[00:00:00] Brandon Brandon's show with his wife

[00:00:04] There's a wife dude. Oh, that's true

[00:00:08] Are we are we go is this show going? Yeah, we already started

[00:00:11] I mean one of those cream of consciousness writer like I wanted to get tumbler girls

[00:00:15] Yeah, I wanted you wanted to get secretly no no I wanted to get a second of silence

[00:00:19] But you guys wouldn't listen to me so I just started recording it while you were talking shit on Brandon show

[00:00:23] I wasn't talking. Oh, yeah, I said he's yeah. We were I don't know why I'm lying about that

[00:00:28] Yeah, we're talking late in the one guy lower on the totem pole

[00:00:33] The end of the material human centipede Brandon Wardell

[00:00:37] The guy that right behind Adam. Do we joke on this on the show? Yeah, Lois on the bill for that show. Do we do we talk?

[00:00:44] Yes, about

[00:00:47] About what about how much that Japanese guy at the back of the human centipede would have loved that shit

[00:00:53] And they like pretend like he doesn't like it in the movie. I didn't I never saw you

[00:00:58] Oh, yeah, it's two hot girls and then a Japanese guy. Oh really? Yeah, he's in the middle. I think does he ever get the

[00:01:04] Maybe you know what maybe he's in the front with his mouth. Oh, that's funny

[00:01:07] I don't know but I'd love to be in the front

[00:01:09] You know, you know, he would like the German scientists would be telling him his plans and he would be like

[00:01:14] Thank you

[00:01:16] Thank you for this gift to me

[00:01:18] It's the only thing I have ever dreamed of is to be sewed together

[00:01:29] The front of the human centipede is not bad. Yeah, you know, you don't have to eat it

[00:01:32] We're gonna cubist we're talking about it one time. It's like what's the worst what's the ranking?

[00:01:37] Yeah, best of worst and then like there's all this all these people we were talking to that were like, you know, oh

[00:01:44] Well, you know the front's obviously that most ideal and then probably the back and then the middle and it's like no

[00:01:53] Do you get its first the front then the middle then the hundred percent?

[00:01:56] I mean at least getting your ass eating. Yeah, you're shitting in someone's you want to shit

[00:02:03] Right, that's a consolation. I would say that the front is almost good the front's great. Yeah

[00:02:09] That's a good thing to happen. Yeah, cuz you're the only one not suffering your whole life is just like like imagine if I was in the front

[00:02:17] And Adam was behind me. How happy I'd be why every day you're just eating my shit. It's funny

[00:02:22] I wouldn't last that long

[00:02:24] Probably die in that movie from from

[00:02:27] Oh from literally shit people accuse me of having

[00:02:31] You don't have any more that's like a that's like a meme people on the boards. Yeah

[00:02:39] People on game facts

[00:02:42] Dude, I had a rough week this week. You're used game facts. I never did I did I've never I don't know how any board works at all

[00:02:49] Yeah, I got to the internet much too late. We got it when I was just used it for porn, dude

[00:02:55] I never know I never I still understand how it works

[00:02:58] Like I tried to go on Reddit once I don't get it. Oh, I don't understand how it works

[00:03:04] Yeah, I've got it's own thing. That's different aren't aren't all boards that way though. It's like they're moderators

[00:03:09] Yeah, and there's there's like sub people vote for your like if it's good comment

[00:03:15] No, they don't have a voting stuff. Oh, no. Yeah, is that reddit is upvote down there? Yeah

[00:03:20] Yeah, yeah, sometimes I've tried to like get on other like boards where I'm like researching something and I just I'm too

[00:03:26] Stupid to understand the board so it's like I'm not gonna figure out how to boards are kind of an old thing

[00:03:31] I feel like yeah, it's like email. It's like not knowing how email works

[00:03:35] Well, I get email, but not boards man. I don't tell you I'm dumb. I'm an old man

[00:03:40] Because we didn't get I didn't get internet in my house. I had dial up when I was like I

[00:03:44] Don't know in freshman year of high school ninth grade. Yeah, we didn't get high speed internet until I was like

[00:03:50] In 10th grade you could use worms with dial up. Yeah, you don't know how you well

[00:03:55] I had a well at home or whatever the fuck the only thing I used it for was aim

[00:04:02] I'm on my mom's I dial up until like four years ago

[00:04:06] No way. Yeah, she just reviews and provides dial up

[00:04:10] She would get into like fights with Verizon cuz they would like we're gonna cut off your service

[00:04:14] Hell yeah, dude

[00:04:21] Yeah

[00:04:24] Yeah, that's what it stands for

[00:04:27] Man this I'm getting sluggish after this movie. I had a giant steak yesterday

[00:04:31] I saw that I was jealous. I know I made it myself. How'd you do it? I seared it. I use a salt and pepper

[00:04:37] You got a cast iron? Yeah, well, I am bird eyes. I use her

[00:04:40] I would use some butter and a little bit of what's that time?

[00:04:45] Yeah, yes time is good put a little bit of time is really big what you do is you put the fucking you put the pan at

[00:04:52] 500 degrees in the fucking oven well after you're screaming hot

[00:04:56] No, no, no to get a hottest shit and then you you put the fucking heat high throw the fucking pan

[00:05:01] It's already been in the oven. Yeah, yeah put that fucker on on there for like 90 seconds each side

[00:05:06] Hmm my own the the pan gets pretty fucking hot and you just need to sear it for God

[00:05:12] About two minutes each side. Yeah, I'm cooking mistakes pretty depends on what kind of steak it is

[00:05:17] You got to go ribeye. You're going straight ribeye ribeye. Yeah, that's my favorite. Yeah, yeah get that marbleization

[00:05:22] Hoping let's get fucking ribeye. We got to get boister's and we got to get a fucking ribeye

[00:05:27] We still need to go to peter peter Luger steakhouse fuck. Yeah, dude. I went with Ben. Let's go. Let's go try it back

[00:05:32] I'm down. I remember I was trying to come and you're like no actually. It's just me and Ben going

[00:05:40] People can have plans that don't involve you Nick. No, I'm going to eat

[00:05:44] I know baby about this man Ben Ben's like one of my best friends. We live in different cities

[00:05:48] I see him fucking six times a year also. They made a reservation for two

[00:05:52] It was said he was like I'm coming we're getting steaks and he had no point and said that they made a reservation

[00:05:56] There was a reset. He had a 6 p.m. Reservation with at Peter Liggers with Ben. Oh, did you go? Is that how you know?

[00:06:02] Adam was there. I invited my friends. I like it was me Adam Ben and then we're gonna add one more

[00:06:09] Brando or Del Skyped in we had our seat was there that girl Darcy hates

[00:06:16] Eve by Zora's there

[00:06:18] Brandon was telling everyone she's Jewish

[00:06:22] The whole restaurant loved it. They're like, hey, you gotta get a little of this girl. She's hilarious

[00:06:27] She's telling us she's Jewish. You've never heard such a funny joke in your life. Yeah, so

[00:06:33] Otherwise though, you know, I'd be happy to have involved you but you get it was a closed personal thing

[00:06:39] Yeah, Brandon ordered fidget spinners

[00:06:42] He ordered fucking chicken nuggets at a steakhouse

[00:06:46] But we should go get steaks for real and boister's to celebrate

[00:06:49] So there's a lot of reason to celebrate to it's on Trump's birthday. Is it? Yes, it's flag day. It's it's flag day

[00:06:59] Adams got a couple rainbow flags set up around his house. That's his flag couple

[00:07:04] I got it's like the United Nations over in my house. Yeah, just a hundred different rainbow flags

[00:07:10] It's different right you got the rainbow version of every country every country exactly every time you suck off a guy from a different country

[00:07:16] Gives you one of those well, I got actually just a 50 of the Israel rainbow

[00:07:21] About a couple of good shootings today the one at UPS and I've feuded with UPS numerous times

[00:07:27] Anytime anything bad happens in one of their transit centers

[00:07:34] That's pretty cool burn bro the Bernie bro's shot up a bunch of

[00:07:39] Congressman Blake softball, which is like, you know, yeah, it's like good, right? Yeah, if you're if you're good

[00:07:45] I'm just like if you're gonna be some fucking old asshole playing baseball fuck base

[00:07:50] Well, how many do you get how many do these balls gay dude?

[00:07:54] You're a fucking senator fucking fielding balls and shit get the fuck out of here

[00:07:59] How many years old 90 guns that they got at gun shows that aren't registered that were stockpiling to take arms against the government

[00:08:06] Had a backtrack today like a million probably

[00:08:09] Yeah, it is strange that it's a Bernie, bro. I mean, shout out, you know, ah

[00:08:13] Ah, it's we're getting in the world. I'm not shooting you know

[00:08:18] Yeah, we're we're getting you know, it wasn't just being

[00:08:23] Shovness that wasn't enough. It wasn't enough being mean to ladies now. We're shooting people too, dude

[00:08:28] We're getting in the game. So there was also a big fire in London, which was pretty cool. Was there? Yeah

[00:08:34] It was a Muslim fire a Muslim

[00:08:36] Apartment complex that burned down. Oh, yeah, you know what chalk went up for the good guys

[00:08:43] Take that

[00:08:45] That's all I feel so for today you would say it's it kind of evens out cuz it does a beautiful Republican senator got shot

[00:08:52] I'm so glad Muslim. No, I'm on I'm on board with the Bernie bro shooting. Okay, you're you're on every book

[00:08:57] You're so it's a good day

[00:09:00] Every act of violence your pro today 100%

[00:09:03] I'm also a transfer that yeah and flag day

[00:09:12] Yeah, I'm anti baseball fuck I didn't even know there was a UPS one yeah, the UPS one just happened

[00:09:17] Isn't that kind of like hack the poet going postal? There's a shooting of the bar

[00:09:21] No, it's a shitty job. Actually, you know what it's not UPS guys are teamsters and like even the dickheads is standing

[00:09:26] They make a fucking 18 dollars an hour. Yeah

[00:09:29] Yeah, we have family friend who is a pilot for UPS and he was fucking loaded a pilot. Yeah, yeah, but

[00:09:36] What post I would love to be a mailman

[00:09:38] Honestly, that shit would be tight you get a little shorts you need to walk around all fucking day

[00:09:44] Little hard you got to do a shit on a squat. So because you if you're a

[00:09:48] Imagine Adams legs going around. Yeah, Adam has horrible little bitch ass legs. Yeah, at least I've hair on my legs

[00:09:55] I have hair first of all stops. I barely have hair ball. That's not why

[00:10:10] When there's still little pieces of feathers on chicken fat, you know, I mean that's the worst

[00:10:15] I have beautiful fucking games you actually do have really powerful like good musculature. No wonder why you have really powerful

[00:10:24] Like how many fat guys have you seen with skinny legs bitch? Okay a lot a lot have

[00:10:30] I am a fuck. I'm a I'm an athletic specimen and that's what in your your, you know, I mean

[00:10:36] I agree nice legs and so do I and so this is you have horrible legs. Why right? I thought we're the nice like boys

[00:10:43] No, I think that was okay legs, but he works on them you you have entitlement you think I have I don't have

[00:10:50] I wish my calves were bigger. Yeah, it's it's that's one of the

[00:10:55] Most embarrassing things. Yeah, it's throughout throughout this life

[00:10:59] Yeah without meaty calves. That's that mill that was millhouse's thing and that future episode where Lisa is marrying that British guy

[00:11:08] Yeah house gets jagged and he can't get his calves going

[00:11:12] Your future millhouse bitch

[00:11:15] And your present millhouse. I'm just saving up for the implants. No, no my legs are nice, but I just

[00:11:21] I choose to sit you are kind of the Lisa Simpson of the podcast why because I'm good

[00:11:25] Yeah, cuz you like chime in with some bullshit. Yeah, what do you mean some bull the worst character on the show?

[00:11:33] I'm the best. I'm Homer

[00:11:36] Soprano of our podcast. I'm not I'm I'm so mean

[00:11:40] You're the Tony Soprano

[00:11:42] You're the girl from Gilligan that we talked about last week that they all fuck not met not the hot one the other one and

[00:11:49] Nicki's one Homer. Yeah, that's the part

[00:11:51] He's a friend of Nicki's Homer and you're the brutal

[00:11:55] Your Lisa from Gilligan's Island

[00:11:58] That's not true at all. I reject that. I reached all that

[00:12:03] Now you can't be Homer Homer's never been rude to anyone ever what he's not rude

[00:12:09] You so are you is that a serious thing? It's serious

[00:12:12] You know the fuck are you talking about who's he rude to literally everybody he slanders?

[00:12:18] He has no side winners is the nicest guy in the world and he's a piece of shit

[00:12:26] Essential part of the character. Oh, he doesn't mean to be he's fucking stupid. Well, yeah, it has no social grace

[00:12:31] But Nick is on purpose. I've literally modeled my personality after Homer Simpson. No, you haven't yes

[00:12:37] I have someone who's rude and doesn't understand why he's being rude

[00:12:40] You don't think that doesn't remind you of anyone in this fucking room right now. Okay, Nick

[00:12:44] You're you're Lisa

[00:12:47] Why am I Lisa she's smart. She's good at your lease if she wasn't smart. She has Liberty Spike hair

[00:12:52] It's one of my favorite jokes. I'll get back to mill houses when someone calls Millhouse a nerd

[00:12:56] He's like I'm not a nerd nerds are smart

[00:13:02] Indiana Jones, I'm the Ralphie is making me want to revisit the hat store dude

[00:13:07] We got to go back India Jones sucks by the way. Yeah, we had a nice day at that as you know

[00:13:11] I've tried to like these movies a million times and they're just fucking boring. Yeah

[00:13:16] It's just fucking slow and I like what the one has a race is

[00:13:20] Other than it was the Asian kid in the second one. Yeah, I got a John's

[00:13:25] Doca Jones. He fucked my ass

[00:13:29] Now short round I

[00:13:31] Don't have time to listen to your stories about getting fucked in the ass

[00:13:35] That's now that's a movie

[00:13:41] How old is Harrison Ford that motherfucker still flying 77 years

[00:13:45] Always in a crashing and shit. Yeah, so fucking he's fucking out

[00:13:50] Plain Southeast Asia

[00:13:52] I can go fuck short

[00:14:02] Did it like tweet like five or six years ago that's when Twitter was fun with with

[00:14:08] Indiana Jones looking at short rounds ass and he goes this belongs in a museum

[00:14:16] Hell yeah, hell yeah short round

[00:14:19] Yeah

[00:14:21] Yeah, who was also uh who was data in fucking Goonies. Oh was he?

[00:14:28] The only I was he the guy that was also in

[00:14:31] He's the 80s Charlie world movie long long long long

[00:14:36] Yes Jackie Chan

[00:14:41] How many 16 candles I'm a jaggy chan fan no one can say anything bad about that guy to me

[00:14:46] Oh

[00:14:48] He's gay and he's a bitch. Please do not say that to me

[00:14:52] And you're actually a bigger bitch than him if Jackie. J. Although you know what you know what that fucking cartoon

[00:14:57] I love that yeah Jackie Chan adventures. I can venture so good niece. Yeah, cuz he's so good Jackie Chan reproduces a sexually

[00:15:05] That's right. That's why he doesn't look like he's aged. They were actually on Jackie number seven

[00:15:10] He just lays an egg and then

[00:15:12] A smaller Jackie Chan comes out of it and eventually when they reach the same height five foot two

[00:15:18] They replace the old Jackie Chan with the new one

[00:15:23] Whatever all those jackies do their own stunts dude. Yeah, dude

[00:15:26] Wasn't he also important him and salon did porn before they got famous right with the other

[00:15:33] Jackie

[00:15:35] I think he did

[00:15:37] Huh? Locky Locky Balboa. Locky there we go. Yeah, Barboa. Dude. Come on fit it

[00:15:45] Dude, come on down all your eyes and cross all your teeth. That was that was really pull all your eyes back

[00:15:50] Cross all your lawns and then get all your green teas

[00:15:55] Your oolong teas did a did what's his name?

[00:15:58] Vin Diesel do gay porn or something? Yeah, what was a hobby like privately?

[00:16:04] Aside from all the fast and the furious movies. Yeah, he did gay porn the way you do gay porn

[00:16:09] Yeah, I know that still alone was like live it. He was home all the time. He was homeless

[00:16:14] gratification the

[00:16:15] The port authority bus station. Yeah, I've seen that viral video

[00:16:18] He had to sell his dog or whatever and he saw that for a soft core porn. Yeah, this buying dogs from homeless

[00:16:27] Exactly you the fuck bought it that that story is that dog died and he didn't want to say he has dog killed

[00:16:33] And I watched the founder of the other night what I'd about it's about

[00:16:38] Ray Crock. Oh, yeah, that was on the plane. I didn't watch the founder of Crock's. Yeah, he found it. Yeah

[00:16:45] Mike was made by Mario

[00:16:47] There isn't seen in the movie where he's like he's like that why he went with McDonald's

[00:16:51] He's like that's such a great name. Who's gonna buy something called Crock?

[00:16:56] That's a fun little dig at that dumbass you good

[00:16:58] Um, who's all right? I guess didn't he like fuck someone over isn't that yeah?

[00:17:03] He fucked everyone over nice. He didn't invent anything nice, but it's like we were arguing about it the other night

[00:17:09] It's like that's that's like not even a unique story in American business. Yeah, that's every bit every successful business

[00:17:14] Pretty much. Yeah, dude Microsoft was entirely like just Bill Gates

[00:17:18] The Winklevoss the Winklevoss. Yeah, the Winklevoss is invented Microsoft

[00:17:23] And Bill Gates stole the idea from yeah

[00:17:26] Well, what do you have such a fucking charismatic fucking frontman as Bill Gates?

[00:17:30] Imagine being such a nerd do the Bill Gates out charisma

[00:17:34] Bill Gates out charisma what he did is he bought he bought the operating system that was DOS rebranded it and then fucking

[00:17:44] Sold licensed it to IBM rather than just giving it to them to use on all their machines

[00:17:49] And then when other companies started making IBM clones

[00:17:52] Like he was able to you know, which I think was already happening prior to DOS being big

[00:17:59] But yeah, he was able to license it to all those different companies

[00:18:04] Dick sucking lips nice dick songs suck man

[00:18:09] like command

[00:18:11] That's chill I watched

[00:18:14] I watched the the fucking Logan movie on the plane Logan

[00:18:19] Yes, the oasis documentary in the oasis documentary was hilarious. Yeah. Yeah, they're like such bad boys

[00:18:25] They're like doing like hard drugs and stuff and their music just sounds so gay

[00:18:32] They're just like doing crystal method like a fucking hug my brotha like yeah, it's so funny

[00:18:37] Those guys are hilarious and all get sucked off in the meadow. Yeah in a show

[00:18:42] I'm super naive. Yeah, I've only heard closing time. That's the only oasis. That's Eagle. I cherry. Oh, no

[00:18:50] No, that's not that's is it no, it's not Eagle. I cherry who is that Buck cherry

[00:18:58] That's gonna be my father daughter dance with my daughter you're crazy crazy bitch

[00:19:06] Closing time

[00:19:08] Oh, yeah, that's ball. No, that's the road Tom Petty and the hard break one dude

[00:19:14] No, it's a one hit wonder Tom Petty and the dick suckers

[00:19:18] Your knowledge of music it. Well, you're like you listen to what like an uncle listens to no, I don't I don't like that shit

[00:19:24] He likes rap. Oh, yeah listen rap. Um it was yo guy

[00:19:28] Who wrote closing time that's crazy that no damn. Yeah, let's just I blind no no. I

[00:19:38] Don't fucking know some gay ass band. Yeah

[00:19:45] It's a gimmick song

[00:19:48] Literally wrote it like maybe they'll put this on at closing time

[00:19:52] Yeah, and we can get those fucking uh of those ass cap fees

[00:20:03] I'm really upset right now. Yeah, there's like I'm taking a cab in New York City

[00:20:09] And it's you know, please tip your driver

[00:20:13] My rock song I came up with

[00:20:17] Every new be get ending is a

[00:20:20] another mother fuckers cock

[00:20:24] That's good, you know, I've heard the song maybe I know who I want to suck me off

[00:20:34] You know

[00:20:36] Have you ever fucked a closing time Adam like a like a Hail Mary thrown a Hail Mary at closing time from the bar from the bar

[00:20:42] No, that's not how I fool girls and having sex. Yeah, I've never fucked off a bar. Yeah Nicholas. I have once or twice

[00:20:48] Um

[00:20:49] Yeah, once or yeah

[00:20:52] Austin. Yeah, that's the only place you can really do that. Yeah, play it's gotta be somewhere like that

[00:20:59] Oh, yeah, sure. I guess I don't drink here. Yeah, exactly. I kind of stop drinking too drinking really helps you just kind of like

[00:21:07] Fill in the gaps that your personality and fucking nerve

[00:21:11] Uh short at yeah, it is sort of like a stain you can pour over

[00:21:16] Yeah, the porous surface of your psyche. Yeah, just let it fill in all the gaps. Yeah, dude

[00:21:22] You just fucking you should put your arm around fucking bitches grabbing titties and shit. Yeah, you're becoming ready. You know, consensually

[00:21:30] You read what you got me. That's the beer assaulting

[00:21:36] No, it's a fun time you're getting your dick grabbed by drunk women, which happens to me all the time really oh, yeah

[00:21:41] Yeah, I feel like my big fat guy guys. I don't think that you have boundaries. You're right. It's true

[00:21:48] Yeah, yeah, look how fatty as you must be comfortable with his body. I can just touch him and do whatever I know I

[00:21:54] Touch like bald people's heads and shit absolutely

[00:21:57] Imagine that to a fat woman

[00:21:59] Just kind of like oh

[00:22:02] Look how brave you are

[00:22:07] Just on the bus

[00:22:09] How many people are the hearts do you have ma'am do people expect fat fat men to be happy

[00:22:15] Is that like a oh everyone's like a stereotype everyone's a jolly fat guy

[00:22:20] No one wants a it was a struggle dude. You know, I was a bad guy

[00:22:23] I was a moody fat boy, but society fucking molded me into a moody fat boy

[00:22:27] You just have to be like into insane clown posse. I couldn't do that. Yeah. You have to do like face makeup

[00:22:33] Yeah, if you're a moody

[00:22:35] A lot of hand gestures absolutely how's doing or be a wicker be like an angry fat white guy wicker

[00:22:43] Yeah, but those guys all think they're hot violent jay. Yeah big jay

[00:22:52] Wow, how did that take us that long? That was good. I was good

[00:22:57] Someone get that photoshop going

[00:22:59] um

[00:23:00] Yeah, no, I was definitely I definitely went into the fucking job. Oh, these fucking special effects suck dick

[00:23:05] I've never seen this part. It's good for like the 80s. I guess but it ain't the 80s. No more dude

[00:23:10] I'm not trying to watch George Mike in play center. You know what movies are all about dude. I want I want fucking

[00:23:16] computer graphics

[00:23:18] All my movies blade real life. Let's start out. What put in the garbage this part is all with anime

[00:23:24] What older are anime actually these little lightning bolts are kind of tight. Yeah, it's cool. I do fuck with this

[00:23:31] Oh shit, let's watch the guys face moat. Yeah, let's do the podcast and say yeah, yeah

[00:23:36] All right, yo, what what older this is a good question what older movies like from the 80s look good still

[00:23:42] Like blade runner. I was gonna say yeah blade runner still looks good

[00:23:46] I saw like the original star wars looks good. It does. Yeah, the advantage is a forward fair line

[00:23:52] Do you know that movie? No, it's the Andrew dice

[00:23:58] Dude, it's like a fucking rock a billy Andrew dice clay movie. Wow. These are great actor

[00:24:03] I dude have we talked about the new the show wait is there is there special effects in that movie?

[00:24:08] No, just mention it because because it's a dice a movie

[00:24:10] Yeah, any because I don't know that because I don't know that it's like the only movie you've seen that me and Adam haven't seen

[00:24:14] I haven't seen it because it's an Andrew dice. I haven't seen I've seen like 30% of it. Oh, I couldn't get a good stream

[00:24:20] So you are a cinephile

[00:24:24] Dropping these criterion collections. Let's see what have I seen from the 80s. Do you call it?

[00:24:29] criterion criteria criteria

[00:24:31] criterion

[00:24:33] All right, bitch. Um, someone you said the first time dude. I I know I do a league of their own

[00:24:39] Is that at the 80s? Yeah, what there's no special effects

[00:24:44] That's a photo shop all the they was all men playing

[00:24:47] I

[00:24:55] Dude she's made

[00:24:57] Riding the bus with my sister. No the rosy a Donald movie where she plays a mentally retarded one

[00:25:03] Yes, and it's like offensive that's awesome to me as somebody that is an advocate for that community

[00:25:09] I was like mortified

[00:25:11] Yeah, she does his weird voice. She's like

[00:25:20] I'll enjoy people talk like cartoon dogs

[00:25:33] It's really bad

[00:25:35] And you watch it and you're like fuck this must have been like early in her career and it's from like 2007

[00:25:42] Yes, from like way later

[00:25:45] It's like much later than you thought the rosy show bitch

[00:25:49] My favorite I love that as a comeback concept for her that she's gonna go tard

[00:25:53] Yeah, that was my shit. That was my post. That was my after-school viewing was that fucking rosy odontal show

[00:25:58] The kush balls. It's so funny

[00:26:00] Fuck yeah, you were sad when you found out she was yeah, I was religious as a

[00:26:06] Prayed

[00:26:08] Rosie a darlin. Huh? I remember being sad when I found out Nathan Lane was

[00:26:20] He's also like

[00:26:22] I mean, yeah, have the movies in his games hell right. Yeah. No, this is funny

[00:26:29] You don't know what gay is so there's like guys you just think they're like good at entertaining children

[00:26:35] like Tim Curry or mr. Rogers or

[00:26:38] You know Barney the dinosaurs game. Yeah, I'm all absolutely for sure

[00:26:44] Do you remember that real the purple?

[00:26:45] Teletubby that rumor about Steve from blues clues that he like raped a kid and they had to get rid of him

[00:26:50] No, he just lost his hair. No, he had a one-man show for a while

[00:26:54] Yeah, and he recorded an album. It's like not true

[00:26:57] But I remember everyone was like dude that guy Steve from blues clues, but he wasn't drugs or some shit, right?

[00:27:02] No, yeah, that's right. He became a heroine and he went bald. Yeah. Yeah, there's plenty of old movies that look great

[00:27:07] Oh, in fact, as you guys guys go bald

[00:27:10] Increasingly shot on like digital rather than film like it's a lot better

[00:27:14] It's gonna look a much better because they're gonna start doing like better rescans of old film

[00:27:20] Mm-hmm. This thing

[00:27:22] This thing is like one of the best movies that fucking movie rules. Yes, I've seen it and it rules

[00:27:27] Yeah, I've not seen butch casting the Sundance kid though. Wow. Well sting is good enough. You know

[00:27:34] Staying in the movie

[00:27:36] The wrestler

[00:27:38] Not the musician. He's terrible. He's the worst one. They have all the stuff. Yeah. Yeah, but they're nearly stinks

[00:27:45] The police are a really fucking bad band

[00:27:47] Rock said you don't have to suck off my heart dick. The only good police song is the

[00:27:54] The yalea yalea song. Yeah, no, that's that's that's from the jaguar commercial

[00:28:01] That was big when I went to grease in like desert rose

[00:28:04] Oh hell. Yeah, when I was a little I was a little kid and I went to grease and I was I was bumping that shit dude

[00:28:08] Riding up winding Greek roads with no fun. They got no fucking um, we sure move the grease

[00:28:13] I'm going you got motherfucker. She'd come dude. I'm going for a couple weeks in multiple cities

[00:28:19] I love that movie multiplicity. Yeah, I've seen it Michael Keaton as a retard. He also plays a retard

[00:28:25] No, he's not retarded. He clones himself. One of the clones is retarded

[00:28:31] And the name like set that up in the movie. They're like now be careful if you clone a clone. It'll be retarded

[00:28:37] And it's like I wonder if that's gonna happen at some point in this movie

[00:28:40] I think he's one of like the all-time coolest guys Keaton. We'll do he was a stand-up

[00:28:45] Yeah, he was a Pittsburgh

[00:28:46] He had a holding deal and the come whoever the fuck he was with wasn't putting him in any movie

[00:28:51] So he started doing stand-up and he was good at it and they let him be Batman. Yeah, he's a comic that they love that guy man

[00:28:58] Yeah, I love him so much. I'm like the Michael Keaton of the group. No, it's me. I'm not

[00:29:03] You're like the real party. Oh, you're about Kilmer. I'm Michael Keaton. No, I'm Michael. He I'm also Val Kilmer

[00:29:09] I would be

[00:29:10] Val Kilmer. I think is a is a fucking special talent. I think he's a genius. I think he's amazing. Yeah, you trolling?

[00:29:17] No, I'm serious. I'm in what sense is he why I think he's I think he's incredible in everything

[00:29:23] I think he's great in every heart the saints one of the greatest movies. I love that movie

[00:29:28] I've never seen that I've seen that

[00:29:30] Thief that uses all the different names of the saints is cover

[00:29:35] It's a bad movie, but he's

[00:29:37] Also those names are the most common name of the ball time. My name is Santa Claus

[00:29:43] I don't know where the diamonds are

[00:29:46] After you get through Matthew John Luke and the other one. I think he's a special being touched by God

[00:29:53] I don't know. I don't know chief some guy who said his name was Thomas Aquinas

[00:29:58] He said he needed to hold the banks money

[00:30:00] Yeah, dude, dude he was in uh, Magruder

[00:30:07] He was great Magruder, which is a slept on Magruder one of the funniest movies of the last 10 years

[00:30:11] Magruder's funny. You don't give it enough credit. Um, right?

[00:30:14] Phillipy all the movies that those guys have done. I think are fucking awesome. I go lonely island guys

[00:30:19] I agree hot rod was fucking great. You guys ever fuck with the website the lonely island website before Andy you're saying

[00:30:26] Before they got us and know I used to fuck with that shit

[00:30:29] Well, they had a pilot

[00:30:31] That is now online. You can see that called awesome town. I remember in college. We'd watch that

[00:30:36] The part of that money was your motherfucker the sensitive one

[00:30:40] Uh, break your motherfucking face with the butt of my gun. Yeah, uh rip off your arms and slap you

[00:30:46] Uh pull out my dick and fuck your ass with them something like that

[00:30:49] I don't know. I've I like those guys because they're like very much

[00:30:52] I feel like sort of similar to me as like sandler kids the juice

[00:30:56] No, no people that like grew up on sand like you're like if you were funny

[00:31:00] You don't mean Jews they're like if you were funnies what you're saying. Yeah, if I was funny

[00:31:04] I had any comedic talent. Yeah, if I had like good time

[00:31:08] Funny jokes and friends that were supportive of my ideas

[00:31:12] Yet two friends that you had a successful creative endeavor with

[00:31:16] My ideas are we supposed to be supportive of all of my ideas? I've I've name one pitch one

[00:31:22] All right, let's do this. This will be a pitch name one idea that isn't just you

[00:31:24] Stealing something

[00:31:29] You stopped right now pitch pitch what pitch pitch a mad idea

[00:31:34] I don't want to say it on the pod because people are gonna take it. Okay. Here's one

[00:31:38] We're all fucking centaurs. Okay. Okay. That's a good idea. Um your horse dies pita comes for your lower half

[00:31:51] You're gonna jail for animal abuse

[00:31:53] I got an idea and you guys gotta break me out. Yeah, I got an idea. Okay. Okay. I'm a kid

[00:31:59] They grew up like super poor right? Mm-hmm like one of the poorest kids

[00:32:03] In like in the country when I janitor something and you go fucking math problem

[00:32:08] Is this we're gonna do you're gonna take the plot of something else? Stop and it's toys come to life

[00:32:16] And he goes to college just toys after oh my god. Can I just pitch my ideas called toy story

[00:32:22] Has anyone done that?

[00:32:25] What is some other you got an old wooden dreidel that's your favorite

[00:32:29] Cowboy dreidel befriend Dan deacon

[00:32:34] You asked me maybe someone adults right now. Okay, which are you the poorest kid in the world

[00:32:40] I'm the one of the poorest kids in the country. Uh-huh

[00:32:44] and then

[00:32:45] I get I get some gone who wants to be a millionaire

[00:32:48] Okay, oh, so you're literally the questions. This is just make me think of stories from my life. Okay slum dog million

[00:32:55] We got it. You're doing exactly what we said

[00:32:58] I've never heard that. I'm talking about million last time. I don't know. We thought it was that was a movie about indians dancing

[00:33:06] They dance in it. I was a very confusing movie for me

[00:33:10] Yeah, me at the boogie. Do you guys remember poo Jabi MC?

[00:33:12] I don't know if I've seen slum dog

[00:33:13] Do they blind children in that movie? No, he's like an untouchable. What's the indian movie where they pour a boiling water in children's eyes?

[00:33:22] Aladdin. Yeah, there's a lot. I don't know. I don't know. That's a movie I saw and I thought it was some dog laying there

[00:33:28] Is that a real movie? Yeah

[00:33:30] It's like he's indian street kids and people will snatch him up and they want the boiling water and their fucking eyeballs life of pie

[00:33:37] No

[00:33:38] What are the indian movies are there?

[00:33:40] Shit, uh, bollywood. Yeah, like I seriously thought that was slum dog. No later. You did it's about a call center

[00:33:49] Because as much people that we're gonna call center and there's indian kids getting their eyes pulled

[00:33:55] No, that's not it. Oh, yeah

[00:33:57] Oh, maybe that's my own original idea. Yeah, it's much better than that. Hey now. We're doing now. We got a lot of original dude

[00:34:02] That was brand's idea actually that's good. Um, I got one. Okay. Hit hit us. Okay

[00:34:10] You guys ready for this? Mm-hmm. Yeah. All right. There's uh, I play like a new york city cab driver. Okay, right?

[00:34:19] I'm just sick of all the foreign. Are you foreign? No, no, thank you very much. No, I'm like a italian kind of guy. Okay. Okay

[00:34:27] I'm just sick about it. Here's a

[00:34:29] It's a it's a it's a

[00:34:31] Bio-pier about adam's life urnis board nine blaze adam he goes to jail for raping an eight-year-old korean girl

[00:34:38] And while in prison while being violently sodomized

[00:34:43] As payback uh-huh. He befriends a muslim guy

[00:34:47] And then they try and solve israel palestine from prison from prison from prison by being gay with each other

[00:34:53] But it turns out the guy was a terrorist all along. Yeah, and it's the guy from the night of

[00:34:57] Yeah

[00:34:58] Res

[00:34:59] On head

[00:35:00] Problem is that urnis board nine has a no gay sex clause

[00:35:08] So you get a double yeah, you get it urnis boy. We can't get board nine. Who do we get to play adam?

[00:35:14] Someone gay. No, he's probably he's five whole finkles see

[00:35:19] Is he alive still five ish five ish finkles see five ish finkles. See five ish finkles

[00:35:23] Yeah, we get five ish you play adam. What was he was he in the monster monsters?

[00:35:31] If someone were to play me it would probably be the guy chris multisanti that guy

[00:35:37] Michael imperial Michael Imperial Lee no

[00:35:40] Nick was saying actually when we're watching those goths or watching suppress the other day

[00:35:44] He was saying something incredibly woke which is like look at how big Michael Imperial Lee's nose is

[00:35:49] Why do we have to say that about Jews when they're all types of people with big noses?

[00:35:54] No, when I said when I said why thallions are have my biggest noises

[00:36:00] There are

[00:36:00] Something old school races he was counting Italians as a different right what I said literally was Italians are worse than Jews

[00:36:10] When it comes to that

[00:36:12] Woke about that statement at all

[00:36:14] First for saying I'm not the worst and I appreciate that also I don't know pound for pound nose for nose

[00:36:22] I think you still still my nose. It's fun. It's Italians

[00:36:26] Isn't that a little nose Italians though? I don't see a lot of little nose sure yes, there are they're plenty. I don't think so yes, there are

[00:36:33] Name one

[00:36:35] I know like a bunch name one. Yeah, but you're still by goldberg

[00:36:40] Yeah, uh Rachel

[00:36:42] uh

[00:36:43] Burke Bergman

[00:36:45] Pretty sure that woman who got her face chewed off by that chimpanzee was Jewish

[00:36:50] That's why the nose attracted. She doesn't even have a nose anymore. Oh, that's true. All right. You get her. I'll give you her

[00:36:55] Yeah, that counts

[00:36:57] That's okay

[00:36:59] Um, what a dumb story. What a hilarious dumb story. I mean, what the fuck kind of dumb bitch are you?

[00:37:05] You're gonna fucking bring a champ into your home. You know, I'm wild. Wasn't it her friend's gym

[00:37:09] She was friends with the woman who owned the champ. I thought it was the woman who owned the champ

[00:37:14] No, it was either way you're hanging out with a fucking champ like it's a like it's your friend

[00:37:20] Not a wild day. I think in popular culture chimps are presented as nice, but in real life. They're really mean and strong

[00:37:27] They're super strong now who's on woke

[00:37:30] Yeah, I'm just saying I don't trust yeah very funny. I'm not saying that as a joke. Oh, wait, we all know you're talking about

[00:37:37] You get it. Yeah, I was talking about the animal but tone atom is kind of weird, dude

[00:37:43] What do you mean my tone? We know what you mean?

[00:37:45] All right, I was talking about literal chimps and you

[00:37:48] You were you were winking every time you get winking. I don't understand what you rag on the floor. Yeah, why is that?

[00:37:56] Yeah

[00:37:59] My secret signal

[00:38:01] What I call the silent alarm of racism

[00:38:09] Fuck we should just have a bunch

[00:38:11] Does that is that racist if you just?

[00:38:13] Carry around little artifacts like you a little gong a little dradled

[00:38:19] Point to him when you want to say something racist about I don't know is that reason?

[00:38:23] I don't know guys. I don't know. That should be they should rebrand lucky charms is like a racist cereal

[00:38:28] That all the marshmallows should be like different. I love it

[00:38:32] Like you know like a fucking a little blackface guy. Mm-hmm. That's was the good. Yeah, so I stick uh, maybe cool for kids

[00:38:40] Whoa to learn about heritage. Yeah, it's oh, it's okay. It's history, baby

[00:38:45] I love it. She also draw a dick on Tony the tiger

[00:38:48] That's another change I would make if I was general mills

[00:38:51] To draw a dick like as like a graffiti to the face of him or no he should have a realistic penis

[00:38:57] A flaccid penis obviously. Mm-hmm and the tip of it is blue. I'm sure it's I'm sure it's on deviant art

[00:39:04] It's definitely of course it is. I'm sure it's the only reason I'm thinking about it

[00:39:07] We've all seen it. You've seen it. I don't send it. I've sent it to the chat numerous times

[00:39:11] We talked about this the three of us have talked about it. Yeah when

[00:39:15] Oh looks like someone has no joke about it that you can steal. I read the text messages

[00:39:20] And you know what I like the most about the text messages the respect

[00:39:23] Now the respect for the podcast carries over the text look at what's your boyfriend val Kilmer on the tv

[00:39:31] Yeah, no one's in the greatest actor of our generation. I am really I'm sorry

[00:39:36] You can't convince me otherwise. I think he's one of the greatest actors in the world. Just fine

[00:39:40] No, I disagree and he was hot back in the day. He was a man. He was a beautiful man. Yeah, he's sexy

[00:39:45] Look how incredible looking he is. That is a movie star right there

[00:39:49] Yeah, that guy kind of looks like him in a

[00:39:51] Sebastian Bach the most beautiful

[00:39:55] That man skid row

[00:39:58] Uh, what was that? What was that?

[00:40:00] Shoot them up. Yeah, how's he gonna fucking have that name dude?

[00:40:04] Skid road Sebastian. He's Canadian, isn't he? I have no idea

[00:40:10] Uh, they had a couple good hits. What was the fucking?

[00:40:13] There's the one where it's like Amadeus Mozart. No

[00:40:16] The one with like the the kid fuck's up. I don't know. It was a hair 18 in life

[00:40:23] 18 in life. That's a like big one. That's a good one. Then they had like uh

[00:40:27] Like slower uh when it was like power balance

[00:40:33] I didn't listen to much of that. I was listening to more Joan Barry's socks

[00:40:36] I don't know why they fucking hid in the middle band

[00:40:38] I love that shit dude. Like fuck that music was the worst. It was like Queen Queen's Reich

[00:40:43] I never fuck with Queen's Reich. I like some Molly crew though. Well, it was all because of the priest and early Molly crew rules

[00:40:49] No, Judas priest is good. No, made it and priest were good and then everyone tried to rip it off Ironmanes whatever maiden rules

[00:40:56] Hair medals a different category. You're confusing. You're confusing the new wave of British heavy metal with hair metal

[00:41:03] Well, I think that's what the two-conquered labels. No labels. I like shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

[00:41:07] You know what what movie captures that scene really rat that scene really well is uh fucking air heads

[00:41:14] Did you ever see that movie? I I loved air heads when I was a

[00:41:19] Watch I know I'm not on Comedy Central. I had a thing from Blockbuster VHS and I would fucking watch that movie every

[00:41:25] It's incredible. The

[00:41:34] Pressure is before Sandler was like Kramer. Yes

[00:41:39] In a vent he's a whole movie

[00:41:42] Just doing fucking physical comedy no N words was he ever

[00:41:47] Anything other than Seinfeld did he fucking have a yeah, he had his own show the mic

[00:41:51] But I mean like was there because that was a good role for him because he's just doing Kramer

[00:41:55] Yeah, he was in a couple of other movies

[00:41:57] Yeah, just oh he was in that movie that weird album of you right you a chef you a chef was that's good

[00:42:03] I know I don't fucking weirdo's you a song but that movie is uh good fuck off dude weirdo's type

[00:42:09] Whatever. I used to love that shit. Yeah, what it doesn't matter the point is this mad because that fat song

[00:42:15] I am yeah, you probably loved weirdo and then that song came out

[00:42:24] Yank a bitch

[00:42:26] Letter

[00:42:33] Did he kuleo get mad at him about Amish paradise. Yeah, probably he's like this is a serious song about about like a

[00:42:40] Paradise about gangsters filled with a bunch of warning do rags

[00:42:44] On the floor why did that come from?

[00:42:49] Said that's so

[00:42:51] racist that's such a weird thing to think of it is a weird thing to think of yeah, you should probably remember it and then forget where you

[00:42:58] You should bring it up in the two-pond

[00:43:01] Stop it right now. Stop tarnishing my name. I can't wait till you say

[00:43:06] The carrot cocoa butter on the floor that

[00:43:10] The character assassination

[00:43:12] Greatest comedy show of all time on June 20th

[00:43:17] I'm gonna wear a fucking shitty Williamsburg bar

[00:43:21] Where is it? What's it called? I don't know dude. Can you stop it? No? Can you stop it? No, dude?

[00:43:26] I'm fucking negativity central whatever who gives a shit? I don't care. I don't give a shit either

[00:43:32] Um, what the fuck were we just talking about? I mean you're supposed to get old and be bitter right?

[00:43:37] Yeah, but you're like 23 years old. We're not that old. Oh by the way that to the whole HIV positive

[00:43:44] Follow me on my shit. Oh, yeah stop the sexy bug. Stop it baby, too

[00:43:50] Follow your boy. Oh, then I'm back in the back

[00:43:53] In any gimmick it's art. You know what man the best thing that ever happened

[00:43:56] I was having that account shut down. No, I will listen we can show on Adam's dumb

[00:44:01] Things are going on in his life, but this is I'm telling you man. This is my shit

[00:44:05] At least I'm not trying to engine-holing yourself. Yeah, I'm gonna be a model dude. You're not gonna stop me

[00:44:10] I'm gonna be a plus-sized model. I'm gonna be on fucking magazines. That was like fat. What if you lose weight? No, I can lose weight

[00:44:17] I still know you can't do it anymore. If you're like healthy. Wow. All bodies are beautiful at him

[00:44:22] Apparently not mine. You guys were shitting on my legs earlier all bodies except yours

[00:44:26] I have a very nice tone body and your little ass fucking toothpick legs

[00:44:29] I have nice legs and I just choose to sit gaily with them. No. No, you don't. Yes, I do and it's a choice

[00:44:36] Anyway, neurological choice

[00:44:39] Like like being gay

[00:44:41] what

[00:44:42] Anyway, you are sitting in a hilarious position right now and it was presenting his asshole to me

[00:44:48] I remember like being a kid and knowing that it was like wrong to sit that way. Yeah on your side with your legs folded up

[00:44:55] Yeah, yeah, yeah, I would never be caught dead doing that. What about this?

[00:44:58] That's that's fine. Now you look alpha that that's like that's like a

[00:45:03] Moroccan businessman

[00:45:07] My friend please come here. Don't look at me. Please. I used to think when I was a kid

[00:45:11] We have we have big pipe to smoke together. What are they doing? Morocco? I know they don't drink

[00:45:17] They smoke hooker. They got spicy foods. They pack mad hooks. They taste spices

[00:45:23] Me and my friend, please do it. They're too. They spice

[00:45:26] Here coria, please you come here to taste spice with me

[00:45:32] Faracas fly home in carpet. They wear little pheasas, dude. Yeah, we're gonna do it pheas

[00:45:38] The home of the pheas. That's where he don is from. He don's moroccan zinadine. Yeah, but he plays for france

[00:45:44] I love how the french soccer team is just really good african dudes. Yeah French speaking african countries

[00:45:51] Yeah, yeah, and then people are like oh colonialism is bad. Yeah

[00:45:57] One negative

[00:46:00] I can do the third

[00:46:04] See don's the fucking now he's managing he's fucking yeah

[00:46:08] Yeah, dude. I want to start like a and that's a cool bit soccer minute to get colonial Williamsburg shut down

[00:46:16] I bet you could do it. I bet you could fucking get them to shut down colonial. We'll let's try it

[00:46:20] You started off of a stink or how about this because it's just as bad as like, you know heritage not hate

[00:46:27] Right colonialism is bad. Let's turn it. No, brooklyn Williamsburg into colonial Williamsburg. Oh my god

[00:46:35] When you do the show I did a joke today no

[00:46:39] When on the podcast at one point I made a joke run the tape about how both of them are sort of colonial Williamsburg

[00:46:47] Pretty obvious connection to make. Oh now you're shitting on the joke. You tried to steal

[00:46:54] How would I steal a joke new fucking parasite

[00:47:01] You've stolen from me

[00:47:04] Both of you. I've never stolen anything. Yes, you both

[00:47:08] We both tweeted gay political shit to try and get retweeted on purpose flower

[00:47:13] flower kids

[00:47:15] I've stole that joke to me about

[00:47:18] Being so fat that I have to pee a lot

[00:47:21] That's my joke. That's your joke. Yeah, and nyx stole the joke for me about um

[00:47:26] Harambe

[00:47:27] About yeah, it takes out her

[00:47:30] Harambe that mean great me and I started yeah, we started that meme well, we're bringing it back actually

[00:47:35] We literally should that would be hilarious

[00:47:38] Yo, what's up dicks out for Harambe? Is it is it long enough for it to be ironically funny?

[00:47:42] No, it's not long enough, which makes it funnier, right?

[00:47:46] I'll never cycle back in because it was like instantly

[00:47:51] Um like past through the not funny anymore phase to it's already gonna be ironically funny in perpetuity right right and so like

[00:48:02] It was it'll never was funny and never will be right right right right right it was funny

[00:48:07] But it will be funny. Yeah, you loved it the day it starts because it's not funny because it's not funny

[00:48:13] It went like immediately to but what I'm saying is it'll be funny in terms of making Brandon mad

[00:48:17] Oh, yeah, it's a big fun of Brandon and you're confusing me writing a good stand-up bit about a thing that happened

[00:48:23] Yeah, you know the thing in your act about it. No, but it's I wrote a joke

[00:48:26] I mean I can write a joke about something that happens. It's not me thinking. It's just funny that a gorilla is named harambe

[00:48:33] No, but you thought that the social

[00:48:35] Uh the you know this the reaction to it was funny. That's what everyone was responding to. No, I wrote a joke about it

[00:48:42] It's a comedian and that's my job

[00:48:45] Well, okay, so I wonder how much you made from from that joke

[00:48:50] 150,000

[00:48:52] Okay, same correct it. Yeah, do you even have do you even have a fucking account at the comedian store?

[00:48:57] That's where me and nico we get paid out for our pitch when we write them. Yeah, let's yeah

[00:49:01] Let's let's just let's start listing off clubs that we've worked that we like

[00:49:06] We'll do it all three of us. We're gonna list up. You're gonna list off New York. Yeah, sure. All right

[00:49:12] Carolines good club. New York comedy club. Yeah, that one's good. Yeah, you've never performed there Adam your turn

[00:49:18] I enjoyed performing at the comedy seller actually

[00:49:22] In the oh really I I

[00:49:24] I was the village underground which one did you at?

[00:49:26] I was at the main room the comedy seller the seller part actually um if anyone who listens the show knows

[00:49:34] Uh the people of the comedy seller feel free to tell them that Adam Friedland is going around telling people he's a past

[00:49:41] seller comedian

[00:49:43] Fun he's doing it maliciously

[00:49:45] To sully the name. Can I tell you about my night last night? Yeah, no, okay. I went I went out

[00:49:51] You got a slice of pizza. Oh good. We all know we're just

[00:50:00] I bought a slice of pizza you came out of the subway, but I only ate half the pizza

[00:50:04] Were you daughter's annoying? They're a cunts. Yeah, my daughters are being cut. What about your ex-wife? I found this

[00:50:09] ex-wives black

[00:50:11] I found this like youtube video. It was either youtube or like vine or twitter or something other German

[00:50:15] Yeah, there's just a German guy that was like, yeah, here it is. Uh, well, we get said the pizza

[00:50:26] It was village and screaming that's awesome. That place is a pizza minetta

[00:50:31] What's the place called? I don't know it's right on the corner. Yeah, it's right on the corner. It's like bends or some

[00:50:37] Yeah, yeah, that's it. They got a good grandma slice. Yeah, it is good

[00:50:40] They have a fucking a sign that says

[00:50:42] This says like artichoke spatial

[00:50:46] Yes special spic I a yes, but there is an artichoke by there artichoke pieces

[00:50:52] Yeah, fuck artichoke pizza artichoke pizza socks, dude. It's not a new york style creamy. It isn't no and the bread is all fucking thick

[00:50:59] Yeah, that's bullshit. I like a thin crust nice little thin crust. I like it

[00:51:05] I like a chicago style fork and knife kind of pizza. What if we open one of those real pie real pie

[00:51:12] You know though, I will say pizza. I had some doughy-ass delicious crust. I agree

[00:51:18] Peaches picheria uno. Yeah, I remember that place. They have one on like 73rd or something. There's one in a story actually up to me

[00:51:25] Yeah

[00:51:27] I've only been to a couple of them, but I like I like them

[00:51:29] Do you remember? I'm a fan of people

[00:51:35] Do you remember round table huh round table piece?

[00:51:38] It was like a king arthur salp. Isn't that what herman k-nowned? No godfather godfather. That's right

[00:51:45] Round table. What does king arthur style mean? Uh, it was just that had a kind of a night aesthetic

[00:51:51] What is a piece of place, but yeah, yeah

[00:51:54] um

[00:51:56] Little Caesars

[00:51:58] Fuck his name. He was just named pizza restaurant

[00:52:01] But five dollars hot and ready pretty good deal when I was working at the damn

[00:52:05] Paint store I would I would scarf down a couple of you know what instead of get stakes. We should go to pizza hunt boys

[00:52:11] No, dude. I'm a paleo warrior. I want to go to a pizza hunt restaurant

[00:52:14] I haven't had a good you know what I ordered so much

[00:52:17] Good new york pizza that I haven't had a shitty pizza in a long time

[00:52:21] I went to the papa johns in china town one time and got a large pizza there. Yeah, the menu's all in chinese

[00:52:31] Hell yeah, it's just sea urchin pizza. Yeah, it was great

[00:52:35] Um, I was it I was taking your comedy club again a comedy club that I perform at where's that?

[00:52:40] Um, where is it? I just I don't know. I'm more into avant garde. Yeah. Yeah avant garde performance spaces getting both spaces getting booked is hack

[00:52:49] Right. Yeah, how you feel? I well, I think I love to be on comedy shows where the people that I consider contemporaries have never actually done stand

[00:52:58] I don't even consider funny. I like to be the only non-feminist tweet reader on a show. I like that

[00:53:05] That's that's my vibe guys. That's my wheelhouse

[00:53:09] Uh, but yeah, Alexis Guerrero's, you know how he fucking always talks about how he loves pizza and shit

[00:53:13] Yeah, he claimed he had never he loves every type of food

[00:53:17] I know but he claimed he had never seen a papa john's pizza in his life never seen

[00:53:25] The

[00:53:27] Seen it

[00:53:29] I mean you've eaten it

[00:53:30] Anyway, roby sloughley just bought I ever I ever heard

[00:53:34] More things about Alexis is like I've never once interacted with that guy where food doesn't come up of course no ever

[00:53:42] Absolutely

[00:53:44] I mean I I'm a gourmand myself. Yeah, it's fine

[00:53:49] But he fucking uh there's one time I was standing outside of a club and I heard him talking to somebody else

[00:53:54] And he was saying something like uh like oh, yeah, there's this other play. It was a secret bakery. It's not open to the public

[00:54:04] That is that's the highest level of fat guy shit knowing series just fucking obese people

[00:54:10] Licking fucking frosting off each other's fingers

[00:54:12] Um fuck yeah, but yeah, so roby ordered a papa john's pizza

[00:54:17] I had so I had a slice for all time steak that was my family's pizza of choice growing up was papa john's then later

[00:54:24] Philippo's I didn't discover popa john's until I was an adult really step sisters loved

[00:54:30] Domino's they would order from domino's domino's is the absolute worst still sucks

[00:54:36] It's a little better now

[00:54:37] It's not good

[00:54:37] but they would only order domino's and then I became an adult and I started ordering papa john's the app is cool and uh

[00:54:44] It's the best pizza. Yeah, it's

[00:54:47] Yeah

[00:54:49] Pizza is the best

[00:54:51] I think pizza isn't like a growing up. It was delivery. No, maybe in vegas

[00:54:57] Not in Maryland. I think I think some places delivered

[00:55:00] But it was a rarity to actually see people my family ordered pizza. We would get pizza

[00:55:05] But well, well, well, we get it

[00:55:07] It's also pizza. It doesn't I'm pretty sure pizza doesn't work like fucking loaded

[00:55:12] Gaddies pizza papa john's domino's

[00:55:16] fucking uh, they'll operate on the same

[00:55:20] Like it's you go in the kitchen. It looks identical right right?

[00:55:23] Same make line industrial

[00:55:25] Yeah

[00:55:26] And it's like a process to like once you order the pizza

[00:55:29] It'll be like in the oven in like four and a half minutes. Yes. It's like people from corporate that come by

[00:55:36] Right. I was actually working at domino's when I started doing stand-up

[00:55:39] And I like one of the first bits I did was about like the corporate inspection process

[00:55:45] Domino like they send a fucking woman from domino's corporate that like literally counts the pepperonis

[00:55:52] On the pizza. How many pepperonis on a large?

[00:55:54] On an extra large. I think it's like 25 pepperonis or some shit very nice. Um, that's quality control

[00:56:01] It's bullshit. It's what it is. Who's fucking cat my little my favorite moment

[00:56:07] And all my time working in pizza was this indian family that used to call into the domino's

[00:56:13] And they would order vegetarian pizza

[00:56:15] And they'd be like and it is very important that the cutter does not use

[00:56:20] On a meat pizza also and so it has to be a different cutter to cut the pizza

[00:56:27] And I'd be like oh, yeah, absolutely of course. Yeah, and then just immediately just cut right your

[00:56:32] Rub pepperoni of my shit. Yeah, of course fuck you

[00:56:35] Because it's not an allergy thing. It's just stupid fucking religion right right right. I think it's a smart religion

[00:56:42] Personally, I think all religions are beautiful

[00:56:45] Don't touch my playstation controller. Why?

[00:56:47] But your fucking hands off them. I'm not touching anything

[00:56:51] Which religion? Adam's gonna come back as a toilet in india. That's what he's gonna be reincarnated as

[00:56:57] Yeah, well big shit eating toilet. I want to be reincarnated as me, but with a bigger dude. That's one of my ideas

[00:57:04] Hell yeah, dude. That's a badass. That's a cool cast system. Exactly the same as me. Yeah, but big ass

[00:57:11] You

[00:57:14] You'll know you're reaching nirvana when you're just like 14 in just long

[00:57:18] And just like bode darma's legs fell off because he like sat and meditated for so long

[00:57:23] But I think it's because his dick was so big so big dude the guys dick harvings cut off the circulation

[00:57:27] It was like spell off bode darma. Who's that the first zen monk?

[00:57:33] Dharma from darma and greg yeah

[00:57:35] That actually I've done that joke

[00:57:37] No, you haven't I did episode 11

[00:57:42] Yeah, so 11. Yeah, if you want to run the tape

[00:57:45] Yeah, I'd love to run the tape

[00:57:46] All right, but if you don't if we run it back and you didn't do it we get to break your glasses

[00:57:50] Why do you get to break my glasses?

[00:57:52] Somebody check if if a good boy's out there. No one is checking

[00:57:57] If in fact, I almost like the show you might have stolen a darmon greg joke from one of us

[00:58:02] It feels like you did when I don't know but it feels that way

[00:58:05] You actually even watched arm and greg because I did I did too. I remember it. Who was in it?

[00:58:10] Dharma and greg

[00:58:12] It was that guy eric something that played greg. What's the name? What was the woman's name? Nope? His name is greg

[00:58:18] Not in real life. What was the woman's name? The character's name is greg. Jana. Oh, it's all right. All right, all right

[00:58:23] Jana elfman. It's a guy named greg

[00:58:25] On the show and a woman named darma. Oh wow because I just made that joke. That's what joke

[00:58:31] I'm describing the show to you. He asked me what the people's name was and I said darma and greg

[00:58:36] And then you 20 seconds later. No, you said it was a guy named eric

[00:58:39] You stopped really up here. No, that's a cop. Oh, yeah, it stopped back me up

[00:58:43] 100% said eric. He said an odd eric. Oh, because you're the captain. You said it boss. He has to back you up

[00:58:49] Obviously he's gonna back you up

[00:58:51] Nick is a fuck. What was so? I was a fucking union scab

[00:58:54] Yeah, he would not stand by my side. They're not in the union. No, we're union

[00:59:00] The boss

[00:59:02] Talking about no we're union you're the boss your foot. What was your name pussy?

[00:59:07] Our boss pussy mouth. That was your nickname pussy mouth. Yeah, I'm big pussy. I'm candy lips

[00:59:14] I'm big pussy mouth bumping Sarah. You know, it's a great movie what joy ride?

[00:59:19] Yeah, oh with uh Steve's on Paul Walker and I forget who the girl is

[00:59:25] Let's get Paul back under the under the hood. Let's get him on the podcast

[00:59:28] Got a nude Paul Walker in that. Ooh front front nude fully nude. You see his cock

[00:59:33] You see his dick going into his own mouth

[00:59:37] His dick is the most so cal deck I've ever seen. Yeah, is it nice got a visor on it?

[00:59:42] Yeah

[00:59:44] We got circumcise

[00:59:47] He's forcing it into an upside down visor

[00:59:51] One of the ball one of his ball hairs has like beaded hair

[00:59:57] Yeah, cool packs on

[00:59:59] Remember being intimidated by that store when I was me too. No joke. I swear to god. I thought it was too cool for me

[01:00:04] Yeah, I'm not even kidding. That's exactly how I felt

[01:00:07] I'm like just for cool kids go. That's so fucking funny

[01:00:14] I swear to god that's how I felt

[01:00:16] I did not feel ready for fucking packs, man. Dude

[01:00:20] Yeah, I would just go to value city and hope there was billabong there like discount billabong

[01:00:26] Value city. Yeah, I'll get it from

[01:00:28] From the J max. I remember I had a quick silver wallet. That was like as close as I could guess. Yes, dude. Hell yes flying too close to the sun. Oh

[01:00:38] My god, it's funny maybe

[01:00:41] For any more but I

[01:00:43] I saw cock fields wall at one time and he still uses one of those like velcro

[01:00:48] Yeah, they just

[01:00:50] Yeah, like threefold isn't a man's wall like that like oh, that's a big boy's wallet. That's a fucking up

[01:00:59] What do you think of it?

[01:01:01] No mice and smooth

[01:01:03] I want to get a good one. You're a cash on me. You don't carry cash. Oh cryptocurrency. How you call yourself a man then

[01:01:10] What do these men carry cash? Yeah, that's what being a man is all about. How many give me your wallet? No, let's see your wallet

[01:01:16] No, I brought his purse with him

[01:01:18] No, you can't go back. Yeah here. There's a diva cup in here

[01:01:24] some tampons

[01:01:25] Roxanne gaze book

[01:01:29] I don't think it's nice to call her that name. What is that not her name?

[01:01:34] Roxanne put on the red velvet

[01:01:40] Uh fuck

[01:01:41] Yeah, dude stop. Do you believe in her?

[01:01:43] Her are you like do you identify with her fat stuff? Dude?

[01:01:48] I'm first and foremost. I'm fat. Yeah, then I'm everything else

[01:01:52] American Greek Greek number one no no fat Christian Greek American

[01:02:00] lover

[01:02:02] Son that's it dude. That's the hierarchy. What about comic?

[01:02:07] Uh comic comic last no I appreciate that you know

[01:02:11] You know what's yours? What's yours? Uh consumer racist

[01:02:16] shorts

[01:02:18] Uh laser tag

[01:02:21] enthusiast laser tag

[01:02:23] Yeah, number one israel number two

[01:02:27] Number two friends of chapter

[01:02:31] Good good friends good friends with chappa

[01:02:35] Number three my extension sort of friends with the number three uh wed to dsa meeting one time and paid the membership fee

[01:02:43] number four

[01:02:44] Crypto gay number five girl version of e-pizer

[01:02:50] That's not nice. I know that's not nice to me. It's a double whammy

[01:02:55] That's a double whammy

[01:02:57] And nobody can get mad at me because in your then that tells me something about how you feel about gender

[01:03:03] Absolutely. That's what you call a gotcha

[01:03:07] Operation what was it

[01:03:11] Yeah

[01:03:13] Can I just say my number five

[01:03:15] Sure latin next oh man stop. We got to get this field of tracksuit dude

[01:03:19] I've been looking online for field of track suits. I can't find any good ones. No. I want the lure feel it

[01:03:23] Yeah, that looks I want the one poly has yeah adam don't pretend like you're involved

[01:03:28] What are you talking about you don't know any idea no it was it was oh

[01:03:34] It was my being stopped literally own numerous tracks

[01:03:37] I own I own a lot of the data. We have the pie. Yes. We did a bit. We did we do it

[01:03:42] Didn't we do a fit track suit?

[01:03:43] I was stealing money from the truck to buy tracks

[01:03:46] Didn't we do a fake go fund me wasn't that one of the yes we did and it wasn't fake it was real

[01:03:51] Every intention of buying

[01:03:53] All right guys. We'll just find find me and nicks go fund me

[01:03:58] Yeah, I did enjoy your friend thing that you guys with with your tracks look we're not friends

[01:04:03] We're both in the union we have to support

[01:04:06] If you're the boss and you give us zero benefits

[01:04:10] Oh shit you trying to strike for fucking dental dude. I'm not trying to strike. I appreciate everything

[01:04:16] That does

[01:04:18] Press

[01:04:19] What a bitch dude. No, you're the union scat. No, no, that's true

[01:04:23] I'm gonna replace you with cheap Chinese labor

[01:04:26] Asian guy

[01:04:33] Can we try that one?

[01:04:42] And then he just does whatever you do

[01:04:44] I never talk about Glenn green walled on this. I don't know some I respect him too much

[01:04:49] Is he is he the guy who beat you've started suck off a kid or is that

[01:04:55] Yeah, that's how and Dershowitz dude. I don't know. Oh, this well. That's what he's doing in Brazil

[01:05:02] No, he's just legally married to us. No, dude. He went to Brazil because he's a hero

[01:05:09] You go to the kids hit puberty. It's three down there

[01:05:12] So it was so fucking funny that in British society like

[01:05:19] Like a while a while back boys were allowed to wear pants until 15. Yeah

[01:05:26] Like America too. Yeah, yeah, that's like boys always were my favorite is like old-timey pictures

[01:05:32] They made they put like little boys and like dresses and sailor outfits. Oh, it's so good

[01:05:36] Oh, I got one of them sailor outfit. Yeah, I'm gonna share that. I'm gonna find that next time I go to Baltimore

[01:05:41] I'll acute as hell dude. All right. Well, so what do we do? Are we wrapping this up here?

[01:05:46] How much time I do have a spot? We're 105. Oh, nice. All right, so

[01:05:52] Do we have a show coming up Adam?

[01:05:56] Monday

[01:05:58] The 26th we have a show would come on everybody

[01:06:03] Funny moms the whole squad will be there

[01:06:05] We don't know the lineup yet, but it's gonna be good as hell and follow me on instagram

[01:06:10] Stavi baby to sta vvy baby to you know time to fucking bring body positivity back

[01:06:18] So thank you for listening to come town

[01:06:21] Yeah, we don't have to stall for more time. We're done. All right. Goodbye everyone