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Bonus 104 - should I grow mutton chops

Cum Town | Premium | 10/01/2018

[00:00:00] And we're having sex welcome to come town damn. I'm sleepy. This is gonna be a good bad one really
[00:00:06] Yeah, people love sleepy Nick. They love your sleepy. Are you grabbing your nuts? Yeah? Well, I'm scratching them
[00:00:12] I'm achy it looks like a grab to me man. No, it's a strong doing. I'm not fondling
[00:00:17] I'm doing this where you scratch the side
[00:00:20] this move
[00:00:22] Yeah, yeah, yeah, the reverse fat slap your dick. Yeah, yeah, you do like one of yeah
[00:00:31] Classic when you scratch your nuts do you go bare skin or do you go through boxers? Oh, I go bare skin
[00:00:36] I'm just checking go around shaking hands with the neighborhood children
[00:00:41] Do you ever do the scratch we kind of stretch your please to meet you little man
[00:00:46] How you doing so, brother? How you doing soldier?
[00:00:49] You got a young soldier
[00:00:53] Come on come on Marcus shake the man's hand
[00:00:57] He's calling you a soldier
[00:01:00] You ain't gonna not shake the man's hand
[00:01:03] Thank you, sir. Thanks for teaching your son respect
[00:01:08] I lost track of who you were
[00:01:11] I'm the guy scratching his balls and then shaking black children's hands
[00:01:15] Were you vocalizing though doing a bit of what's that yeah, okay?
[00:01:20] Okay, I was calling him little man and soldier. Okay, and then his father was scolding him for not shaking God's again
[00:01:28] Nice
[00:01:29] Yeah, I like to do you know it's ever get like wildly itchy. Oh, yeah, where it's like you have to really you know
[00:01:35] I'm a screw to my have yeah, I have an excess you do yeah
[00:01:40] You know they're not little they're fine have their fine nuts. Yeah, you got small ball
[00:01:44] I don't have small I don't have to get into this what you have you have like little marbles
[00:01:50] But they're heavy so they stretch your sack out marbles
[00:01:54] Come on you do I have golf balls. Yeah, I have biggest size possible. Yeah. Yeah, well, you know how
[00:02:03] They do probably yeah for sure yeah ladies size now different colors you're thinking a putt putt
[00:02:09] That's true. I like I like how in golf. There's a ladies T and a men's T is there yeah, there's like the higher
[00:02:18] It's closer
[00:02:19] There's like a ladies oh distance like yeah, there's like a ladies place that you that you are being the golf drive from
[00:02:25] Shout out to tiger wood tiger wood
[00:02:28] We should be talking to you so heroin and go to miniature golf
[00:02:31] Why should we do the lights down with miniature golf? I remember going to a pup up or a miniature place in Austin with
[00:02:37] With Jake and someone else and I think we just assumed it was BY OB
[00:02:44] It may not have been
[00:02:47] Hell yeah, yeah, just getting drunk as hell. This is a fun day
[00:02:50] I was wearing basketball shorts and I figured out how to like put the basketball shorts like right on the edge of my hip
[00:02:55] So while I was setting up the the shot I could just move a certain way that my pants would fall down
[00:03:01] Classic bit, but then I was just exposing myself to all these families
[00:03:08] Just hold up the line there's like eight people waiting to go and it gets you sticking your tongue on your cheek
[00:03:14] We got this and then your pants fall down
[00:03:17] Yeah, seeing your hairy ass and nuts
[00:03:19] Oh dang just a bunch of Hank Hills. Yeah, Bobbi. It's time to sell gay sex and gay sex accessories. I
[00:03:31] Love gay sex. Hello. Sienzo. Yo tango gay sexa
[00:03:36] That's crazy. I love gay sex
[00:03:40] Dad can I have gay sex when I grow up
[00:03:43] New rule lots out at 8 30
[00:03:52] Can me and Joseph have gay sex
[00:03:59] When you're older son Bobby please go back to trying to fuck the Chinese girl next door
[00:04:06] But dad why can't she be a boy because us heads so that's why
[00:04:12] But I want to have gay sex
[00:04:19] Good Lord
[00:04:22] Bobby definitely was gay, right? That's the whole Bobby Bobby is a ladies man. Yeah, I think the fat boy
[00:04:28] No, it's just a face a delicate fat boy. Yeah, he's it. Yeah, he's a baby
[00:04:32] All of us who do you think knows about delicate fat boys here? You're not delicate. You're not delicate at all. You're no
[00:04:37] It's a fucking potting. I'm not
[00:04:39] Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's nothing delicate or sensitive
[00:04:44] Not at all
[00:04:46] You're clunky
[00:04:50] You're plotting clunk. I'm grace for your applaud clock
[00:04:54] Christmas with the clunks do you know you're gonna do a movie like Eddie Murphy style where you're gonna play all the clunks?
[00:05:00] Yeah, it's gonna be different family members. I can do that because that's fantasy. That's acting I can play a role
[00:05:05] That's not me fine John Redcorn. How do you do Dale John Redcorn's coming over later?
[00:05:12] Yeah, that sounds but it's Dale Dale having sex with John Redcorn
[00:05:19] He gave birth to Joseph out of his ass it really is the best show. Oh geez. It's me John Redcorn
[00:05:27] Oh, it's it's me John Redcorn
[00:05:29] All right, dude me and Brian we're having gay sex with each other
[00:05:37] Peter I don't know if we can keep having gay sex with each other is it gay sex if it's a dog
[00:05:43] Yeah, you can have a reality
[00:05:46] Yeah, yeah, that's what I always say is that me and my dog have straight sex
[00:05:50] That's not we ain't the fucking queer I fuck girl dogs
[00:05:59] Don't call me no fucking fairy dad were you and John Redcorn having gay sex
[00:06:07] Bobby mind your own business
[00:06:09] Damn yeah, that's fun. What about cotton, you know, what would gay cotton?
[00:06:25] Bobby you know I lost my knees blowing the jet blowing the Japanese
[00:06:31] Well, it's a Japanese or Korean I think you did it. I'm all yeah
[00:06:38] He was in all the wars. I did like when he knew exactly here comes tidbit to ruin the cotton impression. Sorry
[00:06:46] Sorry, sorry cotton
[00:06:49] God damn naming his second son Hank was
[00:06:52] And then him knowing that cons dad was fucking lay ocean was hilarious. No, you are you lay ocean boy?
[00:07:02] Yeah, you ain't Cambodian you lay ocean boy
[00:07:06] Just fucking con being taken aback about a white man knowing what kind of agent he was
[00:07:13] That is the the biggest type of race when you get so racist, you know exactly the differences
[00:07:18] Shouts out to no no, but I think that that's more work to know the differences
[00:07:24] For a long time. I just thought all Asians were you know no no on the same team of course
[00:07:29] That's the obvious thing yeah, but to be so racist that you know the difference because he knows he knows he knows he has special
[00:07:35] Stereotypes for lay oceans and really for cotton it was a thing of killing them
[00:07:39] Mm-hmm. He knew the differences between Asians the way like a hunter knows the difference between a white-tailed deer
[00:07:45] Another kind should I get into hunting
[00:07:47] No, I feel like there's a mouse in my apartment. I can't bring myself to kill it. I feel like dude
[00:07:53] It's more
[00:07:56] Hunting man. Oh, yeah, that's what I meant. I
[00:07:59] Feel like it's cheap just to go out with a gun
[00:08:01] But if you have a bow and I was laughing the other day about Adam
[00:08:03] Like looking through like a one of those big atlases for children and comes across the aisle of man and he's like
[00:08:08] Oh, I'm just calling up travel agencies
[00:08:31] I feel like there is is that the most is that the most used song on
[00:08:36] On movie trailers walking on sunshine I have no fucking idea
[00:08:42] There's one that's big. That's a big one mr. Blues the that yellow song
[00:08:55] Mr. Blue Sky yeah, you know rules dude. They're amazing. So many hits so many hits four little diamonds
[00:09:02] I mean bring me down a hundred percent telephone line has made famous in the scene in Billy Madison where he calls
[00:09:08] Steve Buscemi puts the lipstick on oh, yeah
[00:09:12] Yeah, so many so many fucking slappers. I always thought that I would suck her dick
[00:09:18] And then she wouldn't let me suck
[00:09:21] Yeah, that guy also was like the producer for like Tom Petty and the heartbreakers and he made mad hits
[00:09:39] Yeah, Tom Peterson the dick suckers Adam's favorite band
[00:09:42] Come on. That's what he listens to on his trip to the island
[00:09:46] And don't it feel good. Yeah, that was
[00:09:50] But it's two ends
[00:09:54] Having
[00:09:57] Very expertly done
[00:10:02] I was really thinking where you're gonna go with that I thought you were gonna say half hard
[00:10:06] No, no, no, no, I knew it was gonna be having good. Yeah, but you guys are better at the leader of the band. I know I'm the ringo
[00:10:16] No, you're that guy that dances in the mighty mighty Boston
[00:10:19] Guy gay
[00:10:21] Keep dancing
[00:10:24] Skanker because I don't want to get sued
[00:10:26] Yeah
[00:10:35] Just a checker time shit do you think that's gonna come back?
[00:10:38] No, no, who cares?
[00:10:41] They'll give me Scott never gonna be swing revival again. Yeah, you swing revival. No chance
[00:10:46] 1990s were pretty fucking retarded. We were talking about that with Max after the concert the thing got in
[00:10:51] In the 90s things got too comfortable and they made a lot of cultural missteps. It shouldn't have happened
[00:10:57] There was like a weird hippie thing in the 90s, too
[00:10:59] There's like a tie dot. Yes, like Woodstock 95 was like
[00:11:04] Bottom jeans bell bottoms came back. I feel like those were sort of back flares
[00:11:09] They had flipped the people were in flare jeans
[00:11:12] Girls got into flares for a little bit for a hot second
[00:11:16] I feel like it's because they look fucking stinkos are back now. I think those are not back
[00:11:21] No, see I see like skater. No, you don't know dude. We're talking gas jeans bubble vests backwards hats
[00:11:28] That shit is kind backwards fitted. Yeah. Yeah, yeah hot gas jeans are all right
[00:11:33] Yes, jeans Tommy Hilfiger
[00:11:36] Structured denim. I like that shit. Yeah color block tees and
[00:11:41] rugby shirts
[00:11:42] Just the mob deep look I'm gonna start dressing that way where rugby shirts in high school. Yeah mid 90s
[00:11:49] Eth ethnics style ethnic stuff what happened when Tommy Hilfiger like found out black people were wearing his clothes and he was like
[00:11:57] Yeah, he was like oh shit, and then he was like no not allowed
[00:12:01] No more. He's cool. No, he was like he was friends with him. He didn't like it. No, he was yeah
[00:12:07] He became friends with rappers, but at first he was like oh no
[00:12:11] Yeah, there goes the neighborhood there goes my brand
[00:12:14] There goes my stupid his name's not Hilfiger either right? He's like a Jewish guy. No
[00:12:19] Lauren Ralph Lauren is Ralph lift lift ships
[00:12:25] You like you like you didn't had a hat that had the polo horse and then it said Ralph lift shit sometimes
[00:12:31] That's cool. Yeah
[00:12:34] Well, we got we need new style. That's been fashion corner
[00:12:37] I feel like we should just wait for Tokyo and then assume our new
[00:12:40] Fashion and shop. Yeah, dude. I was looking at what size Adidas
[00:12:44] I would wear in Japan because they have like different non applicable six X
[00:12:51] Yeah, I'm looking forward to having to cut you out of your clothes with a katana
[00:12:57] That's my job
[00:13:02] Bia samura I've eaten my way
[00:13:04] I can't wait to eviscerate myself with that sword in that forest in the suicide forest
[00:13:11] Yeah, we shouldn't have told you about it. Yeah, I can't believe you didn't know what this is my like my mental image of our trip to Japan
[00:13:17] I'm in a Gundam the entire time
[00:13:22] Just going around
[00:13:24] Cities there's like
[00:13:26] Thousands of 11 year old Japanese girls
[00:13:37] In the suit
[00:13:40] Of course a giant 40 story tall robot costume just murdering
[00:13:46] This is all I know of love
[00:13:48] It is very good to meet you though. I can you please stop doing that? We speak
[00:13:57] You're the only one of us that likes anime right stuff
[00:14:00] I don't like it. I mean I'm an appreciator of all art forms and yes, am I hoping to meet Goku in person? Yes, of course
[00:14:09] Yeah, I also did watch something called one punch man, and that was pretty good
[00:14:13] It's about a bald guy who's a superhero. So I you know yeah
[00:14:17] Respect it was like professor X. Yeah, professor X
[00:14:24] It's just that that chair that he floats around in is like there's a woman trapped in there
[00:14:29] Second it's a machine that just like puts her pussy and ass
[00:14:36] Like I'm being raped and he's like I was like a white noise machine and he turns up
[00:14:42] No, he's got his helmet on yeah
[00:14:44] And then like is that a woman screaming from inside your wheelchair? He's like I have to concentrate
[00:14:50] Shut up quiet. Yeah, I can eat those loose again
[00:14:56] I mean, it's not even real dude. He's created fake bill. This is a rape as a cover for rape. Yeah, I like professor sex
[00:15:04] That's a good one. I can't believe we haven't gotten there. We might have who cares yeah one of the episodes you weren't on probably
[00:15:10] Probably on one of the good ones. I was in love
[00:15:12] Mm-hmm. Hey, man. No one said that you're projecting
[00:15:16] Plenty of people who said that
[00:15:19] Including my landlord
[00:15:21] How about a professor Rex?
[00:15:25] Tillerson no 11 year old pussy. That's nice. Yeah, Japanese this time to or no. Yes always yeah
[00:15:31] I mean it would be wrong to fuck a regular 11 year old
[00:15:35] I'm just trying to look when in Rome sure sure
[00:15:39] Japan
[00:15:41] Yes, three years of every literally 13 is it yeah, yeah, I mean I feel like in Fantilat like sexy
[00:15:49] Like what sex is there is a children's I don't want to we got to hit up the wrong place
[00:15:57] I don't know I think in in do carry out Adam would absolutely do it if we were if we were like yeah
[00:16:03] For the crew if if I hadn't already said this oh come on dude, you know Adam would have had sex with my girlfriend
[00:16:11] I know if you didn't have a girlfriend. Yeah, I guarantee I guarantee that I'm free
[00:16:16] I know 100% believe and then and I'm just gonna see like school girls like wearing like sailor things
[00:16:22] She's gonna be like oh my god. They're fans of mine
[00:16:25] Yeah, and then he would be like the next day be like I can't believe I did that
[00:16:31] Or whatever
[00:16:33] Yeah
[00:16:35] What if I do I'm like 30 years old I had sex with a 14 year old girl
[00:16:42] For money I paid money to have sex with a 14 year old God
[00:16:47] Our lives are so stupid. It's like oh, it's our lives now. Oh all of us did that is yeah
[00:16:53] He made us you guys said that it was like a crew activity. Yeah, I just wanted to feel bonded to you
[00:17:00] You go first then we call the Japanese police. Yeah, and then they said 12 that's fine
[00:17:06] Japanese police they dress like speed racer
[00:17:14] Freeze I'm gay
[00:17:16] Please I do
[00:17:18] please that yeah
[00:17:20] Damn I want I
[00:17:22] Read I am by read. I mean I saw a Facebook video
[00:17:25] I think where they were saying that Japanese weren't like all weird and freaky until we dropped the bomb on them
[00:17:31] Yeah, that made them horny as shit. No
[00:17:34] Well the sizable percentage of Japanese people have stopped having sex. No, really. Yeah
[00:17:40] Although you know that job that like there's like a rich Japanese businessmen that are too busy at work and don't have time to
[00:17:47] Fuck their wives. They hire men to fuck their wives. Yeah, there's like a there's a term never coming back from Japan
[00:17:53] Yeah, you're gonna become like a stud. That's why that's why
[00:17:56] Japanese white stuff beautiful silk robe. Yeah, just on sitting on like bamboo
[00:18:02] He's gonna go the suicide force. You're gonna become a sex
[00:18:06] Like a surrogate cock. I'm gonna be yeah, I'm gonna and then I'm
[00:18:09] Toyota CEO's wife. I'm gonna become like a motorcycle Yakuza kind of guy. No full-body
[00:18:15] Tat. Yes, I will no you won't full-body Tat running drugs drifting through Tokyo
[00:18:21] Oh, we got a drift dude. Well, I'm gonna be a stud but I'm also gonna be Uma Thurman from Kill Bill
[00:18:27] And I'm gonna kill 800
[00:18:29] Guys in suits. I'm gonna get a tattoo of Hank Hill is a gay shit and in Japanese it says I sell gay sex
[00:18:38] Oh we can't I didn't translate it. It's like I respect the power of men's bodies
[00:18:43] I know the accoutrements contained therein
[00:18:51] What the fuck is that tattoo that would be tied though if we all just stayed
[00:18:56] Japan you lives in Japan. Yeah, I might move the Prague at some point. Yeah, why they've got a nomadic tube system
[00:19:03] You fucking beat
[00:19:10] So it places the world is less than the magic to posters just them that's cool
[00:19:14] I guess that's just send people lollipops. You want to do that with Richard. We have mail
[00:19:20] Just a whole face full of oh you can do magic tube something like instantly to your friend's house. Yeah
[00:19:25] Wow, yeah now who's this fucking retarget? No chance. I know probably like four building progress a big gangbang scene
[00:19:33] According to porn have great porn. I got yeah, I think it is I think it is casting
[00:19:38] I think the check republic is like the San Fernando Valley of oh, yeah, check women are hoars
[00:19:44] Should we go? I know a couple of the women in those we go there for wall over here women and they're
[00:19:49] Horrors yeah, and they're all sexy too. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they're hot. Let's go to Prague
[00:19:55] I'm in I'm moving dude. I'm gonna do a couple months six months in Japan as a stud
[00:20:00] All right get my numbers up. Mm-hmm easy on small Japanese pieces should Berlin to that's next Berlin
[00:20:07] Prague first then Berlin
[00:20:13] Really people like what do you an excel for him? I kind of know
[00:20:19] Yeah, that's that's how like
[00:20:22] You know
[00:20:23] James Baldwin and like those kind of people were in James balls deep. He will he like that
[00:20:29] Yeah, they all who was a year they all moved to Europe, you know as expats
[00:20:35] We could in theory. Can you imagine being living back in those days of being gay and black your whole life is just a curb your enthusiasm
[00:20:46] And he's gay to
[00:20:48] Bum bum bum bum and that was probably like the number one song on the radio at the time the
[00:20:57] woman going
[00:21:04] That's the slapper dude that one goes that's a track right there
[00:21:09] We could in theory just spend like a year living in different cities and just doing the podcast from there
[00:21:15] Yeah, that would be funny as shit dude. Yeah, you guys are not gonna believe this African shit. We saw today
[00:21:21] We saw some real Africa shit
[00:21:30] It's wild yo, we're in Lagos, Nigeria right now. Yeah, I've been doing this thing where I try and I
[00:21:37] Try and swish trash into one of those baskets on those ladies heads
[00:21:45] Watering hole and I'm just swishing bald up pieces of trash directly into her head
[00:21:52] Dude, we should do it fuck half court
[00:21:55] Garbage hitting one of those women's faces. Yeah, I'm on the backboard. He gets the rebound
[00:22:00] Circling yeah, and your nuts hit her head or face
[00:22:07] You blame it on me, then I get beat up by well would be your fault
[00:22:11] No, it would be my fault. It would be your fault. You'd be throwing off our aim
[00:22:13] You'd be just away. It would be your fault. You could say one might say that it was your fault
[00:22:23] All right, so Berlin Prague Lagos, Nigeria
[00:22:27] Hawaii
[00:22:29] Why you know like another country like the why
[00:22:34] Yeah, it was another country until
[00:22:36] 1952
[00:22:38] I have no idea knows earlier than that where we killed there was like a yeah, they hit us in Pearl Harbor
[00:22:44] That was like 41 in a state, but it was part of the United States
[00:22:50] I mean that'd be like bombing was in a state. Let's put it that way. Yeah, it'd be like bombing Puerto Rico
[00:22:54] Which mother nature did?
[00:22:56] Yeah, I don't consider Puerto Rico part of the United States
[00:23:00] I do mean part of the United States has more to do with feeling that's all my borequas
[00:23:06] You know yeah Puerto Rico is fucked right now
[00:23:10] Alaska is still basically Russia in my mind nice. Yeah, Sewards
[00:23:15] Folly they got no good pussy over in Alaska. Yeah me
[00:23:20] just hair pale and I feel like they
[00:23:22] They
[00:23:24] Got like a cool situation up there
[00:23:27] No way. Well, I feel like the Wi-Fi isn't that good though my cousin used to let she used to live with the shoes
[00:23:32] Or once we destroy for unions. We destroy the the world with global warming Alaska is gonna be the spot
[00:23:39] I guess that's gonna be the new who want to get property there now
[00:23:43] You know little forests
[00:23:45] Get your dick sucked by a polar bear become a fucking millionaire
[00:23:48] No, which will be worthless in those
[00:23:53] Yeah, the only currency will be bear meat
[00:23:56] Yeah, bear meat and seal blubber Selman
[00:24:00] Mechete carry a machete around threatened people would you guys eat seal blubber? It probably tastes delicious just fat
[00:24:07] Probably probably like I would eat seal meat. I wouldn't need to just a blubber. That sounds disgusting
[00:24:12] Dude, you you don't need you spray on a piece of toast. What are you club seals for sport?
[00:24:16] I think they're fur their fur
[00:24:20] Am should I get a super hat? Yeah, that's like
[00:24:29] Seals are that furry would be such a good look
[00:24:32] They seal fur beavers are furry seals are their furry whatever hide pelter their pelky. Yeah, yeah, I
[00:24:40] Think it's very warm
[00:24:42] They're pelts. Yeah, probably say the blubber dude. You get a little piece of brioche toast
[00:24:47] Toasted up. I love to brioche my dick off
[00:24:52] Breathe breathe off shoot my dick nice
[00:24:59] You know like I was at the innuendo but alluding to masturbating
[00:25:03] Something that I can't do
[00:25:06] You know that fucking about beat off
[00:25:09] That's how I would like to enjoy this
[00:25:12] What do you think the best kind of bread to fuck is best kind of bread to fuck tombstone pizza?
[00:25:19] Nice hot
[00:25:20] Yeah, not frozen. Oh, yeah, I live Chicago style Luma alnautis style piece of pizza would be nice to fuck
[00:25:27] Yeah, I couldn't even name a type of bread
[00:25:29] There's a type of pizza. Hala bread
[00:25:31] That would be nice you might want to get a probably a ron or like pumpernickel a croissant
[00:25:39] Pretty flaky fuck the pumpernickel and you're like, oh, yeah, give me that
[00:25:51] Like what's going on in there? You're like I'll be out in a minute
[00:25:54] And then they're like you can't what are you doing? And it's like look you said no rules just right?
[00:25:58] Yeah, I like their bread dude. Yeah, they got that dark dork ass bread. They have the dork bread. Yeah, I like um
[00:26:08] She bought him there's this Instagram girl. I follow that I kind of have a crush on
[00:26:12] I see you that's a good and she sure you clip this part and send it to Dasha if you're listening
[00:26:16] Dasha knows about it. She did hit me when I told her about it
[00:26:20] But what's your name? What's his name? This girl's name is it's just bread face girl
[00:26:25] She just puts her face in bread. Yeah, it's just it. It's just an Asian girl. Yeah
[00:26:33] Bread face blog or something
[00:26:37] What do you mean you don't know how I like it? She just puts her face in bread
[00:26:45] You couldn't find that at the at the
[00:26:48] Paul Simon show the only guest spot was his wife came out and did the whistle part of me
[00:26:55] And Julio down at the school yard and Nick goes ladies and gentlemen the whistle
[00:27:10] You only whistle I love this shit scorpions the winds of change
[00:27:14] Do they have a guy whistling over it? Oh, yeah, you look so stop. I look up this bread face girl
[00:27:20] Yeah, it's an Asian girl literally looks like an 11 year old Asian race fucking
[00:27:27] Yeah, I can't believe I fucked that 14
[00:27:31] For money she paid me. This is a child
[00:27:37] 28 probably weighs 90 pounds. That's not a high lady. I mean she's fine. I'm not I don't really have a crush on her
[00:27:44] Look, oh now you don't have a crush on her. Oh, I just like her vibe, dude
[00:27:48] I like I like what she's about why don't you vibe on these nuts? All right, you're gonna have a soon. Yeah, dude
[00:27:54] It's gonna be so funny. I've been dashing loose for now when people are like what do you have to say about Adam Friedlin in a soon?
[00:28:00] Yeah, I'm like, I don't know who the fuck Adam Friedlin is
[00:28:03] Like you didn't show up for years. I'm like man. I don't know what you're fucking talking about my name's Golan
[00:28:09] I've been working a game stop for 40 years. I don't know any of this shit
[00:28:13] You're just broken and a game stop in Alaska
[00:28:23] I'm never ed sex. I've never got a show. I don't leave me alone
[00:28:30] Yeah, dude, I would then something fake funeral and then it's like no
[00:28:34] It's like history of violence and like Nick has to like stop his like mild man or temperament and go back to potting trolling
[00:28:41] Yeah, and it's a posting his family like can't believe it
[00:28:44] He's like the greatest poster of all time. He's partner. He's partner Frank. Yes. Yes
[00:28:50] His partner the handlebar mustache guy from the
[00:28:54] Gay guy
[00:28:57] Yeah, well, no anything about this rapist Adam Friedland and his 12 year old Asian wife
[00:29:02] That'd be so funny Nick is living with vetoes boyfriend. He has a pranos in for moderny
[00:29:08] Hampshire whatever. Yeah, goddamn. You know is the best because the reason he went back to certain execution
[00:29:16] Work
[00:29:18] For like four hours
[00:29:21] He finally could live as a gay man in a beautiful town in New Hampshire
[00:29:27] We just are with like a way better looking husband than his wife. We're doing the sopranos again nice
[00:29:32] So his wife was hot in the shows here. What's your remember?
[00:29:35] Did you remember?
[00:29:38] The scene where like Tony meets up with Vito in the mall like he's like trying to get back in the life
[00:29:44] Yeah, like he's like left New Hampshire
[00:29:46] And then he's like I brought my brother with me and it's just a guy that looks exactly like you
[00:29:51] Like standing in a track. No, he's not as cute as me. Vito's brother. Not even close
[00:29:56] No, it's pretty fun. I have the fucking panache. He doesn't have the vibes. Vito's metaphor
[00:30:01] He's not putting off the cute ass where you have panache now. I have panache. No, dude
[00:30:05] I'm sensitive when I have panache when you're not
[00:30:08] Not clunky
[00:30:10] Sensitive sounds like yo, do you got any panache M&M's?
[00:30:15] He's like oh, yeah, that's right. It's all said
[00:30:19] Talking about good Nash. I forgot how to pro pro say it
[00:30:23] Dude pro saying things is fucking hard sometimes. Yeah, I don't know how to pro say
[00:30:39] What Tom is it
[00:30:46] And
[00:30:48] By the way, yeah, you are dude. I'm way dude. You and dash you're gonna adopt and the fuck
[00:30:57] That's gonna turn psycho just gonna go
[00:31:00] 80 kids that are like a blind and can't walk and shit and then like
[00:31:05] music and then you're gonna fuck the
[00:31:07] Chinese just the most Chinese one dude when you read those articles about like what that Mia Farah woody
[00:31:13] Island household situation was like it just sounded like a nightmare. Yeah, just heard she like got addicted to adopting
[00:31:21] That's so weird. She became like child hoarder. That's crazy. You know
[00:31:26] What was mere pharaoh's big hits?
[00:31:28] Rosemary's baby a ton of woody allen movies. She used to be hot. Oh, yeah. Yeah, she looked good dude
[00:31:36] You slide her the Salic. Oh, yeah, baby. Of course
[00:31:39] Yeah, she used to fuck Sinatra hell. Yeah, she's the fuck the fuck the chairman of the board chairman of the board, baby
[00:31:49] You know what I watched recently was a serious man. I love that. She was good as hell, dude
[00:31:54] It's a great movie. It's a huge indictment on the coward and you
[00:31:59] It really fucked me up. What are you playing? It fucked me up for like a month clip from all dogs go to heaven
[00:32:05] I forgot about
[00:32:07] Itchy itchy is a Chinese guy
[00:32:15] Put it on the mic for the folks to hear oh
[00:32:17] You made this vin I did
[00:32:20] Nick your vids are good man. Oh, thanks man. You should become a video. I've always said that sopranos bad parenting videos
[00:32:28] one of the fucking funniest ones
[00:32:30] On the whole YouTube
[00:32:32] Knitting factory clip when I had that giant beard
[00:32:37] Damn, maybe I should should I go beard again? Yeah, dude. You should go when you're a beard and and beanie guy. Yeah, I
[00:32:46] Think my next look is shaving my eyebrows in my head
[00:32:58] Listen everybody I have cancer I really hate to interrupt your afternoon
[00:33:02] I have cancer and somebody tries to hand me money. I'm like, I don't need money
[00:33:10] Cancer I just want the attention
[00:33:15] I just want people to look at me and feel bad for me
[00:33:19] You do it on a day where you get a little stubble going
[00:33:22] I just get too lazy to even do the character anymore and all my hair grows back
[00:33:32] I'm cancer
[00:33:35] Go into chemotherapy right now
[00:33:38] They got me on every one of the drugs prep
[00:33:42] They got me on prep I got a ZT
[00:33:46] What about Nemo therapy
[00:33:48] You trying well cure finding Nemo. Yep. Thank you my wife. I'm finding fun here. Yeah. How about emo therapy?
[00:33:58] Nulus you're scared
[00:34:00] You hang out with Blake midget
[00:34:03] Do you ready your is Blake in law school? Yeah Blake midget is in the wall
[00:34:11] Yeah, how's Blake dude? Oh, he's he's a lawyer now. No, I'm just kidding. He's smoking crap
[00:34:16] He's stopped. He's stopped smoking crack. He's a lawyer now
[00:34:21] Where is he we should get about boys and their boys only
[00:34:27] What about chef boy
[00:34:29] And it's little boys dicks and cans that you suck
[00:34:33] Why not because Adam would prefer it's an 11 year old Chinese course 11 year old Japanese girl what about
[00:34:40] chef girl R. D for you then
[00:34:43] Mm-hmm. Adam likes chef boy. Am I a pedophile?
[00:34:48] Something calling me a pedophile. I'm not dude. He's not I literally have never once I literally
[00:34:54] I literally didn't even have sex when I was under 18
[00:34:58] No, that's the worst part about not having sex under 18. You know well. Yeah, that's really fucked Nick
[00:35:04] You had sex at like 15 you fucked kids. Yeah, I did you literally fucked kids
[00:35:09] I have to explain like cuz I have technically fucked a couple of 14
[00:35:18] Who's the pedophile now I can't wait to write that in like a biography for you
[00:35:23] Yeah, it was in some alternate universe where you're an author. Yeah, I'm gonna write your biography
[00:35:28] Yeah, that's how I'm get the bag dude. Once this shows over I'm gonna I'm gonna do
[00:35:33] All-access backstage
[00:35:35] Biography and I'm gonna say Nick Nick Mullen about all black says
[00:35:41] Black says Hollywood black says Hollywood's good. It's Carlton hosted. Yeah, it's the same show
[00:35:49] I was gonna say we should pitch black says Hollywood. He looks he is not aged today
[00:35:56] No, he's not yes. He is who Al Fonzo Al Fonzo whatever is the name of no he's not Carlton Carlton's not Jack. He's Jack, dude
[00:36:04] No, yes, he is Mario Lopez is sort of Adam thinks any guy he's seen open the door to a Panera without using both hands
[00:36:12] That's real straight
[00:36:17] Dude this guy
[00:36:20] He didn't have to pretend like he was in a tug-of-war game with that the door to that King goes
[00:36:27] He was able to walk a dog without running for his life after it. Yeah
[00:36:32] Yeah, yeah, every dog does the Marmett's googling Alfonso Ribiero shirtless
[00:36:41] Banana without any help he didn't even need to use scissors to open up
[00:36:48] Well, I guess he's not jacked anymore, but he was never Jack Adam
[00:36:52] He was dude look at him next to Hillary Adam look at that fucking definition. Oh when he was 30 years ago
[00:36:57] He looked that's him now. He's still Jack. He's not Jack, bro
[00:37:00] Look at that fucking definition, dude
[00:37:03] Jack they're just a black man. It is all another great question. That's a good webs. That's a good game show
[00:37:09] Jack their black like hot or not
[00:37:13] God free
[00:37:15] Jack their black
[00:37:18] Kevin Hart's ripped
[00:37:21] Yeah, I guess he does have some mass here. Yeah, he's got mass dude
[00:37:25] Not there though, that's just that's black yeah, Jack your black dude look in his natural habitat
[00:37:35] It's a boardroom
[00:37:39] Library the intelligence section
[00:37:46] He's it was a library where he reads and raises his son
[00:37:50] Oh
[00:37:53] No, he's just fat as shit
[00:37:56] Jack he's historically jacked. No, he's just a few years a fat piece of shit
[00:38:03] Don't talk shit. Don't talk shit about fat guys man, but well no, I just meant about Carlton
[00:38:09] Fuck Carlton. How about that Carlton never had an he was never in anything after that, right?
[00:38:13] He was like he hosted shows he was like the lip sync battle or something hosted
[00:38:18] But he could never get a
[00:38:20] Role after that. Yeah, I know I always wanted to see him play me. It's not unusual to get fucked inside your ass
[00:38:28] He's from the Bronx. Yeah
[00:38:31] Damn Bronx original baby just like us was he in Bronx town? Well Bronx boys
[00:38:36] Yeah, I think we should retcon the show or we're off on the Bronx
[00:38:40] Every fucking life from Arthur Avenue at the God really cool store every episode
[00:38:44] We're just a couple of fucking fellas from the Bronx and then people new guys to the show like I really love these Bronx guys
[00:38:52] And so we get all of them we should change our name to the bodega boys. Yeah
[00:38:56] Yeah, they are literally the Bronx podcast a couple of boneheads
[00:39:01] You know bonehead sounds so racist
[00:39:04] Yeah, you know I can't stand this
[00:39:07] Can't stand these frickin boneheads
[00:39:10] So
[00:39:13] It's not unusual to get fucked in my
[00:39:24] Soul train
[00:39:26] I'm fucking good. Oh, I see my music making fun. Oh, yeah, and when you hold me down
[00:39:40] In my
[00:39:45] Damn, I hope I forget how to read this year. That would be pretty cool. Yeah, it's I'm telling you being stupid is great
[00:39:52] Yeah, it's got I've got definitely got dumber in the last two years. Oh for sure. Oh
[00:39:57] Whoa, he won dancing with the stars season 19. Okay, what is this weird Carlton obsession?
[00:40:05] We're doing songs and they're like whoa, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Here's more shirtless pictures of him in the jungle
[00:40:11] He's not even on the internet. It's just on his phone
[00:40:13] Just saved my camera roll. Yeah, that says
[00:40:19] Calm Carl
[00:40:21] Ribi arrow shirtless pics
[00:40:24] To see me fuck you. I want to go to Massachusetts on Sunday. Are you going Sunday? Yeah for a little party's out of town
[00:40:32] When are you going how are you going? I guess so driving by myself
[00:40:36] I'll come back one day. You just wanted stop to go. Yeah, well, he asked for stuff. I'm more I'm fun at parties
[00:40:42] Yeah, but nobody asked for you. So I'm back Monday. Okay, everybody requested your presence
[00:40:48] So I guess just have fun. It's not unusual to get I don't worry. I will you don't have fun at parties Nick
[00:40:54] That's true. You don't when you talking about I walk in everybody's like
[00:41:01] Do a magic trick
[00:41:06] That's a good look me do the record I'll do be the records guy
[00:41:09] Nick's DJing yeah, that's a piano
[00:41:12] Cheek bar bro
[00:41:16] The day
[00:41:18] Nick you should because you're you can't do drugs or drink you should learn magic so that could be your party thing
[00:41:27] Just fucking pull dubs
[00:41:32] Don't look at me that way
[00:41:34] I'm just trying to help you out. It's not unusual for Adam to say something game
[00:41:44] Because he's gay because he's gay and his ideas are rough and bad
[00:41:50] It's not a bad idea the magic idea for Nick is he'll argue but you know his ideas are bad
[00:41:58] He should kill himself. All right, man
[00:42:00] I'm not having fun at parties. I guess I've had to say to Tom Jones. It's Tom Crohn's and he shits
[00:42:07] Cool
[00:42:08] Not unusual shit your fucking bad
[00:42:12] Now Welsh people are just white well Catherine Zeta Jones isn't he from Wales
[00:42:17] She is yeah, it shows Tom Jones
[00:42:20] But Catherine Zeta Jones might have a parrot. That's not or something. Yeah, I know but that's why she's like Zeta
[00:42:27] That's why I'm asking because I always thought with the Welsh were just white and then they are white
[00:42:31] Yeah, it's part of the UK. They're English. Yeah. Well, the Catherine Zeta Jones kind of threw me off
[00:42:37] Well, like how about like, uh, you know, like I don't know fucking
[00:42:41] Which is named Sean Connery is he Welsh? I think so. No, he's uh Scottish. I think he's Welsh. He's Scottish
[00:42:49] Either way fucking I was just just wondering
[00:42:52] Are you picking your nose in front everybody you eating your fucking
[00:42:56] It's an audio podcast eating your boogers. I'm not eating my book. Are you eating your boogers?
[00:43:03] I have to get enough eating your boogers on the show stops to say I'm eating my boogers
[00:43:07] Dude, why are you opening your ass and putting your whole hand in it? Okay? I am doing it all
[00:43:12] I am weird that you're doing that man. You do such weird stuff man. I don't know why you always do weird stuff like that
[00:43:23] You're handing your ass to risk deep something so weird man. That's such a funny
[00:43:31] I know why you're doing weird stuff. You're fucking weird fucked up guy man. Yeah guys weird. He's gay
[00:43:37] It's not on you
[00:43:39] Fucked by man
[00:43:41] Unusual and not know how to read
[00:43:46] Is very common in fact
[00:43:48] I used to be really into tom jones when I was in like fifth grade really yeah adam like I thought he was really cool
[00:43:54] He would take swing dancing lessons. No, I thought disco was cool too
[00:43:59] I thought disco and tom jones like I thought saturday night fever the movie was pretty cool. Please don't fuck my ass
[00:44:06] No, no, no
[00:44:08] Please don't fuck my ass
[00:44:10] No, no, no
[00:44:13] Adam are you gonna sing that uh, what's up pussy cat to the 11 year olds you mean japan
[00:44:20] What else is pussy cat? What's what's the other lyric to the pussy cat dolls remember them? It's what's what's next?
[00:44:26] My pussy hole boy would I like to fuck the pussy cat dolls anyone that's ever been a member
[00:44:31] But especially that main one that kind of looks like a knockoff catholic data jones. Yeah y'all know the one
[00:44:35] Were you were you just getting into casual data jones this week? Why do you keep bringing her up?
[00:44:40] No, I was a callback to our conversation. Oh, okay about whales. I thought you had
[00:44:48] He said oh the brain is eight on the brain. Is it is sexy as hell? Yeah
[00:44:53] That would love to smash if given the opportunity respectful. She was hot in the laser movie
[00:44:59] Mm-hmm. What is it called stop eating your boogers?
[00:45:06] You were watching you do it you stick your finger in your nose and you put it in your mouth
[00:45:10] You're pretty wristy. You're you're no joke. You are a little deep in that nose. I mean, I know that you got a lot of oh my god
[00:45:16] I mean do whatever you want, but don't eat your boogers eating my boogers dude
[00:45:23] I do on occasion do that
[00:45:25] But I'm not doing that right now. You do. I thought we're doing a bit. That's fucked up
[00:45:29] Yeah, he legitimately eats his boogers and he legitimately will have sex with 11-year-old
[00:45:35] No, that is that part isn't true, but it's not weird to eat your boogers
[00:45:40] It's so even though I'm not doing it right now. It's so fucking gross dude
[00:45:44] I was gonna that's gonna be the quote-unquote do a bit where he goes up to what are clearly Japanese pimps being like
[00:45:50] You know where I can get some tomagotchi or yeah in winking. He's like look
[00:45:54] I'm doing it's funny because it's a word
[00:45:57] That's I'm saying a thing and with laughing after I say it
[00:46:01] Makes it a joke and then one of you be like oh you want to fuck a child and I was like what?
[00:46:07] I mean
[00:46:09] I guess I'll do it if I have to it's the custom there was a guy when I was in Japan last time
[00:46:15] There was a guy who just you're walking up the shoes like hey, how are you doing?
[00:46:18] Yeah, you want titty bar the dick sock blowjob
[00:46:21] ass flock and I was French
[00:46:23] Mm-hmm. Is a French guy?
[00:46:25] You look used all day was Japanese you're the blajab
[00:46:28] blajab
[00:46:30] Titi bow you guys go get sucked off with me at a titty bar in Japan. No, we're side go get sucked off. Thanks, man
[00:46:37] Thank you. Let me be an animal do anything with his friends. No, this is your trash
[00:46:41] It's a bonding thing. Nope. This is a trap. You guys are gonna try to entrap me into having sex with a child
[00:46:48] I'm not falling speaking of entrapment
[00:46:50] Catherine's a dad's the movie. That's the movie. That's the one I was thinking you weren't thinking of anything the laser one
[00:46:57] The one we're on. Hi, right? Yeah, where you could like her ass when she's wearing that spandex thing going under the yeah
[00:47:03] Everything keep people news flash. She's 11 years old in that movie. Shut up. Dude. Dude. Really for real. Yeah. She's an 11 year old
[00:47:10] And she's when they filmed that she was probably nine
[00:47:14] And then it wasn't edited and
[00:47:16] It put into theaters until she turned 11 until she turned 11
[00:47:20] So adam just openly admitting to watch it to masturbating do an 11 year old girl getting sliced up by lasers
[00:47:26] Everyone knows that that movie hitting her clothes cut off
[00:47:32] Is adam's japan fantasy is that a robot?
[00:47:34] Lasers removes the clothes of a child
[00:47:39] Uh, fuck we're just kidding, man. Dude. We're joshing. We're just we're just pulling your leg
[00:47:44] I am going to take stop to get that blowjob. So you guys so
[00:47:48] You guys won't have the moral high ground over me. I just want to meet my neighbor toadero
[00:47:53] Yeah, what the road yo, we should go to the without no, you know, I'm saying where's my neighbor?
[00:48:00] You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I want to watch toadero neighbor toadero
[00:48:03] Do you guys want to go to them? I think there's a studio ghibli museum
[00:48:08] Now that sounds gay
[00:48:10] It's not gonna spin stop gonna spend all nine days in studio toadli museum tokyo
[00:48:18] Tokyo disney, I might they have their own disney. Do they have Japanese Mickey? Yeah
[00:48:29] He's just no
[00:48:32] That'd be hilarious. All the Disney princess just have big ass anime titties. That's my thing. I would love that
[00:48:39] I love titty fucking me too for real
[00:48:42] For unlike some of us here titty fucking rules unlike some
[00:48:47] Proods here. It's not stupid. You're just too selfish. It's boring and stupid
[00:48:52] It's it's a completely selfish move the girl doesn't it the girl doesn't enjoy it at all
[00:48:56] Maybe it's your dick sucks, but I'm telling you women my dick rocks actual nerves inside of their titties
[00:49:02] Your dick is good enough. It unlocks extra
[00:49:04] A woman's entire body is just an extension of the clitoris
[00:49:11] And you can just slap her in the face of your cock you can fuck her hair
[00:49:15] Her ear
[00:49:17] You know spitting her eyeball all of these things will make a woman come immediate paker knows the only thing you can't do is respect her
[00:49:25] They hate the heart that's connected to the woman's clitoris are her toes and her nipples
[00:49:30] I'm gonna um
[00:49:34] Yeah, my dick rocks dude stop talking shit on it
[00:49:37] They're gonna the fans are gonna believe you dude that you have a fat that my dick doesn't rock
[00:49:43] I've said I'm secure about this. Yeah, we all have fucked up dicks
[00:49:47] That's not true on record of having fucked up. Yeah, no, no, you're the only just like this exactly like being tall
[00:49:54] I mean it don't give a fuck. We have fucked up dicks right and don't care that we're not tall
[00:49:58] But you maybe have of course of course a half a little bit of a better dick than us
[00:50:02] But you care that it's fuck well. It just works. That's the difference
[00:50:07] I've you don't believe in seeing your deeply insecure when I come it's the bill and Ted guitar solo thing
[00:50:15] Yeah, it just rocks my dick rocks
[00:50:19] You're five seven
[00:50:21] I'm not five
[00:50:26] You gotta face the music
[00:50:30] Oh, it's not unusual to fuck my ass
[00:50:35] What are some other tom jones hits? I don't know man. I've been trying to think about that for last 20 minutes. Oh, I know I only know that one
[00:50:42] There's that the the
[00:50:45] Please don't
[00:50:47] Oh, there's another one. I used to have a CD. Yeah, you were just talking about how into Tom. Yeah, I used to have the CD
[00:50:53] You can't name one of the songs is lying about being in the tom
[00:50:57] Infants just no there's no reason to lie about
[00:51:01] Nobody's listening and they're like oh my god. Adam's in the tom jones
[00:51:06] I guess he isn't as big of a faggot as I thought he was
[00:51:09] It's not a cool. I thought he sucked until I found out he loved tom jones
[00:51:13] fake
[00:51:15] Stop trying to um stop trying to what are you looking up tom jones?
[00:51:19] Yeah, that's so
[00:51:22] Oh, yeah delilah, you know, that's all there delala
[00:51:25] No, no, if you like to suck my penis like this fuck my asshole
[00:51:31] My ass is way too fucked up to get fucked by your asshole. I went to fuck my ass
[00:51:39] Spread me open fill me up
[00:51:41] Because I'm gay I went to everybody with a luminee's and this is fuck my ass
[00:51:50] Fuck me delilah. Hey
[00:51:52] I like penis. No, it's not fuck me delilah
[00:52:12] Man, it now there really has to be some threshold this show crosses for it's just for us
[00:52:19] Nobody you miss
[00:52:21] Nobody can listen to it stop when you left on don't try to make this about you and the thing you said yesterday
[00:52:28] I wish I know you're trying to do it was very funny, but niggin. I were just laughing the entire audience was silent
[00:52:34] We were just on stage like yeah
[00:52:37] No, cuz I said I said I said I went to see the James Franco
[00:52:41] Adam was like who did he play lenny or carl
[00:52:45] Like do nothing. I was like this leaving now. It was a pack that one inch was a little weird
[00:52:50] It was too packed in there. Yeah, it was one day. We need a bigger venue first. So I repeated the riddle that Chloe sent me
[00:52:58] to the audience
[00:53:00] Yes, but you can't say here. I don't remember. No, I can say it's the marbles. I'm riddle. I can't say
[00:53:07] Secret riddle
[00:53:09] Yeah, okay. Yeah, you have six letters. Okay. All right
[00:53:12] Wait
[00:53:19] Yeah, now the riddle is
[00:53:21] You have like eight cute six cue balls eight cue balls. You have to figure out which one's heavier
[00:53:26] Okay, and you're only allowed to you and you got a scale. Uh-huh, but you're only allowed to use it twice
[00:53:31] Mmm one of them is heavier. I think I got it now because you heard me give the answer to somebody
[00:53:36] No, you said your answer which is a joke. No, and an outside later
[00:53:40] I didn't hear you give the outside later with yeah, you absolutely fucking do not have the answer because you came up with it yourself
[00:53:48] What's the answer?
[00:53:50] You put four and four. No, okay never mind them
[00:53:54] Before in your five in your ass and one on the here's my answer and I think it's the right answer even though I was told it was wrong
[00:54:00] You put all eight of them on one side of the scale and then you smash the other side of the scale down and which one goes up
[00:54:05] The least is the heaviest so true. I know right and that's one step
[00:54:10] That's just it's a more efficient algorithm than well. Here's the thing
[00:54:14] No, nobody's you only let you to scale twice, but you can throw them at people as much as you want
[00:54:19] Yeah, so you throw it at somebody as hard as in you know and the one that hurts the most is the heaviest. Yeah
[00:54:27] Okay, fuck me the lie
[00:54:29] I
[00:54:34] How do you do it? How do you do it?
[00:54:36] Why you want the answer? Yeah, who gives a fuck?
[00:54:39] Yeah, my answer is my answer is the right one in fact
[00:54:42] Repeat that riddle to people and tell them my answer when they can't guess it
[00:54:47] Because I want to rewrite the history of that riddle. There is actually a way to do it with math but fuck that
[00:54:54] It's like that
[00:54:56] What do you call a problem solve that is gay? I?
[00:55:00] Used my genius intellect to come up with a better answer than those fucking math weenies
[00:55:04] What is it? There's six of them? There's there's eight balls one is slightly heavier
[00:55:09] You have a scale and it's like a scale of justice. It's not like a like a
[00:55:14] Scale you weigh yourself in the bathroom scale of justice guys. Yeah. Yeah. It's like what the scale like second either or scale. Yeah, I got you
[00:55:22] I'm
[00:55:24] I don't care actually. Yeah
[00:55:26] Stupid, when will I ever need to do that? Yeah, never never that's the kind of thing Ian would have to do
[00:55:35] His famous pool outings
[00:55:37] That's my favorite thing about Ian. He's like let's go shoot pool man
[00:55:41] And he sits at home watching pool videos all day and then you go and you just beat him every time
[00:55:47] Oh, I got it. I got it. What you do two and two
[00:55:50] Right
[00:55:52] Okay, if they're equal
[00:55:55] Then you do two and two of the other ones
[00:55:58] If they're not equal
[00:56:00] Then you you know the heavier side
[00:56:03] You take off the two other ones from the lighter one and then from the heavier side
[00:56:08] You weigh the two that were on that side. That's three or four steps. No, that was two steps
[00:56:13] So you do two and two so you do two and two and if one's heavier you leave four on
[00:56:17] I'll just check at those phone. It says
[00:56:19] Answer to the ball with scale riddle. I tell you this isn't the answer
[00:56:24] So you do two and two and then what two and two and if one side is heavier
[00:56:30] Then you throw off the lighter side and then you compare those two balls
[00:56:33] And if they're even then what if they're both even then you know none of them are right
[00:56:38] So you know that the heavier one is on the in the four remaining ones. Oh, well, it only works
[00:56:43] If you randomly choose the heavy one, so you don't have the so it does it more. I mean it kind of
[00:56:49] No, it does the answer is no it could work. I
[00:56:52] They could work in two steps. Yeah, right. Yeah, but a lot of them could theoretically work in two steps
[00:56:58] You just pick two of them and random and if one of them is heavier than that's the heavier one. That's one step
[00:57:03] That's one step. Good job. That's not the answer. No because you have to use all the balls
[00:57:09] Look, the answer can't be you guess which one is the heavier
[00:57:12] You fucking moron
[00:57:14] It's not how we're gonna need the scale
[00:57:17] That is good. That is more my answer is the only one that does it in one step. No, that is a sense
[00:57:21] Just guess the right one the first time. Thank you. Yep. Thanks. Stop. No, what is the right? Listen man game. Listen
[00:57:28] Credit where credit is due Nick that makes sense to me credit is not due
[00:57:34] Adams like you put all the balls in your ass and you don't pay for it
[00:57:38] Then you walk out and then you put the scale in your ass
[00:57:41] Leave the bill your tall and you're like, uh, I think we're gonna eat somewhere else. No, like what?
[00:57:47] Yeah, we looked at the menu and they're like what menu would you
[00:57:50] Nick, I believe credit is due
[00:57:53] Credit is due credit where credit is due. Thank you stop. No no problems. Nick owes me credit
[00:57:58] I don't know you anything you I you I'm but also get your phone credit
[00:58:02] Usually out of here bad news Adam credit is also due from your mouth to my dick also
[00:58:08] Why how does that?
[00:58:10] Correspondent you have to pay tribute. That doesn't create a car
[00:58:13] No, no, you have to be this you just admitted the credit where credit is dude
[00:58:17] No, just add me credit blowing like six guys and thinking that it was a gomafia thing
[00:58:23] That he was being initiated. They said I had to respect them
[00:58:27] Show respect to the boss this thing of ours Adam. You're picking your nose and eating it again
[00:58:32] I'm not eating it dude
[00:58:34] You're putting your fucking fit you're picking your nose and putting your fingers in your mouth immediately after
[00:58:41] Listen the thing is credit. We're credit wasn't it wasn't boogers
[00:58:46] Do you want to suck me off or not what?
[00:58:49] For credit that's not what credit is you dude me credit and I accepted your credit
[00:58:56] I'm not gonna suck your dick fucking loser dude for credit. I'm not gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. Fuck with the game way
[00:59:00] You're fucking too ugly. I'm not too ugly to suck you
[00:59:04] You would get your dick sucked by someone way ugly no chance. Absolutely your ugly is fuck
[00:59:10] All right, the answer is you put three and three you only weigh six of them
[00:59:15] Uh-huh, it's three and three if they're even then you know that the heavier ones in the remaining two you okay?
[00:59:20] So I was close. No, you're not close. I was close. I have the answer
[00:59:23] Okay, you always you can't say close because you what if they're not even they're not even then you take the side
[00:59:29] That's heavier, which is only three balls. You have it down to three
[00:59:32] Uh-huh and you remove one way the other two if those two are even then you know
[00:59:36] It's just the other one and if they're not even then you know the heavier one okay?
[00:59:41] I was on the way to getting it. I was I was on the way to get here
[00:59:44] Does anyone care about who gives a shit, but it's a riddle. No one cares about anything
[00:59:48] I mean I can't believe the hubris of you to say like oh, I would have gotten it like
[00:59:52] Don't you bray me don't humerous me just say I didn't know the answer. I was on the way. Oh, I
[00:59:59] I was on the way to get a thing. I didn't do
[01:00:01] Credit rescinded man. Yeah, why are you sending my credit because you were it's not doing anymore
[01:00:06] I'm the only one who else don't your dick sucking my dick credit stop. Stop as the old advice I did
[01:00:11] Which is crazy shit. I have the second right answer, which is break the system and do it in one move
[01:00:17] To get it in the real world, which would work by the way
[01:00:20] Mm-hmm, which would absolutely no that wouldn't work
[01:00:22] It would absolutely work because if you think about how a scale works it would have a chain above it
[01:00:28] That which would fuck up all the balls flying you wouldn't get a clear. I would love to have a chain above your mouth
[01:00:33] So I could just pull it shut
[01:00:35] That's a little thing. It wouldn't be an efficient way of making my mouth shut. It would actually kind of yeah
[01:00:39] Yeah, it would just kind of open my mouth. I would love to have a chain attaching my two nipples together. That's good
[01:00:44] Yeah, and then it also goes to my balls
[01:00:52] That would be awesome
[01:00:54] Yeah, did you get a drug gay hand kill with one of those? Yeah. Yeah across his nipples got messed on
[01:00:59] Also gay sex
[01:01:03] All right, that's our next project. Yeah
[01:01:06] We should do a whole gay hand kill mini series. I wanted to do
[01:01:10] Joe shirts, but I don't know if that would be me. Yeah, probably not
[01:01:14] That's probably too. Yeah, it's also his face
[01:01:18] We could do gay. It's weird that people sell shirts with our faces on bro when I was in this guy had a shirt
[01:01:23] That just said dasha on it. I have that shirt. You haven't yeah, I mean, you know, it's weird, but it is weird
[01:01:30] Yeah, I fucking that shirt
[01:01:32] You fuck in it. Yeah, yeah, you wear it
[01:01:35] We're a dasha shirt and I fuck
[01:01:38] People
[01:01:40] Yeah people not anyone he knows
[01:01:42] Yeah, yeah, it's certainly guys. You know, I mean
[01:01:47] But like I see he'll just be barking otherwise
[01:01:51] I'm fucking not wearing a shirt because she can read
[01:01:55] What do you mean the dog knows how to read how would this even work? I don't know
[01:02:00] You would be wearing a shirt with dasha on it having sex with my girlfriend. Oh, yeah, my dog dasha
[01:02:06] Not anybody else. Yeah
[01:02:08] Having sex with my dog or having sex with me. You'd be tricking me. You'd be tricking me
[01:02:14] Yeah, yeah, and I think it was my girlfriend all those times where you were just oh my god
[01:02:19] When dasha was like just read my shirt
[01:02:22] Yeah, don't look at my face read my shirt
[01:02:24] Just read the end of the movie when adam has all these flashbacks and realizes there is no dasha
[01:02:30] I've just been raping him for months
[01:02:33] Just for the teacher where he's like time it was a t-shirt with a girl
[01:02:36] Sneaking with plain hell vetica fonts on it. Just a girl's name
[01:02:44] Tricked me
[01:02:48] Fuck all right. Well, uh, oh
[01:02:51] I guess we could do a little longer. We're yet a one-oh-something one-oh-something
[01:02:56] All right, it's been a fun one, you know
[01:02:58] Um feel like the beast has been ramped up a little bit, but you know, you know, it's the crowd might like it
[01:03:03] Look dude if you would just credit me where credit was due
[01:03:07] I we could have waited all these credits
[01:03:10] But you didn't want to credit me a stuffed like animal of the uh of the bad guy from crash bandic
[01:03:15] From crash bandic he's got an and on his head and I'm sure I said something about that
[01:03:20] No, I actually said that on the podcast then you take it
[01:03:24] You can have that somebody wanted you to have that don't want you to have it. What did you say?
[01:03:28] I was like we were talking about crash bandicoot. I was like, yeah, the bad guy was this guy with a giant head
[01:03:34] That had an end on it and then I realized as I said it that
[01:03:39] That's really weird. We're going to fucking Japan in Australia soon
[01:03:43] Real soon
[01:03:45] Damn, fuck. Are we gonna be I guess we're gonna be doing Epps on the road. Yeah, we have to from uh
[01:03:50] Shinjuku. We're gonna be doing our japanthony kumi a character
[01:03:59] They are savages
[01:04:01] The election did not deserve a respect that who
[01:04:06] Uh looks like Adam's leaving the show again, right? Well guys
[01:04:10] Please come see us in Australia if you are there we're gonna be in sittany on the 23rd
[01:04:15] Malburn on the 26 brieze give me brain on the 28th
[01:04:19] Uh, we also have funny moms before we leave our farewell show will be monday the 8th
[01:04:26] Uh, so please come out to that and we are going to be in the south
[01:04:31] Uh, some people have dm'd asking about those
[01:04:34] Uh, we don't know the dates, but they are happening
[01:04:38] Are we if you've bought tickets? They are. I gotta look through my have people bought tickets. Yeah, they're already for sale and shit
[01:04:44] Um, we check the zany's website. Yeah, I know we're in Nashville. I think we're in charlotte
[01:04:49] I think we're in atlanta
[01:04:50] Look man. What do you expect from us to know where the fuck we're gonna be?
[01:04:54] um
[01:04:55] so anyway
[01:04:57] And then
[01:04:58] I am trying to book some more stuff. Thank you everyone who's come to see us on the road
[01:05:02] Um, um, we'll try and get more stuff going soon
[01:05:06] And hopefully get the boys out to some of the place i've already been just really get you to see all your come boys
[01:05:11] CS do stand. Well, here we go
[01:05:13] You got it. November 11th, Nashville, November 12th, Huntsville, November 13th, in
[01:05:17] Atlanta, where's that number 14 Charlotte? Oh, it's every day. Yeah, damn. That's pretty
[01:05:24] 2014
[01:05:26] Huntsville, Alabama
[01:05:28] Hold on
[01:05:29] Mississippi shut the fuck up. Why are you yelling?
[01:05:34] Because he's got anger problem November 14 is anger problems
[01:05:38] All right, do you know what didn't either don't worry about what the fucking day charlotte will be read them off this fucking
[01:05:42] dang your woo-woo, which Huntsville read them they go ahead
[01:05:48] Atlanta and charlotte flipped
[01:05:52] So, okay, those are the dates. We're gonna be there back to back. Damn. We're gonna have time to get BBQ
[01:05:58] What do you mean? Oh that well, I thought Nashville is chicken
[01:06:02] Hot by knee chicken hot chicken. Damn. That's a grind bro
[01:06:07] But fuck it it hurts you right, huh?
[01:06:09] No, I just mean we're gonna be on the road every day, but you know what that's the boys, dude
[01:06:14] We're gonna be together. Are we doing live podger stand up? We sold tickets for those like the other shows?
[01:06:20] Probably not man. Who cares if you're in those cities just buy tickets to them, please
[01:06:25] Yeah, and suck our income suck our
[01:06:27] Look, it's November. Like if you live in Huntsville, Charlotte, Atlanta or the other fucking place
[01:06:33] Look on the website. That's for the way of the city. Yeah, go to the city dot com
[01:06:37] Mashville.com slash com. Yeah, like where and you should be able to find our shit
[01:06:44] Look at him. I don't know man. You're asking a lot of questions
[01:06:46] Yeah, you gotta stop with the fucking question
[01:06:49] I how about you just go back to picking your nose and eating it. I'm not doing that
[01:06:56] Look man, it's the end of the workday. We all put in a solid hour today
[01:07:00] One in the afternoon. I'm trying to ask you all these questions. I gotta look up the wiki how on making rice again
[01:07:06] I don't have time for this shit. I have one dip shit. I have to think about where I'm gonna buy a
[01:07:12] Don't cost me though. Don't suggest me
[01:07:16] Don't fucking say suggestions. I mean, maybe I won't cost you you fucking bitch
[01:07:20] Damn, he did get you there at him. Why are you so mad at me?
[01:07:24] I'm not mad. This is you know because the therapist said I should start practicing
[01:07:28] That's not true. No chance
[01:07:30] I didn't say that. I didn't say that. I didn't say that. You know what you need to be doing more of?
[01:07:37] They legitimately both did say that both yeah
[01:07:40] They're like what if you just got mad at people instead of not getting mad at them and I was like well
[01:07:45] I would be mad a lot and they're like so what interesting yeah
[01:07:50] They said yeah, you should just let fly off the handle push people away. That's who you are. Fuck it
[01:07:55] That's what your therapist said both of them. Yeah
[01:07:57] Are you still going therapy? No, I just use two guys. I mean yeah, he's not really good
[01:08:02] Well, you know I hang out with him
[01:08:08] Add and Rick
[01:08:10] Know from the American Legion. Yeah, yeah, they kind of give me advice. That's cool. Yeah
[01:08:15] But they're like yeah, tell us tell them to fuck off. Yeah. Yeah, let queers know how you feel about them. Yeah
[01:08:21] Don't hide it. No, I do it does feel good to yell at people
[01:08:24] Yeah, you know, yeah, I do yeah, that's my I honestly do have the problem of not being angry. I've just been like just
[01:08:31] Chill out and then I get too angry. Yeah, but no I say I mean I do I do too
[01:08:36] I'd like just don't get angry, but yeah blowing up at people if somebody like does something wrong and call him a fucking idiot
[01:08:41] It feels great. It feels great. It does
[01:08:44] I'm sorry man. Go back to yelling it out of my apologies for telling you it's not Adam
[01:08:47] But I mean I well I wouldn't do it to Adam if I just did it more to like
[01:08:50] Service industry people
[01:08:54] And you know like people that are beneath yeah, no really I mean that's
[01:08:58] Cab drivers. Yeah, you got real mad at the cab driver on the way to the airport the other day
[01:09:03] I didn't get real mad at him. He was like he goes. This is not your house and I'm like, excuse me
[01:09:09] He's like don't put your feet in you know you say because this is not your house
[01:09:12] I'm like excuse me and then Adam is like
[01:09:14] Like how do I always think we said it?
[01:09:16] He didn't make any fucking sense and he was like don't put your foot on the seat my foot wasn't anywhere near the fucking seat
[01:09:22] And I was like he had already fucked up and added like 20 minutes of the trip literally driving in circles around Brooklyn
[01:09:28] I was like maybe you shouldn't figure out where the fuck you're going and not like give me etiquette lessons
[01:09:33] I don't know who the fuck you are but so yeah, I guess I did get pretty mad
[01:09:36] Yeah, I was like, oh, that was okay. That's okay. That's okay. That's okay. All right. Well guys
[01:09:42] He deserved it now. I'm mad about that fucking cock. Sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up. That's fine. They've been fucking up
[01:09:47] All right. Thanks for listening guys. I do see a ticket link for Nashville. We'll try to get the rest of them up
[01:09:52] Yeah, we'll get them up soon. All right. Bye. Bye. Bye