Cum Town | Regular | 07/21/2016
[00:00:51] Because especially because the stakes are so low with this.
[00:01:04] No, because somebody's gonna criticize us
[00:01:06] for saying retard before we actually said it.
[00:01:16] When you guys say that, it's gonna bother me.
[00:01:30] And he was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
[00:01:47] Eight of them come up to you at a show.
[00:01:49] I can't believe I made fun of one-legged Jews.
[00:01:52] So you have to just kind of write it off and go,
[00:01:54] I'm going to bother some people saying this,
[00:01:56] because there's no way they're never going to hear you.
[00:02:00] Have you had a one-legged Jew experience?
[00:02:05] Who's, like, do you get a lot of, like, hate on Twitter and stuff?
[00:02:14] I mean, it's funny with Twitter and social media,
[00:02:16] because a lot of them come off like these hardcore critics
[00:02:20] But it's like a lot of them are just literally,
[00:02:23] they need the same thing college students need with safe space.
[00:02:29] And they've gotten mad at me when I've said I despise their anonymity.
[00:02:33] Because it's like, look, we're not in fucking communist China.
[00:02:36] All right, you're not criticizing the regime where you're going to be thrown in jail.
[00:02:41] You want to weigh in, but you don't want to weigh in as yourself.
[00:02:46] So I get a lot of it, but I kind of take it with a grain of salt.
[00:02:48] But it doesn't mean it's not legit criticism either.
[00:02:50] Like I did the chip animation and some people really loved it and a lot of people hated it.
[00:02:55] And you have to weed through hateful comments, like,
[00:02:57] because a lot of them are just being cuts.
[00:03:01] So you have to like weed through and go, okay, well, that was a really smart criticism.
[00:03:08] But let's say between reading that, you have to read your fucking piece of shirt.
[00:03:12] It's like, dude, what you had to say was this is why I didn't like it.
[00:03:15] And I actually would have given weight to what you just said.
[00:03:18] Well, I feel like, I mean, half of those people are just mad about that, the schism, the
[00:03:26] I don't understand taking sides with like the end of two grown men's friendship.
[00:03:33] It's a weird thing, you know, it's like, that's basically what it is to get divorced.
[00:03:39] Well, dad gave me a better birthday last year.
[00:03:44] They look at it like, and I can only speak from what I've heard from them.
[00:03:48] But a lot of them come from a place of like, this was a show that it was a different fan
[00:03:53] It was a very aggressive fan base and very.
[00:03:55] Well, I remember when I was a teenager, it was like, wasn't like a bit like a pest
[00:04:00] bit to like blow a fucking air horn and like a local news reporter's ear.
[00:04:05] No, that was the one that ended that bit actually.
[00:04:12] Yeah, it was just about being stupid and getting their name out there.
[00:04:16] When their show ended, people really did split down the middle because it was frustrating
[00:04:22] for them to see this thing that they love so much gone.
[00:04:26] Like one day was there and one day it was gone.
[00:04:29] And then when Opie and myself didn't go with Anthony, that's when a lot of the anger came
[00:04:34] They were angry immediately that we didn't quit.
[00:04:40] And then when we re-upped with Sirius and didn't go with Ant, I always kind of held out a secret
[00:04:44] hope that there would be some kind of reconciliation.
[00:04:49] But as time went on, it became apparent that it would not be.
[00:04:52] The thing I don't understand about the side taking thing is like, have you never had a
[00:04:58] I mean, everybody, anybody I know knows somebody that knows two different people that fucking
[00:05:05] And they can be friends with both of them.
[00:05:06] And that's like a social dynamic that everyone has to navigate.
[00:05:09] And then these people just don't understand that.
[00:05:10] I think what bothers them is they looked at it like these guys are very, and let me see
[00:05:16] these guys meaning me too, are very real people.
[00:05:18] They tell us how things are for them and they tell us what life is or how they see life.
[00:05:23] And then all of a sudden this, as you said, schism, this thing happens and it's not the
[00:05:29] They're like these fucking guys were fake.
[00:05:31] They didn't tell us that they didn't like each other.
[00:05:35] But to me, I mean, I was there every day, so I saw a lot of it.
[00:05:39] But there were things that came out afterwards that I wasn't even aware of.
[00:05:43] You know, I didn't know exactly how Opie felt.
[00:05:47] There were times where he said things were good and there were times where he said things
[00:05:50] So I think the fans, if I'm sitting there and I'm not 100% sure, like there's been a
[00:05:55] couple things that have happened in the time since the show ended that surprised me.
[00:06:01] But then the fans also have to be realistic too, it's like Keith Richards and Mick Jagger
[00:06:08] You know, it kissed him like each other for years.
[00:06:10] Aussie and Sabbath, it didn't get along at one point.
[00:06:13] It's how it is in a creative collaboration.
[00:06:16] The difference is when you're hearing music, you're not hearing real opinions on a real
[00:06:23] You're not hearing guys, you're not hearing the fucking recording sessions, where they
[00:06:28] So it's just a different dynamic with talk radio, man.
[00:06:33] But the only thing that bothers me about the fan's reaction is the way they've kind
[00:06:40] And it's like, man, we made you laugh for fucking 10 years.
[00:06:42] The guys that hated us all along, that's different.
[00:06:45] But it's like all of a sudden to have such vitriolic anger towards guys that made you,
[00:06:49] like I've been pissed off at people who I enjoyed too.
[00:06:52] But I didn't get that vengefully angry at them.
[00:06:55] I guess it's kind of like a finding out wrestling is fake sort of thing.
[00:07:04] I mean, what you saw, I mean, we were trying to be funny.
[00:07:07] And there was a lot of it they saw before it ended too.
[00:07:10] But yeah, maybe it is along those lines.
[00:07:12] They just feel deceived to a certain point.
[00:07:15] But it's like I have to let more of my personal life hang out than fucking almost anybody
[00:07:22] It's like, what do you fucking guys want?
[00:07:23] I've told you more about myself than most performers would have ever told you about
[00:07:29] I told you in times when there was a slow news day.
[00:07:38] You have to, you don't even use your real names when you yell at us.
[00:07:41] I've told you things that most guys would never have told you.
[00:07:43] That's like a funny comparison to like the band thing.
[00:07:46] You know, like I always have had a lot of respect for like the Brian Setzer Orchestra
[00:07:51] that he could manage all those people that that band didn't break up.
[00:07:55] You have that many people and they never had an issue.
[00:08:01] But you know, how many how many musicians are there in that band?
[00:08:08] Do you think like work like Philharmonic orchestras have like the first share violin
[00:08:18] They're just like a lot of players' wife.
[00:08:22] It probably happens all the time and they just boot them and you never know.
[00:08:27] So you'll never see them coming and going.
[00:08:30] You know, I would love to see a show boating like cello player.
[00:08:37] You get no mo, I don't know, fucking just comes in makeup.
[00:08:43] See, I don't know shit about the orchestra.
[00:08:53] I had tube, I don't think tubas are in orchestras, but I said it.
[00:09:00] Maybe the one guy shows up with a tube because he's better at that and they're like, we
[00:09:10] Just fucking, I realize it's coffee that does to me.
[00:09:14] So it's like, ugh, that fucking thing you get.
[00:09:18] Yeah, you're like a diet and exercise guy now, right?
[00:09:20] Yeah, but I've been eating shit lately so I get a self-hatred immediately.
[00:09:23] So over like 10 years ago, you were never fat, but you were really-
[00:09:36] I was like, I was probably around the same weight you were or like the same, like when
[00:09:40] I was like 17, I was like a little bit heavier, but I was like, I'm not fat.
[00:09:44] So yeah, I don't know what like motivated that.
[00:09:46] We were doing tough crowd back in like, this is like 2002.
[00:09:50] Me and Nick DiPolo had an argument in the, you know, far be it from Nick to say something
[00:09:55] We were in the, we were in the writers room fighting.
[00:10:00] And when he said that, I was like, oh my God, that's something people use at me now when
[00:10:05] I must have really put a lot of weight on.
[00:10:06] And I still fluctuated up and down for years after that.
[00:10:12] But I found, I was looking through my old hard drive last night trying to find something
[00:10:19] And I saw a picture of myself actually on camera with Jimmy Garofolo for the first tough
[00:10:27] We taped those first eight in November of 2002.
[00:10:31] And I remember I think I was in for the first eight and oh, is I fucking horrible.
[00:10:39] I think I hit 181 at one point if I remember.
[00:10:48] What was your what was your fat guy vice?
[00:10:49] Did you have a specific thing that you did that you just went crazy on food?
[00:10:57] So I think that was where I just started eating more and I wasn't exercising.
[00:11:00] I was doing this thing for a long time when we got kicked off the radio, which was again
[00:11:04] 2002, 2003 where I was watching the sopranos and eating fruit until four in the morning.
[00:11:09] I'd go to the diner and get this giant fruit plate with what comes with fruit cottage cheese.
[00:11:16] And I didn't realize that that was all fattening and sugar.
[00:11:26] I mean, there was other stuff I was eating.
[00:11:28] That was just that was like I was thinking I was being healthy at two o'clock in the morning.
[00:11:32] Cottage cheese is like a great, you know, post sleep or pre sleep meal.
[00:11:42] I tried to get I tried to be healthy by ordering a salad yesterday and I was like, oh, like
[00:11:46] a chicken salad and it was just like I just ordered from a place I never got.
[00:11:50] And it was like four pieces of lettuce and just a chicken cutlet on top of it.
[00:11:54] And I was like, well, I guess I ate a salad today.
[00:11:56] Yeah, you got to ask for a roll chicken.
[00:12:00] Tell me you're fucking worse than me when I order.
[00:12:03] I order everything exactly how I want it.
[00:12:11] And I was like, could I get like a just a chicken salad?
[00:12:13] And I was like, would like, what do you mean?
[00:12:18] I'm like, yeah, no, yeah, that's literally, yeah, that's what I said.
[00:12:28] And then they bring the and it was chicken salad.
[00:12:34] And it was a giant scoop, like the size of a half a fucking
[00:12:42] You thought I just wanted like a, you know, three pounds of
[00:12:49] No, you got to ask for a regular salad.
[00:12:53] And I'll tell you get a word like, it's chicken salad.
[00:12:55] They're bringing that fucking, you know,
[00:13:14] I guess it's just weird to think that like, because you
[00:13:16] seem like, you know, very like, not obsessive, but like
[00:13:19] detail oriented and you got to schedule and you got to like,
[00:13:21] you know, keep things going all the time.
[00:13:23] So the fitness stuff and like the diet stuff makes sense in the
[00:13:29] I don't like what was your thing before diet and exercise?
[00:13:33] I mean, you know, I was, I, as much as I talk about escorts and
[00:13:35] stuff, I really don't do that much at this point.
[00:13:39] But back then, I was in a dramatic depression.
[00:13:41] I was doing like fucking dominatrix's every night escorts
[00:13:45] every night, you know, till three o'clock in the morning.
[00:13:52] So I'd go to bed at six in the morning, seven in the morning,
[00:13:54] get up at two or three in the afternoon.
[00:13:59] I'd write the night before we get up at like noon at the fucking
[00:14:02] earliest and then kind of go sluggish to work.
[00:14:04] So it's like there was no time to exercise.
[00:14:06] After that, it would be right to work and do gigs and up all
[00:14:09] So now getting up in the morning kind of helps you be more
[00:14:13] So that's why I hate it, but I like it for that reason.
[00:14:26] I've been sober for a couple of years and I don't know why.
[00:14:28] There's times where I was like, hey, smoking pile will be
[00:14:31] I learned from the people who, is that too loud that thing?
[00:14:40] But then I look at people who are wrecking their careers with
[00:14:45] Because I'm the guy who wrecks his career with it.
[00:14:46] Joe Rogan fucking eats pot and then practices jujitsu.
[00:14:51] I'm not the guy that fucking eats pot and then succeeds.
[00:14:54] I don't have to go to pot and does nothing.
[00:14:57] So I mean, it's kind of just like, you know, I just haven't
[00:15:00] had fun in the last three and a half years.
[00:15:03] I guess things have gone better for me.
[00:15:05] You used to live with a clown rape victim from the army in
[00:15:13] You worked at a, you were a part-time telemarketer for a
[00:15:19] You don't think your life is better, did you quit drinking?
[00:15:22] No, no, I look worse for not knowing shit about the
[00:15:26] I worked for the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra.
[00:15:29] I worked in the basement at nights and I would call old
[00:15:32] people and beg them for money for the orchestra.
[00:15:36] And I lived with a clown that had PTSD from when he was
[00:15:42] So he would like fucking wake up in the middle of the night
[00:15:44] hyperventilating and screaming and then turn his clown
[00:16:01] He rushed to clown fraternities and they were.
[00:16:02] But you know, and it's shitty, I know, like, you know,
[00:16:03] believe victims or whatever, but I don't think it just didn't
[00:16:08] Yeah, those times where victims are lying too.
[00:16:10] I mean, just the victims or they say they're victims.
[00:16:12] You know, everyone's not a victim because they say they
[00:16:14] I mean, the story, the way he told it is like he was
[00:16:17] coming out of surgery at like age 47 and he like one of the
[00:16:22] orderlies in the hospital looked creepy and then he had like a
[00:16:25] flashback to like, oh, yeah, when I was in the army, I got raped.
[00:16:28] But there's, you know, repressed memories is kind of like a
[00:16:32] A lot of that's just like the suggestion, you know, on the
[00:16:37] I know cases where it's really come back, you know, where your
[00:16:41] mind shuts down and fucking because you're protecting the
[00:16:44] person, protecting someone who abused you or whatever,
[00:16:51] You do that bit though about your friend with the star.
[00:16:53] The Star Wars cards or the Star Wars toys?
[00:16:56] Oh, yeah, my friend who got, I think, molested by the fucking
[00:17:00] security guard and pulled his dick out to show him that he
[00:17:06] Came back with the Star Wars Corvette's White Trash
[00:17:12] But I didn't repress that or wipe it out.
[00:17:13] It might just not have to be out of that.
[00:17:21] Well, it's like the, say, Tana, Gritul.
[00:17:23] What do you just being thorough, honestly?
[00:17:24] This is Tana, Gritul abuse scandals in the 80s.
[00:17:27] They have all these kids where they're like, and then did he,
[00:17:31] like, and you can say no, but did he bend you over and fuck you?
[00:17:35] And then the kid's like, yes, they're just like playing with
[00:17:37] a truck and not even looking at the investigator.
[00:17:43] But there was like one, if you watch capturing the Freedmen's,
[00:17:46] I think there's like one guy that's like, no, he did it.
[00:17:50] Yeah, that's a very weird thing with repressed memories
[00:17:53] and childhood, like the McMarten Preschool.
[00:18:01] Look up the McMarten Preschool with the power of suggestion.
[00:18:03] A bunch of kids said that these teachers molested them.
[00:18:06] In hindsight, it looks like they really didn't.
[00:18:09] Well, that's what that's what, yeah, but this case was.
[00:18:17] One of the victims are one of the Freedmen's.
[00:18:22] I'm like, did you ask him if he did it?
[00:18:27] It would be great if you just conspired with everyone in there.
[00:18:30] It was there that night to be like, he raped all of us.
[00:18:42] I don't think we knew he was there while I was on.
[00:18:43] Or I don't remember if I knew he was on.
[00:18:47] I'm going to open my wallet, my washer thing,
[00:18:49] because that's going to beep in the noise.
[00:19:01] I want to ask about dominatrixes probably next in a second.
[00:19:09] We probably could have gotten more into Baltimore
[00:19:12] that weird period of time in Baltimore, where you were a big time
[00:19:17] I mean, I was just a big time alcoholic for years.
[00:19:20] Yeah, well, that's but I knew you then when you were.
[00:19:26] This is a nice little mid podcast check in.
[00:19:33] We usually do it in your shitty office,
[00:19:36] where I'm thinking about getting all that free cereal.
[00:19:40] That woman so badly wanted to kick me out last week.
[00:19:50] He has this fucking dumb job at this office in the town.
[00:19:56] They're trying to do a comedy site, but the rest of it is all clickbait.
[00:20:01] They all do just the worst parts of the internet.
[00:20:04] They're just ripping off anything that's successful.
[00:20:09] And the sad part is that's what makes the most money.
[00:20:13] It's just taking other ideas and retreading them.
[00:20:16] Most of the people there are just coders.
[00:20:21] And it's like, yeah, the company is like, what are their main things?
[00:20:24] Like programmatic ads sales or something.
[00:20:29] And then I think what their main thing is they find media outlets or websites.
[00:20:37] And then they tailor ad content for those sites.
[00:20:41] But then to make more money, they said, well, why don't we have our own proprietary sites?
[00:20:46] And then one of them is like an onion or like, yeah.
[00:20:49] And then they're turning into a comedy.
[00:20:51] What matters is that most of the people that are perfect, like, you know, real people
[00:20:56] And then we come in every once in a while with dog t-shirts and Mullins wearing a Mountain
[00:21:02] And they're just trying to kick us out every day.
[00:21:05] And it's like, clearly we don't belong there.
[00:21:07] Clearly, this is, you know, we're the people that are just working for the comedy site
[00:21:11] and doing a come podcast in one of their conference rooms.
[00:21:14] But I'm surprised with the internet instead of there's so many people that work out of
[00:21:20] Like I'm surprised that I used to that dynamic of, you know, somebody who's a different
[00:21:24] I mean, it's just, that's not that uncommon with the fucking web.
[00:21:27] Well, it's mostly because like I'm screaming in the kitchen or whatever.
[00:21:30] She got mad at me because Adam said that like Adam told this story about, he's like
[00:21:35] the other guy we did this podcast with.
[00:21:45] He's watching like Game of Thrones with some girl and the episode ends and then the girl
[00:21:49] is like, it's just so cool that we like all get to be a part of this like cultural event
[00:21:56] She's referring to Game of Thrones as like a cultural movement.
[00:21:59] And then, you know, we were like making fun of her in the kitchen or whatever.
[00:22:02] And I was like, yeah, like, you know how like Dr. Martin Luther King wrote Game of Thrones
[00:22:08] and the receptionist is, it was like, she's like a black lady.
[00:22:11] And I saw her like fucking snap and look at me as soon as I said, Dr. Martin Luther King.
[00:22:18] You're loading up on their breakfast cereal that they have there and eating and drinking
[00:22:30] I want to ask you this about, because you know about like, I guess what prostitutes and
[00:22:34] stuff because somebody told me, do you know what Finn Dom is?
[00:22:40] Somebody told me yesterday that that's not real.
[00:22:46] Of course there's guys that I used to date at Dom and Atrix.
[00:22:51] I'm not saying it's a big fetish, but there's a lot of guys that love opening their wallet.
[00:22:55] It's probably more wishful thinking on the part of the Dom and Atrix is still.
[00:22:59] But there are guys that love that type of humiliation.
[00:23:08] You know, I need to fucking ask on my face.
[00:23:13] When at Dom and Atrix, they just treat you bad.
[00:23:16] And then, look, do whatever you want at first.
[00:23:23] Well, at the end of the day, with the FINDOM shit, you're still beating off.
[00:23:26] And if you're beating off, then it's like a fantasy.
[00:23:28] And then it's like, why don't you just fantasize about someone taking your money?
[00:23:37] Well, because eight is what I need now.
[00:23:41] You got to keep upping the ante a little bit.
[00:23:47] I mean, I get it, but it's stupid to me.
[00:23:49] No, because there's this girl that hates Kurt, went after Kurt, who just like it's not
[00:23:56] And she does FINDOM now, I guess, because she couldn't get a job writing.
[00:24:00] But yeah, and someone was telling me that there's no way that she actually has a job
[00:24:09] But online, where she just like texts you like, fuck you, pig.
[00:24:13] And then apparently men give her money for that.
[00:24:17] Yeah, it's a weird thing with there are guys that like to be like, if you would have told
[00:24:21] me at one point in my life that I would ever get turned on by a woman putting her feet
[00:24:25] in my face while I jerked off, I would have thought you were nutty.
[00:24:33] I met when I get my extra effort who was nominated.
[00:24:40] Yeah, it was one of those things where you just get bored and you move on.
[00:24:43] So financial donations, probably one of those things where guys who love just having hookers
[00:24:47] to open your wallet or dominate you, just open your fucking wallet worthless.
[00:24:53] It's just a way of feeling worthless and used and shitty.
[00:24:56] Probably guys like judges and fucking hedge fund guys and guys that get whatever they want.
[00:25:01] And now I have to worry about that, that I might turn into one of those guys.
[00:25:04] Your dad at age like 60 got into trains and it was so fucking embarrassing.
[00:25:10] I hope he didn't want to be the middle.
[00:25:17] Well, no, I'm really like, he's like 63rd birthday.
[00:25:24] And he's like, yeah, my wife took me up to some bullshit town in Pennsylvania to go see
[00:25:30] And then he's like got videos of the train on his phone.
[00:25:32] I swear to God, I thought you meant threesomes.
[00:25:34] No, no, I swear to God, I thought you meant threesomes.
[00:25:40] It's like, yeah, yeah, look at all trains.
[00:25:43] Yeah, no, it became like a railroad fan at age 63 after like I had spent 15 years making
[00:25:50] Your dad turned autistic at 63 and those are just in your jeans.
[00:25:56] Yeah, he likes enjoys looking at trains.
[00:26:04] So his wife doesn't let him do anything.
[00:26:07] And one time he used to, he used to like wake up at like four, like three 45, four o'clock
[00:26:13] in the morning and like go out into like where his like laptop is by the kitchen area in
[00:26:18] the apartment and like quietly look at model cars on eBay, like slot cars and stuff that
[00:26:26] His wife wouldn't let him have anything, but he would just look at these collectibles that
[00:26:30] he would have if he could, but he had to sneak out into the computer area to do that.
[00:26:40] She was a nightmare when I was a teenager, but like now that I'm an adult and she doesn't
[00:26:43] have any control over me, she's a lot of fun.
[00:26:46] She's like, we went to my grandmother's funeral like two months ago and she's like, you know,
[00:26:50] well, I got to stop to get and she gets those little like, you know, those tiny liquor
[00:26:57] I'm like, fuck you to everybody and everyone's like, horrified.
[00:27:02] I think it's, once you're out of it, it's fun to watch my distance.
[00:27:10] You're like one of those codependents who was like, Oh, you know, she's just grieving,
[00:27:14] you know, or is he's, it's not it was his mom.
[00:27:30] We fucking know it's been together forever now.
[00:27:33] But at certain points, like what are you going to do?
[00:27:35] When you're like, you know, 60, whatever.
[00:27:37] What are you going to start a new life?
[00:27:43] We can always go out and find somebody.
[00:27:45] If you're like in your fucking late 50s, or like 60s with two kids, you know, you don't
[00:27:48] have a shot if you're like 63 years old and you just like trains.
[00:27:59] You're knocking a lot of pussy off the auction blind when you fucking come with that.
[00:28:03] The only woman he can fucker the women that are tied up on the tracks.
[00:28:10] So usually we take a break right around now.
[00:28:17] Just because it like offers people like a split.
[00:28:18] If you do like a 30 minute chunk, people listen to 30 minutes.
[00:28:30] We do like a patreon where people can just like like donate.
[00:28:41] My friends started a podcast like two months ago and that's where I got the idea for the
[00:28:44] patreon thing and I checked yesterday to see how much money they're making off donations
[00:29:08] They do like they know about fucking serious journalism and shit like that.
[00:29:15] We're not like we don't really know stuff.
[00:29:18] We barely can keep a conversation going.
[00:29:23] And either show here's the thing either will decide like if we're having a good time
[00:29:27] we'll continue or like we'll just get Adam for the second.
[00:29:39] Well, Shasta McMaster McMaster is saying that so you want to brofish?
[00:29:51] The WWF's big show at Sydney Margolis guest star on the series premiere.
[00:29:59] You're going to trade in that little digger for a steam shovel baby.
[00:30:01] A full hour beginning at eight seven central UPM Tuesday.
[00:30:07] Okay, we're back and Jim Norton is gone.
[00:30:15] No, we recorded a second half with Jim and then the you know the recorder shut off because
[00:30:22] I didn't change the batteries and I think there was like a rape over.
[00:30:27] We talked about a bunch of shit for too long.
[00:30:31] It's probably better that it got erased.
[00:30:34] Shut off and then I didn't know what to do.
[00:30:35] So I panicked and just pretended like it was still on for a while.
[00:30:42] Because at the end you were like, Oh, no, it doesn't work.
[00:30:46] But hopefully Jim won't listen to this.
[00:30:52] I don't think he even knows the name of the podcast didn't ask didn't at all.
[00:30:56] But yeah, no, we really fucked that one up.
[00:30:59] No, we should have done some work for us.
[00:31:01] It was a big guest and we kind of ruined it by we had nothing.
[00:31:06] We just like less prepared than when we do it with you.
[00:31:12] We can't be like, Hey, Jim, do you know about Dr. Evil?
[00:31:15] So all right, we're going to pretend that I'm Dr. Evil.
[00:31:18] And you need to react to it as if I actually were.
[00:31:22] I mean, what was just like, you didn't have anything to talk about with him or.
[00:31:26] No, no, I mean, there's plenty of shit to talk about.
[00:31:28] It's just like we want to just say dumb shit.
[00:31:32] And you know, I don't know if he was on board with that.
[00:31:35] Yeah, no, it's just like answering earnestly.
[00:31:38] It was yeah, it was like he was having like a really net.
[00:31:40] We talked about like, actually, that's probably going to stay in the first one, huh?
[00:31:43] Yeah, the first the people already listened to.
[00:31:45] Yeah, it was it was 27 minutes of talking about chicken salad and the best what you have to
[00:31:54] I told a great anecdote about going to Joe's on Third Avenue and I asked for a chicken
[00:32:01] And the guy was like, what do you mean?
[00:32:04] People just listened to this, by the way.
[00:32:07] I mean, I mean, now you're telling me the stories.
[00:32:12] Yeah, we have Felix Biederman from a trap house on Prairie, Puerto Rican rattlesnake
[00:32:24] And I'm actually now I'm Sharad Rose how he is.
[00:32:29] Yes, the black or Rican rattlesnake from race wars spin off.
[00:32:37] Stop told me had a racial awakening on his way here.
[00:32:42] Yeah, we're actually now live at the Anthony Kumia studios to in bedside.
[00:32:47] Believe it or not, Anthony's not actually allowed in this neighborhood.
[00:32:53] So yeah, we have to skype him in whenever he tells us how to decorate the studio because
[00:32:58] he wants it to look just like the top of the Empire State building where his real studio
[00:33:05] He likes to he likes to stand on the balcony and just say the N word.
[00:33:08] So this whole place is filled with lawn jockeys.
[00:33:13] The way Anthony wants the Al Jolson wing of the studio.
[00:33:27] I think I think the thing that sums up the studio is the graphic that reads right when
[00:33:32] Have you ever tried counting six million?
[00:33:34] It really makes you think you're like, no, it's too big of a number.
[00:33:41] He said he said that Mr. Show sketch with the highest number with the Holocaust.
[00:33:46] The next guy to add one number to another number is going to hear from my 45.
[00:33:58] The pitch for that sketch must have made absolutely no sense.
[00:34:01] I mean, most of those most of their sketches were like that.
[00:34:04] That's what made it such a funny show is that they were just trying to be funny.
[00:34:08] Also the fact that they kind of circumnavigated the fact that it's really hard to end a sketch.
[00:34:13] It was just blowing it up and then like, you know, you know, mash it or whatever.
[00:34:22] Stav's company pays $50 for anyone who can come up with a sketch.
[00:34:28] It doesn't matter if you're illiterate.
[00:34:29] Yeah, I did get that $50 for an anonymous sketch.
[00:34:38] Maybe maybe we can just do it on the podcast.
[00:34:41] It's Jurassic Park, but Edinburgh is like, we can bring back the dinosaurs and then we
[00:34:49] And he just wants to fuck the dinosaurs.
[00:35:04] And he says, this proves that even the tiniest of creatures can be focked.
[00:35:12] Something about maybe getting pissed on by a hot, thick stream of Brontosaurus piss.
[00:35:17] Have you imagined eating the asshole of a Brontosaurus as it unloads tons and tons of
[00:35:25] And he just wants to fuck the dinosaurs.
[00:35:28] Maybe Chris Pratt knows how to jack off velociraptors.
[00:35:40] Can you imagine how good he is a giving head?
[00:35:42] You know, because like fat people are good at giving head.
[00:35:49] You know what they say about fat girls, dude?
[00:35:51] Is there better given head because they're like eating?
[00:35:58] Yeah, because that's how you do get nourishment like that.
[00:36:01] That's the way you eat things is by sucking it off.
[00:36:05] So what, speaking of getting sucked off or jerked off, somebody has a little story.
[00:36:29] That's when you get jerked off in Jersey.
[00:36:33] They actually don't let you jack off by yourself in Jersey.
[00:37:00] best part of it is like she's like you want harder soft and I was like hard.
[00:37:21] And so she just starts walking on my back.
[00:37:26] She actually fucked up my back for like four days.
[00:37:32] You think you're going to get beat off or no?
[00:37:34] I didn't really wasn't in the front of my mind.
[00:37:42] Oh, I don't know if this $25 massage place will beat me off in the basement of a fucking
[00:37:52] This is like that Jim Carrey movie where he can't say no.
[00:38:04] Well, I mean, I consider liar liar the Quran and yes man like the he'd eat.
[00:38:08] Like it expanded on the lessons of that movie.
[00:38:12] The best part was she's like, okay, hand or mouth with condom.
[00:38:27] You're worried about your sister hearing about sex on the compile.
[00:38:34] There's this Russian woman with braces and fake tits.
[00:38:37] She had a necklace on that said sex on it.
[00:38:44] And I was there with like came with the braces.
[00:38:49] I was on my occupation tour with my friends and you were there to steal the rightful land
[00:38:55] And just like and lap dances were were 20 shekels.
[00:39:04] And we're getting like a ton of laughing.
[00:39:08] No, no, no, he's talking about what a bargain it is, dude.
[00:39:16] There's no way a Jew can complain about or it's mentioned the cost of something without
[00:39:21] That's where that's where all that like Sheldon Adelson money goes goes to subsidize strippers.
[00:39:37] So I went and she was like blow job with condom 200 shekel.
[00:39:43] And I was just like, which is like, and you talked it down.
[00:39:46] And I had like, I had my meal stipend thing for the month.
[00:39:52] Like the program gave us a meal stipend.
[00:39:55] And I literally had an envelope of cash in it and I like fumbled through it.
[00:40:02] And I got a blow job with a condom came in three minutes.
[00:40:09] And well, this braces the braces tear it off immediately.
[00:40:15] Last time that it takes for the iron dome to block a missile.
[00:40:20] That's what that's actually they call that braces blow job.
[00:40:35] I love getting iron dome from retarded girls.
[00:40:44] Left left my entire meal stipend for the month in this girl's mouth.
[00:40:55] Literally for a month, I would eat at five o'clock once a day.
[00:41:07] Anyway, I felt horrible about the whole thing.
[00:41:22] That's the funniest part of the whole story.
[00:41:30] You know, I don't want to do the accent.
[00:41:33] She's like, but is she hot is what I'm getting at here.
[00:41:37] I know that people can't see this because this is a podcast, but Adam just put on a straw
[00:41:56] So she says, do you want to do you want to touch me?
[00:42:02] So she takes my hand, puts it up her shirt and I'm just like squeezing her boob.
[00:42:07] And she was like, yeah, she's like, okay, hand her mouth.
[00:42:11] And I was like, I'm not going to go for mouth with condom.
[00:42:18] You're thinking she's much better at I've never gotten a good hand job in my life.
[00:42:29] She did 50 million times better than I've ever done.
[00:42:34] But the best part was I was wearing my box.
[00:42:37] She built out my boxes and she looks at my dick and then she looks up at me and she
[00:42:44] It was the biggest dick she'd ever seen in my entire life.
[00:42:54] A girl I hooked up with is not a girl like that was doing the same shit.
[00:42:58] She was like, oh my God, it's just like pretending to choke on my as like, listen, I've had
[00:43:26] How much did the whole she bang run you?
[00:43:29] I left and I was just like so mad at myself.
[00:43:31] I was like, New York City, you've done it again.
[00:43:33] You just fucking vacuum $75 out of my pocket.
[00:43:37] Like that could have been a decent pair of pants could last you a couple of years.
[00:43:48] And then I told the girl that I was used to be dating.
[00:43:55] You told the girl you used to be dating and you got beat off?
[00:43:59] That you paid to get jacked off by someone that looks exactly like her.
[00:44:03] So she was like, what her life would be like if your parents didn't come over.
[00:44:06] But I thought like this progressive thing where she's like, yeah, I want to fuck other
[00:44:19] So I didn't think that it was like a big deal to her and she's like, you're disgusting.
[00:44:29] I feel like you have to because we live in the future now.
[00:44:34] I would love if my dick was bigger, I would beat off with a luchador mask on.
[00:44:39] You don't have to have a big dick, dude.
[00:44:41] You already have all those Instagram followers.
[00:44:47] There was a guy I saw on chatter bait one time who had to be like 89 years old.
[00:44:53] He looked like one of the start of his face.
[00:44:55] There was a guy I saw on chatter bait one time.
[00:45:01] You just people just jack off and get carried with the tracking.
[00:45:12] You can choose somebody to watch masturbate or whatever.
[00:45:16] Yeah, I was like, look how old this man is.
[00:45:19] I mean, there is a market for everything.
[00:45:22] That's half a bodybuilder support themselves by jacking off on their stuff.
[00:45:27] That's how they buy Hanavar is they get gay for pay stuff.
[00:45:31] There's actually a separate room in GNC where you can do all that.
[00:45:36] Before an Arnold to raise money to come to America, Arnold's dad actually just recorded
[00:45:43] himself jacking off on an 8 millimeter.
[00:45:54] Well that guy, yeah, that guy, he was like 89 years old, big long white beard.
[00:46:01] You know the color of the giver, like that guy.
[00:46:10] Less of a sexual deviant than the actual Walt Whitman.
[00:46:13] This was just a guy that jacked off on camera instead of on little boy's faces.
[00:46:22] And like, you know, just like an old fucking ass man.
[00:46:24] He's got nipple clamps and he's like hitting his dick with shit and he's jacking off.
[00:46:30] And he just seemed to be having like a great time.
[00:46:36] He's like, you know, living an active life.
[00:46:39] This isn't like, it's not deviant if he's like, you know, like his family's probably
[00:46:43] like, yeah, grandpa loves the computer.
[00:46:48] They're like, yeah, he's using the camera to keep in touch with friends from the war.
[00:46:57] He doesn't really use any of the email software we got him, but it's yeah.
[00:47:05] Have you guys ever tried to have Skype sex before?
[00:47:13] Like you like see yourself in a little box.
[00:47:14] You see the little corner like you're like, I just your mangled face just like beating
[00:47:19] Oh, no, I get a top angle of my dick and I angle it down so that my dick looks good.
[00:47:41] I mean, Lucy K is really adamant about using a red box for his jack off footage.
[00:47:47] When he does it in front of women without their consent, they're bringing that back.
[00:47:54] She was talking about the Jen Kirkman that said that.
[00:47:56] Yeah, apparently she said it and then deleted it.
[00:47:59] She said that he either said that he did it to her or brought up the allegations and
[00:48:05] Interesting that he's just like a subway jack offer like, but he doesn't know.
[00:48:11] He dresses his hotel room up like a subway station and invites people.
[00:48:20] Yeah, he's an autistic pervert because he has to incorporate trains.
[00:48:27] I mean, it seems like from what I've heard, there's been no like substantial claim.
[00:48:36] Consencially is beat off in front of people.
[00:48:38] But if that's a thing, then that's just like King shaming.
[00:48:43] I mean, if he's doing that, here's my stance.
[00:48:47] If he's doing that against people's will, I'm against it.
[00:48:53] I'm going to get really taken a sexual assault.
[00:49:04] You know, I didn't say, you know, I said if, you know, but who are there?
[00:49:07] Remember, there was that one comedian champion, that guy, champ.
[00:49:12] The clean guy who was also like a rapist.
[00:49:14] No, now I'm just accusing Vince champion of being the rapist.
[00:49:17] There was a guy that was like on the road.
[00:49:19] The champion brothers from DC, those guys.
[00:49:23] When I watch porn, do you remember that bit?
[00:49:29] Dude, this guy had a bit of a pro porn bit, which was incredible.
[00:49:34] It's like, when I watch porn, I ain't trying to hurt nobody.
[00:49:43] There was a guy doing anti gay bits of Caroline's here tonight.
[00:49:46] Remember that guy that was like, just don't do it around me.
[00:49:52] Well, in my defense, it was open mic night.
[00:49:55] There was a guy, I remember, did I talk about Big Ron on the podcast before?
[00:50:00] I don't know if it's, yeah, I think that was his name.
[00:50:08] Do that shit all the fucking time, dude.
[00:50:17] No, there was this guy that used to go to a Japanese, you do the mic at Japanese.
[00:50:22] That sushi restaurant where the light was just Ian Sammon like drunkenly holding up
[00:50:32] He would do 35 minutes in between every comic.
[00:50:36] But yeah, now this guy, Big Ron, he came in and he's like, you know, immediately like,
[00:50:46] You know, I'm like saying things off the top of my mind.
[00:50:49] And so he goes up and it's like a nice restaurant.
[00:50:52] And he's talking about like, you know, in jail, you know, you think that hearing people
[00:50:57] being raped would be bad, but it's not that it's when you hear him all fuck again stabbed.
[00:51:02] He used to be this big motherfucker and he used to jack off to the little Michael videos.
[00:51:09] Michael Jackson becoming on the TV, pull his dick right out and jack off to Michael.
[00:51:14] And you know, people are just trying to like eat dinner.
[00:51:20] And then my favorite thing about that guy is he handed me my business card.
[00:51:24] I was like talking to him afterwards and he had like a business where it was a detailing
[00:51:28] service, but just for Lincoln town cars.
[00:51:40] Dude, that's, oh man, that reminds me of when Rollo did funny.
[00:51:49] And every, he's definitely a comics comic.
[00:51:54] No, no, I mean, like back in the room always loves Rollo, you know.
[00:51:58] Yeah, in fucking shitty alt rooms is what you're talking about.
[00:52:02] So he did he did our shitty alt show in DC.
[00:52:05] And you know, it's all white people with clenched assholes.
[00:52:07] And he's just like talking about pink area.
[00:52:10] Then again, saying the N word like everyone's just like, Oh, we love it.
[00:52:18] And then like all of a sudden just midway through his set, he's like, Nah, but seriously, though,
[00:52:30] He goes, how the fuck you gonna get right to death in a bathroom?
[00:52:36] And then you could just hear a pin drop.
[00:52:39] Just literally every single Columbia Heights soft ass like white DC, you know, like works
[00:52:47] at the, you know, fucking some NGO and like, just silence.
[00:52:53] And then the back of the room, like all the comments are dying.
[00:52:59] But like seriously, no gay sex is disgusting.
[00:53:03] Just like, wow, how are you gonna go there?
[00:53:07] You're just gonna talk, just read the room.
[00:53:10] I used to do his rooms and just get absolute, well, you gave me the best advice.
[00:53:17] Like whenever I'd work a black room in DC, I just like they say coming up next to the
[00:53:24] stage, Adam Friedland, and then just like, there always be a drunk woman in the stage.
[00:53:28] I'd just be like, Oh, he looked like Harry Potter.
[00:53:32] And then like everyone started laughing and stuff.
[00:53:34] And I just, I didn't know what to do and I'd feel like really like intimidated and stuff.
[00:53:38] And the stop was just like, yo, if anyone makes funny, you just tell them that they have a
[00:53:51] Also when gay say they have a little last shirt.
[00:53:55] Yeah, I would always make fun of Raulo for being dark skinned.
[00:54:00] Raulo hates the Warriors because they're too light skinned.
[00:54:21] That's what he used to order pizzas under when he was at Howard.
[00:54:26] Why do you need to name the order pizzas?
[00:54:29] He used to tell the pizza guy, Raulo Boykin.
[00:54:32] Everyone went to GW and he had this fat pizza shit roommate, this Asian Pacific.
[00:54:53] So he goes, he's like, he was this big fat kid, but he was Catholic.
[00:54:57] I remember one time I crashed in there, like dorm or whatever, and he was out of town,
[00:55:00] and he had a crush on, was it Rachel Adams is the actress?
[00:55:08] And so above his bed, he had a poster of the notebook on the ceiling, which is like,
[00:55:14] You don't have a crush on that actress.
[00:55:16] You know, I'm like, dude, the one where she's in love.
[00:55:21] And I remember my friend was telling me, so for Lent, he gave up pizza.
[00:55:28] And like the first day of Lent, they're ordering from like Manny and Olga's or whatever.
[00:55:32] And they're like, you know, Jesse, you want anything?
[00:55:35] And he was like, yeah, let me get a cow's own.
[00:55:43] I love people who follow really strict religions.
[00:55:46] And then they're just like, oh, yeah, I'm going to fool God.
[00:55:48] Like the, the hot seeds, like we, yeah, I'm from Chicago.
[00:55:52] And there was like, just, we gave hot seeds an entire neighborhood, Roger's Park.
[00:55:56] And half the people in Roger's Park are Shabbos Gois.
[00:56:02] Like, oh, like, a that they didn't update the rules to be like, oh, yeah, pressing an
[00:56:10] But we're going to get around that by like hiring a Mexican kid and Bertrand, California
[00:56:27] I don't know if I said it on the podcast, but last year at pride, I was walking home
[00:56:31] and I walked through pride and there's a protest as a counter pride protest.
[00:56:35] And at first it looks like they're well, yeah, first it looks like they're his seeds and
[00:56:38] I get closer and they're Mexican guys wearing the outfits and they're holding signs and
[00:56:44] they're these like, you know, tired, you know, that like five foot one, Guatemalan type where
[00:56:50] you can tell underneath the hat he's got like a faux hawk, like those guys.
[00:56:57] This looks like his seeds just hired day laborers to protest pride.
[00:57:05] And then the next day I saw in like the New York daily news or something that, yeah,
[00:57:09] has seeds hired day laborers to go protest pride.
[00:57:13] I guess it was, you know, because it was Shabbos or something or they couldn't be
[00:57:19] They just didn't want to go themselves.
[00:57:21] So they hired day laborers to dress up like them and protest.
[00:57:24] I did the opposite of that when I was a kid.
[00:57:27] There is like you had sex with day laborers.
[00:57:31] Yeah, there was like a Puerto Rican day parade pride or Puerto Rican day parade in Chicago
[00:57:43] And like my mom knew the person was organizing it, but for whatever reason, they couldn't
[00:57:50] And I was eight and I was like, I was way darker as a kid.
[00:57:54] I got really glad things worked out for you.
[00:58:02] But I bleached like one of the reggae singers, but give me the asshole kind.
[00:58:10] But my best friend was Greek and we were like really dark and they paid us $20 each to
[00:58:24] We'll just run off a soccer game might break out.
[00:58:30] They're like the Jewish and Greek brain has the European order gene that could carry the
[00:58:37] Did you see we're I guess we said we weren't going to talk about him anymore, but cockfield
[00:58:53] I don't want to do a cruel impression anymore, but I do want to make fun of he got he got
[00:59:11] My girlfriend got me 23 and me results for my birthday.
[00:59:16] And so he's like 96% like British and Irish or whatever.
[00:59:24] So he's like, he is the results everybody.
[00:59:26] I'm 1% African 4% or 1% Pacific Islander 4% African 95% who cares.
[00:59:34] And also those by the way are like that's the that's within the margin of error.
[00:59:42] Like I was like I was like 6% Jewish or something and it's like it's not.
[00:59:47] Yeah, yeah, yeah, stop immediately gone on the phone and said what's going on with this?
[00:59:55] Did you say there's a thing on PBS where Henry Lewis Gates was doing like ancestry tests
[01:00:06] She's like I talked to my spirits and I know I am a Zulu.
[01:00:15] And they were like, no, you're Ghanaian.
[01:00:18] Like every other black person in America.
[01:00:20] Yeah, South Africa was not part of the like the triangle like slavery.
[01:00:25] It's like what the fuck are you talking about Oprah?
[01:00:29] You fancy Jones was like more white than black.
[01:00:33] I immediately burned every album he produced after that.
[01:00:40] Do you follow like I found them through Haywood, but one of those like like Pan-African Facebook
[01:00:49] Yeah, there was one because like 90% of the things they share, it's like be proud of your
[01:00:55] And it's like, you know, like a positive like affirming stuff and then 5% of them like
[01:01:01] there's nothing wrong with female genital mutilization.
[01:01:04] They shared one meme that was like Europeans didn't bathe before they discovered Africans
[01:01:15] Going into water that didn't come up at some point.
[01:01:22] Yeah, no, there's like a bunch of sites like that that claim basically every single invention
[01:01:27] was actually made in Africa like, you know, 3000 years ago.
[01:01:30] Who are those like who are those like the black is your white black Israelites like outside
[01:01:38] So they think that white people were created by an evil scientist named Yekob that invented
[01:01:49] Well, that that different like the nation of Islam.
[01:01:51] They should have Islam falls the same shit where the evil scientists Yaku like used germs
[01:01:56] to wait black people to create white people, but in the black Israelite version he does
[01:02:05] Wait, which is funny because they all look like the clumps.
[01:02:18] Yeah, they really believe that yeah, scientists and the nation of Islam nation of Islam believes
[01:02:22] some like really cool shit like they what's fair con is he like still?
[01:02:28] I saw a video with him and young thug and it was like really powerful.
[01:02:32] Yeah, young thug was like it's so amazing to meet you.
[01:02:42] Yeah, but there's got to be a reason to actually don't know.
[01:02:45] I know like most of the nation of Islam stuff because it's big in Chicago like they eat
[01:02:49] Navy bean pies because that's supposed to make you live till 150.
[01:02:54] But the bow ties is probably something like probably like while like while you'd Muhammad
[01:02:57] or someone was like I think they look good.
[01:03:01] And then like usually there's a reason for shit like you notice that no Iranians wear
[01:03:05] neckties and they because they think ties are a symbol of Western imperialism.
[01:03:09] Yeah, but I thought I would say just like showing off chest hair.
[01:03:13] The same reason you're on your audience.
[01:03:16] But no, I actually I think the bow tie like the founder wore them or something.
[01:03:22] Everything else has like a cool reason behind it like the 9,000 years ago some guy invented
[01:03:26] white people or a spaceship showed up with the bow ties.
[01:03:30] Yeah, that's like I was trying to do good.
[01:03:34] Do you know the story with the his seeds?
[01:03:36] Well, basically they when when the Jews like left the pale of like settlement like in Eastern
[01:03:43] Europe, that was like that was like Eastern Europe style.
[01:03:47] And then once they left, they basically stopped evolving their style.
[01:03:52] So they kept dressing like so everyone dressed like that at some point.
[01:03:56] Well in their particular yeshivas, right?
[01:03:59] So like that's one yeshiva had like the circle hats when yeshiva had like, you know, pay
[01:04:03] as one, you know, I tell that story on the podcast about that guy at that Halloween party.
[01:04:09] No, remember that guy at that Halloween party?
[01:04:11] We were at who didn't you tell us on the podcast?
[01:04:15] Yeah, we were at that Halloween party with those giant M&Ms who were listening to Fleetwood
[01:04:22] When we we met up with Tommy and then he was in the bathroom for like four and a half hours.
[01:04:26] Do you ever do you ever do you have a blue guy?
[01:04:34] This is completely separate story, but I was we were trying to find Coke and I went
[01:04:39] up to say our friend Tommy my friend Tommy and he's sitting there and I was like, Hey,
[01:04:44] you got a blow guy and I said that to him and it was like kind of loud where he had
[01:04:55] And he was like, did you ever blow a guy?
[01:04:58] He's like, you asked me if I ever blew a guy.
[01:05:00] I was like, no, I said, do you have a blow guy?
[01:05:04] On the spectrum of gay stuff that is closer to being gay than being straight.
[01:05:12] Yeah, he's no, he told the great story about like following this after a show in Philly.
[01:05:17] He like bought a prostitute or whatever and she was like blowing him and then I thought
[01:05:24] He's like bought a prostitute or that's what the story is and then he like, he's like,
[01:05:31] So yeah, yeah, yeah, but, but yeah, no, that was a funny interaction.
[01:05:35] But no, the guy at the party at the Halloween party when he's talking about those big circular
[01:05:39] hats that the hissies wear and he's like, those Ottomans.
[01:05:43] Yeah, yeah, there's like big Ottomans, the big IT Ottomans.
[01:05:45] And he's got, he's like, yeah, dude, one of my friends actually, he got one of those.
[01:05:52] He was like, you know, he's riding his bike and he managed to like get one.
[01:05:58] And he was like, yeah, he got arrested for like, you know, grand larceny or something.
[01:06:02] Because he got, they caught it because like you can't just be the guy wearing that one.
[01:06:06] And he's like, he's like an odd future shirt.
[01:06:09] You know, Shine the rapper that got arrested with Diddy?
[01:06:17] He's like, oh, that's what it's called.
[01:06:25] I don't even know where you get otters.
[01:06:30] Well, it's not more of a bear, but yeah.
[01:06:32] He's got like a outfit because he's hairless.
[01:06:38] Actually, it's more walrus because the cub cub is like cub is like a small, a small,
[01:06:45] If you're large and hairless, it's walrus or manatee.
[01:06:54] They have a there's no way to have any more animals.
[01:06:57] I mean, this is like a body acceptance thing.
[01:07:02] It's like the original body acceptance people.
[01:07:05] That's like, I don't know if you guys anything.
[01:07:09] I've already there's that stereotype like all gay guys are in shape and it's like,
[01:07:11] no, just the ones you secretly jack off to.
[01:07:17] My friend there was this dude in college that was like his whole persona was he was a total
[01:07:23] He's like a Long Island, Nassau County Jewish like fucking blow out like, look like a Jersey
[01:07:31] short Gueda and my friend, my we was always strange because he had a Leonidas from hell.
[01:07:40] 300 poster of just this Jack Dass Gerard Butler like six feet tall in his bedroom.
[01:07:47] We're like, why does why does Brian have that in his room?
[01:07:50] And then my my friend for some reason was his roommate like took his laptop to go on
[01:07:56] Pornhub and then like saw the last 10 searches, it was like guy kisses guy for first time.
[01:08:04] Oh, that's totally I'm closeted straight guy.
[01:08:13] I think that's what all like motivation shit is like whenever you go to YouTube and it's
[01:08:20] No, that's just like people are jacking off to that.
[01:08:24] 100% I mean, like I watch I obsessively watch MMA and have for years and like it's the big
[01:08:31] thing is like watch the Wayans where they like get naked and almost like get so close to each
[01:08:38] You said you say weigh in and I thought you said Wayans like the way in brother.
[01:08:42] Yeah, when the way is brothers down at the arch.
[01:08:49] There's like some of those guys who definitely gave by the way of the way by law of averages.
[01:09:20] and ivory wins when he was a judge on last comic was the absolute biggest piece of shit.
[01:09:29] He's like I've never hated anyone in comedy more than all right.
[01:09:32] I just talked shit about someone's like an hand.
[01:09:36] So if you have a problem, Keena and ivory can come on the pod.
[01:09:42] What happened to Simon from American Idol?
[01:09:49] He's still like his friend's wife or something.
[01:09:53] Yeah, it doesn't make sense because you know, you like just assume most British guys are
[01:09:59] And then they're like actually cool, you know, like a cool alpha.
[01:10:06] I mean, that's why they brought him to America.
[01:10:13] They should make a state the movie where he solves Brexit with karate.
[01:10:15] We're going to bring the country back together.
[01:10:35] We were just walking around Green Point.
[01:10:41] Yeah, we've fulfilled our contractual obligation to the people that donated.
[01:10:49] Yeah, shout out to my friend Max, who's a listener who's buying us the track suits.
[01:10:54] Yeah, Max, thank you for the track suits.
[01:11:02] You guys just got to shout out the podcast shout out.
[01:11:07] And then thank you Felix for joining us.
[01:11:14] We're going to listen to this seeing the names.
[01:11:18] Well, most people are not going to make it to the first time.
[01:11:20] Are we going to go and make it to the first time?
[01:11:21] Yeah, it's probably going to turn the screen.
[01:11:25] We would love to have you guys on choppa.
[01:11:26] I've been practicing my slava zzizek impression.
[01:11:30] Will does that great impression of you?
[01:11:38] It sounds like really gay and like a bitch.
[01:11:41] I feel like you shouldn't say that so much.
[01:12:02] Me and Stauber joke, so I don't want to do the sound effects or whatever, so I'm not actually
[01:12:09] But there's lightning or something and a portal opens.
[01:12:19] This is what happens when you go past the fucking 40 minute mark on the second half.
[01:12:34] Yeah, we would love, we would fucking love to do that.
[01:12:36] We want to do, we want to use Bobby's not.
[01:12:39] Yeah, Bobby Kelly might let us use his studio to do that.
[01:12:44] Which is like a sort of like a second rate Anthony Camilla studio.
[01:12:48] Matt, if you were listening by a fucking plan to bring Matt up here.
[01:12:54] No, Matt lives in Cleveland, but we can just come on.
[01:13:00] I mean, they got this Indian kid there that knows how all the computers work.
[01:13:03] Oh, and if you're in New York, we have a live show in the works for August.
[01:13:07] Oh, yeah, and I want to I want to do if you guys are cool that I want to plug the Chappo live show.
[01:13:14] July 28th in Philadelphia at everybody hits.
[01:13:18] And yes, due to the name, it is a group sex event.
[01:13:22] We are running a train running a cell on these.
[01:13:25] Well, we got we got the venue that we're doing is come on everybody for come town.
[01:13:30] So it's come on everybody, but it for us.