Cum Town | Regular | 03/16/2022
[00:00:00] Water is in the fridge. You know where the drinks or the cups are
[00:00:05] We started we're starting yeah, cuz we're on we're on a tight we're on a tight schedule here
[00:00:12] Just a glass of water, please we're on a tight schedule here boys
[00:00:19] We got a special guest filling in for Stav today, but he's barely
[00:00:29] Think I don't know what to say say what I think
[00:00:34] That you and I combined or a staff. Yeah weight wise. Yeah, cuz we both weigh about 115 pounds
[00:00:41] Yeah, we're both yeah, we're both skinny legends. Yeah, I don't know if that's an us problem or a him problem
[00:00:59] The original iteration because I used to just do drop shipping. So that's when I did those mugs
[00:01:04] That's also that that gayest kid in school backpack that that one was pretty cool. That was fantastic
[00:01:09] Yeah, I saw some someone took a picture once of a guy going through customs with that backpack. Yeah, that was an Australian
[00:01:16] That was the peak of this thing when it was like it was truly just absurd the ways we could print money
[00:01:23] But like now it's like you know now we make money the way Netflix makes money
[00:01:28] I'm like nobody loves Netflix. It's like I signed up for this thing. I fucking forgot about too much of a hassle
[00:01:34] We got to give Obama a 50 million dollar producer deal. Yeah to get some new content up
[00:01:43] But the gay the charging people $70 for a gayest kid in school back
[00:01:50] $70 backpack that was like drop ships from China
[00:01:54] We were hanging out one time. You know, I have to go I have to autograph the gayest kid in school
[00:02:00] I went to Prospect Park and I signed someone's gayest kid in school back. You met him in the park in the bathroom
[00:02:06] Yeah, I didn't even know they had bathrooms a prospect I don't know if they do
[00:02:10] It sounds like you do know. I think they probably do you know's the exact area of the part
[00:02:15] Yeah, I give you the longitude and latitude of it right now the men's bathroom at the luxurious stalls are in
[00:02:35] They call me the brand look was it the Ramblar the Ramblar the Ramblar the Ramblar
[00:02:41] That's you know, I'm very Kenny Kenny Rogers is a ramblar. Yeah, Kenny Rogers the brambler. Yeah, yeah
[00:02:52] In the middle of central park I was going to the bathroom and the guy looked at me
[00:03:10] The sign is two taps of the foot so I handed him my bottle
[00:03:19] Then he bummed the cigarette and asked me for a light
[00:03:26] Yeah after you come with a guy in a bathroom you slide a cigarette under the stall too you do
[00:03:32] To say job well done. I don't know if it's taps. I've never done that. Did you ever do the handkerchief code?
[00:03:41] No, that could have code area. Thank you. Well, that could have really intersected with your scott days. You know the codes
[00:03:47] No, I don't know the code. Yeah, it's like I think yellow is for like Zion
[00:03:55] Morpheus you have the codes if you hold a what does the red handkerchief mean?
[00:04:01] I think that meant you were into like rough like being rough. Oh like bloody water
[00:04:06] Just all gay sex is not like they're not no one's having like fucking tender Tony Scott billowing no like satin
[00:04:23] Is that Tom Cruise and fucking God Kilmer having take my breath away? Oh
[00:04:29] Well the way I imagine is one fella's on a motorcycle
[00:04:33] Then the other guy's sitting on his lap, but he's doing my cool teacher style over the chair
[00:04:45] Takes him around on the motor side having that kind of sex, but you can be the change you want to see in the world Nick. Yeah
[00:04:51] Next to romantic. That's why he's never crossed the threshold
[00:04:55] What threshold of sex with a man with threshold. Oh, I guess
[00:04:59] I'm retired. I feel like your dick should fall off when you turn 30
[00:05:03] I think that's it. I mean your sex drive does no
[00:05:07] You still have a sex drive, but you don't want to use your dick. No, I mean I guess I well
[00:05:12] I don't even know I don't feel like I've been horny since I was probably like 17
[00:05:16] You just sort of like fuck it something to do
[00:05:24] out of necessity the bear necessity. Yeah, I
[00:05:28] Only have to do it. I'm trying to get another revenue stream because the you know the podcast is gonna be here forever
[00:05:35] So yeah, we got to do something. I'm sorry. Maybe selling pasta sauce or starting a moving company
[00:05:41] It seems to be the way to go. I don't know. I've been I've been wearing a mini bum the cigarette
[00:05:48] Suck me on my car. I've been doing some chatter bait
[00:05:51] Yeah, would you do a chatter bait if you were like a ski mask and no, no
[00:05:57] Well, oh meagle is just that's free right where I guess chatter bait is too, but you can get a tip on it. Oh
[00:06:03] Oh, oh, yeah, yeah chatter baits. Yeah chatter bait is like you get tokens. Yeah
[00:06:09] But you know if you're not into tipping this will you look that's what I like
[00:06:16] I like how it's tipping optional tip is up. Yeah, that's that's what brings me to their service
[00:06:22] This is the hottest apartment I've ever been in my tires. Well, you just rode your bike. Yeah, it's really not that bad
[00:06:30] It's from the thermometer in the kitchen. I can look it up. Yeah. Yeah sweating
[00:06:36] He came from a doctor's appointment. Everything's all good. Yeah at the doctor. Yeah, it's 75 degrees in here. Oh
[00:06:50] Slight temperature show some like it hot, you know
[00:06:53] That's what would be called this place. I think that was the name of my high school yearbook. So I'm like it hot
[00:06:59] Yeah, that's you went to it you went to a cross dress and I spoke through your yearbooks. I have no idea
[00:07:06] Well, I was the class of 2005. So we have the it was a food booth theme really yeah
[00:07:12] Yeah, we did a 4s bias 0 5 style theme damn. Oh
[00:07:19] I don't think it was I think I'm making that up. I
[00:07:22] Wish I was a I wish I was like yeah, I wish I was black I
[00:07:27] Got in a late night drunken argument with a fellow comedian friend of ours
[00:07:33] Because I was at the night drunkenly said that
[00:07:37] Said that and he he was like you're fucking mentally ill bro. Well, you said you wish you were black
[00:07:42] I was like yeah more than anything. Yeah. Yeah, he was angry. Have you seen him?
[00:07:47] Like no, but I call them I was like it is everything chill. He's like, yeah, sorry. I was drunk. Oh, okay
[00:07:55] Yeah, I'm gonna add a rough trade Trist
[00:07:59] With a fellow comedian. Yeah, you know it got it got weird folks
[00:08:05] Remember that there was like a whole there was like a decade of like Los Angeles comedy. That's like not to be weird
[00:08:11] Yeah, it's sorry for being super awkward. That was the Pete Holmes
[00:08:17] Podcast yeah, then all of those people turned out to be sexual criminal
[00:08:21] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they really made it pretty weird, but I happen to be a huge fan of zombies and Batman and
[00:08:29] I have raped weird but I'm gonna rape you but I'm weird, but there's a cute girl who's doing improv 101 and I
[00:08:41] and then and then you know I had my way with her and
[00:08:44] And and then I went to immediately didn't open mic and did a bit about missing my bar mitzvah missing
[00:08:51] Missing mother's with shallow days of my bar mitzvah
[00:09:05] I mean, I think that's a pretty like PG 13 or PG kind of like oh, we're just hanging out
[00:09:13] We're making what we're doing wild takes yeah, and I was like yeah, I wish I was I was wish that more than anything
[00:09:21] He's like you're fucking weird man. That's fucking weird what?
[00:09:25] Yeah, it was like I'm not a series. I don't think I'm gonna meet a wizard one day
[00:09:31] I don't think it's something that's possible in the material
[00:09:34] You know how many you meet a lady and they're like you could have three wishes, but you can't wish for this one of those
[00:09:38] Like you can't wish to be black. Yeah, I mean obviously I wouldn't switch any definitely being white is the best one
[00:09:49] Black no, I've always said if I could change
[00:09:53] Have to be some kind of like nebulous sort of gas or energy ball
[00:09:58] You know I think I said literally before I prefer to be like a poisonous cloud
[00:10:02] Like in the show lost they just sort of seeps under
[00:10:06] Fucking just murderous cloud Alex Mac of
[00:10:11] Evilness what is that you remember Alex Mac?
[00:10:15] Chick they could go into like silver goo and go underneath doors in remember
[00:10:20] She was running from school and she stepped in like nuclear sludge as a local audience. Oh her glue. Yeah
[00:10:30] Yeah, he was a mr. President you're you're a freaking dummy
[00:10:39] Goo that guy when he'd goo Trump you got goo Trump just got goo
[00:10:57] She's she's I'm saying this only because she's 18 and of legal age, but she's a what she's a hot trader who?
[00:11:06] She's this girl. That's really good. I'm pretty style. Ski 35 years old describing an Asian 18 year old
[00:11:12] That is one hot trader that is one sexy bed
[00:11:22] If I could get a look at that pussy that is one cool customer. Yeah, she's a
[00:11:28] Irene goo Eileen goo she she was she's really good at a freestyle skiing like you're really not particularly
[00:11:34] Tran she's pretty hot. She's she's like Brooklyn normal. Yeah. No, she's not
[00:11:39] This is just she's all these pictures are wearing goggles and I'm like, she's the hottest
[00:11:47] It's not from the dog. She's not unattractive in the slightest, but to like she's a good looking to publicly label yourself a borderline
[00:11:55] Petify for the sake of this isn't being attracted to this woman who's in parkas and ski gear. Yeah, I'm saying that she's attractive
[00:12:04] You do why spiders because I've just been thinking about being a black guy in my whole life. I can't think about a girl's age
[00:12:12] Yeah, you got the green mile you want to be a black guy so you can punch her and get away with it
[00:12:16] No, Ian you don't have to take it there. I tried to make out in black books
[00:12:21] This was gonna hit his head and becomes black
[00:12:28] They couldn't do it boss. He killed me with flies. It's okay, John
[00:12:32] Anyway, she's this girl from you tried your balance for California who?
[00:12:39] She competes for Chinese being we have Chinese traders California
[00:12:48] And a lot of people are pissed off about that wait cuz she's from California and she's skiing for China
[00:12:53] She's for China. She defected to go ski gear. It's a fact. I think she lives in America
[00:12:58] You're not a 17 year old department fucking took away her
[00:13:02] Citizen shit. I'm attracted to the fact that she's playing for the winning team. She asked me
[00:13:07] No, she didn't even win dude. What are you talking about? She got the fucking gold? No, she didn't yes
[00:13:12] She did no that you're just here's a picture of her biting your gold. Your eyes are clouded by love
[00:13:18] No, it's not about love. It's about the fact that she that she's that she's smart and she knows you want her to go skiing and grab on your
[00:13:25] pole. She's trying to eat the metal she I
[00:13:28] Thought these people are supposed to be she read the tea leaves and she knows that America is in its decline
[00:13:36] I'd love to podcast for China anytime. He's an American born freestyle skier to time Olympic gold medalist and ma and model native
[00:13:44] Nate you can't even read her name. She's competed for China in half pipe slope style
[00:13:55] Slope style well we're clicking on that and it's a winter sport where athlete skiers snowboard. Yeah, it's like we do rails
[00:14:09] It's where you do like tricks and stuff on this on the slopes
[00:14:12] Can someone Photoshop a picture of her on skis in Tiananmen Square? Very funny because you know what half pipe is also sort of a
[00:14:27] You can go there's a lot there's a lot of stuff in here. Yeah
[00:14:35] Well, I just I think other teenagers are you attracted to Adam?
[00:14:39] You know that's that's about it. I just said that she was that she was attractive
[00:14:44] I didn't say that I was attracted to her
[00:14:46] And I don't know why I'm still defending this point because I feel like I
[00:14:56] That is weird though hanging out and just being like yeah, whatever and someone be like that not cool fuck you
[00:15:04] What do you mean like oh for saying that yeah, I don't know man. I didn't mean to really bring it up
[00:15:16] Yeah, I apologize to everyone I apologize to the people of China 30 million dollars in Chinese endorsement deals
[00:15:23] Yeah, that's why she did it she did it because she knew she'd be a massive celebrity there
[00:15:27] Yeah, it's smart very smart and she'll probably get a book to you. I lean goo. You think she's smart
[00:15:33] You think she did the voice what you think she did the voice while she was over there. Yeah, of course
[00:15:38] She did the voice then like oh, thank you
[00:15:44] Well, you know do you think she did the voice of course she did the voice all right she speaks Chinese
[00:15:51] Yeah, like that you know that NBC show the voice I finally got around to watching that not
[00:15:57] Completely different I was yeah, I was fucking you know
[00:16:04] Shane Gillis one season to I thought Shane but Shane doesn't do the voice he does do the voice said
[00:16:11] He goes to Shane on that show and being like yeah, what is this where they keep the chinks and then fucking how he
[00:16:18] Mandel is like I got a ding yeah, it's close
[00:16:24] That's the premise of the show is not the word. It's not the word. It's not the show is it called the word. It's called the voice
[00:16:31] Yeah, yeah, and for the incitement cow was like that was positively
[00:16:43] So it's the reverse that I've ever seen it was good surprise twist
[00:16:54] My new and then he has a cape that he just holds over the bottom of his face
[00:16:58] Dude, I yeah, he's still doing I know I said it on the show but old men like old white guys
[00:17:05] Who were never in the military but love wearing like a hat like the wear like a navy hat for a specific ship
[00:17:12] Like the medals on it be like the USS Cavalier
[00:17:16] Like like oh were you on that boat? They're like now, you know, there's like a fans of the old stolen valor guys
[00:17:22] They love doing surprise twist reviews or like when they give like a tip to a waiter. They love
[00:17:28] He's talking about those old guys love being like they're like, I would like to speak to the manager, please
[00:17:35] And then make the waiter stand there and the manager come to over and he's like this young man
[00:17:47] Like I love doing that like this all gravitas towards
[00:17:52] Yeah, there's just wasting everyone's wasting everyone's time
[00:17:56] This is like dope for the old thing because they have to like getting him scared also
[00:18:00] Yeah, right. I give the thing in that he's gonna lose his job. Those guys love that the fucking
[00:18:06] And then it's like that's just it has like another day at Bob Evans
[00:18:10] They go try different, you know, they go to Bob Evans do that. They're Bob's big boy
[00:18:14] Dude, I miss that I miss our old pal the fucking the gossip of hardies. Mm-hmm. Yes FBI. I would like to report
[00:18:24] I would like to report the waiter at Bob Evans
[00:18:28] I like for what and he's like for making the best damn meal
[00:18:35] They're like, oh, it's just this Ronnie isn't it? He's like, yes, it is
[00:18:39] Good the I'll talk to you tomorrow. All right. I'll we'll talk you later Ronnie
[00:18:45] That's so funny, dude. Thanks. Thanks for saying that
[00:18:49] Just in case of people at home are like why am I still paying for this show?
[00:18:52] Well, this is the free episode. They don't know for it. They do
[00:18:55] I've got I've hacked into the bank accounts of everyone to listen to this show
[00:18:59] It is true if you want to keep continuing the free episode or light and join the free episodes
[00:19:04] We do need a little bit of personal information. Yeah
[00:19:07] Yeah, yeah, we got really tanked quality of the show so people aren't
[00:19:13] You know, I know more though. I'm like, why is the show ending? How long are you gonna keep the show going for?
[00:19:20] About the month yeah, trying to yeah, we're trying to do maybe we want to be out by the end of the year
[00:19:25] Maybe three weeks because it's like we did the math on it and went the amount of money the show makes
[00:19:30] We'd have to do it for another decade to have Eileen goo money
[00:19:36] To have goo Chinese she would have a puku goo at this point. She wouldn't even look at me. Yeah. Yeah
[00:19:43] I feel like I'm dating of she's like I'm dating or like a like hasn't no just like a fucking one of those like
[00:19:51] Royals of like a small you're like a Luxembourg Duke or something. Yeah. Yeah, you know
[00:19:56] Like how much she did what could be cool is like learning Chinese and going over to China and like living in like you know
[00:20:02] Some like fucking Chinese ass place. Oh no one speaks English woods. No one speaks English
[00:20:08] Yeah, just like an E-walk village. Yeah, basically
[00:20:10] And but you know you nailed it and then you hire a film crew to come over and do like a documentary on you and
[00:20:16] Then you're going around you've already established a relationship with like all the Chinese people
[00:20:20] So you speak Chinese to them, but then to the film crew be like yeah
[00:20:23] This is my best friend we hang out all day and then you're just doing the voice in English to the film crew and no no one's the wiser and
[00:20:32] It's just four and a half hours of that
[00:20:34] Have you explained in your life and in fucking Chinese village with a little teddy bear people could you go?
[00:20:42] Could you have a rudimentary knowledge of Chinese go over there living one of those villages for like two to three months and
[00:20:49] Survive yeah, probably yeah, what do you mean survive? Would they be all right with you being there?
[00:20:56] Yeah, they're human beings. Yeah, of course and they'd be doing pranks on you the whole time
[00:21:00] They'd be dying of life. They might think you're like fucking yeah weird and make fun of you
[00:21:04] Yeah, you know be talking shit on you, but they wouldn't fucking kill you very few people are actually evil
[00:21:10] You know and most people are assholes right the vast majority of people are fucking mean spirited assholes
[00:21:17] Right, but very few people are actually like evil
[00:21:20] You know I mean I think the majority of people are good
[00:21:23] But the assholes get the magnifying glass on them the magnifying glass. Yeah, society's society's
[00:21:38] Somehow work in my bookies they get the magnifying glass and the rest of us are the ants you know the good guys
[00:21:46] No, and they harness the power of the slant we see them through the magnifying glass
[00:21:51] Which makes the ants look bigger. Yeah, but at the end of the day. They're just you know it's funny
[00:21:58] By happiness or whatever, but now that I'm rich. I'm definitely a nicer person the people yeah
[00:22:03] Yeah, yeah for sure. I used to be way meaner when I didn't have money now. You could say that's just a bit
[00:22:07] You can say that's just a function of like emotional maturity. You know say that I got older
[00:22:12] I think that coincides with I'm getting older, but I have I have friends that have gotten older that have continued the struggle
[00:22:18] Who have become yet even more bitter and of course? Oh, of course worse people. Yeah less
[00:22:26] So money can in a roundabout way by your happiness because it allows you to
[00:22:34] With life so this is your argument for universal base income. No, it's my argument for being rich
[00:22:40] I'm like if you want if you want that you got to make yourself you gotta find a way to produce something that society needs
[00:22:50] Comparatively so you need or you go to my bookie dot age. Okay, that's how you get rich and that's how you get
[00:22:56] He got a my bookie dot ag and let's see if they send me. Oh, I just want to say I'm I was rich in retweets
[00:23:04] Mentioning that tweet of mine on the puck as it would ever be just gotta pay you
[00:23:08] We got you a lot of money. Yeah, you do owe me a lot of money. I'll be taking stop pay for this episode
[00:23:16] Alright, so here's here's the deal guys. Yeah, you go to my bookie dot age you you get a hundred percent sports
[00:23:23] Welcome bonus you get a hundred and fifty percent bonus up to
[00:23:27] 750 at their casino you guys want to bet on a Chinese scare my
[00:23:32] Donkey comm yeah, I think so I think you're gonna put all your money. You know, boy
[00:23:37] You want to go on go your team might have missed the big game this year
[00:23:41] But my bookies double deposit bonus make sure you won't sign up at my bookie now use promo code
[00:23:47] Come town or come town 20. We can't remember which one it is to have your first deposit matched instantly
[00:23:52] So you can get in on all the action of Super Bowl 56 the only way watching the biggest game of the year could get any better
[00:23:59] Is to get paid doing it my bookie gives you everything you need to do it
[00:24:04] With double your money you can double your winnings and the best starting point for the big game is with the Super Bowl prop bets
[00:24:10] Whether it's on or off the field. There's no shortage of wagers to choose from for the suit
[00:24:15] You know what I used to love you ever do the audition scene. Yes. I used to love doing those as much as I hated
[00:24:21] I hate when I had when I come where you with was it's
[00:24:25] CSD. Yes. Yes. No, no, I was with Abrams
[00:24:29] I was with CSD. Yeah, and I hated doing on-screen camera
[00:24:34] auditions I despised them. I love in in room on camera
[00:24:40] Yeah, I booked the room if I don't get the gig the director or producer would hit me up later for something else
[00:24:46] Amazing and now everything self tape you get you would get booked a lot
[00:24:50] But I hated that but doing voiceover stuff. I loved I loved it
[00:24:54] It's fun. Yeah, it's voiceovers way more fun doing like a fun voice
[00:24:58] Yeah, cuz I got feel like I would look absurd if I did a voice like on camera
[00:25:03] Mm-hmm, but when it's just a voice, you know, and you're alone in your room. No, I would go in. Oh, you would do
[00:25:10] Oh, I thought you meant during the pin. No, dude. I would always go in no, they dropped me
[00:25:13] See it they see SD drop me it's funny because I had different representation for on-screen and
[00:25:18] Voice and after the IBM thing right that agent never spoke to me again. Yeah, though on camera
[00:25:24] But the voice over the voice over people always went more chill anyways
[00:25:27] Could you would you still do voiceover? Yeah, it's not worth it. Yeah, yeah
[00:25:32] No, I mean, it's like the amount of money is did you ever get those reads for where it was like
[00:25:38] This is a product and my bookie my bookie got a g a g by the way because
[00:25:43] Sorry, what were you saying they it's with the voice over stuff?
[00:25:47] They would be like this is a product that makes you happy grateful and excited
[00:25:53] Mm-hmm. This is something that brings you together with your family. It makes you go huh?
[00:26:00] These toastitos are like what yeah, no, I love when they were to make you do like the quick reading stuff. Uh, you know
[00:26:11] Like insurance spots or whatever. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you got to get all this in yeah in like 30 seconds
[00:26:18] With double your money and you can double your winnings with best bookie buddy, but you know like that kind of shit
[00:26:22] The Super Bowl prop bets whether it's on or off the field
[00:26:25] There's no shortage of wagers to choose from for the Super Bowl to so get in on the action
[00:26:28] Let the confetti fall and walk away a winner
[00:26:30] Don't miss out head to my bookie that a G and double your first deposit up to a thousand dollars by using promo code come town
[00:26:35] Super Bowl was a month ago, but place your bets and get ready for unmatched excitement of the Super Bowl
[00:26:41] It was a month ago bet anywhere anytime. I can't find the new copy Adam. Please do you have for next year?
[00:26:47] So you have other ads your team your team might have missed the big game this year
[00:26:54] But my bookies double deposit bonus. You could just do stuff like that
[00:26:57] Can we hear Adam? Who would you who would you sign up in my penis?
[00:27:01] Start in my bookie from more me or Nick. What do you mean? All right in you try?
[00:27:07] Your team might have missed a big game this year. No, but my bookies double deposit bonus. Make sure you won
[00:27:13] Sorry, that's two thousand sign up at my bookie now. That's two first of all I can
[00:27:18] Immediately pinpoint that you're from the Mid-Atlantic
[00:27:26] You got it you got it. I've gotten so many emails
[00:27:34] Yeah, it's hard it's fucking hard because it's not yeah
[00:27:40] Oh my god unless you do another accent, you know, yeah, I did dude
[00:27:45] I got a Heineken commercial during the pandemic. Mm-hmm voiceover heineken beer tastes fucking really good. Yep. I
[00:27:55] You poached me. Yeah through it like a million times. Don't miss out head to my bookie and double your first deposit up to a thousand dollars
[00:28:04] I'll do a hundred thousand dollars using promo code. Come down
[00:28:13] I'm just looking at eyelid and goo since to go. Yeah, this is this is Adam chasing Eileen go around China
[00:28:33] Yeah, we just like what like legs wobbling on a set of skis you've been waiting that to
[00:28:41] Send that you know to use that fucking Benny Hill theme the whole time. What's that you were like your plan coming here?
[00:28:47] Was like I'm gonna use it. I'm gonna work the Benny Hill theme
[00:28:50] I got a job my house, but the cat bit into it and wouldn't
[00:28:55] Into it we learned we learned last week that the whoopie Goldberg's name
[00:29:04] Yeah, she said that sometimes you don't have when I was on stage
[00:29:07] I didn't have time to go to the bathroom. So I would just bust out my I would fall out of my ass
[00:29:13] Yeah, it was because she farted so much and it legitimately we're not making this up. They call me whoopie
[00:29:23] No, I swear to God security she made it's on her wake up. He did wait is she is there is there a clip of her saying that?
[00:29:31] No, it's on her wake up. He's on her wake up. He's someone had to have made that up after her whole
[00:29:36] Recent debacle. Mm-hmm. There's no way that's real
[00:29:40] No, no, it's for her to use that as her professional name and thank you goodness
[00:30:00] Doreen wants to know how did you come up with the name would be gold
[00:30:05] Well, no, my name is Karen Karen Johnson like the temple
[00:30:11] So pleased to be here. I've got the most wonderful
[00:30:15] No, I'm a farder and so I was we have had a small theater in
[00:30:21] San Diego called the San Diego rap and it was that big and there was no backstage and so if you you know
[00:30:27] You had to let it go. Yeah, let it go. Oh, that's fine. And so people said you like a whoopee cushion
[00:30:34] So it was whoopee cushions that were shown
[00:30:40] Seriously being called whoopee cushion and I said to her oh great name or of the stars
[00:30:45] What should I use the way you might say use one of the family names?
[00:30:48] She's called us to what happens so go over here's a family name, but Emma did that my mom did that
[00:30:53] Oh, you mother was great. She was great. I really liked her so her name her name
[00:31:00] I'm a foreigner and then using a Jewish name to get further in the industry. Yes. That's what her mother
[00:31:11] Yeah, I will name you don't miss out head to my bookie and double your first deposit
[00:31:19] A G make you go down come town 20 come down come they get it 100% bonus up to a thousand dollars plus ten more dollars
[00:31:28] I want you to imagine this little website was wide
[00:31:38] Sorry, I just took a sip of water. He took a piece. I took a piss of water piece. I don't know to piece
[00:31:44] That's like a piss of water. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god
[00:31:51] Yeah, I got my CPA dropped me and I got a new one but through my bookkeeper
[00:31:56] I've never talked to this there's somebody that just did my taxes. Yeah, and then took money out of my account
[00:32:03] I have not spoken to them directly. I don't know if that's like good or bad. Did they do a good job?
[00:32:08] I've already I never look at my tax return read this commercial copy for deodorant. It's comedic tone
[00:32:15] No, no, no, no free no free. It's not a real product. Don't say the name. Okay teen slash adult commercials on camera
[00:32:23] All right, let's hear it. Let's hear it
[00:32:28] Headaches we all get them. We all wish they would go away. There is a solution
[00:32:34] I just take two and there's no more tension. No more throbbing. No more pain my headache
[00:32:45] Okay, and then here this is a sneaker company
[00:32:48] It's a mindset of focus a deep-seated spirit
[00:32:52] It's an inner strength to keep your feet planted firmly on the ground no matter what presses against you. It's confidence
[00:32:59] It's belief. It's a way of life. It's the brand. I don't want people knowing about Nike
[00:33:07] People find me out about I can't I'm not giving Nike free reads this one's for pine salt
[00:33:17] Whoever said that a smell can bring back a flood of memories. I'm a little too hot. I'm a little too hot on here
[00:33:26] Send this to you what do you guys say? Would you hire me? Yeah, of course. I don't know Nike. I don't know
[00:33:33] I gotta hear Adam. You like sneakers. I get a pair of sneakers for you right here faggot
[00:33:41] Let's go. Let's do this one again, and maybe not the don't say the faggot part. Hey you bunch of fucking
[00:33:50] Nike yeah, we got shoes that aren't you guys it?
[00:34:06] It's a mindset bitch a focus a deep-seated spirit get it in inner strength to keep your feet
[00:34:13] Mine certainly on the ground. It's a focus. We should get you should bring me and we should do like good competing audition
[00:34:19] Yes, doing all the doing it to go in at the same time just frustrates the sound engineer
[00:34:38] It's a mind safe belief and aware life. All right. Can I try?
[00:34:42] You see you are you have to aware the sneaker please
[00:34:46] I like it. I'm a good you make a disney neither of you get the job
[00:34:53] Okay, can I try yeah, listen up brother? No my you already did you already did macho man?
[00:35:02] No, you thought you were like you were like hey Nick. Why don't you like fucking softball to me?
[00:35:07] What do you do your read and I'm like all right. I'll try it out. Oh, yeah watch it's chess
[00:35:12] It's not chess. Yeah, it's not my next move ahead. No, that's checkers
[00:35:18] Okay, here we go chess is that I already secretly have a deal with Nike
[00:35:24] And then I was like don't worry all a gaslight Ian into thinking he's replacing stop this week
[00:35:29] You just have somebody send him the copy
[00:35:32] And we'll we'll work it in we'll work the Nike. Yeah, this has been a ruse. This is never being released here Adam read
[00:35:39] I deodorant I'm gonna do the wipes and I'll say ever sit on a toilet and have that never end a wife
[00:35:48] Well those days are over again Freeman. That's not a very good one. You when you hear to well those days
[00:35:56] Ever sit on the toilet. Talk quiet or bring it down ever sit on a toilet and have that never ended you're making your voice
[00:36:03] crackle you need to you like a fraud ever sit on a toilet you ever sit on a toilet ever sit on a
[00:36:11] can have that never ended wife the first time I saw it. Hello, Chloe. Well those days are over. Have you ever sat in a toilet?
[00:36:28] Okay, I'll do the pine soul one pine soul do pine soles aes Ventura pine soles a cleaner
[00:36:34] Okay, this is my aes Ventura and what could be cleaner? Whoever said that's the smell the opens it Auschwitz
[00:36:40] That's good. John ham. Yeah. Yeah, what are you saying Don? We need to do a
[00:36:49] Pine soul is the gas they use in the gas tree. No, that's just a line from training day
[00:36:54] Says the gas smells like pine soul. I don't know. I was pretty pissed off watching that movie
[00:37:00] Did a white man would have a black boss? I
[00:37:04] Didn't get to the end where you find out the black boss is bad. Yeah, I would have felt better
[00:37:09] Yeah, that the that movies about how you can't have a black box
[00:37:12] And dick and eating this bottle up and a little bit getting fucked in my mouth
[00:37:18] Alright, I'm gonna do deodorant. This is how I do the read alright
[00:37:23] Whenever I feel like a sweaty slob there's one assurance. It gives me peace of mind deodorant
[00:37:29] Just one wipe under each armpit and I'm good to go for days
[00:37:33] I don't even need to shower for one whole week. That's how good this shizz is
[00:37:37] This shizz this shizz would you buy deodorant from that man?
[00:37:44] Huh would you buy deodorant from that man?
[00:37:52] No, I might if I was selling it on the streets vote you like that would you buy it from me? Yes?
[00:38:00] That's how good this she is actually I smell pretty bad right now
[00:38:04] Dude I did you one read where I was like a gay bear in a children's story like a like a
[00:38:15] Stuff bear that was like gay out and proud and one of the lines was like good. Bye Felicia
[00:38:23] Stereotypical what they would think like a gay character would be wow
[00:38:27] By Felicia who's like that's the thing that's what I love about commercials the people that make commercials are the most out of touch
[00:38:39] Untalented losers in the entire world totally oh yeah the worst and
[00:38:44] What's all the it's the creatives at the company? Yeah, right and and you go in there and it's all like fucking like yeah Cheerios are on fleek
[00:38:57] How are you fucking like yeah Nick and I well Nick Nick
[00:39:01] Brought me on a couple jobs. We used to PA on commercials. Uh-huh and
[00:39:07] Yeah, those people that are running the show there are just the absolute worst people
[00:39:10] I had to drive some bitch this I'm like Estee Lauder like
[00:39:14] fucking global marketing or I forget which makeup company
[00:39:18] But she said you know we start up a conversation she's in the car and it's like you know
[00:39:23] She's only a car 30 minutes and you can tell that this is like this is someone that has never once in their life thought like
[00:39:30] How's the bill gonna get paid ever right right right just fucking she went to some bullshit school
[00:39:37] Got like a communications degree. Yeah fucking had a job
[00:39:40] I had like a girl like a fake rich girl job set up for her like I just like makeup and skincare
[00:39:47] So then I got the job is you know like a C-suite fucking job like immediately is like
[00:39:52] You know saying like I like this makeup. Yeah, I like it. Let's do yeah
[00:39:57] We'll go and like what if for the commercial is in Milan and she's wearing makeup
[00:40:02] We'll find it. We'll find an ad agency to do it
[00:40:05] Let's just use one of the three biggest ad agencies there is and they'll make the same commercial that they've been making for 50 years
[00:40:12] And then Milan and it's in Milan and I get paid $600,000 a year
[00:40:18] Which is good because I'm like earning my own money now
[00:40:21] Yeah, like 32 and I'm finally earning my own my dad cut me off. Oh my god
[00:40:25] It was the best thing that ever happened right yeah, yeah, cuz it's like you know
[00:40:30] I mean it's like yeah, I asked my parents for support
[00:40:33] I understand a lot of people don't have that but like how am I supposed to afford?
[00:40:39] Mm-hmm one bedroom in the West Village. Yeah to live yeah to live directly on the park. Yeah, dude that in few this
[00:40:46] I was just talking to a friend catching up and I was like oh how so-and-so and like oh they just bought a house
[00:40:53] Huh? Mm-hmm with what what are they doing? Well? I go did or you mean
[00:41:00] Yeah, I think that goes without saying yeah, well that sucks and this is a person that's very like
[00:41:08] Yeah, but also very like left on the side of like we need to yeah
[00:41:14] You can't say like that's not a hypocritical of them to have those opinions
[00:41:19] That's good if they're a rich person. They understand those things. That's good
[00:41:22] That's not the people you fault. It's this fucking like makeup lady. That's like, you know, you know shit
[00:41:27] I mean, I don't know you know, I'm also just probably just fucking criticizing
[00:41:30] I have no idea what her politics are we didn't have any conversation about it, but yeah, I mean if it's like well
[00:41:41] Taiwanese own coffee shop years ago in a Taiwanese coffee shop listen to me
[00:41:46] I know I'm trying to understand what words you're saying
[00:41:49] Like like it was a small business this guy and his dad owned this like coffee shop really small
[00:41:55] This guy is Taiwanese. Yes the people that own everything I said I take back. She is not Taiwanese
[00:42:07] Taiwan is China you mean a Chinese owned coffee shop the Chinese coffee shop the note no Taiwan
[00:42:13] Yes, and so we will go by my way wrong. I will hear about I saw the voice
[00:42:22] Well, yeah, well, yeah, we are we are we are we are we are we are okay?
[00:42:30] Vietnamese yeah fucking just how it man dealt
[00:42:35] Nailed it perfect Randy Jackson. You got the sauce you got you putting the sauce on the flavor
[00:42:42] You know what I'm saying? You got the flavor you putting the sauce on top of it. I love what you're doing
[00:42:51] Man so what happened with this this girl that has a house now so it was this
[00:42:59] I better be sure there a lot. I saw her in there
[00:43:02] I said we talked for a little and then I left and the next time I went back the guy was like hey
[00:43:07] Do you know that girl? Yeah, you were talking to her go? Yeah, and he goes can you do me a favor?
[00:43:12] She wrote a really long negative Yelp review on
[00:43:17] Our shop and it's can lead to like hurting our business. Can you ask her to take it down?
[00:43:23] And I was like, oh Jesus Christ. Yeah, it's like she's rich and
[00:43:32] We need to help out these la la la and then like she's writing bad Yelp reviews about and she's Taiwanese
[00:43:38] I mean punk no is she's white. Oh because like when she hot also real quick. Yeah
[00:43:54] Well good for her that makes sense right yeah, yeah
[00:43:57] Oh, so that's not that's not somebody that's who would describe is leftist. Yeah, you just she's just a woman. Yeah
[00:44:11] You know these fucking feminist radical
[00:44:15] How does Randy Jackson continue to lose weight?
[00:44:17] He was a he lost the weight 10 years ago and every time you can like he looks at his yeah
[00:44:25] How rainy Jackson lost 114 pounds after losing
[00:44:30] 382 pounds he weigh a thousand pounds. I mean my man my man weigh 11 pounds
[00:44:38] So blue shoe calm what a company what a web site blue shoe calm certainly wouldn't need blue shoe calm to smash
[00:44:47] The picture I lean good. Yeah, I lean good
[00:44:49] If you love sex you're gonna love this damn website blue shoe calm
[00:44:55] And you can go there to find out if sex with a with a chewable tablet is right for you now
[00:45:01] You might be confused by that copy you're not having sex with the tablet
[00:45:05] You're having sex with a woman or man, but you're chewing down this so latif still Dennifil and Tillata fill
[00:45:13] Which are generic versions of Viagra and C. Alice
[00:45:17] What's included you talked to a hundred percent US licensed medical providers prescriptions are
[00:45:25] They give you a consultation for still Dennifil or Tillata fill
[00:45:29] Professional ED focus medical support no waiting rooms no appointments
[00:45:33] 30 or 45 milligrams of still Dennifil or six or nine of till
[00:45:38] Daula film we still can't say those damn words
[00:45:45] Listen guys. I gotta re-up the blue shoe. I gotta get I get it
[00:45:49] I'm gonna no I used to I felt like it had a positive effect on like my like
[00:45:54] Circulation really yeah in general huh? So I'm gonna talk about that in the copy
[00:46:00] Because it's you can't say that because it's a medicine so that's like for a specific thing I think
[00:46:06] In fact, I should probably not even say that
[00:46:08] Yeah, that's a claim that blue shoe does not say I only took that to this identity
[00:46:15] I took that to die like this the Alice one. Oh, which is the 36
[00:46:19] I ever if I ever when I took one time and it felt like I was having a look at an allergic reaction
[00:46:24] It like fucking because it makes like everything kind of swell. It felt like my nose was trying to get hard
[00:46:29] I get hot ears from blue shoes. Okay. Take the black of the I'm so afraid of having a heart attack if I take it
[00:46:40] Dude, I started taking uh do you have high blood pressure?
[00:46:43] Yeah, I have to fucking like really manage my shit, but I started taking that like a
[00:46:48] Cholesterol that's so cute 10 shit just daily. I don't know some fucking enzyme
[00:46:53] But like immediately it's like it's like on average like it's like a four or five, you know point drop really yeah
[00:47:00] Yeah, it really works. Huh? Yeah that in a combination with like I really like cut down coffee
[00:47:06] I only do like it's in the mornings couple of coffees in the morning
[00:47:09] Can you see that's my all day long I stopped vaping stop vaping and then like I mean obviously no more cocaine, but yeah, that's great
[00:47:19] Well, here's the deal guys you go to this website and you sign up for this damn thing you talk to a licensed medical professional
[00:47:27] And it doesn't have to be a pain. It doesn't have to be expensive
[00:47:32] It doesn't have to be embarrassing and it doesn't have to be inconvenient you have a ship directly to your door
[00:47:37] That means no visits and awkward conversations with the pharmacist
[00:47:41] It comes in discrete packaging which you can hide immediately the second
[00:47:45] Your your girlfriend wants to go check the mail you could push her back into the apartment and then run down to the mailbox
[00:47:52] And tell her that you were waiting on a gift for her, but in some ways it is a gift for her and it's a gift for you too
[00:47:58] So I don't know I don't really have the copy
[00:48:02] But you may have heard of this product on pardon the interruption or the love hour
[00:48:07] Podcast or come town podcasts what you're listening to right now. So go over
[00:48:12] Talk to a licensed medical professional come up with the plan that suits you the best
[00:48:17] I would suggest it's the 30 pills a month plan. Oh, yeah, brother and
[00:48:28] That's what is it? That's the pro deal and so for only a hundred and twenty dollars a month
[00:48:44] Sil dentifil chewable tablets which is more than the days of the month. So that's great
[00:48:50] So if you use our promo code is come town or come town 20
[00:48:54] What you get is you get your first month absolutely free you just pay for the shipping
[00:49:01] Tell them come town sent you and tell your girlfriend that come or boyfriend that come town sent you
[00:49:08] Gave you that rock hard confidence in the bedroom that you've been lacking your entire life
[00:49:14] Is that good your entire life? Yeah, that was good
[00:49:21] Just suck my dick and eat my ass so what do you think about this?
[00:49:32] Man it's controversial, but I think it's bad. Yeah
[00:49:43] I thought we were talking about against the feminists. Oh
[00:49:46] Oh, right fella didn't realize when bump my mic. Yeah, bump
[00:49:57] Anyway, all right cool. So that's a politics hour
[00:50:01] Let's go through and read some of these tweets. Oh, no way. How did that tweet come up?
[00:50:07] Cuz I sent it to Nick and Thomas that you made a good ass point
[00:50:10] I said look at this good has point our boy
[00:50:17] I was like oh cool, and then I realized I was being mercilessly mocked
[00:50:22] Were they no we just told them to retweet it all the responses. We just told them to retweet it. I thought it was so funny
[00:50:32] It was very funny. Yeah, the best tweet you ever did was the one with the pen and legislation
[00:50:39] Dude that's my 100 million percent fucking face
[00:51:07] Having a hard time daily trying to process what a vile piece of shit shake is from Love
[00:51:19] I am watching this other show with my girlfriend currently on Netflix called Byron Bays.
[00:51:26] And it's a show about it's like a it's like Hype House, but Australian.
[00:51:32] It's a show about influencers in America, but this one is Australian.
[00:51:41] Yeah, they like they like they like they like they're like, hey, I would say a keys like
[00:51:46] We know you both then, like I ran your I ran your account through all software and you
[00:51:58] No, they they all live in different places, but they yeah, they all go at each other.
[00:52:02] And it's just on top of all of that, like they don't have the I mean, even I think American
[00:52:09] influencers have some sort of process shame about like behind like using that as an identity
[00:52:16] I think they try to like say it in a different way, but these guys are Australian.
[00:52:26] So it's really it's it's very interesting.
[00:52:31] Yeah, they all live in this like what looks like the most stunningly beautiful place on
[00:52:38] And yeah, they're just like they're constantly accusing each other of being fake and stuff.
[00:52:44] So wait, do they endorse products or like what is their I guess there's a social media presence.
[00:52:50] Yeah, they do they do those I don't know.
[00:52:54] Yeah, they have like a draw they have hookups and drama and it's it's really it's it's it's
[00:53:04] great because it's like a culture that's consuming American culture and then regurgitating it
[00:53:10] in like like it went through like some sort of like AI software like there's something
[00:53:15] like alien about it like kind of off about it.
[00:53:19] And so yeah, it's just great like hearing them talk about like they follow us and how
[00:53:23] they mean everything to them followers.
[00:53:27] We're talking about I just heard the accent and I jumped in.
[00:53:38] It's the show about Australian influence coming up on Australian voice the voice Australia.
[00:53:44] Oh, my name's Clentum from from the Gold Coast and you know, yeah, I guess I'll go ahead
[00:54:01] Wow, wow, wow, wow, oh, oh, Roger, Crocky.
[00:54:08] That's very hard to do Australian Chinese.
[00:54:13] Yeah, even for us, which is, you know, that's what we hear normally Australian African.
[00:54:46] I would say it's you're just doing the regular American, you know, African guy and then saying,
[00:54:58] you know, crocky bimbo kangaroo, which bimbo, that part doesn't.
[00:55:12] Well, you think people are over there in Africa just sliding it up?
[00:55:17] I mean, we don't say it's not like bimbo is, you know, something we're saying.
[00:55:21] But like phonetically, it could be African.
[00:55:29] Adam is completely, he's fucking up the bit.
[00:55:34] It's not that fucking Africans would say bimbo.
[00:55:38] It's that you're doing African voice and say Australian stuff.
[00:55:42] So it doesn't make sense because bimbo is not Australian.
[00:55:46] Well, you threw me off when you said coconut, you know, because that's also an African.
[00:55:53] So I thought the bimbo aspect was you know, I thought the bimbo aspect is you bring
[00:56:02] Coconut banana is that that's just normal African guy stuff.
[00:56:11] I think I might go to Joe's Shanghai a little bit.
[00:56:19] What if I did a reverse Mel Gibson and I just spent the rest of my life pretending to be
[00:56:27] No, but then I could like just deny what if I did that?
[00:56:30] Now I'm Australian, but I guess I can't already blew my load because I'm already racist.
[00:56:36] I've already seen music, but if I had been like, what if I had been Ryan Seacrest?
[00:56:44] And then I'd start doing an Australian accent and I'm like, the fucking Holocaust is fake.
[00:56:51] That's my opinion as an Australian man.
[00:56:55] Where the fuck was Mel on all this shit, but prior to doing a racist impression of American
[00:57:00] music, I'm using the video where the solo guy like taking a cell phone camera video of
[00:57:21] Do you want to see an amazing photo bomb?
[00:57:44] I'm on the record as being a big fan of his.
[00:58:31] Oh, and his like leaves on came out to me.
[00:58:37] It was like, I just won't let you know Mel loves your jacket.
[00:59:00] Because his father-in-law is friends with Mel Giveson.
[00:59:12] I should have given him a little bit more.
[00:59:24] I can't remember the last time I saw him.
[00:59:32] Yeah, he made a bunch of money off halfway houses.
[00:59:35] Yeah, but I'm just having a ton of heat.
[00:59:38] He moved out there and started a business.
[00:59:40] Yeah, he owns a couple of halfway houses.
[00:59:46] If you do get sober and you go through the halfway house system, you then understand
[00:59:54] Yeah, and it's also you could have a business in a residential area because the Americans
[01:00:01] So you're like, and also it's not a rehab facility too.
[01:00:04] So you basically just drug test them and then you have a propter.
[01:00:12] They go out and they do volunteer work.
[01:00:14] They go on these like, you know, like, I guess.
[01:00:18] I lived in a, I worked in a halfway house and I lived in, it was called like a three-quarter
[01:00:26] So like, we didn't have living managers, but we all had like set times to be home and
[01:00:33] And like different roles in the house and weekly meetings and like, you know, certain
[01:00:46] These are very weird because it's like, it's, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's
[01:00:51] It's a, it's a very unique form of treatment, like a substance or behavioral treatment.
[01:00:57] It's like a step down, like reintroduction society house.
[01:01:02] And I think it's an, I think there should be tons of halfway houses for people coming
[01:01:06] out of jail, people coming out of rehab.
[01:01:09] It's just like we're just going to annoy you.
[01:01:12] If you're a parole or probation, it's like, probation sucks.
[01:01:14] You're just going to live your life and fear.
[01:01:18] So all probation and parole are is like, we're going to make you spend two to five years
[01:01:24] having extreme anxiety about bus schedules.
[01:01:39] Like dude, I saw guys, we guys that lived with us got out of jail, whatever, and like they
[01:01:41] got their lives together and the house gave them the structure that they, and also my
[01:01:46] house was like really good, so we had a lot of support from the other guys and everything.
[01:01:50] We called our house the diamond of the north.
[01:01:53] Because if you live in these houses in the city, there'd be a guy like shooting dope
[01:01:57] in the room next to you, smoking crack, and you're like, I don't feel so you did one
[01:02:08] And the house I lived in was directly across the street from the house.
[01:02:12] My mom threw me my 18th birthday surprise party at a bowling alley.
[01:02:18] Which is, oh, you're across the street from the bowling alley?
[01:02:21] So I had like an 18th birthday there with like all my friends, the whole future.
[01:02:25] I mean, they ended up in the Apple house across the street.
[01:02:33] But no, it was, it was, I guess there's a difference between halfway houses and sober
[01:02:39] I was in like, it was, well, they called it the three quarter house because it was between
[01:02:42] a halfway house and like a full sober living.
[01:02:48] No, Nick and I were watching videos of the guy from color me bad.
[01:02:55] Brian, everybody buy a little cameo to promote.
[01:03:03] They sold out, but we're adding Sunday shows.
[01:03:10] Yeah, but can't you record and then cut it in?
[01:03:18] Sunday, Sunday for Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, April 3rd, Austin, Texas.
[01:03:31] If both of those sell out, then we'll see about maybe doing like a like either late
[01:03:35] show Thursday, if that's possible or maybe late show Friday Saturday, I figured out.
[01:03:48] No, you could literally go up and talk and people would fucking love it.
[01:04:02] I think for is afterwards they get to like come out and repeat things to me from the show.
[01:04:13] And then I smile and there's nothing in my eyes and take a picture.
[01:04:20] And then you know, I wake up and I say, is it worth it?
[01:04:34] So yeah, come out and then is it not a gift to bring joy to others?
[01:04:40] I mean, it's like, you know, I definitely I'd prefer to be doing this and like still,
[01:04:48] Well, not even a never had like a fun hammer job.
[01:05:02] Next Friday, March 25th, I'm in Elmsford, New York, April 1st and 2nd, Vermont comedy
[01:05:13] Me and Jordan Jensen, going to be a lot of fun.
[01:05:29] You know, once respect the we respect her as a comedian, but not as a woman.
[01:05:40] April 1st and 2nd, Vermont comedy club.
[01:05:43] Come on out going to be a lot of fun and a soprano supreme of all two with me and Sam
[01:05:50] You guys should come and do black guys.
[01:06:03] Dark and dark and scared Twitter twitch.
[01:06:07] Oh, now someone to say thank you to everyone for being cool.
[01:06:15] Oh, because then they're going to start not being cute.
[01:06:22] I'm just looking at pictures of Rihanna pregnant and his face lost all expression.
[01:06:29] She she might be going to play the game.
[01:06:51] That song is about embracing your boys.
[01:06:55] I love that song because the song is about just being on some bullshit train.
[01:06:58] And the guy next to you is like, can I drink some of your alcohol?
[01:07:05] And it's all about no one to hold them.
[01:07:13] The fucking gambler just dies on the train sitting next to Kenny Rogers.
[01:07:18] But that's what he's doing is imparting his wisdom.
[01:07:23] His final breath is so Kenny Rogers could write a famous song about it.
[01:07:28] I'm trying to remember the exact lyric, but it's like.
[01:07:37] I thought it was going to be a poker song.
[01:07:43] I came over here and beat all of you in poker.
[01:07:55] I went in the where and took everyone's money.
[01:07:59] So every game of the nose is a secret to surviving.
[01:08:00] There's no one to throw away, no one to keep.
[01:08:02] Because every hand's a winner and every hand's a loser.
[01:08:04] And the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep.
[01:08:07] And when he finished speaking, he turned back toward the window, crushed out his cigarette
[01:08:12] And somewhere in the darkness, the gambler he broke even.
[01:08:15] But in his final words, I found an ace that I could keep.
[01:08:33] And somewhere in the darkness, the gambler he broke even.
[01:08:36] That's because he can't take it with you when you go.
[01:08:38] I would be down to play poker sometimes.
[01:08:44] The best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep.
[01:08:58] The best that you can hope for is to meet a guy in the park.
[01:09:12] He cigarette and fight it off to sleep.
[01:09:15] Can you imagine how worse that song would be if it was an Australian song?