[00:00:00] We are gathered here today to remember our friend, our colleague.

[00:00:09] He made us laugh.

[00:00:11] He made us cry.

[00:00:13] But now he's gone.

[00:00:15] And this is what our podcast is now.

[00:00:18] Are you talking about the guy from the terrorist attack yesterday?

[00:00:22] Yes.

[00:00:23] RIP.

[00:00:24] I'm talking about Nick.

[00:00:26] Oh, is Nick dead?

[00:00:28] He did the terrorist attack yesterday.

[00:00:30] It's a spooky episode.

[00:00:33] Halloween's over.

[00:00:34] Yeah.

[00:00:35] And Christmas has just started.

[00:00:38] Right guys?

[00:00:39] How many news yesterday?

[00:00:40] Just when's Hanukkah?

[00:00:41] Is that one of those sneaky early Hanukkahs this year?

[00:00:44] I don't know what it is.

[00:00:46] Last year it was on the same day as Christmas, which I thought was disrespectful.

[00:00:51] I thought it was disrespectful too.

[00:00:52] How are you going to mock?

[00:00:53] That's like O.J.'s birthday being on Nicole Brown Simpson's birthday.

[00:00:57] I believe they have the same birthday.

[00:00:59] That's like O.J. throwing a big party when it was Nicole's birthday.

[00:01:04] Like the first year after she died.

[00:01:05] Exactly, yes.

[00:01:06] Like having a birthday party.

[00:01:08] Exactly.

[00:01:09] Having a celebration.

[00:01:10] For Ron Goldman.

[00:01:12] Oh, how dare the fucking Jews.

[00:01:15] I was watching that Chris Rock bit the other day.

[00:01:19] Which one?

[00:01:20] About O.J. and he's like, if some guy was riding around in my car with my wife.

[00:01:27] That was a...

[00:01:32] You couldn't do that Joe.

[00:01:33] Chris Rock does have some bits that are funny and shit but he would be definitely...

[00:01:40] Like today he would get tumbler big time.

[00:01:44] Oh yeah.

[00:01:45] Well, now it's moved on from speech and it's inappropriate touching.

[00:01:49] Which I feel like should have happened before.

[00:01:51] Before?

[00:01:52] Right.

[00:01:53] We kind of scaled it.

[00:01:54] Like all this Daniel Tash bullshit that happened and it's like and another thing.

[00:01:57] Harvey Weinstein raped 40 people.

[00:01:59] It's like okay, well maybe I wouldn't have had to have a culture war for the last four

[00:02:05] years.

[00:02:06] If you started with the rapists and then went after people.

[00:02:10] I mean I still wouldn't be on board with going after fucking jokes.

[00:02:12] It seems like the priorities are a little...

[00:02:15] But you might have been tuckered out after going after the rapists.

[00:02:18] Listen.

[00:02:19] I wouldn't have defended the rapists.

[00:02:20] No, no, no, no.

[00:02:21] I mean they, the culture like the SJW, maybe they would have been a little tuckered out

[00:02:25] and maybe left us less due jokes.

[00:02:27] Yeah.

[00:02:28] So, my kids you guys haven't been paying attention or reading my newsletter that I send out.

[00:02:34] I will be leaving the show permanently to be replaced by Jamie Kilstein.

[00:02:40] Yeah.

[00:02:41] It was offered me a buyout actually.

[00:02:44] Really?

[00:02:45] He spent me $50,000.

[00:02:46] I don't really think you should agree to this Nick.

[00:02:50] Yeah man.

[00:02:51] I don't know if this is a good idea.

[00:02:52] Can we veto?

[00:02:53] No.

[00:02:54] Please?

[00:02:55] You're going to make us hang out with that guy.

[00:02:56] I'm not going to make you do shit.

[00:02:57] You're free to sell your positions to whoever you want.

[00:03:00] All right, I'm going to sell to Lindy West.

[00:03:02] Do you have a damn I was going to say that.

[00:03:05] Lindy's not bad now.

[00:03:07] Is it going to be funny?

[00:03:09] Because I called the Kilstein thing.

[00:03:11] Right.

[00:03:12] I think months ago.

[00:03:13] He's going to have some kind of medical issue, right?

[00:03:16] And then she's going to get fucking lap band surgery and lose like 300 pounds.

[00:03:20] Oh shit.

[00:03:21] And she's going to be in there.

[00:03:22] Her very saggy back on the fat community.

[00:03:30] That's the next one.

[00:03:31] Should I get lap band?

[00:03:33] Are you fat enough?

[00:03:34] Don't you have to be a certain amount of?

[00:03:36] You become plenty fat.

[00:03:37] Now if you went to the doctor they'd be like yeah but you're fucking bald and your teeth

[00:03:41] are fucked up.

[00:03:42] Really?

[00:03:43] Is that how that works?

[00:03:44] Yeah.

[00:03:45] If you're not going to be sexy then only you get lap bands surgery?

[00:03:47] The doctor's like you will never be the threat.

[00:03:50] But I'm like doc don't I have a like a thing going for me wouldn't you say?

[00:03:55] Yeah.

[00:03:56] I mean what would you think you could get plugs?

[00:03:58] You could get porcelains and ears.

[00:04:00] Dude I'm going to get a bag and fix my teeth Cardi B style soon dude.

[00:04:04] Oh yeah.

[00:04:05] That's not like I mean that's like a medical necessity.

[00:04:08] This isn't like a cosmetic thing.

[00:04:10] You have like a.

[00:04:11] No it's cosmetic.

[00:04:12] This is a this is a.

[00:04:13] Is it alive or is it dead?

[00:04:15] No it's a fucking.

[00:04:16] Your tooth is rotting out of your fucking hand.

[00:04:17] No you motherfuckers.

[00:04:18] It's a root canal.

[00:04:19] It's just I got it done by some guy for thirty dollars in in golden ring mall the golden

[00:04:24] ring mall.

[00:04:25] I don't know what it is.

[00:04:26] It's a parking lot across from a shitty mall.

[00:04:28] There's some dentist my mom knows that just does if you go there and you wait all day

[00:04:33] he'll fit you in between like paying customers and you just get like the shitty in between

[00:04:39] like I was there for eight hours and he fixed my $30 barely covers like the toothpaste

[00:04:44] to the I know but that's what that's what he paid.

[00:04:46] That's what he would it cost.

[00:04:47] It was wild.

[00:04:48] Yeah so it looks like shit but it was either that or the guy on the upper west side went

[00:04:53] to quote me $8,000 to get a total fucking implant and there's a world in between like

[00:05:00] a dentist that operates out of like an old renaissance or the dentist of the upper west

[00:05:06] side.

[00:05:07] I know but those are the only two I went to go to dental school you know scared for students

[00:05:12] dude they don't know what the fuck they're doing.

[00:05:14] No you just got to call them and then I'll let you boy you think so yeah they're malenied

[00:05:18] you're doing great you need to give them a participation trophy.

[00:05:22] Oh shit okay.

[00:05:23] No millennials anymore millennials aren't in college anymore.

[00:05:25] Yeah we're all what are they generation Z.

[00:05:27] Think about those kids we hired to shoot that stupid video.

[00:05:30] They're not millennials.

[00:05:31] I mean they're they're millennials but at the low end like look at the fucking I don't

[00:05:36] have anything in common with them.

[00:05:38] Yeah I mean they're cool.

[00:05:40] Different language.

[00:05:41] I mean they were in Chinese.

[00:05:42] Yeah they were Chinese.

[00:05:43] We hired a bunch of Chinese people.

[00:05:45] Fish heads out of the garbage yeah classic millennials.

[00:05:49] Chinese millennial.

[00:05:50] JP told me a fucking hilarious story about being in an open mic and there was some X NYPD guy

[00:05:56] going up.

[00:05:57] Oh yeah.

[00:05:58] He was like yeah I was a 9-11 first responder and he thought he would get applause but it's

[00:06:02] an open mic so no one's even paying attention.

[00:06:05] Immediately he goes you fucking millenniums are a bunch of cell phone computer douchebags.

[00:06:11] Fuck yeah dude.

[00:06:16] I like working with JP.

[00:06:18] How much yeah JP loves that guy.

[00:06:20] Was she getting back on the pot sometime.

[00:06:22] That tall piece of shit.

[00:06:23] Yeah.

[00:06:24] Slap him around a little bit.

[00:06:25] He said it back to earth.

[00:06:27] He's a walking stick that guy.

[00:06:28] He's a walking stick.

[00:06:29] He's a big old boy.

[00:06:30] He's a walking lick.

[00:06:31] His coffee tastes like shit.

[00:06:33] What'd you make it?

[00:06:34] What did you brew yourself?

[00:06:35] I mean it's a curry.

[00:06:36] I thought you had a curry?

[00:06:39] I have a single cup curry that I have next to my bed.

[00:06:43] So you get a coffee immediately when he wakes up.

[00:06:46] Really?

[00:06:47] Yeah.

[00:06:48] Why don't you get an espresso instead dude.

[00:06:50] Them shit are cool.

[00:06:51] Those are expensive.

[00:06:52] Really?

[00:06:53] How much they cost?

[00:06:54] I don't know.

[00:06:55] Hundreds of dollars.

[00:06:56] You just bought a fucking cruising USA console basically to have in your house to play.

[00:07:01] Yeah.

[00:07:02] I mean that's like a game.

[00:07:03] It's not an addiction first thing in the morning.

[00:07:06] I mean it's a stupid toy that I get to feel dumb about spending the morning on.

[00:07:10] Yeah.

[00:07:11] But don't you drink that espresso feel good every night?

[00:07:13] I already did that with the Vitamix.

[00:07:14] I do one dumb purchase in each category.

[00:07:17] For life or when is it roll over again?

[00:07:19] I don't know when the podcast fails and I don't have money anymore.

[00:07:22] No every year, every year, wouldn't it happen every year?

[00:07:25] Don't you get a new dumb...

[00:07:26] Yeah, you need to write it off on your taxes.

[00:07:29] It's the fiscal year.

[00:07:30] Every fiscal year you get a new kitchen thing.

[00:07:33] Nah, I'm just going to have to fly a lot.

[00:07:36] You can really rack up the write-offs by just not knowing how to book shit through Expedia

[00:07:44] and having them select the next month for your return trip.

[00:07:48] Oh no.

[00:07:50] That happens to me literally every time I use fucking Expedia.

[00:07:53] Why bro?

[00:07:54] Well they have like their pick your first date and then it's like the 18th and then it's

[00:07:57] like and your return trip and you're like okay the 18th to the 21st but you have to like

[00:08:01] make sure that you go and hit back on the second calendar because it's just going to

[00:08:06] assume you're spending a month out of town.

[00:08:09] That's never happened to me once.

[00:08:11] It happens to me literally every single fucking time I use Expedia's website.

[00:08:15] I use Google Fights pretty good.

[00:08:18] Yeah always Southwest is the cheapest one.

[00:08:20] You track it, you see whatever and every time it goes.

[00:08:22] I just fly JetBlue exclusively.

[00:08:24] Southwest doesn't go to South Africa though.

[00:08:26] Oh shit, look at this one.

[00:08:28] Yeah I just booked big time.

[00:08:29] You see you see Africa.

[00:08:32] JetBlue is the best goddamn airline.

[00:08:34] You like the blue terra chips?

[00:08:36] Well first of all they let you just fucking take shit out of like that you can go into

[00:08:41] the fucking stewardess area and just take shit out of the fucking covers.

[00:08:44] That makes sense to me.

[00:08:46] Really?

[00:08:47] Yeah after they walk through it you're like do you want to drink sir?

[00:08:49] Do you want to snack?

[00:08:50] They're like our concessions area is now open and you can just fucking walk like go into

[00:08:55] those like astronaut cabinets and fucking pull out snacks and I just stood next to the

[00:09:00] bathroom just eating bag after bag of chips.

[00:09:02] No one said a fucking word to me.

[00:09:05] Yo are you the only guy abusing that shit?

[00:09:07] Of course and first of all it's not abusing.

[00:09:10] Like you pay a premium for that service.

[00:09:12] I suppose I would expect more fat people to be doing it but they're shame.

[00:09:16] Their first class is insane too.

[00:09:18] JetBlue first class?

[00:09:19] They have first class?

[00:09:20] Yeah I thought it was a budget carrier it was like all the con.

[00:09:22] No the spirit.

[00:09:23] No their first class is like it's one seat per row that reclines all the way back.

[00:09:29] They have the little like mesh screen have you ever seen those?

[00:09:32] Sometimes they have like a mosquito net looking.

[00:09:35] Oh yeah yeah and you just go right the fuck to sleep.

[00:09:37] They don't have one of those but I mean it is like it's like a full seat.

[00:09:40] Well yeah a full seat that goes all you lays completely flat.

[00:09:44] Oh god damn.

[00:09:45] There's two people and then one person so it's staggered so beautiful.

[00:09:50] Yeah and then also here's a hot tip you're flying JetBlue or any airline really.

[00:09:55] Never select your seats online.

[00:09:57] Go to do that.

[00:09:58] Go to the guy upgraded.

[00:10:00] Yeah you just fucking don't select a seat wait until everyone boards and then you say

[00:10:03] oh can I get a boarding pass?

[00:10:05] Because what happens is nobody buys those like economy plus seats because they're fucking

[00:10:09] scam and at the end they just have them left over.

[00:10:13] Yes you ask the guy to desk.

[00:10:14] Yeah I mean if you get if you select a regular seat you're completely fucking yourself over.

[00:10:19] I mean if you want to make sure you get a nice seat then maybe spend the money but

[00:10:23] like if you're not worried about that shit anyways just never do a seat selection.

[00:10:27] Yeah unless you have like you know some dumb bitch wife that you're traveling with.

[00:10:31] Yeah that's true.

[00:10:32] Some shit.

[00:10:33] Which I don't do because I'm always on business trips.

[00:10:35] You know what I mean?

[00:10:36] Yeah yeah.

[00:10:37] Having sex with the boy prosthetic.

[00:10:38] And also we all made a promise to each other that we would never get married ever and we'd

[00:10:42] be together forever.

[00:10:44] That's right.

[00:10:45] The three of us.

[00:10:46] The first.

[00:10:47] I remember that promise.

[00:10:48] Whoever gets married with the other two kill him and then the other two get married.

[00:10:53] And then the other two have to get married.

[00:10:55] Yeah that's true.

[00:10:57] So we're probably going to end up killing you Adam because you're a fucking emotional

[00:10:59] bitch.

[00:11:00] For sure I'm going to get married by accident and we're going to.

[00:11:05] I got a free tracksuit today.

[00:11:06] I'm very jealous the same one I have.

[00:11:09] Yeah it's a hundred fifty dollar tracksuit I got it.

[00:11:11] I got it.

[00:11:12] One hundred percent for free.

[00:11:14] The Adidas beckon Bauer.

[00:11:16] I'm finally sponsored folks.

[00:11:17] The moment we've all been waiting for is for me to not only get paid way too much to

[00:11:21] do the podcast but also to get things I like for free.

[00:11:26] We did it.

[00:11:27] I want to get free shit dude.

[00:11:29] Also somebody messaged me I guess a Robusto does indicate a size of cigar.

[00:11:33] It does?

[00:11:34] Yeah.

[00:11:35] They were telling me too I should get into high end watches but that's that's I don't

[00:11:40] watch it in time pieces.

[00:11:42] They have fucked that shit.

[00:11:43] Anybody else.

[00:11:44] It's like a watch.

[00:11:45] Yeah watch heads are fucking stupid.

[00:11:47] I want to get a nice watch.

[00:11:48] If you got too much money you got to spend your money on dumb shit.

[00:11:50] Electronic shit.

[00:11:51] Yeah.

[00:11:52] You know what I'm saying.

[00:11:53] You got to do whatever you can to make people who don't have the money not necessarily

[00:11:58] even really jealous of the money.

[00:12:00] Exactly.

[00:12:01] In my case I just buy sneakers my mom wouldn't let me get when I was a little kid.

[00:12:04] Yeah.

[00:12:05] You know I got a lot of errors.

[00:12:07] I got the up tempos and a couple different colors.

[00:12:10] I just bought some weird.

[00:12:12] I'm out of turn the air conditioner.

[00:12:14] Yeah I can't hear anything.

[00:12:16] I bought some suck on these suck on these.

[00:12:19] Saconis.

[00:12:20] Saconis suck on these.

[00:12:21] There used to be this wicker in a grave that used to call his saconis.

[00:12:26] I remember and I had him using the N word on the podcast.

[00:12:30] I can't believe you said that about that black guy you went to school.

[00:12:34] He was definitely white.

[00:12:36] He called him ponies.

[00:12:38] You were saying the N word but you you stuttered because there was a bit of calm in your mouth.

[00:12:43] Oh yeah that is true.

[00:12:45] Yeah he was trying to he's doing a thing where he makes a little bowl with his tongue and

[00:12:50] he holds common in all day and then he was trying to say the N word.

[00:12:54] It's a diet thing.

[00:12:55] Is it?

[00:12:56] You get the calories.

[00:12:57] You get two tablespoons of cum the whole day.

[00:12:59] Yeah but it's really hard to keep it like in a pool in your.

[00:13:03] Is it strengthening your tongue for eating guys asses later?

[00:13:06] No it doesn't necessarily strengthen it.

[00:13:08] It actually exhausts my tongue.

[00:13:09] Yeah I can't really talk by the end of the day.

[00:13:12] Interesting.

[00:13:13] Yeah.

[00:13:14] Well we should have done this podcast later then huh?

[00:13:17] Yeah.

[00:13:18] Well I'm just guys I gotta be honest with you I'm just focused on Major League Baseball

[00:13:24] right now.

[00:13:25] The only half year for yeah game seven it was probably going to start by the time we're

[00:13:29] done with the podcast.

[00:13:30] Yeah everyone will know what if it was happened.

[00:13:33] It'll be so funny.

[00:13:34] Everyone will know tomorrow.

[00:13:35] I will cry tonight from sports really for sure as a sport.

[00:13:41] Actually if they lose I won't cry.

[00:13:42] If they win I'll probably cry.

[00:13:44] I mean this is like literally what I've been waiting for.

[00:13:46] Has a sporting event ever affected you emotionally Nick?

[00:13:49] Uh I don't think anything's affected me.

[00:13:52] Last time you cried?

[00:13:54] I think we saw my cry.

[00:13:56] I can't remember even.

[00:13:57] Yeah.

[00:13:58] It hasn't been for like ten years.

[00:14:01] Um no I know yeah I definitely remember being drunk and then you know what I told this story

[00:14:08] I got drunk and watched Star Trek and cried.

[00:14:13] Definitely cried it up when he sacrifices his family.

[00:14:16] I cried at something.

[00:14:17] Oh Kirk's dad.

[00:14:18] Oh yeah yeah yeah.

[00:14:20] I cried at some baby content recently.

[00:14:23] Somebody was like like an instagram.

[00:14:24] I'm so fucking cute.

[00:14:25] I don't remember what it was.

[00:14:26] You cried out at the hat people.

[00:14:27] I was pretty yeah yeah.

[00:14:28] I was crying thinking about like if I had a daughter you know.

[00:14:32] I almost started crying earlier today when I was watching Yassil Puyg's incident.

[00:14:38] Instagram live story.

[00:14:40] He's so joyous.

[00:14:42] He's such a happy beautiful spirit.

[00:14:45] Happy to be at a kuba or whatever.

[00:14:47] Incredible.

[00:14:48] His Instagram was my favorite Instagram right after he defected from Cuba because he was

[00:14:54] like learning American culture.

[00:14:56] So he would like just take pictures like with stuffed animals and be like yeah.

[00:15:00] Like oh yeah Minions.

[00:15:02] Yeah he'd like take pictures with like animals at the zoo and stuff.

[00:15:10] He was like learning American culture through technology.

[00:15:13] I love the shit immigrants love about America.

[00:15:16] Like Elders like they want.

[00:15:18] Like my cousin now neither wanted peanut butter.

[00:15:21] Only one was Jeff.

[00:15:22] They got it there dude.

[00:15:23] Yeah my cousins from abroad always asked for cinnamon trident.

[00:15:27] Really?

[00:15:28] Yeah.

[00:15:29] Interesting.

[00:15:30] How big red?

[00:15:31] They like cinnamon trident.

[00:15:33] Tree dent.

[00:15:34] What about Elders cousin wants Rogaine from Alba to Albania and Elders won't send it to

[00:15:40] him because he's too the shipping to expensive.

[00:15:46] That seems like something they would want or need in Albania.

[00:15:48] Yeah.

[00:15:49] I need medicine to offset reactor juice.

[00:15:54] I was exposed to reactor juice.

[00:16:00] My hair is fuck up.

[00:16:03] My hair is so fuck up.

[00:16:05] I need juice.

[00:16:06] Apparently in Albania they had like these like mountain tribes where you were allowed to

[00:16:13] be trans.

[00:16:14] Like you could be a woman that lived as a man.

[00:16:17] I mean that's like that's not unique.

[00:16:19] The idea that there's a gender binary is something.

[00:16:22] Yeah.

[00:16:23] I mean like lots of cultures have that.

[00:16:25] But it's like yeah I don't know.

[00:16:27] Those people that live in the woods and like stick their dicks and piles of fire ants, they

[00:16:31] always have a third gender that's like a guy that's too much of a pussy to fuck the

[00:16:34] fire ants.

[00:16:35] And he gets to like hang out with the children I guess.

[00:16:40] Pretend he has breasts.

[00:16:42] Sweep.

[00:16:44] Yeah.

[00:16:45] Do those guys get fucked?

[00:16:47] Well I'm certainly not by the fire ants.

[00:16:50] Yep.

[00:16:51] That's for the real men.

[00:16:52] That's the good pussy.

[00:16:53] That's fire ant.

[00:16:54] You let a bunch of bullet ants bite your testicles and then you sit on top of the fire ant.

[00:16:57] Top of a totem pole for six and a half weeks.

[00:17:00] It's crazy to think but there are still tribes like deep Amazon deep Congo that have never

[00:17:06] had any contact with the outside world.

[00:17:08] Is that real?

[00:17:09] Yeah.

[00:17:10] There's still like tribes that have never had sex and it's you guys.

[00:17:12] Yeah.

[00:17:13] What?

[00:17:14] It's true.

[00:17:15] A tribe called Never Had Sex.

[00:17:16] Are you fucking kidding me?

[00:17:17] Well how could it be a tribe that you wouldn't be able to procreate?

[00:17:19] That's my my rap group a tribe called Never Had Sex.

[00:17:23] You're real work.

[00:17:27] Mine is a Jew Tang Jew.

[00:17:33] Jew Tang Poon Tang Clan.

[00:17:36] Poon Tang Clan.

[00:17:37] That's good.

[00:17:38] That's good.

[00:17:39] Because I get pussy as opposed to what you're saying.

[00:17:41] Sure it's not peanut M&M.

[00:17:42] No.

[00:17:43] It's not your rap name.

[00:17:45] No it would be pretzel.

[00:17:48] That's my favorite one.

[00:17:49] You guys are fuck with pretzel M&M's?

[00:17:51] They're no they're delicious.

[00:17:53] They're bad.

[00:17:54] Oh what?

[00:17:55] Anything that came after peanuts.

[00:17:56] Oh shit.

[00:17:57] The peanut butter ones are good.

[00:17:58] Peeces.

[00:17:59] This piece is already filled that void.

[00:18:01] I don't need you to put it around.

[00:18:02] They're better.

[00:18:03] They're better.

[00:18:04] M&M coming around pretending like they invented Reese's Peacie's Peacie's.

[00:18:06] They're fatter the shot.

[00:18:07] Check this out.

[00:18:08] M&M candy flavor and then it's just skittles.

[00:18:11] That I would fuck with.

[00:18:14] You know what was pretty cool?

[00:18:15] We were doing blow on Halloween like three years ago and went to that party that had

[00:18:19] those like half dollar sized M&M's?

[00:18:22] Oh I remember that.

[00:18:23] It's like 19.

[00:18:24] That was the night that Tommy told us.

[00:18:26] He just looked at the trans.

[00:18:29] Oh yeah.

[00:18:30] That was also the night that guy fucking told that story about his friend that you know

[00:18:37] we're talking about those hiscitic hats.

[00:18:39] The stupid hat.

[00:18:40] Oh yeah.

[00:18:41] And this guy's like yeah my boy.

[00:18:43] Well what got one of those in like they caught him and he went to he got they charged with

[00:18:49] a grand larceny or something.

[00:18:51] I mean he was like $5,000.

[00:18:52] What do you mean he got one of those and he was like yeah he was like riding his bike

[00:18:56] down the street and he fucking like just plucked it off one of those guys.

[00:19:00] That's a funny idea of a hiscitic guy like running down the street after his stupid hat.

[00:19:06] So good.

[00:19:07] Because if anyone deserves it it's them if they should be hate-cryinged but like light-hate

[00:19:11] crime sure like like pranks.

[00:19:13] They're bad people.

[00:19:14] They don't have a sense of humor.

[00:19:16] Oh they're horrible drivers.

[00:19:18] They exploited get me started.

[00:19:19] They exploited the system.

[00:19:21] You know well fair and shit.

[00:19:23] Yeah but then to like personally enrich themselves and exploit their you know the communities

[00:19:29] they live in.

[00:19:30] Oh what about what about a fucking we do one of those like claw games but it's a bunch

[00:19:35] of those guys with their with their hats and steel all their hats.

[00:19:40] No they have to speed and it's a big it's a big one of those claw games and they're all

[00:19:45] in there.

[00:19:46] How about we lock it from their heads.

[00:19:47] We reroute the G train to a special camp where they have to go into they look like showers

[00:19:53] but there's actually gas that comes out of the ceiling.

[00:19:55] Whoa.

[00:19:56] Like fun laughing gas.

[00:19:57] Yeah.

[00:19:58] Okay and they all so that's so we teach them about laughter since they don't have a sense

[00:20:01] of humor.

[00:20:02] We put them in that camp and they all yeah and we show them a like the ringer by Johnny

[00:20:08] Knoxville the best comedy ever the one where he pretends he's retarded retarded and we

[00:20:13] put laughing gas and then we cure them of their humorlessness.

[00:20:16] Oh you know it's a great movie Tropic Thunder.

[00:20:19] I was just talking about that today.

[00:20:21] It's a really good movie.

[00:20:22] It's a fantastic movie.

[00:20:23] It pulled off the black face.

[00:20:26] It feels a little weird when he's doing blackface.

[00:20:29] I think it's cool.

[00:20:30] You think I thought it was funny.

[00:20:32] Do you guys watch any Halloween movies.

[00:20:34] No talk about whatever criteria and shit you're gonna mention.

[00:20:38] I watched the scary movie today.

[00:20:40] Yeah.

[00:20:41] What's that.

[00:20:42] The killing of the sacred deer.

[00:20:44] I just got movie passed so I can like I've been going to I can go to the movies alone

[00:20:48] during the day.

[00:20:49] It's really nice.

[00:20:50] Jacob's ladder will half of it last night.

[00:20:52] What was that.

[00:20:53] Jacob's ladder.

[00:20:54] It's like one of my favorite horror movies.

[00:20:57] I'm not saying it.

[00:20:58] It's like Tim Robbins is a.

[00:21:00] Transvestite from Transnet.

[00:21:02] He's a nom vet who has like flashbacks or whatever.

[00:21:05] He's like just he's really just turns out he's in hell.

[00:21:09] Whoa.

[00:21:10] Shit.

[00:21:12] Which is kind of it sounds like trite and stupid but it creates like a really depressing

[00:21:17] mood that stays with you for like weeks on end.

[00:21:20] Damn.

[00:21:21] Just feel like shit after watching it.

[00:21:23] Damn.

[00:21:24] That's sort of how I felt after I saw this movie today.

[00:21:27] It's really stressful.

[00:21:28] It's that Greek guy that made dog.

[00:21:31] Yeah.

[00:21:32] Who's the name of his movies.

[00:21:33] I feel like a bad patriot.

[00:21:34] He's really good.

[00:21:35] What's the first like what was your first Halloween costume you remember with your.

[00:21:39] Dick Tracy.

[00:21:40] Dick Tracy.

[00:21:41] Yeah.

[00:21:42] I like it.

[00:21:43] They got me like a yellow duster.

[00:21:44] Did you want to be a yellow hat or yeah I thought Dick Tracy was sick.

[00:21:47] I love Dick Tracy because the word dick I thought it was hilarious.

[00:21:50] Yeah.

[00:21:51] I don't know if I thought I got it but yeah I did love it.

[00:21:54] Yeah.

[00:21:55] I mean I think I was like five.

[00:21:57] Yeah I was a four.

[00:21:58] My parents made me a clown.

[00:21:59] It's a little fucking cute birthday clown.

[00:22:01] Oh that's cute.

[00:22:02] I look kind of like John Wayne Gacy actually.

[00:22:04] It's kind of the same paint without realizing it.

[00:22:08] But it was cute.

[00:22:09] I was like three.

[00:22:10] John Wayne Spacey dude.

[00:22:11] Uh oh.

[00:22:12] Same type of shit.

[00:22:13] John Wayne Kevin Spacey.

[00:22:14] What about you Nick?

[00:22:15] I think just a skeleton.

[00:22:17] Mmm.

[00:22:18] Standard.

[00:22:19] Yeah.

[00:22:20] Did you go skeleton every year?

[00:22:21] Every single year.

[00:22:22] What was the first one that you really fucking knocked out of the park that you were like

[00:22:28] I'm proud of this shit?

[00:22:30] I think the first like Halloween costume I wanted to be was probably Sonic when I was

[00:22:35] like five.

[00:22:36] Hell yes.

[00:22:37] And my mom sewed a Sonic costume.

[00:22:39] Oh shit that rules.

[00:22:41] Did he look good?

[00:22:42] Yeah.

[00:22:43] I mean yeah it was pretty good.

[00:22:44] I mean it was like a blue sweatsuit with fins like attached.

[00:22:49] That's tight though.

[00:22:50] But yeah.

[00:22:51] No it was pretty good.

[00:22:52] Were you the bell of the ball?

[00:22:53] No.

[00:22:54] No.

[00:22:55] I had the right one where they were being a ball.

[00:22:56] He didn't go to a Halloween ball dude.

[00:22:58] No no.

[00:22:59] It's you and it's a bunch of older men.

[00:23:00] Yeah.

[00:23:01] And it's a bunch of little kids and they're as the best costume.

[00:23:04] I feel like Sonic in this track suit.

[00:23:06] Yeah it's pretty good.

[00:23:07] It's a very sonic themed track.

[00:23:09] You can zoom around.

[00:23:11] Yeah.

[00:23:12] Eating some chili dogs.

[00:23:13] Do you know who's a huge sonic fan?

[00:23:14] That was code for it.

[00:23:16] It was gay code for when you pull your dick out of a man's ass and it's covered in diarrhea.

[00:23:21] Yeah.

[00:23:22] That's part of the homosexual agenda that was snuck into the Sonic the Hedgehog's heart.

[00:23:29] And the gold rings?

[00:23:30] Cock rings.

[00:23:31] You know that?

[00:23:32] You know what Miles has two tails?

[00:23:34] Why?

[00:23:35] Because it's a represents you got fucked in his ass twice.

[00:23:39] Okay.

[00:23:40] So he's still new to the life.

[00:23:42] Damn for real.

[00:23:46] Yeah.

[00:23:47] Well his name, it's full name is Miles of T. It was Miles' power right?

[00:23:55] But he had a T.

[00:23:56] Which a lot of people think stands for tails.

[00:23:58] That's why they call him that.

[00:23:59] But it actually stands for trans.

[00:24:01] Oh shit.

[00:24:02] Oh yeah.

[00:24:03] That's Sonic's friend trans.

[00:24:05] Trans powers.

[00:24:06] What about that red one?

[00:24:08] Who's he?

[00:24:09] Knuckles.

[00:24:10] Knuckles.

[00:24:11] Yeah.

[00:24:12] That's his attitude.

[00:24:13] Yeah.

[00:24:14] That's put his whole knuckle in your ass.

[00:24:15] Yeah.

[00:24:16] I really can't extrapolate more weird shit out of Sonic.

[00:24:20] It was already pretty bizarre to begin with.

[00:24:22] You know Michael Jackson was a huge Sonic fan?

[00:24:25] Really?

[00:24:26] Yeah and he wrote the closing credits to Sonic.

[00:24:29] I wanna be Sonic.

[00:24:31] The best there ever was.

[00:24:34] My name is Sonic.

[00:24:35] I remember this song.

[00:24:37] Yeah.

[00:24:38] Yeah.

[00:24:39] Yeah.

[00:24:40] Yeah.

[00:24:41] I'm not Sonic.

[00:24:42] If you're a cartoon, you can't molest children being Sonic.

[00:24:48] My friends will be for a game.

[00:24:50] Oh hell yeah.

[00:24:52] They brought Jackie Chan.

[00:24:53] They're like come up with a cartoon.

[00:24:54] He's like oh what if it's just me?

[00:24:56] Yeah.

[00:24:57] They're like alright.

[00:24:58] And he's got a fat friend who's giant and he's got an old his dad or something.

[00:25:04] I don't remember the show.

[00:25:05] I just remember it.

[00:25:06] It was a good ass show.

[00:25:08] Yeah it was Jackie Chan, he has a niece that he helps out.

[00:25:12] The precocious American niece with those Chinese speech impediment.

[00:25:15] Oh.

[00:25:16] Sort of like the niece and rumble in the Bronx.

[00:25:19] That's where Adam developed a crush on Asian girls is from this young Chinese girl in Jackie

[00:25:24] Chan Adventures.

[00:25:25] Um yeah.

[00:25:26] Yes it is.

[00:25:27] Moving on.

[00:25:28] Yeah.

[00:25:29] Wait what about your, what about your, I wanna hear about your Halloween costume that

[00:25:33] you were like?

[00:25:35] I was like a sonic, I always asked to buy like Power Rangers stuff and like I was Hercules

[00:25:39] one year.

[00:25:40] That was pretty good.

[00:25:41] The Kevin Sorbo one.

[00:25:42] My parents would just put me in like scarves of my mom's and be like you're fucking pirate.

[00:25:48] Hmm interesting.

[00:25:49] Oh yeah.

[00:25:50] That was your parents choice to go into your mom's room.

[00:25:53] Yeah yeah.

[00:25:54] My parents, my friends are always forced me to play my mom's heels.

[00:25:57] It's like the middle of May and his dad's like what the fuck is this?

[00:26:01] He's like I'm playing Halloween.

[00:26:04] I'm pretending it's Halloween so I can get candy and he's like good save.

[00:26:12] Why is the TV remote in your ass?

[00:26:16] I'm playing the remote slos.

[00:26:19] Oh fuck.

[00:26:22] I was the Pillsbury Doughboy.

[00:26:24] Oh that's cute.

[00:26:26] It was part of my way of like trying to do a little bit.

[00:26:29] That's a little kid I was trying to like you know overcome it.

[00:26:34] I remember doing costume after fourth grade.

[00:26:37] I think fourth grade was like I think and then for like the last three years I did Halloween

[00:26:45] it was always like just black hoodie and then like a scream mask.

[00:26:50] Right right.

[00:26:51] The classic like too old to do it but you still want candy type of shit.

[00:26:55] I think last year I did it with sixth grade.

[00:26:57] I had khakis black t-shirt red backwards.

[00:27:01] Yankees fitted.

[00:27:02] That was Fred Durst.

[00:27:03] Fred Durst yeah.

[00:27:04] Yeah I don't remember middle school.

[00:27:05] I remember when we were young as shit eldest dressed up.

[00:27:08] Remember your other rap name is Fred Durst.

[00:27:11] That's good.

[00:27:12] Is he a rapper exactly?

[00:27:14] Yeah of course he is.

[00:27:16] Fred?

[00:27:17] Yes of course.

[00:27:18] The breads and healthy.

[00:27:19] It's just one of those days when you don't want to wake up.

[00:27:22] Everybody sucks.

[00:27:23] Everything is fucked.

[00:27:24] And you don't know why but you want to justify.

[00:27:28] I can't I can't qualify.

[00:27:30] No you're in contact.

[00:27:31] Are you serious?

[00:27:32] If you interact your life is on contract.

[00:27:35] The best bet is stay away.

[00:27:37] What the fuck is that?

[00:27:38] It's just one of those days.

[00:27:40] It's all about the he said she said bull shit.

[00:27:43] Why do you got crackers now that?

[00:27:45] That flowed like wine.

[00:27:46] I was listening to that album like two months.

[00:27:49] I'm fucking dead shit got stuck in the CD player in my car.

[00:27:53] And it's almost hit off.

[00:27:56] Yeah dude you don't remember the song you did with met the man your distance.

[00:28:00] Cause right now I'm dangerous.

[00:28:05] Right now I'm dangerous.

[00:28:08] Yeah that's a cool.

[00:28:10] Fred let's do that again but can you not do that like Adam Sandler voice thing?

[00:28:14] Alright I'll try cause right now I'm dangerous.

[00:28:17] Put a little stank on it Freddie boy.

[00:28:21] Yeah.

[00:28:22] There's a girl in the break stuff music video some like tomboy looking bitch.

[00:28:26] I remember her.

[00:28:27] I remember her up and shakes her tits.

[00:28:28] I remember really nice.

[00:28:29] Yeah yeah.

[00:28:30] She doesn't even have like particularly nice tits.

[00:28:32] No.

[00:28:33] Just something about the way she does it and like the duration of the tits being shaked

[00:28:37] that you can't help but think man I should track down that woman.

[00:28:44] I should find out who she is and confront her as being the woman from the limp is good

[00:28:50] break stuff music video.

[00:28:51] Who else did it?

[00:28:52] I don't remember.

[00:28:53] The guy from corn.

[00:28:55] Yeah Jonathan Davis.

[00:28:57] Well they were they went on tour together.

[00:29:01] They were like tour mates on what was that tour called something that's corn and limp

[00:29:06] biscuits.

[00:29:07] 9-11 is never going to happen.

[00:29:08] Yeah yeah.

[00:29:09] This is going to be 1999 forever tour.

[00:29:12] Oh yeah we're then Woodstock 99.

[00:29:15] Yeah we're stuck.

[00:29:16] Everyone got raped.

[00:29:17] Whoa.

[00:29:18] Seriously.

[00:29:19] In the mud.

[00:29:20] I was at my cousin's house she was just giving birth.

[00:29:23] She was a former stripper.

[00:29:24] Nice.

[00:29:25] And she hot.

[00:29:26] I guess.

[00:29:27] Yeah she is.

[00:29:28] Nice.

[00:29:29] Why not.

[00:29:30] Tell her I said what's up.

[00:29:31] We're watching Woodstock 99 on TV.

[00:29:34] Woo.

[00:29:36] Woodstock.

[00:29:37] Nothing like the spirit of Woodstock.

[00:29:40] Hendrix.

[00:29:41] The limp is it was basically Hendrix.

[00:29:43] The new Hendrix.

[00:29:44] Yeah.

[00:29:45] You know what I mean.

[00:29:46] I felt like it was all bunch of bullshit bands too.

[00:29:49] Who else would stock 99?

[00:29:51] It was like bands warped or shit.

[00:29:53] Yeah yeah.

[00:29:54] Before 99.

[00:29:55] Yeah.

[00:29:56] Was that Jameric why I was there maybe?

[00:29:58] Yeah yeah yeah.

[00:29:59] I feel like there's always like a black band that's like.

[00:30:03] I'm going to become an RB attack named Turdice.

[00:30:06] And it's T-U-R-D-I-C-E with an accent.

[00:30:13] The Family Values Tour.

[00:30:15] That was the name of the tour.

[00:30:17] Yes.

[00:30:18] Ice Cube.

[00:30:19] Inky Abyss was on it.

[00:30:20] We don't embrace Family Values.

[00:30:22] Yeah yeah yeah.

[00:30:23] Well that was Ice Cube right before he like made the like turn to just be like a dad and

[00:30:29] movie to be one of America's favorite community actors.

[00:30:32] Yeah yeah yeah.

[00:30:33] He was like the cool black guy that was giving them all credibility on that tour basically.

[00:30:36] Yeah to say I'm going to pull this car over.

[00:30:39] Yeah.

[00:30:40] If you kids don't.

[00:30:41] Dammit.

[00:30:42] We ain't going on vacation if you can't settle do.

[00:30:45] Y'all don't settle D on the end?

[00:30:48] We ain't going on vacation.

[00:30:50] It's like oh no.

[00:30:54] Somebody left Ice Cube's brain out in the sun.

[00:30:59] Ice Cube's son now gets to be a damn actor.

[00:31:02] Yeah Ice Cube Jr. out there.

[00:31:04] Yeah you play an Ice Cube in the movie.

[00:31:07] Okay.

[00:31:08] What's his name?

[00:31:09] A smaller Ice Cube?

[00:31:11] Nice.

[00:31:12] An Ice Cube that was made in a smaller tray.

[00:31:14] Yeah.

[00:31:15] Oh boy.

[00:31:16] That's good.

[00:31:17] A say crushed ice.

[00:31:19] Yeah yeah.

[00:31:20] Crushed.

[00:31:21] Yeah.

[00:31:22] And a piece of hail from a hail storm maybe.

[00:31:25] That might be big or small.

[00:31:26] Yeah.

[00:31:27] From a small a small storm.

[00:31:29] Yeah we're like a little sleep.

[00:31:31] Sleep.

[00:31:32] I'd say if you want a good deal on a car by the way go down to Texas get a hail storm

[00:31:36] damaged vehicle.

[00:31:37] Really?

[00:31:38] Oh yeah.

[00:31:39] Well I mean they're fucking like completely fucked up.

[00:31:41] But the engine's good.

[00:31:42] The car's fine.

[00:31:43] It's just got some kind of weird cosmetic.

[00:31:45] Should we go get where we talking about getting a van like a

[00:31:47] year ago?

[00:31:48] I was talking about a boat all the time.

[00:31:52] Let's go down to Texas.

[00:31:54] Let's fucking drive.

[00:31:55] Let's take.

[00:31:56] Let's get plane tickets down there.

[00:31:58] We drive our van back.

[00:32:00] Huh?

[00:32:01] Who's with me?

[00:32:02] Two shows.

[00:32:03] Yeah.

[00:32:04] We go to Austin.

[00:32:05] We do some shows.

[00:32:06] We can do barbecue.

[00:32:07] We could do Atlanta.

[00:32:08] Oh this is a great idea boys.

[00:32:09] We could do Charlotte North Carolina.

[00:32:10] Charlotte.

[00:32:11] I had the worst show in my life.

[00:32:12] I almost fought a banker in Charlotte.

[00:32:14] Yeah.

[00:32:15] I was touring with WAM City.

[00:32:16] This place called Snug Harbor.

[00:32:18] And no one showed up except one insane woman that was like a fan of theirs.

[00:32:23] She fought you?

[00:32:24] No.

[00:32:25] There's just some fat guy that was there and I was just doing crowd work.

[00:32:28] And he was like fuck you.

[00:32:29] And he like he tried to fuck you by me.

[00:32:32] It's pretty tight.

[00:32:33] What's the worst you ever got heckled?

[00:32:35] That was pretty bad.

[00:32:36] I mean that guy was like yeah.

[00:32:39] I've had people had to be like dragged out of shows.

[00:32:42] Yeah me too.

[00:32:43] Really?

[00:32:44] That's never happened to me.

[00:32:45] Can you see like this guy was he was just like take your fucking shirt off.

[00:32:50] He kept shouting.

[00:32:52] Yeah.

[00:32:53] Yeah I was in Philly and I was doing a bit about how the Constitution is bullshit.

[00:32:58] Oh I remember that bit.

[00:32:59] That's a good bit.

[00:33:00] And then fucking some guy was like wake up son.

[00:33:04] And this is like the peak of like you know Obama's a Muslim.

[00:33:07] Right right right.

[00:33:09] So I was like fuck you you old piece of shit.

[00:33:12] And then because I like I don't like comedies just at this point even then yeah comedies

[00:33:18] just like a job.

[00:33:20] So if you try to make the 20 minutes I have to work any harder.

[00:33:26] It's not going to be like hey we're just having fun here sir.

[00:33:29] You know we're like I'm not going to riff or whatever.

[00:33:31] Because it was always like fuck you he's just going to just go fucking 400 years ago they'd

[00:33:41] be hanging from whatever.

[00:33:42] They dragged them out of the show.

[00:33:44] That's pretty good.

[00:33:45] Yeah.

[00:33:46] But you know I've had shit like that happen.

[00:33:49] People scream and shit and they need to be removed.

[00:33:52] I wanted to fight that guy dude.

[00:33:53] I was mad but you didn't.

[00:33:55] That's that's how the story ends.

[00:33:57] I was at that would let me do that was trying was that isn't pet worth.

[00:34:00] I was a pop on the whole through the damn wall trying to get to it.

[00:34:04] Pet worth we'll talk about it during the break.

[00:34:06] Oh the break.

[00:34:07] We'll be back.

[00:34:10] Oh well well everybody.

[00:34:11] It's break time and it's time to talk about underwear.

[00:34:14] We're talking about Mac Weldon underwear.

[00:34:17] The greatest underwear company in the world.

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[00:34:29] I went online.

[00:34:30] I got some Mac Weldon underwear myself.

[00:34:32] It was very easy.

[00:34:34] Probably one of the easiest things I've done online.

[00:34:38] At least morally to get over the guilt I usually feel.

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[00:34:47] and sweatpants that you'll ever wear folks.

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[00:34:56] the odor out of your body and neutralize it.

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[00:35:23] A lot of you are probably just in high school.

[00:35:25] I guess get your parents to buy the fancy underwear for you.

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[00:35:38] off.

[00:35:39] It'll make a great Hanukkah gift for all of our listeners out there.

[00:35:43] Thanks guys MacWeldon.com.

[00:35:45] Man we're back.

[00:35:48] It's all about sucking fucking pussy.

[00:35:53] Hell yeah.

[00:35:55] Oh yeah.

[00:35:58] Limp biscuit.

[00:35:59] That's what the ladies call my cock.

[00:36:06] A limp ol' little biscuit.

[00:36:08] I thought it was about when you dunk a cookie in tea while you're having.

[00:36:15] Oh that's what I thought.

[00:36:16] Yup.

[00:36:17] I swear you put your dick in a pussy soft.

[00:36:20] A limp biscuit.

[00:36:22] I assumed yeah that's what it was.

[00:36:24] I've been soft dickin' girls.

[00:36:27] That's a really terrible feeling.

[00:36:29] Oh my god.

[00:36:30] When you're just grabbing it at the base and pretending it's hard.

[00:36:33] You're trying to squeeze it.

[00:36:35] Yeah yeah yeah.

[00:36:36] Like a fucking like deflated balloon.

[00:36:38] Yeah yeah yeah yeah.

[00:36:39] Exactly.

[00:36:40] You're trying to get the fucking stiffness at the top.

[00:36:43] Oh that is a terrible feeling.

[00:36:45] I'm not a man.

[00:36:47] Absolutely.

[00:36:48] Maybe.

[00:36:49] Just get essentially homosexual.

[00:36:50] If you could you would just get two popsicle sticks and like splint it.

[00:36:54] You know what I mean?

[00:36:55] Yeah.

[00:36:56] Yeah I would only ever really happen to me when I was like really fucking drunk.

[00:37:00] Yeah I mean it happens when I'm drunk.

[00:37:02] Yeah.

[00:37:03] But I don't drink anymore so that's like.

[00:37:04] So you can go.

[00:37:05] So you got that rock high?

[00:37:06] Yeah I've never had that problem as a sober person.

[00:37:09] Even when I'm like completely fucking yakked out.

[00:37:12] Really?

[00:37:13] Yeah.

[00:37:14] Interesting.

[00:37:15] I can get a boner from that but I can't.

[00:37:17] It takes me a while to come.

[00:37:18] Yeah.

[00:37:19] It takes me.

[00:37:20] Actually that's probably my experience with like uppers too.

[00:37:22] It was like I just can't get hard but I can't come.

[00:37:25] You know I remember I was saying Adderall in college for a while like during finals and

[00:37:31] the boners would be 75%ers.

[00:37:34] It wouldn't be nice strong.

[00:37:36] Oh maybe that's what I'm going to blame the Adderall.

[00:37:38] Beautiful.

[00:37:39] Yeah I've had some bad showings.

[00:37:41] I think it's not good for boners.

[00:37:42] I've put up some bad numbers recently.

[00:37:44] Yeah.

[00:37:45] What is it?

[00:37:46] Vasso.

[00:37:47] Vasso.

[00:37:48] Vasso.

[00:37:49] Dialator.

[00:37:50] I mean whatever the one that constricts your blood.

[00:37:53] It fucking cock up.

[00:37:54] I didn't know that.

[00:37:55] Yeah I think this fucking broke the world.

[00:37:57] I think it would be a little bit.

[00:37:58] I think it would fuck my cock up.

[00:37:59] Yeah.

[00:38:00] I need all the help I can get bro.

[00:38:01] Why just remember I jack off like at like 60% or 70%.

[00:38:05] I've been jacking off kind of not at my best potential.

[00:38:08] I mean I'm like I don't care.

[00:38:09] I don't have to show up nice for myself.

[00:38:11] What if I get what if I get.

[00:38:13] Yeah I mean that's the way it fucking.

[00:38:17] That's why you don't get better at fucking.

[00:38:19] Why?

[00:38:20] You treat jacking off as practice.

[00:38:23] Yeah.

[00:38:24] I mean it's kind of one of those.

[00:38:25] Practice how you play dude.

[00:38:26] I treat everything in my life as practice.

[00:38:28] You know that's what the Navy Seals do.

[00:38:32] Oh it's true.

[00:38:33] He's a live ammunition on the fucking training.

[00:38:35] If somebody dies fuck him.

[00:38:37] He's a washer.

[00:38:38] He's too weak you know.

[00:38:39] Send this fucking his raped body back to his family.

[00:38:43] That's right we're fucking him after he dies.

[00:38:46] You know let a mommy and daddy know that your little Tommy didn't have what it takes

[00:38:53] to be a US Navy Seals.

[00:38:55] At least part of him was a US Navy Seals.

[00:38:57] I don't know how many people.

[00:38:58] But jizz in his ass.

[00:39:00] I left a little signature on his body.

[00:39:03] You got a couple of medals if you know what I mean.

[00:39:07] A lot of two steel team six guys just murdered an army ranger in Africa.

[00:39:12] No chill.

[00:39:13] Yeah yeah yeah I heard about that.

[00:39:14] That's some fucking that's some like action movie.

[00:39:17] I guess it proves what we all kind of knew.

[00:39:19] Army Rangers sort of pussies.

[00:39:21] I'm kind of torn because I'm I belong to both those groups.

[00:39:25] Yeah.

[00:39:26] They just hit me up whenever they need.

[00:39:28] Well as an international mercenary this outranks all of them.

[00:39:32] Yeah.

[00:39:33] International mercenary.

[00:39:34] I used to be with the special operations group at the CIA.

[00:39:38] But then I got promoted past that to allow to murder anyone in the world at any point.

[00:39:43] Oh black water.

[00:39:44] No past black water.

[00:39:46] Plasba.

[00:39:47] I'm a double of Dr. Manhattan.

[00:39:49] I'm double of 69 for England.

[00:39:52] I'm like 69 for England.

[00:39:54] I'm like James Bond.

[00:39:54] What do you have to do for that?

[00:39:56] I'm basically James Bond.

[00:39:57] You have to just like do you like to fuck how they vary and I have to.

[00:40:01] I'm Jeremy Piven.

[00:40:04] From entourage.

[00:40:05] Yeah.

[00:40:06] He just got allegations.

[00:40:07] He did.

[00:40:08] I mean that's not surprising is it?

[00:40:10] Well by Lloyd it was it was Lloyd.

[00:40:14] He spoke very rudely to me.

[00:40:17] He raped the guy to play Lloyd.

[00:40:22] To get into character.

[00:40:24] He raped his kids.

[00:40:26] I don't like it.

[00:40:30] Jeremy.

[00:40:31] Oh boy.

[00:40:32] I remember my cousin and me one time.

[00:40:37] My uncle had like an office for a while and he had like an assistant.

[00:40:42] And the assistant was this guy Alvin or something.

[00:40:47] I mean my cousin.

[00:40:48] We were like eight Theodore.

[00:40:50] So we thought he was like just a cool guy.

[00:40:52] You know.

[00:40:53] Because he had like tattoos or whatever and he wore tight shirts.

[00:40:56] Yeah.

[00:40:57] Yeah.

[00:40:58] And then we went on Alvin's computer one time and like you know like the fucking like

[00:41:03] search history comes up and it's like guys sucking each other's dick.

[00:41:07] And we were like.

[00:41:09] He's fucking gay.

[00:41:12] Like showing my uncle and he's like that's no you're busy.

[00:41:19] Damn dude.

[00:41:21] Yeah.

[00:41:22] I told that story already about that guy Brian in college.

[00:41:26] Who has yes.

[00:41:27] Yes.

[00:41:28] Life size.

[00:41:29] We get night as poster is guy sucking dick but he's not good.

[00:41:33] But he's not good for the first time ever.

[00:41:35] But he's also not gay.

[00:41:39] Two straight guys.

[00:41:40] He'll bounce right back to heterosexuality after this.

[00:41:43] I think I saw on Facebook he's married to a woman to a penis to a severed penis.

[00:41:51] He's just going to have a great life where he just watches gay porn for 60 years.

[00:41:55] Nah.

[00:41:56] He's definitely cheating on his wife with men for sure.

[00:41:58] Probably.

[00:41:59] Yeah.

[00:42:00] My man's great.

[00:42:01] I get off on not being not gay.

[00:42:02] Yeah.

[00:42:03] That's a weird orientation that people just can't like process.

[00:42:06] It's like some people don't need to come out of the closet.

[00:42:08] They feel better pretending like they're not gay and secretly.

[00:42:12] That's their sexual orientation.

[00:42:14] That's the one thing on the down low.

[00:42:18] And it's you know I'll tell you what it's being stolen from the black community by your

[00:42:22] friend.

[00:42:23] That's right.

[00:42:24] Absolutely.

[00:42:25] He's not my friend.

[00:42:26] But yeah.

[00:42:27] That's not your friend.

[00:42:28] Oh after after.

[00:42:29] No he had a secret agreement with.

[00:42:30] Yeah.

[00:42:31] No no no.

[00:42:32] You guys just hang out like every like a month and a half.

[00:42:35] No he was a total prick.

[00:42:36] He was like he was a huge asshole.

[00:42:38] I mean he was a major.

[00:42:39] He was a major man.

[00:42:40] He hadn't even gotten a call in bed.

[00:42:41] Also like my friend found he like went on his computer to use you porn.

[00:42:49] And I'm like that's weird that you're watching porn on your roommates.

[00:42:52] You're really early days of you porn.

[00:42:54] I thought that's how he felt.

[00:42:56] Of homemade porn was like so cool when you porn first came out.

[00:42:59] I remember jacking off to like a video of like some like extremely thick Turkish woman

[00:43:06] taken on like some shitty cell phone video.

[00:43:09] And it's just her walking around but she had such a huge ass.

[00:43:13] I thought it was unreal.

[00:43:14] Yeah homemade still is nice.

[00:43:16] It was like 240p.

[00:43:18] Yeah.

[00:43:19] 240 I.

[00:43:20] Oh yeah.

[00:43:21] I'll shaky.

[00:43:22] Can't tell where the nipple in the fucking areaola.

[00:43:24] Right.

[00:43:25] The difference you know it's all one brown part.

[00:43:27] Yep.

[00:43:28] Yep.

[00:43:29] The dick looks like a I don't know.

[00:43:34] It's not well defined.

[00:43:35] You guys get it.

[00:43:37] What's what's have we talked about Japanese porn before in this show?

[00:43:41] Yes.

[00:43:42] Yeah.

[00:43:43] The cock's out.

[00:43:44] We got nothing else to talk about.

[00:43:45] I beat off to a porn where it's like a cam girl fucking a delivery man and I fell for

[00:43:51] like I feel like it's real.

[00:43:52] I know it's not but she was on I like to spend my disbelief.

[00:43:56] Yeah.

[00:43:57] And she like but the guy was all nervous I kind of bought it.

[00:44:01] You know.

[00:44:02] That's cool though.

[00:44:04] Yeah thanks man.

[00:44:05] That's sort of your dream when you're a delivery man.

[00:44:07] Yes.

[00:44:08] Oh some hot girl is going to want me to fuck her on cam and then it's like you know you

[00:44:13] get shot in the neck by a 13 year old black kid and then you just sort of die in the

[00:44:20] parking lot of project housing while trying to earn your 475 an hour from Papa John's.

[00:44:26] And then your family isn't compensated by the pizza company at all because they make

[00:44:30] millions and millions of dollars to hand over to lawyers to prevent them from any kind of

[00:44:35] liability when they.

[00:44:37] Uh, she has to pop a John saying kneeling during the NFL is what caused this shitty

[00:44:43] fucking company to lose money.

[00:44:44] Yeah.

[00:44:45] Dude what if he has to be fired as a CEO.

[00:44:48] He's crazy.

[00:44:49] Imagine a fucking like if I were a fucking shareholder and the CEO of the company after

[00:44:55] like an enormous loss was a 11% fucking drop in the stock price goes out in public and

[00:45:04] makes a fucking comment that's regardless of like no matter how fucking right you are

[00:45:10] you have to be able to analyze and say like yeah this is going to be a divisive statement

[00:45:15] right that is not good for the company.

[00:45:18] Just say anything other than like yeah you know well we got some different things we

[00:45:23] got to try or like you know the market shifting and it's like deliver.

[00:45:27] I mean everything's delivering now through seamless and we've got like a bunch of new

[00:45:31] ways that we're trying to get people excited about pizza again and to fucking go out and

[00:45:36] say oh no you know what the problem is.

[00:45:38] The Coons not bowing to the flag.

[00:45:42] The queen flag that's the problem is you know he's a huge drunk and he's a huge tea party

[00:45:47] guy.

[00:45:48] Yeah he's the he's the like definition of a loose cannon.

[00:45:51] Well I mean the politics aside that's such a fucking shitty move for the head of a company.

[00:45:57] Yeah totally.

[00:45:58] I love that drunk ass picture him in a Louisville game.

[00:46:00] Yeah yeah yeah.

[00:46:01] He just draped over his face as purple like just completely flush.

[00:46:05] I realize today because both the stories have at the same time he looks a lot like Manafort.

[00:46:10] Oh they look very similar.

[00:46:13] Yup you know.

[00:46:14] Shouts out to Papa Doppelis.

[00:46:16] Yeah.

[00:46:17] Flippin on the whole squad.

[00:46:18] Yeah.

[00:46:19] Oh it was Trump.

[00:46:23] Just singing like my Greek brother he's gonna break.

[00:46:25] See he's a rat.

[00:46:26] He's not actually bad.

[00:46:28] He's an informant dude.

[00:46:30] Papa Doppelis.

[00:46:31] He's been undercover the whole time.

[00:46:32] I don't even know he existed.

[00:46:34] Nobody did.

[00:46:35] He was some like low level.

[00:46:36] Yeah he's nothing right.

[00:46:37] Yeah.

[00:46:38] There's some other guy that they're talking about is flipping that I'm like I've never

[00:46:42] heard that guy's name before.

[00:46:43] Yeah I don't know.

[00:46:44] I mean I don't need to know their name.

[00:46:45] Do you think anything's gonna happen?

[00:46:47] Probably not.

[00:46:48] Like Mueller indictment was rushed.

[00:46:50] We talked about it but there's like this huge error in it where they name some woman

[00:46:56] as the former president of Ukraine and she was never president.

[00:46:59] Damn.

[00:47:00] It's like in the indictment.

[00:47:01] My man's gotta do a little double check in there Mueller.

[00:47:03] Right.

[00:47:04] Which I don't know how big of an issue that is.

[00:47:06] Hey anybody ever did this one?

[00:47:08] Mueller.

[00:47:09] Oh yeah.

[00:47:10] Mueller.

[00:47:11] Mueller right guys.

[00:47:13] Like the.

[00:47:14] That movie.

[00:47:15] Also they got they got fucking Manafort on like tax evasion.

[00:47:18] Yeah it wasn't it wasn't like Russian collusion.

[00:47:21] No rich guy doing the same shit every fucking rich person's.

[00:47:25] It seems like like oh wow you know he fucking he snuck money into the country to spend uh

[00:47:32] it's almost a million dollars on rugs that was part of it.

[00:47:36] That's cool.

[00:47:37] Yeah for his house.

[00:47:38] I think it's like whatever I really don't give a shit.

[00:47:42] You know imagine how fucking luxurious those carpets are though dude.

[00:47:45] First of all I don't know anyone who isn't a fucking tax cheat.

[00:47:49] You know I have literally everybody I fucking not a cheat but like you're always trying

[00:47:54] to get away it's set up as you try and minimize the amount of fucking money that you pay.

[00:47:58] It's a it's a weird system where everyone's like trying to get over on the government.

[00:48:02] Right.

[00:48:03] Whereas if we just did a tax on uh I don't know something else.

[00:48:08] What doesn't doesn't doesn't huckabee.

[00:48:11] I remember I went to a huckabee rally as a bit in like the year 2000 or something maybe

[00:48:16] and he he said something about a flat tax or something.

[00:48:19] Wait you went to a huckabee rally as a bit 17 years ago.

[00:48:22] I'm sorry not 17 years ago uh when I was in college whatever year that was.

[00:48:27] He was at college park 2008.

[00:48:29] When elders was at college park yeah we just kind of went like because we thought it was

[00:48:32] funny and uh.

[00:48:33] He went to university of Maryland for a while.

[00:48:36] Check this out.

[00:48:37] Ernest is getting too fat to lick his own asshole now.

[00:48:40] He struggles and then he gives up.

[00:48:42] I feel you brother.

[00:48:44] I feel you my fat brother.

[00:48:45] There was a time in my life I was too fat to comfortably wipe my ass.

[00:48:49] Are you serious?

[00:48:51] Yeah I had to I had to fucking go on like a bathtub and art and like put my leg up Captain

[00:48:56] Morgan style and get underneath it.

[00:48:59] That's so fast.

[00:49:00] I know I was fat as shit.

[00:49:02] That was when I was like 3 30.

[00:49:04] That's so funny.

[00:49:05] I hope you get that fat again.

[00:49:06] No dude.

[00:49:07] I'm wishing it upon you.

[00:49:09] I've been I've been trending down steadily.

[00:49:12] Look at this.

[00:49:13] Look at this gross cat.

[00:49:14] My dog my dog's been eating her pussy all day long today for some reason.

[00:49:19] Me.

[00:49:20] Yeah.

[00:49:21] Look at Ernest.

[00:49:22] Nick just kicked the cat with a lick his own.

[00:49:24] Let him give himself a room job.

[00:49:25] I'm making him do it in the other room.

[00:49:27] I don't want him fucking licking his asshole directly.

[00:49:30] I don't know.

[00:49:31] I don't want to see this disgusting display of auto homosexuality.

[00:49:37] Would you eat your own ass if you could.

[00:49:39] Auto homosexuality is what Jay Leno does.

[00:49:42] Are there women in men cars?

[00:49:48] Yeah.

[00:49:50] If you watch that documentary about people that fuck cars they do gender the cars.

[00:49:54] Interesting.

[00:49:55] Oh yeah.

[00:49:56] They've got that guy in there that fucked air wolf like snuck into the museum where

[00:50:00] they keep air wolf and he fucked it.

[00:50:02] What's air wolf?

[00:50:03] This is a helicopter from a TV show.

[00:50:04] Whoa.

[00:50:05] This is a TV helicopter.

[00:50:07] You know who I want to get my dick sucked by is the magic school bus.

[00:50:10] Mmm.

[00:50:11] It was a fat lip.

[00:50:13] Imagine how good that would feel.

[00:50:14] It does have some big ass lips.

[00:50:18] Yeah.

[00:50:19] You just you're fingering Miss Frisels red ass pussy.

[00:50:21] I would love to fix up.

[00:50:23] Miss Frisels was hot.

[00:50:24] Miss Frisels got that you got that lizard shoved up your ass.

[00:50:29] Dude.

[00:50:30] You're making Carlos Carlos.

[00:50:32] This is rubbing your back and fucking making you mojitos and table side block.

[00:50:38] What are you?

[00:50:39] Nine nine fingers deep in Miss Frisel.

[00:50:41] Damn.

[00:50:42] I want to fuck.

[00:50:44] He leaves a pinky out because as a stylistic flair.

[00:50:47] It's not the choice.

[00:50:48] You can't take it.

[00:50:49] But you got it.

[00:50:50] You know you hold like a tea cup.

[00:50:51] That's how you finger Miss Frisel pinky out.

[00:50:54] That's right dude.

[00:50:55] Two hands.

[00:50:56] Loyalty.

[00:50:57] Yeah.

[00:50:58] Two hands both hands.

[00:50:59] Right.

[00:51:00] Both pinky.

[00:51:01] Yeah.

[00:51:02] Put your nuts on the bumper or the magic school bus.

[00:51:05] Oh yeah.

[00:51:06] It's winter so it's cold.

[00:51:07] Oh so it's they stick.

[00:51:08] Yeah.

[00:51:09] So you have to pour a little warm water on them to get them off.

[00:51:12] Yeah.

[00:51:13] It's got a drool on your nuts on stick your nuts.

[00:51:15] I like that a lot.

[00:51:16] I really like that.

[00:51:18] Oh, damn.

[00:51:19] If you're out there and you're fucking horny for the magic school bus.

[00:51:22] Just go ahead and jack off right at work.

[00:51:25] If anyone comes over and actually doing one guy Jack.

[00:51:28] Yeah.

[00:51:29] Show them the show them the podcast you're listening to on your phone and say I'm jacking

[00:51:32] off to the magic school bus.

[00:51:34] You can't fire me.

[00:51:36] It's actually an orientation.

[00:51:37] That's right.

[00:51:38] It's called the white version of being on the down low.

[00:51:41] That's where you fuck.

[00:51:44] You want to fuck cartoons.

[00:51:46] What are some other cartoons that could get it?

[00:51:47] You know her be the other cartoon car fully loaded.

[00:51:53] Yeah.

[00:51:54] That could get it in terms of car, cartoon cars.

[00:51:57] The Larry the Cable Guy pickup truck and cars.

[00:52:00] Oh, yeah.

[00:52:01] Oh, yeah.

[00:52:02] Most of the cast of cars.

[00:52:03] That's motherfucking get it.

[00:52:05] Yeah.

[00:52:06] Yeah.

[00:52:07] Some cartoon characters are sexy.

[00:52:09] Like the brave little toaster.

[00:52:10] Oh, yeah.

[00:52:11] Well, yeah.

[00:52:12] Well, he doesn't want to just pick up their dick up in that little electric slot.

[00:52:16] Mm-mm.

[00:52:17] Fucking horse.

[00:52:18] Got two pussies on his head.

[00:52:20] Oh, yeah.

[00:52:21] Dude.

[00:52:22] Oh, yes.

[00:52:25] And no women by the way.

[00:52:26] Obviously, Velma and the other one from Scooby-Doo, we fucked them.

[00:52:30] I'd fuck that lesbian from Scooby-Doo.

[00:52:31] But that's not what we're talking about anthropomorphic objects.

[00:52:34] I'd like to take two hands, right?

[00:52:36] Mm-hmm.

[00:52:37] And then while you have one hand, you get a real tight grip on a yago from a ladder.

[00:52:41] And then you position them over your dick.

[00:52:43] Uh-huh.

[00:52:44] And then you use the other hand to slam them down.

[00:52:46] Oh, yes.

[00:52:47] As fast as possible.

[00:52:48] I love that.

[00:52:49] It's completely stuffed that bird over your, with your cock.

[00:52:52] You just make that noise.

[00:52:53] And little feather flies, you know.

[00:52:55] And he deserves the comic way.

[00:52:56] He's zombic coming out of his mouth.

[00:52:57] Oh, yeah.

[00:52:58] Yeah, he deserves it.

[00:53:00] You fucked his entire digestive system into his beat cavity.

[00:53:05] That's what I call sex, baby.

[00:53:11] Oh, yeah.

[00:53:12] The robot from the Jetsons.

[00:53:14] Yeah.

[00:53:15] You know?

[00:53:16] I feel like she would have some kind of mechanical pussy.

[00:53:17] Yeah.

[00:53:18] You think the Jetsons fuck their robot mates probably, right?

[00:53:21] Yeah, it's their property.

[00:53:22] Absolutely.

[00:53:23] Yeah.

[00:53:24] Wow.

[00:53:25] Yeah.

[00:53:26] Yeah.

[00:53:27] Bam, bams, bat up my ass.

[00:53:30] Yeah.

[00:53:31] From Trinsons.

[00:53:32] Yeah.

[00:53:33] Jam that giant fucking bat all the way up my ass.

[00:53:37] Put the short side up and then turn around real quick and hit someone with it.

[00:53:41] Put my legs up on the dash and drive the car with my dick.

[00:53:44] I just slapped my dick against the ground and make the car drive.

[00:53:50] Well, gay guy from the Flintstones instead of the ribs to eat them.

[00:53:54] He just gets a big ass brontosaurus dick and puts the whole thing his ass.

[00:53:58] Oh boy.

[00:53:59] Yeah.

[00:54:00] What are some other sexy cartoon characters?

[00:54:06] I mean, that we would really want to fuck.

[00:54:11] No, the bit is when people say, you know, you know, some cartoon characters are hot,

[00:54:16] like Jessica Rabbit.

[00:54:17] Right.

[00:54:18] But then you keep Jessica.

[00:54:19] You're fucking.

[00:54:20] You see the shifting.

[00:54:21] Yes.

[00:54:22] No, no, no.

[00:54:23] You see the joke is you say, yeah, fucking yeah.

[00:54:27] Some cartoon characters are pretty hot.

[00:54:29] Tommy Pickles is a good one.

[00:54:31] Yeah.

[00:54:32] Grandpa Simpson.

[00:54:33] Can you imagine just rubbing your dick all over that lumpy ass head is like read braille

[00:54:38] with your dick.

[00:54:39] I'm trying to fuck a reptile, dude.

[00:54:41] I don't know about you motherfuckers.

[00:54:43] That's double cart.

[00:54:44] That's a cartoon in a cartoon.

[00:54:45] Yeah.

[00:54:46] Yeah, that's true.

[00:54:47] Itchy and scratchy.

[00:54:50] I want them to itchy my balls and scratchy my ass.

[00:54:53] Dude, I got one.

[00:54:54] Itchy.

[00:54:55] I got one.

[00:54:56] I scratch.

[00:54:57] No, fuck you, Ernest.

[00:54:58] Ernest is drinking my water after licking his asshole for my 30 minutes.

[00:55:02] Well, that's his water now.

[00:55:04] Yeah.

[00:55:05] I've just been alpha by earnest.

[00:55:07] It's going to be great when you forget and drink that water too.

[00:55:11] I won't do it.

[00:55:13] Yeah, you will.

[00:55:15] Uh, yes.

[00:55:16] Anyways, I just watched Jacob Slatter again halfway through the other night.

[00:55:21] Pretty good.

[00:55:22] Never seen it.

[00:55:23] You didn't even see the twist.

[00:55:24] No, I've seen the movie a million times.

[00:55:27] I haven't seen shit, dude.

[00:55:29] Yeah.

[00:55:30] I thought movie past.

[00:55:31] The next movie I've seen theaters is probably going to be the next Star Wars movie.

[00:55:36] I don't really have any interest in the story, but I heard they're letting people jack off

[00:55:39] in the theater to the girl.

[00:55:41] Whoa.

[00:55:42] That's 5D, dude.

[00:55:43] Yeah.

[00:55:44] That's the...

[00:55:45] I already have 4D, which is like, you know, they spray shit on you.

[00:55:47] Yeah, you get to spray shit on them.

[00:55:49] Yeah.

[00:55:50] Beat off.

[00:55:51] I think we said that on the last episode.

[00:55:52] Yeah.

[00:55:53] On 4D.

[00:55:54] Yeah, 4D.

[00:55:55] And then 5D.

[00:55:56] Yeah.

[00:55:57] You just get rained on.

[00:55:58] Do we say that?

[00:55:59] Yeah, some about 4D.

[00:56:00] Because 4D is time.

[00:56:01] Right.

[00:56:02] But 4D movies, you just get misted and it smells.

[00:56:05] Yeah.

[00:56:06] Yeah.

[00:56:07] Smells like Lysol or whatever.

[00:56:08] That's so fucking retarded.

[00:56:10] So dumb.

[00:56:11] The 5D's you beat off.

[00:56:12] It's $30 for each ticket.

[00:56:15] I mean, that's how fucking much I'm access.

[00:56:18] I used to love going to IMAX and sign.

[00:56:20] You ever go to Science Center?

[00:56:21] Because it's something that it's called GIMAX and it's guys only.

[00:56:24] Yeah.

[00:56:25] Okay.

[00:56:26] And when you're in the lab, what are you feeling to do with that?

[00:56:27] And we go into the theater and we just check out just sweet babes.

[00:56:32] Okay.

[00:56:33] We're in Bikini's.

[00:56:34] You know what gets me really turned on, fellas?

[00:56:37] A Bikini.

[00:56:38] We're in the clothes.

[00:56:40] Oh, yeah.

[00:56:41] Wearing.

[00:56:42] Put them on.

[00:56:43] Put them on, you know.

[00:56:45] Then you look in the mirror and you say I could be a sexy lady too.

[00:56:49] Would you fuck me?

[00:56:50] I'd fuck me.

[00:56:51] I fuck me so hard. Yes, you don't know what pain is mm-hmm

[00:56:55] And then maybe you coax one of the other fellas to maybe you know play that part

[00:57:00] Yeah, maybe he fucks you. Yeah, maybe they call him Buffalo bill in silence and lamps

[00:57:06] Was he from Buffalo? They never address that he loved chicken wings news from Buffalo. So it's a double reason was that it?

[00:57:13] Yeah, yeah, they called him wing stop William

[00:57:16] Shouts at the wing stop Rick Ross owns it

[00:57:21] He's got a wild wings is the funniest goddamn restaurant

[00:57:24] He dressed his daughter as a lemon pepper wing by the way. I'm saying this somebody Buffalo Wild Wings is like

[00:57:29] Imagine if you were too dumb for David Busters

[00:57:33] Yeah, there's no games. There's no

[00:57:36] You couldn't figure out

[00:57:38] The games that they've been busters don't want to be dubbed up dude. That's one of the quality place to go David Busters vibe

[00:57:44] But none of them. Yes the same quality of food

[00:57:49] None of like the mental effort it takes to navigate a David Buster

[00:57:53] I will say there has been a shift the wings are smaller at

[00:57:57] B dubbed up. They used to be juicy dude

[00:57:59] I went to a wing stop one time and there was this really big fat guy behind the counter

[00:58:04] mm-hmm and I was there with my friend Brendan who's like like one of the funniest people and

[00:58:09] And the fat guy made the mistake of like enthusiastically telling us what his favorite wings are

[00:58:17] And like I like knowing Brendan well enough

[00:58:20] I just sort of watched like the gears turn in his head knowing that he's like documenting every fucking word mannerism

[00:58:26] Yeah, guys putting on display so that he can make fun of it for literally months on it

[00:58:33] What were his favorites?

[00:58:35] You know what let's talk shop. Yeah, I don't even remember

[00:58:38] But I do remember laughing hysterically

[00:58:44] Wind expert here. Are you suggest eat the garbage outside, but then they gave me a job

[00:58:51] Fuck dude, I love a nice wing

[00:58:54] I was at the Arlington draft house today and there was a guy that was way too into working at the Arlington draft

[00:59:00] That's always sad when you see some like Sherwin Williams had a couple Sherwin Williams like lifers

[00:59:05] Yeah, like people are just like this get out man. He was just going around. He's the worst or game stop employees

[00:59:11] Yeah, oh, yeah, the people that want to work at GameStop and aren't just like yeah

[00:59:16] I had a kid when I was 16. So yeah, this is my fucking life

[00:59:21] What is your after house guy like Adam? He was just like he like

[00:59:25] Chast eyes like an older black woman. He's like excuse me. They just played a commercial. So my name is chastised

[00:59:35] If you go on chastise me you better understand that is also my name

[00:59:40] The chastised violence

[00:59:42] I'm sorry did not mean to disrespect you

[00:59:45] This respect is my my little name. This is my this is my son disrespect and my other son

[00:59:52] Cherlish

[00:59:57] Cherlish

[00:59:58] Damn it disrespect if you don't act good. We gonna turn this corner

[01:00:04] I'm gonna turn this damn corner near

[01:00:07] Do you remember it substitute teachers like black substitute teachers will always say like I'm gonna write you up for insubordination

[01:00:13] Yes, that's the big one every single

[01:00:15] Also, what is writing up is that just like an administrator referral? Yeah, basically yeah

[01:00:20] I guess it doesn't mean it don't do anything. Yeah, every administrator referral. I got I you just go to the principal's office

[01:00:26] And they're like yeah, don't do what damn I just realized that dude

[01:00:30] Holy fuck it worked on me my whole life

[01:00:33] I mean the smartest kids were the ones that just realized that in trouble meant nothing. Yeah, of course not like oh

[01:00:41] Why do we do that? Oh, we're gonna get in in trouble. They were smart

[01:00:45] They're smart kids were the ones that like went to fucking Harvard the whole power structure was built on a complete lie

[01:00:51] Yeah, I mean those were those were the kids that were like the matrix

[01:00:54] It's kind of the truth still even in the outside world

[01:00:57] You think like oh if I could go back and if I knew the consequences for just attention or you know being suspended or something

[01:01:03] I do whatever the fuck I want but the reality is is like an adult man

[01:01:08] You can murder people you can rob banks you do whatever the fuck. Oh, yeah, the worst that happens is you just go to jail

[01:01:14] Uh-huh and then you could get you know sexually assaulted if you're a bitch

[01:01:20] If you learn how to bite a man's penis off, uh-huh, that's real liberty

[01:01:26] That's real freedom. That's what George Washington wanted. That's why those wouldn't teeth

[01:01:30] Yeah, when he chopped down that cherry tree and his very strongest would yeah

[01:01:35] And his dad said why the fuck do you do this? He said I want to suck a man's dick to death in jail

[01:01:39] I'm not scared and that's what the fucking athletes are kneeling to

[01:01:46] Is that's that's the story?

[01:01:49] Tell it tell it and in honor of that, uh, popa john's is offering a pizza pepperoni pizza where we've

[01:01:56] We've aligned the pepperonis to look like George Washington sucking a man's penis

[01:02:03] Jail to represent the true freedom of popa john's

[01:02:10] You know apparently we always see is the old George Washington young George Washington was like a sexy guy with red hair apparently old George

[01:02:17] Washington was sexy to fuck this attitude

[01:02:20] No, like George Washington was like super tall for the time. Yeah, it was like everyone's like five six

[01:02:25] Was laying like six two apparently. Yeah, you think you think you only fucked Martha

[01:02:29] You think he fucked someone else too. Come on. He was definitely first of all fucking slaves his

[01:02:35] People that he owned humans that he owned

[01:02:38] And second. Oh, yeah, I think that's a myth dude. I think that's a myth, but you know, no if you think about it

[01:02:44] All slavery have founding father names is jefferson or washington or that's true handcock was just a movie

[01:02:50] But i'm sure you could find another black guy named handcock

[01:02:53] Oh, you think handcock the superhero he can trace

[01:03:00] From the Constitution that's not his name biggest shit

[01:03:05] Yeah, he was real flamboyant that was hand cocks other superpowers good ass signatures. Yeah, it's true. He had the most flamboyant

[01:03:14] Sam Adams a lot of black guys named saint paulies girl

[01:03:17] Another father

[01:03:22] That's right. Yep

[01:03:25] DeAndre mil walkie's best you guys ever meet that guy

[01:03:29] It's pretty cool. Who are the other founding fathers jefferson washington benjamin franklin

[01:03:37] Maximilian robs piair

[01:03:40] John hand king george. Yeah, he was one of them. Come on adam. This is your wheelhouse

[01:03:44] Uh the founding fathers bob evins uh james mattison

[01:03:49] um

[01:03:50] pat bucannon

[01:03:52] Uh john quincey Adam. Yeah the mclaughlin group

[01:03:57] What the coke brothers dad issue one

[01:04:00] um

[01:04:01] Tonight on the group jamey kelstein's uh rebranding as an alt right guy go to a bad

[01:04:08] Tony blankly. What do you have to say?

[01:04:10] I think it's good. Yeah, that's what he sounds like

[01:04:15] I think it's good in my dick small. It's me. Tony blankly. All the way from brittin

[01:04:21] tiny brittin

[01:04:24] tiny blankly

[01:04:27] Time you take that bitch some fucking old news guy who I don't know at all. Yeah

[01:04:35] All right, I love being stupid man

[01:04:37] Yeah, I'm just gonna keep getting dumber every year until I die. I think I want them to bring back them a glauquin group and let sin bad

[01:04:43] Hosted

[01:04:46] be a great show

[01:04:48] What's the up to these days who sim bed? Oh, I don't know getting an earring removed by a doctor because it fused with his load

[01:04:59] He's around how it's not the 70s anymore. I feel like he's getting what was his act about

[01:05:05] I don't even think I watched it's literally all about the 70s how things aren't like the 70s anymore really

[01:05:11] But also really good comic

[01:05:15] Yeah, he's the he wouldn't have seen any no he's legitimately

[01:05:18] Watch his stand up. It's a million fucking times better than everything now. I had to watch this

[01:05:23] Somebody's foul an appearance the other day

[01:05:26] Well, it's like I don't want to go into it. Okay. It's uh

[01:05:30] It's just like I have like just stand up isn't good anymore

[01:05:34] You know, it's just not good

[01:05:36] And I think like is it because I'm jaded because I've like, you know watched a lot of stand up and I go back and watch old shit

[01:05:41] It's great

[01:05:43] I think partially it is. I mean partially you're probably just like a little overloaded by we know just seeing stand up now

[01:05:50] But I mean I'm with you the vast majority of stuff you see is kind of fucking

[01:05:54] Yeah, I don't know

[01:05:55] It seems like there's way more stand up and there's no uh

[01:05:58] Well, that's certainly something I've complained about so I guess since we redid we're done. We're done on time, but uh

[01:06:04] We should recap a couple of things that got

[01:06:08] Lost in the episode that was deleted

[01:06:11] Uh

[01:06:12] Jamie kilstein is back. He is now an alt right guy. Yeah, um, I was in I was wrong

[01:06:18] He he really didn't do anything. I thought I want to watch the rogan thing

[01:06:22] I thought he said he beat a woman, but that was just a joke that didn't land or whatever

[01:06:26] What did he say? Uh, he was telling some other anecdote about an african guy that oh first of all

[01:06:31] He was making fun of african guy voice which whoa your lane mother whoa

[01:06:36] Let's get the fucking bats out, bro. Yeah. Yeah, let's pull up on kyolstein. Nah. He definitely doesn't pay for the patreon

[01:06:43] You know he's definitely how do we beat up Jamie kyolstein, right? Of course. What is he like spaghetti tassel right? Yeah

[01:06:51] He's a little out of weight like 115 pounds. Let's go fuck him up. Dude. Yeah for taking african guy voice

[01:06:56] um

[01:06:58] Yeah, so uh, I guess there was that we talked about that

[01:07:03] The terrors I think I got angry and then we ended up not really saying anything about the issue at all

[01:07:07] Terrorist attack. We had a couple of good riffs on that. I think number one thing I pointed out was that it was

[01:07:13] He was stopped the truck was stopped by a short bus

[01:07:16] Yeah, that's true hats off to the driver for making the snap decision to put retarded kids in the line of fire

[01:07:23] And every single one of those kids also a hero. Yeah technically

[01:07:27] They're all wearing helmets. I think you know, but really only group of people that hasn't done a mass shooting

[01:07:33] That's true. It's true mentally disabled. Yeah, and they're proximity to the mentally ill, you know

[01:07:40] They get a bad rap

[01:07:42] But totally peaceful. Yeah in comparison and bad rap

[01:07:46] Uh limp biscuit we tied it all together. That's how you close the show beautifully. Thanks guys