Cum Town | Regular | 10/19/2017
[00:00:12] uh... the old one and what's your from a man
[00:00:23] well i was invited to a party in the hills
[00:00:29] and there are a bunch of guys that were hairless and entertainment tonight it's
[00:00:34] access hollywood notes entertainment tonight i don't know is the same show
[00:00:38] it is one has more lopez one has two old white people what happened to mario
[00:00:44] yet is on under where line that i remember him announcing on the view
[00:00:48] and i i i i i was you know i remember when i was a young man
[00:00:53] knows you know struggling in comedy and fantasize about a time where i would
[00:00:57] have enough money yes in this business to live in nothing but mario lopez
[00:01:03] and i love his assuming branded bikini breeze consuming nothing but mark
[00:01:12] that he created himself using the power of south the racism
[00:01:17] and positive visual is a good instincts about who's a terrorist and who is in
[00:01:21] the secret ingredient is that the retinas of vietnamese men
[00:01:26] yeah grounded up and powdered right if you if you drink it with while wearing a
[00:01:30] turban and i should make your head explode
[00:01:32] it's so much blood rush your head that you're fucking
[00:01:38] you know mario lopez under where make your cock shiny to i feel like it makes
[00:01:45] it's high-cut to i feel like i feel like i see a side has hair
[00:01:52] he has a like one of the bikini wax landing strip
[00:01:55] oh very nice you know but still curly yeah
[00:01:58] he always wears like one of those cock rings that goes around your dick and
[00:02:02] your balls yes oh yeah yeah a fire pink colored one
[00:02:08] does that help you get harder what you know what i like to think about imagine
[00:02:12] how much ac slater would fucking hate mario lopez
[00:02:15] oh ac slater would not face a slater military brat
[00:02:19] wrestler jock yeah he fucked was he was he fucking the but he was like
[00:02:26] or was screech fucking black girl mario lopez a guy that got jacked by punching
[00:02:35] he put those like you know when baseball players have the little rings around
[00:02:37] the bats yeah he would put those around the guys cocks he jerked off
[00:02:41] oh yeah strong swinging three dicks he wants
[00:02:54] that was an ace bit you think he fuck he thinks he's gay is he gay i don't think
[00:02:58] he's ever had sex oh a man that beautiful yeah that's a waste of a body
[00:03:03] i don't know it's a waste of a glistening body my theory about mario lopez is
[00:03:07] you've never seen him when he's not smiling and i'm sure he's a very ugly
[00:03:13] i bet you looks to people people you think that they're attractive just
[00:03:23] i know there's a smiley energy of people mandy more
[00:03:26] she smiles always smiles always smile i bet she looks like absolute absolute shit
[00:03:31] i'll tell you some give that bitch a paper cut we'll see what she looks like
[00:03:34] you know we just discovered we just discovered uh... like hack street
[00:03:38] harassment like men telling women to smile yeah
[00:03:41] look i'm not trying to fuck with you but
[00:03:47] well i i know the kind of people who live in so-called lady you're trying to be a
[00:03:56] i hear mandy i think many more is a choreographer now think she did la la
[00:03:58] land apparently she is i think so or that's another woman named mandy more but
[00:04:05] yeah what were your mike dairons dairons dans grooves
[00:04:11] choreography for in sync and backstreet boys and all those together rape them
[00:04:15] yet in full-mercial out called dairons dance grooves where like he would
[00:04:22] i wasn't actually product he just bought that hour
[00:04:29] this is one hundred percent free i'm not selling anything
[00:04:33] call right now please talk to me talk to me off the lead
[00:04:36] and twenty minutes we're gonna be talking with one of the boys i meant
[00:04:40] exactly how the process works but we have a limited time only folks please
[00:04:43] continue watching watch me dance daira says
[00:04:48] mandy more i think what were your powerings of his britney spears
[00:04:54] you know did she ever cracked the top for you guys
[00:04:58] was there ever time where in terms of who you want to fuck in general do
[00:05:02] uh... actually and i can't remember all i know about me wasn't she in that movie
[00:05:07] that's pretty funny that's a good movie yeah she good actors
[00:05:12] one of the ways we are for girls it was ever good
[00:05:16] it's a day drop dead gorgeous and mean girls
[00:05:19] me girls rock dot gorgeous was uh... just a christopher gas i've never seen
[00:05:26] it's like about pageants about that's about pageants
[00:05:30] uh... you see that that's called contact with its and the working title the
[00:05:40] that's that's one of my one of my early crushes
[00:05:43] nice to a while elaine parker posy do you really go down on the limb yeah what
[00:05:48] he's talking about hot women you know kelly bundy liked was well
[00:06:03] fuck which is not one piece that's more than a
[00:06:06] when there is a sign for the episode where george
[00:06:13] that was huge the miracle on ice the nineteen eighty lupin is rooting for
[00:06:20] and if you can do it man and then like like always
[00:06:24] you don't get to be george bitch i'm george
[00:06:28] yeah i was always had very very well boy
[00:06:31] yeah i was in thin hair and i and that's what i always said to myself i'm not
[00:06:34] going bald as like no my hair's always been thin
[00:06:37] is like a new year possible i am on in the war party yeah you are putty
[00:06:43] someone fuck a lane yeah well you gotta do it
[00:06:47] no you're not cute enough to fuck all right stop is george slash newman no i'm just george
[00:06:53] now you're new there's another fact i think newman i'm the good fat guy
[00:07:08] mr's mom i think that was a subplot and he got eaten by a dinosaur
[00:07:13] that's that's that season later david left and it got really weird yeah that's what
[00:07:22] so okay so uh... that's we've covered that you wanted to fuck britney spears
[00:07:27] um i had a man who are facing jack off to some there is
[00:07:32] some picture in like trans world skateboarding of britney spears britney spears it might have
[00:07:37] been her album color cover actually that was a good one in the first one
[00:07:44] no the first one she's in uh... she's in uh...
[00:07:46] the schoolgirl outfit yeah but she's like sitting down yeah yeah oh yeah i
[00:07:50] like it i jacked off that when i was like ten
[00:07:53] i jacked off to that i jacked off to all her videos the red leather jumps in
[00:07:57] everything in trans world skateboard yeah
[00:08:02] uh... pictures of the world industries got
[00:08:06] a little flam and the flame guy and trip of water uh...
[00:08:11] i remember i thought it was a trans people of course you're trying to be an ally
[00:08:15] yeah i'm beating off everything in this magazine the trans world's game for
[00:08:22] uh... there is the video where she's like on a cliff
[00:08:25] and it's like i got a good night yeah yeah yeah it was it's supposed to be like a
[00:08:28] touching but her abs are looking mighty good
[00:08:33] bro when you're i remember when you're beating off to every part of a woman
[00:08:35] first single with chief use every part of buffalo my man baby one more to every
[00:08:46] the second one was sometimes i run sometimes i hide
[00:08:49] and then in between the two videos on she got double d fix
[00:08:53] right yeah she showed up at that second video wearing a white
[00:09:00] who was fought if that's a nice little she had the jigzos titties in the first
[00:09:04] and then she had enormous titties on that out
[00:09:08] and uh... that was a that was a very pivotal moment of my life you know what
[00:09:11] it's uh... red leather jumpsuits spoiled the double d's
[00:09:20] not enough to be a bit of a double d's i know she doesn't have any tips at all
[00:09:28] but she has a bit only because she's like a deformed yay noble mutant he wants
[00:09:33] to fuck a weirdo yeah yeah yeah yeah i was in time listen i was
[00:09:42] you're not serious about double d's not being big enough uh... and more
[00:09:52] i'm not saying she'd be against the law
[00:09:57] it should be against the culture sure yeah yeah legally you should be able to walk
[00:10:03] do whatever you want to be a constant privacy of your own right right with two
[00:10:07] consenting little titty adults what it do in the privacy their own home i like to
[00:10:11] go up to women who are breastfeeding when they got like you know they're
[00:10:15] fully packed bags you know no no i go up to them and i say
[00:10:21] you know or else and they think i'm talking about the kid
[00:10:24] you know keep it cute and she's like they grow up so fast i'm like
[00:10:30] they fucking deflate and get sick and then the smile slowly fades in the face
[00:10:35] and she realizes that there's a whole cut in one of my pocket
[00:10:53] your knuckles are threatening to bust through the seams of your khakis
[00:11:05] that's me and through the employee entrance when i come into the breastfeeding area
[00:11:09] heard beautiful hardfield jaxle it's a lot of stress upon these beautiful
[00:11:19] to keep them milk jugs keep them fucking
[00:11:23] topped off top off that titty for me yeah ladies keep them titties can you pump
[00:11:27] milk back into a titty how about that from making sure they stay big
[00:11:31] yeah take some fucking home milk from the grocery store naturally i had to
[00:11:35] unfollow randalin oh no why i'm supposed to pictures
[00:11:38] uh her and like i guess one of fettiwops friends
[00:11:44] and it's like it's like the team together forever it's like even you know that
[00:11:49] thing right absolutely together until you foolishly get a tattoo in like
[00:11:54] elongated cursive on your fucking forehead
[00:12:00] you know it says max bitch to garbage man
[00:12:07] deal with britain i'm not mad that you got a boy bram
[00:12:23] that cocks uglity puts on every track that song was so much better with drakes
[00:12:28] that the guy that says the numbers that's his job
[00:12:31] seven dia man man look i know this is going to be hard for you but i need you
[00:12:38] oh damn all right uh 1738 like that for like technically
[00:12:44] i mean it's two but we're gonna let it slide you did good
[00:12:49] you know so just you keep doing your thing
[00:12:56] she's taking a go busting nut and one of the creases in her ass
[00:13:00] a lower tier fucking that's uh dude i'm sorry the girl you're in love with
[00:13:04] has a boyfriend i'm not in love with with either you don't love them hoes
[00:13:08] i do get mad anytime someone else a boyfriend me too
[00:13:11] without my permission 100% you know although you know what i want to be
[00:13:15] a i i would love to be a side bitch that's my destiny dude
[00:13:19] for another guy no you just fuck some yeah fuck some guys
[00:13:23] well it's not gonna be in the daily driver you know what i mean
[00:13:26] oh no just sort of sex in exchange for a base level of emotional support
[00:13:32] i'll get you to work you know and back no i don't like some groceries
[00:13:37] no i want i want fun little getaways with somebody else's
[00:13:41] i can't wait to be a fucking waffle stepdad it hurts feelings after a while
[00:13:45] you think so dude yeah i've been in that situation where i've
[00:13:48] been in that situation where you've cucked another man but you all you are is in a situation where you're not good enough to be the one in the relationship
[00:14:00] no i've been another man buddy i've been another man multiple times and it's
[00:14:05] it doesn't but you know okay here comes here comes the fake empathy
[00:14:08] let's hear it go this is my favorite part where here's me doing something bad
[00:14:16] then i go actually it doesn't feel good to do that yeah i was stealing from this
[00:14:22] homeless black lady the other day and i was like this is like
[00:14:25] you know what do you think about it it's kind of fucked up
[00:14:28] shut up to steal money from the charity for a home
[00:14:33] should make a move i deserve it i actually deserve this
[00:14:46] that one yeah i do um no sake i probably want to get boot up dude sometime soon
[00:14:51] you know i just want to i just want to fucking hit a fucking pumpkin patch
[00:14:57] the girl become a gay icon you know hang out with me and mark walberg hanging
[00:15:01] out together getting sucked off by men we're the straight guys that they all
[00:15:06] wish they could be you guys start kissing holding hands in the gym together
[00:15:12] spotting each other saying racist shit locker room
[00:15:15] because in there you understand this code
[00:15:19] the billy billy bush violated the mark walberg yeah dude
[00:15:25] that fucking rat if i ever see billy bush in the streets it's on site
[00:15:30] i'm fucking you up billy honestly worse than what his uncle did in iraq
[00:15:34] yeah absolutely invaded the privacy of donald try i agree i agree i'll talk about
[00:15:42] yeah is that one of long your brothers you name your geographic area after a
[00:15:49] the biwick lavant actually there is that's an s uv isn't really the mozzarati
[00:15:53] lavant oh mozzarati makes an s uv damn s uv called a la
[00:15:57] lavante i'm about to buy two i think it's named after iraq i think so
[00:16:02] and wait is the lavant iraq in iran it's iraq in seria iraq in seria
[00:16:10] smart no the lavant is the area in between the tigers and the ufredis
[00:16:14] yes right no that's the cradle of civilization okay and it's no it's the
[00:16:17] area in between the tigers and you sure
[00:16:19] ufredis is the lavant and then the whole area is mesopotamia yes
[00:16:24] no no mesopotamia is between the tigers and then maybe meso potamia
[00:16:29] motherfuckers in between rivers it's the same word with the stupid acts yeah
[00:16:33] but it's not being bilingual yes it is bitch no that's having it just
[00:16:44] so happens that in this case it directly translates to being the same exact
[00:16:53] percent literate in spanish you know no you're not yes i am
[00:16:56] nope you just say that most of the words are the fucking same you just
[00:16:59] say your lopus yeah no yeah motherfucker mesopotamia
[00:17:04] that you get like a name labor mesopotamia mesopotamia
[00:17:10] no there's no r excuse me someone made a mesopotamia in
[00:17:15] background and i know it's my draw to clean it but
[00:17:19] i am supposed to clean another bathroom or this one
[00:17:25] Greek elazh ela de ela de ela de okay because it
[00:17:31] what hellenic it was hollenic greece no dude
[00:17:34] i don't know where the greece started that greeks weren't even greek
[00:17:38] what does that mean yeah you know like Homer he was a greek
[00:17:41] yeah alexandria yeah alexandria yeah it was don't you fucking dare try taking
[00:17:45] from us fuck all those guys are greek those fucking those fucking slavic
[00:17:50] motherfuckers calling their country macedonia
[00:17:53] that shit wasn't macedonia bitch okay no one knows who the fuck you are you're
[00:17:56] some bootleg version of serb you know let's look up where he's from
[00:17:59] he's from greece let let's stop be right about
[00:18:02] he's from philie dude okay fuck both you i'm right constantly
[00:18:07] i'm the only i'm the only one in you with the mean and an average was
[00:18:10] no you didn't yes i did no you did no you did
[00:18:13] 100 i'm gonna edit this part of the shot
[00:18:17] the first ever editing you heard that right folks edit this dick i edited
[00:18:21] to make it larger i edited a guy's name out one time but people immediately
[00:18:25] found it oh yeah i remember it was no because you said it later
[00:18:30] yeah we definitely said it later a bunch of times
[00:18:33] you didn't edit all of the he did that and like it wasn't even the first time i
[00:18:38] don't think i think you edited like the second time uh folks i got the
[00:18:41] playstation vr yeah you won't let me play because you'll break it the
[00:18:45] playstation very racist you're like an idiotic child
[00:18:48] i'm not an idiotic i'm not like cloyder yes you are dude
[00:18:52] i and stop back me up on this would add and break the play 100%
[00:18:56] why because your wrists are too weak to hold the
[00:18:58] yeah you are solid absolutely you break the recorder all the time
[00:19:02] you're i've never broken the recorder you don't game i never
[00:19:07] you never game motherfucker gaming is not a part of your heart you got a
[00:19:11] pretty shitty haircut this time around too yeah i did i asked for the first time
[00:19:15] you've had a bad haircut i don't mind this it's not bad i just
[00:19:18] didn't want to get the hipster like long on top short on short as you got what
[00:19:22] you got a shittier version of the lesbian fitness instructor
[00:19:25] i just got to yeah you look like you're about to fucking try and sell me a
[00:19:29] membership at brick bodies right now i feel like the lesbians have taken it
[00:19:34] like have they all have richer Spencer's now no no yeah they do no they don't
[00:19:39] they have your shit i kind of have like uh yeah it's not very good but it'll
[00:19:43] grow whatever i'm not that vain actually i'm pretty like i like to feel
[00:19:47] all right i like to feel ugly like make myself ugly you like to feel ugly yeah
[00:19:52] yeah you're you're you're the fucking you're exactly the same as the girls that
[00:19:56] post on twitter they're like pizza and bed yeah i bet someone's
[00:20:00] dying to marry me right right there's a guy out there that's like what
[00:20:05] yeah excuse me what what is that money on those fat ass titties
[00:20:09] relatable by having like a completely correctable
[00:20:13] and fucking not even that big of a flaw right i can't cut my own hair what are
[00:20:17] you talking about i used to cut my own hair for years
[00:20:20] okay that's cool i can't do it you look bad it's not that bad of a cut that i
[00:20:25] got by the way don't tell the cooking looks horrible
[00:20:27] i look great that was when you were fucking looking to
[00:20:30] shovel this hell those years no man i i cut my own hair i looked
[00:20:34] sharp no you're that fucked up patchy ass c captain beard you were you weren't a
[00:20:38] little fucking hat i wasn't cutting my hair then i was cutting my hair when i was
[00:20:41] in dc oh you did you had fucked up hair then as well
[00:20:45] yeah i was doing a drunk shit i remember you're fucking your hair that's the
[00:20:47] only way to cut your hair yeah your hair gets always
[00:20:51] varied that's how they do it sometimes you came in with like a
[00:20:53] fucking bulk like a high bulk cut type thing yeah
[00:20:56] anyway the other day i was in bed eating pizza you just fucked up the animals
[00:21:00] don't need to cut their hair they always look cool
[00:21:02] yeah what the fuck is that why don't animals have to cut their hair it
[00:21:05] falls like it all because they got fur i got fur but some dogs
[00:21:09] have you have to true yeah good point anyhow
[00:21:13] PlayStation PlayStation VR is really fucking cool
[00:21:17] what games do you have for it arkum asylum no just resident evil and then
[00:21:21] the demo disc that came here i want to download it off that shit i downloaded
[00:21:24] uh some shit called static which is like a puzzle game
[00:21:28] which sort of feels like a portal rip off probably and portal was a lot of fun
[00:21:32] and i like i kind of lost my patience trying to figure out a puzzle with a
[00:21:36] stupid thing on my foot there's got to be a board game guy that made braid
[00:21:39] and stuff no there's got to be a portal porno where you just do the little
[00:21:42] thing and it's a glory hole right that was an electric retard cartoon where
[00:21:46] it's the guy gets the portal gun and he shoots a portal to the inside of like
[00:21:49] a boy's locker room and then the one outside wall the school is just jacking
[00:21:54] off the electric retard was so funny was that a webcom it was a webcomic by this
[00:22:01] Australian guy and it got like banned in Australia because they don't have
[00:22:04] freedom of speech and uh so they're hard to find
[00:22:08] like they're online but like you can only find a couple of the dark web
[00:22:11] and uh and you know it was like i i loved it because it was like
[00:22:16] horrifically obscene of course yeah there was no like
[00:22:20] you know it's like everything now has to be like
[00:22:24] you know but what is what is it satirizing what's the point how does
[00:22:27] this actually punch up and it's like it doesn't it's just a cartridge yeah
[00:22:31] about yeah it was always like you know two like sort of normal panels and then
[00:22:35] the last one would be like horrifically racist for like sexual violence
[00:22:40] it was like i forget there was one where like it's just an old like Jewish
[00:22:44] couple sitting in her house and then fucking a shot like a
[00:22:48] 60 story tall hitler that's completely nude
[00:22:52] just fucking shoves his dick into the building
[00:22:56] and then takes the grandma and then fucks her in half
[00:23:01] and it's all drawn in ms paint like there was no like
[00:23:05] effort went into it it was just like this guy's like fucked up head
[00:23:11] and then the guy who made it turned out to be like a pedophile
[00:23:14] so that portal thing where he's beating off to a boy's locker room
[00:23:20] that's what he wanted he wished was positive no no no no you gotta
[00:23:24] you gotta respect the art dude you gotta respect the art
[00:23:27] it doesn't matter yeah there was like i remember there was like a picture of the
[00:23:30] guy that drew the shit and it was like him sitting on a couch with this fake
[00:23:33] like beak nose thing and his pants were completely off so his penis and balls
[00:23:44] i mean it was really fucking funny there was
[00:23:47] fucking one of my favorite ones is like it starts off the first panel as a
[00:23:51] kid and he's like digging in his backyard and he finds treasure
[00:23:54] and then the second one is he runs in and it's him like explaining to his dad
[00:23:59] and the dad's like sitting in a chair reading a newspaper and like you know
[00:24:02] smiling all the kids like excitedly saying like
[00:24:04] dad i was digging out in the backyard and i just kept digging and digging and
[00:24:08] digging and like i found uh underneath like all the soil
[00:24:11] there was like a treasure box and i opened the box and inside it there was
[00:24:15] treasure and then the next panel is the dad holding the kid down and jacking
[00:24:19] off on his face and the kids crying what the fuck
[00:24:24] he just got good gut that is hilarious yeah yeah yeah
[00:24:30] no it was it was a very funny cut for that guy you don't often hear it
[00:24:34] yeah you don't often hear a pedophile with a sense of humor i feel like
[00:24:38] you know that guy was usually beaten out of that dude you're
[00:24:41] responsible for always he has electric personality yeah
[00:24:48] superior is magic he's the host i just loved it did some way picked
[00:24:54] like a guy with zero energy zero appeal and then they were like this is the
[00:24:59] guy for 15 i know dude and then he's a rapist of children
[00:25:05] i mean you cannot go worse than damn commercial guys that's why like
[00:25:09] fucking advertising and marketing people are all like absolute fucking retards
[00:25:13] and none of them should have their jobs yeah it's all random yeah
[00:25:16] completely fucking random yeah fuck but i'm jealous of the fucking sonic
[00:25:20] guys that's a fucking nice life if you just hit that lottery yeah
[00:25:25] those commercials aren't bad but i'm just i'm just saying i'm jealous of just
[00:25:28] like that's a good fucking life dude being slow
[00:25:32] flow is probably a fucking oh billionaire yeah flow makes a nice money
[00:25:35] be person she's like but you know what why that would suck is because like
[00:25:40] that's it you're done that's your thing yeah but she's got it for like 20
[00:25:44] you know not 20 but she's got it for like 10 years
[00:25:46] going i would get my body i mean it's not like we're right you're right
[00:25:49] so you want to be a fucking comic and it's like that's done that's not gonna
[00:25:53] happen well like Pete Holmes got the e-trade baby yeah but
[00:25:56] Pete Holmes was already kind of a celebrity and it's a baby it's just his
[00:25:59] voice yeah it's just his voice yeah he was already doing well
[00:26:02] it's like i mean he was a celebrity he was he was doing well in comedy but
[00:26:05] knowing you the fuck he was i don't think yeah he didn't have it but also i
[00:26:08] knew it's a baby yeah because you're a comic but he's
[00:26:11] it's you know it's a baby if it's your face and you're like the guy it's a voice
[00:26:14] of everything yeah oh anyway i want to be i want to be
[00:26:18] one of those guys get a commercial agent i i would love to
[00:26:25] go to Ian we got to get Ian back on the pot he's been asking every day
[00:26:29] well that's why he's not coming back on you hear that Ian you motherfucker
[00:26:33] you know it was nice to you on the phone earlier i guarantee you Ian doesn't
[00:26:35] listen to the podcast yes someone tell someone tweet Ian and tell him we were
[00:26:39] talking shit about him there's there's not a
[00:26:40] band and every any comic that comes up to you and say like man congratulations on
[00:26:45] all this success a they don't listen to the show 100 b they do not mean
[00:26:52] they mean why is it my podcast that what they mean is is
[00:27:04] yes this has set me up nicely yeah in four weeks i got the baby driver 4k
[00:27:10] blue red did you watch it i did i liked it a lot i wanted to watch it
[00:27:14] yeah there was that to my best friend ansel elgort uh not my best friend
[00:27:18] he is mine good friends i i don't like him i i kind of thought he was sort of
[00:27:22] sort of gay and there was a bunch of gay shit in the movie there was a lot of
[00:27:25] dancing and choreography and kevin spacey but they gave it spacey is truly they
[00:27:30] make up for it with violence and cars yes pretty cool no nudity though so it
[00:27:35] gets what four thumbs down in that category no
[00:27:38] nudity yeah baby driver no titties whatsoever and you know i was
[00:27:42] apprehensive about seeing the movie because of the title too i mean
[00:27:45] first of all i'm not a baby i'm a big kid i don't do baby stuff i showed a
[00:27:49] bathroom on my own you know yeah i played growing up video games so
[00:27:52] and i was incredibly disappointed to find out that it wasn't it had nothing to
[00:27:56] do with being a baby adam was actually afraid of the title
[00:28:00] a column i don't want to be on the wall so scary
[00:28:04] basically i got a new album i can only travel with my quimp
[00:28:12] that's too much for him adam got hit by his race car bed
[00:28:16] it's not stupid of a baby he is that wasn't stupid um anyhow there's a lot of
[00:28:21] cool action that the chase scene that that movie opens with is really
[00:28:25] fucking cool i got a fucking p-bit director what's his name
[00:28:28] that made her right yeah he made some pieces of hot fuzz
[00:28:31] hot fuzz is great that's a good one i didn't like the fucking
[00:28:35] what's that movie where it was like a alien or some shit what about the
[00:28:39] aliens that one was weird what was the movie scott
[00:28:41] pilgrim i didn't like that oh that was good you like that i thought that was
[00:28:45] corny i thought i was fun but uh well there was definitely a lot of
[00:28:48] corny elements to this movie but i mean it was fun as well paced i enjoyed it
[00:28:54] yeah i know a lot of famous motherfuckers in there john ham with his big old
[00:28:57] cock was in there john ham james fox they had a dick off in the middle of the
[00:29:01] james john ham has a bigger dick yeah the james fox i think so
[00:29:05] why no i saw james fox bragging about the size of his penis on the
[00:29:09] tonight show when i was a kid really yeah what do you say during uh what is
[00:29:13] what is what is it uh what is the alpichino
[00:29:17] sent of a woman no alpichino james fox football movie
[00:29:20] oh oh any given sunday inch by it that's a great one
[00:29:23] fucking i think he was it there he was telling the story about
[00:29:29] fucking someone seeing his dick or whatever hmm and being blown away i
[00:29:33] think he's talking about like a woman seeing his dick or ever the woman
[00:29:36] he's probably in the movie and people say he's gay
[00:29:39] yeah jamey fox yeah people say i don't say well
[00:29:42] me and him have the same birthday well wouldn't be so he is you know what i
[00:29:45] found on that day is gay so what i found out this week so yeah he's definitely
[00:29:49] gay oh yeah so yep we can move forward now as a subject
[00:29:53] hollywood penis uh fact tidbit celebrity
[00:29:58] celebrity cock the celebrity cock minute with adam freeland
[00:30:01] celebrity penis tidbit milton burl had a 13-inch
[00:30:05] everyone knows that i didn't know that everybody knows i just had him
[00:30:09] adam read that under the cap of one of his gay snap
[00:30:14] apples everyone knows that milton burl and then
[00:30:18] tidbits everyone knows milton burl has a big
[00:30:22] everybody fucking those uh dude how does everyone know that because it was
[00:30:25] you know when i think it was in that it was in comedy central it's hundreds
[00:30:27] greatest comics they talked about milton burl i think was on the list or
[00:30:32] it was mentioned in some kind of fucking comedy special that milton burl had a
[00:30:36] huge dick um there is no dicks in the movie anyhow all the
[00:30:40] all the driving scenes in that movie just reinforced my uh decision to buy the
[00:30:48] 800 all 800 grand terismo wheel which will i can't
[00:30:52] immediately become a grand terino wheel as soon as i
[00:30:55] very nice because i'm racist folks that's the
[00:30:59] this he's drive the car the movie outside of that last
[00:31:03] i don't know yes he does i've never seen it oh yeah he does no he drives the
[00:31:08] pickup truck he doesn't drive yeah but when he goes to tool up at the end
[00:31:12] to get uh to save the humong kids what the fuck are you looking at pussy
[00:31:18] the mong it's not humong you fucking that's how that's how you have to talk when
[00:31:21] you get the grand terismo wheel don't fucking bother me i'm gaming
[00:31:27] playing video games right now you fucking spoke
[00:31:32] whoo yeah i feel like that movie wasn't written
[00:31:37] clineys would just dictated it into the inside of a bud heavy
[00:31:42] the whole thing in the bottle in front of him and he's like are you getting this
[00:31:46] in there i like do we have clint on his budwiser mic
[00:31:52] got a spook and then dragon lady and i want it all in the picture
[00:31:57] what's clint up to these days he's probably still making movies
[00:32:00] it's incredible he did that thing where he talked to the empty chair like
[00:32:03] 12 years like it's like forever ago he's still making movies
[00:32:07] with a four now i was like it for you like six years
[00:32:09] it's like yeah six years ago now which is not 12 years ago it's literally
[00:32:14] half that it was hyperbole no it was the wrong number
[00:32:18] yeah 12 whatever six years ago i think about exaggerating
[00:32:22] yeah my dick is uh is uh you know that's a bad example because
[00:32:26] yeah yeah i don't know that would be exaggeration i'm trying to think of
[00:32:30] something if you say you dig with four inches yeah or you could just
[00:32:33] make those in point a a uh rhetorical device called hyperbole
[00:32:38] where like a one-inch article device called your fucking brain
[00:32:42] got him yeah i was on fire tonight yeah you're doing good
[00:32:46] it'll light you up yeah thanks thank you sir you want you stay out of my
[00:32:50] fucking sights dude i got a beat on you i'm
[00:32:53] the mape anyway i'm saying no scoping your ass bitch yeah
[00:32:58] my man ain't even got to look through the little fucking things i was playing
[00:33:01] the new battlefield and i think i kind of want to buy a sniper rifle
[00:33:05] you know just to have a real one that never ends well i don't understand
[00:33:08] absolutely not they're like yeah i'm gonna buy a fucking sniper rifle
[00:33:13] in case you know is that a big epidemic no i just feel like it
[00:33:18] happens yeah that's how it starts certainly it starts
[00:33:22] with i'll just see what happens yeah i mean it's it would be pretty cool
[00:33:25] to own a sniper rifle but like what are you gonna do not look through the
[00:33:28] fucking scope or in your neighborhood not go to the fucking
[00:33:31] water tower you get a sniper rifle above a middle school right
[00:33:36] do you remember that you put the the black hawk down sound track
[00:33:44] let me go ahead and get a summer dog day is it's hot as shit
[00:33:49] you go to like four days you go up on your roof you look through that fucking
[00:33:53] scope and you convince yourself that you're in a Levant
[00:33:56] yeah that's what you do you take how did it get such a gay name
[00:34:00] the Levant such a gay french name i don't know they let the Italians name it
[00:34:03] they let the monoradi factory sponsor no it's probably the french
[00:34:07] what the french the french had a much better the french had syrian
[00:34:11] well for a while french was like english everyone had to speak french
[00:34:15] yeah and we really fuck their africa still does yeah those monor fuckers love
[00:34:20] speaking french molly yeah they love it they are so happy the historical
[00:34:24] reasons that they all speak french don't they go to last year leon
[00:34:30] that country uh liberia was started by american freed slaves right right
[00:34:35] monrovia i thought monrovia was now as liberia that's why it's a
[00:34:41] divided they speak do they speak english there they it doesn't sound like
[00:34:46] english yeah but their names are all like robert
[00:34:48] toms and yeah yeah because it's like from like this
[00:34:51] 18-somethings uh all those names are from like you know
[00:34:55] yeah well they're all have like 50 white guy names what is the guy's name charl
[00:34:58] something the like dictator good luck jonathan no no that's not
[00:35:03] such a good name dude it was good luck jonathan even a bad guy
[00:35:06] yeah he was a bad i think so i thought he was like
[00:35:09] he looked like hell older he never gave power away i think is he still in power
[00:35:13] who you might good luck jonathan well wait till you
[00:35:16] good fuck stop jonathan that's that guy oh that's a good take
[00:35:20] folks but like bad luck jonathan damn your scope is coming for everyone
[00:35:26] today good luck jonathan bad luck jonathan
[00:35:29] your retarded brain nice got him beach ass good night
[00:35:33] beach ass hello i am a good local jonathan and i am here to say
[00:35:37] adam is gay yeah okay goodbye now people ask me
[00:35:41] good luck jonathan where did you get your name good luck
[00:35:45] and the answer is 40 years ago i slept with a woman without her consent
[00:35:56] everyone in ijames name could like frank he's good like billy
[00:36:01] to this i say i must have pretty good luck
[00:36:04] one of my friends laughed and they said for now on your name will be raper's
[00:36:08] job i said but please i have to get the job
[00:36:12] they say okay we will call you good luck jonathan
[00:36:22] take that good luck jonathan yeah this is that other the other Nigerian guy
[00:36:27] tokyo sex walleye whoa who's that oh yeah there's
[00:36:30] some african politician named tokyo sex walleye
[00:36:34] is on fucking believable that rules so much yeah
[00:36:39] damn tokyo sex walleye you get your name and
[00:36:45] 40 years ago i went to japan and i had six with a way without her consent
[00:37:05] have you ever watched nigerian sand up no nigerians are cool as shit pretty
[00:37:09] funny oh they really are yeah they're fudge
[00:37:12] jurians love college too at the umbc it was all nigerians yeah
[00:37:16] nigerians are fun loving people they love they they're they're fucking shitty to
[00:37:19] do business with yeah why i've a lot of emails though though like uh just
[00:37:25] you know you'd be like all right so i'll do a job for $20 and i'll just hand
[00:37:29] you 15 at the end and then you're like what is this based on based on
[00:37:34] numerous jobs i've done for nigerians when i've done like in salt contract
[00:37:39] killing days yeah contract killing not selling phones to them and shit
[00:37:44] yeah uh 15 yeah i mean every every type of race has
[00:37:49] their own way of bargaining but the nigerians way is just like
[00:37:53] playing dumb i guess that's cool yeah they're like oh i thought jusinde was
[00:37:58] 15 it's like motherfucker you know it's not 15
[00:38:00] you know it's $20 you can argue with me if you want
[00:38:03] i'm not gonna cut you a heel jus wasting everybody's time
[00:38:07] for what like a brats cell phone case yeah for a brats cell phone
[00:38:11] dude i would get so horny when i saw the brats to do you think the brats were
[00:38:15] hot oh yeah baby i got hearted those big ass
[00:38:18] how is it bro i used to get so work on getting
[00:38:22] fucking hard dude so i can imagine a pepper hands perfect body
[00:38:26] head of jack skelling the brat's where i kind of like
[00:38:30] pepper and pepper she's too gay for seventh grade she's too
[00:38:34] ugly too good now okay oh god damn pull up yeah we've done plenty of
[00:38:43] brother that genre of humor but i wasn't given that i wasn't
[00:38:48] good way to go with that song i did fuck with pepper and though
[00:38:53] pepper and re-says i watch that show every day after school
[00:38:56] pepper and was annoying as shit dude you i i like to i like the black
[00:38:59] stronger body the no yeah it's more fucking just
[00:39:03] more pronounced pecs than you i'm kind of like pepper and she's gonna beat me
[00:39:08] up she needed to settle down and listen to
[00:39:12] to the adults in the room i don't know i don't i think you're a
[00:39:15] recess ruled also misogynist yeah you are good
[00:39:19] you are recess was good because it was a society i loved that dude i had dreams
[00:39:23] of beat living in that society dude i wanted to be a member of something
[00:39:28] of beat yeah of the television game of yes of
[00:39:31] i like being the the fact kid who's like shrewd
[00:39:34] the main character i guess who's the fact that they're fat my character
[00:39:38] no not the blonde one the main guy had like a backwards cap and a
[00:39:42] bomber jacket uh no what's in his name no his name was uh
[00:39:46] jt or something or jt j yeah probably is it tj
[00:39:51] yes was because the girl his dad was a molester biker
[00:39:56] what i don't know if he actually molested her but i always assumed that was
[00:40:00] part of the story i want it yeah i wanted sucoli to be my queen
[00:40:04] wait what's this bacolie from another show wasn't that a character
[00:40:07] no it was fast times of rage mond holly oh yeah
[00:40:12] been Ellie yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah good call good call
[00:40:15] yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i
[00:40:16] want it's been Ellie to be my girl dude yeah she was hot with the beanie and
[00:40:19] the leather jacket yeah she was a little tomboy
[00:40:21] yes the black kid's name uh the market's
[00:40:24] oh yes thanks molly do you remember the black kid's club
[00:40:34] nobody gave a shit about the bk no i don't i actually don't even i barely
[00:40:38] remember the bk kids i only remember because we talked about and then i
[00:40:41] googled it yeah right i mean i remember seeing
[00:40:43] needles we've talked about wheels seeing it as as a
[00:40:45] fucking adult yeah but it's like i didn't go to burger king that often that was
[00:40:50] like such a fucking Burger King suck dick yeah it does
[00:40:54] were you a Burger King kid no i wasn't what was your fast food of choice of the
[00:40:58] child bill dude taco bell shit dude remember before
[00:41:02] Gidget the dog they had the cartoon dog and cat i do not
[00:41:06] taco bell that's a throwback though refad campaign i do not remember that
[00:41:09] they had an animated dog and cat and uh you know and the the
[00:41:15] commercials would end with the like boom like the fucking well
[00:41:18] red rubber and that boom yeah it was a dog and cat no i don't remember
[00:41:23] yeah i never fuck with taco bell i i hadn't i didn't have a i didn't have a
[00:41:26] taco until i was in like high school yeah what we didn't have
[00:41:31] that's where he got you didn't eat a taco no dude all the food the only
[00:41:35] exotic food i had was chinese food gyros of course
[00:41:38] Greek food it was all Greek food and pizza i did not have a fucking taco i
[00:41:42] didn't have sushi till i was in college dude you're so un-refined
[00:41:46] i did later in life i became worldly you discussed this
[00:41:51] never that career now the now Asian food is my number one
[00:41:54] dinner when i was a little kid your father's penis
[00:42:10] that's the last come down's over yo it would almost be worth it
[00:42:26] i'm going to anti-apression therapy with my father shut up out
[00:42:29] i'm enjoying this too much now it was uh baked beans with little pieces of hot
[00:42:33] dog in it oh that's the white trash that's the
[00:42:35] hobo specialty all right that's just great that's the
[00:42:39] shit that's really when when people are fucking over over a trash can warming
[00:42:43] their hands they're warming up beans with little hot dogs in them
[00:42:46] dude baked beans are some of the best goddamn things on this
[00:42:49] hey man i'm just saying i tell you i tell you get a little piece of land
[00:42:53] some baked beans a little piece of pussy pie
[00:42:55] suck on here and then you know that's fresh with your fries
[00:43:01] maybe take a little dip in the old noodle
[00:43:14] oh daddy's full of beans and he's ready to fuck
[00:43:18] hey no room for beans and come in my body girl
[00:43:25] all the beans are pushing out the gas and cum
[00:43:30] fuck your balls just get bigger and bigger the more
[00:43:41] bees you eat just the idea of like a like a fucking like
[00:43:44] middle-aged guy just farting it with a boater
[00:43:48] full of bees daddy's full of bees he's ready to fuck
[00:43:54] oh these poor middle-aged women that have to fuck those middle-aged guys i mean i
[00:43:58] took a bike ride through south bro i i have not spent much time in south
[00:44:02] brokle you know i kind of just operate north of
[00:44:04] wherever it's closed you're always headed sort of in the direction of man
[00:44:07] where in south brokle and i'll get to that
[00:44:10] so the point is is i took a bike ride down
[00:44:13] tompkins till it ends so i forget what that turns into i think like brokle and
[00:44:17] avenue maybe and uh yeah it takes you down to like empire
[00:44:23] or something so just like whatever empire whatever's east of bay ridge is
[00:44:28] where i went oh damn okay and then i went over to the
[00:44:30] verinzano yeah you're darlin down there yeah yeah
[00:44:34] so i lived down that whole area Bensonhurst the his seeds just continue from
[00:44:38] south williams yep all the way through really yeah if you go down
[00:44:41] ocean all the way to like coney island gratin beach it's all
[00:44:46] juice yeah yeah it's disgusting and it's like they really are
[00:44:49] time to get the flame thrower out yeah it really is no well
[00:44:54] in pernicious disease in uh affected my beautiful hometown of brokle and
[00:45:00] gratin that's really where that's like the sad
[00:45:02] cossets down there like they couldn't make it in
[00:45:05] dubsburg graves end and shit i mean that just sounds like a place you
[00:45:09] gonna die um best best my one of my favorite
[00:45:14] piece of places rather lmb spomoni gardens
[00:45:17] spomoni the girl from recess no yeah that's what it is
[00:45:22] have you had lmb spomoni gardens no i have oh is that the shit you said you were
[00:45:26] gonna get us and you didn't get us went you said i'm going oh yeah you know
[00:45:29] what you did you did get us but it was all fucking cold and shitty which is like
[00:45:33] regardless how oh yeah that's right i got you a fucking half pine you guys
[00:45:37] like i brought it back and you guys were shitting on me because it was cold
[00:45:41] it was frozen it's only good when it's fucking fresh all right we'll go down
[00:45:44] the world bike down there it's food it has it it literally has a shelf life
[00:45:48] it's really nice to yeah it was like three days afterwards
[00:45:51] it's really nice to bike down a brighten go to the beach for a bit and then on
[00:45:56] the way back get lmb spomoni gardens i think the owner just got
[00:46:01] uh murdered in like a mafia oh that's how you know it's a good
[00:46:04] pizza place that's how you know yeah that's how you know it's good
[00:46:07] um yeah the owner definitely just got murdered got yeah what do you do
[00:46:12] i don't know he he was in a murder but it's very good
[00:46:18] it's a neapolitan i'm like no but it's a square style
[00:46:21] i'm not going to be two months left more of
[00:46:24] of dieting then and then and then i can and then i can start having cheat
[00:46:29] days or whatever the fuck let's say the kbq or you can eat so long pro oh yeah
[00:46:34] no i actually you know what i had a slice of pizza because it like really
[00:46:37] even fits my calories my macros like i can eat it so i can you tell what a
[00:46:41] slice of pizzas calorically um a slice of pizza is roughly like
[00:46:46] fucking 250 calories to 300 calories well man's got my fitness pal
[00:46:51] yeah i mean tell you can use my fitness pal but also i know from like
[00:46:55] working a pizza restaurant yeah you forget talking to a pizza man
[00:46:58] yeah oh i forgot yeah he can look at your calories he can eyeball it
[00:47:01] yeah i mean like yeah like because i had i had i had like half of that pizza that
[00:47:06] i ordered for when we did that shoot oh true true oh yeah i didn't mean
[00:47:10] got back when we got a needle day so i could just eat that now like i
[00:47:14] blew my like macro portions out of control i mean i was very happy that
[00:47:18] day way too much calorically well i was also doing cocaine
[00:47:21] yeah yeah no but you kept saying like i'm so happy i'm productive i'm just
[00:47:26] gonna have a slice of pizza well i had like four he didn't say that
[00:47:30] he didn't keep it no i do later on that night no when you guys were you get
[00:47:33] in when things were wrapped up and finished i felt good
[00:47:36] oh yeah you know that was fun yeah the next thing we're going to do is
[00:47:41] shoot that VR porn we said what i what i want to do is i want to get a drone
[00:47:47] right i would love with two stereoscopic 360 degree cameras
[00:47:52] you know well fly it around the neighborhood and then watch a video on
[00:47:55] the PlayStation VR that sounds pretty cool and it would be like i'm flying
[00:47:58] around my neighborhood that is cool maybe put a couple guns couple bombs
[00:48:02] a couple of sniper that sniper rifle that sounds fun yeah
[00:48:08] kill your enemies i love to kill my enemies if you could get away with
[00:48:12] murder and with someone in this neighborhood who would it be
[00:48:15] um adam hey yeah he doesn't live here now we're
[00:48:19] neighborhood we're neighbors if i could kill someone in the neighborhood
[00:48:23] yeah yes nick you can't you can't sorry bitch why
[00:48:27] because i already killed you yep you're dead you didn't kill me
[00:48:31] the guns the trigger is too much for your finger for your finger
[00:48:34] well i wouldn't use you would try and set up a simple machine a pulley
[00:48:38] obviously i i'd hire a couple uh you know what
[00:48:42] a couple of guys what kind of guys what kind of fellows a couple of the fellows
[00:48:46] yeah who are we gonna blame it on gun gun guys you know
[00:48:51] watching planet earth two i i think i'm done with the planet earth shit why
[00:48:56] dude i don't know i've seen enough animals i like i mean
[00:48:59] it's fucking hack but getting stoned as hell and watching planet earth is
[00:49:03] incredible it's a good idea to get stoned and watch
[00:49:05] this what what this fucking looks on this tv
[00:49:09] yeah watch it also yeah i just love getting
[00:49:12] fucking stoned shit with my boys watching a couple girls get
[00:49:15] fucked in the ass no no no vaginal shit yeah that's a weird part of
[00:49:19] i ain't trying to see nerf fucking female pleasure i might rewatch baby driver
[00:49:23] again get high enough that i can't remember anything from seeing it before
[00:49:27] i'd be down i feel like if i buy the blue rays i have to watch them at least
[00:49:31] four times to justify i get what you're saying i rewatched the
[00:49:34] pennant state this morning let's watch it wednesday i got i got a spot after
[00:49:37] this but i'd watch baby driver wednesday a weird part of
[00:49:40] early adolescence is when your friends call you over
[00:49:43] and they say i got porn and then like like six boys look at your hands down
[00:49:48] and they know that's open your mouth wide when they put two cocks in it at once
[00:49:54] and then your like friends has sex with his mouth
[00:49:58] and they're like adam give us that throat pussy
[00:50:07] and then you're like psych i love it and then at the end you're like thanks
[00:50:10] boys that's exactly as i as the email said thank you for following my
[00:50:14] directions i remember there was this mormon kid
[00:50:17] down the block from me and he called me up one day and he was like
[00:50:20] come over and see this baby what and i was like what i don't want to go over
[00:50:25] and see that he's like you got oh my parents i went over and it was a
[00:50:31] poster of a woman with her legs spread open and her fingers spreading her
[00:50:35] pussy lips open and he's like check out this baby
[00:50:40] was that did he mean the woman's pussy or was there a baby coming out of her
[00:50:43] pussy it was like he was trying to use the code black woman's
[00:50:46] 80s haircut i kind of look like fantasia yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah she's a
[00:50:51] literate yeah yeah yeah she can't read much like myself
[00:50:55] uh fantasia's good though she's a good singer
[00:50:58] i think it's just like i think i just need to shower i think my hair is just uh
[00:51:02] maybe i'm due for a haircut i'm thinking about shaving my head completely
[00:51:05] oh fuck oh that's cool girl chrome dome
[00:51:09] chrome dome once i once i'm sub 10 body fat i'll do that i can't do that because
[00:51:13] i have this massive mole on top yeah you said
[00:51:16] that's not you look stupid shit too i would look dumb i don't have a strong
[00:51:20] head yeah only true outfit with ball hair i don't
[00:51:24] know either you should do it i got squeezed into a dumb shape by his mom's
[00:51:27] pussy oh yeah that's not true i was cesarean it's because your dad's tiny
[00:51:31] penis never stress her i was a cesarean section
[00:51:36] yep that's it yeah our dad's big ass dick
[00:51:41] widened our mom's pussy's bitch our dad's have huge dicks yeah they fucked our
[00:51:53] shit i could come out of my dad my mom's ass
[00:51:56] you're so fucking loose i had the choice because my dad's massive
[00:52:01] yeah your mom's tight ass cozy i do appreciate you guys admitting that my
[00:52:05] mom does have a perfect pussy and your mom's have destroyed pussy
[00:52:15] that's a crazy thing for guys to argue about whose mom has a nicer
[00:52:18] pussy yeah it's like pretty normal to argue about whose dad is stronger as
[00:52:22] bigger day it's not normal who's dad has a big
[00:52:25] really what the fuck are you talking about yeah
[00:52:35] Adam and his sister used to argue about who which whether their dad or their
[00:52:39] mom had the smaller genitals you didn't fight about it
[00:52:45] what are you two arguing about well we're arguing again about whether
[00:52:50] normal for you has the trinean penis over john i'm like go to your room
[00:52:56] on now that's all right so i'm gonna go yes it is what you sound like right now
[00:53:01] wait i thought this one is dad sounded like god bless us everyone
[00:53:08] oh fuck dude i love just getting around the fucking lunch table with my boys
[00:53:15] playing paper football and whenever i missed a field goal my friends would
[00:53:19] be like that's why your dad has a smaller dicked in my dad you fucking
[00:53:22] asshole my dad is the biggest day my dad came on on job day to the school
[00:53:27] and he's unemployed but he showed everyone his dick
[00:53:31] that's cool and now they cancel gym they're not allowed to have gym anymore
[00:53:40] my dick got my dad got his dick stuck in the basketball hoop
[00:53:43] boys i'm trying to get the blade runner 4k blue ray disc
[00:53:48] oh no luck was bad not the new one the original
[00:53:51] i know i know the new one was weird it's like
[00:53:53] who was supposed to be will ferals character you know
[00:53:57] who's supposed to be what pulling dynamites isn't it a sequel
[00:54:01] to blade runner so yeah two blades of glory oh thank you
[00:54:07] um no i did not see it i want to see it though
[00:54:13] it's a sequel to weird alliank of it's running with scissors
[00:54:19] the real blade runner that's good um you couldn't you can't find it
[00:54:25] yeah i get like on amazon it it does that see all buying options thing
[00:54:30] and you know you go it's like hong kong chinese video right
[00:54:34] right right whatever you know it's like i don't steal your money dot org yeah
[00:54:37] right fuck it like fucking chinese people
[00:54:41] chinese people are always trying to scam on the internet they are scammers
[00:54:45] you know god bless him i'd say that yeah no blade runner i want to find but
[00:54:50] it's out now right the 4k it's been out for a month
[00:54:53] okay but it just sold out immediately yeah i guess yeah yeah that's the thing
[00:54:58] that the 4k guys would love yeah people with 4k definitely love
[00:55:01] oh that's that's like the only like one of the that's like the first movie that
[00:55:04] i'm like excited to actually watch on this tv right right i mean look at all
[00:55:08] the other bullshit that i fucking bought john wick i've seen a million times
[00:55:12] yeah it looks cool i mean mad max looks better than anything else and mad max
[00:55:15] was like not even shot in 4k yeah mad max looks good as hell have we
[00:55:19] mentioned this before you've been to that museum in Astoria the
[00:55:23] moving image museum i have not been they have the original like set from
[00:55:27] blade runner oh like yeah yeah it's pretty sick i got to go there i live
[00:55:31] maybe it's in long island city it's very close to me i think it's an
[00:55:34] Astoria it's very close to me it's in that part of a story that people call
[00:55:37] long island city yeah yeah but it's not yeah yeah it's a pretty cool place i've
[00:55:41] only been there once um how about uh hog island city
[00:55:47] bong island bong island city is it strong island bong
[00:55:56] when's the last time you smoked bong i have a bong just sitting on my fucking
[00:56:00] end table right now you smoke it i haven't it's been a month maybe i don't
[00:56:03] especially i bring the ball i like i like once a week i'll take one hit of
[00:56:07] like resin and i get comfortably high yeah you know because you're a damn
[00:56:12] lightweight bitch i've ever said just don't like getting like really high
[00:56:15] i like getting high enough that i can think of dumb shit that makes me laugh
[00:56:19] yeah you know i like can get us you know out of this bullshit podcasting
[00:56:24] you can sell a tv show based on things like andres stake house and
[00:56:28] rudenigga sundar with wrapping in the in 12 year old well done my classic
[00:56:35] sketches that i worked it in written for to you work to save us to bring us to
[00:56:47] yeah twilight zone wherever the episode ends with the guys pants falling down
[00:56:53] that's good yeah that's a good bit that is legs it's pretty good
[00:56:57] get one steam on the line for a second to different world where time
[00:57:01] stood still and a man's pants got caught in an escalator and were ripped off
[00:57:06] and everyone saw us penis is this our world or is it the twilight zone
[00:57:12] do do do do do do do do so like my penis my leg is big
[00:57:16] honey hurry up we're gonna be late for the white power meter
[00:57:25] i'm sorry john we're going to have to let you go since everyone's seen your
[00:57:29] penis but it's not fair it was just one time
[00:57:35] the escalator did it i didn't even i didn't even expose my penis to everybody
[00:57:41] i'm sorry but we can't have penis exposures in our church
[00:57:46] but i go to this church every week i've given you hundreds of dollars
[00:57:50] that's like millions of dollars in normal money
[00:57:54] in today's money in in the future you know you scale it up
[00:58:00] well mr i'd really love to say you this car but uh
[00:58:04] we heard about the penis so it looks like it's going to be the bus for you
[00:58:10] we always ride the penis bus when he goes on a bus for oh and we've seen
[00:58:14] everyone's dick uh that's now that's a turn you know what i guess this is just
[00:58:19] who i am now jimmy's doing i'm a penis showing man he grows his hair out
[00:58:24] it becomes a hippie that's good my wife can't and then he's in color
[00:58:28] and that's the plot of plesonville yep right it basically literally yes
[00:58:33] yeah i think when you come you come into color you come
[00:58:37] you beat all when you come what was the premise of that the only black
[00:58:40] emotions yeah yeah yeah yeah all the black people were in color
[00:58:50] yeah i think it's like once you felt an emotion
[00:58:52] yeah yeah what you got in the color you went color
[00:58:55] hmm yeah right didn't wasn't there seen where like the mom beats off
[00:58:59] the mom jerks off or something yeah with the she goes that's just where
[00:59:03] gray makeup i think i beat off into that movie too
[00:59:06] plesonville mm-hmm who's the daughter who's a daughter in that
[00:59:10] Reese Witherspoon Reese what's up Reese and Toby Maguire
[00:59:14] legally blonde uh making me legally hard i used to hate her and legally
[00:59:20] what yeah what's this bitch named after candy
[00:59:25] we got what do we got here bitch named after candy
[00:59:28] shit that's good Reese Reese's nice thanks what's
[00:59:34] spoon kind of you eat with it yeah right it's not
[00:59:37] Withers yes she's really close to candy and food in general
[00:59:45] hmm it's true yep who else uh people with candy names
[00:59:50] man anymore it's kind of like candy anymore you know uh
[00:59:59] baby Ruth yeah baby baby Ruth that's for babies that i don't need that
[01:00:04] shit i leave it's not it's for adults that's what my ass is
[01:00:08] worth yep 100 grams that's what i got on me at all times
[01:00:12] yeah i got 100 grand worth of fucking david buster's token
[01:00:15] guy you got to keep a thousand dollars on you at all times
[01:00:19] yeah they're trying to kick you out of this country
[01:00:21] just in case you got to always have one i could never pull off a bribe
[01:00:25] i would get too nervous you go to a freaking jail i would never try to bribe
[01:00:29] my friends my friends dad like if you know how to do it this uh
[01:00:33] public school teacher at filly and he kind of like got like was like
[01:00:37] done with it all and he was like i'm moving to mexico
[01:00:39] he like told his whole family he's moving to mexico he packed up his uh
[01:00:43] pick packed up his fucking gmc jimmy oh the jimmy was tight and he got to the
[01:00:48] border and then at the border actually jimmy's was a giver gay
[01:00:52] i take that back all right either at the border
[01:00:55] yeah they weren't that good they're a shitty shidi s uv my friend jimmy
[01:00:58] gets to the border and uh he's like uh they're like i'm sorry
[01:01:03] señor like uh your car is too shitty for mexico
[01:01:08] and uh clearly they were just asking for a bribe
[01:01:12] and he was too offended by the whole situation
[01:01:16] he loved his jimmy too much that he just turned around and moved to flor
[01:01:19] really yeah that's pretty funny yeah yeah
[01:01:22] i mean it was like uh it's really i think beautiful kind of
[01:01:27] like lyrical kind of story like that that old man with a shidi s car
[01:01:32] yep your car is too shitty for mexico sir it is very lyrical
[01:01:37] yeah it reminds me of ushers let it burn you
[01:01:40] that you got it you got it bad when you did
[01:01:44] isn't that what just had been her sung to usher in that parking lot
[01:01:47] when he was a little boy they got him signed yeah
[01:01:50] man imagine that i think so being exploited as a little boy in a parking
[01:01:54] lot about your parents um yeah with your
[01:01:58] dad and it turns out good yeah you know yeah
[01:02:02] justice is doing great justice is doing and i'd be probably wasn't molested
[01:02:06] like most young like most child stars i think probably have to
[01:02:09] suck off some old jew it's true but because it was usher
[01:02:13] a guy who fucks fat women he gives them herpes allegedly
[01:02:17] instead of fucking boys he kind of lucked out
[01:02:21] you know uh yeah all the boy bands they fucked that one guy
[01:02:26] lu perlman yeah i don't know if you fucked them all i think he picked one and
[01:02:30] fuck i just think he ruined their money no no no he definitely fucked them just
[01:02:33] stole from he 100 fuck them allegedly lu perlman
[01:02:37] yeah someone fucked them maybe some fat bald guy fucked them
[01:02:42] wasn't me shut up yeah yeah what it wasn't me
[01:02:47] oh you fuck before you say before you say i did it
[01:02:51] i don't want to fuck young boys i'm worried i'm i'm gonna be late to best
[01:02:54] spy to pick up my my movie set up well we should stop the episode dude no
[01:02:58] we still got to do another my i got my apple watch
[01:03:01] tm set to buzz my fucking arm when we're done recording okay
[01:03:05] i'm gonna need one more bit to round this one out
[01:03:08] okay there's a lot of people who are mad about the lack of bits
[01:03:11] no fuck them dude we got good old bits dude people like the last
[01:03:14] up to know who cared you fuck them yeah they said you were bad
[01:03:20] yep and they wrote letters to your parents because i gave them i said you
[01:03:23] got a complaint that's not appropriate it's one two three
[01:03:32] all right let's okay so all right let's get let's get limber let's loosen up
[01:03:37] let's let's get let's do like a classic there is do like a classic
[01:03:41] hometown okay what do i call you gay repeat something that i've said
[01:03:45] call you gay okay so it's the twilight zone
[01:03:52] oh that's good that's pretty good how about this we just end the episode by
[01:03:56] telling people to check out the shane vader video where bane is asking
[01:04:00] that's pretty good doing dan nine and bits yeah yeah that's great that's
[01:04:04] hilarious should we shout out to shane they're they're
[01:04:07] really good filmmaker um yeah what else is that the correct pronoun i know i've
[01:04:12] misgendered shane on the show i think shanish she actually and she made a
[01:04:16] big stink about it to adam she didn't make it to me oh yeah
[01:04:20] she made a shirt that said i'm trans and i listened to come and i know for real
[01:04:24] let's get this said you alienated our only trans fan first of all we got
[01:04:28] 400 which we call the force field most of our fans are
[01:04:34] shield the shield is for decision it's true it's our beautiful trans man
[01:04:39] it's new to come to us you got to go through about four yeah right
[01:04:43] instead we have a whole army of those you know there's like british
[01:04:47] buckingham palace guards yep it's true trans version of them they can't
[01:04:51] talk we have it no it's it's like 300 palace
[01:04:57] we got a leonidas trans we got there and they're all jacked
[01:05:01] yeah i bet you we got yeah there's got to be we got a steve harvey one
[01:05:05] oh that'd be pretty cool is it a woman that becomes steve harvey
[01:05:10] um no yeah i would i would love a version of steve harvey that's trans
[01:05:14] but they're it's like something that's happened to them and they're incredulous
[01:05:18] about it they're like y'all i can't even believe this
[01:05:25] identifies my pronouns as she lord what am i thinking but and that's steve
[01:05:33] i said the muzzle of steve's done chop the dick off