Cum Town | Regular | 07/27/2017
[00:00:00] Shit talking session. I have a little I have a little list here in the world
[00:00:05] There's people I wanted to fucking take down and I got that out of my system
[00:00:08] No way don't have to air it on the podcast and
[00:00:11] They're gonna get mad at us. That's the content people want man. Maybe that's a tease Adam
[00:00:17] Yeah, a little broadcast maybe you don't know how to play the audience
[00:00:32] When was the last time anyone has done a marionette show like do people still go and watch people do puppetry
[00:00:38] Yeah, I mean there's people to go to fucking like elementary schools. I get shit all the time
[00:00:42] I guess that's true, but that didn't they used to be like grown. I guess that's before yeah
[00:00:47] Like in the old West people would go like watch a marionette Japan they do that actually you know what
[00:00:53] Hey, when I was a little kid sorry, I'm thinking of where the the strings are they tie the woman's hands banner back
[00:01:04] Mary Nett show about like where a guy just beats his wife punch and Judy is a Judy punch yeah
[00:01:10] There's just a guy like yeah, that's a bit beating his wife like asked for helper
[00:01:16] This is hilarious. This is gold. Well, there's there's actually I I would when I was a little kid and I went to Greece once
[00:01:24] They had a shadow puppetry thing this thing called a gozy and it was just like some fucking I think it was very racist
[00:01:31] And that's just television increase. Yeah, they do mad men like that
[00:01:35] it's like it's like 2d things that they fucking and that just every character is racist and
[00:01:41] You know they make fun of Jews though. Yeah, there's a Jew character damn
[00:01:47] You know, I was standing in children's show where they had Mickey Mouse. Yeah, they have like they don't like respect
[00:01:52] copyrights in Palestine. Yeah, no, they like which is the only problem I have with Palestine
[00:01:58] Intellectual property look if you if you live in Gaza and you're stealing our podcast. Yeah, I hope you get fucking bulldoze
[00:02:05] There's like a suicide bomber elma you end up in some fucking cat filer treads
[00:02:09] In fact, I'm gonna make a toast for my soda stream
[00:02:15] Let's broadcast stealing death. Let's break out the Sabra boys. Yeah, I just Ruth all that I'm bondage divest fully
[00:02:23] Well, you know you bond I keep saying bondage divest. I'm
[00:02:28] Boycott divest. Oh, yeah, not a bit that you know, I didn't accidentally the other day and my friend was like
[00:02:35] Oh, he's just doing a bit and I was like yeah, I was
[00:02:38] BDSM is that your bit be so you did it by saying did it by accident yesterday and now you're repeating it is a bit
[00:02:48] Now you know, I'm eating and with plausible now you have plausible deniability. You think you have plausible
[00:02:53] I just keep saying it for a bit. That's bombing bondage sounds pretty bad. You know, it'll be pretty good if I had said BDS
[00:03:00] Am if I had done a BDS BDSM joke. Yeah, it would have gone over. Well. Yeah, it's got that timing
[00:03:15] Today I didn't mention it before because I wanted to do it on the pot
[00:03:19] But I saw one of those guys on one of those one wheel hoverboards
[00:03:22] Yeah, I risk of hoverboard and he just I was walking my dog
[00:03:26] He just gyr he just hoverboarded past me and I cut he was on the phone on like a Bluetooth headset and the one thing
[00:03:32] I caught him say was like no, but seriously I would like to secure permanent employment
[00:03:42] Oh, you can only buy those with EBT cards
[00:03:47] No, I had a welfare queens with their fucking unicycle
[00:03:50] It was like you're getting the little clown cars
[00:03:55] They're all getting in them all at once to drive to the fucking
[00:03:59] First or to buy crystals. It was funny when those came out though like the hoverboards or whatever
[00:04:04] You're like hmm who are these for and then after a week you're like, oh, that's who
[00:04:10] And then they immediately banned them on the train
[00:04:12] You have white businessmen we're riding those and then the MTA would be like please here's parking for your
[00:04:24] They take out the fuckate they take out the handicap seats to put the big racks to
[00:04:29] Have them on I've been listening to the Brian Lehrer show on on NPR. Do you guys ever listen to that bitch?
[00:04:35] I really listen all of them years ago, so but no no no
[00:04:38] but I actually only listen on Fridays because de Blasio comes on every Friday and
[00:04:44] They let anyone call in and ask them questions. I call him de blah blah blah. Oh
[00:04:51] Him on Fridays. It's so funny people like may it de Blasio
[00:04:55] Maybe you should stop having a black wife and make the trades work. They're like alright. We're gonna say another call
[00:05:02] Yes, you make a good point. It's so good. Yes. Why do the train sucks so much dick here?
[00:05:07] Is it Cuomo's fault? I don't get it people guys. We need to drop some real train knowledge. Oh, yeah
[00:05:13] But go ahead is with it. All right, I'm gonna put I'm gonna go yeah
[00:05:17] We could all leave for the next 40 minutes and yeah
[00:05:19] It would be this podcast would be do fine
[00:05:21] Well the thing is is that the trains in New York City are electrically switched
[00:05:27] instead of electronically switched which means that
[00:05:31] They don't know where the fucking trains are which train is which once they leave
[00:05:35] It's some like half the lines because some of them they've upgraded right right right but like the way the tracks roll laid out is
[00:05:43] Is they had to do it like you know a hundred years ago?
[00:05:48] The current goes through the train and then they can tell if a certain section of track is occupied
[00:05:53] But they can't tell which train it is or how fast it's going gotcha, so
[00:05:57] They always have to have like a thousand feet difference or distance between each train
[00:06:02] Mm-hmm, that's just how the system is set up so you don't have the possibility of making trains run faster
[00:06:09] Then I think it max like every five minutes or whatever
[00:06:13] Well if once they're going in a certain speed how much would it cost to get them
[00:06:17] More more than just completely rebuilding really tired yeah
[00:06:21] Damn to also aren't the letter trains and number trains a different width
[00:06:25] No the letter trains are wider than the number trains so you can't yeah, but the track width the track width is
[00:06:33] Different rolling stock for the different lines because these to be too private company. Yeah, that's why it's like it's like
[00:06:40] Renovating a house like if you had a bare piece of land
[00:06:43] It would be easier to just build a new house there than to take some fucked up old house in
[00:06:48] Restorative and that's and then with her cane sandy and shit
[00:06:52] I mean that caused so much fucking damage. Yeah, but then it's also like the MTA is just a
[00:06:58] Fucking mass with like tons of bureaucratic problems, right? Yeah. I want those clean Japanese Korean trains dude
[00:07:05] Yeah, they just show you in there place and like everything's nice and fucking you know orderly
[00:07:12] But other than that a grope's you know other than that I feel like everything's robotic
[00:07:16] They might even have a lot that's what I want a step up from the hoverboard is part of my Amazon Prime membership
[00:07:22] I can hit a button on my phone and then a drone comes and grabs on to my skull with like a plunger type
[00:07:32] Into the air and flies me to Manhattan. Oh, that's good
[00:07:36] Damn, dude. I want a little jet pack. How far away are we from jetpack technology?
[00:07:40] I think it's a really bad jet pass like for personal use
[00:07:43] They already have jetpacks personally is that I'm clear. What do you think? There's only a jet back
[00:07:49] Yeah, actually, yes, that is what I think you're not allowed to fly drones in New York City though
[00:07:54] It's like what do you mean? I did happens all the time. I know it happens all the time
[00:07:58] But yeah in the park I had a friend that got
[00:08:01] Almost arrested because he was in Prospect Park flying his drone
[00:08:04] Really? Yeah, well, I want a fucking personal jet pack and I want a fucking jet pack everywhere I go
[00:08:10] Yeah, it would be funny to see you up there
[00:08:14] Because I'm such a lie there stuff dude. Yeah, I actually with your girlfriend on the back the jet pack
[00:08:20] I would love that but I have a girlfriend in case to one of those hamster balls
[00:08:28] I would I would actually legit love that if you can make the ball go a little faster if it could be like an electric bike
[00:08:34] You know where it's like you pedal, but it was motorcycle cages. Yeah, yeah, dude
[00:08:39] And I'm running but I'm going fast as shit
[00:08:41] I'm running my my normal pace which is like, you know five miles an hour
[00:08:45] But it then it goes it it bumps me up to 20 the motorcycle cage has to be the dumbest of the circus attractions
[00:08:52] Yeah, cuz it's like it's barely the sir. There's no athleticism there. It's like that's just extremely dangerous
[00:09:00] Exactly. Yeah, what that really that feels way more like fucking
[00:09:04] Monster truck rally shit than the monster trucks are fucking cool. Yes
[00:09:08] Because they have to spend a shit ton of money on those trucks. Yeah, and then they just break them
[00:09:14] Like every every monster truck rally there's a truck that like well, yeah, that one's fuck the axles snapped off
[00:09:25] But who cares baby as long as fucking as long as there's hillbillies trying to fucking win back their sons love
[00:09:32] The fucking monster truck rally will be in business. Dude. That's a huge business
[00:09:36] You know, it's the story of monster trucks is insane. It was like just one fucking retard
[00:09:42] That had like a pickup tray enough 150 and he's like, well, I'll put bigger tires on it
[00:09:49] And then be bigger tires on it and then I thought well, what if I put even bigger tires on it
[00:09:56] And then the tires got beaten up people want comes to eat truck
[00:09:59] And so then I thought well hold on now. I got this truck big tires
[00:10:08] Until more and more people come and that was his business plan
[00:10:13] Bigger really yeah, you know like people just jumped people are yeah people coming
[00:10:18] They'd be like can you destroy my car with your beautiful truck?
[00:10:22] It would be an honor sir for you this to fucking destroy my gay ass
[00:10:27] Yeah, we could my daughter just turned 27 and she still is unmarried and a rumor has it around town
[00:10:33] She fucked one of the black guys works at gas station. So we're gonna put her in my old caprice
[00:10:38] Unlock doors. I want you to take big foot and crush her death in it
[00:10:53] It was actually no how it started was there is a little known law in Louisiana that it's actually okay to molest children
[00:11:08] Above that it's illegal is international air school one and a half story long
[00:11:15] colonial times right when when the richest in the mayor was a pedophile
[00:11:20] Yeah, yeah, and he had a hot air balloon
[00:11:26] Yeah, the French were in charge of Louisiana
[00:11:41] Rise elephant around raping children he would find crying babies and cover his fingers and sugar
[00:11:47] So yeah silence them putting his mouth a guy discovered that law when he was reading the laws of Louisiana on
[00:11:54] Audible a barrister. Yeah, right and and and then so he made that truck and he was like this is my monster truck
[00:12:04] Very nice. That's the only other definition of monster. It's either Halloween or pedophile or both in some in some situations or
[00:12:12] That movie where Charlie's Theron's ugly
[00:12:17] Monster's ball. Yeah, personally. I think it's just really ugly and mad MaxFury wrote
[00:12:22] I was so mad as look I'm a feminist like everybody else, but how do you how dare she cut her hair?
[00:12:29] Absolutely. No woman is ever allowed to have short hair so true
[00:12:34] Gavin McGinnis actually wrote that article
[00:12:37] Like women with short hair is rape you're raping me because it looks like a boy
[00:12:43] And I'm attracted to it is that his argument. Yeah, something like that. Yeah, I just want to have do style sex with them
[00:12:49] Yeah, yeah, yeah in their ass and yeah cover their pussy in their ass. Yeah cover their pussy up with
[00:12:59] I like I like some nice short hair every once in a while mind it I think all women are beautiful. Yeah, I'm gonna have sex with them
[00:13:06] Yeah, actually I have yeah, I want some short hair. I want to get some short hair trim boys
[00:13:18] You have to send naked pictures to stavros through any of the social media outlets remember it's progressive because you're disgusting
[00:13:26] Yeah, so he's doing you a favor. Yes, stop comedy. He's actually being Twitter
[00:13:31] Stop underscore comedy on snapchat feminism by javby baby to
[00:13:36] Naturally, we'll be taking off to amperos. I'm a feminist big news today
[00:13:41] Stop can no longer serve in the United States military as
[00:13:45] American if you beat off to too much too many transgender Americans. Yeah, I
[00:13:51] Saw the at first that's uh, that's hilarious like who gives a fuck how did that start? Why is that an issue?
[00:14:00] Tweeted about it. Why did he tweet it because he's trying because health care isn't oh this is master
[00:14:08] God, that's so yeah, he just took like a fucking you know changing the narrative Wow
[00:14:13] He's taught he must be talking to the fucking Cajun motherfucker. No, he just saw a mash for the first time
[00:14:20] But you know what it's weird. I watched I watched used to watch mash all the time the TV sure
[00:14:28] Hawkeye was the guy dressed no Hawkeye is Alan Alda. Oh, that's the main character of clinger, right is the true the Fox trot
[00:14:39] Is there there's one name Fox something isn't there? I don't know I never really watched a show, but I've seen the movie
[00:14:46] And I did I did beat off to the lady in it. Yeah one lady. Yeah. Oh, yeah
[00:14:59] No, but you know I never noticed watching that show is radar's got like a fucked up radar
[00:15:05] Radar's got like a deformed baby are any is a surgeon? No, he's the radio opera
[00:15:10] Oh the radio guy wait radars the guy who dressed his bed like a wall
[00:15:13] The clinger is the fucking one that wears women's clothes. Okay, but he's not trans the character did that to get fucking like to get off the
[00:15:30] I saw a picture of like what like a trans soldier like a F2M and he was just jacked this shit
[00:15:37] Fucking big-ass gun and shit. It's like how much tougher is that person than all of us?
[00:15:41] Did you see the seal to say that because then you're saying that when they aren't tough enough to be in
[00:15:46] No, but I'm saying is it's harder to like fucking go from to look jacked as hell if you start as a woman
[00:15:52] Right then it's a testosterone. I don't I don't give shit. There's no there's no reason
[00:15:57] There's no like argument for it's no argument for like you know transgender people or even gay people should be allowed to be in the
[00:16:03] Military because the military by it's the most disheartening does bad shit
[00:16:08] The only thing is like it is a source of income for people that wouldn't fucking right fine work
[00:16:14] Anyways, but like you should be focused on fixing the economy and absolutely
[00:16:18] I mean the jobs for those people that is the funny is protection and you know whatever work
[00:16:22] But McDonald's they should be able to make enough money, you know to pay their fucking rent or whatever
[00:16:27] Yeah, I mean I know that is that is the irony here is it like it's just it's like fucking oh the military's
[00:16:32] It's like when everyone's sucking off the FBI and the CIA. It's like what these guys are good now
[00:16:38] It's like we care about the fucking military
[00:16:41] Well, yeah, and it's the same thing when they were like women can serve in combat roles
[00:16:46] It's like is this really like the feminism that we wanted first. It's like you could have your
[00:16:54] I didn't want to I was saying from the get-go. This is a bad idea. It's gonna lead to trans people taking Chris Kyle's job
[00:16:59] I said mark my words and nobody marked them
[00:17:10] Chris Kyle maybe he was trans the that seal team six woman
[00:17:21] She was like heavily decorated seal team six and she's like trans now. She came out as trans afterwards
[00:17:26] Yeah, but she she looked like a hard motherfucker when she was in the the seal team
[00:17:33] I got in trouble on choppa. Well, I did it because we were talking about Ben Shapiro and
[00:17:40] Not in trouble someone twos one person tweed is that fucking little ass nerd?
[00:17:44] Yeah, he's that nerd but I talked about that video where he's on the day is with the helicopter pilot and
[00:17:49] And it's just there was this helicopter. Yeah, I'm a helicopter pilot that became like a LA news helicopter pilot. Yeah, I covered the
[00:17:57] OJ. Oh shit. She also covered like Rodney Rodney King riots and like she was like, yeah, yeah, and
[00:18:05] One like there was a helicopter accident and the blades cut her dick off and
[00:18:12] No, that's not true. Well, that's what I thought
[00:18:17] Happen anyway, so she came out as trans so I brought up she was on a little you tell me that song would happen
[00:18:27] She was on like a dais with Ben Shapiro and Ben Shapiro, I mean you put one in
[00:18:32] Fucking you I don't know anything about this story. Yes. This was a little bit of deductive reason
[00:18:38] It's a helicopter pilot whose day comes off. I
[00:18:41] Mean what else happened the helicopter landed on it Adam? No, there's two sets
[00:18:49] Ever since she was sunbathing nude upside with dick
[00:18:55] Flipped it upside down and you felt like there was something different about her anyway
[00:19:00] Yes, anyway, so she's on days with Ben Shapiro and
[00:19:03] Ben Shapiro roast days. Yeah, he's like you can say you're a woman as much as you want
[00:19:08] But that doesn't make you a woman. Yeah, you're entitled to your opinion
[00:19:11] But I don't have to call you a woman. Yeah, and then he or she puts her like massive
[00:19:18] Arms from you know manually spinning the helicopter plays to start it, you know, or whatever you have to do
[00:19:28] Listen sweetie listen sweetie. If you fucking call you man
[00:19:35] No, she said listen sweet Adam you did that
[00:19:44] You know what when I quoted her dicks and blenders
[00:19:50] Come on man, you represent us whenever you get out there when I was on top though. I did
[00:19:57] Someone said that I changed the pitch of my voice which I I think I listened back
[00:20:02] I don't think I did that which is accurate because your regular speaking voice already sounds like yes, I'm woman
[00:20:10] You had to go to true you have to go down to register to reach helicopter pile of it's so true so
[00:20:17] Yeah, so someone yeah, so someone was about to be one person said it was bad. I got you know some people were like that's
[00:20:25] Horrible or something you represent the show when you're out there. Let me tell you right now
[00:20:29] Any more transphobic you ever said that I'm trying not to is a retard
[00:20:34] That's our are they professional rebuttal. What do you think their sexual orientation is?
[00:20:43] It was a trans woman I believe he said that
[00:20:50] I'm not apologizing for that. Whoa the bad boy bad boy the motherfucking ballad
[00:20:58] Second on my dick anything my ass bad boys bad boys
[00:21:03] What you gonna do when I suck your day either one works
[00:21:07] Yeah, I don't have you guys see I feel like I was on a streak of seeing a bunch of movies
[00:21:12] But I think that ended I don't think I see the movie in a while. I just watched
[00:21:17] John with two I guess good one fucking rules. Yeah, I love the I love that the villains like hang out
[00:21:24] Yeah, we have like a book visit the museum and then in one of the rooms
[00:21:30] For villains that one scene where we're him in common or like heaven. Oh yeah
[00:21:35] And then they go into that I don't know where it is the secret train station and they're just sort of
[00:21:45] Like secretly and no one's noticing that you're shooting guns dude. That's it. That was like oh
[00:21:50] Oh so inventive. Oh, that's such an awesome scene. It ruled that movie fucking rocks
[00:21:56] John Wick is the best is my favorite action franchise. I know that's you know people will argue or whatever
[00:22:01] But like maybe it's a good one. It's I think it's the best one dude. I haven't seen them in a while
[00:22:06] But I really like the crank movies see I haven't seen him. Yeah. Yeah, they're really sick dude crank is good
[00:22:12] I mean state them is like a really good martial artist but those the guys that know is Keanu
[00:22:16] I mean, that's why like all that like choreography is great is because Keanu is like
[00:22:21] Dedicated to learning how to he knows how to shoot guns for real. Have you seen those videos of him shooting guns?
[00:22:25] Yeah, yeah, like do an obstacle course gun obstacle courses. Yeah. Yeah, he learned all that shit
[00:22:30] Although it's funny like you watch John Wick one and then John Wick two and he does like the same move often
[00:22:37] We're yeah, yeah, somebody in like a leg lock and then pop them in the top of the head
[00:22:40] He does it always and I'm always happy when he does. Yeah. Yeah, I don't give a fuck dude that shit rocks
[00:22:47] He would probably do that if he's going through killing that many people yeah once you know
[00:22:51] Well, I heard the rumor that there's the room that the third one is gonna basically be like the fucking
[00:22:58] The tower was that what it was called no there or the rate rate rate. Yeah, yeah
[00:23:05] Thailand yeah, we just goes up and he just has to kill a fuck movie is sick
[00:23:09] That movie's explained about about it because it's like a white guy so it's it's gonna be they're changing it
[00:23:21] Yeah, that was Leslie Jones is the new John Wick and she screams at people
[00:23:26] I just understood people being mad about Ghostbusters like that
[00:23:32] They made Keanu Melissa McCarthy. I would be
[00:23:36] I mean it's retarded. No, what does it matter? Wait, who cares if you completely change the cast of something?
[00:23:41] I mean if they made yeah Jane Wick and it was tight. I
[00:23:45] Guess I'd be down. I do want to see atomic blonde that shit looks tight
[00:23:50] Do you have you seen it? I've seen the trailers in the subway cool the trailer looks cool
[00:23:55] It basically does look like actually I think atomic blonde is essentially Jane Wick like it's essentially like neither
[00:24:01] You see ghosts in the shell. Yeah with the Scarlett Amazon review that said it's not bad
[00:24:07] Somebody said it reminded them of Blade Runner, which I you know we should rewatch which is like an amazing
[00:24:13] They're stupid whoever said that is stupid. I was talking about it the other day. It's incredible and I haven't seen in I
[00:24:20] Haven't landed for time too. I haven't seen it in a minute
[00:24:23] But we should watch the Michael Mann Miami vice with Jamie Foxx and call you know that movie is fucking
[00:24:29] Really I watch it. It was like another movie that was like pans like people who are like this fucking sucks
[00:24:34] But it's just a dark and it doesn't it doesn't feel like Miami vice. No, it's Michael Mann's take on Miami vice
[00:24:42] It's a Michael Mann. It's more of a Michael Mann movie man. Do you like him because his name's man?
[00:24:47] That's why you it's to imagine if his name was man's ass
[00:24:50] And Adam looks at the box and he goes in blockbuster and he takes the Michael Mann movie into the corner and just looks at the word man
[00:25:01] Just shining off the word man. Yeah, so you've never seen that game that the word man gets you hard the word man smells differently in a person's name
[00:25:20] There's her what are you doing with that copy of thief? It's a smart joke
[00:25:30] You guys really what you dumbass bitch ass Adam
[00:25:36] Boy pink hat on your knee ass mother fucker
[00:25:41] What your little posture as like a woman fucking leg over your fucking dick. Yeah, I'm just I'm just this how I sit man shut up
[00:25:50] Fuck dude. I'm hungry shit. Yeah, I gotta do another smoothie before we go out. No, let's go get dinner
[00:25:55] I'm gonna get dinner gonna do both Wow. I'm going to be gaining 200 pounds this year
[00:26:01] Not heating 200 pounds gaining 200 pounds. Mmm. That's cool. Yeah, you're gonna do it
[00:26:07] I'm gonna be I promise the audience vegetable. I will be as jacked as the rock
[00:26:19] 42 pure muscle of just how tall is he he's like six four probably yes. I'm like that
[00:26:26] Duane mother fucking our next president dude
[00:26:33] When I mean it would be fucking hilarious if he looks at a man no dude. Yeah, he is I think no
[00:26:41] He's not I think he is it'd be great if he ran all these all these fucking idiots do trolling warm
[00:26:45] And they didn't realize he was a Republican. They're just like yeah, the rock great like if George to Kai ran
[00:26:58] He's got just putting everyone in camps
[00:27:04] Concentration gas some some smells like calm in here. Oh, sorry. It's possible that oh hard penis and the in the pee in the
[00:27:11] It's not possible. I come sometimes possible because you guys got molested by Italians. Yeah, I said Italian man
[00:27:26] When the moon hips your lips like a big pizza
[00:27:35] Remember la Bella Stugas. I do remember La Bella Stugas. I want a fucking song. Hey, that's not the lyric
[00:27:45] Fucked up my back at the squat rack yesterday. Yes. Yeah, what are you doing?
[00:27:54] You hurt your back deadlifting wiping it down for a guy who bullied him
[00:27:57] Did you hurt your back while actually deadlifting or you finish the set and then later you're back hurt?
[00:28:02] I woke up this morning in my back hurt really bad. Yeah, then you didn't hurt your back dead. Let's just muscle
[00:28:08] Tension tightness. Yeah, you just need to go get a massage. If you get a massage fucking go to yoga or something
[00:28:13] Phone roll is shit out of it next time you go to the gym
[00:28:15] I'm gonna get a foam roller off of Amazon. You're gonna get that that kind of massage you'd like to get
[00:28:20] The kind of said some people back couple you know, what are you talking about? Keep some enslaved
[00:28:27] Is that the kind of massage you're gonna get no
[00:28:30] I'm gonna get a massage from my god boys. We should go to little Italy after this little Italy sucks
[00:28:35] Do we got to go to the real little Italy which is in Arthur Avenue? I would go Bronx
[00:28:40] Let's go to let's go to the Bronx right now Arthur Avenue where they make all the bathrooms. Yeah
[00:28:47] Very nice. I'll take let's take a fucking
[00:28:51] You don't be a funny video in the bro you be funny me that no one would get is is you is you do you write?
[00:29:00] W win no hold on TFW you get lost between the moon and New York City
[00:29:07] That's good. That's pretty good. I think a few people would get that. Yeah, you know if you're a real criss cross fan
[00:29:14] You get it. I was I was saying today that I'm a trance gender
[00:29:19] It's a transgender which is France. Yeah, this is where I suck off other guys at EDM shows but outside of that I'm normal
[00:29:26] That's good. I know I know a couple of fellows like that. Oh, yeah music music guys
[00:29:32] The guys that are music festival gay. Oh, yeah, well listen man
[00:29:38] Yeah, they've raved so I've met a couple of people like that that let you know
[00:29:43] Oh, yeah, let's some guy in a headdress jack me off. It's a healthy way to get the sickness out of your body, dude
[00:29:48] That's like it's like leaching you know le gay at rave. That's what that song down with the sickness
[00:29:53] It's a very homophobic and progressive song
[00:29:58] I feel like we've made a similar joke to the sickness being gayness
[00:30:04] Happily, I mean it just feels like so much imagine trying to do that kind of comedy on stage now. Oh man
[00:30:11] I'm going up. Hey, you guys do that song. You know what I think it means
[00:30:15] Boo I would love to see that my sister was my last dad
[00:30:24] Sucking a dick inside of New York. Oh, damn. I fucked up my back somehow. Damn you did too. Yeah, did you steal that from Adam?
[00:30:32] No, I just I just slept on my arm or on that's a stolen bit
[00:30:36] Um, yo, thanks a lot to everyone that came out on my funny mom's. I was a that was a really good show
[00:30:42] By the way, we're really happy with how these shows have been going and we are going to be moving to twice a month
[00:30:49] Oh, are we yeah in the fall you didn't tell us that bitch. Oh, I'm telling you not in the fall
[00:30:54] We are moving to twice a month. Oh, man. That knows is just said
[00:30:58] I will be dead by then. Yeah, and also dying grease. I'm sorry for false advertising
[00:31:05] Italian American Italian American friend micro scene it'll end of the show it'll owe American in the 80s
[00:31:11] They used to call themselves that the little Americans. Yeah, do you remember that? He went to the wrong venue?
[00:31:16] He was supposed to be on the show, but we're gonna get him on soon. We know you guys
[00:31:20] Fuck him. Fuck him. He's listening right now. Yeah, make me some meatballs. You fucking giddy
[00:31:25] Let's go over to this house making make his girlfriend. I thought that I did maybe we text or seen to get dinner with us
[00:31:30] Um, yeah, that'd be nice. I'm fucking hungry dude. Um, anyway, yeah, so
[00:31:36] Oh, fuck. Do you guys see that fucking fake ass little kid letter?
[00:31:39] Yeah, yeah to Trump. That's so funny. Oh, there was somebody pretended their child wrote a letter to Trump
[00:31:47] Remember didn't it might not have been fake
[00:31:49] I fucking that is the one thing that pisses me off more than anything is when it's like, you know a video that starts like who's
[00:31:55] Sadie and what would you say? Yeah, what was that thing? He said I did the
[00:32:00] The boys should be able to play with the girls toys, you know, and everyone's like he
[00:32:05] The budget child at it so it means right. Well, it's always remind the fact that 95 of the other children in the world are racist
[00:32:13] Yeah, pieces of shit the fake the fake like oh kids are the most discriminatory people
[00:32:19] That's all that's all they know is like how do I fucking exclude people? Yeah categorize them. Yeah, yeah, um, no
[00:32:26] But it's always like the the lib fake kid letters are always like way too eloquent for like a seven year old
[00:32:32] Yeah, and like the conservative ones are always like this kid is like like a fucking retard
[00:32:39] That was one of the first jokes I wrote when I was doing stand-up really a billboard that was on
[00:32:45] Interstate 95 near Delaware that's that had a black kid and a white kid
[00:32:51] They were like hugging each other and it's like children don't see color it was some psa
[00:32:59] My my setup was like which is an effective ad because sex sells
[00:33:08] Lava dachshah 16 16. Yeah, is that petafelive you're 16 fucking children
[00:33:15] Uh, yes, what do you mean of course? You know by the law?
[00:33:20] 18 it is funny to think we talked about it before but like you know being 16 and like fucking 15 year olds
[00:33:27] Yeah, you fuck a child and you remember that as an adult. Yeah, oh
[00:33:38] Whenever a girl says to me. She's like, yeah, I started really young. I was 13. I'm like, yeah, good. Yeah, it's disgusting
[00:33:44] Dude, I did I did the girl that was like she told me this fucking story one time about being in like
[00:33:50] English class and like sixth grade and just letting guys finger her in class. Whoa
[00:33:56] She's like, yeah, I was just letting I was thinking to my own classroom
[00:33:59] And now we had like open desks and I couldn't imagine just the
[00:34:07] Finger you in the classroom without the teacher being like, what's what's going on back there?
[00:34:12] Fingering why do you keep dropping your pencils in front of a Lexus desk? Yeah, yeah
[00:34:19] Middle school like there was this thing where girls um
[00:34:22] As like a thing would all show their thongs that like became a thing
[00:34:26] Yeah, like sitting class that Cisco song we could probably because the thongs on was big
[00:34:30] I remember that vault more zone, baby Cisco. Yeah, I think I saw them at the fudge shop in the inner
[00:34:36] Yes, you're true about that. Yeah, dude. When they were drew hill. Yeah. Yeah
[00:34:41] I never realized that that was a neighborhood in ball through at hill park. I thought it
[00:34:45] I thought Cisco's name was drew hill and that was like his backup. No, no, no, no, no, no
[00:34:50] That was very confusing to me. What's Cisco up to dude? That's silver hair
[00:34:54] Why the fuck is a silver hair come back dude? I was just I was on the way home frank
[00:35:00] Fell asleep last night watching this new guy variation. I don't know if it's new or not guys grocery games
[00:35:10] I love because first of all diders driving in dies. Zarya stupid fuck horrible
[00:35:13] The guys grocery games is like they were trying they're like well chopped more successful than us
[00:35:17] So we're gonna just do chopped but guys grocery is here for some. Yeah, he's not a judge
[00:35:25] He's like all right. We're back on triple d's triple g's and the challenge today
[00:35:30] And he thinks that's like the coolest name. Absolutely
[00:35:32] And it's just call it the name of the show. I'm sure that's been a fight
[00:35:35] He's had with the producer absolutely numerous times. They're like guy great
[00:35:40] But could you please say the actual name of the show and stop calling it triple d triple g
[00:35:44] And shorting you only have one thing to say
[00:35:50] And could you please do it and he's like yeah, no, I'm not doing that
[00:35:55] No, I'm gonna kid, but he there's no reason for him to be there
[00:35:58] He serves no purpose. He's like he's like the smash mouth of the culinary world. He's the same first of all you see
[00:36:04] And they're both they're both going to get out of him
[00:36:06] But I saw him and I said I guarantee this guy's got from northern california
[00:36:11] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's got that fucking northern california fatso vibe that like
[00:36:22] And he's one of them dude the best part about it
[00:36:25] Sorry, but that show there's literally shots where he's in the background off mic just mike mumbling and saying things
[00:36:36] While everybody does stuff because there's nowhere for him to fucking go
[00:36:39] Also grocery store. No one can cook all the food is bullshit on gas cars games. Yeah, it's not they don't even have
[00:36:45] All amateurs. They just have yeah, it's just like slopping toes and shit
[00:36:49] Yeah, but also I don't understand the premise. It's like shitty chops. Well, I know but it was chopped
[00:36:54] It's like these are the ingredients you have access to it's like these are the ingredients you have access to in this show
[00:37:00] They're literally in a fucking grocery store. No, no, there's there's they put limits. They're like you can't that's what I mean
[00:37:06] Yeah, is that why are there limits? What's the point of being in a grocery store?
[00:37:10] That's the fun. It's sweet. You gotta like find the shit
[00:37:13] Yeah, you got $19 and seven cents to make a fucking dinner for two. No, they have to have specific ingredients
[00:37:20] No, sometimes they do my friend. You haven't watched as much guys watch I have enough to complain about it
[00:37:26] Here's the best part though, dude. He pronounced his name Fieri. Yeah, and he was born out for there Guy Fairy
[00:37:31] He was born Guy Fairy and he pronounced it Fieri
[00:37:37] No, dude. He fucking here's how stupid he is
[00:37:39] He changed his name back to Fieri for his wedding
[00:37:42] So he could honor his great-grand-great Italian wap grandfather
[00:37:47] It's just sepi fieri in like a toast in like a drunken toast that is wedding
[00:37:52] But I just want to say that my uh my grandfather uh
[00:38:00] Oh, man. I do love guys girls through games though. You know what else I've been on recently?
[00:38:04] Master chef motherfucking jr. Do you see I don't like cooking shows, but I am a big issue tv head
[00:38:08] I love property brothers. No, I can't I don't like that shit dude. Dude. The property brothers are my fucker
[00:38:13] Those are different those are our different passions. We're working and eating. Yeah, you know
[00:38:18] I love me some damn fucking master. I was the thing I love about the property brothers
[00:38:22] There's there's so there's zero charisma to either one absolutely
[00:38:25] They're like a lot of flat. They're like they're like, you know
[00:38:29] When you work with somebody and they're doing an impression of what they think a cool person
[00:38:34] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like when they employ sarcasm in that way where they're like, yeah, that sounds like a great idea
[00:38:42] Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're like what well they know but they have they have that
[00:38:45] Fake like they're like a customer service agent like at all times like someone trying to upsell you
[00:38:51] No, they're always like a waitress asking if you want dessert. Well the contractor one definitely has like he was like a
[00:39:10] Jonathan can make the big lighter spin he could do a 360
[00:39:14] Oh the kid would take the fucking the thing off it and make the flame go big as shit
[00:39:18] Hell yeah, that was in kids in my high school were really into like match and lighter tricks really I don't know why
[00:39:25] Um yeah, we gave korean food the contractor is always always goes no matter what episode he's like
[00:39:32] I'm gonna go open floor plan on this. Yeah, you gotta go open floor plan
[00:39:37] Yeah, and then he has one scene where he like drags a saws all through some drywall and then his team comes in and does
[00:39:43] Speaking of real work. Speak of I'm moving
[00:39:46] Nick there's a wall. It's gotta go. I'm gonna Jonathan Scott the shot. I gotta say we should do that
[00:39:53] We're I gotta say there's a sledgehammer. There's like this. Uh, there's a wall like there's a kitchen
[00:39:58] You just I want to fucking knock that shit down open floor plan prop property brother style my big
[00:40:04] Shit's gonna look so good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So like I was talking to max about it
[00:40:08] And he's like I don't think there's a dude
[00:40:10] That's actually it's weird because I wrote a sketch for the show that we're producing called the property and then it's the n-words
[00:40:16] I don't want to say on the podcast because it won't make sense out of context
[00:40:20] If we do the actual sketch will be I'll be we'll be wearing prosthetics
[00:40:25] What's not blackface is prosthetics. I mean the nose will be bigger
[00:40:29] It'll be the lips will be bigger. It's not like just it's not a racist thing. I'm wearing
[00:40:33] I'm wearing a makeup flying paint. I'm not doing a minstrel show
[00:40:46] Shot in 4k hilarious traffic thunder really hit that sweet spot like that
[00:40:52] Uh even and it's it's written by the fucking mole Holland drive guy. How crazy is that? That is hilarious. Uh wait David Lynch
[00:40:58] No, no, uh the actor justice you guys are watching fucking no no it's so good
[00:41:05] Twin Peaks is good. It's no dude still smells like common here original
[00:41:10] I always thought was like corny now. It smells like a different come it smells like like that tree that smells like yeah
[00:41:15] The DC come trees do they have covered income?
[00:41:18] Has if you go into like low the LES got the come trees
[00:41:22] Yeah, if you lost until like Clinton Clinton street is what I call it come street
[00:41:26] Yeah during the springtime you go down there you get a nice nice big nose full of cum
[00:41:32] Yeah, well also when I go down to Christopher Street, I just can't stop Christopher
[00:41:37] Christopher did you come all over the street?
[00:41:45] When at stonewall, you know, it's just it's why you got a real. Yeah, just meeting some guys
[00:41:50] You know, it's like March. It's like most like cum. I was in the west village, but you guys were out of town and I took a picture
[00:41:57] I was like, yeah, I'm getting a chance to finally explore the city while you guys are you know out of town
[00:42:03] Living life. You do an acid by a pool. I was out of clown
[00:42:06] Hmm. I want to detroit to be with my clown. Oh, we also have a fucking wicked clown love in two to four days whenever
[00:42:13] Shipping arrives the three of us got a big surprise for the fans. Oh, yeah, you guys are gonna love it
[00:42:20] I'm just a little dude of putting Adam's ass. Oh, that's oh, you know what I want to do
[00:42:24] I want to get a I gonna get a mold of both of your asses and then a mold of my dick and then fuck the the
[00:42:31] Your ass is what you get out of my dick. It would be funny. It would just be funny. Wouldn't it be funny?
[00:42:36] It's funny because your dick is already covered in mold. Yeah
[00:42:39] And no it is true. It's clean it where it's clean and nice. You don't even have a dick
[00:42:44] You just spilled a bunch of shit on your lap. It's just a flag-type made out of old. No, it's a nice penis
[00:42:50] Thank you very much. It looks like the head of an onion. I like the top of it. That's not bad
[00:42:55] I'm just saying I'm just saying I'm very flavorful and a great ingredient
[00:43:00] I'm jealous dude. I'm that I'm cut and I'm exactly it looks like it because you're mutilated
[00:43:07] Unrelated with a dog's asshole stops stops dick looks like an asshole that like no kiss to cold pole in the middle of winter
[00:43:14] Yeah, and then he tried to pull it off and he couldn't and he got stressed out
[00:43:18] Yeah, it's like the fucking christmas if it was a god christmas. Yeah, a story story
[00:43:24] It looks like a calamari that's about to go out of the kitchen in the restaurant
[00:43:29] And then the the head waiter is like don't serve that
[00:43:31] And then they take it off and they quickly throw in the garbage before and then before it ruins the reputation
[00:43:37] Your loved ones suck on that little calamari. That's a marade. Yeah, what's you know?
[00:43:41] I'm owning it. I'm owning it. Please. I'm gonna start calling my dick my calamari, dude
[00:43:46] Come give my little calamari a suckle, dude
[00:43:49] You want to suck on my little calamari? I don't think anybody does
[00:43:53] That's what a very sexually desirable what an awful fate to be
[00:43:57] What to spend time with a loving nice man like myself?
[00:44:01] Yeah, have a good time. Let's go to a dinner
[00:44:04] They like to be abused. They like to not be looked at in the eye
[00:44:09] While you drink why you drink yourself to sleep
[00:44:13] The glory the mauling glory day right while reengo describing the best place
[00:44:17] I put on a copy of cars to drink myself to sleep at 5 30 p.m
[00:44:34] She's at the macaroni grill you convinced her to go to ironically waiting for you
[00:44:40] Yeah, when they when they when they fucking undershoot they think you're like your dad
[00:44:44] But or their dad, but then you're like way worse. Yeah, there's a much
[00:44:53] Well ladies if your dad's a little cuddly motherfucker
[00:44:58] And if your dad is a mom as a woman if you're if lesbian if you're raised by lesbians
[00:45:03] You're in luck because adam's here also. What do you mean? Oh? I am like a lesbian mother
[00:45:09] I'm like women like you because they remind you remind them of their mom
[00:45:12] Yeah, do you ever see that movie the kids there all right?
[00:45:16] When jerry everyone gets that gets that punani worked over by ruffalo. Yeah, yeah mark mark
[00:45:23] Mark pipes mark pipes up a lot of people are
[00:45:29] Mark pipes ruffalo pipes ruffalo big yeah a lot of people were upset about that they were like
[00:45:35] You know that she about a movie called uh Chodiac
[00:45:38] Where it's a guy going around town raping people with a fucking a three inch long nine inch wide deck
[00:45:52] Until the San Francisco times publishes a picture of my dick
[00:46:07] What did we have at the live when it was some another care a very good character
[00:46:11] Oh is that uh, I was really a hot 30 minutes
[00:46:13] You know what? I wish we were an add to it should we should put it up even as self-unreporting as bonus
[00:46:19] Well, she is yeah people would bitch about me the audio quality of the live shows and it's like
[00:46:24] I don't know how to make it any better. Right. It would make it would always make it. People are upset
[00:46:27] We don't post them anymore. Well, we should at least post our version
[00:46:30] I don't think people are a little like 23 minutes. Yeah, I
[00:46:33] Was good. Yeah, I feel bad because it would make the comic sound like they were bombing because I couldn't get the audience
[00:46:39] Right. Well, that's why I'm saying we should do our thing from now on
[00:46:41] Yeah, if you weren't at the show, you missed our hot Chester Bennington. Uh, oh, yeah, yeah, that was pretty good
[00:46:47] We did have some good riffs on Chester. RIP. Yeah, god needed an eye front man. RIP to a legend
[00:46:53] God was tired of listening to a couple of Chester bangers in there. Yeah
[00:47:27] Well, we got a new Chester Cheeto in town folks president Donald
[00:47:33] Yep, I went there. I'm covered in cheetos. Yeah
[00:47:39] You cheeto based the commander and cheeto
[00:47:46] We gotta we're gonna resist him by not particularly changing any aspect of our lives
[00:47:56] And never really had to worry about anything anyways
[00:47:59] And we'll never be willing to change casually cruise into tv writing jobs
[00:48:08] Because our parents paid our rights who worked for our casual tv job. Yeah, I had to be a paralegal
[00:48:20] Yeah, even that's I've been taking some swipes. I got a creative
[00:48:25] Constructive criticism on the show that stop doesn't ask the have you been fucking questioning. I'm sorry. I hate that question
[00:48:32] That's a great question. It's so obviously uh, we've run out of things
[00:48:36] No, it isn't it absolutely is not that question. I really want to know I have such a problem every time you say that shit
[00:48:42] I fuck no it's well anytime. He says that I get in trouble because I like share too much
[00:48:46] Here's the problem dude. That's because you don't dude. That's that's the difference between us
[00:48:50] I'm an empathetic man. Dude. I want to hear how my boys are fucking. I want to really want to know how they're
[00:48:55] Emotional comedy. I want a real I want to rape
[00:49:03] This is where you're so bad at the songs
[00:49:17] How long have we been doing? That's pretty good
[00:49:21] Whatever autistic come boy has been compiling all the fake songs. I want that on the
[00:49:27] I want that on the spreadsheet another 11 minutes another 11 minute. Oh consent to Tory. That's another good one
[00:49:42] The respectful Italian Japanese thing we were doing maybe I love that like people just think definitively
[00:49:48] They're like rape jokes are not funny. You can't do them and then you can just still be a guy that's like
[00:49:53] Oh, yeah, I'm just gonna continue doing them
[00:49:55] There's really nothing they can do about it. Absolutely nothing
[00:49:59] Continue to enjoy your life. You just don't have to argue with them about it
[00:50:02] You just move who would get mad about going
[00:50:11] Yeah, that have been programmed to think that in no circumstances it ever okay to mention it in a fucking humorous context
[00:50:19] Because that was decided, you know three years ago online and that's just how it is stuff. Yeah
[00:50:25] I suppose that's correct. Well, Adam you brought it up. Have you been fucking
[00:50:29] Have you been raping that's well the real question. Um, have I been raped?
[00:50:36] Is that your question? Last week? No, I've been raped
[00:50:46] Well, did I sing the song wrong again? Oh shit. Yeah, no, I
[00:50:53] I messed up. I didn't mean to sing it that way
[00:50:55] Yeah, I done had sex with the earring. I've been at the gym with the earring
[00:51:01] You know, I went to the gym the first time you can man respect that's where both of those things happen
[00:51:09] I caught you actually stepped into the left most shower
[00:51:12] Which is reserved for casual encounters caught over my old friend Gianni
[00:51:22] Tago the hips and this finger. Yo, how could I fucking quit you bro?
[00:51:34] Literally have a broken back from squatting. Yeah, it's true. It's a new yeah
[00:51:40] It was not squatting weights. I'll say that I've never seen it either
[00:51:43] But I feel like I've seen broke back around his boring as shit. Doesn't he spit on me?
[00:51:47] I got a put it in his ass. Uh, yeah when they're in the tent. Yeah, I saw that movie
[00:51:52] I saw that movie when I was 19 in Tel Aviv Israel nice
[00:51:57] Yeah, and uh, it was called hard hard hard broke back. We had the first time you hooked up with a guy
[00:52:03] No, but I watched you it's a phone. It is Israel a movie name is uh, pussin boots is just called shrek's cat
[00:52:16] Yeah, honestly, I gotta say like maybe this is an unworked take but it's pretty boring movie
[00:52:21] It's like too slow. Yeah, no, you're supposed to cry you're supposed to cry. Yeah any movie any movie that's got like uh, it's not bad
[00:52:28] But it's like it's just uh, it's a little too boring. You think I heard they actually had sex
[00:52:34] Penetrative. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, who's the top? That's how he fledged your diet, dude was heath bottoming. Heath was top
[00:52:41] Of course. Yeah, jjohull is prop jg body. No, I say I say it all the time. He's gay
[00:52:48] Don't say that about him. Dude. It wasn't he dating Taylor Swift
[00:52:51] We're even getting see I was on the train and I I spotted across the train
[00:52:54] It was packed and some guy had a little Best Buy bag and I saw the top of uh
[00:52:59] Nightcrawler coming out of the bag and I yelled across train. I said that guy's gay
[00:53:08] The move the movie you have that it's a gay guy
[00:53:11] And then you know I got off it. They made me get off at the next oh really
[00:53:19] Such a nuisance literally almost people shit and beat off on the train
[00:53:24] Imagine getting bounced off of work an mta train
[00:53:27] Oh, you know, have you guys you know what I read recently? I read that pussy posse article a couple couple
[00:53:32] We you've talked about it a bunch so there's this girl who they talk about that leo fucks
[00:53:38] And they're like yeah, she's like a prep school in New York City girl
[00:53:42] And when she was in high school, she kept like dating drug dealers from the Bronx and Harlem
[00:53:46] And like she was like the bad girl in her class. So I googled her to see if she's hot
[00:53:51] Is she hot? It's donald trump jr's wife. No, I swear to god. You're the fuck i swear to god
[00:53:59] Yeah, are you making that up? Yeah, the new york magazine for like 97 or 96
[00:54:04] She used to fuck like a Bronx drug. She got run
[00:54:09] We gotta be fuck we gotta be real careful here because you described that as your discovery
[00:54:22] Was the pussy posse woman no I read that in the organic piece of reporting by adam free
[00:54:28] No, first of all, this would be your first article. This would be your first big scoop
[00:54:34] responsibility for it. Have you tweeted it yet?
[00:54:36] No, well if he claims responsibility for it, you know for sure to his ass stole that shit
[00:54:48] The president is dead by the way dollar trump jr's wife god
[00:54:51] Dran Thug by a rock and goons in the Bronx got fucked by some Puerto Rican drug dealers in the 90s
[00:54:57] Um when she was 15 rules. Yeah, it rules. So you think he gets cucked now?
[00:55:04] He must get cucked they have a million kids. He must get cucked by black eyes
[00:55:08] I mean he looks really stupid. I'm don jr's the one with the black hair or the blonde hair black hair
[00:55:14] Yeah, but half those kids are actually Donald seniors kids
[00:55:20] That's probably true on his own shoulder
[00:55:22] Literally he would like in in two times his son in a world in a world where there's like no laws
[00:55:31] Absolutely, fucks his daughter. I mean that guy sucks
[00:55:33] So bad that prima noxis on all his son's wives that guy sucks so bad that Donald constantly shows Jared favoritism over him
[00:55:42] That's not bad that yeah, well how much of a bitch ass is both your sons are
[00:55:46] I mean but i'll share it to be for you to have to fight a new son and it's fucking Jared
[00:55:50] He's probably just jed. He's probably just jealous jerry gets the fuck evan good, dude
[00:55:57] Freshly after he fucks evan because the pussy juice is still on there. It's like hey commendatory
[00:56:03] Uh, I call him drump. Oh good. That's your resistance. That is resisting on your part computer turn the lights on turn your lights on dude
[00:56:10] How do we get them to go wearing a pussy hat this whole episode? We haven't mentioned it what a pussy hat? Yeah, I'm just oh the
[00:56:17] a little pink pussy hat the pink pussy hat
[00:56:21] but um, but um, but um, but um, but um, but um, that's the pink panther but um, but um
[00:56:39] Respect of us military ban on transgender troops remains to be seen. How is that a headlight? I don't know
[00:56:46] Oh, uh, something's gonna happen. I don't know. We're gonna riff on some headlines the topical portion. Yeah, sure opinion Dana Perino
[00:56:54] Advice for Sarah Huckabee Sanders from one female press secretary to another. Oh, oh
[00:57:00] Wait, she's my cuckabees daughter yet. Well, she's Bernie Sanders in my
[00:57:15] Joke that I was the first I was the first I was the first I was the first you know another one
[00:57:22] I made up the plane should be made out of the black box. No, that one's actually I you know
[00:57:27] Here's what I made up the plane should be made out of the karan
[00:57:37] People like this is better. Yeah, they're like Muhammad was a pedophile like you didn't read the karan
[00:57:47] We so I guess Muhammad fucked is that what happens?
[00:57:50] My home everyone was a pedophile up until like 1980. Yeah, but Jesus didn't fuck mom
[00:57:54] It's much weird though actually Tom Myers has a bit about it. He's like, you know
[00:58:11] They were like what's your most memorable
[00:58:15] Experiencing comedy when he did that strip club in vain
[00:58:19] There are pictures of Tom at that gig. Yeah, the strippers. They're online
[00:58:24] You can find them there at least there on Facebook that are unbelievably funny. He's in he's so like trapped in that delusional
[00:58:33] World that he thinks that would be like a serious inquiry from somebody. Yeah, yeah, no
[00:58:37] He thinks you're sicking people on him. You're sick
[00:58:41] He believed that was real. He believed that he was a fan. Oh, that's why yeah
[00:58:47] Girl first of all how long has Tom been doing comedy? Let's say ten years, right?
[00:58:51] So someone longer someone growing up as a child idolized Tom Myers
[00:59:01] Yeah, Tom Tom did DM me guys. Please stop harassing Tom Myers
[00:59:06] He said tell you he said he'll never appear on the podcast. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love you
[00:59:12] I know of him. I am fucking mom. You actively engage in making fun of them
[00:59:16] No, I shit that I fucking hate the people no no no like all this autistic guy that I gawk at people do that with B
[00:59:22] Yeah, yeah, I do it all this shit where you're making fun of and exploiting a retarded person
[00:59:31] Encouraged to say that I accept that just not pretending like you have some affection for I accept that
[00:59:37] But I also think that there is something I am happy there is something like there is some sort of
[00:59:43] comedic they're not comedic merit, but there is some sort of artistic merit to someone continuously running like it's like
[00:59:52] Sisyphus like rolling the boulder up the surface. Yeah, like literally every single one of his jokes is like he has a
[01:00:02] Holy shit Tom Myers. Yeah, yeah, you are the world's worst
[01:00:06] Yeah, he every single punchline is such a letdown poor Mickey's on some weird like
[01:00:12] Like internet radio shit or some shit. I don't know what's going on. He had some vape shops
[01:00:21] He has to be low 98 rock. I don't think so man
[01:00:24] Then then he didn't I can't imagine that you would be on like you would be the biggest
[01:00:30] Voice on a fucking like multi market wasn't on that long. It was only like four or five years
[01:00:36] No, it was probably making six figures. No, it's got to be long that because I used to listen to Mickey and Amelia
[01:00:43] They had the afternoon show. He was only on the morning show for like four or five years
[01:00:46] Yeah, but the afternoon show you still make fucking money
[01:00:48] I used to listen to Mickey and Amelia for like years I listened to that show and he did he's actually not a bad show
[01:00:59] No, but I remember I think I was talking to Joe Robinson about it one time because Joe was employed by them
[01:01:04] And he was like, yeah, he's got to make like it's a lot of my six figures. You think so?
[01:01:09] Yeah, I think if you're like morning zoom radio
[01:01:14] I got a bunch of major cities and it's like 98 rock is the biggest radio station there and it competes with DC 101
[01:01:20] Mm-hmm. So how much longer do you think there's gonna like a rock station is gonna do people listen to people are in the car
[01:01:26] But like old yeah, dude who I don't listen to rock stations. Do you know what I'm wrong stations like that kind of format
[01:01:33] You also don't really commute that's sure
[01:01:37] Listen to that I would listen to this shit all the time and it wasn't because like oh I got to hear Mickey and Amelia's
[01:01:42] Because I'd be driving home forever. Right, but now people are doing podcasts
[01:01:46] They are doing podcasts, but I I guarantee you if I had to drive every day. I wouldn't fucking download podcast
[01:01:52] You listen to your and commute. I would just listen to whatever's on the radio. I used to despise
[01:01:56] Elliot in the morning. I fucking hated that show. Yeah, and I think guys got a real annoying laugh
[01:02:02] I would listen. Yeah, he does. I would listen to it every day. Yeah, you know, I listen to the junkies
[01:02:08] You ever fuck with the sports junkies, dude? No, I would do you own
[01:02:11] I would only listen to fucking Elliot and and
[01:02:17] Yeah, the junkies were on HFS Tom join her morning show. Oh, that was a good one, dude
[01:02:23] Ricky smile you ever catch him or you gone by the time they started syndicating him
[01:02:27] The Ricky smiley morning show. I don't know. I don't know that won't dude
[01:02:31] You ever Adam what morning shows did you listen to as a child? I listen to a stern a lot when I was a kid
[01:02:39] I never did one Vegas they would they had
[01:02:46] They would do a radio version of card tricks which was somehow entertaining people would listen to it
[01:02:54] Now he's showing us the car amazing and it actually is the one it's the right one. Take our word
[01:02:59] I'm seeing I'm seeing Tommy at a wedding next weekend. I'm seeing the rabbi the good rabbi that no the street magician
[01:03:06] Yeah, good rabbi. I'm gonna L8 for a wedding
[01:03:10] God never tell you my theory the David Blaine is the fourth property brother
[01:03:15] David Blaine is in the pussy posse. Yeah, also mentioned another scoop of yours. I'm a skook
[01:03:23] David Blaine fucks a tremendous amount. Yeah a tremendous of course magicians do all magicians do David Copperfield fucked Claudia Shiffer
[01:03:32] Yeah, yeah, it's a magic thing that they they make panties
[01:03:37] There was a there was a kid in my school that was uh, he would always you would do card tricks
[01:03:42] You know, he'd always wear the tuxedo at every class and you do card tricks and they caught him with like a shit ton of roofies
[01:03:49] I mean, you know they fuck. I think there definitely is some sort of cross-section between magic and poo culture
[01:03:56] You know, they're but they're both trying to like run run one over on people. Mm-hmm. You know, oh, yeah
[01:04:02] Rub one out on people rub one rub one out. Do you ever just beat off on someone?
[01:04:07] Like after like to pull out and then come on someone. Yeah, that's like a normal sex
[01:04:13] It's not beating off on someone. I mean sometimes a little longer than immediately
[01:04:18] You know, oh, I like to leave it into the I'm like I straight up just jacked off on people me too. Oh
[01:04:26] I'll just say this on the bus. Yeah, yeah, I like to just hang glide and I beat off while I'm hang gliding and then wherever my
[01:05:06] Have been one time a guy got beating it off while hanger right? Yeah, yeah for sure
[01:05:12] No, I think his book world records for most times jacked off while hang gliding. Um, well some Korean guy killed himself
[01:05:19] Jacking off too much. Oh, yeah, just in general not a hang letter
[01:05:27] Fucking locked himself in his room and jacked off like 72 times in one day and then his mom like opened the door
[01:05:36] Like pink ass dick. It's like rug burnt cock
[01:05:40] That's just hilarious because I mean after a true soldier salute if you come if like I don't think I've ever come more than like
[01:05:47] Five or six times in a 24-hour window. Oh, yeah, I think in middle school
[01:05:51] I hit seven or eight and once you start crossing that line it hurts it well
[01:05:56] It's not that your dick hurts. I mean you can get through that. It's like
[01:06:00] Physically exhausted. Yes. You're like chest pains and shit and your dick like pumps out a couple dry ones
[01:06:06] Like you know the drawing's kind of hurt. Yeah, I saw some shit on reddit that was like
[01:06:11] I don't know what the sub subreddit was but it was like
[01:06:15] It was like ogre cabins or something or it was like fucking fail basements
[01:06:22] Fat guys that are like check out my setup
[01:06:26] Computer room and somebody had like a computer set up and then on the desk was like a toilet paper roll like that
[01:06:33] That's a holder. Oh my god. Oh my god. It's a toilet paper roll. Just a
[01:06:41] Hell yeah, I'm a jackpot. My man fucking took some power tools to that motherfucker
[01:06:50] But there was one it was like a schematic of like
[01:06:56] Gaming area and it was a room you could seal yourself in like you know
[01:07:00] Like fucking came out like three feet from the wall like a photo booth
[01:07:04] Oh, whether we're client or chair and then there was something that attached to the guy's dick in the drawing
[01:07:10] Oh, it just said urine collector slash a jacket
[01:07:16] You just piss is he like big fat guy. Oh my god. Yeah, that's it
[01:07:30] I planned he fucking fired up AutoCAD 3D
[01:07:35] And putting thing to beat off and hell yeah, but it's just like the idea that like cuz imagine it's right the off chance
[01:07:41] He he meets some like 80 pound blue hair woman right kind of woman that fucks a guy like right right?
[01:07:47] She comes over and sees the dick sucking. Yeah, he's like never mind. I'm going home
[01:07:55] Here and then he's just fucking blue is only shot to fucking get a nut off. No that woman
[01:08:00] Was somebody like myself would she yeah, dude, they're gonna fuck that dude
[01:08:05] Do I get those fucking yeah? Yeah, well, that's exactly like I expected
[01:08:10] Like it's one thing to every once in a while pissing a Gatorade bottle, but they're fucking
[01:08:19] Although I've never beat off into a Gatorade bottle
[01:08:24] No, I can't say I have I say that I have
[01:08:27] We're okay. How about this? Where's the strangest place you've beat off into I jacked off in the woods one time
[01:08:34] That's good into the woods. Well, I was into the play
[01:08:37] I was walking around in the woods and I was like I could just jack off out here
[01:08:44] Used to beat off. I mean this is a super strange. I did it while driving. Oh, well
[01:08:48] I was like speeding I've been off. Yeah, I was speeding and I was like I should jack off right now
[01:08:53] And I jacked off just nut it all over the steering wheel
[01:08:55] Were you were you turned on by the horsepower?
[01:08:58] No, it was just thank you for fun anything to do I went on a run from like I'd say about
[01:09:09] At first I thought it was funny and then I had a compulsive thing where I had to jack off on planes
[01:09:16] Really? Yeah, oh I get bored because I'd like fly like cross-country
[01:09:19] And then when you're like 16 your libido's like super high like five hours is like a long time to go and not think about
[01:09:29] So I jacked off I've jacked off on plenty of plans. I got walked in on one time and I fucking elbowed the door back
[01:09:35] Yeah, it was so scary. I don't think they could tell I was jacking off
[01:09:39] But I fucking elbowed the door back was this old lady like open right now cuz you had your legs pulled up over your head
[01:09:45] Yeah, old lady goes after you you're trying to beat off it
[01:09:48] I was doing a self-suck in an airplane bathroom
[01:09:52] The old lady goes in there after you and just starts
[01:09:59] I do this for old long clip the old ladies clits get longer. Yeah
[01:10:08] Have you ever seen that picture of that old woman's pussy, but if you turn it upside down, it's a beautiful young woman's pussy
[01:10:26] Painters shut up bitch. What you it's not yeah, no, he's not
[01:10:30] It's definitely not is it Picasso's not the best painter of all time
[01:10:44] No the guy did family circus yeah, that's another gay Jim does Indian guys in Times Square a little draw your daughter with a big nose
[01:10:52] What about those bullshit like spray paint this the moon, but they just
[01:11:01] It's so funny the shit that's like I guess I mean maybe because I do it when I'm out of town
[01:11:06] I'll go to like the you know fucking place. Yeah the touristy place cuz fuck it. Why not?
[01:11:11] But when you write your name on rice being tricked I
[01:11:16] You know those remember there was a thing where they like make your name
[01:11:19] It was like you'd get like a painting or like a frame thing your name out of like dolphins
[01:11:24] Mm-hmm. You probably did that because you like stuff like that. No, I wasn't into that
[01:11:41] He got you with dolphins then fed it to sharks
[01:11:44] He made you watch him destroy it. I just I'd fucking hurt my balls scratching them just now
[01:11:50] So I think we have to end the show that's fair. You've heard them. You heard the actual testicle or yeah
[01:11:56] I see two. Yeah, I scratched too hard my balls. I do that sometimes. I'm sick to my stomach
[01:12:00] Sometimes I'll stress I'll spread my balls out like real stretch them out and get a nice scratch
[01:12:05] Does everybody that yeah, you know what I'm talking about yeah, I like to put a bunch of uh
[01:12:10] There's rubber bands used to keep lobsters from pinching. Yeah
[01:12:16] I like to hang my just take clothes pins and put my balls on a line and just let them you know really stretch them out to a
[01:12:22] Translucent me to yeah ball stretching is like a fetish thing and then get us and get a back scratcher
[01:12:28] That would actually probably feel really good
[01:12:30] But if you were to stretch your nutsack out and then have one have someone go at it with a back scratcher that would feel good
[01:12:36] And that's the show everyone alright good night