Cum Town | Premium | 12/24/2018
[00:00:00] And we're off welcome to come town. We have a special guest today Tim Dylon. Thank you
[00:00:06] Adams classic bit of saying saying a thing the wrong way. Thank you very much Adam
[00:00:10] I appreciate the opportunity. It was a reference to the shapel show a bit
[00:00:15] I'm sorry. I paid that man to hit you. Oh, I'm sorry
[00:00:23] Yeah, don't get me started on the alley McBeal CGI baby, you know
[00:00:28] I'll be all got great when they brought John Bon Jovi on to the show
[00:00:32] Listen, man. I'll make bill had some great fucking moments. I saw JBJ in the first moments great pair tits
[00:00:45] Talking about great moments great bazotits
[00:00:48] Mimi Bobak. Would you fucker wood myself first unisex bathroom on television was
[00:00:53] That real basic absolutely. Yeah, everyone's shit in a me bebo X pussy drew and then D trick
[00:01:00] The other one the one from who's on the concrete was played not calm mockery
[00:01:05] I'm not played Oscar not calm but Ryan style
[00:01:08] Played played like Oswald. Yeah, and then the other one is a office space
[00:01:13] I was oh no D trick was named the actor. Oh, yeah, the next door neighbor in office space none of the court cases made any sense
[00:01:19] On Ali McBeal every core case was like ridiculous. I never saw Ali McBeal ever in my life
[00:01:24] Yeah, I found a weird that Harrison Ford smashed Callista flock. He's the other big joke. She was anorexic. He's fucking he's a king
[00:01:33] I that's what I mean. I would he wouldn't smash her. I was like an anorexic
[00:01:38] I think an older you know man wants to fuck a lady with bigger just a heftier
[00:01:43] Well, not hefty, but I don't know as you age you want a sturdier woman in your life
[00:01:48] Well, he likes he wanted to look at young boy someone with hips and no titties
[00:01:52] Yeah, you know a real milf you switch to the milf category of woman. Yeah, like a thick kind of yeah
[00:01:58] He did not do that. No, no, he went he went anorexic. Yeah out of the clinic
[00:02:09] Just like do toast and warm water for the first couple of days get your system back
[00:02:14] That's what he liked just sliding that dick right into her innards
[00:02:19] No resistance rearranging those guts. Yeah
[00:02:26] With semen we will start with semen a teaspoon of semen a day
[00:02:32] We'll move on a solid food by the end of the week
[00:02:35] Seaman and then soup. Yeah a warm warm water with a chicken bone in it. That's my
[00:02:53] He's a dude that I feel like got away with any me too if Harrison Ford me too do you were like that's awesome
[00:03:04] Yeah, if you wanted to fuck Harrison Ford you sort of wanted him to fucking yeah
[00:03:08] You know throw your running a leather jacket you wanted him to grab you in the back of a car and this is happening now
[00:03:14] The accident played short rounds is like he raped me repeated
[00:03:20] Listen kid that's just something that fucking happens
[00:03:25] Yeah, that's what the president does he didn't get sexed in though. He was a carpenter, right?
[00:03:31] That's like one of those like a bullshit urban legend. I think
[00:03:35] You want to tell the story a serious urban legend ever first of all
[00:03:38] I know you're saying like the way people like Ronnie Dangerfield didn't do comedy till he was yeah
[00:03:46] He was an actor inside job was being a carpenter. Yeah, yeah
[00:03:50] He didn't even know he could act but it helped him out that guy a guardians of the galaxy though was like kind of just a guy
[00:03:56] Who lived in a van and quiet? Yeah, I think so no and then he met he was working nope
[00:04:01] He was on some TV when he was 19 20 years old
[00:04:04] He was on the WV show his career dwindled and then no he was always like there's nobody that like accidentally got into acting
[00:04:11] Yeah, everybody's that's beautiful anyway some weird character actors maybe I could see that
[00:04:16] But like some guy that's just a leading man type motherfucker well Jonah Hill was Dustin Hoffman's kids babysitting. Mm-hmm. That's true
[00:04:25] I'm not a Hollywood kid to no no his parents were in industry. Yeah, I love he's a town to do it
[00:04:31] I'm just saying sometimes you know I fuck with Jonah Hill
[00:04:34] I remember seeing him when he plays that super fat kid in 40 year old virgin
[00:04:39] Yeah, and literally being like damn or trying to return a fat ass kid. Yeah. Yeah, I want to be a fat ass
[00:04:45] Child in a fucking movie on a hill was the inspiration for a lot of morbidly obese kids to not get help right here, bro
[00:04:53] You're looking at you just get to just get a fat isn't popular until you're already like 18 9 no
[00:04:58] Superbad was when I was like 16. You know first of all 40 year old virgin came out when I was in sophomore sophomore
[00:05:05] I was 20 when she read came out. No. Yeah, well. Yeah, that's a very was on
[00:05:13] Here's the point it's off where you're at a time when I could have been transitioning into my
[00:05:21] Fat fat puberty doesn't happen till you're 19
[00:05:25] You don't even it slows down all your hormones and all that other stuff and you're not even a sexual being in any
[00:05:31] And then you're not even a teenager after fat puberty. You're a man. Yeah
[00:05:38] This was so funny. It was like, you know, that's me. We're all 17 together and then suddenly like Eric's 38
[00:05:44] Yeah, dude. I've looked like a 40 year old diner owner since I was like dude
[00:05:49] I was 22. I would show up to school people be like someone's dad
[00:05:58] As soon as puberty was over I was just meanwhile like I'm 30 and I could look 15 with a couple of like costume changes
[00:06:05] Yeah, maybe just clean up my face. I don't know additions for 60
[00:06:11] W meal send me on like and they're they're just like yeah
[00:06:14] There's the age range unimportant because they don't want to admit it and I'll ask people in the room
[00:06:18] I'm like what is this character? They're like 40 50s
[00:06:24] Embarrassing yeah, yeah, he's just a fat drug at former drug addict
[00:06:32] Yeah, so they just want you to look into the camera and scream and I'm like, yeah, all right
[00:06:35] I'll do that and then I'm like, thanks for having me of course good to be here
[00:06:40] Well Adam weren't you telling me that the guy who played Frank's Abaca in the wire was like 29
[00:06:46] Yeah, yeah, he was just bald. Yeah, he just sucks shit
[00:06:50] That's happened to me where I had played the older brother on Hannah Montana. You're supposed to be like 16
[00:06:56] I remember what's his name Tommy McNamara was like, yeah, I'm 24 years old. No, he's old. He's probably lying
[00:07:03] I think he's probably six probably he's got a dad's fat puberty. That's fat puberty right there. Yeah, and it's not even that fat
[00:07:10] It's just not used to be fat. It's like that Mike McCrae's way because I remember he's the same age as Chris
[00:07:16] They should have a separate thing in school for fat puberty. Absolutely. Take you in a room
[00:07:20] They're like listen you get the fuck 32 year old women. Yeah, there's your virginity to their your teenage years
[00:07:27] I hung out at a bar. This is true at 11th grade. I swear to god being this other guy named Paul
[00:07:32] Hom cow hung out at a martini lounge called the baby grand
[00:07:37] Okay, we were never carded. It was all adults in Long Island cheating on their wives and me and Paul Hom cow
[00:07:45] Six-bit right olds never carded who would drink gin. It's like
[00:07:50] Wow, that's fat puberty. Yeah, that's what happened to me cuz it it kicked in late for me
[00:07:54] I looked yeah, I was but 2021 it's like I went from everyone thinking I was like 13
[00:07:59] Yeah to everyone being like I would say my age they're like what and then you realize baby fat is just then disgusting
[00:08:06] Yeah, oh, yeah, like baby fat just becomes
[00:08:09] Repulsive fat yeah overnight. It's just like oh it was cute. Yes, and now I'm literally and now no one wants to fuck me
[00:08:15] Yeah, everyone was from pinching your cheeks to not wanting to suck now. I can't fly without being an issue
[00:08:23] Then there's also like things that happen to fat people like when you've been fat your whole life like look at how
[00:08:28] Stoves earlobes are horizontal. Yeah, what do you mean? They go at a point?
[00:08:34] I think that's a bad thing because you're so fat
[00:08:43] It's fat is stop I know we're brothers and being fat. I'm just Tom taller. Yeah, I guarantee your body fat percentage is slightly lower
[00:09:00] I don't know I don't know you're low pushing. Yeah, that's true. No, it is
[00:09:04] I think if my years would be as fucked as stops. You're stop stops your point stop trying to drive a wedge in the fat community
[00:09:13] All right, let me simplify this they both should be dead
[00:09:17] Either one of them should exist on the record. Yeah, I'm starting to get an animal like emaciated. Yeah, yeah
[00:09:25] Muscular I'm I'm a smooth little you're a Jewish boy from a sleepover. Yeah, yeah
[00:09:31] That's the kids that I would have sleepovers. That's also that's also Tim's internet search history
[00:09:46] Dad locks to his boys from the sleep over. Yeah, how to fuck a child
[00:09:55] That one sentence would turn that from the worst to the best
[00:09:58] Unbelievable. Yeah, it's not funny if it was disowned your dark daughter
[00:10:06] How to dis invite your dark daughter from we should literally be
[00:10:10] Australia man we could be you guys see Demi Lardner when you were in no they brought her up
[00:10:16] They were like do you know who she is? She's pretty big. That's so funny. We do it
[00:10:21] Socks and sandals. Yeah, it's just crazy in a country that big
[00:10:25] It just like yeah, we don't really have like we don't really have entertainment population. It's like 30 people living on Australia
[00:10:31] Yeah, that's true more people live in Tokyo, right? Yeah, yeah, a lot of it
[00:10:36] But it's great observation people lose term. Yeah
[00:10:44] Credits live in Tokyo Australians are big motherfuckers to yeah, they're well
[00:10:49] They're just I mean I I've not been there
[00:10:51] I know you guys have been there, but isn't the climate just conducive to like being outside and being a person. Yeah, it's nice
[00:10:58] Yeah, it was really nice. I think Melbourne gets I liked Australia a lot. That's why I'm saying we move there
[00:11:03] We become we get we become Australian TV stars. Yeah, that's the thing though is like their comedy is shitty
[00:11:09] Yeah, but they all like that shitty comedy. So in your head you're like, oh, you could just move to Australia
[00:11:14] You the best comment. Yeah, but they already have their best comic. It's somebody that isn't funny
[00:11:19] And they like there and do good jokes and they're like, yeah, this is not really it
[00:11:23] Why don't you say like yeah, you know, I went to the store, but it was closed. Phew not more die
[00:11:36] Going to go to go it's like Cody is like the only one that's like there's a few yeah
[00:11:41] It's like we have like a white trash friend and they love like McDonald's and you're like I'll take it Peter Lugers
[00:11:47] And then they you they go. They're like this is okay, but
[00:11:53] It's like if you looked at American comedy and it's like who are best comics are if I if I wasn't an American
[00:12:00] And I saw Amy Schumer and people were like this is the best comic in America. I'd be like oh comedy in America
[00:12:05] It's garbage, right? Yeah, I'd be like this is fucking absolute shit. Oh, so you think they have like oh
[00:12:10] I see like the late the level underneath where you're not a superstar. Yeah, good comic
[00:12:16] Yeah, but we haven't we just only know never pops off. They just don't care about those right?
[00:12:20] Yeah, it's not a bright right and it's probably not a huge thing over there. I mean comedy's dead
[00:12:27] Getting into comedy now would be like buying crazy coin and J.
[00:12:32] playing putting in tens of thousands right when there's a when there's a list called the best
[00:12:37] Comedy specials on Netflix and there's one hemming and hawing about how Chris Rock was just okay whereas some woman whose name
[00:12:44] I can't even pronounce did a special not in English right about like what it's like
[00:12:49] I don't know by watermelon and favela. Yeah, and you know this is the best one
[00:12:55] I've said right right well it's somebody is people write about comedy now was a job. I didn't even know that was a job
[00:13:00] That's an insane idea that was a job when like things were good. That's something too
[00:13:04] I'm like you can't write an article about comedy. There's a million people in media now
[00:13:08] And there's not enough media jobs so they create bullshit to pay attention to right and then these meat like Mike goes out
[00:13:14] Of business and they're all like this is the abuses of like capitalism. It's like no
[00:13:18] It's a shitty company. I was in a I was in an audition for a comedy
[00:13:21] There's way too many fucking media and all the dudes in the audition room were people that write about comedy
[00:13:27] Yeah, I'm like what what you guys are blue checkmarks on Twitter that like write like hey
[00:13:33] 10 things 10 times Amy Schumer was racist and I'm like oh your audition to be a correspondent on this
[00:13:41] Socks failed comics right a lot of them there. I guess they're they're failed comics, but they're also like you're also a failed journal
[00:13:51] There's no there's no but they're also financially successful at it's
[00:13:56] Occasionally when they can figure out a way to brand. Yeah, because sometimes they can figure out a way to brand
[00:14:07] publication the guy from the New York Times is like always writing about like how hard it is to be a comedy
[00:14:13] I'm like is this insane like is this what world is this?
[00:14:19] The criticism of comedy is beyond bullshit. I mean it's absurd. Yeah, but whatever
[00:14:25] I only want to hear Brett Kavanaugh's opinion
[00:14:30] He would like to show you like just watch Judge dread, but Judge Brett would be even better
[00:14:36] Judge Brett was got to know I want to be Judge Brett. Yeah, I want to do fat Terminator
[00:14:46] Nurds and the garbage cans he was hammered all the time. I was like oh this guy. That sounds cool
[00:14:51] Yeah, this guy is you know who understands power in society who should wield it right right?
[00:15:01] I don't want those garbage nerd people sitting on a corner who should be making decisions a
[00:15:09] That's you should be deciding what's fair. Yeah
[00:15:15] Yeah, we did just watch judge dread we were gonna put on a dredge
[00:15:19] Drum stretch is dread. We were gonna podcast an hour and a half ago
[00:15:23] But the movie got on and what do you do? It's a great movie not watch a whole movie man for no fucking reason
[00:15:29] We also are gonna do the Christmas album probably
[00:15:32] It's an aspiring movie because you're like I now you go. I want to write a movie
[00:15:37] Yeah, I would love to write a movie like that. That would be great 70% of it is just sound effects
[00:15:42] Yeah, yeah, yeah in parentheses goes goes squish
[00:15:48] I mean there is like a story and a lot does yeah, sure in dread. Yeah, no dude
[00:15:54] You the story you could say and like the rave. Yeah, it is basically like the ray
[00:15:58] Yeah, yeah, you know I mean that's a lot of action. Yeah
[00:16:01] You could the treatment for that would be like two pages long. It's not like you
[00:16:06] You you you just kind of like last action hero and stuff. I love that. I love that
[00:16:11] I'm sorry. Was he asking you the question Adam?
[00:16:15] I think I felt like I was being looked at
[00:16:23] May I answer the question no you may not go ahead answer the question Nick
[00:16:36] Ask an answer why don't you answer Adam? Have you ever seen you like the movie right out?
[00:16:40] I loved it as a kid. Okay. All right now Nick. How about you? I have a game
[00:16:44] No, no, no, no, no, well now the conversation is moved on Nick. How about you? Oh now he's sold how old were you when that came out?
[00:16:55] Yeah, well that's not yeah, what came out when you're like 15 or 16
[00:17:07] Watch it. Did you watch it with another friend? First of all I was your best friend like a friend
[00:17:13] You kind of guy you could keep secrets you keep secrets with forever Tim Tim you would have loved I know
[00:17:19] I'm a Jewish summer camps. Let me tell you right now
[00:17:21] He's trying to deflect from him being the victim
[00:17:33] Just pan sings and a lot of proto homo erotic how many guys cocks did you see it Jewish summer?
[00:17:40] We everyone saw a little Julie Cox little white privilege
[00:17:49] Oh, yeah, heterosexual man. Do Jewish men are so offended. I was life-granted abuse club. Yeah, Jewish men
[00:17:55] I'm not even gay are full-on gay. Yeah Jewish men are full on you like a Jewish guy
[00:18:03] Stop with the weather. Yeah, my wife's coming at one with the kids. I'm like your wife
[00:18:09] He's like I'm he's wearing like a weird calf time
[00:18:12] Like you know like the pool shoes. He's covered unevenly with sunscreen
[00:18:19] He's gonna like globs of sunscreen all over him. Yeah, he's like can we just get a little bit of rain just something to cool me
[00:18:25] Oh, I'm like oh you're you're homosexual. He's not we were just a wealthy Jewish man
[00:18:31] Yeah, right. We're at a party. Oh, I have the posture of a desk lamp to yes. Yes
[00:18:36] Because they're they go through a different kind of puberty. It's not fat puberty. It's like you puberty
[00:18:40] Where it's like you get really hot or you just become an like a gay man with AIDS
[00:18:51] But they don't die they just get richer and they stay around
[00:18:57] They come in and got lesions on their face. Oh, this is a so like no, it's the Sun too much Sun
[00:19:03] God I need some tuna. Yeah, we were at a party this week and there were these two construction workers from Queens
[00:19:09] That's right telling you guys. That's right. What happened then I left I left to go you and those guys
[00:19:17] Some cool in their work van I left like five minute
[00:19:22] No, they were like that would be by line. Yo, I got a van
[00:19:28] They did ask me they're like yo you want to go to Whitestone and like get a bag and like rail lines the rest of the night
[00:19:34] Yeah, you were about to get spit roast. No, I wasn't no no, but then like I let you think would have happened if you went to
[00:19:43] No, those guys those guys were like there they were not homosexual
[00:19:50] They just wanted to hang out with you and do
[00:19:53] I'm gonna get a rough next our oil workers, right? I don't know. It's a it's a mean something you can't just say words
[00:20:00] Because you think they mean something so they were just they were just tough
[00:20:04] He's just thinking about the way how their grip would feel on his neck tired of this
[00:20:24] All right, so you and these I left no I left and then
[00:20:27] One of them goes up to Dasha like right after I leave no like hey give
[00:20:31] You want to give Mickey your number like the other the other construction worker
[00:20:36] And she was like getting caught she was like I did I date that Jew and he's like I've never met a Jew
[00:20:45] You know listen and then him and Dasha kind of he took went to the work van
[00:20:49] He had some cool stuff to show her. She didn't what kind of party that's where she's at right now
[00:20:52] Didn't you say you left that amber's how do you know you left didn't you know it because amber lives across the street from me?
[00:20:59] Oh, but the ladies and gentlemen of the jury I plan to set aside
[00:21:03] Some of your time today to prove that Adam's girlfriend is in fact cucking
[00:21:10] I know you're saying you have this young black man. You're trying to defend in a murder case
[00:21:14] Why would you waste time doing this? It's because I'm a public defender and I have lost interest in my job
[00:21:20] I would much rather humiliate my friend then fix his man who was broken since birth
[00:21:32] So what you know what I don't care on 2019 you know what there was a new polyamory article that dropped today
[00:21:40] Oh, what you know what that's what we need. Yeah, just look to dr. Warner
[00:21:44] They said that it's the most radical act or like really radical act fucking more than one person is radical
[00:21:50] That was the wow everything that happens now is a radical act to resist Trump
[00:21:55] It used to just be fucking people to watch your wife give fuck to resist Trump
[00:22:02] I saw a couple years ago that was like being fat is literally a rat. Well, it is
[00:22:07] Yeah, thank you. No, it's by definition not an act. Yeah, it's a radical. I'll tell you right now
[00:22:12] It's an action. It's an absence of radical action. No, it is where I'm taking on big oil
[00:22:17] The best thing is like every now and then I will read uh the twitter thread of that
[00:22:22] Of course the conglomerate of canola. Oh, yeah, how much
[00:22:25] I'm basically trying to ingest all the oil
[00:22:30] Ever had like a fat activist no like a twitter like don't be a fat activist who's like
[00:22:37] Or any of them, but there's some of them that are so extreme where they're like if if someone loses weight
[00:22:40] They're infringing there that's a little Tom
[00:22:43] Perpetuating an unhelp an unhealthy body stereotype. Yeah that harms me. Yeah, if you lose way
[00:22:54] It's the craziest thing in the world. So it's just like oh just be fat stay fat. Yeah, okay
[00:22:58] I know it's weird when they're like yeah that Lindy article that was like fat people
[00:23:04] And it's like just what kind of weird universe you've eaten yourself into
[00:23:08] Yeah, but you've gone you've gone through a hole in the back of the pantry and wound up in some kind of fat narnia
[00:23:14] Yeah, we're other people. That sounds good other. Yeah, I want to go to fat
[00:23:24] Me stop and Lindy are in that fucking sled with the white whip absolutely and it is not moving fast
[00:23:30] I do remember learning about truffles from the line the witch in the morning
[00:23:33] The lion as a whole. Yeah, what is truffles were I was like, what is this?
[00:23:39] Turkish delight. I literally asked my mom to buy Turkish delight when I read that book
[00:23:43] You didn't forget that you forget that I'm a double-ager. You used to be fat. Yeah, yeah, you used to be fat
[00:23:50] Yeah, but it I was my personality. Sorry, man
[00:23:52] I was but too many informative years having sex and not being fat. Yeah, you fucked at like 13
[00:23:58] It doesn't matter. That's not true. But it's like it's also
[00:24:01] No, it does it does do something to yourself esteem for sure. I'm with you on that one where it's like you'll never
[00:24:09] Be cool as a person was never fat. Yeah, right. You'll never have that confidence like I know fat kids that are now thin that are like
[00:24:16] Insufferable because they're trying too hard. Yeah, and it's like oh, you're still a fat kid inside. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you always hate yourself
[00:24:23] That's an evil that that is a real evil always yourself
[00:24:26] And you don't even have the like the escape of because then people are like oh well that person's like just attractive or
[00:24:33] You know not bad looking or whatever and you can't be like I'm the big fat guy, you know like I'm
[00:24:38] You know I was a hot kid and then a fat kid and that's rough. Oh, that is going from a hot kid
[00:24:44] That's very much a fat kid. I was like fat from the get-go and then it got worse and
[00:24:50] You should always start off fat. You should never start off hot. Yeah, if you start off hot
[00:24:53] Yeah, you got to either stay hot or it's over. Yeah, it's really I know I agree
[00:24:58] If you're a hot eight-year-old which I was yeah 11 you're either hot or it's over you're done
[00:25:04] That happened to me too, but I just got ugly. Yeah. Yeah, I was gorgeous
[00:25:09] Did you ever get molested either you get molested?
[00:25:11] I was never molested and I regret it and it's something that I look back and think
[00:25:16] Every pedophile in my neighborhood was so fucking asleep
[00:25:19] Yeah, because I was hot as fuck. Yeah, I was in the I was a child actor my parents because they're just so unmotivated
[00:25:28] Should have been pimping me out all over LA. That's so true. They should have been just throwing me in pools
[00:25:36] Suck your way out of the deep end. Yeah, it's like some documentary about child abuse or whatever in hollywood and then they interview parents
[00:25:43] They're like I thought that that's what he wanted
[00:25:46] He always said he wanted to go in the pool. He loved the pool
[00:25:53] Singer at six years old he knew who brian singer was he was a special boy
[00:25:58] Said mom. I need some glitter. Yeah trying to be in the next eczema
[00:26:03] I want to do the flashback when they're doing wolverine as a baby. It was an audition
[00:26:07] Me and it was an overnight audition. I thought that's what it was like I thought there's all these parents at lupraman
[00:26:13] Yeah, they were like we thought that's what it was like we brought all of our kids to this sweaty fat guy in that airplane hanger
[00:26:20] And a blimp and he watched him dance around and then he picked a few of them and he goes
[00:26:23] Well now we're gonna go to my house for a week and we're like
[00:26:27] Oh, he must really like our son. We thought well, that's hollywood. I guess
[00:26:34] We were in the backwoods of florida, but we just thought that's
[00:26:37] Yeah, that must be hollywood. We're gonna take a little cruise to international waters. Yeah, you didn't have an audition
[00:26:44] Yeah, I auditioned for a movie and one of those hallways that only security guards are allowed to use in the ball
[00:26:54] And you know we just we had the best of intentions
[00:27:00] Damn dude, it's amazing. It's amazing. That guy just got away with it right lupraman never went to fuck
[00:27:06] Dude lupraman if you were a pedophile not for being a pedophile. I think we like money stuff
[00:27:10] I think I think yeah, I think you he went away for like embezzlement
[00:27:13] But if you're a pedophile lupraman is the guy whose picture you have on the wall. He's michael jordan
[00:27:21] Yeah, he was dude. He was he was just this is from the kid story
[00:27:27] My podcast they would be like laying in a bed and he would just come in in the middle of the night like fat
[00:27:34] Flabby naked and just jump on them and they would be like what's going on?
[00:27:39] He'd be like it's a joke. I'm kidding around
[00:27:42] We're all having they were like what and then I think he did like sick shit like he was like now you have to blow me
[00:27:48] And that's how o-town started yeah, that's how they know that's how we got some of the best music of our generation
[00:27:53] Actually boys Nick and he fucked Nick and erin Carter dude if that's the case yeah well erin would get him started
[00:28:05] I spilled a lot of the Carter family. Yeah, I'll tell you that you got real Perlman like tastes Carter is uh, I mean
[00:28:11] They were like you just I love to imagine an 18 year old Tim looking identical to how he looks now
[00:28:23] Aaron Carter fame or Jesse McCartney that was another one who was that oh man
[00:28:28] You don't know Jesse McCarthy him. He was on all my children and then he had that show he had that song beautiful soul
[00:28:36] No, no, we don't know that we're cool. Yeah apparently I apologize. No, no, I was
[00:28:42] I used to know the no every band. It's cool to know tiger beat because those kids went through it
[00:28:47] Have you ever seen a Todd Solons happiness that movie? No, what is that? It's this movie
[00:28:52] Anyway, the dad in the movie would buy like tiger beats or like yeah all those like second tier like teen boy
[00:29:00] Magazine I wouldn't go on and then masturbate in his van wait a minute. So what's the premise of the movie?
[00:29:06] It's just it's all these people in New Jersey. It's like it. He's a new in town. He wants to get on this look literally
[00:29:15] He gets bullied in school his dad loves can't it's a weird life
[00:29:18] It's a really good movie Philip Seymour Hoffman's in it he plays a guy that just calls women out of the phone book like a Romeo
[00:29:23] Diler and he just tries to keep them on the phone while he master. Oh, dude. I'm watching this tonight
[00:29:34] No, she Phillips Seymour Hoffman movie, but he plays a guy his wife had just killed himself
[00:29:38] And he can't bring himself to read the suicide note
[00:29:41] Yeah, he's like going into work and he's just a fucking zombie
[00:29:45] And he's like trying to clean the house because he's got to move out of it because his wife's dead
[00:29:48] And while he's cleaning he just starts like huffing cleaner and then he becomes addicted to inhalants
[00:29:54] And then he starts huffing gas and to justify all the gas he's buying in small quantities
[00:29:59] He has to get into like model airplane like
[00:30:02] And then he's going to these RC airplane events like and he's like suffering from brain damage
[00:30:08] Back when you could just get a film made
[00:30:12] We can make art you could just do things. I know it's like I mean, it's one of his best performance
[00:30:17] No, I want nothing to lose any time depressing. Yeah. Yeah. They're like, how does this elevate marginalized people? You're like it's
[00:30:28] He was great actor, dude. He was great man, but you know what said you know just the conviction
[00:30:33] Which he delivers that line and along came poly
[00:30:37] We gotta get out of here. Yeah, I'm sure
[00:30:43] Yeah, he plays a former child actor to in that movie
[00:30:46] He's out. He's a good and everything he does. He's one of those guys. He's the movie socks
[00:30:49] He's like you can watch it. I just loved well. That's what he yells. I loved well. I loved well. I think something like that. Yeah, I watched
[00:30:59] Boogie notes get recently. It's the best. I'm rock, dude. He tries to suck off Mark Wahlberg in that. Yeah
[00:31:12] You could do it. You had him. I feel like you were working on it for like six months
[00:31:15] A couple times. Did you ever see that mission impossible where he plays the bad guy in it? Yeah incredible. He's great
[00:31:20] No, I'm gonna watch you never finished the rock. It's like mission impossible for I think oh, dude
[00:31:24] I gotta get a list of movies to watch. Yeah, it's impossible for
[00:31:28] I'm gonna watch recent. It was like fun, but you can tell they wrote it in like 15 minutes
[00:31:32] Yeah, it was like ridiculous. It was like it was like a gang of white terrorists. I forget their name
[00:31:36] They were like it's called the legion. Yeah, and then it like made no sense. They're like they attack for a political and commercial reason
[00:31:44] Like it was like everything right because you can't have umbrella
[00:31:48] You know, I have Muslim terrorists anymore because no politically right you can't have Chinese terrorists because they're such a big film market
[00:31:54] Right like they they'll get pissed off and not see what you make them into. I feel like Russians are back
[00:31:58] They were called like the disciples the awesome shit like the apostles and they were like they attack for no reason at all
[00:32:04] It was like they were doesn't even need to be a plot. They're like they just attacked so we're gonna get them
[00:32:09] That's pretty cool. Yeah, it was fun. Yeah, it was a fun movie. That's kind of like dread
[00:32:19] Yeah, yeah, I'm working out been working on Jackie Chan impression
[00:32:39] How old is Chan now? He's probably like 70 to 90. Yeah, no, I would say 64 probably is late 60. Yeah
[00:32:47] Early late. You saw that pic of jet Lee recently right where he looks like shit. No, what's he been doing?
[00:32:56] See that yeah get him off the big snow. He wants to see jet Lee with
[00:33:02] No, yeah, it's really sad jet Lee with a LS. Yeah, well, you kicked enough people. Yeah, he's like
[00:33:08] Uh, he's like the doctors like letting him know he is a full-blown aid. So he's like, I'm sorry
[00:33:30] True his name is on the man. You know Chris Tucker's one guy that you're not into a pedophilia. He just needed to get somewhere
[00:33:36] Damn, I love playing. Yeah, he's like, I'm
[00:33:44] What's up, Jeffree somebody be raping a child in front of him. He's like damn is that not chose
[00:33:55] They dropped him off at an all-inclusive resort just a shitty
[00:34:01] $600 for the whole week. Yeah, he always has like a 15-minute Michael Jackson chunk in all of his specials every time where he does Michael
[00:34:08] Jax does he defend him or no, he yeah, well, no, yeah, he was buddy
[00:34:11] He was like best friends with Michael Jackson. Well that now now maybe the Epstein plane
[00:34:17] I'd like to reconsider my earlier statement
[00:34:20] Chris Tucker every time I hear Chris dr. Zamer. I remember being at the planet Hollywood in the inner harbor. Remember that?
[00:34:28] Right looking at something on the table. There's something Chris Tucker related and he said Chris Tucker. He's my favorite actor
[00:34:38] God I hope that kid was a make a wish kid. He was dying. Yeah, I hope he was gonna be dead in my favorite actor
[00:34:47] Yeah, just because you just mean you like rush out. Yeah, right if you ever had that thought you shouldn't be allowed to live
[00:34:55] uh, what was that movie with Steve zon and
[00:34:59] And Eddie Murphy or not any Murphy and Martin Lawrence
[00:35:08] And it had just come out and we were in health class and someone and our teacher asked what your favorite movie of all time is
[00:35:15] And the kid just said that movie and I was like, that's not your favorite fucking movie, dude
[00:35:20] That she just just came out. You're a fucking idiot. He just saw it. Yeah, you just saw it
[00:35:25] Yeah, and then so I was like shut the fuck up
[00:35:32] No, I was quiet. I was like, that's cool, man. I hope you think I'm cool
[00:35:35] I loved that there was always a kid that like said a really inappropriate movie like somebody like we were all eight and one
[00:35:39] One person was like basic instinct. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He didn't know what to do. There was always that he's not like this vhs
[00:35:47] Yeah, we have no idea what there was always that kid that's like I watched porn
[00:35:51] Yeah, and we were like seven like before there was a
[00:35:54] backing off anyone had any like sexual impulse. Yeah, whoever. He's like, he just sat down and watched it
[00:35:59] We have porn at my house and I watched it. Yeah, my parents put on porn when they have their friends over
[00:36:05] And then I'll close my door all the way
[00:36:08] I'll tell you this. It's a fucking wild night
[00:36:12] That's hilarious dude kids said kids let out hilarious shit. Oh, yeah, uh,
[00:36:16] That should be the name of the show in in kids let out hilarious
[00:36:23] Well, brian, what's the craziest thing you've ever seen your parents do
[00:36:28] It's like one time my dad fucked my mom in the ass
[00:36:38] I think they should like I should one more kids say the darnest things that would be great get let them do one more from jail
[00:36:45] From special release the kiddo special release. No, let the kids come into the slam
[00:36:52] Yo, the alt-right should hire les moonvis or whatever the fuck that cbs guy's name is
[00:36:58] Create a new network. Yeah prime time show gavons on it
[00:37:03] Gavin's on it as like a fun neighbor or whatever, but it's rosanne and bill Cosby
[00:37:08] Yeah, she's a white jewish racist and he's a black rapist. Yeah, they they're roommates together in prison
[00:37:17] Yeah, and they have to figure out a way to get along even though she hates him because he's you know, right
[00:37:22] The SJW has put them in jail. Yeah, she hates him because he's you know, uh, you know, yeah
[00:37:27] And he hates her because she's too fat for the pills to
[00:37:31] Take a whole month's worth even knock her out for 30 minutes
[00:37:39] It's just pigly bitch going full of sleep
[00:37:43] I don't know what I have to do. I'll spend $80 on drugs
[00:37:56] She went to sleep for a half hour. Yeah, I think she blinked once
[00:38:04] Man, I would write for that show. Yeah, it's called perfect strangers perfect strangers the reboot
[00:38:10] Reboot with rosanne and bill Cosby Gavin beginners is the neighbor
[00:38:15] As the prison guard scott beo. It's like what are you two getting up to in there? Yeah?
[00:38:21] Yeah, sounds fine. I hope as a walk on cameo as
[00:38:27] And then it's just like scott bea walks down their cell block and you see him coming to the shot and then just like
[00:38:37] She just like smiles and like Jordan Peterson gives him advice as a wilson home improvement
[00:38:47] Well, have you tried eating nothing but cum
[00:38:49] You'll see I've been on an entirely cum diet for 16 years for the last four and a half years
[00:38:58] I've been drinking nothing but cum. I am cum in fact and this this gives people the false idea that
[00:39:05] Uh, uh, I am some sort of sick freak when really I'm proving that self-sufficiency is possible
[00:39:11] What it basically is is you have to save your father from the belly of the whale
[00:39:16] Because it gives you the strength and the determination and that's what gives life meaning
[00:39:20] To be full of common to save your family from up from a big secret dragon. Okay, so
[00:39:30] I would love if he ended everything with faggot. He was like, oh, yeah, well faggot. Oh listen here bucko
[00:39:37] Rosanna is still fucking great. I don't know why she smokes cigarettes through the whole rogan. She did
[00:39:44] Uh, it was really good. Like the abc somebody at abc was like it was a mistake to fire her
[00:39:50] They didn't bring her back, but they're like we figured we get more bad PR for ourselves by just announcing that we regret this decision
[00:39:57] That we're not going to reverse. Yeah, let's just come out with a
[00:40:00] Real stupid incendiary statement about we still kind of want
[00:40:05] Yeah, pita gate loving and we're saying
[00:40:12] We like who we own by Disney well, they're not gonna love this
[00:40:16] Let's just go out and say that we still stand by rosanne's ideas
[00:40:19] Let's say we find her at problematic, but her ideas should live on we should investigate com at ping pong
[00:40:26] I was in I did a sketch for the president and bc I played a cab driver
[00:40:29] This is true and they made me take my podcast down when I talked about it, but let they won't do that here
[00:40:34] Um, and this true is a fact was an internal thing. Nobody's making us take they weren't gonna
[00:40:39] They weren't gonna air this it was an internal thing was a this is a seal of mbc universal
[00:40:42] He runs like 21 companies and everything. I'm playing a cab driver in the thing
[00:40:47] The script that we did had to go through like 20 20 filters to get approved that he meets me
[00:40:52] And he's like you're playing the cab driver and i'm like yep last white cab driver in New York city
[00:40:56] And he turns it was forehandlers. He's like that's not in the script right
[00:40:59] He's not saying that he says he but I get him in the thing and I asked him like
[00:41:02] While we were on a break I was like what do you think about rosanne? This was when
[00:41:07] She they were just announced a show it didn't premiere yet, and he's like it was funny
[00:41:11] He's like he goes he goes I was like would you have done that would you put her on?
[00:41:16] Yeah, he goes that's gonna be a big problem for that, but I'm like yeah
[00:41:20] Maybe and then the big ratings happen. I'm like yeah that guy what is he fucking you know 40 million dollars a year?
[00:41:25] I'm like what does he know and then the next week she got fired. I was like oh yeah that guy
[00:41:28] Was she was just like some fat like like poor midwestern woman and now she's like she had like an
[00:41:35] Apostasio far. No, it's the same thing with the Harrison Ford thing. Yeah, no she was around
[00:41:40] She was a comic. Yeah, but she wasn't like but you become crazy when you get that you have that kind of money
[00:41:45] There's people that don't there's people that indulge your insanity as opposed to try to count around ship
[00:41:50] Yeah, exactly like my cojax and it's like they're giving him injections
[00:41:52] Hey, you could have a role like the appropriate responses
[00:41:55] No, you can't have a roller coaster in your backyard, right? Why?
[00:42:06] That's a horse of a different world in the child fucking business. That's how we met you
[00:42:15] We just let you sang all pretty Michael I've been having sex with you since you are an infant
[00:42:27] We just weren't worried about your health
[00:42:30] We've been fucking you passing you around
[00:42:32] I mean I understand the roller coasters and the carousels in the room. That's just for balloon animals
[00:42:39] But a chimpanzee. Yeah, this is too much. You can't fuck a chimpanzee
[00:42:45] Sure, it's six years old, but it's stronger than you
[00:42:55] You can't just feed a cotton can it's a wilder on a carousel naked
[00:43:00] You have to treat it with respect Michael
[00:43:10] His mother has a bar bitch who would yeah whose parents have no problem waiting 48 hours in the lobby of your mansion
[00:43:21] That's what those that's another thing those parents would just like well
[00:43:25] You know, Michael just wanted to see the boys and they got along so well. That's what I love
[00:43:31] He just wanted to spend 72 hours with them. So I sat in my car
[00:43:35] On the outside of the property on the other side of the security key
[00:43:40] And I didn't have any weight at retail service
[00:43:44] Yeah, there was 80 members of the nation of islam separating her and her child
[00:43:48] Yeah, there was just a lot of security there
[00:43:49] I do believe a lot of the parents that like their children might get molested by producers or whatever like a lot of them are just very
[00:43:56] Stupid fucking people sure yeah, some of them have to know
[00:43:59] They have to know for sure and like maybe they're in a desperate situation sure
[00:44:02] Just how painful it must be to know you're horing out your child to know that you're going to hell
[00:44:10] I used to go on a lot of auditions and there were some kids that were such cuts
[00:44:15] Yeah, that these pat like there were some kids were so insufferable
[00:44:19] I want to go now like they were just those kind of kids just you wait
[00:44:22] You'd be like, you know, you know, maybe the not maybe this wouldn't be the worst thing
[00:44:27] Yeah, you know, they have this kid get dicked down by Gary Goddard and Garth Ansier
[00:44:36] For a few months just you wait till you're old
[00:44:40] It's always sad the kids that get fucked and don't get jobs. Oh, yeah, that's tough. That's brutal
[00:44:44] That happens that happens that was the ones that tell because supposedly like
[00:44:48] Taylor latte and and all of these guys kind of
[00:44:52] I mean, this is supposedly I have no inside information, but
[00:44:55] Supposedly that they were all I do have insane
[00:44:59] According to crazy days and nights and four chance all of those kids was really about eight chance the other day
[00:45:04] According to a now banned reddit thread
[00:45:06] All of these children a jewish holiday, sikha
[00:45:16] And they would convince children they were going camping
[00:45:23] So you're saying taylor loner who else is getting I mean, I think I think all those I think all those a lot of those kids
[00:45:29] I think unfortunately and I could be wrong, especially the ones that were in that like nickelodeon world. Oh, yeah
[00:45:34] You know, I mean listen, I think that's kind of
[00:45:40] You know double the audience up in them guys double there baby. Yeah
[00:45:48] Because you get so desperate. I mean I was a failed child actor and I was on a bus like playing little Jake and Annie get your gun
[00:45:58] When I was 11 like dancing around it's just elderly people dying in the seats
[00:46:03] You know what I mean? It's just like it's like who's cock do I have to ride like a champion
[00:46:09] To get on tv like what the fuck I hate to say it, but
[00:46:13] I mean not to justify at 12. We're all I'm sucked cock to be on tv buddy
[00:46:21] Nobody gets out of this alive is my point
[00:46:28] I sucked cock a few years later for nothing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Literally for nothing because I was bored right
[00:46:38] I don't think michael jackson raped those kids though. He's that true. I don't know what he did
[00:46:42] I think joe kamiklu castrated him. I think I do. I legitimately do think that but they found a lot of like child born in his house
[00:46:49] Was like very I definitely fucked those kids. I think he had sleepovers. You're snuggled with him. Hold on. You're retarded
[00:46:59] You're fucking yeah, I think he had a smooth bottom. He definitely fought. No, he did that weird
[00:47:07] Why is his voice sound like that there is like a ball? He took a lot of hormones
[00:47:11] There's a fucking vision like because people do say they're like oh well, you know
[00:47:15] If somebody gets molested and then they become a molester, which is like
[00:47:18] Potentially true. But in the way that like I would assume michael jackson was where he's like
[00:47:24] I want to help these kids and protect them and like maybe if I see the penis
[00:47:32] And I want to I want to fuck the world and say the word like the bad pedophiles. Yeah, it's like it's all the same goddamn shit
[00:47:39] He's like I'm a good pedophile. I have a whole narnie a built for these kids. Yeah, because man pedophiles just have a gym locker room. Yeah
[00:47:47] Yeah, he definitely fucked this kid. I don't know. Okay. He might have fondled them. That's what I'll say
[00:47:51] Get the fuck out of here. I don't think that he could fuck. I don't think I don't think he's exactly good
[00:47:57] I don't know what but it was clear an inappropriate relationship. Uh-huh, but I don't know what he did
[00:48:02] Yeah, you know, I don't know do they're a kid. See this is what I love like women. It's like yep. They're right kids
[00:48:10] If the kids like that was fucked. They're like, all right. You don't know what happened
[00:48:14] You don't know what's going on. Yeah, there's no me too for children. Has there been ignored?
[00:48:19] Has there been a child coming forward? There's that open secret movie that everyone ignores
[00:48:23] They're like this is crazy. It's like a bunch of kids are like we were raped and everyone's like, well you stop
[00:48:28] Come on. Yeah, well that documentarians next movie couldn't get funding. Yeah, what was their next movie?
[00:48:35] Secret couldn't get funding that's a horse on that's a that's a magic pigeon that in Hollywood. Uh, so what's the film about?
[00:48:41] Um, well, you know, it's a little problem. It deals with uh children in the business and um
[00:48:49] You know, we're still figuring that we're gonna figure it out. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
[00:48:53] We're gonna really just try to uh zone in on it when we get closer
[00:48:58] Yeah, my parents got me an agent. I went out for auditions and stuff too. Did you really? Yeah, but really I couldn't memorize my lines
[00:49:04] Yeah, I didn't know that I showed you my mom. What you auditioned for a carles jr. Commercial
[00:49:09] What what it was do a calls you I had to say come to the star carles jr
[00:49:13] Come to the what because it's there. They're like logo is a star. Yeah, okay
[00:49:18] Come to the star go to the star carles jr
[00:49:21] And you couldn't remember that and I was I was like four
[00:49:24] Fucked it up and then my Israeli agent yelled at me
[00:49:27] She was like you didn't you didn't tell your kids like you didn't make your kids fucking learn the lines and then my parents were like all right
[00:49:32] You're this is what you don't take shit
[00:49:36] I went into the audition room and it was like early 90s. It was like probably 91 92. It was made
[00:49:42] Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait
[00:49:44] Instead of buying the equipment to do the christmas album. Do you want to go to like get a nice dinner?
[00:49:51] After this and I carles jr. Made me think of it because then I thought about Ruth's Chris
[00:49:56] Other things that have bad names. Yeah, let's let's go pretty full from these burritos, but in a couple hours probably
[00:50:01] Yeah, I mean a couple we're gonna watch let's go to lugeres. I'll put on we're gonna watch another
[00:50:05] I'm gonna curate another movie for us to watch like and then we're gonna have a spot like not but we can between the spot
[00:50:12] You have a spot 10 30 New York comedy club. Stop is a spot. We'll watch him. I don't even care dinner. I'll just not go
[00:50:20] I'll just text Justin silver. I'll be like I'm gonna appetite and then we'll all go out for some dinner. Okay, right
[00:50:26] We should have is that good we can do the christmas album to I think we can what I mean
[00:50:31] What is the Christmas out to just sing it tonight? Oh, yeah, yeah, because I'm we're gonna go to b&h photo
[00:50:35] You're gonna drive me into the city to b&h photo. Oh, no, we're gonna do that. Yeah, okay. Do the west side
[00:50:40] That's what I'm saying fuck that right now. We should do our mics
[00:50:44] Be an age may be closed by the way. It will be tomorrow those two secot
[00:50:50] They'll be sucking off those other kids
[00:50:52] I like the funniest thing in the world. It's like it's like I look I'm not an anti-semite
[00:50:57] I say these things. I hate them dude. I hate orthodox
[00:50:59] I'm not into semi-seedy. I hate it. I hate it joke
[00:51:01] But when like the blazio is like look the juicer allowed to suck off children
[00:51:11] Do they really do that? Yes, they bite a dick. I don't understand
[00:51:15] No, no, no, okay, the moyle cut off the foreskin. Yeah, and then it's customary. They'll suck the blood
[00:51:21] But they don't do that that it's a one sect of ultra orthodox Jews that do do that every hen we go to every Jew
[00:51:28] Yeah, about 90 percent just one side the biggest second anyways 90 percent of the Jewish people
[00:51:34] Nobody would believe me. They were like true
[00:51:36] They'd be like all your anti-semite, but then there was this thing in New York where all these babies were getting herpes
[00:51:41] Yeah, there was a herpes outbreak from a moyle from that I had from all these rabbis that were all doing this
[00:51:50] There is like like there's this documentary called one of us which is so boring dude. It's so boring. I thought it'd be great
[00:51:58] I thought it's the same problems. Everyone thought it was kind of a clue
[00:52:01] Anyways, it became an issue with the city and the city just like was like that's a church in state
[00:52:06] Yeah, you can't get the one thing I wait to legislate this right nothing we can do can't arrest people from
[00:52:20] The one thing I thought was kind of interesting in that documentary was they had lobbied the New York state government to basically make it so that if you leave
[00:52:27] Catholic churches is a million times worse by the way
[00:52:30] Yeah, Catholic churches were this this fucking shit out of Illinois. Do you see this?
[00:52:34] Yeah, that's insane and because and this is gonna be so much it's gonna be so much worse now because I don't think there's ever been just like an
[00:52:40] investigation by law enforcement of like the church. Yeah, it's always been specific
[00:52:46] Do you think that pedophile priests now feel like we do in comedy that they're like
[00:52:53] We got it. I went through four years of school. Yeah, I don't even like God. I don't even know what this is
[00:53:00] We're saying it was free boy pussy. Yeah, I want them to go to jail. I think you should tax all of these fucking churches dude. Absolutely
[00:53:06] Let's not go crazy. I don't know if you should tax
[00:53:11] I think I think there's a tax in charge and pay for my healthcare. Yeah, 100%
[00:53:21] Dicks and crypto catholic. I'm in the Bitcoin and Jesus the emperor of Diocletia
[00:53:26] No, it's tough. What the fuck does taxing the church do? Uh, I
[00:53:33] Am so much proper. There's something about them being above they there's never I don't think the argument
[00:53:40] Sustains itself that they should be above being taxed especially if they're going to perpetuate a child
[00:53:46] Sex ring. Hmm, you know, there's something about that where it's like well
[00:53:51] This is a problem like you can have your imaginary seances whatever
[00:53:55] Right, right, right. That's fine and you can claim that like it's good for society like we shouldn't be taxed but like
[00:54:04] Petit files is probably an issue. I at least pay the bit. Yeah, so put them in jail
[00:54:10] Well, why why should religious why should religious get be taxed?
[00:54:14] Organizations they're not they're non-profits because they're non-profits
[00:54:17] They're the whole idea of separation of church and state, but they pay they have tons of like they get they have enough
[00:54:22] Really fun real estate. They like yeah, it's weird. It's like it's not what what kind of like effect on the GDP would it really have the tax?
[00:54:30] I don't know. We have to say it. I would I mean a lot you think it would be a lot it would be something dude
[00:54:35] They make up they're huge. There's a lot dude. I love all the con like you drive around Brooklyn
[00:54:39] It's like oh like you look at a lot of these have three family houses where it's like one floor is a church
[00:54:44] It's like what this is not a church which is fine. I'm here. There's a lot of people don't want to know okay, they're not they're not
[00:54:50] Just paying off kids that have been fucked as the Catholic church. You know I
[00:54:56] Don't know man fuck fuck them. I don't know I do like every now and then about going to St
[00:54:59] Pat's doesn't science beautiful church it aren't like I love god to get three drills
[00:55:04] Yeah, they're beautiful the St. John the divine the upper west side. That's a piss capelium. It's beautiful. It's incredible
[00:55:10] It's the largest Gothic cathedral in the world. I know really yeah. Yeah, yeah
[00:55:19] Church is great to up rock with the one that rock and fell up in there. Yeah. Yeah, it's really nice
[00:55:23] It's gorgeous. What was so divine about him St. John the divine? He was he made a lot of money
[00:55:37] Yeah, I like I do like it is cool that it religious like houses of worship are cool as shit
[00:55:42] I want to Tokyo the fucking the ground zero mosque
[00:55:52] It's actually a big they have a stained glass window of Muhammad flying the plane into the towers
[00:55:56] Yeah, but they can't depict Muhammad. Yeah, it's blurred out. You have to assume that it is yeah
[00:56:03] Mm-hmm. It's really nice. It's the craftsmanship is beautiful on it that grounds your amols weird
[00:56:08] Yeah, it's odd a guy died there. Oh, yeah, what's going on?
[00:56:15] Yeah, like the future yum like what is happening? What is this supposed to make me feel money to yeah
[00:56:21] It's supposed to be like a transit terminal, but it only services the path
[00:56:24] Yeah, I went in with Ray comp and a cop started hassling him say thought he was homeless
[00:56:30] Raise it yelling back in the car. I have a right to be
[00:56:34] What are you gonna get shot in front of me? What was your Instagram story? You had a use about fucking burp
[00:56:40] What was he now? He's like he just said he's like I've seen catch good fuck
[00:56:46] Stop talking for a while and it's like anyone around him was like oh this mentally challenged man
[00:56:55] Just everything he says is completely disturbing and then he has like a long pause now
[00:57:00] He's got asthma so whenever he goes out in the cold he starts hacking and he starts going
[00:57:05] Something he's gonna die he gets his thing out. It's like
[00:57:09] It's just it's like Ray comes like one of those things it can only exist in like sort of like the New York tri-state area
[00:57:15] Yeah, I mean those guys don't exist elsewhere. No just a fat
[00:57:20] Smart he's like very smart but like just a moron ascetic. Yes somebody you would think was like yeah retarded
[00:57:27] Like literally talk about the fed for hours like he's very smart
[00:57:31] Right, but is also like we went to a restaurant the other night
[00:57:34] He goes like we were standing waiting to be seated and apple of nothing this can't wait to be at the table
[00:57:40] Right he's going to just go I'm an infraction in my leg. I'm supposed to ER
[00:57:45] They said forget so much worse and it's like we're at a hostess table
[00:57:54] Why would we need we were on the train for an hour? He mentioned nothing
[00:57:58] He waited to get in a restaurant around people to start discussing his leg infection
[00:58:06] No, I mean a guy like him. I feel like they live forever and just in defiance of laws of different maladies
[00:58:13] Yeah, well, he's sort of like this persistent chemical reaction
[00:58:17] Right his body is kept alive by the excitement of the process itself
[00:58:22] Yeah, I mean he's already producing like a million different types of cancer cells
[00:58:26] Yeah, that's interesting. Let's move on to the next yeah
[00:58:28] He comes into our podcast and he puts down a regular pack of cigarettes a jewel
[00:58:33] Uh an energy drink a red bull coffee. I'm like, what is this?
[00:58:38] It's just a concoction that keeps him alive
[00:58:41] Yeah, he goes every now and then he goes on there's other words than a fat person who goes on like the carnivore diet
[00:58:47] Because he walks around with like britu and meat and he just eats it. You know, I'm on a diet
[00:58:54] He ate garlic once in 16 handles the frozen yogurt shop because he had a stomachache he ate raw garlic
[00:59:00] This is a frozen yogurt shop where people are getting their kids
[00:59:04] Yogurt he's eating raw garlic and then telling me this is he's like, this is what helps your stomach
[00:59:11] He's this raw garlic and like people looking at him
[00:59:14] Like what the fuck is this person? He's just eating raw garlic
[00:59:19] 16 handles his gut is out of his like his shirt no longer covers his stomach. He's got his hanging out
[00:59:25] I mean, you know, he's an icon. He truly is he really is
[00:59:29] Oh, this is a solo episodes of our podcast
[00:59:32] Are I get complaints because they are so it's just a stream of his conscience
[00:59:40] It has no like yeah, it doesn't even he doesn't even know that the show's a show
[00:59:48] That fucking rocks man. Literally the third sentence he said in the last one was I don't know
[00:59:52] I'm a good person. I don't hit children in the face
[00:59:55] And i'm like, can he hit a child in the face?
[01:00:03] And what a what a standard for being a person. Oh, what was that? Are you talking body shots or or fair play?
[01:00:11] Wasn't he in finance tweet about like hey, I'm a good person. I don't know. I'm a bad person sure I steal flowers from the seventh
[01:00:20] Dude incredible stuff. Yeah, funny. They should have a podcast together. Oh boy. Oh, yeah
[01:00:26] Yeah, that's good. Nathan Maggathosh wanted him and he and we're in a diner once and Ian just took his shoes off
[01:00:31] It was gross Nathan's like you can't do this
[01:00:37] Man he just said like very polite calm. We don't like you can't
[01:00:43] What do you know? I've done it my entire life
[01:00:47] We talking about people take their shoes off and diner. Yeah
[01:00:51] It's just smells disgusting people trying to eat their shitty grilled cheese
[01:00:58] Oh, well, this is also a holiday spectacular. So yeah, happy holidays. You know, what is everyone doing?
[01:01:03] It is Christmas. I go to Long Island and watch my cousins who are in the midst of a heroin
[01:01:11] I watch everybody uh watch them if they go near the room with the coats
[01:01:15] Everybody gets up and they're like, are you looking for something?
[01:01:24] What's going on over there? Everybody's okay. Incredible
[01:01:26] My schizophrenic mother uh tells us that she thinks that there's a good chance Elvis might have been her father
[01:01:33] And uh, we go well, this is good and we eat some food that is uh no good
[01:01:37] And then I go home and order like the pop of johns or whatever's oh
[01:01:41] dominoes something horrific. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so
[01:01:45] That's the christmas. I'm gonna buy a last-man ticket go back to japan by myself
[01:01:49] You hated that trip and you've been texting us like I I miss it so much. Let's go to my fucking
[01:01:54] All I said was that I missed that breakfast I had that you have that breakfast
[01:01:59] Japanese breakfast was great at no point did I ever say that it was bad
[01:02:03] I the entire I maintained that it was good as shit while I was there talking about the fish place right in the fish place
[01:02:09] Yeah, have you been to ocanomi and williamsberg? No, that's where I went right before I got class in the face
[01:02:14] Yeah, it's amazing, but they do japanese breakfast, which is like oh is it all good?
[01:02:19] It's it's almost yeah, it's like it's all part. Yeah. What's a Japanese breakfast very good
[01:02:23] I'm not a man. It's like fucking it's like a salted
[01:02:26] Assaulted grilled fish head in a fucking raw egg and you think it's gonna be disgusting. No, that's yeah
[01:02:31] It's delicious. Yeah, and it's just like a pickled vegetables. That's what did you just over there and how much better is it?
[01:02:37] The sushi is incredible. Yeah, sushi was incredible, but like
[01:02:41] Everything else is so good. It's like who gives the shit about the fucking sushi the ramen was like amazing
[01:02:46] We went to this place to use the broth is like a
[01:02:48] Uh, yeah, it's like anchovies. It's a it's like anchovy reductions
[01:02:54] I remember like liquid. They're like they're sort of going bad. I guess me and neck one day
[01:02:57] We're like we got an argument over food. He's like la's food is so much better than New York's not even funny
[01:03:01] I'm like no, it's not I'm like yeah, and I was like yeah
[01:03:04] I said something and then I was like you're you're just counting all of Italian food by saying that I was like
[01:03:09] What do you not like Italian food the nichos like man? He's like yeah, I don't
[01:03:16] I love about nichos when Nick has the pinion. He's like yeah, no. Yeah, yeah, no. I don't hit women
[01:03:20] Yeah, I don't like it. It was like that level of I'm like, okay. Well, all right
[01:03:26] But I want to go to Japan so bad. That's one of those places. Oh my incredible dude. I want to go
[01:03:29] Yeah, I'm sick dude. I've been traveling all over the country, but like oh, hi. Yeah, ohio sucks ass
[01:03:34] We were just talking about that. It's trash and everyone Ohio sucks
[01:03:40] That the rock on the range music festival in Ohio machine gun kelly did well
[01:03:47] Because cleveland has one of those revitalized downtown districts and there's nothing that smells more like yeah, like
[01:03:57] municipal effort at like culture then forcing the blues on people
[01:04:02] That when they're like it's the blues walk
[01:04:05] Oh, yeah, the methadone clinic. Yeah, but now there's the blues walk and who's the blues band?
[01:04:11] It's like 519 year old white kids. It's just like it's a pictures. It's a mural of muddy waters
[01:04:17] Yeah, a macaroni grill and then overcooked ribs
[01:04:22] And then and then a place that sells 35 dollar t-shirts. It says you wouldn't get it. It's a cleaver
[01:04:27] I will say that's what I love about Austin every day in Austin. I had three different meals that were all amazing
[01:04:33] And then I almost died. Yeah, there's good. I had to leave Austin because I was like I'm gonna die
[01:04:37] Yeah, if I stay here, what's the good shit you got? What's the best you got over there? Well, Franklin's very good
[01:04:43] You know styles and switches great. You get black like in the beginning like in the hours. I was an idiot
[01:04:49] What do I have to do? No, I would do it styles and switch blacks out and lock car
[01:04:53] I love that drive to lock car to just great enough
[01:04:55] I went to smities was great. Yep, and fucking I went to this place. It was a breakfast place was a Mexican breakfast place
[01:05:01] I want to say it's like she goes or something or it was so to so to loves it
[01:05:07] He took us all there and we had like she's biscuits and me goss and all the great Mexican food in your life
[01:05:13] And then you do a torch. He's you know day you can't really go wrong with any of that like tacks max breakfast. Oh, yeah
[01:05:19] So good. Yeah, LA has great ones too great place called dealie is out in
[01:05:24] Gailigetson Park. Gailigets is the best Mexican ever
[01:05:27] Fuss molly in the world. It's oh, I love it. I love it. Like that's a lot of town
[01:05:32] Maybe you've heard of it in Los. Yeah, it's yeah, it's not la buddy gay gay legettes head
[01:05:37] Gay legettes. Gailigetson. You gotta go out there and I'm out there. I'll take you some places
[01:05:42] Jitlada's great tie place. I'm a good killer
[01:05:44] I've heard anything about Jitlada is all the drawings from at graining
[01:05:47] But you're like all over the place. You're like oh he can't even draw a bart
[01:05:51] He's so fucking minimal. Yeah, none of the humor came from him right right?
[01:05:57] Bad at all and he can't even draw the characters. He's famous and there's no reason they're in the restaurant
[01:06:03] Like it looks like a autistic kid. Yeah. He's like I love sandwiches, man
[01:06:12] I went to I went to restaurant on the upre side like this chinese place a pig heaven or something. Have you heard of it?
[01:06:18] Yes, yeah, they have only one celebrity photo on the wall and it's woody island. That's New York, baby
[01:06:24] Like hey, man brilliant guy me too has not reached the upper east side whatsoever
[01:06:29] Well, I love the ladies from me to on woody alleys. They fucked a 16 year old, but she's like it was great
[01:06:35] Got high it was great. They're like well didn't scar you the like she's like no it was the 70s was fucking free love
[01:06:40] Yeah, everybody's again, but it ruined your life right? She's like no, it was the coolest thing ever did like well. This is not this isn't working
[01:06:49] Damn, thank you, Tim. Thank you for having me. No, no, I mean
[01:06:54] For an innocent man. Yeah, man with his exact face and nose. I don't know man
[01:06:58] I just remember those were a little when I was a little kid. I watched woody island movies
[01:07:04] Yeah, I got I got to him late in the game. My favorite. She was mafia movies
[01:07:09] I love those those are the first movies I like liked for sure when I saw good fellows when I was like 10 or whatever
[01:07:15] I was like wow. Yeah, I watch the godfather coming to her casino casino
[01:07:21] Donnie Brasko, Dolly Brasko, lean streets
[01:07:25] What's the part of time in America? You go. I love that when you try it's like four hours amazing. Yeah, I like I loved it
[01:07:31] It's not bad. It's just like I start watching it and then it's like do I have their whole day?
[01:07:37] Yeah, it's all week. Yeah, it's like I have to read a book. Well, there's like the answer is yes
[01:07:42] There's multiple cuts of it too. There's one that's like five hours long. It's like the director's cut
[01:07:47] That's when I watched for the first time. It's so that got it right in the the height of my like being into that ship
[01:07:52] So I was like I want to I really want to dude
[01:07:54] I loved mafia movies and they were like when I grew up in Long Island
[01:07:56] That's part of the cultic everyone has a fucking Scarface poster in their room every kid has some dumb good
[01:08:01] Like people in their house has artwork have the good fellas. Yeah, that's the thing they look at while they eat dinner
[01:08:10] Friends of mine's dinner tables. I would eat that and like look at some stupid fucking godfather photo
[01:08:17] That video right after Deneiro said fuck Trump some guy in Staten Island had like a porch of Deneiro in his house
[01:08:23] And he's like all right got to take this down and then he like starts hitting it with a hammer. Oh, that's great
[01:08:28] Oh, yeah, you disrespect the president. Well Trump is the Trump is more mafia than Deneiro. That's the thing. Yeah
[01:08:35] Staten Island's like we got a new mafia the golden haired Don
[01:08:41] No, that was awesome. All right. Did you ever did you like never ending story and all that shit?
[01:08:45] I like never ending story. Yeah, that was really good. I tried to watch that again. I'm like you can't watch this as an adult
[01:08:51] It makes no fucking sense. No, you're like this is crazy
[01:08:53] It's so stupid when you're a little kid who's not even paying attention and too fucking stupid to know what a plot is
[01:08:58] Yeah, then you're like okay. This is fine. Yeah, this is the nothing. We're battling against the nothing. Yeah
[01:09:04] Damn, I don't even remember what the fuck they were battling against
[01:09:06] That's that's how I felt about the princess bride. I'm excited
[01:09:13] Right, I'll go wherever you guys want. Let's figure it out right now
[01:09:15] I don't because god forbid we find the spot we all like and it becomes a regular thing, but we said it on the show
[01:09:21] No, that's a great point and then these people start coming out and ruining and then we get fuck at Tim fuck out
[01:09:28] Fuck out of my money. It's kind of the bed. I just want to eat
[01:09:34] I mean look you want to come by the rest do it it out. Here's where we're gonna go
[01:09:40] Oh that Mexican restaurant the creek in the cave. I love that place. It's great. It's great
[01:09:45] Let's go there. You know, I would not be surprised
[01:09:48] Right legitimately. I would not be surprised if I never go to the creek in the cave again and yeah
[01:09:54] Wait a minute. What if you're in Long Island City and you want a frozen shrimp
[01:10:00] Amazon HQ it's entirely possible that I will never end up there ever no I believe in posse. So yeah, yeah
[01:10:07] I'll probably do a week at the creek at some point just to do
[01:10:10] 40 minutes. Mm-hmm. I didn't have hour there and it was like the audience was like tough
[01:10:15] Yeah, yeah, yeah, it like packed out, but it's like haul. I'm like, oh, this is hard. Right. All right. It's great. Yeah. Yeah, all right
[01:10:21] Let's go get let's watch this one and then go get better. Let's watch that back. All right. Thanks a lot folks