Cum Town | Premium | 11/30/2018
[00:00:00] Okay, cunt well, canto, we need we had a quick break
[00:00:08] Quick break this week, but we're back playing right there
[00:00:12] Yeah, we played out of respect for Bonnie
[00:00:15] Afraid to play in front of a mom is that what it was? I think that's the psychology behind it
[00:00:20] I think it was just because we respect her as a person. Yeah, and we have no respect for our current guests
[00:00:26] Yeah, Tony man. No, I just want to take a little break Anthony DeVito. No, come on. Don't put it down
[00:00:32] Just turn the PlayStation off shut up shut the fuck up
[00:00:39] Anthony and now man now, it's cool. Me. No, we're gonna ask what you name your horse. Oh, well, I guess I can show you some things
[00:00:45] No, Anthony. God damn it. I'd love to see it man. I came over mainly to watch Nick play video games
[00:00:50] That's what my understanding of the podcast
[00:00:55] Even playing no no, but you see what the name is a couple times before you go dad a secret
[00:01:04] Revealed to us that he has a handwritten checklist
[00:01:13] Cuz he hasn't played the game he's just making clothes
[00:01:20] Yeah, Nick who does not remember wasting time by going back to the store every time you kill an animal
[00:01:27] Wow out and about and then you just make a note out of that you make all the clothes. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that sounds
[00:01:33] He's wearing a boars. Nick who forgets when he has to be places
[00:01:40] Wait, what do you panther gloves? What do you mean a checklist like oh clothing you need no animals? I need to kill
[00:01:50] Man, that's so much better. Yeah, I thought it was yeah. No, it's a pretty good plan. I got
[00:02:00] Yeah, well, I'm looking for another panther here
[00:02:16] No, no, you're right Nick. This is what it should be you know what I was gonna stop
[00:02:20] But then I heard about how bad people have been getting it, but that I'm playing the game
[00:02:24] Honestly, have they been yet? I mean I get it for the first time I might be on the side of those people
[00:02:28] Yeah, and honestly like it was maybe the first time I've ever been gone from the show and people are like you need to go back
[00:02:37] Make Nick stop playing that video. Oh, yeah, you were the one that's gonna do that. Yeah, he's a really passionate master
[00:02:42] But is there anybody who's like super into it?
[00:02:45] You'd be like letting down horribly if you I'm sure I'm sure there's a couple guys that love the red dead abs
[00:02:51] Actually, I don't give a fuck. I just remember I don't give a fuck. Do whatever you want
[00:02:54] Come down this podcast fucking gay Adams Adams about trying to
[00:03:00] No way you are probably more true than everyone
[00:03:06] Penis pleaser a thingy pleaser. Yeah, I'm feeling kind of sick. I feel a little rundown myself
[00:03:13] I've had a day where it feels like I actually had a job today. Yeah, we've had to do two podcast
[00:03:24] You know what's on the road on the road. Yeah, I was on the road on the upper West side
[00:03:29] No rules on the road boys got a hit of checkers on the road
[00:03:36] Check just get a hotel to beat off in the 20 minutes before therapy that I had
[00:03:42] I had to write that would be the saddest shit has anyone ever like done that do you think like gone into like a hotel?
[00:03:48] That you normally would go to like a prostitute. Oh, oh, and you just just go to Jack
[00:03:56] Well that the Japanese did have that problem solved by having Jack
[00:04:01] Literally had like rooms. You could rent the jack off. Yeah with the computers and DVDs. Yeah, they're really ahead of the curve on every
[00:04:14] What's your beef with the Japanese this sock why thinks they're fake
[00:04:22] Just to follow a rule Japan is gay. Let me be on the record. It is gay
[00:04:26] What now you're saying I was always saying it's gay. You're trying to be a contrarian Adam
[00:04:31] I'm not being a popular opinion. I really enjoyed my big popular opinion is that Japan sucked in the Japanese are trash
[00:04:37] Well popular guys are saying in a group of three of us. Yeah, that is the popular opinion. You're trying to be a contrarian by saying
[00:04:44] That's not true. You were buying lace undergarments for yourself. That's why you liked it. I was not buying it for myself
[00:04:50] Yes, you were you were buying little boys clothing in Japan. Well, I need something in my size
[00:04:57] Every store there is a baby. Yeah, the sushi was good that steak was good issue by the way you guys gonna pay me for those steaks
[00:05:03] Do we owe you for the sake yeah, but we can or we can just get big more big dick steaks Peter
[00:05:10] We can let it roll we can let it ride. Yeah, we have Nick's birthday coming up
[00:05:30] Yeah, we got we get a big steak dinner for that
[00:05:36] Yeah, lugeres the same quality. Oh you for dinner from like two months ago. We do we said at the time
[00:05:43] You guys said that yeah, it was a thousand dollars
[00:05:46] All right, but I mean we can let her it was not like a fucking sandwich that I'm asking guys for
[00:05:51] I'm a paid for all those tell rooms. I asked for money. Did you get money?
[00:05:59] Said it's not that I care about it's that you guys said you were gonna pay me. That's why
[00:06:05] Like I said, we can let it ride okay, and we can keep getting fancy meals
[00:06:18] On that challenge they let women fly the
[00:06:24] She's the bomb every time a woman tries to leave the surface of the earth. It's a disaster
[00:06:36] How many times you go on a commercial flight as a female pilot now, I think we literally had one on the way back
[00:06:43] She was hot actually what happened the flight was a disaster. No, that was the one you
[00:07:02] Because of that bitch that Chinese woman I kept passing notes to nobody would pad forward them
[00:07:12] I was sitting next to a Turkish version of me on one of those flights
[00:07:15] Yeah, he was just the older Turkish version. He was fat as shit. She said a mustache
[00:07:19] He was snoring allowed as fuck have you ever heard their language spoken out loud? Yeah
[00:07:26] They have sound yeah, what is it sounds like somebody a Russian guy making up Arabic? Yeah
[00:07:36] Yeah, how did you know the guy was a Turkish on the flight? I just had I can tell
[00:07:40] He was wearing his dress like a natural rival
[00:07:48] I thought he was Greek and then he was reading Arabic and I was like oh, yeah, that's a fucking that's a turkey turkey or some shit
[00:07:54] I don't know are they there's like super
[00:07:57] They're like a dangerous people right yeah, dude. You can't trust the dangerous
[00:08:01] They did a genocide that they refused to acknowledge they fucked up our means
[00:08:05] Mmm really bad and they fucked up the Ottoman Empire
[00:08:13] Sank Unger we fucking he like denied the Armenian genocide really for most of his career
[00:08:18] It was until like two years ago that he was like didn't happen damn. Yeah, that's wild
[00:08:24] Are you sure you just slob sure someone okay nice? Yeah, he was like outspoken
[00:08:29] It didn't happen back in the 90s just this thing with proof like it fucking happened
[00:08:37] I think Congress because of some sort of lobbying like can't pass like a resolution to
[00:08:42] Acknowledged yeah, I remember in college when when I was in college. That was like a topic. There's like an op-ed or something about it
[00:08:49] Rush that I had to read for class. Yeah are they real what's I thought they cop them?
[00:08:53] I thought they already had the Ukraine or Ukraine. No, they took a little piece. Mm-hmm. They took a little scrumptious morsel of it
[00:09:04] I had a little skirmish going on damn. They're gonna be great if Russia just annexes Ukraine. They probably will honestly well and then Poland
[00:09:12] Damn, we're about to have a fucking Russian ass Hitler on deck
[00:09:16] Mm-hmm. What do we get a day of Sarah Palin? Everybody laughed Mitt Romney called it not Sarah Palin called it. No, that bitch had no idea
[00:09:23] No, she did as her apparently absolutely called it Russia would invade Ukraine
[00:09:27] When they when they invaded Georgia, she was like they're gonna go after Ukraine next. Oh was that when she was running?
[00:09:34] Uh-huh. Oh damn. I remember shit. Yeah, dude. She's a boss. I remember Mitt Romney. She's been right about literally everything
[00:09:44] Problem with it is because of your internalized misogyny that is true
[00:09:48] That is true. I jacked off to Nailin Palin. Oh 100% I never saw it. You never saw it. Yeah, I never saw Nailin
[00:09:55] Oh, I was so excited because I did want to I did want it. I want it
[00:09:58] Yeah, you know what I'd like to do is mail in Palin and we put her in a fucking box and send her off to Tim Buck
[00:10:05] To you know get her get her get her out of here spread the good word there spread spread your fucking legs open and get raped
[00:10:28] You know, how about Hillary be like immigrants are the reason there's not
[00:10:47] She's gonna run again make the entire fucking campaign about how the last election was stolen from her by Russia
[00:10:53] No one will give a shit she'll lose even harder. Yep, and and then it's like
[00:10:58] Yeah, it'll just be a fucking nightmare. That would be pretty funny
[00:11:24] President happy birthday to Diane also announcing my
[00:11:34] Someone does he does sort of look like Grover Cleveland now. Yeah, he's gotten fat
[00:11:38] He's he's between he's if if BAM and Phil are like the different parts of an Animorphs cover
[00:11:45] BAM is somewhere in the he's like the fourth one. Yeah, yeah, yeah if young BAM and Phil. Yeah, he's like fourth the fourth
[00:11:52] Yeah, so do you guys ever read anymore stuff fuck with that book? Yeah, that was pretty tight
[00:11:58] It's like some alien that's off after goosebumps was yes, that's BAM Margera now. Oh, yeah
[00:12:08] Look like which president probably rather for be Hayes right?
[00:12:14] Behaze actually is what they called him is it cuz yeah some kind of shit. This is I almost know
[00:12:23] Key there was like some weird fucked up deal
[00:12:27] Where they traded him getting to be president for some?
[00:12:30] Racist shit. Yeah, I think that's right. That's it. It's pretty close
[00:12:42] Yeah, something like that listen someone fast someone looked that up by the way someone DM me and was like
[00:12:49] Castle BAM is on Airbnb now. What's Cassel for the fucking castle from Viva La BAM?
[00:13:04] Right we should do it. Yes. You wanted to do it at secrets secrets
[00:13:08] We wanted to do an off season like a February
[00:13:20] A lot of steel drums we wanted like a march
[00:13:22] I'm not shaking Jamaicans. Yeah, we'll get the guy from girls down wild
[00:13:49] I think so he got in trouble. He went something happened with him
[00:13:54] I don't exactly know what I think he was like he a lot of girls like weren't consenting to
[00:14:02] Joe Francis. Yeah, and he also probably is a rapist like just all just out of out of progress
[00:14:08] He's got it so fun energy like all these accusations
[00:14:11] Stop and everyone's like yeah, he's definitely
[00:14:16] Second of all second of all I am not a rapist. I mean just look at him. You know like no women
[00:14:21] Yeah, my whole business is fucking tricking drunk bitches and showing your titties girls and then selling it
[00:14:27] That's just the same just being a horny fat guy makes you just as much of a rapist
[00:14:31] Yeah, if you guys heard that clip of him from like 10 years ago, he's trying to compare himself to Joe Francis
[00:14:52] Joe Francis I got a real rapey vibe when stop was talking about him versus Joe
[00:15:01] First of all if anyone's the rapist it's gonna be Adam. Yeah for obvious reasons. He had a barman's full
[00:15:07] That's part of the whole thing. Yeah, but a rape requires a lot
[00:15:14] Yeah after you do the barman's food before you go to your party your father takes you into it
[00:15:18] Yeah, the rabbi's office. Yeah, the rabbi's shows you how it's done
[00:15:26] And then you're like you son you will do this
[00:15:32] You learn a series of nautical knots that are like perfect for tying people yes
[00:15:40] That's pretty good. I would love to get into not tying
[00:15:42] I mean that's my next move is ropes. Yeah
[00:15:48] Completely non-sexual. Yeah, you don't want to do it for domination purposes. We're right. Yeah, you just want to like keep the whole
[00:15:55] Yeah, I just blindfold myself and tie bow lines as fast as possible
[00:16:00] Yeah, you just go you show a girl like look what I got bitch a blindfold in a bunch of ropes like oh my god
[00:16:07] Yeah, I think more worried about the woman who stays Wow
[00:16:23] Yeah, she was just molested by an autistic man. She stays by an autistic boy scouts troop leader. Oh
[00:16:39] Fuck you spent some time over in Ocean City fat Tony. Oh, yeah, man. I would
[00:16:44] Love was that a big Jersey people came to
[00:16:49] Yeah, yeah, it's the whole it's the whole whole nice whole Mid-Atlantic because I thought there was an ocean city Jersey
[00:16:57] Sucks, but yeah, there's nothing going on. Oh, it's not as good as
[00:17:10] The premier the PRMiro see yeah nice now there's nothing better on the on the east coast
[00:17:15] That's hilarious to think about because that beach sucks so much. Yeah, the worst place. Yeah, no people in Jersey would be like that's like
[00:17:24] They didn't go to the shore with the fuck we would go to the shore, but then like I think like maybe college or around then
[00:17:30] We were like let's go to ocean. Let's grow up a little bit. Let's grow up a little
[00:17:34] You get you ever get head in Ocean City, Maryland. I never got a head notion
[00:17:38] Yeah, man. I wish that would be oh, you know and only a select few
[00:17:46] Did you ever see anyone get hit or any what's the closest you got to getting head in Ocean City, Maryland?
[00:17:52] And I'm I'm friend my I mean doctor Mike hooked up with somebody nice my friend Mike, but that was it
[00:17:57] You know I might have you know, yeah, cuz I was more you know, I'm more of a
[00:18:08] I'm not talking these bitches dude. I'm fucking around my ropes
[00:18:22] Yeah, never Ocean City Wildwood I have to put on wild
[00:18:26] Ooh you first kiss and you just pull your cock out immediately
[00:18:50] Did you know she was 12 yeah, I was like prerequisite
[00:18:59] There's grass on the field she's like there is not grass
[00:19:17] Like I'm fucking you planning on you being a child
[00:19:29] Yeah, she's not even at she just works she's the dishwasher at the club
[00:19:39] That's cool, that's yeah, it was yeah, I remember it was like um it was yeah
[00:19:47] This place peak rare that was well my feet was like he's like a classic jersey scumbag or he's got like his name tattooed on his back
[00:20:05] Yeah, and then he was hook up with whoever he's up with it. It's just like I
[00:20:10] Think he like said to her cuz I was just like too shy to do it of course like you know
[00:20:15] My boy wants to stick his tongue to her throat
[00:20:19] The Jersey wingman yeah, and then he took her his hand off her throat
[00:20:24] She agreed he showed her that the gun was a loaded
[00:20:28] And it was I you know the time I was like oh man, it was like my first you know
[00:20:32] I mean it was 16 to it had been like yeah long time for sure to go without so I was like excited
[00:20:38] And then the next day we were on the boardwalk and we're they had like trolleys like on the boardwalk
[00:20:45] It was like her and her friend behind and like me and Pete in the front
[00:20:49] And I was like feeling great and then her friend was like you think you're hot shit up there
[00:20:54] And I was like you know like not really but yeah, you know I don't know what this is capable of yeah
[00:21:04] And then and then yes she went she's 12
[00:21:21] Yeah, it's great. That's so funny. I had a friend
[00:21:25] Who he had a very shy friend, but he was much he was even more
[00:21:31] Aggressive than your friend. Uh-huh and he made this girl that he was sort of dating
[00:21:37] Suck his shy friend's penis. That's I mean wow and made he was like he was like clearly like
[00:21:45] I think she was like down because she was like you know a neighborhood hoe type of situation
[00:21:50] But the kid my friend who who's an anonymity I will protect was so scared
[00:21:56] And she just like sucked his limp dick. Yeah, most friend watched for like 45
[00:22:02] That was like hiding in the bushes being like this is wrong
[00:22:04] Yeah, that's happening to him to him and not me. I was like that was my buddy Joe Francis. Yeah, my buddy Joe said it all up for me cool guy
[00:22:23] Yeah, of course man like that's a no win. That's not good for anybody, but yeah
[00:22:29] The guy who shall remain nameless right right right right right right right right right?
[00:22:33] Nightmare for everybody else. Yeah, no he I think it was the biggest nightmare for him actually
[00:22:38] He was not enjoying it. Yeah, of course. I mean like a guy getting blown. That's just like he's like a polo
[00:22:44] They're both yeah. Yeah, that's almost like a way that you
[00:22:47] In like a fucked up way you meet the person you're gonna be with
[00:22:54] You know that's the way you meet somebody
[00:23:07] Critical disaster, you're like yeah, that's usually how you meet people that
[00:23:12] The best relationships are found on mutual trauma, we're not even sure who's raping me
[00:23:27] Getting right I think she was sucking off the whole crew and then and then he was like and he just couldn't stay hard
[00:23:35] And they were made fun for being like gay like what do you get or something? Oh my God?
[00:23:53] She sucked off two other guys I got never said it never been kisses never drank piss and Drew Barrymore goes back
[00:24:22] Black but she just goes back is like a pretty blonde
[00:24:25] Clearly a dumb white bitch undercover. I went to this high school 35 years ago back before this neighborhood
[00:24:39] All that in the movie is about her just wanting to get
[00:24:42] About the town turning that's my theme song
[00:25:13] Thank you everyone I will be recording that hey will you no probably not
[00:25:18] Honestly, but I want to oh boy. I feel feverish damn devilish
[00:25:34] Keep that dry-ass mouth you fucking piece of shit
[00:25:38] Now what are you gonna do bitch like to pretend I'm stranded in the desert
[00:25:44] That's I like to be dehydrated at all times you better keep doing that or else me and Anthony you're gonna make Adam suck your dick
[00:25:59] Adam have you guys ever had sex on a vacation situation as a youth on a vacation? Well, I'm not like with a girlfriend obviously summer
[00:26:10] My girlfriend went to an Airbnb and we had sex
[00:26:15] We never really went on vacation growing up
[00:26:17] We just went to visit my grandparents in San Diego
[00:26:20] Did you ever get head from like when I'd go to like summer camp and stuff? I get sucked off
[00:26:24] Yeah, I wish I went to Jewish summer camp dude everyone was sucking and fucking yeah, it was really it was really intense
[00:26:30] It was so unfair to you was kind of like from the staff and your parents and everyone it was like a wink wink don't fuck
[00:26:39] But it's like yeah, yeah, yeah fucking have Jewish babies and be trapped in this religion for the rest of your life
[00:26:45] Yeah, that would be awesome. I would should have gone undercover
[00:26:49] Actually, I don't think I've ever I've done a vacation smash. Yeah outside of like when tinder existed right right right easy
[00:26:56] But yeah, yeah, no way before I'm not the kind of guy. Yeah, just approach people on me neither, bro. I'd be like excuse me
[00:27:13] You're on the side of the bar just last week
[00:27:17] Spitting yeah, yeah like that guy we saw just somehow
[00:27:21] Like fearless and charming enough to talk in Tokyo that black dude who was just visiting he was like striking conversation up with us
[00:27:29] And we're like oh, that's a fun guy and then he just like was hitting on a Japanese woman who
[00:27:34] And it was working that's he was crushing it. What did he say? I don't fucking know was it working was he cross?
[00:27:40] Yeah, he was that bitch was like laughing and I mean that's why they always do that
[00:27:44] They always might have been laughing because they don't like black
[00:28:08] The restaurant sees it happening one of them's like quick read cold Paris
[00:28:11] I'm already on it and then he releases a pigeon out of the window
[00:28:18] I was thinking there's like a button for like underneath the counter like banks
[00:28:23] He writes a message inside of a box kite
[00:28:29] Yeah, the police officer shows up and he's got a siren strapped to the top of his head
[00:28:40] This must be serious they brought in the national car
[00:28:55] Damn all those like we were saved by the red lights district in Tokyo
[00:28:59] And they're all operated by African guys that are hanging out on the street operated by it
[00:29:05] Those guys are saw one group of African guys so
[00:29:13] But they're they're not ordered to stay because like Japan doesn't want foreigners to move there
[00:29:21] They get married through like organized crime. We find like seeing people like what do you mean those people? Oh blacks
[00:29:44] The Yakuza sets them up with wives they get married to Japanese women
[00:29:49] So then they're allowed to stay basically wait wait the Yakuza sets them up
[00:29:52] Yeah, because all those clubs are run by organized crime
[00:29:55] But why why doesn't the Yakuza just do it themselves? I don't get it either. Why do they need it cuz items lying?
[00:30:06] Because he doesn't know the actual truth behind this
[00:30:20] How dare you lie to you lie it's one thing to lie to me and Nick fine
[00:30:25] I do agree with this statement, but I guess
[00:30:29] Brainwashed Adam so much. It's like yeah, you guys are right. I wasn't even lying
[00:30:50] I'm being brainwashed by my Jewish brain
[00:30:55] Yeah, he's lathering up my nuts with pert plus and suck my dick
[00:30:59] It just feels good to be one of the guys
[00:31:03] Just one of the guys, but it's about Adam pretending to be a guy
[00:31:07] Those are one of that we've talked about this before that's Hitties at the end of that movie as big as titties
[00:31:11] Oh, yeah some floppies world-class. Yeah
[00:31:15] Love titties man. Honestly. Mm-hmm. Can I be honest for a second here boys? Yeah, keep it real. I do
[00:31:20] Love it. I love you know, I love craft macaroni and cheese really more than titties would you say at this point in my life?
[00:31:33] I'm very scared and I'm a peep. I'm a pineapple a piece of beans in the macaroni and cheese and pineapple baked beans
[00:31:47] Get it all of it and I eat it out of a boot
[00:31:55] Croutons craft macaroni and cheese baked beans sour patch kids all out of a cat's mouth
[00:32:00] Yeah, I have you ever had that coffee that it's like a cat or something shitting. Yeah, you have Starbucks
[00:32:19] Talk to them Nick louder for the people in the back
[00:32:26] People in the back sure we got deaf folks here
[00:32:42] The pastor comes in they set up like an aerial rig and he's like preaching like flying above the audience like flying
[00:32:51] Incredible dude, it's truly unbelievable
[00:32:53] Like hooked up to like a wireless mic and he's just like
[00:33:00] I only saw I just saw like on Twitter like the still of it and I didn't see like what it was
[00:33:05] That's what it is. He's preaching while like being lowered like he's like he's lady Gaga at the Super Bowl
[00:33:11] At times so it's unbelievable. It's just like a church in Pensacola. It's so good
[00:33:17] I gotta do that next time I do carolons. Yeah, that's a great idea
[00:33:24] You don't like it. You can get the fuck out bitch
[00:33:31] Spending all of the money you make that weekend
[00:33:34] Getting special thanks to Ariel Rick. Yeah, that's a great idea. Yep. That's so
[00:33:42] I would love that shit. I was always jealous of people
[00:33:50] Because they could they had that shit where they would like fly they had a problem. They got to fly. Yeah
[00:33:55] It was just a pulley. It was just a rope in a pulley, but I wanted that shit
[00:33:58] And I was also let's be honest too fat for that probably to fat Peter Pan
[00:34:25] Shot my cock off some reason my cock got like fucking
[00:34:29] You go to surgery to get your foot removed and like you wake up you have no dick. They're like yeah, we fucked up
[00:34:46] Dude that's honestly one I've never had that fear before but now I'll always be scared they're gonna chop
[00:34:52] You gotta get your like tooth put in you yeah
[00:35:03] I wrote a sketch where it's a guy that gets him a car accident
[00:35:05] He wakes up in the hospital and they're like there was like some pretty serious damage to your face
[00:35:10] But we were able to reconstruct your nose and then they like show him in the mirror and he's like well
[00:35:14] I guess it looks pretty good. They're like yeah
[00:35:15] We were actually able to use your penis to construct a new nose
[00:35:23] He's like no, what about turn it back into a dick. They're like we can't do that
[00:35:28] Every time he's turned on everybody knows
[00:35:36] You know what after my initial my knee jerk reaction was that would be really fucked up
[00:35:41] Yeah, take my cock but imagine a life where you don't want to fuck yeah
[00:35:45] Well, you're free of the fucking prison of wanting pussy. No, it's not it doesn't work because everyone else still wants to fuck me
[00:35:51] Just feel more isolated. No, I don't care. I don't give a fuck. I don't have so much time for fucking stop for crafts and activities
[00:35:58] You've done all the craft. I've done all the activities. No all you've done is play red dead
[00:36:03] You haven't even gotten into ropes yet. Yeah, I talk a lot about ropes. I've never seen you talk a lot about
[00:36:18] You're not a doer. It just admit it. Yeah, you're a talk. You're a sucker. I'm gonna get those ropes you fucking pieces
[00:36:28] Fuck you you won't like this is great 10 paracords the same the the
[00:36:33] Doing my bit from two years ago except what is it trying to repurpose a joke? I would do from two years ago
[00:36:40] Right, okay. Go ahead same kind of the army Rangers use go ahead set same kind of army Rangers. There you go
[00:36:50] Clearly it was I don't even know what's going on here, but
[00:36:52] You know you know what kind of ropes the army Rangers. That was a reference
[00:37:01] That's the kind of with what was it again, and you were you were stumbling over it like you were trying to remember something
[00:37:28] You should let me you could have let me die you kind of rescued me we know you were bombing you were you already had bombed
[00:37:42] That is true, that's the great irony. Yeah, it was actually many times you are bombing when you're stealing a bit
[00:37:47] Well when you're stealing a bit you can really crush that
[00:37:55] I listen to like five minutes of a magic the gathering podcasts or hell yes, and they just sound exactly like you think they would of course
[00:38:03] It's like so God great. Would you go up to this weekend?
[00:38:21] Do people by listen that shit right oh, yeah magic. You gotta be huge. I think the gathering is huge
[00:38:25] It still is huge. Yeah, Michael foodie would spend like 10 hours a day watching magic gathering on
[00:38:32] YouTube that's good. It wasn't even people playing with real cards
[00:38:36] It was a computer readout of the cards because people didn't want to bring
[00:38:43] Tournament so you have to prove you own the cards. I guess prove that you
[00:38:47] That's actually one of like the only uses for like Bitcoin blockchain technology really is digital versions of
[00:38:55] Magic cards trading card really wow there you go dude. Yeah, it'd be a million there dude
[00:39:01] Yeah in magic the gathering cards. There's some of those cards are worth like or well people will pay like 50,000 dollars for that's insane
[00:39:10] Fuck that is what be something being worth something is by the way you stopped yourself
[00:39:15] I mean you were like some of them are worth like well people will pay
[00:39:20] Yeah, but I mean it depends on like what the amount of demand for that thing is yeah if there's only five people
[00:39:27] I mean obviously yes, of course. That's how everything works. Yeah. Yeah, but obviously a fucking dumbass card doesn't isn't
[00:39:34] $50,000 worth of materials right unless it's made out of supple ass
[00:39:47] That is wild though dude what the fuck yeah, and it's funny that foodie watch this chick is foodie smarty shit
[00:39:53] This card in the time while he likes the game theory behind yeah. Yes more people are often dumb as shit
[00:39:59] Actually, it's just skeletons like going to lunge or something
[00:40:09] That's crazy. Yeah, I think there's one called like a black lotus. I think is the one that's like I think that sounds right
[00:40:16] You but how do you both know even anything about magic because I looked it up somewhat recently nice
[00:40:21] Everyone that played magic middle school had a little ass penis, so I never I stayed off
[00:40:33] The same card sold for 27,000 on eBay holy ultra rare beta deck black lotus is on eBay with an asking price of a hundred thousand
[00:40:43] God damn let's steal it get a Ferrari caper
[00:40:48] That guy like working his life to make a hundred thousand dollars and then spend it in that stupid
[00:40:53] Yeah, he's in a good-ass card like what does it do black lotus from the original set was sold on eBay for?
[00:41:00] $87,000 this was just a fucking Christ. Yeah what the magic still pop guys
[00:41:06] Let's do let's steal this shit. This is gonna be our caper. What get in the magic car
[00:41:10] No, no, no, we steal we do a heist I love that my like financial understanding of the world is the same as it was in fourth
[00:41:16] It was like dude if you charge art is worth it
[00:41:33] We're gonna get tired of this band white men
[00:41:38] America's gonna go back to being royalist like it was mid 90s the good old days
[00:41:42] Fucking princess Diana Beanie babies are gonna be worth it bill
[00:41:49] If you go on eBay right now people are selling those for big paper you see like hundreds of thousands yeah, oh wait Jesus Christ
[00:41:58] You're right first edition princess Diana be maybe forty four thousand dollars. Yeah, I thought they were worthless
[00:42:04] No, no, no, yeah, I'm for for I guess if the those who want to spend that much. Yeah, why do we keep
[00:42:17] On there doesn't mean anyone's paying. Yeah, okay. That's true asking price is different than you know, whatever. Yeah
[00:42:26] remember my grandma won one in like a raffle or something when I was a kid mm-hmm and
[00:42:31] And she was like, yeah, it was just something like dumb bear. I didn't like so I was like I don't want this
[00:42:37] I was like that's insane. That's hilarious, but you would just not take it. Yeah, it was a raffle obviously
[00:42:42] It was something yeah, you grandma would at least have that's ten if they're asking forty. Yeah, you could probably move for at least
[00:42:49] Back then it was like four five hundred dollars. Yeah, that's something. Yeah. Yeah, here we go. Yeah, the brand new one is
[00:42:56] Four thousand dollars, but it was eleven thousand and they lowered the price
[00:43:01] That's the princess. You know what they were probably hoping you could get big shit off it during the like here
[00:43:08] T. Y. Beanie baby princess bear from 97 rare and retired mint at seventeen dollars from this guy, okay?
[00:43:14] Should we buy one just yeah, I guess it's like maybe there's a difference in the which ones are yeah probably yeah
[00:43:26] That's not my fucking name. You don't probably you gay motherfucker Nick probably faggot. You're actually gay Nick. Good. I figured good
[00:43:46] Ripped people people in better shape who actually gay
[00:43:49] So suck you know like a gay guy why cuz you're more attractive. No, no
[00:44:02] They're all who's the gayest is there all with yeah
[00:44:06] Yeah guys with fucking beers with a nice natural mosque those guys are the games
[00:44:12] They look at you that there's the gayest guys in the world statin island fire fighters
[00:44:18] Look at you in your knees quiver. Yeah, those are the gay guys
[00:44:27] Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm stuck it's not like a gay guy that like climbs up trees
[00:44:49] That is sitting on a branch is in his ass every time we're like
[00:45:13] I don't know how I got covered in maple syrup
[00:45:15] Oh my god, I just need you to touch my body down from here
[00:45:32] That is that's a good fucking listen any gay guys out there
[00:45:47] My god, he's just like hanging a holding his eye with a limp wrist
[00:45:55] I'm allergic to ladder. Yeah, well, I accidentally kicked my ladder down
[00:46:11] I if only I was gay then I could use no like you're just doing this to waste city resources
[00:46:16] Then he's like oh my god. I hope the police don't have to come in manhandle me all the way to jail
[00:46:29] They just sees woman. Oh my god, I hope I'm not breaking the law
[00:46:33] I'm gonna get man handle all the way to jail he starts a fucking standoff cuz women cops come to arrest him
[00:46:58] And then no one kills a child. That's what you get bring those SWAT boys over here
[00:47:06] And then he becomes revered as a cop killer in jail
[00:47:11] And then he gets the fuck this is a perfect life, you know, yeah, I would call it a bit murder
[00:47:19] Get raped do it you die do that been sixth grade. It's like if you're a gay guy
[00:47:24] Why don't you just break the laws you can just get raped and jail. Yeah, I mean I am sure there are comics still doing that
[00:47:33] Something you consider as a comedian. It's like something you think of as a child. Yeah, that's an early one
[00:47:40] Yeah, which listen in fifth grade. That's a fucking banger. It crushes. That's a good one. Yeah, you're smart
[00:47:46] Yeah, very smart. That's such a good point. I heard Nick say that in fifth grade that I just started crushing with
[00:48:03] Which is actually somehow worse, I think
[00:48:08] Everyone's riffing in the perfect punchline enters into your head and you're like and half the words you like fuck
[00:48:15] I just I heard that guy someone said but you were just reaching for detail
[00:48:19] You were like how can I use this? Yeah, someone else scanning scanning other anecdotes other people have said with the word rope
[00:48:35] No, it's getting funnier person database for good things to say right now
[00:48:44] These other people's jokes and then the coin dropping sound from chatter
[00:48:47] Yeah, I'm gonna start caming because I'm in it for the coin sound
[00:49:12] Nick do you hear this the the in cells that are doxing
[00:49:18] Cam girls like to the iris snap chats and stuff to the IRS fucking
[00:49:27] Shaking their titties to make a fucking honest living. Yeah, you pieces of shit. Well, it's I mean it's also funny
[00:49:34] It's shitty, but it's also like people should be paying their tax. No fuck
[00:49:37] You don't get to know get to you don't get the fucking like say why isn't there free health care and then turn around and say some people
[00:49:43] Shouldn't have to okay because it cuz some bitch some beautiful woman who's shaking her titties is gonna pay like
[00:49:49] 500 bucks the IRS is the real problem. It's not the real problem, but also like yeah, you should be paying taxes
[00:49:56] Everything else goes out the window if you're like just not paying your fucking taxes
[00:50:00] I'm gonna let sex all of this all of that I feel like in my society
[00:50:03] If you have juicy ass titties and you want to shake them on a premium
[00:50:10] You know what Bezos is paying for that baby girl. We're double taxing Jeff for that shit
[00:50:15] So listen it nicks sexless fucking you know
[00:50:19] authoritarian no one gets to see titties you want to lock up the titties dude you want to make it financially
[00:50:26] Ridiculous to shake it is not it would not hurt anyone financially. Yes, it would girl
[00:50:30] I want to I want to get that money back into the community
[00:50:32] I want those girls buying outfits that the titties can pop out of with the money. They've saved on taxes. Yeah
[00:50:38] I mean also like we're incentivizing Amazon. We're giving them fucking billions to come over here
[00:50:44] That's also bad. I know what I'm saying is let's let's some fucking busty women or
[00:50:50] Little titty women with big asses. That's also possible
[00:50:55] Let that let's put some money back into their pockets. I think anyways taddling is wrong
[00:50:59] Taddling is way longer than those guys not paying taxes, but yeah
[00:51:05] It's funny to find out that a lot of sex workers are also libertarians basically. That's like what's coming out now
[00:51:10] I was like oh hell no. I'm not gonna of course
[00:51:12] Yeah, it was a fucking that cuz that's like you are you are literally a fucking hypocrite if you think oh I why shouldn't have to contribute
[00:51:18] Anything. Yeah, nothing. You're just not gonna pay any taxes on that income once you figure out how to fucking deduct something
[00:51:24] Right, you know, I'm like sorry the system isn't yeah
[00:51:27] It would look hot doesn't do your taxes for you, but sure you know if you really are operating at a fucking loss
[00:51:33] You can write that shit off figure out how to do a schedule C and do it yourself
[00:51:38] I would like to see it's just fucking sex workers with a little green cap
[00:51:47] Because it starts it starts it literally it starts there and it scales up, you know like let's say okay
[00:51:52] Well, then you get some success and you are making serious money. That's how you turn into like some upper class
[00:51:56] Our put middle class piece of shit. That's like all right. I worked hard. Nobody helped me. Uh-huh. It says that's literally how it fucking
[00:52:03] I don't think people have to pay taxes and they don't want to as soon as there's like a burden attached to their fucking ideology
[00:52:08] Or they have to pay money for it, right?
[00:52:11] I mean obviously I agree with you that you should pay your taxes and I was you know joke about tears or whatever
[00:52:14] But I don't think like that's how you become one of those pieces. It's absolutely sex workers
[00:52:19] Those are those I mean I'm most people who have like, you know
[00:52:23] I guess progressive ideas about and any kind of like oh, right any any entitlement program or whatever
[00:52:28] They start making money. They don't want to pay the tax
[00:52:30] I mean comics do it as a joke where they're like I guess I'm a Republican now and it's like well
[00:52:34] Yeah, probably you are yeah, and you're gonna turn into one yeah, cuz people just don't want to pay fucking taxes
[00:52:39] Yeah, I'm paying my fat taxes, dude. Yeah, that shit that shit hurts my pockets
[00:52:45] But I pay my taxes so that sex workers don't have to and that's my take yeah, man
[00:52:50] I love so girls if you're out there and you want to float a couple
[00:52:54] Free samples of your work over to my inbox
[00:52:57] Just go ahead and do that and I will fight for your right to never pay taxes
[00:53:01] Yeah, apparently also that the in cell guys think that there's a finders fee
[00:53:14] We do do it you know there's a character's like man go get some pussy, but honestly just try and fuck man
[00:53:22] It would solve so many of your problems. They're really yeah, they're really mad
[00:53:25] I don't know a lot of those guys can't fuck they can fuck somebody dude
[00:53:28] You should not be able to fuck and you almost turned gay first of all it was two years ago first of all
[00:53:32] I was always able to fuck just not at the clip that I wanted to back me up on this
[00:53:58] Heroes, pillars of our community died being crushed by a fat day, man.
[00:54:15] I guess I agree with Nick, you should tattle.
[00:54:20] I guess I agree with Nick and Adam and I think you should tattle.
[00:54:33] I was dating a man named Marcus for a while.
[00:54:36] You were like, we should have had sex, please.
[00:54:48] I've already had sex with myself a broke money for my son.
[00:54:52] it was all so much mandated to clean up opioid analysis.
[00:55:13] And I was saying that I'm losing out on free
[00:55:18] You know free sex free sex. Yeah, if yeah, I was gonna start taking a
[00:55:23] What's that thing in math called? Yeah?
[00:55:40] I was looking for absolute value, but it doesn't matter
[00:55:44] I don't care anymore. I would I would still look up with a hot trans
[00:55:52] I was on record saying that yeah, that's how broken you were for not being able to fuck that it
[00:55:58] I was going to a breakup you motherfucker was like I couldn't fuck
[00:56:01] Well, I've been there you get broken up with to turn gay
[00:56:07] What the fuck what you really gonna start
[00:56:29] Would fuck a tranny. I still I would that's gay. No, that is gay. I'm fine
[00:56:35] If that's gay, then I'm gay. What do you want me to? I actually I think I want you to say I think on the pie as I said
[00:56:40] I would get sucked off by a man if he was cute enough. Yeah, and I was the class the question that we posed
[00:56:48] Buck angel? Oh, I'm saying. Oh, I'm saying it's like what's her name?
[00:56:53] Bailey J the answer with in cells isn't like just go fuck because it's like so obviously well, but then they wouldn't be in cells
[00:57:00] Yeah, but make efforts motherfucker to try and fuck it's like well a lot of the fatish
[00:57:05] What efforts have you ever made? Are you fucking kidding me? My whole my whole life is an effort to try and fuck everything I do
[00:57:12] Is all right? Yeah, but you know, I got you know money to fuck if honey is the only one you know
[00:57:20] Because I don't need you because I'm I'm funny enough to not but if I could if I wasn't funny
[00:57:24] I would work out the listen you got funny to fuck or you just got funny as a defense mechanism and
[00:57:29] Works out. That's the same thing. It works out before you can fuck. It's being liked is essentially
[00:57:35] Getting your tooth put back in your hands because I think it's funny
[00:57:39] Because now I've gotten to the point where I want to I'm thumbing my nose
[00:57:43] Now it's like how fucking ugly cat how good is my personality?
[00:57:47] I should have thought interesting with all
[00:57:50] Works I don't buy that you've done any self-improve. I have though, bro
[00:57:54] Anytime I like the only in college when I didn't fuck I couldn't fuck at all
[00:57:59] I lost a ton of weight got a girlfriend got fat again, but like that I did try and lose weight
[00:58:04] I did fucking you know try to dress better. I did shit like that when there was a pussy drought because I was get
[00:58:10] I was going fucking crazy. All right. I mean I didn't know you that yeah
[00:58:13] You did I've known balding doing nothing about it. Yeah, tooth gone doing nothing about it
[00:58:18] Because I got the fuck off of comedy basically and at that point like even recently
[00:58:24] It's like like I hooked up with somebody I was like and I'd like you know try to work
[00:58:28] You try to like eat a little better, but it was like the day after I fucked I was like
[00:58:33] What am I doing eating a salad? I just had sex
[00:58:37] I'm getting Popeyes literally that's the only reason I want to like recently
[00:58:42] I started getting headaches when I woke up just from like
[00:58:45] Being too fat I think and that's like all right
[00:58:48] Maybe I need to check things out sure but like other than that other than literally feeling like my body is going to die right soon
[00:58:55] If it wasn't for fucking I would be fat as shit and I wouldn't care at all
[00:58:59] I'll be even fatter than this if you can wrap your brain around that. I remember dude
[00:59:03] You were a hundred pounds heavier when we met yeah, I was it was brutal
[00:59:08] Tonshoot was that shit was so funny. Yeah, I was truly fat. Yeah, it was a tough time more hair though
[00:59:15] You did have more hair. No, I had the same amount here. I just cut it short
[00:59:18] I remember think I remember being like drunk and watching you like getting your car and being like damn
[00:59:25] I was one of those motherfuckers were like you get in the car. It's a real dip. It's a
[00:59:30] No, it's a whole day and it's leaning it's leaning on the fucking driver
[00:59:37] Like it's always taking a sharp ass turn. That's what it looked like when I'm getting my car
[00:59:43] Yeah, but those days are behind us and I am just
[00:59:47] Unfortunately those days are behind us and we can never go back. That was a great year
[00:59:51] That was a good year. It literally was a great year. It might be the best year of my life. No joke
[00:59:56] I probably was the happiest. Yeah, cuz that's the year. I really got good at stand-up
[01:00:00] And we're just like I was doing it all the time. I didn't care about anything else
[01:00:03] That was the year I started doing again just cuz like I liked it like every
[01:00:06] Montreal and all that shit and I was like yeah burned out and then yeah
[01:00:10] Just doing it going a sidebar every fucking month. That was a fun year, bro. Yeah, you were in Baltimore for a year
[01:00:17] Seven eight months. Yeah, I remember that which I was only I was only you your mom
[01:00:22] Yeah, and then I was only back for like ten months total. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
[01:00:29] Yeah, I mean it was like a very ten months. Yeah, that was it dude. It was a short period of time
[01:00:33] You're saying in DC a lot when you were dating game. Yeah, but I mean total yet
[01:00:38] I mean total yeah, it was ten months. No, I had to be more than I was only ten months and then I was I've been in New York since
[01:00:47] 20 because it's that's the other thing for me
[01:00:50] That's the other thing too is I think about how long I've been in New York and it's like way longer in my head
[01:00:55] I want to feel like it's like what 2013 2014 something like that for you. Yeah. Yeah 2013. Yeah. Yeah, I moved three years ago
[01:01:02] I mean it's 2014. Yeah, I've been here five years. Yeah, we gotta go we got the show
[01:01:07] We do this a fucking fun one too. You got to come back fat Tony. Yeah, man. I'm here
[01:01:11] There's been a good one. We'll argue more about our sexuality around you
[01:01:18] The truth coming to light you're the one by the way you says you watch black guys fuck girls and think about being the girl
[01:01:25] I've never said you just said that over the last week show. He's like he's like sometimes I watch his website
[01:01:31] We're black guys fuck girls that look like me and I pretend that I'm the girl
[01:01:37] Listen to the rat dude cast listen to the rat dude cast everyone
[01:01:41] Oh, yeah, yeah subscribe if you subscribe to subscribe to these motherfuckers
[01:01:46] They're funny shit. We've had everyone on at this point Greg Stone
[01:01:49] Big fat Tony right here. We are boy fucking
[01:01:53] fucking Brendan air. I can't believe I was forgot my Marcus Garvey was Marcus Garvey's the fourth
[01:02:05] I like you go through like these neighborhoods and it's like they have like MLK
[01:02:09] And welcome Max and Marcus Garvey. Yeah, yeah, yeah, next one's just like Christopher Dorna Avenue
[01:02:19] And if you are in DC this weekend I'm fucking coming to the draft house the seventh and the eighth
[01:02:25] And then I'm in indie Cincinnati Columbus
[01:02:28] Cleveland the net 13th through the 16th and then I will be announcing my tour soon
[01:02:33] I'm doing a whole bunch of shit in January and then it's all called me in LA on the second at the lodger
[01:02:42] Second effect and I'll be performing in Paris at the top of the Eiffel town
[01:02:45] They could be sitting on the Eiffel town would be calling French firefighters
[01:02:53] I also just want to say I did not say that I
[01:02:57] Pretend it's Adam said that and that's the show. Thank you everyone Adam said he
[01:03:06] Did say that absolutely said Adam said it Adam said it and it was Adam Adam said it was Adam
[01:03:13] Adam said it dot com said it dot com said it dot com
[01:03:16] That domain he wants to fuck black eyes put that register that domain then include a link to the it would be my honor