Cum Town | Regular | 06/01/2017
[00:00:04] Adam what did you just say he was saying something before and we started I wasn't saying anything
[00:00:12] We're having a nice time here. We got some animal crackers for stavros. Yeah
[00:00:20] With M&F cookies which I fucking love animal crackers with your little dick it as hell and a fucking these aren't even the these aren't these are
[00:00:28] Off-brand animal crackers other zoo crackers
[00:00:36] Rule because you could do the fucking Isis beheading video with them. Let's shoot you can also make them fuck
[00:00:42] You can make them fuck you could fuck you mean you can kill them and make a heading video with them
[00:00:46] Well, you think just Muslims behead people. No, you just eat their heads off. You know, it's fun. Yeah, and what is that a what does that have to do with Isis?
[00:00:54] Be but headed Isis beheads and you could behead an animal cracker. Did they be head animals?
[00:01:01] They'd be had people they behead people, but you can act like oh gingerbread man. That's what you're
[00:01:08] Looks like we found out Adam doesn't know what animal crackers are
[00:01:13] That all animal that we are we are part of the animal
[00:01:16] Kingdom and animal crackers like that's what I call mixed race
[00:01:35] Couldn't help myself all right to leave the episode
[00:01:38] I was doing this I'm not worried about people coming after me. I'm just there. They already did
[00:01:46] That is a good fucking damn. I'm not mister. I've got problems in my DMS
[00:01:52] Yeah, well fuck you rapist is not a nice
[00:01:56] Well Adam, you know don't shoot the messenger. Don't shoot the messenger
[00:02:04] Oh fuck yeah, so zoo animal crackers. Yeah, I don't appreciate this man
[00:02:10] I'm hungry and it's by Austin the company that makes those little peanut butter sandwiches the peanut butter cracker sandwiches
[00:02:17] Oh, yeah, yeah, this square no the square one
[00:02:21] That's something is yeah, those are good, but they also make peanut butter sandwiches Austin farms
[00:02:32] It's the same guy that's founded the company in 1871. He's still alive really yeah
[00:02:38] He's like after I wasn't allowed to keep slaves anymore. I wanted to get into peanut butter crackers
[00:02:45] And so I sold a couple of my remaining slaves illegally to a Spaniard
[00:02:51] I bought this farm where I make snacks for children who don't need to buy their lunch with stamps
[00:03:10] Yeah, I don't want none of that out of context that's
[00:03:15] I want to see him kind of problem everyone knows Ralph already gone. Yeah. Oh, yeah Ralph's back. Hey, what's up?
[00:03:23] We should have drank some of this coffee Ralph in this do yeah
[00:03:41] Caribou it's like Starbucks, but for for you know, Alaska
[00:03:45] I don't know it doesn't matter. I feel like we've already broke the racist seal. Yeah, this has been a pretty racist one up top
[00:03:55] You know what I'm talking that's my that's my favorite because it you make other people do the work
[00:04:00] Of course you make them be racist and it's more than like you know like that Louis C. K
[00:04:05] Bit it's like when you say n-word then I have to say the actual n-word in my head. Yeah, it's like
[00:04:13] You're just not you thinking it you know what n-word I can hear the n-word and just think oh the n-word
[00:04:19] I can't dude really thinking it a lot right now. Yeah, you just have a southern man in a curdley uniform shouting
[00:04:25] That's 24 seven. Yeah, I can't have no relief
[00:04:30] But when you say a couple of you know what's that way. Yeah, you know somebody learn something about themselves. Yeah
[00:04:36] That was deep-seated biases, you know usually does the learning right. Oh, you know
[00:04:43] What yeah, I know what you're talking about a couple of couple of learnies over here. Yeah learning Sanders couple of
[00:04:54] Damn man, so we all went to see alien covenant and it was great. Yeah
[00:05:00] Yeah, it was so good probably the best of all of the Jurassic Park movies. Oh, yeah, mm-hmm
[00:05:10] Comes out. Yeah, and you see your tits for a second when the when the bus goes past
[00:05:17] Because past that cop car if you pause it you can see Sandra Bernhardt's tits
[00:05:22] Wait, can you actually see Sandra Bullock's tits and speed?
[00:05:27] Yes, nice. Yeah, have you ever seen the porn that's edited in the rescuers down under?
[00:05:34] It's very funny because you know like we're all that shit people said there were subliminal messages in Disney
[00:05:39] Yeah, and they show it to you and it's this bullshit, you know
[00:05:42] Well, there's one the priest in Little Mermaid looks like he has a boner. Yeah, but it's like most of them are yeah
[00:05:47] It's stuff like Aladdin whispering like take off your clothes. Yeah, you know which is sex in the clouds
[00:05:52] Yeah, and it's like the Lion King. Yeah, but that's it's like barely there. Yeah rescues down under somebody like just put pornography in the movie
[00:06:02] Like wait in the actual movie in the actual frame of port. No, it's not a frame
[00:06:07] It's like there's like a mine cart or something. I've never I seen the whole movie
[00:06:11] I've only seen the part with the porn in cool nice man and
[00:06:15] Because you know what when I was a little kid. I said fuck this imagination stuff. I'm jacking off
[00:06:20] Hell yeah, well, would you first jack off?
[00:06:33] Fucking did baby yoga my mom put me in baby Pilates and I learned how to suck my own dick
[00:06:45] You file it you still to this day file them off on your dick
[00:06:56] A lot of calluses an infant they had one of my ribs removed
[00:07:01] I wonder if babies could suck their own day. I think I think they probably could because they have such weird proportions
[00:07:07] They suck their feet easy. Yeah easy. Yeah, so I'm thinking they could probably get their own cock
[00:07:17] You could probably bend a little bit you could put a baby's cock in his mouth
[00:07:20] I don't know if he wants it. Can you guys self you guys can't self suck can you self suck?
[00:07:25] You know who can stop one time. I did it. I did it one time
[00:07:30] Yeah, when I was like around that itch yeah
[00:07:32] I'm jellie 14 or 14. It's easier before you like grow taller. Yeah, it was before the growth spirit
[00:07:41] Mmm. Tell them you have in your mouth for just a couple seconds. I didn't come in my mouth. It's weird
[00:07:49] Do it and then you're like this is gonna be great and you're like oh, I just have a dick
[00:07:57] It feels way more like you're sucking dick than you're getting your dick suck
[00:08:01] And this is gonna sound like a joke, but there was something like oddly familiar about it. That was triggering
[00:08:17] God damn dude. Wow this shit rules Nick was just so molested
[00:08:22] I just was so molested. It raped by a fucking comedian and a carpenter and they just all took turns. Nick was raped by a clown
[00:08:33] Like it just completely make this this baby completely makes sense
[00:08:39] Why are you documenting me being raped? Oh
[00:08:45] Fuck so yeah, so you you sucked cock is a baby
[00:08:48] Well my own maybe it's from TV. I was full. Yeah, that's what's familiar about it. I was folded up
[00:08:55] Mm-hmm like with my armadillo like defense mechanism
[00:08:59] I curl the ball and suck my nose could do yeah incredible if you see a video of that
[00:09:04] Amazing they just turned into a basketball
[00:09:06] Yeah, I don't know where I would be cool if you could roll up like that was your power to roll up and start sucking your own day
[00:09:11] I covered an armor just a wheel going through the street
[00:09:22] That's why it's the state animal of Texas
[00:09:26] Texans love self-sauffs, so it was Arkansas. It's there's nothing that embodies the
[00:09:37] Bending over and sucking his own dick in the middle of the desert and defiance of government
[00:09:51] Fuck so were you now the way you sucked your own cocks was it the reverse where you're on your back and you put your
[00:09:58] Your legs your legs over your way to your legs to push your your hips towards your face
[00:10:03] I was never even close. Unfortunately. I was limber though. Mm-hmm. You know well you weren't able to tie your shoes until
[00:10:13] Get off your phone Adam I I couldn't I have to send this no you don't get the fuck off your phone
[00:10:17] I have to first of all you're using my wire without permission
[00:10:21] I didn't say you could fucking charge your phone with my that's fucked up man. You're stealing man's electricity
[00:10:25] Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna charge you for that electricity by the way
[00:10:30] Roll reversal there. Yeah, now he knows how it feels
[00:10:35] It's so funny. That's the only way they're gonna learn it's so many ovens didn't work. It's time for usury
[00:10:41] It's so funny that you guys use the stereotypes on me when I'm bad at money. I'm bad at paying taxes
[00:10:51] For us for the audience for the audience for the audience for the audience that's for the audience that comes at you with
[00:10:59] But I would take some value city coupon. I do know I just love that coupon book. Oh, yeah
[00:11:05] Pretend I was gonna go to that like I'm gonna get Anderson windows
[00:11:15] All right at windows the guys from a list of Nick
[00:11:19] You have to sell those for school mad about a remake a rear window and it's like a guy with a broken leg
[00:11:30] And he's like looking out the window and then he sees like a boy being molested across the street
[00:11:47] That's so your Jimmy Stewart's coming along. Thanks, man. Yeah, it's about time. I got a voice you got you got something
[00:11:53] It's just seeing everyone do horrible Jimmy Stewart's. Yeah. Yeah, that's a
[00:12:02] It's one of the easiest impressions. Yeah, it's like it's like walking or or Schwarzenegger
[00:12:08] Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's easy. Yeah boy across the street
[00:12:21] He calls the guy the guy comes over with the boy
[00:12:25] Would you mind fucking him a little harder?
[00:12:29] The rear window remake where shy a little boo no the one with Christopher Reeves
[00:12:36] Like right after his accident they were
[00:12:39] Where we go? Yeah, dude. Is that like him trying to be like he's like I can still act yeah
[00:12:45] There's one very specific role. Yeah, he can play that guy or like whatever the fuck happened a Darth Vader in between like that fire
[00:13:01] Star Wars where they just change his bandage
[00:13:03] I'm Darth Vader now. He can't even speak. That's all he is anymore was a voice
[00:13:10] Yeah, but they would have to dub over it, but James Earl Jones. Yep. Yep. They should do all the Christopher Reeves movies
[00:13:17] They should remember that rear window. Mm-hmm
[00:13:19] So but yeah, Tim and his fucking his like
[00:13:25] You know there's a murder record. We should actually watch it. It's it's like very sad. It's like sad
[00:13:30] I don't want to watch it. Yeah, let's do it. Oh guy. Dude. Just fucking got got by a horse, dude
[00:13:36] It's come on. I mean that's a rich guy. That's a rich guy way to way to get fucked up like Sonny Bono
[00:13:45] But I mean what happened the horse just kicked him off. Yeah, but skiing is like just playing polo well hold on
[00:13:50] Ski skiing is like that's just him. This is like Christopher Walken or
[00:13:55] Christopher Reeves on top of a fucking horse that doesn't want to be jumping over these fences
[00:14:00] I don't think it was show jumping. I think it was polo. Well, whatever. I mean I have less sympathy for
[00:14:07] Nick loves animals sounds like a lot of animals in fact. I hate animals
[00:14:14] That's not true. I would I would love them. I would bind torture and kill any animal
[00:14:19] BTK was like the last like serial kill over the cool name
[00:14:23] I remember there was like a couple years ago. There was a guy and I saw it
[00:14:26] I think on local news where they were like and the police have emerging details about the man
[00:14:45] And new details emerging about the guy that Fox children
[00:14:49] Serial rapist known as the man who comes inside children
[00:15:04] Oh, so he was playing polo that shit sucks dude polo sucks was Christopher. You have a good actor
[00:15:09] I'll remember with Superman. That's all I know him from was he ever good shit. I don't know
[00:15:16] He was also in smallville as another handy cap guy
[00:15:20] Smallville hell yeah, dude Lana laying or whatever not luck not Lois Lane
[00:15:26] Hi Clark Kent are you from smallville cuz you got a small dick
[00:15:31] And then he like me second. Yeah, I'm gonna play the bully on that show
[00:15:37] I want to be she was pretty hot that girl that played Lana laying dude. Hell yeah, what was up with her?
[00:15:41] She's like half age kind of Chinese. Yeah, the good feeling kind of Chinese. That's my jazz album
[00:15:48] Where I only play the black keys on the keyboard
[00:15:53] That's a trick if you want to play any Chinese song just play the black keys on the keyboard
[00:15:57] I can do that one song where you just play with your knuckles
[00:16:05] Is that called chopsticks no chopsticks is a different
[00:16:16] Why are we confusing what is that song and why did it become synonymous with anytime a movie scene?
[00:16:23] Transitions to Asia. Yeah. Yeah, because of great sketch comedy the gong sound oh
[00:16:34] So you guys only now I we I think we abandoned the sucking your own dick conversation a little too early you only did it once
[00:16:40] Yeah, I did it once and I just got really like just the tip really I didn't I couldn't I couldn't go all the way
[00:16:46] But um did you finish beating off after you sucked your own cock or would you like I have to I need a second?
[00:16:55] Less pleasurable on the dick than it felt like I was sucking a dick
[00:17:04] Come on, but you know that whole like conversation like why not we've to have we talked about like you know like when guys are like
[00:17:11] Yeah, yeah million dollar million dollar. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah
[00:17:13] Hell yeah, dude. Nick show me a picture that lady with a giant ass on it like the medically giant ass
[00:17:20] Why does she have an ass that big shut up dude? This doesn't concern you
[00:17:23] This is about this is a real man's conversation this Puerto Rican
[00:17:31] Afro-rattle snakes. Yeah, it is funny that it is like incredibly attractive
[00:17:36] What big asses no that this this woman's disability
[00:17:40] It's like cripple. She's gonna be in a wheelchair by the time she's fucking 30
[00:17:49] Very carefully. Mm-hmm. You know I'm talking about
[00:17:52] You guys know yeah, I guess so yeah just for listener at home
[00:17:55] There's this Instagram lady that next a fan of whose ass is because of some sort of medical malady
[00:18:03] Biggest ass of all time. Yes, and she's got a 70 inch ass and from the waist up. She's pretty hot. Yeah
[00:18:15] I'm gonna say something that's too big. Oh
[00:18:30] It looks like she's just laying a sack of dough down. Yeah
[00:18:34] Sorry, I know this is a dough. This is kind of too visual for the audience
[00:18:41] We're just gonna keep looking at pictures. Yeah, I'm just gonna once once you get sucked in I try to get out and I get sucked
[00:18:51] Instagram pogs, you know the pogs. Oh, yeah fat ass white girl. Do you yeah? Mm-hmm one of the best cat porno categories
[00:19:07] Don't tell him he's not in blue. You've never beat off the pogs. Have you like girls with big asses?
[00:19:12] No, but that's white girls. It's a whole other category
[00:19:17] Why are they fucking black eyes in it? No racist you come on do why are they identified as fat ass?
[00:19:23] What part of it's hot didn't you understand?
[00:19:28] Jeez, I mean look sometimes yes, they will fuck black guys. I would say it's 50 50 most of the time. There's no fucking
[00:19:34] It's not hardcore. It's mostly soft core, but it's like twerking videos by oh no
[00:19:38] I see I mean they do have fuck videos, but like the pogs stars are like right right yeah
[00:19:44] they do like twerking they popular doing twerking videos and
[00:19:53] Here that is a call that makes your ass that big
[00:19:59] What is the name of it? Yeah, it's it's it's a combination of like some some people just have
[00:20:05] Huge yes some some women just deposit more fat in their ass
[00:20:09] For starters and then on top of that she does have like some kind of lymph buildup. It looks like
[00:20:18] Tumorist tissue like this fucking she's got cancer
[00:20:29] Fucking what do you think weighs more her ass or me?
[00:20:36] Her ass for sure you think her ass weighs more than probably 140 pounds. Oh this woman probably weighs like
[00:20:42] 240 pounds nice and do you think she weighs 140 in the ass?
[00:20:49] Yes, 141 to be exact now new way what like 92 pounds
[00:20:56] You really weigh a whole hundred forty. That's too much dude. You think I weigh less you got fat dude
[00:21:01] What the fuck happened you're a hundred forty pounds now you're ugly, dude. Let yourself go
[00:21:06] You got to get thin I lied on my driver's license up on weight. What'd you put?
[00:21:11] 150 I put 140 I was not 140 at the time you lied to 140 I lied up
[00:21:18] I generally don't know the last to feel like more of a man. I don't remember when I weighed
[00:21:24] Like I think it might have been third grade. I'm not even kidding. Really? I've been to it. Yeah, I weigh 260 right now
[00:21:32] I've gone through periods where I drink like two shakes like muscle milks like a day
[00:21:38] Go to the gym every single day and the highest I've ever gotten is 145
[00:21:42] Really? Yeah, but the only thing eating a bunch of what you said?
[00:21:46] I oh I drink two protein shakes a day and all this bullshit supple. Yeah, and chip at Chipotle burrito for lunch
[00:21:55] Every day that's still that's still only that's still only like 3,000 calories
[00:22:00] I mean all I'm saying is I can't put weight on just from eating I could put it on from weight training
[00:22:06] We should try but the most I've ever gotten to is 145 we should see this mode. That's we're just water retention then
[00:22:12] Probably we should see if you can gain weight faster than I can lose it. Yeah, it's important
[00:22:17] I can make you gain weight. How I will put you on a diet
[00:22:21] I guarantee you and I know this is Lewis's thing, but Lewis has moved on to fidget spinners now
[00:22:26] Which at first I thought was a joke, but that seems to be
[00:22:35] This lost lot of weight too. He was gone for three months and he got aids in autism and a fucking yeah
[00:22:42] I told him he's looking good. Yeah, the fidget spinner is tough though. What is he doing?
[00:22:48] What what is it? What do you mean? He like brings it on stage?
[00:22:51] He's posting like tricks of him doing like fidget spinner stuff
[00:22:54] Which is like it's couched in a little bit of like a tongue and cheek sort of thing
[00:22:58] But you know that means that he's been like into these things for months. He's practicing
[00:23:02] He's practicing them. He's got a whole collection of them
[00:23:05] He like flips him from hand to hand and shit. He like won't let his son play with them because he's practicing his tricks
[00:23:11] It's like it's yeah, it's my dad did that with super Nintendo. He got really in a super Mario world
[00:23:18] Like I feel like yo, can I play like just let me die one more time
[00:23:21] I was like looking for real. That sounds really cool, man. Yeah, dad sounds cool
[00:23:25] Growing ass man taking a little boys game. Yeah, my job. You're not allowed to play anymore
[00:23:31] I'd say up at night trying to be Marty. My dad was out. Go back to your room for being gay
[00:23:44] Gave you can play as Luigi cuz you're gay
[00:23:48] Luigi like they we just fuck Luigi. Fuck's you got a empire you got like a wall
[00:23:53] Luigi vibe a wall. Yeah, you're wall. You're wall. Luigi. He's Wario. Absolutely. I have no much
[00:24:02] Can't one. I don't know you can't grow one. I can't really grow one either, but it's about spiritually
[00:24:09] Stop with it mustache looks really funny. I'm fucking double dragon dude. I'm both of them. No, you're the toads you're battle toads
[00:24:16] Frogs first of all battle toads are not yeah, you're the shark ones. What were those three charts?
[00:24:22] Cool, you're not tree charts. I am street. You know fuck you. Shut up you five more your bitch
[00:24:27] I'm TMNT. Dude. No, I'm not doing your fucking my Luigi. We already moved on from you
[00:24:33] I'm Mikey. I'm a party animal and I like I'm a wise cracker. I like pizza and I use an un-chuck
[00:24:40] Raphael cuz you got a bad attitude bad. I'm bad, dude. I'm Casey
[00:24:45] Who's the friend the friend who fucks April? Yeah, the friend of fuck. Yeah, that's the best one's right fuck
[00:24:52] You're definitely not double dragon or street sharks
[00:24:57] You're that you're you're you're a doctor Mario
[00:25:01] Dude fuck dr. Mario. What was that game? I don't know I was so excited
[00:25:06] I got tried playing at one time and I think I was like I think this is trying to make me learn yeah
[00:25:10] It felt that way. I don't know what was like a puzzle boring and it's fucking like it's vaguely educational
[00:25:16] It was like a much more little dicked version of candy crushes. Yeah, like it felt like one of those puzzle games
[00:25:21] I honestly never understood it and I had I had Mario paint which is like you got a mouse for it
[00:25:26] Oh, yeah, you could like you could compose songs on it
[00:25:29] And you could like make drawings and stuff
[00:25:31] But the thing though shitty was like you couldn't keep the drawing there's no like way of printing them out or anything like that
[00:25:38] Uh, it gave you like there was a painting thing on the we and when you beat a game
[00:25:43] It would like give you a picture of the game or whatever and I got really good at drawing dicks like very like photo realistic
[00:25:51] And that because a lot of people don't know that I am actually a you're not a bad artist
[00:25:55] I'm not bad hard. Okay. Our teacher also fucked him when he was a baby
[00:26:01] Dude, you just got fucking game list is good. Yeah
[00:26:04] It's a bunch of guys waiting now, but I had one where I had I had this like massive hog on the Ouija where he's getting like a thumbs up
[00:26:12] Did you save it? I did I did but I mean it's not a we that I write, you know got sold or fucking I want to see that
[00:26:18] So the least sucks. I didn't even have HD right well
[00:26:21] No, the we is good because you can like pirate games real easy. You can play all the super NES games
[00:26:26] No, but you can play you play all the we games you can play all the we in game cube games
[00:26:30] It's like it just it's like exploits where you put it on an SD card really?
[00:26:35] Yeah, you just put you put this thing you go to get one
[00:26:38] Yeah, if you'd like to have a soft model we you just put an SD card in it and then it all
[00:26:44] Like it does something. I want to play fucking Gundam Robo. You guys are fuck with that shit
[00:26:49] I've been playing Metroid Prime because we have Metroid Prime's a great game. Dude. It's too hard
[00:26:54] I'm not I'm not good enough of a video Sam is the sexy dude. Yeah, I know Sam's you get the the dick piece
[00:27:00] Wait, do you have the game cube controller? I have no I have the oh the I was a game cube game
[00:27:05] Yeah, no actually yes. I have a game that was probably like one of five good game cube games
[00:27:10] It was a yeah, it was a really good game
[00:27:13] Yeah, I have the game cute. It like attaches to the remote the Wii remote. Yeah. Oh
[00:27:21] Yeah, the white has any ass control. Yeah. Yeah, yeah
[00:27:24] Fuck yeah, that game was good as shit dude. No, what's it?
[00:27:28] I can't remember the fucking no it was custom Robo
[00:27:30] I think that I played that she was cool you built your own robot you fucking fought other robots and shit
[00:27:36] No, I don't know that yeah blasters and shit. I think that's what it's called fuck. It was good as hell dude
[00:27:41] I tried to buy it again. It's like off the internet. It's like $80 for the fucking disc
[00:27:45] Yeah, because your boy got a game cube at home
[00:27:48] Oh, do you yeah shit? We should play game cube play game cube come over well amber has a Wii
[00:27:52] I want to now like I was saying this place bash dude. I shouldn't have any of the wires for it
[00:27:57] Oh, I don't know. It's just a we with no no the wires. She was stealing it
[00:28:01] Well, I could hook that shit up once once my console comes and I can have a shelf
[00:28:06] Shelving for all my electronics my man out here Nicki Mullen out here getting shelves and shit. Yeah, I love and and subwoofers
[00:28:14] Yeah, I did subwoofers. I bought a shoe rack today. Did you a shoe rack and some fucking?
[00:28:19] Uh, uh some wrinkle spray you ever fuck with that you ain't ever got to do fucking ironing
[00:28:27] Oh, yeah. Yeah, I know what you're talking about you stretch you spray and stretch. Yeah, bitch
[00:28:31] That that's really like what I do to your ass
[00:28:34] You spray and then stretch no it's other way around stretch and then spray stretch. It's bit spit stretch spray
[00:28:43] Is there another star wars movie coming out soon. Yes in December. Uh rogue one was so good
[00:28:49] You liked it. I thought it was great. I liked it. I thought it was good
[00:28:52] I thought it was so much better than force away. It was much more than force awakens force awakens suck my day
[00:28:57] It's the follow up to force awakens is coming. I thought the end of yeah, that's that's a good one. Dude. I again, we're watch those instagram
[00:29:05] Uh the end was cool as shit where they all suck each other's cocks
[00:29:11] No, I don't want to spoil it. I hate spoilers
[00:29:13] Even though even though we're well in our whatever to spoil. It's been a year. Mm-hmm. Yeah, they got the new one coming out with Luke Skywalker, dude
[00:29:21] Yeah, yeah, he's just been standing on that island beating off
[00:29:26] Chad. I can't beat off. They dance free. That sucks. Yeah
[00:29:34] Yeah, it's like you know how suck me off and I will become more powerful than you've ever imagined
[00:29:39] It's like how dark Luke Luke is just watching his Darth Vader fucking sucks him off across across the roof
[00:29:55] A little little glory hole appears on his mask
[00:30:02] He's so good at sucking man. No, no, he just like superhead. He uses the Sith choke to jack guys off
[00:30:09] Yeah, that's a good. Yeah, that's yeah. Yeah. You fucked my father. I am your father and I'm gay
[00:30:24] He's the white saber to cut Luke Skywalker's
[00:30:43] Next movie starts with him getting his like dick made by
[00:30:51] No, you can have one robot part of your body. What would it be? It's just dick is a jack's arms. That's good. Yeah
[00:31:04] But he has he picked two. Yeah, well, are you right?
[00:31:07] But it's like one piece shut the fuck up
[00:31:09] You connect it connect you said arms. That's plural. Why are you so fucking bad at all of these types?
[00:31:17] Every single fucking time. All right. Ask me again
[00:31:20] No, you already blew it. All right. That's not fun. Ask me again, dude. Please Nick. What would you like?
[00:31:34] I would probably it's legitimately do robo cock ask me again. You know what? No, I want one foot to be like bionic
[00:31:44] That's pretty cool. Yeah, then you land on the other foot
[00:31:50] Immediately your shin bone goes up to your chin
[00:31:56] Uh, well, so that's the end of that hypothetical ask me what else you guys want to talk about. Yeah, ask me again
[00:32:01] You're so bad at these dude. Um just one more time. We're like ever like okay
[00:32:05] Let's all name our favorite movie and Adam's like all of the cast of eddies movies
[00:32:15] Yeah, but you don't understand how favorite works
[00:32:18] All right, if I could have one robot body part. Yeah, two laser eyes. You motherfucker
[00:32:25] You fucking cock sucker. Sorry dude. What the fuck? I'm sorry boys. I'm sorry boys. I'm sorry boys
[00:32:32] Take a breather dude. You're on time out. All right. I'll take two minutes off
[00:32:35] Think about it's a habit Adam should be like a robot prostate that can eliminate the HIV virus entering his body
[00:32:48] Droid prostate that sits in his ass. It's like what's going on here. You're not clear. Tran tray
[00:33:04] Just gets fucking his ass and then you just you're like
[00:33:19] How long is two minutes you still got like 90 more seconds? Yeah, he's got he's got it's like
[00:33:24] Projecting hologram supreme sis Leia out of his asshole
[00:33:29] You have to help us. So be one Kenobi. There's too much AIDS in this boy's ass
[00:33:38] So what's today? Memorial day? Yeah, this is Memorial day and we need to represent shout out to the troops shout out to me
[00:33:48] Navy SEAL really yep. I'm thinking about joining current current maybe soon the Marines
[00:33:52] I think you should join the Navy SEALs like me SEAL team six. I'm actually I was Delta Force first
[00:33:58] And then I switched to seal team Delta forces army
[00:34:03] Uh, yeah, and then SEAL team six is Navy. Yeah, that's the Navy's guys the Navy's big
[00:34:17] Descent the crop. My god. Why would you be the Israeli army? I said it as a joke. Oh, because you like you like to oppress Palestinians
[00:34:24] No, I don't is that the reason you have you talked on the podcast about the time that you um like threw rocks back at those palestane
[00:34:32] Or you're an Israel right after you did that trip it to DC to lobby for Israel
[00:34:36] You then went over to over to Israel. No, I'm I'm polished up some nice rocks. I'm anti-Israel
[00:34:42] I'm more into being a social justice warrior these days
[00:34:45] Remember remember that story you told about
[00:34:48] When you service yourself on a try an entire transporter crate filled with Palestinian boys
[00:34:55] I think that was off mic. Yeah, I don't think this one. We were getting lunch. Mm-hmm. He mentioned that
[00:35:02] That was a plot of transporter, right? There was like one of those big cargo. I was like that
[00:35:07] It's like captain Phillips right with the pirate is Adam and he's like tell me these are filled with Asian women
[00:35:21] Captain Phillips is like what's going on here?
[00:35:32] Good times good times man good times noodle salad
[00:35:37] What's that from so lying from as good as it gets
[00:35:41] Yeah, people fuck good times noodle salad. Yeah, that's ways that jack Nicholson fucking Amanda Pete
[00:35:47] Is that right? Uh no, it's uh jack niggles and fucking hell and hunt hell and hunt
[00:35:51] There's another one called something's got a getaway. That's the one i'm thinking of where he fucks uh
[00:35:56] Diane Keaton, but first he fucks her daughter, right? That's something like that. I don't know
[00:36:02] I mean it's easy to confuse those two movies and only one of them is good and the good one with Helen, huh?
[00:36:07] No, yes fucking as good as again. Yeah, that was like nominated for it. Yeah
[00:36:13] Yeah, yeah, you were good in his gay and that what is he what's that what's that line?
[00:36:18] Because you got uh girl the waitress meets Simon the fag
[00:36:25] Yeah, I like to interpret that character is cool. Yeah, he's a cool guy
[00:36:30] Cool guy's fucking agree with all of his opinions and his attitude. Is he done acting? Yeah, he's got like all his primers
[00:36:37] You got all timers my man's brain is fucking potato jack. Yeah. Yeah, he's shit's full of Swiss cheese
[00:36:44] I hope you didn't forget how to fuck dude. Nah some things are in there his his fucking quartet
[00:36:49] It's right in the spine. Oh, yeah, the brain. That's the last part to go last part to go
[00:36:55] Uh, he'll be you know how dogs sometimes run in their sleep
[00:36:58] He'll be eating pussy in his sleep. He still goes to laker games
[00:37:03] He was at the last Kobe game. I mean, I guess that was a year ago. That was a year ago
[00:37:06] Have you seen him this year? Probably not. No, he looks a kid. Well the team sucks dick
[00:37:11] The Lakers suck they're building and lonzo's gonna suck dick to their building towards the future. Um fucked up shot
[00:37:17] He looks like ugly ass janky. It's a little janky. He looks like a great with what down syndrome
[00:37:23] What do you think about the lonzo levar ball type? Uh, they both sound like fags to me
[00:37:30] That's why I don't go to the games anymore. It's too many queers playing
[00:37:37] Don't you remember the old days when they
[00:37:40] Used to wear very tiny shorts and sometimes you'd get a peek at somebody's pecker
[00:37:48] Those were the days jack the good old days jack
[00:37:56] The who do you think fucked the most apparently he fucked so much that he like in his late life. He was a pretty lonely guy
[00:38:03] Because his only friend I think was harry dean stanton any fuckers why any fun any then he fucked harry dean said
[00:38:10] Harry i'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Can't you give me a second chance
[00:38:17] Was that line in departed where it is like, um, we go whoa? No
[00:38:26] Who are charlie the scent of a woman. What are you talking about my upper lip? I've smelled every type of bitch there is
[00:38:38] You know what I don't think that kind of that kind of guy says bitch. I think he calls women broads broads. Yes. Yes. Yes. Dames
[00:38:46] Absolutely. He calls them. She's a beautiful woman. He cuts to the chase and just calls women whole whole
[00:38:56] Look at my horse than like cont or any of those
[00:38:59] I think that was a lot more. You know, that was my favorite child above movie before I saw it
[00:39:08] It's a child above gaping. They should call it full sanitizing
[00:39:24] That's good. That's good some good shit, baby
[00:39:27] Shaya really you know, yeah, he had nice. He could have had it all dude. I call him vagina above
[00:39:34] Why were the alt right guy so obsessed with that thing that all uh that the child is doing that?
[00:39:42] Installation thing because it's funny to fuck with Shaya above
[00:39:45] But why in particular were like the pep the alt right guys because it's like a 4chan thing to fuck with Shaya above
[00:39:51] Oh, they fuck with them. So it kind of like beautifully
[00:39:53] Mashed their political beliefs and one of their favorite because he's yeah. He's an easy target and he's like
[00:39:59] Obviously full of shit. Yeah completely. Yeah, which is surprising
[00:40:04] It's what's interesting about him is like
[00:40:07] It his behavior seems like it's driven by like some sort of insecurity about having been like a Disney star or whatever
[00:40:13] He's got a fucking chip on his shoulder
[00:40:15] Of course how he was interpreted throughout his adolescence
[00:40:21] But that first details magazine where he was like striking out into adulthood trying to be this like hollywood
[00:40:26] Mm-hmm, you know fucking James Dean's always weird those years are weird
[00:40:31] And the harder you try to be cool the more of a fucking laughing stock you are but like and now it's this all this weird fucking
[00:40:40] His art stuff that that really happened after he was caught plagiarizing from
[00:40:45] That graphic novel or whatever it was right?
[00:40:48] Um, but I feel like franca is sort of on that wave too, but people don't franca is fine people don't fuck with him
[00:40:53] He's again. He's like a guy that like has some of the same impulses
[00:40:59] Yeah, right he well he thinks of himself as like smarter than he is which is fine when you're like a fucking millionaire
[00:41:05] I mean, but in like the extent of that is him like taking classes at columbia and writing shitty book reports and fights
[00:41:14] Do something it's like Kanye where it's something that's kind of off and right if this was somebody you cared about you would like try to get them help
[00:41:22] Yeah, and but what's interesting is that he does all his bullshit performance art, but he's like
[00:41:27] It's like a very talented actor. He's good. He's good. Yeah. He's a really good actor
[00:41:32] Did you see Nymphomaniac? No, he wasn't bad eagle eye. Yeah, even in movies. He's good. He's good. He's not bad. Yeah
[00:41:40] Like what made indiana jones bad was not him. No, it's just a terrible marketing. I fuck with him
[00:41:45] I do yeah, didn't he do that art thing where he no no he wasn't gonna move and some girl sucked his dick or something
[00:41:51] Yeah, he got raped. It's wild dude. Yeah, he did another thing where he watched I heard that I left myself to sleep
[00:41:59] I felt raped when I saw that movie that had no holes
[00:42:09] Jack great to have you jack. What's the best muff you've ever smelled? Oh boy
[00:42:14] Your mom what the fuck Jack Jack. I see you Jack
[00:42:28] Oh my downstairs neighbor had a like a gay dude. He was screaming at his boyfriend
[00:42:34] I think they fought each other like fist-fought
[00:42:37] That's like is that I'm always down with some DV when it's when it's same sex exactly is that allowed?
[00:42:42] Do you like to cheer for that feeling like yeah, it's not like you're beating a woman wait all long. Are they the same race?
[00:42:50] Yes, okay. There's one of them deaf. Nope disabled in any way. Nope fair game
[00:42:57] That's cool, right because looking in fights is fun. I can't imagine a thrill when I heard them because first of all that
[00:43:03] It makes me think like how about they're more domestic violence in the gay community
[00:43:07] Shut up. Let's do like a very progressive thing where we like we host fights where we make gay people fight for us
[00:43:14] Like we have we put them in a cage and make them beat the shit out of yeah sort of like a proof that it's okay
[00:43:20] I love a gay comite. Yeah, that would literally be Lewis's idea of like a
[00:43:29] Yeah, dude you fucking make them fight to the death
[00:43:32] No, all the money goes to age research. I
[00:43:38] Think you're allowed to you're allowed to fight if it's the bottom
[00:43:46] They got to be in the similar weight class. It has to be weight class
[00:43:50] That's way bigger and look if one is real like tiny and like does you know what I mean like it?
[00:43:57] Like outmatched it's not as cool, but these guys are about the same size, dude
[00:44:04] Awesome fight. It's like usually probably in shape fist fights
[00:44:08] They don't yeah, they're in great shape and usually when people throw like fist even UFC guys. There's not that much passion
[00:44:14] You you very really love it. Well passion well, I don't know in the form of of fisticuffs
[00:44:19] I think there's another yet another reason for gay UFC
[00:44:24] Yeah, you have seated more here about the more this becomes a great idea
[00:44:31] We got you loose on some time with you with ten fidget spingers
[00:44:41] We got ten gay dudes the winner gets a fidget spinner
[00:44:46] Wait, was he you'd take those eggs are fidget spitters for executives. Oh, no. Yeah, somebody heads of
[00:44:52] Somebody tweeted it. Yeah, somebody tweeted this reddit
[00:44:56] Fuck I don't I would like to give credit to whoever fucking found it. I wish I could remember we found it
[00:45:02] Maybe it was CJ or something. It was like let us know we'll give you retroactive. No wait
[00:45:07] It was at tiny baby. Oh, yeah, I think I mean he usually has pretty good
[00:45:12] pretty pretty good reddit polls, but it was
[00:45:16] Yeah, it was like the top post was so we all have autism
[00:45:20] Question mark explanation point and then somebody responded like I'm tired of this attitude
[00:45:25] There are some fidget spinners that cost more than three hundred dollars that are designed for executives and presidents
[00:45:33] Like would you call somebody autistic for driving a Mercedes Benz?
[00:45:39] First of all, that's literally the only president would be our
[00:45:42] Wow look at that executive with this three hundred and fifty dollar fidget spinner is four hundred dollar Mercedes Benz. I
[00:45:50] Wonder if that man's gonna be president some day
[00:45:54] We have to get the most expensive fidget spinners. Yeah, it's also like
[00:45:59] Sometimes CEOs have autism. Yeah. Yeah, I was like would you call a guy with a Mercedes Benz autistic?
[00:46:08] He was driving around the Mercedes Benz playing with a fidget spinner then yes, I would call him that
[00:46:14] In fact, I would make a point to just fuck him for having that car absolutely
[00:46:20] They don't deserve that those kind of riches. They don't they don't have the brain developed enough to enjoy them
[00:46:26] The thing is they got a mentally retarded brain
[00:46:31] It's so my learn they don't taste sweets, you know what I mean?
[00:46:38] They they you know where they hear a song. They're like they get itchy and that bothers you
[00:46:43] You can see the behavior. There's one of them. It rides a bus around town for free. It gives me the willies
[00:46:53] It says real good at math, but who the fuck likes math
[00:46:57] I see I don't believe that shit either. I don't think they know math. Yeah
[00:47:00] They like to pretend, you know, they know they got to tap into your brain. They are different wavelength
[00:47:07] Basically my theory is you know the doctor says you your son's gonna have you know autism
[00:47:14] One simple solution you take a power drill put it into the top of the skull. Mm-hmm fill the hole with acid
[00:47:22] LSD no with with chemicals. I like chloric acid kill him stealing from yeah
[00:47:31] That way you make sure the next kid you have no knows better
[00:47:34] You drill it you give his brain room to expand because it's too fucking yeah, you're trapping them
[00:47:40] Yeah, I think they got that little retard brain
[00:47:43] You put a couple chicken livers on top of his brain and it fucking fuses
[00:47:49] To get liver in his brain. Yeah, me these meat is brain brain brain. What do you think brain is?
[00:47:53] You think brain is fucking muscles. It is no, it's fucking meat. It's the most powerful muscle
[00:47:59] I got a fucking muscle for you pal. What this fucking Salic. What's a salad? Oh my god
[00:48:05] Leech with a salad I'm fucking a buzzhole
[00:48:16] Doesn't even know the made-up Italian words that other Italian Americans came up with
[00:48:26] Like a billion don't you mean another thing we made up? Oh, man, that's good. Oh, that's a good guy
[00:48:41] Man, I fucking wish we had actually seen alien carbonate. Yeah, Katie
[00:48:45] How is isn't it you was fucked up? I feel like it's gonna suck. I heard it's bad shut the fuck up. It's good
[00:48:51] Don't ruin it. I heard Kenny powers is the only good part. No, there's that can't be true
[00:48:57] That's what I was told by some of that thought a out there trying to look fucking serious
[00:49:02] I'm trying to hear him talk about titties do he killed an alien and said you're fucking out
[00:49:10] Yeah, you know what sucks is like I stopped stealing movies
[00:49:14] Mmm, and I just I actually rent movies now. Yeah, cuz you're in the media now
[00:49:18] Well, it's insane that I would actually do that. You know a couple years ago. It's like who would buy movies
[00:49:23] Yeah, that's wild, but now new shit comes out and like I don't want to watch it because it's gonna look like shit
[00:49:29] Mm-hmm. You get used to the higher quality of you spoiled. Yeah, I'll only I'll only
[00:49:36] Download something if it's like a Blu-ray or 720 at least you'd laser disc you do I want to get well
[00:49:42] You know laser disc you say that jokingly, but laser disc is an analog signal
[00:49:46] So they're good shit. Yeah, it's like a record. Yeah, well they continued making laser this in Japan until like five years ago
[00:49:53] I'll say a laser dick sale a laser disc salesman rape snake
[00:49:57] For sure it's higher its higher fidelity people like laser this
[00:50:07] Yeah, it was like movies and shit just everything bad for that it was a bad format because it was enormous
[00:50:12] Yes, and you had to scan barcodes or something. What was the deal with that? Maybe that I don't think you're thinking of give a
[00:50:21] Yeah, maybe yeah div X is like a in a container now
[00:50:25] But it used to be a subscription service or is like DVDs that were like five bucks. Oh, yeah
[00:50:32] Connected to a like it had like a they do it at school right my friends dad had it
[00:50:38] Yeah, and he I remember him like I specifically bought all of those
[00:50:43] I think because you knew it would go out of business right once it goes out of business
[00:50:47] It's like you just keep him, you know because I can't tell smart. Yeah, so like
[00:50:55] modem and then you pay you pay a subscription to watch
[00:50:59] Shit, that's that like proto Netflix shit kind of yeah, that's did you know there's like a Trump?
[00:51:06] Like subscription box service now like the safety pin box and what yeah, what do you get?
[00:51:12] I don't know. I gotta look into it. Wait really? Yeah, you get like the yeah, but they send you merchandise
[00:51:19] You subscribe to it and you get Trump. Oh, yeah Trump presidency merchandise. Oh, and he's selling it. Yeah, I think so from the White House
[00:51:29] Legal I'm sure it's illegal. Yeah, who cares you can't stop him. It's so funny
[00:51:34] Is that in fact I kind of want a president that does illegal stuff, you know what I mean? I think we that's really everyone
[00:51:42] Get it I get it you went to history class
[00:51:46] Yeah, I did dude AP US history. Oh, I took AP US history to get five five baby
[00:51:52] Yeah, hell yeah five boys on our AP class. Yeah, I remember the four on AP lit though
[00:51:58] AP yeah, I did well in all the social sudden
[00:52:01] Science AP or as I like to call it AP clit. Oh hell. Yeah, it's pussy clit
[00:52:13] But I could not do math I'm dumb as hell. Yeah, I took calc and I got a three. No, dude
[00:52:18] Yeah, I had my calc teacher was this awesome lesbian
[00:52:23] Miss Richardson and she fucking just liked me and she called me fat daddy
[00:52:28] And I never had to do any work and she just let me pass for no reason
[00:52:33] She came to our Bahamas trip and just got stung she was our so we went to like a fucking senior trip to the Bahamas which
[00:52:40] Sucked dick. I thought it was gonna be awesome and I saved all this money working at a machine shop
[00:52:44] And I went on this trip and I got son poisoning
[00:52:47] Well, so it's like that movie the machine is this except instead of getting really thin
[00:52:51] Yeah, I got back for the rule and I've never been able to read
[00:52:53] I used to be from that story Thomas told us about that girl. It said she gained 200 pounds for a role
[00:52:59] No, I mean he said he went down like he met some girl from Tinder who was like
[00:53:03] She was like much thinner and her pictures and he met up with her and she was like, yeah
[00:53:07] Well, I'm an actress and they I had to gain 200 pounds
[00:53:14] Are they rebooting precious some Craigslist movie
[00:53:18] Yeah, well if I had people don't exist so we can use specifically
[00:53:23] What's that kind of porn where you have to force feed people or it's like a fetish thing where you feeder?
[00:53:28] Yeah, where you like feed people and ticket by the way 900 pounds. There's any
[00:53:43] You can be a feeder can pie you be a feeder, but it's got to be paleo your boys a paleo warrior right now
[00:53:49] You know, it's all car. It's no carbs fucking meat. Is that like is there is there in a bitch like a paleo guy?
[00:53:56] I don't know. I also don't believe that there weren't fat caveman
[00:54:00] True damn true. I don't know they had a walk a lot more
[00:54:06] Like I don't think that we invented like being lazy as shit there had to have been one piece of shit caveman
[00:54:12] It was like no you guys just do it. Yeah, but he probably got got by like saber tooth tiger
[00:54:17] Rex's and terror that he stayed in the cave
[00:54:24] Yeah, the chief is a lazy guy for sure, but he got to be lazy by murking out
[00:54:29] Oh, you know people and so like, you know, he got to the head
[00:54:33] Politics came into play where you could you weren't just the ruler because you could fuck everyone up how early in that and oh
[00:54:40] Oh like ten thousand years after caveman. Yeah, so all cavemen had to be strong
[00:54:46] Yeah cavemen were just like apes. Yeah, but there could have been a fat you never seen a fat squirrel
[00:54:51] And I understand people feed them. Yeah, but there could have been a magnanimous woolly mammoth that was feeding
[00:55:05] Austro lo saktikka kiss took what's that one the one right before homo erectus?
[00:55:12] Yeah, oh they took took care of disabled people
[00:55:19] Maybe they serve their purpose of the tribe, you know, yeah, maybe they fucked the disabled you know, they were Jewish
[00:55:26] cavemen were there. Yeah, we talk about
[00:55:29] Nick Crow and the Geico cavemen. Yeah, exactly on ABC. That's crazy. They tried to make a sitcom out of that
[00:55:40] Show out a crash test dummies remember then there was like a whole the whole like thing
[00:55:47] They turned crash test dummies into this like a concert. Yeah, this like it's wild force children's entertain
[00:55:52] Show children's edge. Yeah, yeah, they're just a screaming loudest shit when they crash
[00:56:11] Early 90s television flashback and I suddenly had a hankering for pizza hut. Oh, yeah
[00:56:17] Stop you want to get some Haley. I've been talking about he really wants. I've been talking about pizza had a lot of recently stuff cross pizza
[00:56:23] Have you ever been to his pizza at restaurant? Of course
[00:56:27] Yeah, because like yeah an actual hut, you know not delivery. I've never done it once
[00:56:35] Delivered because the deliver the one it was in Dundalk. There was no one in in Baltimore City proper
[00:56:41] So we only went to Pizza Hut when we wanted to treat ourselves to a sit down
[00:56:45] Mmm pizza dinner. Yeah, I remember every other time was Papa John
[00:56:48] I remember there's this weird Italian family used to like dress up to go out to dinner like
[00:57:02] Salabar and they had a lunch buffet, but I never they never had that yeah
[00:57:06] I would only go to pizza hut like Baltimore don't think when I went bowling with my grandmother and my cousin
[00:57:13] Mmm, and there was the pizza hut near the bowling alley you guys all we would have sex with the pizza hut and we would all have no
[00:57:20] Did you fuck your grandma? I what your cousin pegged you shut up people are gonna DM me and say that I my grandma and I had sex
[00:57:28] They're gonna say mean things didn't know but next grandma did rape people in the apartheid. Yeah, that is true
[00:57:35] It is true she did DM me about it DM. See if I have a temper tantrum. I did I never a temper tantrum
[00:57:48] That's true. You're a very graceful individual. Yeah, I am I understand that I gotta like that play black that movie black swan
[00:57:55] Yeah, that's you I'm that black or white. I don't know. I didn't see it the black ones like the bad one
[00:58:00] I know it's about ballet. Yeah, I know it's about ballet and I know there's rape involved
[00:58:05] No, there's like an unhealthy mother-daughter thing
[00:58:09] Yeah, there's a race. Yeah father son. I'm hoping I would I would nail it with the rape thing because that would have been a good analogy for you
[00:58:17] Dude, but something with ballet is right on cuz he's got like gay ballet body. I got question
[00:58:23] I got a question for you guys. Yeah, I got I got a question for you
[00:58:31] How you gonna have my man doing plie how you got how you got how you gonna have a black swan? Oh
[00:58:41] Oh, wow now he's racist. Well, do you do that was a boy shit? How you go? How you gonna have a black swan
[00:58:51] How you gonna go go to bed my man come here wearing sandals my man go to bed
[00:59:05] Woman with no legs this man got sandals on right here. Look at he laughing. I got a terrible text
[00:59:12] What did it say? It's really bad news tell us my new girlfriend is doing a mic right now. Oh
[00:59:18] An open mic. I got a breakup. That was you two years ago, dude. That was me
[00:59:25] Yeah, six until until me and stavros graciously elevated you to the world of podcasting. I appreciate it a couple of kumia alums
[00:59:33] Yeah, dude. I've been in the white. No check out the lineage dude fdr
[00:59:41] Actually, I was I was in podcasting. That's a history of American. I was right there
[00:59:49] I was in podcasting in DC dude. I did podcast. What do you like yes?
[00:59:53] Wonderland on Fridays. Oh my god that horrific show don't always actually
[01:00:00] Everybody yeah, I thought it was a good show if you guys want to talk shit about I'm not talking shit
[01:00:05] You are I just stated a fact that I used to do podcasting. Yeah, every week. It was a fun show
[01:00:12] It was fun. He's like you could do whatever you want. Yeah, I just do characters that bit
[01:00:16] You did where you were a bird. Yeah, that was the best one. That was so funny
[01:00:20] Yeah, he did like Bert from Bert and Ernie, but he'd like didn't do the character at all
[01:00:24] Brandon just like interviewed him and he's like so tell me about yourself. He's like oh Bert. I'm like yellow
[01:00:38] My yellow I have a friend Ernie that I live with his orange and yeah people think we gave
[01:00:46] He's got another friend named rubber techie. I'm not friends with him. Yeah
[01:00:51] Yeah, Dana did it one time and she was like French and she was like
[01:00:54] Spilling food all over herself. I know that you can do bits. I just didn't I just did it was a bad show
[01:01:00] Yeah, I was just and up to because I'm a purist
[01:01:03] There's a yeah, no, I used to be curious. That's why how we got on Kuma Kumi. Yeah, they respect us
[01:01:09] Yeah, they respect our love of the game right we're like we're like tough crowd guys
[01:01:16] Even though most of those guys are still alive
[01:01:23] That was the original concept for the convoys was that there would be like a leather jacket aspect to it
[01:01:28] This is basically right well basically I want to do a show like tough crowd except it's called rough trade and we're all in leather
[01:01:40] We argue with Northeastern regional accents about things we don't know about
[01:01:44] What are you talking about North Korea? Why does two careers?
[01:01:57] I say on the podcast that Boston piece of shit guy that I overheard overheard in Boston that guy that was like
[01:02:05] He was like, yeah, so uh, so anyway, he's like, yeah, we're gonna have to do a fucking field sobriety
[01:02:10] So I'm like fucking I had two pierce whatever anyway. I failed this it feels bright. I
[01:02:17] Don't think I could pass a field sobriety test sober. Yeah, you have to have good balance
[01:02:28] And then you just push it into the ground. It's like a sinkhole. I'm sorry
[01:02:46] Was that I did it once you fail you all I was stoned so I like passed the field
[01:02:52] Always demand first of all as soon as the couples you ever demand to see their supervisor
[01:02:59] You say oh hell no, I am putting up with this you threatened them with me. I know I got right
[01:03:04] You threaten them with me. You say this is racist. Uh-huh. This is the way you get away with the DUI
[01:03:10] Um, yeah, I love those videos like what is smart? Yeah, like those ACL use
[01:03:19] So they're like oh here it is. What yeah where it's like ignore
[01:03:22] Don't say you don't have to submit to anything and it's like cops are still people and you can fucking manipulate them like anybody else
[01:03:30] And just be nice and you can get away with shit sometimes. I think we've got an advantage
[01:03:38] But I mean if you're like a white dude and you say like I don't submit anything. I know kids said
[01:03:42] This is my right. You're going to jail if you drink any. Yeah, that's like yeah
[01:03:45] How do you think you're white privilege? Yeah, just doing that shit
[01:03:48] Although there is an ACL you like app you can use if you see like cops beating people or whatever and it'll like send it
[01:03:55] To them. I meet girls on there on the ACLU app. Yeah me too. Yeah, I mean I I well my profile picture is me wearing a coofie
[01:04:09] My name is me from uh, I sleep my senior portrait from high school. Yeah, that's mine
[01:04:15] Yeah, we're seeing when he was on tinder had just the picture of him
[01:04:19] Uh like talking to Conan. Oh, yeah, yeah
[01:04:23] You got to baby. Yeah, that's literally the only good thing about a tv just the mbc
[01:04:28] Mbc logo in a microphone in your hand. Yeah
[01:04:31] Yeah, yeah like a poster from an open mic from 2007 just put an mbc logo on there del ray
[01:04:40] Well that that place that was like the big venue
[01:04:43] Where the tenured yeah del ray it was some like it's some it's it was like a restaurant in wood bridge
[01:04:48] Really? I remember I think I missed it. There's uh not britneys. No, there's britneys
[01:04:53] But then there was yeah del ray was like another it was like a mexican restaurant that I remember uh
[01:04:58] Somebody bragging to me. They're like yeah, I'm actually featuring a del ray
[01:05:05] I don't want to say her name because I'm assuming she's like has a terrible life now
[01:05:13] Where's the first place you guys went up?
[01:05:17] Uh motherfucking ej's landing in college park maryland. All right seafood restaurant. All right, or when loring
[01:05:23] I mean, I went up at um a different erwin. I went up at uh
[01:05:28] Rfd thursday shut the shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up. Who runs that?
[01:05:35] Yo, we got one rule. Oh, yeah, shut the fuck up. I was like I when I was when I was back
[01:05:41] Uh, I never did the like, you know, hey, can I go up early sort of thing?
[01:05:46] But like people you would usually just let me go up early. Yeah, yeah and ralph would like was like yeah
[01:05:51] We'll see this time. We'll see this time. I went there and he's like yep
[01:05:54] No, he made me wait there the entire night. He's like no spots this week or whatever
[01:05:58] Yeah, and you pulled that on me. They love this. I almost like I was almost like
[01:06:03] I'm a real calm. Yeah, I don't know the fucking thing you are. You're some shit at open mic
[01:06:07] I mean, that's literally like their dome. That's all we have that we got benson ball at that big show
[01:06:12] I was just trying to do as many spots as possible
[01:06:15] So I was like yo, can I like please go up uh earlier thing because I'm trying to hit another mic
[01:06:19] I got a big show and he's like yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no problem. No problem. No problem. And so like I waited for like two hours
[01:06:26] Cheese and then I left and he's like where you going where are you going? I was like I can't I can't stay here
[01:06:30] I gotta go. Yeah, and I got it's in my it's in my facebook messages, but I would still he sent me a
[01:06:38] Psychotic hilarious. He's like listen. You might be going places in this world. Maybe mtv. Maybe comedy
[01:06:45] But professionalism incredible professionalism matters and it's incredible and let me tell you something
[01:06:54] You got no professional put on you put on a suit and tie at two o'clock in the morning to write this email
[01:07:08] God that show remember we think it was the best show of all time the thursday is for like a couple months
[01:07:14] It was popping but it was just like so poorly run. Yeah, they were just oh start every show
[01:07:20] For those unfamiliar they had a great show packed all the time and they were just
[01:07:25] Ramble first of all just due to my son, but the most important thing was they were just yell. We have one rule
[01:07:33] Yell that in an audience that just wants to see so michael michael foodie and I
[01:07:37] Um made a fake email address one night on a saturday night when we were going out and having fun with young people
[01:07:45] We made a foodie. We're trolling. We made a fake email called josh wanda, right?
[01:07:49] And we said a bunch of troll emails and we said we said they have a troll email that we run
[01:07:55] We own the rights to the shut the fuck up comedy showcase like
[01:08:03] With the best one was we emailed we emailed war del and he was at the draft
[01:08:07] He was at the draft house mike at the time. It was on saturday night
[01:08:11] We're like hey brandon uh josh wanda here
[01:08:14] I just want to let you know that i've told everyone in the industry that you're not to be trusted
[01:08:20] You I asked you for directions that's south by south west and you caused me to miss a showcase with industry
[01:08:27] Representatives i've told chelsey paredi jarad car michael
[01:08:30] I was just like naming all these people not to ever trust with you. I trust you again
[01:08:38] At the draft house and he's like freaking out. He's like running around that's incredible
[01:08:44] And he's like who the fuck is josh wanda
[01:08:49] It's so good. Yeah, if you guys want to harass brandon
[01:08:53] You know in a fun way, you know, oh, okay
[01:08:56] Yeah, it's just for past adam and foodie only guests of the show if you're a guest of the show you can uh literally murder brand
[01:09:06] Um the best one was our friend. I won't say his name
[01:09:10] but we he was a vest wearing comedian in uh
[01:09:14] In washington dc you were a bunch of vests and so we're a bunch of vests
[01:09:18] You know, you know who were vests. No, I don't actually, you know
[01:09:21] There's a famous picture of him wearing a vest in front of a velvet curtain. Um
[01:09:27] Anyway, do you see where vests? Yeah, I think like in headshots he wore vests a lot. Yeah, anyway, so I said it
[01:09:40] Yeah, yeah, so we said someone else we said who's a friend of mine by the way. Yeah, well your friend of mine
[01:09:47] We sent him an email one of my closest friends. We said of a josh wanda email
[01:09:52] We were like uh josh wanda here and we think you're one of the vest dressed comedians in america
[01:09:58] And we'd like to invite you to the detroit comedy festival
[01:10:02] featuring the comedic stylings of the vest dressed comedians in the industry paula pounds
[01:10:12] And then he just wrote a one line reply that was just like all right. Yeah, give me give me the info
[01:10:20] Incredible. Yeah, we never even own back. It was a fun night
[01:10:23] Yeah, sounds my old fun. Steve harvey's been having a lot of controversies lately. Uh his wife said she
[01:10:29] Lived he stole his soul. He stole her soul. Yeah. He's the kill her soul 10 years with him destroyed her soul
[01:10:40] I don't know you like kegels. Yeah. Yeah, he goes in the caribbean. Yeah, that's a cruise that I run tie digs
[01:10:48] Yeah, kegels in the sea. She and cella got her house. Tell it got a goob back. Was that tie digs?
[01:10:55] Um, you know what did I ever even tell you how she gets her groove back?
[01:11:10] Just jeff ockford with a brain parasite. I'm gonna ask you here. What did they even tell you the toy's story anyway?
[01:11:32] Shindler's list. What was he making a list of you might be yeah, it was the jews
[01:11:37] Oh, right. Oh, oh, actually yeah. Hey, that got my be read back. Maybe not. I don't know
[01:11:48] I think most of it when he had it, but hey, what's up with all the all the F names on the four trucks. You know, is that
[01:12:03] Yeah, you know to make those two all right. Well, why don't you tell me where the fucking number stops and a smart guy
[01:12:10] And then I'll add a fucking number to it. That piece of shit. You fucking asshole
[01:12:19] He just starts having a seizure on stage
[01:12:28] That might be the best character we've had
[01:12:35] F tell me what the number stop inspector faggot's the best character
[01:12:39] Faggot's true, but but but it's back there