Cum Town | Regular | 07/07/2016
[00:00:23] Hey everybody welcome to come town episode six just two of us today sorry seven episode
[00:00:37] seven episode seven which is just two of us we're a little our our leader Nicholas Mullen
[00:00:42] is not here he's actually at a rape joke convention yeah there's a keynote Daniel Tash
[00:00:48] Keena Tash will be in there Brock Turner I think is Skyping in Nick is going also to an
[00:00:54] inward convention headlined by Kramer next week so it's so Nick isn't here so but listen
[00:01:01] you're gonna want to stick with us hold up hold up what's up we done boys that's right
[00:01:05] we done boys did we say I'm Star Rose Hoggis Adam Friedland Porter we can rile snake
[00:01:10] Porter again and but seriously you are gonna want to stick stick around because we have an
[00:01:15] incredible this is our biggest get for sure we've had some great comics on but this guy
[00:01:21] seriously I'm pretty stoked about having this guy on the show he's normally when you guys
[00:01:26] get famous people I'm not on the show yeah and this is the most famous person we've ever
[00:01:30] exactly and that's without so I'm pretty stoked so guys without further ado doctor evil is
[00:01:36] here thank you stavros thank you Adam it's a pleasure to be here at come town we're so
[00:01:44] happy to have you so I mean I've been a fan for years really for years yeah you're too
[00:01:49] kind I didn't know you were a real person I thought you were just from movies yeah a lot
[00:01:53] of people make that mistake Adam they think I'm a silly character but no I'm real you're
[00:01:59] real person with a faint Canadian accent a very faint Canadian accent yes a faint doctor
[00:02:06] evil accent some people would say it's almost like I've forgotten my own personality since
[00:02:12] 2003 what do you been up to you've been trying to take over the world and so still trying
[00:02:18] to take over the world I've gone into startups mostly evil apps perhaps you've heard of grinder
[00:02:26] it's like a dinner except it's for spreading AIDS Wow we're making noise we done boys dude
[00:02:35] wow incredible wow we're so happy to have you here doctor I'm happy to be here huh do you
[00:02:42] know how we booked dr evil how we booked him Nick Nelson Nick knows him I think he actually
[00:02:47] saw Nick was using a love I'll tell you how it happened yeah please tell please I had I
[00:02:53] had an email from somebody that knows that I'm friends with him and they said this guy's
[00:03:00] harassing women online job and they oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah and they asked me if
[00:03:12] I could help getting him fired oh yeah we got those oh yeah yeah that woman Sadie
[00:03:18] Sadie Doyle well don't you know I'm actually enemies with Sadie dole oh why so you and Nick
[00:03:26] have a common enemy well I'm what you call a brosh list maybe you've heard of it well
[00:03:33] for the listeners at home who who's Sadie Doyle again she's a journal she's my arch nemesis
[00:03:39] she's a journal s a blog ass yeah she's a lady who uses computers to spew hatred oh who
[00:03:49] does she hate every white male comedian all of them she has a vendetta as they would say
[00:03:57] oh yeah that's true why do you beef with it what's what's your problem you said you're
[00:04:01] a brosh list that's correct basically we all live in you know skull mountain castles
[00:04:10] out in the water that's very strange because like I would have assumed if like you were
[00:04:14] supporting someone in the US election that you wouldn't be supporting you know Bernie
[00:04:18] Sanders you must be loading Donald Trump no I'm actually a Bernie bro okay might think
[00:04:25] that I'm not but I am I love Bernie I can't get enough of them Donald I just don't like
[00:04:32] his attitude you know it's too much up front evil yeah that's not enough subtlety yeah
[00:04:39] what I let me see Donald Trump and a sentence with you know a long laughing gimmick like
[00:04:44] right yeah sure they were which is your thing that's my thing I think if I think that was
[00:04:50] in the second movie the one with Beyonce yes in the gold in the gold out the third one
[00:04:59] but that's mainly that's why I hate the identity politics people is because Beyonce dared to
[00:05:05] oppose me I just now put it together yeah wow that's a good that's a good bit wow so okay
[00:05:21] so you're so you're bummed Bernie's probably gonna gonna pull out soon right dude well I'll
[00:05:25] tell you what Adam we're going to find a way to create a new robot Bernie with frickin
[00:05:32] laser beams in his eyes in your socialist utopia where we can harass women from the safety
[00:05:41] of international waters or space they have a base on the moon where Glenn Greenwald sends
[00:05:48] me updates on the coordinated harassment campaign to bully women off the internet that's actually
[00:05:55] what happened Glenn send me an email he said hey doctor evil how you been would you mind
[00:06:00] threatening to rape say I'm too busy raping women in Brazil wow really yeah he lives in
[00:06:10] Brazil with his with his husband right sure this is really great wow doctor evil thank
[00:06:20] you so much for coming on the pockets because I know Nick had a bunch of beef last week with
[00:06:24] Sadie Doyle she was going in on it right yeah I heard about did you see that he used your
[00:06:30] image a lot actually I actually endorsed that oh do you make I was on board I make every
[00:06:37] doctor evil me and myself that's really interesting wow that's pretty chill well I tell you what
[00:06:46] we're winning the fight against them but there's one of these people a newer line online
[00:06:53] account who I'm mostly worried about it's this guy woke bastard you know what I would love
[00:07:03] to hear about woke bastard but I really have to go to the bathroom oh stop here we're in
[00:07:08] the middle of an dude I know it's very I'm gonna stop you can't leave us I have to go
[00:07:12] I'm so sorry you guys I'm gonna go I should be back really soon alright dr I'm sorry you
[00:07:18] know dr I was wondering your voice sounds a lot like Caitlyn Jenner I was just thinking
[00:07:24] we had the same kind of surgery I take the hormones because I like the flavor oh no not
[00:07:32] this guy whoa oh no it's the woke bastard woke bastard did six and you're not boss though
[00:07:41] you're not woke bastard yes there's nothing sexy about you there's no place for that body
[00:07:47] negativity here dr here you're too fat to be lovable okay that's not true being hot is
[00:07:55] everybody time don't listen to what the pantry archi tells yeah wow I didn't well that's
[00:08:01] true that is yeah that's a good point I'm with hot I'm dead sexy what I don't understand
[00:08:07] is the difference between fat bastard and woke bastard I'm pretty sure they're the same
[00:08:12] person I think that is more like less accepting of his body exactly let me explain yeah you
[00:08:19] might not know because you're not even though they weren't you weren't in the scene there's
[00:08:23] a very emotional scene where fat bastard sad about being fat no more now I love my body
[00:08:31] I love my curves I know that just because society says I'm disgusting doesn't mean I'm
[00:08:36] not laughable yes it does actually taken clock what you should do is get a tiny clone of
[00:08:43] yourself that might weigh a fuckable weight oh are you talking about the baby I yes so
[00:08:50] everyone is gonna get a clone in your socialist you know my socialist you took yes everyone
[00:08:56] gets their own now they're gonna be baby sized I'll tell you something guys if I had a clone
[00:09:04] I just would not stop 69 clone you unsilvical is that why you get a tiny clone oh I'm rich
[00:09:13] it has to stop your death but you don't have to like this size of a baby oh like a shrunken
[00:09:19] clone I'm beating baby so is Austin power is still at large did you did you win or did
[00:09:25] he win I don't Austin powers has actually been replaced there's really I have a new oh
[00:09:33] oh by the name of autism powers yes wow sounds pretty cool Adam don't you have to go to the
[00:09:43] bathroom not really I don't have to go to the back I mean I can go to the back I have the
[00:09:48] phone actually I'm getting a oh wow Adam's really good at the impro I'm getting a call
[00:09:54] I gotta go and then I'll be right back in one second I just don't want to be the only
[00:09:58] host here well just go hold down the phone yeah baby oh no it's autism power do trains
[00:10:10] make you horny baby yeah he's a light lot like a lot of Austin powers except he's mentally
[00:10:18] retarded and I have absolutely no sexual desire for women baby that's that's essentially
[00:10:26] what the character is but you're lovable just just cuz you're a talented doesn't mean you
[00:10:31] can't have a lot hold on a second work bastard you're not allowed to say the artwork I'm doing
[00:10:37] it ironically oh okay that's because I'm woke it's okay yeah baby that's not very welcome
[00:10:44] you baby I mean you might want to you might want to stop that baby you better we know how
[00:10:51] to tie your shoes can I uh anyway baby I was at home memorizing every line to every episode
[00:11:04] of goon move when I heard my and arch nemesis dr. evil was on the come down p cast and I'm
[00:11:14] here to rest you evil yeah I rest him for his crimes against the bloodosphere I frankly
[00:11:22] I've done nothing against the autistic community I don't understand the hatred autism powers
[00:11:28] listen all you what's the problem with your voice I think maybe autism powers they too
[00:11:41] many edibles before the block no baby I've never smoked me to my life baby I'll tell you
[00:11:49] what I have eaten though he said pussy no baby that's repulsive baby a human pussy nobody
[00:11:59] know this stereo type of on the autistic that they hated sex I train pussies baby yeah trains
[00:12:08] don't have pussies autism well that's just a matter of perception baby wow I get in the
[00:12:16] caboose and I eat that train pussy oh not long baby well I'll tell you what I've got to go
[00:12:24] I've got evil plans I tend to dr. evil kid dreams as far as I'm concerned thank you for
[00:12:30] having me I say goodbye I gotta put you in jail baby star brothers and Adam will tell him
[00:12:41] okay thank you star for us well there goes dr. evil just us baby you let him off the hook
[00:12:50] you let him off the hook here I am bitch oh my god baby this Caitlin Jenna baby surprise girl
[00:13:00] here I am it's an easier impression to do it sounds a lot like dr. evil baby I can't
[00:13:08] be very similar but I'm yeah it's basically the same thing you're a hero thank you can
[00:13:16] I just say you're beautiful I agree with that you're a beauty I've had a lot of surgeries
[00:13:22] make this happen thank you I'm attracted to you sexually you know okay well I have to
[00:13:27] go now to charry oh no I thought I was getting somewhere yeah baby well I have to go I have
[00:13:35] to go fuck a train so it's me work boss stop keep it keep it 100 I will do that oh hey guys
[00:13:50] I'm I'm back from the rape convention oh it's Nick Mullen and walk bastards also leaving I've
[00:13:56] got to go now even there cuz I'll hate and I'm hate Nick Mullen fuck I lost the exit and
[00:14:05] a scene guys that was actually from the play Hamilton that was a plane you've been seeing
[00:14:11] the play Hamilton no actors and deleted scenes from Hamilton that was all black people doing
[00:14:17] that it's gonna rhyme that's a rough dry Hamilton rough draft you know give it a couple more
[00:14:23] weeks and you know that Lynn what's his face maybe Lynn well it's gonna hammer out the kinks
[00:14:31] and that have any of you seen Hamilton no no I I saw the performance I guess I should also
[00:14:41] just say it's good to be back guys yeah how is it it was pretty good they tried to get
[00:14:48] me fired oh he sent an email to the rape joke and then it was a day and then a bunch of
[00:14:55] other you know just like angry people online they said that they sent him an email and
[00:14:59] saying like this guy does rape jokes he thinks it's like funny to choke women wow that's
[00:15:03] actually direct quote for me I don't remember saying it but apparently I said that you said
[00:15:08] that it's funny I didn't think I didn't think I did but a journalist tweeted that I said
[00:15:13] that so I guess it must be true that's probably true top three banana peel on the ground choking
[00:15:19] a woman and hitting the balls obviously yeah and then the trifecta where a woman slips on
[00:15:27] a banana peel and her vagina falls into a guy's crotch and so he has the pain of being hit
[00:15:32] in the balls but he's also raping and then just the funniest thing yeah funny they did
[00:15:38] a study that's historically the funniest joke that translates across all that joke
[00:15:42] was written by the Japanese world war two they killed a ton of GIs from laughter they
[00:15:47] don't laugh that's that's that move is actually how the Russians won the 1980 Olympics gold
[00:15:52] of the Olympics yeah they coordinated it mr. Fettlana shiranka she you know she put out
[00:16:00] the banana peel and everyone's like what is she doing this is gonna be fucking ridiculous
[00:16:04] and then and then yeah she she pulled it off with her partner Igor fuck suck kids off
[00:16:14] he was like kids eager suck kids off with a V yeah it's it's pronounced off but it's
[00:16:20] a so that's what I said yeah my name is ego sucky oh he goes here I'm here to help they
[00:16:27] skype the audio fidelity in my head runs it's just perfect yeah oh no he goes you gotta
[00:16:36] go oh goodbye every day pretty soon the characters are gonna be one second like just the name
[00:16:43] and then yeah yeah oh good all you everybody I'm talking to you like it was that guy Australian
[00:16:49] I'm not the trans hatter hello I'm the trans hatter you're not allowed to call me ugly anymore
[00:17:00] oh my gosh legally you have to say I'm beautiful man you're only allowed to do impressions
[00:17:07] to Caitlin what's that mean it because she's rich that's the only chance Caitlin bitch
[00:17:12] here I am but here I am but here we are the real trans wives of target bathrooms it's the
[00:17:18] reality show we're all here in the bathroom for a big birthday bitch celebration the cut
[00:17:25] Miranda's balls off it's like a family coming in they're like get out of here we're having
[00:17:29] mimosas and target us the sponsor oh boy yeah the rape joke convention was great you know
[00:17:40] they sent all those emails try to get me fired and I was just gonna go attend and then they
[00:17:44] let me be the keynote speaker oh that's also I gave a shout out to come town and I've noticed
[00:17:49] there were an additional 80 million downloads last week we're making a lot of money off dude
[00:17:54] yeah we've got the patreon pay I said I used to call it patray on like general patray
[00:17:59] yeah I was sucking and fuck that's how I thought you pronounced it and then somebody laughed
[00:18:04] at me and I was like yeah you know that's not a word they made up that fucking word for
[00:18:08] patray on pat yeah patreon patreon patreon like a patron right but they couldn't call it
[00:18:13] patron because somebody already owned that so has anyone sent us money for whatever this
[00:18:18] podcast yeah every episode we're making about seven seven thousand hundred dollars seven
[00:18:23] million dollars that's not bad it's not like grow if we should tell the listener at home
[00:18:28] what we're gonna do with the money so well it goes to my crippling Ferrari addiction and
[00:18:33] Adidas addicted to Ferraris yep I melt them down for real though we will buy custom come
[00:18:40] town tracks tracks man I 100% oh my god if you give us money we will yeah Adidas wouldn't
[00:18:47] make them because they have refused to acknowledge my presence on the internet damn it no matter
[00:18:51] how many times I tweet at them or send threatening emails to their customer service department
[00:18:57] we could get that shit and just so on like a come town patch on the back or so that's
[00:19:00] what we should do and we should sell those at 800 or 9,000% markup or whatever that's
[00:19:07] why don't we get fake bootleg shit and make that now we're talking yeah why don't we
[00:19:12] get kuji track suits okay and then put the come town logo on them I'm done we'll talk
[00:19:17] about this more no no what's that Cosby is like that majority shareholder kuji and private
[00:19:23] prison industry that makes sense I just made it up what if he ends up in his own prison
[00:19:29] that he's the hero of the prison did you think anyway people are like I hope Cosby goes to
[00:19:34] jail it's like he would be the king there there's no way that they would have everyone
[00:19:39] in prison would love bill cause they'll be the greatest time of dad's life would and
[00:19:44] beautiful degree of cigarettes and Doritos from Congress area or whatever that'd be great
[00:19:50] and hey Bill how's it going you're the reason I almost didn't end up in here well if you
[00:19:56] just stop but with the cuss words oh my god Bill Cosby's here everybody I was at a restaurant
[00:20:03] she's with my wife restaurant and she said if you just stop with the cuss words and the
[00:20:11] rape and the women and the jalom I had to go yeah I mean Cosby okay it's me everybody the
[00:20:29] yeah why are you doing it in pressure of me right now I'm not doing it all right professor
[00:20:37] I'm not I will never be a moratas fucking you lots of me you know oh it's me I'm retarded
[00:20:46] I'm dream we should just bring that the rich guys guys guys guess how long this episode
[00:20:54] has been so far six minutes twenty minutes oh boy oh boy can I talk to you guys about
[00:21:02] something that's been fucking me up sure okay so I looked at the Forbes richest people in
[00:21:08] the world list right yeah number one easy Billy Bill Gates right number one bill gay
[00:21:14] it's not Carlos Slim number four he dropped down according to the current Carlos court
[00:21:20] to the curtain Carlos current Forbes list slim Carlos is the guy from the wire Carlos
[00:21:24] Slim is the guy that invented Slim James Slim Charles Slim Charles you know it's what
[00:21:29] that's what you're not you don't even know but Charles and Carlos are the same name I
[00:21:32] happen to watch the wire on the engine translated I didn't watch it in your
[00:21:38] solution. Slim Carlos you got it lost I've unboked I'm sorry that I watch it in Spanish
[00:21:44] so it could be it seemed more real to me yeah I decided to change her ethnicity guys this
[00:21:49] is a working theory of mine but the star of the wire do you know who that was the why
[00:21:54] all the white characters the city of Baltimore city of Baltimore the white characters is
[00:21:58] funnier than all the guys that season two of the wire aka season one of the one of the
[00:22:05] wire Frank Subotka season two was like like 31 years old yeah but he played like a 55
[00:22:12] year old that's what happens man if you go bald you go bald you go bald you're fucking
[00:22:16] 38 years old until you die except me like I'm the exception but yeah you get
[00:22:21] right or is dress like an idiot Forbes list yeah I just cool your own you can play
[00:22:25] ultimate Forbes list I could number one Bill Gates number four Carlos Slim number
[00:22:30] two I thought Warren Buffett right here's here's the trick right there's no number
[00:22:35] three there is so everyone's looking for number three I can't find it there's
[00:22:39] only four million errors run around the school all right school well that's where
[00:22:44] you do that prank I don't know the pigs Warren Buffett three who's the number
[00:22:49] two richest guy in the world according to Forbes right now P Diddy it's the guy who
[00:22:58] owns Zara the store what the guy who owns Zara when I looked up he's like I looked
[00:23:05] up his bio and basically the only thing he's ever done is owned Zara Zara is like a
[00:23:12] shoe like he has 21 he has almost as much money as Bill Gates he has more money
[00:23:18] than Warren Buffett that's insane what is that storage like a ladies it's like a
[00:23:23] shit it's like H&M oh really it's like but it's owned by this guy it makes
[00:23:27] absolutely no sense how like shady pants yeah he has almost as much money as
[00:23:33] Bill Gates like Bill Gates brought the personal computer to people's homes the
[00:23:40] most like no that was Al Gore did okay I'll go or inventing computers in the
[00:23:44] internet that's right and getting sucked off outside he was the first guy to
[00:23:48] get stuff outside was Al Gore I invented I can't get anywhere close I
[00:23:52] invented I can't stop I can't stop thinking about how the fuck this is
[00:23:57] possible how much money that makes the Zara guy being the second world did he
[00:24:01] have my maybe had money from something else it's probably real estate or
[00:24:04] something he owns Habsburg that he owns the textile have you seen that that
[00:24:08] there's like a like a like a conspiracy there was a meme that goes around it's
[00:24:14] like one Jewish bank owns every bank one Jewish family is every bank
[00:24:20] oh you said that's a protocol is the elders design it's like five families no
[00:24:24] there's a thing going around saying that the Rothschild family currently is every
[00:24:28] national bank in the entire world yeah which you know it's true but like why
[00:24:32] would you you know remind people that you know my reggae band is called no this
[00:24:36] gonna get the protocols of the elders of Zion sound cool it's all we smoke we
[00:24:44] it's all Jewish banking people my reggae band Zion the lion Zion anyway
[00:24:53] yeah so but like the reason I was looking at the Forbes list is because I
[00:24:59] wanted to know if Donald Trump was even the richest guy named Donald in the
[00:25:03] world no shot there's three other who Donald's richer than him I don't know
[00:25:08] but they're fucking they got so much money what you would have to if your
[00:25:11] name's Donald you have to be a millionaire there isn't an atom in the top
[00:25:16] 1000 richest people in the world good fuck that shit yeah but they're like
[00:25:21] 20 Donald maybe if your fucking name was Donald or Carla Slim or some co-host
[00:25:25] them to tight there's a Russian that I saw in the list there's a Russian guy
[00:25:30] yeah his first name lies off that gold medal fame his first name is
[00:25:38] literally God really yeah yeah it's like God Sarnaya for something
[00:25:44] I am yo can we talk about how that Sarnaya I've got not guilty y'all got to
[00:25:49] film me though what what happened joke joke our Sarnaya he had not guilty
[00:25:55] no I just don't think he's guilty oh I thought you meant they had a trial and he
[00:26:00] was somehow I missed that yeah it's too beautiful no first of all you can't be
[00:26:09] a stoner and be a terrorist it's not possible that's going to a Tom Myers you
[00:26:14] working out but it's what the fuck he talking oh did you have a bong hit
[00:26:20] transplant I mean you'll be you listen you tell me you're gonna hit the ball and
[00:26:24] get up and do plans I don't think so tell me my money is gonna take it took
[00:26:29] yeah on his way to the on his way to the blueprints he's gonna see a bag of
[00:26:33] Cheetos and that's it my friends I think someone that's never smoked weed
[00:26:41] talking with authority back yeah it's the funniest thing in the entire world
[00:26:46] so like bragging about what the funniest thing Tom Myers ever did back to Tommy
[00:26:51] yeah fuck I was gonna do some research about shows that's gonna be next oh yeah
[00:26:55] we'll do that later but the funniest thing Tom Myers ever did is when he did
[00:26:59] that CD taping I love it he was doing a bit and I forget what the bit was but
[00:27:05] he sort of just casually mentioned it while he was on stage that his parents
[00:27:09] already have a grave for him next next to them next to them they already decided
[00:27:17] this is what I'm gonna have a family you know I bought that CD online just so I
[00:27:21] could hear stop laughing I think it's all like I'm surprised to listen to it soon
[00:27:29] fucked up cuz Mike Turpin the whole time was like stomping his foot down yeah on
[00:27:33] the ground yeah I was doing this exaggerated laughing and my turn yeah
[00:27:37] Mike Turpin's a giant he's like yeah he's like a power lifter whatever MMA
[00:27:42] yeah like well the guy squats like a thousand pounds so he's like just smashing
[00:27:47] his massive footing Instagram like fucking up the recording equipment the
[00:27:51] Tom had to ask his parents to answer him I'm all like listen guys with when
[00:27:58] Bernie drops out we will be one step closer to Tom Myers eating that pussy
[00:28:03] yeah well I'm writing I'm writing that in on the ballot Tom Myers has to eat the
[00:28:07] pussy and that's I'm voting Hillary only of Tom Myers is the post yeah we should
[00:28:13] definitely get a clip and throw that in in the shit yeah oh definitely that'll
[00:28:19] be the break it's gonna be the Tom Myers stuff
[00:28:24] fuck what was I gonna say I had some another Tom Myers story you're talking
[00:28:29] about the graves he's also an announcer at a at a children's baseball
[00:28:34] field but what was the best part about that CD taping is Tom actually has fans
[00:28:39] and I earned these like two weird guys from Newcastle Delaware what yeah these
[00:28:45] two yeah I'm serious these two like with like this guy whose proportions were
[00:28:50] all fucked up he was like you know just fat and wide a Reddit guy with a weird
[00:28:54] like witch hat I remember that yeah and the long hair and he came all the way
[00:28:59] from new I guess it's not that far away from go there but still yeah anyway
[00:29:04] anything longer than one at the fact that Tom Myers has a fan yeah but it's like
[00:29:08] that makes sense that that's who would be oh yeah yeah like just the most off
[00:29:14] brand Reddit guys like not even cool in the Reddit world yeah Woody like he
[00:29:18] he's intimidated by guys that wear bazingah shirts so I call her they're
[00:29:23] looking at me I hope they asked me to sit with them
[00:29:28] holy shit imagine being on the low and that totem pole dude oh my god that's
[00:29:33] the way I remember that Mexican Reddit guy yeah yeah yeah yeah he was wearing a
[00:29:38] fedora and a bazingah shirt shooting pool like a year ago and there was this
[00:29:42] fucking guy it was like a Mexican guy with another Mexican guy and he's wearing
[00:29:46] a bazingah shirt he's got a fedora on they're speaking Spanish and I think he
[00:29:50] was vaping he was there's another element there was a third element it's
[00:29:53] a spend there's a vaping yeah there's a third Reddit and stops like this is just
[00:29:57] like a Mexican Reddit guy and he's just speaking Spanish so the whole thing
[00:30:01] so leuce faminesimo is a cancer and the guy with him was just like in a
[00:30:13] like just Mexico soccer t-shirt like it was just he was clearly just I don't know
[00:30:19] it was incredible yeah he got bullied out of Mexico that's why I came here he
[00:30:23] had made fun of so hard in Mexico he had to come across the border I was just
[00:30:28] remembering the other day I saw I miss I miss watching black teens harass people
[00:30:33] the best I was on a bus when I was like 17 and there was these three black
[00:30:42] teenagers harassing this middle-aged black woman who was like kind of
[00:30:47] overweight and they were just making fun of her feet and so they're like
[00:30:52] ah bitch your feet look like track three a woman there wasn't talking
[00:30:59] out like bitch your feet look like track three toes look like fucking rotten
[00:31:03] grapes she's sitting there and just like you know stoically looking ahead trying
[00:31:08] to ignore them and there's like tears streaming oh holy shit oh my god that was
[00:31:17] like a classic that is some fucking very good shit I saw I heard this this one
[00:31:25] lady bullying another lady on the streets yesterday she's like where'd you get
[00:31:29] that dress century 22 well it's not century 21 it's an knockoff it's what is
[00:31:37] 22 is better it's from the future that's true why like the century 21 is like
[00:31:43] the place it's not forever 21 yeah it's a it's close to forever but it's a
[00:31:47] shorter amount of time yeah this entry sounds like a long time but it's
[00:31:50] certainly not forever forever and that's the bit folks that's pretty good
[00:31:54] that's what you bring that one you know why I think terrorists could never be
[00:31:59] putt it should we do break so too yeah now we hit we hit 30 minutes so
[00:32:06] first half is a success and then yeah I gotta get more coffee we'll be back in a
[00:32:10] minute so enjoy the Tom Myers bit I'm Don Chippley that phony Navy seal the
[00:32:16] weak guy and jeez if I've been getting beaten up with emails about some pictures
[00:32:22] some chief posed with Hillary Clinton at one of her rallies or some stuff out
[00:32:27] of all the phony seals that I've ever busted I have never been wrong because
[00:32:34] I check double check and triple check double check double check and triple
[00:32:39] check and I make it my business to know awards uniforms buds databases
[00:32:45] classified shit claims seal buds databases classified shit seal claims
[00:32:53] uniforms all of it that some of you guys went nuts when I started getting off a
[00:33:01] YouTube and starting my own video website and the reason I did it putting
[00:33:05] stolen valor on the map new laws and act that the guys can't get away with this
[00:33:09] stuff posed with Hillary Clinton at one of her rallies or some salary so it's an
[00:33:14] election year it's an election year you guys are excited about this election
[00:33:17] coming up yeah me me I'm an Obama person but me I kind of part of me kind of
[00:33:26] wants Hillary Clinton to take the Oval Office
[00:33:30] no no okay okay hear me out hear me out what's the first thing Hillary Clinton's
[00:33:35] gonna do when she gets an office get back get back no get back at bill for all
[00:33:42] the shit he pulled that's why I'm gonna apply to be an intern I quit smoking
[00:33:51] that I quit smoking though so I don't know if that'll affect my shot but no good
[00:33:58] morning Vietnam I killed myself cuz I have Parkinson's
[00:34:14] characters the characters app continues characters will not stop coming today
[00:34:20] nobody stops coming baby this is content
[00:34:33] yeah I'd smoke so much we've got THC and I'll smoke my cum
[00:34:39] alright guys we got to talk about something for a second what's wrong
[00:34:44] Nicky boy so I mean I don't want to confront you guys are making seem like
[00:34:50] it's your responsibility or anything or what I mean okay well a couple of times
[00:34:55] I've stepped out of the room yeah and while I've been gone you've led other
[00:35:00] people on the show which I'm fine with it's supposed to be an open room I get
[00:35:03] that there's always an open door everyone knows that well there's one guy
[00:35:06] in particular apparently there's this Seth dickfield guy Seth that comes on
[00:35:11] the show yeah which I have no problem with but yeah I found out that
[00:35:17] apparently that's supposed to be like a cruel impression oh god this guy that
[00:35:23] that blocked me on Facebook a while back he blocked me this big well no I mean
[00:35:29] he's whole he'll talk to me as if we're friends whenever he you know has like a
[00:35:33] complaint or something that he wants me but for the most part no we're not
[00:35:37] friends and he's up on the slime bag oh my gosh according to him and you know
[00:35:43] it's kind of like an issue so we shouldn't really be addressing him on the
[00:35:45] show now I don't buy it I think he's like blowing this out of proportion I
[00:35:50] really don't see the similarities I mean he's they're both named Seth sure yeah
[00:35:54] kind of have the same opinions but that you know this this Seth has round
[00:35:58] glasses and Seth dickfield from what I know has square glass square that's a
[00:36:02] big that's a key thing about the set dick you wouldn't fuck that up you you
[00:36:07] know if you're gonna do an impression of somebody you at least get the glasses
[00:36:10] right so right right right especially on a podcast yeah so I mean guys at most
[00:36:15] like maybe like six or seven more times you can let him come on okay you know I
[00:36:22] mean I really okay it's really upsetting this guy that is also named Seth yeah
[00:36:26] is also named Seth I guess really if anyone named Adam is like like a fucking
[00:36:32] mean character like I'm gonna get offended by that that's like bullshit we
[00:36:36] don't need to give in look you need to understand is that this other guy Seth
[00:36:40] did something happen well he he has PTSD oh no which you know I mean he
[00:36:46] wasn't like a veteran or anything but apparently like growing up people would
[00:36:51] make fun of him sometimes which you know nobody experiences that that's not a
[00:36:54] thing that anyone else has to deal with it's it's really just him so it gave him
[00:37:03] posting post post being teased by Seth dickfield
[00:37:10] he has podcast it's since for podcast triggering Seth
[00:37:14] day it's a different type of PTSD geez we're setting a lot of people I think
[00:37:21] well maybe maybe about this podcast is that like I don't know if people like
[00:37:25] this or not but it's kind of been a platform for us to just make fun of
[00:37:29] people we know yeah not like necessarily even famous people or you know well
[00:37:35] known people well it's well maybe though he's punching this punching laterally
[00:37:40] guys I don't believe in punching up or down to the left to the front and to
[00:37:44] the right that's what Ali did and that's yeah you know I'll be yeah was the
[00:37:49] greatest that actually you know said that last week if you're not hip to
[00:37:53] Muhammad Ali it's not too late yeah yeah if you're that hip to whoa in the room
[00:38:02] well maybe about this for a solution we just have him on and we'll hash it out
[00:38:08] well I asked him he you know he was blowing up my phone the other day and he
[00:38:12] was like what did you say about me I was like I didn't say anything dude we you
[00:38:17] never come up once which is a that voice sounded a very different to the Seth
[00:38:22] yeah yeah he's like a you know I mean I don't really know Seth dick bill but
[00:38:27] he's like hey everybody how are you doing which is not a Seth it's like here I
[00:38:31] am it's me Seth and those are two different and day yeah yeah it's true
[00:38:37] you know similar accents because they're from the same exact place and they're
[00:38:41] the same age so you know they would have had a similar if not I don't know
[00:38:45] each other you know weirdly enough I don't think if you really anything round
[00:38:52] square together to talk sometime in the future we should maybe I see if we can't
[00:38:57] I asked him if you know because he was like is like what did you say about me
[00:39:00] and I said I didn't say anything and I mean I don't know this Seth dick field
[00:39:05] yeah so you know I can't answer for what another man says you know I have
[00:39:09] integrity and I'm not gonna I'm not gonna put words in somebody else's mouth
[00:39:13] you know that's messed up to get a totally fit if you know to go around just
[00:39:17] like almost doing an impression I care get your yeah I wouldn't do something
[00:39:22] we know that that's and that's why we started a podcast together yeah because
[00:39:25] my friends because I care about my friends and I appreciate my friends and
[00:39:29] the diversity of opinions that my friends may or may not be regardless of
[00:39:33] whether they block me on Facebook because I made fun of one female ghost
[00:39:38] buster bus eight months ago what was the book he was writing he's like he's like
[00:39:46] I oh get get a load of this I'm I'm in a coffee shop the other day of course he
[00:39:53] is he just sits in coffee shops we're gonna projects I'll never fucking go
[00:39:57] anywhere just to two hour movie that's all puns I've got that guarantee you
[00:40:02] that's what he was writing I'm a coffee shop the other day
[00:40:07] and I hear this guy he's talking about he's on the phone with his pal and he
[00:40:13] like transcribes this guy's like you know a minute conversation for his face
[00:40:17] book for his Facebook about how oh what this is back before he was burning
[00:40:22] guy then you know oh oh it's this guy's complaining because he's saying oh it's
[00:40:27] sexist if you complain about Hillary Clinton news for your pal it probably
[00:40:32] is and you know that kind of shit and he's like and then he doesn't even stop
[00:40:35] there he said going on to say it's like they have to have a female ghost
[00:40:39] busters now it's like why do girls have to have everything and then it closes
[00:40:42] the quotation then his line at the end is look out ladies there's a new MRA
[00:40:48] sheriff in town when you say MRA sheriff the image that pops in my head
[00:40:58] partially due to autism probably is I remember Mario Party 2 where you can
[00:41:03] get like there are letters like cowboy level no but it's a cowboy Wario is
[00:41:08] what that's right there's gonna be that's gonna be on the unit somewhere what
[00:41:15] picture cowboy Wario yeah unfortunately your followers so video followers
[00:41:21] AVI's or whatever so I guess yeah I guess wanted you know just bring that up and
[00:41:27] you know let you guys know that you know maybe maybe prevent that okay from
[00:41:31] talking too much shit well open invitation to this other set anytime you
[00:41:37] want to come on yeah hash it out you don't really you don't even have to
[00:41:41] unblock me on Facebook I was following you because you followed me really so oh
[00:41:45] he blocked you on Facebook or on Twitter I haven't been blocked it but I'm sure
[00:41:49] after this podcast probably yeah well if you want to sneak into his
[00:41:54] mentions the key is replying to anything tolly quaylee because his
[00:41:59] Seth will defend his opinion against anyone the day trolls tali how dare you
[00:42:06] say that to tali really pop good damn I love you tali just and you know I
[00:42:20] I love it you know what it's so fucked up is he doesn't understand how funny he
[00:42:24] is he's amazing he's one of the funniest people in the fucking world and he just
[00:42:29] doesn't get why he's not on purpose yeah no it's ridiculous he's funny though
[00:42:34] it's stand up right I wouldn't say that okay well I don't know I saw him at a
[00:42:41] open mic once he was very funny that's all I can say yeah you know I mean for
[00:42:45] yeah for some days been in comedy 16 years yeah funny I didn't make you're not
[00:42:49] helping you know he's very funny and we'd love to talk with him because he's so
[00:42:56] funny and we want him to defend himself hindering too much dude yeah okay sorry
[00:43:00] it's it's a delicate line you almost have to nag him into it you know you got a
[00:43:05] treat him like a woman yeah I think we're on agreement there absolutely so and I
[00:43:16] guess from the Brandon Ward elk corner who isn't a character that's just
[00:43:20] Brandon's our friend who's big been the most remarkably successful out of
[00:43:25] water and that's you know why is because Brandon's a fucking retard and hit no
[00:43:30] offense to real retards you know I know there's like issues with the word but
[00:43:34] you know Brandon's a fucking idiot but he acknowledges that like any fucking
[00:43:39] comedian like I know I'm an idiot and I'd say and do dumb shit all the time and
[00:43:43] you have to have a sense of humor about it otherwise like why are you even doing
[00:43:46] this right and that's why Brandon's successful school is because his all
[00:43:51] of his content is fucking dog shit like snapchat he's gonna be a snapchat
[00:43:57] fucking guy that's a thing I mean he's funny he's funny but he's also like
[00:44:02] self-aware to an extent like oh yeah he's doing like a crackhead teenager
[00:44:06] character yeah but he did he did try to troll me on Instagram because I
[00:44:13] think well he told me that he thought it was funny when I did the he guys a
[00:44:18] Drake Drake had a Pokemon and a big Sean big Sean come in and he don't have sex
[00:44:26] I like that you make him Asian I make him an Asian baby well that's kind of
[00:44:31] what he is well he is he's half Asian he's half Asian half Air Force he wrote on
[00:44:36] my he wrote on my Instagram my last Instagram post your light count is
[00:44:42] embarrassing it's wild you get cyber bullied by brando Wardell I really
[00:44:50] wanted to respond I stole this picture from black Twitter speaking of stealing
[00:44:57] shit from black Twitter do you see a good morning America thing no oh it was
[00:45:00] awesome oh god so yeah good morning America they I mean I feel so dumb doing
[00:45:05] topical why just do it well because it's you know what this is gonna be I'm
[00:45:08] gonna describe it and then I'm gonna go isn't that fucking stupid then we're
[00:45:11] gonna go yeah that was stupid well we're here baby yeah no good morning America
[00:45:16] like tweeted something like which meme is the most meme fucking something I
[00:45:21] don't know right and then they included it was like is crying LeBron the next
[00:45:26] yeah I was it is crying next big man but listen well then the is it that the
[00:45:31] next crying Jordan lizard tea hashtag lizard tea lizard is a curment
[00:45:38] the frog yeah yeah and then and then smocking that mask thing which I don't
[00:45:44] even know what that is yeah I haven't seen that one before and then some other
[00:45:48] fucking thing I don't know and then somebody wrote somebody wrote fuck was
[00:45:54] it good morning America just races or something about stealing the comedic
[00:46:00] excellence of black Twitter by not acknowledging black Twitter roots of a
[00:46:06] picture of Kermit the Frog I mean come on
[00:46:15] like that's if like that's well they invented rock and roll and they invented
[00:46:21] Kermit sipping a Lipton's tea that's none of my business though you guys if
[00:46:25] that's what cultural appropriation is at this point then I think it is that what's
[00:46:31] just stealing a picture stealing a morning America tweeting a meme that
[00:46:35] black Twitter invented also did good morning America wreck like they got the
[00:46:40] memes wrong right no they got them right it's actually it's actually more you
[00:46:45] know it's cool that they said tea lizard tea lizard is so be do you remember
[00:46:49] that that brand it was like a lizard yeah yeah I used to drink their energy
[00:46:53] drink oh yeah dude I used to get actually I used to get like crates like like a
[00:46:58] from Safeway they had or like shoppers food warehouse they had like the whole
[00:47:02] sale size so be adrenaline yeah I love soda I want to go back to being a soda
[00:47:13] guy I've been like really into did I mention it last time that Kmart
[00:47:16] graphics tees I don't know yeah I'm Bob Marley I am sure right now
[00:47:22] Marley shirt yeah you call you said I dressed like an idiot earlier you've
[00:47:25] been dressing solely in Kmart graphics tees for the next last three that's the
[00:47:29] fucking move did I want to find one of these like Bushwick norm core parties
[00:47:33] mmm-hmm there is like actually we just just normal that's like the cool thing
[00:47:37] and then you show up wearing like a like a like a suicide squad Joker fitted
[00:47:42] tea or fitted hat like the newest the chair and let oh yeah joker fitted hat
[00:47:52] and see if you can get them to kick you out of the party for wearing cake Kmart
[00:47:55] like you're not cool in the right way who has norm core parties though I don't
[00:48:02] know I might have just made it up I don't think that's the thing now Adam
[00:48:05] definitely you have definitely gone yeah you're gonna run into that way no way
[00:48:09] hundred percent probably the one you were at yesterday what are you telling
[00:48:13] me about oh yeah I went to this party and this girl was there and I didn't know
[00:48:18] she wasn't it ended up being a Lenny Kravitz his daughter Jenny Kravitz Jenny
[00:48:26] Kravitz yeah yeah no Zoe Zoe Kravitz you're telling me you haven't gone to a
[00:48:32] party where everyone's wearing just like white tees and like ugly jeans no
[00:48:37] that's Baltimore dude no dude not but I'm like the finish
[00:48:41] Baltimore everyone okay I don't want to piss people off let's do it be everyone
[00:48:46] smells like trash and Baltimore dude and dresses like poor people from the 90s
[00:48:52] dude how fuck that's the norm core aesthetic that is true that is bizarre
[00:48:55] how that's a thing where they were like 1998 is perfect but you do talk about
[00:49:01] art school kids involved yeah yeah like my kids yeah yeah yeah that's true I mean
[00:49:07] all those people are mad cool too but that's that that's the it's not that
[00:49:11] cool guys here's what I want to talk about what do you who you back coming
[00:49:14] for yeah go ahead who's excited for the new Independence Day oh I am did they
[00:49:21] get Wolf Smith they didn't they got is that the dude Will Smith son yeah he's
[00:49:26] playing will playing it's not Jaden but it's a guy playing will Smith actually
[00:49:30] picked suicide squad over Independence Day 2 what a fucking idiot what are you
[00:49:36] offended yeah I mean I don't think suicide squad's gonna be good I think
[00:49:40] I'm excited for an Independence Day 2 you're excited for it I'll see it but I'm
[00:49:43] excited for it well the first one was so good that's like the first time I've
[00:49:47] been earnestly like excited about a sequel or remake in a while you think
[00:49:51] it'll be good yeah of course it will I think it'll be fun they'll be fucking
[00:49:54] shit exploding and shit like that yeah that's what I mean the guy that plays
[00:49:58] will Smith son those sucks so hard on the commercial it's just like today earth
[00:50:03] he just gives he's just like trying to be like fucking you trying to give a big
[00:50:08] speech and it sucks the Bill Pullman one for yeah today is our Independence Day
[00:50:15] and then the president just like they let him fly a yeah well that's the thing
[00:50:19] is that he's sick at flying yeah he's a what if that's was his like that's what
[00:50:24] his campaign was like I don't know shit about anything but I'm the best at
[00:50:28] fucking flying and the people voted for him that's I mean Dwight Eisenhower
[00:50:32] didn't know he was a fucking he was a four-star general dude that's it was a
[00:50:36] huge you should see I could do this shit you couldn't easy dude okay well that
[00:50:42] went nowhere what's up what else I think it looks gay you think you think looks
[00:50:48] gay yeah I mean yeah on a scale of one to ten gays we should have a murder of
[00:50:52] you segment like that's the gay-o-meter I mean that's essentially rotten tomatoes
[00:50:57] is yeah yeah exactly well no it's because create a widget fresh which changes
[00:51:05] fresh to gay yeah no Hank the guy that Hank tomato the guy that open
[00:51:11] rotten tomatoes to me well yeah he was like a guy that Fox tomatoes huh so it
[00:51:17] was like how he ranked movies the more the better you like to movie the more
[00:51:21] tomatoes he fucked up yeah 100 we fucked 100 tomatoes a really good movie
[00:51:29] yeah no that makes sense we should have I was actually looking at a review of
[00:51:34] the sand lot a Roger Ebert review of the sand lot is it he trashed it no I mean
[00:51:41] it doesn't have like particularly good ratings but Roger Ebert said he's like
[00:51:47] you just so like enveloped in the movie that at one point a line drives hit over
[00:51:53] I don't know the first baseman and I found myself ducking in the theater and
[00:51:57] reaching up with my mid but I didn't have a mid on it's like no you didn't yeah
[00:52:00] absolutely did not have a lot you're like completely lying and if you did then
[00:52:06] you need an MRI you need like a fucking you need to get your brain it's like a
[00:52:10] 3D ride a Disneyland whoa he's a movie reviewer yeah he watches movies
[00:52:16] professionally if anyone is numb to that kind of shit it's him who the
[00:52:20] fucking kidding I thought the baseball was coming out in a movie screen I'm
[00:52:25] glad it's dead yeah me too honestly just that first interview he did when
[00:52:29] likely they got the they removed the second half the job is the bottom of his
[00:52:32] face oh geez he was just using the like the Stephen Hawking was using like the
[00:52:37] Mac talk app yeah I mean like hello it's me Roger Ebert I feel great or whatever
[00:52:43] and that video is great because you could just make him say whatever you want
[00:52:47] oh yes oh yeah have you done that I did I made a couple of them when I was like
[00:52:54] 20 let's make some more yeah we should do that some come-town originals come
[00:52:59] town originals of Roger well how did he die the cancer the cancer yeah didn't
[00:53:04] get like a jaw that documentary was really beautiful yeah and then it rejected
[00:53:09] yeah body rejected it or something had a jog in for there's like a day where he
[00:53:14] thought he was gonna be okay his wife's name is Chaz that's pretty cool there's
[00:53:17] a Chazbano yeah it is a sassy black lady named Chaz she's sassy that's you
[00:53:23] know who has a white white pictures on like vacation of Chaz's kids and and
[00:53:26] like just this fat white guy they're such a happy family it's like all these
[00:53:31] black people who just like portly white like smiling you know I'm a union to six
[00:53:36] flags custom t-shirts made the Koopa Yibu family reunion they don't have the
[00:53:41] shirts to thumbs up you know he was a drunk you know who has a black wife is
[00:53:46] George Lucas yep which is hilarious you know his wife played George our
[00:53:51] big less what I'm saying I was like I wasn't there a conversation at household
[00:53:57] at some point where she's like George what the fuck is this no it's chill because
[00:54:08] George you crazy this Jamaican crazy is high-pitched he was a platypus Jamaican
[00:54:16] yeah well I mean if you think about it that's the only like graces against
[00:54:20] blacks character in Star Wars because pretty much every other the majority of
[00:54:24] them are Asian people yeah he found a way to like every glasses lady in the
[00:54:29] last one that's he had to get that's a tribute to George Lucas that's the only
[00:54:33] hat tip to George Lucas like one day your destiny go be repeat we'll have real
[00:54:40] good time destiny you are you like Rook Skywalker
[00:54:44] like this is like a shooting star in the background it's like this you George
[00:54:51] major aims like points outside the stadium
[00:54:58] yeah you can you all like Saba you go down basement fight right Saba you be
[00:55:09] yeah fuck yeah yeah now the best one though the most racist of all the Star
[00:55:17] Wars like you know background characters has to be Han Solo's co-pilot in return
[00:55:23] of the Jedi you Han Solo or oh yeah Lando yeah yeah he just looks yeah I got
[00:55:30] factory well and then all he says is like oh okay yeah Asian people I think we
[00:55:40] might be on to something here yeah well more so because that's how really you
[00:55:44] can't just say somebody's racist right because nobody has time to you know just
[00:55:48] say like oh this guy hate many has that defensive like oh I hate everybody
[00:55:52] equally right you know he just says what's the word missing throat but
[00:55:59] he clearly hates Asians the most so that's the one you should focus on yeah
[00:56:05] beefing with an Asian actress who's that who's that sexy Chinese lady who is
[00:56:10] Lucy Lou no Sandra oh that's to both of them it was by lean or something like
[00:56:16] that oh yeah yeah from crushing tiger yeah yeah yeah yeah he was feuding with her
[00:56:19] she was like with the wires she got cut out of the movie or some shit like
[00:56:23] that oh really yeah she was in she was in it she was like hunting fucking fuck
[00:56:26] in I don't know Boba or some shit I don't know dude I was beating off to her
[00:56:30] once and that came up in a search yeah you see it made that ghost in the
[00:56:34] shell movie and like Scarlett Johansson they cast Scarlett Johansson all these
[00:56:38] idiots on Twitter are like um here's who you could have cast instead that's
[00:56:45] Ling Zhao Zhenjae and it's like the fuck any of these people are I know who
[00:56:51] Scarlett Johansson is we're gonna see this stupid fucking anime movie if she's
[00:56:55] in it I don't know oh she changed holly yeah she's on a TV show in Korea in 1992
[00:57:04] so she should be the star of this blockbuster movie yeah that one's gonna
[00:57:10] get me in trouble yeah we should just send that directly to your girl Sadie
[00:57:15] yeah Sadie should find out about that you need to apologize to Sadie about
[00:57:20] being racist to Asian people well you know I feel like Sadie could come around
[00:57:24] you know she's that's what Doyle's Irish she's got the the evil inner you know
[00:57:29] she has the potential to be as racist as in they came over on those boats and
[00:57:34] they saw those signs that said they need not apply yeah and they thought they
[00:57:38] thought that meant to life and so they just all became scumbag pieces of shit
[00:57:43] but actually there's another woman feminist to Jones that was fucking
[00:57:50] holy somebody started searching her old tweets and like 2012 she's like fuck a
[00:57:57] Chinese people yeah they just straight up said Chinese people can't
[00:58:04] Asian scan drive which is like not even a Hillary person yeah well I know yeah
[00:58:10] she's like a woke account though I don't this is such a weird group of people
[00:58:15] that Twitter has uncovered well so yeah so she had a middle the militant middle
[00:58:20] people well hold on so she goes she had a tweet on there that was like I love
[00:58:24] when you come out of a bathroom you could tell the bitch that was in there
[00:58:27] before her pussy stank like a holocaust shower which is like that's like my
[00:58:34] level yeah yeah this is kind of shit that I tweet I'm like that's extremely
[00:58:38] online yeah yeah and and so I kind of had this moment with her where it's like I
[00:58:43] don't want to shame her for these old tweets I just want her to be like come
[00:58:47] back yeah yeah like come to Jesus moment just give up all this shit monster
[00:58:52] I'm on fucking do it you like it it makes you probably makes you happy yeah you
[00:58:56] don't need to be a fucking good person you need to enjoy your life and take
[00:59:00] care of your children let's reach out to her let's get her on I tried to she
[00:59:03] blocked me I added her to one of my irony DMS isn't one of these like
[00:59:09] digging like this whole thing about digging up old tweets from accounts is
[00:59:13] like the same thing that we criticized this happens to like SNL people right
[00:59:17] yeah but that's you just do it to people aren't fucking sanctimonious pieces
[00:59:21] that's true I I support doing it to the world yeah if you're online constantly
[00:59:25] talking about like you know fucking going through and criticizing like word
[00:59:30] choices that people you presumably agree with like her tweets on that day we're
[00:59:34] all about some Asian guy that wasn't a good enough ally I said something about
[00:59:38] how like though like Asian men's like ally ship should be you know you should
[00:59:42] side-eye clap back fucking Kermit the Frog at it or whatever because you know
[00:59:48] it erases her and then you know then immediately people were finding those
[00:59:57] see Daisy she's like I'm glad I've grown a lot yeah but those are the people
[01:00:01] retweeting the stories about when a comedian gets fucking yeah hired and
[01:00:05] you know we just fucking ridiculous we'll stay out of that shit yeah no they did
[01:00:09] it to red nitsky or whatever who bumped me at the stand last night and crushed
[01:00:13] really yeah how does it stand up is he good I want to hate him I want him to
[01:00:17] like not but he's good dance yeah he's like 23 years and shit things I did on
[01:00:21] SNL was amazing I didn't see the dancing yeah that's really good he's
[01:00:25] clearly what he auditioned with yeah it was pretty incredible is it just
[01:00:29] dancing no he just does the entire plot of dirty dancing with in a dance
[01:00:34] and he's just how hard is that it's a dancing movie he's an electric
[01:00:39] performer yeah yeah he's not a bad stand up you thought it was bad it was fine I
[01:00:44] don't know I thought it was like I yeah I prefer Joe that's the thing is like
[01:00:48] they always bring the new guys on who aren't getting enough time to just do
[01:00:51] their stand up during weekend update right right so like that's like you they
[01:00:56] did one of those things with him yeah yeah you know what guys we should make
[01:01:00] our own SNL with all our crazy characters that we've been coming up with
[01:01:04] yeah yeah like dr. Evil and woke faster and Seth dickfield and autism
[01:01:12] good I think well we'll see if if we could do like a web series that might
[01:01:17] that would be funny you know that makes me horny baby I'll see that lowest from
[01:01:22] family got baby that would be good to see you know what I what is funny to me
[01:01:26] is because like I mean I'm not like a free speech guy per se but I do like
[01:01:32] copyright infringement a lot I think you should be able to just fucking steal
[01:01:37] shit from come for sure you can't own ideas my my my angle is it's not funny
[01:01:44] unless you get sued nice dude so I know that once come town gets to a certain
[01:01:50] point we're gonna be getting like a briefcase offer and they're gonna be
[01:01:54] like the only thing they try and buy it the only thing that needs to happen you
[01:01:57] don't change your name and Nick is gonna be like guys let's walk away
[01:02:01] yeah no oh yeah we're not changing the name of one is gonna fucking it was like
[01:02:07] a hundred thousand dollars it's gonna be in a briefcase yeah I'll do it we want to
[01:02:11] make this we want to make the year I'll get it I'll get a hundred thousand
[01:02:15] dollars for this podcast NBC Aaron fuck you you won't bitch yeah I will MTV come come
[01:02:21] you know what see dash M town I don't know if it's smart to shit on like a
[01:02:25] fucking MTV show don't do it all right well why do you want to work for them no
[01:02:29] not really it's not gonna happen but they're garbage so I was talking to
[01:02:33] somebody the other night and they're great we were making fun of like you
[01:02:36] know we've made fun of like MTV shows in the past sure and somebody told me
[01:02:41] they were auditioning but I'm not gonna I'm not gonna fuck it well I'll tell you
[01:02:45] afterwards I'm sorry I shouldn't have even oh wow I'm leaving it in he doesn't
[01:02:55] do you refuse to ever edit any of these ever no I don't I just learned what
[01:03:00] compression is the other day you can edit fairly easily I feel like I could
[01:03:04] but whatever why when you just drop it we move on to something else that's why
[01:03:08] I like that I wanted to mention this here's here's here's a good you throw
[01:03:11] this in the bit tank for the open mic do it so the money in the briefcase thing
[01:03:15] nobody has briefcases anymore no but they still do the briefcase thing in
[01:03:19] movies yeah right so somebody's buying draw if I saw somebody with a briefcase
[01:03:23] today that's for drugs I would pull them over did you see that truck that got
[01:03:26] pulled over in the Holland tunnel today oh yeah with all the guns but then they
[01:03:29] showed the truck and it's like this fucking like ram van with wrap around
[01:03:33] decals and a fucking like surge green cooler in the front on like a bracket
[01:03:39] they were like strapped up and they were like we had to rescue our friend who's
[01:03:42] addicted to heroin that's what they said and they had just like an arsenal of
[01:03:45] weapons and the truck yeah the truck looks like a like a mid 90s Mountain Dew
[01:03:51] promotion it's got all this like you know like urban tactical gear or whatever
[01:03:56] decals on the side like a Tonka decal oh hell yeah there's like a fucking beer
[01:04:00] cooler attached to the front like a like a neon green beer cooler attached to
[01:04:05] the front of the truck it's basically a monster truck damn I wonder what they
[01:04:10] were for real about to get into hopefully about about to like kill somebody over
[01:04:14] Mountain Dew that would be the raid the surge I love that you know what I love
[01:04:20] with each new mass shooting it's always like a new like kind of it's always a
[01:04:25] new different type of guy now yeah yeah yeah yeah do I of course it was a gay
[01:04:31] Muslim yeah closeted gay fuck I don't even know who to be mad at with this one it
[01:04:36] used to be easy just crazy white guy well until what's his name the DC cyber
[01:04:41] no I was I almost said Jeremy Lynn what's the fucking Arthur Arthur
[01:04:47] chug Virginia that joke what's his name show side Sun Sun Moon show I don't
[01:04:52] know whoever he is he should star in the new ghost in the show that he should
[01:04:56] that should be the fucking the young we did it and there it is that's the call
[01:05:00] back folks thanks for the podcast whatever we did it that's an hour you
[01:05:04] guys were fun yeah you guys got anything you want a plug no great seal