[00:00:00] at all

[00:00:01] okay

[00:00:02] and the episode of started

[00:00:04] and he started by talking about the thing he wants to eat the most

[00:00:07] which is we're all going around saying what our favorite Thanksgiving foods are

[00:00:11] and he said a man's butthole

[00:00:14] uh... welcome to come down

[00:00:17] with this is a post-thang giving edition but little little you know maybe it's

[00:00:22] before who knows for us

[00:00:24] uh... i'm here is young stop roast the hard-dick god

[00:00:28] with uh...

[00:00:29] adam freeland nickel small and who

[00:00:32] for no don't do it but it's too late i've already

[00:00:35] and i thought people want i was going to say he's all finally not playing

[00:00:40] rather than

[00:00:41] and as i was about to say it this motherfucker picked up the controller

[00:00:45] the people want this

[00:00:46] no one wants this man receiving numerous

[00:00:49] he stopped playing video games for people say what we do

[00:00:52] not get people saying please if there's anything i want

[00:00:56] it's a new play more red dead redemption at least turn the volume on not think

[00:01:01] about at least shut the i'm sitting next to your fucking tower speaker i want to

[00:01:05] bullet shots in my ear

[00:01:06] come on at him let's listen let's hear that can now you're being now you're being

[00:01:10] fucking a bit you know i don't know i'm afraid of the speaker that i don't like

[00:01:15] the

[00:01:16] i don't like the sounds of war

[00:01:18] when you use the play battle field it like it like full dolby like

[00:01:22] ten point one

[00:01:23] surround sound suck around so yeah get them

[00:01:27] you're back and

[00:01:28] suck around sound take that take that doleby

[00:01:31] yeah

[00:01:33] not getting told that i don't feel a little special

[00:01:36] yes doleby

[00:01:39] come on at him we were we were united by the playing video game and i'm going to

[00:01:43] talk about saying

[00:01:44] wait you were you were pro video games until i said i was anti and then you

[00:01:49] start talking about sound like a bitch

[00:01:51] it's just in my ear right now okay come on this is bad radio let's uh...

[00:01:56] let's welcome our guest in old friend of the pot

[00:01:59] that's not already said don't come on i love the sound

[00:02:03] yeah we're making a sit on the floor

[00:02:06] there's not enough seating yeah you're making a big out of a dog ball to what

[00:02:10] is that you got a bean bag chair

[00:02:12] which uh... i love it to make some feel youthful and good

[00:02:15] he-huh i love the bean bag like i'm not thirty

[00:02:18] yeah it's very comfortable

[00:02:20] how do you mean

[00:02:22] i'm thirty three

[00:02:23] hilarious

[00:02:24] that is a

[00:02:27] and

[00:02:29] remember when you said you were an eight what did you say that you're hot

[00:02:33] do you still believe that

[00:02:34] and you're going to be a sense of every fucking day

[00:02:37] i thought you believe it

[00:02:38] i get fucking hotter by the minute motherfucker

[00:02:42] you will this is the best you that you actually truly believe that

[00:02:46] you have any how many brings you wearing right now

[00:02:48] uh... for your rank for five if you include the concrete nice

[00:02:53] every time i see you i feel like you're wearing another ring yeah i just got a

[00:02:56] new one

[00:02:57] the woman fingering yourself and says pleasure is power

[00:03:00] no is it really uh-huh would you get it actually wearing that as a

[00:03:03] yeah yeah yeah i got it

[00:03:05] that's such as art

[00:03:07] it's not a ball that's like stick dude

[00:03:09] yet

[00:03:10] throw it away

[00:03:11] now where

[00:03:12] i'll wear it powerful

[00:03:13] stars fingers are too big

[00:03:15] you know what i'll take this is mine now usually where you should get that

[00:03:18] ring dude i will wear that pinky ring you look fucking dope

[00:03:22] i do have a pink you're doing do you want to wear it

[00:03:25] is not this one podcasting dude

[00:03:27] i have to stay limber that's true

[00:03:29] i don't need to know my fingers and i'm working right now yeah and the reason

[00:03:32] you don't have a career is because you wear your rings at the wrong time

[00:03:35] yes

[00:03:35] likely

[00:03:36] why should i wear the ring we do a ceremonial removing of the rings before

[00:03:39] we pot each other

[00:03:41] and i'm fucking

[00:03:42] the last time you were on the issue of this is a good rumor going around the

[00:03:45] last time you did niki show you showed up wearing like four five

[00:03:48] rings and then completely nude

[00:03:50] and the president is serious is like does this guy not know what fucking does he

[00:03:55] know no clothes

[00:03:56] yeah

[00:03:56] i'm there to be like yeah he never learned clothes wouldn't insult and then

[00:04:01] people said make sure this guy gets fired from yeah i thought i was supposed to

[00:04:05] wear no clothes all ring make sure this guy gets fired from comedy

[00:04:08] yeah

[00:04:09] and word went around and i was one of the only comedians in the york that was

[00:04:13] like i refuse to do that too that's right thank you nik i appreciate that man

[00:04:17] everyone else is standing up for me yeah

[00:04:19] shoot this horse in the face uh jota rosa was like i can't wait to get him

[00:04:23] fired

[00:04:24] i honestly i cannot wait for him to be fired

[00:04:28] dude when i hit the stand i walked in jota rosa was drug was like lui

[00:04:32] lui cats and refuse to believe that i wasn't lui cats

[00:04:37] you don't even look that much like lui yeah he's just being in a way smaller

[00:04:42] yeah you're ugly or lui's much cuter than you get the fuck out of here he is

[00:04:45] he is you got true yeah intrinsically he doesn't have a fucked up clown mop

[00:04:50] yeah head of hair shut the fuck up don't insult him in hairs yeah

[00:04:55] why i have beautiful hair i just cut it close yeah it was real hot is that uh

[00:04:59] you're like a flat chesty girl saying yeah you're a titzer ugly

[00:05:03] shut the fucking freak fuck up ugly titta fuck up i love when i love when

[00:05:07] two glitz and bottles shut up all that like at least i know my tits are gonna be

[00:05:11] in 50 years it's like yeah buy themselves not being touched

[00:05:15] it's a big sweet can is it yeah may have had the effects of gravity but that

[00:05:20] just means you respect them more because they've been huge for so long

[00:05:24] so true i would like to say fuck both adam and

[00:05:27] i feel like this has been a real hostile episode we're all firing shots

[00:05:32] yeah it has been that's why people tune in let's come together let's all go

[00:05:35] anything hostile i said yeah and it took up for me for being naked

[00:05:38] it's serious yeah forget it fired from shoes for being too

[00:05:41] gay let's all go around and say something we're grateful for adam

[00:05:45] i want to go last motherfucker don't ever come on the show yeah don't give us

[00:05:49] subjects here's what you know what though just

[00:05:52] i'm grateful you got molested at some point

[00:05:56] why are you great you because it would have been so much more boring you just

[00:05:59] been a regular gay guy if you know i'm grateful for red dead redemption

[00:06:04] that's true uh amen brother my life

[00:06:10] no this is ruining it this is the last thing you're gonna do before you kill

[00:06:13] yourself no we're nik is getting back into baseball too

[00:06:17] yeah i see errant balls on a bat what is errant mean well me and me and adam

[00:06:21] went to the park when we were uh you just learned the word errant yeah

[00:06:25] where is this one? why did you hear the word errant? he is getting into the dish

[00:06:28] you gotta get to do it new words yeah i've decided to learn the english language

[00:06:33] it's so nice to have an even gayer guy on the podcast

[00:06:37] hey i feel so good what's up bitch um yeah we went to prospect through the

[00:06:44] ball around that was great oh man i want to have a catch

[00:06:47] do you have a glove yeah i have a glove i have a bat

[00:06:50] we got a bat i have a desire to have a catch

[00:06:53] we were just two you know 30 year old men playing go to the batting

[00:06:57] kitchen place i saw you we thought we saw you cruising for

[00:07:01] dick in the park there's a guy walking around

[00:07:05] staring at everybody i like to smile the dugout

[00:07:09] hey it's a beautiful day out what's going on you coming to the park often

[00:07:13] hey bro i actually made that joke i thought yeah i thought i thought

[00:07:18] i think that's the outcome i had to clarify that he made a joke

[00:07:22] that's good no i didn't mean that it's good to know that adam made no

[00:07:27] come on it's good that you stopped the momentum yeah yeah yeah i actually

[00:07:31] actually i made the joke i made a worse version of this joke actually

[00:07:34] read 24 p.m. do something worse please do something

[00:07:37] i pointed a guy that looked like Ian deflect deflect

[00:07:40] it's all like Ian please please please please pop

[00:07:42] pop for me guys pop for me listen i'm on the levels

[00:07:45] and we're doing a lot of talking over so until further notice adam don't say

[00:07:49] anything to the rest of the podcast you too Ian unless we ask you a question

[00:07:54] about you being gay damn that bullet went right through his

[00:07:56] spine there should be like no story to this i think

[00:08:01] should remove all the story missions they upgrade or update

[00:08:06] the game take all of the story out of it have you not done a single mission

[00:08:09] i've done like enough that i need to to get to further my my clothing make

[00:08:14] keep buying pelts nigga yeah nigga loves making fucking hats out of

[00:08:19] fox pelts yeah i was like what are what are the missions he's like i don't do

[00:08:23] missions i just pick berries because that's what i would do if i was

[00:08:26] living that yeah no i mean i wouldn't be like helping some dumb

[00:08:29] bitch finder kid who's at you 98 you better believe i would just be

[00:08:35] riding around collecting things mhm imagine how easy it was dev autism

[00:08:40] back then none of the hobbies cost money nope

[00:08:43] you just go around and kill animals yeah like skin or raccoon i got all of them

[00:08:47] i got i got all of them look at every piece of sin you i'm a

[00:08:50] completist that's right oh shit i'm sorry dude

[00:08:54] damn shoot this guy yeah he's dead i'm sorry kill the horse

[00:08:57] Ian what's the last video game you played this one earlier today oh yeah

[00:09:01] here yeah he played it here and then before that i got

[00:09:06] arkham city for you figured out xbox 360

[00:09:10] and played it obsessively and opened the windows and had a fan system in my

[00:09:13] apartment and smoked cigarettes and played in for like 12 hours a day

[00:09:18] arkham what was it arkham asylum arkham city

[00:09:22] arkham city dude i called out of shows i i wrote i

[00:09:26] called out of plans with res was like oh i'm sick and i just like fucking

[00:09:30] played it and i'm so and they just like hang up the phone the club like

[00:09:33] Ian's having gay sex

[00:09:39] poor guy i hope he stays bug free after this bender

[00:09:44] this cock bender he's on

[00:09:47] caught the bug again oh fuck dude i can't play video oh

[00:09:55] fucking i had toon blast on my phone and i was obsessively playing it

[00:10:01] it's like candy crush but with cartoons nice i was just playing it until 5 a.m.

[00:10:05] starting like that if you blow someone's head off with the shock on their head

[00:10:08] disappears that's pretty tight yeah that's good why are you wearing that

[00:10:13] k k k k style mask i like he looks like come on dude

[00:10:19] frontier Isis there we go Ian that's a good one man he looks like frontier

[00:10:24] Isis that was good yeah look at this guy though his head

[00:10:28] that bid in jango about the masks the eyeholes not being good is so funny

[00:10:33] yeah it was pretty fun yeah i thought that was dumb

[00:10:35] that you did yeah it seemed kind of obvious i thought it was pretty fun it was

[00:10:40] fun it wasn't you know they weren't doing anything

[00:10:43] crazy he's gone i think oh he didn't call five so i'm taking his beanbag

[00:10:47] there's no fives Ian yeah do five 33 year old man this town

[00:10:52] this town's filled with rednecks that don't like me much like

[00:10:58] much like most of brooklyn i hate all these brooklyn rednecks

[00:11:01] mm-hmm he's fucking brooklyn hillbilly

[00:11:04] that was such a 2012 was such a fun a year in this town

[00:11:08] when it's like you lived in it in i see no i lived in

[00:11:13] Chinatown all right 2013 wait why good good job pointing that out

[00:11:19] sorry he's on fire very very from downtown i just

[00:11:25] wait wait hold on it's quick yeah it keeps pulling the emergency

[00:11:30] break people rely on us for fast

[00:11:34] um all right so where why was it weird oh yeah oh just when that like

[00:11:40] lumberjack thing was going on i think it's still sort of going

[00:11:44] yeah yeah i mean i it was it made sense in Texas kind of

[00:11:48] at least the pearl snaps or whatever mm-hmm when i live there but yeah people

[00:11:52] wearing flannels and shit and beard right yeah that's why i don't have a

[00:11:57] beard because i don't want to be one of those guys yeah me too

[00:11:59] i mean i'm sure new genetics and i'll be one of those guys

[00:12:02] i don't know i'm just having a beard when i thought i was dying

[00:12:06] yeah i just grew a giant beard you didn't have that fucked up the

[00:12:09] fishy fishy beard you're a mountain-nierst and fat yeah

[00:12:13] it was a funny you had a funny punch going on

[00:12:16] you looked like you were dying of AIDS actually well the punch was just left

[00:12:19] over from drinking right right and then i moved here and i lost

[00:12:23] weight but i kept the punch that's a cute look it is a good look that's why i

[00:12:27] like this game because it's all about looks skinny fat aesthetic yeah

[00:12:31] uh partner do you know where one could acquire some

[00:12:36] skinny jeans excuse me partner or is your i'm looking for your skinny

[00:12:43] jeans where's your where's your finest amber crumpy and

[00:12:46] fits where are the skinny is dungarees that a man could acquire

[00:12:51] partner i'm trying to get to rainbow plus i'm looking for a gingham top

[00:12:56] yeah um what's the deal with this pod save america

[00:13:00] thing what uh their token conservative did like uh

[00:13:06] it was hired by facebook to do consulting and then he recommended that's a

[00:13:11] that they blame soros for their job you like that that's good his

[00:13:14] fit is totally missing he's gone i keep getting comfortable and then

[00:13:18] cool things happen on the screen check it out just chill out Ian stop yeah

[00:13:23] you know Ian just show you being kind of a fucking asshole and just

[00:13:26] shut the fuck up for you guys are right thanks for coming in

[00:13:32] show about it you take my side of with a guest that's your problem dude you

[00:13:37] keep going against the family you're afraid oh dude yeah you did that at

[00:13:42] the live show too you're afraid of if i've ever seen one i'm

[00:13:44] obviously sunny because i'm powerful and i'm too

[00:13:47] fucking i can't be rained in and i'll probably die the earliest

[00:13:52] in late huh who's gonna die like it where you were looking for a big laugh

[00:14:00] for that one dude i'm the sis asker ball

[00:14:04] Ian said let's ask your balls then he held the microphone to my balls guys

[00:14:08] he's doing physical bits you're not on stage you can't hide your horrible

[00:14:13] writing with fucking dumb physical ticks oh were you

[00:14:17] funny most uh-huh Ian was at the live show no is that what you're saying

[00:14:23] no what the fuck Adam i was gonna be sorry

[00:14:25] making fun of him for bombing generally not at a specific show shut up stop

[00:14:29] making fun of Ian oh yeah well okay good Adam you need to settle down

[00:14:34] you need to settle down you're being freido right now all right i'm not

[00:14:37] freido dude i'm the sister i'm the sister who keeps getting beaten by her

[00:14:41] alcom you are her you're her and freido actually i'm

[00:14:43] michael you're freido i'm not michael you're not even in the family

[00:14:48] you're uh i'm tom haker today is my daughter's wedding

[00:14:52] uh-huh that's good keep going else dude

[00:14:56] to tell you wouldn't need a favor

[00:15:01] that's really good that's good dude that's a good grant i would like to do a

[00:15:05] favor for anyone that our father has to be like the easiest

[00:15:09] impression to do you're so far off you're so not even

[00:15:14] anywhere near close you do it you do it to a marlin brand new tuition i mean i

[00:15:19] can approximate it do it look up to be all this

[00:15:22] today my daughter yeah yeah it's at least sort of there all right here i'll do it

[00:15:26] for real do it for real you come to me today on

[00:15:30] my daughter's

[00:15:31] i was a fucking chinese and retarded also

[00:15:35] to come to me today on the day of fucking moving

[00:15:39] ah you come to me on my daughter's wedding day

[00:15:42] there we go let's get different now we're getting into the meat of the show

[00:15:46] different types of the godfather ah you you want a favor

[00:15:54] why is my daughter birthday he called me he said why can't why can't we go why

[00:15:59] why can't i have extra it's like why will do that

[00:16:05] you never you have never even come to dinner and now you ask me

[00:16:10] for this oh why you want favor free rondry yes yes

[00:16:16] put the button on it

[00:16:19] but at that that that that there is there is

[00:16:25] literally that was that was three seconds he couldn't wait

[00:16:28] he couldn't even just wait we were gonna start talking and you didn't even give

[00:16:32] us time to talk before you started sweating

[00:16:37] pull the rip court now

[00:16:43] oh fuck um so yeah what else is going on fellas oh i had something i had i took

[00:16:50] i took a note oh i had a bunch of shit and then i forgot

[00:16:54] because you keep playing fucking red dead without just killing people in this

[00:16:57] game you're not even picking berries yeah i'm not doing the

[00:17:01] story now i lost your objective i got into

[00:17:04] shooting people in the face with a shotgun try to make more um

[00:17:10] no here we go what's that what's that go ahead alcohol

[00:17:14] what's that moonshine moonshine try to make more moonshine

[00:17:18] um yeah fuck you yeah get fucked up in the game here we go yeah

[00:17:24] you two you guys just got would you do that a video game where you get to do

[00:17:28] cocaine in it would like to give you kind of a fix

[00:17:32] you can like live in that world where your character is doing coke but only if

[00:17:36] then i could go and just get my dick sucked a bunch

[00:17:40] in exchange for sucking dick wait in the game run real life

[00:17:45] real life

[00:17:48] you would only play a game where you do cocaine and you can't suck dick in real life

[00:17:52] okay

[00:17:54] that's the only way you play that game

[00:17:59] all right good to know man okay a video game here my demand here my demand

[00:18:04] oh sir there's not really a game stop it's not really a demand thing

[00:18:09] you're playing the game where you don't it's sixty two dollars sir you're gonna

[00:18:14] let me suck your cock away

[00:18:19] a brooklem has been arrested after raping a 17 year old game stop employee

[00:18:23] before holding him down time doesn't even have a game

[00:18:27] comes up understanding he was giving me mixing goals

[00:18:33] boom chocolate

[00:18:37] that is such a funny kind of rape sucking a man sucking his boys dick while he's

[00:18:42] crying jesus that's what you would be doing

[00:18:46] no he ends up set by that because he's gotten so close to it

[00:18:51] getting so close to that reality really hits home

[00:18:55] damn you really are blessed how many innocent civilians have you killed

[00:18:58] i don't know well hold on here innocent

[00:19:02] i don't know west there is in the west everyone's guilty

[00:19:04] innocent in the west damn that's a lot of red dots brother

[00:19:08] innocence is is a myth you come to the frontier

[00:19:12] you're part of nature nature has no rules baby

[00:19:16] no rules just right just right second mentality that created the blooming

[00:19:20] onion the greatest food

[00:19:24] ever i don't know that of the libertarian wilderness of australia came the

[00:19:30] blooming onion

[00:19:31] bull uh oh

[00:19:33] um okay ready here's the fuck here's the thing i wanted to bring up

[00:19:36] i saw this video baby it's not really you know not really you

[00:19:41] and so just wait for everyone else to weigh in

[00:19:43] while we get in the big these gunshots go away

[00:19:45] um i saw a video on facebook of when he the uh child with terrible paulsy

[00:19:52] uh i'm less than getting getting snuggled by

[00:19:55] like he was at disney world and a guy in a when he the pukas tomb

[00:19:59] was like they were like petting the it was like a baby and it was so it

[00:20:03] loved when he the poo and it was just spent like 10 minutes just like

[00:20:06] caressing this baby with terrible paulsy and he was in the way the pukas

[00:20:11] him and i think isn't this the best way to use pedophiles

[00:20:16] because they get jobs working with children that's genius but here's the

[00:20:20] thing here's the thing yeah i hear about you monitor them

[00:20:23] but they're behind that thick-ass mascot look if we're just going to use pedophiles

[00:20:28] why don't we use them as a big wall paul yeah they're hard sure they're hard

[00:20:32] under there but who cares the kid is receiving love

[00:20:35] and calm can't penetrate that that yes you make it an impenetrable

[00:20:39] layer is a fur without calm you sew them into it so they can't get up

[00:20:44] teflon the inside and if you're trying to be a child it's kind of like petting

[00:20:48] them no there will be no dry-humping they're well and i'm not into it

[00:20:51] all right but i'm sorry to use pedophiles is the way we're already using them is

[00:20:56] like people that rape bus driver sex with in prison

[00:20:59] mmm gotcha well that could be i'm saying out on the outside

[00:21:04] on the inside yes they get to be pocket pussies for

[00:21:08] for murderers and that sort of thing but on the on the outside

[00:21:11] throw them in a thick mascot and let them let them pet uh you know

[00:21:15] retarded kid with down syndrome yeah what's the variable palsy i thought

[00:21:20] yeah but it's got more than one application at him

[00:21:23] i saw another video of a cerebral palsy kid draining three pointers

[00:21:27] really and someone the only one i saw was because someone tagged

[00:21:32] someone tagged both you and i on it

[00:21:35] and on instagram it kind of made me feel bad like that's the place i have in

[00:21:40] the world damn i mentioned oh my god you just shot a space off

[00:21:44] wow dude you're really killing these people

[00:21:47] don't you feel remorse i love the juxtaposition of talking about kids with

[00:21:50] cerebral palsy solving pedophilia and having been looking at their fake job

[00:21:55] yeah it would be sick if i could do this in real life

[00:21:59] this is so satisfying and i've been i've been playing these kinds of games for a

[00:22:04] long time but this one in particular why murdering the

[00:22:07] shit out of people is what makes this different than grant

[00:22:11] after all it's it's the same but it's in the old west

[00:22:15] yeah but why is this more satisfying than grant after all i don't know just like

[00:22:19] the physics of how people's heads get blown the fuck off or better

[00:22:22] nichol so you know he like he wants to be in nature he wants to be one with the

[00:22:26] world yeah yeah yeah hmm interesting i like the idea of

[00:22:30] being in a cabin pick a bear going in the woods and

[00:22:34] only coming in to punish society

[00:22:41] yeah what is i didn't read walden but if there's a part in there where uh

[00:22:45] he goes into town and murders everyone did that guy fuck kids

[00:22:49] the guy that wrote walden a roadman a road

[00:22:51] the road no Whitman the road no Whitman the road

[00:22:55] yeah what about well well Whitman fucked kids Henry David

[00:22:58] the road yeah all women fuck any suck that would be his drag queen name

[00:23:02] yeah well women definitely all women touch kids oh yeah

[00:23:08] uh big time interesting my man loved that little

[00:23:13] that little freaking prickadillo yeah that little unripe and a little unripe

[00:23:18] and uh what are we gonna ask Adam what's the what's the small what's the small

[00:23:23] kind of banana plant plantain those are big bananas

[00:23:26] what's the small one uh it's been there just called baby bananas

[00:23:30] no they're called something else no they're not

[00:23:32] Blatanos it's not a Blatanos Blatanos anyway he wants it on Adam

[00:23:36] trying to speak Spanish again stop code switching dude

[00:23:41] you know you know my voice that i use around

[00:23:44] latin yeah yeah yeah latin next people latin next

[00:23:48] string yeah i can't ride the sixth train

[00:23:52] without uh just going full with sub brother full-demand economy

[00:23:57] yeah just start playing daddy Yankee off your phone daddy janky actually that's

[00:24:02] how we say so gonna be in his fucking my ass when i'm

[00:24:05] fucking gay daddy thank thank you for having so much

[00:24:08] gay

[00:24:11] thank you thank you for having me

[00:24:16] and these thanks giving i want to thank you for

[00:24:21] getting fucked in my eyes speaking of the old west and gay being gay

[00:24:25] Ian did you ever see book back mountain do you think that's a good movie

[00:24:28] now bro i lived it you lived it i thought it was just boring

[00:24:33] beat off in public with a cowboy hat on doesn't mean you lived broke back

[00:24:37] mountain have you ever had sex with a cowboy hat on

[00:24:40] Ian uh no i've never fucked Dustin chafe

[00:24:45] have you ever put good one a lot of people know who Dustin is man thank you

[00:24:49] um have you ever have you ever uh have you ever

[00:24:54] dressed up or worn a costume to fuck what no oh that's ridiculous yeah i mean

[00:25:00] like roleplay you think that the way you fuck you just

[00:25:04] often wears a costume to leave his hat every day

[00:25:13] do you ever take your glasses nose and mustache off the fuck all in one fell

[00:25:17] swoop shut up you fucking toothless monster no i haven't ever

[00:25:21] played a hey oh i didn't realize you were wearing a

[00:25:24] mighty mighty boss tone shirt yeah that's right

[00:25:28] are you judging me because that's why i didn't know you like sell out

[00:25:31] stuff

[00:25:34] uh that was so much fun or anything else because i was like what's that

[00:25:38] hey hey that's off to you hey thank you no i missed it

[00:25:42] yeah i missed it too he earned his uh what is it called when you

[00:25:46] stripes yeah when you're worried when you're a valuable asset

[00:25:51] when you're when you're uh making up for the fact that you're holding a

[00:25:55] microphone and taking up precious air

[00:26:00] what did you say i i've never uh put the mic closer to your

[00:26:04] body i didn't realize you were wearing a mighty mighty boss tone shirt

[00:26:08] they said are you making fun of me because that's the impression

[00:26:12] that's good oh yeah nice man uh no i've never

[00:26:17] fucking dressed up in i i'm just a regular dude that just likes regular

[00:26:21] fucking yeah okay that's just me all right let me rephrase

[00:26:25] then rephrase have you ever ate a trans uh sex workers ass after drinking

[00:26:31] rubbing alcohol hand sanitizer uh yeah he's already said he is

[00:26:37] well that's what i'm saying he acted like i said something ridiculous

[00:26:41] no then he might wear a fucking little hat i fucking drank hand sanitizer

[00:26:45] and then went home to my ex girlfriend all right

[00:26:49] they couldn't be with myself what's her name what's her name what's she do

[00:26:52] what's like her first and last name yeah let's talk sir no dude i uh

[00:26:57] what should we call it no i i never dressed up or anything

[00:27:04] i uh i don't know i think about buying some batting cages is a business

[00:27:08] that's a good idea yeah at first i you get to run it first i

[00:27:12] thumbed my nose at the idea i said hey your own idea

[00:27:16] buttons with that when you brought it up to yourself yeah

[00:27:19] well now someone else brought it up to me and i thought that's got to be

[00:27:23] extremely cost prohibitive and it is mm-hmm but my new thing now is

[00:27:27] is money pits yeah i love that you know i'm saying yeah

[00:27:29] oh you should get bad investments yeah a laser tag facility yes that would

[00:27:34] be real guns that's the thing everybody hates about laser tags is it's

[00:27:39] fake is shit yep mhm you come in here you better be a

[00:27:42] fucking warrior it'd be nice if you could sign a contract where it's like yeah

[00:27:46] i understand that if i go in this place i'll die

[00:27:49] you know how much like suicide you could avoid

[00:27:51] and mass shootings if you could if people could pay like

[00:27:56] because it would only be for rich people yeah so you would have to pay like

[00:27:59] five thousand dollars and then it's like a uh uh 17 square mile facility i like

[00:28:05] that actually yeah and you get a bunch of school shooters like Montana to go

[00:28:08] up against each other and the last man standing

[00:28:11] for the rest of his life is legally allowed to look at child pornography

[00:28:14] yeah

[00:28:18] oh my god that would be awesome and this is i didn't see the purge but if this

[00:28:22] is the plot of the purge that is it's the hunger against the best movie that

[00:28:25] means it's the hunger for little boys ass games

[00:28:29] yeah purging the hard drive also me and stop need to record our christmas

[00:28:34] album i posted something on the patreon oh yeah and a lot of people DM me

[00:28:38] it's very nice i had no idea it's very nice of you to reach out but when i say

[00:28:41] something like do any of you have a recording studio in new york what i

[00:28:45] don't need is a message it's like hey i'm not in new york i live in iran

[00:28:49] well i don't have a recording studio i do have an extra bedroom if you want to

[00:28:53] come here and record the podcast

[00:28:56] it's like okay two criteria here new york city recording studio

[00:29:01] you ain't got that yeah please shut the fuck up and don't email yes

[00:29:05] we and we will be recording this in like two hours one take

[00:29:09] yeah there will be i think iran would be kind of cool to go to though

[00:29:12] please email adam with any unsolicited offers yeah i'm open to it

[00:29:17] okay do you want to email me and just say what's up and hey and you know you

[00:29:20] got you got something you made you want me to listen to for two seconds i'll do

[00:29:24] it but don't put in the subject line recording studio

[00:29:28] and i read it and you live in fucking Birmingham

[00:29:31] because i got i got a very limited time here

[00:29:35] i love i'm about 40 hours in the red dead redemption

[00:29:39] really gotten maybe five percent yes i've

[00:29:43] fucking you better believe that i'm going to be wearing every outfit

[00:29:47] he's made every piece of clothing before i even begin the story i'm going to be

[00:29:51] looking dapper is shit yep get weird as long as i can get

[00:29:54] wearing squirrel socks wearing squirrel socks

[00:29:57] uh a cumber bun made out of fucking fox pussy hair yes

[00:30:02] all that kind of shit an elephant tusk i fucking love

[00:30:06] uh is nuts come town fans because i've started to get messages on grinder

[00:30:13] that go uh uh e in finance and i go yes and they go

[00:30:18] go back on come town on grinder yeah yeah well

[00:30:22] this is Adam so happy i better sign up i better sign up

[00:30:27] safety net

[00:30:29] although i can convince myself that this is still a socialist podcast

[00:30:35] if it's gay then it is yeah it's yeah that's the most socialist thing

[00:30:39] first of all being gay i'm just trying to find some hot gals

[00:30:45] final season of come town 2019 is a fin goth podcast

[00:30:49] mm-hmm now let's see your fin goth your financial goth

[00:30:52] what is that nixon to investments and being goth

[00:30:56] it's like when you're you're like so sad that you have to lose lots of money

[00:31:00] to feel on leverage it's cutting yeah losing

[00:31:04] what he is yeah yeah like going down

[00:31:07] it's like slicing the arms yeah like there's a forum for guys like me my

[00:31:13] avatar is that scene where the joker's burning all the money

[00:31:16] that's cool that's awesome dude that's my ideology is

[00:31:21] the joker burning all the mob that's cool no but it's it's the guy for the

[00:31:24] curious face you know when you know when people you

[00:31:27] know i don't know you saw that chipotle thing there was like

[00:31:30] some black teenagers in chipotle and the moment's like anytime you come in here

[00:31:33] you don't have money and they're like wow oh my god are you serious

[00:31:37] my twitter handle is well they recorded it and went viral and the woman got fired

[00:31:42] and then they went through the guy's tweets and he had all these tweets that

[00:31:44] are like cannot wait to steal from chipotle

[00:31:53] yeah that's why i get to see the thing is every teenager steals like from chipotle

[00:31:58] but especially the black ones all right that's the point stops right now

[00:32:02] though stop it is not what i think i get where you go stop saying that

[00:32:08] the black teens need i'm saying they should not have fired that lady

[00:32:12] at least you follow them early from a distance yeah until the police are

[00:32:16] awesar right

[00:32:19] is all stalks asking every chipotle needs the equivalent of uh air marshal

[00:32:24] it's a guy with a gun pretending pretending to eat a burrito

[00:32:28] and he's there just in case any black children get to rowdy and he has 14 to

[00:32:33] 18 pretty does it so the kid that posted the video he's on twitter and i found

[00:32:38] like a reply to one of his tweets from one of those like as a black person

[00:32:41] guys who which is like they're clearly not black right and somebody his account

[00:32:46] was uh the joker of new york also the joker of ny

[00:32:51] incredible because as an african-american male it's people like you that make us

[00:32:55] look bad or whatever and it's like you click on the profile it's clearly not

[00:32:59] a black guy yeah it's a white guy and joker make

[00:33:02] incredible which very joker move oh yeah yeah

[00:33:07] stirring discord in the black community that's so

[00:33:11] yeah kiwi the steel group jibot yeah that's awesome

[00:33:15] just 100% go deep because of his tweets like 100% oh my god and the girl the

[00:33:23] video was specifically like you come in here every day and you steal

[00:33:27] they're like no no no no they just called a racist which

[00:33:31] smart move on their part yeah that is how you defeat a manager that

[00:33:34] stops you from stealing well that was the final level of the scam because he

[00:33:38] figured you'd get free chipotle for the rest of his life yeah one of those gold

[00:33:41] cards which hey look if that's where he thought this was gonna end then

[00:33:44] fucking hats off respect to him honestly yeah

[00:33:48] he's he's the real last dude of the week yeah just uh the oceans 11 of

[00:33:53] Somali teenagers did you look Somali did he have that little

[00:33:57] f**k Somali face?

[00:33:59] I know that for a fact really yep so the only details I have like

[00:34:07] oh I don't know if you guys saw this there was this story the other day about

[00:34:10] while there was a woman from China and then a Puerto Rican man yeah

[00:34:16] and then something happened but then there was this guy who was uh I think

[00:34:20] uh Taiwanese yeah and also there was a Chilean person there and the Nigerian

[00:34:26] man you also like what happened in the story I have no I don't know but here's

[00:34:30] the circumference of all their skulls yeah here's the resonant freak

[00:34:36] that I know the exact notes I need to play

[00:34:43] on a harpsichord to shatter a Taiwanese skull

[00:34:49] bug

[00:34:53] yeah shut down to that kid stealing chipotle you'll get their pal

[00:34:56] yeah we believe in you they're gonna give her a job back on

[00:34:59] well yeah no chipotle is like oh after reviewing the situation in more

[00:35:03] and it's like I guess you can sue right uh I don't know depends on if it's like a

[00:35:07] right to work state or not she yeah she should get paid off that it's just

[00:35:12] bad PR though for Chipotle that's it yeah they just did it because they didn't

[00:35:15] want to do it some shit minimum wage job but yeah I mean it's like chipotle

[00:35:19] clearly doesn't give a shit about the details it's like oh we want to protect

[00:35:22] ourselves or whatever but I it would be great if like all the chipotle

[00:35:25] managers were like oh I guess it's like let's just give free food away to people

[00:35:30] yeah today just to make sure that we're not

[00:35:33] that's good yeah take the take the initiative and give away millions of

[00:35:37] dollars worth of the company's revenue who cares yeah that's a good idea

[00:35:41] because then if then if they got in trouble for that then chipotle would

[00:35:44] have to admit that they only give a shit about the money

[00:35:48] mm-hmm and then free chipotle before because you dressed up like a burrito

[00:35:54] in halloween no because you you go uh do you guys

[00:35:57] give uh do you guys give nice smile discounts

[00:36:00] oh and then you use oh my god you've literally done that

[00:36:05] yeah yeah I listen to this disgusting or I swear to god

[00:36:09] people you do that so that's been all these discounts I swear on NPR you

[00:36:14] look okay yeah that's fucking silly try it

[00:36:17] no you know what you know it is a good way I scam I was thinking of the other

[00:36:21] day you're going to uh you're going to like cash businesses like pizza places

[00:36:25] and stuff like that and you guys it works you can go do it a main hat and

[00:36:28] wear there's a bunch of them just go one by one you go did anyone find

[00:36:31] twenty dollars and then you just keep doing that until one of them hands you

[00:36:36] twenty dollars nice because people are pulling cash out all the time someone's

[00:36:39] bound to drop something some dumb ass is gonna turn it over

[00:36:42] is that ever worked yeah I made I making eighty dollars

[00:36:46] an hour is assuming it yesterday I went into probably like four or five

[00:36:51] different places wound up with about six thousand dollars

[00:36:54] wow and they see you every day and they're never like

[00:36:58] yeah guys from point out hey you know I mean try it I was thinking about it and

[00:37:03] I thought that could work you just go into cash businesses and say did

[00:37:06] they even turn in twenty dollars yeah I lost 20 I was in here earlier I

[00:37:10] lost twenty dollars I'm a lot of foot traffic

[00:37:12] we're gonna do their cash I think what we should I think we're overthinking

[00:37:15] this if these black teams just got free Chipotle

[00:37:18] we put on fucking blackface we go to Chipotle yeah yeah yeah yeah

[00:37:21] yeah you're gracing that's why one of the Saudi Arabian social

[00:37:28] experiment videos social experiment that's right

[00:37:32] blackface Chipotle racism I think it would work

[00:37:36] um so what's actually now I want Chipotle

[00:37:39] yeah dude I haven't actually told you or me and your brother got in Baltimore

[00:37:44] that was the last time I got it was probably one up in Bushwick

[00:37:47] they they introduced uh melty cheese or like nacho cheese which I think is

[00:37:53] off the menu K so K so yeah it's bad I think if you're

[00:37:56] if you're a manager at any one of these places it gets accused of racism

[00:38:00] you should just take it upon yourself to to publicly announce a free

[00:38:04] merchandise for black people day mm-hmm and just give give away the company's

[00:38:09] money yeah just do it that'd be cool it would be cool

[00:38:13] and if they got mad at you then social media would protect you from getting

[00:38:17] fired yeah be like this was reparations yeah it's like no we're doing the right

[00:38:21] thing here we should do that let's become managers of

[00:38:24] fucking Chipotle's we should all right I'll do it will you

[00:38:30] do you think you could get you couldn't get that job no one would respect you

[00:38:33] mm-hmm hey you can only work jobs that involve a bicycle

[00:38:39] that's true yeah I'll be the Chipotle delivery guy

[00:38:42] they don't have those man they don't have fuck I'm screwed

[00:38:46] Postmates could you imagine like being being someone's boss

[00:38:49] I'm being like uh maybe the best boss dude yeah he could just get get one over

[00:38:55] on him all the time hey fuck you for sure

[00:38:57] that's a boss no hey fuck you hey I'm running late Ian no big deal I'll do

[00:39:03] all your work it's okay don't worry about coming in yeah

[00:39:06] oh my god you're right take the whole day on yeah

[00:39:10] you need money sick yeah I'll flow eight twenty dollars

[00:39:16] I was a boss on time where at uh for a construction company

[00:39:20] for a for a door-to-door home estimate thing you to go and get

[00:39:26] be able to sign up for free estimates for canvassing

[00:39:29] that's not that's not a real job yeah I was in charge of a crew of people

[00:39:33] going around being like hey we're in the neighborhood uh you guys need your

[00:39:36] roof checked out oh really and then you just give them an estimate that was

[00:39:40] like yeah bullshit yeah yeah and there was like a door-to-door bullshit so it

[00:39:44] was like a low estimate and then they actually start working and then you

[00:39:47] jack up the price is what was this scam the scam was that you

[00:39:51] tell them that someone's gonna be in the neighborhood doing work

[00:39:53] and it's no big deal to swing by to like give them an estimate or whatever

[00:39:57] it was right around the time obama did that uh

[00:40:00] class credit it was like uh if you get windows roofing or siding you get

[00:40:07] like a tax credit to get like construction going in the economy which

[00:40:10] was like great but it was so funny doing it in fucking Wilmington

[00:40:13] Delaware and having like old white dudes answer the door and be like the

[00:40:16] reason i don't have money is because i'm fucking obama it was like

[00:40:19] two thousand dollars like he just got in office like you've been fucking up your

[00:40:24] money for years how was it being a boss

[00:40:27] uh it sucked who did you like it i had a fire friend of mine

[00:40:31] wow and it sucked what do you do she she like didn't show up to work and

[00:40:37] then i like handled it so bad she like i had her come in to work and we like

[00:40:42] drove to a site and i was like she's like okay you're ready to go i was like yeah

[00:40:46] well about that like you made her come in and then she had to walk home

[00:40:51] it was like no then we like drove back i i didn't know how to handle it i was

[00:40:55] like fucking like a month sober it fucking sucked oh wow

[00:40:58] but i was like making so much fucking money i paid off my DUI it was fucking

[00:41:01] great hell yeah dude how'd you get that DUI in the first place

[00:41:07] i parked in the lower four lane highway part police station my right foot was

[00:41:12] all the break my left foot was out the window and the car was in drag

[00:41:16] i had a fish flare in the front seat and with a cop good job car i asked him how

[00:41:22] he got inside my apartment i got the police station i just started

[00:41:27] puking everywhere and uh they were like look you gotta get i was like four

[00:41:33] months over and i will it was my first time dirty i like

[00:41:37] relapse and they were like hey get someone to pick you up i was like

[00:41:40] throw me a jail i deserve it i'm like no man just

[00:41:44] we don't want you to go to jail i was like do it i deserve it

[00:41:48] really yeah yeah and then like my lawyer gave me a three-page letter of like

[00:41:52] all the evidence against me and at the bottom of the thing he goes

[00:41:55] as the saying goes your history i'll see you at court

[00:42:01] damn wait who said your lawyer said that about you

[00:42:04] yeah you said you're sorry i had like so much evidence against me to like go

[00:42:07] to even try saying not guilty was right just like the dumbest

[00:42:10] to go wrong you tried to get a breathalyzer on my car and

[00:42:14] i i had already moved into a halfway house so like that helped me

[00:42:17] now a lot did the breathalyzer thing keep breaking because you tried sucking it

[00:42:21] off uh yeah no i had a lot of practice the air flow

[00:42:27] wrong direction

[00:42:29] you're too edge-headed there less tongue

[00:42:40] i thought it was a robot's penis

[00:42:45] damn dude that's fucking hilarious you're dumb as shitting yeah

[00:42:49] thank god you're sober now you think you're gonna get another relapse going

[00:42:52] dude no that's good i thought you relapsed a couple years ago just

[00:42:56] because your facebook posts were getting wild but then i then i saw you like

[00:43:00] couple days later you know i don't know you all right

[00:43:03] breakdown you just did some wild posts and then i was like yeah famous in

[00:43:07] word couple and bomb posts

[00:43:10] that was a song you know it literally does not

[00:43:16] now but i uh i don't do any drugs or nothing anymore and

[00:43:20] things have been a lot better that's good dude just cycling

[00:43:23] just cycling man that's my drug nice and suck and ding-dong

[00:43:29] the lord's drug the lord's drug that is the naughty thing you could do as far

[00:43:33] as the lord is concerned nah suck someone off

[00:43:37] yeah that's what i used to think but now i feel better about that too do you

[00:43:41] your heart and your heart really hated you

[00:43:46] i used to think i hated me damn that sucks dude that's so sad dude i know

[00:43:53] i thought i was so evil oh man oh that's so sad that sucks don't laugh at that

[00:44:00] you thought he was evil because he was sucking off little boys you

[00:44:04] didn't i didn't i didn't i didn't i used to i used to i used to jerk off and

[00:44:08] pray for forgiveness the entire time while you were doing it yeah yeah

[00:44:12] nice because you that's like when you're that's like when you're cooking and

[00:44:15] cleaning it while you cook you know you're taking care of it

[00:44:19] the business taking care of business you're like cleaning up while you're

[00:44:23] cooking a meal like you're done with a pan and waiting after you eat

[00:44:27] oh yeah i do that jerk off and and begging for forgiveness yeah you're doing it

[00:44:31] yeah it's funny because i think god hates me because i'm a bad person

[00:44:34] yeah and then i'm like nah probably not yeah i'm

[00:44:39] probably fine yeah yeah yeah nobody in is because he's

[00:44:42] no i try to be like a really good person then it was like that one thing that i

[00:44:46] couldn't help that made me feel totally evil

[00:44:48] you're cock thirst yeah yeah yeah my insatiable need for more

[00:44:52] penis

[00:44:57] well if we are being honest it is evil very much

[00:45:00] disgusting yeah the letter of the law it's a sin all

[00:45:04] sexes though to be fair no no that's not true how can something

[00:45:08] so good be so bad hmm hmm you're right you're right i'm sorry

[00:45:13] as as the expression goes uh you're what is it

[00:45:18] you're finished i'll see you in hell whatever you said

[00:45:21] yeah i'll see you in hell yeah i get your lawyer whatever we get to the pearly

[00:45:26] gates your whatever you're just saying lawyers pictures of you sucking every

[00:45:29] man's cock that you have and they're like that's what you see before you die

[00:45:33] and it's had so much evidence against yeah

[00:45:39] pages and pages

[00:45:43] animation flip-block yeah

[00:45:46] your life flashing before your eyes it's beautiful though

[00:45:50] well that's good man yeah i'm glad you don't think you're evil anymore

[00:45:54] so who's excited about the new toy story is who there was dude i'm actually

[00:45:59] i'm so excited i love to yo i watch my mind i was excited but now i've decided

[00:46:04] oh come on be excited with me wait there's a new

[00:46:08] yo i saw monsters ink a couple weeks ago um

[00:46:11] incredible film the first one yes yeah it's a good one there's a new one

[00:46:15] hour you saw i didn't see that yeah the girls all grown up and uh

[00:46:19] gross toy story incredible franchise fucks she

[00:46:23] fucks yeah monsters you monsters ink is just the name of

[00:46:27] she fucks monsters yeah oh yeah big just huge black

[00:46:31] eyes black monster cocks you know black dot com black

[00:46:37] raw is a great franchise black raw it's true yes it's incredible

[00:46:42] it's a totally different aesthetic and you can't figure it out at first

[00:46:46] is that it's that it's nighttime that's the only difference what is black raw

[00:46:51] oh basically quite easy is what this is but madam why do you know with this

[00:46:55] gay black porn website it's not a gay website first of all

[00:46:58] it's it's an interracial website where uh black eyes fuck

[00:47:03] white women and you pretend that you're the white woman

[00:47:08] i don't know about that yeah that's what makes it great

[00:47:13] adage greatest secrets reveal i'm gonna show called adam's greatest secrets

[00:47:19] reveal and it's e-end in the mass magician ad

[00:47:22] it's like adam's been beaten off the porn it's for closeted gay guy no

[00:47:27] it's not that's like that's not true i think that i think that sometimes when

[00:47:32] that's not true yeah yeah sometimes when you watch porn you want to

[00:47:35] do to those impotures it's not true sometimes you want to see a genuine

[00:47:39] reaction and there's no choice but to have a genuine reaction when it's a

[00:47:44] massive black penis what are you talking about

[00:47:48] some i sometimes you want to see you don't want to see girls acting

[00:47:52] this is truly gay yeah yeah your take now is actually being

[00:47:58] much gayer than the joke what are you talking about what are you talking

[00:48:01] you just want to see like sometimes you just want to see a small white girl

[00:48:04] just get absolutely pummeled i don't think that's like

[00:48:07] oh my man i don't think there's anything gay about that what you said was

[00:48:11] sometimes you want to see a genuine reaction out of the girl you don't want

[00:48:14] to see her acting and faking an orgasm sometimes you want to see her

[00:48:18] hurt sometimes you want to see her in pain yeah sometimes that's the only

[00:48:22] thing that can make you come yeah after you've seen a lot of porn i got you

[00:48:26] i think that's a pretty uh you were you have ridge uh you see this little

[00:48:30] white girl in in a black dress and you're wearing the same black dress and

[00:48:34] you have high heels on and you've got pearl earrings mom's clothes

[00:48:38] zen these brother kids brought the entire and you sit at top computer into the

[00:48:42] closet you're looping up your you're looping up a flashlight and sitting on

[00:48:46] it this is in his parents bedroom and the doors

[00:48:49] the cold walking closet door shut and the cord to the desktop computer is going

[00:48:54] out to the wall under the desk and his dad's like

[00:48:58] adam where is the computer someone's broken into the house and stoned the

[00:49:04] computer there's an extension cord sneaking through the

[00:49:08] from the living room all the way like your mother's perfume what's going on

[00:49:12] in Adam's panicking just stuffing more clothes under the door

[00:49:16] riff the charges i don't understand this trying to prevent the door from

[00:49:19] opening he's wearing full makeup masturbating the black raw dot com

[00:49:26] i'm not saying i jack off to your dad's i what the fuck is it

[00:49:30] why is the entire computer in the car why didn't you put her clothes on and then

[00:49:36] go into the living room the fax machine why is my entire office bro

[00:49:42] i wouldn't be a business lady i would never do that to my family

[00:49:50] but i have watched i just love the mental image of the wires coming out from

[00:49:54] this closet it doesn't make any sense no it doesn't make sense but it's good for

[00:50:04] me yeah that's really all i understand is things that are funny the physics of

[00:50:09] it why it's funny don't ask me any of that shit

[00:50:13] mhm i just i just hope i die soon i am a big fan of that one

[00:50:18] library the way i ended up on black was the library girl the library girl

[00:50:22] sondrelin yeah she jerked me off with her flashlight

[00:50:25] what yeah are you kidding where you went to like a convention or something

[00:50:29] this last time on the podcast i got real quiet and upset did i

[00:50:33] no i think i think maybe you just told she's yeah she's part of that network of

[00:50:38] porn sites called vixen and black is one of the

[00:50:41] sides of the here's okay let's let's figure out how i get to get jerked off by her

[00:50:46] with a flashlight though with her flashlight where were you had like an

[00:50:50] event or something no no it was on sd art with uh yeah that's your podcast

[00:50:55] good god what's going on with these other

[00:50:57] thoughts that dude fuck can we have her own and i get you just probably get her

[00:51:01] on and we'll just say so dumb is she i kept making jokes about her like she

[00:51:06] went to college spitting in her mouth in my mouth

[00:51:09] and she was like what i was like i'm kidding oh yeah this is a story he

[00:51:14] tries to tell a story about how dumb this woman is and the story's about how he

[00:51:17] lacks his jokes mom's basic level of confidence

[00:51:20] that he can't make a joke about spitting in his mouth to a porn star without

[00:51:24] immediately retracing like i'm just i'm joking

[00:51:28] i'm just joking shut up that's how dumb she is yeah this woman that was

[00:51:34] paid to jerk us off on mike

[00:51:38] i was too shy around her with my spinning in her mouth jokes

[00:51:43] that is a great video did she jack you off the completion

[00:51:46] no what do you mean so you got hard no no it was this thing we're like so you're

[00:51:50] sitting next to big joker simm with a hard-ass day jay jay and ralph

[00:51:54] went in the ralph's room and they had to like get

[00:51:59] mike looking at like blow jobs while they

[00:52:02] were sing were while they were like singing karaoke

[00:52:05] yeah it's called like loey okey or whatever that sounds awesome good for

[00:52:08] them i mean seriously that's a great like i just

[00:52:11] sure this shit and i immediately have to play red dead

[00:52:13] big like in the wilderness and they're sneaking back into society to murder

[00:52:18] people like this is eurean i wanted to blow it

[00:52:23] and they couldn't do it so then uh who was blowing them

[00:52:28] these two like fucking seery porn stories or whatever

[00:52:32] as long as they were getting blown by kendra sunderlin

[00:52:35] was there and they're like ean will you do it and kendra's like well i'll jerk

[00:52:39] you off with my flashlight and i was like all right

[00:52:43] so i went to the room to get hard and this is so pathetic you're waiting to

[00:52:47] the room to get hard i went in the way by myself to get hard

[00:52:50] not where Ralph and big jay were getting sucked off

[00:52:53] no i was in the room to look at your Ralph's car

[00:52:56] i went to get hard by watching this 42 year old man with his ears pierced

[00:53:01] to get hard and you're pulling up gay porn on your phone to get hard so i

[00:53:04] pulled up porn i won't tell you what kind on my phone and uh

[00:53:09] i fucking i love eating pussy so i took her flashlight and started like

[00:53:14] pretend that i was eating god i thought that would like get me home

[00:53:17] actually wait wait i we've got it we've done that as a joke on the show

[00:53:20] we've done that as a bit yeah you were alone in eating a flashlight

[00:53:24] i thought i dude i was panicking it was ironic that was ironic too

[00:53:29] i was pulling it strings buddy i didn't know it was working out hard

[00:53:34] for that no i didn't really get that hard it that didn't work so then i looked

[00:53:38] at porno i can imagine that not working and then she came in and she started

[00:53:42] jerking me off with the thing and it was like hard to get hard it's like a

[00:53:47] weird situation and at the same time i just sing

[00:53:50] fucking uh we will rock you so i'm like buddy you're a young man guy and she's

[00:53:57] like jerking me off and it looked like she was like

[00:53:59] stirring soup but i was like this like kitty socks

[00:54:03] she she didn't take her titties out no and then after a while i was just like

[00:54:08] they were like all right time's up and i was like okay well

[00:54:10] see you later it was so anti-climatic

[00:54:14] damn yeah it sucked if her titties were out and you don't get hard that's

[00:54:18] crazy well well consider the source what do you

[00:54:20] mean huh it's like crazy it is he is not full he's

[00:54:25] bi right no yeah i fucking love titties yeah

[00:54:27] love she has like she is she is she's gonna

[00:54:30] take it fun that even gay guys would get hard for

[00:54:34] yeah like those titties are unbelievable i don't like it's like i don't care how

[00:54:37] dumb she that's the kind i would like be in a relationship with someone like

[00:54:41] that for two years 100 every single word they said

[00:54:45] i would be like god damn it yeah i know please shut up of course

[00:54:52] and then easy easy every night you get to see that fucking sweet

[00:54:56] pair it's like you know what i guess maybe i love you

[00:54:58] what else am i gonna fucking do that videos one of the only like

[00:55:02] return i'm like all the one of the only videos that i've jacked off to

[00:55:06] multiple times oh really not black raw dot com

[00:55:11] then not the not the slender south african woman gets

[00:55:14] fucked by a black man adam serge i don't understand how black

[00:55:18] god has changed my mother's children black

[00:55:21] she's changing you in all that

[00:55:26] vintage black penis no i'm just specifically yours he likes

[00:55:31] this one's a 1973 you can tell because how long the doors are

[00:55:39] you can look at the bee pillar on that cock

[00:55:42] i'm not afraid to say it dude i i i've i've jacked off to many races of people

[00:55:47] having sex with each other is that if that's if that's if you if you think

[00:55:52] that's uh what are you afraid to say what am i afraid to say a good joke

[00:55:58] thank you god

[00:56:03] looks like the man has been got it got him

[00:56:07] he's dead he's gay he's dead we're such a gay now he's dead and now we're giving

[00:56:11] him head that's insane did you get to see your titties

[00:56:15] and any and he said he didn't and any small thing video game i'm listening

[00:56:18] i am listening and then i i took her flashlight home and i had to put it on

[00:56:22] back my bicycle hold on we have to resolve something real quick

[00:56:25] he said that she didn't take her titties out yes stop the record hold on we have

[00:56:29] to resolve something real class the main host of this podcast i

[00:56:33] let's give nick the floor don't ever think i can't multitask

[00:56:38] i used to make 11 dollars an hour while playing video games working at a

[00:56:41] fucking call center i would do this high out of my mind sure it was lego

[00:56:46] indiana jones and sure he was horrible at his job then as well

[00:56:49] he got fired quickly and now no one can fire him unfortunately

[00:56:58] after calling a customer retard

[00:57:02] they still did not fire me because they have fucking they have such high turnover

[00:57:09] oh shit how do you call a customer retard because it's on the phone you can

[00:57:14] just hang up just hang up yeah what do you mean how Ian like in what context

[00:57:18] i didn't actually call anyone retard i used the word retard

[00:57:22] uh i used to get in trouble for saying shit like

[00:57:25] just not even thinking about it that that's not the kind of appropriate

[00:57:29] shit to say to like a customer of a business

[00:57:34] no shit you of course dude anyone that made you work customer sir or like

[00:57:38] deal with customers is so fucking stupid here's the front face of our fucking

[00:57:43] company the first line of defense oh nice oh damn you fucked him up you have

[00:57:51] not completed a single task you run up a 290 dollar bounty there boy

[00:58:01] your horse just tripped that was great

[00:58:05] why are you wearing that mask can you rob a bank uh so they don't know who i am

[00:58:10] dumbass just wear the bear mask no they gotta get him

[00:58:16] it's not get his ass

[00:58:20] maw damn my man is fucked up damn his horse said fuck your body send him back

[00:58:25] to the rest of the police i would love to shoot a police officer in the face

[00:58:31] do it and then and then send him back to his friends on his fucking horse

[00:58:35] mmm-hmm that would message go you fucking bitch

[00:58:44] ride like the wind anyways suck like my dick anyways no what uh i

[00:58:51] listened to every fucking word of Ian's story what Ian said yes

[00:58:55] was that she did not reveal her jimmy her breasticles during the the hand

[00:59:00] job but he did not say that he never saw her tits that's true yeah i guess

[00:59:05] like that you you're now if she were to do our show we're not like those

[00:59:10] depraved retards of legion the skanks no not at all and which is i think

[00:59:15] what i said to the customer

[00:59:18] trying to buy tickets for the bso

[00:59:23] wait is this right try to take it to see he's a curling i was like listen we're

[00:59:28] not like those retards over at the filly

[00:59:35] um wait so did you take her tits out that whole time

[00:59:38] see now who wasn't listening wow Ian said that no she wasn't well it was

[00:59:42] a great video game Adam yeah you just said oh you weren't listening he already

[00:59:47] said no once again the adam freeland self-dunk

[00:59:53] what do you mean a self-dunk to dunk to just do a dunk to just do it doesn't

[00:59:56] mean of something and then you do it i think you just accused me of dunking

[01:00:00] your repertoire yeah what do you mean accusing nik of doing

[01:00:04] damn you just got black what does that ever happen before it's happened a

[01:00:07] bunch dude um yeah whatever just right now it's a good

[01:00:11] website you guys should check out like that

[01:00:14] anyways if she did our show yes you'd be respectful and i would say thank you

[01:00:18] very much for your contribution kendra and then she would say

[01:00:22] i i feel like a lot of people don't understand you yes and i'd be like that's

[01:00:26] true a lot of people don't yep two and a half years later

[01:00:29] i don't care how good the tits are

[01:00:33] you could definitely get her on the show i don't know did she live in new york

[01:00:37] no no but the her publicist lane eat we had michael douglas on the show yeah

[01:00:42] actually of course we could get hold on a second kendrick luis otherland who's

[01:00:46] at the door knock knock knock hi come come in

[01:00:54] hold on we have to listen to my expensive doorbell first okay

[01:00:59] wow it sings come in come in come in it's not done ringing

[01:01:06] hold on fine stay out there

[01:01:25] like you're gonna answer door no i get this novelty doorbell that's

[01:01:29] the entire sound track uh a man for all seasons

[01:01:34] i'm going to listen i this doorbell's not worth it unless you listen

[01:01:39] hold on

[01:01:56] an hour later on the phone with amazon customer service i was here

[01:02:01] and they didn't deliver the package you fucking cunt

[01:02:05] and i'm not calling you a cunt i'm calling amazon a cunt

[01:02:08] but you're the one on the phone right now cunt

[01:02:14] oh i'm so sorry package i did not arrive as expected

[01:02:18] but we will have that redo liver as soon as possible

[01:02:22] okay thanks cunt kendrick thank you mr marin is there anything that we can

[01:02:27] help you wave and what is your name sandy

[01:02:32] they have angler names sisley you know come in can you still have the door

[01:02:38] guys it's not kendrick's gay actor michael douglas yeah

[01:02:42] hi it's me gay

[01:02:49] iron california

[01:02:51] burns 600 people beyond the

[01:02:54] please look into your heart and reach out many domain anything you can

[01:02:58] i know that with beautiful penises i'm gay actor michael douglas

[01:03:02] snip to make a wish

[01:03:11] oh fuck yeah that's how much money have you raised so far

[01:03:16] 69 million dollars for hurricane wasn't for a hurricane relief

[01:03:21] gay actor michael douglas has raised over 20 million dollars

[01:03:25] that's a campaign for penis rejuvenation surgery

[01:03:28] that's crazy this um i was looking at lara and lavoy's twitter

[01:03:32] who lara and lavoy she was a voice mom

[01:03:36] shawns a voice mom lara and lavoy was that girl that did the eraser video

[01:03:41] on mine uh-huh the reason eraser stuff is here you are who you're born to love

[01:03:47] yes mistakes god damn she's the it's like she's the worst

[01:03:52] i would rather she quit social media back in august

[01:03:55] and she's like i can't deal with this harassment i can't she's like you have

[01:03:58] to understand this is like i'm an actual human being and you guys are

[01:04:01] like this abuse i can't fucking take she's like this is really destroying my

[01:04:05] life and then she posts like i get messages like this

[01:04:07] every day and she posts a screenshot of the message and the message is

[01:04:11] the reason erasers don't work on your heart is because who you are who you're

[01:04:14] born to love is a mistake it's like that's not harassment it's literally just

[01:04:19] what you said yeah yeah it's just a thing you said you made the worst video

[01:04:23] of all time yeah you just repeat you know your own words repeated back to you

[01:04:28] that's not fucking harassment yeah it's not posting your addressing i get

[01:04:33] cupcake and a candy bar to this day yeah that's funny yeah there was i mean

[01:04:37] it's fucking annoying but i yeah it is funny like i thought it's not

[01:04:40] harassment i mean but that she's just embarrassed because it's the worst

[01:04:45] thing of all time she just makes these like uh

[01:04:47] like trying to be inspirational like videos online and they're just all

[01:04:52] like the worst wait hold on i'm trying to remember why barreira oh yeah she was

[01:04:55] retweeting this go fund me for some canadian hockey like i don't know yeah

[01:05:00] hockey team or whatever it got into like a bus accident oh damn and they raised

[01:05:05] oh yeah million dollars on yeah Drake Drake got behind that too really i think

[01:05:11] they all died didn't they the canadian guys 16 of them died yeah let's

[01:05:15] fucking fucking suck stick dude wait did you guys hear this this is kind of

[01:05:21] old news by now but the one of the people that got shot at that bar

[01:05:26] in uh in the same fernando valley they survived was a survivor the fake

[01:05:31] yeah that sucks dude what was a reunion for survivors of it was it yeah dude

[01:05:37] oh my god it's horrible it's so awful i know

[01:05:43] jesus christ man that's some bad luck did that guy know that going in no he was

[01:05:48] like didn't he like post in the middle of it he's like

[01:05:50] people are gonna say that i had a motive he's like i just did this because like

[01:05:54] i was bored he's like yeah i just did this just because i can

[01:06:00] yeah that was fucking miserable terrible man to go to really that mass shooting

[01:06:06] was bad out to get to my to go two for two is sucks dick dude

[01:06:11] it's like that nagasaki Hiroshima guy oh yeah

[01:06:16] he was at both yeah there's a guy that was like

[01:06:19] in the first one and he's like whoo really dodged a bullet there

[01:06:23] and he's just oh my god yeah yeah that's what i guess i'm gonna stay with my

[01:06:30] friends can you imagine i'll go hide out and say

[01:06:32] fold nagasaki oh my god yeah can you imagine what you think

[01:06:38] the world is from for the rest of your life uh-huh just it would probably be

[01:06:41] trying to kill 15 years to just be chill oh that you're ruined forever

[01:06:47] yeah probably um suck my heart is dick so what are you doing uh

[01:06:53] what what did you do for Thanksgiving in yeah wink wink

[01:06:57] you have nowhere to go right no i uh i went home to graveyard

[01:07:04] Delaware go take a swing by the old graveyard one to a bunch of graves

[01:07:09] uh no to uh Delaware to see uh mom nice oh that's

[01:07:14] be pretty sick to go to a graveyard and try and pick up girls there

[01:07:17] just goth girls got a shoot just like a woman put a

[01:07:21] flowers on a grave so walk up behind the tree hey what's up

[01:07:25] what's up what's up what's going on hey mama what's up my name's

[01:07:30] chis chis come here often chia all day at the

[01:07:37] university the extra z stands for was uh was uh

[01:07:43] yeah it stands for the one of the middle zine was uh yeah

[01:07:48] remember that remember Budweiser bitch was uh

[01:07:53] was uh girl was uh how you doing names chis

[01:07:58] from 1998

[01:08:03] bum bum bum bum you're killing me small what do people say in 1998

[01:08:08] oh i love third i blind no what did they say not

[01:08:13] don't just mention something from 1998

[01:08:18] as if as if whatever is this is this real life

[01:08:23] talk to the hand yeah wow the bomb all that the bag of chips all

[01:08:29] that and bag of chips yeah you still say that yeah talk to the

[01:08:31] fucking hand talk to the hand is that then you don't go there

[01:08:36] yeah can you imagine how funny it's going to be in 10 years when we

[01:08:39] remember Adam saying stuff like lowkey and highkey and

[01:08:42] lit and talking like a black teenage girl as a 32 year old

[01:08:47] i don't say i don't say lowkey or highkey

[01:08:50] i don't say any of that shit yeah i use i use

[01:08:53] you say lowkey i say gender appropriate words

[01:08:57] like good day to you sir and madam classic swag swag is for boys

[01:09:04] man's from man's fellow just bothering you what is the sir

[01:09:08] or ma'am for people that are they them sir or dear they are them

[01:09:13] yeah dear they are them to whom it may concern i think you left

[01:09:17] your man sitter but i think you left your ma'am is this

[01:09:23] ma'am i believe you left your penis in my hand is your penis

[01:09:27] bothering you ma'am is this penis bothering

[01:09:32] that's right that is correct let me take this penis off you for

[01:09:39] you with my mouth

[01:09:47] kill shot at eastern motors you'll fix your penis

[01:09:55] do you did eastern motors make it the Delaware

[01:09:57] Ian did what eastern motor do you know about eastern motors they have that

[01:10:00] Delaware i think it was Baltimore DC yeah DMV

[01:10:04] shot at the eastern motors official was like the official used car

[01:10:07] dealership have come to it was the second chance financing car dealership

[01:10:11] that uh some like it was just like all over jingle

[01:10:15] yeah they had red skins and ravens players always yeah yeah the commercials

[01:10:19] were like pretty recognizable in the area them and senate auto insurance

[01:10:23] with the uh how much the eastern is even more so but

[01:10:27] back in that probably the mid 90s senate was all over the place and it was out

[01:10:31] there but eastern motors like Colin kiss my bumper just kiss it

[01:10:34] mm-hmm black i dressed as an old lady yeah we's a comic

[01:10:39] his name is like uh how are g that was the same

[01:10:43] remember how i'm getting a phone call thank you yeah you're gonna phone call

[01:10:47] where's my phone who is it sounds your boyfriend it's a hot it's a hot guy

[01:10:51] can you hand it to me in let me answer it no

[01:10:55] there we go let's check out how are g on at eastern motors

[01:11:01] your dicks your penis

[01:11:07] at the old the old comedy fact remember that oh hell yeah dude

[01:11:12] my man alabama yeah yeah no that was uh that's the one that was above uh what's

[01:11:17] it called bear why do i always forget the name of that

[01:11:19] fucking restaurant someone keeps calling me from morocco

[01:11:22] it's just some kind of scam dude yeah probably they probably have a recording

[01:11:25] something like that goddamn restaurant

[01:11:27] bergs yes i never i never was i never was there

[01:11:31] when it was in front on top of bergs oh really yeah i just got the old power

[01:11:35] plant location oh okay yeah no i liked it i liked

[01:11:39] that spot the club itself sucked to perform it

[01:11:43] yeah but that spot was cool yeah the factory sucks dick they're in a they're

[01:11:47] in a busty bonale oh yeah yep we got adam on his phone

[01:11:53] over here i just got a voicemail hello daniel

[01:11:56] i'm calling because jan johnson put you down as a

[01:11:59] personal reference call it up hello daniel hello dam daniel hello dam daniel

[01:12:08] something the people gonna be making fun of people for saying for sure

[01:12:11] what was that no daniel is gonna be around for a while that lean to don't

[01:12:14] tweet there was like damn daniel is low key one of the like

[01:12:18] the highest pieces of gay art of all time what yeah i remember that

[01:12:24] that was a good one i don't know fuck the idiot i feel i kind of feel bad for her

[01:12:28] at this point i feel like she's kind of lost her mind

[01:12:31] you know she never had a broken mind she's gotten everything handed to her

[01:12:35] her shows mediocre shit i feel like everyone hates her

[01:12:39] you finally watch damn daniel i feel it's some of the most important queer

[01:12:43] performance art of art

[01:12:45] he wasn't the idiot oh wow she's never seen

[01:12:50] Ian just go about life that's queer is queer

[01:12:53] Ian is our living is queer performance on an honor bicycle

[01:12:57] yeah

[01:13:01] what are those

[01:13:04] that's right i saw she had a video that was like uh

[01:13:08] she was doing the drake like kiki challenge and like

[01:13:12] and it got like super low engagement she has like five million followers it

[01:13:16] got like you know 400 likes or something and then all the

[01:13:21] at replies are like you raped your sister while she was a baby

[01:13:26] what did you say she put like pebbles in her sister's pussy or something yeah

[01:13:29] in her book yeah yeah when her sister was one time i was hanging out with funny

[01:13:33] this is dw from arthur with down syndrome oh god

[01:13:37] that's a good photo shop

[01:13:40] have you seen this no that's that's hilarious one time i was hanging out with

[01:13:45] that i love that i really like that a lot

[01:13:51] niggies now put that red dead redemption to look up pictures of arthur characters

[01:13:56] with being retarded though oh wow yeah no hold on here i gotta see if

[01:14:01] there's more of these dw is a cunt dude that guy that guy with the she was

[01:14:06] really rude to arthur yeah i fucked her damn daniel i fucked

[01:14:11] uh one time i was hanging out with uh nick and randy and sarah and it was right

[01:14:15] after the lina dunham i masturbated in front of my baby sister and put pebbles

[01:14:20] in her pussy thing came out and nix face just went completely blank for

[01:14:23] ten minutes and he was like looking at his phone and he just wrote this like

[01:14:27] perfect fake page of her book but it was like and then i kissed the baby

[01:14:31] softly and i i remember that but we're like what are you doing there that

[01:14:36] was a good like came out with like this perfect art that's right that was

[01:14:41] great queer performance art yeah i used to

[01:14:45] like put effort forward into the things i put out on the internet what are you

[01:14:50] searching one time arthur down's art work

[01:14:54] one time one time i watched uh gay board out at this guy i was getting

[01:14:58] fucked and he goes oh frick it Ralph about his ass yeah that's pretty

[01:15:04] fun that's funny that's a good bit salute to him get his ass

[01:15:09] dude poor and have uh more jokes you want to talk about uh

[01:15:15] authenticity adam yeah watch gay porno you can tell when the guys are

[01:15:19] really when he's in pain well they're they get heart ons you can tell when

[01:15:24] they oh if he's getting fucked in the ass i've tried to no faking in that

[01:15:28] pale

[01:15:31] hey everyone did you like i watched when i was like 15 and i was like

[01:15:35] when snarky i lived it sister you lived it yeah

[01:15:40] you watched when you were 15 you didn't you just like am i gay and then you

[01:15:43] like oh let's look at what gave you every day you watch it

[01:15:47] every day am i gay i got a lot like a clockwork all around maybe twice

[01:15:51] if anyone says i've never seen it i will never see it that's right hold on i

[01:15:55] like i won't say that i've never seen gay porn but i've never ever once in my

[01:15:59] life looked at gay porn to see if i like it

[01:16:02] when you're fucking 14 absolutely never have i done all right i guess you

[01:16:07] knew i guess you didn't have any like you you never thought one time like

[01:16:11] mmm am i a gay guy i would had a fear that i was

[01:16:15] but never was i had a crippling fear after coming he he realized he's

[01:16:21] well i remember yeah i remember like i remember that's pretty normal

[01:16:24] personally no it's not i think you know as a young adolescent to like

[01:16:29] non-no what you think i'm a little bit gay i think there are

[01:16:35] dudes that are 110 percent straight that have never

[01:16:40] really ever questioned maybe have been like

[01:16:44] no but i think there are a lot of dudes that are like

[01:16:47] am i maybe but i think to say that every single person has

[01:16:54] always that every single person thinks

[01:16:57] that they're gay i don't think that that's true i think that

[01:17:00] there are definitely people that have but to think that everyone does i don't

[01:17:03] think that that's true yeah yeah Adam takes his own life and then goes

[01:17:07] everyone does this yeah of course i've certainly looked at

[01:17:11] transport biography as an ally hell yeah i said ally i jerk off in in

[01:17:18] allegiance with my brothers and sisters you know real real for real though

[01:17:23] and you'll you'll say it's bullshit but i and this is gonna be a candid moment

[01:17:27] but like i have been looking at the amount of money that i lost and i've

[01:17:31] been being offered

[01:17:34] and fuck i love it dude you truly are fin goth you're fin goth

[01:17:42] now that i got the money i mean yeah maybe i do want to be fin um

[01:17:45] that's just cool dude i would love to have like a just a hot girlfriend and

[01:17:49] it's like you don't care that she fucks out of people it's like yeah i don't

[01:17:52] give a shit it's so it's a fucking write-off

[01:17:54] to have a human being that you can care about that little that they're just sort

[01:17:57] of around and you have sex with them occasionally but mostly it's just like

[01:18:01] an expense that's like a bookkeeper yeah now beyond the prostitute because

[01:18:07] the prostitute isn't enough a prostitute's too intimate they need to be removed

[01:18:10] to it's like a fucking like a rotating housekeeper service where it's like yeah

[01:18:16] i don't know remember what her name is but oh all right yeah that bitch comes by

[01:18:20] too like that to that level i gotta be home and then you buy

[01:18:26] yeah and then you buy your thing no you don't even buy your things she just

[01:18:29] has like a credit card you don't even fucking check

[01:18:31] that's so gross to me and i know but once you have the money it's like

[01:18:36] oh yeah no because it's you know what it is it's like it's a level of

[01:18:41] power where nobody can really take anything away from you

[01:18:45] this thing is like people like yeah you don't care about like oh these bitches

[01:18:47] are gold diggers it's like oh these bitches are gold diggers or whatever it's

[01:18:51] like well if you have enough fucking gold it's like

[01:18:53] cost of doing business right it's a shit yeah i'm not there but i will

[01:18:57] block their either you need like don't you ever say that again

[01:19:01] how about girls stuff i want to watch girls enjoy things that i've purchased

[01:19:05] no you don't even watch them enjoy it you know you're not even aware of it

[01:19:09] i want them looking what that's crazy you just know in the back of your mind

[01:19:13] your credit card's getting blown up yeah but again it doesn't matter because

[01:19:17] you still make it because it's not even a drop in the bucket well does it turn

[01:19:19] you on granted look i'll never be that guy i'm terrible at investing i've lost

[01:19:23] so much i like this is like it's like only this wall street guys get to do

[01:19:28] that do you think that they come looking at their bank account balance like

[01:19:31] seeing the difference like i don't think they come at all the

[01:19:34] i think that's why these guys like you know they gotta have like cigarettes

[01:19:37] put out on them and it's like well you want me to jerk you off it's like

[01:19:39] nah just get the fuck out of here i gotta i gotta check my

[01:19:44] i'm gonna see how my shorts are doing you gotta see how your dick is doing

[01:19:50] when you can have everything when you can have everything

[01:19:55] everything you're talking about what check my shorts that's your cock

[01:19:59] oh instead of your investment what about that guy damn lizarin or what's his name

[01:20:03] billsarion lizarion yeah do you want to kiss him do you think he's cute

[01:20:08] Ian do you like his guns if he was shaved and black

[01:20:13] into it with like a little hairless gorilla yeah yeah then i'd be into it then i have him hold me

[01:20:21] you do love black is damn billsarion short i don't know

[01:20:25] he's probably your hide so yeah he is so yeah he's short

[01:20:28] um no i feel like when you can get anything you want

[01:20:34] like if you're like a rich guy being denied things is like the only thing

[01:20:40] i never want to be that can turn you on i hate being denied things i like when i

[01:20:43] get stuff though don't go on grinder

[01:20:49] thanks man you're like you're like one of those dinosaurs from the flintstones

[01:20:53] put about gay shit it's a living don't go on grinder

[01:20:58] you just have your little catchphrase is ready to go

[01:21:01] get the reference but that's very funny thanks Ian you don't get the reference of

[01:21:06] the flintstones i don't remember i know the flintstones you fucking jerk

[01:21:11] old but i don't remember the dinosaur specifically

[01:21:14] really they'll all like then you don't know the flintstones

[01:21:18] everything all their appliances are just animals yeah

[01:21:21] everyone knows that about the flintstones yeah and then the construction site the

[01:21:25] animals are like the construction equipment right

[01:21:27] you don't remember that i didn't know they catch for yes and then so yeah like the bird

[01:21:31] will be like you know as a telephone or whatever and then they go it's a living

[01:21:35] thing Ian like that i like it all right i love the flintstones

[01:21:42] all right man well this has been our beautiful thanksgiving app is what i

[01:21:46] much post thanksgiving post thanksgiving oh yeah you ready to get out of here

[01:21:50] black sun let's go let's go get free to clean my room

[01:21:53] man here smell me i smell like a pussy oh do you yeah

[01:21:57] i mean smell i did not want to smell you dude that smells thank oh damn

[01:22:01] smells like you've been doing yoga yeah um all right

[01:22:05] i hope you enjoyed your holiday funny mom's is tomorrow night

[01:22:09] funny mom's is tomorrow we got a really good lineup uh

[01:22:11] Ian will not be on it Ian will be on it but we will be reading Ian's tweets to

[01:22:17] the audience Ian hey you want to go through the ball around

[01:22:20] maybe take a couple of right now do you also be in house of blues Boston

[01:22:25] okay no bonking let me let him let him plug a shit

[01:22:28] house of blues Boston in adobe and vaughan picky pepsi

[01:22:32] plain baseball first carolines on broadway december 19th come out carolines on

[01:22:36] broadway okay and if you want to see someone who's good at comedy i will be

[01:22:39] in long island on november 30th albeit the dc draft house on the 7th

[01:22:44] and 8th please come out to those will be in india on the 13th

[01:22:48] since an ad in the 14th columbus on the 15th clav1 on the 16th

[01:22:52] and then at lannick city december 6th

[01:22:55] my december 7th don't go see Ian go see me i'll be in l.a. on february

[01:23:00] second pittsburgh on the 11th and then once again if you want to

[01:23:04] play catch with me and nick will be at herbert von king part

[01:23:08] perek von king's part practicing baseball i'm gonna come i'm gonna be

[01:23:11] just on the 19th we got baseball practice we got

[01:23:14] bit well we're gonna be getting hit some balls to you guys

[01:23:17] i'm a good coach um i think we're good just the two of us

[01:23:26] i'll be in the park cruising we'll see you in the park

[01:23:30] yeah i think we're okay just being like what's up bro

[01:23:35] oh hey guys didn't see you there

[01:23:39] little thrice and bowls around i'm gay comedian

[01:23:42] fighting it must have been nice when that was what being gay was

[01:23:49] was going to the park all the time i still the park's nice

[01:23:53] do you ever cruise at the park yeah i could really park really

[01:23:55] park cruising's fun how do you know how to cruise

[01:23:58] do you say you have gay sex like public bathrooms and kind of build into

[01:24:02] you know you can tell you can tell you can tell if someone else is cruising

[01:24:06] yeah dude how can you tell it's eye contact a look a field you ever got

[01:24:10] it wrong this gay guy hit on me a bar but like clearly like he was new to being

[01:24:14] gay there's like some nerdy gay guys at this bar one time we're both waiting

[01:24:18] for the bathroom and he's like drunk as shit

[01:24:21] and uh like he looks at me and he's like oh you got the same shirt

[01:24:27] and like we both had like brown shirts with stripes on them but they

[01:24:30] clearly weren't the same shirt i'm like oh yeah i guess

[01:24:35] or whatever and he's like looks at me he's like um

[01:24:39] do you want to get out of here i was like excuse me like yes i was like

[01:24:44] excuse me and he goes uh do you do you want me to get out of here

[01:24:49] oh that's okay i mean you ever get it really wrong

[01:24:54] think someone's cruising for gay sex but they're like just trying to enjoy the

[01:24:57] park i got turned down the other day by cruisers by fellow cruisers by a

[01:25:02] cruiser just by a guy that's like um so something depraved homosexual was

[01:25:06] trying to suck cock in a bathroom stuff oh is it a glory hole

[01:25:10] you got turned down at a glory hole where are the glory holes wait shut up are you

[01:25:13] serious wait you wait your dick got turned down not even

[01:25:18] arrested you i didn't pull my dick out yet but wait your mouth got turned down

[01:25:22] i don't know it we didn't get to the fucking hole yet there was a whole point

[01:25:25] of a glory hole now there's a misconception about glory holds

[01:25:29] what the fuck is you meet the guy and then you see you look at me the i mean

[01:25:32] you say contact you give each other a little nod and then you go into your

[01:25:35] little chamber and you uh and then you stick it in the

[01:25:39] the hole i would think that defeats you know just you don't just go in

[01:25:43] some people go in willy nilly and just wait i thought that's the point i don't

[01:25:47] just stick my dick into anything i like to kind of know yes you do who it is on

[01:25:50] the other side i got standards mother i'm a fucking

[01:25:53] new york 10 all right you're so ugly dude you're

[01:25:57] ugly you're ugly you're ugly you're ugly you're ugly you're ugly you're ugly

[01:26:01] i'm ugly it's new york seven delaware 10 fucking glory

[01:26:06] hole 20 you're out of your mind right well that not apparently not motherfucker

[01:26:09] you can't even get your dicks like that glory hole well this fucking Nigerian

[01:26:12] was out of his mind wait what is wrong where where's this glory hole

[01:26:17] you can be 21st and 8th what i'm trying to find any first and 8th where's that

[01:26:22] Chelsea yeah yeah they got them all around old Chelsea glory hole

[01:26:26] any sounds classic yeah you got them in the back really

[01:26:29] every porno shop it's a good slice i feel like you don't see

[01:26:33] portal shops anymore oh they gotta be you just have

[01:26:36] portal you're you know you're not interested in this conversation

[01:26:39] no he and getting his dicks into the glory hole doesn't

[01:26:41] it's an interesting to you know i think it's pretty funny about

[01:26:44] kath and jake mentioning me in some i don't know i've been

[01:26:49] oh in red scare whatever no i guess they got a problem with something

[01:26:52] that fans of the show are doing that's giddy do not give a shit about wood

[01:26:56] either is a map to see what happened oh jake it doesn't matter make keep

[01:26:59] talking about the glory hole what keep talking about the so you

[01:27:03] didn't get you got turned out of the glory hole yeah

[01:27:05] sorry bro that's all right man keep keep swinging dude yeah suck your way

[01:27:09] through it suck my way through to the other side that's right

[01:27:14] when shooters are in a slump they just shoot their way through it have gay

[01:27:17] sex through this gay sex man you get three out of ten hits you're in the hall

[01:27:20] of fame you suck three out of ten dicks at a glory hole

[01:27:25] it put your mouth up at the finish it finish it

[01:27:29] it's been a good show guys

[01:27:34] let's go out of it where they put your mouth up

[01:27:36] where they put your mouth up go ahead

[01:27:39] say you're on or something your mouth up at the

[01:27:42] store i don't know you jersey up they're taking

[01:27:46] all right folks that'll do for us thank you so much

[01:27:49] black raw dot com slap backslash adam freeland wearing his mom's clothes

[01:27:55] goodbye