Cum Town | Regular | 04/07/2022
[00:00:00] Welcome to come town. Welcome to come town. I want to preface the audience because I'm an honest
[00:00:05] broadcaster. I have a phone call that I will have to take at a certain point during this episode.
[00:00:09] Yeah. Yes, I'm a bug. Yes, I'm gay. I understand the person calling me as my boyfriend. We're in love.
[00:00:17] He's hot. And his dick is smaller than mine. Uncut. We stalk, of course.
[00:00:24] Oh, hold on. Sorry. You weren't. Can you can we hear you now? Will check? Yeah, check. We have
[00:00:30] wide dick willy on the show today. Hello. Filling in for Stavros, who is in transit currently. Yeah,
[00:00:36] he's on the back of a trailer. There's a there sending him in a cargo ship. Yeah, it says oversized
[00:00:41] load. That's very funny. Yeah, they got him and he's taking up two lanes of traffic. And there's
[00:00:47] another there's a next to that truck in the third lane blocking all all lanes of the highway is
[00:00:52] a is like a gas tanker that's filled with share a mist. Yeah, that's a hose and it goes from that
[00:00:59] in the star's mouth. Kind of to fuel him up. Kind of like how like a stealth bomber needs to be
[00:01:05] refueled in mid air or like fuels like a Air Force One mid air. You know, I was thinking about the
[00:01:10] other day that always enjoyed is like, you know, the movie free willy. No, I was just thinking the
[00:01:14] end of free willy or they have to take it in the back of a pickup truck and keep posing it down.
[00:01:18] We have to keep posing that with Sierra Miss. What I love. Yeah, well, I love it. The free willy
[00:01:23] is free willy a movie they use like one of this they use the trained orca. Yeah, they use one of
[00:01:27] the order of the slaves. Yeah, exactly. And then the movie this is the movie is about one of those
[00:01:33] animals being free. And then they use that animal and they shoot the movie and they're like, well,
[00:01:38] back to jail. I mean, I was like, it'd be like, I'd be like, fucking like at the end of Green
[00:01:44] Mile, they actually fucking put Michael Clark Duncan in the electric chair. It's like literally
[00:01:50] the same exact thing. Yeah. And like, you know, like a willy, the the the whale actor slash
[00:01:58] slave. I mean, like, you can see it because they have that thing with like their dorsal fin just
[00:02:01] sort of like, yeah, curls over on it. And they're like, like, oh, like that, that means that they're
[00:02:06] happy. Like, just look, yes, this happens to this happens to certain whales when they live in a
[00:02:11] swimming pool. Remember the controversy? People are mad that they didn't get an actual whale.
[00:02:16] They got comedian Amy Schumer to play free willy. What's her deal this week? She's like, listing all
[00:02:22] the jokes that they wouldn't tell her the Oscars. She's like, basically, I wanted to call Chris
[00:02:26] Rock to do his steps. And they said, well, you can't do that. Yeah. I hate this fucking anti-free
[00:02:33] speech censorship. Well, she got in trouble, I think, for insulting Kirsten Duns. Yeah, and Jesse
[00:02:41] Plummins, you know, set up bit that Kirsten Duns was in on. So I don't understand.
[00:02:46] Yeah, I have no idea. I don't get it. Yeah. I did. It's the same people that were like,
[00:02:50] yeah, the slap was fake. And they're like, this one, that was, that was real. The Kirsten Duns
[00:02:57] thing was real, but the slap was that was a setup. Jesse Plummins should have slapped her.
[00:03:02] Yeah. Should have attacked her on the side. Jesse Plummins and Amy Schumer in like a race to be the
[00:03:07] who can become more disgusting with each passing year. That's the I will, I will give it to the
[00:03:16] the WHORES on the Amy Schumer catches a lot of flack specifically, probably just for me.
[00:03:22] Yeah. Is that an actor? What is WHOR? Yes. It's my favorite radio. It's an actor union. Yeah.
[00:03:28] Yeah. You're listening to WHOR. But the, you know, I mean, do people take shots at Jesse Plummins?
[00:03:37] I mean, you feel like if he were a woman that did that to themselves, you know?
[00:03:43] I mean, I just think I think he's giving hope to all sort of like, don't be slovenly guys out there.
[00:03:50] Yeah, but you too can dig. Also, it's not like he's also like, he's like, he's like, like a guy
[00:03:55] that was like that regularly, but then just like took like COVID as like a full steam ahead, you
[00:04:01] know, like get like approval to just fucking really go. Yeah, he's fat Damon. I mean, he was
[00:04:08] fat Damon. Yeah. He was fat Damon. What does he know? Now he looks like the fucking like
[00:04:14] gay genie from the Aladdin Broadway. He looks, he looks unrecognizable. He's blue and has big
[00:04:22] ass titties. But some, a lot of people get fat, but he's like, some people get fat in a way where
[00:04:27] it's like their body's like, what the hell are we supposed to do with all this stuff? You know,
[00:04:31] they're fucking, it's just Jan's all like cheekbones. Your forehead gets bigger.
[00:04:36] Your forehead's big. Your body doesn't know it like stops been fat as well.
[00:04:40] Life. So when he gains 100 pounds, it's like this graceful orchestra, fat distribution.
[00:04:46] It's like, you know, everything is lucky. Everything has its place, you know, it's like evenly balanced.
[00:04:51] The guy like that overnight, they're like, yeah, why don't I gain like 500 pounds? And then, yeah,
[00:04:56] he's got like fucking his eyelids are like just hanging on the, he has fat eyelids now.
[00:05:01] He's got fat everything. Damn. I mean, I think it's honestly, I think we need to cut this
[00:05:06] conversation because it's like, normally we have staff here who's one of the fattest people in
[00:05:10] America. And now we have, you know, we have three guys with six packs talking about people's bodies.
[00:05:15] No. And it's just like, I feel like we kind of, you know, we can hide behind stuff very easily,
[00:05:21] you know, I get to look at it. Look at this man. Look at Jesse Plummus. I guarantee if you right now,
[00:05:26] you went and dug up Philip Seymour Hoffman's body and would look better than that.
[00:05:32] It would look like a better version of that. He's not that fat. No, I know. That's what I mean.
[00:05:37] It's just a normal guy. No, he's, he's like, I mean, real, he looks like AOC's boyfriend broke up with
[00:05:43] him. If he got dumped, if that guy got dumped, he would turn into Jesse Plummus. No, I think Jesse
[00:05:52] Plummus is kind of cute though. Listening to the body shaming hour. You know, you ate your
[00:05:56] whole body is bad. Um, I don't know. I can't, honestly, I love all bodies.
[00:06:05] Um, no, I think, uh, I think Jesse doesn't look that bad. I don't understand why you're going in on
[00:06:11] him so hard. No, you're just trying to, you think Jesse listens to the show and you're going to DM
[00:06:16] those listen to the show. You're going to DM him on ambien and be like, King, you're, I love you.
[00:06:20] I'm not in the hopes in the hopes that he's not going to put you in a banky band.
[00:06:26] Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. Listen, guys, you're afraid that I got a lot. I took a lot of
[00:06:33] heat this week. Cause last last week on the patreon, I said that I haven't, I, I thought that the
[00:06:39] second season of the gemstones fell off. A lot of people have been DMing me. Yeah. Fucking faggot.
[00:06:45] Like nothing, nothing you ever do. You riled up the, the gem, the gem squad. Yeah. I didn't know
[00:06:50] that gemstones fan, and listen, like I am in Hollywood too, me and Danny McBride are colleagues. Okay.
[00:06:58] We are members of the same elite club, you know, so I'm going out there and I'm taking a shot at,
[00:07:04] at a, at a friend, at a colleague. You are just someone that is, uh, that is threatening my life
[00:07:10] on, on the internet, you know, it's, there's a difference between us. That's all I'm saying,
[00:07:15] you know, I'm, I'm putting my neck out there and I would love to work with any of those guys.
[00:07:20] If they'd have me, I'd do anything. I'd craft services. We all know about your late boy.
[00:07:25] Late night celebrity DMs. Adam, what are you talking about? Oh, you know what I'm talking about.
[00:07:30] Listen, I'm friends with a lot of influencers, a lot of creatives. See, I, I, the only wheels
[00:07:35] I'm trying to agree with. You're the, you're the most famous comedian in America. The only wheels
[00:07:39] I'm trying to do is don't act like you're not. All right. All right. I've already got them what
[00:07:43] I want. I now have a press pass to the New York international auto show. Yeah. It's a
[00:07:48] buddying up to the regular car of these guy. And that's all I ever wanted. I used to go to the
[00:07:53] car show over here with my dad. Yeah. Did you have it center? Yeah. Well, you know, but the,
[00:07:56] the press days is when those are like, they got extra shit. Oh, they got, they got even cooler cars.
[00:08:00] I've applied numerous times and either like, we don't know what, what do you mean, come town?
[00:08:06] And they wouldn't love me. I was like, yes, me and my associates. It's like car talk,
[00:08:09] but we talk about come. Yeah. Let's say, when me and my associate, and it was at whatever dumb
[00:08:13] woman I was dating at the time, I'd be like, this is my assistant. And be like, no,
[00:08:19] you can't come. You can't come to the car show. I will be there on one of the public days. And
[00:08:22] then I hope for your sake, we do not cross paths while I'm collecting my free Subaru tote bags.
[00:08:29] But you've broken through. You're on the inside. I am on the inside. That's huge for you.
[00:08:33] No, I have to go get business casual clothes because I'm told I cannot show up wearing a Ferrari
[00:08:40] tracksuit. Yeah. Can I, can I style you for the show? No. Come on, bro. You can have your own life.
[00:08:47] No, we can have a shopping day. You can have your own life separate. No,
[00:08:51] I go out to so from my life, you can be you can shopping girls. You can take your your
[00:08:58] Vivaance fever dreams where you're DMing Charlie X C X trying to get to the Grammys. She's a friend
[00:09:05] and I'm going to I'm going to set my site something a little bit more reasonable. You're going to be
[00:09:09] in like a like a like a nice like a sharp attire going to see my being allowed to sit in the fire
[00:09:14] trucks. That's what that's that's where my sites are said. Yeah, that's true. But like honestly,
[00:09:20] that you present yourself in that way. But that's I know you and I know what's in your heart.
[00:09:25] And like desperately you want to be the bullshit. Here comes the bullshit.
[00:09:30] Nick's greatest dream. And I'll be honest. This is to be at the Academy Awards. And they say the
[00:09:36] nominees for best best actress Helen Mirren, Dame Judy Dench, Nick Mullen. Yeah. And Vanessa
[00:09:44] Rodriguez, Vanessa Redgrave, and they say your name. Yeah. And you go out on stage and you thank me.
[00:09:51] Well, you're after you. My dream is is to be in some kind of oceans 11 style caper in which we
[00:09:57] steal the train from the Bren Franklin Institute. That'll be pretty tight. That's my live stream.
[00:10:02] And it'll never happen. Because I could never put together a crew of a multi racial crew of
[00:10:08] smirking thieves. You have to just do the heist by building train tracks right up to the front door
[00:10:15] of the that's how they got it in there. That's how they got it. And they trained it in so cool.
[00:10:21] I didn't realize that. That's awesome. When you think about it, I tried to go to the Ben Franklin
[00:10:25] Institute as an adult because I have fond memories of it as a kid. I'm like, I bet that place is
[00:10:29] awesome. And I was in there for five minutes. I'm like, Oh, this is for babies. Have you been?
[00:10:34] No, was it in Philly? Yeah. Yeah, you would love it. As a child, you would have. Yeah.
[00:10:40] Now it's pretty stupid. You can touch everything in there. Like his like the thing he discovered
[00:10:45] electricity with. Yeah, it's not actually not a lot of Ben Franklin stuff. And a lot of those like,
[00:10:50] you know, like four Texas, we roll a quarter, stuff like that, a rumor you can go inside of it.
[00:10:55] So it's sort of like a science museum. It's a pretty science center. You got a sign in there.
[00:10:58] You touch one of those static electricity machines where your hair gets spiky.
[00:11:02] They have what you've been the heavy. Do you ever go to a children's museum? Yeah. Yeah. Liberty
[00:11:06] science center was the one is right across River in Jersey. That was like the fun where you could
[00:11:10] touch everything and you know, interact with all the all the learning. Those places were cool.
[00:11:15] They didn't work like, you know, they explained like pneumatic post systems so that you can sit
[00:11:19] on one side of the room and send a letter to you. Oh, I love pneumatic. I love pneumatic mail delivery.
[00:11:23] I want those in my house one day. Yeah. That they had a thing where this other thing that I don't
[00:11:28] know if he invented or not, but it's basically like a satellite dish on one side of the room
[00:11:34] and then the satellite dish or on the other side of the room. And there's like where the thing
[00:11:38] that concentrates the beam in the middle or whatever, you know how satellite works is it comes into
[00:11:43] the dish and then that projects it's like focused it back into like some kind of single point. Yeah,
[00:11:47] yeah, back in. So that's just like a cup that you speak into and like you're going like a whisper
[00:11:53] into it and it'll beam across the room. And if you put your ear to the other one, you can hear
[00:11:58] it. He used that to talk dirty to French widows. Well, you put your cock again.
[00:12:02] You get a stock. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did he go insane from syphilis or whatever?
[00:12:10] It probably all did like probably like a quarter of all adult men in that area had syphilis and
[00:12:14] then like, you know, there's no cure for it. So they're all act and whack. It just like worked
[00:12:17] its way into your brain eventually. Back back then, the whole world is basically like a nerd's
[00:12:22] dorm. Yeah. Theater kids. Getting STDs and not thinking they will because they never
[00:12:30] expected the fuck in the first one. On the upcoming Patreon episode, you could you could
[00:12:34] subscribe at patreon.com slash comtown Nick and I really go in on a specific group of nerds that
[00:12:40] probably didn't deserve it. Oh, yeah, we spent like, we just read tweets from these random four.
[00:12:45] I don't know. Sean McCarthy said it, but I guess there's some group of communist online. There's
[00:12:49] guys got a whole track record of like a year of like, how dare men ask for sex. Why are men?
[00:12:55] Yeah. Well, guys, yeah. And then I guess he tried to rape his roommate. So the weekend now he's in
[00:13:00] jail. And so we just, yeah, well, why don't men ask for sex? They should just take. Yeah, right.
[00:13:08] Back to the Ben Franklin Institute as a child. Let's go back and the first place I ever had,
[00:13:12] they got real lazy with candy in the late 90s. And I remember my favorite was just the spray. They
[00:13:18] had you could just spray mace your mouth with like sour. It was like a can. You could knock
[00:13:23] up. Yeah. What happened? Like, but the knock up like like the the the the the
[00:13:27] bro. That was a true brand. That was a movie. I was a movie trope. You know, actually,
[00:13:30] you're a guy going on a date or something. Just dumb and dumber. Yeah. Just dumb and dumber.
[00:13:35] It was just a number. It was just a number. He sprays it sideways. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:13:38] It's funny joke, but it was so funny that everybody. That is very funny. Yeah. And I think it's it's
[00:13:43] like one of those Baron stein bears. No, I think they were playing on that being a movie trope.
[00:13:49] Well, I mean, it's only movie I remember. But exactly. I guess I'm just not going to be able to
[00:13:53] cite another example. Maybe maybe fucking Carlton banks and fresh Prince of Bel Air that it wants
[00:13:59] your twice Carlton did it the entire series run. No, Carlton saying it was extremely good at dancing.
[00:14:05] They did it in Porky's the last American Virgin. Do you see people kid two and three? This is what
[00:14:12] I love to do. That was like this, this like all the culture war shit has devolved to being so
[00:14:16] apolitical now that like there's a conservative sharing clip of Will Smith on our Sanio Hall from
[00:14:22] 1991 making fun of somebody being bald. And they're like glass houses. Checkmate. Who gives a fuck?
[00:14:31] Where did you even get this poll? Yeah. It's conservatives that are trying to take will down.
[00:14:38] Yeah, I think so. Yeah. They've made it political. Everything now is like you had to pick one side
[00:14:43] or the other one because initially it was women that are being like he stood up for his man.
[00:14:48] He stood up for his woman. Yeah. And then it's also to like Chris Rock in this case represents
[00:14:52] comedians that have been canceled for raping women. Oh, right. So he was raping. For whatever reason.
[00:14:56] Yeah, because you should be able to do any joke you want. Can I just be team Will in peace? Yeah.
[00:15:02] I don't need people to be chiming in. I just support him no matter what. Yeah.
[00:15:07] I watched King Richard actually a couple days after the Oscars. It is hilarious.
[00:15:13] Yeah, it is so funny. Yeah. And then like he's doing this voice. I got it. I got to start
[00:15:18] talking about what he's moving in now that I'm back into doing stand up. You forget that that's
[00:15:22] the whole thing. I was I was talking about the Huggins like his the character that he chooses is
[00:15:28] he's just like um like a plantation slave. Like that's the voice. And then I like pulled up a
[00:15:34] YouTube clip of the real Richard Williams talking and he talks nothing like that. Okay. And I have
[00:15:40] no idea why he made that choice. And in some scenes it seems like he's kind of a little bit
[00:15:45] maybe mentally handicapped. And it's just it's awesome. It rocks. It's a great movie. King Richard
[00:15:50] would be a great title for a movie about someone who was mentally handicapped to raise you know
[00:15:55] two daughters to become world class athletes. But it says to me the point of that movie is sort of
[00:15:59] like did you see it? No, I did not see it. Great. It seems to me like I mean we can tell me
[00:16:03] everyone seems to me is like if you abuse your kids it's okay if they become world class athletes.
[00:16:10] He I mean I guess what he does maybe I don't think it's abuse. I think he's just a
[00:16:16] I think it paints him as a good dad on. So it's the movie Whiplash basically but what if the what
[00:16:21] if the Nazi character was a black fella? No Whiplash guy was meaner. Oh yeah. The JK Simmons guy was
[00:16:27] meaner. Richard was like you're special and you're gonna be the best in the war. I remember liking
[00:16:32] Whiplash then reading a review from some film critic. I can't remember who it was but they're like
[00:16:37] they like jazz for real. Oh god. And they're like no one would say that about buddy Rich and it's
[00:16:43] like get shut up. Okay. This is why people don't like jazz. Yeah. Yeah. The whole review had to deal
[00:16:51] with like oh the people they said were good at jazz or actually not my personal best choice. The
[00:16:57] deep cuts I would pick as somebody that's fucking obsessed with jazz music. That's so stupid. It was
[00:17:02] a fun I might rewatch Whiplash. Really? Yeah it's good. That's a good movie. Is it good? It's weird
[00:17:07] that kid didn't like you know you thought he would be a guy that the miles teller. Yeah but I guess
[00:17:13] it's because he's got that weird like his face. His face looks reconstructed. He has like a he
[00:17:18] has an interesting face. Yeah. He's got he's got he's in the new top gun. Yeah. I can't wait. Yeah.
[00:17:23] I'm definitely seeing that. He looks like a fucking safe. He flies the plane for real. He looks like a
[00:17:26] safe fell on his head at some point. I just watched rebuild the whole thing. I just watched Todd Phillips
[00:17:32] War Dogs for the first time. It's very good. Yeah. He's in it. It's it's it's a pretty it's an awesome
[00:17:37] movie actually. He's trying to buddy up the Todd Phillips. Well we have some late night DMs. Todd
[00:17:42] Todd's a friend. He's a friend. Yeah. Anyone involved in the project you know shout out to them.
[00:17:48] You know we're in Hollywood. What a what fuck what okay it's my phone call. You know what just
[00:17:56] turn the phone off dude. Okay. I'll let the audience in on what's happening right now. I'll let the
[00:18:02] audience in on what's happening because it's not that crazy. My father is coming to visit New York
[00:18:08] to visit me for the first time since my college graduation. I'm very excited. I think he just
[00:18:13] landed so I have to call him back. You're greeting that with silence. Sorry. Oh yeah. No. It's a
[00:18:21] it's an exciting thing for me. I'm excited to hang out and show him the city. What are you gonna do
[00:18:24] them? Let me ask you to take it a Broadway show. Let me ask you this top top of the World Trade
[00:18:28] Center. Let me ask you this. Can I have some of your territory? Yes. I'm gonna take him to the
[00:18:32] Queen's Museum Panorama where you see the model of the New York City. New York City that Robert
[00:18:38] Moses commissioned. He's gonna love that. He's he was an architect. My old man. I don't know.
[00:18:45] A couple other things. Go to dinner. Chill. You want to give him the power broker? Is he ever
[00:18:50] read it? My dad? No, he's not gonna read that shit. What do you like to come see? It's not about Israel.
[00:18:55] It is in a way. I guess he's Jewish. Yeah, it's a Jewish guy kicking brown people out of their
[00:18:59] homes. All right. I don't know how I'll be more. All right. Yeah. The cross Bronx
[00:19:04] is a cross Bronx Expressway instead of the wall. All right. You sold my soul. All right. I'm gonna
[00:19:10] go. I'm gonna call him back real quick. We can we can go in order just. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Book
[00:19:18] cruise right to feel free to eat on. All right. All right. You read power brother? No, I never
[00:19:24] wrote. Did you read out the LBJ books? No, I haven't read any of Carro. It just seems like two two
[00:19:29] intimidating, you know, to start. But I went to the LBJ Museum and presidential library when I was
[00:19:35] in Austin. I've never done that. Oh, that was really cool. It's really fun. Yeah.
[00:19:42] Yeah, I was gonna. You can listen to like all the phone calls where he's like, you know, like,
[00:19:46] getting horny for Catherine Graham and talking to the Hager Slacks company.
[00:19:50] Yeah. I need bigger slacks. Everyone can see my car.
[00:19:53] He's like, you know, there's one reason I'm talking about his bung hole to the CEO of Hager Slacks.
[00:19:58] He's like, got to get you some of them a bung hole. Yeah. That's a rotten up on my bung hole.
[00:20:03] I went to his hometown once, right? Drove through it when I was on the road at some point.
[00:20:07] And it's very funny because that's like, like the home of LBJ is fucking nothing. Yeah.
[00:20:13] Like a pizza restaurant and like nothing else, a gas station, maybe. I was very just like,
[00:20:18] I would just leave it off of there. It's not enough of a claim to save this town.
[00:20:24] Birthplace of LBJ. Yeah. When I was in Austin, I was very funny. I was returning the rental car
[00:20:29] and there was some like, like, you seem like almost like a sociopathic, like gay guy,
[00:20:39] like just dark sunglasses on very slick looking. Sort of an evil gay. Yeah, an evil gay. Like,
[00:20:45] like, yeah, like a seedy kind of like, you know, hitman or villain character. And he's like going
[00:20:52] back and he's seated. He's not at the desk. He's seated. And he's talking to the woman behind the
[00:20:56] desk as if they have some kind of like personal relationship. Like, this is a guy that's in trouble
[00:21:01] all the time that anytime he's in trouble with somebody, he's got like this kind of like guidance
[00:21:05] counselor report with them. Well, and they're like, yeah, they're saying it's $5,900. And he's like,
[00:21:13] but just for three weeks, though, that's crazy. And they're like, yeah, well, you know, they'd
[00:21:16] be called a repo guy to track you down and stuff. He's like, just stolen a rental car. And he's
[00:21:22] trying to negotiate after the fact. And he's like, but what would it have been if I had just
[00:21:26] rented it for three weeks? And she's like, $2,900 in insurance. And she's like, but you didn't,
[00:21:31] you ran it for two days and kept it for three weeks. And he's like, but they're showing it as
[00:21:35] returned, right? And she's like, yeah, she's like, so why is the repossession even involved?
[00:21:39] And she's like, you know, because I had to call Charlie and he had to come hunt you down or whatever.
[00:21:42] Who the Vietnamese? And he's like, well, I'll say this, Charlie was very weird guy, him and his wife,
[00:21:48] very weird guy. I mean, it's just like this guy here, this like extremely personal relationship
[00:21:53] with the lady with the whole process of stealing a rental car.
[00:21:58] And the fuck it, like being accused of it. It was very funny. I was not really a story that could
[00:22:03] go anywhere. I thought maybe we were the chuckleball Adam deals with this expensive phone calls.
[00:22:08] It's not expensive. And I apologize. It's a professional. This guy we live with his fancy phone calls.
[00:22:14] If we started the episode 40 minutes earlier, I wouldn't have had to interrupt it. No one's fault.
[00:22:18] It's not your fault. It's not my fault. He's got an old, he's got an old two horn on it with
[00:22:23] solid gold buttons. Well, my father says hello, Nick. And he's looking forward to meeting you.
[00:22:28] We're not meeting. Yes, you are. I'm being home reading Power Broker. No, you guys are going to
[00:22:31] hang out. We're all going to hang out. You guys guys, you guys all want to be like your dad come
[00:22:35] to do you want to see ambulance this weekend, the new Michael Bay movie? Oh, yeah, for sure.
[00:22:39] Actually, you know what I kind of want to do is, you know, go out maybe you, Nick, me,
[00:22:47] and just try to get pussy with my father. Yeah. Yeah. What day is this weekend? I'm going
[00:22:52] to the car show on the 13th. Yeah, you're going to feel like a like like a man for your dad.
[00:22:57] The 13th is next week. Yeah. Yeah. The 10th and 11th or the 9th and the 10th is this week.
[00:23:03] The 11th the 10th the 10th. You're pretty as a 10th. Yeah. I don't know why I always saw it
[00:23:08] as the 11th. Bad friend. What's your social security number again? I can't say. I can't say.
[00:23:16] What was I going to say? No, but I am very excited. Super Speciosa is the sponsor this week.
[00:23:23] Super Speciosa Super get super relief dot com. Yeah. It is Cratum. It is a disgusting powder
[00:23:29] that is from Southeast Asia from Southeast Asia. So it's basically this shit. It'll fuck you up,
[00:23:36] but in a way that's legal and can force to whatever the laws are regarding what I'm allowed
[00:23:41] to say about it and it'll make you feel good. It makes you feel good. It is not a, you know,
[00:23:47] a cure for anything or whatever. Will you ever done Cratum? Yeah. It's never smoked crack.
[00:23:54] Oh, yeah. I feel like you got did you get heavy in the crater or no? No, no, I never did. Like,
[00:23:58] I feel like you feel like it. Like, you know, like, I, you know, like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,
[00:24:03] I drank a glass of that, that garbage a couple times. And you know, nasty. You know, you know,
[00:24:07] maybe, maybe feel all right. But to me, like the, uh, no, no disrespect to the sponsor,
[00:24:12] but to me, the juice is never worth the squeeze because just like how gross, like swallowing it
[00:24:16] was wasn't really. That's why this place, they got capsules. Oh, okay. Cool. Yeah. There's a,
[00:24:20] there's a Thai restaurant in Brooklyn that does Cratum, like a non-alcoholic cocktails.
[00:24:26] Get superleaf.com, get the capsules. If you don't like the taste, it's the same thing. Yeah.
[00:24:32] You know, but yeah, Felix is, uh, doing seems to be heavy on that. I remember when he moved out
[00:24:36] to Amherst place and I moved into his room, he had like spilled crad in at some point.
[00:24:42] Yeah. I mean, it smelled like, it smelled like somebody died in a vitamin shot.
[00:24:48] And a Met Rex. Yeah. Yeah. No, like, uh, whenever, whenever he has his big gym bag,
[00:24:52] it's like he puts it down. There's always like sort of like a, like a cloud comes off.
[00:24:55] Yeah. I haven't seen his upper west side place. Is it tidier than the?
[00:24:59] Yeah. Yeah. It's the west side here. He's gotten his, our boys, our boys become a man. Absolutely.
[00:25:04] But somebody told me it's almost about going over when he finally moved out on his own.
[00:25:07] There was a knife sticking out. Oh, yeah. I heard about the green point.
[00:25:11] Yeah. A knife in wedged in between the. With the blade sticking up.
[00:25:15] It's like home alone or something. Some people were fucking trapped for some
[00:25:18] life. Yeah. Some people said they went over to watch MMA and he had a, he had a, a, a
[00:25:27] Mitchell never happened to get super leaf. No, it won't happen.
[00:25:30] They didn't have a plate coming out of the couch. Somebody DM me. They said, this shit better not
[00:25:33] suck. Mm hmm. And better not be bad because they're a drug addict who uses this stuff all the time.
[00:25:40] And they got it. And what they say, they said, it's actually very good. Pretty groovy.
[00:25:44] So according to an expert, I mean, I drank it for, they sent it to me for free. Mm hmm.
[00:25:47] Try out the product. I became hopelessly addicted to everything.
[00:25:50] Within days, I was drinking it from sun up that well, not sun up, but from about three
[00:25:57] point of where I wake up, three p.m. four till I go to sleep nine, 10 p.m. Yeah. And, uh, kind of
[00:26:04] like a, kind of like a white wine and a Benzo kind of mom awake, like three hours a day.
[00:26:10] Yeah. Except instead of children, I have a genital herpes and you're little boys.
[00:26:16] Yeah. Right. So that, you know, that I get just crippling addiction almost immediately.
[00:26:21] That's how good this stuff is, folks. Wow. Is that I was a personal hygiene out the window.
[00:26:28] Wow. You know, fucking wiping even Sayanara. Wow. See on the other side of Mount Fuji. I'm
[00:26:34] fucking filled with a shit in my ass and I'm high on craydon. You're pooping the bed. I was. I
[00:26:40] fucking ruined several sheets. There was shit stains everywhere. I had fallen into. You become
[00:26:45] one of those like my 600 pound life guys, just for like Indonesian dirt. It's what I like to call
[00:26:50] a reverse Michael Lindell situation. I started off as a racist millionaire and slowly fall backwards
[00:26:57] into a crack at it. Into a bad drug. I think that's a bad drug addict. And the only thing
[00:27:03] that's consistent is the mustache. That's it. Uh, but no, this shit is good. It's not actually a
[00:27:09] drug. It's not actually, I don't know if I'm allowed to say it's addictive or not. No, he was
[00:27:13] emotionally addicted, not a chemical addict. Look, I'll be, I'll be an addict no matter what. I mean,
[00:27:18] terror trips right now. They're fucking disgusting. Can I have some? I can't stop myself because you
[00:27:23] know what they say about chips. Once you pop the fund on top, you can't stay, you can never go back.
[00:27:28] Yeah. So, um, yeah. Anyway, guys, you go to get super leaf calm, use promo code,
[00:27:34] come town or come town 20 to get a million dollars. Yeah, they literally give you money.
[00:27:40] It will give you a million dollars if you go right now in fiat currency, fiat currency. It's all,
[00:27:45] it's all in a Venezuelan crypto, whatever the shit they invented. What was the deal? How did they
[00:27:51] fix inflation? They created a second currency that well, like right now or as well as like
[00:27:57] year or two, they had like a second fit will you're supposed to know that? I don't know. I don't know.
[00:28:00] I'm not quite a part of your smart. I don't know about money. Yeah. Instead of spend it.
[00:28:05] You're you're, um, how to spend it. I mean, I just don't like the way they deal with inflation is
[00:28:09] just causing other recession. Yeah. I think like that that would be I had read and I barely paid
[00:28:13] attention that they just in stores, they had like a second currency that reflected like the actual
[00:28:18] value of things or whatever, but that it was still then you'd like had to do the conversion.
[00:28:23] So people weren't doing they couldn't do the conversion on the fly. I don't know if that's
[00:28:28] sure or not. Yeah. I mean, like I, I would just think that like, like I said, like usually the way
[00:28:32] they do inflation is just, you know, like, yeah, just causing a recession. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:28:36] Because like, I mean, like, I think that like the inflation is like what they really hate is
[00:28:41] like a tight labor market. Yeah. And I think they're going to do anything possible to just,
[00:28:45] you know, get some slack into that again. Yeah. Get people get people back to work.
[00:28:48] Turkey's really fucked in the ass. Turkey. Well, I thought they're making peace with the Ukraine
[00:28:53] on Russia. Inflation was. Oh, but if they make peace, they'll probably get some money.
[00:28:57] I don't know. Fuck about Russia or Ukraine. You know, no, I don't care. I can either
[00:29:04] either either the Russians are genociding civilians or they aren't either way.
[00:29:10] Not my problem. It's the most basic things.
[00:29:14] Who cares about Eastern Europeans genociding each other? All of the problems in the last 100
[00:29:20] years, the big ones have all been caused by caring a little bit too much about what Eastern
[00:29:25] Europeans are doing to each other. The enemy I don't know about.
[00:29:28] Cousin is also my cousin. Exactly. They first of all, they love they love being
[00:29:32] there. There was a there was a German people say like people don't like dog fighting.
[00:29:36] Are you kidding me? In the last 100 years, there were some Germans that caused a little bit of
[00:29:42] problems to getting mad at Hitler. Is I getting Michael Vick? All right. And it's cultural.
[00:29:49] Yes. Cultural. I'm not going to say what he did was right or the right thing to do
[00:29:53] were the good a good thing. But if you think about it, something along those lines.
[00:30:00] Yeah, he's a hell of a quarterback. Just think about it.
[00:30:02] Hell of a he's got he's got wheels and he's got a gun. I don't remember the story.
[00:30:10] But at the end of the day, I remember people thinking we went a little too hard on Michael
[00:30:14] Vick. Yeah. And that's what that's what they're saying about.
[00:30:17] I can only say this. Thank God Michael Vick didn't kill himself in a bunker.
[00:30:21] I think not or whatever happened. Thank God. He kept living. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:30:26] Yeah, he's an analyst now. He paid his debt to society and he kept living.
[00:30:32] And he's married to a pit bull now. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. That would be a cool move.
[00:30:38] He got married to a dog. If he got if he was like publicly
[00:30:41] fucking and kissing with the pit bull. He was his wife.
[00:30:45] We love each other. He's like, can you believe I used to bet money on whether my wife would
[00:30:55] kill another dog or not? Now she is now. We you know, we stay up and watch Netflix together.
[00:31:00] Right. He had to do a bunch of sensitivity training towards pit bulls that just went too far.
[00:31:05] No, he's morning. No, yeah. No, he's in love with pit bulls.
[00:31:10] Honestly, that would be that would be the smartest.
[00:31:12] Has let me ask you this, has Mr. Worldwide pit bull himself ever chimed in on the Michael
[00:31:17] Vick controversy? No, he feels like if anyone could speak on it. His silence is deafening.
[00:31:24] That guy is so successful. Dude, I love him. He's might be the perfect celebrity.
[00:31:30] People call it politics. I call it politics. Did he say that? Yeah. No, there's there's a
[00:31:34] compilation of him in like 15 different interviews saying that exact phrase. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:31:40] Yeah. He always reminded me of like the slickest guys I worked with at any sales jobs. They
[00:31:44] weren't ever necessarily the best salesman, but just like they just would talk to every
[00:31:49] perspective customers if they were trying to like just fuck them all night long.
[00:31:55] Guys, I got chiseled work. Yeah. Just like the full court press.
[00:31:59] Oh, the full court press. You already got a cell phone. You might have to take a look at a real
[00:32:03] court. Yes. Nice phone. That's a good phone you got, but maybe we can get you some little
[00:32:08] some better. Like no, thanks. I'm all right with my current plan. I get on the limited
[00:32:12] texting. All right. You have a nice day. Beautiful. You got a boy. It's like a 45 year old man.
[00:32:17] Oh, okay. Thanks, man. That's so fun. I had one of those guys. I went to get dinner at Applebee's
[00:32:23] the other night. You try to fuck you? I mean, he was like, he was, I mean, yeah, I mean,
[00:32:27] I could have he did have plastic gloves on because of the COVID shit, but he might as well.
[00:32:31] He was acting like a like a vampire's butler like that. I mean, I'm like, he's just sort of like
[00:32:40] like, I'm seeing we as some kind of like, you know, I'll be like, yeah, can I get the fucking
[00:32:46] that appetizer sampler? Yeah, the the the the the southwestern quesadilla.
[00:32:55] Can I recommend to soda to hear this? Excellent choice. Yeah. Now the Baja, the Baja mr.
[00:33:01] is a Applebee's exclusive. Did you know that Mountain Dew has exclusive flavors?
[00:33:04] They used to with with Cobel. Yeah, Cobel. Yeah. Because I think it,
[00:33:09] Taco Bell's owned by PepsiCo. Imagine being one of the guys, you used to be able to just,
[00:33:15] if you were a big fat guy, you could be a guy like, I'm going to Applebee's try out the new
[00:33:18] Mountain Dew flavor that's exclusive to Applebee's. And now you have to be like a fucking night
[00:33:22] you have to have a hammer and sickle in your username and rape your roommates. This basically
[00:33:26] you have to do the last episode. The one that's coming out on Sunday is like real like real
[00:33:33] like intellectual threads that really just unravel and then weave back into themselves and like,
[00:33:39] yeah, well, basically, potentially us losing our minds. It's a lot of those people are produced by,
[00:33:44] you know, quote unquote, late capitalism or whatever. That's how they turn into these communists.
[00:33:48] And it's like, that's not really a place for them in society either, obviously, or they wouldn't
[00:33:52] be end up in jail for rape. And there was that's a universal thing. And I'll tell you, if there was,
[00:33:57] there was an answer and it was fucking fast casual restaurants, fast casual restaurants and
[00:34:02] Star Trek and Benagan's Star Trek. You go to the Star Trek convention. What a happy, I saw
[00:34:07] in a 24 hour McDonald's, a group of guys that had just come from fucking Odecon.
[00:34:13] Beaming. And they were at McDonald's at 2 a.m. It was the happiest day of those guys. That's
[00:34:18] community. Yeah. Yeah. And they're surrounded by homeless people that also have their place in
[00:34:23] McDonald's, 2 a.m. And that was sort of like, you know, it was right before the recession.
[00:34:28] Everything fell apart after that. We had to figure that. Were they in costume?
[00:34:32] Uh, I mean, those guys are always kind of in costume. What's Odecon like an anime thing?
[00:34:37] Oh, yeah. Basically, our point was that you just can't be a regular nerd anymore. You can't. You
[00:34:43] have to have to be like, have been sucked into online politics. The problem with that is like,
[00:34:48] it's still like a fantasy type of escape. But it's one that's like sort of grounded in reality.
[00:34:53] Like they think there is going to be some revolution. Whereas it used to be like,
[00:34:57] you know, there's no chance you're going to meet Commander Riker. It's not going to happen.
[00:35:01] So it doesn't like fuck with your sense of like, you can fully. Yeah, like, like, you can like,
[00:35:06] you're not, you're not grasping for something that's like, you feel is like,
[00:35:09] like perpetually unfulfilled or drudgeon. Same. There is no possibility. The gap between like,
[00:35:13] your fantasy and the reality that you expect to be fulfilled. There was some experiment.
[00:35:18] I can't remember who did it, but I guess that they put chimpanzees in cages. And in another room,
[00:35:23] they had chimpanzees with their fauci. They were cages, but then they gave them cradam.
[00:35:28] Yeah. The cage had some kind of like chasm. There was like some big gap. And on the other
[00:35:34] side was freedom. And then the chimpanzees that had a glimpse at freedom or a way that they
[00:35:39] couldn't get past the chasm, obviously. Those are the ones that went insane and sort of smashed
[00:35:43] their heads against the ground or the wall and killed themselves. And then they were adopted by
[00:35:48] middle-aged suburban ladies. Well, that's how they made the vaccines.
[00:35:55] That's how fauci did it is by what's the experiment? Did he like put Beagle's heads
[00:36:00] and Ziploc bags? MRNA stands for a monkey-rape nucleic acid.
[00:36:05] Wow. Yeah, no, he was like fucking like dancing. Bullshit.
[00:36:12] We're going to try and create a real-life wishbone with Jack Russell Terry that could read.
[00:36:16] So we're going to just back over it with a Toyota Torsell 35 times and see if that does it.
[00:36:22] It's crazy because you can get grant money for some dumb bullshit. Yeah, that's true.
[00:36:26] Yeah. It was not a whole Matthew Lascos whole thing. Yeah, free money to government.
[00:36:30] But was that for research? I think it was just bullshit grants.
[00:36:34] Just saying that you do a research project? Yeah. A research project and wearing a cool suit.
[00:36:39] Yeah. He's like, what if I want to get a lot of these
[00:36:43] we'd wear a question marks for free. My ass is getting paid. He did talk like that.
[00:36:47] Yeah, he said that. I thought it was inappropriate, honestly.
[00:36:53] And then people were like, who is this guy? This guy's just trying to live off the government,
[00:36:56] right? Yeah. Well-fair came. Remember that guy Bernard Goldberg? Yes. He had like the book of
[00:37:02] like the 100 greatest pinheads screwing up America. And one of them was Matthew Lascos because it was
[00:37:07] like he was like the encouraging people to just steal money from the government and live off grants
[00:37:13] to electrocute Golden Retrievers or something like that. Yeah. But it's not stealing money from
[00:37:17] the government. It's taking money back that the government shouldn't have taken in the first place.
[00:37:22] That's right, dude. No, I mean, if you end up, if there's some department that has like this
[00:37:27] budget surplus of like millions of dollars to give out to people to dress like the Riddler,
[00:37:34] that should not have been taken in tax. Yeah, I'd rather go to that guy than McKinsey.
[00:37:39] Nick, did you see the new Batman speaking the Riddler? No, I didn't see it. I got to start
[00:37:42] wise. I'm saying, I got to do stand up again. What do you think it sounds? I hated it. I thought
[00:37:47] I thought it was pretty goth. I don't know how I could ever enjoy it. Like I've I have seen enough
[00:37:53] Batman. Yeah, no, exactly. It's just like we have we already have every iteration of Batman
[00:37:58] that you possibly need. Right. No, just accept it. This is even after I was honestly surprised that
[00:38:04] Christopher Nolan was able to do anything with it after Tim Burton. It's like,
[00:38:08] all right, well, he gave it to some freak and he made this shit. And it's like, you know, for
[00:38:14] especially at the time and place at Nolan was like, what if Batman was for grownups? Yeah, you
[00:38:19] know, make like a well, I mean, compared to this new movie, the Nolan movies look like
[00:38:22] John T. and goofy. Oh, yeah, they look like a little bit like a rock and good time. This is very
[00:38:29] gray and serious. Yeah, they should do Batman in, you know, like in the theater in was it
[00:38:36] Maripole or whatever. And they just like trying to save like women and children from being killed by
[00:38:42] Russians. And then we find out later that actually that it was it was a sort of a false flag by Zolensky.
[00:38:50] One the new one, there's like an AOC stand in and in like 4chan in planet terrorist attack.
[00:38:59] And yeah, like, and like there's a scene where they're talking about the Riddler and he's like,
[00:39:02] you know, plotting a terrorist attack on his like discord server or whatever. And they're like,
[00:39:06] they're like, he has 500 followers. And I'm like, I'm going to love you. And he's like getting
[00:39:11] like likes. Yeah, he's posting vlogs and getting likes. And people are like, go off, like use a bump
[00:39:17] stock. So it's really, really fucking tells us a lot about how fucking society is. Yeah,
[00:39:24] well, that's what I mean is they create this like skits like Batman is supposed to be an escape.
[00:39:28] And now the nerds that like it, they have to go there and be reminded of social media and all
[00:39:32] of these things and like actual politics or whatever. No, put Batman on the moon. He's speaking a fake
[00:39:39] version of Chinese, you know, James Cameron should do Batman. Yeah, that's it. That's the only guy
[00:39:45] that should be given Batman any kind of fantasy stuff. He's about to drop Avatar to I would love,
[00:39:50] I can't wait. And also like 15 years ago. Yeah, he's like, he's like, he's living in like a city
[00:39:55] he created in New Zealand. And I'm actually, I was saying like, let's say like, you know,
[00:40:00] a Russian American is just a fuck it. We're doing a full nuclear exchange. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:40:04] You know, like it's, you know, it's worth ending all human civilizations that like Ukraine could
[00:40:09] be free or whatever. Yeah. I truly think that like the the the the the nucleus of humanity that would
[00:40:15] emerge from like a nuclear holocaust would just be the people currently making Avatar in New Zealand.
[00:40:20] Right. Yeah. And like James Cameron will become like the god emperor of the New World. And I got
[00:40:24] to say that would be cool. That's a perfect outcome. You'd be starting to start you'd be
[00:40:28] restarting humanity with a much cooler origin. Yeah, then whatever like proto indo bullshit we
[00:40:35] have now, everything born out of like, what is it? Ziraszism or like the turtle that's the world?
[00:40:41] I don't know. I imagine if it were instead that Avatar is real. I think God made the world in
[00:40:48] seven days cave paintings where people wearing fucking 3d iMacs. Pretty sick. Yeah. I would love
[00:40:54] that. And you know, James Cameron, like he's just about he's he's the American Napoleon, you know,
[00:40:59] like he's the only like man, like sort of the vision and competence to execute a large scale
[00:41:04] project. Imagine if you went to see imagine if you went to see Avatar two and the plot is like,
[00:41:11] oh, the space Republicans want to make it that they blew the gay avatars can't say gay in school,
[00:41:18] you know, they can't put a gun in my mouth right now. Yeah, I want it to be the most childish
[00:41:24] commentary on on human interaction possible. Yeah, I want people's like,
[00:41:28] yes, but it looks like, you know, like fucking the cover of a yes album. It's broad. Yeah, right.
[00:41:36] It's I want to be stupid. Yeah, but it's like fucking it's fucking Frank Frisetta. You know,
[00:41:42] yeah, yeah, James Cameron, I'm saying this from Wikipedia folks. I'm not I'm not a smart man,
[00:41:48] but he said that he views filmmaking as war and himself as a general. It's he's correct. Sounds
[00:41:55] badass. He's correct. That's a badass, which is it? Okay, that's not even stolen valor because he
[00:41:59] is he's so removed from whatever he pointed he thinks he's making that he's not even steel.
[00:42:04] What does that mean? That I see filmmaking is war and myself as no, like, like, I think in what
[00:42:11] any of time world does war plenty of times like no, there have been like revolts in the crew.
[00:42:16] Yeah, because like he's like been crazy. And he's like, yeah, he's like Napoleon. I see I see
[00:42:23] filmmaking as a cake and myself as the baker. I see making a film as a dog fight and all my
[00:42:33] actors as dogs and myself as Michael Vicki as the man who who owns the dog. You know, the analogy
[00:42:44] I've always compared filmmaking to is it's a film is sort of like a vehicle and I'm the carmaker.
[00:42:50] Mm hmm. But also driving it. They all show the drive. Any anytime you say that kind of thing
[00:42:55] on like unflinching, like it is badass, even if it's stupid. I'm hype for Avatar too. I only saw
[00:43:04] Avatar in the last like year or so because I didn't I didn't see it. I think I've said this on the
[00:43:10] show before, but I didn't see it because I knew I was about to break up with the girl and I didn't
[00:43:14] want to pay for two iMacs 3D tickets. I was too cheap and I missed and then all my friends had seen
[00:43:20] Avatar at that point. And so I like I missed the boat on Avatar. There was a lot of shit that bothered
[00:43:24] me when I saw it because you know I was young and stupid, but stuff now that I really appreciate.
[00:43:29] Like when they have a mech fight with a robot and the mech has a combat knife. Yeah.
[00:43:34] Yeah. Well, I mean like what happens when the mech runs out of bullets? It's gotta keep fighting.
[00:43:38] Yeah. It has a knife for some reason. Yeah. It's distinct from the rent. It doesn't just come out
[00:43:44] of like the arm. No, it's like it's achieved. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a knife. Yeah. Yeah. Stuff like
[00:43:49] that that I'm like that doesn't make any fucking sense. But now that I'm old, I'm like the less
[00:43:53] sense it makes the more I want to lean into this because that's what fucking entertainment should be
[00:44:00] because they took all the regular fantasy shit away from us. Yeah. What else were we saying?
[00:44:06] I forget. They should do Wally three where the people are what even fatter. Yeah.
[00:44:14] Where the spaceship is sinking. So they make Wally two.
[00:44:19] It's somehow sinking in space. Even though there's no gravity. It becomes so fat that you've
[00:44:23] clack hole. You've created gravity in space. Yeah, they're a planet. No. The universe was like
[00:44:29] this. Okay, we got to create a new essential force in the universe to keep these people in check.
[00:44:35] That was a classic yo mama so fat thing that she has her own gravitational pull. Yeah.
[00:44:41] That was like a people doing the dozens like the smart kid school. Yeah. Yeah. Your mom has
[00:44:47] some trip at all fours. Yeah. Technically doesn't everybody. Your mom pulls light into the center
[00:44:53] gravity and obliterates all atoms. Yeah. I used to be a young Neil deGrasse Tyson.
[00:45:00] I used to think the one where it's your mom, your mom is teeth are so yellow every time she closes
[00:45:04] her mouth or her stomach lights up. I used to think that was funny. Yeah, but it didn't make
[00:45:08] any sense. I thought I was gonna see so yellow whenever she smiles cars slow down. Oh, that's pretty
[00:45:12] funny. Yeah. Like a car light. I guess that's cool. So what else what's going on in
[00:45:22] politics? Oh, more good stuff. Actually, I mean, the new story that I was paying attention today
[00:45:33] is that the state of Tennessee just passed a bill that would like add a new like a new tier
[00:45:42] for marriage like a new tier of like a marriage license that like for straight people. But like
[00:45:47] so it's like it's like you can get a different marriage license for straight people only.
[00:45:51] But also they have done away with any age limit on like who you can marry. So if you're straight
[00:45:57] because they're you got a special license, you can marry a 13 year old and like that's
[00:46:00] that's actually like everyone's worried about grooming now. They introduced the bill as his
[00:46:05] wife is like 12. Yeah, you know, he met her in high school when she was in high school. She was
[00:46:08] an high school. She was a fellow like she like he's like selling Girl Scout cookies and just 47
[00:46:14] years old. Well, you know, like, you're sort of like, you know, like the culture war and how like
[00:46:18] this you could just just say and do anything now. And it just seems to me like like the line is
[00:46:22] now is that like, you know, everyone everyone's a groomer. Everyone's grooming kids. Right. And
[00:46:26] we got to stop them. Yeah. And how do you protect kids from being groomed? Marry them. Yeah. You
[00:46:31] know, like that. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. It's like it's so everything so convoluted that there's no
[00:46:36] way there's no rational in on like either side to be like, okay, well, this is groom. No, that makes
[00:46:42] sense. But then also the people like that's such an easy gimme. Yeah, is to say like, okay, well,
[00:46:47] these people actually are pedophiles. But like, you know, like with this guy, I guess his wife was
[00:46:54] like 18 or 19. And then you could just say it's weird and make fun of him. And it's like he probably
[00:46:59] would be a pedophile. But then people want to have like an earnest problem with like, well, 19
[00:47:04] year old woman, you know, there's a power dynamic there. It's like, so then what then what are you
[00:47:08] asking for? Do you want to raise the age of consent? Because if that's the case, then it's like,
[00:47:13] then you need to make that argument and get into this like weird territory of, you know, I'd like,
[00:47:19] like just advancing like a gray area into like early 20s for certain people. What it is at some
[00:47:25] point, you have to just say it's okay for a fucking 45 year old to marry it. But 22 year old, isn't it?
[00:47:30] Half your age plus seven, isn't that the rule? Is that the rule? I don't think it's a law. But
[00:47:35] I thought that was about cheating. I think that was about getting pussy from a younger woman.
[00:47:42] Yeah, but it is true that the way you stop grooming is by making them get married. Because like,
[00:47:47] um, if you watch the Michael Jackson documentary, what he did was he would just have a relationship
[00:47:53] with one of the boys. And it was all lies. He never did any of this. Sure. And then he'd find a new
[00:47:58] little boy and then like do all the same fun stuff with the new little boy. And the last little boy
[00:48:03] would have his heart broken. Yeah, the thing is, I like, if you want to stop like, you know, like,
[00:48:08] like groomers and people from like, um, sexually abusing children, just make them get married.
[00:48:12] Because you know, we all know once you get married, the sex goes pretty quickly. That's true. Yeah,
[00:48:16] that's true. You get bored with it. You know, it sounds like my wife. Yeah. That probably is
[00:48:20] the thinking. Mm hmm. But Michael Jackson. Yes. I don't like, I mean, I do think he fucked the kids,
[00:48:29] but I don't think it's like that falls in those day umbrella of strictly like pedophilia.
[00:48:34] Because he was such a weird, freak fucked up thing anyways. Yeah. You know, that it's like,
[00:48:39] it's almost like something that would be aesthetically considered pedophilia is an unrelated component
[00:48:48] of what, you know, it's in the same way that like, and this is, this is really going to
[00:48:53] be a departure, but like, you wouldn't use color to describe a flavor. You know what I mean? Yeah.
[00:48:59] You can have pasta sauce and you can have fucking, so he was like a, like, cranberry sauce and cranberry
[00:49:05] sauce look very similar, you know, in the same way that Michael Jackson having sex with children
[00:49:11] and fucking, you know, Jeffrey Epstein doing it, both, like similar in that they're the same color,
[00:49:17] same, but the substance and the flavor and what they're actually doing very much different.
[00:49:23] So Michael Jackson, no, that's not what happened. Adam, what is your, what is your brief of the
[00:49:28] defense of Michael Jackson here? What's the evidence you're mounting? I don't want to listen,
[00:49:32] I'm going to get a lot of pushback online for the gemstones fans, but everyone knows that Joe
[00:49:39] Jackson chemically castrated him at a level. I mean, I've heard that. That's why his voice sounded
[00:49:44] like that. And so he was therefore incapable of engaging in sexual, sexual, sexual, and this is
[00:49:50] a documented fact in Italy in the in the 1700s, the Castratos were, they were basically fucking
[00:49:57] Selena Gomez. They were the hottest guy in the world. They were literally they were fucking sex
[00:50:02] symbols and they would they would be fucked by men and also have girlfriends that would like,
[00:50:07] you know, kind of like play on their, their little undeveloped penis like an Oscar Meyer
[00:50:12] wiggle. But like, I mean, you can still achieve an erection if you have been, you know, neutered
[00:50:17] castrated. Well, no, they have children's genitals. Okay.
[00:50:21] I don't know. The weird thing too is like, because your test ostrone is what actually
[00:50:24] makes me well, I didn't know that will you're one of you're the smartest guy I know.
[00:50:27] But actually, I was what makes your fucking one is that the endothelial joint like things seal.
[00:50:34] Damn, you guys are being so smart right now. That's probably not the right word at all. I don't
[00:50:37] even know. But we have a lot of doctors. It's it's it's your your nuts dropping that stops
[00:50:44] starts the process of you not going up in height. So you're fucking, if you castrate somebody,
[00:50:51] they end up very like tall and lanky because the regulatory systems to stop like, you know, puberty
[00:50:57] growth aren't like they're broke essentially. Man, I wish my balls dropped later. So I could
[00:51:02] be over six feet. My balls dropped at like 17. So but it didn't make me tall. Yeah,
[00:51:08] Kubo, that's because you're high estrogen. Yeah, you're probably using a lot of
[00:51:13] scant traces of testosterone. Yeah, I guess technically the penis is there. But yeah,
[00:51:19] that's all. And you were going to have testosterone supplements. Are they are they advertising on
[00:51:23] the podcast? I mean, I guess we get some big pills. Would that make me like chimped out?
[00:51:27] We're not making me like pissed off. I'm not like, I make you make you more of a man. I would
[00:51:32] I would finally confidence. I would finally stand up to Nick and stop. I'm not a bug. The whole
[00:51:38] dynamic of the show changes. The whole time is Adam's taking on eating supplements. Yeah,
[00:51:43] we got to get on with your broken and then we can pick up some of those. Yeah, yeah. I would love
[00:51:48] to go on. You were just in all of you. You were just in all of you. You just start doing testosterone
[00:51:52] and HGH. And then just like, just come back like this. Like like when you record, you walk through
[00:51:56] the wall like the cool aid man and then just start fucking dominating. I got to start getting
[00:52:00] more pissed. I got to start getting more pissed. Just just meekly suffering their abuse. But
[00:52:06] definitely, you know, and then I thought that if you get testosterone, I'm getting my arms cut
[00:52:09] off and replaced with weapons and things like Jack's arms. Jack's gambling gun. I was seeing
[00:52:14] I was seeing Axel from Twisted Metal. Yes, just two huge wheels. Just the guy that's wheels.
[00:52:20] The black guys would turn it into a literal axle.
[00:52:27] I mean, that was the best guy in Twisted Metal. Did you fuck with it? Yeah, I was only
[00:52:32] the one. I was just funny. It was a crazy clown. Mr. Grimm. Who's at the clown? The motorcycle
[00:52:38] guy with the skull. That guy was best. Ghost rider. Ghost rider. Yeah, I thought Mr. Grimm's
[00:52:42] specter I fucked with. I confused it a lot with a vigilante eight.
[00:52:47] Was that Twisted Metal? Yeah, it was Twisted Metal not a lot.
[00:52:50] Oh, I was actually about to say that. A street fighter too. Who is your go-to character?
[00:52:55] Never street fighter. In fact, the fighting games. The only fighting game I ever got
[00:53:02] even remotely good at was Killer Instinct. Is that the one where you're like dinosaurs?
[00:53:06] No, that is Tekken. Tekken. Yeah, Tekken has dinosaurs. There's one game that was like,
[00:53:13] where it was just two dinosaurs fighting each other. I don't remember that. I think I know what
[00:53:17] you're talking about, but I don't know. Killer Instinct was a... I don't know if there was a
[00:53:24] dinosaur. I think there might have been a raptor in Killer Instinct, actually. I've never heard
[00:53:28] of that game. Killer Instinct? No. I mean, yeah, I was just like, a chief fighter too,
[00:53:32] it was just like, that was the game like all my friends had. Everyone played it. I was never good at
[00:53:35] it, but I always played Gail because I thought he was cool. But I mean, he sucks. Yeah, well,
[00:53:41] we would play it due to Sonya blades against each other, pause it and then... You think it'll
[00:53:46] be a little combat. But you were trying to pause it so you could see like a split-in kid or something?
[00:53:52] You know, be able to sleep over and jack off into a fucking Gatorade bottle and, you know,
[00:53:58] and share it, then share it, then pass it around. Go to Bar Mitzvah class the next day. You know,
[00:54:03] you know how we do. Will, you're the best guest. Yeah, I'm trying to find a picture of Orchid
[00:54:10] from Killer Instinct in the game because they... Well, a flowery guy? No, they really drew her titties.
[00:54:16] They really made it put an effort into her titties. Original. She was the Sonya blade of that game.
[00:54:22] Wait, did they have a bitch in Street Fighter? I mean... Yeah, Chunley. Chunley. Oh my god.
[00:54:28] And Cammy too, yeah. She had ass. Chunley. Cammy, Chunley, and then there was the other one.
[00:54:32] The Chunley had a strong leg. She had a very, very strong leg. A big butt. Yeah, I love her.
[00:54:38] Yeah, smaller Chinese. What was her name? Smaller Chinese? There was another Chinese in Street Fighter.
[00:54:44] I don't know. Maybe she was Japanese. Street Fighter Girls. And okay. Cammy was like female
[00:54:55] guy while she was like a military-style woman. And he had very strong legs.
[00:54:59] Guy who was the Johnny Cage. Guy was, yeah, he was like the American commando guy.
[00:55:05] He had like a big flat top. They're basically the same thing. Yeah, I love how they make
[00:55:10] him. He was making Guy's hair more and more like every iteration of like those characters would
[00:55:14] just be like describe the character to another guy without showing it to him. And they're like,
[00:55:18] you draw it. And then we get more extreme. Like Guy's hair. You ever seen a Street Fighter
[00:55:27] animated movie? No, I don't think so. Really? I mean, I've only seen the Jean-Claude
[00:55:33] of that damn Raul Julia, you know, masterpiece. Yeah. That was the last movie he did, right? Raul Julia.
[00:55:40] Crazy. He had a good run. Well, folks, oh damn, we're only at 55 minutes, I guess so. So
[00:55:47] Raul Julia, dead famously. Yeah. Kiss of the Spider Woman, right?
[00:55:54] Adams family. Adams family. Kiss of the Spider family. My family is overdrawn at the Memory Bank.
[00:56:00] Yeah. Adams family values is one of the. Oh, I love it. One of the funny great, great sequel.
[00:56:05] I haven't watched in a while. It was just summer camp stuff with two scaring people.
[00:56:09] It's great. I was too afraid of that. You know that guy, that kid fucking was like threatening
[00:56:15] Shane Gillis through DMS. Oh, David Crumholtz. Oh God. Yeah, the other the
[00:56:19] Crumholtz. Yeah. I like Crumholtz. He was the, yeah, he was Christina Ricci's like love interest
[00:56:23] and family. I don't see the value. I have to know. Why was he threatening?
[00:56:26] I'm really SNL thing. Oh, okay. He had DM. He's like, you got something to say about Jews.
[00:56:33] Say it to me. I'll spin your fucking eye. He's talking about Chinese people.
[00:56:39] I don't know. I guess someone told David Crumholtz it was about Jews. How? He was saying something
[00:56:44] about the Jews. I like that like old school, like boomer getting mad at anti anti-Semitism thing.
[00:56:53] People are making fun of Crumholtz on the internet a couple of years ago because he got really fat.
[00:56:57] Dude, the picture of this is a two picture.
[00:57:02] Fucking this more bitch. The side by side.
[00:57:06] But I think he just got fat for a role or did he actually get fat?
[00:57:08] I think got fat for a role. But then it was us the same thing. Jesse Plemons.
[00:57:11] He got fat, quote, unquote fat for a role. Yeah. And now Jesus.
[00:57:16] What was that role? Was he playing comedian Amy Schumer in a movie?
[00:57:19] Yeah. Amy Schumer after after 35 minutes in the microwave.
[00:57:30] A fun experiment. Amy Schumer is a friend.
[00:57:33] Adam, so it's not until David Crumholtz is the arms.
[00:57:36] And David's saying the chain's a good guy.
[00:57:38] And we're, you know, he's never been anti-Semitic to my face.
[00:57:44] Yeah, Crumholtz. I'm trying to squash this beef if you're listening.
[00:57:47] Yeah, it's like this is him. This is him and his wife in like 20 fucking 15 or whatever.
[00:57:55] I love fighting like there's one picture in particular.
[00:58:01] He got shorter somehow. You got shorter? Yeah. Yeah.
[00:58:04] This poor woman. Wow. You know, I mean, I'm sure they're in love with each other.
[00:58:08] He's got millions of dollars or whatever. But
[00:58:10] if you're looking to cheat, sister, you're going to fuck Crumholtz.
[00:58:19] Just so you can fuck stuff if you want to. Yeah, you can hit stop of it.
[00:58:23] Not me. Look, no offense lady, but I don't share my bitches.
[00:58:28] Yeah, it's true. The stop loses tooth again.
[00:58:37] Yeah. Yet another Star Rose false flag.
[00:58:42] I text him. I said, oh my God, sweetie. Are you okay?
[00:58:46] And he said, I still have my tooth. You fell for it. You stupid bitch.
[00:58:49] This is so funny. I guess he had like a year where he was handsome.
[00:58:54] No, he was like a goofy dork. You know, it was like goofy cute.
[00:58:58] Nah, not because he was in other teen movies.
[00:59:04] He was elf in the Santa Claus Bernard, the elf.
[00:59:07] And he's like, oh, there's not enough. We don't have, you know,
[00:59:10] I mean, he's like, oh, is this like befuddled dork?
[00:59:14] But I guess, yeah, there whatever this is from whatever this movie he was like,
[00:59:22] It's like, you know, approachable, you know, the approachable nice guy.
[00:59:25] That's the movie. You got to have one year where you're hot and then you go right back to be fucking shit.
[00:59:30] Whenever I see crumbled to something, I'm happy.
[00:59:55] This is like, this is what people look like when they just like,
[00:59:57] they get like that heavy sheet of fat on their front of their torso.
[01:00:02] Or it's like, you know, you're just, it's lights out for you, I guess.
[01:00:17] Squash the beef on Shane's behalf for you.
[01:00:23] Yeah. Anytime you show, who's that other guy Rob something?
[01:00:32] Anytime he's in something, I just like him.
[01:00:42] I want to find out something bad about Jason Sudakis.
[01:00:48] All the people that liked Ted Lasso, they're probably all of the so,
[01:01:00] There's a huge crossover between people who are.
[01:01:02] The way they stepped in with the fucking,
[01:01:07] You know, like, it turns out the one time they expressed
[01:01:10] support for a group of people, it turns out to be like,
[01:01:14] like, like fucking Indiana Jones, the court level Nazis.
[01:01:19] They have like tattoos of the Holy Grail on their arm.
[01:01:22] And it's like, if you don't like, not just kill all the Jews,
[01:01:29] Ted Lasso giving a motivational speech to the guys who are like,
[01:01:32] fucking opening up the arc of the Covenant.
[01:01:35] We find out that like, Jason Sudakis is like,
[01:01:38] not only raping children, but like, doing some mollocks,
[01:01:44] That would truly be, you know, he just gets caught with an infant
[01:01:48] Nick, you've been following all the guys like on Reddit,
[01:01:50] who have like, gone over to join like an international brigade
[01:01:54] No, but one of the funniest things I've ever seen,
[01:02:00] But they did a picture of just some fat dumbass with like,
[01:02:04] those like, like, like, not transition glasses,
[01:02:07] but like, like very light purple prescription lens
[01:02:11] crafters and like wearing like the comms headset armor,
[01:02:24] I can't describe why it's funny because I mean,
[01:02:27] but just like the way the headsets kind of just sort of like,
[01:02:34] Slovenly nature to the thing that's like,
[01:02:37] if for whatever reason Michael Tracy was there to be like,
[01:02:40] actually the Ukraine thing is gay or whatever.
[01:03:00] The Carvel was out of napkins in downtown Kia.
[01:03:04] The Carvel ice cream was out of napkins in downtown Kia.
[01:03:07] I wonder what college students think about this.