[00:00:00] That takes more.

[00:00:01] We're just over here.

[00:00:03] No.

[00:00:03] OK.

[00:00:07] We were listening to the song, Brothers in Paris.

[00:00:10] Brothers in Paris.

[00:00:12] And we were doing a bit about a guy who asked Siri to play.

[00:00:18] And then he feels like one.

[00:00:19] So he tells all his friends that he feels like a brother in Paris.

[00:00:26] We're back, baby, in the fucking trap,

[00:00:28] getting our fucking hogs licked.

[00:00:30] It's going to be great.

[00:00:31] It's like Nanette's neck special.

[00:00:35] And it's just more.

[00:00:37] We should say the N word.

[00:00:38] No, it's just N words.

[00:00:40] And then I was raped again and again and again.

[00:00:43] And I kept raping me.

[00:00:44] And then like 35 minutes in, it's like, yeah, I mean, I say it.

[00:00:48] When I'm singing long direct music, then I'm like,

[00:00:52] hold on, they make the whole plane out of it.

[00:00:55] The black box material.

[00:00:56] Speaking of which, should we be calling it a black box?

[00:01:01] How about in African American books?

[00:01:05] There's not a lot of African Americans in Australia,

[00:01:07] because you know, it's Australia.

[00:01:11] But even then, we call it.

[00:01:12] Ooh.

[00:01:16] Yeah.

[00:01:17] What's confusingly clapping?

[00:01:19] Yeah, right.

[00:01:20] This is so brave.

[00:01:21] She's very brave.

[00:01:24] Yeah, it would be funny if Nanette just said

[00:01:26] like a really hacky racist joke right in the middle.

[00:01:29] That would be awesome.

[00:01:30] It's kind of like Donald Trump pulling the troops out of Syria.

[00:01:33] And yeah, in African Americans.

[00:01:35] Everybody's like, no, that's.

[00:01:37] Oh no, we have to stay in perpetual war in the Middle East.

[00:01:43] It's good to be in war.

[00:01:45] How dare he break his promise to some guys

[00:01:50] that we don't know or whatever the fuck.

[00:01:53] It is funny that he did something good by accident.

[00:01:56] Well, he might just hire black water and send them in there.

[00:01:59] That would be pretty.

[00:02:01] What do they call it, Blake water?

[00:02:03] Hey, baby, do you freaking marry me?

[00:02:04] I'm freaking old at it.

[00:02:06] I mean, I don't think that would be good.

[00:02:08] I think it's miney, yeah.

[00:02:09] We got a different name for it.

[00:02:11] You know, support small business?

[00:02:12] Yeah, they're the smallest of businesses.

[00:02:14] We should start a small business.

[00:02:15] You can't even see they're there.

[00:02:17] We should start a small business mercenary firm.

[00:02:19] I'll be tight, you know what I'm saying?

[00:02:20] I am a tier one operator.

[00:02:22] And I know a lot of people from my dad's days

[00:02:26] in the Rhodesian Special Forces.

[00:02:28] Right, right, right.

[00:02:29] In the kill squad for.

[00:02:31] I'm sure he wasn't in the blow doo-jins.

[00:02:33] What?

[00:02:34] What?

[00:02:36] Line up blokes?

[00:02:38] Yeah.

[00:02:39] Everybody suck your commanding officer

[00:02:41] till he nuts down your throat.

[00:02:44] Does that what basic training was like?

[00:02:46] Yeah, it was like kind of an all-new-ish platoon.

[00:02:49] To start a movie like Breaker Moran.

[00:02:51] Story Breaker Moran, but it's the story of the first British

[00:02:55] man to be prosecuted for buggering in the British Army.

[00:02:59] Well, everybody does it.

[00:03:00] In 1990.

[00:03:01] I was trying to fit in.

[00:03:03] My dad's army experience is more like private Benjamin

[00:03:07] with Goldie Hahn.

[00:03:09] They were like, I didn't know.

[00:03:11] I didn't know a lady could do all these things.

[00:03:14] Oh, god damn it, I'm not a woman.

[00:03:17] You mean sucking balls, eating ass,

[00:03:20] putting a dick and balls in another guy's balls

[00:03:23] in his mouth.

[00:03:24] Goldie Hahn goes to the army.

[00:03:26] That's pretty much it.

[00:03:27] And fucks everyone?

[00:03:28] Yeah, she fucks.

[00:03:29] Because that sounds like a pretty chill movie.

[00:03:31] Yeah.

[00:03:32] And everyone's like, she shouldn't be getting all these

[00:03:34] promotions, just for having sex with these guys.

[00:03:37] Yeah.

[00:03:37] It's not fair.

[00:03:38] And that happens all the time in the army.

[00:03:39] In the army, big time.

[00:03:41] In the army, if we know anything about the army,

[00:03:43] it's that the people that get forced to be fucked really

[00:03:47] benefit from it and aren't swept under the rug.

[00:03:50] And the joint cheers right now is just all fine ass big

[00:03:53] titty bitches who fuck their way up there.

[00:03:56] Just suck off Trump.

[00:03:59] In camo.

[00:04:02] Have you ever had sex while wearing camo?

[00:04:05] Yes.

[00:04:05] Ironically, maybe probably.

[00:04:07] Yeah.

[00:04:07] Is it a rave?

[00:04:08] At a rave or a rave?

[00:04:10] I was wearing blue camo.

[00:04:12] Well, where were you?

[00:04:15] No.

[00:04:17] No, I don't think I've ever worn camo in general.

[00:04:20] I think I might have had camo pants in elementary school.

[00:04:22] I had camo pants.

[00:04:24] I had a pair of killer cargo or camo jeans.

[00:04:27] I don't think I've ever owned cargo anything.

[00:04:29] Camo or really?

[00:04:30] Never.

[00:04:30] Oh, the pockets are so convenient.

[00:04:32] Wait, cargo or camo?

[00:04:33] Both.

[00:04:34] They were camo cargoes.

[00:04:35] Of course.

[00:04:37] I think a lot of camo pants also have cargo pants.

[00:04:39] Yes, for all the bullets.

[00:04:41] Cargo pants are back, baby.

[00:04:44] And who's saying that?

[00:04:45] Walk around New York City.

[00:04:46] People wear them all the time.

[00:04:48] Really?

[00:04:48] Well, it's Adam's fashion corner.

[00:04:50] You just base it off with the cool black kids on the trainer

[00:04:52] doing it.

[00:04:53] And I see them doing it all the time.

[00:04:55] No thanks.

[00:04:55] I'm out on cargo.

[00:04:57] I don't need to look puffier.

[00:04:58] You know what I mean?

[00:04:59] Yes, that's true.

[00:05:00] I don't need more things added.

[00:05:01] Yeah, I'm going gas jeans, puffy jacket.

[00:05:04] Oh, I'm top.

[00:05:05] Backwards cap.

[00:05:08] Yeah, the full toddler look.

[00:05:09] Yeah.

[00:05:10] Yeah.

[00:05:11] Yeah, maybe I should just get a puffy ass coat.

[00:05:13] Oshkosh Bagash's back, guys.

[00:05:15] I would like to.

[00:05:16] Yeah.

[00:05:17] Overall's that are green, yellow, and red.

[00:05:19] See your sucker overall.

[00:05:21] That would be kind of sick, actually.

[00:05:23] With a zipper for your cock.

[00:05:24] Yeah, exactly.

[00:05:25] So you pull it out, get your cock sucked on the beach.

[00:05:29] That's a classic retard kid in school move

[00:05:31] is like not being able to get his overalls back.

[00:05:36] Why would you give him overalls?

[00:05:38] Well, you know, that's cool.

[00:05:40] I don't know.

[00:05:40] I think it kind of fits with the aesthetic.

[00:05:44] Lertisse, I love being black.

[00:05:46] It's a T-shirt for a black toddler.

[00:05:48] This is I love being black, but that's what I want.

[00:05:50] How long I'm going to go?

[00:05:51] You want to wear those?

[00:05:53] Yeah.

[00:05:53] I told you there's this guy I knew in summer camp.

[00:05:57] Oh, yeah.

[00:05:57] What's his name?

[00:05:58] Came out as gay afterwards.

[00:06:00] Oh, I bet he did.

[00:06:01] I felt bad because we were like very homophobic.

[00:06:03] Because you said it was going to be a secret.

[00:06:05] Huh?

[00:06:05] Yeah, afterwards.

[00:06:06] After you held him down, sucked his dick.

[00:06:08] Whatever.

[00:06:08] Whatever.

[00:06:09] So he got married.

[00:06:10] He's very happy.

[00:06:12] And they just adopted a kid.

[00:06:13] And the first picture of the kid.

[00:06:15] The picture of the kid on Facebook was him in a black

[00:06:20] lives matters to you.

[00:06:21] Hell yeah.

[00:06:22] She's too Jewish.

[00:06:24] So this was a gay guy's adopted.

[00:06:25] This was funny that that happened.

[00:06:27] I don't know.

[00:06:28] I think it's true.

[00:06:28] The implication is what?

[00:06:29] The black lives don't matter.

[00:06:30] Wow.

[00:06:31] No, I think it's just pretty fun.

[00:06:32] How absurd is it that a child would think

[00:06:36] that black lives matter?

[00:06:37] Listen, I think it's that the liberals.

[00:06:39] Children don't know hate, Adam.

[00:06:41] Unlike you, a baby doesn't know hate the way you do.

[00:06:44] It's not a baby.

[00:06:45] It's not a baby.

[00:06:46] How old is it?

[00:06:47] If I know anything about children,

[00:06:49] it's that they never discriminate or sing out

[00:06:52] any of their peers in point out.

[00:06:53] Absolutely not.

[00:06:55] They never would have baby.

[00:06:57] Whenever would any kind of child.

[00:06:58] If someone is different around children,

[00:07:01] the children have no one to understand.

[00:07:01] They do not latch on to it immediately.

[00:07:03] They don't.

[00:07:04] And make the person feel self-conscious about.

[00:07:06] Whatever minor difference from the group it has.

[00:07:08] It's always adults to do that.

[00:07:12] Who's the photographer going to Ethiopia

[00:07:14] and taking pictures like that?

[00:07:15] My man's little dick is out to like to shock up.

[00:07:20] He's smiling though, but his cock is out.

[00:07:22] Yeah.

[00:07:23] And I don't like that look, honestly.

[00:07:25] Put some pants on the boy.

[00:07:27] Yeah, I don't like that at all.

[00:07:28] If you're going to take his picture,

[00:07:29] get him some undies at least.

[00:07:30] That's the trade-off, I say.

[00:07:34] Although, like everyone I did jack off

[00:07:36] to like National Geographic in like, you know,

[00:07:42] populations that weren't touched by modernity.

[00:07:44] You've jacked off to a woman with a disc in her lip?

[00:07:48] Yes, I have.

[00:07:50] Some Amazonian little titty type of...

[00:07:53] Oh, your voice.

[00:07:53] Those got saggy floppies.

[00:07:55] They got saggy.

[00:07:55] They were very saggy.

[00:07:57] Yeah.

[00:07:57] I don't know how they got...

[00:07:58] Every once in a while, you'd see a wildly good pair of titties

[00:08:00] and you're like damn, nature versus nurture.

[00:08:02] They're about to drop off.

[00:08:03] Those titties would have been wild in, you know,

[00:08:07] the civilized world.

[00:08:09] Just bring her to steal her away from the savages.

[00:08:13] Hmm.

[00:08:14] I'm trying to go to Papua New Guinea on the titty fucking expedition.

[00:08:18] LAUGHTER

[00:08:20] All the great ship candy, tittie fuck.

[00:08:22] We sail the seven seas.

[00:08:24] We find all the native women to titty fuckers.

[00:08:27] We please...

[00:08:28] I've got some word I'm waving around.

[00:08:30] Just cutting fingers with a machete.

[00:08:32] These guys going through brunch, titty fucking women.

[00:08:35] Good shows, huh?

[00:08:37] LAUGHTER

[00:08:39] And we travel back to Britain.

[00:08:41] Titty fucking, please.

[00:08:42] LAUGHTER

[00:08:48] And this Margaret.

[00:08:49] So Winston is back for his titty fucking expedition

[00:08:52] in the south seas.

[00:08:54] Why did you find a Winston L. Boy?

[00:08:56] Yeah, Richard, tell me.

[00:08:58] Tell me in the southern seas.

[00:09:00] Well, we titty fucked the natives.

[00:09:02] LAUGHTER

[00:09:04] It's just like a seven act musical.

[00:09:06] LAUGHTER

[00:09:08] They don't want any spices, they don't want any gold.

[00:09:13] Yeah.

[00:09:14] And no one cares that my dick is too small to titty fuck.

[00:09:21] He's just the sad sailor.

[00:09:23] They're all titty fucking on the island.

[00:09:25] He's the one left behind to like, you know, scare the war frats

[00:09:29] away from the ship because his dick is too small to titty fuck.

[00:09:32] And they laugh at my dick.

[00:09:35] But who will scare away the war frats if not me?

[00:09:41] LAUGHTER

[00:09:43] Everyone has a purpose.

[00:09:45] Tiny dick Benjamin, stop singing.

[00:09:47] LAUGHTER

[00:09:49] We told you you weren't allowed to sing, you small penis homosexual.

[00:09:52] LAUGHTER

[00:09:54] And that's Adam's death.

[00:09:56] LAUGHTER

[00:09:57] That's how he made his way through the seven seas.

[00:10:00] LAUGHTER

[00:10:02] I'll show you, I'll show all of you.

[00:10:03] And we're titty fuck the native.

[00:10:05] He's on the seven seas.

[00:10:07] LAUGHTER

[00:10:09] LAUGHTER

[00:10:11] They're just confused.

[00:10:13] The natives just confused.

[00:10:14] They don't even really feel raped.

[00:10:16] They're just kind of annoyed.

[00:10:17] This is being held down.

[00:10:18] They're just laughing at you as you can use.

[00:10:20] LAUGHTER

[00:10:21] As you try to titty fuck them.

[00:10:22] Just some like big mustache British guys.

[00:10:24] Whoop whoop whoop whoop.

[00:10:26] LAUGHTER

[00:10:27] Good show chap.

[00:10:28] Go show.

[00:10:29] LAUGHTER

[00:10:31] LAUGHTER

[00:10:33] LAUGHTER

[00:10:35] The good ship, candy titty fuck.

[00:10:37] The good candy ship titty fuck.

[00:10:39] LAUGHTER

[00:10:40] Oh yes, we're all into this.

[00:10:41] The most of them are gay.

[00:10:43] Most of them pretending to like titties.

[00:10:45] Mm hmm.

[00:10:46] Oh if you just pretend to smile.

[00:10:47] Well they're just gay on the boat.

[00:10:48] LAUGHTER

[00:10:49] Well I think dry land then they can do all the raping they like.

[00:10:52] LAUGHTER

[00:10:53] Is that the style of gay those guys were?

[00:10:55] I mean I think that's the style of naval culture.

[00:10:58] Yeah.

[00:10:59] It's so funny because it's like it's weird to think of the British as like the world's worst colonizers because they are so gay.

[00:11:05] Right.

[00:11:06] But then you just think about all the gay rich white guys in San Francisco gentrifying the place.

[00:11:10] True.

[00:11:11] Oh that's just the British.

[00:11:12] Yes.

[00:11:13] That's a good one.

[00:11:14] The tech industry is just the British British.

[00:11:16] That's right brother.

[00:11:17] They're gay guys with their computers.

[00:11:20] Ships were computers back then.

[00:11:22] They were just black people.

[00:11:23] That was the best tech now on the team.

[00:11:24] They were just Peter Theals with mustache.

[00:11:26] Yes black black people from West Africans were like technology.

[00:11:32] Mm hmm.

[00:11:33] Yes.

[00:11:34] So they would go there and then they would get all the tech now.

[00:11:36] Get the new iPhone and bring it over to America and use the technology.

[00:11:41] To gentrify.

[00:11:42] To get stuff.

[00:11:43] You know make cotton or whatever.

[00:11:45] Uh huh.

[00:11:46] To just buy a thing.

[00:11:47] They need that many slaves.

[00:11:48] They're what like shirts.

[00:11:49] Just to make like.

[00:11:50] It's a backhoe shirt.

[00:11:52] So I think they built stuff too.

[00:11:54] Sugar came.

[00:11:55] I think they also raped.

[00:11:57] It's kind of like a.

[00:11:58] Mostly cotton.

[00:11:59] What do you use cotton for underwear?

[00:12:01] Everything for shirts.

[00:12:02] Yeah.

[00:12:03] That was how you're close.

[00:12:04] Yeah.

[00:12:05] How many shirts?

[00:12:06] Slavery was just going into making tall teas.

[00:12:08] Well shirts for the whole for the whole world.

[00:12:10] And we were wearing nine XLs.

[00:12:12] Yeah.

[00:12:13] We were two tall teas.

[00:12:14] Tall teas.

[00:12:15] XLs long teas.

[00:12:17] Yeah.

[00:12:18] Yeah.

[00:12:19] The guy that Eli Whitney or whatever came up with the tall teas.

[00:12:21] Yeah.

[00:12:22] He was a winner.

[00:12:23] He was a winner.

[00:12:25] He invented the four for $15 at foot auction.

[00:12:28] Yeah.

[00:12:29] Tall teas.

[00:12:30] Um.

[00:12:31] I got it for cheap.

[00:12:33] Yeah.

[00:12:34] That is true.

[00:12:35] But yeah.

[00:12:36] You just made a bunch of shirts and shit.

[00:12:38] Caught.

[00:12:39] You know sheets.

[00:12:40] Tows.

[00:12:41] Yeah.

[00:12:42] I think that you need.

[00:12:43] Socks.

[00:12:44] A lot of stuff.

[00:12:45] Although did they have socks back then?

[00:12:46] They had to like tie them.

[00:12:47] They had stockings and goes and buckles.

[00:12:49] They had a tie.

[00:12:50] Shits.

[00:12:51] Imagine tying socks.

[00:12:52] That was a big one.

[00:12:53] Just a little bit of a big thing.

[00:12:56] Yeah.

[00:12:57] A lot of the stuff is going to be a little bit more like a little bit of a thing.

[00:13:01] Yeah.

[00:13:02] Yeah.

[00:13:03] If I was alive, if I went back in time to a pre-track suit world, I'm taking the fucking.

[00:13:06] Maybe so.

[00:13:07] Musket to my dome.

[00:13:08] They're like, look at how many teeth he has.

[00:13:09] Yeah.

[00:13:10] That's right.

[00:13:11] He has almost all of these teeth.

[00:13:14] I'm the best looking, most preserved man in my time.

[00:13:17] How did you get so I'm very rich you see

[00:13:21] I'm a king in my time

[00:13:25] And not ironically yeah, what's ironing nothing shut the fuck up shut up kill this man

[00:13:33] Yes, Lord

[00:13:36] Yeah, that would be awesome

[00:13:39] Yeah, how did where's our poor fat guys back in the day? Oh yes, no some must have had the worst

[00:13:46] Metabolism of all time. They weren't even really fat people until 1970

[00:13:51] No, they were fat guys. No, they got they'd say everyone said fat was bad

[00:13:54] So they got rid of it replaced fat with sugar and then high fructose corn syrup when everything and then it made that's why I'd like

[00:14:00] Caused the obesity epidemic. Uh-huh

[00:14:03] Well, I think well, they were fat people before that no there weren't name one was a couple fat guys

[00:14:09] Yeah, like

[00:14:10] Henry the eighth Winston Churchill knocks the general that we do for knocks. He was fat as shit

[00:14:15] Yeah, Taft Taft was fat a family

[00:14:18] But if you look at Taft like Taft was like the fat president. Uh-huh and Taft is like probably as fat as Donald Trump

[00:14:25] Yeah, he's like Donald Trump's fat

[00:14:28] Taft

[00:14:29] I don't know. I guess my idea of what fat is fit in a bath

[00:14:33] After living in Austin my idea because like guys like Blake would that was like yeah, that guy's like in shape

[00:14:40] Everybody was just a fat disgusting piece of shit. You weren't as fat in New York. I feel like yeah

[00:14:46] I feel like everywhere else people are it's so funny. Just tell you yeah

[00:14:49] If you're a taller man over the age of 24, you're expected to be like I don't know a 32 BMI

[00:14:56] Just an awful fucking mmm. They're like yeah, that's and then they tried to sell it is a dad bod thing

[00:15:02] Mm-hmm. It's like oh you mean you don't take care of yourself. No, I think dad

[00:15:05] I was like responsibility of a child and or weekly magic to gather and eat up

[00:15:11] Well, so yep, I think that Bob was just about like you could be hot, but not have abs. Yeah, it's true

[00:15:18] They were on to something there because there's like a picture of Leo DiCaprio

[00:15:21] And actually the fatter you are the more of a dad bod you have is what I have found out. That's what they say

[00:15:26] I think is that Bob done though. No, it's not it's forever

[00:15:30] Yeah, I mean it was always steroids are back. Let's be honest. It was always fucking dumb as shit

[00:15:35] Uh-huh. No one wants no those were all just rich guys

[00:15:39] That's it. That's all dad bod shit was yeah. Yeah, it's like either you look like Jay Cutler or your gay

[00:15:44] This is the two options Jay Cutler Jay Cutler has dad bodybuilder. Oh, no not the quarterback for the bodybuilder

[00:15:52] No one knows the fuck Jay Cutler everybody all right Phil Heath either you look like Phil

[00:15:56] I don't fucking know but Jay Cutler has you picked the guy who was the exact name of a more famous guy way more

[00:16:02] I'm on par fen well. Maybe not no Jay Cutler was a starting quarterback in the NFL for like a decade

[00:16:08] And he's very and he's very Christian whatever Kevin. No, no, no those last season. He's retired

[00:16:15] He's married to the girl from the Hill. So that makes him even more famous. Yeah

[00:16:19] You guys ever heard this is the bodybuilder big arm. No accuracy what?

[00:16:24] Steve Harvey. Yeah, actually I have

[00:16:28] So what's your point? I think he's good. I know

[00:16:33] You're the only bodybuilders anyone knows

[00:16:36] Arnold Schwarzenegger Lou Ferrigno

[00:16:39] Magnus Verne Magnus. Yep from the ESPN to World's Strongest Mandas. Yes, that is name the mountain

[00:16:45] Isn't that it Magnus Ferd man magnificent? Isn't that it Verne Magnus Verne Magnus?

[00:16:51] It is Magnus Magnuson. Isn't it Magnus Verne Magnus?

[00:17:03] Also, he's not a bodybuilder. He's a strong man same shit. No, it's completely different same. Well, who else Adam thanks

[00:17:11] The mountain from Game of Thrones the rock I guess the rock. Yeah, technically the rock is more of a wrestler

[00:17:17] But you'd say he's a bodybuilder. You could say he's a bodybuilder now. He wasn't when he was a wrestler Dave Batista

[00:17:24] David he's a former wrestler now Mark Wahlberg technically Mark Wahlberg is a body in the community. He's in the world

[00:17:31] Okay, so we named eight so it's all people that are more famous for something else pretty much

[00:17:36] Then body that Magnus Verne Magnuson World's Strongest man

[00:17:41] Iceland who

[00:17:43] Yeah, I really can't think of anyone maybe a UFC guy

[00:17:49] But they're not really far who is mr. Olympia 2018 Nick you don't follow this no, I don't watch mr

[00:17:54] Olympia. I thought you like the poses. I thought you like the oil

[00:17:58] You know you're not into that the oil is so weird the oil is dark they got that motor oil shit

[00:18:03] I was like an old man. It's just black people started winning and they were like we'll see about that

[00:18:08] What is that oil is it like tanning oil? Yeah, I think it's just spray tan shit nice. Yeah for definition Hawaiian Tropic

[00:18:19] Yeah

[00:18:21] Maybe I should be a bodybuilder

[00:18:23] Yeah, maybe I was dreaming about

[00:18:27] Like taking a serum or something a serum that would like knock me out and or maybe like a computer chip or something

[00:18:34] There's something something where someone else uses my body for a couple hours and works out. Mm-hmm. That would be ideal

[00:18:41] Yeah, I get to be in his body

[00:18:43] Yeah, I was playing video games or something

[00:18:45] You're or you can like put yourself into one of those medically induced comas and then just like connect all those

[00:18:51] Electrode's your muscles and then have them

[00:18:54] Contracts that work. I don't think that works

[00:18:58] They try to market that in like the 90s you could just sit on your couch and work out

[00:19:03] Yeah, I like these electrodes. Yeah tits and like your stomach or every once in a while that shit comes back and every every time

[00:19:10] I'm like nice

[00:19:13] Some you just strag them you have to disposable income to literally buy one the next time you see that information

[00:19:18] Maybe I should have listened to my you do you like once a year decide to go into the gym

[00:19:22] I go to the gym every nine months

[00:19:26] And it's like a critical failure every time it's not a critical failure

[00:19:30] I go for a couple weeks and then I feel like pretty good Jack's

[00:19:34] Honestly, I go to the end. This is pretty sad or whatever

[00:19:37] But I go to the gym when I don't have a girlfriend. Yeah, so I try to attract a mate

[00:19:44] But we went to the gym and you had a girlfriend at the time

[00:19:46] Yeah, but I felt like I really didn't need to be there because I had a girlfriend you wanted to go to the gym

[00:19:51] It's like going to a party

[00:19:52] It's like if you know if I'm like I don't really ask me to come to the gym with you and help you look ways

[00:19:57] Yeah, I mean you showed me the ropes. It was a bonding experience. Yeah, we had fun together

[00:20:02] You're wearing jeans that guy yelled at us as we were backing back out of your bug

[00:20:07] Yeah, that was pretty funny and you're like does that happen all the time to you?

[00:20:13] Fuck I gotta get a dentist I just went to the dentist last week. What do they say?

[00:20:18] I haven't been in they said I haven't been usually gay

[00:20:20] I've ever seen and I haven't been in three years and I'm like I'm fucked and they said fine three of your teeth

[00:20:26] They're just I probably once

[00:20:29] Sometimes twice a day, but most the most days once a day. Yeah, I'm a once a day boy. Yeah

[00:20:36] Yeah, before I go cab head. I don't know. Yeah, maybe after after the the coffees and shit

[00:20:41] If you had some kind of real fucked up apparently before bed is more important than in the morning, of course. Yeah, I

[00:20:48] Didn't know that I could see that

[00:20:50] Yeah, I mean you should brush your teeth like before bed and then after breakfast people say you're supposed to be like four fucking like four after meals and shit

[00:20:58] Yeah, I can honestly suck my hard penis

[00:21:02] Yeah, I had a boss who used to floss and brushes teeth after every meal and I did not respect him. You have great teeth

[00:21:09] I didn't respect him. Hmm and he would wipe before everyone of Adams meals his courtesy

[00:21:15] He would wipe my ass no he would wipe his ass before you ate his ass

[00:21:26] Time to like not even one up the joke just reiterate what you think it is so you can know

[00:21:31] I'm telling you what I think it is is that he wiped my ass before you ate my ass. No, absolutely because that is how you

[00:21:38] treat no

[00:21:40] So much who's go to Adam? Where'd you find this dent my friends mom and Queens and Dasha afterwards said that?

[00:21:48] Dentistry is a racket for the Jews

[00:21:50] She's not wrong

[00:21:52] You heard of your first Dasha neck or so of a doing anti-semitage

[00:21:56] Is she canceled she does it all the time? She's canceled. I heard that Anna burned across

[00:22:03] Okay

[00:22:06] She's canceled she's canceled

[00:22:08] Who is this person can I get the hookup? It's Phil's mom. Oh, so they tried you double zero

[00:22:17] Oh who told me they don't have dental insurance. Yeah, I don't have any kind of insurance. Yeah, so she

[00:22:22] She good she good dentists. I just got insurance. She's she has a she's not she doesn't have a delicate

[00:22:30] Touch but let me tell you something else. I need to know

[00:22:33] They give you they give you gas which I've never had before you know, it's please

[00:22:39] Bro, I take it now last time I got last time I got my fucking

[00:22:43] Poppers dude, bro when I got my teeth cleaned it hurt more than getting my shit pulled this little Bolivian woman

[00:22:51] Fuck my shit. Oh much. She was like, uh-uh that could feel everything and when I spit

[00:22:56] It was like dark red blood

[00:22:58] Yeah, it was like the shit that comes out of you when you slice up a fucking liver or some shit look

[00:23:02] I don't even want to think about it. It was my teeth already hurt

[00:23:05] Dude, I take the laughing gas

[00:23:06] I saw the nitrous tanks in their office. They have these three huge nitrous tanks and I was like I had half of mine

[00:23:13] It's be like I'm just gonna steal one of these right now

[00:23:15] Follow fish for the summer sell balloons in the lot. You can make so much fucking money

[00:23:20] Oh, do people sell balloons of laughing gas? They sell balloons of yeah, all kind nitrous. Yeah, all kinds of shit really

[00:23:27] Yeah, I remember I went to star star scape. Uh-huh. I remember stars. Yeah, and there was guys

[00:23:32] Just I think they go around and go

[00:23:35] Bloons Bloons Bloons Bloons this was full of heroin

[00:23:41] Bloons Max. Oh he came up on two tanks one summer went to went to fish show

[00:23:47] Him and his brother sold out made like 50 thousand dollars or something what and then the second tank

[00:23:53] He just chieft for a summer. He just like 50 thousand dollars

[00:23:57] Yeah, like tens of thousands of dollars

[00:23:59] And then like like and then you what chief the second tank for a summer and by the end of the summer

[00:24:04] He got nitrous poisoning and like couldn't feel

[00:24:09] Couldn't feel his hands are feet for like three weeks. That's incredible. He thought he was gonna die

[00:24:13] Did he jerk off did he give himself a double stranger? I have no idea that much that would be like yeah

[00:24:18] Yeah, that would be like a double strangers that you go you go both hands on your dick

[00:24:22] Yes, or you alternate

[00:24:27] Your hands can be juggling your own dick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like I don't know that was pretty good right hand

[00:24:33] But let's see what's left

[00:24:36] Share this chef and see

[00:24:40] It's tough to get your hands on them. You got to get them from like the mafia or something

[00:24:44] They're like heavily regulated. Yeah, you can't get him like for like a party supplier

[00:24:48] I'm gonna be like a dentist or like a

[00:24:50] Nitrous. Yeah. Yeah, how did he come up on them then some shady characters?

[00:24:57] How old was he that he get was in touch with these probably like

[00:25:01] That's insane. Yeah, and he made that much money. Yeah, they used to make a shit ton of money

[00:25:07] Fuck dude. I want to make a jam. I want to make that much money

[00:25:10] How about you know what we call a Robert's oxygen and see yeah, I see Robert's oxygen everywhere. Yeah, well, you know

[00:25:17] We could do dude fake acid make a shit ton of money

[00:25:22] No, but no, they'd be like I'm not they'd find out later. We just tell them it takes a little it takes like

[00:25:30] Headed and we're gone. Yeah, this yeah, then we're fucking gone cross. Oh, you know, what's real diabolical you mix in like

[00:25:36] You mix in like 10 real hits of acid like if you sell to like a big group two of them are real

[00:25:45] Mm-hmm, and so too

[00:25:48] And then the other guy just feels like an asshole. Yeah. Yeah, many fakes like you stripping. Uh-huh. Yeah, it was insecure enough

[00:25:55] We only sold a Pussies and that my most

[00:25:58] one of my most

[00:26:00] Probably embarrassing moments growing up. Mm-hmm was my friends rolled a joint and I'd never smoked weed before we were like 13 and

[00:26:11] They lit it and I took a hit I start coughing like crazy and stuff

[00:26:15] I'm you know, I think I'm gonna throw up and they're like are you hi?

[00:26:19] I was like I think I am and they're like they just picked grass off the ground on their front yard

[00:26:25] They're like you're a fucking liar

[00:26:27] You

[00:26:30] Fuck those kids. Yeah, my friend David. That's fucked up, dude

[00:26:34] They were trying to they were just trying to embarrass you. Yeah, that's not a real friend

[00:26:38] I mean, that's what happens on this show. It's not a real friend. No, you embarrass yourself

[00:26:42] I mean we smoked weed later that day, but yeah, no dude. I was so excited about smoking weed and oh

[00:26:49] Yeah, did you want to be a stoner before you ever even tried weed? I was scared dude. Oh, I thought it was so cool

[00:26:56] I was so scared to go school. It was the reason

[00:27:00] Yeah half baked and then I thought like wood stock was cool and stuff

[00:27:04] When I was like 11 when was the first time you smoked weed when I was 13 so eighth grade

[00:27:10] Seventh grade seventh grade. Yeah, seventh grade is when

[00:27:14] Kids were smoking weed and it was I gotta say it was the Jews. I don't know what the fuck it is. You use that weed

[00:27:22] This kid Jordi would come to school high as shit

[00:27:24] And they were making plans to like have a party where people smoke weed and I was like I was too

[00:27:32] I was scared. I was like, all right. I'm gonna bring a change of clothes

[00:27:35] So if my mom can't smell so I'm gonna smoke it and my mom can't smell it a shower

[00:27:39] I'm just literally like can I shower your place? I was so scared

[00:27:43] I was gonna get caught and I just ended up pretending I was so funny

[00:27:46] I never I was never worried about getting caught with drugs, but pornography

[00:27:50] Like to this day if my mom is like do you look at porn? I'm happy

[00:27:55] No, of course not. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Never. I'm trying off

[00:28:01] Have you seen my syringe?

[00:28:03] I never dejacked off once. I was doing heroin

[00:28:10] Yeah, there's just something so much more shameful that

[00:28:13] That is so something about your psychology

[00:28:17] Then it's like just a very basic ass desire that everyone has you're like no, I can't admit it. Yeah

[00:28:26] Boy, yeah, I'm interested in purchasing some oxygen

[00:28:32] Yeah, let's get nitrous. I mean there's a bunch of stuff

[00:28:36] Like what else I think it's hard to get your hands on a man's penis

[00:28:39] Wait a second. I'm looking at Nick's phones now. It says where to buy a man's penis. How do you buy like just a loose penis?

[00:28:47] I don't know. He's the one googling it. No, it says Robert's oxygen in road, North Carolina

[00:28:52] Come visit our showroom for all your welding needs and for a man's penis needs

[00:28:56] Yeah, what what kind of besides like the densest office would you need like an industrial nitrous?

[00:29:01] Like you said like what what?

[00:29:05] Fast and a little too furious. Yeah, that's true

[00:29:08] Where do they get gnoss for their cars?

[00:29:11] Good, but that's not street legal those guys don't care about the law. They just want to push it

[00:29:16] But what I don't care about the law either

[00:29:18] No, I don't you all fuck about the law. Can you fuck it sovereign citizen, dude? I don't respect the laws of this country

[00:29:25] You can buy it at advanced auto parts. What? Yeah

[00:29:29] But not you can't sniff it though given its myriad uses is it's not illegal to sell or possess nitrous oxide

[00:29:36] laughing gas

[00:29:38] Yeah, in the United States or however many laws regarding the distribution of minors and the recreational

[00:29:44] recreational inhalation of nitrous mmm

[00:29:48] Often a misdemeanor in several states is misuse is a felony Wow

[00:29:52] Do you ever get a there's gotta be just gotta be different rates so so you don't need to know as Adam said the mafia?

[00:29:59] I'm pretty sure you need the mafia

[00:30:02] There's gotta be different grades though. You know what I mean like

[00:30:05] Safe for inhaling versus safe for a fucking car or whatever

[00:30:11] No, it's the same gas and also you can't get like a full tank for your car. Can you why would full tank wouldn't fit a fucking

[00:30:18] Six-foot tank of nitrous. That's why I saw the dentist's office. I was like that's sick. Yeah

[00:30:24] It is so funny that just immediately found a legal way to buy something you claimed maybe not the sound right but I didn't think about it

[00:30:33] I didn't care. I think it is regulated the mafia to not even like drug dealers

[00:30:39] No, you gotta go like four levels above their head

[00:30:43] Wise guys

[00:30:45] You need to go to a pork store

[00:30:48] To the back room of a strip club home

[00:30:52] I just came up on these nitrous tanks, Tom. Whoa, whoa, whoa be careful. Whoa

[00:30:57] That's very

[00:30:59] That's a fucking hot you're gonna be the fucking cops here the fucking feds are watching

[00:31:07] That's like

[00:31:12] That was one of the funniest things of all time we're playing super smash brothers and we're all

[00:31:17] Selecting names. Yeah, no, I started you said that I started thinking about this. Sorry the

[00:31:24] The caprice that's not Noss powered in the movie black sheep

[00:31:33] Yeah, he's got the cop car with nitrous in it. I remember thinking that was like fucking badass

[00:31:39] I remember the first time I saw it. I didn't understand. I didn't understand what kill whitey meant

[00:31:44] Yeah, when he does that speech and then I didn't know why at the end I like was laughing, but I was like I had no idea

[00:31:51] Who's why I had no idea?

[00:31:54] Yeah, but he was I really did not dude. I grew up in such a fucking dumb racist like community like when I was a little

[00:32:00] As kid I didn't just I had just no idea

[00:32:04] About anything until I got to middle school. Oh, yeah, it's Greek down was so insular

[00:32:08] It was like we were in southeast Baltimore

[00:32:10] We were like neighboring the hood on one side and like just at that point Kent which was

[00:32:16] Getting very judge by but was also just like trashy when I was very young

[00:32:20] But still all I my whole world was just

[00:32:23] Like the six blocks from my fucking house to my school and my church. That's all the fuck

[00:32:28] I knew those are the restaurants we went to when we were like

[00:32:32] Really trying to like be fancy would go to white marshmall which is like 15 minutes up the highway. Yeah

[00:32:38] And to me that was a long-ass drive. Mm-hmm. That's all I fucking use everyone was just fucking dumb and racist and like

[00:32:44] That movie is on Comedy Central. I'm sure by a Capri every day. Oh, yeah

[00:32:49] So by how much by fuck hell. Yes, that'd be sick, dude. Damn. I was picturing a different car

[00:32:56] That is so much cool. The movie a priest classic. Yes, I was

[00:32:59] The 90s bubbles exactly that's exactly no those are garbage. Yeah, that was the way you're Capri's like an 87

[00:33:08] Oh, it's a

[00:33:10] same as

[00:33:11] Does that count as a muscle car?

[00:33:16] If you I think that there was a good SS package on the Capri's what is a muscle car?

[00:33:22] Like a sedan or it was an American car with like an overpowered engine lot of horsepower

[00:33:28] Mm-hmm. A lot of damn horses on a lot of ponies you guys ever ride a horse. Yeah, where?

[00:33:36] Zion National Park

[00:33:39] Where's that in Utah nice? I've written horses also really yeah, it really hurts your thighs

[00:33:47] The next day you wake up in your thighs feel like jealous their chapter

[00:33:51] They hurt or they you put a lot of because you're like squeezing yourself on the horse with your thighs

[00:33:56] Like so you don't fall off inch so cowboys must have thick thighs. Yeah, they're probably jacked thighs

[00:34:02] Is that why Abraham Lincoln fucked his friends thighs doesn't look like there was an SS Capri's and there was an SS Monte Carlo

[00:34:08] But I don't know if they had

[00:34:11] Super sport Capri's package. Did you ever ride a horse Nick?

[00:34:15] I've been on one of those like you sit on the horse and then they like you go with a row

[00:34:20] No, no, I follow other people like one of those yeah

[00:34:22] Yeah, I've been on one of those yeah, yeah, I've never been on like an actual fuck. I've never galloped. Yeah, dude

[00:34:27] I want to gallop. I want a big I would need a Clydesdale probably yeah

[00:34:31] I want to gallop on that motherfucker. Uh-huh. I

[00:34:34] Want a big-ass horse you guys got little ass ponies. I would be down to like get into some equestrian style shit

[00:34:43] Now I've never been on a horse. I was too fat

[00:34:45] I would go there would be like

[00:34:47] Child's parties where some guy had a look like some girl had a pony and I was way too fat you ever see that picture of

[00:34:52] Who's that white guy in the NBA was a center who played for Germany, but he was American. Oh

[00:34:59] Yeah, Chris came in oh Chris came in Chris came in yeah

[00:35:02] Have you ever see that picture of him on a horse? No hilarious. There's a wonderful picture of eldest on a horse

[00:35:10] To see it I'm already

[00:35:12] I'm late if you don't it was incredible dude. He was completely nude

[00:35:21] He was in like ninth grade in the weird he looked weird anyway like you know dumbass horrible adolescents plus

[00:35:27] He's just fattish shit

[00:35:31] Oh this shit fucking rules do this big rules. What are you looking at Chris came from the horse. Oh

[00:35:37] Yeah, that's a good one

[00:35:39] That's a good one chief

[00:35:43] What about any other

[00:35:45] I want to ride an elephant that seems like fun. Oh, yeah, the horses has his cock out and his pissing nice

[00:35:52] Are sure you're not too fat to ride now? No, I'm pretty sure I can handle

[00:35:57] I am sorry, but you are too fat

[00:36:01] Scalia wrote an elephant dude. I can ride a fucking elephant. Why I'm sorry sir, but you are fat

[00:36:05] I

[00:36:08] Know fuck that how tall was Scalia he was dollar than you

[00:36:13] He was five foot four

[00:36:16] First of all with the same height, so that's how you're in school year both now me and you bitch no inches no

[00:36:23] easily no easily inches barely

[00:36:27] Antony so barely taller than you no yeah, you just said that no I didn't I did I said barely is

[00:36:34] Stan Scalia is five seven. I'm probably I'm a little he's five seven. He was he's a short king

[00:36:40] He's just a girl looking at the two of us and she's like hmm who will I have sex with she's like wait a second

[00:36:46] stand back the back

[00:36:49] and then with the computer like just zooms in while making the like

[00:36:54] matrix

[00:36:57] And then we see and then I'm a fraction only because of your hair fraction that's still taller bitch

[00:37:03] That's part of my body. It doesn't count fucking dumb ass. I'll wear a hat. Okay. Who's hair is it huh?

[00:37:08] Who's hair is I don't know I can't I don't know for sure if you got plugs who's here is it?

[00:37:12] I don't think you should count the hair. Thank you. You should count the hair

[00:37:16] Because you could have an afro and then be like very true all right yeah all right then we're taking away your Jew

[00:37:21] Throw from you and you're fucking five one. I'm not five one without

[00:37:26] Yeah, was your fucking well that bad Arnold friends. Well just sessions is by five

[00:37:33] He's five truly is a fucking elf. Just sessions looks like Billy quiz boy

[00:37:37] He looks like the guy from uh magnolia the old guy in the gay bar

[00:37:43] I don't know him the Nazi from blues brothers. They never saw blues brothers. What?

[00:37:49] Let's see what marina scalia looks like

[00:37:52] I bet she's fucking ugly

[00:37:54] Let's see

[00:37:56] Okay, that was another problem with the

[00:37:59] Dick Cheney movie is that christian bales too big dick Cheney was kind of

[00:38:04] Fivate or five seven

[00:38:08] What yeah, and then it's all the bill and still have names like flat top or foreskin or whatever

[00:38:13] And then they just got weird

[00:38:15] prosthetic dicks dick

[00:38:18] Oh, it's a dick

[00:38:21] Mm-hmm

[00:38:23] Like adam's like yeah, what's the rumpus chopper

[00:38:31] Just dress like a gunball

[00:38:34] People are like what is this movie like I don't know this guy doesn't like his friends

[00:38:41] Guys gay. Yeah, it's been 10 million dollars. Oh this guy who's got too much money and he's yeah

[00:38:46] He's calling his friend gays who made a movie

[00:38:48] I don't know you should see his other movie. It's this musical about sailing

[00:38:55] Yo scalia had hella daughters. Yeah, I fucked all of them

[00:38:59] Yeah, that's because god hated him some of them are kind of some of them could get it

[00:39:05] Jack scalia has hot daughter who's jack scalia, but he's got hot daughters

[00:39:10] Oh well

[00:39:12] Wait, how tall was dick? She wasn't a big guy? Cheney was like five eight

[00:39:15] Or like five nine

[00:39:18] Did he he's five eight he played football. Yeah, but yeah, but uh christian bale is like too big

[00:39:24] He seemed like like big and imposing he got fat for it and it just made him look like a whole king

[00:39:29] You know how tall how tall is christian bale six one?

[00:39:32] Oh, yeah, but like the other actors look much smaller. Look at this

[00:39:36] 77 caprice that's a cute car man. It's clean, huh? That is clean how much?

[00:39:41] Uh, eighty five hundred dollars dude bite cash fuck. Yeah cash cash offer

[00:39:47] Be like i'll give you eight g's cash and you have to suck my friends. Give me two thousand dollars cash

[00:39:53] Take it or like we don't we're not hiding this from the government. We don't need

[00:39:57] Yeah

[00:40:00] Like all right 3000 3000 3000 bitcoin

[00:40:06] Like you know that's like $400,000

[00:40:09] Shut up

[00:40:12] Deal or no deal

[00:40:15] Ah fuck man

[00:40:19] Yeah, I hope the cryptocurrency shit comes back. I can break even in like nine years

[00:40:24] Yeah, when you're raising your children, dude, it sucks

[00:40:29] She fucking sucks dude. I'm trying to buy a house your boy emailed me some options. Nice. Yeah

[00:40:35] You should buy a house. I will buy a house. We're gonna start doing the podcast

[00:40:40] I love it. Yeah. I want us to spend months of the year in Baltimore. Yeah, that would rule

[00:40:46] Zadam has to drive every like twice a week. He has to take a tram track

[00:40:53] Amtrak free plan dude. Yeah

[00:40:55] You're like why can't we do it in my place?

[00:41:00] Fuck oh, he just comes down and he's like guys i'm outside the place. It's like oh shit

[00:41:04] We're actually we went back to New York. Yeah, he told you we're

[00:41:09] Take the train back now

[00:41:11] You gotta take the train back now

[00:41:13] We have to do the podcast

[00:41:16] Fuck dude. That would be awesome. Mm-hmm. And Baltimore. You have so much space too. Yeah

[00:41:21] Yard a grill. Yeah, dude. A little woodshop down in the basement. Yes. Nice man thinking about dusted extraction. Yes, man

[00:41:29] inhaling massive amounts of sawdust yummy. Yeah, just spray painting down there spray paint down there

[00:41:35] Do cracker my graffiti when I would like her. I would work with my dad

[00:41:39] And I would I would get fucked up lacquerings some Latino guy. There's like buys a house

[00:41:43] He's like finally I got a place down here where I could practice my graffiti

[00:41:47] Fuck up

[00:41:58] I just had to get the whole my graffiti. I love doing my graffiti so much

[00:42:04] Yeah, maybe I'll be a street artist

[00:42:07] You know, it's pretty cool and not fucking dumb as shit. That's for sure. Mm street art

[00:42:12] Yeah, dude. Banksy definitely gets a ton of pussy. He probably does

[00:42:18] No, cuz no one knows what he looks like. Oh, you think this is a bunch of British guys like I love

[00:42:24] Guys trying to get away. Oh, I'm fucking banks

[00:42:28] Yeah, did you see my fucking

[00:42:31] Oh my guy as stencil that I did. I did the queen of england, but she had a fucking mustache

[00:42:37] Like hit like hit like

[00:42:39] Yeah, no, it's police officer. What and he's holding a banana and it says cops to real coons

[00:42:52] Is this the turning point for banks

[00:42:56] Somebody comes to shock. It's so funny. We think america is so racist, but like europe is just like so much more insane damn

[00:43:04] But but speak church. No, no, no, no, no, never mind

[00:43:10] Dane, but like black soccer players in europe

[00:43:12] Testifile literally just get bananas thrown at them every single game

[00:43:17] The the entire the entire stadium of like uh inter Milan

[00:43:21] Yeah, was doing a chant at this black player for knoppily

[00:43:25] Calling him a monkey the entire game. Well, european racism is like pure

[00:43:29] Like they're not hiding it the way america was also their countries are built off of ethnicities too

[00:43:36] Yeah, but it's like don't get wrong. It's obviously horrible

[00:43:38] But it's like you can at least just be like stop doing that

[00:43:42] And whereas here it's like people claim to not be racist or the spanish kid when I was like 11 or something

[00:43:49] You know, I was like he was like new to america

[00:43:52] And so it was like, you know, just like you know like I'd say hey

[00:43:55] So like what like what's different and like, you know, I'm like just talking to them

[00:43:58] I'm like, do you like america is it like a culture shock or whatever?

[00:44:01] He's like he's like uh to be honest with you. I like prefer spain

[00:44:05] And I was like why he's like it's not as contaminated as america

[00:44:10] I was like, what do you I'm like the water like yeah. Yeah, just get a Brita filter. Yeah. Yeah, that's crazy

[00:44:17] I know I mean like culturally or whatever

[00:44:20] Yeah

[00:44:21] It's a damn it ain't it's like so weird to me because at the time I was like does this spick think he's white

[00:44:29] You know, I like it just blew my mind

[00:44:32] A spanish person thought he was dude you're fucking mexican. Yeah, I was like you're fucking yeah

[00:44:38] Watch your fucking tongue. Yeah, you're just trash fucking wet back

[00:44:42] Will send you back to guadalajara. Oh my god

[00:44:46] He's just like some fucking white aristocrat from spain. Yeah, he's like i'm from barthenona

[00:44:50] What do you look like huh did was he white guy the white uh

[00:44:54] Yeah

[00:44:56] Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean he looked like you. Yeah, beautiful

[00:45:00] Fab he's just a beautiful mediterranean man. I got you. Yeah, I remember not knowing that asian people were racist to each other

[00:45:07] I thought they'd all be friends

[00:45:11] Because they're all asian then I found out that

[00:45:13] You know people hate the chinese if you're japanese or whatever. I was like that makes no sense

[00:45:18] Why would they why would they all be cool and koreans really switched up on them?

[00:45:21] They went from being at the bottom for being trash to being like they got all the good shit. There's still some songs

[00:45:28] Dude the plastic surgery shit there is insane. Yeah, no people go nuts in like in jak like sailing

[00:45:34] They do at home plastic surgery. Yeah, you can go to that all while sailing into their fucking

[00:45:40] Eyebrows and then and then like die

[00:45:42] Yeah, yeah, we're trying to have like bigger eyelid. It's something like if you don't get it

[00:45:48] You're dirt poor

[00:45:51] And that's like their cultural like they they value it to that level like you get it just so you can prove to everyone

[00:45:57] We should go to we should go to fucking soul

[00:46:00] I'd go to south korea. You go in the mall appointment free and get

[00:46:04] Plastic surgery really yeah, should we go just walk up and get some plastic?

[00:46:08] Should we go look more good huge dicks?

[00:46:13] Folds above their eyelids because asian people don't have the epicantic folds

[00:46:18] No, they do have epicantic or yeah, right they get it and they get them removed or whatever

[00:46:23] So their eyes can look more western

[00:46:25] Shout out to you by the way

[00:46:27] Is that what she has is that why people say she's an amber

[00:46:31] She looks Eskimo

[00:46:33] That's a cool look to be white and have those I think it's cool

[00:46:39] I wish I had them yeah people know that like dudes like sue their wife or there it doesn't happen

[00:46:45] It happened at one time. We saw that viral thing that might be fake. It's probably

[00:46:51] Some there was some some article that I think this might have been literally in the facebook days

[00:46:57] It might have been

[00:46:59] Like some guys sued his chinese wife because she's korean wife korean wife

[00:47:04] Because she got plastic surgery and they had ugly ass kids

[00:47:08] And he's like I didn't know you were actually ugly. Yeah, do you ever see before and after as though of korean plastic surgery?

[00:47:15] They're like

[00:47:16] They're so funny. Yeah. Yeah, like some busted ass people and then you like see them you're like god

[00:47:21] That's everyone who gets plastic surgery though, right? No a lot of the time it looks most of the time. I think it looks bad

[00:47:27] I

[00:47:28] Yeah, yeah, I guess it's if you're old as shit

[00:47:32] But if you're like kind of fucking ugly and young and you get plastic surgery, you're probably look good

[00:47:37] I've seen I've seen it doesn't hold up. Don't get wrong. It doesn't hold up

[00:47:41] But you get a couple your your prime burns brighter

[00:47:45] You're more fuckable in your prime. Yeah, I mean remember what I look like when I buy this caprice man

[00:47:50] So buy it. Where is it? Here's another one, but all the work's already been done. Do it. Oh, you want to do it

[00:47:55] Yeah, yeah, where are you gonna work on it? You know to that bad boy? Oh

[00:48:00] Jesus. That's not true. I can't I'm a glass that that that bitch looks like Bigfoot in the before

[00:48:07] She's a kpop star in the after

[00:48:10] She has one of the biggest jaws. I've ever seen in my fucking life

[00:48:14] Had him a showing nick up. This is safe. There's no way that's true

[00:48:17] That's absolutely they must have shaved four inches of your adam. You're laughing at like a meme for like uncles on

[00:48:26] I look how ugly she'd look in the before picture and then after one. There's a man, dude

[00:48:34] The before is a dude and the after is a hot kpop lady

[00:48:41] Let me fuck your father's ass. Yeah, this is not this is not real

[00:48:45] Yeah, that's for sure 100 real dude

[00:48:49] I saw it on a facebook who gives a fuck dude

[00:48:54] Think how ugly this girl is still her teeth are baba busta. Yeah

[00:49:00] She must be north korean

[00:49:04] Which part you're from korea which one

[00:49:09] Yo, you know that guy

[00:49:11] Remember in austin powers random task. Yes, the odd job. Yeah, you know, he's in prison for yes rape

[00:49:20] Raping like wildly at gunpoint. Yeah, like incredibly violent rape. I remember that. I'm thinking like god damn

[00:49:28] Have you seen the video of them because he was arrested for vandalism and then his dna match like a

[00:49:33] It was a christmas eve rape from 1990 holy really it was like a old school. Yeah, it was like 20 years prior

[00:49:41] Damn like an unsolved. That's wild that he got the one rape kit that was ever actually processed. Yeah, mr

[00:49:47] Son, uh, what do you say that you do like he's like, oh, I'm an actor. You know, he's like, uh, what do you like?

[00:49:52] You know, I'm in comedy. Yeah, actually you I'm on Wikipedia. Believe it or not. You can like look at opinos and uh, awesome power movies

[00:49:58] And then they're like, okay, we'll tell you why you're here. Um, so

[00:50:04] Christmas eve 1990 19 year old girl walking through a carport

[00:50:07] She gets pulled into and you can see in his face that he's like damn

[00:50:12] Holy shit real this video of them telling him

[00:50:15] They got him like dead to rights. Oh no

[00:50:18] And they're like, uh, and he takes a shoe off the tricep thrower at gunpoint sexually salter

[00:50:23] He's like that's bad. He's like you're right. It is bad. He's like dna says it's you

[00:50:27] And he's like you got the wrong guy and he's like, okay. Well, we showed her your picture

[00:50:31] That's you

[00:50:33] She said without question and like the I don't know the prosecutor detective or whatever it is. He's like he's like you're fucked

[00:50:42] You understand with that like alone. You're you're just he's like no, it's odd job. Yeah, I'm I was the guy parodying

[00:50:50] He's like, okay. Are you familiar with uh, awesome powers too

[00:50:55] He's like listen, how about I get verd to sign some stuff over here?

[00:50:59] Is it

[00:51:01] Dude, that would be great at Austin powers movie where he has to save random tasks from prison

[00:51:07] From rape he's like get him off on his rape charges. What's that mini me the me too movement is ruining comedy

[00:51:15] Mini me too. Yeah, baby

[00:51:20] Mini me too

[00:51:22] Come on, baby in the 70s. That wasn't even considered a crime, baby

[00:51:26] Me too. It's like a woman being like I was raped and like a midget and little motor

[00:51:38] Buddy there we go. Yeah, mini me too everyone. Yeah, there's another about Mickey Mouse and then his girlfriend is me too mouse

[00:51:45] And mini mouse

[00:52:00] Those a family guy joke right as mini mouse having to take her clothes off or wall Disney. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You want to be a star

[00:52:08] Do I do I have to?

[00:52:10] Family guy predicting the me too. Dude. Seth McFarland is like, you know that guy's a hero almost in a way for that for that

[00:52:18] For that for pointing out rape before whenever we thought it was just a funny joke. Seth was

[00:52:24] Also doing jokes. Yeah, just joking about it. Also, he kept going even though everyone was telling him his show sucked and so

[00:52:31] He went in on Brian Singer like way back in the day. Yeah. Yeah good for family guys family guys got everyone also calls him gay too

[00:52:38] Yeah, he's probably gay. Is he gay? He's probably gay

[00:52:42] I would assume so why else would he be going in a brine sings a lot?

[00:52:46] He likes musicals he dated Olivia Munn who only dates only dt a guy Aaron Rogers

[00:52:51] Well, so she dated people care about Brian Singer. Yeah, that is true. What do you mean?

[00:52:57] That is true, especially the people this year. Yeah, especially the guy that had a two-week

[00:53:03] No, I care about everything. I'm a man of

[00:53:05] Mm-hmm. I don't know you just said it yourself. I called yourself Gage's Nick. It's fine that you just came out of the closet indirectly

[00:53:11] Yeah, it's 2019 almost about to be baby. Is it I think so I'm mad there's not more caprice options on Craigslist

[00:53:19] There's only really those two

[00:53:22] Hmm

[00:53:24] There might be a couple more how fast is are those you can get them fast?

[00:53:28] I mean, I guess you're making it quick. You can make them quick. Yeah, what's the difference?

[00:53:35] Well, fast is zero to 60 is quick. It's quick fast is like top speed. That's velocity as opposed to speed velocity is speed plus direction

[00:53:46] Something like that times time velocity is yeah, you're right. This is a thing. It's something with time

[00:53:51] He's like he's like homework nerds old email app. They get fucking live and they're like how dare you not remember what the derivative of we're

[00:53:59] 30 we haven't been in school in forever. I haven't been I have not you dropped out of high school. I've not learned anything since 2003

[00:54:11] I'm so done learning shit, but we learned things but no one on their own is gonna learn that kind of shit

[00:54:17] Yeah, that's shit. You have to learn in school, but you're not like it's not like an interesting thing you want to learn about

[00:54:23] Yeah, my brain is spent thinking up things like I was imagining Richard gear in a video store

[00:54:28] He's looking lovingly at the cover of five old goes west

[00:54:34] And then you see him like just stare off in the distance and he's imagining a guinea pig wearing a little cowboy hat

[00:54:39] That's what my brain does I don't do numbers bitch just calling the costume store. Yeah. Yeah, no, we don't have mouse size

[00:54:53] Cowboy hats either Richard

[00:55:00] Well, I'll make it myself then I gotta go for my to go get a haircut

[00:55:05] I'm getting his vagina shaved. Yeah, I'm getting a Brazilian here pussy waxed. I call it a haircut

[00:55:12] Hold on. What's how long have we been doing? No, we got another five minutes. Yeah, Adam wants to leave his job

[00:55:19] Early to get a haircut

[00:55:22] To get how much a $95 haircut no, it's like a 75

[00:55:27] $1,199 no chance. Yeah

[00:55:30] No way great clips, baby. Yeah, right, dude

[00:55:32] Superco you're that you're gonna some bullshit don't expose me

[00:55:37] I don't know what I'm doing and I typed in craigslist into the search on craigslist

[00:55:43] Because I like you know I have brain problems. Yeah. Yeah, and then you get some wild results

[00:55:49] When you search craigslist on craigslist

[00:55:51] Is that one this is iPhone 6s cheapest on craigslist and it's clearly a canon power shot

[00:55:58] Not a cell phone at all

[00:56:00] I want it yourself

[00:56:04] Fuck I got a clean I hate cleaning dude. I got to throw away all my shit. I'm almost done

[00:56:11] 1997 Toyota Camry the best one on craigslist

[00:56:17] $2,000 respect

[00:56:20] This is mechanically the best and most reliable camry camry on craigslist adult owned by a mechanic

[00:56:27] What one over?

[00:56:31] No children driving around this fucking car. I'll tell you that much adult. Oh, what is that?

[00:56:37] Adult it's an adult car which means

[00:56:40] Pornogor before we shoot porn six this is a camry from

[00:56:45] fake taxi driver from England

[00:56:47] You guys ever see those pornos

[00:56:50] fake fake oh, yeah, yeah black cabs fake taxi or something like that. Yeah. Yeah, and it's some british guy

[00:56:55] Yeah, he's driving and then he's he's we have a bit of fun

[00:57:01] Yeah, that's I'm having a big time there bang bus technically there's a lot of fake things

[00:57:06] And it's like they were so we're to believe that this man

[00:57:11] Convinced this woman to fuck him in car my friend told me the day that the most famous alumni of his high school

[00:57:18] The the two most famous were jeff Bezos and the reality kings

[00:57:22] The reality kings in Miami. Yeah, yeah

[00:57:26] Jeff Bezos went to Miami. I guess he's from Miami. Yeah, huh?

[00:57:30] The reality the reality salute to those guys they do good work

[00:57:35] They were I was always more of a bang bus bang

[00:57:37] They were they were the new kids in town for a while and I didn't trust it

[00:57:41] Yeah, but it's now it feels like the NSYNC backstreet boys thing right there

[00:57:45] But I was on board with backstreet boys because of loyalty

[00:57:48] But reality kings is doing I think better stuff these days and it's undeniable honestly

[00:57:56] I keep getting this ad I tried the 8th street latinas was one of their things. Oh, was that them?

[00:58:02] Yeah, I always wondered where 8th street was yeah, me too. I was like are these like a couple of nollens gals

[00:58:09] Anytown

[00:58:11] Maybe that's what it was a kept it. I was supposed to know what 8th street is

[00:58:15] Well, so I was intimidated by everything

[00:58:18] Pornography me it sounds like you had a real hang up with pornography. No, I'm not

[00:58:24] Consuming pornography. I mean getting caught with it. Yeah, for sure

[00:58:27] But like yeah, like what I didn't feel like it wasn't cool enough to know what to jack off to 8th to 8th street boys

[00:58:33] No, I beat off all the time. Oh, yeah

[00:58:36] Yeah, there was you feel bad about it

[00:58:38] I didn't feel bad again. It's like just getting caught right right right. It's not the it's not the actual crime

[00:58:45] Yeah, no, I don't give a shit about things they do. Yeah, it's not a conscience. I do things that make me feel good

[00:58:50] I don't consider the consequence. Yeah. Yeah, amen to that brother

[00:58:56] Fuck should I

[00:58:58] Did so many drugs over Christmas through damn beautiful very large chinese salon jade Confucius statues how much?

[00:59:05] $750 well how big easy money statues easy money. We need those don't tell Adam about it

[00:59:12] That's awesome. I'm trying to get more into statues

[00:59:16] You already have statues in your apartment. I got a couple

[00:59:19] I want more though. I should have someone make a statue of me

[00:59:23] Does any oh there's also a you can go to like in china? They have like places you can get

[00:59:28] Like perfect oil portraits done in china town or china in china

[00:59:33] You just like you what the fuck am I gonna go? I'm gonna go to china. No, you get it online

[00:59:37] They send it to you really you send them a picture or whatever and they're like really do like perfect

[00:59:42] Shout out. Okay. Oh, yeah, and then and then random taski murdered his cellmate. Whoa. He's hard dude

[00:59:50] That's crazy. That's because rapists don't get the respect they deserve on the inside. Yeah. Well, his cellmate was also a sex criminal

[00:59:57] Oh, what's random? Is he is he still in jail? Yeah, so this he he's he's called a woman Chinese or Korean

[01:00:02] He pulled of course he's Korean he pulled a woman into his car

[01:00:06] And then they raped her at gunpoint

[01:00:09] He said there were it's christmas. He's your lucky day

[01:00:12] Jesus christ and then they tied her pants around why is he a day is he clear?

[01:00:17] Huh? Yeah, they them

[01:00:20] There was another Korean with him

[01:00:22] Jesus there are two people

[01:00:24] Hmm, so that's almost one regular size penis

[01:00:28] Exactly five foot you got a 230 pounds. Say what?

[01:00:33] Same measurements as you five foot four. No 30 pounds. He's no I am taller and fatter. Thank you very much

[01:00:40] I am

[01:00:42] Much better just so you know if you work hard enough eventually you'll be able to have sex for the girl

[01:00:49] Just like joseon

[01:00:51] Are you saying I need to rape to wait his name's johnny son jose name's jomny son

[01:00:57] It's jomny son. He's dead. His name is completely different than the name. I just heard

[01:01:03] I know it's jomny son. I was doing a

[01:01:05] Amen. I got you. Uh, please. Let me suck your pussy for aliens

[01:01:13] You're a little d

[01:01:15] Okay, jomny. Let me tell you why you're here

[01:01:17] Christmas Eve 1990

[01:01:19] Women's walking home through a carport. I'm an alien

[01:01:23] Of course you are

[01:01:24] At some point

[01:01:26] DNA says it's you. I don't have DNA. I'm an alien. Yeah, that's not gonna hold up. Okay, you're fucked

[01:01:32] You're absolutely fucked here. We got you dead. They're right. I'm a writer. I just wanted them some pub see

[01:01:38] You can get a sign confession from you

[01:01:41] And you're gonna not do any of this fucking cutie

[01:01:43] The

[01:01:45] Spellcheck off bullshit. Have you seen the the right in clear terms? I raped this

[01:01:53] Woman and I rebate the

[01:01:59] I write for the show where the horse goes to therapy on Netflix

[01:02:04] Uh, that guy's twitter sucks my hardest of hard dicks. Yeah, he needs to get the wall

[01:02:08] What the fuck what is the appeal at all there? I don't get it

[01:02:13] Well, it's kind of gone from those misspellings to now like it's all self-help

[01:02:17] But even the misspellings like if you're just like I do you can do it

[01:02:20] Yeah, I've seen those and that's like whatever, but it's like why was he popular in the first place

[01:02:25] Uh, is he just like a very sanitized shitty weird twitter type of guy?

[01:02:30] I'm a mutual friend with him on facebook and they posted one of his tweets and I was like that guy fucking sucks

[01:02:35] Yeah, then he responded and he was like well, not forever. He like he said some like cutie response

[01:02:40] He wasn't even like fuck you. Yeah. Yeah, this is like limp dick like oh

[01:02:45] You know

[01:02:48] Then you could would you did you fucking no I didn't want to fuck this ass

[01:02:53] I fucked your ass Adam

[01:02:55] My rage out on your fucking

[01:02:57] Dun dun dun. Yeah, this is a fries

[01:03:02] And we sailed this

[01:03:05] Adam's ass

[01:03:07] Different places I live right here this little ass because

[01:03:11] International waters. It's not a crime rape is not illegal and that was our jobs only mistake

[01:03:18] Or that was rent that's only mistake was not raping at sea

[01:03:22] When you rape Adam at sea you fuck him in the ass

[01:03:28] um

[01:03:29] Well folks

[01:03:31] If you're listening, thank you for subscribing to our patreon, please come out and see me in uh,

[01:03:37] Pittsburgh on January 11th harris berg the night before that January 10th buffalo January 12th

[01:03:45] And skenectady on the 13th and then i'm coming to mother fucking phoenix on the 19th

[01:03:51] Uh

[01:03:52] LA february 2nd just added a second show

[01:03:55] So please buy tickets to that motherfucker

[01:03:58] And come see us on the fucking 14th funny moms the first one of 2019

[01:04:05] We love you is dc announced. Yeah. Oh, yeah, we should yeah, it's yeah march 30th

[01:04:10] We're going to be doing a live pod and stand up show

[01:04:14] Ndc at the black cat. We're coming back, baby. Come suck us and fuck us. That's going to be a really big show

[01:04:19] We really want to see you motherfucka saturday night saturday night. We in the spot. Don't believe me suck cock

[01:04:25] Whoo suck on my hands. I am gay. I'm gay. No, I'm gay

[01:04:30] No, but yeah, all three boys will be there doing stand up and a podcast two separate shows

[01:04:36] Come to both come to one. We don't whatever

[01:04:40] um

[01:04:41] We'd love to see you there. So

[01:04:43] Etc et cetera. We'll post the tickle link once as well. Yeah, we'll post the motherfucking ticket link

[01:04:47] Um, but yeah, please come see me on tour come see us nik weren't you in chicago?

[01:04:54] I don't know march some nik's at the link in lodge and march at some point. So go see him there

[01:05:01] Adam's gotta go get a 42 dollar haircut. It's probably more expensive than that is

[01:05:04] Adam's getting a really expensive haircut

[01:05:08] Dude, I that's why I say money cutting my hair. It's the shampoo station

[01:05:13] I just like saving money when I come those japanese they do a shampoo style that I you can't replicate anywhere else in the war

[01:05:20] They do it's just it's incredible

[01:05:23] The actual shampoo or the way they massage your skin and massage your scalp. I get like I get 70

[01:05:30] Every time you get doesn't matter if it's a guy or a girl

[01:05:35] It's just it's just pure. It's pure physical

[01:05:39] beautiful beautiful

[01:05:41] Yeah, whatever that sounds that sounds pretty horny to me. Yeah. Yeah, I'm it's sex work

[01:05:48] I love sex work

[01:05:50] I should pull I should I should so do you think I could sell feet pics to guys like big fat meaty feet

[01:05:56] You do have big feet I do yeah

[01:06:00] Some guy DM me and asked about my feet and asked me a bunch of questions and I was like I'll answer these for a hundred dollars

[01:06:06] Do you send you hundred bucks? I'm a hundred dollars

[01:06:08] Loser, I know some guy was like uh, can I have sex with you for it? I was like, uh, if you give me a hundred dollars

[01:06:15] So this starts

[01:06:18] No, I wouldn't I got his ass dude. I got his ass dude. Well, you got my ass

[01:06:22] I would not have fucked him. I would have said I would have answered questions about my feet for a hundred dollars

[01:06:27] Hey, man, maybe I'll beat off on cam and elutidormask for a nice amount. I don't know. What do I care?

[01:06:33] What are you guys doing for new years? I'm gonna Caroline's you're at carolines. Yeah, uh,

[01:06:39] That's uh, it's pretty. I mean, I'm excited for the shows, but

[01:06:43] It's I would like to go to a party. It's pretty gay two shows two shows

[01:06:47] And it's not even the kind of thing where you can get out of there because it's like fucking Times Square

[01:06:52] But they'll be fun shows

[01:06:54] Oh, we gotta go to uh

[01:06:56] The outer banks in january cool when oh, yeah, oh, we got a book that okay

[01:07:01] We got we got a very special podcast gas. We have a big guess

[01:07:04] I'm on the road a lot of I might be on the road every week

[01:07:09] I might be good. Just go by myself. No one on one. I mean that would be tight. We'll get crazy out in the compound

[01:07:17] I want some of those drugs. You're not allowed to come. Were you in five to me already?

[01:07:21] What do you mean? Can we go in the middle if we went in the middle of the week I could come we could we don't have jobs

[01:07:25] Let's do it. All right. Yeah, because I want to go to that later. All right. Bye everyone. Bye