Cum Town | Regular | 12/21/2017
[00:00:00] Having sex I had a dream last night that
[00:00:05] We recorded like 30 minutes of an episode and it was going great and I looked down and I hadn't enabled any of the tracks on the recorder
[00:00:12] Oh my god, which I guess is a nightmare
[00:00:16] Yeah, but not because it went bad, but because now I have dreams about podcast
[00:00:23] I had a dream I had a dream the other night that I was shaving my mustache off and crying
[00:00:31] While Anya was playing no, yeah a woman with breast cancer
[00:00:36] That's fucking weird dude. I had another dream to the same night about like a
[00:00:43] Okay, just had some morbidly obese man that they painted like Garfield, but he was still nude so you could see his penis
[00:00:49] entire time and it was on like, you know ABC family
[00:00:53] That sounds like a good-ass show. Let's do it. Yeah, I'll be Garfield
[00:00:56] Well, it's funny because it's like I'd like to think of myself as like I'm like good at comedy
[00:01:00] And it's the thing I put effort into and have to like come up with but it's just that my brain is like broken on a fundamental level
[00:01:06] Yeah, you have some kind of fucked up right. It's just more like symptoms
[00:01:10] Comedy is just one way that your brain is fucked up the things that shit the one way your brain is operating in a way
[00:01:16] It shouldn't all comedy is is like you say something unexpected. Yeah, and that'll do for my humble brag session of the show
[00:01:24] So that's humble brag that you have for dreamt about shaving your mustache and crying
[00:01:33] My man go to sleep and he dream about sushi he dream about sushi. Oh, hold up
[00:01:38] Alright joining us on this episode is the wonderful
[00:01:42] Mm-hmm always insightful for big titty amber
[00:01:57] Couple of ladies magazine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah good housekeeping. Yeah. Yeah
[00:02:12] Cat fancy was like why isn't there a magazine for autistic gay man
[00:02:21] Okay, this is good the different types of autism trains standard issue. Yeah straight the good off horses
[00:02:34] And cat fancy gay gay artists. Yeah, what about lesbian artists?
[00:02:39] No other lesbians. They're autistic about oh, yeah
[00:02:44] Okay, I think they're autistic about frowning and smoking cigarettes
[00:02:49] It was so funny. There's like some lesbians that lived down the block and they were like unloading their car or whatever
[00:02:55] And it was like I don't know what kind of car it was but it was like it would look like if Subaru was like
[00:03:02] Let's make a even more Subaru. He's right right right. It was like an Aztec or something. Yeah, this big
[00:03:11] Right exactly there is like leg hair on the wheel
[00:03:17] That Asian woman with the mullet no it's oh I love her. She has a physique like Danny DeVito
[00:03:23] I haven't seen her but they were unloading they were unloading the car and like
[00:03:30] And this isn't gonna have like a good payoff
[00:03:31] But they just you know they look like white like Portland Maine lesbians right and I was like
[00:03:35] I bet I'm gonna get up there and the license plate is gonna be like a
[00:03:39] You know yeah well like Vermont or something right and I walked past it like of course it's a vermont
[00:03:45] That type of new England Lesbo. Oh, yeah, I think I told this story, but I dropped my cousin off at a lesbian
[00:03:52] Burning man potluck and I am not kidding there was six Subaru's parked in the driveway
[00:03:59] It was like I was like Olga what the fuck man come on. This is she's like no you got me. This is really good
[00:04:07] Well, they're good cars. It's not like I had cars. Yeah, I like that they were like we're gonna make shit
[00:04:13] It's a Japanese company in their life. We're gonna make cars for Australia
[00:04:17] Australia right guys about sound Japanese. Yeah, and then all they did was a lot of cars for women that dress like Australian
[00:04:27] The outback the khaki. Yeah. Yeah a lot of tackle tackle vests. Yeah short shorts. Damn. I never thought of super news Japanese
[00:04:39] But you remember the commercials coming out. Yeah, they're all fun. You can hear my traditional lesbian accent
[00:04:49] Is a lesbian eat me pussy. Yeah my throat throw next steakhouse
[00:04:56] Throw out eat out back. Yeah, there we go. You're almost got it. Yeah. Yeah, eat out back steakhouse. That's it
[00:05:05] Ah fuck I haven't I don't dream anymore because I've been 30 days in a row
[00:05:09] I have been high as shit at bedtime. I've been eating edibles like they're fucking regular candies
[00:05:15] Yeah, shout out to the come boy that gave your boy a couple he gave me muddy buddy edibles, dude
[00:05:21] Yeah, in Boston. She's out there when it came out that Boston by the way and the shout south shore boys. What's up those chocolates?
[00:05:27] No, it's like they're they're got poppers in there so you can raw dog. Oh
[00:05:32] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, your high and your ass is just fucking dilated. It's really nice. Right?
[00:05:38] I take the medicine that they give from friend and women that are dilating
[00:05:42] Poppers and then his ass opens up like porcupig is about to come
[00:05:54] Through a grub hub even order groceries from no, but there's one on grub hub and they also deliver beer
[00:06:02] Poppers and with it poppers with with it's illegal. I guess not no. They're just they're just like whipped cream chargers
[00:06:13] Yeah, I seamless chips the other day. It's you a too illegal nitrous is you can't you need a license or something?
[00:06:19] Yeah, you have to be racing. Oh, by the way, you just make that shit, right? Yeah for the come boys that
[00:06:24] This is this is coming out on Wednesday, but on Friday with a DC show in the lot outside the come town show
[00:06:31] I will have a nitrous tank and I'll be selling balloons
[00:06:36] Anyone wants to get down. I went to star escape one time. Uh-huh, and it's just a bunch of guys outside going up balloons balloons
[00:06:45] Blings I got balloons. He wants to leave bling. Yeah, I'm scared fuck up off bloon
[00:06:51] I think it would be really cool. It's like yeah, no, I didn't take them already. I just sound like this
[00:06:56] This one kid in my neighborhood, uh, I went I remember going to his fucking house
[00:07:01] And he was he like got a dick to heroin or whatever. He's been in rehab a bunch of times
[00:07:06] But uh, yeah, I want to hang out with that
[00:07:08] I went into his house. I was friends his older brother and I was just hanging there and I just saw
[00:07:13] 12 cans of whipped cream and I was like
[00:07:16] Hell yes. Yeah, tom the fucking I didn't think about the whip it factor at all. Yeah, all it was
[00:07:25] Just sucked off all this flat whipped cream because it was they had taken all the whip
[00:07:30] And I'm just this story started with some guy that fucked up and got addicted to heroin and then
[00:07:35] The ending is your your horrific topping
[00:07:42] Yeah, I'm just snorting sprinkles. Yeah
[00:07:45] No, they had a deep fryer in the basement
[00:07:47] There was a bunch of shit left over in the basket and I was sucking on that while they were
[00:07:51] The oil they were they were yeah, they were they were they were sucking free on out of the back of the fridge while I was
[00:07:58] Sour cream that was about to expire out of the front
[00:08:02] Yeah, dude. Yeah, they're barnacles and you're the whale
[00:08:07] I do want to get ahold of edibles though. So I kind of want to get some barnacles for my body
[00:08:12] Yeah, oh, yeah, I think that would be cool. So long enough, right
[00:08:15] People are like what the fuck is that? I'm like, I'm helping the environment. That's right. Do that what barnacles do?
[00:08:23] Exchange the shark gets to have barnacles
[00:08:29] Yeah, that sounds good. Yeah, it's like a tape worm. They make you beautiful
[00:08:32] So if you put a couple barnacles on your nuts, it could suck your dick. That's true. Yeah
[00:08:38] Well, let's get barnacles boys. I get down to the docks. It could just suck the cum straight from your nuts
[00:08:42] Oh, yeah, would it feel like you're ejaculating? No. Yes
[00:08:59] Animals that are just basically a mouth that you could get to suck your clam
[00:09:04] Yeah, like there's got to be species of clam. Are you seeing that video of the chimp?
[00:09:08] Opening the frog. Fuck the frogs mother. That's different. That's rape. You saw that thing that came out
[00:09:14] That's why that's why all those Pepe guys they embrace the frog because the chimp is black people obviously
[00:09:24] Like this is a metaphor that video started it all
[00:09:30] I feel like that frog mouthfuck by my natural enemy the chimp
[00:09:40] That fucking chimp went to town on that frog
[00:09:44] Why look at it the chimp looks like it barely gives a shit about what it's doing. Yeah, and the frog in there
[00:09:56] And he comes his hair he takes a shower anytime you hear musicals coming out of my room. You know what's going on
[00:10:06] Yeah, I listen to the glorious stuff on when I check on choreographed. I would smash glorious stuff on
[00:10:12] Current day current day. Oh Miami sound machine. Mm-hmm. My eyebrows are raised. You know what I mean?
[00:10:18] Interested that's what eyebrow raising means, right? Oh, yeah, I don't know how to use my eyebrows
[00:10:23] Raise two raises in quick succession is you're up to something. Yeah
[00:10:30] Right, we'll do it. Let's see how long we can do this instead of actually talking
[00:10:34] This is gonna be our best episode. All right, okay
[00:10:41] No, no, this is it. This is the episode where you only communicate with eyebrows
[00:10:49] Suck my backside. That's good. Yeah, just a picture of Mark Marin wearing the pith helmet. Oh, yeah
[00:10:57] Everybody was questioning, you know, when I said mailman wear pith helmets people like what the fuck are you talking about?
[00:11:04] And you're like take that he dresses like Babbar. That's right. What was Marin doing?
[00:11:10] Exciting you project. Um, I don't know. He's a real mailman. Yeah, you got a job. I don't care
[00:11:16] I've never cared what Mark Marin is doing. He's delivering me two letters to powerful men in Hollywood. Yeah
[00:11:24] Fuck dude. So j miller speaking of j moor tj miller. Oh tj milli
[00:11:32] He he beat he beat and raped didn't he?
[00:11:35] Yeah, well, he like violated consent within the context of relationship. I mean the real bad thing is the beating. Yeah
[00:11:42] Yeah, yeah, so he beat the shit out of a woman. Yeah
[00:11:48] That's some bullshit. Yeah. Yeah, you heard of your foot first
[00:11:52] Yeah, I don't know why you even brought it up. I was like, well, maybe we could say something funny about it. Uh, probably not
[00:11:59] Yeah, there's just excited about it. You're like, oh here's it and I'm like
[00:12:03] This I'm like reading it to you're like, oh
[00:12:05] Right. Well, I was hoping it would be something where he did like a bad improv bit like a production assistant. Yeah
[00:12:15] It's like he pulled his dick out as a bit
[00:12:18] On stage. He slapped a woman around and we're like knocked one of her teeth out and you're like, oh, that's not yeah
[00:12:23] That's not funny. What are we gonna get Bobby Lee such a funny guy?
[00:12:37] What about Bobby Lee whose clothes are used to be pulling his dick out and putting on the audience?
[00:12:41] Yes, but he would do it to men, which is okay. I I'm still firmly in the right of men can't be sexually assaulted
[00:12:48] It's funny when men get straight straight men cannot be sexually assaulted. Okay
[00:12:53] Or sexually harassed, but gay men can yeah
[00:12:57] By other gay men or by straight guys or by women
[00:13:00] Mainly by women. Oh, yeah, you know how that goes. Yeah
[00:13:06] They're really whatever is that an issue?
[00:13:09] I want and this is probably somebody probably already does this is like a hack bit
[00:13:12] But I think about it like when you hear sex predator you'd think about predator from the predator
[00:13:19] The word predators, so it's like it's like the worst thing. It's like a black out of dreads
[00:13:26] Oh and he sucks your dick with that pussy mouth and it rips it and it fucks it up
[00:13:32] Oh teeth, that's brutal. I would hate to have that happen to me. Yeah, do you guys ever see teeth that movie with the girl has
[00:13:41] teeth in her pussy? I didn't see it because that was like the first of the movies. It was like I felt like
[00:13:49] Necessitated by a thing people were talking about online. That's a good point. Yeah, I think it made the rounds
[00:13:56] I mean there's plenty of movies that are good
[00:13:58] But like they just it was like this like that, you know the the fucking piss-pig granddad movie that's coming out
[00:14:03] There's a piss-pig granddad. Yeah. Yeah, really? Who's good? Is it Jono?
[00:14:09] No, yeah, like before he even got back from Syria. It was like jay jill and hall they like optioned his life without asking him
[00:14:17] He's not seeing what yeah playing him risk his like legal freedom by doing that
[00:14:24] I mean like there's like some serious concern and
[00:14:27] America just be someone told me if you go to Syria murder Isis you should at least you know
[00:14:33] Get to get to see the set of the Avengers
[00:14:40] There'll be a more fun. That'd be that'd be like a store
[00:14:43] I also do a movie without asking him, but the story is
[00:14:49] So it's a story about a guy who goes to Syria to fight Isis
[00:14:52] You know and then somebody starts making a movie about his life and he gets mad so he goes to Hollywood where he's raped by Brian
[00:15:00] As a grown man it's called the piss-pig granddad
[00:15:08] Like you don't understand that you just go back to shooting Arabs
[00:15:16] Be this you ever hear the expression send for a poet. That's me. That's my role. You know I do poetry. I've never heard that expression
[00:15:32] I'm the expression guy like asking a poet to write something nice for you. Yeah. Yeah, okay
[00:15:37] So if I wanted to seduce a woman I would send for a poet to write a poem a serrano de Bergerac
[00:15:44] That's what you want. Yeah, is that the guy with the big nose? Yeah, so you Adam is
[00:15:50] Adam is like tellers tell her like pretend like the movie she likes or dumb
[00:15:55] Then say actual dumb movies that make you sound smart. Yeah
[00:16:00] Three arbitrary facts about where she's from. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm
[00:16:04] Tell her that McGruber was the best movie the group is really years. Yeah, it is. I do I really think it is. Yeah
[00:16:11] You think that's the best movie of the last one. I think it's maybe the best comedy
[00:16:15] I haven't seen the Gruber, but Tropic Thunder is like way up there for me
[00:16:19] I think it's better than Tropic comedy to come out in the last 20 years. Yeah like scripted comedy
[00:16:24] I think Borat and Jackass are also very funny. You know what I liked a lot as far as comedy in the last 10 years
[00:16:29] Remember clown the Danish movie. Yeah. Yeah clown. Yeah. No, I don't know. I'm also
[00:16:35] It's not this guy who like wants to prove to his girlfriend that he can like handle a serious relationship
[00:16:40] So he takes his like nephew on a road trip with his like horny friend
[00:16:46] But you know this is like the boy doesn't grow or change at all
[00:16:51] Is this sort of there while they're exposing him to all this sex shit?
[00:16:54] It's really good. I'm gonna check it out. It was on Netflix for a while
[00:16:59] So it's a grown man and his horny friend. Yeah, and it's Danish. So you got to read
[00:17:05] My so you feel smarter at the I don't want to read fuck that shit
[00:17:11] Reading can suck my dick. It's like I've actually been reading. I'm reading the bronzes burning right now
[00:17:16] And I'm also reading that you've been reading it for like four and a half months. No, I've been reading it for two weeks
[00:17:20] Do not come to his defense. Thank you amber. I have been reading breaks of the game
[00:17:27] Sound I'm just like imagining stop in bed
[00:17:30] And he's like turning the page. I just just you look down and then it's just barbecues off and chocolate
[00:17:36] The full page it's completely blacked out
[00:17:53] I ran out of toilet paper. So I'm missing the last chapter
[00:17:57] Man, I kept feeling like I like I had just was leaking shit out of my
[00:18:02] And then I would run into the bathroom and like, you know check and I wasn't shitting myself
[00:18:06] But I just had this sensation that I was shitting myself. Yeah, you can't run into the back. Interesting. Yeah, is it called guyina?
[00:18:20] We're having a bad time. Yeah, we're all doing a lot of drugs right now. I think yeah, yeah
[00:18:25] Well, I just want to die. I hope I die soon. I kind of
[00:18:30] Would be such a body bought all the shit the wheel was kind of the end of the road where it's like
[00:18:35] You bought a wheel. Yeah, this is this is excessive. You bought the wheel. You bought the fucking weight vest. What else man?
[00:18:40] Guns his bank will buy a computer. Yeah, the bank tried to buy that new iMac
[00:18:46] They were like that's too expensive. Like you don't get to make that choice. So like actually we do what?
[00:18:57] They're like you're not allowed to spend more than $3,500. I'm like that's not how the bank works
[00:19:04] It's our money never happened before. I'm sorry the people that go to this bank don't have
[00:19:08] Right, right. Why I bank it amalgamated. So they assign you a Puerto Rican girlfriend that gets mad at you for buying
[00:19:17] You are not buying that shit. You are not bringing that into my house
[00:19:21] You don't live here. I love dude if a bank assign you a Puerto Rican girlfriend. Yeah, I can only see you in between noon and 2 30 p.m.
[00:19:32] The only hours you're open man the banks get really fucking bold with their hours. Oh, yeah
[00:19:37] Oh, they're just saying yeah, and then it takes like days to even when they are open. It's like oh that won't process for another seven
[00:19:45] Terrible what is a bank a bank on a saturday is open for about an hour and a half. Yeah, it's like 11 30 to
[00:19:52] 9 to 12 usually yeah, I feel like I always miss it if I have to go to the bank on a Saturday
[00:19:57] Sometimes I'll go to the branch I go to in union square and they'll just be a thing. It's like we're closed today
[00:20:03] This is no reason it's like a fucking note in the window. You didn't get a email. No to our customers
[00:20:15] Yeah, the ramen place bought me closes sometimes. Yeah, that's like a bank
[00:20:20] It's a bank for me. I use it more than my bank honestly
[00:20:22] I have gone to that ramen place more often than I've gone to my bank
[00:20:26] I was refused ramen last night. Maybe we should get swords. I would I would get a sword
[00:20:30] Yeah to bring just a just to bring to the ramen place
[00:20:35] I would love to cut up lines with a fuck. Yes, dude
[00:20:39] Take and then a broadsword to take the lines off of yeah
[00:20:42] You're using a guitar to cut up the lines on to be my major stories that like and then he made me do lines off his sword
[00:20:54] It's the most violated and dirty. I've ever felt my life
[00:20:57] He made me do lines while playing call of duty
[00:21:02] Guy that does lines off dildos by himself at home. No
[00:21:14] Me and adam were laughing last night about me and adam I mean me at his house and I told him about a bit
[00:21:20] He's like, you know, like the freddy mercury movie the scene where he's like donning of AIDS and he's on his deathbed and like brian mace air
[00:21:25] And yeah, he starts like he's like I feel okay. I think he starts like coughing up just come
[00:21:36] Yeah, the napkin he sees it. He's like it's fine. Don't
[00:21:39] Freddy. What is that? Yeah, yeah, that better be blunt
[00:21:50] Yeah, it's good to laugh at these things
[00:21:52] Uh, I think I mentioned it, but I saw behind the candelabra. Yeah, uh, michael douglas's character libirachi
[00:22:05] That is true. He looked really bad libiracha had a hairpiece
[00:22:09] Would you be a fabulous life out is uh, who's that the McCarthy lawyer?
[00:22:14] Uh ruekon. Yeah, that would be a fun movie
[00:22:18] What do you well alpachino plays him in indian's america? Yes, he does and it's he's fucking sick. That's right
[00:22:25] I forgot that then I've I forget that that is already a movie
[00:22:28] Yeah, like a very well, it's not a movie, but he's in the fuck is
[00:22:34] Dude they really code. Oh, I thought you know what I thought this was I thought this was a new cryptocurrency
[00:22:40] It's like somebody just posted a niggax instead of niggah
[00:22:44] And it's it's a non-gender binary version of niggah
[00:22:56] That's too much. Oh, I love that's like the latinx of the
[00:23:00] Gender neutral though. Yeah, it's not because no
[00:23:06] And I don't mean to be culturally appropriate it, but yeah, don't culture the appropriate. I don't want to yeah, but no, I mean
[00:23:11] Yeah, it's not n words and bitches. Yeah. Yeah, it's it's you know what it is
[00:23:16] It's gender neutral in the same way like guys is right where it's like
[00:23:21] Which is not gender neutral and if you say it it's offensive
[00:23:26] Everyone pretends like the n word is offensive when it's like no, I'm talking about men and women
[00:23:34] I said I called a trans person dude a trans woman, but I say dude to like everyone
[00:23:41] Yeah, I call amber. Right. That's what I mean like I say you guys all the time
[00:23:45] Yeah, and I say the end when trans people
[00:23:47] For us doing that bit about how y'all is the only truly gender neutral pronoun
[00:23:52] No, people are it's not even a bit people like use that an active it's stupid. It's like you
[00:23:57] Y'all is radical. I'll say y'all. Well, you heard it here first folks. Sam birthing's jake is a bad comedian
[00:24:04] Yes, put that take that jake poor jake and his new weird haircut. He's got a haircut
[00:24:10] No, he's just been growing his hair out. Oh, he's like Charlie beinson. Oh
[00:24:14] Yeah, it's a thick jake join us brother. Yeah join our ranks. Yeah
[00:24:20] You should get a piece dude. I'm gonna get a piece someday. Well jake's there's been shitty as long as I known him
[00:24:24] Like it receded like it receded all the way to the back of his head
[00:24:29] And like on his temples, but then it still stayed in the middle without like the penis. No, not the penis
[00:24:37] You know and like a bald guys a bald guy's head. He gets the seed
[00:24:40] You do this bit a to me and it's not a bit dude
[00:24:44] It's just a description of a way that male pattern baldness works. You say oh he got he has the peanut
[00:24:49] And he's saying this is the way you think is gonna be funny. I'm not saying it in a funny way. I'm just describing
[00:24:57] Yeah, he does he does have the class class. No me fun. Is that the penis?
[00:25:04] Uh, no, he's another eight who's class. No me. He's like
[00:25:09] He's like bowie, but american sort of no he's German
[00:25:15] Fine fine fine. He's German. So come out of like the east village. Yeah. Yeah, he was like a new york based guy
[00:25:22] And he used to he was a soprano. He used to sing
[00:25:28] Was he the guy in the in the woods that they had to hunt down the pineys the pine. Yeah. Yeah great episode
[00:25:39] Oh, yeah, i'm like bowie who tried to be gay and then couldn't do it. Didn't he fuck mikjagger
[00:25:44] He I don't think it was mikjagger. He's a peterfowl
[00:25:48] They always said he was gay and then they asked about it years later and he was like, oh, yeah, that was a bit
[00:25:55] He was like miss me with that gaseous. I tried to I tried to fuck a guy and it just
[00:26:00] No, he'd say he definitely had sex with men. Yeah, he's like I was like a closet heterosexual
[00:26:05] That's a way. No, he's like I tried it on with men, but honestly, I really didn't take a love pussy
[00:26:11] But he definitely had sex with a lot of men
[00:26:14] Pussy. Yeah, no, no, i heard there was a rape story coming out about michael stipe and that would really upset me if that's true
[00:26:25] I'm not a low key. I love r.m. I would be upset if michael stipe was a boy rapist that would suck
[00:26:30] Yeah, what do they hit? What are their songs?
[00:26:42] That's good. I like out of time more than
[00:26:46] Aponomous, but I was never really until them. I didn't know how to say eponymous until like
[00:26:55] There's words I just avoided that stopped. I remember I see too
[00:26:59] I remember that used to happen to me when I was reading but now that I don't read
[00:27:03] I know how to pronounce it so funny how often the chapel guys say words wrong because they read too much
[00:27:11] Father. That's just like he says they're like a like a boston brahman
[00:27:15] Well, it's funny because like none of those guys had ever spoken out loud until the podcast
[00:27:21] How about rosese party? How about rosese?
[00:27:25] We show up and like somebody let the chapel guys being controller the TV
[00:27:30] I don't think anyone left them Felix just grabbed it. We're watching a rainy and parliament fist fights
[00:27:37] Oh these people are like what the fuck is going on?
[00:27:48] On live leak it was on mute. We could listen to Mariah Carey
[00:27:53] Yeah, yeah, that's true. Definitely not the typical Christmas party vibe
[00:28:03] Mike and Deborah were just making food the entire time. I like didn't see them
[00:28:07] I felt bad for him. This is why this country never had a sophisticated military
[00:28:11] You know who I felt bad for is uh Oliver. It was his birthday. The dog. The little doggy
[00:28:20] What kind well husky bahmix that's she's cutie shit. That's cute a girl dog girl dog. She's got ice blue eyes
[00:28:27] Oh, that's beautiful. Yeah, she's cutie shit. I don't know what he's gonna name her yet
[00:28:32] Any suggestions from my my brother's dog's name guys, uh, stavros
[00:28:42] Like a greek goddess my mom named her her cats melina and aliki
[00:28:47] Which is too pretty good. I like greek. I leaky. I leaky. I leaky. I leaky. You're pretty. That's good. He knows
[00:28:59] What do you my dog was named after in egyptian goddess? Yep of blowing up a dog was named after the caliphate
[00:29:09] The dog Adam trainers in a in a different kind of caliphate called the dickie eight
[00:29:14] You did a dick he ate. Yeah, that's you you ate a dick. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's true
[00:29:21] Uh Adam how's hanaka going buddy? Mm-hmm. I've gotten
[00:29:26] I got a book for my girlfriend. Oh, that's cute. No, I could get the cotton. It's called act like a woman think like a man
[00:29:33] Yeah, i would like to read that book. Oh, no, I spent I was like in borders one day just stunning through it for a while just like
[00:29:48] Maybe we should read it at the live show should read a a chunk
[00:29:55] I think we that's where we should try out our eyebrow communication. Oh, yeah, because finally people will be in
[00:29:59] The reason they didn't kill is because no one could see us, but if they oh no, I think it probably did kill
[00:30:04] He was killing in the middle. We don't know. I mean, there's no way you could assemble my day
[00:30:09] Oh, yeah, they just found out about the pipe cast the now you know what I knew about it when you first did it and I forgotten about it
[00:30:19] It's great. Yeah, it's catchy. It's art. It's not illegal to use the song
[00:30:24] It's right up there with uh, where everybody knows your name, you know
[00:30:28] Yeah, one of the one of the most iconic theme songs where everybody sucks you do
[00:30:33] No, it's where everybody knows your gay. Yeah, that's so cold queers. That's right and that's first of all
[00:30:39] That I would even have to explain that to you. Yeah, it's disappointing. It's very surface level. There's a gay Ted dancing
[00:30:46] I'm still laughing about straight for the shirt
[00:30:56] Why don't you come over here and suck my penis niles? Oh, but Freja. I don't know if that's right
[00:31:04] That's pretty good. Hey you guys. What are you doing? Yeah, stop sucking each other off
[00:31:11] Really about an impression. Yeah, that's
[00:31:18] The dog was cool. How about edam you've got a little penis show called suck bone and it's about a dog
[00:31:25] Greet skate porn and then goes into the gay porn
[00:31:31] Oh, yes, little jack or jack Russell's terrier
[00:31:35] Suck was jack Russell. He's the only guy in history to get a dog after
[00:31:42] Oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah, but he's a king jack Russell is just some guy that's like yeah, I came up with this check this out
[00:31:47] Boom a little dog. There's little that's what that's what wishbone was the mass
[00:31:54] Jack Russell's would be a good name for like I don't know one of those subscription boxer. Yeah for retarded man
[00:32:01] Yeah, I just got my Jack Russell box. It's a tiny dog a wooden condom
[00:32:07] You know if you guys ever use if you guys ever use non latex gums like a lambs wool conda
[00:32:13] No, I never had do you have a latex allergy? Yeah
[00:32:20] Polyurethane that's like a wood wood finish. No, it's like skateboard wheels and bowling balls damn bro
[00:32:29] Honestly pulling out is just as effective as condoms. Mm-hmm. Just as safe
[00:32:35] It's in terms of contraception. It's just as effective not in terms of
[00:32:38] There's no way that's true. It's 100% true. Look it up. Well, it's not no
[00:32:47] Busting inside is like just as effective
[00:32:51] As that's really a fat fucking load all over the back wall
[00:32:58] Sticking your dick into the cervix and coming into the
[00:33:02] Effective not in terms of how they feel because they feel like shit, but condoms suck in terms
[00:33:09] You know you was a great one. I bust inside
[00:33:12] When we're in a condom. Yeah, that's because you have women's common
[00:33:15] It won't mix with the eggs that you have to you have to meet a really masculine woman that has sperm eggs
[00:33:27] One of the tweets someone used as evidence of your misogyny
[00:33:31] What's that you're telling me one of the tweets that someone used as evidence of your misogyny was like oh yeah
[00:33:39] Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, I had one when people were like going off about like this. Here's hard evidence
[00:33:45] And one of them was like it was a tweet where I was like it's fucked up that women have eggs like spiders
[00:34:00] That is a good point. Well, you're little human garbage
[00:34:04] Women are fucking spiders, man. Sorry Claire's asking for the link to the the web series. I didn't realize it was out
[00:34:11] I don't know. I bet it is on the patreon, but I guess it fucked up
[00:34:20] What do you mean she was in it? Oh, Claire. Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry
[00:34:24] Uh, that's probably you know, we put out some hot content and I think you're really gonna be surprised by the level of
[00:34:42] Fuck man. Where you can say I think I'm gonna go home for a whole week. They might be home for a week
[00:34:49] I'm gonna go into Africa dude. Oh fuck whatever bum bum bum bum bum bum bum
[00:35:03] You're not a lot so they were named so that bandie and stav are allowed to sing toto
[00:35:07] That was that band is named in Africa dude. I don't give a shit dude. Yeah after you go to have you survive if you dare bless the reins while you're there
[00:35:15] If you bless those reins you better toe the fucking line back off toto
[00:35:23] I'm doing we I wish they were the only two toto songs. I know
[00:35:28] I wish I knew more so I could continue they wrote human nature by michael jackson. No. Yeah, well, it's human nature for you to
[00:35:44] Tell them that it's human nature. I actually don't like the sex with boys
[00:35:50] Right, I don't know enough toto to like them or not like that. Are they named after the dogs and wisdom of us. They are
[00:35:56] Africa's all right. That's a great something about it seems off though
[00:36:03] Yeah, I don't know that's how toto is to do it. You know what I don't like about
[00:36:08] That song is like and this is gonna sound stupid because it is
[00:36:14] Like just the way the music sounds like thematically they don't align
[00:36:20] You know what I mean? The way the song makes you feel it's got sort of like a milling holly tone
[00:36:24] Yeah, but the lyrics themselves aren't right it fucks with my head
[00:36:28] I know you mean there's songs like that that it's like a real fucking upbeat melody and it's about killing yourself
[00:36:33] Yeah, I understand because there's like an irony there
[00:36:35] But when it's like a melancholy song and it's just about like, you know, it's happy. Yeah, we have yeah, exactly
[00:36:41] They should have you know, it's like somebody came up with a good song and then like this song writer
[00:36:45] Bone it in yeah, right. They were just like yeah
[00:36:49] You know good times and lollipops and rainbow
[00:36:55] Puppy dogs and stick in your dick inside of a flashlight looks like a pussy
[00:37:00] It never runs that it loves that song. Oh, yeah, Frank Sinatra. Yeah
[00:37:14] Just kidding. I would never fucking do that. Don't look at me that way
[00:37:30] Sinatra had a nice run man. Yeah. Yeah, dude. You know, it's so crazy. It's so crazy
[00:37:37] I know you know Sinatra's in man heaven right now looking down at all this me too stuff and being like thank god
[00:37:46] Thank god. We're here in the man cave. Yep him and all the fucking and all those guys raped big time
[00:37:52] Oh, of course it's him man heaven is him winston church. Oh, babe Ruth. I eat off hitler. Okay, sadam who's saying
[00:38:05] Yeah, he was hitler's too gay to be in man heaven
[00:38:09] Yeah, didn't he get his nuts blin off and world around Adam korole is up there
[00:38:13] A lot of people know this but Adam korole would died after they canceled the man show
[00:38:17] And this new guy is postor he's doing a podcast
[00:38:21] You know who the new Adam korole is the guy that used to be andrew wk
[00:38:26] They cycle to be andrew wk you have to become Adam
[00:38:33] Damn like a super duper reactionary right? Oh, yeah, he's a he's like a real libertarian
[00:38:37] Like has like no career really no he actually does well. Yes. Yes. Podcasts. He's actually he was probably big audience
[00:38:49] He was probably on the first the first wave of like self-funding or shit
[00:38:53] Yeah, he doesn't he like him and jimmy, you know, probably never talk like the trajectory
[00:38:59] When the man I would love to see them resentfully
[00:39:02] They're still friends even when the man show was on kimmel was like, you know, like this is all stupid
[00:39:08] I don't like these fees like I don't want to say I resent my audience, but he's like i'm not like a frat guy
[00:39:12] It's like this is just a performance for the show and he's like from where we're sitting
[00:39:15] It's like the same thing we have where right?
[00:39:17] We're intellectual we make nothing but racist and rape jokes, but when our audience does it it's wrong of them
[00:39:25] Because we make money off of it. It's somehow different. It's all right. It's very funny. It shouldn't be judged based on our words
[00:39:30] That's right. It is a really weird thing though to like see clips in the man show now and you're like, how was that on TV?
[00:39:38] It's like it's expensive, but it's like this is so dumb. Yeah, it wasn't Andy
[00:39:44] There's also there's also he jimmy kim will just there was a bit where he's carl Malone and he just didn't
[00:39:51] Body not blackface. They fucking brown his ass out. Yeah. Yeah, he's white muscles
[00:39:57] That's the dream a black muscles dude. That's what I want
[00:40:03] But if we could just harvest them for their bodies and give us their bodies and then fix this that's me too
[00:40:11] In place on a black man's body. Yeah, and then we you know make a skin the right color
[00:40:16] That's right. That's right. You know, but we did it without hurting them. Mm-hmm. You know humane
[00:40:21] Yeah, we could sew all all of their heads together
[00:40:24] Into like a big rat basketball getting like park muscle workout guy physique now. Yeah. Yeah
[00:40:35] Because the guy there's a guy like a block away from me where I walk my dog who just is an outdoor workout man
[00:40:41] The outdoor workout guys are the best when they wear no shirt gloves beanie. Yeah
[00:40:46] Beanie gloves no shirt. Um and then bluetooth speaker
[00:40:50] I like a lot of you want calluses shirt and pull it up. That's cool. So it's like a hood
[00:40:56] Oh, yeah, well, that's like a porn thing. They do too where they take a t-shirt and they put it behind their heads a porn thing
[00:41:02] I I said that important on the train doing that like wearing it like an abaya or something. It's very weird
[00:41:09] Like it's like a they drape it and it's like wire your arms still in the sleeves
[00:41:14] He the outdoor workout guy recently got one of those bane masks. It was like
[00:41:18] a breath suppression or whatever oxygen I wear those to beat off. Yeah
[00:41:25] So when I'm making your own heavy breathing. Yeah, yeah, but a couple weeks ago. I saw him doing uh sprints up and down
[00:41:32] The block on green with his girlfriend piggybacking on him and then she like fell off a couple. Oh, that dude. Yeah, that dude
[00:41:39] Yeah, that guy's holding on. He's jacked. Really? He's insanely jacked. Damn. Yeah job. Otherwise daily mail photos show inside the derail dam track train
[00:41:55] It's like god everything we have in this country is expensive and will kill you
[00:42:00] Why just loved that the daily mail is like a train derailed. I guess what people want to see is
[00:42:05] The inside is the inside of the train where blood is splatter
[00:42:11] Expensive one I guess because it's that one that people take Seattle to Portland. Yeah, yeah
[00:42:17] Them are the real expensive and Amtrak's a fucking yeah, why is it so expensive?
[00:42:21] Because I don't think Amtrak is like ever been profitable
[00:42:24] Really? Yeah, it's subsidized by the federal government. Yeah, it's subsidized by the government and it still cost that much. Yep. Yeah, that sucks
[00:42:31] Well, they don't have any competitor, but also there's no like central control. So there's no price. So it's like
[00:42:38] The worst of both is too expensive if you ask me the problem with the trains is that like they roll up the trash
[00:42:45] Real yeah, well, it's all antiquated technology like you could you could have high speed rail that would like work
[00:42:51] But it has to go through like you know, there's all this like there's so much more red tape with trains because it literally like goes through places
[00:42:58] So like use eminent domain to like you know, build the fucking tracks
[00:43:05] You like you have to rip all that shit out. I told you about when
[00:43:09] Aselex jumped the turnstile and had to pay the pay the fine in the office and he goes in and like
[00:43:17] The walls are covered in posters of like Japanese and German like bullet trains
[00:43:24] The trains are good. It was so sad. I think we should just go back to making the Chinese bill
[00:43:29] It was probably a better train the one to Auschwitz
[00:43:33] You think so? Yeah, no that was cool service and reliability
[00:43:37] Show me one story of one of the holocaust trains derailing and killing people. I think it happened a lot never
[00:43:43] No, never once they give they made sure all of those people got to where they were going safe to be killed
[00:43:47] Oh, no, no, no action will kill these fucking Jews. What a tragedy 400 Jews dead in a train accident
[00:43:56] This is horrible you fucking bitch don't go out
[00:44:00] Stay there you dumb fucking bitch cat. That's how you talk to an animal. Yeah, it feels me. It sends me as the alpha
[00:44:07] Dude Adam. I got it. Where's your boy? Didn't you go in front of that dick pills? I needed some dick pills, dude
[00:44:12] We got dick pills when we went to Mexico, but he lives in Connecticut
[00:44:15] I need I need the plug on some dick pills, man. Just go to Mexico. You can get mad Cialis. I can't go to Mexico
[00:44:23] For the same this is one of the guys that died
[00:44:27] That guy died in the train through vanoatu a small island nation
[00:44:31] Although once their volcano erupted and I couldn't order birth control
[00:44:35] Wait, this is one of the guys that died. So you know
[00:44:45] Reasons of the spectrum. Well, this is this huge amber. I can get fucking island dick pills
[00:44:54] Yeah, they've got like a sexual health section. Awesome. I get my okay great when the internet was all dial up my friend
[00:45:03] Was like watching porn when he was like 13 or something
[00:45:06] And accidentally went through vanoatu and his parents got a bill for like $5,000. Whoa. Yeah, damn
[00:45:16] Yeah, I gotta I gotta you know my penis needs some fucking
[00:45:20] A jolt of your 28 years old stuff. Hey, man. What do you want? I've been putting together some
[00:45:27] It's just a little something to get me going dude once my cock gets hard. It will never stop being hard
[00:45:33] You know, it's like you start you prime the pump somebody died broke that boy dick
[00:45:46] Because it's named after yeah, I was just a guy whose dick was always hard and he was a laughingstock
[00:45:52] I would just tape it to my leg and then when I have to fuck
[00:45:56] Take the tape off hard dick ready to go. Do you go 12 o'clock?
[00:46:02] When it's hard I go I like talking about you're talking about one plane. There's two planes here 11
[00:46:08] Yeah, I'm I don't go 12 o'clock anymore. You need to you mean straight up. I don't go straight out
[00:46:14] Or I just go forward forward I go forward to the left and a little up what stops stop goes cuckoo clock
[00:46:21] His penis is hidden in layers of fat when he's hard a little door opens
[00:46:46] Jfk Oliver stone. Mm-hmm beautiful. Thanks. I wish I remembered more of that monologue. Yeah. I don't remember any of that movie
[00:47:00] That was a tie. That was not a tie. It was not a time count that as a tie, but I think I told Nick previously that I thought it was
[00:47:09] Uh checkmate, I never listened to a single fucking thing. I said, um actually you were like, let me write that down so I can remember
[00:47:15] Damn, I won't ever wish you anything. You think I you think I'm foolish enough to get a record of anything that happens in my life
[00:47:21] No, true. That's what got nixen dude. Yeah, I don't keep no damn records
[00:47:25] That's what got the nazis dude really the record keeping yeah, they were like oh that we think this is fine
[00:47:30] Then they opened up a yeah, I wonder how Lisa Frank's records
[00:47:35] Come on you fucking imbecile. Uh oh sorry shit
[00:47:41] Well, it's a fact it's a historical fact god damn it. I think it was Hewlett Packard. Yeah. Yeah, it was HP
[00:47:57] I heard it was the Packard though gateway remember that this shit was cows. Yeah, what was that about how computers? I did
[00:48:05] But what would it be cow? I did I'm not kidding. I did actually love it. Mom. Can I dress up like a cow?
[00:48:12] No stuff, it was you can't address like
[00:48:15] I know funny if you get that AIDS cancer and you just look like a big old cow
[00:48:26] It makes you black and white. No, you get lesions. It kind of look like cow spots. I don't think I'm gonna get that would be very funny
[00:48:31] I don't think I'm gonna get AIDS. Yeah, you're probably low risk for AIDS. Yeah. Yeah. He's probably incredibly low
[00:48:38] Stop got AIDS from a trolley bright crawler
[00:48:41] You somehow he managed from a way to get a gummy form of AIDS
[00:48:47] I put it into my dickhole. I sound with those little gummy worms, dude. Would you suck gummy worms out of a man's penis?
[00:49:05] Yesterday stop asked me would you fuck a woman that's like got a hot body, but has an old woman's face
[00:49:13] Yeah, would you I mean I would I would yes, I mean would yeah fine. Yeah
[00:49:23] About it, but the stop move would be if you had said no and then he's like what if she had both an old woman's face and an old woman's body
[00:49:35] Would you suck the gummy bears out of a fucking guy's dick? No
[00:49:47] What if it was a flavorless plan going to be transamorous, huh? How's your like oh? Yeah, there's a woman that stuff is a big old
[00:49:59] I would fuck one though. She was hot. I can't say who it is for business
[00:50:05] I would fuck a hot trans woman. I'm on record of saying that because I'm liberal
[00:50:14] Yeah, that's what Hillary said. Jamie. I'm a progressive sure I could arrest the bankers
[00:50:19] But would that make men fuck trans women? No
[00:50:23] You know excuse me for being open-minded
[00:50:29] Yeah, unlike you two fucking bigots. I will big it is fine because it almost feels like you're saying another word
[00:50:39] Yeah, nothing but nothing but a bunch of bigots holding hands
[00:50:44] Yeah, kiss each other last thing I wanted some fucking biggie in my daughter
[00:50:49] And my daughter brings home some fucking big it. I'm I was thinking gay, but this it works for that one too
[00:50:57] Oh, yeah, it works for anyone just like big it my son brings all some fucking big it fucking him in his ass
[00:51:07] That my asshole this is a bigoted eight now soul
[00:51:15] Yeah, so if you're a sexy trans woman how DM the kid, you know, let's solve this problem once and for all together sexually
[00:51:23] You know, but you have to bring dick pills for both of us. I guess
[00:51:34] Your dick better not work better than mine
[00:51:37] You know if we're gonna have any kind of romantic relationship
[00:51:41] That's true that has a whole wrinkle to it that I didn't you know
[00:51:44] Yeah, you gotta worry about who's got the nicer dick
[00:51:47] You never have to worry about wrinkles because you just expand that's right. You're just smooth
[00:51:52] Yeah, well you guys will look horrible. I would say
[00:51:54] Taught rather than smooth both taught and smooth, you know, they go hand in hand
[00:51:59] No, it's like a like kind of like an over inflated kitty. No, I would say both
[00:52:06] Definitely taught and smooth. Yeah, I was grabbing your love handles the other night at the show
[00:52:13] Just for fun. Yeah, feel you from behind and it felt good didn't it
[00:52:17] It would be yeah, actually I kind of understood why that guy said he would fuck your ass
[00:52:22] If you went to Japan some guy in the DM me and he was like, I would fuck you
[00:52:27] Uh, I don't remember exactly what he said, but he was like, I would fuck your I would fuck you so bad
[00:52:37] All go to tokyo so that guy can have sex with you
[00:52:40] I would I can I can get brought into a drifting gang. I would go to tok
[00:52:45] We should do a show in tokyo. I would love to go to tokyo. Let's do it now. We got money
[00:52:49] We should do international show. Well, why not? I would love to go to to tokyo to entertain
[00:52:53] You know, we should do if we got australian fans entertaining
[00:52:57] We got australian fans if you're listening you please harass
[00:53:05] Yes melbourne comedy festival. Yeah, please harass them sending bomb threats and ask them to book nik and stavro
[00:53:12] Yeah, we have from come town. What are you talking about? They don't allow jews in australia. Yes. They do
[00:53:23] Getting my prick getting my no polish than melbin in tasmania jews are not a lot. That is true
[00:53:28] Oh, really? But the rest of the country it's totally chill. Yeah, they already got enough devils in tasmin. Yeah
[00:53:45] Those are the six flags in uh in in uh california
[00:53:50] Yeah, they had a trans tans tasmania level
[00:53:53] Yeah, do you see the picture? We're so excited. I was the trans manian. He fucks it, right?
[00:54:02] Huh tas is never explained. I think I think yeah, he has a wife. Well, there was a spell
[00:54:07] You know, they're tiny. They're tuning. They're all a bit a little bit away
[00:54:12] So they're all fucking each other. They're Canadian money. Yeah, nice
[00:54:18] Say it's so weird that their money is like the looney shut up
[00:54:34] What's going up? What's going on up there in Canada with the money? Okay, that's my question. There is all right
[00:54:41] I'm talking my Canadian friend the other day and I'm like hey pia. Let me get a dollar
[00:54:49] A looney no, they have dollars. Oh, they have dollar. You fucking idiot. I don't know
[00:54:56] Looney's are their coins or some shit. I'm talking to my friend
[00:54:59] Pierre from Canada the other day and I'm like hey
[00:55:06] I'm like slap him on it. I'm like slap my ham
[00:55:12] Yeah, that's it. That's it. That's a little thing from my act
[00:55:18] Proud of you. I was uh, you know the classic Dan Niner bit yesterday
[00:55:24] Yeah, we started doing like Dan Niner, but is jade a kiss. I don't even know how we got to that
[00:55:29] That was why I wonder if cocaine had anything to do with that
[00:55:32] We're at that line of thinking. No, that would be a great sketch dude
[00:55:38] That was that cute. I love fucking just burying myself up my own fucking nose
[00:55:50] Damn, yeah, yeah, did you hear last year about the bombing in Chelsea?
[00:55:57] But I actually heard it was uh somebody trying to charge the new samsung galaxy s8 phone
[00:56:09] Literally waiting for oj material. Yeah, I'm glad did you hear oj simpson raped and murdered his wife
[00:56:17] But I heard actually I heard a rumor that it was uh somebody trying to charge the new sam
[00:56:29] Fuck dude. Yeah, cuz you can do it with any tragedy and it becomes very funny. Mm-hmm
[00:56:41] Damn, I want a pastry dude. Yeah, I want a coffee
[00:56:49] I want to live I want to just let's all move to about the great Riviera, you know, hang out again. Yes, easy pastries
[00:56:56] Let's get a gondola avoid the war effort
[00:57:03] A gondola. Let's use gondola. He's gonna steer it Matteo. Maybe bring Matteo on that. You're awesome
[00:57:09] Yeah, just having speak all all his different languages and yeah
[00:57:21] It was fucking annoying. I like I I gotten like pretty good shape a couple years ago and I remember seeing Matteo
[00:57:28] Well, I never seen him out and Matteo was not like swole. No, anyway shape or four years ago
[00:57:33] He was like I should go back to the gym. I saw him a fucking month later and he put on like 40 pounds. Yeah
[00:57:38] He's a lot of muscle his sisters like a bodybuilder. Yeah, I know she like told them all the shit
[00:57:45] He had a system. Well, you know, I didn't do steroids. Well, you're saying that Matteo is on steroids
[00:57:51] No, if you drink cum there's so much testosterone. No, I guess his like sister like helped him out. I'm careful with the
[00:57:58] Yeah, like a nutrition plan forum or something. Yeah, but still but it was literally like a month later
[00:58:04] I saw him in moon tower and I was like what?
[00:58:06] Yeah, yeah, you have a bad body, dude. Yeah, I know I wish I was
[00:58:15] Which had an incestuous relationship with my big strong Russian sister
[00:58:21] Julie events acknowledge me on instagram. I saw that on your birthday. Yeah, I threatened to fight some man from zanzibar for hitting on
[00:58:29] She liked it. That's all that's all russians. No, dude. Yeah, that's how you win a Russian world
[00:58:36] I like it when we hit other men for me. Yeah, yeah, you should kill someone
[00:58:41] You should get married. So it could beat up both of us me and zanzibar, you know, Tommy
[00:58:49] What maybe she can't fight, you know, maybe she's just the mussels are just for show enough to go
[00:58:54] Yeah, the pinnacle of legion of skanks will be the episode where lewis fights Julie events
[00:59:02] Dude, I will take any challenge. Yo guys tune in next week. I'm gonna be fighting nick maulin's wife
[00:59:10] Legion of skanks 2020 with loose if a woman challenged him to a fight he'd have to accept
[00:59:16] He's a great today. Yeah, those are his rules. Yeah, handicap
[00:59:19] We should have a woman fight at him. That would be actually awesome
[00:59:23] We should have adam turn into a woman and then fight his sister
[00:59:27] That shouldn't fight my sister. Yeah, she fuck you up. No, I kick her ass
[00:59:32] I remember seeing one time one of my friends growing up like he always had like a nice relationship with his sister
[00:59:38] Then one time they was like a dispute over the tv and he like just beat the shit out of her in front of us
[00:59:44] She's like crying. He like metered in the stomach. Yeah, yeah
[00:59:47] And she was like on the ground crying. We're like what the fuck yeah, and uh, but they were siblings
[00:59:55] My sister and she is acceptable. Yeah, you're allowed to be the shit out of you for sure
[00:59:59] You are definitely allowed to be the shit out of your shit. No, you're not not like a brother. Yes
[01:00:04] You're being sexist you pretty like all in one night
[01:00:08] And I don't have to be like a shitty to him and like she push him around
[01:00:12] And he like I I grabbed him like around the neck
[01:00:17] Like in like a headlock to like no game or whatever and he like suddenly like moved his whole body forward
[01:00:24] And like flipped me over his shoulder. Oh, hell yeah
[01:00:27] And I landed on a glass tabletop that just shattered that rules and he he was like 15
[01:00:33] He had like gone through puberty like six hours ago. I'll add ones and he was like
[01:00:36] I am so sorry. Like he had no idea that it happened or whatever. I'm like, it's okay
[01:00:44] You could only fight your sister if she's an older sister
[01:00:47] If it's if you if you're an older brother and you have a younger sister you can't
[01:00:52] I think you shouldn't beat the shit out of people that are smaller and weaker than you
[01:00:56] I used to tell my sister. I wish she was a boy so I could get better at fighting
[01:01:02] If she had well, yeah, I shouldn't like hit women in general like even if a woman was bigger than me
[01:01:06] I wouldn't hit her but if you're 13 and she's you'd have to be like a
[01:01:11] Monsturously huge woman, right? It's like there's I know that there's no way I could win the fight
[01:01:15] Right, right, right, right, right, you know, I'm doing this for honor for glory throw yourself at her like a pebble
[01:01:21] Waiting to be smacked down right exactly. I got my my friend lulu is like an enormous
[01:01:26] Lulu has like physically defended me from other women throwing punches at my face. Lulu is a bruiser name. Yeah
[01:01:33] Lulu sounds like a gorilla with a hat a little hat on. Yeah, they taught her something that's basically yeah
[01:01:46] I would wish I want to fight women. Yeah, you ever punched a woman? No, what the fuck I was kidding
[01:01:54] You ever punch anybody I've punched you've never punched anybody in your life. I've punched no your hands would be broken if that
[01:02:00] Permanently here punch my fist. I have punch punch my fist right now as hard as you can when you want to punch your fist punch
[01:02:06] It my fist right now. I'm not gonna punch knuckles. Do it. Do it. I don't play blurry control of the collision here
[01:02:12] You can decide to make it. I don't want to punch your fist. Just tap it. No, you don't punch a fist
[01:02:16] Isn't a place you punch tap it bitch. No, you punch a stomach. Go ahead punch in you punch him go ahead punch my face right now
[01:02:25] I don't want to punch. I don't want to do that. Adam you don't understand there would be like a whole week of him not making fun of you
[01:02:31] No, that's not true. It's gonna be at worst. Okay. No, it's gonna get worse punch and bitch
[01:02:36] I'm not gonna punch you out of it. If you can make if you can make contact
[01:02:41] You make contact. I won't move my head at all punch and bitch. I would only punch you for honor
[01:02:48] I swore an oath. Okay. I swore an oath at a certain point in my life to be that I would only use violence for honor
[01:02:54] Okay, and this is not an honorable use of course every week on this podcast. No, I have no amount of honor
[01:03:02] I have a tremendous no one honors you at all
[01:03:05] A lot of people honor me. No honor this dick. I have like six friends honor this dick in a nice fucking chibata
[01:03:11] I would be your friends than anyone. I know yeah, you do. I don't have any friends
[01:03:17] You have me and soft. I know that's literally my only friend
[01:03:20] I'm not friends with anyone from jewish summer camp. They all think actually
[01:03:24] Literally are I know I'm friends with two people from camp
[01:03:27] And one of them went to a wedding where there's a bunch of people from jewish summer camp that were that was there this weekend
[01:03:33] And they all sit think they come town is anti-Semitic
[01:03:43] Which is honestly the best possible scenario for me is that like I like your new jersey friends to keep these people out of my
[01:03:49] Like a time capsule those are like college friends
[01:03:51] They're like the same age as us, but they're like jews from 50 years ago
[01:03:57] New Jersey is like a time capsule. I think they have like some kind of old world quality about them
[01:04:03] Like a guy that walked in he's like zell the dropped her cell phone. Hello to you too. Oh, yes
[01:04:20] That's that's what stopped these I need that dude. Yes brownies to get you are
[01:04:29] My cock is like dripping out of my fucking clothes
[01:04:32] Yeah, holy shit, that would be awesome. No, I mean I think that oh my god if someone can make that please
[01:04:41] No, but it totally rules that these people I don't want to have in my life at all and are super annoying think I'm anti-Semitic
[01:04:47] No, yeah, you are anti-Semitic. I know do not grab my cock stop. It's penis suck
[01:04:53] Suck my man all the stuff. I'm ready to go now. Are you actually pretty hard? Yeah
[01:04:59] Yeah, did you guys used to get uh boners in the car in the way to school like every morning not every morning
[01:05:08] No what I remember what I remember is getting the bus is getting hard right before the period would end
[01:05:13] And I'm like god and you can't get up. Yeah, you can't get up
[01:05:17] Wasn't too like I didn't know that you weren't supposed to wear only basketball shorts and sweatpants until I was 27
[01:05:23] Yeah, yeah, yeah, you could actually like yeah hold your shit down. I do remember going to the grocery store with my dad
[01:05:29] One time when I was in the car and we got there and I was like I'm just gonna wait in the car because I was like just like
[01:05:37] Because I started thinking about like just a pair of tits. Yeah, yeah, yeah
[01:05:40] Yeah, you started thinking about an art girls armpit
[01:05:45] It wasn't even that dude. It wasn't even thinking about sex stuff. Just boners used to just fucking
[01:05:50] Out of nowhere. I'm so glad that doesn't happen anymore. That sucked. Yeah, no, I think that's funny
[01:05:56] No, it's like you have literally no control over your own body
[01:05:59] I don't know if it seems like that's true
[01:06:04] You should be able to just sort of exist in a cocoon until you're like 26
[01:06:09] And then you come out and then uh yeah, that would be the ideal situation
[01:06:15] Being a parent of a teenager must really fucking suck
[01:06:18] Yeah, they're gross and imagine if you had a roommate that left calm everywhere
[01:06:23] You weren't allowed to bring it up because it would embarrass them
[01:06:29] Yeah, that is what living with elders is like
[01:06:36] Scott, do you know where my cum is being a parent does suck dick though
[01:06:45] You know just reading I'm reading responses
[01:06:58] TJ miller not only fucks clowns, but he's also a transphobic asshole who might want nothing more than to strangle with my bare hands
[01:07:05] He fucks clowns is a criticism. I don't know what that means. What the fuck does that mean?
[01:07:09] Yeah, they're calling the woman who said they're calling the abuse to the clown
[01:07:22] Every the alleged violence he committed didn't you have a brain tumor? Is he gonna use that as the excuse?
[01:07:27] Did he yeah, you like uh, yeah like collapsed during a pitch meeting. No, he was doing the yogi bear movie in Australia
[01:07:37] That's the worst sense I've ever heard. Yeah, yeah almost died. No, he doesn't have like septhen that actual brain damage
[01:07:44] Fuck, but I don't know. I mean, it's like you look at those guys with cte and it's like yeah, they they murdered their whole family
[01:07:50] And then they're like, oh, yeah, I guess it's bad. Uh, Chris Ben. Well when you mess with someone's brain
[01:07:55] Yeah, yeah, they might do weird shit when they get
[01:08:00] Well, should I get lobotomized? I think that'd be good for the show electric shock. You should get a vasectomy
[01:08:06] Yeah, for the show. It might be a good candidate for really. What is it? Is that really fixed?
[01:08:13] Sometimes and they literally don't know why what they just zap your shit. Yeah, but you should do it. That's what medicine was
[01:08:23] See what the leeches and electric shocks
[01:08:25] I will get electric shock. I would I think I would like that life
[01:08:29] You know to be just committed to a mental institution in the 60s and just catatonic
[01:08:33] Yeah, just have my brain fried by doctors and you would like that. Yeah, I think that would be a nice slide
[01:08:40] I mean, I'm not sure what those excess rates are
[01:08:43] But like for people who have chronic depression not not mania or anything else
[01:08:49] Electrashock therapy has had like surprisingly good results
[01:08:54] Yeah, and now of course they can like knock you out. I guess so it doesn't you're not horrible
[01:08:58] Well, masturbating for women was originally invented to help hysteria hysteria. I think we should bring that back doctors
[01:09:05] He's the finger like a woman. Yeah, that's cool
[01:09:17] Whatever they were medical they were considered medical. Yeah. Yeah, just imagine like a doctor in 1800s coming home and the wife's like
[01:09:24] You know like you're dinner is cold and it's like
[01:09:26] I have been eating pussy for like nine hours. I don't need this shit right now for this shit
[01:09:43] You're gonna come at me with this nonsense
[01:09:46] That'd be a pretty sweet job. Oh, yeah, just get like getting to eat out
[01:09:51] 57 year old women who just drown all their children in there. Yeah in the town bathtub. Mm-hmm. Yeah
[01:10:10] Eating on when we eat on Mike. Oh, yeah, I'm holding the mic away. Yeah, I know you do that even when you're speaking
[01:10:16] I know I'm gonna go see Star Wars, but again guys if you're around the DC metropolitan area. Oh, yeah
[01:10:27] And again, we I guess we we forgot to do it, but we should be plugging the patreon. Oh, yeah
[01:10:31] Getting of the episode last week. I think was the first time we did it since we've never mentioned it
[01:10:36] Yeah, if you listen to the show regularly, there's a bonus episode every week. Mm-hmm on patreon.com such comtown really good
[01:10:44] Um, maybe me and Adam should post the bonuses
[01:10:49] Yeah, you should on twitter. Yeah, but we had a lot of new signups because people just didn't know about it. Anyways, uh, you guys are fun. Thanks