Cum Town | Premium | 11/28/2016
[00:00:00] Well, we did it. We got the $5,000. Yeah.
[00:00:04] Adam now has to leave the podcast. I will be leaving.
[00:00:08] He will be leaving. Unfortunately, Stav ate too much
[00:00:11] Aunty Anz on the way home. He hit a little double
[00:00:15] with the Aunty Anz and Senate bond. He drove back from
[00:00:19] Maryland today and somehow didn't get back until like
[00:00:28] Just, you know, money I want. Subscribers.
[00:00:31] Oh, no shit. Yeah, we're famous. I don't know for you.
[00:00:34] They were doing all right. So Kurt's here. Kurt came.
[00:00:39] Every new listen to this is, you know, it's the same.
[00:00:42] It's the same people listen to all podcasts.
[00:00:44] Yeah, I didn't realize there was this. Every time I say something to me,
[00:00:48] it also listens to every podcast. Yeah, yeah.
[00:00:50] And I listen to no podcasts. I don't listen to any of these.
[00:00:53] They all sit on Reddit. They listen to podcasts.
[00:00:56] Kurt here instead of Stav, Kurt's been a highly requested
[00:01:00] guest on the podcast. Yeah, we're very thankful.
[00:01:05] I mean, yeah, thanks for coming to your thing.
[00:01:07] You got $5,000 worth of subscribers. Yeah.
[00:01:10] Yeah. Well, there's more people stealing, which is even more punk rock.
[00:01:14] Are they still stealing? Oh, they're still stealing.
[00:01:18] You changed the, it's RSS. Yeah, but they're sharing the RSS.
[00:01:23] Is it, well, how'd your subscription work? It's Putin.
[00:01:26] It's, we do the same shit. It's Patreon. It's Putin.
[00:01:28] Oh, Patreon? Yeah, yeah. So is it subscription just to listen to it at all?
[00:01:31] No. Oh, so you're free and then I have to put up the free one paid,
[00:01:34] the same format. And then what you guys are doing now?
[00:01:37] Well, what do you mean one free and one paid?
[00:01:39] Do two a week. Yeah. So if you pay five bucks a month,
[00:01:42] you get an extra episode of the week. I think we're doing like a monthly bonus.
[00:01:45] I don't really know how to do it, but that's the way to do it.
[00:01:47] Yeah. I don't know what you should be doing. Well, we stole the model from my roommate.
[00:01:50] My roommate told you know how much guess how much my roommate's podcast makes.
[00:01:53] What? Just guess. I don't know. Just guess. I'm not.
[00:01:56] Just tell me. No, just guess. A billion dollars. Yes.
[00:02:00] Okay. What about quarter million a year? Yeah.
[00:02:04] From a pod saying from a podcast. What is this podcast called?
[00:02:08] Chappo Trap House. What could be that interesting that it makes a quarter million a year?
[00:02:12] It's like they talk shit about their like a, it's a politics pod.
[00:02:16] They just got wrote up in the New Yorker. Yeah.
[00:02:20] Throughout the election. I guess it's a left, left dis perspective.
[00:02:24] They're funny. They're not comics, but they're all three independently funny dudes.
[00:02:28] Yeah. I think that just a bunch of Jurno guys are like afraid of getting bullied by guys with beer.
[00:02:35] It's on a podcast. They all subscribe to Chappo. Yeah.
[00:02:39] It's, you know, it's very similar to Red Eye. It's basically the same, the premier political comedy
[00:02:45] outlet is Fox's Red Eye. Yeah. It's pretty much the same thing.
[00:02:50] With Tom Shaloo and some girl that, you know, won a beauty pageant seven years ago.
[00:02:56] She's somehow, somehow fell from, instead of going from actress to woman that just gets, you know,
[00:03:06] I used to play the liberal panel on Gutfeld. Oh, yeah.
[00:03:10] It was like a wall that would say the liberal view. Yeah.
[00:03:13] I was thinking about doing Gutfeld or Kennedy. I asked him about it.
[00:03:16] She was like, maybe I'll recommend you for it, but she was like, I would suggest that you actually watch the show beforehand.
[00:03:22] And I guess she could tell that I've never seen.
[00:03:25] Look, I think you're spot or something? I don't know.
[00:03:27] No, she's like, I don't think you know what those shows are.
[00:03:29] I was like, you're right. I don't think they know what the show is.
[00:03:33] Considering how fast and loose they play at a Red Eye, I figured might as well.
[00:03:37] Wall Fox shows don't have, they don't want to pay union writers to do the show.
[00:03:43] Well, I don't even know who writes the Red Eye. I know it's Kissle and Tim Diamond.
[00:03:48] But it was funny. Like, Tim came up to me the first time I did Red Eye and he was like,
[00:03:52] oh, hey, man, I'm one of the writers on the show.
[00:03:55] And I was like, the, right, right for what? Yeah, what are you writing?
[00:04:01] I don't understand. I guess, what Andy's rebuttals.
[00:04:06] I see. I thought he just came up with that shit and he had fake papers because it sounded
[00:04:13] The show's too long. I'll put it that way.
[00:04:18] It's nightly. It's still too a day now.
[00:04:20] That's crazy. Yeah. That's so much work.
[00:04:22] It's a Tyler Perry model they're doing.
[00:04:24] Right. Well, considering how often they have like me and Tim Dillon and Scott Chaplin on,
[00:04:30] I feel bad for the news people that come on because they'll have like, you know,
[00:04:34] people that have legitimate careers in journalism and then like a comic that has zero TV credits.
[00:04:40] Literally, I just tweeted at the show and I was like, put me on the show.
[00:04:45] And then Rich Lowery's wearing like a fucking suit.
[00:04:51] Well, yeah. You said you're on with the ambassador, John Bolton.
[00:04:55] That's pretty. I mean, you've got credits at least.
[00:04:58] That's why I mean, credit I use everywhere.
[00:05:02] Ambassador John Bolton. Oh, Ambassador Bolton? Yes.
[00:05:06] Red Eye is such a shit credit too. It's not like, you know, something you can even use for shows.
[00:05:11] It's like in DC when comics will be like, oh, yeah, say I was on a Comcast.
[00:05:18] They think there's local Comcast like open my show.
[00:05:22] I guess it matters. It fucking, you know,
[00:05:25] He really want me to say and it's just fucking.
[00:05:29] I did bring a bluey and he, like, what do you want me to say?
[00:05:32] He's like, nothing to say, Louis CK and who dropped them.
[00:05:39] Because as I host, you don't want to, like, I gotta say something, man.
[00:05:42] You don't really get why he didn't want me to say anything.
[00:05:43] Well, the conceit of credits is that the audience doesn't have any faith that the show is going
[00:05:48] to be a good show and to hear what you've been on or like how you've been vetted, but like.
[00:05:52] And they don't care what the fucking credit is.
[00:05:55] There's nobody on the audience listening.
[00:05:58] does it make me uncomfortable for I get on?
[00:06:01] He's been on a sitcom on CISO that I've never heard of.
[00:06:05] On Friday night, I was at a show and the host asked and I said, no, I have nothing.
[00:06:12] And then the dude who booked it was like, no, say, come town.
[00:06:30] He's like everyone, please put your hands together for Aaron Friedman from the come on
[00:06:35] I've only butchered one intro in my entire life.
[00:06:38] Like having to bring people up and it was Cameron Esposito and it was before I knew who she was.
[00:06:48] I said like Carmen Esperanto or something.
[00:06:56] Give it up for Carmen San Diego everybody.
[00:07:14] Think periods aren't a thing to bring up at Pike.
[00:07:19] That fake thing of all men have demanded that you can never do.
[00:07:26] Here's one that goes on comfortably long.
[00:07:30] That's the only benefit to the Trump presidency.
[00:07:33] If the executions start, I'm going to enjoy like the first 45 executions.
[00:07:38] What do you think his Trevor Noah's getting shot?
[00:07:43] He's going to seat him behind the desk on the national mall.
[00:07:48] I think that was coming from just like he's Brown has an accent.
[00:07:56] I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I bother people to have an on America.
[00:07:58] No, I just, Trevor Noah would have killed it if it was a show on MTV and it wasn't the
[00:08:03] He's just not the right voice for that show.
[00:08:10] And there's no way Comedy Central is going to be like okay.
[00:08:13] I've seen this as amazing as I've heard.
[00:08:18] I've had this post-election a lot of this stuff I've seen that's been kind of just horseshit.
[00:08:24] You know, like don't, you know, like don't riot.
[00:08:27] It's important not to fucking riot or whatever.
[00:08:35] She was like you're making all, you're ruining the credibility for the rest of us.
[00:08:40] Well, here's what, it's not that, here's what it does.
[00:08:43] It's basically all Trump has to do is not explode the country and he will have a, he'll
[00:08:50] He can do whatever he wants and be great.
[00:08:52] If there's just the fucking hysteria before anything's happened, if it's not even a tenth
[00:09:01] Because Obama's officially a great president now.
[00:09:03] Historically, Obama's going to get down as one of the good ones.
[00:09:07] He'll be like Clinton went down as like good because of George W.
[00:09:12] And Clinton, you know, the reason Hillary wins because a lot of people doesn't want that
[00:09:15] shit show back in fucking office of the Clintons.
[00:09:18] All that shit they're supposedly protesting.
[00:09:20] I don't know if you saw it, but Jill Stein got to $7 billion.
[00:09:25] The popular vote, the $17 billion thing is so fucking what a punk ass.
[00:09:31] First of all, if Hillary won the electoral college and not the popular, it wouldn't come
[00:09:38] Number two, shut the fuck up the popular vote in New York and LA.
[00:09:41] So what that's why they have an electoral college.
[00:09:47] So that the Hollywood types can't control the whole election.
[00:09:51] Electoral college where it's not everything is like winner take all.
[00:09:55] Because if they did it where the electoral votes per state, if based on you get some
[00:09:59] and they get some, you'd see a little more movement and less of this like, that's what
[00:10:03] I think I would go county by county rather than state by state.
[00:10:08] Let's say there's three electoral votes in the state.
[00:10:10] You get all of them based on if you win.
[00:10:13] If they if they distribute it based off the votes in that state where it's like somebody
[00:10:17] gets two and somebody gets one or you know what I mean?
[00:10:20] That seems like it would be a more fair electoral college.
[00:10:23] All right guys, I don't know anything more about it after all.
[00:10:28] But why why like why shouldn't majority rule in democracy?
[00:10:35] Like why should you mean, oh, you know, the thing of it being 800,000 people.
[00:10:38] I'm just saying like, why shouldn't the prison of the most?
[00:10:40] That was the whole reason they were afraid of being a country was certain states didn't
[00:10:44] Well, it was like, yeah, but it was super tech.
[00:10:47] It was also America prior to the Civil War.
[00:10:50] Like it's two completely different countries.
[00:10:53] You really can't compare the two governments.
[00:10:54] That's why we don't have a foreign popular vote because that way the two states aren't
[00:10:59] in a constitution is like, you know, the idea of how the electoral college is set up.
[00:11:04] But if, you know, I mean, through a current lens, it really doesn't make sense to use
[00:11:16] The states rights guy, you think, but I don't want everybody else to be irrelevant except
[00:11:23] I mean, what if, okay, let's say what if the population of Montana was five or five people
[00:11:29] I think as a state, each state should get to have a fucking say for sure because they
[00:11:33] all have their own individual needs and wants and shit.
[00:11:37] I mean, there's no way you can fucking put it all on the other.
[00:11:41] But that's what that's what that's what Congress is for.
[00:11:44] But also what do states matter really at the end of the day?
[00:11:49] Listen, I have no problem with how they set it up in the beginning.
[00:11:52] I mean, just the bottom line is Hillary's whole appeal.
[00:11:54] Was she, yeah, she's not perfect, but she played, she's like qualified because she knows
[00:12:00] And the games like to a college and she sucks so bad that she couldn't be true.
[00:12:04] Well, they were playing some like dumb, like, one of the reasons they didn't campaign in
[00:12:10] Wisconsin was because they knew they weren't doing well there.
[00:12:16] They were fucking bluffing and they didn't want Trump.
[00:12:22] So, but this is what I want to talk to you about.
[00:12:26] People get a hoppy breath when you say a Bernie would have won and be a lot of this was
[00:12:34] So first of all, Bernie would have absolutely won it.
[00:12:37] It's important to say Bernie would have won every single day.
[00:12:39] I got, I'm banned from Facebook right now.
[00:12:43] There was an article about like, you know, about how saying Bernie would have won is victim
[00:12:47] blaming and we don't need to hear from white men right now.
[00:12:54] So it's victim blaming to say Bernie would have won.
[00:12:57] But I, so I posted some article and then you know how like, like the whole like kill
[00:13:02] all men thing that female comics do on Facebook.
[00:13:09] And I shared, you know, that article and they banned me for a month from Facebook.
[00:13:14] Well, I mean, that's how privilege works, my friends.
[00:13:20] And yeah, well that bullshit is why I'm posting.
[00:13:23] I'm going to periscope from a target bathroom.
[00:13:27] If you don't see that it's such a clear fuck you to that shit.
[00:13:30] I mean, I couldn't see a clear message than a guy who never chooses.
[00:13:38] Because I got as many votes as Mitt Romney.
[00:13:40] He didn't come in on like a popular wave.
[00:13:43] He came in on people just being disillusioned.
[00:13:47] Where does that have to do with anything?
[00:13:49] Yeah, of course people being disillusioned.
[00:13:52] No, it was just like she couldn't get the vote out.
[00:13:53] It wasn't that he like inspired this massive cultural movement.
[00:13:57] People wanted to go for cruise because, and this is why when I originally when I thought
[00:14:00] he was less bad than Cruz, okay, in the beginning.
[00:14:06] Like I like the he fucking just talks and doesn't.
[00:14:09] Because the way they've twisted shit now is regular people have to be politicians and
[00:14:16] Well, comics like him because he's got like that, that dice blood in him.
[00:14:21] It's like, it's kind of like your vote for dice.
[00:14:22] I thought he was less bad than Cruz because of that.
[00:14:25] And then part way three when I started reading all this alt-right shit, I was like, okay,
[00:14:27] this is why that's really bad because they're not.
[00:14:32] I like the all right stuff because it makes me POC now.
[00:14:38] I've had to be white my whole life and now I'm POC.
[00:14:41] Well, that's to that identity politics bullshit to fucking of course that's going to happen
[00:14:49] This is because they try to put Marxism into everywhere but where it should be, which
[00:14:55] They try to make it into every other thing.
[00:14:57] They go like, well, we'll never get healthcare.
[00:14:58] So let's just try to call me up every other interaction.
[00:15:01] So that new racism bullshit of where everyone it's your identity.
[00:15:05] And we want no, don't look at me as me.
[00:15:12] That's what your identity explicitly is.
[00:15:14] No, I don't think in their own words of the of the of Derek Bell and the people.
[00:15:18] It's a Marxist framework, which is why it's so collective.
[00:15:21] So that's why you can't I mean, I had people arguing with me of like, tell me I was appropriating
[00:15:27] I can't remember who is accused some some feminist that messaged me when that whole shit happened
[00:15:31] And I was like, yeah, well, you know, I don't I don't know all your terms.
[00:15:36] I mean, I'm like, I'm my, my mean well with whatever I'm saying.
[00:15:39] It's like typical white male tensions matter more than work.
[00:15:45] And everything was, Oh, typical white man like, no, no, I'm not typical bitch.
[00:15:49] Cause I'll tell you why you and your friends had felt you had to destroy me.
[00:15:57] Why do you think that I'm going to be part of this shit where I get lumped in a group?
[00:16:00] Cause you want to do your little group.
[00:16:04] And the funniest thing I saw during the election, there was like a comic somebody shared and
[00:16:07] it's a picture of like, you know, like it's shittily drawn, which makes it even better.
[00:16:11] It's like an MS pain comic and it's a guy.
[00:16:12] And he's got like a, like a sort of like an Isis beard almost.
[00:16:16] And like a shirt that says, this is what a feminist look like, you know, piercings.
[00:16:20] And it's like, it's not my job to educate you.
[00:16:23] It's like you're asking questions, which is what white men do.
[00:16:26] You know, it's like, I'm not a nacking the emotional labor.
[00:16:29] And then on the other side of the comic, there's a guy with like a shittily drawn swastika
[00:16:37] I'd love to talk to you about white men.
[00:16:40] And so any questions you want, let me show you all this data on haplogerbs, you know,
[00:16:50] I used to compare them to a religion to fucking just be, but the difference is religion likes
[00:16:56] Oh, no, I feel like the alt right people are like a religion.
[00:17:00] They like to tell you they're believe they're more than more religions.
[00:17:02] They're like lefties are worse because they're fucking it's like a religion, but you're
[00:17:06] supposed to have already known their teachings and been a member or else go kill yourself.
[00:17:13] That's first of all, they're like, these are the new rules.
[00:17:14] Here's all these made up bullshit things I made.
[00:17:16] You're supposed to have already known them.
[00:17:21] And they may be should have waited till 2040 when they were all spike in the football about
[00:17:24] that, you know, what's going to be not what your heart becomes.
[00:17:32] But that that it's like all the judgment and bullshit of a church, but none of the forgiveness
[00:17:40] Like these should find Jesus because that's really what these are people I hate themselves
[00:17:51] This is a plan because I really read critical race theory like all their, their college
[00:17:56] I try it because no people just, well, racist institution, racism institutional, some individual.
[00:18:01] And I'm like, okay, what are you basing that on?
[00:18:05] Like, what's the evidence of that that I have to believe this other than you like it better.
[00:18:10] And I'm just trying to find an answer to that.
[00:18:13] And then I read these papers, the only, the only, this is it in a nutshell.
[00:18:16] It's just they could consider it a useful tool for anti-racism movement.
[00:18:21] It's like basically to, it's like we're just going to shame white people into not being
[00:18:27] And it's such, such not understanding how that works.
[00:18:29] Well, that, that probably does work on a personal level.
[00:18:33] It doesn't work as far as elections go.
[00:18:35] Works on liberals who have that S&M thing of like, yes, I'm white hit me.
[00:18:39] Doesn't work on these people who already hate themselves and they feel less than already.
[00:18:43] And for you to talk to them, talk down to them, they're racist out of self hatred.
[00:18:49] All you're doing is making them proud of their fucking shit.
[00:18:54] But you actually do have to try to reason with people and talk to them.
[00:18:56] I love calling conservative stupid, but I don't try to suppress them from talking.
[00:19:01] And all that bull, and that's the whole TV and all that like, that one eyebrow raised,
[00:19:05] little condescending shitty liberal nerd thing.
[00:19:10] And that's why they wanted this guy who's going to hang on under with.
[00:19:12] But don't you think that it was like more about like, she was like some, some girl that
[00:19:16] did all her homework and like asked if there was like, this was going to be on the test
[00:19:21] Well, that's certainly that personality.
[00:19:24] But there's also the fact that she sucks for real on every level.
[00:19:33] No one likes like the fucking try hard, like especially women.
[00:19:38] Number one, except in New York, they like their center because if you, if you love her,
[00:19:43] it's because you love that a certain type of person hates her the end.
[00:19:53] You could say the same exact thing about Trump is that people like him because that's
[00:19:59] And there, you know, there's all this like analysis about, you know, whether it was
[00:20:05] And a lot of people say, no, wasn't that is it because there was too much emphasis on
[00:20:10] Well, definitely some of that for sure.
[00:20:14] But when you talk to the average Trump voter, because I have family devoted for Trump, the
[00:20:17] family that ratted me out to the FBI, by the way, and they just go, I just like him.
[00:20:24] They just say, I just think he's great.
[00:20:25] And they don't put any more thought into it than that.
[00:20:28] Well, they are, but they don't want to tell you.
[00:20:30] They don't, first of all, Republicans hate politics.
[00:20:33] The other reason thing of I'm with her.
[00:20:36] We're so stupid because that's not how these people want their fucking government to be.
[00:20:42] Trump, when he would give a speech, he's like, he made fun of that.
[00:20:47] Trump's a blank for them to project all their bullshit onto.
[00:20:50] And Hillary, but like, and that's how lefties always want like elite, they always want like
[00:20:56] As always, I don't know why the yinny is like, they want cops to be their employee, like
[00:21:00] shut up cops, you're my employee, and they want government to be like their, oh, bomb,
[00:21:06] And then Republicans, the opposite, they treat cops like their fucking got unco, you're
[00:21:13] Politicians are beneath them and are an employee.
[00:21:14] That's why they'd want a guy like Trump over someone like Hillary.
[00:21:17] They don't like that shit with, because they're definitely afraid of any kind of, you know,
[00:21:22] this is how it's going to be government where they don't get to say that, terrify that.
[00:21:26] And Hillary just oozed that and these fucking liberals seem to, I mean, I remember when
[00:21:31] I went to go see Borat in the theater a long time ago in Brooklyn.
[00:21:34] Great movie, by the way, shout out Borat.
[00:21:38] You look like Adam had a shirt that said John Stewart is God on it.
[00:21:48] And it's just like, oh, that whole, just that whole fucking man, that just repulses them
[00:21:54] to no end every time in the country and every other, you know, whoever voted for Trump
[00:21:59] Plus the hypocrisy of, it's not just Hillary, first of all, it's, she was so qualified.
[00:22:05] Well, that's, you know what I'm not prepared for is the fucking hubris of comedy at large,
[00:22:10] where they think that like, well, Trump got elected.
[00:22:12] Now it's, it's time, now it's time for the comedians to fix this.
[00:22:23] The worst part of the Bush years, like 2006, 2007 during the insurgency, John Stewart was
[00:22:34] I mean that, I mean that, I mean that, you know, just as a piece of comedy programming,
[00:22:43] And I don't think anything's going to come close to that.
[00:22:44] Well, the correspondence were better too then.
[00:22:51] And there's no way to get back to that.
[00:22:55] Of course, it was a fucking masterpiece.
[00:22:57] It was like, you know, and it, and it's, we have these like great things that happen in
[00:23:01] It'd be like if Mozart died and they're like, we got a black guy to replace him.
[00:23:06] And it was like, well, that's just fucking affirmative action, higher shit.
[00:23:13] All these people are old enough to remember what the fuck claimed it.
[00:23:17] Like Trump, I heard people saying Trump's a rapist.
[00:23:20] The way they would hysterically talk about Trump, the actual shit he said is bad enough
[00:23:27] His whole thing about Mexicans are rapists.
[00:23:29] He was talking about illegals, whether he worded it right or not.
[00:23:32] That's what he's talking about was illegals.
[00:23:35] The liberals reporting on it, they can't say illegal.
[00:23:39] But that little warminess of not saying illegal calling is saying undocumented.
[00:23:46] And I remember when they changed it officially, I watched them and they go, well, people
[00:23:59] That's egg head shit that these people despise.
[00:24:00] Then they're making out the trumps at all Mexicans, which it's not what he was saying.
[00:24:04] But what he said was bad enough, like illegals are not all rapists.
[00:24:08] You could have focused on it, but then people don't believe you when you start throwing
[00:24:15] But hey, if you're going to accept the evidence of Trump as a rapist, Clinton's definitely
[00:24:21] She helped fucking destroy the women that accused her husband.
[00:24:25] She raped the murdered children through the Comet Ping Pong pizza restaurant.
[00:24:28] Not that when those women said Clinton raped him, Hillary was in on trying to suppress
[00:24:34] If you if you did, where do you stand on pizza gate, by the way?
[00:24:40] In one of the Podesta emails, there was an email that was like, Hey, John, I found a
[00:24:44] handkerchief with a map on the back that looks pizza related.
[00:24:48] Not sure if this is yours or not disregard.
[00:24:57] They were very respectable people on Reddit who do solid investigative videos.
[00:25:04] And so pizza is apparently it's a code word for satanic rituals where you rape and murder
[00:25:13] And the entire Democratic establishment has this, you know, you know that.
[00:25:21] And there's all this evidence like, you know, the email I just mentioned.
[00:25:28] I'm talking about the actual shit the Clinton's doing.
[00:25:32] Well, it's the funniest thing in the fucking world.
[00:25:37] Yeah, it's run out of a pizza restaurant called Comet Ping Pong in DC.
[00:25:41] It's like the worst chucky cheese ever.
[00:25:44] Well, so it seems like this whole silly conspiracy theory thing, because, you know, the evidence
[00:25:47] is like, Oh, well, you know, like look at this, the description of the business on its
[00:25:51] own websites as a fun family oriented place.
[00:25:57] And it just seems like this silly thing.
[00:26:00] But then the guy that owns the pizza restaurant, if you look at his Instagram likes, it's all
[00:26:05] just suggestive pictures of like infants and stuff.
[00:26:12] Like if you look like he actually at like there is like a little bit of there's just enough
[00:26:16] weird shit going on that it's like, okay, there might be some truth here.
[00:26:24] We're like better Franklin Road around in a horse and carriage.
[00:26:30] Nobody nobody would think, you know, if you said subway Jared was a pedophile two weeks
[00:26:33] before that story broke, people were like, yeah, come on.
[00:26:35] That's everybody just their pedophile radar is way off.
[00:26:42] But that's every time someone's a pedophile.
[00:26:52] It's always an adult man that's like, anyway, I talked to Jessica.
[00:26:55] It's not high, but it is like, you know, it's got that like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:27:00] Their deepest fear is government where the people like are qualified.
[00:27:04] Wherever you hear that, they're so qualified.
[00:27:07] They want a guy just like them or the guy you could drink beer with fucking idea, which
[00:27:14] But and also what a fuck you to people.
[00:27:17] People told me guys like a monkey wrench to them throwing in.
[00:27:22] He said it's a change year and Donald Trump is a change candidate.
[00:27:26] If it was Bernie, people would have had to go for Bernie just because that's how bad
[00:27:32] If you're below 30 or something, especially a woman who like loves her, that's that's
[00:27:37] all these women who are against Hillary just remembered.
[00:27:43] Lena Dunham and had all the people that were hurt by it.
[00:27:51] I just imagine Lena Dunham nude on stage at the victory.
[00:27:56] As the states come in and they know they're losing and Lena's trying to find more ways
[00:28:02] She's she's she's already completely nude.
[00:28:04] Lena Dunham reading her reaction to the new dude.
[00:28:07] Oh, you read the thing she wrote about her election night about her crying.
[00:28:18] It's still that guy from the band from from fun from that.
[00:28:23] I was hoping it was just some guy that was like, this is my fucking ticket.
[00:28:26] I'm going to put up with all of this bullshit.
[00:28:33] But seriously, what are Hillary's accomplishments?
[00:28:34] I always try to ask somebody at nobody.
[00:28:37] And I looked up her page of what she got and it's like a girl.
[00:28:41] Looks like a New York girls padded resume.
[00:28:47] And it's like she just showed up for the photo with the last minute.
[00:28:50] She literally got put off of her husband's name into where she did.
[00:29:02] Well, she was a lawyer prior to, you know, if you successful litigator.
[00:29:07] She was also she was the breadwinner the entire time that Bill Clinton was the arch and error
[00:29:14] She was out earning him by probably 200%.
[00:29:16] It doesn't make her any more qualified than fucking, uh, yeah.
[00:29:19] That's the one criticism that's like, I was showing as a career because of her.
[00:29:24] By the way, for a record, like I'm not insane.
[00:29:29] And yeah, Bill Clinton also like raped them out of all their money while he was in, uh,
[00:29:35] So the amount of legal debt they had when they got out of, you know, when the Clinton's administration
[00:29:40] ended, they didn't have any real money.
[00:29:42] I mean, wait, so they were paying for that out of their own.
[00:29:46] White House counsel, but they, you know, they also have to spend their own money.
[00:29:50] So they're, you can't have the taxpayer paying for your blowjob.
[00:29:53] They're like, uh, uh, they, they were something like eight, eight, like $800,000 in debt when
[00:30:04] I mean, because claims remember is a good president still.
[00:30:05] He is overall like whatever the, whatever people bring up presence, they see them because
[00:30:10] I'm telling you, Obama will get the same.
[00:30:13] Those takes aren't really like nuanced though.
[00:30:16] It's because they're not remember him as a good president because he was, he was charismatic.
[00:30:21] It's because he played that fucking saxophone.
[00:30:24] I mean, listen, like I said, when a bald man could get elected, I'll give his shit whether
[00:30:30] But like, it's unbelievable with people who voted.
[00:30:32] I think with WikiLeaks, with the FBI, with everything, if it was just some fucking haircut,
[00:30:39] you know, some fucking square jawed Mitt Romney type.
[00:30:45] If all that shit happened to Martin O'Malley, he'd still be Trump.
[00:30:53] It's, it's, she has so much more baggage, dude.
[00:30:58] The second she won the primary, it was lost.
[00:31:01] The second she won the primary, it was done.
[00:31:04] You don't run someone with over 50% unlikeability rating ever.
[00:31:08] And he, I didn't even know that was that bad.
[00:31:18] But I hate vote where you vote out of hate.
[00:31:22] I think that Republicans vote for Republicans.
[00:31:24] He got as many votes as John McCain and fucking Mitt Romney.
[00:31:32] Like, I don't know what we're disagreeing about.
[00:31:34] I don't think that it was a, I think that Hillary Clinton was just someone we've known
[00:31:40] She had her experience was a complete liability because she'd been in her entire, you know,
[00:31:50] Trump was like cutting deals with the mob in New York in the late 70s.
[00:31:53] She was also a piece of shit during the 2008 election.
[00:31:59] You don't understand why the piece is why the whole bomb.
[00:32:02] She was absolutely, she started, you know, that birth certificate thing.
[00:32:08] Yeah, there's a picture of him in like African garb.
[00:32:10] All this rated human thought was like ran with as far as Obama's concern that all came
[00:32:17] Not all of it, but the birth, like that birth thing.
[00:32:19] Hillary Clinton's killing invented birth.
[00:32:29] That was a fucking, that was a line that we're pushing with Obama boys back in 2008.
[00:32:36] It was the same because this is before bro.
[00:32:44] If they don't have a problem going dirty, why didn't they do that with Trump?
[00:32:47] And the way you do that with Trump is you don't call him a rapist because you know he's
[00:32:51] You leak stories about how like, oh, he couldn't get his dick hard.
[00:32:57] That's fucking the only thing that ever heard him was Marco Rubio's hands comment.
[00:33:02] Just they, he gave Rubio handed it to you on a fucking cold.
[00:33:07] He leaked news of his own wife during the fucking election.
[00:33:10] He's like, oh my God, I'm so disappointed.
[00:33:18] He was like, well, Trump's, you know what?
[00:33:19] Disturbs me about that, that, that audio of him pussy grabbing and all that shit.
[00:33:25] Like somebody qualified would have gotten a higher PI to find that shit before Hillary's
[00:33:33] That's his big selling point is he's this fucking amazing businessman who's a little smart.
[00:33:38] And he did, you know, to me, he's the equivalent of like a YouTube person being the new greatest
[00:33:44] You know, like what the fuck some YouTube got like that.
[00:33:45] I like that he doesn't have any government.
[00:33:48] Well, I don't know that such a great idea.
[00:33:50] Honestly, who's more qualified to be president than a fucking guy that pretends to be good
[00:33:59] Yeah, no, it's a fucking, I mean, even honestly with foreign, I think with world with world
[00:34:04] shit, I think he'll be better than Obama, honestly.
[00:34:12] In the Middle East with Russia, North Korea.
[00:34:15] Russia, first of all, Russia, we were fucking fucked up how we handled them.
[00:34:20] I mean, Obama was fucked up with that and Russia was celebrating.
[00:34:24] Russia is still going to be a fucking aggressor.
[00:34:27] Yeah, but there's just be there like we fucked up with them.
[00:34:30] I'm telling you, the foreigners, they only respect a fucking guy they're terrified of
[00:34:36] Yeah, but don't you think Hillary's a warmonger?
[00:34:39] She would have saved, she would have traveled to the same fucking degree that Trump.
[00:34:45] She would have saved or rattled to the same degree Trump is going to.
[00:34:48] I think that Trump in was like, whenever you hear the word, the world is scared.
[00:34:53] But don't you think Trump is just a con man then?
[00:34:57] Putin has literally murdered people with his hands.
[00:35:02] He's worried about Russia's own interests.
[00:35:03] No, but I'm saying like, that's the only one who gets fucked with it.
[00:35:08] Donald Trump's just like, I think I got a lot of money from his dad.
[00:35:11] I think that the annexation of Crimea last year, two years ago, whenever it was, is
[00:35:17] like Russia's going to keep doing shit like that.
[00:35:30] Yeah, Ukraine has nothing to do with that.
[00:35:32] And tagginizing him like what's the threat of Russia to us?
[00:35:38] Like, what is the reason why we're here?
[00:35:44] That's Obama's biggest fault how he fucked that up with Syria.
[00:35:51] And then, you know, the Syrian store wouldn't be as bad as it.
[00:35:55] I don't even know if, I mean, I don't know enough about it, but I don't know if the
[00:36:00] And it's what America always does, everything is half-assed.
[00:36:05] In the beginning, the people that weren't tired, they got slaughtered by fucking the
[00:36:15] The one we were backing, the guy that Twitter guy went to.
[00:36:22] Well, we didn't do it till later because they wanted, there was like a frontline documentary
[00:36:32] They didn't want to help fight ISIS in Iraq because they wanted Maliki to resign and he
[00:36:38] He wouldn't fight the war and he wanted, you know, he wanted the US to come in and do
[00:36:41] it for him and then he wouldn't do that.
[00:36:43] So eventually he stepped down and then we didn't have any rebels to back other than
[00:36:47] the YPG, which put us in like a shitty situation with Turkey because-
[00:37:01] They're like communist Kurds that we backed, but they're also, I guess, somehow related
[00:37:07] to groups that are fighting the Turkish guy.
[00:37:09] Do you know their religion, by the way, the Kurds?
[00:37:12] It's like this weird, like they worship Satan, but like they think he's a good guy.
[00:37:18] My big bit two years ago was pretending to be offended when I heard people say Kurd.
[00:37:22] I'm like, how dare you speak about those people like that?
[00:37:30] Yeah, that I don't know why I think Trump's seem kind of isolationist.
[00:37:36] I mean, I guess I don't know what he stands for.
[00:37:38] Yeah, but that goes out the window as soon as your president.
[00:37:43] I don't know what he's going to stick to.
[00:37:44] He's going to be a fucking isolationist when you're some libertarian.
[00:37:51] I don't know what he's going to do when I think about it.
[00:37:54] I don't believe any of any of any of you said I wouldn't bet on.
[00:37:57] He's going to be surrounded by by national security guys that are telling him to get involved.
[00:38:01] Yeah, involved in all this fucking shit and they're going to be smarter than him and they're
[00:38:05] going to have data and they're going to have experience and then we're going to continue
[00:38:08] on the same fucking path we've been going down and it'll get worse.
[00:38:13] Would you now what path do you think we would have gone down different with Hillary because
[00:38:16] I would have rather a Hillary probably the same shit.
[00:38:19] You know, what do you think the brighter side?
[00:38:24] The Syrian no fly zone was the thing that was like kind of scary with Hillary because she's
[00:38:29] talking about shooting down Russian plane.
[00:38:33] That's like that's just to be selfish like what actually affects your life in terms of
[00:38:40] You know, increasing tension with Russia is like a problem.
[00:38:51] Here's here's the thing that they have this this is a bomb.
[00:38:58] There's there's this arrogance that fucking people in this generation have towards the
[00:39:02] possibility of nuclear war because we somehow survived the Civil War or the Cold War.
[00:39:09] The amount of times we came like a contour away from absolute destruction.
[00:39:18] But mutually assured destruction is a thing that just happened to work.
[00:39:20] And a lot of people look back at it and say, oh, well, we'll never actually deploy nukes.
[00:39:24] Now you have a lot more countries that actually have nuclear weapons.
[00:39:31] But like to even get into it, you know, and that was Trump was talking about possibly,
[00:39:37] And you have countries now that, you know, will thumb their nose at, you know, the idea
[00:39:48] Did you ever see a thing about Stuxnet that's been running on Russia?
[00:39:55] Oh, we got in that argument with Karen about it.
[00:39:57] Man, I keep way so funny arguing with it is really if they get that when they get emotionally.
[00:40:04] And in fact, arguing with Arabs, same goddamn thing.
[00:40:07] And you can never, you never get them to admit a thing ever.
[00:40:12] Well, that's, that's, that's, that's arguing with anybody.
[00:40:17] Arabs, it really is just the way they argue that shit.
[00:40:20] I'm bummed that I got banned from Facebook because like the best groups, the best groups
[00:40:25] They'll like remove this illegal Muslim alien Kenyan from office, you know, nine exclamation
[00:40:33] And they're all ecstatic that Trump selected and I've been like photo shopping pictures
[00:40:37] of like, you know, Trump bringing Sharia law to the United States and like post, posting
[00:40:41] them in those groups and they're like, he cannot do this.
[00:40:49] Have you fallen like in their double wide on their like windows 95 computer that they
[00:40:53] used to walk on the president r slash locker up?
[00:41:03] They're like, well, you can't tell the FBI not to lock her up.
[00:41:10] Like do not understand, like she did something bad enough to be locked up.
[00:41:14] Like all those things like Ben Gausey and like her emails like, but I never had shit.
[00:41:21] Like, but on the other hand, I didn't, she didn't exactly employ the month.
[00:41:27] She's like, so she kind of sucked at her job.
[00:41:31] And the defense of locking her up is her like, if there was some low level government
[00:41:34] employee that did this, he would be railroaded by bureaucracy and fucked over for the rest
[00:41:40] And it's like, yeah, you should be fighting to make sure that doesn't happen.
[00:41:47] And first of all, even if she did go to jail, the jail would be identical to her home in
[00:41:52] It would be that fucking tennis court jail for the animal for all street.
[00:41:55] If they picked her out to go to jail after all the evil shit every other president did,
[00:42:04] That would be so insane for her to be singled out as the one that we send to jail when
[00:42:09] They just send her to 11 worth and she gets stabbed to death in the showers.
[00:42:25] That's the, it's literally that is the country we live in.
[00:42:28] It's just the one that's, yeah, well, they can't put you with the poor people to tear you
[00:42:33] You can pretend to be a, that's what the tip.
[00:42:36] You walk up to the biggest guy in there and you go, listen, I'm a child molester.
[00:42:44] I'm not part of the system where you all mess around with each other.
[00:42:57] So, you know, I'm, I'm pretty much, I don't even have to worry about getting in trouble
[00:43:01] So if you hear any of the other fellows talking about seeing if I'm like a gang member or
[00:43:13] I'll just be in myself jerking off to kids.
[00:43:25] I watch all his, and he's such a fucking annoying.
[00:43:33] I mean, I watch him probably, but watch him.
[00:43:40] Because the guy's jerking off in his cell.
[00:43:44] I'm doing the female God was standing there.
[00:43:52] I think it brought up on the last, on the last podcast.
[00:43:53] I was laughing about, I watched like Silence of the Lambs again recently.
[00:43:56] And if they'd seen where like they go into, you know, they go to like Hannibal Lecter's
[00:44:01] And he's got all his classical music and globes and shit and fucking, you know, like a telescope
[00:44:08] And, and then, you know, so it's like, obviously this guy's like a mastermind criminal, the
[00:44:13] most, this evil genius, you know, and that's his cell and that's the dog.
[00:44:20] So he's, he's this like evil genius in this special prison.
[00:44:23] And then she's like, all right, I'll see you later.
[00:44:27] And then the guy in the cell right next to him just throws common her face.
[00:44:31] And it's like, what part of the jail is that?
[00:44:34] They have like Hannibal Lecter next to the come throw in guy.
[00:44:43] Keep leaving it enough to just really wing at her too.
[00:44:45] Can you imagine how much Hannibal Lecter hated that guy?
[00:44:50] I'm saying all this smart shit to this woman.
[00:44:51] You just throw, you just cock me by throwing common her face.
[00:44:55] No, we've got two contrasting criminals here.
[00:44:59] That's why Hannibal Lecter never eats her.
[00:45:02] That's like a sub tech, a sub plot that people don't pick up on.
[00:45:05] That guy, that guy throws common her face in front of Hannibal.
[00:45:23] That's like, everyone was shitting on Emily Nussbaum this week, but her, her fucking.
[00:45:41] That under Trump, like sitcoms will be illegal.
[00:45:49] I mean, that's probably not going to be true.
[00:45:50] But think about how free we were under Clinton in order to have Darmangrag.
[00:45:54] That's really, that's what he created for us.
[00:45:57] And I think Republicans would allow that show.
[00:46:00] A woman that's clearly a lesbian, dating a clearly gay man, being, being, you know, spiritual
[00:46:12] Listen, my two dads came out during the Reagan years.
[00:46:15] My two dads, did you used to watch that?
[00:46:18] Oh, I thought you meant Europe two dads.
[00:46:20] They came out at the same time with your dads.
[00:46:24] So they were just living through the night.
[00:46:25] Anyway, we're a gay-riser show with a guy from Deep Star Six.
[00:46:29] And a judge sentences them to both raise the daughter.
[00:46:42] And he goes, you both have to live together and he's her as a couple.
[00:46:53] I used to watch Will and Grace and people would be like, you know what's crazy is that
[00:46:58] the actor that plays Will is gay in real life, but the actor that plays Jack isn't.
[00:47:03] Like a couple of people mentioned that to me is if it like blowed their mind and it's
[00:47:08] You mean the guy acting like a gay cartoon character is an actually gay in real life?
[00:47:12] And the guy that's just sort of playing a role is the one that's actually homosexual.
[00:47:16] Like yeah, I thought that show tunes guy was...
[00:47:22] That was the one that wasn't actually gay in real life, but he would every scene he'd
[00:47:38] Yeah, Will is not gay in real life, but Sean Hayes is gay.
[00:47:46] If you're gay, you have to walk into a room and be like, my ass hurts.
[00:47:50] I know he was gay, because he was really obviously gay.
[00:47:53] No, Nick was trying to say that he was a card student.
[00:47:57] Stop trying to say stereotypes aren't real when they're so real.
[00:48:06] So we're like, whoa, we're listening to a tribe called Quest.
[00:48:10] All that, which had a Latino way before SNL.
[00:48:14] You got shows with two dads and you don't know if they're fucking...
[00:48:18] Isn't that weird a two-night show when they're not fucking?
[00:48:21] It sounds like a compromise, some gay guys compromise show.
[00:48:24] Well, that's what we can do, but has that been other reasons?
[00:48:29] Yeah, it was a will they won't they kind of thing.
[00:48:33] The sexual tension really kept that show together.
[00:48:38] Elizabeth is his dead trans husband and wants to see.
[00:48:53] So recently there was a spin off called Just Sanford because the guy that played the sun
[00:48:58] So they just had a show that was just called Sanford and it sucked.
[00:49:05] They needed both of them to make it work.
[00:49:12] That would be like if they did all in the family and they just had fucking Archie just saying
[00:49:15] racist shit thing that inward for 22 minutes a week screaming in his television.
[00:49:22] All the meat, I think all the meat heads that grew up didn't realize how shitty the social
[00:49:30] They all think they're young and hip, the baby boomer liberals.
[00:49:34] So they all think they're with whatever.
[00:49:35] So they just agree to every dumb fucking thing.
[00:49:41] The horse shit that comes out of millennials now, the cultural appropriation shit, all this
[00:49:49] The baby boomers kind of just always go along with it and don't seem to know what any of
[00:49:54] They just go, well, I'm from Woodstock and I'm young.
[00:49:59] And I think they miscalculated greatly going with those.
[00:50:03] I think they imagined like the Daily Show was like, even when the Daily Show was at its
[00:50:10] And if it was the thing, because I lived here, that was like the thing.
[00:50:13] I would go the rest of the country and they didn't even have Comedy Central in their
[00:50:18] Like I don't think they're all watching Hot in Cleveland.
[00:50:20] Comedy Central's biggest money maker was always the, you know, the redneck shit.
[00:50:27] What about, I thought Chappelle is like, Chappelle, yeah.
[00:50:29] But nothing like, I believe until Kevin Hart's thing, one of his things came out like,
[00:50:37] The roasts are like their highest rated program.
[00:50:39] That's what comedy is all about, baby roast.
[00:50:48] They're making me do Subo, which is like a battle?
[00:50:53] Why are you going to lose for the affirmative action reasons?
[00:51:00] Yeah, dude, you're going to lose a heartbeat to Subo for that.
[00:51:03] I would go with nothing to lose because you're probably going to lose.
[00:51:06] Well, that's how I've been going into them.
[00:51:07] I didn't even write jokes for the JP one.
[00:51:08] I figured I'd just call him a pedophile the whole time.
[00:51:15] But people just call me a pedophile and everyone of those roast battles.
[00:51:19] So I was like, either it's going to be funny.
[00:51:20] Is this a disappointment how bad people are at the roast battle?
[00:51:23] Like I always, that kid's a me because written good jokes for others.
[00:51:28] Zach, yeah, it's actually the only funny guy.
[00:51:32] No, the one that I saw was really good.
[00:51:35] Evan Scott Chappel, one was very, very good.
[00:51:38] Yeah, but they were also very good friends.
[00:51:41] When you stopped it, it was good because you guys are friends.
[00:51:43] If you're not friends, then it's horrible.
[00:51:44] Zach was the favorite to win going into that because Zach is like, I think Zach is easily
[00:51:50] one of the top five joke writers in New York City.
[00:51:58] It was Caitlyn that discovered him, I think.
[00:52:00] Caitlyn got him to write against me for the roast battle.
[00:52:03] And then I found that out and I was telling people Zach wrote for her.
[00:52:09] I thought they were gonna do jokes that she sent me.
[00:52:16] I was like, okay, you know, I guess I'm like, I had you.
[00:52:20] I'm like, I was asking what stuff worked because I want to know if anything I sent.
[00:52:30] But that shitty attitude of like this means something.
[00:52:32] Is the most is the grossest part of these rose battles, especially when they're not friends
[00:52:35] and they're like three to five year comics.
[00:52:39] And they now think this is there for time indefinite.
[00:52:42] They're officially better than someone.
[00:52:44] Like, or this like weird, well, I heard he had someone write jokes for him.
[00:52:50] I hear like, that's maybe a seven or eight year comic thing.
[00:52:56] Like, of course you got this is not a measure of the worst.
[00:52:58] It's a dumb thing that's hot right now that you fucking have to do if you want to get,
[00:53:11] At least your writing jokes, you know, it's not fucking, you know, air sex or yeah, or,
[00:53:31] There was a naked show and who was I forget who you know, who was on stage.
[00:53:35] I was dude Rob from fucking Boston or he was the guy that was first when I first heard
[00:53:42] I'm like, why do you want to fucking get naked?
[00:53:43] I just remember this dude seemed to really want to be naked.
[00:53:44] What I love about the naked, it used to be, there used to be underwear shows and now
[00:53:47] there, but there's still underwear shows, but then the prevalence of the naked show
[00:53:51] has just made the underwear show look like the most insecure show in the entire world.
[00:53:55] Who would want, isn't comedy more than it was without, yeah, what other distraction?
[00:54:01] Well, the people that I feel, a lot of people that do those shows, that's the best
[00:54:08] Well, yeah, because they're like, you know, I don't know if my dicks funny.
[00:54:10] Who would ever looked up to and call me that would do that show?
[00:54:33] I just met a name to me and I laughed my ass off when the name was thrown out and I'm
[00:54:46] Can you imagine what I would go see Mort Saul do the naked show?
[00:54:50] Can you imagine what his dick look like?
[00:54:52] There's so many stupid things added to stand up to get a little gimmick, but the naked
[00:55:08] How does that make it funnier to make it funnier?
[00:55:11] You know, you know, who was on stage, but stops there and he's watching her and he's
[00:55:24] He's like, he's a girl with a nice breast bombing and they'll be like, this is one of the
[00:55:27] Everyone goes there just to fucking see you here.
[00:55:31] Lewis J. Gomez, I think it's a really great idea.
[00:55:33] Yeah, you got to pull your head out of your fucking ass.
[00:55:36] Look, there's a lot of podcasts related.
[00:55:38] Lewis is smart when it comes to the podcasting business.
[00:55:42] He's got his shit squared away with that.
[00:56:02] Yeah, I used to just go to the Naked show and walk around and just loudly be like, I'm
[00:56:11] I really want to be the reason they stopped doing that show because some guy kept trying
[00:56:15] to jack off and talk about how badly he wants to jack off.
[00:56:23] Bombing Naked is probably, it's the most terrifying, like the most, when I saw that
[00:56:29] girl doing that before Sovereign I kept going, this is incredible.
[00:56:34] Like, yeah, she, it was one of the most.
[00:56:38] Yeah, yeah, it's one of the most uncomfortable.
[00:56:51] She was naked and bombing and looked good.
[00:57:00] I hope there's like a fat male comic that does the Naked show with his shirt still on.
[00:57:24] I remember one time I interrupted my folks doing it when we were on vacation.
[00:57:28] My dad answered the door, pulling his T-shirt like over his day.
[00:57:32] You know your dad leaves shirt like fuck.
[00:57:59] I was just saying to somebody, like cuck is such a great slur and it's such a shame that
[00:58:12] Because cuck speaks, there is actually no woke critique of cuck as an insult because
[00:58:17] it only, it punches up if you think about it.
[00:58:20] It attacks like heteronormative masculinity.
[00:58:25] I was even thinking about it in terms of directional punching.
[00:58:27] I was thinking of it in terms of when you couldn't say faggot anymore and what word can
[00:58:35] Because faggot's to tell you you're not enough of a man or something, right?
[00:58:38] And now they have the perfect word to say it.
[00:58:42] And in a phonetic way, I mean it opens and closes with those plosives.
[00:58:52] Or even that's the diminutive, but even the full version.
[00:58:56] It was like a guy that's just been kicked in the dick.
[00:59:02] I could meet like whoever coined the phrase punching down and punch down at the time.
[00:59:14] I think it was someone who's fucking stupid.
[00:59:16] Do you know what a dipshit nerves you have to be?
[00:59:17] It was that midget to kill itself on the whisper.
[00:59:18] No, to think that being mocked is the worst thing in the world that could ever happen
[00:59:23] And that's where that punching up because not every even being making fun of somebody
[00:59:30] Just to even think about it that way just shows what a fucking human zero you are inside.
[00:59:36] And then the evil of imagining that you're on top of a hierarchy.
[00:59:43] Somebody said about a homeless because they had like some guy's homeless joke.
[00:59:46] So you're better than the homeless guy and you recognize that.
[00:59:52] You're not just hitting your sensitivity.
[00:59:55] Well, you run out of shit to make fun of and then they don't know how to write jokes
[01:00:09] They imagine it's like being beaten if a joke, when they know a joke at someone's expense.
[01:00:13] But don't you think they over-estimate me?
[01:00:16] My favorite was when you would see online people would be like, yeah, actually this
[01:00:23] Yeah, no words or actions is how we got that insanity from Trump.
[01:00:26] But don't you think being mean is funny?
[01:00:32] You didn't think when Trump was just like being mean, he was kind of funny.
[01:00:36] When he's being mean to Ted Cruz, you didn't think that was funny?
[01:00:42] It's mean is funny, but it's funny when it's being absorbed by somebody that actually
[01:00:53] I'm saying mean is funny because in terms of funny, you have an action and then you have
[01:00:57] an audience and then the funniness happens somewhere in between the two.
[01:01:01] So mean this happens when you have one person being mean to another person and it becomes
[01:01:06] funny when somebody observes that and the funny happens in the way that it's interpreted
[01:01:12] And I think meanness is funny when the observer has real empathy and they're not a mean person
[01:01:17] themselves, but they understand the absurdity of a mean situation.
[01:01:21] And I've told that story about working in that mall kiosk with that Iranian kid and
[01:01:28] that woman that had the grown retarded son and then-
[01:01:34] That's one of the hardest I've ever laughed in my entire life.
[01:01:38] And if I wasn't genuinely just heartbroken for this family.
[01:01:45] Well, people don't understand what the fuck laughed.
[01:01:47] I don't know if you don't read strangers or strange land in school or something, but
[01:02:00] You're not laughing because you're happy about a thing.
[01:02:03] So of course there's going to be somebody-
[01:02:11] Kind of the Daily Show you write about when it was at the height of what it was.
[01:02:16] The Daily Show kind of fucked that everything up a little bit because these millennials
[01:02:20] that loved it just decided that's what it always is.
[01:02:24] It can be what John Stewart did, but it doesn't have any point of power moral component whatsoever.
[01:02:29] If you're actually funny, you can't write from a place of pain unless you actually
[01:02:33] developed your sense of humor out of a defense mechanism.
[01:02:37] If you're one of those kinds of comics, because there's guys that aren't.
[01:02:40] For Rory Scovald, there's nothing sad about his comedy.
[01:02:44] Right, it doesn't have to be, but even that is whatever.
[01:02:49] Even like Brian Regan is all clean and nothing dark about Brian Regan.
[01:02:52] It's still how stupid he was in school.
[01:02:58] There's never a thing where it's up worthy.
[01:03:01] That's just not comedy because you're not funny.
[01:03:06] There's shit that I just don't like that I'll be like, because I don't think I'm fucking
[01:03:14] A lot of people seem to think people think honesty is mean.
[01:03:19] Like that fucking passive aggressive everything you see in the scene in Brooklyn and comedy,
[01:03:36] Well I kicked off a show but one of the people who ran the show like messaged me like, hey
[01:03:39] look at what the other producers are saying about you and say people I haven't even met
[01:03:44] Some shitty bar show it fucking over the eight.
[01:03:48] Wait, wait, I don't understand other producers.
[01:03:50] They call themselves producers now instead of people that fucking know a bartender or
[01:04:00] When I moved out to LA, it was all these people talking about like, oh yeah.
[01:04:04] Well it's because they're serious about their careers.
[01:04:07] So she sends me this text and she's like, look what the other producers are showing.
[01:04:10] I've never met these people my entire life and they're like, oh he's a fucking big bully.
[01:04:15] That guy's a piece of shit or whatever and it's because I made fun of Cockfield and
[01:04:21] like they all fucking despise me for making fun of Cockfield.
[01:04:27] Well people take themselves real seriously.
[01:04:33] It's got nothing to do with your fucking privilege.
[01:04:35] If you take yourself really, really seriously, you should be mocked.
[01:04:40] Whoever you are, if you're like, I don't laugh at things directed at me.
[01:04:43] You should, you absolutely should be mocked.
[01:04:46] But some people should be exempted from that.
[01:04:47] I think within the comedy community, absolutely that applies.
[01:04:50] But if it's somebody that, you know, like I have, I do have empathy when you know, like
[01:04:54] saying like, oh rape jokes should be off limits.
[01:04:58] But I'm talking to somebody that is like a counselor at like a, you know, a rape survivor's
[01:05:03] I'm not going to argue with them about it.
[01:05:04] I'll concede the point because that should have, does affect them on a personal level.
[01:05:08] And they're not able to see the humor in something that they're not removed.
[01:05:13] Like a blanket statements like a, of this or that's not funny is a stupid thing in general.
[01:05:23] You're not going to a reap center and telling reeb jokes.
[01:05:27] different point, but I'm just saying that, that, that anybody that takes themselves seriously
[01:05:33] Definitely anybody that's like, you know, if you just were violently victimized by something,
[01:05:36] I don't expect you to, you know, I, these guys, I had a joke about that, that brother
[01:05:41] that blew up the boss and marathon, you know, but yeah, the cute ones.
[01:05:52] So they dumb joke that they were dinosaurs.
[01:05:57] But these guys like don't even go there, but it was, he's like, go where?
[01:06:12] Don't, don't, that's just piece of shit.
[01:06:13] Boston people don't like having Boston made fun of.
[01:06:16] You know how much they love that marathon bombing because they finally had something
[01:06:27] You can make the parallel to the feminists that almost appear to want to get raped to
[01:06:31] have the joy of saying that they hate it.
[01:06:44] We're not, we're not big on facts here.
[01:06:48] The Boston Brahmins, the, the guys with the Mr. Feeney accents, they invented feminism.
[01:07:08] Don't, don't fucking tell me to be careful.
[01:07:11] I love that people like still want to define feminism as if it's not like thoroughly integrated
[01:07:14] in the pop culture at this point and not really, you know, I mean, as far as like why
[01:07:20] you're going to go to buzzfeed.com and get a description, like a working framework of
[01:07:24] what feminism is as it relates to Beyonce or whatever.
[01:07:29] That is why they're looking at it to see how it relates to Beyonce.
[01:07:33] To address it as if it's like a, you know, like codified theory or ideology.
[01:07:41] Well, the people that is just, it's just taken by anybody to mean whatever they want
[01:07:45] People that now fancy themselves great thinkers in it who were just shitbag bloggers a few
[01:07:48] years ago, they've been given authority to fucking get little things going.
[01:07:53] Those people all look at as turf and you're with them and every little goddamn thing they
[01:07:57] say or you're fucking out and you'll be a woman, all those women's groups, the comedy
[01:08:02] ones, anybody I thought was funny got kicked out.
[01:08:05] Well, that's going to end now that we have Nazis in power again.
[01:08:09] All this, all this fucking like, you know, as much as like, you know, and I'm friends
[01:08:12] with a lot of like, you know, people that are like, well, this is leftist chance to really
[01:08:16] have like a real socialist movement and it's like, yeah, that won't be.
[01:08:20] I really doubt in a year you're going to just be a fucking Democrat because you're going
[01:08:25] Uh, as like, as an alternative to Trump.
[01:08:31] Well, you have to be going to have to be.
[01:08:32] I mean, there's a chance to cut down on the horseshit elements and maybe put some one
[01:08:36] in the question is like what people are they going to put in charge of the DNC and stuff.
[01:08:48] He's best friends with the black Israelites.
[01:08:57] He supports, uh, he has some relation to Farrakhan, I guess.
[01:09:01] I know he's not, but you might as well upgrade him.
[01:09:07] The black Israelites are the greatest people in the entire world.
[01:09:10] I was talking as one late woman that messaged me.
[01:09:13] His dad was a black Israelite and he's one I'd seen in their videos because I used to
[01:09:21] It was funny because she was like an extra hovers witness kit, but of that, of black Israelites.
[01:09:25] I've never talked to anybody like that.
[01:09:26] That was to start who was like, greased in it and was like, Oh Lord.
[01:09:35] I can't remember what we were talking about.
[01:09:38] What is it with like any kind of extremism you have to start wearing your sheets around?
[01:09:42] Have you seen the documentary about the cult in Philly that they bombed?
[01:09:50] That's why I asked you that that shit was wild.
[01:09:52] Like how all the kids they made, they didn't let them wear clothes.
[01:09:57] I mean, they were there and everyone changed their last name to Africa, right?
[01:10:02] And I was in, in Oregon to Ramona, Africa, if you were like lefty, she was a big like,
[01:10:06] you're supposed to give a shit about her and she's like, she like murdered her a fucking
[01:10:13] But that back then it was like fringe to be like, yeah, but now you're supposed to be
[01:10:18] You know, people talk about like fucking with Russia or whatever, like that, the move bombing
[01:10:22] stands out as like a move bombing and Waco stand out.
[01:10:26] It's like horrific overreach by police for by, but like, you know, pretty well.
[01:10:32] And that's like a dark moment in American history.
[01:10:34] And a couple of years ago, like these, uh, Chechens took over some theater in Russia and
[01:10:39] like took like a significant number of hostage.
[01:10:44] And they were just like, oh, we'll just gas everyone in the theater and kill.
[01:10:50] Well, it's like the police watched a speed with the fucking, you know, pop quiz hotshot.
[01:10:57] Well, do you remember the Chechens took that school?
[01:10:59] They were like afraid that the Russians were going to let them.
[01:11:03] Well, it's like there's, uh, it's beyond like just a conspiracy theory.
[01:11:07] There's like legitimate evidence that, uh, like, uh, was it FSB?
[01:11:16] They like bombed, uh, apartment buildings.
[01:11:19] They basically started this second Chechen war.
[01:11:25] I'm looking, I'm in the market for a 65 inch TV.
[01:11:28] And I'm the only reason is to watch, uh, watch TV as documented.
[01:11:33] That's the my, the dancing boys of Afghanistan.
[01:11:39] I watch frontline on the frontline website and that if I, yeah, they updated.
[01:11:51] That they're traditionally doing in Afghanistan.
[01:11:53] I just love that the army was like, just let them do it.
[01:11:57] That's all our allies are the football.
[01:12:02] The Taliban kind of was good about putting a stop to it.
[01:12:03] Well, that's why, that's why we're fucked is, you know, I'm in the Middle East.
[01:12:05] People say like, Oh, well, here's the solution.
[01:12:10] We are always on the side of boy fuckers in this country.
[01:12:13] If they're rich, we're going to bring pizza to Afghanistan.
[01:12:20] You just run Afghani boys out the back of it.
[01:12:23] My favorite one is you've seen the fire stone one about that plantation in Liberia.
[01:12:30] Oh, about the rubber, the rubber, rubber plantation that one fire stone open like a rubber plantation.
[01:12:35] And Liberia or whatever, and Liberia had a civil war and like the white people that worked
[01:12:40] on the plantation just sort of locked themselves in the house while like all of their workers
[01:12:44] were murdered and then they just like took a helicopter left.
[01:12:51] These people they worked with for like, I don't know, 15 years.
[01:12:55] They just, well, they could, they were like, well, we're not going to get involved.
[01:12:57] Like the most over there white people are the, I didn't see nothing.
[01:13:00] It would be like if Schindler's list was a four and a half minute long movie where Schindler's
[01:13:12] That is what, when they were having the Charles Taylor war.
[01:13:20] I love, I love how, cause like, I didn't know it was like such a birth by America where
[01:13:23] the people like go back to Africa and then I didn't know that was the country where they
[01:13:28] They went and they loved America the whole time.
[01:13:34] They made a bootleg ass American flag of one star.
[01:13:36] You know, that's why I said, what a record can never be a state cause it's like 51.
[01:13:51] I thought you were meant, you were objecting to adding a 51st star on the, no, I don't
[01:13:57] I think that the US flag really nice looking flag.
[01:14:03] Basically the same as the Puerto Rican flag.
[01:14:06] But Texas also had six different flags.
[01:14:23] We never talk about the six flags we went to in a New Orleans.
[01:14:33] If you go to New Orleans, it was destroyed by Katrina in the ninth war.
[01:14:38] It's like, it's like a silent hill like ghost town.
[01:14:41] It's like a zombie amusement park with all these graffiti and you can go in like the
[01:14:47] No, no, it's like a abandoned property and the police.
[01:14:53] There's not like vagrants and shit living in the six flags.
[01:14:54] There might be, you know, but it's like New Orleans, you know, this got to be people squat
[01:15:01] Well, our favorite part of the trip was like, was there walking to the park?
[01:15:03] There's like, some people don't like check how to draw swastika before they go out.
[01:15:10] So we go through the park and there's all these fucked up swastikas until we get to
[01:15:13] the end of the park and then there's one that was done right.
[01:15:16] And so there's like a guy that has a memory of the day he went to six flags and learned
[01:15:25] There was an abandoned, like mental institution.
[01:15:29] And in Maryland, in Glendale, Maryland.
[01:15:31] Oh, there's one in New Jersey they just demolished.
[01:15:33] Well, when I was a teenager, people were like, we're going to go do shrooms and go to the
[01:15:46] No, it was my shrooms at night, it was too skinny.
[01:15:51] Talking about it's haunted and you could hear noises in the building.
[01:15:55] Well, they would go ghost hunting and like, you know, but you think about, you know,
[01:16:00] That's just homeless people trying to sleep.
[01:16:01] It's a bunch of fucked up teenagers being like, we're not afraid of you ghost.
[01:16:10] Would you ever believe that in real life ghost hunting?
[01:16:12] I ain't afraid of no ghosts is how you say it.
[01:16:15] We're ghost hunting just spray painting a swivet.
[01:16:18] What if that's what female Ghostbusters was?
[01:16:21] They're just murdering vagrants and claiming to be killing ghosts.
[01:16:26] I like that now that Hillary lost that's all young girls have to fall back on his ghost
[01:16:35] Now what choices do women have besides ghost busting?
[01:16:40] There hasn't been any recent female successes.
[01:16:44] I can't believe any exist unless I see one.
[01:16:48] Your girl's going to be secretary of state.
[01:16:55] That's why we're talking these praising Tulsi gabbard.
[01:16:56] No, that's what people are saying on election night.
[01:16:58] They're like, yeah, there's this lady from Hawaii saying how great Tulsi gabbard is.
[01:17:03] Now she's going to be the socialist hero in 2020.
[01:17:06] And now she's Trump's pick for secretary of state.
[01:17:10] She's an Indian nationalist and supports like Modi and who committed some kind of genocide
[01:17:15] or at least had some tacit involvement in it.
[01:17:21] And she was potentially part of a cult for a very long time.
[01:17:25] So some cult, like some Hindu cult in Hawaii with some weird leader.
[01:17:32] And then her dad was part of like, she was part of a political dynasty and her dad was
[01:17:39] And so she was like protesting gay rights.
[01:17:45] You see Hillary's videos of her when they asked her about gay marriage, her greatest
[01:17:51] Do you think that gay children, which is I know.
[01:17:57] Between a man, she's actually saying that shit.
[01:17:59] And that in a nutshell, by the way, has.
[01:18:01] She didn't turn around until 2012, but.
[01:18:05] But to say my faith and I think it's sacred.
[01:18:10] You don't got to throw that into court Christians.
[01:18:16] Like, you're probably stupid enough to think it's my faith, right?
[01:18:19] The only people with like millions and millions of dollars that are actually Christians
[01:18:24] I really don't think any rich people actually fucking really believe in God.
[01:18:34] I mean, in an outburger, that's the reason that place is even good is because the guy's
[01:18:37] a cuckoo Christian and he's like to a false group, he was like, he makes it.
[01:18:49] But the guy would make, he would stand over it like he makes sure people got paid right.
[01:18:53] They pay very well for being what it is.
[01:18:59] That's a Christian guy's Christianity working out.
[01:19:02] I think people are easy to forget that homophobia was pretty fucking prevalent until literally
[01:19:14] The fact that people getting mad at Castro, they're like, oh, Castro threw gay people
[01:19:19] Like, yeah, I mean, so did we, so did a lot of fucking people.
[01:19:26] And it's like, in the context of all the things he did.
[01:19:31] If the thing of Castro just even like having a shay shirt.
[01:19:36] The thing of hate homicide, they hated artists.
[01:19:38] That's why I love seeing artists like love fucking shake.
[01:19:42] They didn't like, this is the dumbest part of any of that marks his shit is that how
[01:19:47] they value labor, like the amount of labor that goes into something determines the value.
[01:19:52] So you as a comedian, that's not as worth as much as a guy who digs ditches.
[01:20:01] So that's where gays are because gays are in the arts traditionally quite, you know.
[01:20:06] There's a tweet from a couple of years ago.
[01:20:08] And I can't remember who fucking did it.
[01:20:16] In the future, Marxist paradise, my asthma and physical size will exempt me from any
[01:20:23] Instead my role will be anime appraiser.
[01:20:30] So these nerds always fantasize and then a strong man takes it from him.
[01:20:39] I was a Russell Brand on Netflix doing his eat the rich video.
[01:20:43] You know, have you seen Russell Brands?
[01:20:53] So he's like he's showing this guy in a bank like cleaning the windows.
[01:20:57] He goes, why does the president of the bank make millions but the one who cleans it makes
[01:21:08] Did you just say why does he have to have a living wage?
[01:21:14] I think like you can't forget why the president of the bank makes more than the squeegee guy.
[01:21:20] Now also what I love about Britain too is I found this out like when they approved whatever
[01:21:25] that funding is to make Buckingham Palace more policy.
[01:21:28] They're just like investing more money to make it like even nicer than it already is.
[01:21:34] And there's people that are British socialists, royalists where they're socialists, but they're
[01:21:40] also royalists and that they love the queen and things like the queen should have all
[01:21:48] Someone told me it really only cost them like a dollar a piece or something that people
[01:21:52] and the tourism and the shit that it generates is actually quite a lot from just people showing
[01:21:57] it up that goes into all their bloated welfare state.
[01:22:03] I would love it if Trump grabbed the queen on the pussy.
[01:22:08] You know what I would love for with Britain.
[01:22:13] I wanted to swear in on a pussy is what I want to fuck in.
[01:22:20] We were like, he's definitely a rapist from that.
[01:22:24] I mean, I can say it's not everybody said shit like that.
[01:22:28] And like all the guys online, they're like, it's an insult to men to say that all men
[01:22:32] haven't said some shit like that or it said shit like that.
[01:22:39] Well, it's also just the way he said it that's creepy.
[01:22:42] It might not come naturally to you, but you've said it trying to fit in in some sort of
[01:22:46] course because you want to present yourself as a guy.
[01:22:48] And you know what the most damning thing about that was that he was a guy trying to impress
[01:22:56] You know, I mean, it's pretty obvious to me.
[01:22:59] And I don't understand the but that's the hysteria.
[01:23:03] There's a generational thing where it's like words are actions now.
[01:23:08] So it's amazing that Trump like Hillary, whose actions were fucking like racist, all that
[01:23:15] All the Clintons fucking hand you work that these kids are now protesting and pretending
[01:23:27] You think super predators and he's the fucking but because now they believe that that's everything
[01:23:32] it's become completely there's like no contacts, I guess now.
[01:23:52] So I kind of pretty much jumps everything.
[01:23:56] I kind of want I want a Schindler factory.
[01:24:00] I'm a slaver and then I get to be a hero in the end after I exploit them for years.
[01:24:13] That's what that end you take everything.
[01:24:17] That's what the end part of that movie was.
[01:24:18] He said, I'm going to give him this ring.
[01:24:20] DC like Obama's really got to hurry up if he wants to be the antichrist at home.
[01:24:26] He really fucking put it off to the last possible second.
[01:24:30] Well, we've done more than enough time.