't find it.

[00:23:45] The daily wear system is a selection of clothes.

[00:23:47] I mean, I guess you can, but it takes a while.

[00:23:49] Yeah.

[00:23:50] And that happens every day.

[00:23:51] Adam's dick is usually bruised in damage because it's too soft to handle a woman's vagina.

[00:23:57] Yep, that's true.

[00:23:58] The woman's vagina beats up his knee.

[00:24:01] I beat that penis up.

[00:24:02] Yeah, that's what girls say when they fuck Adam.

[00:24:04] I beat that penis up.

[00:24:06] It takes all bruised.

[00:24:11] But one nice thing is...

[00:24:12] So phantom fun.

[00:24:13] One nice thing is mackerel then underwear.

[00:24:15] Makes your cock feel awesome.

[00:24:18] Even when it's been beat up and bruised by pussy.

[00:24:21] Yeah.

[00:24:22] Which is the thing that does happen to most guys?

[00:24:25] It happens to most guys.

[00:24:27] It's not that weird.

[00:24:29] It's not that weird.

[00:24:29] It's the important thing.

[00:24:31] And what's the promo code?

[00:24:32] Don't make that part.

[00:24:34] Basically, here's the deal, guys.

[00:24:36] You're busy, guys.

[00:24:38] You're busy, guys.

[00:24:39] But part of being a busy guy is like, Steve Jobs used to wear the same clothes.

[00:24:43] Everything.

[00:24:43] He was so busy.

[00:24:45] Preach on it, brother.

[00:24:45] Speak on it.

[00:24:46] He was so busy.

[00:24:47] He wanted to talk to him.

[00:24:48] He wanted less choices in his day.

[00:24:49] Yes, sure.

[00:24:50] He had to make so many important choices.

[00:24:51] He eliminated more than choice.

[00:24:51] He eliminated more than choice.

[00:24:52] He eliminated more than choice.

[00:24:53] Right at the start of your fucking day.

[00:24:55] And one of those other choices was taking your cancer medication.

[00:24:58] That's right.

[00:24:59] He said I'd rather use it.

[00:25:00] Berries and fucking...

[00:25:02] He eliminated mangoes.

[00:25:03] That's shit rules.

[00:25:04] Yeah.

[00:25:05] They tried it.

[00:25:05] Bob, what if I just tried dragon fruits?

[00:25:07] Smoothies.

[00:25:08] Yeah.

[00:25:09] Anyway, so you're a busy guy.

[00:25:12] Most people listen to the show make over $250,000.

[00:25:16] Very busy.

[00:25:18] We should have more of this underwear.

[00:25:20] Well, we're telling you how to do it right now.

[00:25:21] So because you're so busy,

[00:25:22] you got to stop thinking about what you wear.

[00:25:24] And just embrace the radically efficient

[00:25:26] Mac Weldon daily wear system.

[00:25:28] You need to do it.

[00:25:29] So here's what you do.

[00:25:30] You go into your closet,

[00:25:31] you throw out all of your clothes.

[00:25:32] All the bullshit you got in there right now.

[00:25:34] And then you buy anything.

[00:25:36] You buy it.

[00:25:37] There's a selection of clothes rooted in smart design

[00:25:40] made with performance fabrics

[00:25:41] and built most importantly to work together.

[00:25:44] That's one of the hugest, most important elements.

[00:25:46] So in choosing your clothes,

[00:25:48] everything's going to go together.

[00:25:50] So you don't actually have to make the toy.

[00:25:52] And feel together.

[00:25:53] And feel together and be breathable.

[00:25:55] And breathe together.

[00:25:57] Yeah.

[00:25:57] And breathe together.

[00:25:59] They still got those sweatpants.

[00:26:00] They got the A sweatpants.

[00:26:02] They got the sweat shorts.

[00:26:04] They got the silver and the polos.

[00:26:06] They have the do sweatpants.

[00:26:07] They have the radius shorts.

[00:26:08] You can shit right on them.

[00:26:09] You can shit directly in there.

[00:26:10] They're kind of like thanks for men.

[00:26:12] And they're anti-microbial.

[00:26:13] Is that, is that what things are?

[00:26:14] They're where the women should have?

[00:26:16] Period in them.

[00:26:16] Oh.

[00:26:17] Yeah.

[00:26:17] They were free bleeding.

[00:26:19] There had to be one moment.

[00:26:20] It was like, I'm going to try piss also.

[00:26:22] Yeah.

[00:26:22] Yeah.

[00:26:23] As long as we're letting them fly.

[00:26:25] As long as we got the faucet squeaking.

[00:26:27] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:26:28] Absolutely.

[00:26:28] Let's go ahead and touch all the knobs.

[00:26:31] That's fucking.

[00:26:32] Yeah.

[00:26:35] So anyway, here's the important part.

[00:26:38] This shit is truly disgusting.

[00:26:39] When?

[00:26:40] Because that was the same era where they're complaining about men

[00:26:43] having their brains too far.

[00:26:44] Wide apart on the train.

[00:26:45] Yep.

[00:26:46] You know you're having a period on the scene.

[00:26:48] You're putting blood in there.

[00:26:49] In front of a child.

[00:26:50] Did that happen that much?

[00:26:51] It wasn't like four.

[00:26:52] Yes.

[00:26:52] It was happening constant.

[00:26:53] It was happening all the time.

[00:26:55] Yeah.

[00:26:56] It was during the Jezebel years.

[00:26:59] Yeah.

[00:26:59] I'd like to refer to them.

[00:27:00] I think it was.

[00:27:01] That was when people were making yogurt in their pussy also.

[00:27:04] Mm-hmm.

[00:27:04] Remember that?

[00:27:04] Pretty much every woman.

[00:27:05] Was that four or five years ago?

[00:27:07] No, it was longer than that.

[00:27:08] 2012, 13.

[00:27:09] OK.

[00:27:10] Yeah.

[00:27:10] Guess maybe I was still in Baltimore.

[00:27:12] It hadn't gotten to us yet.

[00:27:13] Anyway, here's the deal, guys.

[00:27:14] Oh, fuck.

[00:27:14] I almost unplugged it.

[00:27:16] Here's the deal for 20% off your first order.

[00:27:18] For 20% off your first order, you visit macwilden.com

[00:27:22] slash comtown20.

[00:27:24] And you enter in the promo code comtown20.

[00:27:26] Mm-hmm.

[00:27:27] That's macwilden.com slash comtown20.

[00:27:30] Promo code comtown20 for 20% off Macwilden.

[00:27:33] Wow.

[00:27:35] Bratically efficient wardrobe.

[00:27:36] Radical efficient wardrobe.

[00:27:37] And let's not forget the Christmas shopping.

[00:27:40] And the gift shop.

[00:27:43] The gifts.

[00:27:44] Don't forget the gift shop.

[00:27:45] Don't forget that.

[00:27:46] I have already forgotten it myself.

[00:27:47] And that's why you're a fucking idiot.

[00:27:49] And let me just say another thing you guys should forget

[00:27:51] is that the Prince of Pleasure Tour continues.

[00:27:53] The pleasure continues, folks.

[00:27:55] And I don't exactly know what my dates will be right now.

[00:27:59] But San Diego.

[00:28:00] I'm coming to the West Coast.

[00:28:01] San Diego, Las Vegas, San Francisco.

[00:28:05] I'm coming to Austin.

[00:28:06] I'm coming to Dallas, Vancouver, Chicago.

[00:28:10] San Francisco.

[00:28:11] San Francisco.

[00:28:13] I'm having delicious buttery little fucking cookies.

[00:28:16] Yeah.

[00:28:16] And you're sliding around all over the other town.

[00:28:20] I think I'm also going to be in Brooklyn.

[00:28:22] I'm going to be doing Pantheon on the 15th.

[00:28:24] Maybe that's today.

[00:28:25] Could be.

[00:28:26] Flaunthion.

[00:28:27] Potentially.

[00:28:28] It's a night.

[00:28:28] Flaunthion.

[00:28:30] So get tickets for that.

[00:28:31] Pancake.

[00:28:32] Pancake, theon.

[00:28:33] Pancake, theon.

[00:28:34] Yeah.

[00:28:35] And yeah, that's fucking it.

[00:28:38] I don't fucking know.

[00:28:39] Stavi.biz slash tour.

[00:28:41] I am hitting the road, though.

[00:28:42] So things are up in the air right now a little bit.

[00:28:44] But I'm coming to the cities I just said.

[00:28:46] So check my website for the exact dates for that.

[00:28:49] Adam's on the road also.

[00:28:51] Yeah, but I'll.

[00:28:52] It's got a hot date with Destiny.

[00:28:53] In the ego.

[00:28:54] Did I say that already?

[00:28:54] I forgot.

[00:28:55] Hot date with Lydestany.

[00:28:57] Yeah.

[00:28:58] Lydestany.

[00:28:59] I'm going to.

[00:28:59] We've had a relationship on AOL and Symmeseter for a while.

[00:29:04] I'm going out to.

[00:29:04] Have you seen a picture of her?

[00:29:05] Lydestany?

[00:29:06] You're girlfriend from Canada.

[00:29:07] Yeah, I saw a couple.

[00:29:09] I saw a couple of pics.

[00:29:10] And you guys from sure FaceTime.

[00:29:11] Yeah.

[00:29:12] The weird thing was that she had.

[00:29:13] She had a broken.

[00:29:14] She had the Getty Images watermark.

[00:29:17] Because she's famous.

[00:29:18] On her pictures.

[00:29:20] I don't think she's talking to Christina Milian.

[00:29:23] No.

[00:29:25] I think I'm talking to the Vern Cox.

[00:29:28] Which of?

[00:29:30] Oh, he probably doesn't want to mention.

[00:29:31] Yeah, yeah.

[00:29:33] We won't say it, but you can probably figure out who might be.

[00:29:37] Yeah.

[00:29:37] Oh, yeah.

[00:29:41] But we won't say it.

[00:29:43] You can do a little.

[00:29:44] You can think about it for one second.

[00:29:46] His Raj now is so funny.

[00:29:47] He's like, yeah, I bought it just.

[00:29:49] Yeah.

[00:29:49] Oh, yeah.

[00:29:50] He's like, I didn't want it to fuck up her career, which

[00:29:53] is like very sweet.

[00:29:54] Yeah.

[00:29:54] But also, it's like just that in his mind.

[00:29:57] Believe in yourself.

[00:29:57] And you're like, listen, you've got to get kicked off the show.

[00:29:59] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:30:00] We found out who you fought.

[00:30:04] Anyway, so yeah.

[00:30:07] So fucking underwear, man.

[00:30:10] Just keep doing the read for it until the next read.

[00:30:13] Dad, you're speaking my language.

[00:30:16] Why don't we get four reads in an episode, and then we get 15?

[00:30:19] Honestly, you know what?

[00:30:20] I might do that the final year.

[00:30:24] I read every 15 minutes.

[00:30:26] Read every 15 minutes.

[00:30:27] That's what people want.

[00:30:28] They love hearing about it.

[00:30:29] They love about it.

[00:30:30] Because hearing about these products.

[00:30:31] They love it.

[00:30:32] We kind of tell them about products.

[00:30:34] And that's mostly what the show is.

[00:30:35] And what's nice about knowing that they love it

[00:30:37] is it makes me feel in touch with the audience.

[00:30:39] Because that's really who we do this.

[00:30:40] We do it for them.

[00:30:41] We do it for you guys.

[00:30:42] Because knowing that if you can brighten someone's day

[00:30:46] with laughter.

[00:30:47] Yeah, dude, that's why I do this.

[00:30:50] With the gift of laughter.

[00:30:52] With honesty.

[00:30:53] It makes all the bullshit.

[00:30:55] It makes all the bullshit alive for free.

[00:30:57] Your boss is on your ass.

[00:30:59] All the fucking pain.

[00:31:00] All your bills are gone.

[00:31:01] All the crap is just getting to you.

[00:31:03] Remind you that we're in this together.

[00:31:06] All we have is each other.

[00:31:07] And let's share a laugh.

[00:31:08] And let's grab a beer and share a laugh.

[00:31:10] And that's why come to see me on tour.

[00:31:13] Stavi.biz slash tour.

[00:31:14] Don't come up after the show.

[00:31:16] Don't say hi to special mom.

[00:31:18] Unless you're buying merch.

[00:31:19] In which case.

[00:31:21] Tim Tillam was telling me about a comic

[00:31:24] that is one of those guys.

[00:31:25] Yeah, yeah.

[00:31:26] Isis, no, not on my fucking jacket, you bitch.

[00:31:29] That I see.

[00:31:31] Let me go get my jacket.

[00:31:32] She's good.

[00:31:33] She can.

[00:31:34] Excuse me?

[00:31:36] What was that fucking tone out of her?

[00:31:38] What?

[00:31:39] Just get your jacket.

[00:31:41] What do you mean?

[00:31:43] Don't fucking tell me to fucking just get my jacket.

[00:31:45] She doesn't speak English.

[00:31:47] I don't know.

[00:31:47] Don't fucking tell me to just get it.

[00:31:49] My credit card fell out.

[00:31:51] My money in my credit card fell out.

[00:31:53] Thank you, there Nick.

[00:31:54] Could you grab those two things?

[00:31:55] Oh, Joe Biden should have his pants.

[00:31:57] What the fuck is that?

[00:31:58] Why do you have a wrist wallet?

[00:32:00] Excuse me?

[00:32:01] Let's wait until the fucking read.

[00:32:02] And then we can discuss it.

[00:32:04] I have that.

[00:32:05] I've done 25 wallets.

[00:32:07] I'm just fucking alligator.

[00:32:09] I don't know.

[00:32:10] I like it.

[00:32:12] It's just going to be poor forever.

[00:32:15] It's just never going to be poor.

[00:32:17] That's honestly one of the funniest things I ever saw was being drunk as shit and then

[00:32:22] asking Chris Hudson for money for more beer after doing the show.

[00:32:25] He pulls his wallet out and it's like a regular wallet.

[00:32:29] And the money is just shoved it like it's crumpled up.

[00:32:31] Yeah.

[00:32:32] It's not in its flat.

[00:32:33] Yeah.

[00:32:34] Yeah.

[00:32:35] That's good shit.

[00:32:36] Apparently the rumor is in Rome.

[00:32:39] This is from the October meeting between the...

[00:32:42] Right.

[00:32:43] Which people are still buzzing about to this day.

[00:32:44] The Pope and Biden have been talking about it for two months and a half.

[00:32:49] Was that our president pooped his pants while meeting the Pope?

[00:32:51] That's fucking awesome.

[00:32:54] That is so fucking sick.

[00:32:56] He can barely talk.

[00:32:57] He's shitting himself.

[00:32:58] I would love that more than anything after like four years of being like Trump wears diapers.

[00:33:02] It's like no, he has a big beautiful ass.

[00:33:05] Yep.

[00:33:06] Yeah, he's got a big old dumper.

[00:33:07] Yeah.

[00:33:08] What does he have?

[00:33:10] Apple bottom dumper diapers?

[00:33:12] Yeah, he does.

[00:33:13] That's clearly not a diaper.

[00:33:15] It's a fat big pussy.

[00:33:17] It's made by baby fat.

[00:33:20] Camore Lee Simmons makes the diapers for Trump.

[00:33:23] There's a video.

[00:33:24] I hold the way he would stand when they would show you a picture of him at the podium and

[00:33:26] see him like to face.

[00:33:28] Yeah.

[00:33:29] And he would just...

[00:33:30] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:33:31] He's in a stance.

[00:33:32] He's just assed.

[00:33:33] It's crazy, dude.

[00:33:34] Yeah.

[00:33:35] Something's so fucked up with his lower back.

[00:33:36] Mm-hmm.

[00:33:37] He just can't stand still.

[00:33:38] I can't wait to have that.

[00:33:39] To be leading like that?

[00:33:40] Yeah, this look like a centaur.

[00:33:42] Yeah, that must be all so good to stretch it.

[00:33:44] Mm-hmm.

[00:33:45] Ooh, my dick just got hard thinking of stretching my back out.

[00:33:48] So barely there was supposed to be a live broadcast of their meeting that was canceled

[00:33:52] abruptly because he smelled like shit.

[00:33:55] And I believe the reason is because he shit so much that it fucked up with wires that he

[00:34:01] crapped in the Pope's camping chair.

[00:34:04] In Vatican City.

[00:34:07] So I mean, you know, doesn't mean he's a bad guy.

[00:34:12] Doesn't.

[00:34:13] Nick, you were saying, you're some guy that was a...

[00:34:15] That was a do it for the fucking...

[00:34:17] For...

[00:34:18] Do it for the fucking happiness.

[00:34:20] Chris Distafano on Twitter.

[00:34:22] If I didn't just shit his pants.

[00:34:24] So maybe it did happen.

[00:34:26] Mm-hmm.

[00:34:27] No, there's Chris Distafano just making a joke from months ago.

[00:34:31] So maybe it didn't happen.

[00:34:36] So who fucking gives a fuck actually?

[00:34:38] No, I need to get to the bottom of this.

[00:34:42] Fuck Joe Biden, Kathy Griffin.

[00:34:45] Maybe she Kathy Griffin died.

[00:34:48] RIP.

[00:34:49] RIP will fuck it to what?

[00:34:52] Honestly, the outpouring of love from the stand-up comedy community will be the same

[00:34:57] as when Norm McDonald died.

[00:34:59] Yeah.

[00:35:00] Yeah, I think Griffin died.

[00:35:02] Yeah.

[00:35:03] God damn, dude.

[00:35:06] Fuck, dude.

[00:35:08] Wait, no, hold on.

[00:35:12] So what's the story?

[00:35:13] Where did he cry?

[00:35:14] He's shit in the popes hat.

[00:35:16] Apparently he was visiting the pope.

[00:35:19] And there's some...

[00:35:20] I mean, this isn't very good evidence that they're putting forward, but apparently he

[00:35:26] had very stiff posture.

[00:35:28] Mm.

[00:35:29] They're calling him to make sure they're crying and shit himself today in Rome while meeting

[00:35:33] with the pope.

[00:35:34] And this is not satire.

[00:35:35] New York Times.

[00:35:36] This is, yeah, this is coming from AP directly.

[00:35:39] Mm-hmm.

[00:35:40] Hey, Pussy.

[00:35:41] Yeah.

[00:35:42] While it was being rumored that Joe's age is a blame for the incident, people close to

[00:35:46] Joe says it was a shart.

[00:35:49] It's New York Times.

[00:35:53] Just a shart, the man is innocent.

[00:35:57] That's how they picked the new pope.

[00:35:59] Yeah.

[00:36:00] He's a...

[00:36:01] President of the United States goes to Rome and shits himself when his finger lands...

[00:36:08] Every...

[00:36:09] The Cardinals take turns pulling his finger.

[00:36:10] Yeah.

[00:36:11] And he...

[00:36:12] Shit, boy.

[00:36:13] Whoever shits it when they ever make some shit.

[00:36:14] I'll tell you something.

[00:36:17] This is a mess that Gen Zaki won't want to be making up.

[00:36:20] This is here.

[00:36:21] Here we go.

[00:36:22] Very nicely done, Adam.

[00:36:24] Thanks, bro.

[00:36:25] That's really good shit right there.

[00:36:27] And that's where we transition to a morning story.

[00:36:29] Again, I've said before, a lot of people have different styles of going to the bathroom,

[00:36:34] and we can discuss that at a different date.

[00:36:38] But right now, what's important is remembering that we're on a track to use bathrooms in

[00:36:45] a more responsible manner or more adult manner.

[00:36:49] And it's he had a yuhu in his pocket.

[00:36:51] Yeah.

[00:36:52] And that's what...

[00:36:53] That is what actually burst.

[00:36:54] Mm-hmm.

[00:36:55] And can I just say, fuck you.

[00:36:57] And fuck those little gay-ass motherfucking Mexican children on the border.

[00:37:01] Yeah.

[00:37:02] I don't give a fuck.

[00:37:03] Yeah.

[00:37:04] It's actually good that children are being executed on the border because...

[00:37:09] Climate change.

[00:37:10] Well, because the gay ones get us their own little bathroom.

[00:37:13] Yeah.

[00:37:14] We're giving out rainbow.

[00:37:16] We're giving out rainbow.

[00:37:18] Yeah.

[00:37:19] Uh, Deb.

[00:37:21] Gen Z...

[00:37:22] You think if I dicked her down, she'd start telling the truth.

[00:37:24] Yeah.

[00:37:25] Gen Zaki?

[00:37:26] Maybe I can cure her.

[00:37:27] Oh, you think she's full of crap?

[00:37:29] I think she's full of effing crap.

[00:37:31] I think she's a crap mate.

[00:37:32] From where I'm sitting, she's a straight shooter.

[00:37:34] You think you're a straight shooter?

[00:37:36] Yeah, that's what I like most about you.

[00:37:38] She tells it like it is.

[00:37:40] I think I fudicted down.

[00:37:41] Maybe I could knock some truth into her.

[00:37:43] You know what I'm saying?

[00:37:44] Yeah.

[00:37:45] Would you smash with Gen Zaki?

[00:37:48] If it would stop the launch.

[00:37:50] For your country.

[00:37:51] Same thing with that other blonde bitch from Trump.

[00:37:54] Oh, yeah.

[00:37:55] You hear whatever the fuck you're doing?

[00:37:57] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:37:58] Absolutely.

[00:37:59] Yeah, it's Kyle Griffin.

[00:38:00] Kyle Griffin, the guy who's not Matteo, is responding.

[00:38:02] This is a lie.

[00:38:03] This is the lie.

[00:38:04] Yeah.

[00:38:05] To what?

[00:38:06] To this story about the...

[00:38:08] Oh.

[00:38:09] Yeah, I thought that guy was Matteo for years.

[00:38:12] Oh, I guess he got into a car accident and then conservatives have been posting that

[00:38:16] he had an accident.

[00:38:18] Ha ha ha ha ha.

[00:38:19] I'm a rich bag.

[00:38:21] Game-recognized game.

[00:38:22] So that's what I think.

[00:38:24] Their lies are way more fun.

[00:38:25] They're on the fucking Lincoln project dressing up a bunch of fucking dorks and tiki outfits.

[00:38:29] Yeah.

[00:38:30] Being like, this is something they would do.

[00:38:32] Yeah.

[00:38:33] You know, Lincoln project, you want to talk about a group of people that gets no pussy

[00:38:36] whatsoever.

[00:38:37] Yeah.

[00:38:38] It's the fucking link.

[00:38:39] I'll slap that guy in his fucking face.

[00:38:40] Yeah.

[00:38:41] What's the main guy's name?

[00:38:42] He's Rick.

[00:38:43] He's a pedophile, right?

[00:38:44] Rick.

[00:38:45] One of them's a porn.

[00:38:46] Is that his name?

[00:38:47] I don't fucking know.

[00:38:48] Yeah, something like that.

[00:38:49] I just fucking fuck all those guys up.

[00:38:51] They can suck my dick and balls.

[00:38:53] And all the fucking losers, they're like, we need this.

[00:38:56] We need a sense on our sanity.

[00:38:59] Yeah.

[00:39:00] I'm just like, shut up.

[00:39:01] Shut up and suck my fucking gagoules.

[00:39:05] My fucking strunes.

[00:39:07] My fucking sazizal zeech.

[00:39:09] Salzeech.

[00:39:10] I got a fucking little sazizal zeech for all you fucking, let's meet in the middle type

[00:39:14] motherfuckers right here.

[00:39:16] I got it for you.

[00:39:19] I got a nice little sausage and peppers and the peppers are my balls, by the way.

[00:39:23] Weird long balls.

[00:39:24] No, they're little round cute peppers.

[00:39:26] All testicles.

[00:39:27] No, not the long Italian peppers.

[00:39:28] That's what my dick looks like, even though it's a sausage.

[00:39:32] It's a sausage that looks like that.

[00:39:34] But it's two rounds.

[00:39:35] Your dick looks like pepper's mid-slite and your balls look like...

[00:39:38] No, I don't think...

[00:39:39] The balls look like Roku remotes.

[00:39:41] You got tall testicles.

[00:39:43] What the fuck?

[00:39:44] You got some tall teas, dude.

[00:39:47] Dude, not disparaged by nuts.

[00:39:50] Listen, I take tall balls, how lucky is this?

[00:39:54] I take a lot of physical mockery on this show.

[00:40:00] I was about to say abuse, but Adam is the one who takes the abuse.

[00:40:03] But I take my physical appearances disparaged many times.

[00:40:06] I'm asked questions like, do you ever have an elephant solution to a problem?

[00:40:11] Things like that happen to me quite a bit.

[00:40:16] But I will not have my fat plump little nuts disparaged because they're one of the parts

[00:40:21] of my body that I'm the most comfortable with.

[00:40:24] I won't have you wrecking one of the basic foundations of what I love about myself, which

[00:40:30] is my fat nuts that multiple girls have called cool.

[00:40:33] And then some have said they feel nice when they slap on their pushes when I hit it from

[00:40:37] the back.

[00:40:38] I won't have you coming over here and saying I have tall balls because I have fat plump

[00:40:42] little fucking bean bags and the whores love them.

[00:40:47] Well now we can say why do you have a ridge wallet and say this is bullshit.

[00:40:50] Oh yeah.

[00:40:51] I have an answer for that.

[00:40:53] My money is in a fucking clip.

[00:40:56] I think the reason is that if I had maybe a duffle bag full of ridge wallets, it would

[00:41:01] be very easy for me to have a ridge wallet.

[00:41:03] I already told you you can have the duffle.

[00:41:04] Well, I don't have it yet and I'm going to milk this until I do.

[00:41:08] I got something you can milk now.

[00:41:13] It's the lactate cow.

[00:41:15] Oh, I would milk the lactate.

[00:41:16] Yeah.

[00:41:17] I thought about that again, you know, because I spent a lot of time.

[00:41:20] I'm like, why am I not happy?

[00:41:21] I feel like I have everything I've ever wanted.

[00:41:24] I was like, well, and then I imagine myself married to the lactate cow.

[00:41:28] Oh yeah.

[00:41:29] It's like I'll never have that.

[00:41:30] Let me just take a look at the lactate cow to get me in the zone for this read when

[00:41:34] she's like sitting at the counter table.

[00:41:36] Or a kitchen table.

[00:41:39] It looks she's giving you this look like, you know, she doesn't really mind that you've

[00:41:43] gotten the second DUI.

[00:41:44] Yeah.

[00:41:45] Yeah.

[00:41:46] You know what?

[00:41:47] I think it's cool.

[00:41:48] I would like to have bigger tits.

[00:41:49] If you're an as man, you're probably more of a lactate cow guy.

[00:41:52] I'm a, I'm a, look, as much as I appreciate a nice fat juicy ass as well, I am more of

[00:41:58] a taty's guy, a gun to my head.

[00:42:01] But she has a nice sweet, you know, there's something about her that I enjoy a lot.

[00:42:04] Well, that's why I said, married to the lactate cow, not fucking the lactate cow.

[00:42:07] Well, I'm milking it though.

[00:42:09] You're married to it and you're fantasy.

[00:42:11] You have something I can milk is the lactate cow.

[00:42:13] And you have to pay me for it.

[00:42:15] Oh, it's your wife.

[00:42:16] Pay me for my wife's milk.

[00:42:18] But I milk her with my mouth.

[00:42:19] You can do whatever the fuck you want.

[00:42:21] I don't care as long as I get paid.

[00:42:27] Your fantasy is you're pimping out your wife the lactate cow to your close friends.

[00:42:32] That's right.

[00:42:33] I'm not even a stranger.

[00:42:35] That's why you'll have to see again many times.

[00:42:37] That's what makes me happy.

[00:42:40] Well, that's, and you know where you're going to keep all the money from pimping out your

[00:42:45] life in your rich wallet.

[00:42:47] In your rich wallet.

[00:42:48] And I'm running, take a look at the website.

[00:42:49] A father and son team Daniel and Paul Kane launched the Ridge Wallet on Kickstarter in

[00:42:54] 2013.

[00:42:55] It's awesome.

[00:42:56] And now it sits in the front pockets of over a million men and women worldwide.

[00:43:00] Holy shit.

[00:43:01] The two have since recruited a small close knit team to execute on their vision of creating

[00:43:06] quality and functional products.

[00:43:08] This is one of the most actual and real companies that we talk about on the show.

[00:43:15] We actually, of all the companies that we take money from to pretend we like, we actually

[00:43:19] really like this company.

[00:43:20] And this is, and you know what, I'll say the dick, Phil.

[00:43:22] See, they've helped me out.

[00:43:23] But we'll just say this company, their products are great.

[00:43:28] The people are nice.

[00:43:30] And you can feel the Fucksmanship, Craftsmanship, in every fucking piece of shit, every fucking

[00:43:36] nice little metallic wallet they give you.

[00:43:39] You know, I don't know if you guys have been reading Tucker or watching Tucker recently.

[00:43:43] I have it every night.

[00:43:44] Every night I drink my 11 beers and I sit down and I watch Tucker.

[00:43:49] But I say I put on my sunglasses and say the truth.

[00:43:54] And I have to take them off because I can't see the TV.

[00:43:58] Well, here's the thing, I saw an interesting segment about how New York City is a war zone

[00:44:03] now.

[00:44:04] Right.

[00:44:05] And that's why I have a gun, which is scary.

[00:44:06] New York City is a war zone.

[00:44:09] I don't have a gun because I don't want to get a black cell.

[00:44:15] I don't trust myself.

[00:44:16] You don't want to shoot yourself in the fight and go to jail for five minutes.

[00:44:18] I don't trust myself to, you know, coming in heavy.

[00:44:21] You know what I mean?

[00:44:22] Of course.

[00:44:23] Well, I'm always strapped.

[00:44:24] But what I do, you'll never catch me laughing.

[00:44:25] What I do have as a person with a generally nervous temperament in New York City is a

[00:44:32] Kevlar Ridge wallet.

[00:44:36] Because when someone's trying to steal my money, typically they will shoot you in the

[00:44:42] wall.

[00:44:43] Yeah.

[00:44:44] So that is, that's one of the products that, that I'm proudly that you probably have.

[00:44:51] I proudly use.

[00:44:52] And look, the Ridge wallet, they got the wall is fucking nice.

[00:44:56] It helps me to fucking organize all my shit.

[00:44:59] Very easy.

[00:45:00] It's fucking sleek.

[00:45:02] And they got a bunch of other nice stuff.

[00:45:04] They got bags.

[00:45:05] They got, you know, what else Adam, you're on the website.

[00:45:08] They got bags, card cases.

[00:45:10] They have gear.

[00:45:11] They have knives.

[00:45:12] No, I have a knife.

[00:45:13] It's nice.

[00:45:14] They have carbon bottle openers.

[00:45:17] Wow.

[00:45:18] You can keep in your Ridge wallet.

[00:45:20] And when it's beer o'clock, you can crack that cocksucker.

[00:45:24] Cocksucker.

[00:45:25] Cocksucker open.

[00:45:26] Crack that cocksucker open.

[00:45:27] Crack that cocksucker open.

[00:45:29] Cocksucker is what you have for dinner every day.

[00:45:32] Cocksucker?

[00:45:33] Yeah, yeah.

[00:45:34] You ring a big bell.

[00:45:35] He got like, Supper's on.

[00:45:36] And I'm in the field.

[00:45:37] And you run it and you're sucking a big fat cow.

[00:45:40] And the lactate cows made dicks for Adam.

[00:45:43] And she goes and rings the triangle.

[00:45:45] They also have something called counting stops running, putting it into my Ridge wallet.

[00:45:51] I don't know.

[00:45:52] I said, business is a boom.

[00:45:55] That's the word.

[00:45:57] That's going to be the world.

[00:45:58] That's smart.

[00:45:59] You should run.

[00:46:00] You got King Trump.

[00:46:01] You should run us like it's like it's a factory town like Amazon where it's like, oh, wow.

[00:46:05] You got a cash.

[00:46:06] You got a script.

[00:46:07] You pay us in tokens to milk your wife in wall box.

[00:46:12] They have a product.

[00:46:13] This is interesting.

[00:46:14] It's called the hook.

[00:46:17] And what it is is a door opener.

[00:46:20] So it's I suppose if you don't want to touch a sanitary door open, if you don't want to

[00:46:24] touch doors, you can get this hook.

[00:46:26] And guess what?

[00:46:27] The hook also has a beer opener.

[00:46:29] You should probably buy that because I guarantee you nobody's going to be making those in six

[00:46:35] months.

[00:46:36] Yeah.

[00:46:37] That was a real psycho move.

[00:46:39] That's going to be a limited run.

[00:46:42] Yeah.

[00:46:43] So grab those.

[00:46:44] People were doing that.

[00:46:45] Yeah.

[00:46:46] Insane.

[00:46:47] Oh, yeah.

[00:46:48] There's a fucking Ridge wallet.

[00:46:49] I got a cane to keep people at a distance.

[00:46:53] At a fair distance.

[00:46:54] I get a six foot cane and I would extend it.

[00:46:56] And if I was at a restaurant or something, I'd just prod people along the way.

[00:47:00] Was I trying to go to the bathroom?

[00:47:02] Push them further into their booze as I walked down the aisle.

[00:47:06] Or just give them a nice whack.

[00:47:07] And here's a review from verified buyer Paul C. He says, a great guy.

[00:47:12] Great tool, especially now that COVID-19.

[00:47:14] You think that's Paul Giamatti?

[00:47:16] Yeah.

[00:47:17] I think it is.

[00:47:18] Paul Ciamatti.

[00:47:19] Paul C is his middle name.

[00:47:20] But his last name is Giamatti.

[00:47:21] Paul Cuntolini Giamatti.

[00:47:22] Yeah.

[00:47:23] Yeah.

[00:47:24] Paul can't come Giamatti.

[00:47:25] So he's the deal, guys.

[00:47:26] I'm going to buy.

[00:47:27] I'm going to buy.

[00:47:28] I'm going to buy nuts.

[00:47:29] Don't work.

[00:47:30] Oh, geez.

[00:47:31] I'm not sure I'm working.

[00:47:32] I'm going to go crazy.

[00:47:33] Yeah.

[00:47:34] Yeah.

[00:47:35] Yeah.

[00:47:36] Yeah.

[00:47:37] Yeah.

[00:47:38] Yeah.

[00:47:39] Yeah.

[00:47:42] I'm going to go crazy.

[00:47:45] Why not still working?

[00:47:46] Here's a dinky mouse.

[00:47:47] I told you about it.

[00:47:48] Why not?

[00:47:49] Oh, no.

[00:47:50] It's so overreenters.

[00:47:51] Does it work?

[00:47:52] I'm gay.

[00:47:53] I'm gay and I'm drinking burlow.

[00:47:54] I'm dry.

[00:47:55] I can't get pussy from that Chinese lady.

[00:47:57] Because I'm gay.

[00:47:58] Classic, classic joke sideways.

[00:48:01] I love this.

[00:48:02] Yes.

[00:48:03] It's about gay.

[00:48:04] Everyone knows where you're going, Nick.

[00:48:06] Everyone fill in the blank.

[00:48:08] Look, I'm an old man with simple pleasures in this world.

[00:48:13] Everyone at home knows where Nick is going.

[00:48:16] Yeah.

[00:48:17] You've got the on one side.

[00:48:19] I'm just going to be describing.

[00:48:20] So for X.

[00:48:21] I'm going to be describing old racist jokes the way like Pauli Walnuts talks about doing chin-ups

[00:48:26] in the arm.

[00:48:27] Yeah.

[00:48:28] Oh, thanks for.

[00:48:30] Thanks for saying.

[00:48:32] Maybe it was in the arm.

[00:48:33] It's Marines.

[00:48:34] You don't know which one it was.

[00:48:36] I feel like he says the core, but maybe I'm wrong.

[00:48:40] Anyway, here's the deal.

[00:48:41] I just put the hook door opener in my shopping cart.

[00:48:44] Yeah.

[00:48:45] And I hit checkout.

[00:48:46] Awesome.

[00:48:47] And then I put in the promo code come down.

[00:48:49] Mm-hmm.

[00:48:50] And the $40 hook door opener.

[00:48:54] And I said that because it's such a good deal.

[00:48:56] Yeah.

[00:48:57] It's only $40.

[00:49:00] It's only $40.

[00:49:01] For a hook that opens doors.

[00:49:03] Oh my God.

[00:49:06] I jumped on that immediately.

[00:49:08] Think about how many things made out of brass.

[00:49:10] You know how much fucking coronavirus cost?

[00:49:12] The hospitals got $17,000 of that insurance.

[00:49:15] You get that hook.

[00:49:16] You were guaranteed to not get coronavirus.

[00:49:18] You'll never get coronavirus.

[00:49:19] Look, we all know by now the vaccines don't work.

[00:49:22] Right.

[00:49:23] It's December.

[00:49:24] Yeah.

[00:49:25] It's come out.

[00:49:26] The vaccines don't work.

[00:49:27] Yep.

[00:49:28] The only thing that works.

[00:49:29] The ones the hook.

[00:49:30] It's the hook in the $40.

[00:49:31] And for $40, that's a fucking deal.

[00:49:33] Anthony Fauci had to admit it.

[00:49:35] Well, no.

[00:49:36] Not only is the hook the only thing that prevents coronavirus, he's also gay.

[00:49:39] Stop gross.

[00:49:41] Here's where I come in.

[00:49:43] I think $40.

[00:49:44] And he invented HIV.

[00:49:45] Oh, you think it's too much.

[00:49:47] But then I put in the promo code come down.

[00:49:50] And boom.

[00:49:51] The hook is now $36.

[00:49:53] Oh my God.

[00:49:55] Well now it's fucking run to the website.

[00:49:58] That is 10%.

[00:49:59] That's more than 10%.

[00:50:01] $40.

[00:50:02] $36 is you divide 40 by 40, 36.

[00:50:07] Yup.

[00:50:08] You divide 40 by 30.

[00:50:10] And you get.

[00:50:11] That is a 100% discount.

[00:50:13] You were getting a 50%.

[00:50:15] Well, it's a, it is.

[00:50:16] You're right.

[00:50:17] It is a 100% discount because 100, 100% of 40 is 40.

[00:50:20] Yep.

[00:50:21] And what is the price now?

[00:50:22] $36.

[00:50:23] So it's not $40 anymore.

[00:50:24] $36 is 0% 40.

[00:50:26] Yep.

[00:50:27] It's not 40 is 100.

[00:50:30] 40 is 100% 40.

[00:50:31] 36 is 100% not 40.

[00:50:33] Correct.

[00:50:34] So it's 100% discount.

[00:50:35] This count.

[00:50:36] Beautiful.

[00:50:37] And that's the kind of statistics I'm doing at covidtruthfast.com.

[00:50:41] It proves that they vaccine don't work.

[00:50:45] And Anthony Fauci invented HIV to get revenge on the gay community for being too small to

[00:50:50] fuck.

[00:50:51] Yeah.

[00:50:52] And that's, that's some of you guys are going to want to keep an eye out on.

[00:50:56] So look, for Christmas, buy people a fucking hook.

[00:50:59] They're going to need it.

[00:51:00] Buy a hook by Kevlar wallet.

[00:51:02] Why Kevlar wallet because these were not going to say what kind of people, but who else?

[00:51:07] Okay.

[00:51:08] Yeah.

[00:51:09] They are shooting people in the wallet.

[00:51:11] Whoa, Adam.

[00:51:13] What the fuck?

[00:51:15] That's fucked up.

[00:51:16] I was not talking.

[00:51:17] Yeah.

[00:51:18] So buy that.

[00:51:19] And listen, buy a Stavi baby fucking 2022 calendar by this pointer on sale and they're

[00:51:24] fucking flying off the shelves.

[00:51:26] You fucking check out com.town.

[00:51:28] Hopefully the shirts will be back up.

[00:51:30] Yeah.

[00:51:31] I'll have some shirts up for Christmas on sale.

[00:51:35] Stop it.biz slash I think shopper some shit.

[00:51:38] The point is buy yourself a fucking calendar.

[00:51:40] Buy yourself Mac welding.

[00:51:42] Buy yourself.

[00:51:43] What was the first one?

[00:51:46] Ridge wallet.

[00:51:47] But before that, we only did two at Mac welding.

[00:51:50] That's right.

[00:51:51] You said that.

[00:51:52] Did I say that before?

[00:51:54] You said what was the first one?

[00:51:56] You said buy yourself Mac welding.

[00:51:58] What was the first one?

[00:51:59] You said buy yourself Ridge wallet.

[00:52:00] Buy Mac welding.

[00:52:01] What was the first one?

[00:52:02] Damn bro.

[00:52:03] I'm really barely barely making it through today.

[00:52:05] I'm feeling good now.

[00:52:06] Now that I've got some of those now that I've been spending the entire episode eating peanut

[00:52:09] butter pretzels.

[00:52:10] Yeah.

[00:52:11] What a combo.

[00:52:12] It's a great snack.

[00:52:13] It's a great snack.

[00:52:14] I would you know what I'd love.

[00:52:15] 20% 20% no 20% of those that you could milk and charge.

[00:52:20] No, no, that's your dream.

[00:52:23] Yeah.

[00:52:24] I'm stealing from you.

[00:52:25] I'm not a copier.

[00:52:26] That's true.

[00:52:27] Why?

[00:52:28] Two weeks from now, I'm talking about who's in love with the lactate cow.

[00:52:30] And then he's never wanted to eat ramen in his life.

[00:52:34] Well, I've been in it, dude.

[00:52:35] I'm fully in love with the lactate.

[00:52:37] That's huge, man.

[00:52:38] Congratulations.

[00:52:39] And that's why I'm sad.

[00:52:40] No, I'll preface it by saying like, I don't, guys, be nice.

[00:52:43] I'm about to say something.

[00:52:45] This might be crazy.

[00:52:47] Yeah.

[00:52:48] Here's what I love in that tub of peanut butter pretzels.

[00:52:54] What would you like?

[00:52:55] Boy's penis.

[00:52:56] About 20% no, about 20% filled with chocolate.

[00:53:00] And you get a little pretzel, just a little random assortment of a couple of chocolate

[00:53:05] pretzels.

[00:53:06] And I like that that would take it to the next level.

[00:53:08] If you like that.

[00:53:10] And I was being modest.

[00:53:11] I'll be honest.

[00:53:12] I would like it for 50%.

[00:53:13] Damn, doing some self bargaining.

[00:53:16] But that's where I draw the line.

[00:53:18] The five stages of having a snack.

[00:53:22] Anger, bargaining.

[00:53:26] We got all that fucking candy.

[00:53:27] We got a little bit of fucking...

[00:53:29] It's Halloween, I mean, it's Christmas.

[00:53:31] What's Christmas?

[00:53:32] Yeah.

[00:53:33] Yeah.

[00:53:34] We should go to CBS tomorrow for the discounts.

[00:53:39] And get the discount Christmas candy.

[00:53:41] And there's a store called CP-N-S.

[00:53:44] He does.

[00:53:45] Not only does he go there, he's employee of the month.

[00:53:48] He doesn't work there.

[00:53:49] You've seen the most.

[00:53:50] Yeah.

[00:53:51] He's right there for the discount.

[00:53:52] Yeah.

[00:53:53] Child vagina services.

[00:53:55] CP-N-S.

[00:53:56] You love CP-N-S.

[00:53:58] Hello, is this Child vagina services?

[00:54:01] Mm-hmm.

[00:54:02] You know?

[00:54:03] Yes, I do.

[00:54:04] You know?

[00:54:05] See where you're going with that.

[00:54:06] Yeah, I was over at CPS the other day.

[00:54:08] It was CP-N-S.

[00:54:09] The other day.

[00:54:10] And they didn't have my prescription right now.

[00:54:12] Yeah.

[00:54:13] And I was like, if I don't get it soon, I'm going to perish.

[00:54:17] And do you ever get over the counter?

[00:54:19] Looking at penis?

[00:54:20] Yeah.

[00:54:21] You need prescription, extra strength looking at cock.

[00:54:24] Yeah.

[00:54:25] It's got to be a doctor.

[00:54:26] You got to really be looking at penis.

[00:54:30] This guy is going to go crazy.

[00:54:32] Oh, that's awesome.

[00:54:33] This guy needs...

[00:54:34] This guy's going to flip his fucking lid if he doesn't see some penis.

[00:54:38] This guy is going to get one step closer to the edge.

[00:54:41] And he's about to suck.

[00:54:42] And he's about to suck.

[00:54:43] I want to suck your fucking dick.

[00:54:44] Because I'm one step closer to your dick and I'm about to suck.

[00:54:47] I'm trying to suck your fucking dick.

[00:54:49] Now this is some of the rotation I've brought this up before, but the Hot Wheels were...

[00:54:54] Yeah.

[00:54:55] And they came out with me.

[00:54:56] You did.

[00:54:57] You did.

[00:54:58] You did, but go ahead.

[00:55:01] And so it's just a tiny...

[00:55:03] People probably forgot, yeah.

[00:55:04] You imagine the CEO kicking down the door.

[00:55:06] Kicking down.

[00:55:07] I'd love to see how the boardroom...

[00:55:10] How the fuck on that day...

[00:55:12] How the fuck day he made the cars even tinier?

[00:55:14] Yeah.

[00:55:15] You son of a bitch.

[00:55:16] You fucking...

[00:55:17] You know what?

[00:55:18] What I'm getting the better of...

[00:55:19] Is it's yet again another reference to Glenn Gary Glenn Ross.

[00:55:22] Yeah.

[00:55:23] And you just plug those jokes right into the speech.

[00:55:25] That's right.

[00:55:26] You know what that mini car thing reminded me of?

[00:55:29] When I was a kid...

[00:55:30] Your penis?

[00:55:31] I got really good at tech decks.

[00:55:33] And then I realized the man...

[00:55:36] The man's skateboards for your feet.

[00:55:38] Yeah.

[00:55:39] Yeah, that's crazy, dude.

[00:55:40] I was like, why am I doing the finger once?

[00:55:42] That's what I've been doing.

[00:55:43] The

[00:55:18] I could've been doing the feet once.

[00:55:44] The salad called running ABC on a board.

[00:55:46] It's Alec.

[00:55:47] You know what I'm getting?

[00:55:48] It's like B.

[00:55:49] Baldwin C killed a cinematographer while doing a Donald Trump impression.

[00:55:55] That was from the deleted scene.

[00:55:58] Which is great how prescient it was.

[00:56:01] You know what I never saw?

[00:56:02] You know what I saved that lady?

[00:56:03] Alec B.

[00:56:05] You know what I saved that lady?

[00:56:07] Committing.

[00:56:08] Committing.

[00:56:09] Committing murder.

[00:56:10] Psycho-killer Alec Baldwin.

[00:56:12] Damn.

[00:56:13] I repeated that.

[00:56:14] Maybe that cinematographer would've lived if she had the Kev V.

[00:56:16] She had the Kev V.

[00:56:17] Wall-it.

[00:56:18] Honestly...

[00:56:19] If SNL had any integrity, they would've immediately done an Alec Baldwin killing people's sketch.

[00:56:27] Well, maybe they aired last night.

[00:56:29] I don't know.

[00:56:30] They did it already, I remember.

[00:56:31] They already made fun of Alec Baldwin shooting something?

[00:56:33] I mean, it's December, so.

[00:56:35] Yeah.

[00:56:36] They've been on hiatus, but...

[00:56:37] Yeah, now they're back.

[00:56:38] It's coming back.

[00:56:39] It's been on hyenas.

[00:56:40] It's really, you put your your nose in there and you get high off the fumes.

[00:56:44] You can't get the jankum.

[00:56:46] Okay.

[00:56:47] They're gonna have Kate McKinnon play hallelujah on piano as a tribute to their old friend.

[00:56:53] You know what?

[00:56:54] There's not a lot of up here that is bothering me?

[00:56:57] Owls.

[00:56:58] I was hoping I'd see a couple.

[00:57:00] Yeah, well you gotta seek them out, I think.

[00:57:03] Yeah, they're not...

[00:57:04] We basically just have been on the property at night.

[00:57:07] You have to know how to find an owl.

[00:57:09] You were not a little bit.

[00:57:10] I did.

[00:57:11] You might've been able to find an owl.

[00:57:12] You see anything nice?

[00:57:14] You saw a toad in the middle of the night?

[00:57:16] Yeah.

[00:57:17] Damn, look at Isis just napping.

[00:57:19] I'm jealous, dude.

[00:57:20] She loves to sleep.

[00:57:21] I love these.

[00:57:22] She's fucking knocked out.

[00:57:24] Your dog's just dead.

[00:57:26] We're like, she looks so cute right now.

[00:57:28] She does look pretty cute, dude.

[00:57:29] That would be so annoying.

[00:57:30] Would you get her stuff?

[00:57:31] Would you get her stuff right now?

[00:57:32] Well, I was thinking I'd get her taxidermied and then treat her like she's alive.

[00:57:37] Put her at the corner of your room.

[00:57:38] Put food out in front of her that decomposes.

[00:57:41] Kind of like I had a child that died.

[00:57:43] Yeah.

[00:57:44] I would get my son taxidermied.

[00:57:46] What age is he ineligible for taxidermied?

[00:57:49] Four or five and you put him in a little sailor outfit and you get him taxidermied.

[00:57:53] Do you kill him or die?

[00:57:54] You're right next to the TV.

[00:57:55] No, you kill him so he could be a little boy forever.

[00:57:57] I would kill with mommy forever.

[00:57:59] I would kill, yeah.

[00:58:00] No.

[00:58:01] You're never going to grow up.

[00:58:03] You're never going to leave mommy.

[00:58:05] You're always going to be my perfect little boy.

[00:58:07] You're going to be my perfect little guy.

[00:58:09] It would be funny if I developed Munch Housing's by proxy.

[00:58:13] I was like, yeah, my daughter's retarded.

[00:58:15] Yeah, yeah.

[00:58:16] She's not.

[00:58:17] I've been doing my own research on it.

[00:58:19] You're in the, listen, you're eligible.

[00:58:21] You're.

[00:58:22] That's up to research.

[00:58:24] That's up to a research.

[00:58:25] That's up to a rose documentaries.

[00:58:27] I might rewatch that.

[00:58:28] Yeah, that's some fucked up shit.

[00:58:30] Is she free?

[00:58:31] She's putting her hands over your daughter's ears and being like, she's retarded.

[00:58:35] Yeah.

[00:58:36] The gypsy get parole or she in life.

[00:58:40] She prison for life.

[00:58:42] The mom.

[00:58:43] And let me ask this.

[00:58:44] Do they have Chinese food in this town?

[00:58:46] Just a quick little change place.

[00:58:47] In our town?

[00:58:48] Where we are right now.

[00:58:49] I just thought about that.

[00:58:50] Yeah.

[00:58:51] I think there was Chinese and I think there's also.

[00:58:53] Well, there's a place called Lee Bank.

[00:58:55] So I would assume that those people need to go eat at some point.

[00:58:58] Right.

[00:58:59] So there's got to be a Chinese restaurant.

[00:59:01] That's true.

[00:59:02] That's just a thought I had because I would like to have a dumpling.

[00:59:05] Yeah.

[00:59:06] I'm simultaneously having that feeling where my body hurts and it's mad at me for everything

[00:59:10] I've done so far.

[00:59:11] Does he make it worse?

[00:59:12] And then the thought to have a little weed tincture.

[00:59:15] Yeah.

[00:59:16] Maybe zonk out on the couch, watch entourage.

[00:59:18] Yeah.

[00:59:19] And then have some Chinese food.

[00:59:21] My friend, my friend, there are three Chinese restaurants.

[00:59:24] How are they reviewed?

[00:59:26] There's a 4.4, 4.1 and a 4.0.

[00:59:29] 4.0.

[00:59:30] Oh.

[00:59:31] Yeah.

[00:59:32] This is on Google.

[00:59:33] It's a star Chinese restaurant.

[00:59:35] This place is called Koi after the Japanese fish.

[00:59:37] After Joe Koi?

[00:59:38] After Joe Koi.

[00:59:39] It's a Chinese restaurant called Koi.

[00:59:43] Looks actually...

[00:59:44] And that's the 4.0?

[00:59:45] I don't want a 4.0.

[00:59:46] I want the 4.4.

[00:59:47] No, this is the 4.4.

[00:59:49] Interesting.

[00:59:50] Go P.F.

[00:59:52] Yang's.

[00:59:53] What's the little main look like?

[00:59:54] I'm looking at their menu right now.

[00:59:56] How about they have chicken wings?

[00:59:58] I don't know.

[01:00:01] It looks just like...