Cum Town | Premium | 01/14/2019
[00:00:04] So I got a pop up up up up up up up up up up my dick
[00:00:09] Nick what's up with certain change brother certain change
[00:00:13] Where's all that change from a man? It's like six years worth of quarters
[00:00:24] Already doing it, you know and then Adam interrupted me because he had to come over and gossip
[00:00:30] I don't have to gossip. I did say that if I came over on stating Jeff Bezos
[00:00:37] Wait, that would be awesome. Honestly if I came over and I had stacks of chains
[00:00:41] Yeah, and I we are my coffee table already had this conversation
[00:00:44] We could do it on Mike now. You wouldn't have seven years worth of change
[00:00:50] I wouldn't have the stick tootiveness to keep all that change good coin store
[00:00:56] I've completely forgot that this was in my apartment
[00:00:58] All right, so just no way after the snow you don't have a mental tab of every fucking dime that's in your house and every
[00:01:05] So even try and start that fucking actually you're the Jew bullshit with me actually well
[00:01:11] You're this is kind of a Jew move because you would just take it to you using to pay the like percentage
[00:01:16] Yeah, I don't even where is coin starting more?
[00:01:19] I don't know my bank had one, but they got rid of it
[00:01:22] They got your bank sucks. They suck dig there the word there for it was great
[00:01:26] They had a thing the count change that are like because because of customers abusing the you know
[00:01:38] Putting their Cox in the cool master base and
[00:01:45] If you put your dick in a one-star would it say how much your dick is worth my dick is worth 31 cents if you
[00:01:51] would jack you into it would it would it would it fucking rate your cum and how expensive it is
[00:01:57] Yes, how much do you think one of your loads is worth Adam a load of mine a million dollars?
[00:02:02] No, you're not you're not a racehorse dude. My god
[00:02:05] Win racehorse. Mmm. You don't know how much my golden loads are I have to go service Saudi women
[00:02:11] Their husbands pay me just to blast inside
[00:02:16] No, they would never have you fucking impregnate their concubines
[00:02:21] 100% dude. What if what if podcasts it becomes like horse racing?
[00:02:24] Mm-hmm, and then our cum becomes like valuable. Yeah, we get like Nick has to fuck Terry gross
[00:02:32] No to make like a good podcast. It's so funny that the Jews kept that as the last name. What do you gross?
[00:02:38] Yeah, when they came to America, I think let's let's not change it. Let's keep gross the way it is well gross didn't mean
[00:02:52] Like that grows gross. I love how Nick's amping up to anti-Semitism because I made it clearly like
[00:02:58] Obvious observation about you counting coins for no no you're
[00:03:02] Defensive you're eating count coins for the last hour. It's and I always think it's I did that 20 minutes tops
[00:03:10] 20 minutes of counting coins. All right. Look me just go to a coin starts in a grocery store
[00:03:15] Yeah, I haven't seen a single coin star in
[00:03:22] Don't even you know the coin star percentage is it is it? I didn't even know coin star
[00:03:27] All right time to find out if it's seven. That's wild. That was a guess. No if it's seven. It wasn't a guy was a pure guess
[00:03:33] No, by the way, I don't have change because I use it for tipping at the coffee shop
[00:03:39] I never have any change because I give it back. It's actually it's actually 11.9% a little steam
[00:03:44] That's a lot say that's Steve that is a lot
[00:03:47] But you can convert it to Amazon bucks, right and they don't take the percentage
[00:03:51] I don't know you see you happen to know a lot about these coin star machines. I've never used one
[00:03:56] Yeah, you've researched them and realize they weren't a good investment. You just research research for fun
[00:04:02] Look don't try to go down this fucking paper. I'm gonna backfire. It's not gonna backfire Nick. You're just being defensive
[00:04:09] I'm literally not being defensive. I'm just annoyed because you've been counting you couldn't wait to like let's record
[00:04:14] So I can say the thing about the change. Oh shut up. Let's start recording so I can make my dumb point about the change
[00:04:19] Oh my god. I'm trying to get my fucking apartment clean
[00:04:22] I get the stupid bag of change sitting around. I don't know what to do with any man. Listen. It's making your lot
[00:04:27] You're talking into the office man. I know and I'm right
[00:04:31] I'm doing my I'm not only am I doing this task. I'm also
[00:04:36] Refuting every point Adam tries to bring up
[00:04:39] You're like a single mother dude. Yeah, you're doing your job and providing for your family
[00:04:44] Look dude. I just I have lost so much goddamn money in crypto
[00:04:47] And it's like not even my fault. I got fucked over
[00:04:52] You know getting stuck in currencies that I couldn't trade out of because of deceptive marketing on the Coinbase's website
[00:05:00] And then I chased losses trying to day trade which that is my fault
[00:05:07] If I had just been able to buy what I wanted initially you would be rich yes, I wouldn't be rich, but I'd be a
[00:05:14] I'm a nice amount of money. Yeah, what the fuck dude. I should fucking invest dude
[00:05:20] No, I do. I'm gonna buy a lot of encrypto. No, no, I'm gonna buy like a fucking lemonade stander
[00:05:26] How much is a new stand cost? Maybe I'll be that one of those investing those you're gonna invest in a new
[00:05:34] I'm in common and snapples and that kind of shit
[00:05:40] No one wants a snapples. I don't go to the store for a snap holes. That's true. It's ever a first off
[00:05:45] I used to love snap. I do too. Did that peach snapples? I used to get a six pack
[00:05:50] Some dough and the mango madness or whatever was called was very good to keep what was the key we flavored
[00:05:59] Strawberry Kiwi yes, yeah, yeah, I remember that one that was good too
[00:06:03] That was a good one and then for some reason snapples became poor it became bad
[00:06:08] Yeah, I used to think of that as a good drink
[00:06:16] I feel like snap will used to be fancy when I was a kid and then it became like a trap
[00:06:21] You just realized your you were poor. Maybe that's what happened to me. I thought I did not realize that was poor until I had to fill out
[00:06:28] FAFSA if I told the story before yeah, I remember I remember thinking snapple was healthy right to oh, yeah
[00:06:34] So I see it's how dude just every kid I was like dude this fruit. I'm eating orange juice
[00:06:40] Just like worse than soda good for me. Yeah. Well, I don't know. It's just as bad. Yeah. Yeah and concentrate dude
[00:06:48] That's your make you that's what we got more that was awesome
[00:06:51] We had mad concentrate in the freezer if my dad was like I'm sick and tired of by all this OJ
[00:06:56] We got to get the frozen shit. I love that shit dude. Yeah, it was good
[00:06:59] It felt like I was doing a magic mixing it up in a fucking jug. Yeah, it did feel good
[00:07:04] It felt fancy. Oh, you know what I used to like five alive. You remember that shit. No, it's juice concentrate
[00:07:09] It's like a frozen. Yeah. Oh, I did not know I don't know that I don't know the
[00:07:14] Like I just remember those little fucking fucked up cylinders the food like crescent rolled tubes. Yeah, yeah
[00:07:21] Yeah, like cardboard with like aluminum on the end dude. I felt really I for some reason that felt rich to me
[00:07:27] I got felt like doing magic. Uh-huh like you fucking poor assholes. I'm making some fresh, but it's not fresh at all
[00:07:33] Orange. Oh, oh folks don't worry Nick has a fresh. I think has a fresh piggy bank. He's empty. There's a lot of change
[00:07:42] Already sitting right here probably like what is that?
[00:07:46] $150 worth of change. Yeah, that's a lot. Yeah, each rule is what 2010 10 1 2 yeah roll of quarters
[00:07:52] Yes, that's a lot of money. It is you should take it to the casino
[00:07:56] I mean, this is like I've been building up since I was in Chinatown. Mmm your empire. Yeah. Yeah, that's right
[00:08:02] I'm gonna go back and buy those Chinese people
[00:08:05] Just that that family taking rent money for me and me and there in my eyes of them knowing one day I would purchase some
[00:08:17] One day I will purchase your son is a slave
[00:08:23] You got to smash that piggy bank tell the story about the about the
[00:08:28] What what is it the the black lady who grifted all these
[00:08:35] MAGA people oh yeah, but that was on Twitter for a while some oh yeah, they did that like they did that like
[00:08:41] Like black people leaving the Democratic Party thing some girl like posted herself in a MAGA hat was like
[00:08:54] I just I just you know it was a big Twitter. This is Adam's story time minute
[00:09:10] I guess shut up hilarious joke is something he saw on Twitter. I wasn't I didn't want to
[00:09:26] Jingleing your change man. Uh-huh damn that was another thing the move of breaking it every in every movie every time I keep
[00:09:33] Break your piggy they would take a hammer the piggy. Yeah, that's what I want a bunch of fucking ceramic shards all over exactly
[00:09:44] For a couple hours once oh badass dude, where'd you go?
[00:09:48] Dude, you're so sensitive because I made this coin observation
[00:09:51] Why do you think I'm just like I always said person I know all I said was badass. You know, it's like
[00:09:56] My friend who is the older man? I'll let you hang out of them for a couple hours. He was a very nice man
[00:10:08] He said I had to take a couple pictures
[00:10:11] Just a child model. He's like what yeah, like picture like you're going to the pool, you know, yeah, you're sure it off
[00:10:18] Yeah, you're so how we're gonna remember the day you spilled the paint
[00:10:22] One of my favorite videos unbelievable just what a brilliant performance by that old man
[00:10:29] Yeah, imagine you played it like a real pet of old man actor like I don't know what the fuck that guy's been in and now
[00:10:35] It's like Diane. We're gonna be able to take that cruise to the Bahamas. I just picked up a
[00:10:41] PSA video to buy out, but it's pretty good
[00:10:45] That's great Richard. Yes, my agent just mailed me my sides here. Let's see
[00:10:55] I guess this is my character is raping a ten year old boy
[00:11:01] Yes, my character will be a child rapist hopefully they'll show it at our grandchildren schools
[00:11:08] Hopefully Mikey you'll tell his key can tell his class. That's my grandpa
[00:11:21] Yeah, yeah, I planned it. I had my shit in a bindle and everything
[00:11:27] I had a little a little pillowcase full of my shit really, but I never even left
[00:11:32] Yeah, I literally went down and had a snack and then it was all it was all I went to the park good
[00:11:36] Oh, you went to the park. I just sat there. Do you have any swing? Did you have any stuff? I had to a backpack nice
[00:11:43] Did a couple swings? I got a little cold and I was hungry
[00:11:47] Where they like where'd you go or were you allowed to just leave? I don't even think they noticed. Yeah
[00:11:53] Yeah, you're too busy counting coins. Yeah
[00:11:56] When I was a seven. That's why they're such a trigger. I went to Syria for about six months
[00:12:00] Syria, huh? Yeah, now I went to the Amazon for a couple months. So it was
[00:12:07] You learned how to make your own blow darts? Yeah, I had a poison tree frogs
[00:12:12] You rub your dick on the poison tree and you fuck one of the natives
[00:12:18] I think about those natives is they die if you put poison in their pussies a lot of people don't realize that
[00:12:24] Now your cock though is immune for some reason for some reason
[00:12:30] The other thing people don't realize is for some reason my cock is immune
[00:12:42] Yeah, I could never made it on my own. I was too. I was too cute and fat
[00:12:50] Yeah, you know just to go down to skid row say I'm one of you people now
[00:12:56] Is that where you went skid row Adam? I would have I was a big Sebastian Bach fan
[00:13:05] 18 inches in my ass 18 inches in my mouth
[00:13:09] Yeah, I love that song that song was about
[00:13:28] Sebastian Bach and this is we're skid row and it's wrong to be gay everybody
[00:13:34] Just remember each of vegetables and strong to be gay
[00:13:42] Shit, oh no Nick dropped some of his coins
[00:13:53] Yeah chores are fucking rich just get a Jeffery from Fresh Prince about a butler
[00:14:01] Yeah, but Jeffries a British black man like how much were they paying Jeffrey? Yeah?
[00:14:07] He was a living he was living he had always was suits
[00:14:10] Did Jeffrey ever do anything wasn't there one episode where he brought a bitch over and she and he lied and said it was his house
[00:14:16] Master will I'm worried that Carlton is gay
[00:14:23] That's really weird that's like how they signified the black family had made it in America by having their own slave and he was British
[00:14:33] Damn. Yeah, why did they let him call the master? Do they even do that in England? Yeah?
[00:14:38] Yeah, that's how Butler talks. Yeah, but the master's like that's what they call children
[00:14:46] Wait, do they still have butlers? No, right? Yeah
[00:14:49] Yeah, I like so barisocracy here. There's butlers. Yeah people have a guy that I guarantee you now half the people pursuing comedy in New York
[00:15:01] You're probably right. That's fucking crazy. Yeah. Yeah, I mean my family had help
[00:15:11] Yeah, we had we had our with one family friend
[00:15:17] So yeah, I had a friend. I'd rather like a mom
[00:15:21] Growing up who had I'm pretty sure it was a slave
[00:15:24] This is Columbia woman that lived in their basement
[00:15:29] But hey, she was a bitch to me. So yeah, fuck that. Yeah. Yeah, good. Yeah, she probably wasn't jealous of the basic freedoms you enjoyed
[00:15:40] Dude that's a way to get out of being a if you were a slave if you if she
[00:15:46] Mollested you then you would have told your parents they would have called the police and
[00:15:52] Then she's gonna go into jail instead of living in her domestic
[00:15:57] Interesting good point, but then there's a but then it's a paper trail shit. I guarantee you there's like oh, yeah, Saudi stuff
[00:16:07] A V and calling themselves brown people in school. Yeah
[00:16:19] I went to college with a bunch of like oil kids
[00:16:23] Like they went to GW and they just go to the club every fucking weekend
[00:16:27] I remember one of them was like, yeah, it's Ramadan. So I can't like I can't drink Krista out
[00:16:34] Well, you can drink after after dark. You can't drink alcohol at all right
[00:16:40] But his rule was that he couldn't that he wouldn't be drinking alcohol for the month
[00:16:45] I still think brown kids do is there upset they think like they're like the club or whatever like they like to have fun
[00:16:52] You know like damn man, it's like the lights are off, but some of them are red
[00:16:58] We're going to the hookah bar. Oh, yeah, I went to the club
[00:17:01] I used to love the hookah bar though. I was like 16 international kids. I thought it was stupid even when I was 16
[00:17:09] Like this is like this is like no you're smoking shit. You're drinking underage. Yeah, but we do that at parties
[00:17:15] Yeah, but there's something about being in an establishment. No, I thought it was cool. It was cool, dude
[00:17:20] I went to the club with those like club international kids club
[00:17:25] College a couple times wettest fucking one one time the gayest club
[00:17:29] What's his name? Greg Odin was there Adam free Lynn Knight at Club gay
[00:17:37] Adam drinks piss free all night. It's free. You got a piss. How could I not?
[00:17:52] No way, that's where you were working. That's how you put yourself through school
[00:17:55] Drinking piss at Club gay from the Saudi kid the Korean kids smoking six outside the library. Oh, yeah
[00:18:06] What we saying Adam? Yeah, Greg Odin that NBA player got injured 50 times Japan money to have a lot of Japan money to
[00:18:13] Coinbase society stupid these ones were that's Australian. Yeah, the sign money
[00:18:19] Yeah, fuck Australia because the fucking 50 cent coin is bigger than the dollar and the two dollar one is smaller than Adam's dick
[00:18:28] Which is very small. Mm-hmm. So fuck. Are we wanting to make it smaller than Adam's dick?
[00:18:37] Yeah, and then the country went broke actually that's what destroyed the economy is we made a coin smaller
[00:18:44] We lost all our candy we lost all the money
[00:18:47] Because we needed a precision manufacturing
[00:18:51] God and computers to make a even to make the money zero zero one micro micrometer
[00:19:00] Karma each smaller than a millimeter. It's a million tiny
[00:19:06] A million it's a million it's basically the size of the tip of a lightning strike
[00:19:14] I'm actually no, I'm a scientist. I'm actually an Australian so I'm actually a
[00:19:21] Comedy not doing this no beat here and rule. I'm actually the president of money in Australia
[00:19:25] And I was personally fired for pitching the idea they killed my family
[00:19:33] Heaps murdered my family and I'm not allowed to have sex anymore legally. They took that that's punishment in Australia
[00:19:39] Because I came up with the Adam penis coin
[00:19:41] Which was so small that it polluted the air
[00:19:47] It was held in their hands and then we tried to we tried to put them into circulation
[00:19:52] But the coins went airborne because they experience negative gravity
[00:20:02] The earth there would be that they're so small and lightweight that they repel they have the experience
[00:20:12] And and what they it's because they're small by the way
[00:20:18] Yep, and these are actually but what's interesting is a main out of metal so they're actually heavier than Adam's dick
[00:20:25] They occupy the same amount of physical space
[00:20:27] So as you can imagine Adam's dick is beyond the laws of physics
[00:20:36] Damn is that true Adam with that scientist that came in here and just left said it's it's it's yeah
[00:20:44] I'm so glad we have that phone that goes to Australia
[00:20:49] Thank you for your time. Thank you for your time. All right, no problem at all
[00:20:52] I'm just I'm gonna add here trying to I'm burying my son too many of the Adam penis points in fact in his brain
[00:21:04] Sorry to hear that sir. Yeah, it's basically
[00:21:07] Yeah, it's like inhaling a you know a fun particulate a fun miss do you hold do you hold any ill will towards Adam? Absolutely
[00:21:22] Suggested it would save a lot of money. Why would they show this PowerPoint and said I have the smallest dick in the entire world
[00:21:30] So if you made a coin the same size of it you'd save money on manufacturing
[00:21:36] What we didn't realize it was so small that the again the precision instruments
[00:21:41] Just to make them I would assume cost so much money. Well, we're really sorry about that sir and good luck with everything
[00:21:48] That's all right. Maybe you should a good afternoon. My name is good good night
[00:21:58] No, is it yes double check your license and make sure what your name is
[00:22:18] Sometimes my name is so rasa's it becomes even more racist to me when I say
[00:22:23] I am the president of money in Africa. Oh
[00:22:33] Because if it does not work for Australia maybe it will work for Africa
[00:22:38] Okay, well, yeah, good luck. I heard you guys over and I'm gonna having you a tourism slogan
[00:22:44] Hey Africa come visit Africa Africa Africa
[00:22:59] Sexer a land of many opportunities, but they're not have guessers. Oh, yeah
[00:23:10] Yeah, we should we should be on the tourism board dude
[00:23:33] So pretty fucked up of what you did to Australia Adam. I didn't do anything, but I
[00:23:38] Guess they'll forgive you and they'll let you back in the country
[00:23:43] Visit Africa is very well received in Australia
[00:23:48] I want yeah next time we go to a foreign country
[00:23:51] I want fans to be at the fucking tarmac dude dude the Australian fans
[00:23:57] Like cosplayed our shows no there were stops there. They were nicks there. Yeah, that's it
[00:24:07] This is an outright lie. You're absolutely wrong. This is I mean what he means is they were wearing their right
[00:24:16] Guy who were not true whatsoever. There are
[00:24:20] Fucking wrong only there were mad tracks you guys that would must ashes. Yeah, and they were like small earring guys
[00:24:27] That would come up to me relax relax and they'd be like Adam. Okay, listen listen
[00:24:32] My friends cool me my friends call me a figgett too, and I just want I just want to let you know you inspire me
[00:24:39] Small earring thing is not because that I
[00:24:43] The guys that think that they weren't gay because of me, but they were gay also
[00:24:52] There are though and listen Melbourne in particular there were a lot of fucking tracks you guys listen Hawaiian shirt guy salute
[00:24:58] You want it you want to take our sartorial tips you do that. Yeah, maybe I should just become a fashion blogger
[00:25:11] Almost done here fellas near the end of the road
[00:25:18] Look see this a fucking red dead redemption all right I got back into it. You should be thanking me that I'm not playing
[00:25:24] Mmm, especially considering how mad I am about crypto
[00:25:30] I hope this continues for the rest of my life where people give us more more money, and I immediately
[00:25:36] Gambling all the way and then take it out on the audience
[00:25:45] I lost all the fucking money to Chinese businessmen again time for you
[00:25:49] pieces of shit to listen to me count change because you should have stopped me
[00:25:57] It's your fault for not protecting me from myself, that's right
[00:26:01] But please do not protect Nick for himself do not protect me from myself do not do it
[00:26:05] It is very funny the way my life is being destroyed I
[00:26:09] Got here by being a fucking indulgent pig and it wouldn't be funny if I got my shit together
[00:26:15] It would never be funny that I felt good that is true
[00:26:24] Now you it would be funny, but whatever I don't give a fuck
[00:26:28] I would prefer if you felt good, but listen man if you don't want to who am I the cops?
[00:26:33] Yeah, I'm just your fat friend here. Oh sure. We just want to make sure you feel good
[00:26:38] You know that thing the cops are famous for
[00:26:41] Checking in on people's emotions. Just a little it lets you know we're here for you
[00:26:51] It's so funny how much of like how and this is like such a trite point
[00:26:56] But like to what extent the police is a concept. They're just blatant false advertising. Oh, yeah
[00:27:01] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah and serving you never have I've been like I've never been served when a real cop comes by when something bad happens
[00:27:10] Never like actually one time a guy broke into my car in Baltimore and the guy did like a full fucking investigation
[00:27:17] Knocked on doors like did you see he was really nice? Yeah?
[00:27:20] Yeah, that was and the only time and that was the time where I was like even I was like come on man
[00:27:26] You're not gonna fucking catch this guy. He broke into my car
[00:27:28] He's gone when I got like he did his due diligence was very nice
[00:27:31] One time and then another time a cop one of the downtown one of the like I mean
[00:27:38] I used to think the cops were like pretty racist and shit
[00:27:40] But then I saw this video of this like sergeant getting out of his car and then doing the nay-nay with
[00:27:45] That proves it man. It's just a crisis is a fucking lie the floss
[00:27:54] That's something I know only people in the black community know about only only black community members know to call young black children
[00:28:02] Little man, so if that white sergeant said it then it must mean that you know Darren Wilson is a myth absolutely
[00:28:11] It's a lie propagated by the media in fact
[00:28:15] One time in ball there was a just remember I don't know if you would even be aware of this guy
[00:28:20] But an inner harbor. I think he was a bike cop that like yeah got me. Yeah. I remember that video
[00:28:26] Well, what do you do exactly he's like hassling some like skateboarder. Yeah. Yeah, you see a black skateboarder
[00:28:32] I don't think so. I think it was a white kid. Well. Oh, either way that guy who like yeah
[00:28:36] He you're right. He like broke the skateboard. He like hit the kid or some shit
[00:28:39] Anyway that guy because before it was videos of cops shooting black people because black people didn't have cameras
[00:28:46] It was like you go back 15 years the only people that had cameras were like people thought they were gonna be Tony Hawk
[00:28:52] So it's all white kids ever like fuck the cops hassling us
[00:28:55] It's like no you're destroying that Indian family's flowerbed
[00:29:04] You're literally breaking the law. Yeah skateboarding is not a crime
[00:29:07] Yeah, but so that guy was you know, I guess he learned his lesson and
[00:29:13] There's no video proof of him being racist, but
[00:29:20] And they arrested all his black friends and he just took my brother home
[00:29:26] It was like for what that same cop. Yeah, they were just oh Jesus Christ and George kept trying to be like it was
[00:29:32] I should have said his name. Whatever. I mean, he's fine
[00:29:35] My brother was just like not dude. It was me. It was all me because he knew you would get away with it
[00:29:40] Yeah, and they were just like he like insisted on like on like fucking
[00:29:50] I guess salute to racism and that one specific salute to races and that one specific incident never again
[00:29:58] They asked me if I wanted to go to Coney Island to look at pictures of black people
[00:30:04] Finders full of random black guys. Yeah, which means they just have an assortment of pictures of of schizophrenic people
[00:30:12] I think they're deserve that punch. Yeah me too
[00:30:15] Shut up. You're probably laughing at him and taking a video. I was walking you're like look at this retarded black
[00:30:23] Let's all laugh at him. He was potentially retarded
[00:30:28] It's that boy who laughs at everyone. Let's laugh at him. That's what happened to you
[00:30:33] Is Nelson being paraded around by that very tall man?
[00:30:37] And when it happened hey everybody it's that boy who laughs at every that's you being punched
[00:30:43] No, that's not true and and when it happened Nick wanted to
[00:30:48] Come immediately and he said that no one no one hits his wife. So no one hits his girl
[00:30:56] Somebody fucking like punched you in the face and I was standing right next to you. I wouldn't just be like oh wow
[00:31:01] Yeah, you got a punch that guy. Yeah, yes, I would not he was on the other side of a railing
[00:31:08] You repel down honestly, it just felt like I hit my head on something really hard because I like didn't see
[00:31:14] That's what happened Adam slipped and hit his head. He made up this story
[00:31:24] Pass by a bank and they had a poster pictures of giant coins on it and he smashed it
[00:31:34] That's like why you late you were supposed to pick me up a half hour girl. He's like
[00:31:51] Yeah, I can't wait to do that further. I can't wait listen. I'm gonna get jacked and I'm gonna become a
[00:31:56] Adam's getting married. Oh, yeah, I'm getting married. I can't wait for the wedding man. The whole subreddit's invited
[00:32:04] They're gonna show up, you know, I'm not gonna tell them where it is. Oh, you they're doing it in Vegas
[00:32:10] And you know what you should do is you should do it at the Mandalay
[00:32:18] I'll check in the room 37. Yeah, that's the way we get that's what we do to the subreddit
[00:32:42] Maybe I'll die that guy was I want a fucking gun turret dude
[00:32:46] Just a mo anyone who has ever said anything negative about me or my boys. You're getting a fucking lip full of lead pal
[00:32:57] So yeah, that's that's where the that's where it'll be guys
[00:33:01] So we can't wait to see you all there. I'm sure where your finest tuxedo. Yeah, I'm sure you guys are gonna get out of the house and
[00:33:12] Yeah, dude, I can't wait I'm gonna dress like Joe Pesci and casino
[00:33:20] With the foot and I'm gonna get like a fucking yeah, we're gonna do a casino theme
[00:33:28] Just gonna pay Josh is gonna call her pimp crying like right after the ceremony James Woods
[00:33:36] Don't worry. Just you gotta just see this out. Okay. He's gonna protect you
[00:33:42] Don't worry. You can you write a check?
[00:33:46] I would love that if we just had her former Korean
[00:33:54] Yeah, this is all a giant long con from the owner of an illegal David semi prostitution karaoke bar
[00:34:09] It was the job you have to sing for Armenian and Korean and Chinese men I do they have a gay version of that
[00:34:15] I'll do that gay hosting they did in in Tokyo that host clubs
[00:34:19] But it was all Korean dudes with a hella plastic surgery right right. Yeah, I mean they need a plus-size
[00:34:25] They didn't have that well. We got to start it and I gotta make a fortune
[00:34:29] They had host this thing too like in the like next to this brothe was that
[00:34:34] Host clubs karaoke host clubs and jack-off part. I'll say man. I'm this Japan now
[00:34:41] That's really frustrating. No, but I told me before you were miserable that entire trip before we went
[00:34:46] I said like this is one of those things raw. Hey to wall there, but you give me a couple weeks
[00:34:50] That's basically everything you do it like I'm sure but I also said that I would do this yeah, and I
[00:34:57] Do not miss it. Yeah, I had fun and you had a bad time. Yes
[00:35:03] You couldn't find the prostitute it's perfectly well-adjusted response to having a bad time being sick
[00:35:09] No, they need to use the thing they need to make the prostitution a little more straightforward
[00:35:15] And I would have had a fine time. Yeah, you know, I feel like they were spent and they didn't want white guys in those
[00:35:22] prostitution part of the thing is like Japanese like you know, I'm always like
[00:35:29] But you get some distance from it. You get that's like a constant. So you can't remember that part right
[00:35:34] Just remember the shit you did right right right, you know, this there's a couple good meals. There's a couple good meals
[00:35:40] Yeah, it was fun, dude. I would have rather been on a beach. I
[00:35:45] Want to be on a beach, dude. I'm a damn beach
[00:35:49] We're doing Istanbul in Rome in the world tour
[00:35:53] Fuck Turkey. I'm not going to Turkey. You don't see you don't see Istanbul. No, I would love to see which that guy's name
[00:36:02] See the bad one are the good ones bad and the word and the word and word of wands
[00:36:16] Actually pronounced Ennis, but whatever
[00:36:20] I heard three like four like three or four grown men playing the penis game on the subway like six months ago. I was like
[00:36:28] So loot can we like to deputize you as members of the come to this podcast is
[00:36:36] Let me suck your penis playing the the n-word game with no repercussions
[00:36:43] Penny should just go in the fucking garbage. I throw them away. I literally do
[00:36:49] I don't give a fuck. Yeah, doesn't it cost more money than they're worth or something?
[00:36:52] It used to when they were made out of bronze, but now they're now there's some weird alloy
[00:37:07] Suck my penis, please. Oh baby suck my fucking penis. I'm fucking gay as hell
[00:37:13] I'm fucking gay everybody. I'm gay everybody
[00:37:21] Like gay friends coming up after straight. Oh, yeah
[00:37:29] Shouts at the Frazier the gay prince of biller the gay Prince biller
[00:37:34] My main Kelsey did get pussy though. Also his name. Yeah, no one his name is Kelsey. Yeah, she was from the real housewives
[00:37:42] She was like a Playboy model or some shit. Yeah, she was real smart. She was a hot piece of ace
[00:37:47] Yeah, she had some hard fake titties. I love them boulders. Let me
[00:37:58] It looks like a created penny you had to bring in your coin guy. Yeah like an episode of is it though?
[00:38:10] Look at a dime why don't you figure that out?
[00:38:12] Well, this is a big smile. I've ever seen on Adam's face. Honestly. Can I tell you what happened the outer layer corroded?
[00:38:18] It's the inside of the penny. Let me see
[00:38:21] That's my bet. It's got a little bit thinner. It's got ridges
[00:38:29] They don't and this says ridges doesn't let me see I want to see oh it does. Let me see the fucking damn
[00:38:38] I can't wait to have my son and I can make him do dumb shit like this
[00:38:41] Like can I please just go to the movies of my friends?
[00:38:51] Do you want to work the pedals the first time I ever drove on the road
[00:38:55] I had my learner's permit and I had never even been close to it and my dad was just
[00:38:59] Black out drunk and he was like Tom the we were fucking Jimmy seafood. I was not prepared at all
[00:39:06] He's like well you've been asking you get on the road
[00:39:11] And there's like this sharp ass curve that I fucked up and like when the opposing traffic it was pretty chill
[00:39:19] And I did I was like 13 my dad's like time to drive and you're drunk and
[00:39:24] I drove for about half a block into some bushes and he was like what the fuck are you?
[00:39:29] And I wasn't allowed to drive for another 25 years. We were 13 dude. Yeah, I know I didn't understand that
[00:39:36] You didn't have to press the gas for the car to go forward
[00:39:41] Because you think that's not intuitive. Yeah, you think it's a video game
[00:39:46] Yeah, so then it like started rolling forward and I got really scared so that I pressed the gas hard
[00:39:50] Oh, you press the gas. I was like I got I got nervous. It is more intuitive than you'd think though
[00:39:56] I've just dropped his microphone. I saw it. Yeah, I dropped things
[00:40:08] Oh, baby, I have a little penis, please don't tell anyone about this
[00:40:20] Real small deck and he's like no chance
[00:40:22] He's a big people not to tell me I feel like we've talked about this before
[00:40:31] Because he's got he's seven four and three hundred and four hundred
[00:40:37] In comparison to his body if you took Jack's cock off
[00:40:41] It if I would basically I would stab both of you for shacks cock sight unseen if my cock was a size of shacks cock
[00:40:48] I would murder two very good friends of mine as long as I get away with it. That's how
[00:40:53] Conferniam and his dick being big on a frame such as mine. Mm-hmm. It's like when LeBron's
[00:41:01] I want to use my cock. I want to use my big cock
[00:41:04] I mean I have to spend the rest of my life in fucking jail with that big dick. No, thanks
[00:41:08] What do you mean you'd be the cock of the walkover?
[00:41:10] No, I don't want I don't want to fuck men with you know jail men
[00:41:13] Jail if I'm gonna fuck men they're gonna be hot outside men and women
[00:41:19] That's what happened to all prison rapists. They're like well. I made this deal with fuck kill my
[00:41:44] Yeah, that would be awful dude, but yeah
[00:41:47] Although I mean I it would make sense to me because he has fucked some very small women
[00:41:51] Johnny O'Neill Shawn. He's not that big. Yeah
[00:41:56] Also, he he was with hoops for a while. He has remember hoops from flavor of love
[00:42:01] She was a blah blah blah blah bad bad bad bad bitch boy
[00:42:05] Have I beat off the hoops quite a fair amount. What was that show where he shacks a police officer? I?
[00:42:11] Think he just was deputized. I know he's a sheriff. He's a sheriff in Florida
[00:42:17] I think it's dad. I think his dad's a sheriff or some shit his dad is a cop. Yeah, and I have remember
[00:42:23] I remember because I had a bit about it and I remember liking the bit, but I can't remember the fuck it was I
[00:42:27] Remember that bit, but I remember there was a Steven Seagal cop show
[00:42:31] Yeah, he was a he got to be a real cop person
[00:42:34] You know you know Shaq like has so many different businesses and he also won't endorse a
[00:42:40] Serial product unless he actually literally uses it. Yeah, what a man principle
[00:42:46] Which was so weird like he said they offered him a Wheaties box
[00:42:49] I remember that because the Escalade came out and he had that Superman Escalade
[00:42:52] Yeah, and he was like the spoke not the spokesperson of Escalade
[00:42:56] But like it was like this is Shaq's car or maybe it was a different Cadillac commercial
[00:43:00] But he's like he's like all this legroom perfect for me, and it's like yeah, you're a monstrosity
[00:43:11] It would be as honestly it would be like if you had a commercial for like you know like for the everyday man who needs size
[00:43:20] It's like man, how'd you get the shoe? I mean what if I grow into it? Yeah
[00:43:24] You know what if I have kids someday, and I need all that extra shoes
[00:43:29] Put their feet on top my feet will all take the shoe down to the mall and buy whatever else Shaq is having
[00:43:35] Well, he wouldn't do Wheaties, and he did like some sweet cereal. He didn't think it's he didn't like eating Wheaties
[00:43:41] And he did like fucker he did fruity pebbles instead of Wheaties because he loves pretty
[00:43:45] I think says I mean it's like Wheaties is just fucking candy anyways is it Wheaties isn't where you ran
[00:43:50] I've no I don't know if I've ever had it's like frosted flakes. I like Wheaties
[00:43:55] But they're not they're better for you than fucking frosted flakes
[00:43:59] I would guess I think it might just be marketing really that they make it into the
[00:44:03] Because when I was when I was in middle school and I had the same to the same degree
[00:44:06] They'd like Gatorade isn't like Gatorade's just sugar water well
[00:44:09] I was in middle school, and I thought I was gonna fucking you know grow like 10 inches and play basketball
[00:44:16] Professionally you know at when I was the power forward for the Roland Park
[00:44:21] Middle school Rams. Thank you very much had a very big game one one game had 18 points
[00:44:27] No big deal off the bench. That isn't a big deal. It is actually no
[00:44:31] It actually is a big deal big deal the scores like 50 to
[00:44:36] The rich are 10 feet regulation regulation everyone all the starters
[00:44:40] We're having a bad game all the stars are having a bad game
[00:44:44] So I've just put me in everyone's they put me in as a spark
[00:44:48] You know spark off the bench Nate Robinson basically la sparks the women's best
[00:44:53] That's a you know what that's a big honor actually you fucking misogynist knows pretty hot Candice Parker Wow again
[00:45:00] Doubling down your fucking massage the Adams canceled first of all saying it's an insult to be professional
[00:45:05] We can't cancel me about canceled myself so many times whatever man the point is and I remember what I was saying
[00:45:11] But back in those days I was eating Wheaties because I thought they were good for me first they made you good at sports
[00:45:16] Mm-hmm. I did I did yeah, I bought it. I bought it hook line and sinker
[00:45:21] Poor fucking poor middle school me not realizing I wouldn't even grow an inch that day forward
[00:45:26] You're a big middle school. Yeah, but honestly it looks like the Wheaties worked. Yeah
[00:45:35] Yeah, it was a hundred and two pounds before I started eating Wheaties and they helped me back on the way
[00:45:47] We're getting this like the cereal for e-sports athletes. Yes, that's my favorite thing in the world calling themselves athletes awesome
[00:45:56] Which I'm not even sure I love that they all yeah, they wear like dude the bike that it's like
[00:46:02] Yeah, and it's not even the sports games
[00:46:13] You're blowing each other up with aliens. It's a sport of collecting Pokemon
[00:46:20] Damn that's the biggest shit in the world though people watching that shit more than anything what Pokemon no just like
[00:46:27] League of Legends and shit like that. Yeah people love that shit, dude. Yeah
[00:46:38] The damn boys said the perfect perfect fucktality my dick is small
[00:46:47] There was one guy from like team something I forget the name
[00:46:51] But he was dating this fine ass Mexican girl who I only found out because there was this viral video of like
[00:46:57] Mexican weather girl has the perfect. Yes. I know the story
[00:47:01] Yes, she was dating an e-sports guy and he dumped her so we could have more time to game
[00:47:05] Yeah, she wanted to spend more time with him. Hey, my man was about his bag
[00:47:09] She wanted to cut into his fucking tournament time. I don't know dude that girl was so fucking hot
[00:47:15] She was she was insanely hot. Yeah, she was crazy. Yeah fuck that guy
[00:47:20] Yeah, of course fucking I would wear romantics. We choose love over money any day every day of the week
[00:47:28] I wonder if I'll feel love you know, do you think it would be fun to go to Dubai? No, it's not fun there
[00:47:35] I mean, it would be fun, but it'd be scary. What do you mean scary? Wouldn't be scary?
[00:47:39] What the fuck is this shit? Do you buy would be awesome? We should be fun because it's cool. I mean it's just
[00:47:47] Yeah, no Tokyo has amazing. I would be by by Lamborghinis and Ferrari's
[00:47:52] I would be cool. I would feel uneasy. Where is it geographically in the UA in the Gulf?
[00:47:59] I don't know area those guys the right side of the radio. Well, they if they know the roof fucking American influencers, dude
[00:48:06] They love that they're all about that paper over there. I just don't think it would be fun
[00:48:11] Yeah, I think like the shit that they're into there is not tight for having sex with young boys. No like
[00:48:20] Land lambos, I guess you I guess you can rent exotic cars and driving in the I guess that's what that's not cool
[00:48:27] Do you drive in a Lambo in the fucking desert? No drugs or alcohol
[00:48:35] That's gay, yeah like malls like is there pushing to buy there's no pushing to be done
[00:48:40] I feel like it's all like fucking stupid high-end malls. Is there head to be gotten into buy?
[00:48:48] You can get but rich to them is like next level. Yeah, it's not any it's not some podcast right now
[00:48:58] Also, it's not like Tokyo because Tokyo has been there forever and there's like a unique culture do you buy like a fake city?
[00:49:04] Did none of what do you mean? We did know we walked around went to like four restaurants
[00:49:09] And then it was like that's you did you'd I didn't weigh more than that you planned a secret around special trip for yourself
[00:49:18] Train to four hours a different part of Japan
[00:49:20] I told you guys for literally made us go to Japan with I told you four months you made a special
[00:49:27] I was gonna leave for the whole idea whole idea was it was gonna be close to fucking Australia
[00:49:33] It was a fucking ten hour flight from Australia to fuck. Yeah, the fight was fine all Adams full
[00:49:39] She was gay dude. You just we're just saying you liked it
[00:49:42] I would have liked anywhere anywhere. We fucking would have gone in six months time
[00:49:46] I've been like that was tight. Yeah, even I got raped by an elephant in like the jungle. I
[00:49:50] Mean like didn't hurt that bad. That would be a funny story. Yeah, it was hilarious
[00:49:54] Yeah, cuz yeah, that would be really funny actually if you got raped by an elephant
[00:49:58] Yeah, that would be good. Sorry. I would like to get my dick sucked by an elephant's trunk
[00:50:03] That would be awesome actually no that's too wide a little peanut dick
[00:50:07] Yeah, man, cuz he thinks you can eat the peanut
[00:50:17] Just throwing your body around trying to get your cock off
[00:50:23] We've said this plenty of times on the show, but the way they beat off is hilarious
[00:50:27] This just slam their dicks on their stomachs well, what's that god?
[00:50:30] They have her it's an elephant's head, but a baby's body
[00:50:33] But gear some Indian you have you're the one you have an elephant's body and a baby's penis
[00:50:51] So come on dick and fuck a mess because I'm gay
[00:50:57] Fuck at them. Why what flavor of jewel you pumping mint mints that the good shit?
[00:51:05] I think so a bit apparently I think they're getting rid of all the flavors. Yeah, cuz teenage smoking's out of control kids are
[00:51:13] Tia's jouling is out of control. That's smoking
[00:51:16] No, it's not it's smoking. It's just doing jewel. Yeah, dude
[00:51:21] It's they're all doing it at school and stuff which is sick. That is cool. They should keep doing it
[00:51:27] Adam how much would you pay to meet the singer jewel?
[00:51:31] I would pay maybe a hundred bucks to meet jewel. Yeah, why not?
[00:51:37] How much time would you spend with her?
[00:51:39] Mmm, it wouldn't take that long. Would you get the ass for the mouth?
[00:51:42] How much would you pay to do a duet in the studio with daido?
[00:51:47] Dude, I would pay a lot. That would be so funny
[00:52:18] Believe that jewel and I can't work with him. Please make him sing the real lyrics
[00:52:34] I heard from a friend of mine in the studio. Yeah, I heard from a friend of mine like second or thirdhand gossip about
[00:52:45] The Jason Statham was a pain in the ass to work with him that he called doing everything gay
[00:52:57] Well, I mean he's not wrong acting his gay
[00:52:59] Yeah, especially if you have that personality or just some fucking meathead to people have been staring at forever
[00:53:04] Right, you know just like the egos on those guys is the worst that you think attractive women are the worst
[00:53:13] We like just every box is checked in terms of like privilege or whatever
[00:53:19] Just rich actor handsome, but then also like
[00:53:22] Frankly rewarded just for looking a certain way and you get that when you get to have a dumb bitch's brain on top of being
[00:53:29] He does act right dumb bitch brain plus every privilege possible. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yes
[00:53:35] That's the fucking worst right. That's the hottest. I mean worst type of guy. Yeah
[00:53:54] That reminds me that I'm very gay I'm very gay
[00:54:00] And even if I could I would not fuck men. I guess I would I'm gay
[00:54:05] I just want to suck on my ass to fuck my ass
[00:54:12] Do Nick I wrote you but you still ain't calling I
[00:54:21] Fuck I gotta go. Yeah, you have therapy. I got therapy. It's got therapy and I just checked on fucking
[00:54:28] Google Maps and take me a whole again Star Wars you gay
[00:54:33] No, but the other stuff man. What about the other stuff first your fat and your bald and your missing teeth
[00:54:43] You should be very bored the answer you should get a personal trainer
[00:54:49] Damn, okay, sir, I feel like girls don't like me. Yeah, they shouldn't be sure is a surprise that you get as much as
[00:54:54] You know, there's no reason for you to be happy that hates me
[00:55:00] He's not even a therapist. He's just Jewish look you deserve to be happy, but you shouldn't be
[00:55:10] Everybody deserves to be happy, but all the other people that look like you are not
[00:55:15] So you should have survivors guilt that I do sort of I
[00:55:18] Hope all my fat boys get get or hot or happy someday. All right. Well come see us on funny mom's Monday
[00:55:27] We're gonna march third and at Lincoln Lodge in Chicago Nicholas is March 3rd
[00:55:31] I'm gonna be in Phoenix. Please come by taking so that on the 19th and then LA
[00:55:35] We added a second show on the second first one sold out by that San Diego the 27th
[00:55:40] Two son on the 20th. Yeah, all this shit harp for the 24th Delaware the 25th second fuck. Goodbye everyone