Cum Town | Regular | 01/19/2022
[00:00:00] 2016 what's what's the Trump presidency gonna be like?
[00:00:05] You should you should get the audio from that show Mansour is on Spike TV before
[00:00:14] Sorry about that. I'm sorry about that. Well, you were pissing me off. You've done a couple faux-paws. You know, that's you pissed
[00:00:20] Well, I said it's I was just so he said third week in January, but to the fans who we care deeply about
[00:00:26] We're not pre-recording a bunch of episodes again. We've had some sponsors dropout
[00:00:38] And I don't I'm just gonna tell you the facts
[00:00:42] I'm not saying anything about causality wait
[00:00:45] That's the one we lost because we did that extended read about raping children and their fact. I thought it was a holocaust
[00:00:57] Three weeks ago the CEO gets the booster shot
[00:01:05] He's beaten the death by his boyfriend and a domestic violence
[00:01:10] Just you you guys do with that information what you want. We're just putting it out
[00:01:15] I'm just telling you to what the facts are we never said the word method
[00:01:21] Causality I'm just asking I'm not even asking questions. Yeah, well
[00:01:25] I'm pissed off at him because we have our good friend Felix here as a guest and I said Adam
[00:01:31] Why don't you sit on the camping chair and let Felix have the big chair?
[00:01:34] He's got his shoes off his hands and his pants my hands in my sweat quietly talked Felix into sitting into the chair
[00:01:41] He's like let me get you a chair and Felix at every time we've had a guest thus far. Oh is this is this a no
[00:01:46] That's well that is the new chair that I bought for Nick to replace the one I should was it this was it this same type of chair
[00:01:53] It was same exact no no this one's a little bit more padded. Oh, okay, then I probably won't shoot
[00:01:59] Like that's usually let's let's AP fact check whether this one's a little bit more padded
[00:02:04] It is I feel it's comfortable like I don't feel like I was this was pawned off
[00:02:09] We don't need to be difficult listen to the man
[00:02:11] Stop leading the witness stop leading the witness saying our guest is over here. He's alert
[00:02:21] He's kind of fucking upright this man you are loud. You're the most comfortable man
[00:02:25] I don't need this chair. I can sit over there. I was placed on this chair
[00:02:29] No, I've been placed on this chair and look pulling thread
[00:02:33] Normally it's fine enjoy the chair. I like to see you comfortable, but I like to see our guests more comfortable. Look
[00:02:40] Comfortable we just want you to be self-aware the discomfort you cause everyone in your life. I
[00:02:50] To a certain extent and look me and Nick always sit on the couch. We can't we I'm happy being on the couch too
[00:02:56] I've been placed on this chair. No one I was on the box. I was on the camping chair. I pooped the camping chair
[00:03:02] Yes, I was on the box for a while as a punishment. Yeah, I did my time listen guys
[00:03:09] This is not as nothing to do with our normal sitting seating arrangements
[00:03:12] But when a guest is here, I think it would be nice to give them the big chair. That's all I'm saying all right for the future
[00:03:19] We're probably we didn't have any of the other guests sit here
[00:03:26] That bicycle with the weird seat to sit on yeah, it was that going up and down the whole day
[00:03:35] Well, I guess it's because you caught you set it up preemptively, you know, you must have
[00:03:41] I'm aware. Oh, yeah, well, let's run the tape on that. Let's run it. Well, there is no
[00:03:46] It's well, that's neither here nor there what's done is done Felix is in the camping chair and we're very happy to have you
[00:03:52] We're happy to have you it's been I think this is the first one
[00:03:57] Since the pandemic Wow the first one. I yeah, right?
[00:04:01] So I think yeah, no because we didn't do any like in 2020 we did we did one at a different was it in your apartment Adam
[00:04:07] The last time we had Felix on I don't remember no it's been too long. That's definitely yeah
[00:04:13] It was a different place wherever it was the Jackie Chan
[00:04:20] That could be construed as being anti-Chinese I just panicked cuz Felix's shit is not recording
[00:04:27] It's neat. Oh, it isn't it well the the master track is recording and that's the one that gets used anyway
[00:04:33] Okay, but this one in case so just be very careful to not say the N word
[00:04:40] Because it's very difficult to strip it from the
[00:04:45] Do different rules than regular choppa yeah, yeah on choppa attention cuz I just did an episode and that's how they warm up
[00:04:52] Is they all say like no no no no no no no, but they're saying the N word the sound of music
[00:04:58] Yeah, yeah, but they never say it on the episode which they get out of their system
[00:05:02] Yeah, but we went over an hour and I could see will shaking because you really wanted to say it
[00:05:10] Yeah, that's I mean there are a lot of secrets to the show, but it is I mean it's a Parkinson's show
[00:05:16] We all we all have Parkinson's yeah, we all met in like Parkinson's rehab. That's sick. You beat it. I
[00:05:23] Did you see that will's relapsing? Yeah?
[00:05:27] He just you know he likes he likes going back to get Parkinson's for the attention
[00:05:32] But I don't really feel that way. So I'm having you guys edit out when I say Parkinson's
[00:05:36] Yeah, this is definitely getting edited. Yeah, check the time
[00:05:38] And so so you're saying Michael J Fox. He's an addict. He was an addict. Yeah, he did he died
[00:05:46] Yeah, really? Yeah, he was he passed away
[00:05:56] Just real quick. Yeah, yeah, just absolutely yeah
[00:06:00] Thanks for sneaking that in there. Yeah, you're welcome. I'm wondering if two people have Parkinson's
[00:06:05] Mm-hmm if you're fucking a girl and you both have Parkinson's
[00:06:08] That's all moments for and you're shaking that must feel good on her clit. I don't know. It's you know like a vibration
[00:06:19] It's something to think about. I'm sure at some point based on family medical history. I will be able to try that out
[00:06:32] Let me know when you get it that is not funny
[00:06:47] I think it's like oh, you know, it's like when a South Pole fights
[00:06:51] Mm-hmm or the Ox fighter. Yes, it's like about fights a lot. Well, like it's like a pitcher
[00:06:58] Yeah, like a left-handed pitcher is the right hand and batter like that's what you want. Of course
[00:07:03] It's the best matchup is Parkinson's non Parkinson's right is like what do girls like the most?
[00:07:09] They like like just not sure. No, no short like omni directional shitty like pumps like
[00:07:19] Of course, yeah, they're both have it you sync up and she's not feeling she's not feeling the right of that
[00:07:25] Which is the friction right right right right that's true. It cancels out to shaky motherfuckers cancel out
[00:07:32] It's true. I wonder on the same way Blake. That's true if there are a different one than their extra shaky
[00:07:37] That's the whole problem though. They're only on the same wavelength when they're twins
[00:07:40] So okay, so twins can't fuck each other
[00:07:50] Serena Williams god forbid they ever get Parkinson's
[00:07:57] Venus's older I thought they were twins
[00:08:03] Are they had him. Yeah, I thought they were planning that's why Nick Nick was saying that racist
[00:08:11] You thought that Tia and Tamara and the smart guy were all they are
[00:08:18] Triplets but there's no way who's the smart guy Taj Maro or Maori
[00:08:23] You've been talking about it. I don't even know what you thought but
[00:08:27] Have a younger brother who was in the show smart. No, no, not Roger. Not Roger Roger who got raped right?
[00:08:34] Didn't he get molested that was a little bow out on the set of Tokyo drift
[00:08:41] The best rumor the best like post 9-11 rumor after the dancing Israelis was
[00:08:47] That well well was being raped at the twin dowry. Yeah
[00:08:52] Well just of that era that it was like I think it was like based off of nothing that his bodyguard raped him
[00:08:58] Yeah, well, I remember that which I believed wholeheartedly. I believe until this moment
[00:09:03] Yeah, I thought that was fact. No, it was some guy like you were me
[00:09:09] Some like you know who just said it. Yeah, some some is zero. Yeah. Yeah somewhere in the country
[00:09:16] I'm over the really good rumor didn't beat you. Okay. Get molested by somebody
[00:09:23] Boyband molester Lou Pearlman, but there's got to be a black blue Pearlman somewhere. Eric Adams
[00:09:28] I guess he was a cop. He could have just arrested their tour bus and then fucked them all. Mm-hmm
[00:09:39] What were they gonna do? Yeah, there's nothing they could do legally. I mean, we never got that John Madden bus
[00:09:45] Although there might be a chance to get the actual John Madden. Yeah, he's already
[00:09:49] Yeah, show some respect John Madden and sis and being buried in the bus that would be like a fucking like King Tut
[00:09:55] Yeah, that's just that's his fucking that's his fucking pyramid is the bus
[00:09:58] He fills it with fucking other play. Oh, Michael's has to do play by play. He's encased alive
[00:10:05] Doing play by play while John Madden does color that would be sick. They're still putting his name on the games
[00:10:10] That's a little weird. It's a state makes them sound trees dead. Yeah, it's a ghost game. Yeah
[00:10:16] Like a nightmare before like Luigi's Mansion
[00:10:19] You want to make you wonder if there's gonna be songs in the new one really you're wondering
[00:10:37] Kind of wonder is it what is this gonna be like the frickin nightmare before Christmas John Madden
[00:10:51] Sometimes I wish with John Madden was calling play by play on Tinder dates
[00:11:04] The valley you want to be in click over to Chinese, but then there's a weird toothy kind
[00:11:22] Yeah, that's good that's a good chunk John Madden yeah, not mad in Halloween and Tinder dates
[00:11:28] John cuz that's a funny word isn't it folks? Everyone's being really nice about him dying of course
[00:11:34] He was like a joke. I thought everyone made fun of it. What I'm not I'm not
[00:11:40] You're pissing me off real. I'm bad tea. They made fun of him. I was joking about the chair
[00:11:46] I was joking about the chair. I was joking about the chair. I'm sad. He died what you're saying right now is fucked up
[00:11:51] And I'm pissed off at you. I'm just saying that people didn't celebrate him in his life
[00:11:55] Like they should have yes, they did he was the best just like you and Kobe Bryant
[00:11:59] You you legitimize the man that you despise look
[00:12:03] But when he was alive, it was fun to hate on you loved him dead. You love him dead. I do that's the point
[00:12:09] I don't love him dead. I wish he was alive, but he's dead great. You're loving. He's one of the great. How you doing?
[00:12:23] It's legal why don't you save that for about three minutes?
[00:12:27] Don't be selling crayden. There's something you see you with that one. Oh
[00:12:34] That's a little that's a little fucking preview folks you might be hearing from John Crater in a couple minutes
[00:12:49] Damn Felix. What's up, man? What's up? What'd you have for breakfast?
[00:12:56] Let's do a day in the life Felix breakfast go because I had us I had a fucking goad bacon egg and cheese
[00:13:03] Mm-hmm. What did you have? I had two phases of toast and an espresso pod classic to toast just a little little butter
[00:13:11] Very very you don't want that very Philip Marlow. That's fucking that's like a that's like an efficiency
[00:13:17] 1940s efficiency apartment breakfast you got to smoke a cigarette with that. Yeah, well I smoke a pipe do your chest problems
[00:13:24] Have your two pieces of toast take a look at the globe and just say damn. Yeah, I like yeah
[00:13:29] No, it doesn't matter how like you know embarrassing or fruity your lifestyle is it doesn't matter if you have three monitors
[00:13:36] Yes, you do that you roll out of your Murphy bed
[00:13:41] It doesn't matter if you're using like a Nespresso like one of those devices that was made just for milves
[00:13:47] Yeah, of course you're just getting that two pieces of toast. Oh pretty noir
[00:13:51] It's gotta be good. It is it is the war to be a private detective now
[00:13:54] Oh my good, you like wake up and you smoke a cigarette and then you look out the blinds and then you just Google
[00:13:59] Yeah, yeah, just look at someone's Twitter. Yeah, yeah their Instagram
[00:14:03] Yeah, you never run into like some sexy
[00:14:07] Dude that's spend the day to come through some dumb Indian bitches tweets
[00:14:16] At least then you could feel the bullets whizzing past your head now the years go by I
[00:14:25] I was just wanted to talk more about how good how cool the evil evil noir women were
[00:14:31] I love watching the wars because it's like the whole job. Hey, the whole job is not getting pussy from insane bitches
[00:14:36] Mm-hmm, and I would have failed spectacular. Yeah, what if I'm every single Daffy bitch
[00:14:40] It's not the noggin pussy is said to recognize that you get the pussy
[00:14:44] But you they're also trying to get something out of you right so you ever give it to him. Yes
[00:14:50] The end of every noir book is and I still hit
[00:14:58] No, our guys were probably the only people allowed to get pussy in like the 1910s 1920s or I guess 40s
[00:15:06] Well like that wasn't a lifestyle right like people won't really
[00:15:10] No, yeah, I think the 30s people were getting oh absolutely. I thought everyone's a family man in the third
[00:15:16] We're talking about people have people like colonial times. Yeah, this is the way they write about it is like and I
[00:15:28] Wonderful flower. Yeah, yeah, honey. Yeah, meanwhile. It's like their fingers in the ass
[00:15:35] You got a thing flappers are gonna think imagine imagine you go on a date with a bitch in 19 or 1780, right?
[00:15:42] Okay, I'm listening you get back to her place. It takes four and a half hours for the both of you to get on dress, right?
[00:15:47] It's like what are you gonna do just steal a couple of smooches and hit the bricks?
[00:15:51] No, I don't think so pal you're raping that lady
[00:15:55] Like stop. Yeah, think about this like yeah
[00:15:59] People take all these podcasts and like your posts and like you like like your stand out like your body of work
[00:16:06] Mm-hmm like a hundred years after you die and they write about your life using like primary and secondary sources sure or like for any of this
[00:16:13] I don't want to like no no either way, right? Yeah, they're gonna be like wow people back then were 380 pounds and five foot four
[00:16:22] 275 and five seven. Thank you very much back in the day
[00:16:28] Everyone was balding to listen three I have hair and I have all my tea not getting pussy and I am getting pussy
[00:16:35] Thank you very much. They wouldn't think to like make a note of oh someone you fucked three times over two weeks
[00:16:44] the last thing you said to each other was oh
[00:16:46] I'm thinking about going to the parquet courts. Yeah
[00:16:54] It makes you wonder it's like probably everyone in the middle ages was like a they were like 6-2 and they were fine
[00:16:59] But then there was just like three or four guys are like can you believe this shit?
[00:17:07] My god no teeth. I don't know how to read
[00:17:10] And people are like wow this is the guy I guess I just thought everyone got married in the 40s
[00:17:15] They all were in suits, but you're right. I guess what it was that it wasn't respected or
[00:17:20] It was they were thought of as like the drags of society to get pussy some people and then I guess you cheated
[00:17:26] You cheat it was cheated on your wife relentless. Well. Yeah, it was like especially in the 50s
[00:17:30] You got a secretary it was like skipping to like you know if you got arrested for any crime back then you're just
[00:17:37] Dumbest piece of shit. Yeah, and if you couldn't get a job even dumber because you just go to a new town and say you're a doctor
[00:17:44] Yeah, that's it keep cheating the same way right no one can go to your Facebook
[00:17:50] You're right, but like everyone did it, but it's just like they're not gonna
[00:17:55] You know like yeah, what's your wife gonna do use the car?
[00:17:57] She's not allowed to drive to follow you into the city. Yeah on your lunch you could go 10 miles and just fuck a woman
[00:18:05] That would never interact with anyone. You know yeah, absolutely. That's so awesome
[00:18:09] That'd be like a different yeah like all these airline pilots pretending they're quitting because of the vaccine mandate
[00:18:13] The reality is it's like the me too movement did more damage
[00:18:19] Like what I'm just not supposed to fuck some type it
[00:18:21] Oh man pilots really that's that's enough
[00:18:30] That's like fucking an alien if you were if you lived in New York you fucked someone in fucking
[00:18:35] Kansas and everyone respected a pile and everyone respected pilots. Yeah, they were probably they were getting so much fucking gas
[00:18:47] The thing they're gonna use to write about there are lives because they will write about us. That's so funny
[00:18:51] There's gonna be a because we're on the right side of history
[00:18:59] there the mo the primary source they're gonna use is like the longest and
[00:19:06] Most mutually wrong arguments you've had with girls over text
[00:19:14] I didn't seem excited maybe because I woke up early so I could see you
[00:19:26] State you know it cost actual money to send a letter not not now everything was off
[00:19:31] I serious saying everything was off the record. Yeah like you wouldn't I think we have no proof of them getting pussy
[00:19:37] But they were getting pussy you would have to love fighting with women so much to do it over a letter ram. Yeah
[00:19:49] Would you would you do I think I might do it. I've been doing some letters. Yeah, I
[00:19:54] Hate fighting really I really do I have trouble picture you do a little bit, huh?
[00:19:59] I've trouble picturing you doing it a lot. I don't like to fight. Yeah, well now you do fight
[00:20:04] But you fight is it honestly I think I think about relationships
[00:20:08] I've had where it's like there's two kinds of ways people fight
[00:20:12] There's people that like grew up in those quiet dinner households or everyone's mad at each other right and they do that like
[00:20:19] I just I just don't know what to do like that kind of bullshit drink my
[00:20:23] awful right and then there's the kind that's like
[00:20:27] Gives your life vitality. That's fine. That's like who the fuck is this bitch on your phone right?
[00:20:32] You're like some bitch. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, the fuck yeah, and that is easy to deal with very easy
[00:20:38] In fact it does it helps things right because people say what they mean
[00:20:42] Sure rather than privately retiring into these feelings that they think have like way more emotional depth than they do right
[00:20:48] I know you're just spiraling. Yeah. Yeah, I guess I also like haven't
[00:20:53] been in that many like serious relationships where like you know and I say this
[00:20:59] With authority as someone that has had numerous types of failed relationships right right right right it all failed for the same reason
[00:21:06] Yeah, but my inability to handle it in different ways
[00:21:12] Stuff like yes, you don't even this is the biggest tip. I can give you because like please I'm not like here comes a big tip
[00:21:20] Yeah, I'm not I'm a man. I have it says
[00:21:24] He's having sex yeah, I get it. I got a pretty big tip actually Michael gas can I look at this act?
[00:21:31] But I'm listening Felix. Okay. I'm trying to get a life advice from my friend Felix. I know I'm I was just getting
[00:21:41] No, if there's an opening yes take it of course
[00:21:44] You don't like look you don't have to be in a committed relationship like to fight your to fight like you can do it with pretty much
[00:21:57] Point of bureaucracy regular citizens can go in somewhere and for two hours being a relationship with a large black woman
[00:22:06] Go to the post office you say well the fucking tracking thing said it was here
[00:22:12] Behind nine panes of bulletproof glass eating a fucking pop eyes box. I guess I like while look forward in here
[00:22:22] I've streamlined all my relationships where well real quick though. Sorry, but oh, yes John Crater John
[00:22:36] What I want running that's rip tour now. It's my flawless rip tour. It's actually just
[00:22:42] Wow, I'm doing a break on break on what I want kraim
[00:22:52] Pure creative engineered by nature Wow Wow engineered by nature. Yeah, so it's not a lably cratum
[00:22:59] That's awesome. It came from a bat pussy. This is oh, yeah, this is the best kind of
[00:23:03] Pangolin GMP qualified vendor are creative meets American creative association standards for good manufacturing practice
[00:23:10] You know, that's a very strict governing body made by nature perfected by us
[00:23:21] Just like cigarettes our crater is made originally from a plant
[00:23:29] That would be awesome just like the powerful Kokai in our plant in the jungles of Colombia
[00:23:37] We'll be described in the future as slaves
[00:23:43] Since 2016 we've been perfecting but not right now to be clear
[00:23:46] certifiably reliable ways to bring you kraim as it was intended unaltered untouched uncompromised
[00:23:54] And you know, that's true because it tastes like shit. That's right. It does taste like do you feel like you're eating dirt like you're eating
[00:24:01] Yeah, nature and but luckily they have capsules also so if you're not into the dirt thing
[00:24:06] I'm always kind of a dirt guy. You know, I've never been that like let's put the mushrooms into something else kind of thing
[00:24:10] Oh, I love it. I ate dude in LA. I had mushrooms. I put him in the middle of this like cream filled donut. It's awesome
[00:24:17] I just eat them. I had I had a fucking you're a real fancy bit
[00:24:20] I had a cup of coffee and then I had my lunch, but awesome. Yeah, super speciosa
[00:24:26] I had an eighth of mushrooms in a donut some plonoplane eagle rock that Jamel told me about and they were really good
[00:24:32] But what I love even more than that is super speciosa
[00:24:37] I just found a cool thing on their website and so you might like this. It's a
[00:24:42] It's an article called cradum craves breakfast recipe edition
[00:24:46] Wow, these are cradum. Yeah, these are great a little great them on your toes
[00:24:51] So the first recipe is a cradum overnight oats. That sounds nice
[00:24:56] And then they got a cradum asai bowl. All right, these are for the athletes
[00:25:01] Yeah, yeah, they have recipes on their website create them protein pancakes. They got recipes. Yeah full recipes
[00:25:07] I know they listen to these ad reads. Yeah, I don't know how much overhead it would incur
[00:25:11] But you should really send those recipes out
[00:25:15] Right, but there should be like both they should do a sample recipe that comes with you know an order or whatever
[00:25:21] They should give us cradum pancakes to eat on live on air
[00:25:24] I don't know about those just because the protein pancakes are fucking that's the biggest mistake
[00:25:29] What are they not good? They're not good at all dude every two years. I like buy some
[00:25:34] To because I forget the one was the with the bear on that's the worst one. It is the worst one
[00:25:42] Even the box itself looks in edible and I know that you can say that about a lot of boxes
[00:25:51] Oh, so you're not even saying the vibes the box. Yeah, it's like you're being a cyclical box. Yeah
[00:25:56] It looks like you don't want to eat it. Right interesting, but it's not true with super specios
[00:26:01] Not true at all. They also have a when I said I don't know about the pancakes
[00:26:05] I meant I do know about the pancakes and there's some of the best pancakes
[00:26:09] There's a there's a I felt like I was at iHop sitting down with my good friends Bob Evans and Louis Simmons from west side barbell
[00:26:17] And we're getting fucked up on cradum with john madden who can't stop talking about the nightmare before
[00:26:27] I had a do you have something you want to read? Yes
[00:26:30] Uh, I mean remember and say so basically volition. Yeah, something I want to remember is that the url is get super leave dot com slash com
[00:26:38] And the promo code is comtown really yeah, that's really cool
[00:26:43] I think it's a good idea like if you have a family like if I have in the next few years
[00:26:48] I have kids is something I'll do I'll be making them by around the time they're five around the time I get them the boosters and
[00:26:57] I will be like making them cradum. I say bowls and pancakes. Yes, not protein pain. Is it I say it's a sigh
[00:27:03] I you know what you can just say whatever
[00:27:06] It's like like no one no one knows and what is it? It's a berry. It's a berry that gives you energy
[00:27:12] Yeah, like helps you recover after you work out
[00:27:14] Anik totally. Yeah, you're still working out. Do you have a gym again? Yeah, you're an equal. I'm just wearing a I'm wearing a baggy shirt
[00:27:21] But I'm going to the gym. Yeah, you look awesome. Thank you. I'm honest. You're really fighting mom's salivate
[00:27:27] I'm trying to suck you off. All right, so there's some I just wanted to remember some mandatory benefits that we have to reference
[00:27:34] And that's just add it off the top of your head. Just you love them so much
[00:27:39] Just spitting this off the top of the dome super specios is creative is a hundred percent natural with one ingredient cradum leaf
[00:27:45] Can help improve your mood deliver energy reduce pain and it helps people feel better
[00:27:50] Crater is used also to relieve stress and take the edge off every batch of super specios has a QR code
[00:27:56] That you can scan and view the exact lab certificate
[00:27:59] I love that so you know you're getting high quality product
[00:28:02] And if you're not completely satisfied super specios that will give you your money back an nikq
[00:28:10] Super specios it wants you to come again with unlimited use of the 20 percent off promo code comtown
[00:28:16] So go to super leaf get super leaf dot com slash comtown
[00:28:20] For 20 percent off your entire orders get super leaf dot com slash comtown promo code comtown
[00:28:25] For 20 percent off also. I saw on their website. This is kind of cool
[00:28:31] They got a home page by the way. They have an article that says how to buy
[00:28:34] I create them with an a CH a CH e check so basically
[00:28:41] What you do is you put in your routing and have a debit card
[00:28:45] Yeah, you put in your routing and your account number. Wow
[00:28:49] And then um and people say obama did nothing for us
[00:28:53] Yeah, and that's huge. I give everybody a CH checks to buy cradum with
[00:29:00] And you could also buy with cryptocurrencies for all that's awesome
[00:29:03] With the fuck are these ape thing? I I I can't get your track of jpegs that people buy as nft's
[00:29:13] People have them in their crypto wallets and then they're like that is here. That is funny. I thought the joke was that they just looked
[00:29:19] $80,000 on this ape cartoon. No, there's no joke. These people think that these things are actually good
[00:29:25] It's really funny. It's a pyramid scheme people are getting their shit stolen from their wallets somehow
[00:29:30] You know, I wasn't I wasn't gonna just from the hip say nft's or bags
[00:29:33] I don't understand them. I don't understand like the argument about like them using too many computers
[00:29:39] I don't know what that means. I don't either but when I'm so gay that I just am running with it
[00:29:43] When I publish Chinese Barney for a modest
[00:29:49] And received zero takers. I thought this community is poison
[00:29:56] You need to plug Chinese Barney on the show. I'm sure you can get 25. I don't even know why I don't know how
[00:30:02] Actually, I just I learned enough to make the thing and put it on the website
[00:30:06] Nick is selling Chinese Barney right now guys for three Ethereum. I don't know how to collect the money
[00:30:13] You gotta get it on there's like a crypto wallet. I have that there's an exchange like link to the thing to
[00:30:19] To the marketplace. Yeah, do you put it on like open see open see is I don't remember literally I took an hour to figure out
[00:30:26] I'd turn Chinese Barney people didn't know that it was comedy genius Nick Mullen those it thought it was just a racist
[00:30:34] This is the struggle is regular racist that likes baby
[00:30:38] The Jimmy Fallon paradox where it's like nobody will accept me as a serious artist
[00:30:42] I think it's got to be a joke and it's like no what if bony
[00:30:46] Was a Chinese father that's so what can you imagine? Well Chinese dinosaur who is a Chinese dinosaur?
[00:30:54] But also he's still he's still Barney right and you can't say it's racist
[00:31:01] Because you could no you can't because what is racism?
[00:31:07] I think in this first of all you have to be able to answer that question in this case the eyes is what makes a racist
[00:31:20] Chinese people so he happens to have eyes
[00:31:23] That a Chinese guy would have and because of the limits of our language. There's no other way to it
[00:31:28] That's what a t-rex right they call him the king of the dinosaurs
[00:31:31] Yeah, am I supposed to believe that's actually a king that they've got a society right?
[00:31:37] No, of course not. No, so you would understand as a rational
[00:31:43] Functioning adultness not you know, so at this racist that's racist this racist you'd say okay
[00:31:49] It's a dinosaur that happens to look Chinese
[00:31:54] And furthermore, he's working with children who can't understand
[00:31:58] Things outside of that lens right the easiest thing to tell them is like look don't worry about it
[00:32:05] At this stage in your life you have to just believe
[00:32:08] He's some you know rice paddy, but you know gobbledygook fella
[00:32:14] Well, I think that's when we really started getting into the racist
[00:32:18] You're older we explain that it's just a way for me to make money off crypto
[00:32:36] Promo code come town come town for 20% off
[00:32:40] What are you saying feel it? I think Nick could legitimately make like a five figure amount off that like if he's if you plucked it
[00:32:47] Yeah, no, I there's some fucking moron that will buy a fucking come town nft for sure
[00:32:52] Well, what I'm doing is curious George, but with a big old donk. I like that
[00:32:56] Yeah, that's my that's my fungible league. It's so funny. How they like why is it just those fucking stupid monkeys
[00:33:02] Well, it's funny too because it's all ripped off of like the gorilla's artwork. Yeah, it really is just shitty
[00:33:12] So what what is is there is there actually a legitimate argument as to why nft's are bad other than that's just gay
[00:33:18] Well, I do think they use some kind. I don't know that it's it. I don't care like
[00:33:24] They're they look stupid and the cold like culturally it could be bad because it's the idea with them right is that
[00:33:32] and this is like a like half understood explanation so I could be totally wrong, but
[00:33:38] the blockchain proves ownership, right and the thinking is
[00:33:42] Yeah, I've seen what about the cock chain. Mm-hmm. Nice that I would like one would also do that
[00:33:48] Yeah, it's like my mistress controls my clock. Yeah
[00:33:55] Everything everything will be like owned by someone
[00:33:58] That's like linked to a blockchain. They prove their ownership through the blockchain everything
[00:34:03] Isn't that just like a slippery slope argument? It's like what's there's no evidence that nft's are gonna like
[00:34:11] Be anything more than what they are now like everything else in crypto that never evolved past
[00:34:15] Like a just a dumb money-making scheme, but beyond that like
[00:34:20] Ever fully like encapsulate and make worse like the problem of intellectual property to begin with
[00:34:30] If profits like keep declining if you keep running out of things to make money off of you just
[00:34:36] Increase rent-seeking behavior and existing things so it's like
[00:34:40] You know, okay, we're not inventing anything
[00:34:42] So the new thing is that every jpeg or every gift like you can own the gift of Drake clapping and you make like 0.09
[00:34:53] There's no way to there's no actual like
[00:35:03] So why the fuck these people were they buying these fucking ugly ass so it's it's like the it's the the
[00:35:10] Intellectual implication of NFTs of like what is an even really possible
[00:35:15] Yeah, and and also just like the electricity usage of like, you know, bitcoin farming and all that shit, but it's
[00:35:24] Everyone everyone does everyone takes a flight where they could have like taken a train for six hours or some shit
[00:35:30] There's an argument to be made that everyone's making like it feels like if you're if you're
[00:35:34] If you are into that like and yet you use an iPhone probably doing it. Yeah. Yeah
[00:35:42] So they look fucking stupid and only dorks that don't get pussy seem to like them. So they make they make a lot of money
[00:35:49] I don't give a fuck dude because it seems like that would be perfect for why people are in like only fan shit
[00:35:55] Is if you just NFT your fucking new pussy because that that's like
[00:36:00] If I mean again, it's the same problem with like rights management or whatever because the value in that is the image itself
[00:36:05] Where's the NFT thing is like no one actually thinks this ape has value and also it's like
[00:36:10] It is just like it's not you're not paying for the privilege to look at it
[00:36:14] Or anyone can do that. Right. You know what I mean? You're paying for the privilege of making your profile picture on Twitter
[00:36:22] That's what you yeah, I mean, it's just it seems like another like
[00:36:25] grasping its straws ways to like validate the crypto space is having literally any utility whatsoever
[00:36:32] Right and it doesn't and it's another because that was the thing with like a theorem blew up in price
[00:36:36] And it's like okay. What can you actually use a theorem for now right because there's no more fucking silk road
[00:36:41] Yeah, there while there's crypto kitties and it's like what the fuck is this?
[00:36:44] It's the fucking the opats, but it takes nine hours to find out that your cat died
[00:36:49] Yeah, I mean basically what will happen with crypto and all this shit is like just a bunch of rich guys will have stolen more money from dumbasses
[00:36:56] Yeah, and then it'll just stop existing probably. Yeah, there are three things. I think it's like legitimately can be used for and
[00:37:04] Like one of them you can't really do anymore. One of them is like an inflation hedge, which like yeah, okay, right?
[00:37:12] But that's not really like using it as a currency too is
[00:37:17] You know like when we did a like fundraiser to like
[00:37:21] Like for shouldn't pal these three organizations or two of them were in Palestine
[00:37:25] It's really hard to like send money to people in Palestine and I was thinking like okay if I
[00:37:31] Were doing all this but then you have the same problem
[00:37:35] That guy that guy with the beard walking through the rubble and the flies everywhere being like for the price of a goofy ape number 37
[00:37:46] Yeah, he's filled with Bill Gates's vaccines. Yeah destroying their ability to reproduce and not have autism
[00:37:55] He's trying to give the Israelis a board ape so they turn the electricity back on
[00:38:00] But in the third one is yeah buying drugs online, which you can't really do anymore
[00:38:06] I do I do love the army of it being you know, this whole thing and the preeminent example of it is a ball ape
[00:38:12] Can you imagine he's a piece like a monkey right he's stupid and then he's bald too, right? Yeah
[00:38:28] But I don't know that's what I mean, I'm only defending because I got back into buying DVDs
[00:38:33] DVDs are cool. You can watch them. We're the people you know you can watch NFTs you can watch. They're not good
[00:38:39] So we use it as your PFP. Mm-hmm. That's pretty cool
[00:38:44] And then other people can copy paste in use as theirs and you get
[00:38:48] Yeah, I don't think they're actually getting mad though. Are they no I think it's like I'm I think it's
[00:38:53] Conscious choice either like individually or like
[00:38:57] All crypto millionaires are just like fucking some
[00:39:03] Filipino guy that made 800 billion dollars by accident that he can't cash out and they want like 19 suits
[00:39:14] It's always guys who are like one left turn away from like they'd still be working at geek squad
[00:39:19] Now they're like you're writing books about the optimal work day
[00:39:25] Yeah, that's what I do I do think it's like they want to be screenshotted
[00:39:28] They want like yeah, they like want a guy who's still arguing about the 2016 primary to be like
[00:39:35] This website's free and it's like a guy freaking out, but he's knowingly playing it
[00:39:39] Everyone's knowingly playing everything up. Yeah. Yeah similar to declining profits. Right. There's declining
[00:39:47] Attention profits. Yes, of course. Yeah, it's not yeah. I'm with you dude. That shit is fucking
[00:39:52] That's why you gotta get off their net just fucking
[00:39:54] Get smoke some fucking weed watch your michael man's the insider maybe perhaps take a pill to make your dick hard
[00:40:03] The only way to do that is with a pill to make your dick hard. Boom make your dick hard. Wow. All good. That's my cop's
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[00:40:56] You're like, I'm a fucking artist. He's drawing a curious George with a big
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[00:42:49] Previous generations would have killed one of their children to get hard
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[00:43:23] This is this is just anecdotal man. Really you bought for my past. I
[00:43:28] Maybe I shouldn't say anymore. I think my dick is fucked up
[00:43:34] Technically, I shouldn't be taking these drugs
[00:43:36] It kind of even hurts a little bit because of my foreskin
[00:43:40] Can I say something just between the fellas? No with this like oh like fuck me heart like that thing is like
[00:43:47] When you actually do like a that kind of sex
[00:43:51] I got 15 to 30 seconds in me. So that's where I'm lucky because my heart gets out before anything else
[00:43:57] Really? Yeah, I need a breather and being fat as shit. I pound and I'm like
[00:44:04] I'm a sex I run out of breath on the bottom. Oh
[00:44:13] Ever since I've moved to my gym being walking distance
[00:44:16] I've been doing the heavy bag and assault bike again and now for the
[00:44:20] Four lucky women a year the one time I have sex with them
[00:44:24] The publishers clays showing up with a big picture
[00:44:37] Somebody's going to fuck me from a podcast
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[00:45:12] Fuck me hard then she says something that shows that she watched porn
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[00:45:49] You thought it was gonna be a nice night
[00:45:51] She starts yelling at you and then every time the notification sound on your phone goes off your dick
[00:46:05] When you even if you're alone even if you don't you're not lucky enough to have a woman to argue with right like, you know
[00:46:11] God has a plan for you. She is coming right right you can
[00:46:14] Everyone we all do the same thing right
[00:46:17] We just type in the names of girls and watch stories on instagram
[00:46:24] We spasm our hardcock and our track pants like looks like a dog having a nightmare
[00:46:33] You can't do that with a soft dick. No, not even your regular or non-medically hard
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[00:46:53] Here's the thing you can say that out there. I sent a blue chew dick bill dick pick yesterday
[00:46:59] Oh, it was great. Do you crop like you're fat out or no? Okay. I don't need to do that
[00:47:08] I mean crop it out like you know no I sure everyone who fucks me knows what they're getting into chief
[00:47:14] All right, that's one of the good things about being unapologetically myself
[00:47:19] Sexually, you know, I don't have these body hang on he's doing him these horrors love this fat ass
[00:47:24] My question was about photography. Not psychology. Yeah, how do you what do you do?
[00:47:30] You know, I'm not gonna show you but I'm just looking at it. You can't go from underneath
[00:47:36] Why that's cheating. That's it. Yeah, it's terrible. No, no, it's not under you can see where God diffused everything
[00:47:44] You can see where the body is imperfect in this thing that just sort of flameth underneath you can make it look
[00:47:49] Okay, I'll tell you exactly what it was. I'm holding my dick. I unzip my jeans
[00:47:59] Walk us through a walk us through it. I'm looking at the picture right now
[00:48:03] Um, and you know, I'm I have gotten fatter over the holidays
[00:48:08] So it is kind of like a it's painted like a candy cane, but you could see my stomach you get some belly
[00:48:13] You see my stomach you even see the fat around my cock. I'm not gonna. I'm you know, well, that's impossible. I'm that you can't hide that if you're a cheater
[00:48:33] So I'm wearing some nice jeans green jeans and some black underwear from a different sponsor that I'll talk about maybe next episode
[00:48:41] And you know what jeans I'm just coming over the top my dick as hard as hell
[00:48:46] And you have it in your hand. I have it in my hand a little bit. You have a thumb on top
[00:48:50] I have you know what it's actually just kind of I'm just kind of guiding with yep. Yep. Yep. That's the
[00:49:01] I had run pushing just trim your pubes. I had recently trimmed my nose. I'm not I don't know what you mean
[00:49:06] You don't trim your I've been you know, but you have a Phillips one blade. Uh-oh. No, I lost it
[00:49:12] Get another one. They haven't cvs or dirt cheap. I don't trim your fucking pewgie animal. Is there like it doesn't matter
[00:49:21] Your grudge real fast, but but yeah, that's it
[00:49:26] Can I be real with you? Yeah, she doesn't like it because it's uh prickly
[00:49:29] I've heard that not all the way off. No, you trim it even if it's trimmed. You don't do
[00:49:36] I says as prickly. I got I got rid of all my shit one time and the fucking the itchiness and pain
[00:49:44] It grows back is unbearable. Oh my god. Yeah, no, it's horrific. I thought like I don't know what I thought
[00:49:50] I thought I was being like courteous by doing it. No, no one liked it
[00:49:54] Yeah, you're trying to be polite. Yeah, I was especially if you're like, I don't know
[00:50:00] What if they don't like this, but then you forget like women like we don't even send dick pics for it's for us
[00:50:06] It's from goddess like women like it's nice. Yeah girl being like yum or right?
[00:50:12] Like women jack off to it. No, they jack off to like
[00:50:16] like a memory from 13 years ago of like a mean geometry teacher
[00:50:23] Women jack off to is like they're like tell me what dress to wear and you're like the where the silver one
[00:50:29] Yeah, it's like they're sexual. They don't care about
[00:50:33] So many women told me that they don't get horny for my cock at all
[00:50:39] And the problem was the thing wasn't taking bluetooth triple tablets before
[00:50:45] I'm sorry. You gave the problem with shaving your shit if you're hairy elsewhere, then you just look like a dog
[00:50:52] Yeah, yeah, can I give you a nice testimonial?
[00:50:54] I shaved my chest and my stomach last year
[00:50:57] And then when I gave up on that the growing back was unbearable
[00:51:02] I'm yeah, it's it's like it's there for a reason like wearing shirts when you have like less body hair than you're supposed to wear
[00:51:09] It's just it's a new feeling of discomfort. You didn't know you could have yeah, it's awful
[00:51:14] It's god put that there for a reason. Yep. Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's been weird getting back into just like shaving my face even
[00:51:20] I forgot how fucking uncomfortable it is
[00:51:23] You bring the beard back dawn over the beard. I don't know we need another pandemic. I do want to say this
[00:51:29] I also want to mention this folks uh my dick hard and unhard will be in los vegas
[00:51:36] Wow 27 through the 29th. I'll be at wise guys
[00:51:39] I'll be in sacrameno the following weekend the third through the fifth and then houston on the 16th austin
[00:51:45] I'm at the creek in the cave the 17th through the 19th and then i'm in uh the adison improv on the 20th
[00:51:52] San Francisco vancouver st louis chicago
[00:51:57] Burlington vermont charlotte national atlanta
[00:52:03] And then philly and wash the dc improv to close out the first half of the year
[00:52:08] So in home stavi dot biz for tickets all the tickets should be up now
[00:52:13] And uh, yeah buy some tickets see me on tour
[00:52:16] And the special will be out probably in late february maybe early march some shit like that
[00:52:23] So yeah, folks come fucking see your boy and buy my calendar as well. We got the stavi baby 2022 calendars looking gorgeous
[00:52:32] It's not too many knock out 11 months. You still need the calendar. Yeah, you wake up at 1 p.m
[00:52:37] You can get a calendar as late as march exactly exactly and i'll be selling them at the house some dates coming up
[00:52:52] Chicago boss they're gonna double team you yeah the two fella chicago and boy's town
[00:52:57] That's nice. You could do the link in logic chicago link in logic chicago, but the day might get moved for
[00:53:03] For ama cron. Oh my cron. When are you gonna be there? I'm there pretty late. I'm in there march
[00:53:10] Okay, yeah, i'm not gonna book anything until there's like this this shit's done because we still
[00:53:16] An apologies if this happened to you, but I don't think they returned like most of the money for the australia tour
[00:53:23] What really? Yeah, just kept the fucking money. Yeah, wow vinnie beetle if you're listening
[00:53:27] We want you to send the money back also. I don't know what happened
[00:53:30] But I had a tour lined up in march of 2020 that I had to get canceled
[00:53:35] And I don't know what happened with that ticket money
[00:53:37] Okay, i'll be there i'll be there march 11th and 12th that i'm gonna answer your question
[00:53:41] I think i'm gonna be there in favor of all now is the next show
[00:53:45] Anyway boys will last show the one last show last week. I don't know it's the last week
[00:53:54] Yep, any just got you had to get that over there
[00:53:59] I haven't been chicago in a while. I do fuck with your little town there
[00:54:03] I don't know i would love to i wish i like overlap with you guys when you're there. Yeah, it's been doing it a lot
[00:54:09] Yeah, we just come out. I'm like miss you guys by like a week often
[00:54:13] There's a couple of times i've been there. I don't do shit
[00:54:16] I just do i've done the shows and i just go back to the hotel if you go last you're last
[00:54:20] You visit the jussy crime scene last time the last time i was there. Yeah, I just sat and like did my taxes
[00:54:28] No, if i have a good ass time if either there if you guys all have shows and i come back
[00:54:34] All like make my mom have like just open up all the gas
[00:54:40] All the dinner party with my mom's friends
[00:54:47] I would love to get sucked both by one of your mom's friends dirty whores were born in 1951
[00:54:51] That's awesome dude. Well, have you ever seen posse before
[00:55:01] My mom's friends if you're listening to this i'm not
[00:55:04] They are like giant phyllis city shaveless penis
[00:55:19] Flapper yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, i love the idea of old people only listening to the entertainer
[00:55:25] The only thing they listen to get your pussies out girls. It's fucking season
[00:55:39] You know how you like you're saying like it's like anxiety provoking to book things now
[00:55:46] Yeah, we are next door is entirely the south. Yeah, like we've it's already booked doesn't even matter
[00:55:52] So like it's open for business. It's in late. That's why I want to do it a southern tour because it's you should nothing's gonna close
[00:55:58] Yeah, florida texas forget about it. No one gives a fuck down president assent is if you ask me
[00:56:04] Is this a guy drinking kerosene out of a 32 ounce big golf being like, I tell you never seen
[00:56:10] I love the idea there are listeners there. They're still like they're still our listeners
[00:56:14] But they're like just like they've never worn anything but overall
[00:56:21] I'm sick of these guys i'm sick of these fucking chuds dude. Yeah, they're dressed like that
[00:56:25] But they have little circular glasses. Yeah, there's the only difference
[00:56:28] Dsa guys of like them of like deliverance. Yeah, they're like the union
[00:56:35] Yeah, we should all get to share the boy pussy. We rape
[00:56:41] One of the times I was getting like dragged on social media is there's something like fat dsa guy in the south
[00:56:48] That was like how am I supposed to explain come town to my 50 year old black organizer friend
[00:56:56] You know, yeah, it was a post it was like
[00:57:01] Three-year-old black woman had never voted and I like helped her register. How can I explain this to her?
[00:57:06] And it's like how are you she's 83? Are you gonna explain podcast? Yeah?
[00:57:10] The fuck you don't why would she need to know about this like how am I gonna explain for hentai to her?
[00:57:17] Yeah, my mom has 83 year old friends and it's like and then the appeal. Oh, he has a radio show
[00:57:22] Yeah, exactly the appeal then is like what like what he's calling for is for people to just say the show is bad on twitter
[00:57:28] Right, right. It's like you're not calling you don't want anything. What do you want? That's the call to action. Yeah. Yeah
[00:57:34] Is people need to say the show is bad. What a fucking loser. We do that ourselves
[00:57:39] If you're listening you're a fucking loser, but the show is bad
[00:57:44] I forget the guy's name, but I remember he looks exactly like auto from Beetlejuice. Mm-hmm nice. I don't remember what auto
[00:57:53] Nice. That's a cool name Glenn Shaddex said bad stuff about your show. Yeah
[00:57:59] Baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa-baa
[00:58:02] Damn dude fucking losers. Why do you this guy? Let me see
[00:58:07] My man. Oh, he's cute. Oh, he does look like that
[00:58:12] That's kind of what I was like that's what I was imagining, but with fake dyed blonde hair
[00:58:21] This is the year that I do a really shitty like bleach blonde job. That's awesome. Yeah, just to yeah to further obscure my age
[00:58:30] I might I might just look so fucking stupid. It would look really stupid, but I also bad
[00:58:36] I want I want to do that. I was honestly thinking about doing it
[00:58:39] Uh this year, but I was like, uh, no the long hairs enough the zoomer. The hair looks good. Thanks, man
[00:58:47] Maybe what'll happen is if I become a beach bum if I like go to grease for like you got to do as soon as you get the little ponytail
[00:58:57] Like a dangly earring. I'm getting an earring for sure
[00:59:00] You should get some you should get some beads in your hair like you like a white girl that just went to make
[00:59:05] Absolutely. I'm gonna go to grease for like I'm gonna go to use for a month. I'm gonna come back with just dyed blonde hair
[00:59:11] With fucking beads in it and a fucking earring. I'm gonna look awesome. I'm gonna be so tan
[00:59:16] I'm I'm gonna be gone at least. Oh month. Maybe six weeks. I'll be in grease this year. Oh, I love it dude
[00:59:22] Try sister to the child and pants. Yeah
[00:59:25] Literally, we should just do uh, I want to go dude. We should do a summer
[00:59:29] I'm saying so down and you guys just come for a week with it. There's this there's a place near Athens that
[00:59:34] Uh, george's family goes to that's a cool little town and we could like rent like a fucking mansion
[00:59:40] I really want to go and just fucking hang for a week. Yeah
[00:59:44] Yeah, we need an Epstein island. We could get that. I would love that
[00:59:48] There's a little one for one for adult one. Yeah, exactly. It's like I know
[00:59:53] Who are everyone's thinking? Yeah, and it's like why can't you just like fuck them and like brooklyn or men hat?
[00:59:58] And I don't know I need something to do. Yeah, it's a little project. We've built our own little temple flies
[01:00:06] Yeah, like we get a belude of lias and one of those aquatic planes. I would love a belue personal pilot. Yeah, that'd be a sick