Cum Town | Regular | 03/23/2017
[00:00:02] We're doing this. This is we just stopped recording the last episode
[00:00:07] So do you guys it's been you know maybe four or five days?
[00:00:11] But to us it's been 30 seconds. So we're like a time cop
[00:00:29] You know what's great about Van Dam's movies is if you get them all as like
[00:00:38] They fit and I don't know a lot about video codecs, but I know that like you know when you go to download shit
[00:00:45] 700 megabyte file if you get that whatever that compression is but van dam is so strong
[00:00:54] He's done exactly the amount of movies that in that compression they all fit perfectly on a fucking a blue ray
[00:01:00] I think or like one blue ray one blue ray or one one of them one HD dvd or something
[00:01:09] But that you could have every single you could have the van dam the van dam anthology on
[00:01:17] Yes, yeah, there's plenty of movies where he's not the star in fact his first role as
[00:01:26] Just some sort of background bad guy in no retreat no surrender three bloodhound brothers or blood brothers
[00:01:33] Bloodhound brothers was a pun I made about that movie
[00:01:35] Seven years ago no retreat no surrender three bloodhound brothers is the complete title of that movie
[00:01:40] No the complete title of the movie is no retreat no surrender three blood brothers
[00:01:44] Okay, but I said bloodhound brothers one time as a pun bloodhound gang yeah
[00:01:51] No, but time cop is one of the greatest time cop is a legit good movie
[00:01:58] Yeah, what I love about time cop is it was made in I think 1993 or 1994 and so
[00:02:06] Is this distracting should I turn this off we're
[00:02:09] We should a introduce JP we should it stops also here
[00:02:15] Yeah, we got just big date in the go make a mess
[00:02:21] Your messy ass kitchen. Yeah, my the kitchen was fucking halfway clean you need the
[00:02:25] What I mean I fucking get a cup of water you can't use the same cup you used a fucking hour ago
[00:02:30] You had one you guys you came in I saw you fucking rifling through the cabinets
[00:02:35] There's the where's the stubby fucking fingers where's the toilet terrible knobs out of the cabinets find it?
[00:02:42] Anything was fucking dirty because you're fucking asses dirty you you disrespecting your Vitamix you got fucking shit
[00:02:48] Well, all we need to do is just see my shit chocolate on it
[00:02:52] Because the sink was filled to shit because you come over here. He's nine fucking cuts your mind
[00:02:56] You're like what am I placing all the time?
[00:02:58] Blame it on me bitch your filthy ass fucking apartment. Anyhow, so
[00:03:02] He he what time cop here's what time cops good
[00:03:11] Somebody mentioned I think I mentioned the sound of music on the last one so I put it on the background
[00:03:15] My dear. I thought you know be honest with you
[00:03:18] I thought it would look better on this TV and really doesn't
[00:03:21] It looks good. There's an opening like alpine charts looked good. Yeah, I'll watch this by myself
[00:03:26] And then I'll have plenty to complain about later
[00:03:28] Watch it. We'll watch it together the boys. Yeah, we're gonna watch that
[00:03:32] It would JP the plan was we're gonna go to a drive-in movie theater and hold hands
[00:03:37] And our 57 Chevy Bel Air and hold hands and we're gonna watch meet me in St. Louis and kiss in the front seat
[00:03:44] What's meet me in St. Louis about this? There's a cop right is it about Nellie? Yeah?
[00:03:52] Yeah, there's a cop. He's a good man. He's minding his own business. Yeah, just walking a beat
[00:03:58] He's just another Judy Garland working the beat. I
[00:04:02] Pick you guys all in the car. Just like taking off your varsity jackets and giving them to each other. Yeah
[00:04:08] Stops in full poodle skirt. Yeah, big lady. No, it's like I'm more of a jock
[00:04:13] Well the scene is this a cop taps on the window and we roll it down and then all simultaneously while wearing each other
[00:04:19] It's the Letterman jackets backwards like Hank Scorpio. We look at the cop and go nothing
[00:04:27] And that's what happens in college we used to smoke weed in the bathrooms and
[00:04:32] We'd always oh, yeah, dude. We'd always I didn't know you're cool. You have a spoon. Holy shit
[00:04:36] This is that so cool. Is that a poof? Wait, is that a blow tube? You call it a spoof? Yeah
[00:04:42] Weird new England slang. Yeah, yeah, yeah
[00:04:45] Dry shoes paper a spoof in New England is when you rig up a fucking pressure cooker
[00:04:57] We have old slurs from the 18th century that we use
[00:05:01] One of them so I got a little thrown off. Oh
[00:05:04] Did you have relatives of Salem witch trials? Not that we talked about a
[00:05:08] Lot of shame. Yeah for the listener JP's old new English. Are you really? No?
[00:05:16] Yeah, I'm actually cool. I was actually here before you're not your family's like arcade fire type type people. Yeah
[00:05:23] Yeah, like first strokes album green point
[00:05:27] I did like the strokes in high school dude. I still like the stroke
[00:05:30] I touched titties while listening to the strokes and I never forget it. I love the strokes
[00:05:35] But I have at the time cop makes time. Yeah, God forbid we talk about our guests. I
[00:05:40] Just want to make my fucking point about time cop
[00:05:43] Yeah, the reason you have a guest on a shows in case the conversation runs dry and then you throw it to them, right?
[00:05:48] Yeah, we're like go to the well go to the time cop
[00:05:50] Well, tell us about some like unspeakable things you've done for our podcast for zero dollars
[00:05:55] Where's Ian let's talk about him. Have you fucked any trainees? I've not or trans get you just you're
[00:06:01] I mean trans I meant to say have you ever fucked those those disgusting people? I don't think they're disgusting
[00:06:09] I'm on record as a pro. Oh, I didn't mean to say tranies, which I definitely said and meant
[00:06:15] Anyway time cop. Oh now you want to talk about time. I do all right
[00:06:22] I think it's from like 1994 and so the premise is it's a guy in 94
[00:06:27] And then he uses they make a time machine that goes to 2004 which is so funny that like they would have a time machine
[00:06:33] And they'd only go you can wait ten years. Yeah, you don't need a time machine for ten years span
[00:06:43] Yeah, right well so in 1994, you know, it's the 90s
[00:06:47] They got rid of the 80s maul it nobody has a mullet anymore and then when they go forward to 2004 mullet's back
[00:06:53] We're gonna be predicted that the maul it yeah, yeah, and then it's just that cyclical some movies do like an
[00:07:01] Okay job predicting the future, you know like back to the futures like that where it's like obviously, you know
[00:07:06] There's not you know floating cars, but like the hoverboards are kind of like segues that like certain
[00:07:11] It's like all of Europe saw time cop and they're like well
[00:07:26] But yeah, no time cop fucks it up completely the one that's the best is minority report
[00:07:30] Yeah, my new report you watch it and it looks like you came out of my computers are gonna be like minority report, right?
[00:07:35] They already are like the fucking they already are that's what a iPad is yeah
[00:07:39] Yeah, but it's like more like conducting like your conductor at a
[00:07:43] That's probably how you use an iPad yeah, you're probably at home your favorite
[00:07:50] Pretty soon everyone's gonna have to do gay wrists. That's true to be good at computers. That's absolutely
[00:07:54] Yeah, see what we really oh yeah total recall wasn't bad about the future guys. Yeah got a lot of stuff right
[00:08:00] You know total recall is a great movie. I love that shit. Yeah, I should have put it on total recall
[00:08:05] We'll watch that instead of sound of music. I just watched it. Maybe something else based on let's watch predator total precom
[00:08:11] Predator socks dude what predators a fucking shitty movie. Yeah. Yeah, it also looks really bad
[00:08:17] I've never seen it. I want to see it. I was really into it when I was eight really saw it
[00:08:21] So that's probably how you know it's a bad movie. Yeah
[00:08:24] This is a telltale sign of a bad movie is if a child likes it
[00:08:28] There's a there's part where they're just shooting trees with a 50-cal machine gun honestly
[00:08:32] That's pretty cool. Yeah when he's got that when he's like carrying around the minigun. Yeah, I really do that character
[00:08:42] Whoever that is because he's strong like I am. Yeah, I'm very strong
[00:08:48] Anyway, no that did John Claude van Dam like I remember when I was a kid
[00:08:52] There was something on the news about him fucking his wife in the bathroom of like McDonald's
[00:08:58] Yeah, well the problem is that he spanned the tops of three stalls
[00:09:07] Dropping his dick into the middle one in front of a bunch of families
[00:09:11] Yeah, one leg up on the sink and the other one on that koala changing station
[00:09:16] The baby changing station and he was blocking the entrance and his wife was sucking his dick
[00:09:20] There's a guy teaching his son how to use the toilet and his dick just drop down like a spider
[00:09:30] Bad move bad move to use the bathroom while I'm trying to do splits
[00:09:43] That's apparently that's like a comedy show where it's kind of self-aware plays himself kind of no
[00:09:49] I'm tired of those didn't didn't Joey he's like in a Louie
[00:09:54] Yeah, he's in the John Claude van Dam Louie have we talked about how bad the Rob Schneider?
[00:10:00] I've seen yes, yeah, you started talk you started talking about how shitty it was on Bobby Kelly's podcast and Bobby was like
[00:10:06] Yeah, I'm friends with him and then you're like oh, I mean, oh no
[00:10:11] I mean it's good. It's a good show. I'm sorry Bobby first of all I'm sitting right there
[00:10:16] I completely stood my ground here untangled
[00:10:25] His daughter sings a song since that one of the oh, yeah, she has a like big that big hit
[00:10:29] But did you do that thing that was like listen? I'm sure he's a great guy. Yeah, I did that
[00:10:35] See immediately fucking started equivocating his his
[00:10:41] Steve fucking mad you got dirty ass dishes. Don't take it out on me bitch. Well, you're the one that made the dishes dirty
[00:10:47] I have never dirty to dish in your gas house once in my life. God damn it. No, sorry. There's like some horrific noise
[00:10:53] That needs to it's ruining the show. Oh should we pause it real quick? No
[00:10:59] Let Adam untangle these was it. Do you think it did it the last show? No, it's fine now. Just don't fucking touch it
[00:11:12] Don't take a picture if the picture is gonna fuck this is gonna make it worse. Oh also electrical interference from the fucking camera
[00:11:21] Our friend Michael foodie got married yesterday Michael foodie
[00:11:24] Yeah, congrats, you know in brand-only legalized autistic marriage
[00:11:34] Congratulations to mr. And mrs. Minecraft foodie
[00:11:41] We're now engaged in I don't know I like Michael. I don't know I'll be me no
[00:11:44] He's just like yeah, maybe you shouldn't be as you as socially awkward or like less socially awkward than I am
[00:11:51] He's just smarter than me. Yeah, it's not making fun of him
[00:11:56] Cuz he's a smarter person. I think anyone smarter than me is autistic. Yeah
[00:12:02] Stephen Hawking's autism. He got a bed. He's paralyzed from it. Yeah
[00:12:07] All the way down into his bones. It's seeped from his brains into his bones. He's such a big nerd that he's paralyzed
[00:12:13] Yeah, it's a kind of a liquid autism is like a liquid
[00:12:16] If you're too much in your bloodstream, it's like mojo and Austin power
[00:12:23] Mojo means on the spectrum. Let me show you my collection
[00:12:29] It's not gonna fucking work was the mojo in all of them
[00:12:36] Well, no, I mean in every every one of the awesome
[00:12:39] Oh, no, I think it's only in the one. Yeah, really spy who shagged me. Yeah, the number number two
[00:12:45] Golden gold member the premise of that one was that no yet number two is the spy the chagney, right?
[00:12:52] Yeah, yeah, and the premise of that one was he's the blonde lady. Yeah, and number three. We see as interracial
[00:13:01] Yeah, I you know I was mad that you know, they made Beyonce part of the Hillary Clinton campaign
[00:13:07] But they didn't make Austin powers also
[00:13:11] Definitely part of Donald Trump is essentially gold member. Yeah, well, he's dr. Evil
[00:13:17] Dude, how pissed you think Jay Z is that his wife fucked Austin powers. Yeah, gotta be really annoying
[00:13:22] Well, you know, she's so method that she had to fuck every cast
[00:13:28] Yeah, you know, I the mini me was actually he made her life help by putting his hands up
[00:13:32] And he thought he could get away with anything because he was so small. Do you guys see the Verintroyer sex tape?
[00:13:38] No, his little ass dick getting sucked is pretty funny. There is this is
[00:13:43] Ram yeah, you ever watched that fucking reality show the real life real life. I actually enjoyed that show dude
[00:13:50] It's a good show. Yeah, I was flavor-flave and his giant wife. Mm-hmm. I think
[00:13:56] You're right her yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
[00:13:58] Brigitte Brigitte you still vest your still listen wife. Yeah, Brigitte Nielsen. I think Brigitte Leslie Nielsen
[00:14:04] Prushute Leslie. Yeah, you fucking Leslie. Yeah, Eric Astrada was in it. Yeah, Mini me was in it
[00:14:12] Yeah, wasn't there a hot woman also? Yeah, it's a big tid bitch
[00:14:17] Something Bianca big ass. Oh, these stuff shit around Jeremy was on it. That's right. Oh, there's a fucking oh chorro
[00:14:27] Jazza there's a black there's a really garlands like playmate and another who almost fucked who almost fucked?
[00:14:35] And Rob Robin Robin Givens Rob Van Winkle was on it too. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's hilarious
[00:14:42] Let's not say what everyone knows his actual name is
[00:14:48] Vani Rob why when you call him vanilla rice
[00:14:58] Ron Jeremy was on a show that I did it was like a it was like a live it's first comes love
[00:15:05] So we're all just fucking around like we have the scripts in our hands
[00:15:08] We're acting out these dumb porn scenes that were like submitted by real porn writers and Ron Jeremy was like a special guest
[00:15:14] Completely off book like he took it so seriously
[00:15:17] He was like really and then he just like acted this shit out of this scene really
[00:15:24] Nail it yeah, he didn't pull the hog out though. He didn't no that's gonna cost extra
[00:15:28] He wouldn't do it because of that reason. I'm sure though
[00:15:31] How much does it cost to get Ron Jeremy to say don oh my
[00:15:38] Know it's on this contract I was just a classic to refer to him as screech the entire show
[00:15:43] Damn dude, did you guys you ever hang out Ron? No?
[00:15:48] He was very elusive. He was ran by his entourage his ronteras
[00:15:52] He's a ronteras who's in the wrong to run you're here Norton tell that story about like the double teaming the girl with him
[00:16:01] Let's just tell it's third hand. Well, I mean he told it on the Graham Norton show
[00:16:25] Is there gonna be a coup if you guys killed Jeff Ross who gets to be the new roast master?
[00:16:30] There's a whole it's like that show loan survivor
[00:16:32] There's a roaster located underneath the comedy story
[00:16:38] He takes over the roast community secretary of education
[00:16:41] Yeah, you know about japes my man out here writing good-ass roast jokes
[00:16:47] Occasionally bitch so check him out. He's also funny as hell and he's on this season
[00:16:52] Yeah, I was on the New York episode. I wasn't on the tournament. Who did you fight? Yamanica
[00:16:56] Oh, yeah, I think you know what I want to be on who'd be on that show the Nick
[00:17:02] They have comedians on there pop it was on it
[00:17:05] It's on my it's my dive the same name as the show you can't copyright a title
[00:17:08] So that could be like the title of your reality show does just follows you around you can't copy write a title
[00:17:13] No, so I could have a show called the sopranos
[00:17:16] I feel like there's so bad there's got to be a million shitty long
[00:17:32] The sopranos and they don't understand why it's so funny. Yeah, absolutely
[00:17:37] There was this I told you about Mike diesel fucking shooting that sketch that one time when I come in a wise acres and his fucking
[00:17:43] Mike diesel and Basil white and like lead on some other fat moron and they're like shooting a sketch where they fuck had all this spaghetti made
[00:17:51] They're sitting there like fucking pretending to be mobsters like he's looking past the regga Tony or whatever
[00:17:56] And it's I couldn't there's no discernible jokes in the sketch or whatever and afterwards
[00:18:01] Diesel's just walked around pasta sauce all of his fucking stupid face and he's like, yeah
[00:18:06] We're actually we're gonna go viral with this, you know, it's like 2004 2005 is no idea what that term means
[00:18:12] Yeah, we're actually planning on this going viral
[00:18:15] So that's where most of the popularity is gonna come from this going viral. We're gonna put it on YouTube
[00:18:23] Wait, so he wait was Basil white the the guy that the autistic guy. That's a detective ass name
[00:18:30] Yeah, Basil was Basil's this he was like another big fat wise acres guy that we do these awful. Oh, yeah
[00:18:39] And it was just like so smug and never not particularly condescending but very much like a smug guy who like taught comedy and
[00:18:47] Just wasn't you know, particularly good at it
[00:18:50] We gotta fill that sketch where we eat a bunch of pasta. Yeah, I mean if we did it, it would be ironic. Yeah
[00:18:57] Yeah, that's the key. I'm not even kidding. We literally recognize that you have no ability to write any kind of scripted comedy
[00:19:04] Well, thanks a lot. I just want to thank combination for all the really positive supportive comments
[00:19:09] We got on our on the pilot episode the come town web series which dropped yesterday
[00:19:14] We were we honestly it took us six months to write that and I was actually there the whole time
[00:19:18] But it was part of the the humor. Yeah, yeah, that I wasn't on camera. I mean, it's probably gonna be four or five more episodes
[00:19:25] By the time this airs. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's a good point. It's it's serialized is a pickup where episode one left off
[00:19:35] We have like yeah, we don't want to spoil anything
[00:19:37] But one of the characters finds out they have lung cancer
[00:19:40] So they start everything to sell meth they quit their job as a chemistry teacher to sell meth
[00:19:44] It might be because you can't copyright the script for a show
[00:19:57] You want to be my meth sales, yeah, so basically my character his name is Walter Tony's a pronto wife
[00:20:08] Yeah, my character Omar little will come in and assassinate you in any moment he shoots him and then he goes
[00:20:20] Guys we really got we're really on something here
[00:20:23] Fuck you know, we should have we should have a guy on our podcast that says baba booey
[00:20:29] You know with the origins of Baba booey the story that no it was a guy saying something fucked up one time
[00:20:35] And they kept a joke going for 30 years. I thought Baba booey was a guy Baba booey is a guy became his name
[00:20:42] He became his name. Yeah, he was a producer on the show
[00:20:45] Yeah, it was a I forget who what the guy's actual name was but he fucking like he I mean
[00:20:50] He was the producer of the show right? What's his fucking real name Steve something? Yeah, yeah
[00:20:54] I like black hair and big teeth. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's a producer on the show and he was fucking bragging about buying these like
[00:21:00] Animation sells, you know at like auction or something like Disney and he's spending all his money on them
[00:21:07] And he's going through all of me's like oh look this one's Baba booey and it's like some donkey his name's not Baba booey at all
[00:21:13] Like you just spent all his money, you know fuck. Yeah, so they start calling Baba booey and that's where that joke
[00:21:18] That's so that's how it's done was like I'm gonna pay you a hundred million dollars for the every year for the rest of your life
[00:21:26] Now that's a dream gig. Yeah, dude sternous legends. That show is so good. Oh, yeah, it's the best
[00:21:33] We've kind of modeled art show. Yeah, we're like the heirs to stern. Yeah
[00:21:39] The new yeah, we need to get a fucking we have porn stars coming here and just have them like squirt all over the floor
[00:21:46] They're not even on Mike. Yeah, make them to Amber's coming home
[00:21:50] And there's just a woman in the corner. It's like now. Why don't you play with your breasts there for a second
[00:21:54] I play with your pussy and your breasts. That's great. Well, why don't you shove the trombone in your pussy?
[00:22:08] We got a guy who's made himself mentally retarded from crack cocaine and he's gonna eat a black woman's turd out of the strippers pussy
[00:22:20] Brilliant and then later we got a tiny dick contest. We have 15 men from Long Island
[00:22:26] That are gonna show how small their dicks are that one isn't even a joke at all. That's all
[00:22:33] Like yeah, I got micro penis, you know, it's okay here
[00:22:38] It is and they just show their fucking old house big fit
[00:22:43] That's not like it's hard enough to find 15 guys with micro penis and then to find 15 of those guys who were like
[00:22:50] I'd do anything for Howard. Yeah, like they did that
[00:22:54] Governor of Jersey. Yeah, no he ran for mayor of New York
[00:22:57] And then he dropped out because he thought he was gonna win
[00:22:59] That's awesome and he was like he respected it too much to go through it
[00:23:03] He literally would have he should have he should have followed through on that it would have been great
[00:23:08] The whole city would have been like, you know, titties
[00:23:11] Yeah, cool shit everyone would have gotten breast implants
[00:23:18] Universal healthcare, but only it only covers breast. Did you guys when you're a little little kids ever jack off to Howard Stern on
[00:23:27] Okay, yeah JP. How about you? Yeah, that's that's early bait material
[00:23:33] Some of the only stuff that was on if you didn't have HBO. Oh, yeah, and the girls gone wild
[00:23:37] Commercial yeah, oh yeah comedy central. Yeah, show me where babies feed. It was awesome
[00:23:45] I think Stanhope says that's the deal drucks. Yeah, show me where babies
[00:23:49] And she pulls her tits out. It was awesome. That was a revolution in tit blur like the minute real subtle
[00:23:56] You saw most of the tip. Yeah, it wasn't like cops where you saw just it was a jumbled computer mess
[00:24:01] You know, you don't know if you could get away with shit
[00:24:04] Sort of FCC thing where if you face swap the titties in the pussy
[00:24:08] So it was just two pussies of a bunch of bunches in front of nipples
[00:24:11] But then the the pussy was a nipple. I would love to be at that fucking FCC hearing like that's that that Senate
[00:24:24] What I don't understand is why one man can't revolutionize the way America beats off
[00:24:30] Now if you excuse me I have a business to run because I am an American
[00:24:39] Is that how cameras used to work? Yeah, like light bulbs are just explode. Yeah. Yeah, that's every picture one light bulb
[00:24:46] Yeah, you need six. Yeah, you'd be such a fucking like bright light that they would blow out the filament. Wow. Yeah
[00:24:54] Wouldn't visually I wouldn't like to look at it a tit with a pussy instead of a nipple
[00:24:59] But I would love to fuck one you that would be awesome dude a titty with a pussy on it. It's not intimate
[00:25:06] It's too much gear. Are you guys out of your minds?
[00:25:09] You don't like titty fucking we talked about this. I do not like to be fucking crazy. It's the time
[00:25:15] You have no idea. How about you just get like oh
[00:25:18] nipples installed on your thighs, which are already like a woman's press
[00:25:25] I know it could be like the hot new thing in Brooklyn that everyone's into it. I would I fucking
[00:25:32] Yeah, I could probably do that. Yeah, honestly though my my thighs are pretty soft
[00:25:36] But they just have a little bit of hair. I guess I could wax them. Yeah, you should
[00:25:46] I'm a speed skater. I'm Apollo have you considered for a diet exercise?
[00:25:51] Swimming like doing laughs suck it swimming you suck it swimming. What about synchronized swimming?
[00:25:58] But not actual swimming you should do laps. I think that's probably good exercise
[00:26:02] I'm gonna go do laps. Maybe the at the Astoria pool. There's no story pool. JP you see like
[00:26:11] You go to Equinox no no go to a blink baby. You got a real job you work for like Wall Street
[00:26:17] Yeah, I got one of them Wall Street jobs. They just found out that I do roast battles, which is pretty uncomfortable
[00:26:22] I got a phone call from my boss and she was laughing at me and she was like well congratulations
[00:26:28] What are you gonna do now? Okay, so as long as you guys are cool with me insulting a large black woman on TV
[00:26:32] Yeah, I'm just gonna keep working here to fire me. Yeah 100% there. Okay with it
[00:26:37] Isn't that the business model Wall Street? You just steal from large black women some way well
[00:26:46] What was that money does never see never sleeps it's true accepted 5 p.m. When the markets close
[00:26:53] How much how much coke have you done in the office? I've never done any blow and I feel just kind of let down wait
[00:26:59] Never in your life. Are you a stock burger? You just like an actuator now. I'm like a back office guy
[00:27:04] I do like compliance making sure we don't send money to Iran. Oh, okay, well interesting, but it's not nearly that exciting
[00:27:12] It's it's very very boring. Yeah, did you go to school for numbers?
[00:27:15] I know I'm actually pretty bad at numbers
[00:27:18] Actually, I went to school. It's like a white person. I'm just a white person
[00:27:28] You know how that's easy to do for most people in America. That's how it is
[00:27:32] I just imagine you going into that office like the pursuit of happiness guy with your son and locking yourself in the bathroom
[00:27:39] No, he's he got the job instead of the pursuit of I know what I'm saying like imagine if
[00:27:44] You know a white white person that they don't have to do
[00:27:50] Instead of a son. I just had a bow tie and they hired me
[00:27:54] You've been inside of Brooks Brothers enough times to get the job. He left his son in the bathroom
[00:27:59] Well, he went for the interview. Is that what happened in that movie? I don't know. I only saw the trailer
[00:28:04] I don't know anything about this. I sleep in a bathroom. That's I think that's what that's oh, yeah
[00:28:09] Spell happiness wrong to yeah, no, it's it's on purpose. It's to make fun of Chinese people. Yeah
[00:28:17] They just throw an extra Ellen what if it's just like the least woke movie of all time. Yeah, it's hilariously problematic
[00:28:22] I'm trying to get this job at the racism factory
[00:28:27] I've done come up with the best slurs for Chinese people y'all done never done seeing y'all see these plunkos
[00:28:34] Run around plunkos is good plunkos in the bed
[00:28:38] That sounds like like an Eastern European type of Chinese, you know, yeah, yeah like a like a Kazakh would be a fun
[00:28:59] Polynesian person like or an op Pacific Island. I keep plunking in the water when they try surf
[00:29:03] Yeah, yeah, yeah, they go and plunkos. Yeah. Yeah, is there yeah?
[00:29:08] Well water scares them. I was joking around with a friend of mine about the Australian refugees where I was like
[00:29:14] Yeah, they're trying to send over 2,000 riffos
[00:29:18] Refays my friend my friends from Melbourne was like, how'd you know that? I was like what are you talking about?
[00:29:24] He's like, yeah, it's what we call riff you
[00:29:26] We just stay it out to the end of it. We just add oh at the end. Yeah
[00:29:30] So wait anyway about Obama Obama said we could see never like 2,000 riffos
[00:29:40] Donald the police don't say King gurus. That's the only slayer. We don't say yeah, what do you some sort of sailor?
[00:29:48] Have you ever tossed a midget onto with onto a velcro?
[00:29:51] God, I saw it saw Wolf of Wall Street. I was like I wish all this stuff was still true. It's so good
[00:29:57] That how great is it that Aaron Glazers is that movie? Oh shit?
[00:30:02] He's just a guy in the background. Let me find out later that he was method acting
[00:30:10] Yeah, I guess I'm gonna do it do another cut and just like
[00:30:16] Photoshop of vagina over his face in the scene that he's in
[00:30:23] Fuck man. I'm fucked up from being Oklahoma diet for 48 hours. Yeah, what did you eat down there?
[00:30:31] No food you guys have you done that place that casino dude?
[00:30:35] It is the shittiest buffet I've ever been to in my entire life, but it's so bad. You're like, oh
[00:30:40] I gotta see what's pretty funny. Yeah, I gotta fucking put this sushi that has gelatin in my fucking body
[00:30:46] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, well, it's all it's all ethnically divided
[00:30:58] Matrotators and they put skills in it so you can taste the rainbow
[00:31:03] Isn't one that's just like other well Italian just has like yeah
[00:31:14] They didn't have the rights to lasagna. Yeah, dude the food there was fucking
[00:31:18] She the steaks were good steak. Yeah, just killer. Well. They have a nicer restaurant in there for you know
[00:31:24] The high rollers. Yeah, the people that are on them big time slots. You win some dough and I don't see no
[00:31:30] I don't gamble. I'm not I don't gamble either. That's why that shit was fucking I played
[00:31:33] I played the slots for like five seconds and I'm like this does nothing for me. Yeah, you just you know you lose money
[00:31:39] It's a fucking business you had 20 dollars you know how to play poker. You know how to fucking play blackjack
[00:31:45] There's no reason to go to a fucking casino. Yeah, I'm trying to set up a poker night. Hell. Yeah, you play poker
[00:31:51] Absolutely. Yeah, a little hold on. Yeah, I I was on a cruise ship and they had a little casino on board
[00:31:57] And I went to the slot machine and I didn't know how to use it
[00:32:00] So I just like press the button one time and I had no idea what happened and then like six weeks later
[00:32:04] I got a check in the mail from carnival crews for like $17 that I won
[00:32:11] You're rich as fuck. That's how it's done. Yeah, dude. Just don't know what you're doing
[00:32:16] Yeah, I went to the MGM Grand in Detroit and
[00:32:19] The casinos in Detroit. Yeah, it's just the GM grand
[00:32:25] That wasn't a casino that was an assembly. Yeah, I went to the assembly plant and it's a gamble whether you get your paycheck or no
[00:32:34] Busted my job. I'm just pulling levers for some like the fuck is wrong. These slots some guys dick is stuck in a machine
[00:32:51] Behind a fucking outside that was an outdoors now is inside dude. It was inside the building
[00:32:57] I think it was inside the building, but it was oh, yeah, no those are your two options inside or outside
[00:33:06] spectrum of inside and outside. Yeah, it was kind of an outside sex scene
[00:33:09] No, what do you mean kind of an outside?
[00:33:11] I think it's fucking piece of shit. I think it was kind of you do you know what I'm saying is that an in a gazebo?
[00:33:16] No, it was like it was next to shelves, right?
[00:33:19] Didn't they fuck the shelves makes it near outside. Yeah, like outdoor shelves
[00:33:25] They're near a window is that what you mean? Maybe that's an argument. Yeah, I don't know if there's a window
[00:33:30] I still think they were outside the hardest I've ever laughed. I was in I was in Home Depot with my friend Matt one time
[00:33:37] Yeah, I don't know why he doesn't really look like a Home Depot employee
[00:33:40] But he's like a black guy and this fucking like older white lady comes up to him and she's like excuse me
[00:33:48] She had like two things in her hand. She's like do you have more of these and Matt like without a beat?
[00:33:52] He's just smiling and he's like oh, yeah sure follow me
[00:33:54] And I watch him and he walks in the aisle and this woman starts following him
[00:33:58] And then I'm like on the other side of the aisles
[00:34:01] And I see him just sort of walk this way and this lady's following him and he just keeps walking all the way to the other end of the
[00:34:06] Store and like eventually she just stops following him
[00:34:14] Just make this dumb bitch like follow him halfway across the store when like what she was asking for was like literally right in front of us
[00:34:22] He's like oh, yeah, sure, but that no problem. Follow me. I didn't miss a bitch. No
[00:34:28] Marco like a mark echo fucking sweat suit. He's like excuse me
[00:34:35] Dad man, this shit was so fucking funny. I love that shit. Yeah, dude. There was this guy
[00:34:39] I forget where we were I think we were like crispy cream or something and there was like a worker whose name was
[00:34:45] Dennis but spelled with one end and I was like yeah
[00:34:49] I was like I was like I was I called this guy Dines and like a meat before he could even like finish processing when I was
[00:34:55] Saying he was like what's up man? Dines is Dines right? I was wondering if
[00:34:58] I think I just had this dumb look on his face
[00:35:06] Was that man Dines is Dines right? Yeah, so I was wondering if can we get to one of these an extra one
[00:35:13] Fuck oh we need more backup name tags for deenas. Yeah, he's getting vandalized. My son's name is also Dines
[00:35:20] Hey guys hilarious Dines with the sweet penis. Yeah, that's what I would be named if I was named Dines
[00:35:29] Man, I'm getting hungry again. What do you want to eat my dude? I don't know. I just said I had pizza for breakfast
[00:35:35] Yeah, I know my fucking stomach just hurts dude. Yeah, there wasn't any vegetables
[00:35:40] Everyone was sad in that casino. I'm trying but it's not going good. I
[00:35:45] Need to drink more coffee. I think I don't think my coffee levels are fucked up
[00:35:52] Yeah, why I got used to drinking two pots a day you really
[00:35:58] You're the doctor say you should have six pots a day. That's very skin to Navy. Yeah
[00:36:04] Well, this this scans are the most healthy people in the world absolutely dude. They're just blonde and fucking
[00:36:10] Yeah, it's a good health. They all wrote a work. Yeah, you know, this was kind of funny about like the Nazi like they're the master race thing is
[00:36:22] You know you look at him and you look at him and you're like well, they are right. That is the man other way
[00:36:29] Doeyer than they were projected. Yeah in film. Oh, no, just little people in little shorts on bikes
[00:36:34] Yeah, leather shorts. That's the master race. No, not Germans the fucking Scandinavians. Well, that's all Nazi propaganda
[00:36:41] It was like that's how you look like, you know, that's not you right. There's no German people
[00:36:46] Oh, it's for that much metal. You're not the master race. Yeah, you're saying that the I grew with that black metal is trash
[00:36:52] Oh, yeah, it's bad. It's very bad, but wait, so you're saying that the Scandinavian's are the master race. Yeah
[00:36:57] Well, that's what they're all their problem
[00:36:59] Yeah, they were pretending Jesse Owens beat everyone at the Olympics. Yeah, that's good at high people master
[00:37:05] That's why I'm saying no, but brah people are on yeah, people are OP in the in the in the athletics category
[00:37:13] Okay, no, dude. We got Neil deGrasse Tyson to yeah, but he's shit at sports. He's just a nerd
[00:37:18] He was a wrestler. He was strong. Yeah, he was you see him back in the day. He's that picture him playing base
[00:37:40] Yeah, I'm going black as master race. Yeah, yeah, of course
[00:37:44] They got like the coolest like culturally speaking everyone tries to just ape their shit, right?
[00:37:49] But that wouldn't have happened if they weren't like because they became yeah, they became that way because they were pressed
[00:37:54] Yeah, but Africans are I mean Africans are just silly. That's true. Yeah, they're pretty good. Yeah, I mean Africans are like
[00:38:03] Like in terms of coolness. They're on par with Persians and like absolutely an Italian Italians. Yeah, yeah, you're right. They're funny
[00:38:13] Yeah, right no, they're like they're like comparable
[00:38:17] They're comparable to Persians where there may be like kind of cool, but still like good guy. Yeah, right exactly
[00:38:23] Real Africans just well Persians are like they're obsessed with the club and fucking mering
[00:38:28] Yeah, yeah, Africans are like that. Yeah, right like and weapons and master Africans Africans are basically the Persians that were sandals
[00:38:36] Persians were sandals no, no, they were dress shoes. They were like yeah, yo, I
[00:38:41] Know I saw a movie the other day. Do you remember dress sandals? No, do you remember they were like a town?
[00:38:47] I do oh, yeah, yeah, but there's like mom's word out
[00:38:51] Yeah, and it was like you know you you wear a full suit with the dress sandals. I damn it
[00:38:56] They really didn't a double-breasted suit, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah, I watch that movie dress to kill the Brian Palmer movie
[00:39:02] I haven't seen there's a the cop is wearing dress sandals the power move to be exposed in meetings
[00:39:08] I should do that on the Wall Street. I do I suck my own toes
[00:39:15] Yeah, like a baby wasn't that that SNL sketch is the baby in the bid the guy just as the physics of a baby
[00:39:22] Yeah, trying to pick up the phone and just
[00:39:29] Yeah, what's your face is Sean Spicer when the the podium starts going rogue and crud that's the hardest I've laughed at
[00:39:35] Us and I'm like fine. Yeah, I didn't watch it. It's everyone's saying it's really good. Yeah, I should probably watch it
[00:39:45] Stevens to go all movies. Yeah, you know, I gotta catch it. The sound of music
[00:39:52] Just guys shit. Yeah guys shit, dude, you know, what was that TV show about like the accidents the terrible maximum exposure?
[00:39:58] Yeah, yeah, oh that was my shit. We talked about that on the podcast
[00:40:02] It was real TV. It was maximum exposure and then it became real TV. You're happy TV. No, that was a sketch show
[00:40:08] You're gonna be some more on hello. Yeah, yeah, big cell phone
[00:40:15] That was good as shit was hilarious with that big cell phone thing didn't make sense. Why would you need to scream into it?
[00:40:21] Well, cuz it's a big cell phone big dude. No
[00:40:25] No, man, it doesn't track it's fucking bullshit. That's bad sketch writing
[00:40:30] That's good ever Dell clothes says if you have a big phone you don't need to yell if you
[00:40:35] I saw YouTube ad for a master class on creating digital music by dead mouse that plays before YouTube videos
[00:40:42] He's like, you know, you want to fucking make music
[00:40:45] I'm fucking make music don't be a fucking bitch
[00:40:47] I don't make you know, so you can sit at home and not make the fucking music or you can fucking make the music you
[00:40:53] Bitch idiot curse bros like YouTube master class
[00:40:58] Spinning over that you bullied into making shitty music
[00:41:02] Silicon Valley like last year some word guide out that like cursing makes your message more effective and now every idiot with a drone
[00:41:09] Is putting that like they're in their ads. We're seeing the keynote body guy. No
[00:41:13] He's like this super jacked Canadian bro, and he's like you're doing all your fucking exercises fucking wrong
[00:41:20] If you want to stop working out like a fucking retard do it like
[00:41:22] Dude, I'm actually kind of intrigued. Yeah, I want to know why what I'm doing well
[00:41:28] I think there was an article you're right probably two years ago
[00:41:30] That said people that curse a lot are more trustworthy. Yeah, that's like a legend as somebody that curses all the time
[00:41:35] I can guarantee you I am not trustworthy. Yeah, I just don't know how to speak
[00:41:39] Yeah, it's like also I don't know how to articulate the words their thoughts in my head
[00:41:44] So I have to say fuck every other sentence also that's not true
[00:41:48] Yeah, how many fucking stupid poor like trash white trash curses all the time. That's more trustworthy people little fucking yeah
[00:41:56] Excuse me. I was wondering if you could fucking let me borrow your fucking cell phone for a second. Yeah
[00:42:04] You get better reception. Yeah, let me see your keys real quick. Yeah, I'm not sure look at him. Yeah
[00:42:10] Yo, I saw this David Blaine fucking shit. I want to recreate it, but you gotta give me $20
[00:42:15] You guys will appreciate this being from Baltimore when I was in I was in Baltimore on a field trip like in high school
[00:42:21] Yeah, there's this guy by the inner harbor this white guy with like a full Sean John denim suit on thank you and like
[00:42:29] Thank you, and then he asked my eighth-grade friend
[00:42:32] Can I use your cell phone and my friend just gives him his cell phone to talk to you for like three minutes
[00:42:38] He starts chatting with his mom and he's like now talk to daddy. No mo daddy ass. Oh
[00:42:52] Cetchup that's so awesome that wasn't a scam
[00:43:02] How great it would be if it's like he takes the phone and then you just hear you've reached AOL movie phone
[00:43:18] You know this year hot woman or than a muffa that Seinfeld when Kramer was pretending to be movie phone that was awesome
[00:43:24] Yeah, why don't you just tell me what movie?
[00:43:30] Remember having a call that shit, and dude damn different times boys
[00:43:34] Well, I remember looking up movie times in the paper
[00:43:36] I never did use movie phone that was like that was like a weird future thing for me
[00:43:42] Movies to use to go see three movies or something pay for the first one then like look in the paper with the time
[00:43:47] No, so I would always just go to the movies with my mom
[00:43:50] My friend Alex was like go see three movies
[00:43:52] Yeah, I did that one time my friends for the first time after like only going with my parents like this is so dirty
[00:43:57] What we're doing yeah, we're you hard very very
[00:44:02] But we saw like we see the fucking crashing tiger hit dragon the never seen the mummy
[00:44:09] Seen it scorpion. I would get I would get bored. I went I went to two movies in a row one time
[00:44:14] I'm like I can never do this again. Yeah, I gotta be hungover shit and and like high and just eating like seamless
[00:44:20] All fucking day, you know like I watch five movies on a hungover day, but yeah, you know if I'm feeling good
[00:44:25] I don't know what I watch I'll watch like fucking four or five movies in a day
[00:44:29] But you haven't seen anything. Yeah, I'm not going to the theater. I can't sit in a theater all day long
[00:44:34] It's kind of fun. I mean I just want to eat all that popcorn. I've never walked out of a movie
[00:44:41] I've fucking I've walked out of one movie ever and is because my friend forced me to walk out with him
[00:44:46] I I for whatever reason like my my friend Justin his parents took us to the movies and they went to see George of the jungle
[00:44:57] And we went to see house of sand and fog
[00:45:01] Yeah, I think I think that's what it was
[00:45:03] I think they took his like little sister to see George of the jungle and we're like we're not fucking watching this
[00:45:08] So we had to see how I think I was like let's go see how's the sand and fog and I was like not enough fog we're walking up
[00:45:16] Even worse than that we're watching and there was like one sexy image Jennifer Connolly that came and went and he was like
[00:45:22] Well, we're not gonna see your naked at this point. It's not gonna happen
[00:45:25] Let's leave it just like gets up and like drags me with him and I'm like I'm watching this
[00:45:30] What did you do for the rest of it? I don't know. We just went out to lobby there was some
[00:45:34] That kid was such a fucking like I was a bad kid, but that kid was just a fucking piece of shit
[00:45:39] He was adopted and so he was like by the time he was 10
[00:45:42] He was like 6 to bigger than his parents, you know
[00:45:45] Hell yeah morbidly obese hell. He's just an absolute fucking bully and he was so mean that it was so funny
[00:45:51] How felt like his sister had this like antique dollhouse
[00:45:54] I remember in the basement and Justin just had a crowbar one day that he was like going around with you
[00:45:59] See him like fucking weighing the crowbar in his hands, you know, he's gonna do something bad and then fucking he's looking at the dollhouse
[00:46:06] And he's like hello anybody home and just
[00:46:17] And he's just fucking wiggling the crowbar just destroying the tall house just smashing out all the windows
[00:46:29] He's like cool. We're supposed to clean this shit up. You know, you leave a toys out
[00:46:37] She comes down there and she's seeing and she's like crying her eyes out and I'm fucking like hyperventilating laughing
[00:46:43] She goes to the parents you're like there's nothing
[00:46:48] I'm fucking considering such a piece of shit to witness somebody just operate with look
[00:46:53] You can see the look how naked this guy is my street. He's got no blinds. Oh my god. This guy
[00:47:02] Whoa that girl's hot. Oh, yeah, she's got big tits. She's hot. Why are they have curtains?
[00:47:10] They're closing their clothes on that no, no, no put your tail. That was tight
[00:47:15] This is like that movie rear with this like sign fell. That's insane. I guess they didn't realize it. Can you see these people amber?
[00:47:22] Well, I just missed his dick. Oh, she's yeah. He's got it. He's got a nice song
[00:47:32] You're on our podcast really yeah, he's walking down the hall jacket. He's taking a holy gazazz hilarious
[00:47:41] He's doing what it is they're gonna call the police on us. Yeah, probably yeah
[00:47:45] Yeah, because that guy just looked and saw you staring through the window like a fucking 12 year old. Yeah
[00:47:55] That's why I said like blinds man. Yeah, they have curtains anyhow so this fight
[00:48:00] You go over there like I also have sex. He's trash and he's trash in this girl stuff
[00:48:04] I'm dying laughing. It's like the fun. Oh one time his parents brought us to Cirque du Soleil
[00:48:09] Which was a mistake? I don't know why they fucking you know if they're shitty
[00:48:13] Culturally fucking 12 year old son bring him to Cirque du Soleil
[00:48:18] And Justin's sitting there the entire time chewing like he got a bag of skittles
[00:48:23] He's doing the skittles up and spitting them like forward into the dark
[00:48:27] And we can't see where they're going but just the idea of him and he used to do this all the time
[00:48:30] We go to movie theaters and he'd spit and throw shit at people in front of us. What a must
[00:48:35] Yeah, he was a back guy. What is he doing now? Uh, I don't know he's probably dead. Anyhow, so
[00:48:40] Back this fucking uh, yeah, they're back. It's just the guy though. Oh come on. So it's uh
[00:48:48] He's spitting candy the entire fucking time and then uh, we get to the the end of Cirque du Soleil
[00:48:55] And we're walking through the lobby area. We just hear like him. There he is. That's the guy
[00:49:00] This fucking middle-aged woman and she's with her husband the husband looks pissed off and she's like security. Where's the kerny?
[00:49:06] And she realizes that it's a boy. It's just a very large boy
[00:49:11] And she's like, oh, we want a very powerful boy in the lobby when you're dead
[00:49:15] She fucking turns around. He's like he's spitting all this candy stuck in her
[00:49:19] Oh, he's the father's like one of those brownies. Yeah, the boat
[00:49:26] They get in his face and they try to you know, they realize they can't do anything because he's a 12 year old boy
[00:49:32] There's like you're gonna apologize and he's like fuck you
[00:49:38] And the fucking can't do anything and he just fucking walks out. Was this your apprenticeship?
[00:49:43] Yeah, no, he was I fucking hated that kid
[00:49:45] Really? Why are you friends with him because his mom was my mom's boss?
[00:49:50] Oh, so I had the fucking hangout. Oh, that's terrible. Yeah, where's your mom working at the time?
[00:49:55] NIH she was like a secretary and like she got
[00:49:59] She got because the kid was he was he went to the daycare center my mom worked at
[00:50:05] So that's like how they and then she got him the job because it was like oh well our children could be friends or whatever
[00:50:10] Yeah, rutal. So you were the hook. Yeah, I mean he wasn't a dick all the time. I mean granted his parents were like research scientists
[00:50:17] Yeah, yeah, and then they adopted this fucking monster. Yeah, where they adopt him from?
[00:50:28] Hot local adopt. Yeah, is it a local adopt? Is it a fucking was he from somewhere else? I don't know. I can't see why yeah
[00:50:34] He was a white he was white mostly white. I guess nice. You know, I assume I assume anytime somebody's adopted
[00:50:40] You're always part, you know, not Cherokee. Yeah, well actually you did claim to be part Cherokee
[00:50:45] My friend my friend Ethan this small Jew
[00:50:50] He had an adopted brother from like lat v or some shit and he just had and Ethan was just talking about his whole life
[00:50:59] He just like you just had such better jeans than it was just like a muscular fucking
[00:51:04] Sexy European Jew terrible and it was just like and Ethan was just like this mush
[00:51:09] I'm just wondering human being with a little mistake. I knew a guy like that. He was a twin
[00:51:13] And he like but his brother was just like three inches taller. What a little better in every way
[00:51:19] No, he wasn't adopted. He just no that's so much worse
[00:51:23] You have the exact same DNA and something you're doing. Yeah, he's bullshit. It's clearly not your jeans
[00:51:30] It's clearly the way you're just slightly closer to a microwave when you're born
[00:51:34] Yeah, you're a little bit fucked up. He's just kicking your ass in the womb
[00:51:39] He was taking all your shit, dude. Yeah
[00:51:41] Fuck what are you what are your twin bros up to today, dude?
[00:51:44] There's one more successful than the other. I think the kid who was like the inferior one is like working for the CIA now
[00:51:50] Oh, that's cool. Try to take try to make sure Trump dies in jail
[00:51:56] Someone tweeted that the other day like a picture of him. It was like he will die in jail
[00:52:02] We're never gonna have that satisfaction. He's gonna be president for 12 years
[00:52:09] Hell yeah, president the rest of our lives. I'm kind of disappointed that they that the naked couple has left the window
[00:52:17] It's weird because whenever you see a naked person real life. You're like, why am I not fucking them?
[00:52:25] If you're new to round me, I should be allowed to fuck you. That's the rule
[00:52:28] I saw that I work I can do it around you. Yeah, like you just go knock on the door
[00:52:35] That's what I was saying. We should go over there and ask the fuck
[00:52:38] Get on the girl. You guys can we also fuck you. Hey got your message
[00:52:47] I saw a cross there's like a building right next to my building very close and I looked across the way
[00:52:51] And it took me like five seconds to figure out what I was seeing but it was a woman like getting into the shower
[00:52:54] She's naked nice. Do you know I was like sitting at work. I was like
[00:53:00] What the fuck these people aren't even this on a high-rise or on like the second floor that
[00:53:05] They're walking around. It's evening. There's no way you they're on their lights are on. I didn't could not be better
[00:53:11] What the fuck are you doing? He's doing pilates on the windowsill
[00:53:17] I don't like him dude. I don't like this guy. I've decided I don't like him
[00:53:20] I don't like him either. No, he's like one of those girls are
[00:53:23] Like she had a big juicy, but he's like a new age kind of guy
[00:53:27] You know he's into like spirituality and I kind of know this about him. I just know
[00:53:33] He's just one of those guys that your girlfriend like leaves you for you know a DJ and your close best friend
[00:53:39] Yeah, DJ and your best friend, you know just normal shit like that that happens to everyone
[00:53:45] They get married and travel the world together, you know, it's just regular
[00:53:51] Well, you have a series of unfulfilling relationships with
[00:53:55] Either girls that kind of look like her
[00:53:57] You're the kind of like her just like four or five different girls that kind of look like her
[00:54:02] That's cold as ice. That's pretty cool. I mean just
[00:54:06] Regular ass shit like that regular shit like that guy stuff
[00:54:11] Just guy talk just fucking beating off chive on guys. I wish you could beat off your heart
[00:54:15] I love I love the child. I wish you could just beat off your heart
[00:54:18] It would be a cool character a character named chive on martin
[00:54:28] That's you mean come on dude. That's a great character chive on martin
[00:54:36] We should get that fucking naked guy on the podcast. We should miss you dude because he's fucking
[00:54:41] Light his ass up. He like docks on the door wearing a full suit and we're like take it off. Take it off dude
[00:54:45] Take that fucking suit off you're not gonna be a fucking podcast with eddy clothes on your piece of shit
[00:54:51] We're gonna make fun of you. You have a big dick. I didn't get to see you had a big dick bigger than yours
[00:54:55] I mean it was like post fuck. So it was probably like oh, yeah that real juiced up post fuck. Yeah
[00:54:59] That's the best that's the best you're the only time I look at my penis
[00:55:03] Otherwise, I just I I closed my eyes anytime I have to I look at mine
[00:55:09] Shower you do yeah, I'll read the russian literature and I only look at my dick when it's completely shriveled
[00:55:17] At the shivits you go into like the hottest room and then they have this freeze the hottest room for you the one with all the men in it
[00:55:25] Yeah, bro. You're good. You're good. I'm on a gun that says good
[00:55:31] I'm gonna fucking buy an airsoft gun and I'm gonna put it get a yack back in an airsoft gun and rig the trigger
[00:55:39] No, I was home loaned to I want one of those things what yeah
[00:55:45] I want one of those guns that the Joker had that said bang, but it says you're gay. Yeah, I want it visual
[00:55:49] That would be pretty easy to make those are these are pretty easy to make it's makeup dude. Oh whatever. Yo, I'm not even gonna
[00:55:55] It's your gay your gay. That's what the gas actually did the timber and batman is it made the whole town get
[00:56:01] Yeah, they're smiling just made the parade better. Yeah, yeah
[00:56:08] Yeah, the flow game really stepped up well my joke after dark night came out that I used to do it open mics that no one ever
[00:56:13] Laugh at is doing a mic Joker impression where I say uh, you want to know how I got these scars
[00:56:21] And then you point to the scars on the side of his mouth he goes
[00:56:27] And then you create the visual that that's the dick was so wide it ripped his face open
[00:56:32] That's pretty good. Yeah, but in very people didn't laugh because that's how Heath Ledger died
[00:56:36] And they weren't ready to process it is
[00:56:39] We're gonna make try to suck off a fire hydress. He tried to do
[00:56:44] Yeah, why was an Olsen's twin involved? They're just found him dead one of the Olsen's yeah texting
[00:56:54] Wait, so Olsen and then uncle Jesse and uncle joey found him dead
[00:56:59] I'm still laughing about puppet about stop thinking
[00:57:05] High school dude runs a little bit fucking high school's rock rock doodle fucking
[00:57:14] In high school he was like a middle school and he was rockabilly. Yeah, he's like
[00:57:30] Palmade the palm made took all your hair out. Yeah, packing my my strikes in your shirt like yeah
[00:57:37] Is that a rockabilly? I thought it was like no rock abilities rock abilities like um
[00:57:41] Yeah, it's like the grease are ascetic, but then they listen to newer shit, right? It's not it's not all old rock and roll
[00:57:48] No, stop was like swing dance. Stop with like walking out of the upright base
[00:57:51] Rockabilly is a lot of crossover with that swing revival bullshit because all the south Austin is still like swing revival rockabilly guys
[00:57:58] So you know that guy Brian they were like rompers or what did not rob creepers? What are those fucking stupid big shoes called?
[00:58:05] Oh, they're like bowling kind of yeah, but then they've got like a platform on them. No, not spats
[00:58:10] What are they called creepers? Yeah creepers. Oh, I didn't know I didn't know that. Yeah, and then like and then like pearl snaps
[00:58:16] And like they have popadores pearl snap shirts. Okay. Yeah, stop you being a rockabilly kid in all black
[00:58:23] Middle school or high school is like me going to my all white middle school and having a huge pelly pelley jacket
[00:58:28] And a chain that's cool. That lasted a couple of years. That'd be awesome. Did you do that? I did you literally did do that
[00:58:38] Pele pele pele janky so nice. They named it twice. Yeah, the brand so nice
[00:58:44] Um, yeah, what happened? Do you remember the the band the the stray cats Brian sensor? Yeah, so he was his son
[00:58:52] There were two codis in my my kindergarten and that's gonna be it for today's episode
[00:58:59] Uh reach our time limit. So we had a lot of fun. We want to thank JP
[00:59:06] Follow us on twitter at JP underscore mcdad. Yeah, jp mcdade watch roast roast battle on uh comedy sent
[00:59:12] Pecisi with gilbert godfrey to april 14. Yeah
[00:59:15] Who doesn't know? Yeah, stay tuned for more of the web series. We'll get that going. Thanks guys. Thanks