Cum Town | Regular | 06/02/2022
[00:00:00] Why are you echoing there? Is that stop it talk? Hello? It did stop it. Yeah
[00:00:08] Okay, let's get back to the so fuck this
[00:00:11] Which one is Adam check check he is I don't know three there you go that fix it should fix it
[00:00:17] Yeah, so folks this is kind of the companion piece to the premium we just literally recorded seconds
[00:00:23] We're gonna try and yeah, start rolling to immediately like not even you just stop stop stop stop
[00:00:28] So you're a Papa John you take a pizza home every night. Oh, yeah
[00:00:33] Yeah, because we're having a conversation about Adam said that you're gonna want to go to the patreon patreon
[00:00:37] I come come town to get a part one. We should start doing this. Yeah, yeah
[00:00:40] We do release part two for free. Yeah part one part one if you want to see how we got here
[00:00:46] Because I tell you literally 30 seconds ago. We were talking about the evolvedy shooting
[00:00:51] And now we've landed on is it normal to eat an entire large pizza
[00:00:55] I think it isn't by the way. It was a medium pizza, which has been covered. I did
[00:00:59] I've never gotten that's first of all that should call that shit a diet pizza. That's a diet
[00:01:05] Not a medium pizza. No, it was so small. That's I'm on my my weight watchers
[00:01:11] Yeah, I really it cuz Papa John's fucks you in a way that like a
[00:01:17] But Rameen Nazer used to have a bit about about how they call it a personal pizza. Yeah, you know
[00:01:23] Like I know the joke was like yeah going to pizza or whatever
[00:01:26] He's like can I get a personal pizza and they're like what do you want on it? He's like it's personal
[00:01:32] But it always thought after that's it. I always thought it was such a funny name for
[00:01:36] Repeat names or check him out. I don't even know if he does come check him out
[00:01:38] A part I had a joke that said any pizza can be a personal pizza if you're sad enough
[00:01:42] Which you know is true. Yeah, but you want fuck apart. No
[00:01:46] Another DC look honestly, we're part of a hilariously on a lot of people from that DC are doing
[00:01:57] You know what's funny? I remember cuz yeah, I mean I guess I like started with a partner to a certain extent but
[00:02:03] When I met her she got stung in the eye by a B
[00:02:07] That week so her and her fucking eye like mine look the other yeah, yeah, you just swelled up real bad
[00:02:12] And you know, I've known a part of her fucking 20 years
[00:02:15] Yeah, whenever I think of her my mental image wall that like fucked up
[00:02:20] I think that happened to her yeah the first time I I saw I didn't even meet her
[00:02:23] I was like an open mic or trying to get into comedy and I went to good old Kurt Schacklford's toe pass
[00:02:29] Yeah, and it was like her Hampton Seton fucking Nick Turner. Yeah Jason signs
[00:02:37] That's you doing you see better yet. I think so. Yeah, do you guys legs back? I don't know
[00:02:43] Hmm, but he looks better. I don't know yeah
[00:02:46] Was I gonna say but yeah anyway, whatever the point is back to the pop it's enough of a reminiscence
[00:02:51] And let's go back to the pop of John's point pop of John's Adam you're you're out of the you were out of the
[00:02:55] You were out of the I was shitting and by the way
[00:02:57] I was shitting and Adams Bath Adam decided to take shots at you and say that
[00:03:01] We're they could just cuz and by the way, you know why because he's not following the Golden Rule
[00:03:06] Yeah, he shits in your fucking apartment all the time. I have to because of an emergency
[00:03:11] Yeah, he's mad. I'm shitting and by the way, that's not gonna be the first shit of the day
[00:03:16] Yeah, we are he is gonna get a couple shits in his bathroom. Oh you you wonder look, you know me you know, I'm conniving
[00:03:24] Manipulative. Yeah, I'm always there's always a plan of course always a plan with yeah, and
[00:03:32] Sucks say I have I have everyone's best interests in mind. Yeah, you're the benevolent
[00:03:37] I see people the philosopher king, but at the end of the day
[00:03:42] There's a plan to make sure it works out for everybody ever beginning to serve pieces of pie right and I'll tell you this
[00:03:47] It's fucking Adam wants to do the show at his house now. Yep, you know me normally there'd be pushback to say of course
[00:03:53] Absurd we do it in my house. You got to bring the equipment over you didn't hear a word for me not word one not word one. Yeah, and I'll tell you why
[00:03:59] You notice that I was doing it here happens to coincide exactly with me finishing around the antibiotics
[00:04:07] It is a war zone in my gut right oh, yeah, and it will be for months
[00:04:13] Until this yogurt works out and if you think he takes bad shit, I might even he's not even the room now
[00:04:18] He's not I might literally fucking find the most expensive chair in here and just shit
[00:04:24] That's true you own one. Yes, you do own a shitted chair
[00:04:30] None of the good the good ones all there any bacteria
[00:04:33] Yeah, yeah, they've been sacrificed so that you're awesome. You wouldn't go blind. Yeah, right? Yeah now you got nothing
[00:04:43] That's what anyway, so you're in the bathroom
[00:04:44] So I was in the bathroom and you know what I will say he's got a nice setup. Yeah nice bathroom nicely decorated a lot of stuff
[00:04:51] Lot of good. I got to say this Adam knows how to live you got to upgrade your toilet paper Nick
[00:04:56] I don't shit at your place much, but Adam has you beat toilet paper wise. Yeah, you got the one ply you're living too
[00:05:04] He I will say pillowy toilet paper always been a one-plug out
[00:05:07] But you know my entire bathroom is disgusting. There's beard hair everywhere. I don't put cat piss on the floor
[00:05:14] Take a little note try and get a little the good life you deserve it anyway
[00:05:18] I'm shit and I would have liked a wet wipe doesn't Adam feel like the guy who would have wet wipes
[00:05:22] Yeah, you know I have to I've been using them on my I got special eye wipes and it feels like changing a baby
[00:05:29] I'm gonna wipe my fucking eyelids now your eyes like a little girls little babies pussy
[00:05:35] I said that on the show, but it's weird because it's like you know like you get you get old you get into your 30s
[00:05:39] everything just fucking falls apart and
[00:05:43] Like you know you're younger you're like yeah, you know you can't keep like
[00:05:47] There's certain you like obviously think like hangovers get worse of course you can't keep like partying the way you used to and it's like short
[00:05:54] Like that's out, but then there's all this other stuff like you gotta fucking wash your hands after you go to the bathroom
[00:06:04] What what I can't eat in the tire use the shit to shake off I can't shit particles like it was nothing literally
[00:06:11] Dude, I used to get like fucking eye infections all the time
[00:06:13] I feel like it would just you know my I would hurt for a couple days and then go away
[00:06:17] Yeah, you know and then it's like it's crazy you can in front here times. It's like I would have just died
[00:06:22] Yeah, you'd be so dead. I would have been dead for me. I dumb big ass. Hi. Yeah, you're casket
[00:06:27] Yeah, you look so stupid like the bat they hear the guy from what's when they're a video game with a little skeleton guide
[00:06:36] It's like a PlayStation game. It's not if one of us is gonna come with that. It's gonna be you yeah
[00:06:43] But anyway, I will say that shit did rocket out of my ass
[00:06:49] But you know it was an it was an overall good shooting experience, and I will say
[00:06:55] One pop of John's Pete is not too much Adam side of his mind. He's out his mind
[00:06:58] Yeah, I would say well he was just trying to take shots of you while you're gone well
[00:07:01] We'll wait we'll wait until he gets here to really yeah
[00:07:03] Yeah, I'll tell you what it is. He's got the confidence of coming off running to episodes himself
[00:07:08] He's like I don't need these guys. Yeah, I don't need these guys you fucking
[00:07:12] We turned me into the poo poo man. What do you think about just letting Adam do the podcast?
[00:07:17] I'd pitch that idea to him and he's like I don't think stop would like that. I'd love it
[00:07:21] Yeah, I love if in fact if you guys just want to do the podcast starting you know in a week
[00:07:27] You let me know dude. I told him I was like cuz he's you know he's like worried about what's gonna happen
[00:07:31] I already said it's like I'm built to fail baby. Yeah, you know, there's there you love it
[00:07:38] There's I don't love it. I'm a hated, but it's just you got you can't you can't deny your nature
[00:07:43] Yes, you can I'm like a little like I'm kind of some kind of like weird little bio luminescent
[00:07:48] Crete at the bottom of the ocean. I don't even I don't even know what daylight looks. Yeah
[00:07:53] I'm just got my little light and I can't help but
[00:07:56] But shine it. Yeah, see the dark path to the darkness know that it'll never be any different
[00:08:02] But yeah, no, he's like worried about what he's gonna do. I was like dude
[00:08:05] Well, just well, I literally will change the patreon patreon.com slash come down by the way slash come town
[00:08:12] Please buy tickets Portland the week after that weekend after that both a helium good nights Raleigh
[00:08:18] Club's great clubs go see it folks. Let's buy tickets also see the show carolines. I gotta start pushing carolines, too
[00:08:23] That's the weekend after that. Okay, I don't have a no idea how those tickets in there. So little so good
[00:08:28] Yeah, it's fucking New York City, babe. I now I just want to get this shit over with it's been so stressful trying to sell these tickets
[00:08:33] I just want the fucking the toilet be done. I can't wait for the tour to be out my to my fucking nine month long tour concludes in
[00:08:41] Philadelphia and Rhode Island, but more importantly than that this Sunday June 5th eight o'clock Eastern 5 Pacific
[00:08:48] My first special live at the lodge room full hour special. I think it actually clocks in at about 54 minutes
[00:08:56] But it's gonna be it's fucking it's out. I've worked very hard. I'm out. I'm out a nice amount of money
[00:09:03] Please watch it. I want and for those of you have seen my it's on my YouTube channel
[00:09:08] I post every day there. I post some fucking crowd work clips. This is all material for the most part
[00:09:13] There's maybe ten minutes of crowd work in there
[00:09:15] But for those of you who've been wanting to see actual thought it out jokes
[00:09:19] It will be actual thought it out jokes actual actual actual thought it out jokes
[00:09:25] That I that I done that I done planned just crushing with crowd work and being like anyways, where was I where was I oh?
[00:09:31] Right. How come they got two windows at the drive-through? Yeah
[00:09:39] Yeah, it's fucking assholes. I'm thinking about to get my food at the first window and now I want this one's for the fucking money
[00:09:46] And they got another one for what fucking suck it all selling crack in there
[00:09:50] You gotta fucking the money can't you're saying God can't exchange the money. It's too complicated now
[00:09:55] This is it and that just continues for 50 minutes
[00:09:59] Anyway, anybody here ever see their fucking grandfather's penis McFlurry. What the fuck is that?
[00:10:05] It's like they make it sound like a fucking snowstorm
[00:10:08] But it's fucking ice cream. It's ice cream with a little M&M's in them
[00:10:12] And why if who's supposed to be supposed to be called that why they fucking have a snowman on the fucking outside of God
[00:10:19] Anyway, there might be thought it out jokes June 5th
[00:10:22] I thought that jokes coming out there is actually a chunk of about Baltimore
[00:10:27] You might hear that voice on my debut special live at the lodge room go fucking watch that just stop recording your furious
[00:10:33] I mean you're like how dare you burn that material? That's the McFlurry is my dare
[00:10:39] How dare you burn the no, they're just gonna hear like to abrupt cuts
[00:10:43] Yeah, and it's like you going into that and then it's like so yeah, Adam. Why did you say pizza? I ate too much pizza?
[00:10:50] And then Adam just responds as Ian finance
[00:10:55] Yeah, no, I was telling him he's worried about you know the future
[00:10:57] I was like dude well look fucking December 31st 2022
[00:11:02] We changed the name of the the show to the Adam Friedland show and fucking that's what you get from now on
[00:11:10] It just I'll change the branding and it's Adam and you know he can keep it keep all the fucking money to himself
[00:11:17] You really don't want any of the money, huh?
[00:11:19] Well, if I'm not doing any I'm gonna eat my piece if I'm not doing any of the work now, you know me
[00:11:25] I'm that's that's that's my mentality. Yeah, that's you don't do the work. You don't get paid. I don't believe in I
[00:11:32] Don't believe in you built the show anyway, whatever Adam's like
[00:11:37] Show I'm not doing it. I'm not you know, I'm not doing it
[00:11:40] Well, that's very magnanimous of you Adam
[00:11:43] I'm a man of this that's the way the world should work. No, I'm not I'm
[00:11:47] I'm taking the hit because everybody else should Adam will have to pick kick up to me
[00:11:51] Yeah as part owner of the Adam Friedland show as executive producer. I will be needing my cut. What's your cut?
[00:11:58] I know where you start the negotiations
[00:12:01] Keep it keep my 75% 75% what do you think I'll come back with three?
[00:12:12] Yeah, the fucking Adam Friedland show that'll be awesome
[00:12:15] Damn he said he needed five. He's been gone for
[00:12:21] He's been gone for 12 minutes. That's all right. You know, we got what do we got three more minutes until the ad
[00:12:32] It happens all the time I would not worry about that unless it gets like hard and starts growing
[00:12:36] Then you got nothing to worry about okay good
[00:12:38] even if you find like sometimes you can get like a cyst or something and but like you know, it's yeah really but
[00:12:44] You should also mean you have insurance like go to the doctor. Yeah, I'm gonna go to the doctor get fixed up
[00:12:50] Has it been hurting for a while now just every once in a while get a nut pain
[00:12:54] Yeah, you know, honestly, it's probably just sitting the wrong way. Yeah having two heavy nuts
[00:12:58] Yeah, two heavy nuts threatening to rip out of my test to my ball sack at any moment when I switch over
[00:13:04] We had a I'm not gonna say because they didn't really up, but we have clothing sponsor
[00:13:08] Right, right, right. I've been wearing nothing but they're close and say send it
[00:13:12] But they don't really offer very much support. Mm-hmm. I had to get used to what my nuts hang nuts hang again
[00:13:19] And that's interesting my right now. I am wearing
[00:13:22] More hangy boxers and perhaps that's the good. Yeah, cuz it's like that I've been tugged on basically and it took my ride
[00:13:38] June 5th YouTube YouTube baby calm slash stop he baby. I'm stopping baby. Go do that shit go see us live
[00:13:47] And then buy Adams little t-shirts with his little paintings on them. Yeah, I don't know if I'll ever get this door back up
[00:13:53] I'm working with a print shot because they offered me like a shit deal kind of I'm sure you could find that deal itself was not bad
[00:13:59] It's just that I was like they wanted me to be locked into a contract for two years and it's like I got a room
[00:14:05] Yeah, I need the ability to get up and leave that's what I ran into with the last print shop
[00:14:09] It's like you can't like promises me nothing never never
[00:14:15] What's the fucking thing that you can't drop everything when you feel the heat around the corner heat?
[00:14:19] Yeah, that's what you got. That's that's how you got to treat the print shop. Yeah, by the way speaking of heat
[00:14:25] I saw a den of thieves you ever see that no oh
[00:14:28] I'm fucking scandalized. You have to see good. It's incredible. Maybe I'll Gerard Butler isn't
[00:14:36] Insanely good in this dude. He has that guy rules. He's a guy fucking a lot. He's a guy
[00:14:40] It was a shitty actor. Yep got hot one time one time and mostly for three hundred mostly was computers
[00:14:48] Keep that you being the fucking like computer nerd dork that has to make those guys
[00:14:52] Looking hotter and more busy. Yeah, you're just like you just clock out at your fucking CGI job and drive back to your fucking
[00:15:02] I'm gonna work for six are a studio apartment. Yeah, I'm gonna make stories that
[00:15:07] That inspired children you've been putting you've been putting fucking abs on some drunk
[00:15:14] Yeah, they can't look good. I'm removing his ball hairs. They keep slipping out of his you know
[00:15:19] And then you go back to studio city and you're fucking Toyota Tercelle
[00:15:24] In order another entire large pizza for yourself. I'll just recently purchased a used Toyota Tercelle awesome
[00:15:34] What kind I don't know I don't know what year I have no idea
[00:15:38] It's cute though, and it's funny because it's such a little car and he's the biggest motherfucker of all time
[00:15:42] He's just it is boy that laughs at everybody
[00:15:46] It's the boy who fucks, but yeah, you're our butler fucking rules
[00:15:50] Yeah, you know what this has inspired me to go into more of his filmography. Yeah, I think I'm gonna check out the
[00:15:56] Olympus has fallen you got to get into the romantic comedy stuff, you gotta watch PS. I love you. Is he in that? Yeah, awesome
[00:16:05] Law biting citizen might be the first one I check out that looks fucking sick. He's in that movie gamer
[00:16:10] Remember like the predecessor to ready player one. Yes. Yes. Yes ready penis
[00:16:20] But that's a really good one yeah, no, oh yeah, no he goes off
[00:16:25] He's sick Adam. Oh, you'll love it, dude. Oh, if you loved your our butler
[00:16:30] Yeah, this is honestly the the best your our butler performance. I'll tell you he's drunkish
[00:16:35] He's clearly like fucked up. He like cuz he plays a he plays obviously like a rogue dirty cop type guy
[00:16:42] Yeah, who's drunk who's like hard-living and like
[00:16:46] He clearly is getting food everything about him is just post-production. Yeah, he's this slovenly drunk fucking Scottish moral
[00:16:58] So he's bad in like the perfect way. Yeah, I mean and then he just gets like literate with 300
[00:17:05] It's like literally just through all these filters or whatever. I mean
[00:17:08] Yeah, because Zack Snyder is a closet homosexual. He looks awesome. They just fucking yeah like everything is just processed
[00:17:15] Actually, you know what I'll take that back Zack Snyder's not a closet homosexual
[00:17:18] Yeah, Zack is like Evan. Yeah where it's like just those muscle guys that love other guys bodies and they truly
[00:17:24] Had a sexual way. Yeah, I'm like that. Yeah, you're yeah, you and Evan probably were text each other guys with their shirts off
[00:17:37] But anyway, yes, so shout out to fucking jar brother shout out to fucking
[00:17:41] Den of thieves truly a fucking masterpiece. Yeah, anyways, you were in the bathroom
[00:17:46] Adam's taking shots saying large pizzas discussing and all I was saying is that when I worked at Papa John's
[00:17:50] Every day I'd make I make my cell large pizza take a couple extra garlic up
[00:17:55] Definitely take way too many of the pepper and cheese. Yes. Take that home hit the beer store get a sporty drinking entire large pizza
[00:18:04] Well, I was teenage I drank a lot of sane eyes and I think when I was older I switched over some a little more mild like called 45
[00:18:10] Old English. Yeah, yeah, we're from Mickey's guy. I've drank Mickey's been no
[00:18:15] I was never admit the only kind of 40 guy I was I did I'd like to say nides because they're the most alcohol
[00:18:21] Right, you know, right because I'd be honest the most of my 40 drinking is a teenager. Of course as an adult you kind of yeah
[00:18:28] That's embarrassing. Yeah, absolutely get a pair of tall boys instead. Of course like a gentleman. Yeah
[00:18:35] Yeah, I was a Cobra guy for a while that was my just because it looked still reserved
[00:18:41] I did still reserve is the one that would that was a little much for me so I most fucked up vomiting at parties happen because of steel reserve
[00:18:48] Yeah, cuz I think that was actually the the most alcoholic one
[00:18:53] The impression that same eyes was because it was disgusting same. I'd say it's like cat piss
[00:19:00] Nah dude, I fucking that's nice though. What kind of what was your toppings of choice?
[00:19:13] Favorite little sweet. Yeah, mr. Sweet something to balance out the same eyes. Yeah
[00:19:20] Yeah, Adam doesn't really know about track. I mean he he
[00:19:24] I'm curious to know what was the truth with the treat meal was at the Friedland household
[00:19:29] Yeah, you know me talk about McDonald's and by the way, I have the bag here. Yeah to check what time he ordered it. No perfect
[00:19:36] 851 a.m. This is so funny that he's like I need five minutes
[00:19:44] Episode is almost halfway over on he got a sausage egg biscuit a chocolate shake for breakfast
[00:19:55] Would have been nice to have been asked I forgot I had to look up the reads. Oh, yeah, what do we got today? Oh?
[00:20:14] I also have heartbreaking use what happened the
[00:20:17] Pizza Hut and Thundock is closed. Oh no, but there's a pizza hut now in bed. Stay
[00:20:27] Where's it a window operation? I don't know it's on it's on my liver just like what's the read?
[00:20:32] I don't know. I guess we'll do a free advertisement for the pizza hut
[00:20:36] And the free advertisement for the pizza I was on argue garbage recently
[00:20:40] I love those guys and we were taught we got heated about Domino's V Pizza Hut
[00:20:45] Well, they're different they're different things that's absurd because they're different I know it's not in the same category
[00:20:50] I know and my argument was the hot the highs of pizza hut will never be matched by Domino's it's like this so
[00:20:57] Subway blimpy same genre people try to do like subway versus Quiznos and it's like they're different types of restaurants
[00:21:03] They seem similar, but they're completely different. Yeah, you know subway blimpy
[00:21:08] Fuck I'm trying to think of other sandwich places. It's not
[00:21:11] Jimmy John's Jimmy John is sort of there, but quiz noses and like their whole thing
[00:21:16] It's not like you don't go to quiz. There's a lot more. Let me get this. Let me get that like you fucking me like these are the sandwich
[00:21:22] Which those don't fuck around yeah, they know yeah, and pop pizza that same thing. It's a sit-down restaurant
[00:21:29] Papa John's Domino's gaddies God the fuck is gaddies gaddies is was another chain
[00:21:34] They're all built on the same model of like I will say Pizza Hut. I believe made a pivot towards
[00:21:40] Being more of a fast food place, but at the same time I just think they're crusts or our next level situation
[00:21:46] Yeah, although apparently they switch to frozen
[00:21:49] So I'm look I'm interested to check out with my book on my bookie my bookie that folks my bookie
[00:21:56] Dopenas if you want to bet on the NBA finals
[00:22:00] Which by the way, that's the only way to watch these finals because it's Celtics versus Warriors two of the fucking
[00:22:06] Just truly I mean, how do you root for either one of those fucking teams the the fucking Celtics
[00:22:13] Asterisk after asterisk the net suck dick then that's no we had no one
[00:22:19] K re Kairi and KD played like shit. Yannes was by look
[00:22:24] Middleton's in that series I read more like I get a refund. I get a refund on that contract, you know
[00:22:30] Middle the middleton was out with middleton the Bucks beat the fucking bitch
[00:22:33] I sell ticks every fucking day of the week and then they face a Miami heat team Tyler hero is out Kyle Lowry is a shell of
[00:22:40] Himself, they're starting fucking they're starting fucking maksh
[00:22:58] Second people sucking these Celtics off their fucking lucky cocksuckers same thing with the Warriors
[00:23:04] They've faced the nuggets that have been missing their two best fucking players all fucking season
[00:23:08] You can bet on this my baby and you can bet on all this by this is all on my bookie
[00:23:12] Daddy I'm looking at a junior premier sports betting
[00:23:15] sexual website it's you get your dick hard and the Warriors then John Maranquis hurt
[00:23:24] That was the one part team. They were gonna have to face Chris Paul fucking melts down
[00:23:29] Devin Booker shows himself to be a bit of a fraud here. He's gonna have to prove himself in playoffs of the future
[00:23:38] That's ahead of schedule that unless Lucas playing heroically is not gonna fucking beat the Warriors
[00:23:44] The the Warriors get a lucky fucking path to the finals the Celtics got a lucky path to the finals
[00:23:50] We got to fro they should call this the NBA fraudinals
[00:23:54] Not the finals the fraudinals. Yeah, and either but and they're San Francisco can suck my dick Boston is a dog shit
[00:24:04] Firm all of these beliefs by betting on these games and so to watch these games you're gonna have to bet you're gonna have to bet
[00:24:10] You're gonna have to bet because there's no there's no rooting in million dollar prop bets. We got million dollar props
[00:24:15] They got prop bets. They got the super spread they got Jason Taylor. You can bet Jason Taim Shavus penis or not
[00:24:21] You can bet on all that in my bookie. Daddyg the premier only still legal and in business
[00:24:27] Sports betting website that is still advertising on New York podcast right and we that the only ones left not getting all their money from Peter
[00:24:37] That's the thing people are like people are like this week not gonna go into it
[00:24:40] But fucking to say oh, they're all funded by Peter Teal money
[00:24:44] If Peter Teal is listening, I will absolutely do that sell us the sell us you give me fucking ten million dollars
[00:24:52] Petey I will fucking we will do one more year this show every day say that student loan debt is the responsibility of who you know
[00:25:00] Whatever. Let's say fuck student loan debt forgiveness fuck health care. Whatever dumb psycho bullshit. You want us to say?
[00:25:07] Done 10 million. It's gotta be a fat check telling me yeah 10 10 million minimum for me
[00:25:12] You probably want 10 easy 10 million also Adam will do it for 30 grand Adam
[00:25:20] Adam just wants another bar mitzvah frankly
[00:25:27] You get him a clown you get him a DJ pulling fucking ignition remix. Yeah, you know he's good
[00:25:33] He's good. He's set he's good on that, but we will take that how dare you fund the red scare before you fund this show
[00:25:39] You funding those dumb I have no idea. I have no idea. I don't I frankly I don't even really know who Peter Teal is
[00:25:46] Well, the thing is any fucking gay loser loves that show and that's who Peter Teal is yeah
[00:25:52] He's a fucking weird self-hating gay guy
[00:25:54] So of course he likes that and if he wants to pay us to not say these things we won't say him
[00:25:58] We'll say he's cool and he gets pussy. Yeah, I'll say and then you know
[00:26:02] Peter Teal we'll put you back in the closet
[00:26:04] We'll fucking stuff your ass back in there. Yeah, that I saw you getting pussy in a completely organic way
[00:26:12] Right, I won't even bring it up. We'll let enough time pass where people won't remember this. Yeah, I'll call you the master
[00:26:17] Pussy getting yeah, I'll say I fucked the girl who fucked you and she said your dick was awesome
[00:26:22] And you made her fucking splooge over and over again, and that you're really not gay and not evil
[00:26:28] Yeah, I'll say all that stuff. I literally would do anything anything
[00:26:32] Yeah, and what I would do to have an escape from this that guarantees that me and the people I care about are taking care
[00:26:38] And you can bet on that at my bookie that age my bookie that age you use promo code come town or
[00:26:48] You throw good come down you get some nice a nice little offer there is some good shit to bet on
[00:26:54] I'm not gonna lie the NBA fight betting on basketball is fun. Yeah
[00:26:58] Football still far away baseball regular season
[00:27:00] I mean you do got to be a little bit of a degenerate to be betting on regular season baseball
[00:27:05] But hey, I'm sure some of you just your wives just left you something to keep the pain away
[00:27:10] Yeah, you can just go race rats somewhere. Yeah, listen formula one
[00:27:14] Everyone's getting into that shit cuz that Netflix show you can bet on that bet on whatever the fun bet on whether
[00:27:20] Louis Hamilton is getting pussy tonight or not
[00:27:33] Fuck it bet on it fucking spent all your money guaranteed
[00:27:41] Guaranteed the win you will win if you bet and if you don't win
[00:27:45] That's your fault you did something wrong
[00:27:47] But it does have the guarantee and you get a nice little amount of fucking they match something they give you a little bonus
[00:27:53] Bonus look go fucking bet there. Mm-hmm
[00:28:01] And fucking bet you know what you're gonna bet with a fucking bookie and get your legs broken by some fucking
[00:28:11] Mm-hmm. Go to my bookie that a G my bookie that a G. There's some cool guys over there
[00:28:17] Um, okay, I think we did the read what do you think Adam is doing? I have no idea
[00:28:23] But what could he possibly be doing for this long? This is absurd. It's crazy
[00:28:28] And he could be like hey, I'll call you in 40 like I think we're going to take it
[00:28:32] We're not gonna do three in a row. We're gonna take a break probably get a little lunch while you know my guts are pretty fucked up
[00:28:37] Yeah, I kind of just want to coffee. We'll roll in number four. I'm good with that, bro
[00:28:42] Maybe I'll get some toast. It's a beautiful day
[00:28:44] I don't know if we can we did the allergy corner yet. We talk about it
[00:28:48] Did you take any allergy medicine cuz when you walked in here today your eyes were leaking now that I'm back and inside the air
[00:28:54] Conditioner, it's a little bit better. You do look better, but when you fucking came here
[00:28:57] When you you text in the thread you're like is anybody else out just bad?
[00:29:00] I thought you're being dramatic and then you came in here eyes looking pinker than fucking
[00:29:05] Fresh pussy. Mm-hmm nose drooling like Adam's asshole when it smells a big dick. Yeah, but now
[00:29:12] You look better. It is good my allergies always come across with cough. I was I was a big coughing kid
[00:29:20] And then I started taking Claire and I believe that for Zertec
[00:29:27] But I used to pretend I had like a chronic condition trying to get out of school because my allergies were so bad
[00:29:32] It worked honestly really you got out of school for allergies
[00:29:36] Well, I was coughing like crazy and then they took me to a bunch of specialists and they're like yeah
[00:29:41] I think your son is a fucking con artist
[00:29:45] It was kind of sick actually that's awesome. I got out like I've never had a I've never had a
[00:29:52] Look a gut did the allergy test. Yeah, it took a big ass allergy test. I really wasn't allergic to shit
[00:29:58] Except like you know regular seasonal allergies, but I had a week had a week as little bitch ass lungs growing up
[00:30:05] I had asthma and then I had they were very affected by
[00:30:07] They're very affected by allergies to the point where I was honestly non-stop coughing unless I took Zertec or Clarity or whatever
[00:30:16] But before they knew that dude. I was I was doing it up trying to get out of school. Yeah, I was like I'm sick and
[00:30:23] And there's no anyone that called in a bomb threat ever. I thought that was awesome now to be that bold
[00:30:29] I never did I knew a kid who pulled the fire alarm. That was also awesome. I was sick
[00:30:34] He got it literally expelled those guys those guys think they end up in like bad kid Valhalla
[00:30:39] 100% it the kids that the kids are like second grade did like the teachers like sit down in your seat and they're like fuck you
[00:30:53] Somebody's getting beat at your house, right? I'm like over here. She's putting glue on the desk
[00:30:57] Yeah, I'm breaking the rules putting a drawing a smiley face. Yeah, right. Yeah writing in the book
[00:31:03] Yeah, right drawing a little dick in the book. Yeah, right exactly like if anyone saw me
[00:31:16] No, but yeah, the fuck you to the teacher kid just fucking blasting that and then leaving the school
[00:31:25] 9-year-old goes to McDonald's by himself
[00:31:29] It's like gives the principal a finger and just fucking yeah has a fucking fool not even a happy meal get some stuff
[00:31:35] I'm a chicken fucking heroes dude awesome. Yeah, and all those guys. I mean they go to jail
[00:31:51] Getting getting pussy to completion and having like a son
[00:31:54] I'm having like a 19 year old girl the first time they ever come is just into a pussy. Yeah, yeah
[00:32:14] They let the one kid I was in the fucking little I was in the little smart class like they would just pick five
[00:32:20] Five people that weren't retarded. Yeah, and put them in the actually we were actually next a special ed
[00:32:26] It was you know, you know the fucking little fucking whatever was called gate
[00:32:32] But one kid was so bad that they took him out of regular and just like let him play Oregon Trail
[00:32:37] Yeah in our little where we had we had the want we literally had three computers in my fucking broke ass school
[00:32:43] Shout out to John Gura elementary school damn. I think I broke out of the chair good
[00:32:46] What kind of computers were they were fuck it? They were the ones with like the little green shit
[00:32:51] Yeah, but do you remember what they were were they Apple twos?
[00:32:54] No, but I remember that the printer literally had that like
[00:32:57] No, they ever printed that the little fucking the dot the circles on the sides. Yeah never printer had that really yeah
[00:33:04] Yeah, they all had they're all spooled that way
[00:33:07] But anyway, they let this fucking kid just play or in the one new computer
[00:33:11] You got to just play Oregon Trail if he didn't say a curse word or try or hit a teacher
[00:33:16] I was like what the fuck I remember being I remember being in third-gramp being like wait a second
[00:33:20] This cocksucker just doesn't throw a chair and he gets to play video games all the time. That they weren't quite that old
[00:33:27] They were probably a generation after that. No, okay. This is probably 95
[00:33:33] You know 96 I'm seven wait so like that maybe yes. Yes. Yes exactly actually really close to that kind of thing. Yeah
[00:33:41] And the one we were allowed to plan was just text based games. There was no like yeah, there's like you know there was no
[00:33:49] Fuckin like little Austin you could shoot Austin used to have oh, you know what I did too
[00:33:55] I said, I don't know if I'll get a response
[00:33:56] But you know cuz the show is ending at the end of the year
[00:33:59] I sent an email to the office of like curatorial services or whatever at the American history museum seeing if we could donate the
[00:34:07] Soundboard and the recording equipment that would be fucking awesome that would be
[00:34:15] Take it out like you know 220 20s podcasting
[00:34:19] It's like the soundboard from come town. It's just next to Archie bonkers chair
[00:34:24] That'd be amazing dude that picture they took of us outside of funny mom. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah come town
[00:34:31] That sounds bad. Well, it was it was it was we didn't even read the email
[00:34:36] Yeah, it went right to the trash and when right in the garbage the soundboard is in the garbage. Of course we're not accepting it
[00:34:44] But so you just said that someone is going to offer to pay you for fifty thousand dollars for it
[00:34:49] I hope so the Peter Teal can fucking buy it. Yeah, you know straight
[00:34:54] Good guy. I'll tell you when I was a little kid. Mm-hmm. I would go to the American history museum
[00:34:59] You ever have you ever been there? Yeah, dude. You go there before
[00:35:06] Mm-hmm. That was like the best museum in the country
[00:35:08] Yeah, close it for a long time to renovate it and they'd like took more they just took shit out of it
[00:35:14] That's renovated and didn't anything they used to have like an information age exhibit that was like awesome
[00:35:20] I had like fucking like you know like old like tube fucking let's say computers
[00:35:26] I'm always fascinated by those gigantic computers that have like less power than like a fucking tomagotchi
[00:35:32] Yeah, they were like going to space with yeah, it's like insane
[00:35:36] Well, that's because like the what the technology was is like like the you know like on a
[00:35:41] Processor you have all these like little like the electron gates that function is like transistors basically
[00:35:47] This was a gone off ones. You know bits are but it used to be like a fucking actual like tube
[00:35:51] Yeah, yeah, so something that was like this big that's pretty is now like microscopic
[00:35:56] Yeah, you know, so that's why that was like so went from my dick to your dick
[00:35:59] And if you're looking back at history, yes, yeah if we're talking about like we're going yeah
[00:36:07] But we're looking at starts. No, we're looking at starts my dick. We're in the early computers
[00:36:12] We're looking at retrospect current computers early in a sense that we're looking back in history
[00:36:17] So we're yes, we're looking at it from starting at history and going to today
[00:36:22] Historically they started at my dick big tubes and now they're at your dick little microchips
[00:36:28] And you said yes earlier and you can't take it back. No
[00:36:34] If we're saying if we're saying it's it's like that then it which it is and we are saying that because it is like that line is
[00:36:41] Sort of it's more powerful. It is powerful, but it's so tiny. It's it's funded by dark money
[00:36:50] And it's so big that it is not big that that's this the first time traded everybody's life. No and every aspect of society
[00:36:59] No, so you can't go anywhere without people are scared of it people if there's a force
[00:37:03] They're scared of it because it's your goddamn right. It's too small because it's penetrated every aspect
[00:37:07] You can barely wake up in the morning and it is kind of like in your face
[00:37:11] It is kind of like the internet and computers because it has penetrated life
[00:37:14] But you don't really feel it. Yeah, cuz it's so it's kind of just out
[00:37:17] ethereal yeah, whereas like I said my dick is a big
[00:37:31] Fuck damn dude my ass is on fire, but I am hungry the fat man's dilemma
[00:37:37] Eat more and continue to shit painfully. That's or
[00:37:41] Don't eat anything maybe get a kombucha. Maybe get a fucking water flush my stomach out
[00:37:50] I'm pretty sure I have hemorrhoids. I've never really I just my asshole hurts and that must be what that is
[00:37:56] Mm-hmm cuz I was straining for hours last night. Yeah off that and for everyone that wants to know what I ate to make
[00:38:03] Me shit like this part one is coming out Sunday. Yeah, this is kind of like memento
[00:38:09] It is like memento. We're gonna start podcasting like memento in fact
[00:38:13] It's a lot like memento cuz Nick wrote I am not gay on his arm
[00:38:17] Don't suck that guy's dick no matter how much he says he's your boy. I love to get all this
[00:38:24] You do not have a boyfriend don't suck Maurice's dick
[00:38:36] Yeah, Maurice is a great name who just who figured out your disability and tricks you one out of every three
[00:38:50] You're the bottom many times I have to tell you this look look at this polaroid of you sucking my dick
[00:38:57] Wait a minute is that a gun to my head? No
[00:39:12] Minute how long of Adam needing five minutes this is this is honestly, it's truly hilarious
[00:39:17] We're about to do the second read down a second
[00:39:21] Mm-hmm whatever man, it's honestly nice because it does feel like five minutes. That's true
[00:39:26] This thing breezes by when Adam's not here
[00:39:31] And he needs a break he needs to prepare he's in he's in his office furiously writing bits
[00:39:52] Your dick is like computers and it's an original Adam Friedland thought T.M. Oh
[00:39:59] Fuck maybe I'm a bagel with just butter. That's cool. You know, I hope my eyesight goes back to normal soon
[00:40:06] What's wrong with it man? You get like yeah up close. I'll get like double vision
[00:40:09] Mmm interesting, but yeah, I don't know I got no I guess I have to go back to the ophthalmologist at some point
[00:40:15] But yeah, it was just like fucking twitch all the how long do you have are you done?
[00:40:19] I into my audience in the box you're done now. Yeah, nice. All right, so they're still they get they told me I have to go back
[00:40:25] Or so I get a bunch of scar tissue. They're gonna cut out damn you're about to have fucking eyelid surgery. Yeah
[00:40:34] But I don't know who was told me he did that he went to a plastic surgeon though. Really? Yeah
[00:40:39] Why what happened he's got that he's he just gets like horrific skies and really yeah a bunch of like a bunch of
[00:40:46] He was like yeah, I did get like wipes cuz I got like shitty Puerto Rican shitty eyes
[00:40:57] Ridgewall it oh our friends are back our homies over it ridge wallet
[00:41:05] The condoms that you use for her pleasure
[00:41:08] Raged ridged for her pleasure. If you ever want to drive a girl wild put one of those titanium
[00:41:18] Raged for her pleasure. Mm-hmm a great company started by a father and son. I mean that's Americana folks
[00:41:25] You know they started a small they had a plan they had an idea and now they're millionaires together. Isn't that beautiful?
[00:41:31] I love my Ridge wallet. It's a great wallet. I
[00:41:39] The case phone case one. I like the little bag. It's my little day bag
[00:41:45] Whenever I'm on a little you know, I'm the I'm the 10,000 step bastard. I'm trying to get back to fitness slowly by walking again and
[00:41:54] You know actually you know what I'm around the 15,000 step bastard. I'm not quite 20 because my fucking fat feet hurt
[00:42:00] And I soak those bitches sometimes but I'm the 15,000 step bastard and when I'm running around Queens doing errands and
[00:42:08] Every once in a while. I want to keep my keys
[00:42:12] Somewhere I want to fucking you know, maybe I pop into a shop
[00:42:16] I buy a little pre-cut pineapple as a little snack while I watch NBA playoff basketball. I
[00:42:22] Have the Ridge backpack. They're not just wallets folks. They got backpacks. They got little knives
[00:42:27] Mmm. What else they got a whole fucking line of shit
[00:42:33] Probably those hooks or those like carabiners shit
[00:42:40] I'm trying to remember if they have a promo code and I see the come town or come town 20
[00:42:44] Let's take a look at the website. Let's fucking take a look
[00:42:55] That's the that's the that's the fucking secret line if you go to Ridge pussy
[00:43:04] Right off their website. Oh and look it's a father's day. No, it's father's day
[00:43:09] Others they go hard on Father's Day. That's I was wondering Mike's they place their ads
[00:43:13] I guess people buy these for their dads, which you should which you should you know what?
[00:43:16] I might get one for my dad. Yeah, they got travel. They got key cases. They got every day carry
[00:43:20] You want from my dad's I can put a zero dollars in it
[00:43:25] Panera we could all do that for our dad's Panera fucking loyalty card
[00:43:37] That's cool for AIDS. Yeah, which I use that was my one of my first uh, one of my first cell phones was the red razor
[00:43:45] The Motorola red razor fucking awesome. Honestly. Yeah, they got the red one or our original durable coating
[00:43:52] Let's see while it's back key cases. That's pretty cool. That's like I do like that a lot actually. I might go key case
[00:43:58] Yeah, I got too many fucking keys. Oh, you got your you're on your janitor shit
[00:44:03] Well, I think there's three keys to my apartment at my car keys. That's way too many
[00:44:08] I have two facilities that I frequent that require the gasex auditorium
[00:44:12] Yeah, the bathhouse and the gasex auditorium. Yeah, you know my name about me and my facilities
[00:44:20] And I like these key keys. These are fucking you. I haven't seen these in a while every day carry
[00:44:24] That's gonna be these guns the problem the problem with these with dishes. I have fat keys
[00:44:29] I have that you know that you're but I'm sure they work for those two folks. Mm-hmm. I'm sure they work for those
[00:44:37] That's really nice actually because it feels like a knife, but it's just keys. Yeah, which is awesome
[00:44:45] And they got they got little fucking packs. Do you want your fucking daily driver kit?
[00:44:50] And they got you can match your keys to your wallet like a cute little bitch
[00:44:58] You can write out all your you can write out your fucking enemies list. Yeah, the ridge fucking pen
[00:45:03] And then you could fucking I would love that
[00:45:07] Although I'm too old for an enemies list at this point
[00:45:10] Richard Nixon had one. He's older than you. Yeah fucking killed him. That's true. That is true. I think I died young
[00:45:17] Young it is funny that he just had like a whole life after being a disgraced president
[00:45:21] Yeah, like he was like I saw like a picture of old ass nixon hang with like the jets
[00:45:28] Honestly, I would love to hang out with the disgraced Richard Nixon. Well, he didn't he died like 93
[00:45:32] He was older than my dick dude. He was older shit nixon death
[00:45:37] I wonder what his wife died. You think he was getting pussy at it like in like 89 when he was 89
[00:45:45] That's fucking how old was he? I don't know. I remember him dying though
[00:45:49] You know, yeah when I was a kid. Yeah, I don't remember Nixon at all dude
[00:45:56] Richard m Nixon 37th president dies in 81
[00:45:59] Okay, he looks fucking old. Yeah, he's Joe Biden's age
[00:46:05] Joey B. Yeah, okay, so he died in 94 when did his wife die
[00:46:15] 93 so he had a year of getting pussy probably a year of getting pussy for sure
[00:46:25] Viagra had had it come out of 94 was that 96?
[00:46:30] No, that was because bob dole is a guy remember yeah, but yeah, exactly
[00:46:35] Viagra, I think you're right 96. That'd be funny. That's a year you know 98
[00:46:41] Oh wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, they patented in 96 it came out in 98
[00:46:46] So he's okay. So maybe nixon was was just getting
[00:46:51] Maybe he was just getting his dick son. Yeah, his limp old dick son
[00:46:54] This is truly wild whatever he's going on that he's yeah, what is going on with him?
[00:46:58] Yeah, maybe something bad happened. I don't know and I'm not rooting for it
[00:47:02] Yeah, but it's possible. I can I already have to piss again because I drank all that water. Well good
[00:47:07] Because of my damn allergies. Can I yeah?
[00:47:12] So, okay, let's read about pat Nixon here folks
[00:47:16] Honestly, not that big of a piece of ass if I'm gonna be honest with you
[00:47:22] Look Jackie on ass people talk about hers being really hot. I I always felt her eyes there was something weird about her eyes
[00:47:28] But let me let me look at pat Nixon young
[00:47:31] Because I'm seeing her at 80. That's not that's not when the pussy's ripe. Obviously we all know that
[00:47:41] I'm gonna be honest pat Nixon could honestly could never get it her face is too fucked up. She's got a long jaw
[00:47:52] I don't really like I'm not a chin guy when it comes to getting pussy. I don't want that shit jutting out
[00:47:58] I mean, I suppose it's a case-by-case basis
[00:48:01] Yeah, dude even even when they're really young
[00:48:03] Nixon looks hot this bitch is looking. I mean not hot, but it looks good
[00:48:08] She's looking fucked up honestly. She looks like the mask
[00:48:11] And their baby looks fat as fuck honestly, which is cute. I like a fat baby
[00:48:17] Okay, so yeah the younger pictures of her look even oh the profiles horrendous
[00:48:22] This bitches looking like fucking the like the moon. She looks like Jay Leno. She looks like bananas and pajamas
[00:48:33] Let's see what lady bird johnson looked like when she was young was she was she fuckable?
[00:48:39] You know what's his face? Um linden you know linden was slinging cock and he had a big-ass dick oof
[00:48:47] Lady bird kind of looks she honestly looks a little like linden
[00:48:55] These bitches were trash now. I see why everybody did want to fuck jackio
[00:49:06] It was just like an era shift. She brought us into slightly fuckable
[00:49:12] It's like, you know how you watch you watch um
[00:49:15] Uh footage from the mba in the 80s and it's like
[00:49:20] No one is that good in today's been the modern era
[00:49:24] So lady bird was a fucking dog. I'm going through a president first ladies and see first ladies
[00:49:32] Shane Gillis just did this with the president. Oh, really? They went through and they said what they could remember
[00:49:36] I don't know. Shane told me that Shane told me that they did that on a six-hour podcast
[00:49:41] I said can you imagine the kind of psycho that would listen to a six-hour
[00:49:49] To be I mean, but that's gotta be that's gotta be the of all the types of podcast listeners
[00:49:54] The guy that's gonna sit down and strap in for six hours of president history. Yeah with
[00:50:04] Oh, that's a strange guy. Yeah, but you know what if you stretch it out over a while doesn't sound so bad
[00:50:12] Anyway, that's not what I'm doing. I'm going through whose fuck which first ladies are fuckable
[00:50:25] Reagan's wife obviously was superhead jimmy carter. Let's look at jimmy carters bitch
[00:50:36] Leshonda Carter Rosalind that would be awesome. Yeah. Yeah, he says a big fat black lady. Yeah
[00:50:45] She was all right better than the other two bitches. I'll tell you that much. Yeah, you know
[00:50:49] I never understood it's like it whole like Kennedy Camelot thing. It's like both Kennedy and Jackie and assas are ugly people
[00:50:56] Yeah, but that's what I'm saying compared to these bitches. She was hot. I will say
[00:51:01] Like her immediate predecessors. No she could kind of get even though there was something off about her eyes
[00:51:08] Yeah, I both the Kennedy had fucked up eyes
[00:51:12] He's like wall. I dude he had one eye all bugged out when all the other plays didn't he get his ass
[00:51:17] That happened from being at war or whatever his be it back pain for more gotcha
[00:51:22] So looking private he's always like, oh, yeah, I gotta sit down on the uh, I can't you gotta get on top
[00:51:55] He's like who gave me this copy why did why is this this is not German
[00:52:09] I'm gonna write it. That's really good. Yeah, this is giving me strong dick must bust vod
[00:52:14] Dick must bust. I don't know even what that just walking around Montreal boss boss dick
[00:52:21] It was Nixon, but I forget it was like we were looking at like Nixon campaign shit while walking around Montreal
[00:52:26] Interesting we came up with dick must bust dick must motherfucking bust
[00:52:29] I swear to god if at this point he tries to sit down and get on that would be funny if he if he does though Adam
[00:52:43] It's gonna be some bullshit. See what's gonna be a phone call about like the exterminator not coming tomorrow
[00:52:50] No, it's he was supposed to come tomorrow
[00:52:52] Something must I'm gonna give him the benefit of that it is funny to be in Adam's apartment
[00:52:57] He's in he's in here. No, he's not. Oh he left he left. Yeah, I thought he was in the back
[00:53:01] There's the bedroom taking a phone call. I mean, I just walk by there. He's not in there. Is the door open?
[00:53:06] It looks closed. Is it closed? It's closed. He's in there. I think it's cracked open when I walk by the piss
[00:53:12] I think well, you know, I don't really know who tates cookies
[00:53:17] Is there anything in there? No, but I'm thinking
[00:53:21] Oh, yeah, I can't yet. I know I'm sorry. My ass is
[00:53:26] Can you act what kind of unopened I thought it was open? I know but like what kind of world do you live in?
[00:53:33] He opened the tapes, but not the Doritos that you can have this much beef jerky sitting out
[00:53:40] He's he came back early from his long weekend to do the pot. Oh, this is some road snacks
[00:53:44] I think it's road snacks, but I also think it's just
[00:53:47] No, no girlfriend snacks just a boy's night. He comes in
[00:53:52] Watches basketball, but he doesn't even crack the Doritos. Mm-hmm. You know, it really hurts
[00:53:57] The whole reason I got that Papa John's pizza is because what I really wanted was a little cool ranch Dorito
[00:54:04] Could not not my grocery store not at my bodega not at the other boat. Oh, you went to three places
[00:54:09] What the three places for cool ranch Doritos?
[00:54:11] It's all within one block, you know grocery store around the boat that cross from the bodega
[00:54:16] You're right. You're like you're picking something up for your pregnant wife
[00:54:22] Did I also have just you did I also have breakfast cereal in my backpack? Yes
[00:54:26] That I bought from the grocery store. Look I had it. I was told you I had a depressive episode
[00:54:31] I needed to fucking you know, I needed to feel good
[00:54:36] Couldn't find them anywhere. What do we see here?
[00:54:43] I mean, it's like Adam's mocking me by not even cracking them open. This piece jerky's pretty good. Oh, yeah
[00:54:49] That's real uh dressed down. Is this person chewy?
[00:54:59] It's kind of shit you can always any of her every all over the country
[00:55:03] There's a guy that has a local business making his own beef jerky and taking it to the gas stations in the air. It's true
[00:55:23] Welcome closing up that pepper. Yeah pepper got me. Oh clean you out, man. Well, I'm following how you're fucking in. Yeah, that's a good jerky. That's
[00:55:36] Old trapper. Yeah peppered beef jerky since 1969 naturally smoked. Yeah
[00:55:45] Old trapper smoked products, ink forest grove, Oregon
[00:55:52] Well, I guess that's where he was in this a small local company. It's owned by a chinese. Yeah
[00:56:05] Um, yeah, we're really fun. We got a war with chime. Well, we have any products. Nah, dude
[00:56:09] We're so fucked nothing like a handful of shit from the other Asian country. This country is going down
[00:56:16] Like I'm sure everyone felt has felt that way in different parts of history, but
[00:56:25] Fucking a school shooting every fucking day
[00:56:27] Everyone's there. No one can get fucked. The economy is about to just fucking completely
[00:56:32] Gonna grader and everyone knows. Yeah, literally everyone knows that we're facing like a once in a lifetime
[00:56:39] Horrific catastrophic economic event. It's gonna be like, you know, it's gonna be the great depression
[00:56:45] You'll be that bad people won't be able to afford food. There's probably gonna I said it before
[00:56:49] There's probably gonna be like a big energy crisis this summer fucking weeks without power
[00:56:56] That's gonna cause that's gonna cause like riots and shit
[00:56:59] We're probably what a month away from that and when it doesn't happen. It's because they knew I was on to it
[00:57:10] Oh, yeah, the speculator genius is logged on. He's on to our plans
[00:57:14] He's gonna short the power grid. Yeah, that's what happened. You know, I'll be on another's but I was queuing on
[00:57:22] Your JFK jr. Yeah, and if you look lined up all the queue drops they end abruptly right when my girlfriend cheated on me
[00:57:32] A lot of people don't know that a lot of people know that yeah, that is in fact the truth. Yeah
[00:57:37] That's what happened is I was humiliated and I was like I couldn't do my art anymore
[00:57:41] Yeah, I was like fucking I'll just send all these people into capital smart
[00:57:46] And if you see there's a guy in the vents in a guy fox mask. Yeah, that was Nick. Yeah
[00:57:55] What are we out here a minute wise 57? Oh beautiful. I know
[00:58:05] I wonder what's going on. I'm telling you I know him. It's gonna be bullshit. Probably it's gonna be it's at least something that could have waited one hour. Yeah
[00:58:17] Let's begin a nice long three-minute wind down. Yeah, the cat in the hat live action movie never saw it. Did you see it?
[00:58:26] I remember I remember like, you know like every child. I love dr. Seuss and then every live action attempt they had like great was good
[00:58:32] I didn't see the Grinch Grinch is good, but I'm like what the fuck is it? Jim carries a cartoon
[00:58:38] Mike Myers is not cartoonish. He's his own thing. Yeah, it was weird like he wasn't the cat in the hat
[00:58:43] Mm-hmm. I believe Rosie O'Donnell did a cat in the hat broad waist thing
[00:58:49] I remember because as you know as a child that was a big Rosie O'Donnell Rosie hold on
[00:58:56] Um, you said all that shit about team sports earlier and I'm like fuck. I wish there was an option for that. It doesn't really exist in an adult
[00:59:03] It's tough. I mean you can play like rec league shit. Yeah, but a lot of I feel like a lot of those people are
[00:59:14] Yeah, I know man. I just feel like uh like what I'm saying is I want to ghost this summer
[00:59:18] I'm gonna go work out with my brother. Yeah, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna find a gym and just shoot basketballs
[00:59:23] Yeah, just because that's what I used to do when I was 14. It was the best time of my life
[00:59:26] Yeah, wasn't worried about getting pussy. Yeah pussy was nowhere to be found. Yeah
[00:59:31] Just hanging out with the boys. Yeah shooting some hoops. Yeah, I was playing middle school basketball
[00:59:36] I had been yet to be cut from the high school through a 14 in middle school or whatever 13 whatever age
[00:59:41] I was in eighth grade. How old are you in eighth grade 12 13? Yeah, whatever. That's the year
[00:59:47] And it was just going out hanging out with all the fucking degenerates from greek down fat bill
[00:59:58] Chinese bill with a china. I wish we had a chinese bill
[01:00:01] That would have been awesome if all my friends were named bill
[01:00:04] I'll tell you what folks you can hear about all of this on next week's premium. That's true