Cum Town | Regular | 01/26/2017
[00:00:07] uh... it is wednesday january thirty-fifth
[00:00:16] uh... did we were what we replace the anthony kumia studio the black lives
[00:00:29] about minimum wage folks hell yeah calluses on your hand from opening in
[00:00:35] you know that's a that's a real billy jole
[00:00:38] like a black billy jole experience black billy jole
[00:00:45] you can tell me billy jole isn't what he has the n-word pass actually is one of
[00:00:49] the floor is he said it publicly no probably
[00:00:52] really i love it i love it i love it i love i love it one of those do like old
[00:00:56] white singer songwriters it writes nothing about like the blue collar white
[00:00:59] experience wrote a song about being like a poor black person
[00:01:06] now just like a billy jole song about yeah if he covered uh... was that was a
[00:01:12] they covered the boys in the hood yeah boys in the hood yeah really jole doing
[00:01:26] and girl she's never been railed out by a Jew from long island
[00:01:31] and now she's getting fucked for the first time
[00:01:41] billy jole doesn't work in the hero is on jole fucks good
[00:01:45] well i don't know i don't know why ugliest daughter came out i think it's a little
[00:01:57] who's uh... journey through cutting herself has been well documented in the
[00:02:01] it's going to be awful she's had such a terrible life
[00:02:06] it's a billy jose daughter who's tribute to her through his music is
[00:02:09] naming a fucking boat after other than the other daughters struggle with their
[00:02:13] weight is like i'm a rutasong after you
[00:02:19] that's the no any time dinner was ready to be like
[00:02:24] did you know it's a lot of isn't a mom christie brinkley yeah
[00:02:29] she's she's a she she sings like christie brinkley and she looks like
[00:02:36] uh... uh... billy joles like boxing injuries
[00:02:40] his facial features like cauliflower he's a he was a boxer yeah i think so
[00:02:49] like i like to be extremely talented we talk to you
[00:02:52] all the what do you listen to the jose amazing
[00:02:56] what if you know there's a manger you come again to jole there's a manager in
[00:03:00] nineteen seventy two is like i got an act for you guys okay
[00:03:03] earlier than that dude billy jose been making music since nineteen three
[00:03:07] so sorry i left shark tank on the background i was trying to get
[00:03:10] this is what i do is i get business ideas from shark
[00:03:16] i'm gonna be a father-son team trying to get on qvc
[00:03:19] you guys want to go shark tank we picked come down to shark tank yeah of course
[00:03:22] like we just go we just basically talk and we say uh...
[00:03:27] damett will give you three percent for five hundred million dollars and we
[00:03:32] make better deals with everyone else right this was just for the
[00:03:36] what's the worst ideas to get money on the show i love that it's a guy that
[00:03:39] comes on his eye god this is basically it's uh...
[00:03:42] it's basically a new suit and breathing apparatus for firefighters this is
[00:03:45] estimated to save like millions of lives a year and they're like this is the
[00:03:51] and the next guys i go it's fucking uh... you know like googly eyes you can
[00:03:56] and mark you've been like uh... eighty billion dollars
[00:04:03] uh... yes because all these people make trash
[00:04:06] yet all dumb shit woman just makes you see the c
[00:04:08] she makes tiny furniture for your jewelry
[00:04:11] that's like which you mean it is off of mark you've been has the maverick's
[00:04:14] what is it would he he likes tole money from the internet he's a tech yeah he's
[00:04:20] yeah and everyone else is that fucking fact Canadian gay guy
[00:04:23] uh... uh... kevita larry mister wonderful yeah he's a piece of shit
[00:04:29] yeah i think he's running for parliament in canada or like he wants to be
[00:04:35] makes deals with people to the people get canadian money
[00:04:57] i get it's called it is called lunice and tunes and then it's a show called
[00:05:06] because motherfucker alright well i'm gonna give you that joke i'll give you
[00:05:12] a twelve on the back and i just want to go around shark tank deals all the time
[00:05:17] let's write on the bus when we talk about something before
[00:05:21] uh... nik hasn't been talking about billy joll
[00:05:23] right yes oh yeah i do have an idea of my business idea but we require
[00:05:28] licensing shit from you know dc and i can't do that now
[00:05:32] yet you can't just say of my idea can't be like all batman stuff
[00:05:39] then the art yesterday is then we can say his last name because he's worried
[00:05:45] it's a it's fine benjamin franklin he's in his bullets so you can say it you
[00:05:50] his name's benjamin franklin's that's your issues here i thought i had a good
[00:05:55] it's not not to offend you guys notice it's not actually been drifus
[00:05:58] now who's been drifus he's uh... piece of shit will just leave it blueie he's
[00:06:03] let's drive is uh... what's his name son yeah
[00:06:17] what's up are you uncomfortable without no no you can say it i was more it's just
[00:06:23] yeah it's just like you know shamed of the show i'm ashamed of the machine
[00:06:26] the show i had come by by the way my man my man's been on from day one i'm a i'm
[00:06:31] uh... real die hard i often have to uh... close the window as people walk by
[00:06:38] but then's got his own brand that's predates come town is very successful
[00:06:45] when city bros so we'll just endorse that or plug it
[00:06:48] yeah that was the first time i've read that i
[00:06:52] seven thousand dollars they put me on uh... yet ben made me have my t tv debut i
[00:06:57] was on adults when for one second oh yeah that's right you
[00:07:01] in the back of the was uh... a youtube video i aired at four a m i think i
[00:07:05] gave you the credit when i give you the credits to fat stupid com
[00:07:10] stupid that everyone else i caught one cop too it's it's just the uh... fat
[00:07:14] stupid dramatic i think i hate the better time slot
[00:07:22] wait you say you've been on it you were on adults went for two seconds or yet
[00:07:26] any other tv credits i'm gonna be on i f c for actually a good amount of time
[00:07:31] at late at night the incredibly fat and i think that's it
[00:07:38] that's actually what it is is the is fucking cool channel
[00:07:45] anyway so yeah benny's here he's visiting or actually get a big fat stake
[00:07:51] uh... we're going to be here in lugar we literally are going to be really
[00:07:54] i can't remember that i can i come mid-resis for two men this means
[00:07:58] things now man alright so me and nicker and ago we can get steaks next time
[00:08:03] together guys whatever to do some other cool ship i want i don't want to get
[00:08:07] steaks with the other one of the bad and caged with a celsius here is after
[00:08:10] this and what about inviting you ever come on
[00:08:13] never said i have a thing with my friend before yeah
[00:08:16] that's not fair it's totally i want to come to celsius here you're not allowed
[00:08:23] friends were allowed to be friends with each other know what else
[00:08:27] that definitely was you didn't eat any of our songs did you of course not okay
[00:08:32] that we're we're watching better brother's last night and there's a
[00:08:37] scene you know i've lost plays drill instructor Ross yeah yeah
[00:08:44] you have to do better is he company not she's a bad right
[00:09:00] yeah this is the end where they're all running up the mountain is like
[00:09:02] we're running curry again and they fucking run up the mountain
[00:09:06] and uh... and then they all start singing a song and then Ross just looks all
[00:09:09] dejected because he didn't learn the song
[00:09:12] all the army boys with a song without me
[00:09:19] i have a phone crazy been anything since david schwimmer yeah i think he's like
[00:09:23] old hollywood money he's like a neverly hills high school kid do you see yeah
[00:09:34] yeah what he's a and has a trapper keeper at home filled with pictures of
[00:09:37] david schwimmer it's a lisa frank and trapper keeper and it's uh... yeah i'm
[00:09:45] he's getting bullied in middle school for ross being your favorite character yeah
[00:09:50] josey's the best joey's tight he's in he fucks
[00:09:54] i do like joey for that reason actually now that i think about it israeli cousins
[00:09:57] would always a adam you're such a chandelier
[00:10:03] jane was so gay basically all of them are trash
[00:10:06] no there was the snarky he's in fox josey's good he's just done
[00:10:11] that's his whole character his characters that he's retarded right
[00:10:14] he eats it for his not retarded is italian
[00:10:20] this is when you could just be dumb and let be laughed at for the other
[00:10:24] that was a one-way fun and dumb now it's a medical condition yeah i miss dumb
[00:10:29] and be cool and one of this guy's shark tank ideas just hot women
[00:10:35] i would just love to be like it's women you pay to fuck
[00:10:40] this is like i've got my cousin and she'll fuck anyone i think i thought i'd
[00:10:44] couple of chippies i told the story already on the podcast but i was in
[00:10:47] community college i took like a marketing class
[00:10:50] there's these two yeah that's two dudes that were like basically the ideas is
[00:10:54] a twenty four hour beer weed and cigarettes deliveries
[00:11:01] now they're probably like twenty five okay
[00:11:03] which makes it worse even you're twenty five years old and you're still like
[00:11:07] yeah we need to incorporate weed into my homework assignments being
[00:11:11] yeah dude i love fucking smoke like making a bomb in ceramics ceramics
[00:11:15] class trying to get that's actually tight did you ever do that could you
[00:11:19] everybody did that i didn't do it but people did it all the time
[00:11:25] is rather a long and get fucked up yeah i guess so high
[00:11:29] hell yeah hell yeah let's go i love making bongs out of fucking trash
[00:11:33] that's what g-bongs are you just like yeah you just put an old milk
[00:11:36] milk carton in a in a bathtub you use anything to get rate bottles
[00:11:41] any rate bottles what's the dumbest shit you've ever smoked out of
[00:11:44] uh we an altoid tin probably hell yeah dude
[00:11:48] yeah we used to make pipes out of just like
[00:11:50] tens remember the pinns yeah tin foil the china is basically j and then it's like
[00:11:56] you know i mean you fucking you make dumb shit out of dumb shit and then you
[00:12:00] want like the biggest prizes for your ramen and Doritos
[00:12:05] right right you're dreaming it when you're like
[00:12:09] kids when you're like in elementary school that's smoked
[00:12:12] everything's like smoked away too early yeah those kids are like eight that
[00:12:15] were smoking you're like no what are you talking about
[00:12:18] really and fucking Montgomery county i like one or two
[00:12:22] crazy yeah i mean definitely because it's smoked cigarettes
[00:12:25] and he smoked with cigarettes they were dudes like dropping acid and
[00:12:28] fucking in like seventh grade at my school you went to like a little old
[00:12:33] it was hillbilly though it was hillbilly yeah you went to hillbilly school right
[00:12:36] there were kids fucking in my seventh grade i remember hearing about it
[00:12:39] and just being absolutely shocked dude exactly i was in gym i got a
[00:12:43] sir i remember not sad at afraid i remember exactly what happened i was in
[00:12:47] gym we just played basketballs feeling good about myself and there's just
[00:12:50] like fucking black kids on the side this one can have this awesome afro
[00:12:53] and they're literally just like making fun of some girl because they all
[00:12:56] fucked her and they're like and they're like oh shut up y'all and now just like
[00:13:00] they're like yeah she sucked my dick i was like what the fuck
[00:13:02] and i'm like heaves dropping like hey yo he listening and they just made fun of
[00:13:06] me i was like huh i just left in a huff because i was so
[00:13:09] fucking scared i remember he touched me listening to them
[00:13:12] fucking talking about fucking i remember two kids fuck the summer after
[00:13:15] sixth grade and i steal to this day i remember their first and last name both
[00:13:19] of them and say him right now did you watch no say them right now
[00:13:23] no i'm not gonna say the first name it was a kid named Elden and a girl
[00:13:27] named Alicia and now their last names uh the last uh Alicia Keys
[00:13:32] Elden Baylor Elden Campbell the old center for the Los Angeles Lakers
[00:13:37] okay yes Elden Brand. Elden Brand. When i was a kid i was going through my
[00:13:41] mom's uh underwear drawer camera i was looking for oh i
[00:13:44] were the one the second one but i found i know the underwear jar i
[00:13:48] found uh what i thought was a condom and i freaked out but it was just like
[00:13:52] one of those one of those eggs legs you know those like oh yeah
[00:13:57] this is plastic but i was such an idiot that i thought how old were you
[00:14:01] a condom was like a plastic egg that you put over your dick
[00:14:05] that you melt over your head like fruit i think i was probably seven
[00:14:10] did your mom fuck yeah we found my my friend's mom's vibrator one time i
[00:14:15] don't know why we were going through their shit but he found his i was
[00:14:18] watching him pull the vibrator out of her like nightstand and his mom was
[00:14:22] so hot and he's like what the fuck is this and he was like no
[00:14:29] he was like arfyed and we were like yes i was in your mom's pussy let me smell
[00:14:34] it it's like get out everyone get out right now
[00:14:40] that is an emergency yeah freaking with the hot moms she's like
[00:14:43] she's like zac why is there a bunch of saliva all over my vibrator
[00:14:47] oh my friends were over yeah why does this smell like gushish yeah
[00:15:14] manager at a pizza restaurant i worked at and uh he told me this story he was
[00:15:20] like when he was in junior high him and his friend would put socks over each
[00:15:24] other's dick and then jack each other off and he's like no that's not yet
[00:15:28] he's like it's not gay because there's socks involved
[00:15:31] that's uh no that just makes it gay with a foot vet
[00:15:35] development that's so much gay or actually if you do that if you if two guys
[00:15:39] drink each other off but they're both thinking about women that's called
[00:15:42] parallel sex you know what me and my friends do is we get those uh
[00:15:47] those like really those those sticks that have the dinosaur head on the top
[00:15:52] that you know you have to buy it if you make it bite with it along and then we
[00:15:55] jerk each other off from a distance yeah that's totally what i do is i climb
[00:15:59] into one of those claw machines at dave and bustle yeah you guys have to
[00:16:03] get the claw right over my dick and pull it up and it's not gay dude you
[00:16:06] because it's so hard to do yeah it's just so difficult
[00:16:10] so it's an accomplice you remember that thing
[00:16:12] okay we get one of those is a fucking pocket pussy
[00:16:17] i really that's actually a minigame in the next maria poggin
[00:16:21] i really think you guys should do uh one where you're around a table and you're
[00:16:24] all jacking off under the table like well you're coming down while you're
[00:16:27] trying to have that's i'm pretty sure that's what texas hold him is
[00:16:30] i never played but based on the name no that that's true yeah you go all in
[00:16:34] that's when you just come in everyone else's mouth yeah
[00:16:37] do you remember that thing the stranger which was like if you sit on your hand
[00:16:40] course and then it goes down there someone else is off on the bus well yeah
[00:16:43] that's cool yeah you go outside and you find a stranger you find a stranger
[00:16:46] yeah you suck as any fudge in the ass like you
[00:16:55] the thing is you don't even feel that thumbs don't i gave a thumbs up
[00:17:02] did you ever stranger yourself no i could never get it to work i was just
[00:17:06] good enough of my imagination to pretend that i would you know yeah
[00:17:10] see i would just normally go numb anytime i had an erection
[00:17:14] i'm sort of in flashbacks and then i would pass out emotionally
[00:17:17] yeah i'd get my ass in relation i would black out and then you know
[00:17:22] wake up you had just such high blood pressures of kid
[00:17:25] i was thinking you got an erection you just ate
[00:17:28] cheetos and slim gyms yeah oh man just pay us tony soprano
[00:17:33] i one time after i watched road trip i don't know if i told this story
[00:17:42] oh man you know why that's so funny is because you already look like a pumpkin
[00:17:52] you just made yourself a jackalanner yeah i lit it at the end
[00:17:56] just vlogging around whenever there's a black and i'm like i could do this mom
[00:18:00] i know a trick the jack you lanterning yeah
[00:18:04] yeah there we go um but yeah jack off lantern
[00:18:09] it just hurt my ass i didn't like it too much that's weird
[00:18:12] yeah you didn't love it you got to like the kid why did you do that
[00:18:15] because stiffler put stuff in his ass and he beets and he gets
[00:18:18] stiffler to like you no i wanted to come i wanted to come the way
[00:18:22] he's doing it because i wanted stiffler from road trip to like no
[00:18:25] wait stiffler from road trip i came hard as shit in road trip they'll be great if
[00:18:29] that was like one of those like uh uh preteen epidemics that the local
[00:18:33] news cover and it's like this movie is dangerous
[00:18:36] routines are shoving candles in their asses and the paraffin wax melts and
[00:18:40] they're getting paraffin poisoning you know it's funny
[00:18:42] i fucking i didn't even realize how important the movie road trip was to
[00:18:46] me beating off as a young child the first time i ever beat off i was
[00:18:50] thinking about the fat black woman yeah from road trip i think i told the
[00:18:53] story wait the the she was like a stand-up what's
[00:18:56] their name was no not lu nell jones yeah no you stop jacks off to lezla
[00:19:02] john no no i don't but i've got to be the only person
[00:19:05] stops attractive to be off to the only person i can come thinking about is
[00:19:08] Leslie jones yeah just screaming no it was a fucking it was a
[00:19:12] sexy fat black girl from road trip the guy that the one the nerd fox
[00:19:17] you remember that in like the black for i don't remember road trip i love
[00:19:20] road trip at all i beat up remember you're road trip more than i remember you
[00:19:24] road trip oh road trip was uh tom green oh yeah yeah
[00:19:27] with his mouth is that boston austin confusion yes yes yes yeah i
[00:19:31] remember that movie now bossing really makes a tape of him and there's so
[00:19:35] many fake elements in those movies right right right people are always
[00:19:38] recording things yeah green's movement it was before you could just text the
[00:19:42] fucking sex tape yeah you guys seen friday got fingered recently no it's a
[00:19:46] masterpiece it was a great movie it's incredible it's very good i i
[00:19:50] really thought that it wasn't it was going to be one of those movies that i
[00:19:52] liked when i was younger that was just retarded when i grew you know get
[00:19:55] old like a lot of movies are like that but yeah it is
[00:19:59] it i cannot believe they got money from a studio to make that yeah it's really
[00:20:03] you know it's just i can't say that they meant like
[00:20:06] getting fingered was literally getting fingered oh yeah i watch
[00:20:10] i was like oh wow yeah i didn't get in the title yeah you endo
[00:20:14] yeah i mean it really gets fucked in his mouth in
[00:20:17] parentheses by a penis yeah all those comedy movies they would release the
[00:20:25] movie then they would release like the special un un-rated edition there's
[00:20:29] more titties yeah yeah the director's cut there's a lot of seriously go back and
[00:20:35] check out roach there's plenty of titties i would like to see if that
[00:20:39] feel i want to watch the scene that i first beat off i want to watch
[00:20:41] forgetting sarah marshall but with 95 more penis yeah
[00:20:45] a special un-rated director she's got a nice spouse and they made
[00:20:49] comedies like feature comedy feature is like there were like a bunch that came
[00:20:54] out every year i still do that nobody just nobody
[00:20:56] watches no one wants sully dude that movie was hilarious yeah if you see
[00:20:59] that yeah that she was so fucking then can you edit this can you
[00:21:04] take sully the movie yeah and put in the monster from monster zing
[00:21:08] absolutely yeah just replace replay in every scene
[00:21:12] yes bands good at computers and she can do that
[00:21:16] i mean that you guys are yeah i know we might already report shit was so
[00:21:20] funny that i keep my pants i think about that for
[00:21:24] time that shit is so that was real check out wimps city they're funny we added
[00:21:27] us a second ending to it where robbie edited himself into uh
[00:21:32] when harry met sally just the orgasming saying
[00:21:35] and all it does is he just it just like cuts it's like a cutaway to him like
[00:21:39] looking like confused and then just keeps cutting back to him
[00:21:43] and he's yeah is he in the restaurant you shoot in cats
[00:21:47] um or do you know i know it's green screen he just
[00:21:50] he did it really shitty but yeah part of the judge so good i always wanted to
[00:21:54] do like redo that scene but it's a woman actually
[00:21:56] trying to fake a realistic or rather yeah because she has like the most
[00:22:00] shampoo commercial orgasm in that fucking scene yeah and he's supposed to be like
[00:22:05] wow i guess they really can fake orgas right right right it's got there's
[00:22:08] gotta be grunting and blinking weird fuck oh yeah
[00:22:12] that was the thing i guess i think we mentioned that on another
[00:22:15] thing so well you did i know i listen to every episode
[00:22:18] honestly just let me just ask me whenever i fucking whenever i don't know if we
[00:22:23] talked about something i go to ben immediately
[00:22:26] ben is the the might maybe one of the foremost cum historians true
[00:22:30] it's true i remember it all um of all time
[00:22:33] so there's fuck there's a there's a tweet going around right now
[00:22:37] and we're showing us hate mail no it's it's a it's a nice
[00:22:41] tweet about cum town i get it are we live right now guys
[00:22:44] please do me a favor don't ever mention the podcast on twitter even in a positive
[00:22:48] context because i'll find a way to feel bad about it
[00:22:51] now fuck Nick fuck what Nick says protect Nick's feelings yeah
[00:22:54] that's that's why i do this we need to mobilize all of this is supposed to be a
[00:22:57] safe space internet is supposed to be a safe space
[00:23:01] yeah um stormfront is supposed to be a safe space for people like me
[00:23:07] and then you i'm gonna go i'm gonna go on stormfront and complain about that
[00:23:10] i'm gonna post for a couple weeks and as soon as i'm in criticizes my
[00:23:13] friend my friend magg's playing about how it's supposed to be a safe space for
[00:23:16] white men my friend max is the criticism
[00:23:19] that's not good how dare you say that just
[00:23:26] plastic you're smiling is the reason i'm like shit
[00:23:32] what do you guys think of my powerful white body
[00:23:40] my friend was sending me screenshots of like the boards on stormfront but like
[00:23:45] having the dudes having just the most in name conversations there was like a
[00:23:49] uh thread about the weather yeah one of them's like yeah i like it when it's
[00:23:53] hot but i also like it when it's cold like i went to
[00:23:55] florida it was too hot for me but then i just went in the pool and then it was
[00:23:59] okay it's just like oh my favorite my favorite
[00:24:02] stormfront ever was somebody went to see like either the golden compass or like
[00:24:06] one of those narnia movies yeah it was one of those bullshit fantasy movies that
[00:24:10] came out like 2009 and there was one guy that was like you
[00:24:13] know i was really enjoying it until that and then i don't want to i mean it's
[00:24:17] it's hard our n-word he's like until the goddamn n-word centaurs showed up
[00:24:24] he knows this big gripe with the movie is they made the centaurs black
[00:24:27] and he's like this liberal hollywood bullshit i'm just trying to watch an
[00:24:34] and fairies i was on a message board or like a naughty message because i just
[00:24:39] always am yeah i'm the admin but half of the forms for bald men are
[00:24:43] nachi yeah no it's true and uh they have great tips about cutting your hair
[00:24:47] you know it's anyone on pro-pisha can i just get a bunch of tiny swastikas
[00:24:52] tattooed on my scalp until it looks like hair but they were talking about
[00:24:56] simpsons and trying to disfigure out whether or not it was okay to watch it
[00:25:00] because they're like they're yellow chinese yeah well they're yellow but i
[00:25:03] think that i think that means they're just white but i can't but
[00:25:07] what do they do about leney and carl leney's the black one right no leney's the
[00:25:10] white one carl's the carl's the black one i always confuse them yeah because the
[00:25:14] white one goes kao yeah true yeah yeah what do they what do they do about carl
[00:25:19] i i don't i think they probably hate crime um yeah carl
[00:25:22] lu and then i think those are the only black characters oh no sorry dr
[00:25:26] hibber's bleeding guns murphy yeah there's plenty of there's plenty of poc
[00:25:30] representation on yeah on the simpson that hilarious
[00:25:34] yeah carl lewins technically is kind of like problematic it's so funny how
[00:25:39] racist is that's a problem i do no no no no
[00:25:43] it's a white dude then he's just grandfather then i know
[00:25:47] yeah no one can criticize hankazaria it's tough also the the chinese doctor
[00:25:52] or whatever or what is that doctor dr nick yeah dr he's like eastern european
[00:25:57] yeah i thought it's fair game you can do i think one with his European
[00:26:02] okay good fuck out in alpania the mexican fuck alpania fuck eldest yeah the
[00:26:05] mexican b that's based on like this lobster character or something that was
[00:26:09] on one of those like mexican division yeah
[00:26:12] univision is the most racist like if a white person was behind that it would be
[00:26:17] the biggest it would be a hate crime yeah it's so far it's just mexicans and big
[00:26:22] big fake fake titties which yeah i don't understand how that's racist
[00:26:26] oh it's a channel for mexican people produced in mexico but they're like
[00:26:30] they have like they're like you're just watching something diverse and you're
[00:26:33] like this is the most racist yeah yeah yeah
[00:26:35] do you know it's like it's so racist they look like they all are in like mexican
[00:26:39] face like every woman is just like it feels racist to watch it i don't know
[00:26:44] that's what i'm saying anybody gonna say anything here or no we're all
[00:26:48] waiting to go to the bathroom i gotta piss real fucking bad now i just
[00:26:51] went in there you just can't wait oh he's getting coffee
[00:26:55] well that's why that's the problem yeah i can't wait
[00:26:58] she can go away i mean bale just chaff with it that's fine seconds
[00:27:01] nah i'll stay here so uh i've been watching a shi-ton of
[00:27:06] what i like to call the entomans donut goatee sogol era films yeah we watch
[00:27:12] from last night anything post-2000 let me check off
[00:27:16] sogol probably 2011 or 12 okay the last four years of
[00:27:20] sogol movies and he's never been like uh
[00:27:25] particularly an active guy but you know like undersea jerry he's in good shape
[00:27:30] he's in no he's in above the law first of all people don't realize about
[00:27:33] sogol is it when above the law came out he was already like 34 years old right
[00:27:38] he wasn't a young guy so his first movie he was already you know
[00:27:41] like getting on and you can see his hair lines fucked up in that movie yeah
[00:27:45] it's all like thin you know in the front and then in hard to kill his hair lines
[00:27:50] fixed and you know uh he's a little bit fatter and he just got progressively
[00:27:55] fatter through throughout his entire career
[00:27:58] come on it's part of the fucking podcast amber
[00:28:02] sorry yeah that was back in the day when you didn't have to be cut yeah
[00:28:05] well now he's 65 years old and he's in his 60s
[00:28:11] his body sucks he's still making movies where he's like we need to send our
[00:28:14] best special forces out there and then he spends half the movie in a chair
[00:28:18] you know it refuses to get up so we watched last night uh sniper
[00:28:22] special ops and they there's no colon it's sniper special op
[00:28:26] that's because it's because the tom baringer sniper series are not
[00:28:30] related to sniper special ops and he does maybe five seconds of sniping in
[00:28:34] him it's right in the beginning he refuses to take his sunglasses off while
[00:28:39] looking through the sniper rifle so he's wearing these dumb fucking like
[00:28:43] snowboarding sunglasses while like looking down this rifle and then when
[00:28:47] they show the enemies in the reticle they're like
[00:28:50] five feet away they're taking up the entire scope
[00:28:54] so he's probably you know like 10 five feet away from these guys so awesome
[00:29:02] first you say he refuses to take it off you're saying you think steven segull
[00:29:06] the actor yeah is like no absolutely not i'm not getting out of this chair i'm
[00:29:09] not taking on yes 100 i guarantee that's what it is yeah
[00:29:12] because the thing about all these movies is they're all produced by uh
[00:29:15] steam roller productions which he owns what that's like a chinese oh god
[00:29:19] steven segull's company owns it with some uh like an adhesion guy or something
[00:29:23] yes like when you were gonna rest trying to have to wait on the owner of the
[00:29:26] restaurant yeah yeah um so you know all these people
[00:29:29] then he brings all these fucking old fox out of retirement so it's like you know
[00:29:33] like rob van winkle like dying wrestlers but yeah it's all like uh
[00:29:36] retired them really yeah yeah so check this out and sniper special ops you know
[00:29:42] it's rvd rvds yeah it's sniper special ops he's like
[00:29:46] lingo guy i love it he's yeah he's playing like uh you know they're part of
[00:29:50] like this like special ops team and they're all like in the the minimum age is
[00:29:55] 51 years and they're in like afghanistan somewhere of course
[00:30:00] and then they show their commander who's a major and because it wouldn't make
[00:30:05] sense yeah he's a colonel and it wouldn't make sense if he was like you know
[00:30:09] their age so they have like an 87 year old man
[00:30:14] in article that's really a crap old man he's performing his act
[00:30:19] well i don't know if we can get up that mountain by sunrise
[00:30:25] i had a divide and rods tells me there's gold in them hills you know and
[00:30:31] it just doesn't make any sense yeah yeah it's so i mean sogol is like he's
[00:30:35] literally puts such minimum effort into the action like the way he fires the
[00:30:40] gun is like i can't even describe it like just sort of like the podcast yeah
[00:30:44] he's just like limperistically fire the guy's like not even looking where he
[00:30:48] shooting at no there's uh is one scene in sniper special ops where he's
[00:30:52] working some radio and he's just sort of lazily pointing the gun at the window
[00:30:56] next to him in case anyone comes because it's understood that he never
[00:31:01] really has to aim the gun oh yeah his partner also gets shot at it
[00:31:06] he needs to drag him away it's clear that he's like connected to like some sort
[00:31:10] of wire yeah like you see him pulling but guys
[00:31:13] oh she's like literally he's just touching his shoulders
[00:31:16] yeah and then the fucking body moves across the ground as to all the time
[00:31:24] oh i'm so jealous i literally almost peed my pants yeah
[00:31:29] i haven't anything anything post 2012 is like this and he's got one of those
[00:31:33] oh and he talks like a black person yeah well that started with glimmer man and
[00:31:37] progress where now he talks like a slave he's like he's like he's a jazz man
[00:31:41] oh yeah oh hell you know these motherfuckers don't
[00:31:47] he's prop joe he doesn't like prop joe i got a proposition
[00:31:51] i already told these motherfuckers if any of my business is gonna have to
[00:31:57] come around here come me off come me off a little something that
[00:32:02] uh you know maybe we'll maybe do a little mission here in a minute
[00:32:06] he should play like no steve yeah yeah he should he could we place a black
[00:32:09] i'm glimmer man that's like for whatever reason he stops being Chinese and he's
[00:32:13] black in that movie it is a cool type of older black guy
[00:32:17] like the guy the older black we were talking about the sauce at the older
[00:32:20] black guy that's really into asian shit
[00:32:22] yo she's sort of the original animator he would have been a
[00:32:26] it's the precursor right to that you know like 19th with john the
[00:32:29] yeah in the 70s when kung fu movies blew up like there is a bunch of black guys
[00:32:32] that got in marshwars that's kind of the birth of black nerds
[00:32:36] yeah Wu Tang is responsible for a lot of black or black men yeah for sure
[00:32:41] for some but yeah so he he has just become one of those older black men
[00:32:46] that's into asian stuff yeah but eventually i want to see him do a full
[00:32:50] blackface movie yeah i think if anyone's gonna do it's gonna be him
[00:32:53] well there's what's on the uh the the q is uh asian connection
[00:32:59] which i want to watch with him what are they fucking retarded man
[00:33:03] i wonder what the connection is what it's referring to
[00:33:07] connection between steven segull and the dialysis mission
[00:33:12] it's the fucking uh steins in his arm yeah they go like through his like
[00:33:16] special ops dossier like on the computer and there's a picture of him young
[00:33:20] and we're joking around last night it's from a move it's from another movie
[00:33:22] yeah it's from like 30 years yeah it's from like yeah
[00:33:25] the fucking universe they're all in the same universe
[00:33:27] cover for sniper special ops they've just photoshopped his fat head on
[00:33:31] someone else's body yes as poorly as they possibly can
[00:33:34] that's so i love his fat head no they just they fucking pump these
[00:33:37] movies out the other one we watched the other night a good man
[00:33:43] that's barely a title it's all three words too
[00:33:47] a good man yeah where he plays he played the good man
[00:33:50] yeah he's the good man of course and so basically the plot is this
[00:33:54] he's like uh some kind of ex-special it's always ex-special force right
[00:33:59] and he's living in uh he's living in bucrest
[00:34:01] and uh he uh you know just has an apartment and he's been tracking
[00:34:06] this uh weapons dealer that got away when he murdered all these people that
[00:34:11] killed his part they have a flashback scene in the beginning where you see
[00:34:13] him sneaking into some building just fatly going around corners
[00:34:18] while his while his special ops partner who looks like a fucking homeless person
[00:34:23] this guy's like again 57 60 years old you know
[00:34:27] emaciated shitty like fucking you know like uh uh
[00:34:32] like civil war general like fumen shoes yeah that kind of shit you know
[00:34:37] like uh like mcclellan that's what he's saying
[00:34:40] and he's like we gotta get into that you got two
[00:34:45] tangos on your left you know this homeless guy in the woods on overwatch
[00:34:49] and Stephen's got and then like a thing blows up and some girl dies
[00:34:52] and so he's upset so he wants to go find this weapons dealer he's a
[00:34:55] chinese guy and he's in bucrest and he's like killing these russian gangsters
[00:35:00] and uh is calling card when he kills them
[00:35:03] as he leaves some incense on the ground and then just scribbles some bullshit
[00:35:07] in chinese and uh and so oh god there is neighbor
[00:35:12] who's this woman who's like having trouble getting in her apartment one day
[00:35:16] and has like a young girl with her uh he's like
[00:35:19] new little help you know and then he just breaks into her apartment for
[00:35:23] or whatever and then they're in there and he's like
[00:35:26] you know like your kids and ice or whatever and she's like yes uh
[00:35:30] i love my sister and then you see like that's supposed to be like you let
[00:35:34] you know like yeah her pussy isn't ruined that's a sister
[00:35:38] it's not a daughter and then seagull's like
[00:35:41] your sister huh you know they're making you would not
[00:35:45] fuck the before yeah that's what the implication is
[00:35:48] and then so and then the plot gets really fucking convoluted where
[00:35:52] yeah so the the arms dealer is doing a deal with the russian mob
[00:35:57] who he's not really interested in but the russian mob owns the neighbor and
[00:36:01] the sister because they're they're her dad owed them money so when the dad
[00:36:06] died she had to become a bartender in their strip club not a stripper
[00:36:09] not a horror not a prodigy just make her be a bartender
[00:36:14] it's pure and but then she saw us in a really nice apartment
[00:36:17] you know the russian mob he sounds pretty reasonable right yeah
[00:36:21] so the russian mafia loses all their money or something and they owe money to
[00:36:25] the arms dealer and so instead of giving him the money they're like we will
[00:36:28] give you the girl instead so she's their slave they're
[00:36:32] slave basically but the arms dealer like i don't know why he would want a girl
[00:36:37] he's like no it's two million dollars i want just some
[00:36:41] fucking middle-aged Romanian woman you know and then he is like he's like
[00:36:45] deal and then they bring the little girl instead of like the main one
[00:36:49] and he's like well i guess i can sell her to a pedophile
[00:37:00] yeah yeah and there's three human transacting in this movie
[00:37:05] yeah and then uh seagull shows up with this other guy he does this thing now
[00:37:08] he brings a younger martial artist in and they do the majority of the ass
[00:37:12] kicking and then so seagull does barely nothing
[00:37:15] seagull meets the younger guy and he's like all right i'll help you but you
[00:37:18] got to do everything my way and then the guy does everything for himself
[00:37:22] seagull does literally nothing they save the guy or they save the girl and at
[00:37:27] the end of the movie the neighbor is just like you know basically like
[00:37:31] well i can't thank you enough and then he just fucks her
[00:37:36] he's just my son following even though there's been no romantic connection
[00:37:39] between him he's older than her by 40 years
[00:37:43] they make these poor young actresses i was gonna say how much fuck is that
[00:37:47] every other way well the fucking scene is him fully
[00:37:50] clothed while she's naked and he's just touching her body
[00:37:54] yeah he doesn't he's still wearing a sunglasses
[00:38:00] god damn that's so awesome and that's seagull's definition of a good man
[00:38:08] fuck man i want to watch this i'm jealous dude they're so good
[00:38:12] do they ever say good man in the movie no they don't that's a big this point
[00:38:16] but i mean they're filled with like basically every trope that you know
[00:38:19] from the 80s you know like this is another one i watched code of honor last
[00:38:23] night and opens up with you know like a bunch of different types of gangs
[00:38:27] meeting in some meeting area you know so there's bikers and then like
[00:38:30] yikos and then black eyes and russians and they meet
[00:38:34] and they of course have briefcases and they're like you got the stuff and it's
[00:38:38] like i want to see the money first right you know
[00:38:41] and it's like i don't even know where you buy a suitcase anymore
[00:38:44] yeah like that how much that the props department spent
[00:38:47] days looking for a suitcase to put that money in um
[00:38:52] i this is at this point this is like an anecdote like a triple feet you know
[00:38:56] filtered down anecdote i was it was so best to loan on a different podcast
[00:39:00] but still we're talking about seagull he said
[00:39:02] still owns said that he was like in hollywood or whatever and he saw
[00:39:06] seagull crying it was at a studio he saw seagull crying on like a
[00:39:11] stoop and he was just like he's like what are you crying what are you crying for
[00:39:14] steve and he's like i just read the most beautiful
[00:39:17] screenplay i've ever read in my life and there's like oh my god who wrote and he's
[00:39:26] and i just choose to believe that's right i was saying i tweeted and i really
[00:39:31] want to write a movie where seagull kills james bond
[00:39:35] i don't know why pewd to produce that yeah you could make that in russia and
[00:39:39] they're he's best friends with pewd in russia you could do it and you just
[00:39:42] imply really heavily that it's james bond without us no i want to use the
[00:39:45] name james bond who says james bond motherfucker
[00:39:49] nobody says in the twice to me i'm guylon can we just make a shitty action
[00:39:54] movie yeah maybe that would be awesome as shitty as those movies look they still
[00:39:59] cost probably four million dollars i know but you know what i'm saying just like
[00:40:02] whatever do you just beat your life and rent some humvees it's not that part
[00:40:06] yeah yeah uh we got to take a break uh yeah we have
[00:40:10] messages oh shit i don't know if i should say that but we're taking a break
[00:40:13] we'll be right back uh goodbye hey guys nick here the original
[00:40:18] come boy the leader the gearhead uh the worst one on the show the one that
[00:40:22] you probably kill himself and i have a special message
[00:40:26] just for listeners of come town guys if you know me you know i'm one of the
[00:40:30] people that pulls their pants all the way down to p at the urinal
[00:40:34] and no it's not because i have a neurological disorder
[00:40:37] it's actually because i'm trying to show off my fancy underwear that's right
[00:40:41] folks i've got good underwear and i got it at macwell then dot com
[00:40:45] and uh i went online and it was really easy to just go to their website in
[00:40:49] order underwear directly from them without the shame and humiliation of
[00:40:53] having to go into a store and explain to you know cashiers
[00:40:57] and all the customers that i had to replace my old underwear because i don't
[00:41:00] know how to wipe myself i'm a very impatient wiper so uh the order online
[00:41:04] it was great for me it was one of the easiest shopping experiences i've ever
[00:41:07] had and they're the most comfortable underwear i've ever owned in my life
[00:41:10] uh and they got other stuff too they got some crunex scarves socks
[00:41:14] they got a silver line of underwear and undershirts that are naturally
[00:41:18] antimicrobial which is a scientific term which means they eliminate odors you
[00:41:22] don't have to brush your teeth anymore i'm pretty sure
[00:41:24] uh and i i stopped doing that actually and they've got socks and uh underwear
[00:41:29] crunex scarves hoodies that look good for any occasion
[00:41:32] you know i'm talking you know staying in gaming maybe going out maybe coming
[00:41:36] back home to game more you know go into the store maybe go into a
[00:41:39] bris you can wear these clothes to a bris people that's how nice these are
[00:41:42] these are bris clothes so macwell dot com check them out use promo code
[00:41:50] and tell you what if you don't like your first pair of underwear
[00:41:53] you can call them up complain about it and uh they'll refund your money and you
[00:41:57] can go ahead and uh keep that pair of underwear it's on the house uh check
[00:42:01] them out macwellam dot com and we're back
[00:42:04] whoo and we're still watching shark tank the next episode starts in 14 seconds
[00:42:08] and i thought of what i can tell it's two young black girls both who are in
[00:42:12] shirts with pictures of watermelon oh jeez i can only imagine what kind of
[00:42:16] awful shit i'm gonna say here's my idea for shark tank it's a
[00:42:22] bicycle that sucks your dick they're at those two
[00:42:25] no well they have a bicycle that has a dick in the seat no no it's a connected
[00:42:29] to the pedal i'm talking to fleshlight you move in the bobs
[00:42:33] it bobs up they they have that they have one with a head on it that moves back
[00:42:37] forth yeah fuck fuck i'm devastated yeah you're just not good at business
[00:42:43] what it means is you're not a business man just stick to stick to pussy eating
[00:42:47] comedy i i do want to be the world's foremost pussy eating i think you are
[00:42:51] i think you are i don't think anybody else is trying to carve out that niche
[00:42:55] yeah you've got that handled thank you thank you guys that means a lot for me
[00:42:59] is more of a lifestyle decision that she really is wearing a shirt with a
[00:43:02] life image and watermelon on it dude nik
[00:43:06] chill dude chill i am being chill i'm just saying i mean
[00:43:10] the sharks are going to notice that for sharks
[00:43:13] are they not gonna say anything about that you're right there's blood in the
[00:43:15] water yeah delicious sugary blood in the water
[00:43:21] um sorry i know i'm stuck on it but i'm stumps
[00:43:26] it's a sassy looking watermelon all right
[00:43:30] this this would be the best i don't get it it's just a fruit what are you
[00:43:33] talking about nik yeah what it would this would honestly be the best way to
[00:43:37] troll nik yeah just bring something like this in the room
[00:43:40] and then no one comment on it everyone be like yeah convince me i'm having like
[00:43:44] a schizophrenic episode we're talking about it
[00:43:49] now did their counter offer is just white women
[00:43:52] these ladies are it's two white ladies selling something called soul mates
[00:43:57] oh yeah and it's soul so le not so you well the black version
[00:44:02] which is the other girls yes they're it's um you pour jerry curl solution
[00:44:08] you're ahead stuck in my head for like a week you know that song soul man
[00:44:12] yeah i'm a soul but it's i'm a gay man yes yes
[00:44:20] but up up up oh that's from that movie the gay brothers
[00:44:24] yeah gay brothers 2000 we just suck off 2000 guys
[00:44:29] and for brothers fuck 2000 men their hats are glued to their heads with
[00:44:33] calm also the movie dome heads where they have regular heads but they
[00:44:41] and the family loves talking hell yes dome heads bitch yeah
[00:44:48] um what else what else den acroids stuff we think we can make gay um
[00:44:57] uh it's a fat man's tits ghost nutbusters
[00:45:02] i love it so far yeah but ghostbusters a movie
[00:45:05] starring women yeah it is that's right they actually deleted all the copies
[00:45:10] of the original ghostbusters wait christen wiggoed from city to city
[00:45:14] burning every dvd that's what they're doing at the million
[00:45:18] one is right all over them and ruin it so if you put it in your dvd player it
[00:45:22] explodes and destroys your man cave replaces everything
[00:45:25] man can everything your man cave gets replaced with scented candles
[00:45:29] it just turns your son gay yeah you watch the old ghostbusters needle point
[00:45:33] needlepoint motivational home is where the heart is
[00:45:38] um fuck what was i gonna talk oh here's something i want to talk about me
[00:45:42] and then we're discussing how do you guys think bernie fucks good
[00:45:46] bernie sanders yeah sanders i think bernie fucks he's all elbose
[00:45:50] i think he fucks good i think it's a lot of foreplay
[00:45:53] i think bernie's really well i think that i i read the thing about how he
[00:45:58] just what is like play amber amber look disgusted at him with his
[00:46:02] elbose comment yeah well she's not on mike i we're maxed out at four mikes with
[00:46:07] the current gear setup list is planning on purchasing something where we
[00:46:10] have a diffional inputs but instead i got playstation
[00:46:18] two uh two controllers for the place that's true yeah we you know i was thinking
[00:46:23] about other people we play fifa all the time together
[00:46:26] yeah um i think bernie fucks good man and i honestly i i'd like to think i
[00:46:31] fuck like bernie um you fuck like bernie adam you
[00:46:35] fuck like hillerie nick yeah you selfish what do you mean children
[00:46:41] waffle of pizza yeah yeah yeah exactly you mean you fuck
[00:46:46] children i heard that his but his basketball game is all
[00:46:50] well it's all hustle and all elbose who did you hear it from there's someone
[00:46:53] someone did a like a i think it was a dead spin thing about like they asked the
[00:46:57] guys that so you read about it he plays pickup yeah
[00:47:00] hearing means like you know guys to play basketball with bernie yeah i just hung
[00:47:04] out at the burlington for mont ymca yeah and there was like an old man there
[00:47:10] in the corner he was kind of like a bagger piece
[00:47:14] i paid i'm open i'll open you fucking stooge
[00:47:19] what do you guys like i like your mafia bernie sanders impression is that a good
[00:47:22] bernie stooge and in my perfect socialist world
[00:47:27] everybody gets free gabagoool that's a great character italian bernie sanders
[00:47:32] well my very character maron the one busset
[00:47:36] who's maron leaves texas bernie sandeducio
[00:47:42] sandeduciolian my very character is rapist jlan o still
[00:47:47] yeah yeah come here bitch yeah i think you're gonna wave at your right foot
[00:47:51] yeah no mean death come in such viper i'm gonna have
[00:47:54] fix if you'll guess you will no exit to this garage i've got 19 trucks to hide
[00:48:00] in so he's probably a bat he's probably bad at sex because he's a car guy right
[00:48:05] jlan o's not good at oh yeah yeah yeah no way is jlan o good at i love that
[00:48:09] foxy and then gone in 60 seconds where they're like making childish
[00:48:14] fucking uh double entendres at each other
[00:48:17] that like this stick shift angelina and angelina and uh and nick and nick
[00:48:21] cage yeah i've never seen gone in 60 seconds oh we should watch that
[00:48:25] that movie is a piece of shit yeah it's really
[00:48:29] summer because nicolas kage old only does
[00:48:31] get the best good movie well it's funny when they let nicolas kage be nicolas
[00:48:34] kage the movies are amazing that's true you know if you've seen uh kiss kiss of
[00:48:38] the vampire yeah vampires yeah uh embrace of the vampire
[00:48:42] something like that no it's kiss of the vampire there's also
[00:48:44] embrace of vampire which has a list of melano naked in it
[00:48:47] oh yeah yeah yeah extremely naked it's awesome
[00:48:51] it's fucking so good and i i know i say beat off to a lot of
[00:48:55] things but i remember specific beat off sessions
[00:48:59] to this piece mark it down to this piece put on this spreadsheet well
[00:49:04] god i love i love embrace right the other titties are so out
[00:49:08] yeah you know it's the best to listen a lot of movie is like that made for tv
[00:49:11] joey but afucco movie yeah she plays uh well aimee fisher
[00:49:14] yeah yeah yeah never saw it beat off the charm though
[00:49:18] what yes beat off to charm to charm that other girl was in the
[00:49:23] uh they were all hot candle in your ass while you're doing that also
[00:49:27] i have a question about candle yeah yeah i guess you as funny about the candle
[00:49:31] in the ass thing is that immediately became a scented candle after
[00:49:36] it's not the kind of stinky candle yeah what's your
[00:49:42] question about the candle then when you must have been thinking about
[00:49:45] stiffler yeah i was about the nurse putting his
[00:49:48] face his eyes closed and it's like stiffler like
[00:49:54] thank you stiffler not dude because the number is so cool
[00:49:58] yeah i just i'm willing to go gay for friendship
[00:50:02] when i was 11 years old i just probably i probably could have been
[00:50:06] talking to like sucking someone off to be friends with them yeah
[00:50:09] hey we've all been there yeah like right now you guys want to suck each other off
[00:50:13] you know nobody wants to hang out with you at the lunch table
[00:50:16] yeah how you gonna do it do what you gotta do right put on some knee pads and you
[00:50:23] dip your fucking uh just use chocolate milk as lube
[00:50:28] why because that's what you got at the lunch table dude
[00:50:32] oh yeah come on we're gonna go mayonnaise
[00:50:35] i guess probably mayonnaise in terms of if you had to be it all right
[00:50:38] using only cafeteria this is like a paul 13
[00:50:41] yeah this is all they had yeah yeah i'm following 69
[00:50:48] what would make the best lube i guess it is mayonnaise right well is they like
[00:50:52] salad dressing you know i always liked about you know how they say spaces of
[00:50:55] vacuum and i'd like to imagine astronauts on the
[00:50:57] space shuttle and then someone on this like the space shuttle is like well you
[00:51:00] know a space is vacuum and an astronaut's like
[00:51:03] what yeah it's a vacuum and then he immediately like sticks his dick out of
[00:51:07] the air a lot to get sucked off my space
[00:51:12] it's also like hundred degrees below zero
[00:51:14] yeah that's why i like a nice cold blow job
[00:51:19] that's awesome uh yeah put the ice well people say you put ice in your mouth
[00:51:24] it sucked dick or whatever well you know they got the
[00:51:26] i mean they always suck off somehow it's always love that term uh uh
[00:51:29] Eskimo brothers or whatever yeah and it's like do you think any Eskimo's
[00:51:34] know about that what are the Eskimo's up to?
[00:51:38] well the Eskimo language is rutting trains the Eskimo language is people going uh
[00:51:42] oh snow snow snow yeah that's not sennels
[00:51:46] words for snow yeah is there others? the only
[00:51:47] word they have yeah um there are actual Eskimo
[00:51:52] brothers you know what do you mean i mean like they're
[00:51:57] importantly my brother's sometimes they have brothers
[00:51:58] do they ever do they fuck the ECB do they only exclusively fuck
[00:52:01] are you allowed to fuck your brother's wife in Eskimo culture is that why it's
[00:52:04] like yeah that's where they call it did you fuck my wife did you fuck my wife
[00:52:12] yeah yeah it's the calm you both get your car on my own now that you and then
[00:52:22] right and let us know isn't that also just a retarded thing like some idiot
[00:52:27] at you know and just like they have different like we have sleep or slush
[00:52:31] you just a fucking idiot and or he was an idiot yeah yeah yeah yeah there's
[00:52:35] like they have thirty words for snow is fifty right whatever the fucking is i
[00:52:39] don't think that's even true i think that's just some stupid as anthropologist
[00:52:43] yeah i'm Margaret Mead stupid dumbass bitch
[00:52:46] you know speaking of funny shit from sociology g and college and shit
[00:52:50] i remember i was in one of my classes there like one sociologist went to uh...
[00:52:56] i was reading a chapter book and one sociologist went to like a fucking
[00:53:00] some culture like pop a new guinea or some little island like that
[00:53:03] and like it was just like if you if you bonded with like a little boy he sucked
[00:53:09] like that was like cool and that was like the fucking fun thing to do over there
[00:53:14] filly you're talking about everyone's like
[00:53:18] can you judge it though because it's a culture yeah it's it's it's and some little
[00:53:23] well he was over there and he's like no i'm good dude i got a wife and he's like
[00:53:26] no it doesn't matter we're just friends
[00:53:31] whoever was like the leader of that island was a pedophile
[00:53:34] and then he just got to do grease was like that
[00:53:37] yeah well no that's how you you learn quicker
[00:53:41] yeah Japan was like completely samurai samurai samurai is a good voice
[00:53:46] yeah that's just some pedophiles were in power and just like this makes it
[00:53:50] easier to learn yeah is awesome yeah how does that start
[00:53:53] i think it's literally that i think people just someone likes to fuck
[00:53:57] but then so many people just go along with it
[00:53:59] like he's just like all right i guess i'll get some stuff on this kid that's
[00:54:09] um i mean i guess that's normal uh you know we like to do weird things in this
[00:54:15] culture right like what you know like name one thing
[00:54:20] that we do that's weird in this culture we drink like milk from other animals
[00:54:24] bro what that's fucked up man dude it's like you
[00:54:33] yeah it seems kind of tight though what if there was a coffee shop in New York
[00:54:36] that had breast milk like they were like breast milk i'm surprised that
[00:54:40] doesn't exist yeah that should be a thing i like that i like that i like that
[00:54:43] that uh uh peak uh like lina dunham brand
[00:54:47] feminism mid last year when people were making yogurt and bread in their
[00:54:51] vagina oh yeah yeah that was it was like this is empowering and it's like
[00:54:55] for for who yeah this is a weirdest thing who
[00:54:58] who is that empowering for oh shit the crossfit game just came on
[00:55:02] how is this still shark test all these hard bodies dude
[00:55:06] yo that's me if somewhere there's a sexy ass
[00:55:09] shredded woman that like wants to beat up a fat man and he's a
[00:55:13] little bit of a woman's delts dude um just holler at me
[00:55:17] et stave baby on instagram stav vv y why is what is
[00:55:21] what is crud like why is crossfit why is it i don't even get
[00:55:25] get it people just want to work out because it's more involved than a regular
[00:55:28] gym it's just not like because you have friends the way
[00:55:31] commercial gyms work is you sign up for a membership there's always bullshit
[00:55:34] fees and then they say you know like oh and you get in personal
[00:55:38] trainer also and you've already spent so much fucking money on the initial
[00:55:40] membership that you're like no i don't need that i don't need any
[00:55:43] extras you already charged me a hundred-dollar additional sign up fee
[00:55:46] so they have the gym membership and they go once or twice and they don't know what
[00:55:49] the fuck they're doing and then they get discouraged and they never go back
[00:55:52] with crossfit like the first time you go there you know exactly what you're
[00:55:55] doing so it's like having a personal trainer but it's not like that weird
[00:55:59] one on because anybody that has a personal trainer the gym looks like a
[00:56:02] fucking asshole yeah you know you go to a commercial
[00:56:04] gym it's for like you know divorced men that have never done a push up in
[00:56:07] their life yeah and they're trying to fuck it 40 for the first time
[00:56:11] right damn i kind of want to do that though i want to
[00:56:14] fuck yeah i get a personal trainer to teach me how to
[00:56:16] fuck dude isn't your brother a personal trainer yeah but he lives in fucking
[00:56:20] frostberg yeah skype and then skype and then
[00:56:24] this is where fuck if you're a hero you just got into his gym
[00:56:28] oh yeah and then you just watch the exercise
[00:56:32] you could be his like phd thesis dude my fat brother
[00:56:37] turn my fat brother into a sexy fucking ripped bro
[00:56:41] i mean i'm sexy don't get me wrong but i want to be ripped dude i want to be
[00:56:45] strong i want to fight people wouldn't it be cool to just be
[00:56:48] physically stronger than everyone i think they should do that dude i
[00:56:50] like i'm not really into to mix martial arts and never got into the UFC or
[00:56:54] anything but i would watch it if they only had people that were completely out
[00:56:58] of shape because there's more on the line there
[00:57:02] absolutely like i i'm not really worried about you know two guys that look like
[00:57:06] they know how to fight if it was two people that could possibly die
[00:57:10] yeah from a stroke or something that would be i would fight another similarly
[00:57:14] out of shape fat man this is like similar it's like
[00:57:17] bum fights yeah fat fights we should do it that was based in
[00:57:22] in vegas bum fights bum fights it was kimbo from vegas
[00:57:25] how about kimbo is in florida cum fights just fat guys fighting
[00:57:31] i like that i like that a lot we got his producers a lot of garbage huh
[00:57:34] yeah really bad it was really bad growing up there yeah
[00:57:38] yeah why did your family move to vegas i don't know i don't know
[00:57:41] to hit it rich yeah no i mean we yeah we were already
[00:57:46] no they were no you said your parents were like
[00:57:48] millionaire architects no they they were not they lost they
[00:57:52] they uh yeah they moved to vegas because there was like blue collar
[00:57:55] architects oh they flew they fled south africa right
[00:58:00] no they yeah they they they uh it was like the fastest growing
[00:58:04] city in america and that's yeah but by weight until
[00:58:08] it was red article wrong no until it's the fattest place in the country
[00:58:13] fattest growing yeah i mean it was it was weird growing up there i
[00:58:17] mentioned i don't think i talked about in the last episode but like
[00:58:20] the only thing you could do at 18 because you couldn't go to the strip you
[00:58:23] couldn't gamble you could do anything was go to strip club so me and my friends
[00:58:26] would just go in the middle of the desert get high
[00:58:29] and then we'd be bored and then we'd be like all right let's go to the titty
[00:58:32] bar right and then we'd go to the titty bar and we'd just be
[00:58:35] too stoned and then there'd be like a some lady with fucking stretch marks
[00:58:39] you know dancing the puddle of mud and he's so fucking depressing you know
[00:58:44] we've got a fucking little darlings and see some lady you know
[00:58:47] fucking dancing did you ever fuck a prostitute in vegas while you were
[00:58:50] young no never no i wouldn't know what to do what take
[00:58:57] i feel like your dad would be cool with that now he would not
[00:59:01] they i don't know yeah no maybe no they wouldn't be cool with it but uh
[00:59:05] they would not of course they would imagine going to your fucking family so
[00:59:10] hey mom this is a fucking whore i'm gonna go fucking upstairs
[00:59:15] while you do dishes and shit that would be so awesome yeah i i think they'd be
[00:59:20] confused at first what are you talking about yeah i wouldn't say that it was a
[00:59:25] prostitute i'd be like this is you know this is my friend
[00:59:28] yeah naztasha yeah she's uh yeah a russian uh 18 year old growth
[00:59:34] braces she definitely did not come here in in a
[00:59:38] shipping container like in the season two of the wire
[00:59:41] she definitely uh i met her yeah no it was uh
[00:59:45] it was yeah it was a weird place to grow up for sure yeah but
[00:59:49] then i moved to the east coast and everyone thinks i'm from New Jersey so
[00:59:53] really yeah because i'm jewish or whatever you know
[00:59:56] because you jewish and annoying yeah this jersey written all over it
[01:00:00] i guess so is that it long island yeah yeah not quite long island they're more
[01:00:05] fucking like no there's a bunch of you know people
[01:00:08] think you're from long j-o-o is out there no i know but i don't pick up long
[01:00:12] island from you because you get jersey it's well not even either of those but
[01:00:15] i feel like long island is more obnoxious right
[01:00:18] yeah yeah yeah i was watching uh that deep water horizon movie with my friend
[01:00:22] from long island yes sir and he kept saying uh you want to watch this deep
[01:00:25] water horizon movie he like yeah he says like the filly way
[01:00:29] i guess in long island they say water is well filly is so trashy i was there
[01:00:33] yesterday they talk exactly like dandruff like they have the same
[01:00:37] fucking terrible yeah yeah yeah it's all it's made
[01:00:39] Atlantic yeah it's a Delaware talk that way too and
[01:00:42] filly cheesesteaks suck my dick also they're not no there's good ones there
[01:00:45] yeah but just not pats or j-nose suck dick yeah they're bad they're horrible i
[01:00:49] go to jinos because i order in fucking english absolutely yeah
[01:00:52] politically i stand with jino yeah you gotta go be great to go in there and
[01:00:56] order in italian and see if they kick you out
[01:01:00] damn i want to sandwich them yeah i bet you didn't think of that jino did you
[01:01:05] or go into pats in order in irish i guess or a patreon word over and over
[01:01:11] is that an irish is that an irish well did they bring that over i don't know
[01:01:16] probably not probably irish yeah yeah did we talk about how the there was another
[01:01:20] one one of the other famous ones was just called chinks steaks yeah yeah
[01:01:24] yeah and it changed his name to jose in 2012
[01:01:31] it was chinks steaks that entire time it was just and the backstory was that
[01:01:35] because i when i first saw it i was like that's gotta be a mistake you know
[01:01:40] there's no way it's called chinks steaks yeah and then the backstory is is that
[01:01:44] the guy that owned the place as a kid he looked sleepy so his nickname was chink
[01:01:49] yeah he just had so it's not racist it's a white guy being called chink yeah
[01:01:54] because it looks like a chinese guy right that was the story there
[01:01:58] sorry i was enthralled by uh this guy that's just trying to sell chocolate on shark
[01:02:04] tent he's just selling kinder eggs they're all crying they're always crying
[01:02:09] they said he's good started off crying yeah no he is
[01:02:12] is he gonna get it oh they're shark tank kinder eggs yeah but they're the
[01:02:17] kinder eggs are illegal in the united states he found a loophole what is it
[01:02:22] uh you put gasoline in the chocolate so it counts as fuel yeah and that way you
[01:02:27] can uh get past the fda wait why are kinder eggs illegal in the united states
[01:02:31] yeah because kids were taking the balls out of the chocolate and putting them in
[01:02:37] their ass and just getting stuck in there not damn it stuff yeah everything
[01:02:42] right no if that's the road eagle in the united states because of one boy
[01:02:46] a road trip how wide of a candle are we talking that's what i was about to ask
[01:02:52] it was like uh it was like a shabbos candle it was a little it was an entire
[01:02:56] menorah yeah yeah that i say candle it was live rachis candle opera it was a
[01:03:00] roman candle that i put in itself into my ass um it was like a fucking little
[01:03:05] little communion candle type of thing it was one of those candles uh in the
[01:03:11] in the commemoration room in the holocaust museum it was like i'll fucking you know
[01:03:18] did you guys ever wait when he said when he said i watch or that he was confused
[01:03:21] and meant i was on a road trip with my class to the holocaust museum yeah and
[01:03:27] i put a candle in my ass but i'm six but i'm six but i call my ass the secret annex man
[01:03:32] i was a and frank joke oh sorry oh yeah yeah apparently she didn't get sold out
[01:03:38] they just uh revised that history does anyone do a bit about how like
[01:03:43] do like publishing her private diary is so much worse than being gassed by the
[01:03:48] Nazis oh god but essentially her father was worse than the Nazis and her dad was
[01:03:53] it was the one who lived right yeah dad was the one that's the wait really yeah yeah
[01:03:57] yeah yeah she sold them all out no no no that would be so
[01:04:03] apparently they didn't get sold out yeah that was like that apparently it was just
[01:04:07] like random basically what happened with an frank was that uh her father was indebted to the
[01:04:14] russian mafia and so the russian mafia had to sell and frank to a chinese pedophile
[01:04:20] and then steven segull saved yeah wow yeah he's a free taker i would love to see you know how
[01:04:26] funny it is it like walberg makes like deep water horizon and that boston marathon bombing
[01:04:31] movie yeah if segull was doing the same thing where he stops 9-11 but he just refused to get out
[01:04:37] of a chair being in first class and he's just like lazily reaching into the cockpit and slap
[01:04:44] killing everyone yeah he loves a slap kill yeah and he's so lazy that the movie is just called
[01:04:51] 9-1 i'm not saying three numbers you only get in two numbers out of me oh oh god i saw that
[01:05:01] move i saw pages day the other day i went to the theater and i was like i was like i don't want
[01:05:05] to see hidden figures i don't want to watch like a serious movie and then i was like mark
[01:05:08] walberg and patreons day that sounds like it's probably like a dumb action movie i thought it was
[01:05:12] gonna be like white house down yeah yeah and it's like a really like realistic boston marathon
[01:05:18] bombing yeah it's peep berg and i just i cried really i heard it's not bad it's actually pretty
[01:05:23] fucking muslim kids who did this it's surprisingly not not as anti-muslim as you'd think really is
[01:05:28] the kid that blinks out i hear the kid it's not super you don't it's not super conservative i
[01:05:35] if walberg doesn't wipe his ass with a turban i don't want to say no he doesn't even say one slur
[01:05:41] in it yeah in a boston accent it's got a lot of a list he does beat up uh like about 12 feet
[01:05:47] like a lot of these in the process if you ask me there's a lot of gayly stories
[01:05:51] yeah the kidding list yeah nice man i've heard nick laugh yeah we got a
[01:05:57] three weeks we can't think breaks anymore yeah it was pumping so you're so upsetting sometimes
[01:06:08] with you guys i think that's funny gailist is like a little celebrity i'm with you yeah i'm
[01:06:13] i'm actually i'm friends with a lot of gayless yeah they're on the gay list the secret hollywood
[01:06:20] gayless yeah uh how about a website called uh headline or i sorry deadline and it or not
[01:06:26] deadline headline and it's a bad damn that stuff i keep getting distracted by fucking chartech yeah
[01:06:35] let's just selling popcorn we should not know what we're done we've done our time for this week i
[01:06:40] think this has been a good episode it actually is a good episode let's plug the show uh yes the 23rd
[01:06:45] this upcoming monday we have a show come on everybody uh great lineup great lineup you guys
[01:06:51] uh we're really lucky happy rosinquist mike leba wits lankston kerman very funny bros
[01:06:57] i'm also i wanted to fucking say i'm on a benefit for planned parenthood uh friday jay mr 27th at
[01:07:04] art space ps 109 um i'll have my shit on twitter and all that kind of stuff but yeah that's that's
[01:07:12] gonna be another good one and all the money goes to plan parenthood i went to a planned parenthood
[01:07:15] benefit at uh the new zm on the ceiling of or the roof of the new zm that's a really nice spot it
[01:07:21] was great indeed they were like senators there dana brought me i was wearing basketball shorts
[01:07:25] and an open bar and i just got trashed on the balcony and uh you know i feel like i i changed a lot of
[01:07:32] people's minds absolutely about uh you know abortion you were you ain't anti-abortion you should have
[01:07:38] been aborted yeah right well that no they were on board with abortion yeah um so yeah anyway so
[01:07:46] come to come to our show and then you know if you want come to plan parenthood thing we'll raise
[01:07:51] the money for uh you know yeah and a lot of people have asked the tickle link is now up on the website
[01:07:56] it wasn't up until i think yesterday or something uh we had a poster snafu apparently the poster
[01:08:02] our friend made was a little bit racially incensed you might as well tweet it right the poster no it's
[01:08:08] not even racially insensitive uh anyway but the fact that i'm saying it was just chief wahoo yeah yeah
[01:08:14] yeah we we just used the logo of the washington red skin it was us in blackface fake hanging
[01:08:19] ourselves which i don't get what the point what's so racist about yeah it was really just it was
[01:08:24] so innocuous um then you seem upset i'm not a sham i was watching shark tank yeah um anyway
[01:08:34] all right well that's it you fucking should we riff on gayless celebrities
[01:08:42] that one was good for me it was good i like gayless there's going to be a charity event there's a
[01:08:49] lot of gayless let me laugh about that for a week and a half uh fuck all right well
[01:08:56] goodbye everyone bye folks later thank you