Cum Town | Regular | 02/10/2022
[00:00:00] There's no reason to dress up the thing.
[00:00:09] We watched the end of Rocky 2, then we watched Don Fry versus Takahiro Yamahara.
[00:00:16] And now we're watching a whole retrospective of Don.
[00:00:23] Oh shit, he's about to fight a big fat guy.
[00:00:39] Yeah, this is going to be, we're really in the zone now in terms of watching stuff.
[00:00:47] That's a little bit of podcast that's just going to become.
[00:00:53] Oh dude, he's fighting a really fat guy.
[00:00:57] So folks, we've been watching cable recently.
[00:01:02] This is called the legendary power of Don Fry from the world of boxing.
[00:01:13] Don Fry who's me and Nick were kind of bonding over how cool and hot he looks.
[00:01:28] My local kind of looks like that instead of like if instead of boxing, he had been a guy
[00:01:33] that just built the houses and drank beer all the way.
[00:01:38] He's got like the, I mean, he's so ripped.
[00:01:43] He's got that receding hairline where it's like a box, but it's still thick.
[00:01:53] I wish I could grow with just the fucking Bushy ass mustache, but alas, God has not given
[00:02:00] No, he's given me nothing and I've done the best I could.
[00:02:04] Yeah, I can grow a big beard, but then I look like a like a like a wizard.
[00:02:09] You look like a yeah, a homeless person.
[00:02:21] You better contribute something to this episode.
[00:02:22] If you're going to come in, take shots.
[00:02:25] You're not you ever watch the second of the Don.
[00:02:28] You're watching videos of Mark Marin playing guitar.
[00:02:33] I really hot girl soloing on Instagram.
[00:02:39] Can you turn it down a little bit because I don't know how it's over.
[00:02:46] I think I'm having a heart attack for real.
[00:02:51] This has been the final episode of comments.
[00:02:55] It's making the there's three and a half minutes to the Don.
[00:03:03] No, I just felt like all this like pressure and I don't know.
[00:03:09] But back when I had to go to the cardiologist to go up at your.
[00:03:15] Maybe it's good we didn't make that call we were considering.
[00:03:18] We're going to call some girls over there.
[00:03:21] Should we do a podcast where we're all getting our fucking cocks?
[00:03:37] Yeah, Ralph told me about it and he's like, yeah, next week we're doing blowjob karaoke.
[00:03:42] It's what we do karaoke while getting our dick sucked.
[00:03:51] These are the face of the all right of modern fascism.
[00:03:59] You know, that's I have to say that's pretty cool at this point now.
[00:04:04] That's when we were 27 and drenched in irony.
[00:04:07] Now, when you're in your 30s, you're like, that sounds fucking cool.
[00:04:12] I would love to I would love to interview Brett Michaels.
[00:04:18] I'm by Sebastian Bach while I'm doing it.
[00:04:21] A woman that looks like Sebastian Bach with huge fake tits.
[00:04:24] Yeah, she's not a mouthful of cock, but she can still sing.
[00:04:27] I got to say, I wonder if I could maintain.
[00:04:40] Now I've had this weird thing happen where I'm into my dick, not working.
[00:04:44] It's like, yeah, that shit ain't going to work.
[00:04:51] I recently, my first get it, my first fuck, slash person.
[00:05:01] You are being a little snippy today, right?
[00:05:05] And I won't say today I say on this pod, on this recording.
[00:05:11] Oh, you've determined we can clean the slate.
[00:05:15] And a little bit, I'm going to go piss in there.
[00:05:16] Hey, here's what's really going to happen.
[00:05:20] And if it smells like shit still, we don't get to clean the slate.
[00:05:25] Because you should tell you if it was a smelly one or not,
[00:05:29] Because you should against, by the way, against Nick's wish.
[00:05:32] He doesn't want you shitting in his house.
[00:05:34] You've been here all over the phone number, which you've done.
[00:05:51] I'm going to wait a little longer before I piss.
[00:05:54] And if it smells like shit, you're in trouble, Mr.
[00:05:57] If it smells like a shit, and it talks like a shit.
[00:06:07] We've done a nice little impromptu marathon day.
[00:06:11] I like this because the episodes are way out of order.
[00:06:18] There's nothing you can do about it except stop listening
[00:06:24] We've got you in a fucking in a pincers movement.
[00:06:56] He was trying to impress the girl that was here.
[00:06:59] No, I would never try to impress another girl.
[00:07:04] And I constantly fail at impressing her.
[00:07:11] We have to do nice things, not on a birthday or Valentine's.
[00:07:14] The concept of acts of service you found out about.
[00:07:19] Doing something nice for your girlfriend?
[00:07:21] Yeah, you do something nice just because.
[00:07:45] I honestly should not have said that because I feel like it's
[00:07:49] Because I've said that twice already throughout this ordeal.
[00:07:52] Your upstairs neighbor is just chucky cheese.
[00:07:54] My upstairs neighbor has a cat and has no issues.
[00:08:02] I've offered the loan you my cat, Omeristo.
[00:08:05] But what you're doing is you're getting them
[00:08:09] You've got to hit them at the beginning.
[00:08:12] No, you get a poison that gets on their fur.
[00:08:18] You've tried it your way for months on end.
[00:08:23] She's been pretty unresponsive many times.
[00:08:32] The plan is to fill your apartment with mice
[00:08:34] so they can take away your civil liberties.
[00:08:37] But today it's mice and they say, all right, well,
[00:08:42] to let black people vote so we can steal the election.
[00:08:57] Having sex with women used to feel good.
[00:09:06] When did it suddenly become better to fuck guys?
[00:09:12] And if you're having sex with a guy today,
[00:09:14] there's going to be a lot more of that tomorrow.
[00:09:32] You think I know where the fuck's going on?
[00:09:47] You always have to do it for every time.
[00:09:48] You always have to do it for every time.
[00:09:50] You always have to do something in the morning.
[00:09:56] I want to say that Nick is giving you more time.
[00:09:59] I do, because you literally never want to say that.
[00:10:07] But plenty of times when Nick's a little taken a little too.
[00:10:11] The headphones over, you're wearing a hoodie, and you put your headphones over it.
[00:10:15] And you used to wear their headphones normally.
[00:10:21] I'm kind of trying to do more of an 8-mile stop.
[00:10:29] It's not cold enough for you to be wearing a hoodie.
[00:10:41] I don't say that to you about your big ass fat body.
[00:10:44] What does that have to do with anything?
[00:10:46] I don't choose to have this big ass fat body.
[00:10:57] And you're like, oh, I got to look at that.
[00:10:58] You're putting the headphones over the hood.
[00:11:17] I have to wear sweaters and hoodies and stuff to get cozy.
[00:11:20] You came out of your mom's pussy, fat, and cozy.
[00:12:12] The people are nothing if not notoriously fair.
[00:12:21] They always keep an open mind with you.
[00:12:25] Solomon, honestly dude, he's getting too much credit.
[00:12:29] It wasn't that smart to cut the baby in half.
[00:12:33] No, I think he was doing, was freaking them out and scaring them.
[00:12:37] So they're like, oh, we better get along.
[00:12:53] I feel like I'm in the Baltimore waterfront.
[00:13:07] Oh dude, you could, an octopus without smart.
[00:13:10] Well, I want the octopus to hang one of its arms over the side of the tank.
[00:13:19] Nah dude, the octopus would eat the cat.
[00:13:33] It would be cool to have a lobster tank in here though.
[00:13:46] If I had a lobster tank in here, and people could come over and I can say which one thing
[00:13:57] I could just turn my apartment into a restaurant called cunning lobster.
[00:14:03] I just banged the microphone on my two.
[00:14:35] You got canceled for the awesome Joo costume.
[00:14:37] He just came out with the biggest fake nose.
[00:14:43] Why don't you think was going to happen?
[00:14:45] He basically painted the Wicked Witch of the West, but it was like just flesh-colored.
[00:14:51] And he was like, I'm not being anti-Semitic.
[00:15:00] What do you think about Prince Andrew being stripped of his medallions and his military
[00:15:06] He means a lot to me because I've always respected our armed services.
[00:15:11] If you're a king looking down, he's no longer my commanding officer.
[00:15:22] Kings used to be able to do whatever they wanted.
[00:15:25] We were talking on a different episode of Michael Jackson.
[00:15:28] You can sing and dance so good you can fuck kids, but the king, the Prince of England
[00:15:36] And that's societal progress, but as a monarch, you should feel ashamed.
[00:15:40] The German Empire ended in their last guy, because they were just into like mustaches
[00:15:52] I was a Weimar Republic, but it didn't last that long.
[00:15:55] I wish I was a prince so I could really get my streetwear line off the ground, make everyone
[00:16:04] I wish you were a prince so I could drag you out into the public square and chop your
[00:16:08] Little do you know that the public adores me?
[00:16:11] You would be one of the most hated princes.
[00:16:23] They'd call me Stavros the Jolly, and everyone would feed me cakes on my birthday.
[00:16:33] Do anything domestically, but we would definitely try to take over the world.
[00:16:38] Then once I had all that power, I got nowhere to go.
[00:16:44] For Nicholas Wept, and there was no more exotic cock to suck, it would be funny if we found
[00:16:50] out Alexander the Great was just conquering all that land to taste different kinds of
[00:17:01] And he's like one of the raisins, guys.
[00:17:21] Garbage that I can't stop putting up my ass.
[00:17:39] Right, you do just a bare minimum kind of impression of someone, and then you add,
[00:17:52] Just be a fucking 60 year old man doing shit like this.
[00:18:02] I don't think much longer than 60, but 60 is not that old anymore, you know?
[00:18:07] Yeah, well, I mean, mortality is going to...
[00:18:10] Yeah, most people don't have kids until then, anyway.
[00:18:15] People are like, wow, look how long people live.
[00:18:17] But it's like, those generations all head.
[00:18:22] People live in 90 years old or 100 years old, that's done after this.
[00:18:26] In 20 years, it's going to be like people are back to dying in their 70s.
[00:18:37] You just had two years of your life taken away by a pandemic.
[00:18:42] Yeah, like, you know, I don't understand how the economy works, but everything's more
[00:18:48] You're never going to expand the social safety net.
[00:18:50] You're going to take your social security away at some point.
[00:18:53] Well, I'm going to have a farm upstate.
[00:18:57] What happens when the farm ends up in probate court?
[00:19:00] What happens when I fuck is probate court?
[00:19:02] What happens when I figure out what probate is?
[00:19:08] And as a judge, putting a gavel up your ass and friend.
[00:19:14] And he's like, well, about two weeks ago, the defendant, Mr. Mollsey, his tree fell and
[00:19:24] And they're like, okay, we're back on prostate court.
[00:19:35] If that was the case, if you were a judge, why wouldn't you just wear a diaper?
[00:19:42] You got a trouble peeing or going to the bathroom.
[00:19:47] You can't tell if you're just peeing the street prostate.
[00:19:50] Well, the Liberty Mutual offers a camera, an inspection camera that you can put in your
[00:19:57] And it connects directly to the iPhone or an Android that your children bought you.
[00:20:04] Just ask your grandson, can you help me show this camera at my ass?
[00:20:17] And by the way, he's just turning around in the cowboy hat.
[00:20:20] I'm gay, but I'm not going to ask this chap, son.
[00:20:24] In case you didn't realize, I'm also a mom.
[00:20:26] It didn't really come up in the first part of the bit.
[00:20:36] Price to subject to verification, only available in the lower 48 states.
[00:20:45] By the way, the guy saying this is an awesome thing.
[00:20:47] I'm also the guy with the orthoghe copy.
[00:21:02] If you're straight, but you're also gay, gay ass or something.
[00:21:10] I don't want you thinking, how the hell could insurance be gay?
[00:21:20] And maybe you're perfect for our insurance.
[00:21:23] Maybe you need insurance to make sure that you don't turn gay.
[00:21:27] Here at Liberty Mutual we're offering gay son insurance.
[00:21:32] You've got a newborn son and you're already buying baseball gloves.
[00:21:39] What happens when he wants to wear a dress and says he's a girl?
[00:21:45] Throw him up against the wall and watch the life leave his eyes.
[00:21:51] Now you can just get a million dollars.
[00:21:54] Sam, why don't you skip the part about killing the kid and you just get some money if he turns out gay?
[00:22:06] You're standing over the lifeless bottle.
[00:22:11] We don't have to kill the little gay kid.
[00:22:16] A payout from the farm insurance company.
[00:22:18] My father burned down the farm because he was so angry about me coming home and I didn't know I wanted to grow a mustache for different reasons.
[00:22:32] He lit himself on fire and burned the family.
[00:22:39] Liberty Gay asked mutual gay insurance.
[00:23:15] Call now and make sure you use your penis to die.
[00:23:21] Our operators are standing by waiting to suck your dick.
[00:23:36] I guess Central California is agricultural.
[00:23:38] His parents were originally from El Paso, Texas.
[00:23:44] Wait, he moved from California to Portland, Oregon when he was 13.
[00:23:48] This man is not a fucking cowboy at all, dude.
[00:23:53] He's actually from Sacramento, California.
[00:23:56] He moved to Portland, Oregon at age 13.
[00:24:00] How did guys like this become our icons?
[00:24:03] Growing up, I had pictures of Sam Elliott
[00:24:07] I wanted to be a tough cowboy just like him.
[00:24:11] But it turns out he's a California homosexual.
[00:24:22] Some sort of an article star tattoo stripper?
[00:24:36] boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, girlfriend.
[00:24:43] He fucking get $9 donuts for breakfast?
[00:24:46] You guys got to watch that Louis Tarrou documentary
[00:24:54] This guy's wife is just banging out her boyfriend.
[00:25:02] We were having fun with gay Sam Elliott.
[00:25:07] You're phoning in an episode and this one is brought to you by our friends in my bookie.
[00:25:35] Oh, and I'm doing a birthday show in Los Angeles, 211.
[00:25:41] I'm in Dallas, San Francisco, Vancouver, St. Louis, Chicago.
[00:25:54] How about we do the read and then you can do the plugs.
[00:25:57] This weekend, I'm in Chicago at the local lodge.
[00:26:02] And you can bet on which one of those shows is going to be better.
[00:26:15] Anyway, so my bookie that, A.G., it's the fucking big game this weekend, folks.
[00:26:20] Who are you going to put your money on?
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[00:27:07] Well, the funniest thing to happen to be Joe Biden getting COVID and dying of COVID.
[00:27:13] Because Trump got COVID and everyone was like, I hope he dies.
[00:27:18] Because honestly, winning elections doesn't matter.
[00:27:22] Because he'll just be like, I won the election.
[00:27:24] But if Biden got COVID and died from COVID, you know Trump could know.
[00:27:31] They would have to let him on Twitter for 24 hours.
[00:27:34] You can get banned after that, but give him 24.
[00:28:03] And Steppenov is going to be performing at halftime with Bruno Mars.
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[00:28:44] And it's the moment you've been waiting for the NFL playoff circuit.
[00:28:56] But I can't imagine it's for anything other than...
[00:29:06] And Barris himself with his wedding to Eric Adams.
[00:29:11] Would you marry Eric Adams for a million dollars, Adam?
[00:29:20] You're wearing the cutest dress you've ever seen in your life.
[00:29:22] There's light slough flakes coming down.
[00:29:24] Before the playoffs kick off, Wager on your pick, the take home Super Bowl 56.
[00:29:30] Packers are looking like obvious favorites, but you can't count on the defending champion.
[00:29:54] Oh, it was getting a little like a pun.
[00:29:59] I guess most of the guys on a football team are black.
[00:30:05] It's time to get black to business with Coca-Cola.
[00:30:10] Yeah, but I'm just thinking about, you know, I'm trying to.
[00:30:14] I want to open up an ad agency after we do this.
[00:30:17] I think I've really revolutionized his way.
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[00:31:15] They keep doing that thing where Trump said Nazis were very fine people, but they completely
[00:31:34] I mean, if you listen to the video, he's clearly just trying to have sex.
[00:31:37] He's trying to fuck some of those fours.
[00:31:43] That's what I would say if I was, you know, a bus driver or a guy that was using MyBookie.ag
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[00:32:28] Yesterday I received a drawing of AOC putting his feet into my ass.
[00:32:31] I asked. Don't believe me? Take a look.
[00:38:21] I was watching RuPaul's Drag Race the other day and the whole time I'm thinking to myself,
[00:38:24] what the hell is wrong with these women?
[00:38:28] Why are they doing for me way more than these disgusting broads?
[00:38:32] It's just a show about women wearing clothes.
[00:38:37] And who are their gay friends that prepare their outfits before they get changed?
[00:38:40] I hate those ugly gay men that make their outfits.
[00:38:54] I haven't gotten to the end of it yet, but they tell you it's actually gay men.
[00:39:12] Yeah, it was a better ending than Lost.
[00:39:18] What's that a show about these people that they can't find them or something?
[00:39:45] Do they have different bottled water for the blacks?
[00:39:55] The second, they don't do fountains anymore.
[00:39:59] People are like, ah, let me just get mine in a bottle.
[00:40:07] Have you ever seen that Andy Rooney 60-minute thing on the bottled water?
[00:40:13] Him not understanding the concept of a bottle of water.
[00:40:18] He's like, I walked around the office and every single woman had a bottle of water on it.
[00:40:24] Andy Rooney was literally the fucking best.
[00:40:31] But he's like, he's like, every day I go get a cookie at the...
[00:40:36] He's just complaining about the cookie coming in a plastic wrap.
[00:40:42] Andy's like, what the hell is it with the plastic wrap on the cookies now?
[00:40:54] A lot of people aren't drinking the water that comes out of their force at these days.
[00:41:00] We've designed this ruining water bottle.
[00:41:02] I'm going to fill it from the fountain here and see if I can sell it to the women on this
[00:41:39] This is one of the most popular Poland spring water.
[00:41:44] This pint costs $1.35 in the CBS cafeteria.
[00:41:51] So if your car ran on water instead of on gas and you had to fill a 15 gallon tank with
[00:41:57] this, it would cost $162 to fill your tank with water.
[00:42:32] virgin rainforest it claims when does a rainforest lose its virginity anyway
[00:42:38] it's a fancy bottle up at that bottle cost more than the water the saunee is
[00:42:43] owned by Coca-Cola says the water is treated by reverse osmosis thought I
[00:42:48] tasted something funny we took some of these get there is to a testing
[00:42:52] laboratory called Yorktown Environmental Services to see what was in them we
[00:42:57] talked to the owner Al Patavani a water expert from all the waters I've seen
[00:43:02] that are bottled waters and I probably haven't tested all of them but they're
[00:43:07] very much dead water is what I call they have nothing in them I drink tap
[00:43:12] water yeah the water that you get out of a municipal supply or well supply has
[00:43:17] more chemicals that your body needs my office is on the same floor with the
[00:43:22] staff of the CBS early show about 60 people almost all the way to the
[00:43:27] that's what I do the podcast this is I know I say that every time you got to
[00:43:31] figure it out but this is the one alright folks this is a very special
[00:43:36] shut up for something just pause we'll get back to it Adam come on man sorry
[00:43:44] come on this is a very special moment for the show what's up truly we want to
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[00:49:14] this to go to the grocery store and get a couple of hard kombucha's my little
[00:49:17] you better go my little trick my little trick getting drunk off hard kombucha's
[00:49:22] and pretending I just I'm tired right and then I haven't fallen off the wagon
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[00:50:07] 30% off today today folks Martin Luther King would have wanted you to have a
[00:50:13] cushy dream he really would have wanted that I had a cushy dream that one day I
[00:50:27] oh Martin Luther Gager and brought that was in the copy by the way
[00:50:33] you asked us to say that word for word they liked it oh also guys I forgot to
[00:50:39] mention Martin Luther if you're around on February 17 my name is my name is I'm
[00:50:43] gonna be I Caroline is mom to be I'm a pussy I'm a side you've already done
[00:50:47] three plugs this episode no no you take a break you derailed the show what do you
[00:50:51] talk to eat to do all your plugs in one little block I did one don't I forgot
[00:50:56] one plug you already done you've done twice Fabulous up to the Carolinas are
[00:51:00] Broadway thank you now let's get back to you got a run that plug you do you do
[00:51:05] it Martin Luther you do Martin Luther poochy June okay I have a dream that I
[00:51:11] torture the dogs for the coronavirus no poochy has a dog's pussy don't you even
[00:51:18] remember Anthony poochy there it's all jumbled up no it's not jumbled up it was
[00:51:23] three hours yeah but it might be in a few future episodes it isn't a few
[00:51:26] trips are not for you though you know who Anthony poochy is and then it gives
[00:51:32] you the benefit of the we you look like the guy who invented Anthony poochy we're
[00:51:36] gonna say you stole that I was the guy who invented look you think I'm mean to
[00:51:40] you but I you were setting you up he was setting you up you're like I'm
[00:51:44] basically infused I thought you were telling me not to I'm Tom from Miller's
[00:51:48] crossing and you're like Verna yeah you're not Leo I'm also Leo I'm Tom Leo
[00:51:53] in your verna I'm Leo no you're clearly fucking I haven't watched her
[00:51:58] well I had a dream but I'm not I know you're gonna say I'm not him
[00:52:03] right no thank I've got John Polito's character what the fuck is his name
[00:52:08] yeah actually John is he cool I look kind of like that does he win at the end
[00:52:12] it's a question of ethics doesn't John Polito kind of come out on top I don't
[00:52:17] know it's going to be where a businessman can't fix a fight no more
[00:52:20] yeah that is me actually that's you if you can't fix a fight what can you trust
[00:52:24] in the world I had a dream that I was a Italian doctor with a dog's pussy
[00:52:31] Bernie burn bomb got me man I had a good time
[00:52:39] hey you guys want to hear the rest of the same Johnny Casper Johnny
[00:52:45] Johnny Casper is is John Polito's character's name does he win in the movie
[00:52:50] or ask him if you can kill Bernie Burn by my say no it's about play Leo oh yeah
[00:52:56] isn't Leo over over his head we was over his head because he's like he's not so
[00:53:01] for Verna right he wants Verna's pussy and he doesn't realize Tom's fucking
[00:53:05] there and Verna's just trying to protect her brother who Johnny Casper
[00:53:09] wants to kill I see and Leo won't let Johnny Casper kill Bernie Burn bomb
[00:53:15] because of his attachment to right so it's the woman that's got Leo fucked
[00:53:21] up otherwise you know Tom was just tell him let him whack fucking Bernie
[00:53:25] yeah because Bernie Burn bomb is a homosexual oh right okay it's all coming
[00:53:31] back to me he's having an affair with with think when you saw Steve Buscemi
[00:53:39] who's the Dane who was Johnny Casper is like muscle is gay with think and then
[00:53:45] think his fucking burn bomb there's a lot of lent and interesting layers it is a
[00:53:52] perfect move it's a great flick yeah you said you would you said you didn't
[00:53:59] not yet not yet not until there's a silence until I've done repeating lines
[00:54:04] from Miller's cross as I was you said you were dying you said you didn't care
[00:54:13] about Leo I said I was doing it again here you remember those classic lines
[00:54:20] or that the ballers crossing try this one on for size Miller's penis
[00:54:30] Miller's mother fucking Jesus time I just asked you to kill me your cock
[00:54:36] don't you show me your cock first Leo that's good stuff okay where were we
[00:54:45] Adam go ahead tap water the water that you get out of a municipal supply or
[00:54:51] well supply has more chemicals that your body needs my office is on the same
[00:54:57] floor with the staff of the CBS early show about 60 people almost all the
[00:55:02] women working there have a bottle on their desk it's like a security blanket
[00:55:07] it's always there they carry it with them wherever they go I think more women
[00:55:11] than men drink bottled water to out by the elevator here there's a water fountain
[00:55:17] the water is cooled very good and the filter is changed regularly I have never
[00:55:22] seen anyone drink this free water so maybe I'll try and get in on this bottled
[00:55:28] water boom we've designed this Rooney water bottle and I'm gonna fill it from
[00:55:33] the fountain here and see if I can sell it to the women on this floor for a dollar
[00:55:37] I'm gonna see if I can take a peek at the pussy is a woman on the floor
[00:55:43] it is the water that's awesome that's really interesting because women are
[00:55:47] supposed to be so sick that that was his job it's like a security blanket for
[00:55:51] these broads he's fucking dumb bitches that's cool I got was really he got to
[00:55:57] just do Rance you got to do Rance about things he didn't understand
[00:56:03] oh fuck dude I want to suck on the dick coming back to me when you suck on my
[00:56:13] dick and I'm gonna make me suck girl and I put on a dress and I'm a man six with
[00:56:23] men I'm a girl I'm wearing girls clothes and I'm taking pills to turn me into a
[00:56:28] girl I'm going breasts when did that start yeah when did my penis fall off and
[00:56:37] now I have a pussy used to be I had a penis used to be I had a cock and I could
[00:56:44] stand up when I pissed anymore not the Democrats have their way
[00:56:52] what is going on why am I turning trans that would be awesome if he was like I
[00:56:57] am turning into a woman because of the Democrats imagine you're peeing and your
[00:57:01] penis falls off and then you have to sit down to finish the pee sound crazy
[00:57:05] no it's real it happened to me and it's happening to me happen to me this morning
[00:57:10] we can't let Biden win or I'm gonna grow a pussy Biden wants it to happen to you
[00:57:21] damn I'm gonna put on top of calls him tonight we're almost at Tucker time 8 p.m.
[00:57:27] right when I found out I got the DVR recording it fucking BET Friday nights
[00:57:35] three episodes in New York under oh that's awesome I've been looking for that show
[00:57:39] on DVD it doesn't stream anywhere no it's got to be on something oh dude no you
[00:57:44] couldn't find it forever and I mean it when I say like going back to like 2009
[00:57:48] I was like searching for that I was a classic show but now when there's a
[00:57:52] hundred fucking streamers somebody must have had it in the library no really
[00:57:57] not even like pair like Paramount Plus or Peacock or some shit no no no no no
[00:58:01] show time no interesting that was a fucking sick show dude it's awesome
[00:58:08] yeah I used to watch it used to come on late at night when you suck on my dick
[00:58:15] and it's oh it's it's streaming on Philo the fuck is Philo it's a Greek streaming
[00:58:22] service pedophila it's $25 a month for Philo yeah it's so expensive well cuz
[00:58:30] they all their contents probably just were autistic guys like me and they're like I
[00:58:34] guess I have to do I want to I'll do my own voice thank you you piece of shit
[00:58:39] what is where that comes from I don't know say sorry the dark side of the move
[00:58:45] say sorry that one from here from the future I love calling back from the
[00:58:51] future yeah you're we had a good dark side of the moon oh yeah dark chocolate
[00:58:55] it made a lot of sense I remember like most of the things on the show below you
[00:59:00] get 60 channels for $25 a month oh it's like live TV I guess it's one of those
[00:59:06] live Adam subscribes to be Adam subscribes to a channel called Pilo which
[00:59:10] is a streaming service for people who sit down when they pee why do they do this
[00:59:16] because they're gay check that's so fucked up it's only on Philo probably
[00:59:26] thinking what the hell is Philo is it gay is it for gay guys yes
[00:59:32] Tucker makes a lot of good points is a channel for gay people your children
[00:59:40] can tune in whenever they want whenever they want oh shit with the camera so
[00:59:47] can up to just sprinted yeah was the last time you had some Philo though Adam
[00:59:52] I don't remember I had but I've oh there's a really good place that does
[00:59:59] baklava and Oakland Gardens and Queens Oakland Gardens and if you're driving
[01:00:04] out to Long Island you pass it bro there's good baklava and fucking a story we
[01:00:08] got plenty of fucking there's this type of what's the bread called the
[01:00:12] palisie baker you they make a major bread holla oh Bobka Bobka damn Bob
[01:00:19] is good she's really good you imagine Bobka French toast yeah I have I've had
[01:00:23] it shut up just shut up I've had it just shut up chocolate chip Bobka French
[01:00:30] thank you out for Bobka French where I know place it doesn't and why haven't
[01:00:34] you is the question well we'll go you know I would love that remember when we
[01:00:37] had those shitty dumplings that I've been having Bobka French times that
[01:00:41] rest of my sister used to work at in the West Village they did Bobka French
[01:00:46] stuff it was crazy your sister lived here for like what two weeks like a year
[01:00:50] that was a whole year something like shit was fit our lives have gone
[01:00:55] they're leaving did she ever own apartment she lived in my old spot oh
[01:00:59] yeah that's right that's a nice apartment yeah she lived with Tony and Kayla
[01:01:04] where's this tell this Hong Kong fuck you dude I'm trying to go show you that
[01:01:09] pink building when you suck on my dick hog long hog long Hong Kong and you
[01:01:16] fuck all my and you fuck my and you call me and I can't find my dick
[01:01:23] which to watch the fucking last Christmas George Michael music video yeah
[01:01:28] it's one of the funniest things in the world just him pretending because he
[01:01:32] does this like I feel weird even doing it yes like laughing and he's like
[01:01:38] yeah but yeah but there's no sound I mean yeah we'll describe it music video
[01:01:47] George Michael bum bum bum bum I'm kind of sad it's not Christmas anymore last
[01:01:53] Christmas music video George Michael YouTube
[01:02:00] amazing song it's already queued up say you're 45 plus here we go
[01:02:16] all right sick yeah it's the mountains they're driving up in some cool jeeps
[01:02:21] that do honestly look awesome yeah yeah so that awesome blonde like yeah I like
[01:02:28] mohawk this is him he's waving to a woman yeah it's a it's a Joanne's fabrics
[01:02:33] kind of woman it's about it she's she's like it it's Christmas and he's with
[01:02:38] his girlfriend and he's showing he's got the new bitch because she fucked up she
[01:02:43] fucked up she's like oh I blew it with this homosexual
[01:02:47] he's like seeing all the friends he's the most feminine person here the new
[01:03:00] yeah they're going up the ski lift it's a nice video actually
[01:03:07] he's already talking to the guy there's a little sexual tension between him and
[01:03:15] Christmas you fucking blew it so now I brought a new bitch and I'm fucking your
[01:03:20] man he's the belt of the ball everybody loves George Michael it's a bunch of
[01:03:25] friends a bunch of bitches with weird haircuts cow upset she is dude I would
[01:03:30] love to smash that bitch I know she's got a cool hair I like her she's fire yeah
[01:03:44] damn about to start crying this is a emotional son it is as he sort of a
[01:03:51] hero and yeah absolutely yeah because most Greek men try to deny our
[01:03:59] ancient homosexuality right and he did for a while he did what he did is he
[01:04:04] embraced being homosexual but denied being Greek yes exactly we're still
[01:04:17] you see the bad feelings is the byproduct of philosophy yeah you think too
[01:04:22] much dude you'll excuse anything yeah you do enough thought experiments I mean
[01:04:27] he is the baddest bitch here look at him he's hotter than these women
[01:04:32] his hand he's got better makeup is that the other guy in Wham it is dude I mean
[01:04:41] he's fucking if a woman looked to me that way I would get so horny
[01:04:49] everyone's bored yeah I was having a good time I was this is what like 1984
[01:04:55] they'd be fucking ripped yeah they'd be on fucking they'd be yacked out yeah
[01:04:59] they're like our generation's the best we're never gonna die we stopped saying
[01:05:05] the and we're gonna let black people live in open-air prisons in the cities oh
[01:05:10] now he's chasing her they're having a cute little oh man yeah he's gonna get
[01:05:17] by the fire yeah oh they're remembering last Christmas oh and she's fucking
[01:05:24] doing the brush the next day bitch you gave the hardaway bitch
[01:05:40] I would be fucked up to go on vacation with the bitch that fucking curved you
[01:05:44] the year before I would never do that you can see you can talk out of don't
[01:05:49] worry about it it's a wild move you not put it back though not too much all right
[01:05:55] they're all the group is all going the group is all going somewhere maybe they're
[01:06:01] leaving is that really it there's nothing is he not gonna fuck the old
[01:06:11] you know what I might do a little Chinese truth tonight not a bad idea
[01:06:17] I think I'm gonna go eat like a whole box of cereal go to bed like 9 p.m. why
[01:06:22] just because Jordan said it you know I didn't even realize it but yeah yeah
[01:06:27] this just got into my fat brain yeah all right yeah I made a joke about what
[01:06:31] happened he doesn't get the girl back I don't know what I forgot what we were
[01:06:35] watching yeah he just stays with his new bitch I zone down I started thinking
[01:06:39] about General so it's chicken again nice where do you get really good how
[01:06:43] to see they're all the fucking same you know get ordered it's it's more expensive
[01:06:48] in order from birds of a feather well folks thanks for sticking around for
[01:06:53] George Michael corner this weekend and the play us off we're gonna have E gene
[01:06:58] Carol describe burgdorff Goodman's holiday sales