[00:00:00] cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock

[00:00:03] uh... suck this dick fuck my ass Darth Vader

[00:00:06] yeah Adams you know i am

[00:00:08] Adams leading this one off for us he had something he wanted to say

[00:00:11] oh go ahead Adam

[00:00:12] uh... what what's up y'all welcome to come town

[00:00:16] uh... i think it's pretty clear we've all watched the Michael Jackson documentary

[00:00:21] and uh... it's pretty clear that

[00:00:24] none of us

[00:00:26] got hard at all listening to that detailed descriptions of

[00:00:30] i like how after he's like that the i like the one part with the guy was like uh...

[00:00:35] and he took my penis and he sucked on my penis nice and he had me bend over and

[00:00:39] he would look at my ass and he would

[00:00:41] masturbate himself and i wouldn't ejaculate but he would ejaculate

[00:00:45] and uh... and not to be graphic

[00:00:47] hahahahahaha

[00:00:50] but he would put it his adult sized penis and a sad girl boy

[00:00:53] that part is when i turned it off not to be graphic that is when i turned it off

[00:00:58] i'm like this is child pornography because you finished

[00:01:00] yeah i can't i can't yeah

[00:01:03] nobody's literally just child pornography

[00:01:05] there are definitely guys that jacked off yeah but i mean if you did get fucked

[00:01:08] as a kid you should be able to you know

[00:01:10] retell the story sexually for proper i don't know yet for a bit i haven't seen it

[00:01:16] i don't know i i i don't know if you're a kid i had a document with all the drones

[00:01:20] they didn't mention at least in what i saw it's others like testified against

[00:01:25] other mothers that said their kids are being raped yeah wait robinson and his

[00:01:29] mom did yeah for real yeah yeah and then wait Robson sued as a state four years

[00:01:33] after michael died for one point five billion dollar billy

[00:01:37] yeah

[00:01:38] would be hot okay man how truly

[00:01:40] i'm not saying that he didn't get molested or no no no listen here's the

[00:01:44] thing the document can be bad michael jackson also fucked some kids

[00:01:47] well i just i hope this puts the rest the thing where people are like

[00:01:51] all what you think a guy molest kids just because he loves children mhm spends

[00:01:55] time with them

[00:01:56] it's like yes i do a hundred percent yet one hundred percent people who love their

[00:02:01] kids want to kill their kids half the time

[00:02:04] no like i mean you can love your kids obviously that makes fucking sense to me

[00:02:08] i mean like but what i'm saying is like you hear parents complain about wanting a

[00:02:12] break from their kids

[00:02:13] and michael jackson just like

[00:02:15] i'll fucking i'll hang out with them for a month mm-hmm

[00:02:19] it's fucking weird dude

[00:02:21] yeah it's

[00:02:23] yeah it was

[00:02:24] pretty strange i remember knowing michael jackson was a pedophile when i was an

[00:02:27] element everyone knew it was funny yeah

[00:02:30] way more so than the bill Cosby thing yeah literally everyone

[00:02:35] joked about michael jackson fucking well you went to trial for it twice

[00:02:39] the second time was gated on those charges the second the second trial was the

[00:02:42] best is because he got the nation of islam security detail

[00:02:46] and then he showed up at court and all of his fans were there

[00:02:50] and he decided because he was getting so much love that he'd stand up on top of

[00:02:54] the escalate and dance for us awesome

[00:02:58] before his boy rape

[00:03:04] shut moon yeah that's yeah that's your nation of islam ever

[00:03:08] fuck children no the nation of islam just protected

[00:03:12] powerful black men when you're confusing the nation of islam islamic

[00:03:16] nation yeah please don't do that again stop

[00:03:20] yeah stop being islamophobic on our podcast

[00:03:24] well don't i don't know maybe the lee's in countries

[00:03:28] so you know warlords and shittin pakistan and afghanistan

[00:03:31] issue with them raping boys in the army was told to turn a blind eye to it

[00:03:35] that's what the northern alliance was during the first three was like i mean

[00:03:38] i mean i can't get it if it's women in the army yeah

[00:03:41] but boys let's say Adam yeah no no those the warlords that we like

[00:03:47] uh teamed up with like the northern alliance dude well we didn't we were

[00:03:51] teamed up with the taliban prior to nine eleven

[00:03:53] yeah and then they had to go and and fucking

[00:03:57] and we were fake friends yeah they were fake friends dude

[00:04:00] yeah cut the grass snakes snakes in the grass or whatever my

[00:04:03] we were the big difference that documentary was stressful

[00:04:06] yeah yeah i was just a way that that army captain has zero patients for those

[00:04:11] afghan afghan guys uh-huh just like okay well we already fucking told you

[00:04:16] you know he's like yeah yeah and then it's just some dipshit with like a

[00:04:20] a beard that he died and his wife's menstrual fluid uh-huh you know he's

[00:04:24] in charge of like all seven of the grapes in the country

[00:04:30] and that makes him like the most powerful man there is

[00:04:33] he's he has the only rug seven seven thousand square mile radius

[00:04:39] you probably have nice rugs out there yeah they do they do good work

[00:04:42] my mother magic for years repaired oriental rugs from the region

[00:04:47] uh-huh shout out to michaels rug gallery

[00:04:50] paid my way through middle school that's that's the last time that's the last

[00:04:55] instance that you're allowed to say oriental because you've been talking

[00:04:58] about the rugs yeah because they're not talking about

[00:05:01] chinese or chapanese rugs in fact or yeah you're talking about

[00:05:05] you're so allowed to say they're oriental right yeah i think so

[00:05:07] i don't think you are the rugs from the i think that's canceled

[00:05:10] saying the orient is canceled i think it's canceled yeah

[00:05:13] what yeah then how come ramen noodles

[00:05:16] they're still flavor called oriental um oriental chicken

[00:05:21] because anyone that animals you can be racist to animals

[00:05:24] oh we got all the time i said look at this dumb chink tiger

[00:05:28] and people are like excuse me i'm like it's an animal yeah it's not a huge

[00:05:33] excuse me

[00:05:39] it's an animal oh that's the problem yeah that i'm being racist to okay

[00:05:44] well it's an animal yeah and it's one of those little hat those triangle hats

[00:05:48] what it's doing a very offensive accent first of all it's the bad guy from

[00:05:52] jungle book yeah chakon

[00:05:57] there was the ramen noodle flavor

[00:05:59] called oriental that always tricked me out oriental beef or no i think it was

[00:06:03] just oriental oh was it i believe do you remember discovering

[00:06:06] cup noodles as a kid yeah i didn't discover cups we always had them in

[00:06:10] the package i remember discovering cup noodles when i was like maybe 11 and

[00:06:15] being like this is amazing yeah this is something that comes with the bowl

[00:06:19] yeah yeah it felt like the jet zens where it's like you do the little fucking

[00:06:23] the little packet yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah the little season i still feel that

[00:06:27] marichan like fucking like cheese it's one that's a cheese flavor i'm

[00:06:32] i'm not with that i was disgusting but i love that

[00:06:34] i don't want dairy in that show uh-huh i used to eat the fucking the noodles

[00:06:39] straight straight up oh like a cracker like a cracker yeah yeah i remember one

[00:06:44] time i uh i was just like uh i was drinking at the time but i

[00:06:49] like i would just get for for dinner like uh like a rom i got a ramen packet and

[00:06:55] then i didn't have any way to heat up water so i just spit all over the

[00:06:58] noodle break and then sprinkled the oh my god no

[00:07:03] they're so drunk that's the drunken shit i've ever heard

[00:07:08] that's not so much dick that's yeah i was just sick i just spit all over the

[00:07:14] crush mom put them in the bag and she took it off of the

[00:07:16] no yeah just got back to college wait the problem was you didn't have

[00:07:20] to heat up the water then you could have just used room temp water

[00:07:24] it's not as long as your spit's not hot why didn't want to go down stairs

[00:07:28] yeah because you were playing call of duty i wasn't playing call of duty

[00:07:31] i didn't have access to call of duty at the time

[00:07:35] what were where were you jail that's what they don't even do in jail

[00:07:40] that's what i was loving that was that was that was dark that was dark that was

[00:07:49] low yeah but hey you know it tasted all right

[00:07:53] that's brutal that's so fucking funny i remember i got accused of stealing

[00:07:57] ramen in ocean city one time the 25 cent union store yeah because i came

[00:08:02] with my friends and i was eating it i've done a lot of like just eating the

[00:08:06] thing is a brick yes that's what yeah me too but i love i'll be that right now

[00:08:11] yeah yeah the fucking owners of some store were like

[00:08:14] come here for a second let me see that what is that i'm like it's ramen

[00:08:17] and they were like mike where's this in the store and i was like i walked in with

[00:08:21] it you know he's like mike where is this and he's like i don't think we sell

[00:08:24] that this guy's like being hyper aggressive at me

[00:08:27] stealing a 20 maybe a 25 cent yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

[00:08:31] that's so fucking good yeah i mean i i get it there are some

[00:08:36] hooligans out there yeah yeah nice mOCMD

[00:08:40] spring break doing crazy shit like stealing ramen uh-huh and having the

[00:08:45] audacity to eat it in front of the overzealous security guy

[00:08:51] it is funny all those like places do have a fucking

[00:08:54] a guy who's like working security that's just completely unqualified for the

[00:08:58] job yeah every like college town or beach town or

[00:09:01] some should just a fat guy most of the time it's a fat you want a

[00:09:05] tall you don't even have to be tall you want a big tall fat guy if possible

[00:09:08] but you'll take any fat guy right i can't tell you how many times i've been

[00:09:11] standing uh-huh somewhere and people have given me their

[00:09:15] ideas like just outside of a fucking establishment you should say that there's

[00:09:19] cover yeah hell yeah just make 20 dollars maybe

[00:09:23] girl hundred bucks real quick yeah i used to all yeah when i'm all black

[00:09:28] looking like a bouncer yeah you'd be the worst bounce

[00:09:32] absolutely i have no bouncing skills yeah i don't want to bounce

[00:09:35] yeah but you look pretty bouncing you just block the door

[00:09:39] yeah exactly it would be it would be a merely a space thing nobody gets in

[00:09:43] nobody gets yeah he's wedged himself folks

[00:09:48] my fucking my fucking uh bathroom door

[00:09:51] stopped working and i got locked in for like 30 minutes today

[00:09:57] in your bathroom my personal bathroom no one else is

[00:09:59] stuck in the bathroom huh no one else was no

[00:10:02] though you're saying you got stuck in the bathroom no i didn't get stuck the door

[00:10:06] it the lock was malfunctioning you got with elders on the other side of the

[00:10:10] door you get stuck in the bathtub often no can you even lay down in the back

[00:10:14] we should get we should get in one of those like alert buttons that

[00:10:18] old people have like when you said on the toilet how much of you is

[00:10:22] hanging off the side yeah yeah it's a it's a clean fit

[00:10:26] is there a certain brand where it's like i've never thought of that i've never

[00:10:30] thought of that how much extra space you're taking up on the sides of the

[00:10:33] toilet yeah i remember Pete told me my friend Pete

[00:10:36] also roomy he told me he was getting fat and for the first time in his life he

[00:10:40] felt his stomach on his legs and that was the first time i realized

[00:10:43] some people don't feel their stomach oh yeah i never i mean

[00:10:49] that's the reality i've lived since i was a fat i've been a fat child yeah that's

[00:10:53] 30 years i've never not been yeah i've never not had a little fucking

[00:10:56] i do remember like being fat and then not being

[00:10:59] fat and not not being able to feel my thighs rub anymore

[00:11:02] and being like whoa yeah yeah i don't even know how to walk

[00:11:08] oh with that thought dude my fucking my fucking size i took a nice long walk

[00:11:12] i've been getting my steps in dude as a little fat kid i was like

[00:11:15] constantly just like belief yeah my fucking my thighs look like

[00:11:20] ground beef yeah it was awful it's really uh

[00:11:23] stop yeah

[00:11:26] stop no it doesn't smell as bad as the one i did last time

[00:11:30] should we should we plug what's that our good friend's dates no we're doing

[00:11:34] that's the this is the sunday is the sunday episode okay okay

[00:11:38] this is the premium so we're recording this one early because as you will

[00:11:42] have known already oh that's true they know by now they know by now because

[00:11:46] i guess we're having recorded yet but the wednesday episode we have to do

[00:11:50] with bam marjera mm-hmm so he can plug his

[00:11:54] it's at whatever the fucking it's the west side comedy club

[00:11:58] which i feel bad i feel like the premium episode should be the bam one but i

[00:12:02] have a feeling that would be a shrewd business it's gonna be a bad episode

[00:12:06] the bam the bam one oh yeah yeah probably it's gonna be terrible

[00:12:10] i'll just be there yeah yeah yeah do you remember how mad people got off

[00:12:14] after dave cros yeah but that was a different thing though

[00:12:17] this will this will be like just he just expects to do morning radio or

[00:12:22] something yeah it's like we're like the more and i can't wait to i mean i'm

[00:12:25] gonna ask him how we stole david cross from chappo

[00:12:28] it was wrong of us to have him on the show yeah there

[00:12:30] there his it's their friend did they did we

[00:12:34] no no we should yeah we should have back

[00:12:38] david no dude we told him already he has to either get divorced he does

[00:12:43] politics now we can't have that's true he needs to either get the worst

[00:12:47] or if he says the n-word never do the podcast again he says the n-word on

[00:12:50] the podcast didn't he do actually didn't he say the n-word on chappo

[00:12:54] i think he did i think that yeah i did it out yeah

[00:12:58] oh what i was in the apartment without a happen

[00:13:01] i was like dang yeah he dropped an n-bomb he was hosting uh he was hosting a

[00:13:07] comedy show and uh and some white guy was like

[00:13:11] dancing around it in his acting he was like come on

[00:13:14] we all know the word he said and it was it like uh

[00:13:18] it was it like uh what was it called the fuck is it

[00:13:24] i forgot that fucking big-ass place in goannus

[00:13:28] the mama's oh yeah yeah yeah it was night train when i want to go on

[00:13:31] what's it called little field it was at little field yeah it was just like a

[00:13:34] bunch of fucking you know uptight ass hipster old

[00:13:39] aged hipsters yeah i did not want to hear the n-bomb

[00:13:44] but david if you're listening come back and

[00:13:47] so who's stupid enough for oh i guess bam i was just answered the on my own

[00:13:50] question what's this stupid famous guy we could get

[00:13:53] um this is stupid famous guy we could get dude you know we should you know i

[00:13:59] most famous people are pretty dumb i've been watching that's my opinion on

[00:14:02] celebrity take them dark get them bro yeah i've been watching rock of love with

[00:14:06] bret michaels shit goes off dude dude i still remember the name of the

[00:14:11] girl came out like 15 years ago yeah i know but it's on who or it's on

[00:14:15] amazon now uncensored ooh and pussy and so you see the titties

[00:14:20] they say one girl the first episode calls first of all there's four black

[00:14:24] funny if you were on that show 20 years ago and they're like oh we censor

[00:14:27] everything yeah

[00:14:29] some girl called the first night some bitch got drunkish it

[00:14:35] and called one of the only four girls called

[00:14:37] dropped an n-bomb and they just let her own the show on the uncensored i think

[00:14:41] they actually did censor that they said they had they have a hate speech

[00:14:45] yeah i watched i watched all of that show my my

[00:14:48] ex-girlfriend was like really into it yeah just have the show on all the time and

[00:14:52] remember and flavor of love yeah those huge watch both those

[00:14:54] flavor love is not as good i would just sit there like just drinking wishing

[00:14:57] we could watch literally anything else not dude rock-a-love rocks dude

[00:15:01] no remember new york from flavor love shoes new york i do like new york

[00:15:06] but rock-a-love isn't that one of them huh was that was in one of them named

[00:15:10] paris or no maybe there was a paris there was a buck wild

[00:15:14] a buck wild is great i don't know who's like a white girl

[00:15:17] buck wild yeah it's just like just worry fucking i love those

[00:15:20] shit they all they all take place in it's like an

[00:15:24] a season but it's all clearly like six days they had to cancel yeah and like

[00:15:29] just a mansion definitely yes they're definitely fucking he's

[00:15:32] definitely fucking all of them like they're all fucking all of them

[00:15:37] there is one there was one episode where he has a threesome with like he has a

[00:15:42] foursome with three of the bitches and then he eliminates one of them

[00:15:47] the same episode and the other ones were in the

[00:15:49] latin the bottom three he was a trash for them he like he penalizes them for

[00:15:55] fucking him it was awesome dude she does porn out brandy c

[00:16:00] check her out guys if you want to do but there was someone died on one of those

[00:16:03] shows i think it was a spin-off though during filming someone died

[00:16:07] or committed suicide during filming i think that's why vh1 stopped making

[00:16:12] those shows i think it was a rock-of-love spin-off

[00:16:15] with one of the girls and she was dating people interesting and i think one of

[00:16:20] the guys killed the gillows killed himself

[00:16:22] it wasn't during the run of the show i'm not sure if it was during or after that

[00:16:26] would be awesome i think it might have been during because i think they might

[00:16:29] have stopped production damn i'll look at it i'm talking out of my

[00:16:33] ass right now yeah like i oftentimes do but i'm pretty sure i would be so mad if

[00:16:37] that happened to me and i'm just a stud about to have my big break on vh1

[00:16:42] and then vh1 used to rock when it had all this i want a reality show where i

[00:16:46] just get a helicopter and i go over manhattan throwing pennies out

[00:16:51] with gravity to the work

[00:16:57] hey you're watching dirty jobs here

[00:17:00] throwing pennies out of a helicopter somebody's got to do it

[00:17:04] no they don't please stop cop helicopters are just chasing you the whole time

[00:17:11] would you be absorbed of the murder because of vh1 yeah because of vh1

[00:17:15] is micro stand-up as well or the cash cab is a stand-up

[00:17:20] yeah yeah then they end up i saw i'm on i was on a date

[00:17:26] uh i was on a date at a barn midtown and i just saw

[00:17:30] ben bailey just getting fucking shit housed

[00:17:34] till all hours of the night would you tell tmz yeah

[00:17:37] yeah i'm doing it right now this is this is a celebrity

[00:17:44] we got a video of uh justin beaver having gay sex

[00:17:48] with ben bailey um surfer dude what do you make of this

[00:17:54] oh jah jah jah i wonder what was going through his mind when that was

[00:17:58] happening okay good job black dreads yeah black

[00:18:02] dreads dude dreads guy yeah he seems like such a decent human being

[00:18:06] then you remember he works for everyone away yeah he works with tmz

[00:18:10] he's going to hell that is so funny how that guy what is his name harvey levin

[00:18:14] yeah he's uh the he was the reporter for the people's court yeah

[00:18:19] yeah that's so weird yeah bottom bum i am gay he's also

[00:18:24] not one gay he's like sneakily 70 something years old

[00:18:28] and like he's one of those like gay guys that just

[00:18:30] one of those things that's forever one of those gay guys you want to fuck i don't

[00:18:33] want to fuck him but he's one of those there's a style of gay guy that's like

[00:18:37] that though if he would get tmz to cover me like i'm a celebrity

[00:18:41] yeah you want paparazzi love paparazzi stepin out

[00:18:47] you're out of the woods too much zionist propaganda that's what

[00:18:51] cmz yep too much zionism too much zionism yeah

[00:18:56] shout out elan dude elan musk no how do you say oh elan o mar elan o mar yeah

[00:19:03] shout out she's getting her titties fucked by everyone right now

[00:19:07] she's getting her titties she is it sucks for just standing up to the fucking

[00:19:13] you know who i won't say it that's what she gets for

[00:19:16] barely criticizing is real indirectly

[00:19:21] it is so funny how it is no better you should know about her to tweet something

[00:19:25] vaguely critical of apak

[00:19:29] it's so the lobbying arm of a government and create

[00:19:35] the greatest debate we've seen all year how mad should we be of her

[00:19:41] what's the appropriate obviously she's done something wrong she's done something

[00:19:44] wrong we can all agree there it's not it's not the place of uh of a public

[00:19:49] servant to criticize a lobbying group

[00:19:53] it is not her place to do that no way

[00:19:57] oh fuck dude yeah it really just is a Jewish conspiracy

[00:20:03] i know there's and everything that happens yeah they say that thank you

[00:20:06] like it is a Jewish conspiracy you're earning your paycheck this there

[00:20:10] is there is no other way to look at it

[00:20:12] angles so that you know we get it we know what we're doing here

[00:20:15] i i read the tea leaves i know what's in history i want to be

[00:20:20] it's time yeah it's time for you guys to start switching

[00:20:22] listen what happened with bb isn't his ass

[00:20:26] go to his corruption charge a corruption charges well what all that is is israels

[00:20:29] just sacrificing bb now so that when it's proven that

[00:20:34] israel hacked the election yeah basically

[00:20:37] rigged our election they're able to wash their hands of it and just say it was

[00:20:41] no it's just bb it's cronies meanwhile the government

[00:20:45] the entire government of israel is responsible all of the israeli people

[00:20:48] are responsible every single person and by extension anyone who's going on

[00:20:52] britain right anyone who's ever so much is touched a jewish person

[00:20:57] wait a second what have you gotten sucked off by one

[00:21:00] well then shame on you fuck i'm sorry what if she was wearing big rubber

[00:21:06] gloves and a dental dammer or over my cock still counts

[00:21:10] fuck because the because of the smell you get the smell on you the

[00:21:14] the salted beef and yeah boiled meats promise they're going to let those

[00:21:18] german shepherds out of the cages at some point they only got one

[00:21:21] sense to go

[00:21:25] dogs can't read you know them german shepherds

[00:21:30] yeah i got 200 000 german shepherds waiting in my compound

[00:21:34] you're just ready to go ready to go the nazi i've been going i got a big whistle

[00:21:38] and a laser pointer i've been riling them up

[00:21:41] every day i go out there and i rile those dogs up

[00:21:46] i fucking blow the air horn and they're they're trying to sleep

[00:21:50] it's rile o'clock baby mhm fuck dude yeah and shout out to

[00:21:56] yes queen alexandria causio yeah who um has a boyfriend fuck

[00:22:04] who has a ginger he's a ginger yeah uh but yeah he totally threw

[00:22:10] every day i watch c-span in the hopes that her tits will just fall out of

[00:22:14] her shirt it'll be some kind of wardrobe malfunction

[00:22:18] and we'll get it we'll get a sneak peek at her breast

[00:22:21] that would be awesome yeah happy i would be great if all of her clothes got

[00:22:25] sucked into an escalator as she was on her way to give a speech about i don't

[00:22:29] know the woke medicine or something i don't

[00:22:33] know would yes yeah um we need more black lady doctors at the free hospital

[00:22:38] that's right that's what the speech is on but there's an escalator malfunction

[00:22:42] right and her whole uh her sleeve gets caught and then for some reason

[00:22:47] everything rims off

[00:22:51] and she's just in her brawl yeah and then a slow motion uh-huh 10k camera just

[00:23:06] hi i'm harvey leavitt then uh harry leaven here it seems like an

[00:23:10] escalator mishap is the world ready for a president with big jugs um i don't

[00:23:17] know i think the first female president is going to be a republican i think

[00:23:21] everyone knows will she have big jugs probably i don't know it'd probably be

[00:23:25] fucking stormy daniels she's not republican though she will

[00:23:28] be by the time she runs oh yes true that is a good point

[00:23:33] everyone's mad at her for her headlining her t-shirt kind of weird because those

[00:23:37] spots are supposed to go to real female comedians

[00:23:39] yeah you know the ones that aren't being booked at clubs

[00:23:43] that's who those spots should go to well it's also it's a wednesday

[00:23:47] it's a door deal like letter fucking any asshole normally they have a mic

[00:23:52] apparently normally they have a mic that night yeah dude

[00:23:54] clubs will let any like mick fully fucking yeah it does that shit you know what i

[00:23:59] mean it's like who cares you could do it too on a wednesday if you wanted to

[00:24:03] they'll let any asshole do it yeah why like i was just like

[00:24:07] they're not booking women and then they book women and it's like not

[00:24:10] that woman yeah i meant me that's what representation

[00:24:16] means it means me personally

[00:24:22] that is true mhm damn i didn't think about that

[00:24:25] yeah well it just all goes back to you know it's like fucking

[00:24:29] espazito getting mad about nana that's right you know right that's the

[00:24:33] motivation with all this shit it's like you see a fucking opportunity

[00:24:36] yeah yeah not us so no not us we do for the love of the game

[00:24:41] love of the game we came up on the streets

[00:24:43] mhm we podcast to get enough money to i don't know dude i don't know

[00:24:47] a second playstation did you yeah i don't know if i could keep doing it

[00:24:50] guys okay well well yeah he just said he bought a second playstation we just

[00:24:54] said it's for the love of gaming i don't know why you're trying to detract from

[00:24:57] this conversation by telling us that you regret your

[00:25:00] purchase of the first cool thing you've done ever

[00:25:03] we're in the first school that's done plenty of cool thing name one other thing

[00:25:07] uh that's just cool is buying a playstation i got engaged

[00:25:11] gay that's not you know that's cool no it's very good we're gonna get you into

[00:25:16] gaming and in all that you don't think yeah i teach you the power of

[00:25:20] gaming to ruin relationships yeah no i don't it's weird i feel like before

[00:25:26] you get married you should have the experience of destroying

[00:25:28] several relationships of video right by not looking out from a

[00:25:32] computer i have actually before one time uh girl and i was his name

[00:25:37] uh girl and i just a girl being like i just found out my mom has breast cancer

[00:25:41] and you're like yeah yeah i think i heard something about that

[00:25:46] yeah just doing my simulating into 2042 and madden

[00:25:50] you just there's no real characters left it's all fake guys

[00:25:56] just create a playstation yeah yeah it's like uh baby this guy that i started

[00:26:01] playing an nc double a like importing my quarterback from nc double a07 into

[00:26:06] madden o8 and then playing his entire career out

[00:26:10] instead of like going to a lunch with her mom

[00:26:13] like i feel kind of sick actually yeah i think i'm gonna stay in yeah i know

[00:26:18] it's your parents anniversary no this girl got she was

[00:26:22] i was dating her she got her laptop so she was crying and i'd already been over

[00:26:26] there to be like oh sorry you're going in

[00:26:29] and then i was at my friend's house playing fifa and she's like i need you

[00:26:32] here now i'm not doing well over a laptop yeah and then i was like

[00:26:36] i was like i want to play fifa right now and then she

[00:26:39] stops doing the jew knows elle she was not jewish yeah she was irish

[00:26:45] actually uh but and then uh and then i went over to her house and she

[00:26:49] thought like she would cry and then win an argument and then i was just like i'm

[00:26:53] you're like bitch we broke up two to one i broke up that you broke over there

[00:26:57] over fifa yeah respect honestly adam i know this is the most i've ever

[00:27:02] respected you that is that is that is a good move

[00:27:05] that's the same girl who i didn't see avatar because i didn't want to buy

[00:27:09] two i max three d tickets that's okay now i'm doing it now this is

[00:27:13] back now now i'm actually giving it back to the atom we know

[00:27:17] yeah no i don't want to impress you guys if i can tell you're

[00:27:19] honestly you're not going to buy her a caesar salad

[00:27:23] because i could make i could make what what are you going to charge

[00:27:28] that was so fucking good 18 dollars for a season of salina with his friend

[00:27:32] in raw material in raw materials that's i was

[00:27:36] in a doll you want me to pick you anything up you just need

[00:27:38] Caesar's dressing and romaine lettuce i'm not getting you a caesar salad i

[00:27:43] can make you a caesar salad and make one at home i'll go to the grocery store

[00:27:46] he fucking asshole we had these are dressing and

[00:27:52] romaine lettuce and parmesan i could have made it at home

[00:27:56] asked you to get her a salad while you're out to eat

[00:27:59] you make it you make like a hundred thousand dollars a year

[00:28:03] yes she doesn't make that shit that was one of the best things i know i

[00:28:07] but i did get the cesar salad and i got her a piece of

[00:28:09] yeah because we had to be glad pressured you

[00:28:12] no we mocked you for 20 minutes i'm a good

[00:28:15] fee on so in fact you were whispering and i overheard

[00:28:19] holding down that was why you were in the bathroom it was a huge

[00:28:22] night of pure pressure for you

[00:28:25] that was so embarrassing

[00:28:27] these things that were lusting after that collides day all the whole

[00:28:30] life that's right and then at the end you're like i think i like her too

[00:28:33] and it was too late we were done we were done having sex with her in our mind

[00:28:37] the big ass big titty waitress yeah i were more ass than titty but yes

[00:28:41] collides i forgot about her that bud once or collides don't forget about her

[00:28:46] don't like a buggy she was yeah she's her ass is filled with an homage

[00:28:49] family of the clives they have the like the little fringes around their hooves

[00:28:53] did they add those those are natural i think a lot of horse style is natural

[00:28:57] yeah do you think horses or horses are fucking pickup artists naturally

[00:29:01] jestic creatures they're always peacocking yeah

[00:29:04] they got those big dicks what's okay here's another thing

[00:29:08] what what's implied when someone says horse girl

[00:29:12] that they're horny yeah no no they're autistic they're autistic they're

[00:29:16] trains yeah trains oh they're autistic it's like a bit

[00:29:20] with a little girl with braces and they want to fuck the horses

[00:29:24] no no no well made in a way that they want to fuck the trains no

[00:29:28] no it's much more wholesome than that it's about loving

[00:29:32] horses i always thought it was because they say that they don't have they

[00:29:35] they break their hymns as children from riding horses

[00:29:39] so that means that there's sluts or something no no although that does

[00:29:42] happen apparently i'll tell you what we're definitely fans of sluts on

[00:29:45] this podcast oh yeah that is true yeah this is an anti-slut shaming pod

[00:29:49] no we like sluts yeah you know there's one thing i hate it's when sluts are

[00:29:52] shamed you know yeah i love to celebrate sluts

[00:29:56] need to that's why i can't wait to go to the slut walk in washington dc

[00:30:01] yep to protest oh and clap nice nice say baby hey baby sit those

[00:30:08] fucking pussy lips right here mmm couple of sluts walking in i put a little

[00:30:13] miniature chair over my mouth like yeah i got a seat for your baby girl right

[00:30:17] here

[00:30:23] hey have a seat you look tired

[00:30:30] i know i'm actually just eating a miniature chair

[00:30:33] they're like what what do you mean yeah but you know i'll show you put

[00:30:39] whatever shut up you pull the chair out from underneath them yeah

[00:30:43] yeah i bet you thought you were gonna sit on that small chair you fucking

[00:30:47] the whore you dumb bitch on you i'm eating your pussy now

[00:30:51] pull the chair right out from under you it's the perfect crime

[00:30:57] it's the perfect motherfucking crime when is the slut walk

[00:31:00] it was supposed to be in january but they had to cancel it because it was

[00:31:03] anti-Semitic it is no that was the women's mark that's what i call the slut

[00:31:08] yeah

[00:31:13] wait how was it anti-Semitic no the women's march split into one is the

[00:31:17] jewish women's march and the other one for everyone else

[00:31:21] no it's for for like uh black women Hispanic women and muslims so

[00:31:26] everyone else no there's also just white non-Jewish women

[00:31:30] so there's three no there's just so what white women go to the jewish

[00:31:35] march i think they kind of do no because then it just becomes the white

[00:31:38] march yeah which which is kind of is right

[00:31:42] no no you fucking racist i don't know

[00:31:48] whatever you what i'm not a race you are dude

[00:31:52] i'm not a race you are i yes you are

[00:32:00] nigga you're just cleaning dead skin off your hands i am i'm with a knife i'm

[00:32:04] cutting dead skin off sorry it's not a man it's okay bro

[00:32:10] rip to um to the guy from prodigy yeah yeah it's so funny how like there's

[00:32:17] been so many just like celebrity deaths and people get upset about it but i

[00:32:20] feel like well i guess i'm not on social media so i would have no idea

[00:32:23] nobody gave a shit about the prodigy guy there was like a section i tried to

[00:32:28] jack off to the smack my bitch up video when i first saw that as a tribute because

[00:32:32] you see no no when i was a kid because you see tits in it you do or they're

[00:32:36] blurred out on it on tv but you see i don't think i could tell you

[00:32:40] a single prodigy song smack my bitch how does smack my bitch

[00:32:43] just get the name of it but i don't know what to take my pictures

[00:32:46] smack my picture smack my bitch up bum bum bum bum bum

[00:32:53] um that fire starter minefields we just went through this on fucking legion

[00:32:58] skanks last did you last night yeah were they prodigy

[00:33:01] i can't name a single you know a dog dude i said we were having one

[00:33:05] conversation i was like what's like the best band of the 90s i don't mean like

[00:33:09] your favorite i mean like which would you say right is when people think of

[00:33:13] 90s in terms of music who's the top yeah and it's like either nirvana or

[00:33:17] pearl jam and i said probably pearl jam and louis said

[00:33:22] system of a damn who's more of a two thousand

[00:33:26] band yeah yeah not even it doesn't none of the criteria

[00:33:29] no no no and then he goes without question

[00:33:33] hands because no i'm saying objectively he's not even saying it's my face his

[00:33:40] favorite yeah he's saying the world would tell you scientifically the best band

[00:33:45] at the more qualifications he had added the wrong or the answer

[00:33:51] uh fuck that's so shout out to serge system over down

[00:33:55] suck me let me say your penis let me fuck it

[00:33:58] i am fucking gay i want to have sex with your dad

[00:34:08] oh my fucking parents goes okay

[00:34:13] baby did they come in my ass 45 to get you want to do inside my ass i'm gay

[00:34:28] when angels will fuck my

[00:34:30] oh yeah baby what else they have they had that one

[00:34:40] chopped sui right that's the same song right yes i think that's what that

[00:34:43] song i know but what's the other one what's another one angels in the outfield

[00:34:46] the angels are happy

[00:34:52] then it won't do it don't you my dad wouldn't come back

[00:34:56] i'm gonna go right in circle

[00:34:59] okay suck it on a day because i'm gay you want it to

[00:35:04] getting fucking signed up my ass you want it to i just want you to bust

[00:35:09] in my

[00:35:18] yeah that was a really fun one to do

[00:35:20] wow

[00:35:27] my ass and mouth please i'm gay

[00:35:32] the more i think of it the funnier that is yeah honestly can we just do that for

[00:35:36] another half hour yeah suck me suck on one fucking nigga

[00:35:40] get on you

[00:35:49] Yes, baby, come here fucking sissy.

[00:35:54] Put me in a fucking dress, I'm gay.

[00:35:56] We're looking at the puppy.

[00:36:04] Wow.

[00:36:05] Wow.

[00:36:06] Perhaps the perfect one.

[00:36:09] The cadence is really good for that.

[00:36:12] Yeah, it's the best.

[00:36:13] You can put so much in there.

[00:36:14] Because the cadence of the song, like system of down song, they sound like someone calling

[00:36:19] in to stern trying to get their dumb jokes.

[00:36:21] Yeah.

[00:36:22] And I get hung up.

[00:36:24] Yeah.

[00:36:25] Yeah.

[00:36:26] Oh, that's so good.

[00:36:27] Erics fucking gay, blah, blah, blah.

[00:36:30] It was coming from my house.

[00:36:35] It's penis.

[00:36:37] You want it to?

[00:36:42] Yeah, everyone said surge was like a genius.

[00:36:46] I remember when I was a kid.

[00:36:47] Yeah.

[00:36:48] I'd say that for real that he read like three books at a time.

[00:36:52] At once.

[00:36:53] Yeah.

[00:36:54] Like that picture that got in the subway all the way home to books.

[00:36:57] No, no, no.

[00:36:58] No, that's the best picture of all time.

[00:36:59] The smartest man of all time.

[00:37:01] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:37:02] It is quite literally the best picture of all time.

[00:37:05] Or maybe that was just one thing I heard from the Mickey and Amelia Morning show.

[00:37:10] There are media.

[00:37:11] There are media.

[00:37:12] After that.

[00:37:13] Now that I think about it.

[00:37:14] Yeah.

[00:37:15] You know, Milly, he's actually the smartest person on earth.

[00:37:18] No, I have a vivid memory of Amelia saying it actually.

[00:37:23] Oh, really?

[00:37:24] I can't even remember what she looked like.

[00:37:26] Just like a brown hair.

[00:37:28] Yeah, just a huge cans.

[00:37:30] No.

[00:37:31] No.

[00:37:32] I think just a regular ass woman.

[00:37:34] Yeah.

[00:37:35] Who loved rock and roll?

[00:37:36] It was in her soul.

[00:37:37] Damn, rock and roll is so cool.

[00:37:38] I know, dude.

[00:37:39] That's such a funny person to be today.

[00:37:41] Yeah.

[00:37:42] Just loving like fucking hard rock.

[00:37:45] Being a rocker.

[00:37:46] Hard ass rock.

[00:37:48] Audio slave.

[00:37:49] I guess Bam's a rocker.

[00:37:51] Our buddy Bam.

[00:37:52] Yeah, our good friend Bam.

[00:37:54] He's both a skater and a rocker.

[00:37:56] It's cool that we're recording this before.

[00:37:58] Yeah.

[00:37:59] Because what if it's just a disaster?

[00:38:01] It's good.

[00:38:02] That is cool.

[00:38:03] We're so excited right now.

[00:38:04] Let's think about the future right now.

[00:38:06] The future of Bam going to cook out.

[00:38:09] Yeah.

[00:38:10] Flipping burgers.

[00:38:11] We all move to Westchester.

[00:38:14] To Westchester.

[00:38:16] That would be awesome, dude.

[00:38:17] You know, Adam is the pedophile of our crew.

[00:38:19] He's our Dom Vito.

[00:38:20] Yeah.

[00:38:21] Well, they need a new one after he died.

[00:38:22] Yeah.

[00:38:23] I guess I could step up.

[00:38:24] I do look the most like Don Vito.

[00:38:26] Adam's just Adam's just a scooter that

[00:38:28] Adam's just by himself in his room, his bedroom, looking at his laptop.

[00:38:31] And you just hear through the door.

[00:38:33] Hi, I'm Adam.

[00:38:34] And this is download child pornography.

[00:38:35] You know I'm not good enough at computers, man.

[00:38:42] Yeah, that's the thing stopping you.

[00:38:44] You know I'm not good enough at computers, man.

[00:38:46] Adam calling the geek squad.

[00:38:48] I'm like, I can't get now.

[00:38:51] You guys can't see what's on my computer right now, right?

[00:38:54] I can't get this zip file to open.

[00:38:56] I just like, you know, the option about whether or not you put a password on your Wi-Fi.

[00:39:01] And it's like, there's really no danger in not putting a password on your Wi-Fi.

[00:39:06] Other than pedophiles will sit outside your house and download child porn.

[00:39:10] Really?

[00:39:12] Yeah, that's the thing.

[00:39:14] Really?

[00:39:16] Yeah, pedophiles is driving around looking for free Wi-Fi and then they find it and then they download porn.

[00:39:20] And then those people get like SWAT teamed.

[00:39:22] Holy shit.

[00:39:23] It happened to fucking Adam, Kate and Holland.

[00:39:26] Nah.

[00:39:27] Yeah, he wrote an essay about it.

[00:39:28] Holy shit.

[00:39:29] He fucking detectives kicked down his door and put a fucking gun to his head.

[00:39:33] Jesus Christ.

[00:39:34] Yeah.

[00:39:35] Which I also don't understand, because even if he was looking at child porn, what do they think he's going to do?

[00:39:39] Like, shoot that off.

[00:39:40] Just get that off.

[00:39:41] Yeah.

[00:39:42] Yeah.

[00:39:43] Stop him.

[00:39:44] He's holding his cock.

[00:39:45] Yeah.

[00:39:46] He's finishing.

[00:39:47] Stand back.

[00:39:48] He's got a dick.

[00:39:49] I just watched a fucking little point of dinosaur shirt give head.

[00:39:52] I'm juiced up and ready to come.

[00:39:54] Jesus Christ.

[00:39:55] Nah, I'm just thinking of it.

[00:39:56] We got to bring a negotiator.

[00:39:58] What do you want, man?

[00:40:00] We'll send in anything.

[00:40:01] You want some Reese's Pieces?

[00:40:03] And just don't bust, okay?

[00:40:05] Just keep edging.

[00:40:06] Keep edging.

[00:40:07] Look, man, I want to be your friend, dude.

[00:40:10] I think you're a pretty cool guy.

[00:40:12] Just put this condom on your dick, man.

[00:40:14] Just put the condom on your dick.

[00:40:15] Whatever you do.

[00:40:16] Like, just don't bust.

[00:40:17] We can talk about this.

[00:40:19] I know it's a misunderstanding.

[00:40:23] You just really like children.

[00:40:24] You just really like girls gymnastics.

[00:40:26] Yeah.

[00:40:27] You're not.

[00:40:28] Damn, dude.

[00:40:29] Now I'm just thinking of that fucking Michael Jackson.

[00:40:31] I know.

[00:40:32] And like all those shots of Neverland Ranch, it's like, how did no one know?

[00:40:36] It's like he's carnival.

[00:40:37] It's like he's carnival.

[00:40:38] With that one part with the guys like, you know, and then we had sex on the little train.

[00:40:42] Jesus.

[00:40:43] And it's like, of course you did.

[00:40:44] Then he turned me.

[00:40:45] What the fuck is the point of having a tiny cartoon train on your property, if not, to

[00:40:51] molest children off?

[00:40:52] Dude, Cat Williams, honestly, has the best bit of all time about how he's clearly a pedophile.

[00:40:56] What's that?

[00:40:57] Or he's just like, he's like, now I like bitches.

[00:41:00] So I get things that bitches like.

[00:41:02] He was like, he was like, you come to my house?

[00:41:05] The best, man.

[00:41:06] He's just like, you come to my house?

[00:41:08] He's like, I got a full ball.

[00:41:10] I'm butchering the bit.

[00:41:11] He's like, he's like, I got satin pillowcases for, you know, you ain't got to put your

[00:41:16] hair up at night.

[00:41:17] He's like, now look what Michael got.

[00:41:19] He's like, it was just so good, dude.

[00:41:21] I don't remember the whole bit, but it's fucking looked that up.

[00:41:24] That's a definitive.

[00:41:25] There was a dozen.

[00:41:27] He was doing Michael Jackson clearly fucked kids jokes like in front of stadium full of

[00:41:32] black people when no one was admitting it.

[00:41:34] It was like, yeah, he would get like semi booted and he's like, no, no, no, hold on.

[00:41:40] Yeah, don't.

[00:41:41] Don't say anything about Mike.

[00:41:43] Suck me.

[00:41:44] Fuck my damn, he fucked on the little train.

[00:41:47] He fucked everywhere.

[00:41:48] That was a that guy was just listening all the places they fucked.

[00:41:51] Can you imagine being the conductor of the little train and Neverland Ranch?

[00:41:55] You just hear the screams of children.

[00:41:58] They're like, I don't care as long as they were on time.

[00:42:03] I made a song now.

[00:42:05] I told my wife if she was dying and childbirth, my only son would at least make sure the

[00:42:12] trains run on time.

[00:42:15] And disgrace conductor.

[00:42:17] Oh my God, it's okay.

[00:42:20] I love you.

[00:42:21] We'll marry two each other.

[00:42:22] We're in love.

[00:42:23] Oh, whoa.

[00:42:24] Conductors only got one jam.

[00:42:25] They can share these train.

[00:42:26] What happened?

[00:42:27] On the train is none of my concern.

[00:42:35] My only job is to make sure there's enough coal in these farms.

[00:42:41] One day I joined my sweet Rosalie in heaven.

[00:42:45] Oh, hell yes.

[00:42:47] Mr. Conductor, man, can you skip the next stop?

[00:42:53] I suppose so.

[00:42:55] As long as we stay on schedule.

[00:43:02] That would be a great like hidden mission in Red Dead.

[00:43:04] And started being like, slow the train.

[00:43:07] This is a robbery.

[00:43:10] That's a kind of fucked up shit that would be in Red Dead.

[00:43:13] Oh, Arthur, I don't think this is no finance train.

[00:43:18] Whoa, what the hell are you talking about, Marcus?

[00:43:22] The Lolita Express of the time of the day.

[00:43:25] You're going to want to take a look at this.

[00:43:27] Jesus Christ.

[00:43:29] What the hell are all these balloons?

[00:43:36] Those ain't balloons.

[00:43:38] Oh, God, I think I'm going to be sick.

[00:43:44] Damn.

[00:43:46] What's a more evil train?

[00:43:51] The Auschwitz train or the train in Neverland Ranch?

[00:43:54] I don't know.

[00:43:55] And for all of this hard work, Thomas was rewarded with a fresh coat of paint by Mr.

[00:44:00] Toppenat.

[00:44:04] I guess the Auschwitz one still.

[00:44:07] Yeah.

[00:44:08] They didn't even have bathrooms in the Auschwitz one.

[00:44:10] Yeah.

[00:44:11] So rude.

[00:44:12] I mean, the kid was getting his dick sucked.

[00:44:15] I'm not saying it's good.

[00:44:17] I'm saying if I had to choose between getting molested and dying in the overuse.

[00:44:24] Yeah, I would pick getting molested.

[00:44:26] Oh, yeah.

[00:44:28] Murdered is worse than being molested.

[00:44:31] Yeah.

[00:44:32] Well, it's also they were being molested in Auschwitz.

[00:44:34] Yeah.

[00:44:35] Yeah, probably.

[00:44:36] No, for sure.

[00:44:37] Like women fucked guards to like save their families.

[00:44:40] Damn.

[00:44:41] Wow.

[00:44:42] For sure.

[00:44:43] And it's like that's that must that must have been an I told you so moment if you were

[00:44:47] like a whore and your mom was like, you're going to disgrace the family, but then you

[00:44:51] say learning how to suck with that.

[00:44:53] You could.

[00:44:54] Yeah.

[00:44:55] You factually saved the whole family.

[00:44:56] I would love to be a prisoner now.

[00:44:57] So it's just to start a podcast.

[00:44:59] Well, this is the most obnoxious guy in Auschwitz.

[00:45:03] I'm actually starting a podcast just immediately just fucking bayonetted through the skull.

[00:45:12] Well, well, ba ba ba.

[00:45:16] Dude, I've a you remember that I forget who did it, but there was somebody at a tweet that

[00:45:20] was like four years ago.

[00:45:22] I was like, yeah, sorry about your boyfriend's podcast.

[00:45:25] Remember that one?

[00:45:26] Yeah, there's the other one that's like, and then now all of those girls are like, Hey,

[00:45:31] so the patreon is up.

[00:45:33] This is, I know this is my son.

[00:45:36] Our fucking dicks.

[00:45:38] Hey, so damn, yeah, trying to get the patreon off the ground.

[00:45:43] Imagine how much they hate us.

[00:45:44] We want to do.

[00:45:45] Yeah.

[00:45:46] We are the guys they were mocking and we're rich as shit.

[00:45:48] We want to do another episode, but it's going to cost $30,000 before I'm done with, I know

[00:45:55] self care to do.

[00:46:00] Just truly trying to monetize reply guys.

[00:46:02] I've got a lot of yeah, I've got a lot of trauma from searching for tweets that hurt

[00:46:07] my feelings.

[00:46:09] Yeah, the other one is what's three white guys called that was everywhere.

[00:46:16] Podcasts, you have a podcast, bitch.

[00:46:20] It's not true also.

[00:46:21] Yeah, that's right.

[00:46:23] Take it back.

[00:46:24] Take it back.

[00:46:25] I'm mad.

[00:46:26] You said that.

[00:46:27] That's offensive.

[00:46:28] Fuck dude.

[00:46:29] Yeah, it's like they all hate capitalism, but at the same time, they're copying.

[00:46:36] That's true.

[00:46:37] Yeah.

[00:46:38] And I don't really understand the relation between those two things, but you're right.

[00:46:41] But you're right.

[00:46:42] Yeah.

[00:46:43] No, no, no, no.

[00:46:44] Happy this dick.

[00:46:46] How about that?

[00:46:47] Take it out.

[00:46:48] Trace it on tracing paper.

[00:46:51] We're making a little turkey out of it.

[00:46:55] Yeah, that's right.

[00:46:57] Start at ninth podcast, bitch.

[00:47:00] Go off on them, Adam.

[00:47:02] Keep going, man.

[00:47:03] Will you a coven of heckin socialist witches talking about?

[00:47:07] That's right.

[00:47:08] Talking about the WWE.

[00:47:09] You're just going to be really funny when in like six, seven years, none of these people

[00:47:15] are socialist anymore.

[00:47:17] And they're framing it in a way where they're like, yeah, you know, all of that just seems

[00:47:20] kind of dumb to get so like wound up and stuff.

[00:47:23] Oh, yeah.

[00:47:24] Go on me.

[00:47:25] Yeah, no, I, you know, I always kind of took it with a grain of salt.

[00:47:28] Mm hmm.

[00:47:29] You know, what will they be doing?

[00:47:30] They'll have real jobs and stuff.

[00:47:31] No, they'll just turn into fucking damage.

[00:47:33] They'll just be.

[00:47:34] Yeah.

[00:47:35] They'll just be fucking.

[00:47:36] They'll just do what boomers did after like the culture of the

[00:47:18] revolution.

[00:47:39] Yeah.

[00:47:40] Millennials and boomers are exactly the same.

[00:47:41] Oh, yeah.

[00:47:42] 100% the exact same group of people.

[00:47:44] Yeah.

[00:47:45] We're really doing it.

[00:47:46] We're really changing culture and then giving up 30 seconds later.

[00:47:50] What boomers didn't have boomers had Vietnam, right?

[00:47:55] Yeah, the fight.

[00:47:56] My dream is to become like John McCarthy.

[00:47:58] I think that guy's good.

[00:48:00] The compound.

[00:48:01] You've been talking about a compound.

[00:48:02] Matching shoulder tattoos.

[00:48:03] Well, just getting tattoos at 73 years old and smoking crack and doing heroin.

[00:48:08] Yeah.

[00:48:09] You're serious.

[00:48:10] Yeah.

[00:48:11] Just fucking revving it full speed into your grave.

[00:48:13] That absolutely rocks it.

[00:48:15] Did he claim to have fucked a blowhole of a whale?

[00:48:19] No, he tried to.

[00:48:20] Or he tried to.

[00:48:21] But it threw him off.

[00:48:23] Salute.

[00:48:24] What a real man.

[00:48:25] And the man is on every fucking computer.

[00:48:28] I know.

[00:48:29] You got to delete his shit, bitch.

[00:48:31] You know what I'm saying?

[00:48:32] You know that name.

[00:48:33] You know the man.

[00:48:34] They name the McDonald's coffee after him too.

[00:48:36] Yep.

[00:48:37] That's a big cafe.

[00:48:39] Whoa, for real?

[00:48:41] Yeah, imagine being that popular McDonald's.

[00:48:43] It's like we got a name Latte's after this guy.

[00:48:46] That rocks, dude.

[00:48:47] That McAfee shit.

[00:48:48] Have you ever gotten any of it?

[00:48:50] Yeah.

[00:48:51] Is it good?

[00:48:52] I've gotten like a coffee.

[00:48:53] Okay, that's not what I said.

[00:48:55] You mean, but it is McAfee's.

[00:48:56] Like the Latte and shit.

[00:48:57] It had, yeah, the fancy McDonald's.

[00:48:58] No, I never got it.

[00:49:00] But it's all like caramel's shit.

[00:49:02] Yeah.

[00:49:03] I wonder if it's any good.

[00:49:04] I'm sure it's probably not.

[00:49:06] Yeah, it's right in.

[00:49:07] We're going to have it right in.

[00:49:08] Yeah, let us know.

[00:49:09] We'll get opinions on it.

[00:49:10] One of you sick fucking freaks out there probably loves McAfee shit.

[00:49:13] Yeah.

[00:49:14] Oh, and everyone pointed out earlier, you were wrong about Siegfried and Roy.

[00:49:19] We were both wrong.

[00:49:20] I mean, I was just trying to be super-

[00:49:21] Both you asked what's wrong.

[00:49:23] I was right.

[00:49:24] It's another huge drop of the ball by me because I am from Vegas.

[00:49:27] That is fucking embarrassing.

[00:49:29] Yeah, it is.

[00:49:30] You're also gay like they are.

[00:49:32] What do you say?

[00:49:34] Yeah.

[00:49:35] That one got me good.

[00:49:36] I'm going to follow her in my game.

[00:49:37] Can you guys just decide?

[00:49:38] Me, me.

[00:49:39] They're the same thing.

[00:49:40] No, that's a very 1970s definition of what gay is.

[00:49:43] I'm a tiger.

[00:49:44] They also fuck kids.

[00:49:45] Come on.

[00:49:46] You have to do it.

[00:49:47] You're a excuse me.

[00:49:48] I'm kidding, but you are both.

[00:49:49] As a tiger, you have to excuse me for overestimating the contributions of my people.

[00:49:54] No, you identify as a tiger now?

[00:49:56] I am.

[00:49:57] What am I?

[00:49:58] I'm the antlers.

[00:49:59] A tiger with antlers.

[00:50:00] Well, you're a tiger with antlers, huh?

[00:50:01] That would be sick.

[00:50:02] That would be actually a good type.

[00:50:04] There's a jackalope, right?

[00:50:06] Is bunny.

[00:50:07] It's a bunny with antlers.

[00:50:08] With an edge.

[00:50:09] Yeah, that's cute.

[00:50:10] Yo, I saw a video of a Jaguar eating a crocodile.

[00:50:13] That's cool.

[00:50:14] That was fucking incredible.

[00:50:15] The Jaguar just beating up the crocodile.

[00:50:16] No, bro.

[00:50:17] This motherfucker.

[00:50:18] It dips into the water, comes out with a fucking crock in its fucking mouth.

[00:50:23] It was awesome.

[00:50:24] Big cats are great.

[00:50:25] Yeah.

[00:50:26] No one can fuck.

[00:50:27] That's what I would love, dude, is like my mansion with a pool, an indoor big marble

[00:50:33] pool.

[00:50:34] And I'm surrounded by a grotto.

[00:50:36] The grotto.

[00:50:37] Jaguars and naked black women are all chained up together.

[00:50:40] What?

[00:50:41] My friends.

[00:50:42] My friends.

[00:50:43] What was that?

[00:50:44] I'm sorry, Nick.

[00:50:45] What did you say you wanted?

[00:50:46] How did you start?

[00:50:47] My friend.

[00:50:48] I'm talking about a cool house.

[00:50:49] Why is everyone getting mad at me?

[00:50:50] We were all just leaving.

[00:50:52] We just put the mics down.

[00:51:02] My buddy's wife is doing Teach for America or something in some inner city school.

[00:51:06] She had a parent teacher conference.

[00:51:07] How about Bleach for America and they go around helping black kids like their skin?

[00:51:12] No.

[00:51:13] She had a parent teacher conference with a mom and she had a huge tattoo of a woman

[00:51:24] just being fucked by a black panther.

[00:51:27] That rules.

[00:51:28] She's like, I got it.

[00:51:29] I got it after seeing black panther.

[00:51:31] You know, by the end of my life.

[00:51:33] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:51:34] Yeah.

[00:51:35] That rules on her arm, huh?

[00:51:36] Yeah, on her arm.

[00:51:38] That fucking rocks.

[00:51:39] I would love that tattoo.

[00:51:40] Just beastie.

[00:51:41] I want that too on my back.

[00:51:44] Just enormous back.

[00:51:45] Huge.

[00:51:46] What's some good back pieces LeBron has chosen one written across his back.

[00:51:51] I don't want to hear that name right now.

[00:51:54] Who else has someone has wings?

[00:51:56] What would your back piece be?

[00:51:58] I did go ahead.

[00:51:59] Eight wings.

[00:52:00] Yeah, I think she had wings.

[00:52:02] That's tough.

[00:52:03] Maybe it was one.

[00:52:04] Just one?

[00:52:05] One wing?

[00:52:06] It was a shitty tattoo.

[00:52:07] Maybe it was like a bird or something.

[00:52:08] I just remember, yeah, it was under like fucking shoulder blade.

[00:52:12] Maybe it was two wings.

[00:52:13] I can't remember.

[00:52:14] It was more of a titty situation.

[00:52:17] He went there for the back.

[00:52:20] Yeah, not really there for the back.

[00:52:22] Interesting.

[00:52:23] I would get six million.

[00:52:24] Never forget probably.

[00:52:25] I'm like that.

[00:52:26] Cross your back.

[00:52:27] Pretty cool.

[00:52:28] Yeah.

[00:52:29] I'm like a psychic.

[00:52:30] All the cost bar code, but it says like, Leet 42069.

[00:52:34] Nice.

[00:52:35] Yeah.

[00:52:36] Is that the internet language?

[00:52:40] Yeah, Hacksaur Leet.

[00:52:42] Hell yeah.

[00:52:44] Do you speak Leet?

[00:52:47] That was the way kids that were into like, Trogdor shit.

[00:52:50] What's Trogdor?

[00:52:51] Those are some like flash animation.

[00:52:52] Oh, you're a home star runner, right?

[00:52:55] Trogdor was a joke for-

[00:52:56] Trogdor was like a dragon.

[00:52:58] But it was from home star runner.

[00:53:00] It's from the runner star runner.

[00:53:01] I think.

[00:53:02] Yeah.

[00:53:03] I never got home star runner.

[00:53:04] I thought it like-

[00:53:05] It was all flash.

[00:53:06] It was flash, but I never thought it was funny.

[00:53:07] And I also thought it was like, isn't that like clearly supposed to be somebody with

[00:53:09] Down syndrome?

[00:53:10] There's a-

[00:53:11] Like I thought home star was like just supposed to be someone with Down syndrome.

[00:53:15] You're making fun of it.

[00:53:16] We're starting to go.

[00:53:17] Yeah.

[00:53:18] I mean, I thought it was supposed to be literally someone with Down syndrome and look like it

[00:53:20] at Down syndrome.

[00:53:21] And I like said that to somebody and they were like, no, what are you talking about?

[00:53:25] It's just like, that's hilarious.

[00:53:26] Yeah.

[00:53:27] It's just like changed like words like good job and stuff.

[00:53:31] Is that a good job?

[00:53:32] A lot of Jomney's son sort of thing.

[00:53:34] Yeah.

[00:53:35] Is that J- the forerunner to Jomney's son?

[00:53:37] Yeah.

[00:53:38] He basically just ate.

[00:53:39] What I did like was you remember the rejected cartoon movie?

[00:53:42] No.

[00:53:43] That's a lot of that so random, you know, fucking bullshit.

[00:53:48] But I did remember liking that.

[00:53:50] Dude, I-

[00:53:51] I got no early internet culture, dude.

[00:53:54] I didn't get the internet until I was in fucking high school.

[00:53:57] We didn't get a computer to use.

[00:53:59] That's just all you had was the fridge.

[00:54:01] Yeah.

[00:54:02] Well, we didn't get a microwave till late in the game.

[00:54:05] And you learned how to use the stove young?

[00:54:07] Oh, yeah.

[00:54:08] I was water whipping on the fucking stove, dude.

[00:54:10] I was making popcorn stove top style.

[00:54:13] That's the best way to do it.

[00:54:14] Fuck with your boy.

[00:54:15] I don't think I've ever done that.

[00:54:17] We're like, Jiffy pop.

[00:54:18] Jiffy pop.

[00:54:19] But you can also just put it in a pot.

[00:54:21] You could just buy kernels.

[00:54:22] Yeah.

[00:54:23] Buy kernels.

[00:54:24] Buy with some ol-

[00:54:25] A little bit of ol.

[00:54:27] Some ol.

[00:54:28] Some ol-

[00:54:29] Some ol-

[00:54:30] You know what?

[00:54:32] The other thing with the-

[00:54:33] I know we just were not talking about the wire at all, but I just had ol like that and

[00:54:35] I thought about it.

[00:54:36] Not enough Baltimore white accents, but also Snoop is the only one that actually speaks

[00:54:41] like a black person from Baltimore.

[00:54:43] Yeah.

[00:54:44] Like, um, Doug.

[00:54:46] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:54:48] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:54:49] I think, like, I only watched that first episode, but I think the wire might be bad.

[00:54:54] Yeah, we talked about that.

[00:54:55] Somebody else reminded me of that scene where, like, they just, it's fucking bunk and McNulty

[00:55:00] and they're just saying fuck back and forth.

[00:55:02] Yeah, and people were like, this is the most incredible scene.

[00:55:04] It's stupid.

[00:55:05] Yeah, it's very dumb.

[00:55:06] It's fucking dumb.

[00:55:07] No, it's fucking dumb.

[00:55:08] It's figuring out it.

[00:55:09] It's stupid.

[00:55:10] I'm just saying fuck.

[00:55:11] No, I won't stand for this hating on the wire, dude.

[00:55:13] It's a good ass show.

[00:55:14] No, it's really not.

[00:55:15] It's slow, but it's good.

[00:55:16] I don't think it's bad, but I don't think it's as good as it is.

[00:55:18] And it ends beautifully.

[00:55:19] Let me put it this way.

[00:55:21] Uh, no, it doesn't end beautifully.

[00:55:23] The last season is a fucking crazy one.

[00:55:24] The last season sucks, but the last episode's good.

[00:55:26] You just had shot of McNulty on like-

[00:55:28] No, all of it.

[00:55:29] Everything goes bad in the last season.

[00:55:32] Spoiler.

[00:55:33] No, last season, listen, last season.

[00:55:35] Oh, yeah, he starts making-

[00:55:36] He makes up the murders.

[00:55:37] That sucks.

[00:55:38] That sucks.

[00:55:39] He fakes bites and shit and he does a weird-

[00:55:41] What happens that lady beat he fucks him and then he becomes a good guy again?

[00:55:45] I don't know.

[00:55:46] He gets a lot of push-

[00:55:47] But I did watch an episode of homicide life on the street after that.

[00:55:50] Homicide is still a great show.

[00:55:52] I don't mind the- Homicide is a better show than the one.

[00:55:54] I don't mind the new David Simon show, the porn one.

[00:55:57] What is it?

[00:55:58] It's with James Franco and it's not bad.

[00:56:01] I haven't seen it.

[00:56:02] I never saw Trume but I heard it was an absolute piece of shit.

[00:56:05] Cheekies.

[00:56:06] I heard it was cheeks.

[00:56:07] Yeah.

[00:56:08] It's about fucking marching bands, right?

[00:56:09] It's so funny how there's places that have some type of their-

[00:56:17] It's not like a part of their local culture that's clearly extremely gay.

[00:56:22] And they're like, yep, that's our thing.

[00:56:24] Love it.

[00:56:25] Like fucking do it Mardi Gras Cruz.

[00:56:28] That shit's stupid.

[00:56:29] What is a Mardi Gras Cruz?

[00:56:30] Like a bonabour?

[00:56:31] Like a crew.

[00:56:32] Oh, a crew.

[00:56:33] Yeah.

[00:56:34] Like having your squad.

[00:56:35] You all dress up.

[00:56:36] Yeah, you all dress up as a stupid thing.

[00:56:38] Mardi Gras stupid.

[00:56:39] It is stupid.

[00:56:40] New Orleans sucks.

[00:56:41] No.

[00:56:42] New Orleans school.

[00:56:43] Time out.

[00:56:44] Everything except New York is bad.

[00:56:45] No.

[00:56:46] I agree New York is good but New Orleans is borrowed.

[00:56:48] Now there's a fast.

[00:56:50] You would take Sanjano over Mardi Gras?

[00:56:52] That's real culture.

[00:56:53] Actually, you know what?

[00:56:54] Yes, I would.

[00:56:55] Fucking delicious food.

[00:56:56] That is true.

[00:56:57] Mardi Gras is like drunk and messy.

[00:56:59] You see titties though.

[00:57:01] And girls wear like wigs and fucked up makeup which I like.

[00:57:04] Yeah.

[00:57:05] I was on Bourbon Street the one time I went there and it wasn't Mardi Gras and it stressed

[00:57:08] me out.

[00:57:09] Just the American street sucks dick.

[00:57:11] New Orleans is cool dude.

[00:57:12] New Orleans is nice.

[00:57:13] It's a fun town.

[00:57:14] I mean you couldn't live there because it's like a party all the time but it's a fun place

[00:57:17] to get fucked up and eat a bunch of fried food and shit.

[00:57:20] Yeah.

[00:57:21] I'll take that shit.

[00:57:22] It's a nice little like going for a week.

[00:57:24] Visit.

[00:57:25] Me, me, me, George and my boy Josh went down there I think last year or two years ago

[00:57:32] and she had a nice time.

[00:57:33] Took acid, went to a pool and it turned out to be like, because I thought it was going

[00:57:37] to be near a beach.

[00:57:39] It's nowhere near any kind of water but they got a bunch of pools and shit.

[00:57:42] And then went to like a pool at like a fun hotel and I thought oh it'll be like a, it'll

[00:57:47] be like, but you got in and all the water left the ball.

[00:57:50] Yeah.

[00:57:51] Yes.

[00:57:52] Exactly.

[00:57:53] You did a cannonball and all the water.

[00:57:54] And they're like waves.

[00:57:57] But we did acid and went to this pool and then it became way too much.

[00:58:01] Like we thought it was going to be just a chill day.

[00:58:04] Everyone was just out that motherfucker.

[00:58:05] They were partying.

[00:58:06] Things were out and the swans, those inflatable pool swans.

[00:58:10] There was an inflatable pool swan.

[00:58:12] It was crazy.

[00:58:13] About the big pizza slice.

[00:58:14] That's fun, huh?

[00:58:15] You mean in DC?

[00:58:17] No, an inflatable pool.

[00:58:18] Oh, I thought you meant Jumbo slice.

[00:58:20] I thought we were talking about local things again.

[00:58:23] Yeah, I remember this trying to sober up before driving Jumbo slices.

[00:58:28] That would be my move.

[00:58:29] Yeah.

[00:58:30] I would drink like a good suggestion.

[00:58:31] Just drinking all night long and then having like a wall if I have a Jumbo slice.

[00:58:35] Yeah, I'm so good to drive.

[00:58:40] Salute to a man that I've never seen drunk drive without any fucking care in the world.

[00:58:47] It just was your plan to drunk drive.

[00:58:49] Like went into the day like, well, I'll go home.

[00:58:51] I'll get fucked up.

[00:58:52] I'll just drive drunk.

[00:58:53] I'll just drive drunk.

[00:58:54] I'll just drive drunk.

[00:58:55] It got to the point where I was like, yeah, no, he's just going to do that.

[00:58:58] Well, I never, well, that's not true.

[00:58:59] But I mean, for the most part, like, you know, if I had to drive any kind of significant

[00:59:04] distance, I wasn't doing it.

[00:59:06] And a lot of like the drunk driving I did, it was like, you know, from fucking Wonderland

[00:59:10] to Dana's house, you know, had a couple blocks, like five blocks.

[00:59:14] I'm never going over 15 miles per hour.

[00:59:16] Yeah.

[00:59:17] Yeah.

[00:59:18] No, but I just remember, I just remember being like, yeah, I'll just take my car manage

[00:59:20] while I follow you.

[00:59:23] Yeah.

[00:59:24] I mean, once you start doing that, she had it's like, yeah, yeah.

[00:59:29] Listen, you got out, brother.

[00:59:31] It's like, bugs didn't get a ease.

[00:59:33] Yeah.

[00:59:34] After being a, you never got pinched.

[00:59:36] You never, yeah.

[00:59:37] There was that time you almost got right that you got caught being drunk driving the wrong

[00:59:41] way on the line.

[00:59:42] I did.

[00:59:43] Yeah.

[00:59:44] There was that one time.

[00:59:45] And you just sweet talked your way out of it.

[00:59:46] Somehow.

[00:59:47] Somehow sucked the cops.

[00:59:48] Somehow the, I guess the one time white privilege was ever real.

[00:59:52] Yeah.

[00:59:53] For the most part, it isn't.

[00:59:54] It's sick.

[00:59:55] But the fact that I could talk my way out of it to you, why on the wrong side, right?

[00:59:59] Yeah.

[01:00:00] Wrong side of the road drunk shit.

[01:00:02] Me and my friends started driving onto an off ramp of the freeway.

[01:00:07] Oh, yeah.

[01:00:08] And then we realized that it was the off ramp and we were smoking a joint and both drunk.

[01:00:12] Hell yeah.

[01:00:13] And then the cop, we got pulled over immediately.

[01:00:16] We like, did a U-turn on an off ramp.

[01:00:18] It was like a mess.

[01:00:19] And then we got pulled over immediately.

[01:00:21] And then my friend just said to the cop, we were trying to find PF Chang's.

[01:00:27] And the cop was like, it's like a couple blocks away.

[01:00:30] Have a good day, boys.

[01:00:31] Yeah, that's it.

[01:00:32] Yeah, I remember that is off completely.

[01:00:34] The comedy club in Austin, they put comics up at this fucking hotel that was like four

[01:00:40] blocks, literally four blocks.

[01:00:42] But it was, you have to drive?

[01:00:44] Oh, yes.

[01:00:45] Yes, yes.

[01:00:46] Because then like that's like on a mall.

[01:00:48] Like strip the clubs there.

[01:00:49] And the club is right next to 183.

[01:00:51] Yes.

[01:00:52] And underneath 183, there's like a serve, like an access road that runs underneath 183.

[01:00:57] And then there's on ramps onto the highway.

[01:00:59] So there's like these big like medians.

[01:01:01] And it was like jug handle turn left things.

[01:01:04] Yeah, kind of that shit.

[01:01:05] Yeah, yeah.

[01:01:06] So it was like, I don't know if he's like one.

[01:01:10] So there's a comic.

[01:01:11] A comic.

[01:01:12] A comic.

[01:01:13] Funny guy, but like he was driving from Cap City to the hotel, which is like you could

[01:01:18] walk there in like 10 minutes.

[01:01:20] He was like, I'm just fucking drive my car over to the parking lots of this get towed

[01:01:24] overnight from the comedy club.

[01:01:26] And he like missed the turn and like made a U-turn.

[01:01:28] And while making a U-turn and the thing they pull him over and he got a fucking DUI.

[01:01:32] Oh my, I would drive him myself.

[01:01:35] Driving like it can't even be like a three minute drive.

[01:01:38] Yeah.

[01:01:39] Damn, that's what he gets for not exercising.

[01:01:42] And it's just like if women are allowed to get abortions, I think men should be allowed

[01:01:46] to drive drunk.

[01:01:47] Yeah, I think that would be allowed to drive drunk.

[01:01:49] But no, I mean, there's got to be something that we're allowed to get away with.

[01:01:54] Because yeah, it's not fair that they can get a.

[01:01:56] It is unfair.

[01:01:57] Whatever I hear of when it's about fucking equality or whatever, if women are allowed

[01:02:02] to get away with abortion, every time I hear like a girl, she's like, Oh yeah, when I was

[01:02:07] in college, I got in abortion, I'd be like, lucky, like, that sounds so fun.

[01:02:12] Yeah, damn.

[01:02:13] Yeah, that feels good to them.

[01:02:15] Something's going into their pussy.

[01:02:17] They probably get it.

[01:02:18] Yeah.

[01:02:19] They come a lot.

[01:02:20] They love the way that shit feels.

[01:02:22] Women love having needles and vacuum shoved up to their pussy.

[01:02:27] That's a good ass point, man.

[01:02:29] They just get away with it.

[01:02:31] No, yeah, you're right about that.

[01:02:35] We should be able to steal games from Target.

[01:02:38] Now we're talking.

[01:02:40] Yes.

[01:02:41] We should be able to shoplift any game we want from Target as many times as we're going

[01:02:46] to have.

[01:02:47] Okay.

[01:02:48] Now, how do they work?

[01:02:50] Are we going to count up all the abortions?

[01:02:52] I'm going to be the male AOC.

[01:02:53] I'm going to be the men's rights AOC.

[01:02:55] That's good, man.

[01:02:56] That takes Congress by storm.

[01:02:57] I would love a stuffed speech.

[01:02:58] I got a brain dead millennial that just says things and people clap at it.

[01:03:03] Dude, I would love a stump speech where it's like, and we are going to steal as many games

[01:03:09] from Target as women get abortion.

[01:03:13] There's just no one there.

[01:03:17] Yeah, no one's there.

[01:03:19] You're just yelling in a park.

[01:03:22] I would love, let's bring it up.

[01:03:23] I would love to get elected to Congress and then just tweet like, man, Jews fucking suck.

[01:03:28] I'm really sorry about the thing I said.

[01:03:34] I didn't mean to offend anybody.

[01:03:37] I just was making a general observation about Jews.

[01:03:40] You're like, listen, I love Israel still.

[01:03:45] Yeah.

[01:03:46] But Jews.

[01:03:47] Oh, I think Israel is tight, but only because it's a bunch of white people.

[01:03:49] I'm killing brown people.

[01:03:51] I'm all for white supremacy.

[01:03:53] Don't get me wrong.

[01:03:54] It's just unfortunate that it has to be Jews doing it.

[01:03:57] I mean, that is kind of the standard.

[01:03:59] I mean, that's the Richard Spencer.

[01:04:00] Richard Spencer, like 100%.

[01:04:05] It's just, it's funny.

[01:04:06] And also even be funny to arrive at that.

[01:04:08] Well, evangelicals, they think God's going to come back on a horse and shit in Israel.

[01:04:12] Yeah, because God's got to get, yeah, God's got to fucking destroy Israel and kill all

[01:04:16] the, yeah, kill all the rapture after they do a holy war.

[01:04:21] Yeah.

[01:04:22] That sounds cool.

[01:04:23] Mm-hmm.

[01:04:24] That would be fucking awesome.

[01:04:25] Dude, I would love to do it.

[01:04:26] When I was like getting kind of manic over the summer, I was thinking constantly about

[01:04:30] being killed in a holy war.

[01:04:34] I was obsessed with the idea.

[01:04:36] I would do it only if I saw God come down with like some thunderbolts and shit.

[01:04:40] Yeah.

[01:04:41] And he's got like fucking lightning in his eye.

[01:04:43] I get something in a Thor actually now that I think about it.

[01:04:46] Imagine how tight it would be.

[01:04:48] You ride a horse, you know, a thousand miles.

[01:04:52] And then you fucking, you just, like you see a bunch of Muslims on another hill.

[01:04:56] Just living their lives.

[01:04:57] Some guy just starts chanting shit and Latin.

[01:05:00] And then, you know, you just ride down.

[01:05:01] Well, I feel bad for the Crusaders is that metal didn't exist to listen.

[01:05:06] Yeah, dude.

[01:05:07] Yeah.

[01:05:08] Dude.

[01:05:09] At the time.

[01:05:10] Yeah.

[01:05:11] Yeah.

[01:05:12] Yeah.

[01:05:13] Yeah.

[01:05:14] Dude.

[01:05:15] Yeah.

[01:05:16] Dude.

[01:05:17] Yeah.

[01:05:18] Dude, you take one of their curved swords.

[01:05:19] Yeah.

[01:05:20] Use that shit.

[01:05:21] Just stabbing people to fucking.

[01:05:22] Uh huh.

[01:05:23] Did you feel like a pressure in your chest and you can inhale and you're, what the fuck

[01:05:30] in your eyes go red and you're just throwing up blood.

[01:05:33] I don't even know who stabbed you or what happened.

[01:05:36] You just collapsed.

[01:05:37] That's the end of your life.

[01:05:39] There's no heaven.

[01:05:40] You know a guy.

[01:05:41] Yeah.

[01:05:42] You know a guy rode all that way and immediately got killed the second he stepped off the horse.

[01:05:47] Yeah.

[01:05:48] Well, the ones with horses were rich guys.

[01:05:50] Yeah, I guess that's true.

[01:05:51] Who's the one that's, oh my God, we're going to get the Kemper back for the, for the Pope.

[01:05:56] They've got to stay bringing us in a wagon.

[01:05:59] They were looking for the Holy Grail.

[01:06:04] People used to walk so far.

[01:06:05] Marching.

[01:06:06] Yeah.

[01:06:07] But you know, like they'd go uncovered wagons and just walk by the alongside to go to the,

[01:06:12] to go to the, you know, California.

[01:06:14] Yeah.

[01:06:15] Yeah.

[01:06:16] And then you get people are saying Romans, one of their big technologies was roads.

[01:06:21] Yeah.

[01:06:22] Yeah.

[01:06:23] So what else would it be?

[01:06:24] Just over the fucking Roth, just hills and see.

[01:06:27] Yeah.

[01:06:28] Just traversing land.

[01:06:29] Fuck.

[01:06:30] Yeah.

[01:06:31] That's why that's why.

[01:06:32] So when Romans build roads as they land.

[01:06:33] Genghis Khan and all his boys are so cool is because they didn't have shit.

[01:06:37] Yeah.

[01:06:38] They're literally, they were good at horses.

[01:06:39] They were.

[01:06:40] Yeah, they were horsemen, but they didn't fucking over hills and no interest in making any kind

[01:06:44] of society.

[01:06:45] Yeah.

[01:06:46] Yeah.

[01:06:47] Yeah.

[01:06:48] Just killing and just walking, killing and raping.

[01:06:49] That's all that guy wanted to do.

[01:06:51] Yeah.

[01:06:52] Just pissed off about being half Chinese.

[01:06:56] How far west did they go?

[01:06:58] They were like Austria, weren't they?

[01:07:00] No.

[01:07:01] Austria?

[01:07:02] How far west did Genghis Khan go?

[01:07:03] Oh, I have no one.

[01:07:04] Genghis Khan fucked like the only thing I know about Genghis.

[01:07:06] Bitches and wooden shoes.

[01:07:08] I learned from the movie The Shadow.

[01:07:10] And that's it.

[01:07:11] Was it like Baldwin?

[01:07:13] Alec Baldwin.

[01:07:14] That's about Genghis Khan?

[01:07:15] No, but the bad guy in the movie is a descendant of Genghis Khan.

[01:07:18] Is it like every Chinese guy?

[01:07:20] Huh?

[01:07:21] Isn't like one out of every five Chinese guys, Genghis Khan's grandson?

[01:07:24] Well, one of them is, then all of them are.

[01:07:26] What does that mean?

[01:07:28] No, for real.

[01:07:29] He fucked so much in that region that his come, his DNA is in like one and eight eyes.

[01:07:35] I think that's just like hyperbole.

[01:07:38] But isn't that something like that?

[01:07:40] Is Genghis Khan the same guy?

[01:07:41] Is Kublakhan?

[01:07:42] Who is his son?

[01:07:44] Whoever that guy fucked counts too though.

[01:07:47] You know what I'm saying?

[01:07:49] It's his genes.

[01:07:51] I don't know, man.

[01:07:52] I don't know if that's true or if I just read it for a second somewhere.

[01:07:56] But it sounds cool to fuck that much.

[01:08:00] I mean, I guess it wasn't fucking, it was raping.

[01:08:02] So that isn't cool.

[01:08:04] But still, pretty interesting stuff if you think about it.

[01:08:10] Is it?

[01:08:12] I mean, yeah, kind of.

[01:08:14] Damn, I can't wait to eyeball that bulgogi marinade.

[01:08:18] I hope that comes out good.

[01:08:19] Mm, shit.

[01:08:21] He made it.

[01:08:22] What'd you put in it?

[01:08:23] It's brown sugar, sweet soy sauce, sesame oil, sesame seeds, ginger, garlic.

[01:08:29] Yes, yes, yes.

[01:08:31] Any onions?

[01:08:33] Red peppers, I didn't have any onions.

[01:08:36] You put that like guanjang-jong sauce on your machine?

[01:08:38] No, I'll put the gochujang on after it's done.

[01:08:41] Okay.

[01:08:42] But not in the marinade.

[01:08:43] Damn.

[01:08:44] It sounds pretty good.

[01:08:45] How do you cook it just on a pan or?

[01:08:46] Very carefully.

[01:08:47] Stove?

[01:08:48] Very carefully.

[01:08:49] He made it to like- Next question.

[01:08:53] He made it to Hungary.

[01:08:55] What's your answer?

[01:08:56] What are you the world champion of?

[01:08:59] Sucking dick.

[01:09:00] Next question.

[01:09:01] Due to gay land there, everybody.

[01:09:04] Simple, but on the guy over, you fuck him in his house.

[01:09:12] Next question.

[01:09:13] Well, I drank his cum, and then that gives me enough energy to go take a shit.

[01:09:22] Shit has come out of my ass.

[01:09:24] When I throw his cum back in his face, next question.

[01:09:28] Due to gay lander, everyone.

[01:09:31] You guys got to ask me questions.

[01:09:32] It's how this bit works.

[01:09:34] I'm glad Adam was on his phone.

[01:09:37] I just want to see how far Genghis Khan's empire went.

[01:09:41] I'm setting us up for a bid here to do gay, due to Friedland.

[01:09:48] What about immigration?

[01:09:50] Simple.

[01:09:51] We love men, but only he is the bathroom.

[01:09:53] Oh, he likes the bathroom too?

[01:09:55] Yeah.

[01:09:56] Like Joe?

[01:09:57] That way we force everybody out.

[01:10:00] All the immigrants come in, make them live in the closet.

[01:10:03] He forces all the guys out of the closet that have to have sex with me.

[01:10:08] Next question.

[01:10:10] Okay.

[01:10:11] What are your thoughts on the trade war with China?

[01:10:16] Trade war.

[01:10:17] I'd like some rough trade gay sex.

[01:10:19] That's the trade.

[01:10:23] Next question.

[01:10:25] Would you build a wall?

[01:10:27] That was literally the first question.

[01:10:28] You said, yeah, you're type of guy.

[01:10:30] I said, I asked.

[01:10:31] Where were you?

[01:10:32] I was in the hallway.

[01:10:33] What do you think about the crisis in Yemen?

[01:10:37] I'm thinking more about the crisis in Siemens.

[01:10:39] There's not enough of it.

[01:10:42] We're going to get more of Siemens.

[01:10:47] What about giving our bombs to Saudi Arabia?

[01:10:50] We should be giving them our phone number.

[01:10:52] We don't want to go on a date with them.

[01:10:59] Next question.

[01:11:00] What about gun control?

[01:11:02] What about putting a gun to my head and fucking me in my ass?

[01:11:08] Control me that way.

[01:11:10] Socksually.

[01:11:11] Socksually.

[01:11:12] Oh, so you're a sub.

[01:11:13] What does it sound like in?

[01:11:16] Socksually.

[01:11:17] I don't think you're short.

[01:11:19] It's enough of a...

[01:11:20] There isn't an over left.

[01:11:21] You're saying next question, so it's like phrases I've heard him say.

[01:11:25] Yeah, yeah.

[01:11:26] Next question.

[01:11:28] What's your favorite breakfast food?

[01:11:30] The next question.

[01:11:32] The goal of frosted milk.

[01:11:35] It's the frosting.

[01:11:36] It's calm.

[01:11:37] Milk.

[01:11:38] Guess what?

[01:11:39] It's also a calm.

[01:11:40] It's also a big bowl of calm.

[01:11:41] Do you have any dogs or cats?

[01:11:45] I've got two dogs.

[01:11:47] One named Sigfried, and then a broil.

[01:11:53] You know, I like to dress up like a tiger.

[01:11:55] And then I chain myself to their necks.

[01:11:57] They drag me around the apartment.

[01:11:59] Really?

[01:12:00] Yeah, well, my boyfriend video types.

[01:12:02] That's good.

[01:12:03] That's good.

[01:12:04] I rip my clothes off and drag me around.

[01:12:07] Let me beat off to it later.

[01:12:10] Next question.

[01:12:11] What do you make of this?

[01:12:13] What do you make of this Trump clown?

[01:12:17] Office.

[01:12:18] Oh, Trump clown.

[01:12:19] He's got all that makeup on his face.

[01:12:21] I'll tell you, I'd like to go into a booth and get sprayed all over my body, too.

[01:12:25] Because they like spray tanning.

[01:12:28] I would love to get sprayed by a man's penis.

[01:12:33] I'll tell you, if I was ever that orange, it's because I was covered in piss.

[01:12:39] Wow.

[01:12:40] And the guy hasn't drank a lot of water, I guess?

[01:12:43] Yeah, it's a guy, you know.

[01:12:45] He doesn't have enough vitamins later.

[01:12:47] And he's pissed all over my face.

[01:12:50] Next question.

[01:12:52] What do you do with the healthcare system?

[01:12:59] Yeah.

[01:13:00] Healthcare system.

[01:13:02] Here's what you do.

[01:13:03] You get everyone HIV positive.

[01:13:06] That's already covered by the government.

[01:13:08] Here in New York, if you have full blown-edge, you get a free apartment.

[01:13:12] Is that true?

[01:13:13] It's actually, yes.

[01:13:15] Wait, sort of.

[01:13:17] Yeah, no, there's guys who are HIV positive and there's like states, it's like, you know,

[01:13:22] like city support for people of HIV and they'll deliberately not take their medicine to get

[01:13:26] full blown-aids.

[01:13:27] Because once you're in AIDS territory, it's like, you can get a fucking 6,000 square foot

[01:13:32] apartment on the upper west side for like $50 a month.

[01:13:35] 6,000 square feet.

[01:13:36] Yeah.

[01:13:37] Next question.

[01:13:38] Are you one of those guys?

[01:13:42] Me?

[01:13:43] Yeah.

[01:13:44] How do you think I got this place?

[01:13:45] How do you think I got this place?

[01:13:47] Next question.

[01:13:48] How do you think they let me live here?

[01:13:51] Would you give me head?

[01:13:53] Sure.

[01:13:54] Next question.

[01:13:55] Nice.

[01:13:56] After the show.

[01:13:57] We're putting out big one.

[01:14:00] Next question.

[01:14:02] Due to gay lander, everyone.

[01:14:06] Yeah.

[01:14:07] Yeah.

[01:14:08] Yeah, doing impressions is pretty fun.

[01:14:11] That video I just list on fucking like Cleveland radio.

[01:14:14] Yeah.

[01:14:15] It's like, yeah, they do a character that's gay me.

[01:14:18] I'm not even sure I can say the name of the show.

[01:14:25] So look to Joe.

[01:14:26] I love that boy, man.

[01:14:28] I love that boy.

[01:14:30] Do you have like an Advil or something like my head?

[01:14:34] Uh-oh.

[01:14:35] What's wrong, baby?

[01:14:36] It's been the last like 30 minutes.

[01:14:37] Oh, does baby have a headache?

[01:14:39] Yeah.

[01:14:40] Does baby girl have a pussy ache?

[01:14:42] Yeah, my head is in the middle.

[01:14:44] Does her wagina hurt?

[01:14:47] Please call a wambulance.

[01:14:49] Wow, my vagina hurts.

[01:14:51] I'm a baby with a baby's pussy.

[01:14:57] I don't know.

[01:14:59] I'm the abgo for my baby pussy that hurts.

[01:15:03] Damn, man.

[01:15:04] Are you going to take that?

[01:15:06] I said I don't have a baby's pussy.

[01:15:08] I'm an adult's pussy.

[01:15:09] I'm a baby with an adult's pussy.

[01:15:12] Wow.

[01:15:13] God damn it.

[01:15:14] This baby's got a I'm a baby and I have a pussy.

[01:15:17] She seems the baby has an adult's pussy.

[01:15:20] Ma'am, it's a girl and she has an adult's pussy.

[01:15:23] Ma'am, I'm afraid to inform you your baby has an adult's pussy.

[01:15:28] Would then that pussy keep getting bigger?

[01:15:30] So they would be humongous when she was an adult?

[01:15:33] That's 100% correct.

[01:15:34] Now the world is...

[01:15:35] It's called Adam Friedland disease.

[01:15:36] It's called Adam Friedland disease.

[01:15:37] Next question.

[01:15:38] Judah.

[01:15:39] Judah's back?

[01:15:40] That's me.

[01:15:41] I thought we were friends.

[01:15:42] I thought we were friends.

[01:15:43] He's just fucking shitting on it.

[01:15:48] He doesn't even know Adam.

[01:15:53] He's just going to do it in spots.

[01:15:55] We have all of this.

[01:15:56] You've ever seen all this kind of Adam Friedland.

[01:15:58] Next question.

[01:15:59] We have almost the same last name, bro.

[01:16:01] Yeah.

[01:16:02] That's so true.

[01:16:03] I'm gay lander.

[01:16:04] You're gay lander.

[01:16:05] I am gay lander.

[01:16:06] What about a show of Highlander called Gaylander?

[01:16:10] No.

[01:16:11] Duncan McCloud?

[01:16:12] No.

[01:16:13] He's second guys off throughout history in different times.

[01:16:16] He never chucked in Monk Cloud.

[01:16:17] Maybe.

[01:16:18] How about that?

[01:16:19] Chuck and Huge Cloud.

[01:16:20] Chuck and McCloud.

[01:16:21] Could he cut your head off?

[01:16:22] Only one guy's allowed to vape.

[01:16:24] Yeah.

[01:16:25] He kills guys by making his dick go too deep down there.

[01:16:31] Crushing their wind pipes.

[01:16:33] Doesn't Highlander, he always cuts their head off?

[01:16:36] He does.

[01:16:37] And then the lightning comes down and he gets powerful.

[01:16:38] He's called the Quickening.

[01:16:39] It's not the lightning.

[01:16:40] You're right.

[01:16:41] What do you think of that?

[01:16:43] That's right.

[01:16:44] He's right.

[01:16:45] He's right.

[01:16:46] He's the Quickening.

[01:16:47] I am.

[01:16:48] I'm saying correct it.

[01:16:49] Is that the only way to kill a Highlander, huh?

[01:16:51] Yeah.

[01:16:52] They live forever.

[01:16:53] Couldn't you shoot him a bunch of times?

[01:16:54] No.

[01:16:55] You gotta cut the head off.

[01:16:56] Why don't you try out and go saxophone?

[01:16:58] Next question.

[01:16:59] Judah, please leave, man.

[01:17:01] The poor of the shows.

[01:17:02] All right.

[01:17:03] That's my time.

[01:17:04] Did you ever see this picture of him without his stuff on?

[01:17:07] Whoa.

[01:17:08] He's had in his glasses.

[01:17:10] That's way back in the day though, right?

[01:17:11] No, I think that's from two weeks ago.

[01:17:13] What?

[01:17:14] Yeah.

[01:17:15] He looks way better.

[01:17:16] Yeah.

[01:17:17] He looks cute.

[01:17:18] It's interesting that he chooses to do that to himself.

[01:17:20] Maybe he likes it, man.

[01:17:21] Maybe in his private life he doesn't wear that all that kind of stuff.

[01:17:23] I guess it is like a style.

[01:17:25] Yeah, he's got a look.

[01:17:27] Yeah.

[01:17:28] It's worked for him.

[01:17:29] That's a good look to just become a uniform guy.

[01:17:33] Get famous and then just have your look.

[01:17:35] I love, yeah.

[01:17:36] Never have to think about what you wear.

[01:17:37] It's awesome.

[01:17:38] That's what Steve Jobs did right.

[01:17:40] Yeah.

[01:17:41] That and the way he treated his daughter, his first daughter.

[01:17:44] Yeah.

[01:17:45] And the way he handled his cancer.

[01:17:46] Yeah.

[01:17:47] That's the three things he did right.

[01:17:49] Yeah.

[01:17:50] Eating fucking pomegranate seeds.

[01:17:53] The curious fucking pomegranate cancer and shit.

[01:17:57] Yeah.

[01:17:58] And he got that from what?

[01:17:59] He was like drinking his own cum for years.

[01:18:01] Yeah.

[01:18:02] Something like that.

[01:18:03] He was on an all-com diet.

[01:18:04] Yeah.

[01:18:05] Yeah.

[01:18:06] He was like his own cum, I think.

[01:18:09] That's how he got the idea for the year.

[01:18:10] It's a revolutionary cell phone.

[01:18:12] It's a music playing device and it's a digital camera.

[01:18:17] And it's all in one.

[01:18:19] It's having gay sex.

[01:18:20] Whoo.

[01:18:21] Didn't you do that bit?

[01:18:24] It's like Steve Jobs announcing the concept of gay sex.

[01:18:27] And fucking all the Apple fans just losing their mind.

[01:18:31] For $800 a month, you can fuck me in my ass.

[01:18:34] I will bend over and spread my cheeks.

[01:18:36] It's just his...

[01:18:37] He's like...

[01:18:38] The pristine, completely ceramic, bleached white asshole.

[01:18:42] Steve Jobs.

[01:18:43] Now, for sale.

[01:18:44] Oh, so he's selling his own ass.

[01:18:46] He's selling his own ass.

[01:18:47] Think about how what an Apple store looks like.

[01:18:50] And then just imagine his asshole version of that.

[01:18:53] It's really minimal.

[01:18:55] That would be awesome.

[01:18:57] Sleeced lines.

[01:19:00] Someone's crying because they lost all their child pornography.

[01:19:03] Yeah.

[01:19:04] It never gets viruses.

[01:19:07] Mm-hmm.

[01:19:09] That would be wonderful.

[01:19:12] I'm fucking hit.

[01:19:13] I'll be right back.

[01:19:14] What's wrong, Adam?

[01:19:15] You got something in your bathroom?

[01:19:18] Hey, Adam, does your baby pussy hurt?

[01:19:21] Yeah, I don't know.

[01:19:22] But I think I need to eat something because I'm getting fucking dizzy too.

[01:19:25] Alright, well, folks, that's the end of it.

[01:19:28] That's the end of it.

[01:19:29] I thought we were going to have some big riff at the end, but nobody really wants to do that.

[01:19:32] And I'm certainly out of ideas.

[01:19:36] I've certainly said all the things that I could think to say.

[01:19:42] Come see us in DC on March 30th.

[01:19:45] Stand up.

[01:19:46] Two different shows, a stand up show and a mother fucking podcast.

[01:19:50] March Barch.

[01:19:51] Stand up at eight, live pot of ten.

[01:19:54] Come get sucked off with Comptown.

[01:19:56] Sharch, Mark.

[01:19:57] Yeah, and if you are in Chicago, Milwaukee, or Clerks,

[01:20:01] Milwaukee, or Clerks Wisconsin, other dates on my Twitter account, the 20,

[01:20:07] what is it, the 20?

[01:20:10] Second Chicago 23rd, Milwaukee.

[01:20:12] We get before that.

[01:20:13] Go see Adam and Michael C.

[01:20:14] Clerks Wisconsin on Sunday.

[01:20:16] Yeah, fuck Adam.

[01:20:17] And his gigs.

[01:20:18] Fuck them.

[01:20:19] Fuck me.

[01:20:20] Fuck these shows.

[01:20:21] No, I'm trying to plug racines.

[01:20:22] Fuck these shows.

[01:20:23] I'm trying to plug racines.

[01:20:25] Fuck them.

[01:20:26] Someone just DM me that they can get his tickets to the auto show.

[01:20:28] The what show?

[01:20:29] Oh, at the Javits Center?

[01:20:30] Yeah, the auto show.

[01:20:31] Is it a press day ticket?

[01:20:33] I'll ask him.

[01:20:34] I was out when they have all the unveiling.

[01:20:36] Because anyone can just go to the auto show.

[01:20:39] It's not fucking, it costs like five dollars.

[01:20:41] Yeah.

[01:20:42] You just go in.

[01:20:43] But like, depressed days are the ones you want to go on.

[01:20:46] They do concept cars and stuff.

[01:20:47] They do concept cars the whole time, but press days that do cool shit.

[01:20:50] You know, that's where they have all the...

[01:20:52] Do they have girls with big tits standing next to them?

[01:20:54] No, not really.

[01:20:55] No.

[01:20:56] It's not the AVN Awards.

[01:20:57] Well, then no thanks.

[01:20:59] I took that video that guy's penis at the Toyota booth.

[01:21:02] What guy's penis?

[01:21:04] I kept zooming in on his penis.

[01:21:06] He was getting excited about Toyotas.

[01:21:09] I sent it to you guys.

[01:21:13] I don't remember.

[01:21:14] That was last year, man.

[01:21:15] Oh, I'm sorry.

[01:21:16] It was probably like two years ago now at this point.

[01:21:19] I guess you're right.

[01:21:20] I don't remember going...

[01:21:21] You got a bunch of free swag.

[01:21:22] You got like a Subaru backpack and stuff.

[01:21:24] I got Subaru bag.

[01:21:25] I got a fucking Jeep bag.

[01:21:27] Yeah, I got all sorts of people.

[01:21:28] I got so many bags.

[01:21:29] Yeah.

[01:21:30] They're all around the house.

[01:21:32] I love the auto show.

[01:21:34] It really is nice.

[01:21:35] I've never been to one in my life.

[01:21:36] Yeah.

[01:21:37] When's the first auto show you went to?

[01:21:39] When I was real little.

[01:21:40] That's why you love it too.

[01:21:41] Yeah.

[01:21:42] It's one of the only things you love.

[01:21:43] Yeah.

[01:21:44] The auto show, The Simpsons.

[01:21:46] Mm-hmm.

[01:21:47] Making fun of trans teenagers.

[01:21:49] Yeah, I would do that when I was in kindergarten.

[01:21:52] Yeah.

[01:21:53] Yeah.

[01:21:54] Just see...

[01:21:55] Yeah, you saw a man in a dress when you were young.

[01:21:57] What do you think about trans people?

[01:21:59] It's fucking disgusting.

[01:22:00] That's disgusting.

[01:22:01] Oh, wow.

[01:22:02] Dude, it's a dirt.

[01:22:03] You're a dirt.

[01:22:04] That's fucking gross to me.

[01:22:05] That's fucking gross to me.

[01:22:06] That's fucking gross to me.

[01:22:07] That'd be so funny.

[01:22:10] I feel like this is like, cause I'm...

[01:22:12] I mean, I'm friends with him, I guess.

[01:22:14] Yeah.

[01:22:15] I'm friends with him.

[01:22:16] Casualty.

[01:22:17] I just like, if it's not a good impression, then this isn't justified.

[01:22:20] Yeah, yeah.

[01:22:21] In my head, it sounds like him.

[01:22:23] It sounds just like him.

[01:22:24] Yeah.

[01:22:25] I don't know if I'm really there.

[01:22:28] It sounds enough when you add in the...

[01:22:31] An exquashron?

[01:22:32] Yeah, literally when you say next question, I definitely...

[01:22:35] I'm in.

[01:22:36] They're fucking disgusting.

[01:22:38] They're gross to me.

[01:22:39] That ought to do her, folks.

[01:22:46] Yeah, I'm off the B&H photo to get a better recorder to...

[01:22:49] For the show you've already heard.

[01:22:51] I can't wait to be...

[01:22:52] BAM Marghera tomorrow.

[01:22:54] Oh, sorry, dude.

[01:22:56] We don't have enough mics.

[01:22:58] You're not allowed to be on the show.

[01:22:59] No, there's plenty of mics.

[01:23:00] There's plenty of mics.

[01:23:01] In fact, I'm going to...

[01:23:02] If you were to be off the show, the one we already have would be fine.

[01:23:06] Uh-huh.

[01:23:07] But...

[01:23:08] Getting one to accommodate more people, but you're still not allowed to come do it.

[01:23:11] All right, well, I'll just follow you guys' dots on, find my friends, and then...

[01:23:16] Because you bragged about being friends with BAM Marghera...

[01:23:19] I did not say I was friends with him.

[01:23:21] You said, you said, we're...

[01:23:22] C.K.Y. Matt is the godfather of my firstborn child.

[01:23:26] You were so close.

[01:23:28] You were a poser, and you were posing.

[01:23:30] You are a poser.

[01:23:31] You are a poser, dude.

[01:23:32] And you are a poser, dude.

[01:23:33] We don't skateboard like me and Stobb.

[01:23:35] We all eat, dude.

[01:23:36] Me and Stobb stop.

[01:23:37] I love tearing up the tube.

[01:23:39] In fact, I'm going to close my eyes right now and invent tricks.

[01:23:42] Well, me too.

[01:23:44] I hope they're not stolen from me.

[01:23:46] I hope my cool skateboard tricks aren't stolen from me.

[01:23:49] Dude, I'm going to do some shit-nones you've been doing.

[01:23:51] Before Tony Hawk landed the 900, I used to sit and think about the 900.

[01:23:58] So you stole it from me?

[01:23:59] He stole it from me?

[01:24:00] It was your idea.

[01:24:01] I came up with the idea.

[01:24:03] I said, that would be cool if somebody did that trick, and then he took it from me.

[01:24:10] That's so fucked up.

[01:24:11] I know, that's one of the things me and BAM were going to talk about tomorrow.

[01:24:14] I'm going to ask him how much head he's gotten in a 24-hour time period.

[01:24:19] I don't have to be on the show, but I'll-

[01:24:21] Adam, can you chill out, man?

[01:24:23] Stop raising your voice.

[01:24:24] If you just let me be there.

[01:24:26] He's not around the car, dude.

[01:24:28] I'm going to ask him if he can let Calm Mirees open for him.

[01:24:31] Yes.

[01:24:32] On the rest of his tour.

[01:24:34] Dude, the Tom Myers BAM Marge Ehrator.

[01:24:36] I would follow it like fish, dude.

[01:24:38] We could do that.

[01:24:40] If we could-

[01:24:41] If we could-

[01:24:42] If we could make that tour happen.

[01:24:44] Then we retire.

[01:24:46] Yeah.

[01:24:47] There's nothing else.

[01:24:48] If I could be the Tom Myers-

[01:24:50] We made it.

[01:24:51] We created it.

[01:24:52] We were for Sario of the Tom Myers and BAM Marge Ehrator.

[01:24:55] That would be like, if you told us ten-

[01:24:57] We're fine.

[01:24:58] Then I'm like, you know what?

[01:24:59] Ten years ago.

[01:25:00] We're done.

[01:25:01] Go ahead.

[01:25:02] Have comedy, ladies.

[01:25:03] Yep.

[01:25:04] Yeah.

[01:25:05] You'll never produce anything this good.

[01:25:06] That would be like a fucking salvia hallucination eye of mine when I was 19.

[01:25:10] It would really complete the bod guy.

[01:25:13] That would-

[01:25:14] We wouldn't need to do anything after that.

[01:25:17] That would sort of put a nice little bow on it.

[01:25:19] So he did the podcast for three years.

[01:25:21] We made this-

[01:25:22] We forced all those girls to start their own podcast.

[01:25:25] Yeah.

[01:25:26] That makes a lot of money.

[01:25:27] And then we did the BAM Marge Ehrator Tom Myers comedy tour.

[01:25:30] You're welcome.

[01:25:32] Then we're able to leave in peace.

[01:25:35] I go off to whatever I'm going to do.

[01:25:37] Stop dies.

[01:25:38] No.

[01:25:39] Adam lives off his wife's podcast money until she gets tired of that.

[01:25:44] And then that ends.

[01:25:45] Oh, I think she probably is already.

[01:25:47] Yeah.

[01:25:48] A little long, fruitful life raising children and grandchildren on a meadow with a farm.

[01:25:53] Fresh berries.

[01:25:54] It's so funny that you think that's how your life's going to go.

[01:25:56] It will, dude.

[01:25:57] You're not going to get control of your weight.

[01:25:59] It's going to end tragically.

[01:26:00] You are such a hater.

[01:26:02] I'm not a hater.

[01:26:03] I care about you.

[01:26:04] No.

[01:26:05] You don't.

[01:26:06] You just want us- You say bad mean things to people to make them feel bad.

[01:26:09] It's not mean.

[01:26:10] It's not mean, dude.

[01:26:11] It's made you look.

[01:26:12] If I was sitting here-

[01:26:13] Look, if I was sitting here smoking five and a half packs of cigarettes a day, my eyes are

[01:26:19] yellow.

[01:26:20] I'm having tumors removed from my mouth.

[01:26:22] That was a random tumor that had nothing to do with my weight.

[01:26:25] And I was like, I'll stop smoking when I'm 45.

[01:26:30] That's not even what I'm saying.

[01:26:31] And worse, this has taken five years off my life.

[01:26:34] I'll live all the way to 65.

[01:26:36] Whatever, bro.

[01:26:37] I can just continue to smoke- You're a hateful little bitch.

[01:26:40] Cigarettes.

[01:26:41] I'm going to be bouncing my fucking children on my knee, my grandchildren on a meadow feet.

[01:26:48] You'd be lucky if you still have a fucking knee by whenever the time you think this is

[01:26:52] going to happen.

[01:26:53] You really think you're not a hater.

[01:26:54] I don't believe you're saying something true and good to your friend right now.

[01:26:59] I think it's like- No, I mean, if you want- If you honestly, I do think like- Yes, I

[01:27:08] mean, it's maybe harsh, but I do think you need to have some kind of fucking wake-up

[01:27:12] call.

[01:27:13] What changes have you made that are permanent changes?

[01:27:17] First of all, I'm not talking about some of the fucking podcasts.

[01:27:20] Why not?

[01:27:21] Why not?

[01:27:22] Because it's not- I'm not trying to fucking talk about it on the podcast.

[01:27:25] Not talking about what?

[01:27:26] Like a diet or whatever?

[01:27:28] It isn't funny.

[01:27:30] And also, it's like you're not helpful.

[01:27:32] Most of the podcast isn't funny.

[01:27:34] Yeah, we got a couple of good things in there.

[01:27:36] Yeah, whatever.

[01:27:39] The podcast is over at this point.

[01:27:40] I'm not trying to fucking have- This episode is- Yes.

[01:27:42] Okay.

[01:27:43] I'm fine with that too.

[01:27:44] I've had a fucking terrible- I mean, but like, you're not like-

[01:27:47] For 40 minutes.

[01:27:48] Like in no way is it like- We don't have to talk about it.

[01:27:51] Is it in no way there's like- There's no way to express any kind of like concern.

[01:27:56] Saying I'm going to die is not the way you- You don't know how to talk to people.

[01:28:00] That is your central problem.

[01:28:01] No, but I mean- No, hold on.

[01:28:02] And this is not the way to talk to people.

[01:28:03] I've known you for years and like, this isn't start with like, oh, you're like going to die.

[01:28:09] It's like, I've watched you lose teeth.

[01:28:14] You know, you've been- It has nothing to do with having a fucking- That has nothing to do with fucking being fat, dude, losing teeth.

[01:28:19] Are you kidding me?

[01:28:20] It's a completely different dental thing.

[01:28:22] You're also literally don't know how to fucking talk to anybody.

[01:28:24] It is not helpful the way you speak to me.

[01:28:26] And you're not helpful.

[01:28:28] You're not fucking supportive in any way.

[01:28:30] What's helpful?

[01:28:31] Sometimes you're a mean piece of shit and telling them I'm going to fucking die over and over again is exactly that.

[01:28:36] And what's like, what is supportive then?

[01:28:39] Just fucking- What we're doing now, having a schedule so I can fucking plan my life and go to the gym and fucking eat well, that's supportive.

[01:28:46] The podcast is stressful before.

[01:28:47] So what's- What is the correct way to like express concern?

[01:28:51] If it's a problem then where it's like, my tone is wrong.

[01:28:54] I mean, like, sure, I can easily change that or address it.

[01:28:58] Your tone is wrong all the time.

[01:29:01] That's your personality.

[01:29:02] I still think it's coming from a place of love though.

[01:29:04] It's not like- It doesn't matter if it's going from a place of-

[01:29:06] Listen, we're not- I don't want this on a podcast.

[01:29:08] He's not trying to be a dick.

[01:29:09] We can just stop fucking having this.

[01:29:10] But it's like- No, I mean, there's people that like, also are like, they care about you, they listen to the show.

[01:29:16] I don't- I mean, it's like not- I don't show-

[01:29:18] The show will never help me lose weight.

[01:29:20] The show is a fucking job.

[01:29:22] The only thing the show will do is get people to mock my weight.

[01:29:25] It's not going to be fucking helpful.

[01:29:27] It's fine.

[01:29:28] I don't give a fuck, but I am- I am fucking- I have made a concerted effort.

[01:29:31] The last year of my life, I was getting my fucking shit together for real, and then I hurt my fucking foot,

[01:29:35] and the last year has been a fucking incredibly unstable year for me.

[01:29:39] I'm not even talking to Mike anymore, but it's like, that's been a horrible fucking year.

[01:29:44] I had a fucking- I fucking hurt my foot.

[01:29:46] I was coming.

[01:29:47] I had a fucking fight with my dad.

[01:29:48] Like, all this shit has been horrible.

[01:29:50] It's been unstable.

[01:29:51] I'm finally gonna-