Cum Town | Regular | 03/29/2018
[00:00:21] Until he comes in my mouth in my house.
[00:00:25] When we hit it we had lightning in the mother fucking bottle.
[00:00:28] People don't know that we're constantly, we're singer songwriters.
[00:00:43] Like I can clearly see the outline of your cock every time you do it.
[00:00:48] It's kind of hard for me to see the outline but.
[00:00:56] Yeah it's like a fine character that the black guy would take.
[00:01:18] I have this amazing okay to make that joke.
[00:01:25] Yeah fucking someone got mad they posted that tie bow clip and they're like oh here's the
[00:01:31] host of comtown doing AAVE for three minutes or like this is literally a minstrel show.
[00:01:36] Why can't we get socialists to disavow this and it's like they think that retarded people.
[00:01:45] Guess what motherfuckers you're the offensive ones.
[00:01:48] We're regular level offensive talking like retarded people.
[00:02:14] But then don't stop me from getting down syndrome.
[00:02:28] The WD stands for an extra dose of now.
[00:02:32] So thank you to at Stalin who didn't do anything wrong for a great suggestion.
[00:02:44] A comedy professor guy with statue in his avatar.
[00:02:52] That's how you know somebody's going to be chill as shit.
[00:03:02] Do you see Paul McCartney was marching in that march for John Lennon?
[00:03:08] Oh because he's a victim of guns violence?
[00:03:12] Maybe John Lennon shouldn't have said that he was bigger than Jesus.
[00:03:15] I mean I'm, you know, I've never ever had a problem with John Lennon being murdered.
[00:03:30] But to say that you're more famous than Jesus.
[00:03:37] No one's allowed to be that fucking arrogant.
[00:03:41] You think you're like anybody that thinks they're bigger than, first anybody that thinks they're
[00:03:50] But to be some lunatic that's like, well if a submarine was a different color and then
[00:04:00] That was the one time they let Ringo write a song.
[00:04:08] It's like a heated tweet that the two Beatles that are alive are vegan.
[00:04:16] What happened in George Harrison, a guy shot him too.
[00:04:21] Didn't some guy break into his house or something?
[00:04:25] I don't know what actually happened but there was like a joke on family guy that implied
[00:04:36] You guys watching that Netflix thing goes star and he's a dog.
[00:04:46] It's for anybody that says that downtown doesn't do any bits for children.
[00:04:53] I'll probably be able to transition into children's entertainment.
[00:04:57] Yeah, after the Dan Schneider thing, you know, I mean, it's like, it's really as long as you
[00:05:09] He got seven million dollars to leave Nickelodeon.
[00:05:17] That guy is just, I mean, it's like you like imagine what a fat Jewish child molester looks
[00:05:26] Yeah, like this is exactly Jewish Schneider.
[00:05:32] Yeah, it's like how mayor isn't always, you know, or mire.
[00:05:38] Well, either way, he looks horrible and disgusting.
[00:05:47] Yeah, he controls the entertainment industry and he rapes children.
[00:05:54] Yeah, he doesn't need a fucking yarmulke when he's got those two.
[00:06:01] But that three week period where you didn't sleep, it was worth it.
[00:06:04] Somebody stabbed Corey Feldman in his car.
[00:06:09] I'm telling you, man, like it's it's pizza gate is real.
[00:06:15] No, he was a victim, but he I'm sure he also did.
[00:06:20] His mind, the return to the scene of the crime.
[00:06:48] Yeah, that's usually how sex for me goes.
[00:06:50] You catch him, you know, and they don't like it at first.
[00:07:00] Get ready to be fucking thrilled that evening.
[00:07:04] And they're like, let's make the best of this.
[00:07:05] I was saying on the stage the other night, it's like, I feel like I'm sort of like a
[00:07:09] groundhog because of all the me too shit.
[00:07:11] I'm like a groundhog, like just poking his head out of the ground like rape joke.
[00:07:18] That's what I can get away with in my shadow.
[00:07:32] Do you remember that video, the groundhog biting that mayor in the ear?
[00:07:38] Didn't he tossed that guy and didn't that didn't they kill the groundhog for that?
[00:07:46] I was like, you don't fucking bite me motherfucker.
[00:07:50] Smash his head in a ball, ball peen him.
[00:07:53] I think it's fucked up that there's a Staten Island chuck and he doesn't get more more
[00:08:10] Staten Island chuck is a competitor to Pucks a tawny fill.
[00:08:21] Yeah, if he says the N word, then there's six more months of winter or something.
[00:08:38] There's like a dumb type of shoe from the 20s.
[00:08:41] You know, those like shoes that are like white on top.
[00:08:47] It might be a thing we were talking about.
[00:08:49] No, it might be a thing that goes over like a regular shoe.
[00:08:58] No, I'm just going to pull them up because you'll recognize immediately.
[00:09:05] Isn't that what like rockability people wear?
[00:09:08] No, they, yeah, they wear creepers, but those are like platform.
[00:09:12] But they're like platform versions of that.
[00:09:15] Well, anyways, it's a cloth gator that goes over the top of the shoe.
[00:09:20] You know what kind of arcane footwear I like is the...
[00:09:23] I was at the stand in Aaron Berg's like...
[00:09:30] It's like, yeah, everyone can wear Tim's.
[00:09:35] And then he like shows his phone and he's like, they're like spats, Tim's?
[00:09:48] He just like is the ass that came out of the suit.
[00:09:58] Ashless chap seemed like they would be very breathable, you know?
[00:10:09] I mean, overalls are technically over balls.
[00:10:16] You just think overalls are called over balls?
[00:10:21] No, I give it, it goes over everything.
[00:10:23] Like, no, you can see my arms, motherfucker.
[00:10:30] They're more over balls than they are overalls.
[00:10:37] No, I like the idea that it's a little overall and your cock is out where the neck is.
[00:10:49] Or actually your balls are coming out of the bottom like feet.
[00:11:01] I saw a picture of Andre 3000 wearing those and I was like, wow, that's cool.
[00:11:10] I got a cute-ass picture of me in those and then also in a little sailor outfit.
[00:11:18] I remember that was the first brand I wanted.
[00:11:20] That was the first brand I knew it was like cool ass babies because they would advertise
[00:11:25] on like Saturday morning cartoons and shit.
[00:11:27] Apparently I used to throw tantrums when we were at the mall to go to Jim Bering.
[00:11:34] And so I wanted to play in the ball pit.
[00:11:43] I was like, I want to play with the girl doll.
[00:11:50] You've had your two hours today to play with the girl toys.
[00:11:56] Please just for five seconds play with the truck.
[00:12:04] I just want to shove the easy bake of it into my pussy.
[00:12:25] I have to go poo-poo out of my putty mommy.
[00:12:29] I have to push a dick out of my pussy mommy.
[00:12:59] I never stepped foot in a damn Jimberry.
[00:13:21] You got to play place every time you open a book, man.
[00:13:29] You're dick and literally a play station.
[00:13:33] I have it as ads for play station two that was like the play station nine.
[00:13:35] It was like a ball like some like gelatin ball that went in your skin.
[00:13:40] I don't remember thinking that was such a cool ad.
[00:13:46] They had like this ad for the play station nine.
[00:13:51] And it's just like some ball that you hold and like transports you.
[00:13:54] And then there's only been two more play stations since then.
[00:14:02] And like they cost the differences now cost like a thousand dollars.
[00:14:08] Although I got to say, man, I played a little VAR.
[00:14:10] Recently, it looks like shit compared to the new one.
[00:14:17] Did you play the Vice City HD like rerelease?
[00:14:23] But you can download it on the play station store.
[00:14:35] But I just remember how fucking much my cock got blown out when I saw how the strippers.
[00:14:45] But that's the biggest jump we've made video game-wise from PS one to PS two and from like
[00:14:52] It was like as the hardware gets older, the developers get better at like making things
[00:14:58] So games will continue to look better on like play station four.
[00:15:01] So by the time they like they are done with play station four, it'll probably look pretty
[00:15:06] What about doll from remember there's something always everyone.
[00:15:08] I kept saying something called golf golf was going to come out.
[00:15:16] Everyone was waiting for fucking Nintendo to come drop the big ones because they had
[00:15:19] us as children and then just let Xbox and fucking PS take over.
[00:15:27] I don't want to play that shit though because it's I don't know.
[00:15:35] Some about it doesn't look like it has one.
[00:15:38] Yeah, it's it plays it portable but like you can plug it into the TV.
[00:15:43] You can get one of those Supreme cross body bags.
[00:15:49] Video games got good enough where it's like I only need one video game.
[00:15:53] Yeah, yeah, like when I played Modern Warfare 2, it was like I don't need to play anything
[00:15:56] else and I would just sit there playing modern for two all day long for like seven hours
[00:16:02] Yeah, battlefields like that and I played Gran Turismo like a lot.
[00:16:12] Well, I have like already like late and shoulder issues but using that wheel makes it worse.
[00:16:18] Now you're never going to be a fucking formula one driver.
[00:16:22] That's the reason because of my fucking injuries.
[00:16:28] What's what's going to be your next career after this dude?
[00:16:32] Yeah, if it's not going to be Nickelodeon kids coordinator.
[00:16:39] I demand to be my job title be Dan Schneider.
[00:16:43] Nick Mullen senior Dan Schneider Nickelodeon.
[00:16:46] I'm credited as that on the shows I come up with.
[00:16:49] Yeah, that was funny how bad their shows are going to be now.
[00:16:53] Nickelodeon's a good have like a ratings tank because like that guy who fucked all the children
[00:17:01] He was very good at his job but he had sex with children.
[00:17:05] And they think like, well no, we'll figure it out in the next shows about like it's a
[00:17:09] girl and she's on Twitter and like, you know, her and her friends like you're in a band
[00:17:14] It's like all the same ingredients but it just doesn't fucking work.
[00:17:18] What if that's what makes you a good child actor?
[00:17:23] And that's what you need to be a good actor.
[00:17:27] I mean, say what you want about Dan Schneider, the man's an artist.
[00:17:38] I see he was gunning down the view of the media.
[00:17:41] Dan Schneider is a guy who knocked a good man.
[00:17:43] That French poet that had sex with men and then quit doing poetry at like 21.
[00:17:51] Isn't that what you have to do to be a poet?
[00:17:54] There's no like straight guy poet except for Bruce Springsteen.
[00:18:07] It's a narrative, you know what I'm saying?
[00:18:08] It's like either make it a song or make it longer and make it a story.
[00:18:13] And then they have those bullshit poems that are basically narratives but they just put
[00:18:20] It's like, okay, that's about how about brooms and it's like, what's up, bitch?
[00:18:29] Instagram girl that people were shooting on a while ago, Rupi Kapoor or something.
[00:18:45] Have you guys watched that documentary by that sex cult that fuck cult?
[00:18:50] No, I was like an Indian sex cult that went to Oregon or something.
[00:18:56] Yeah, somebody you can see your nipples in one of them.
[00:19:02] But it's just some old guys and he got a long ass beard and he just fucking.
[00:19:26] No, you should watch it so we can talk about it.
[00:19:31] I just watched the Louis through Scientology movie.
[00:19:36] I tried looking for a, he's like in America series or he's like that series that he did
[00:19:42] Ten years ago, the one that was like the black nationalist in the body.
[00:19:48] I think some of them are on Netflix or they were on Netflix.
[00:19:50] I went looking for it and I couldn't find it.
[00:19:52] The black nationalist one is hilarious because.
[00:19:54] The black nationalist one is the best one.
[00:19:59] It's like you couldn't write a scene funnier than that.
[00:20:04] Oh, when he's asking who's black, who's black at Beethoven?
[00:20:07] He's like positively black without question.
[00:20:14] He goes Cleopatra and he goes, she looked black, but she was white.
[00:20:24] Don't take our ugly bitches of history, dude.
[00:20:29] She was married to Mark Anthony, wasn't she?
[00:20:35] Mark Anthony's got some bangers, some secret bangers.
[00:20:38] I mean, he was married to one of the Greeks.
[00:20:44] No, no, Mark Anthony, she was told me she played him, I think.
[00:20:58] And then he got, he put the pussy on the pedestal.
[00:21:04] No, you can't be out here feeling anything for these bitches.
[00:21:06] Oh man, I've never had an emotional sports.
[00:21:12] If that bitch got a pyramid, you better not tip your hat to run.
[00:21:29] Have you seen that like, they found like her skull or some shit.
[00:21:30] She's just like a busted ass motherfucker.
[00:21:35] You can tell what a person's face is, I guess.
[00:21:44] But yeah, everyone in history that was like hot was probably ugly as shit dude.
[00:21:47] It just means like they didn't smell like they weren't having diarrhea at the time,
[00:21:53] Well, yeah, they took a bath every single day.
[00:21:55] They had access to like, you know, in and wiping their ass.
[00:22:01] They rubbed oils on their fucking filthy pussies.
[00:22:09] Just to say like, well, we're talking about that power, that powerful pussy.
[00:22:20] She used to get dick because she was so powerful.
[00:22:25] That was the original title of the list.
[00:22:28] Atlas fucked was he was like, I was smashed.
[00:22:35] Do you think that's like a hook for autistic guys to get into libertarianism?
[00:22:44] It's sort of like a chicken and the egg sort of thing.
[00:22:50] Well, there's one about architecture that's found in head.
[00:22:55] Yeah, but she was like, she had like a cult of 24 year old grad students that she used
[00:23:06] One of the tenants of objectivism or whatever is that there's no such thing as aesthetic
[00:23:14] Yeah, so this old ass nasty rushing girl.
[00:23:20] I mean, I'll take a lot of comparisons.
[00:23:24] So like Alan Greenspan was one of those guys.
[00:23:31] The whole thing is she got a she's she learned that she would have to suck dick.
[00:23:40] That's because you want to objectify something.
[00:23:43] Yeah, I can object objectify that vulnerable grad student that well shots out to her for
[00:23:53] That's got to be that's got to be the hardest thing in the world to be an ugly woman and
[00:24:01] Because everybody's like, oh, well, women could just fuck whoever they want.
[00:24:04] And it's like sort of, you know, yeah, it's like a bell curve.
[00:24:11] Because it's like if you're if you're ugly enough that you can't just you can't just
[00:24:15] go out and fuck because you know, good.
[00:24:17] No, there's women like that that are busted enough that it's like they couldn't just go
[00:24:22] like go out and be like somebody fuck me.
[00:24:24] They could, but it would be a horrific.
[00:24:25] It would be like a you know, like very cute and very charming.
[00:24:30] And then but but like it's like I'm sad because I just had sex.
[00:24:34] That woman that woman doesn't have the option of like just making a bunch of money and
[00:24:40] being successful and then like fucking but on top of that she also doesn't have the option
[00:24:49] You know, it's like making a bunch of money.
[00:24:56] It's like I guess I can hold them down and fuck them.
[00:25:02] Well, they could I mean, Adam could probably be raped by a woman.
[00:25:06] You haven't a strong woman could hold you down and suck your cock.
[00:25:12] Then slide that big ugly pussy on top of your little ass dick.
[00:25:23] He's like, he's gonna take some of the takes like a wet rain jacket off and hangs it up
[00:25:42] A come town is brought to you by the puffins peanut butter cereal.
[00:25:51] It helps those birds, those African penguins.
[00:25:55] Yeah, they force feed those penguins cereal.
[00:25:57] I saw a guy waiting for the G train reading shrill by Lindy West and he was perfect.
[00:26:04] I mean, he looked exactly like he was sexy.
[00:26:08] No, he was just like all Fupa and like no facial hair and like just look like he just
[00:26:15] look like he was about to cry constantly.
[00:26:21] Yeah, I think he was strangely large though.
[00:26:29] You look like you sort of, you know in that movie, but dad will never be able to beat anybody
[00:26:34] Name a person you think you could beat up.
[00:26:39] He's still any kind of expert, but yeah, yeah, I could beat him up.
[00:26:46] And he's got that famous Trump will to never prove.
[00:26:50] Yeah, he's like 10 years old, like six, six.
[00:27:06] Do you think you'd be up John Leguizamo?
[00:27:14] I told him that the dirt, the pest is my favorite movie.
[00:27:19] I was on the way to summer camp on the east coast.
[00:27:21] And you were like, he was like, hey, now you're being a pest.
[00:27:24] No, he was like, I'm trying to sleep, bro.
[00:27:28] I'm just paying attention to the porn army.
[00:27:34] Wait, what was there episode where you were looking at porn that you wouldn't let me
[00:27:53] He was looking at Julia doing bicep curls.
[00:27:55] Dude, it started off as a joke, but I would so fucked Julia.
[00:28:07] She wraps her thighs around his face while he's eating a plate.
[00:28:20] It's just like I kind of have low standards anyways.
[00:28:22] So it's like she's like got a pretty face and a flaw, which is like her weird body and
[00:28:26] the fact that she's, you know, I don't know if that's a power plant that she grew up.
[00:28:38] So with your blog for my fans out there, please.
[00:28:44] Do you guys like those videos where a woman smashes a watermelon with her thighs?
[00:28:51] There's one famous one where I really looked to see if the woman did any other kind of
[00:28:58] You get like a booger in your mouth that makes its way in there from your nose.
[00:29:06] No, like three, did you just blow them on you?
[00:29:09] And I get in my mouth because I'm eating it.
[00:29:14] Everybody's body like you when you don't wipe for like weeks and then you get like a dread
[00:29:30] When I'm the fucking Zion lion in the bath.
[00:29:36] My turds come out and land on the sea because they're being because they're the hammock
[00:29:44] Your ass is homophobic for some reason.
[00:29:48] That's the ultimate way to prevent being fucked in the ass.
[00:29:52] Just in prison and I'm like, I'll be a bit over and they're like, we're going fuck this
[00:30:07] Yeah, if we're ever going to go to jail, that's the first time we can stop wiping our asses.
[00:30:10] Do you remember it in like middle school?
[00:30:13] I was like in a photography class in high school and this guy was like, I think I would fill
[00:30:19] I remember laughing so hard at that guy's.
[00:30:22] He's like, I'm just put concrete in my ass.
[00:30:28] That's what we did to I see to get her fixed.
[00:30:36] Those doggy dicks that lipsticks bounces off.
[00:30:51] Nick's off that, Nick, you didn't tell the fight.
[00:31:32] I don't understand people that like smoke weed, but then also do the CBD oil.
[00:31:40] So you can't really feel the weed that much.
[00:31:44] Yeah, dude, I'm, I'm really needed for my damn heart.
[00:31:46] I'm trying to get my, my blood pressure back in line.
[00:31:53] I'm going to get a nice little dark chocolate bar after this.
[00:32:03] Well, temporarily it'll lower your blood pressure, but raise your heart rate.
[00:32:07] Because when you, the outside of your body, your blood vessels, uh, dilate and your heart rate
[00:32:13] increases and your blood pressure drops.
[00:32:16] But it might have like a rebound effect.
[00:32:21] I feel like I haven't checked in a while, but I'm guessing I have very high blood pressure.
[00:32:23] Because I've been eating like shift the last two months.
[00:32:28] I got a, I went to the Apple store and I got one of those like blood pressure.
[00:32:32] There's a monitor that goes on your arm.
[00:32:35] It fills up and then it just uses Bluetooth to send shit to your phone.
[00:32:42] Which you are reviewing on the podcast.
[00:32:47] It's a fucking medical expense because I, there you go.
[00:32:52] Can you, can you write off medical shit?
[00:33:00] I mean, you should let Patrick know that you had to get a series of surgeries.
[00:33:08] Damn, I got to run off my medical expenses like my penis shrinking surgery.
[00:33:20] Yeah, it was so fucking heavy and dense.
[00:33:22] Yeah, well they had to bury all the, all the extra fat.
[00:33:25] And they put all the ground zero trash out in Jersey.
[00:33:29] Why the fuck does your cock get fatter, man?
[00:33:37] Why do titties get big when you're fatter?
[00:33:39] Why don't dicks get big when you're fatter?
[00:33:41] Let's get bigger in a shitty way though.
[00:33:44] A little bit like a fat girl is always like, it's like, yeah, you know, because I got these
[00:33:47] big boobs and it's like, I mean they're resting on your giant stuff.
[00:33:55] They're like small tits sitting on top of a man's breath.
[00:33:58] I used to have a bus driver in middle school whose tits were so big.
[00:34:01] She was just literally driving a bus with her.
[00:34:09] No, but she used to get really mad about rough housing.
[00:34:13] Hey, stop putting your fingers in Adam's boy pussy.
[00:34:16] No, that was not the kind of rough housing we were doing.
[00:34:19] You just have a note from your dad that says it's an asshole.
[00:34:30] And if you make him eat turds, call them turds, not shit dicks.
[00:34:58] Especially even when we have like things to do, you don't schedule them.
[00:35:05] Why don't you schedule me sucking your dad's dick?
[00:35:23] Actually, we've all persevered being lazy and we might have some things.
[00:35:29] Live days out in the beautiful United States.
[00:35:33] So look out for that if you're in some of America's premier largest.
[00:35:56] I mean, America with three K's is dumb as shit.
[00:36:02] America cut that kind of stuff from it.
[00:36:09] I think the first time they came up with it was pretty good.
[00:36:13] The first time someone said that, that must have been cool, dude.
[00:36:18] You must feel the first guy who said that.
[00:36:20] No, if I had never heard that and someone said that to me, I would be boo.
[00:36:24] That's because you don't like you don't have a sense of remember you don't dream to imagine.
[00:36:31] You don't have a sense of fucking you do taxes and your dreams.
[00:36:34] It's very great when they have like a fat statue of you outside in elementary school.
[00:36:41] To Stavros Halkia school for kids that were too stupid to get into regular special education.
[00:36:47] No, they have to be both fat and stupid.
[00:36:55] One period of the teacher is drunk so we're going to watch prices right.
[00:37:02] I'm about to fucking make Stavros Halkia's home for exceptional, exceptionally fat.
[00:37:42] He keeps slipping on fucking 100 grand rappers.
[00:37:48] Damn, I really want another cup of coffee.
[00:38:05] We're really sorry you have Adam in your life.
[00:38:07] I'm sorry you have to live in this beautiful process.
[00:38:11] Yeah, after I make you beautiful dinners.
[00:38:15] This is Adam's old cookbook that he has.
[00:38:20] I'm still mastering Japanese home cooking.
[00:38:25] By the end of this year, I'm going to be a master Japanese home show.
[00:38:30] You've never mastered anything in your life.
[00:38:31] You've never mastered anything in your life.
[00:38:50] Yeah, you'll be the guy molesting children and you tell everyone.
[00:38:57] Speaking of secrets, I know that there's a son of a famous person that listens to this person.
[00:39:23] It's not technically close, but it feels bad.
[00:39:34] I said, Nego Morenson, and then you decided what to do with that.
[00:39:40] I was thinking like an alternate universe, Vigo Morenson.
[00:39:44] It just says like a dark wing duck, n***a duck character.
[00:39:52] Especially because I thought dark wing duck was black.
[00:40:01] The implication isn't that they're different races.
[00:40:03] The n***a duck is a criminal, and dark wing duck is a private investment.
[00:40:13] You got a dark wing duck, a n***a duck.
[00:40:17] Every time a dark wing duck would want to have a good time.
[00:40:27] Now I have something to relate to, to understand the comedy stylings of Chris Rock.
[00:40:34] I'm just annoyed that you're sitting here pretending like you watched dark wing duck when all of
[00:40:54] But he was like his co-pilot or something.
[00:40:56] Launchpad, Macquack, he's the pilot on dark wing duck.
[00:40:58] He's also the pilot on tails or duck tails.
[00:41:02] I was always a little offended that they chose to make Scrooge McDuck a Scottish person,
[00:41:11] I know, but he should have, you know, he was swimming in those.
[00:41:40] You can have a job at my company, though, and we'll pretend like you earned it.
[00:41:56] It's hard to sit here and tie for them.
[00:41:57] Honestly, it is one of the pure joys of my life.
[00:42:02] I don't want to sound like Mark Merrin, but I wake up.
[00:42:24] But what if he actually shits his pants?
[00:42:26] Then he has to go do an interview with Obama with his pants full of turns.
[00:42:31] What if that SNL sketch oops how you crap my pants?
[00:42:39] Let's imagine that this diaper is your diaper.
[00:42:42] And this gallon of iced tea is a gallon of your face.
[00:42:48] Yeah, the commercials in the 90s that they did were awesome.
[00:42:52] The one where Royal Feral was just mean to dogs.
[00:42:56] It was like a dog training thing where he was just verbally abusing dogs.
[00:43:00] I just remember Robert Goulay and he says the N word as Robert Goulay.
[00:43:30] And then that was like I think probably the first time for a lot of boys in our generation.
[00:43:41] What was that ball that had like a hundred like the horrible side?
[00:43:45] The horrible side effects that shit was awesome too.
[00:43:51] It was such a quick commercial that you have like.
[00:43:55] Nick's new thing is stabbing me with knives.
[00:43:57] You're doing that at dinner the other night.
[00:44:00] You're like making a point by like stabbing me in the art.
[00:44:15] You said my apartment on my plane Danny Boy on the piano.
[00:44:30] The things that happen when I spend too much time alone.
[00:44:39] You were sending us clips of HBO software ports.
[00:44:49] The way he was simulating sex from behind.
[00:44:53] You sit around watching software porn playing Danny Boy.
[00:44:58] Having a night with your high blood pressure.
[00:44:59] We got to get the band together finally dude.
[00:45:01] I know I've been out of town but Nick and I did buy a thousand dollars of music.
[00:45:08] I want to buy a really expensive tambourine.
[00:45:11] I'm going to get a real piano when Amber moves out.
[00:45:19] And Craigslist all the time because people don't want to move them.
[00:45:24] Because they like cost money to move in your city.
[00:45:35] He said it was like three dudes and they pretty much finessed it up the stairs one stair at
[00:45:46] I mean I had to bring that oven up the stairs and that was you didn't help at all.
[00:45:53] I brought it up another oven up to the third floor a couple of months ago.
[00:46:00] It was an easy big oven that you put in your hands.
[00:46:11] I remember it was like science experiments.
[00:46:24] I had a little cook that was an infant.
[00:46:25] Like as a one year old they got me like a little Fisher Price cooking shit.
[00:46:52] She knows she respects me as an alpha pack leader.
[00:47:01] And I pointed it right towards her dog pussy.
[00:47:06] We were watching the Sopranos last night when Nick came over the episode where they find
[00:47:14] And Paulie says, Paulie says, I'm going to stick my gun right over.
[00:47:19] He said, basically Paulie said that what he wanted to do was put a gun in Vito's ass.
[00:47:29] I just love the way Vito's dressed at the club.
[00:47:41] He's gay Mario because really the opposite of Mario's whole thing is like fucking some princess.
[00:47:54] He's like a little leather daddy outfit.
[00:47:55] Mostly looks exactly the same as Wario.
[00:48:11] Because they really are like the gay body type versions of Mario and Luigi.
[00:48:45] If you guys did Mario and Luigi it would be so cute.
[00:48:54] Man we have this conversation a lot on this show.
[00:48:56] Yeah it's probably me and Aldis being different kinds of things.
[00:48:59] That one is fat and short and one is tall.
[00:49:10] What's fat and what's a tall but less fat but still fat.
[00:49:19] I'm about like a magic eight ball and a lava lamp.
[00:49:23] Actually I love that he's got a shape like lava lamp.
[00:49:28] Imagine his internals are similar looking.
[00:49:36] Bright red from all the fucking Cheetos.
[00:49:41] Sorry for saying Andre the Giant was alive during World War I.
[00:49:46] I've made a lot of mistakes on this show.
[00:49:55] First of all, facts are just things that I say.
[00:49:58] It's not that real events as you believe them to have happened.
[00:50:07] He was fucking born during World War I.
[00:50:13] Some author would drive into school I remember.
[00:50:23] It's like you'll never believe who drove Andre the Giant to school.
[00:50:35] He talks about losing half his nose in a car accident.
[00:50:42] Yeah and then maybe I'm like confusing different stories.
[00:50:45] It might have been the Andre the Giant all about it.
[00:50:49] But yeah I remember yeah he like describes his like sister driving in a car and then he's
[00:50:59] He went through the windshield and fucking slices.
[00:51:07] Yeah and I'm like look at his nose dangle.
[00:51:09] Yeah just like as a child reading that.
[00:51:13] I remember I think there was something else in there about a guy breaking his arm and back
[00:51:16] then like they couldn't set it so like they just had a strong man like this arm off.
[00:51:22] Like pull on the compound fracture until the doctor could reset it.
[00:51:28] And again I don't remember if this was actually in the book or these things I imagine.
[00:51:31] I don't think any of this happened but yeah.
[00:51:33] This scenarios I came up with while drawing swastikas in my textbooks.
[00:51:44] I mean I was definitely a dick kid for sure.
[00:51:50] Everybody's drawing that S saying I'm like check out this S thing.
[00:52:01] Dasha, juris swastika, Bethany, on yesterday.
[00:52:09] I'm not a idyllic society with no fucking.
[00:52:11] Oh man I've been getting back into I went looking for it like a month ago and I couldn't
[00:52:15] find it beyond belief factor fiction hosted by originally James Brolin and then Jonathan
[00:52:23] It was a show that was on and I couldn't find it and then I found it like two weeks ago.
[00:52:35] He was supposed to be no country for old man.
[00:52:37] It was supposed to be him because it makes way more sense.
[00:52:41] You know, but they accidentally well and they accidentally sent it to a son.
[00:52:58] It was Samuel Beckett used to drive him to school.
[00:53:06] Sam Shepard drove Hulk Hogan to school.
[00:53:08] VG France is so funny that they were like they found like they were that was like the
[00:53:13] They were like, oh yeah, we're just like the Nazi French people.
[00:53:26] I'm a gay man who likes a Nazis, but then not as a Jews.
[00:53:42] I don't know why I was going to ask this question.
[00:53:46] Like when the Nazis took over France, his baby mama's crib, he went to England, Algeria.
[00:53:52] I went to Algeria and talked around with some hell of dark ass.
[00:54:04] Because then he came back after the war, right?
[00:54:06] Well, he just went to a different point of France.
[00:54:08] When you, when you, the Nazis took over all of France.
[00:54:11] The general ECMO of France and you lose, yes, or remove his little bean can hat and hand
[00:54:16] the turd that rests on his head to the invading leader, which is the greatest shame in France
[00:54:27] Because his turd has been pumping on Tony.
[00:54:29] You have a little, a little furry toy poodle take a dump on their head.
[00:54:34] When they first get their, you know, commission into the army, the French army.
[00:54:40] And if you ever lose that turd, you know, what happens?
[00:54:59] Dude, we could be in the, in that right now.
[00:55:02] Yeah. All three of us have sick ass mustaches.
[00:55:08] I found that picture when I let my mustache get huge as shit.
[00:55:12] I'm the worst facial hair of all time, but I got a little less mustaches.
[00:55:14] No, I kind of like how little your mustaches.
[00:55:19] I also like your last look like that drawing down Jones.
[00:55:25] Your jaw is literally just had part of it removed.
[00:55:34] That's how fucking masculine my jaw was.
[00:55:36] They were like, you fucking shit is too chiseled.
[00:55:42] I was going a little titty in my jaw, dude.
[00:55:45] Leno was thought of as super masculine.
[00:55:51] Every bitch wanted to get chin down by Leno.
[00:56:03] Do you think he fucks cars like that guy from TLC?
[00:56:09] Chice and I are in a sexual relationship.
[00:56:14] The guy that was fucking his car, Chase.
[00:56:20] Apparently people, I don't necessarily send me weird messages.
[00:56:31] I know I'm on the clock, but she's texting me while I'm trying to look up shit related
[00:56:35] Somebody sent me, I guess there's a weird deviant art thing where people draw pictures
[00:56:44] What kind of, like, where's their dick go?
[00:56:52] Does it have a dragon pussy in the car?
[00:57:00] That'd be a cool thing to put on a dragon pussy in your car.
[00:57:05] Have you guys seen that one video on the internet of the where they put a pocket pussy
[00:57:40] Well, no, Swastik was like hated Swastik.
[00:57:43] I was because Greek because they taught us that Nazis really fucked up.
[00:57:52] I just had like a really different upbringing where I was told that not.
[00:57:57] No, it's like when you hear a word is a bad word and then you go to your bedroom and
[00:58:01] then you say it alone so you can feel like you're doing something bad.
[00:58:04] Well, Nazis never like drawing a Swastik.
[00:58:07] They really fucked our asses in Greece.
[00:58:18] They fucked up our fucking democratically elected socialist prime minister.
[00:58:21] Hell, you're back to fucking military coup.
[00:58:31] We should have a junta on this show where I'm a chairman or a Lisa.
[00:58:41] I'm ready to be like, you know, sort of the coach of the show.
[00:58:50] You know, I'm a like a cut man, you know, I'm in the corner.
[00:58:54] I can't, I can't get in the ring anymore.
[00:59:07] Look, they're coming about to turn the show off.
[00:59:12] It's going to be lights out for you, kid, unless you fucking get in there.
[00:59:17] I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like
[00:59:22] a kid, unless you fucking get in there and you say new go more.
[00:59:26] What if I do a Rihanna song, but it's about stuck in dick.
[00:59:31] I mean, fucking I don't know why I'm tired.
[00:59:34] You seem to have a pretty good grasp of what works here.
[01:00:10] Fuck, I was doing a really good one earlier today in my house, but I forgot it.
[01:00:31] The Mortal Kombat song is like, I would.
[01:00:36] If you're reading it, it's modern Screlly.
[01:00:51] The Mortal Kombat song has to be the best example of hard style techno.
[01:00:55] That has to be the most famous hard style techno song of all time.
[01:01:00] You know what my friend told me the other day?
[01:01:04] The song that's considered to be the best example of world music.
[01:01:09] Darude Sandstorm is the halo load screen music.
[01:01:34] Tom Sizewar is just like murdering people.
[01:01:39] This is silent chopper, slowly rotating in the background.
[01:01:44] Do you remember when Sting and the guy?
[01:01:51] I wonder if the guys at the Bodega sing along to those songs.
[01:02:09] You remember A-Rabb money by Buster Ryan?
[01:02:41] Next funny, Mom, this is the 9th of April.
[01:02:44] We changed the time, the day of, and everyone.
[01:02:57] We're going to go through the best comic.
[01:03:01] So that's going to be a fucking great show then.
[01:03:03] A porna, Nicky Glazer, Kate Willitt, really good comics.
[01:03:06] And then actually the next one, it's Gay Guys.