Cum Town | Regular | 04/15/2022
[00:00:00] I'm sure all of you are aware already, you know, I mean we'll talk about it but
[00:00:11] Stav killed himself this week and so we'd like to just obviously this is gonna be the last episode
[00:00:20] Yeah, I mean we will but I think I'm saying I think this should be the last episode
[00:00:26] And we'd like to do it don't dedicate what what the fuck is wrong my head a dought cake I like to a dought
[00:00:33] I like to a dought cake this message to mental health. Yeah
[00:00:38] We gotta be talking about me to have because
[00:00:46] Seven we don't a seven was on the way out. Yeah, I said I love the way he says his mom's name
[00:00:52] Don't don't don't yeah, also the guy he's got a weird guy in the documentary. It's he's like Kaya. Yeah
[00:01:00] The emphasis is on is on the second when you when you
[00:01:04] Write a song when you write a hey when you when you write a song
[00:01:10] You're not thinking about the music you're thinking about
[00:01:14] The way the language is related to your subconscious. Yeah
[00:01:19] Yeah, he's not I mean he has like a weird accent. Yeah, I don't know what it is
[00:01:27] Kinda got like a weird accent, right? I don't think sorry
[00:01:30] I'm like guys. I was having the gentrified urge to open the third coffee shop on the same block in Brooklyn
[00:01:36] When you when you get when you have the gentrified urge when you have the gentrified urge to open the third coffee shop
[00:01:49] Let's just go. I'm gonna do Kanye reading
[00:01:54] I think it's just like a little mentally ill a little gay
[00:02:15] And you're gonna want to go check out you know it only makes sense if you have like a fucking bit of land again
[00:02:27] When you post a picture yesterday with someone
[00:02:31] That someone is Dave Chappelle and we stand together as comics
[00:02:38] But I do not agree with him on transgender issues
[00:02:41] Wait, it's so funny. Yeah, I'm trying to do Kanye. Oh, really if he were had all of the install
[00:02:48] I see but a secret like him isn't done evolving
[00:02:53] Please see the thread from my full apology. Thank you. Oh
[00:02:57] That's he was making fun of on the gentrified in the gentrified urge tweet which is so beautiful
[00:03:02] Everyone is at all the boys and thank you to all the boys are being like this is this is you know
[00:03:07] This is the best tweet I've ever seen in my life
[00:03:09] Listen if you haven't retweeted that tweet just go ahead and do it again. I want to give it to
[00:03:19] When you have the gentrified urge what's going to sound like I don't know
[00:03:25] So anyway, but he he is literally just responding to every single awesome
[00:03:30] And I'm gonna let you just retweet it Adam
[00:03:33] I'm gonna let it breathe for a couple days and then I'm gonna retweet it to kind of I retweeted it today
[00:03:37] Stop doing it. I'll give it a couple days. Let it four days. Give it four days of four days and guys if you're listening to this
[00:03:44] Go look it up. He tweeted on the tweet is on January 14
[00:03:51] Ian fight 90 day for down say 90 day fight-ins the tweet is the gentrified urge to open the third coffee shop on
[00:04:06] Comedy just doesn't get cleaner and more concise. It was that it was at 442 p.m. On January 14th Twitter for iPhone
[00:04:14] You know, I'm like am I living in another timeline?
[00:04:17] The pandemic started in 2020 how the fuck are people saying three years of a pandemic?
[00:04:24] Mm-hmm not really what does he sound like?
[00:04:27] I mean you got a little something there you got a little piece of it, but I don't know exactly how am I so dumb?
[00:04:32] That's just somebody else. This is where people responding
[00:04:39] And I'm Ian five dancing. I'm gay and I'm Obama
[00:04:45] Perfect show the 30 Rock unfuck with a boy. Yeah, he's right about that. He's right. It's good
[00:04:51] Hello, well Chris Brown beat the shit out of Rihanna in 2009 and won a Grammy three years later save the crocodile to
[00:04:59] Take a little like a little southern a little southern. He is
[00:05:04] He is southern. No, he's from small black people or southern. No, I don't think he isn't his dad from like southern Maryland
[00:05:10] His dad opened an oxygen bar in like Charles County or some city or Calvert County. Yes, we're a guy
[00:05:16] Entrepreneur something really strange, but the where the we're a lot of the like the black
[00:05:22] I think like mid Atlantic accent comes from its people from like South Carolina
[00:05:26] Yeah, moving to the mid Atlanta sure, but still you went a little subtle little you gave a little too much
[00:05:32] When you poo in your pants if you make poo in your pants
[00:05:38] Then you've done do do you you made yourself a doo do you done do do yourself?
[00:05:43] You've you do do yourself boy become a done do do gentlemen
[00:05:48] Crocodile everybody's talking about crocodile Dundee, but how about crocodile Dundee?
[00:05:53] How about crocodile do do how about crocodile Dundee do and he's gone do do in his pants because he's scared of the alligator Joe
[00:05:59] That ain't no shit cuz he's a shit cuz he's scared of the alligator Joe wrote and that's when I with the latest album
[00:06:07] Doned in 19. I was thinking if I met which you could only play on a Nintendo DS
[00:06:13] Which it has to be played you yeah, you got to get an automatic little box
[00:06:21] And the sounds it makes when it breaks. Yeah, that's the album the only it only plays on the Zudji Rishi rice cooker when it's done
[00:06:29] What if you spent thousands of dollars on appliances and still didn't bring your mom back?
[00:06:34] That's what I was thinking about it when I did this I said if I met an alligator
[00:06:38] I would I would do do in my pants myself. I would done do do I would be crocodile do do do do
[00:06:50] Well you have to have to give us something they have the aboriginals good
[00:06:55] That's an interesting or like a why don't I say original people this is good. This is him retweeting himself from December a long
[00:07:02] Just not just December and it's a reason to believe 2019 2019
[00:07:11] Give them too much attention that'll run away, but ignore them just enough and they'll show you their butthole
[00:07:18] Very good. It's not a bad tweet really awesome to retweet it three years later for no real reason
[00:07:24] You just can't give you can't even just take a rare dub
[00:07:32] Yes, it'd be like I need I need 40 more likes on this
[00:07:36] I need some water. We had a very salty lunch. We had sushi
[00:07:40] We have fucking me so soup he and fighting son tiktok
[00:07:53] Okay, guys are not by okay girls we buy you guys we made out it was crazy if I make up with this guy at a party we are no longer friends
[00:08:10] He's being very biphobic for a body because it reminds me of like all the silly dating shows that I like to watch
[00:08:15] So I thought it would be fun to use this as if I was on a dating show
[00:08:24] You got the full experience folks you watch tiktok at home and now you watch tiktok on a show
[00:08:29] Yeah, you can listen to listen to tiktok by the way my tiktok is the algorithm works
[00:08:33] My shit is all girls with huge tits really just nothing else. It's awesome. They know what you like
[00:08:39] They really though for the Chinese habits figured out
[00:08:41] I let Trump dig up my grandmother and grab her by the pussy if it lowered the gas prices
[00:09:05] Oh fuck that's so that's a good one. That's a awesome that might be better than that might be better than the gentrified urge
[00:09:12] No, it's not you're right the gentrified urge is
[00:09:17] By a whisker, but thrown in grabber by the pussy 2020 March 2020
[00:09:22] This is funny with the Grammy thing about Lucy Kate and the cryo tears
[00:09:26] I don't realize it was a tweet 3 out there goes on oh nice
[00:09:29] Hey morons of Twitter Chris Chris Brown physically assaulted Rihanna didn't spend a day in jail got probation broke
[00:09:35] It didn't face cons okay, what did that have to do?
[00:09:38] Louis pulled his dick out and was a creepy pervert never even clutches their pearls and thinks he should be banished from society forever
[00:09:45] Now thing will ever be a good enough to make up for you
[00:09:47] I don't care about Louie and you can't even name the woman. He quote unquote abuse
[00:09:52] I mean literally like quite literally like if there's a sexual assault allocation you shouldn't name the
[00:10:06] It's it's a remember when Ian was like remember when he was like there's a real good documentary about the Michael Brown case
[00:10:13] That was made by black black people black gators and he listed off
[00:10:19] It was it was just nothing but like like yeah classic black conservatives that were just like it was awesome
[00:10:25] It was what he just saw Thomas soul. Yeah, Samuel Jackson from Django
[00:10:38] Yeah, it was like a bunch of black leaders
[00:10:42] Doesn't want you to know the truth about Mike Brown
[00:10:45] It's like these politics are so awesome. They're wrong
[00:10:50] He's doing a bit where he's shitting on by people as a as a
[00:10:54] Most bisexual person ever actually it's not most
[00:10:58] Yeah, the thing is is like, you know, like people say like oh like a woman can be by but a forgotten
[00:11:03] He's a bi then they're just a fucking gay. Yeah. Yeah, and the thing is it's like the reason people say that is because of guys like Ian
[00:11:14] Instead of instead of being so bifubic you should be you should be out there being less gay. This is great
[00:11:19] This is great. It's a it's a quote suite of someone saying at Ian animal 69
[00:11:25] So are you outside the montro's stop the other day?
[00:11:27] Just wanted to let you know that you were looking nice
[00:11:30] So then Ian says thank you and next time say hi instead of observing me from afar and tweeting about it days later
[00:11:42] Observing me you're listening to Ian podcast you listen to us thinking about our friend Ian the Ian Ian podcast by Dan
[00:11:49] Oh, they just solved the the zodiac killer on a national
[00:11:41] Yeah, we're watching TV right now. He made this an animated GIF is him just pointing at the camera and that's awesome
[00:12:00] It could just be a regular photo could be a picture. He does not
[00:12:03] No reason why is it again? He made this again in fact, it's confusing as a kid
[00:12:10] Ian retweeted this post. It's just a picture of Tony's a brat
[00:12:14] You wake up as Tony's soprano. What do you do? Hell yeah? Yeah, this is there we go
[00:12:19] I will say okay. This is I want out. This is insane. They arrested Will Smith today in Los Angeles hashtag Will Smith willing Chris
[00:12:27] JK y'all you just got five danced happy April fools. Oh my who fell for that
[00:12:33] He says okay, what the fuck I thought this is a pick. Why is it a gym?
[00:12:40] How did you accidentally make an animated gym I don't I don't know how to make one of these I know it's awesome
[00:12:47] It's also like being the guy who said who sends fake links on April Fool's Day. Yeah
[00:12:56] Oh, I love him so I know I wish he was here because I do want to just I want to I want him to I want him to defend
[00:13:05] Exactly. Yeah, this is unfair. You just call him a dial him in
[00:13:10] Yeah, I've missed all his guest appearance because he's been filling in for me. Unfortunately. Yeah. Oh
[00:13:16] Shit Nash Bridges giving the zodiac killer his gun
[00:13:18] I love Nash Bridges, dude. Yeah, it's a good show. You got Cheech
[00:13:29] Cheech is a fucker awesome day one more isn't anything to me
[00:13:33] It should blast his ass Nash. Oh, this is good conflicts with Russia question mark sheesh. Why are we putting up with this folks
[00:13:42] Oh, come on is Ian retweeting a compliment on his joke from little miss B. I can't stop laughing. It's so wrong and perfect
[00:14:00] His tweets are like a little piece of dark chocolate for the fattest secretary you've ever seen
[00:14:09] It's so wrong and so fucking perfect. I would say that's all the ins writing
[00:14:14] Yeah, I'll all of the idea that Chris Rock made fun of somebody with a disability for being bald if that's true
[00:14:20] I'm very quickly becoming disabled. Oh boy
[00:14:26] He would that's Bill Mar right at the bar level. Yeah, that would be awesome if Ian start right from Bill Mar
[00:16:05] Oh my god, that's really really good stuff
[00:16:40] Fucking you just a all just an awesome guy you can have an awesome time around you
[00:16:51] Oh my god, yeah, I'm on vacation. She was like she was in an opera in an opera audience. Oh vacation
[00:17:02] Fuck yeah, dude fuck yeah, dude that rules
[00:17:09] Manager sung by I said do I'm trying to get me some Oakley's
[00:17:19] There goes monk you guys ever watch monk
[00:17:22] Yeah, dude with the ship the big shalib
[00:17:26] Shalib you can fuck my bitch would you let Tony Shalu fuck your bitch?
[00:17:29] I think probably is it when it's musical notes got in one little fight at the Oscars in the world got scared
[00:17:42] That is a fucking masterpiece right there. Yeah, somebody just replied. I prefer to fight with pen and legislation
[00:18:03] This thing doesn't even he starts off with a joke that's already bombing and then he makes it worse because he tries to like
[00:18:09] Make it a society. Yeah, it's always like knock knock who's there orange? It's like orange you and he's like
[00:18:17] Aren't you glad it took 20 years to get out of Afghanistan
[00:18:39] Weapons of mass destruction. I don't see any okay. All right. Here's the good one
[00:18:46] Court tweet so this is a bill to make daylight savings permanent as the US said it's knock knock who's there? Oh not
[00:18:54] The weapons of mass destruction because they don't exist you're right right that's good. Yeah
[00:18:59] All right, so this okay first of all getting rid of daylight savings is a great idea
[00:19:04] It's yeah, it's stupid when she gets dark at four whatever
[00:19:08] So breaking a bill to make daylight savings permit just past the US Senate
[00:19:15] Can you erase student debt give us health insurance make sure we don't go
[00:19:20] Lower the price of gas us government no, but we can do this to prove that time isn't real
[00:19:27] The proof that time is a real I don't get that that's awesome
[00:19:42] Go buy some merch off Ian's website. I'm very good. See Vermont in
[00:19:52] That's already what are boo's plugging in the states. We'll make up for
[00:19:59] I was a manager at a single asset fuck yeah, dude. Okay, dude. That rules
[00:20:19] Yeah, I gotta find it. Yeah, I gotta watch it one more time. Just one more dude. Just one smart one more time. Oh
[00:20:32] This commercial really have him with the weirdest green screen background. You ever see him do stand up
[00:20:37] No, I did never have that was a guy. I remember when I was like young comic
[00:20:41] That was a guy that would come to shitty clubs. Yeah, Erwin would book him. Yeah, and you'd be like wow
[00:20:46] Yeah, look in your mind because like the celebrity is just one sphere. Yeah, so that's like to me as a retarded
[00:20:56] Young man. Yeah, that was no different than if they were like we have Bruce Willis coming
[00:21:01] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, which by the way shout out to Bruce something's fucked up with his head top
[00:21:05] I can't remember and we're praying for you big Bruce. See. Thank you for the for all the years
[00:21:52] Really old fucking excellent website website that's on the up and up with all of their financial transactions
[00:21:59] It's I met the cushy dream. I know this is not a cushy dream read by met the cushy dreams guy
[00:22:03] Mm-hmm. He's the guy that said that I tanked his business. No, no, that was his brother
[00:22:07] But the other two guys two guys you met. Oh and feet were in Phoenix. No, they were to stay there in town
[00:22:13] Oh, they were in town and I don't know how it is a bit like there's like a way that fucking only people that are in the weed
[00:22:19] Business know how to wear a bandana and like a fitted hat. It's like a specific
[00:22:25] Yeah, like a flat brim. Yeah, but then they also have like the bandana that I've only seen weed guys kind of an
[00:22:33] Yeah, yeah, I'm a Travis Pastrana style. Yeah, my bookie.ag is a gambling website for those for the gentleman of the of the card
[00:22:44] For you know if you're somebody that works at sunglass hot
[00:22:49] If you're full man, it's a fun. If you have your sunglass hot severance package you want to gamble
[00:22:55] Well, no finer place to do it than my bookie.ag. I was I was just a clerk at Radio Shack
[00:23:07] He's so nice. I was the shift supervisor at McDonald's overnight shift supervisor McDonald's fuck. Yeah, dude
[00:23:15] That rules spent on anything anywhere anytime your first deposit bonus is up to a thousand dollars plus a ten dollar
[00:23:23] Casino chip that you play on their digital online casino
[00:23:27] That's incredible. Also 150 casino bonus up to
[00:23:31] $750 hundred percent sports welcome bonus. You could play with Bitcoin. They got table games live casino slots
[00:23:38] They got NBA odds NHL odds and they have live in game wagering that you can they adjust the odds throughout the game
[00:23:45] We can cash out all this crap and we got some big stuff the gamble on coming up
[00:23:50] Yeah, we got a play officer starting this week in fact
[00:23:53] I'm pissed off because I'm oh by the way
[00:23:56] I'm gonna be in Toronto this week and there's still tickets available for the Friday late show all the other ones are sold out
[00:24:00] But I'm pissed because I wanted to see the Raptors play the Sixers
[00:24:04] But they're gonna be a Philly the Raptors didn't have home court you fucking Canadian pieces of shit blue
[00:24:09] You blew it you fucked my ass. I wanted to watch you play off game
[00:24:13] But if you're from the comfort of your own home and you want to wager on these games
[00:24:17] We got incredible first round matchups. We got the Celtics will likely face the nets. You got fucking
[00:24:27] You know, they're playing the fucking jazz the jazz suck shit
[00:24:30] But with Luca hurt does that open the door for them?
[00:24:33] You know Milwaukee's playing Chicago. They're gonna fuck their asses. No questions asked about that
[00:24:38] But then we've got some potentially nice second round series. I mean Memphis could play Golden State
[00:24:43] In the second round that'd be something fucking wild. There's a lot of great stuff to look at the bitch ass Lakers are out of it
[00:24:51] All their fans are gay. What's it called Adam where you did these shoot things diagonally?
[00:24:56] Like the movie wanted. Yeah. Yeah, what's that called? I don't know bullet bending still something like tilted or something
[00:25:03] Yeah, they do that Nash bridges would do that a lot. It's always doing it right now
[00:25:06] It's always at an angle. Yeah, well cuz they're in San Francisco. Yeah everything's on a show that it's downhill
[00:25:12] Yeah, now that's a good directing. Yeah, yeah, that's really that's my memory of this shows
[00:25:17] It don't this is Don Johnson being like I'm still a piece of ass. Yeah
[00:25:22] He's still probably like 85 years old and he looks better than I do. Yeah, dude
[00:25:26] He was daughter is also hot when he's pounding down. He was looking good back then too
[00:25:31] He's done. I stopped. Have you seen eyes. Have you seen dead bang? I haven't you should watch that dude
[00:25:36] That movie is amazing. I should you keep tough. I've met we've had this conversation. I always am like I'm gonna watch and I never do
[00:25:42] Yeah, I was blown away. I thought it was gonna be a piece of shit. Yeah, and uh
[00:25:47] What is it? Is it Frankenheimer? It's Franken. I think it is. Yeah
[00:25:53] The trailer made it look like yeah, that extra had big tits
[00:25:56] So anyway guys if you want a bet on the NBA play this you just pushes a building over. Yeah, it's not attached to the ground in any way
[00:26:13] Wait, who is that guy that guy's an actor? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, what is he in? I don't know
[00:26:19] He's uh, he's really familiar. It's Justin green. He I think he does. He's got the green eyes. He's light skin don Johnson
[00:26:27] Yeah, look at this. Look how dated this intro is
[00:26:29] I know this was like everything and I remember this looking like new is shit. Oh, yeah
[00:26:33] Yeah, I was like damn everything's gonna look like this in the future Don John
[00:26:37] I respect you Don Johnson being like yeah, let me just do old version of Miami voice
[00:26:41] Do they bring you know they're bringing Nash Bridge's back right with him. Yes
[00:26:45] That's awesome. He was like I always loved the character
[00:26:47] He just won a bunch of money in a lawsuit to for what he owned like half
[00:26:53] And you know what save your crocodile tears cuz
[00:26:56] Yeah, Chris Brown and that was 20 years ago and though he'd be his own dick
[00:27:01] Chris Brown beat Rihanna. That's a real equivalency that makes a lot of motherfucking sense
[00:27:06] We do I'm gonna defense attorney for men who mass so in front of women if you go to fuck yeah
[00:27:13] Rules if you go to my bookie dot AG and you sign up sign up with promo code come town or come town town 20
[00:27:24] So if you try one and it doesn't work you sure do not try the other one
[00:27:29] No, try the other try the other try the other one try the other one. Don't listen to Nick now listen to me
[00:27:34] You could play bakarot American roulette European roulette war while there's different
[00:27:38] You play hard you play fucking a high-card low card on the line with a stranger Caribbean. That's awesome. Yeah craft for money
[00:27:47] Triple-edge really just a fucking degenerate
[00:27:50] That needs to feel something completely ran away doing that it's a cartoon on a computer stage
[00:27:56] You know coin flip game where you play a hundred dollar hands. Yeah, there's a game called
[00:28:02] Red Dog they Robert Richard Robert, Rachael
[00:28:07] That was great. Maybe that's Robert Richard right there. It might be my a sure is not Richard. No, it said Robert
[00:28:15] I go for all of our for all of our Chinese listeners
[00:28:20] Leo's big score is the episode is the episode of the attention here
[00:28:24] Guest starring Robert. Oh rich horror. I said it's great. That's a very funny way to spell your name. Are I apostrophe C. H. R. D. Hell yeah
[00:28:34] Yeah, this kid's been a lot of shit isn't thought me. He's old to shit now. What's his name? I don't know turd cresler
[00:28:40] We could check we can look it up Leo's big score
[00:28:42] Turd cresler anyway, listen. I'm in Toronto this weekend. I'm pro the tour for me is finally ending
[00:28:48] I'm fucking tired of the road is sucking my dick
[00:28:50] But we've got a couple big dates left before I take a whole summer sabbatical
[00:28:54] Toronto this weekend Providence the 28th through the 30th
[00:28:59] Washington DC the 12th of the 15th and then Philadelphia the 16th of the 18th for some reason Oh in San Diego San Diego the
[00:29:09] Ian will be there. He will be that fuck. Yeah, dude
[00:29:12] People have been asking me about teachers the merge is gonna drop at some point the next two weeks keep an eye out
[00:29:17] It's gonna be on a website Adam free land calm probably legit pot delio is what?
[00:29:26] Google calls this episode Leo's big score. I don't know why and also subscribe to my YouTube channel
[00:29:33] I still have to tweak a couple things so I don't have the exact final date, but it's happening for sure in May
[00:29:38] I promise I've promised a hundred times. It's actually happening
[00:29:42] The mid-prime middle of May. Oh, it's Robert Rieshard. It's him. That's yeah. Yeah, Leo
[00:29:49] What else has he been in he has been in coach Carter? Yep. Yes. Yes
[00:29:54] Wait, that's where that's where he taught him how to play the game, but he also taught him how to play the game of life, right?
[00:30:02] Cousin's Gator, of course. Yeah, famously on the show cousin's Gator. Yeah
[00:30:11] Should have something called California. You ever watch one on one on UPN. That's where I know my thought his name is Michael glue
[00:30:18] No, okay. Well, who's Michael glue? I don't know my one on one was awesome. It was supposedly set in Baltimore
[00:30:25] That's a UPN show really bought the bothered me. I loved it. I thought the daughter was hot
[00:30:30] I think it was just like it was at a time in my life where I think I think like
[00:30:34] When I was younger than that I was like every show is good because it's on TV, right?
[00:30:39] If it's on TV, then they're right and I'm wrong
[00:30:42] And then when I saw that I was like this. I'm not laughing at it. It didn't make me laugh. I wanted to fuck the daughter
[00:30:49] She was hot. Well, who the fuck is Michael glue this guy?
[00:30:53] He's you know, you know who Robert Richard is guys. There's a white version of him who's evil in every movie
[00:31:01] No, here we go. If you see if you look at there's a guy that looks just like a micro Microsoft most valuable
[00:31:07] Professional business applications Michael glue from Canada. I don't think that's it. I guess confusing the two of them Robert
[00:31:13] Richard is a nice MX 365 business central developer since 2001 beginning with Navison 2.6. Oh
[00:31:20] Hmm, that's probably they don't really look you kind of looks like Jim Norton. He does
[00:31:25] So maybe I was confusing Jim Norton with Michael glue, right, right and then the fuck did I guess I thought the other guy was Patrice
[00:31:32] Oh, yeah, it's called chocolate city colon Vegas, but it looks like it is okay chocolate
[00:31:38] That's the add a little asshole. It is like a bad and free lunch to me. It's about it's okay
[00:31:43] It's like a black version of magic mic, right?
[00:31:45] So in this one the exotic dancer. They call a black city Mike
[00:31:49] Black chick Mike that did answers from chocolate city get back together for a trip to Vegas and a chance of $500,000
[00:31:56] In prize money to save the nightclub from foreclosure
[00:31:59] That's all they decide to enter national stripper competition
[00:32:02] They must travel to Vegas to try their luck at winning. There's also this guy Michael glue from Cheltenham, England
[00:32:08] No, that's pretty well. I'm a nice Michael glue. I'm single. I'm 26. I need to get some water
[00:32:13] I'm fucking dying over here. I'll be right down. You are cute. Say great. I love this video
[00:32:16] Michael's giant white is in this movie and vivigate Fox. I love your voice and Bell be from the Spice Girls
[00:32:26] Oh, this guy Keith Carla here. I just wanted to say thank you so much for your support. I'm here with Casper from the band
[00:32:36] So we're on our way to LA now and hopefully we'll be on our way to Brazil sometime. How will we so cool?
[00:32:44] What is that? I don't know a secret Brazil
[00:32:49] Fonte bresselera so brea contora e compositora no reguesa secret
[00:32:59] She's some British singer. It's pretty cool. It's pretty cool
[00:33:20] What is this I don't know some Brazilian I hope we get sued by this is awesome cup. That's pretty good. You just Dave
[00:33:32] It's been listening to show forever Greek guy some Greek guy that does a real estate that's been like
[00:33:37] He's been writing the show since it started
[00:33:40] Huh? I don't know some guy. He's been he got you this mug. He sent it to me. Yeah, that's nice Dave right
[00:33:45] I think he's a I forget his name. Maybe my Greek name. We used to talk more. I think it's it's like maybe his right
[00:33:51] Appellate right. Yeah, right so writes a bunch of child porn. No, we don't do that right?
[00:33:57] Yeah, right what do you mean write it? Yeah?
[00:33:59] You're describing it in like a novelized. Yeah low lead is not put I want to see this movie as a good book
[00:34:16] That's this sucks that's it she made me feel weird
[00:34:30] This is the worst music I've ever heard honestly this is like truly offensive
[00:34:34] This is this was on the late show with the fat British guy James Corden James. Yeah, James Marshmallow James Corden
[00:34:44] The hosts of come town. He's our favorite late night host. It's a who is secret. Who is secret?
[00:34:55] I don't know. I mean I get his music as bad as comedy probably probably where I like the way no, I mean, you know, we're not even close
[00:35:10] You're right. There was a lot of salt that fuck dude. This is just making me feel bad
[00:35:21] This is what I get for not getting a birthday percentage
[00:35:23] I'm never not getting it, but they just say I was
[00:35:33] It's suck dick grits a secret bad dude. I see I
[00:35:49] Hey should I try to roll in kpop idol school? Yes, you think they'll take me I'm trying to go over to Korea
[00:36:22] Would just have Korean barbecue forever meal I'd die in like four weeks
[00:36:26] Oh man, they put you on that crazy diet. They get you so much plastic surgery, too
[00:36:31] I would look like handsome Squidward. You look very gorgeous. No, I would have a big chin
[00:36:36] Squidward. I look like handsome Squidward the bog band of it's twins. Yes, exactly
[00:36:41] Yeah, they're dead right the butt cheeks of it's twins. They're dead. Yeah, they both died together. That's beautiful
[00:36:48] Yeah, that's the kind of so much they love you. Yeah, no woman could ever love them like they loved each other
[00:36:54] They probably hate it having sex with women. Oh my god
[00:36:58] How could you be the perfect man and then to mean yourself by having sex with a normal woman?
[00:37:08] Those poor fellows to even have to talk to women
[00:37:11] Anyways, I guess it's back to Ian's Twitter. Okay, let's go back. Oh boy. I'm sleepy
[00:37:18] We don't have to go back to you. Do you even have the fucking all right? I guess I'll keep looking at secrets Twitter
[00:37:24] Figure out this is what the hell is I'm red pill down blue pill down black pill. Hey, gang. I'm addicted to pills
[00:37:32] That's pretty good this tweet is pretty good
[00:37:36] Should I move this game that avian be the Michael McDonald of K-pop? Yeah, yeah, yeah, 100%
[00:38:00] I do want to go back to Korea. I only went that one time. No, man chill
[00:38:15] I really I wouldn't call that one a sneak
[00:38:25] Well, I didn't hear it and that's fine as long as I didn't hear it
[00:38:36] I don't know secret. I don't give a fuck about that bitch
[00:38:39] That's a good you put a new single coming out. Yes, she hot
[00:38:49] She's pretty she's not as hot as Kyla Pratt
[00:38:52] She's very pretty but from the show won't from upans one-on-one sometimes all like knock
[00:39:00] No, no Kyla, I'll knock people points down if they're just hot be like like they're the standard issue hot of their ethnicity
[00:39:07] You know what I mean who's secret. Yeah, I'm gonna fall. I'm falling
[00:39:18] Secret is not that hot. She's kind of a real room for me. You know fucking disgusting piece of pizza
[00:39:23] It's like a real person. I don't know why women do that what they post pictures themselves eating the worst slice of pizza
[00:39:29] I've ever seen yeah, you were complaining about Chelsea Manning on Sunday, which will come out soon
[00:39:33] Yeah, the Sunday episode Nick really goes in on Chelsea Manning's first post after
[00:39:38] Jail, I guess she looks like a regular bitch, which you know what that means that's nice
[00:39:43] But here's the thing if you look regular then you know she's not regular. She's a famous person right so you never put up with
[00:39:50] Like a regular you have to put up with all of the look
[00:39:53] She's not good enough in singing to look secret if you're listening. We've already decided we're not dating you
[00:39:58] Seagrid we're not I mean listen hold on. I'll let you suck me off a
[00:40:04] Couple times even but no, I don't want to release it. I would treat you so good. I know here's what I would do
[00:40:10] I didn't fight you ever my mom and then I'd explain Ian finance to you
[00:40:14] And then I'd say you know what I just got to show you yeah
[00:40:17] I play the video and you'd watch me sit here cackling if the sunglasses had crowd work video
[00:40:22] For hours then we'd watch natch bridges until my dick gets even softer than you are
[00:40:28] What you don't realize is like this is like the Ed trader shows like a Baltimore
[00:40:47] Yeah, I don't know it's just European enough that it makes me feel like it's like a fake thing
[00:40:52] It's like I'm not interested in secret. Yeah. Well, it's like the music and all of it
[00:40:56] It's like it's like it's like fake music that's created for like the Sims or some of the alternate reality
[00:41:02] It doesn't even sound like she's saying English
[00:41:05] That's right. Wow. She's with and now I'm kind of hooked on the idea of being the the secret of a boyfriend
[00:41:13] If you ask that question again, I'm gonna spin kick your head off. Do you really want to fuck shig rid that bad, dude?
[00:41:18] No, I just think she's nice shut up. She just looks like a nice person
[00:41:28] She was like a standard issue Danish type
[00:41:32] Or Norwegian where we compare to the pussy that we get through
[00:41:37] Oh, she's kissing someone the fuck she's a fucking slut
[00:41:56] From the he's he's so extreme at skiing damn I want to cut this guy's head off with a fucking caton
[00:42:03] You want to kill nickel I've never seen him, but if I could eviscerate this man
[00:42:07] You know I'm having sex with yes, so sick. I'm so the slopes of Norway with his fucking blood
[00:42:14] Yeah, I love you and then have a nice big fucking reindeer pie afterwards
[00:42:18] I'm so mad. I would honestly love to go on of just a massive killing spree through Scandinavia
[00:42:25] Thing like imagine like a kill dozer, but it's got chains with blades on the end
[00:42:31] Fly around like a helicopter. Yeah, yeah like a ground. Yeah, how go to the hospital bitch
[00:42:36] You get free fucking medicine. Why don't you use it? Yeah? Yeah fucking cunt. That's the kind of shit. I would love
[00:42:43] That place seems like you know like it would be pretty pretty fun. I really find out this grows 12
[00:42:50] That's a great point. She's very likely underage
[00:43:00] Okay, 96 she's we're good. Oh my god. She's too old fucker than old bitch. Oh, she's a cigarette Rob Rob himself
[00:43:12] That's her last name. She's she's related to himself. Yeah, she's a member of the himself family. I think that's her accent
[00:43:22] But that's an interesting accent are you from Pennsylvania?
[00:43:24] She's from alizan de narve. I'm from the new
[00:43:32] That fucking movie the Norseman or whatever my dick is on
[00:43:41] You're naming oh by the way blue cheer. We'll get your dick. Oh, yeah
[00:43:45] If you if there's not a cool movie about reviking revenge to get your dick card
[00:43:49] Then you need chewable tablets from our friends over at blue chew doc. Oh my god. It's been really nice
[00:43:55] That's why they call him the king of the segue this guy and the thing is guys. I've been on tour
[00:44:01] I've been living really unhealthy. I've been getting fatter. I've been getting my
[00:44:05] Circulations are getting worse, but due to blue chew my dick has stayed hard the pussy don't stop in the dick keep getting
[00:44:11] Just cuz I'm slowly dying doesn't mean I'm gonna stop getting pussy and blue chew
[00:44:15] Makes makes it possible from my cock to ignore the warning signs from my body and get hard quite literally like
[00:44:22] It's it's the way that nature intended it is how life should be because you should lose your ability to get a boner
[00:44:28] And then come to terms with your mortality exactly, but not me
[00:44:32] I keep getting chewable tablets, but you can now take these damn pills from our friends that
[00:44:37] B- or these chewables from my friends at blue chew doc. Thank you, and they may work faster and they may
[00:44:46] Toss theoretical you get them the generic ingredients behind Viagra
[00:44:52] To dala fils and then fill exactly you can get them in different strengths
[00:44:56] You can get it a different amounts per month
[00:44:57] Mm-hmm, and all you have to do is go on and talk to one of their licensed medical providers online
[00:45:02] No, awkward visits to the doctor. You don't go to the doctor say doc might they get softer than fucking feta cheese
[00:45:11] I'm seeing Greek. Yeah, yeah, we're secret is a brand ambassador for Gore-Tex. She is yeah
[00:45:18] Well, I'll tell you what it is. It is right certainly not a chewable to get your dick hard
[00:45:21] Right, maybe she should be a brand ambassador for blue chew in fact. We'll say blue chew officially sponsored by a secret secret
[00:45:30] Sigurd soul bacrab who's a dating a Nikolai
[00:45:35] Professional skier from from sir. How the fuck did we start talking about this bitch?
[00:45:39] I don't know I looked up Michael go blue
[00:45:43] You thought that black kid actors name was Michael glue and then you found a British guy named Michael glue
[00:46:21] Euphon 60 nine on Twitter follow him on
[00:46:27] I said this buddy in I guarantee you he fucked secret already you think so probably that's a kind of shit
[00:46:33] You find that's random. He's like yeah fuck secret 13 years ago. Yeah, you know bathroom
[00:46:39] He fucking yeah, yeah, I fucked Lisa and yeah
[00:46:45] Did he no I know what it been all she was around like when I first be around yeah, I used to be I met her a couple times
[00:46:51] Yeah, I just missed her unfortunately you you missed your chance to nail paler. I would have loved to nail paler
[00:46:57] Just wait go to you go tiny. Yeah, they film the actors are a lot smaller like sington
[00:47:03] Steel's penis is actually three inches. Yeah, you know he's actually Chinese
[00:47:13] Like I'll you mean that she's like tall she's like a right right right right that's true anyway guys
[00:47:19] You go to bluetooth.com you talk to one of their licensed medical providers online in this in your own home
[00:47:24] And guess what no you don't have to go to the fucking pharmacy. They send it into screepe
[00:47:29] Scream-fag to your door your neighbors would be like what the hell is this what is this little brown and what is he a spy
[00:47:34] Getting a dossier. He might know what is this fucking James one?
[00:47:37] I should suck his cock cuz he's a spy and guess what it'll be hard hard hard
[00:47:43] It'll be hard it'll be hard it'll be hard. Oh, I just want to get my cock hard. I heard get you a cock-a-ha
[00:48:00] Two minds right really love to see where it goes, but that moment is also so beautiful
[00:48:07] In fact, I'm gonna encourage people to take that clip cut it off there and repost and try to get that viral was like
[00:48:14] Yeah, that's community I've ever seen yeah different variations on just just fuck. Yeah, dude
[00:48:22] Just make that like a very popular you go to bluetooth.com if you love sexy love
[00:48:26] You love sexual love you put in promo code come time
[00:48:29] Guess what guys you just pay the shipping and you get your first month free. That's right. You believe it
[00:48:35] You just pay five dollars for shipping and you get a hard cock for a month
[00:48:39] Keep going and keep giving them money if you don't if you want just one month of hard cock
[00:48:45] This is a really big thing somehow found a really bad cigarette of deep not even deep face
[00:48:52] Shallow fake people are making that dude. I guess she got famous. See cigarettes huge
[00:48:56] Dude cigarette, please come on the show. I will pop a chew before you're on
[00:49:04] Anyway, it's promo code come down or come town 20 for five dollars
[00:49:09] Just you just pay the shipping you get your first month free it changes your fucking life
[00:49:14] How many times do we have to fucking tell you this? Mm-hmm. That's awesome now in the cigarette people also search for there's somebody named
[00:49:29] Griff is the Griff the Chinese one. She's half Jamaican half Chinese according to this
[00:49:35] Wikipedia question that says what race New York Times see which brands won't quit Russia a
[00:49:42] Quick little boycott guide for people that still that's a sick combo dude have Chinese have Jeff have looking Jamaican
[00:49:49] You know there's a lot of Chinese people in Jamaica I one time and I was in one of my jobs out of college was I wrote like a
[00:49:57] I wrote pro like there's like a teacher of the Year Award in Montgomery County and somehow I like you won
[00:50:04] I know no I wrote I wrote the profiles for them
[00:50:07] That was my job and one of them was a lady called named like Miss Chin who's like her name was like
[00:50:13] I don't know whatever the fuck her name was Michelle chin or whatever and I go there expecting
[00:50:19] Say good getting deep peed they're getting deep people guys are in the background is beating off
[00:50:24] So it's Montgomery County and her name is like Michelle chin
[00:50:27] So I just assume it's gonna be like, you know, just a fucking Chinese American lady or whatever
[00:50:32] It was a white woman with a Jamaican accent
[00:50:36] It was a white lady that grew up in Jamaica who married a Chinese guy from Jamaica
[00:50:41] Wow, yeah, dude. It threw me the fuck off
[00:50:45] She had a Jamaican accent she was white and she her husband was a man
[00:50:50] It was my lady named here me now. I was trying to do a little bit of math. Yeah, I was
[00:50:55] I think she was a math teacher. I tell you one. I tell you a two. I tell you a tree
[00:50:59] She was either a math teacher or bio teacher. I forget
[00:51:02] But yeah, that's what I was like on my I was a little freelance writer
[00:51:05] You know, have you seen that video of that white kid that grew up in like China? Yes, of course in Singapore in Singapore. Yeah
[00:51:16] It's really good I grew up in Singapore
[00:51:19] Talks awesome. Yeah, he talks really good
[00:51:28] Mmm, there's Paul Dean. That's not Paul Dean. Did we sit promo code come town? Yeah
[00:51:40] 3 just pay the shipping get your dick harder than it's ever been in your fucking yeah, dude. That's awesome. She'll be your fucking penis
[00:52:06] How the Chinese influence to make him reggae this is good
[00:52:23] Charged a woman with murder for having a self-induced abortion. Yeah, that's fucked up good. It's like if you want to have abortion get out of Texas
[00:52:34] I say it's not good personally Star County Sheriff's office arrested 26-year-old Lizzelle Herrera on Thursday Lizzelle
[00:52:45] Damn that's that little motherfucker the wheelchair is acting a fool over there
[00:52:48] Who's that Richard? No, no the governor of Texas. Oh
[00:52:59] Dude remember who he plays in coach Carter. He plays coach Carter son
[00:53:03] Who goes to the private school on a basketball scholarship and he's like no I want to be coached by my dad
[00:53:09] So he quit he he D and lists for the private school without his parents knowing
[00:53:13] Mmm, and then signs after the public school. He just shows up and he shows up. He's like have you lost your day mind
[00:53:19] Right, you know he gets mad at him, right?
[00:53:22] But then he's like alright come join the team and everyone's like oh fancy boy from the from the private school
[00:53:29] You know, it's always funny about guys. He's also light skin guys in real chairs always
[00:53:33] Yeah, we said gay in the wheelchair. Huh? You know, I mean guys in wheelchairs
[00:53:37] I was like they always said gay because their legs are small. Yeah, how they sit gay. They're like
[00:53:43] I just don't think you should be allowed if if if you want trans people in schools, you know with
[00:53:51] Yeah, that's why they're being homophobic
[00:53:53] Yeah, cuz they're because their legs look so gay people
[00:53:56] Yeah, they should honestly they should make a movie like Dallas buyers club
[00:53:59] But it's just a guy that loses the use of his legs and he's sitting like that
[00:54:02] He's trying to go to his cowboy bars and they're like get the hell away from a fucking queer
[00:54:14] Sitting really gay club now sitting like a fucking look like a
[00:54:24] He's a little like my good friend. He's fucking handicapped
[00:54:30] The tech is open for business and clothes for abortion and you better do
[00:54:38] Yeah, Greg Abbak is suck my ball my little ball sack. Yeah, he's a loser my legs don't work
[00:54:49] Fuck yeah, he lost his legs managing a sunglasses
[00:55:11] This sums up with this issue. I'm gonna go take a nap after this. Yeah, I might I might have to pull a diaper on
[00:55:16] I feel sluggish now lay down in bed get the diaper on taking that fucking let nature take its course
[00:55:27] I'm either dude I've gotten into diaper now never taking a diaper
[00:55:30] I'm sorry put a diaper on it to hit a couple of poppers and then I fucking take it
[00:55:34] Also, I'll slay your ass cheeks fucking yeah
[00:55:36] Themselves up to fucking I keep a trash game right by the bed. No just wake up kick that shit open diaper off
[00:55:42] Right, you know, maybe wipe myself a bit pants back on go about my day. That's awesome. Yeah
[00:55:48] That's great cuz I hate having to lose a half-hour sleep to shit
[00:55:51] You got to get one of those trash cans with like the lid on it of course because you like keep the shit smell cuz yeah
[00:55:57] It smells fucking yeah, yeah, I tried doing I tried just leaving them like by the dirty clothes
[00:56:02] Yeah, the fucking you know the no that makes sense
[00:56:05] But you know that's trial and error the upstairs neighbor complain fucking three one one came out right
[00:56:11] They do a welfare check cuz they thought you know your parents were abusing it. Yeah, something like that
[00:56:17] No, I'm just trying to do a thing. I'm trying to do a nap. This is natural
[00:56:22] Just the here the we weren't meant to shit. Yeah, I'm like, okay, so when I do it
[00:56:27] It's it's a fucking municipal crime meanwhile the governor of Texas lives his life that way
[00:56:35] This guy's out there calling trans people freaks while he's literally shitting himself
[00:56:39] Shit himself all the time sitting like a princess, but I can't shit my own
[00:56:43] That's the craziest thing you see there
[00:56:45] I can't shit myself on my own bed of my own volition there with his tiny legs
[00:56:49] You know he's got a diaper on and he's like children shouldn't be exposed to men holding hands right
[00:56:55] Leash and be exposed to your legs than either chief. Yeah, you're disgusting
[00:56:59] And a lot of people saying like ableism it doesn't matter if you're taking shots a fascist ableism is never okay
[00:57:06] And my answer to those questions or those people is
[00:57:10] You're gonna have to speak up because I'm hard of hearing
[00:57:14] So little you know reverse on me very nice. I'm actually fucking deaf right and then they sign something to you
[00:57:21] You're like I didn't learn some language
[00:57:24] But just because I'm deaf I got an assigned language illiterate. What's next black people got a fried chicken
[00:57:30] That's not even close to the same thing
[00:57:36] You're bigoted ass you're bigoted fucking stereotypes about the death that they all know sign language
[00:57:45] Who's this guy? Oh? It's this guy. Oh, that's yeah. Yeah, he was he was the bodyguard in um
[00:57:56] a sitcom he plays maybe it's according to Jim is he
[00:58:02] You gotta use to be around always your wrestler. No, he looks like wrestling look
[00:58:07] Yeah, he had the ponytail. He was the blonde ponytail bodyguard in true romance. I love that movie dude great flick
[00:58:14] Do you don't Johnson is such a piece of ass. Yeah, Tony Soprano is great. He really is dude
[00:58:21] It's almost a little bit I get a little bit of good. Oh you sweet lot
[00:58:23] It almost it honestly just feels like young Tony Soprano like he's great
[00:58:28] I'm gonna make it hurt. I'm sorry, but I gotta fuck you remember that movie the Mexican do Tony doesn't do Tony voice
[00:58:33] Not Tony voice, but the character is like a mobster. You know nobody's not doing that
[00:58:38] Yeah, do you remember the Mexican but he doesn't do his own voice? I gotta suck you off
[00:58:42] He doesn't do his own voice either because his own voice is kind of like before good. I gotta put your penis in my mouth
[00:58:47] I gotta say fuck a piece. I just suck what now I gotta suck. Oh look at this guy
[00:58:57] I don't fucking know that one why these guys in a fucking wheelchair
[00:59:02] Get the fuck up out of that fucking shit get out of the fucking shit
[00:59:07] Get out of the fucking chair stand up like a man
[00:59:11] Stand up like a man stand up like a man. Oh
[00:59:16] Yeah, little legs the diner. Yeah the dumpster. That's the scariest thing in any movie ever
[00:59:27] Who fucklies day out. Yeah, this guy's scary. You know, it's really scary. What's that you suck in my dick?
[00:59:34] That's awesome. You know, you never see a Chinese guy in a wheelchair. They never I think you do. Yeah, they've never
[00:59:39] Why because they do Harakari they do seppuku seppuku. Yeah, all right guys
[00:59:47] So it's been a great episode of come town really that's awesome
[00:59:51] Fuck yeah, dude. Well in seven six five
[00:59:56] Dude this would flu. This is a great episode to shout out to Ian Friday. Thanks a lot. Oh, you're in