[00:00:00] Sure welcome to come town premium

[00:00:03] Where do we have phone sex? We listen to us have phone sex

[00:00:08] Well guys, I'll be honest with you. I I read a lot of your feedback and

[00:00:13] You're right. It was time for me to do some soul searching

[00:00:16] So I spent the last week

[00:00:18] living with a black family

[00:00:21] Against their wishes

[00:00:23] Well, you kind of just broke in there broken gun drawn

[00:00:27] I was like I'm trying not to be

[00:00:34] I'm trying not to be raised you just spoken grand Torina voice. Yeah, cook me grits

[00:00:40] Greens and grits I want to have your traditional try grits. They're like Caribbean

[00:00:48] These bananas out of here these little bananas why you cooking your bananas

[00:00:53] What are you googers doing?

[00:00:59] What are you island googers doing?

[00:01:01] Every type of ethnicities a different actually just a different type of

[00:01:05] Asian slayer. Yeah. Yeah, it's got a milk in it. I'm a no milk bitch, dude

[00:01:10] Yeah, yeah with the ice coffee. You know what fuck fuck burly dude. This coffee sucks. It's not that good

[00:01:16] It's you know it's bitter as my dick. It's the coffee shop in this neighborhood

[00:01:20] They they just opened up a new coffee shop by my shit. That one's a good coffee shop

[00:01:25] I know you guys know what we had a weird what happened in there Nick when we went to that coffee shop

[00:01:29] Which coffee shop the one by me the one by stuff something happened, right?

[00:01:34] No, we just went in it was like too expensive or something

[00:01:37] Maybe that was it. Yeah, we're what with prices like these that's to you. That's a big problem

[00:01:43] No, you you like something traumatic something traumatic. He's like we only do pour over

[00:01:48] Oh, that's right. That's what they didn't have drip. Don't have to yeah, we don't know

[00:01:53] drip coffee

[00:01:56] Yeah, you broke motherfuckers in your drip coffee, dude. I'm out here getting oat milk lattes ice

[00:02:02] Showed milk. No. Yes. No. Yes. Oh

[00:02:05] The most embarrassing thing about when I got punched in the face in Williamsburg was I was I had a matcha latte

[00:02:13] Macha

[00:02:14] Yeah, they matcha matcha man

[00:02:16] Macha matcha man. I want to be a

[00:02:20] Macha latte man. Are you going slimer? I'm drawing slimmer

[00:02:25] Nick has an iPad and he got a

[00:02:28] Apple pencil he's gonna be draw an apple pencil not an eye pencil. He's called an apple pencil

[00:02:33] So right now we're drawing slimer. Okay. He's being very racist. No

[00:02:40] Don't say those things

[00:02:42] Don't say that kind of stuff slimmer. Yeah

[00:02:48] They're also ghosts. There goes to

[00:02:51] He's just talking to you

[00:02:58] But racist drawings. Yeah, yeah, beloved figures, but they say Elmo

[00:03:04] Elmo don't say that about the blue muppets. I was on the train one time and actually I did do an Elmo cartoon

[00:03:11] I did a couple years ago his eyes pussies. Yeah, sure. There we go

[00:03:17] Print this out and put on the fridge

[00:03:22] I did I did a Shawshank redemption, but it's it's Sesame Street

[00:03:28] almost raping

[00:03:30] Andy do frame. Oh, Andy was still a man. He's still like a

[00:03:34] That's like human. Yeah. Yeah, Elmo is the prison. He's one of the sisters and Grover Grover is red

[00:03:43] Yeah

[00:03:44] Grover's red and and he's like why they call you that he's like shut up bitch

[00:03:53] The first time I saw Andy I

[00:03:56] We know anyways tries to warn

[00:03:58] The joke is that Elmo rape somebody says you're an Elmo's well. Oh, yeah

[00:04:07] Damn that would be something menacing to hear yeah, we're getting your ass fucked by a fuzzy red little dick by a three-year-old

[00:04:14] He's three easy three. He's four three or four. Yeah, perpetually. What does his cock look like Elmo? Look his arms

[00:04:21] Is there a red blue

[00:04:23] Is there a force in the street you do muppets have foreskin damn like that like the crypts like the blood

[00:04:28] The bloods. Yeah, you know, it's like what would you do if you were a blood or something? He's a red bright bright

[00:04:34] Bam

[00:04:36] Bam right

[00:04:39] We really should be safe man. Yeah, he's he was gonna be in the city today here offered to be here

[00:04:45] Oh, I forgot we're recording we fucked up. We should make him walk here like in making the band

[00:04:54] Making the band it was a reality show in MTV where did he was trying to make a rap super

[00:04:59] Brothers ness ness and babes ness was fat chopper chopper. Yes had big big lips

[00:05:07] And then the big and then of course did he said I want to I want a piece of cheesecake

[00:05:11] Well, oh no, he made them walk to juniors. Oh, he made them. He was in midtown as an office

[00:05:17] That's right. And he made them walk to juniors and then walk back with a cheesecake for him

[00:05:22] Was she wasn't cheesecake juniors is okay?

[00:05:25] I I've actually never had it since I moved here. Where's the first juniors cuz now they're

[00:05:30] downtown Brooklyn

[00:05:32] Cuz now they're all like they feel like fake restaurants. I'm never I didn't know this one. There's one in the

[00:05:37] Square yeah, exactly

[00:05:39] There's one in Times Square and there's another one. I think there's one next to Caroline's right

[00:05:43] Yeah, there's one next to Caroline's I think there's another one on like forty firsts and like on further on the east side or something

[00:05:50] I'm gonna say somewhere around there Ryan bronze that bad dude. I like them cuz he's a cheater and Jewish

[00:05:55] Is he a Jewish cheater? He's a Jewish steroid user nice much like myself. Yeah, you should start using steroids Adam

[00:06:01] Just to get your cock to get out of just to have the confidence to stand up for myself

[00:06:06] No just to use the roid rage to be excuse me ma'am to get your dick to be that is your job

[00:06:13] Actually using wheelchairs. Whoa is that a Jordan catchers plate? Yeah

[00:06:18] What yada air Molina yada is fucking God or fucking Jordan branded and everything me pads

[00:06:24] Yeah, that's what your bitch used to suck me off Jordan brand knee pads

[00:06:28] Should I start using wheelchairs wheelchairs? Yeah to preserve your legs for lifting no to

[00:06:35] Garner sympathy from people I would get it to be excuse me. Do you have a military discount? I would get a wheelchair if it was

[00:06:43] Like like if I could it was I didn't have to wheel myself. I would love to you

[00:06:49] And then just blatantly steal valor no one's gonna call me on it because I'm already in a wheelchair

[00:06:53] Yeah, literally they know I'm also pretending whoa double stolen valor. Yeah, it's like well

[00:06:59] I was a tank guy and no I was actually disabled before that

[00:07:02] They just put me in the tank and then it spins around the tank connects to my spine

[00:07:08] And it becomes an extension of my body I was an experimental

[00:07:16] Just lie

[00:07:18] We think your shot of like yeah, basically guys like me like oh, yeah, you got a cousin that's a marine

[00:07:26] Basically guys in my troop. We called them pussy

[00:07:29] No offense, but that was just sort of our nickname for Marines

[00:07:33] the pussies of the army because

[00:07:35] What we did as super soldiers

[00:07:40] Super yeah wings

[00:07:44] Wheeling myself up to people's tables of Buffalo Wild Wings

[00:07:49] My head barely clears the table seated in the wheelchair everyone's on barstools

[00:07:56] Yeah, basically we were in oh, okay. Yeah, I'll see you guys later. I

[00:08:03] Didn't realize it was if this is a private event

[00:08:07] I realized you guys were having a private event at your table. Just a veteran here

[00:08:11] Sorry, just protecting your freedom to just going around

[00:08:14] Excuse me ma'am. I overheard what you said about the military and I just want to let you know that it was guys like me that

[00:08:19] protected your ability to say that

[00:08:21] She's like no, okay, I said

[00:08:29] Just riding people over people's feet

[00:08:32] Just all the scratching your knees like

[00:08:36] old bed wearing like fucking Navy battleship hats

[00:08:42] Old hail timer sorry, but I protected your fucking freedom you faggot

[00:08:46] It would be cool to get tank treads for your wheelchair that would be sick and like a Bowser shell on the back

[00:08:58] Yeah, we were talking about Nause the other one the other day he thought being handicapped was already as gay as it could get

[00:09:07] Meet the Mario Kart Bowser wheelchair

[00:09:11] Dude, I love that sounds awesome. Actually. Yeah, I would roll around like Bowser

[00:09:14] You should you should make that your style now as Bowser. Yeah, I'm Bowser. You should grow out one little hair

[00:09:18] You have left and died on a red. Yeah

[00:09:21] I'm getting plugs and getting a fucking orange fucking shock of Bowser hair

[00:09:26] I'm gonna be like that lizard guy from Austin

[00:09:29] Make my face with a tongue. Yeah. Oh, you know him as Eric. Yeah, I think everyone else knows him as the lizard

[00:09:35] Well, he would know I mean I know him personally. Yeah for Boston. Yeah. Yeah was did he do comedy or yeah, you do open mike?

[00:09:46] Like a bad joke writer, but it's like you already did you already did something you did a man

[00:09:52] Yeah, it's impossible to walk this one you committed. Yeah now

[00:09:55] There's no I haven't told the story, but I delivered a pizza to him once and he had glasses on and

[00:10:00] Like I mean, it's Austin and he answered door and he had like no recognition of me

[00:10:04] Mm-hmm, and so I was like

[00:10:08] You know, I'm like is it possible that there's two

[00:10:11] Guys in this town

[00:10:14] Lizard man. Yeah, what's this an ad for Chinese bowling? Yeah. Oh, no, that's the kind of shit

[00:10:19] I like that's a fat Chinese guy and he's guy about to fuck a woman

[00:10:23] I didn't have the energy to do it

[00:10:25] I was planning on looking for a local restaurants or not local restaurants

[00:10:30] You'd have to find one in like Virginia or something a restaurant that's been around since the 50s

[00:10:36] It'd take a while to find one, but you call them up as like an old black guy. It's like

[00:10:40] I met my wife then I want to have our anniversary dinner, you know, it's like so I would like to reserve

[00:10:47] Table of two, you know, but

[00:10:50] Do you know where the sign was the where this is going? I think so

[00:10:53] Anyways, we met back in what some people refer to as the good old days and his request is that they segregate

[00:11:09] It's like how would you I'm trying to recreate the most beautiful

[00:11:13] If you could have a watch out spitting her face

[00:11:16] I'm not like that. That's two over the thought that would give them the tell. They're like, all right. You think they wouldn't you think they would believe you?

[00:11:23] I think I could pull it off. Yeah, really? Yeah. I mean the thing is you gotta like

[00:11:29] You gotta like not make the request itself, you know, they think you gotta like put the emphasis on something else

[00:11:35] Right, you gotta lead them to the river. Yeah, you can't make them drink. Yeah, I'm so glad I got you on the phone man

[00:11:41] I'd last I had to call best by the other day and it just yeah

[00:11:46] Jerk me around, you know, just you you have to humanize the character sure, you know, especially old people everyone has patience for old people

[00:11:55] So that's true. Yeah

[00:11:57] Anyway, let's call one up. You put on the Dodgers

[00:12:01] You can you got MLB TV. Yeah, I don't know where the remote is. It's right here

[00:12:05] Fuck the Dodgers and fuck baseball, dude. I just gotta forget about LeBron real quick. So look I'll go to a game

[00:12:13] I'll drink one of these line and coogles that they're advertising. Yeah, and I'll eat a brought word

[00:12:17] That's a Milwaukee once again. I like what you've done. I'm like trying to remember if I've ever been to Milwaukee

[00:12:24] Because I instinctually said I don't like Milwaukee. Yeah

[00:12:28] Have you there's no club there is there the comedy getting a club what we're about to get one

[00:12:33] I think an improv. Oh, they said they don't have a club though. Yeah

[00:12:38] Madison has the club right right, which is apparently a really good club and that's that's what common state

[00:12:44] Yeah, that's a really good club everyone talks about it. Yeah

[00:12:47] Kurt Kurt said it was

[00:12:49] Well, maybe he didn't say it was bad

[00:12:51] There's always this club said like everybody loves and then one person you you think like is good

[00:12:56] It's like fuck that place. Yeah. Yeah, that's usually I think if everybody's like this place is good. It means that it's bad

[00:13:02] Damn dude. That's crazy of you

[00:13:08] Yeah, you're a fuga you're a

[00:13:14] Fuck guysy capital wait, did somebody describe him?

[00:13:18] They know beta describe he described him. He said the words that fugazi capitalist. He's like fugazi were

[00:13:24] Insane dude. Yeah, what if he's just pretending to be Italian now?

[00:13:27] I'm what you call a fugazi

[00:13:34] Cuz fugazi's whole thing was you weren't allowed to charge more than like five dollars or ten dollars is right. He is a fake. Yeah

[00:13:43] Yeah, we're real punks here

[00:13:45] Dude, I was in I was in a no no effects cover band dude. I'm gonna be a

[00:13:49] Dude, I've just have Liberty spikes before you went balls. That's why I went bald. Yeah much industrial strength gel

[00:13:57] Glued I'm in a band called minor threat, but it's implied that I am a threat to two miners

[00:14:07] Bad dicks yeah, mm-hmm

[00:14:09] Then it's like instead of lightning striking the capital. It's lightning striking my dick. You're a little bit. It's still broken

[00:14:20] That is such a good logo. Yeah, what the bad brains logo the lightning and the capital building. Oh, yeah classic

[00:14:29] bad brains

[00:14:30] That's an original Adam Friedland thought

[00:14:32] Oh, yeah, we got Hyunjin Ryu on the map. I love a fat

[00:14:39] Yeah, they're all of them the only nice part about baseball is fat pitchers. I love that that shit rules

[00:14:46] Remember David Wells. I was just gonna talk about David Wells. What are my favorite man was fat. He was fat as shit

[00:14:52] What are those sports on steroids and fat with being fat still being really fat? Yeah, sumo

[00:14:58] Oh, oh guys aren't I guess I guess under the fat. Yeah, they got big traps

[00:15:06] Certainly not soccer that's out. So you know be so funny

[00:15:10] Although Ronaldo when he was getting for the first Ronaldo before Christian

[00:15:14] I mean just like an ob sky, but they were the first one

[00:15:18] Yeah, it's very don't it got fat at the end and he was doing blow which is like amazing that rules

[00:15:24] It's so sick. Well, yes Ronaldo would just like sit right outside the penalty box and be fat and score goals

[00:15:30] Yeah, you just poach. Yeah. Yeah, I would listen. I was a fat soccer player

[00:15:35] Yeah, it was a funny sight when people when I played high school football or right before that coach gave the kid porn

[00:15:41] Have I told this story? I think it would be the funniest to see my high school probably a fat

[00:15:46] Fat formula one driver

[00:15:48] I mean you would lose right

[00:15:51] It's you're in the car the car is doing most of the work

[00:15:54] I mean the car generates enough that it was horsepower that that 30 extra pounds wouldn't matter

[00:15:59] I mean even 200 well now. I think it yeah, maybe what if there's a formula guy

[00:16:04] That's like shaving his legs and pubes cuz he doesn't want the extra weight

[00:16:07] I don't you know what I don't actually know cuz there's like more like turns and shit go-kart racing

[00:16:12] It would definitely make a difference would it oh absolutely. I've been robbed in go-karts because I'm fatish

[00:16:17] No, if you're if you listen if you're racing a fat person you should have to have sandbags or some shit or like

[00:16:25] Waits or something. Yeah, you know what? Yes, put me on shrill season two. Let me let me fuck

[00:16:32] I'm serious dude. This is a real fucking civil rights issue. We get go-karts. Yeah, let's go. Yeah, we should go go-kart racing. I

[00:16:40] Wanted to listen you guys have a gay I wanted to do the Mario Kart go-karts in Japan. You guys did they have Mario Kart?

[00:16:47] That's not racing. It's a fucking tour. I don't care. It would have been cool

[00:16:51] No, those people were waving at me at one point. It was like I don't stop

[00:16:56] Stop that

[00:16:58] Well, it would definitely make a difference I think if you were a chef, but it would be funny to see him

[00:17:04] Fatly try and get out of the car. Yeah

[00:17:06] There's been fat basketball players that just come in for like, you know, oh butter being the boxer

[00:17:14] That guy was cool that water bottle maybe could work. No, you're not buoyant

[00:17:20] Butterbean did what tough man? He was a tough man guy, right? We need to box. It's a boxer

[00:17:25] It would just tough man's a boxing competition. Oh, is it yeah? It was like a way for like guys it

[00:17:31] It was like do you like fighting in jail?

[00:17:33] Here's your chance to be a professional boxer. Oh weightlifting

[00:17:40] Yeah, it doesn't really can and you don't think that's your favorite sport. I thought what we're talking about is comedic effect for being a

[00:17:46] Fat guy. It's also like it doesn't looks right. It really doesn't fucking count

[00:17:50] I mean, yeah, it's like two distinct movements, right?

[00:17:55] Like I mean, yeah, it requires a lot of strength, but it's like oh arm wrestling. Yeah, yeah, you don't have to move much

[00:18:01] a

[00:18:02] Fat gymnast would be great

[00:18:07] Like in the what's that word they make the frat

[00:18:11] What's that movie old school old school? Yeah, they made that fat guy do gymnastics

[00:18:17] This is a ribbon I think you did

[00:18:20] Gymnastics, it's just not gymnastics that would be great to see a fat person the ribbon one

[00:18:26] Yeah, the ribbon the ring just grew by the foot and he eats it at the end, huh? Yeah

[00:18:30] The rings is too hard the devil the devil sticks you have to be too strong for rings. Oh, yeah

[00:18:36] Yeah, I remember some girl in my like third grade class won some like comp local competition for

[00:18:42] Or like maybe like a regional thing for rhythmic gymnastics

[00:18:46] Nobody knew what it was but like they made an announcement and claset teacher was like and fucking Claire won this thing

[00:18:51] And then like either they showed us what it was like anybody can do that

[00:18:57] Like

[00:19:04] Your eyes and twirl a ribbon. Yeah, that sucks fucking little baton

[00:19:11] Garbage, yeah, that's not real fuck that. Yeah, it's not real meanwhile

[00:19:15] I was doing cool shit like making the biggest paper airplane in the world

[00:19:20] Taping several sheets of construction paper

[00:19:23] That's cool. I made a pretty big guy damn paper

[00:19:28] When I was in like third grade I had like like not like poster board

[00:19:33] But definitely like two foot by like one and a half foot

[00:19:35] Mm-hmm the same like kind of ask check on the roof of the school and throw it off

[00:19:39] No, I did consider doing that that would have been that would have been why it's considered holding on because I do I do

[00:19:46] Yeah, it says it says

[00:19:49] Kill the principal

[00:19:51] No, I would not the regular kind of paper airplane. I do the one they got that like the hanger on the bottom

[00:19:57] Uh-huh. Yeah, so like the half-octagon. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna giant one of those

[00:20:03] I could not I could not for the life of me make anything. I can I make a paper airplane. That's not surprising

[00:20:08] I like I cannot make a fucking I couldn't do the thing where Nick

[00:20:13] Didn't you say you were gonna get into origami as an adult? He's like no

[00:20:18] He tried but he didn't have the discipline. He didn't have the Asian discipline. Yeah and

[00:20:24] Bonsai I guess not sure I used to do origami and I is very difficult

[00:20:29] It's but then bonsai people emailed me after I started that and they were like

[00:20:33] No one does it from seeds. You just go buy a bonsai tree. Oh, really and take care of it

[00:20:39] Because those trees they died and I mean I didn't fuck anything up

[00:20:43] Wait, no one does it for seeds?

[00:20:45] I mean maybe Japanese people from a million years ago

[00:20:55] Business called his cocks and it looks like business up breasted men are giving testimonials the

[00:21:03] Encourage courage. What does that even mean? It's definitely a boner pill company. Nothing is real anymore

[00:21:08] It can't be a boat. That's two on the nose

[00:21:10] No, there's no like real businesses anymore. I've noticed. Yeah, everything's a

[00:21:16] It's just about making people feel better about its business insurance

[00:21:20] I hate that shit advertising used to be about like making you feel bad what you were

[00:21:26] Yeah, and then you would feel good when you bought the products now you're supposed to already feel good about yourself

[00:21:32] Are you I don't mm-hmm?

[00:21:34] I don't feel good about myself, and I know I don't want to go out and get air pods because I'm not a loud black woman

[00:21:43] You know or a dancer I'm not a day. I don't dance to you too. No

[00:21:54] Wait until it's a little bit warmer out. I want to get that

[00:21:58] It was close the dick was

[00:22:00] 52 I walked the Sun's cock was tickling

[00:22:06] The man

[00:22:10] To go to the real post office. Yeah

[00:22:17] I'm fucking yelled dude. I've had them they lost

[00:22:20] I wasn't trying to trigger you I know they've lost

[00:22:24] It is funny to go to Manhattan to do the biggest object

[00:22:30] I'm not the one who's triggered you're the one that was crying when you're checked it and show up. I didn't cry

[00:22:35] So it was actually your mail that got lost

[00:22:39] Did you cry at him no he's making something back now that you said that maybe I should have charged you a stop payment fee

[00:22:45] You should have charged you were fault you should have charged some of those

[00:22:55] Damn Nick really doesn't like the post office. He hates it. You know I mean

[00:22:59] I think Samsung com is going out of business by the way. Are they I think I heard that maybe I'm wrong Wow

[00:23:04] Marin doesn't have the pulley used to what he has to kill himself

[00:23:08] I'm funny with that's in his contract listen mark will be initial investors

[00:23:13] These fucking fucks making me fucking kill myself

[00:23:17] Self yeah, you probably either made it up or stole it from somebody what do you mean stole like a thing that you heard?

[00:23:37] Should I start doing downs old Trump on stage as a character?

[00:23:40] Mmm, I don't get a hat that's like I make America great. I don't have a little propeller on top

[00:23:46] That would be listen the visuals very funny

[00:23:49] Yeah, gay Trump was funny when you did that on the pot no, but I do like

[00:23:54] The downs old Trump you go on stage you do like that could be like my penis CK. Yeah

[00:24:00] like a down's old Trump

[00:24:02] And he's like you suffered a trauma like

[00:24:05] So no guy asked me that day on you Donald Trump. I'm like hold on a second. I can't believe you confused me for that

[00:24:13] Retire

[00:24:15] Then they wouldn't know what to do. Yeah, right because you're in something different

[00:24:22] Right I bet I could get on Colbert doing downs old Trump tonight. We have a very special guest

[00:24:28] Some bleary-eyed Steven Colbert the the Mueller report has to have him like

[00:24:35] Just yeah like desolate

[00:24:39] I haven't watched Colbert and like since it first came on and I was like, oh no

[00:24:43] This is gonna be bad, you know what I mean, but like sucks man the clips I catch are like rough. What's going on here?

[00:24:50] Man his lashes. I rewatched a clip of him singing the

[00:24:54] Mueller like Christmas song

[00:24:56] He's saying yeah, well a man of four got arrested. He's like man of four no man of four

[00:25:04] Just one of many

[00:25:06] He's like it wasn't even Christmas. It was October

[00:25:10] It's got me feeling like it's Christmas. That's that's everyone's like yeah

[00:25:17] Yes, you know like sing a shitty Christmas parody about yeah, that's brutal man. Yeah

[00:25:24] But nothing to happen. It's hilarious. Fuck. It's really funny. I mean nothing was ever gonna happen with the fuck

[00:25:30] Why is everyone so like there's so much stuff that we know it's gonna take credit for it

[00:25:35] But I would have found it on my own had they not said

[00:25:37] Well, you don't get to take credit for it for what if you try to but I guess apparently that fucking like one of the FBI agents involved in this

[00:25:46] Just some thing no

[00:25:48] It would have been awesome. Are you stealing news again Adam? No, I made that up. Did somebody tell you that?

[00:25:53] No, no one told me that I made it up

[00:25:58] It's not a steal

[00:26:02] I'm saying Adam stealing no I was lying news. I was faking. I was faking this. No, I don't know

[00:26:08] It's like some guy that only investigates like child sex trafficking was

[00:26:14] So everything you love yeah, maybe Jesse like snitched on the pedophile ring and the only way he could

[00:26:21] Get the FBI involved as if he had to fake his own hate crime

[00:26:25] To make it into this big thing draw this attention

[00:26:28] Yeah, and that way he's not gonna get killed. He's not gonna get killed and maybe he's the hero

[00:26:34] He is the hero. We all need so wait wait the FBI guy is usually a sex trafficking guy. I barely looked at it. Okay

[00:26:41] I didn't really

[00:26:42] Yeah, I really have no interest in this story anymore. Yeah. Yeah people are trying to drag it out still

[00:26:47] They're like oh the cops paid for the Nigerian guys hotel room. Yeah, I don't what do you what point are you even trying to prove there?

[00:26:54] No, it's like wait when it's a rich connected guy whose friend let him off the hook

[00:26:59] Yeah, it's every day. It's like with nothing new. Yeah

[00:27:04] Nothing to see here

[00:27:06] Trump tweeted about it. I think that's why of course he did. Trump said of course he did and like it's like

[00:27:11] It's like cuz these things are like a fucking cake walk for him. Oh, it's a slam dunk. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they're like

[00:27:17] Why is he even getting involved and it's like are you kidding? Yeah, this is a hundred percent. Yeah, yeah up his house

[00:27:25] This is a black guy pretending his guys

[00:27:30] Did a hate crime and getting caught this is a hundred. This is such a win. It's a it's like Taylor made for Breitbart

[00:27:36] Yeah, for them it rules and then like Democrats are like, oh, suddenly a

[00:27:41] Republicans care about

[00:27:43] Just just being served with the just juicy thing

[00:27:46] But they didn't care about about what the Mueller report and it's like, you know, it sounds like it was

[00:27:50] They're not gonna see that it that way. Yeah, that all

[00:27:54] It's just the inverse of that

[00:27:57] Yeah, also, it's just like they're just

[00:28:00] It's just not the same thing at all. Who gives a fuck like

[00:28:04] What of course this is just like a little PR stunt and the Mueller is do you say Mueller Mueller?

[00:28:11] I say mule. I know it's mauler. I don't know. I don't care. Nice. I'll say I'll pronounce his name any damn way

[00:28:18] I want yeah, yeah fuck that fuck him fuck that buff gray-haired mother fuck mule

[00:28:22] Or is he really buffers? It's just a car to stop. No, I'm stronger than stops. It's not very I'm stronger than Mueller

[00:28:30] There you go. I could fuck him up. No, you couldn't pull up his stats Adam put up pull up

[00:28:35] How tall and how much which I like how old you're body

[00:28:40] Look up pictures of Mueller's body. I'm gonna steal his body stats until you guys

[00:28:46] How old is he that's number one?

[00:28:48] 60

[00:28:49] 79 years old 79. No, all right 79 is the new you're high weight age biography wife affairs facts and I'm getting into 69

[00:28:59] That's where you salute while a woman sucks your day

[00:29:04] Ding dong Homer

[00:29:06] Oh, jock Peterson. Oh, I don't know what you're talking about man. Oh, man. No one cares about baseball

[00:29:12] All right, his middle name first of all is swan

[00:29:14] Okay, Robert Swan Mueller the third. You know this guy's always guys with weird middle names are always like bad guys

[00:29:23] 511 good point like

[00:29:26] Amusellini

[00:29:28] Or fucking Richard Tiffany gear his name is Tiffany. Yeah, his middle name is Tiffany. That's kind of cool

[00:29:34] Is it I returned to my statement earlier that I wish my name was Beverly

[00:29:38] Beverly Courtland Mullen I've only ever worn penny lovers my entire life

[00:29:48] I mean people I'm charmed yeah, I'm charmed by your presence

[00:29:56] No, I wouldn't say it like that. No, I mean he's charmed. Yeah, the pleasure is all his though. Yeah imagine just like

[00:30:02] Just some like fucking Carol Gardens day go that says charmed charmed to meet you

[00:30:07] Yeah, charmed

[00:30:10] Hey, hey, the child. Hey baby. Come here. So Mueller is his sexual orientation straight

[00:30:19] Okay, marital status married affairs not known 165 511. He's a hundred and sixty five old

[00:30:26] 73 oh, I could fuck up a 73 year old man. I don't know he seems like you would weigh more than 165 that seems light

[00:30:33] Yeah, that's just fine. That's just fighting shape. I'm one sixty five and I'm just only kind of obese

[00:30:42] I'm like one forty five ten probably five eleven closer to five eleven. Oh, he's like you but 73. Oh

[00:30:51] My god, I would fuck him up

[00:30:53] No, we're not even taught. Yeah, dude. So you want walk that back Nick. I'm done. I'm developing body

[00:30:59] He's got 25

[00:31:02] You've had it man. You're living with developing. Yeah, you need to go to a fuck you need to watch shrill dude

[00:31:07] Yeah, and you should watch the message maybe get a hypnotized away the same as him to love your love yourself

[00:31:14] Yeah, you need one

[00:31:16] This is when like stop found out. He's how much fatter he was in Trump

[00:31:23] Hundreds of pounds happy no come on. They're probably Trump's probably weighs more than so he's like six. Yeah, he's taller than me

[00:31:29] He's better. He weighs like 240. No, according to who the fake like doctor report. He gets a theory. How much does Donald Trump weigh?

[00:31:40] He he weighs way more than stop

[00:31:45] No, just tell us bitch, what do you mean don't mean take a look what if I was on your eye pad?

[00:31:50] What if I was a blind man, it's on your iPad. Hey, Siri Google big fat tits. Oh

[00:31:55] Wait, that's my Siri what fucking lying

[00:32:03] Yeah, sir, so sir so much worse than Alexa. Yeah, Alexa will say it actually she'll say what you know

[00:32:11] The word the word can you ask her to say it? No, I don't know. I've never tried. I never even thought of it

[00:32:17] Yeah, I think you've tried dude. Well, I don't have either. I'm an android man

[00:32:22] I don't have a slam does Android have any kind of person they probably do like oh, yeah, there's a Google guy a

[00:32:30] Google there's Watson IBM Watson. Oh, they got a man, huh? Yeah, taking women's jobs Watson's like what could I Google for you today?

[00:32:40] Cheats you try to Google anything

[00:32:42] My god, we decided to go with a gay man

[00:32:47] To make people there's some robot voice I said you see that article that was like

[00:32:51] Introducing the robot voice that has no gender

[00:32:55] And it's just a gay guy who needed this. Yeah

[00:33:00] Can't hear any distinction between the genders. Well, what does it sound like it sounds like it?

[00:33:06] I don't know just a robot. I mean it could sound it sounds like either. Yeah, it's just like this

[00:33:10] Yuri in between robots never had genders to begin with it was always shit like this. No, I need them to have a gender

[00:33:16] Oh, yeah, yeah, that's come on to come

[00:33:20] You can't just you can't just fucking put your politics onto robots. Everyone saw the Jetsons. It was a chick robot. Yeah

[00:33:30] Nice dude slivers got us waska on us for him. No

[00:33:35] Me or hey headstone

[00:33:38] He saw a Roy

[00:33:40] So my penis though. There's our fat little picture again. Ryo the headstone

[00:33:46] Yeah, like like Street Fighter, baby. You are washing the Hessons

[00:33:51] And it's a cartoon about

[00:33:54] American family that lives in space, Mexico

[00:33:58] What's um what some jobs you can hire like a Home Depot guy to do for you?

[00:34:03] What do you mean lifting and moving things? What about like putting up shelves?

[00:34:10] Yeah, they probably know how to do that like drywall anchors and stuff. Yeah

[00:34:14] I figure that you probably have that skill why do you have a drill you need to hire one of them?

[00:34:19] No, I just want to help the economy

[00:34:21] The black the Mexican guy come up

[00:34:25] Yep, I

[00:34:28] Would like to do that. I would like to support can you hire them just to talk to Hank's usually up

[00:34:33] Yeah, maybe you could just get him to fucking throw on fucking

[00:34:37] Go to lunch go to lunch get fucking get ramen with them

[00:34:42] They've never had ramen. Yeah, that'd be cool

[00:34:46] You could ask them hey, what's the food you've never had? We're gonna go eat it pal

[00:34:50] Yeah, you could ask them what their day was

[00:34:53] Be seeing your you think you could kiss them

[00:34:58] Yeah, try to turn them out

[00:35:00] You should try to just walk into the Home Depot parking lot with like a long mint coat and be like, all right y'all work for me

[00:35:06] Next I listening but that was funny. I was a drawing board Simpson. I'm drawing real Bart

[00:35:14] I made a joke about it going to a Home Depot parking lot of dressed as a pimp and then telling them that they all work for him

[00:35:21] And then slapping them around re-eraping them where there where it is not bad. That's all right. It was okay

[00:35:28] Could have kept riffing man. Sorry. I kept riffing it. Yeah, just keep riffing it out now

[00:35:33] Well, I could be like

[00:35:34] Well, it's you you know like yeah, baby. You know, you know, you know, you own me pussy on the side too. That's right

[00:35:40] Yeah, that's right, baby

[00:35:42] You know just dress thousand a dick you tell you put that out there that expectation out there

[00:35:47] Yeah, just be filing my nails thousand think I'm so proud of my bitch

[00:35:55] Yeah, not enough people are trying to sex traffic grown Bolivian men

[00:35:59] Everyone's doing it with children and small women, but a real pimp

[00:36:03] Yeah, exactly real pimp turns out a grown man watches his ass

[00:36:07] Takes me to the hotel that that looks whatever you're drawing looks scary. It's a real life

[00:36:12] Real life Bart sucks and I hate him. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's like yeah, it kind of looks like you honestly

[00:36:19] You click stop. No like you name. Yeah, it's like kind of like here. I'll draw you right now. How about that?

[00:36:26] Why do you mean you drew a really really big nose? It's not that big my lips are kind of full-up shows

[00:36:32] Wow, that looks like

[00:36:34] Is that me?

[00:36:36] You got to post this on the patreon that does look good

[00:36:40] This has to come along with the episode. Yeah, post all these drawings on the patreon because they're definitely really enjoying listening

[00:36:48] Why do you riff out you had a riff going?

[00:36:50] Well, you know the whole team someone else's jokes

[00:37:03] The S's are all dollars

[00:37:05] Your old boy Adam Jones playing for the diving backs. He's not he's in Arizona. He's woke to right

[00:37:11] He's pretty cool. Was it some of the Baltimore riots? He was like

[00:37:17] This is good

[00:37:19] Don't kill don't kill black people someone told me a story about how like

[00:37:25] some guy got married to

[00:37:28] Some guy like some guy was getting married and then like years prior his wife

[00:37:34] Because Adam Jones just like when he first got the Baltimore would just fuck. Yeah, just randoms

[00:37:39] but just really slant push and

[00:37:42] So this lady everyone in their friend group knew she fucked Adam Jones

[00:37:46] And then and then they got married and

[00:37:50] No one told the guy because it's like, you know, you don't want to tell it white

[00:37:53] Why would you be like hey by the way this girl you did your wife?

[00:37:56] And as a gift to all his like groomsmen he got at the wedding he presented them

[00:38:10] Only one that didn't know because I guess they all went way back and he's like you know

[00:38:14] I mean, it's like a friend group and he starts dating one of the friends. Oh, he's new to the group

[00:38:18] He's new to the group. Well, if he was such a big fan, maybe he would have you know, yeah, maybe he would have thought it was

[00:38:23] South Pussy cleaner. Yeah, maybe he would have been like, you know, I think my bitch my bitch cool

[00:38:28] She fucked my favorite baseball

[00:38:32] Could you imagine that's hilarious dude, how would you like this?

[00:38:37] Dasha know that you had sex with a bunch of professional

[00:38:39] Yeah, I thought you got fucked by most of the guys in the world

[00:38:49] I guess I mean favorite guys. Okay, cuz she also had sex

[00:38:53] We were favorite guys. Yeah

[00:38:56] Leonard Cohen. Yep. Dylan. Yep. Woody Allen. I'm just trying to think of Jews. They fucked you

[00:39:04] former

[00:39:06] Alan Greenspan former secretary. Yeah, the head of the Fed chairman

[00:39:13] Guy named Simon Wisen thaw that opens the Simon Wisen thaw center

[00:39:19] I'm a different Simon Wisen thaw

[00:39:23] The other place I just like drinking PP. I

[00:39:28] Enjoy drinking urine both my own in the urine that belongs to other people

[00:39:32] This is the Simon Wisen thaw center for drinking people and it's just a bad

[00:39:38] Hello the Simon Wisen thaw center for drinking PP. No, I'm sorry once again. You have the wrong number

[00:39:46] Yes, this is the Simon Wisen thaw center, but this is the one for drinking people

[00:39:51] Wait, who's that was a real slam? He was like a sicker holocaust

[00:39:56] place

[00:39:56] Yeah, but I think he was a Nazi hunter. I think he was like going around South America trying to get oh hell

[00:40:02] Yeah, yeah, that's fucking tight. I would like to see an action. He was like excuse me

[00:40:07] I kind of think those Nazi hunter guys are pussies. It's like we're what during the war

[00:40:12] Maybe you should have been doing this. They were in camps during the war

[00:40:16] Yeah, real big man now that the Nazis don't even have an army

[00:40:23] Real to now that you're eating food every day

[00:40:25] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it sounds like a really madly matched fight the entire world is behind you and those poor Nazis

[00:40:33] Have to hide in some shit hole in South America

[00:40:41] Raping with locals

[00:40:43] Simon why is all Santa?

[00:40:46] No, no, this is the one for drinking PP. I'm sorry

[00:40:49] No, we don't have, yes, I'm sure your neighbor is in Nazi, but unless he's interested in

[00:40:55] drinking pee pee or sending me his urine for myself to drink, I'm sorry, there's nothing

[00:41:00] in here.

[00:41:01] This is a completely different place.

[00:41:05] He doesn't even care that he's Nazi.

[00:41:07] He's like, that's a problem.

[00:41:09] He's like, oh, you're wasting my time?

[00:41:11] Well, actually my family came over in the 1830s.

[00:41:17] We were smarter.

[00:41:18] We realized that anti-Semitism would never happen in America.

[00:41:22] That's why we came here to open up our pee pee drink.

[00:41:29] It would be a good action movie would be a guy just executing old Nazis.

[00:41:34] I think they've made those.

[00:41:36] Yeah, yeah, and also they had Munich, which was, but they were Nazis, but they were

[00:41:40] kind of fucking Munich.

[00:41:42] Munich was sick, dude.

[00:41:43] Eric Band was killing those guys that killed the Olympic.

[00:41:47] Oh, I thought it was just about the Olympics.

[00:41:50] I didn't know they hunted them down.

[00:41:51] No, it was all about Eric Band of pop, pop, pop, pop in them.

[00:41:54] Yeah, Eric Band is Australian.

[00:41:56] He's not fucking Jewish.

[00:41:57] He's Australian.

[00:41:58] He's a video.

[00:41:59] He's a video.

[00:42:00] Yeah, we cast it a better video.

[00:42:01] It's a movie in New Zealand.

[00:42:04] The what?

[00:42:05] The head of that mosque in New Zealand.

[00:42:06] No, no.

[00:42:07] He's speaking at a public event with a microphone, a loudspeaker.

[00:42:10] There's like probably like a hundred people, at least there.

[00:42:12] And I will not mince words or do you think that there was a group behind this attack?

[00:42:19] No, I'm not afraid to say that it was the massage.

[00:42:23] And then somebody's like, the truth is real dead.

[00:42:25] Oh my God.

[00:42:27] Jesus Christ.

[00:42:28] I was like, make them on chill.

[00:42:31] We're universal.

[00:42:32] Everyone's universal.

[00:42:33] We're on our side right now.

[00:42:34] Chill, chill, chill.

[00:42:35] Chill, chill, chill, chill, chill.

[00:42:42] You do too much, man.

[00:42:45] Yes, I, yes.

[00:42:47] Somebody sent me the video.

[00:42:49] I saw it.

[00:42:50] I, okay, ma'am, can you calm down for a second?

[00:42:52] I just want to let you know this is the pee pee drinking.

[00:42:55] Just let me know why it's interesting.

[00:42:57] Yes, I believe we spoke last week when you thought you saw a swastika in a carpet with

[00:43:04] repeating patterns on this is again, this Simon Wiesen's all Santa for drinking pee pee.

[00:43:13] I love these guys.

[00:43:14] An office.

[00:43:15] He's got that desk.

[00:43:16] Was that the where you had?

[00:43:19] No, it's like I'm in office.

[00:43:22] I know.

[00:43:23] I got a phone.

[00:43:24] Hello.

[00:43:25] We should get Simon.

[00:43:26] You have a call online.

[00:43:27] Three.

[00:43:34] Okay, Grace, are you making sure you screen these?

[00:43:37] Because I've been getting a lot of calls today about this New Zealand guy.

[00:43:41] Grace is just him using a woman's accent.

[00:43:44] Yeah.

[00:43:45] He's just sitting alone in a bathroom with a phone.

[00:43:51] Talking to no one.

[00:43:52] No, I understand.

[00:43:54] Yes.

[00:43:55] There are a lot of Nazis in.

[00:43:57] Oh, oh, you're just telling me that incidentally.

[00:44:00] You are interested in selling me pee pee.

[00:44:02] Oh, that's very good.

[00:44:04] Well, we have different options.

[00:44:05] If you understand me, the guy, basically it's the inverse of bulk pricing.

[00:44:11] So the more pee pee you send in for me to drink, the more money you get.

[00:44:15] Oh, he's buying the piss.

[00:44:19] He's buying the piss to drink.

[00:44:20] Nice.

[00:44:21] That's, yeah, it's the Simon Wiesenthall Center for drinking pee pee.

[00:44:23] Interesting.

[00:44:24] Yeah.

[00:44:25] It's just a man who drinks pee pee.

[00:44:26] Yeah, he doesn't seem like he needs a real center for that.

[00:44:30] That's most of their job.

[00:44:34] The bulk of their work is just drinking the actual piss.

[00:44:36] Yeah.

[00:44:37] That is nothing.

[00:44:38] That's what's going on.

[00:44:41] Sorry.

[00:44:42] What were you saying?

[00:44:46] Yeah.

[00:44:47] Mm.

[00:44:50] He's got luck and I'm fucking a coffee mug.

[00:44:52] I'm going to make this merch.

[00:44:53] Coffee mug with a star David on it that says you don't want to see me before.

[00:44:56] I've had my pee pee.

[00:44:58] Simon Wiesenthall Center for drinking pee pee.

[00:45:05] Mm.

[00:45:07] These beautiful Jewish subcultures, I had no idea, Adam.

[00:45:10] Your people are cooking.

[00:45:11] That would drink pee pee pee.

[00:45:13] Yeah.

[00:45:14] Oh, no, drinking pee pee has gone back to the days of King David.

[00:45:17] Yeah, there was actually a cup of pee pee that lasted for eight days.

[00:45:21] Yeah.

[00:45:22] That was, it was a great area.

[00:45:24] Everyone drank out of the same pee pee cup.

[00:45:26] It was actually my Torah, my Torah portion in my bar mitzvah was about the pee pee drinking.

[00:45:32] Yeah.

[00:45:33] Yeah.

[00:45:34] Thank you.

[00:45:35] I'm grandma for coming for so far to my bar mitzvah.

[00:45:39] Um, today we read the, the Torah portion of the pee pee drinking.

[00:45:45] But actually my Torah portion was like legit fucked up.

[00:45:50] What happens?

[00:45:51] Like you can't fuck men can't fuck guys.

[00:45:53] Man can't fuck dogs.

[00:45:55] Man can't fuck livestock.

[00:45:57] Is it random?

[00:45:58] It was just, yeah, it's like, you know, according to the time of year they have different,

[00:46:01] they read a different one every week.

[00:46:03] Oh, you don't get to pick.

[00:46:04] And mine was no.

[00:46:05] Yeah.

[00:46:06] What?

[00:46:07] You're assigned, it's like by your birthday.

[00:46:08] That's son.

[00:46:09] By your 13th birthday.

[00:46:10] So that's, that's a monology in the man.

[00:46:11] That's Jewish astrology.

[00:46:12] Um.

[00:46:13] Is your Torah portion?

[00:46:14] Well, it, no, it's just like they have, you know, what, I don't know.

[00:46:18] It's not a straw.

[00:46:20] I use by your birthday.

[00:46:21] And anything's a straw.

[00:46:22] Any religion could be a straw.

[00:46:23] Oh, by your birthday.

[00:46:24] Yeah, I guess you, they will.

[00:46:25] So you're a gay guy.

[00:46:27] That's a new, that's numerology.

[00:46:29] Because it's not based on the stars.

[00:46:32] It's just what happens to fall in the day.

[00:46:34] Well, numerology is like taking letters.

[00:46:36] Taking numbers.

[00:46:37] What's the Jewish numerology called?

[00:46:38] Yeah, it's called.

[00:46:39] No, there's a name for it.

[00:46:42] Um, Camatria.

[00:46:43] Yeah, that's really.

[00:46:44] Yeah.

[00:46:45] It's really gay.

[00:46:46] What is that?

[00:46:47] It's like when you're at your bar mitzvah, they give you like, uh, your cheap relatives

[00:46:52] will give you $18 check and you'll be like, what the fuck is this?

[00:46:56] And they're like, it's the, it's the number for high, which means life.

[00:46:59] Incredible.

[00:47:00] And like you just get, give me $18.

[00:47:02] Fuckin' cheap fucking cake.

[00:47:06] That's incredible.

[00:47:09] Yes, we heard Adam Frieden's comments on the show.

[00:47:13] I'm aware of self-hating Jews.

[00:47:16] I understand the concept.

[00:47:17] But again, this is the Simon Weisendall Santa for drinking.

[00:47:20] There's nothing we can do about it.

[00:47:23] Yeah.

[00:47:24] Ah, the fucking Torah portion.

[00:47:27] Was there ever a part of the Torah about how King David was getting pussy?

[00:47:30] No.

[00:47:31] Because what King David was after the Torah, the Torah ends at when Moses gets to Israel.

[00:47:36] Really?

[00:47:37] Yeah.

[00:47:38] It's the story.

[00:47:39] How much is the Torah?

[00:47:40] How many books is the Torah?

[00:47:41] It's like from Adam, five books.

[00:47:42] It's from Adam to Moses.

[00:47:44] So put the Old Testament and then.

[00:47:46] That's Jewish.

[00:47:47] Yeah, Moses never gets to the land of Palestine.

[00:47:52] I call it Palestine.

[00:47:53] It's political.

[00:47:54] It's called Canaan, I guess, at the time.

[00:47:59] But yeah, Moses dies.

[00:48:00] He never actually gets there.

[00:48:02] Wow, what a bitch.

[00:48:03] Yeah.

[00:48:04] You ever noticed this?

[00:48:05] The land of Israel, the original is called Canaan.

[00:48:08] As in African American.

[00:48:10] That's right.

[00:48:12] That's right.

[00:48:13] Africanan.

[00:48:14] That's right, brother.

[00:48:15] Moses is not a coincidence, brothers, that these words are vaguely similar to each other

[00:48:21] in the English language.

[00:48:23] We developed it.

[00:48:24] Thousands and thousands of translations.

[00:48:25] You think that's a coincidence?

[00:48:29] Take a look at this drawing I did.

[00:48:30] That's God.

[00:48:32] It's the original Black God, the star David, very similar to the crypt logo.

[00:48:39] It's true.

[00:48:40] That is true.

[00:48:41] I wish I could be a fucking hotel dude.

[00:48:43] It's the coolest kind of guy.

[00:48:45] It is cool.

[00:48:46] Yeah.

[00:48:47] What do you mean?

[00:48:48] Just yell at people.

[00:48:49] I mean, being a Black guy is the best.

[00:48:51] Besides the killing by the cops and a lot of disadvantages in society, if you get over

[00:48:58] those, it's cool.

[00:48:59] Yeah, but life kind of sucks anyways.

[00:49:01] Sure.

[00:49:02] Yeah.

[00:49:03] Society's pretty much garbage.

[00:49:04] Mm-hmm.

[00:49:05] Yeah, I guess that guy, Tariq, whatever.

[00:49:07] He's got the best life.

[00:49:09] Look, it's like privileges obviously exist, but just because you're privileged, I mean,

[00:49:15] everyone still wants to die and life is shit.

[00:49:18] Still hate everybody.

[00:49:19] Well, listen to this man.

[00:49:20] Hate yourself.

[00:49:21] Mayo ass cracker ass.

[00:49:22] You know?

[00:49:23] Mm-hmm.

[00:49:24] Yeah.

[00:49:25] So you might as well be the kind that gets to say anything they want.

[00:49:28] They are so free.

[00:49:29] They get to.

[00:49:31] On Twitter, they can say whatever they want and they can't get canceled.

[00:49:36] It's impossible.

[00:49:38] No, come on.

[00:49:40] There's been Black people that got canceled, right?

[00:49:42] No, you could say whatever it was.

[00:49:43] Kevin, Kevin Hart just got canceled.

[00:49:44] Kevin Hart got canceled.

[00:49:45] Kevin Hart got canceled.

[00:49:46] Kevin Hart got canceled.

[00:49:47] Kevin Hart got canceled.

[00:49:48] The thing about Justin, they were like, shut up, Kevin.

[00:49:51] Kevin Hart got canceled.

[00:49:52] What do you say about Justin?

[00:49:53] He was like, I'm really sorry this happened to you because he got canceled for being homophobic

[00:49:56] the week before.

[00:49:57] Oh, right, right.

[00:49:59] Over tweets from like 10 million years ago.

[00:50:02] Yeah.

[00:50:03] And then Ellen was like, no, it's all good.

[00:50:05] Mm-hmm.

[00:50:06] Yeah, and then people got mad at Ellen.

[00:50:07] They're like, who gives you the, are you the president?

[00:50:10] But he's not.

[00:50:11] He's going to be fine.

[00:50:13] Kevin Hart, right?

[00:50:14] He's in that movie where he, where he's the black guy and, and.

[00:50:19] So Ellen's just like eating pussy and shit.

[00:50:22] Yeah, dude.

[00:50:23] That's hilarious.

[00:50:24] Yeah.

[00:50:25] It's pretty sick.

[00:50:26] That's, that's kind of what she's into.

[00:50:27] Yeah.

[00:50:28] Portia de Rossi's pussy.

[00:50:29] Yeah.

[00:50:30] It's weird because it's like, I have to imagine that all those hosts are asexual, you know?

[00:50:34] Nah.

[00:50:35] Like I don't imagine Ryan's secret.

[00:50:36] Like he just goes home and like, yeah.

[00:50:39] Yeah.

[00:50:40] I mean, she like, she's like, she's like, she's probably gay.

[00:50:42] I think.

[00:50:43] Oh, James Kors.

[00:50:44] Jimmy Fallon, like Kim will get it in.

[00:50:46] No Fallon, Fallon can't get it up because he's too drunk.

[00:50:49] But he wants to.

[00:50:50] But he wants to.

[00:50:51] Jimmy Fallon's married.

[00:50:52] He was outside the cellar last night or whenever I was there.

[00:50:56] I say last night, but it could very well have been three weeks ago.

[00:50:59] Yeah.

[00:51:00] Me?

[00:51:01] I'm not a time guy.

[00:51:03] Um, but he probably like is, is, can't get hard because he's drunk, but he beats off.

[00:51:08] Yeah.

[00:51:09] He beats off.

[00:51:10] He's all woman's in the room.

[00:51:11] Yeah.

[00:51:12] So alcoholic style.

[00:51:13] Do you do that stuff?

[00:51:14] I've done that before.

[00:51:15] You beat off while we were in the room?

[00:51:17] Yeah.

[00:51:18] Sure.

[00:51:19] Sometimes moved to having the repertoire.

[00:51:20] I've been asked part of the reason that what's, that's what's problematic about Louie really

[00:51:24] is he took that move away.

[00:51:25] No, sometimes girls ask for it.

[00:51:27] Are you still doing it?

[00:51:29] No, my dick is getting pretty hard these days.

[00:51:32] Yeah.

[00:51:33] No, I mean, like you're like beating off while like you're doing what Louie did.

[00:51:37] No, no.

[00:51:38] Yeah.

[00:51:39] He blocks the doorway.

[00:51:40] Yeah.

[00:51:41] I mean, it's kind of a matter where he is in the room.

[00:51:42] He's blocking the door.

[00:51:43] Exactly.

[00:51:44] Yeah.

[00:51:45] Stop.

[00:51:46] I've never done.

[00:51:47] Stop is simultaneously blocking the doorway in all the windows.

[00:51:51] It was dark.

[00:51:52] I was so scared.

[00:51:53] I didn't know if it was daytime or night.

[00:51:57] It's like a casino when there's no natural light.

[00:52:01] Yeah.

[00:52:02] That's why I get a woman.

[00:52:03] Yeah.

[00:52:04] When I get a woman in a room, I just sorry.

[00:52:05] Adam's asshole is so big.

[00:52:06] There's a little pit boss that walks around and keeps tabs on what dicks are coming in

[00:52:10] and out.

[00:52:11] I think he's a shit.

[00:52:12] I didn't know that.

[00:52:13] He's a little guy in a suit.

[00:52:14] You guys.

[00:52:15] Wow.

[00:52:16] You having a good time tonight, sir?

[00:52:18] Yeah.

[00:52:19] Number 27.

[00:52:21] Keep an eye on him.

[00:52:24] I think this one might have AIDS.

[00:52:27] Yeah.

[00:52:29] Keep an eye on number 22.

[00:52:33] Wow.

[00:52:36] That's crazy.

[00:52:37] You guys want to go to Applebee's after this?

[00:52:39] No.

[00:52:40] You guys want to try some of the chili I made?

[00:52:42] Well, we go to Applebee's commercial.

[00:52:44] Oh, look at your style.

[00:52:45] You make it Texas style?

[00:52:47] I make my chili with a pint of Guinness, a cup of coffee, a cup of base.

[00:52:54] Okay.

[00:52:55] And then I cook like beef chunks for stew.

[00:52:58] Mm-hmm.

[00:52:59] Okay.

[00:53:00] Ground beef by pan-fry it.

[00:53:01] Just salt and pepper.

[00:53:04] Maybe a little bit of chili powder in the pan.

[00:53:06] You just fry it in some olive oil.

[00:53:07] A little bit of that cayenne.

[00:53:09] And then, well, if you want cayenne in the, basically, you put the cup of coffee in the

[00:53:13] Guinness and like a mixing bowl with all the shit you normally put in chili onion and

[00:53:18] garlic powder, salt, pepper, chili powder.

[00:53:21] You put ancho in there with, I was saying that word.

[00:53:24] A little bit of cayenne and then, you know, some brown sugar.

[00:53:27] I used, I didn't have any cocoa, so I used Nesquik.

[00:53:30] Okay.

[00:53:31] And, uh, oh, Nesqu, interesting.

[00:53:33] Yeah.

[00:53:34] And, uh, how'd it come out?

[00:53:35] You can try it.

[00:53:36] I'll take a little spoonful.

[00:53:37] I am, I'm what I, I, I, I like to refer to as a chili master.

[00:53:41] Really?

[00:53:42] You should start a reality show for that.

[00:53:45] We should have a chili cook off.

[00:53:47] Chili cook off.

[00:53:48] The come down chili cook off.

[00:53:49] I would love to do that.

[00:53:50] I would like to think about like, you know, maybe I leave the city, open a little chili

[00:53:53] dog restaurant upstate.

[00:53:54] Mm hmm.

[00:53:55] That would be cool.

[00:53:56] That would be awesome.

[00:53:57] It would be cool if we...

[00:53:58] Different types of like, beef chili on like good ass hot dogs.

[00:54:00] Bro, I'm, I cannot wait to retire to a fucking medium scale restaurant.

[00:54:07] Low, like, like a little, like an elevated dining room.

[00:54:09] I remember that's what you said.

[00:54:11] Yeah.

[00:54:12] If you had 20 million dollars, you'd have a certain term.

[00:54:14] A certain term restaurant, dude.

[00:54:15] And I stand by it.

[00:54:16] You walk around, shake your people's hands.

[00:54:17] I walk around.

[00:54:18] I'm in a fucking sport coat.

[00:54:19] It's not a bad life.

[00:54:20] I got my own table in the corner.

[00:54:21] All my famous friends come hanging out.

[00:54:22] It's a tough business.

[00:54:23] I'm the best, I'm the best restaurant in town.

[00:54:26] One of those guys, you know.

[00:54:27] I have pictures with people that clearly don't want to be my, want to be in the picture.

[00:54:32] Sport, sport coat, uh, turtle neck, uh, gold chain.

[00:54:36] No turtle neck.

[00:54:37] No turtle neck.

[00:54:38] T-shirt, open, no.

[00:54:39] Sport coat, open blue Oxford.

[00:54:41] Blue Oxford, you know.

[00:54:42] Oh, I would go.

[00:54:43] Who said Oxford white?

[00:54:44] Just a little.

[00:54:45] And Oxford is a, uh, a button down.

[00:54:48] It's also, yeah.

[00:54:49] It's a button, button up shirt with a, does it mean that the button, that the collar buttons?

[00:54:56] I don't know.

[00:54:57] Is that a, is that a prerequisite of Oxford?

[00:54:58] I'm not certain.

[00:54:59] I'm not sure either.

[00:55:00] The point is I would, I would look like a real piece of shit though.

[00:55:03] It would be awesome.

[00:55:04] You know, not me, but other guys of this style would sexually harass the waitresses.

[00:55:11] I wouldn't though.

[00:55:12] Lock them in the back office.

[00:55:14] Is that what?

[00:55:15] Be it off.

[00:55:16] That's what was his name.

[00:55:17] That red head guy.

[00:55:18] No, that's the girl's crying.

[00:55:19] I was like, I'm taking this move back from Molly.

[00:55:21] No, no, no, no.

[00:55:22] Mario Batali.

[00:55:23] Batali, not ball.

[00:55:24] That's a soccer player.

[00:55:25] Yeah.

[00:55:26] That guy rocked.

[00:55:27] He is cool.

[00:55:28] He was a black Italian guy.

[00:55:29] Who's Mario Batali?

[00:55:31] Mario Batali did that.

[00:55:32] He like had a rape room upstairs.

[00:55:34] I don't know any of his restaurants.

[00:55:37] Yeah.

[00:55:38] He's like a fat, which is like, I always thought he was gay too.

[00:55:41] That'd be a cool sitcom.

[00:55:42] What?

[00:55:43] It's about like the people who live above a restaurant and how Mario Batali rapes them.

[00:55:49] That'd be hilarious.

[00:55:50] These are the people who live upstairs.

[00:55:52] You know, it'd be like that.

[00:55:53] Yeah.

[00:55:54] Yeah, exactly.

[00:55:55] Nice slice of life.

[00:55:57] I'd say come.

[00:55:58] Christopher Lloyd's there and stuff.

[00:56:00] Are we ever going to be let out of this fucking place?

[00:56:06] Just hold still.

[00:56:07] He's almost done.

[00:56:08] That's my opinion.

[00:56:09] He's like, thank you.

[00:56:10] Thank you.

[00:56:11] Thank you for my ass.

[00:56:13] Thank you for fucking my ass.

[00:56:21] I've watched one episode of Taxi and that's when Andy Kaufman had a fuck a woman to stay

[00:56:26] warm and stay alive.

[00:56:27] It's so funny if Andy Kaufman lived now and he'd just be doing all that weird dumb gay

[00:56:31] bullshit.

[00:56:32] It'd be un-fine.

[00:56:33] But then you'd be on Twitter being like, maybe if you just listened to women for a

[00:56:39] change, she's having a woke signal to continue to be booked on weird shows.

[00:56:45] No, didn't he like, that's a long dog.

[00:56:49] Yeah, I mean, all those guys also.

[00:56:50] You know who just hit that home run?

[00:56:53] My boy Kike.

[00:56:54] Kike Hernandez.

[00:56:55] He's like 5'2", right?

[00:56:58] No, that's Al-Tuvé.

[00:57:00] Right, right.

[00:57:01] From the asterisk.

[00:57:03] Which actually means 5'2", in Spanish.

[00:57:06] Al-Tuvé.

[00:57:07] Al-Tuvé.

[00:57:08] The two is the...

[00:57:10] He's the...

[00:57:11] He's the...

[00:57:12] Two is the way.

[00:57:13] It's weird how some words are the same in English as Spanish.

[00:57:16] Al-Tuvé.

[00:57:17] What do I say, Mother?

[00:57:19] What are some other words that are borrowed?

[00:57:26] They call this borrowed words.

[00:57:28] From the English language?

[00:57:29] Yeah.

[00:57:30] I think doctor.

[00:57:31] Doctor.

[00:57:32] Yeah.

[00:57:33] Sam.

[00:57:34] Doctor Blien.

[00:57:35] Te la fono.

[00:57:36] Te la fono.

[00:57:37] Computadora.

[00:57:38] Computadora.

[00:57:39] Yeah.

[00:57:40] I speak Spanish.

[00:57:42] Hennessey.

[00:57:43] Hennessey.

[00:57:44] The liquor hennessey.

[00:57:46] Mm-hmm.

[00:57:47] Pudding.

[00:57:50] Six flags.

[00:57:51] Six flags.

[00:57:52] That's a borrowed word.

[00:57:54] Woo!

[00:57:55] Back to back, no.

[00:57:56] No.

[00:57:57] It's a replay.

[00:57:58] It's a replay, isn't it?

[00:57:59] Two.

[00:58:00] Oh, wow.

[00:58:01] First pitch, dude.

[00:58:02] Man, fuck baseball, dude.

[00:58:03] I'm trying to go to a game.

[00:58:04] I'm not trying to watch it on a TV.

[00:58:06] I'm trying to get fucked up and eat a bunch of fucking peanuts hot dogs.

[00:58:10] It's called so great life.

[00:58:12] A bucket of fries.

[00:58:13] You should go back to a back game or a Yankee game.

[00:58:15] I gotta get new glasses.

[00:58:17] You don't have glasses right now, pal?

[00:58:18] I do, but they're fucked up and they don't stay on my face.

[00:58:21] I'm dead on my last pair.

[00:58:23] I've lost or broken all my glasses.

[00:58:25] I'm going to go back to Moscow and see if they can adjust the ones I have.

[00:58:29] Because I got nice glasses.

[00:58:30] I'm like, I'm going to keep these safe and then I immediately fell asleep.

[00:58:33] Of course.

[00:58:34] Actually, it always happens.

[00:58:35] Yeah.

[00:58:36] I warmed the CrossFit and then somebody stepped on them.

[00:58:38] Somebody knocked my glasses off my head and stepped on.

[00:58:40] You're like nerd.

[00:58:41] Yeah.

[00:58:42] You're not fucking lifting enough.

[00:58:43] Some 60-year-old woman.

[00:58:44] You can't tell where her tits end.

[00:58:48] She deadlifts her tits.

[00:58:52] Yeah.

[00:58:53] Was she hot?

[00:58:55] Who?

[00:58:56] The 60-year-old woman.

[00:58:57] What's the oldest bitch you ever fucked me?

[00:59:01] Probably like 40, 41.

[00:59:03] Cool.

[00:59:04] Nice.

[00:59:05] I don't think I fucked anyone that like, fuck like 73's.

[00:59:08] Yeah.

[00:59:09] Yeah.

[00:59:10] I kissed an old bitch, but yeah, I told that story.

[00:59:13] Yeah, I guess I've been on both ends of the spectrum there.

[00:59:15] Mm-hmm.

[00:59:16] Well, you fucked a really young bitch.

[00:59:17] I can't tell if it was younger.

[00:59:18] Youngest was either 14 or 15.

[00:59:21] But you were 15.

[00:59:22] Yeah, I was 15.

[00:59:23] You can't.

[00:59:24] You got to say that differently, dude.

[00:59:26] You have to say that differently.

[00:59:28] Yeah.

[00:59:29] And then as old as it gets before a woman is completely unfuckable, which is 40, the last

[00:59:36] legal age, that's what I'd be good at.

[00:59:38] You're not famous.

[00:59:39] I'm hoping she make a lot of it to legal to have sex with a woman after the...

[00:59:43] That would be great.

[00:59:47] You should run, dude.

[00:59:48] That should be your platform.

[00:59:49] Yeah, Andrew Yang shit.

[00:59:51] Yeah, yeah.

[00:59:52] He's going to make all the toilets into Toto bidet.

[00:59:55] That's right.

[00:59:57] I was mad when we did that Andrew Yang whisper song last time around that it didn't have

[01:00:02] it in me to riff out an entire song about Andrew Yang trying to introduce women to anime.

[01:00:08] And it's, where do you see a Mac?

[01:00:11] Where do you see this Mac?

[01:00:14] Where do you see a Mac?

[01:00:16] Hey, do you know about robots?

[01:00:18] Let me whisper in here.

[01:00:20] Stay some of that.

[01:00:23] I'm trying robot.

[01:00:26] I mean, that would be a lot of mental work.

[01:00:29] Yeah, there's no reason to do that, man.

[01:00:32] Come on.

[01:00:33] Don't fucking work.

[01:00:34] Yeah.

[01:00:35] No, I do work.

[01:00:36] I'm exhausted today, but last time around.

[01:00:39] What did you do today?

[01:00:40] No, that my head just hurts and I don't feel well.

[01:00:42] I feel much better than I feel yesterday.

[01:00:44] Good.

[01:00:45] Take your way.

[01:00:46] Why don't you do some riffs for us?

[01:00:48] Okay.

[01:00:49] So it's a pimp.

[01:00:50] He goes in a Home Depot parking lot.

[01:00:52] He's like, hey, baby, you work for me now.

[01:00:54] You should have just kept the riff in that out.

[01:00:56] I know.

[01:00:57] I wanted your approval.

[01:00:58] Come to me for my name, dude.

[01:00:59] I was like looking over at you because you were drawing on your iPad and I was like,

[01:01:02] dad, I finally got a fucking hit in T-ball.

[01:01:05] And you're not even watching.

[01:01:06] No, you're having an argument with another fucking dad.

[01:01:10] You just said your bedside is.

[01:01:11] You said your bedside is.

[01:01:12] You said your bedside is.

[01:01:13] You didn't riff it out.

[01:01:14] Yeah.

[01:01:15] I did think we were going to riff it for a little longer.

[01:01:16] You got to just get going.

[01:01:17] You went right to Nick.

[01:01:18] Well, what are the pimp things?

[01:01:19] I don't even know.

[01:01:20] It's too late now.

[01:01:21] He's got a pimp cup, maybe.

[01:01:22] A cup.

[01:01:23] Yeah.

[01:01:24] A cup.

[01:01:25] Or a cheddar.

[01:01:26] Yeah, that's what they like.

[01:01:27] It's kind of orange cheddar.

[01:01:28] Yeah.

[01:01:29] I remember in Austin.

[01:01:30] And in Austin, I would see it.

[01:01:32] There was a soda for Mexican guys like Apple and Pineapple soda and shit.

[01:01:40] Yeah, yeah.

[01:01:41] And the brand name.

[01:01:42] Okay.

[01:01:43] Do you know what I'm going to say?

[01:01:46] No.

[01:01:47] I mean, I may have told this story before.

[01:01:49] I don't know.

[01:01:50] No, man.

[01:01:51] He didn't.

[01:01:52] I apologize.

[01:01:53] I get to.

[01:01:54] Carritos.

[01:01:55] Yeah, that's the joke I was going to point out that brand is soda that everyone knows

[01:01:57] about.

[01:01:58] Isn't that hilarious?

[01:01:59] Everyone.

[01:02:00] We have some listeners in Australia.

[01:02:01] The company, the name of the company was P-E-N-A-F-I-E-L.

[01:02:05] Hell yeah.

[01:02:06] Yeah.

[01:02:07] P-E-L.

[01:02:08] Yeah.

[01:02:09] P-E-L.

[01:02:10] And do you have a pane of file soda?

[01:02:12] That's what you used to get me so good.

[01:02:15] What did you text?

[01:02:16] What is German for hiring or something?

[01:02:18] I don't like that.

[01:02:19] I would say I want you.

[01:02:20] I did see that on the subreddit.

[01:02:22] Oh.

[01:02:23] Oh, now you're going to get you stole that?

[01:02:25] I didn't steal it.

[01:02:26] I just linked it.

[01:02:27] I linked you guys.

[01:02:28] That's the steal.

[01:02:29] But I'd say you a picture that I found on mine.

[01:02:32] I just told it.

[01:02:33] What do you mean?

[01:02:34] What are you talking about?

[01:02:35] If I said, when I sent you, I forgot what was.

[01:02:38] Picture of a guy's cock.

[01:02:39] Yeah.

[01:02:40] A picture of a guy's cock.

[01:02:41] Do you guys?

[01:02:42] I said, what is the, what is, what do you think I made the picture?

[01:02:46] And something from the internet.

[01:02:47] Yeah.

[01:02:48] Of course, everything's.

[01:02:49] Everything's from the internet.

[01:02:52] Did you see that Netflix has a movie about a gay disabled guy?

[01:02:57] That's also from the subreddit.

[01:02:58] And instead of you saying it, Adam said that.

[01:03:02] So he stole that from the site.

[01:03:03] I never saw it.

[01:03:04] Stop said it.

[01:03:05] No, I would distinctly remember you saying that.

[01:03:08] I've literally never said that.

[01:03:09] Stop just said that.

[01:03:10] It is weird that you just said that.

[01:03:12] I was sitting here.

[01:03:13] I was smiling.

[01:03:14] I mean, I'll be both saved.

[01:03:16] No, no, no, no, fuck you.

[01:03:18] You can't attribute something.

[01:03:19] Stop just said to me.

[01:03:20] He didn't say it.

[01:03:21] You just said it.

[01:03:22] We both heard you say it.

[01:03:23] Come on, Adam.

[01:03:24] It sounded like him for a second.

[01:03:25] That's why I was like, stop.

[01:03:26] Did you say that?

[01:03:27] That's bullshit.

[01:03:28] And then you said, no, I did.

[01:03:30] Yeah, no, you remember when you took credit?

[01:03:32] No.

[01:03:33] No, he did you say it.

[01:03:34] No.

[01:03:35] No.

[01:03:36] I didn't do that.

[01:03:37] You tried to convince us?

[01:03:38] Yeah, you said it was your thing that you invented.

[01:03:39] And then, yeah, you invented.

[01:03:41] You invented knowing about that.

[01:03:50] You came up with that.

[01:03:52] Now that guy used to write it at Thought Catalog.

[01:03:54] He was the guy that defined what made that shitty writing style that made that website.

[01:04:00] Who did the Rino-Con?

[01:04:01] Yeah, the Rhino-Con.

[01:04:02] Yeah, yeah.

[01:04:03] Oh, interesting.

[01:04:04] Yep.

[01:04:05] But I read the vulture coverage of it.

[01:04:08] It's like, I don't know.

[01:04:10] I mean, obviously, people in the middle of the country aren't reading vulture, but it's

[01:04:14] like, he's describing the show.

[01:04:15] And he's like, I really wanted to bring gay sex to the forefront in a way where it's

[01:04:19] not just sort of mocked or laughed at anymore.

[01:04:22] And it's like, I mean, look, I'm just going to check out.

[01:04:28] Because I don't, like, if this is the way, like, is that entertainment?

[01:04:35] He gave sex.

[01:04:36] Is that like the premise of the show is just like gay sex?

[01:04:39] Yeah, gay sex.

[01:04:40] That's it.

[01:04:41] Not being gay.

[01:04:42] Yeah.

[01:04:43] Gay sex itself, bringing gay sex to the forefront.

[01:04:46] Well, it's because he's disabled.

[01:04:48] So it's disabled, gay sex?

[01:04:49] Yeah.

[01:04:50] I don't know.

[01:04:51] I'm sure like Shrill, it'll be a show.

[01:04:55] That's the other problem with representation, too.

[01:04:57] And I don't just mean representation of like diverse groups.

[01:05:00] I mean, like trying to create an entertainment where it's just people who you could probably

[01:05:05] know saying things that are unremarkable.

[01:05:08] It's like, am I being entertained?

[01:05:10] Right, right, right.

[01:05:11] Am I just watching someone else's life when it's not supposed to be funny or interesting

[01:05:16] or first and foremost, it's something to see.

[01:05:19] Right.

[01:05:20] I'm just going to die while I watch a man simulate going outside.

[01:05:24] Like that's all it is.

[01:05:25] I mean, it's like basically fucking Twitch streaming sold as entertainment.

[01:05:29] Which is big entertainment.

[01:05:30] Which it is.

[01:05:31] I mean, it's bizarre to me.

[01:05:32] I think it's like, you know, so much interaction is like mediated that it just like a show

[01:05:39] that where nothing happens and not like in a Seinfeld way where it's still very strictly

[01:05:44] constructed and shrimmer happening.

[01:05:47] Right.

[01:05:48] It's just like, this is a great show.

[01:05:49] I mean, I guess maybe like girls is the first example that I can think of, but I never saw

[01:05:53] a girl.

[01:05:54] I don't hear it's good.

[01:05:55] I watched if you're a girl.

[01:05:56] I watched shrill and it's like, you watch the first episode and it's like, I can't say

[01:06:02] that it was bad, but it's like nothing like what did I watch didn't make me think about

[01:06:08] anything.

[01:06:09] I'm not I have no investment in these characters emotionally.

[01:06:11] There's nothing that really makes me want to.

[01:06:13] It's not funny.

[01:06:14] It's like, I don't get it.

[01:06:16] You know, I thought I was fine.

[01:06:18] I thought it was wide or funny.

[01:06:19] No, it was like, I don't remember honestly.

[01:06:22] Yeah, I just thought it was like, Elders had it on.

[01:06:25] I was like, okay, this is better.

[01:06:26] It was better than I thought it was going to be.

[01:06:28] I thought it would be about that.

[01:06:29] Yeah.

[01:06:30] I mean, it's like, and I think the people in it are funny, but yeah, it was like, you

[01:06:33] know what it reminds me of?

[01:06:34] It's it reminds me of like, maybe like a children's show like Kai, you or something.

[01:06:39] Yeah.

[01:06:40] It's like, it's like, how do you mean to?

[01:06:42] It's the baby who has cancer, but it's like, you know, cancer doesn't actually have cancer.

[01:06:46] I don't know.

[01:06:47] I never, but I don't think anything happens.

[01:06:49] It's like, today on Kai, you, Kai, you goes to the grocery store this month.

[01:06:54] Right.

[01:06:55] And they just go there.

[01:06:56] Well, I think that I and again, I think it's like to teach babies how to pay attention

[01:06:59] to something.

[01:07:00] Right.

[01:07:01] And like, that's what the show feels like.

[01:07:02] It's like, look, good for me.

[01:07:03] I paid attention to something for fucking.

[01:07:05] No, the show is hard.

[01:07:06] The show is good.

[01:07:07] You know, sopranos, Fargo, great show.

[01:07:11] Season three, I never watched.

[01:07:13] I didn't watch it either.

[01:07:15] Season one, season two was really good.

[01:07:16] The show that was pretty good.

[01:07:18] Be it a word in case anyone wants to accuse me of.

[01:07:21] Are we listing good shows?

[01:07:22] Not liking the show because it's like something or whatever, because the terror was written

[01:07:28] by a Chinese lady.

[01:07:29] Wow.

[01:07:30] Nick.

[01:07:31] Yeah.

[01:07:32] You should have led with that.

[01:07:33] And I liked my one of the best shows I've seen recently was a Chinese lady show.

[01:07:37] Wow.

[01:07:38] It was.

[01:07:39] Why didn't you?

[01:07:40] Why didn't you?

[01:07:41] That's crazy.

[01:07:42] So take that.

[01:07:44] Yeah.

[01:07:45] What other shows are good?

[01:07:48] That's, that's it.

[01:07:50] The Nick.

[01:07:51] The Nick is a good show.

[01:07:52] Yeah.

[01:07:53] We need to bring it back to Matt TV.

[01:07:57] Pardon, pardon the interruption.

[01:07:59] I like, yeah.

[01:08:00] Is that with a report from the sun?

[01:08:03] Yes.

[01:08:04] I did watch that a lot.

[01:08:05] Yeah.

[01:08:06] I wanted to fuck that lady.

[01:08:07] Mmm.

[01:08:08] Incoming message, please.

[01:08:09] Give me head.

[01:08:11] You had him.

[01:08:14] That's my list, Gao.

[01:08:15] Yeah.

[01:08:16] Yeah.

[01:08:17] Give him head.

[01:08:18] Joseph Gordon, when he was a little girl.

[01:08:20] You heard him.

[01:08:21] Joseph Gordon.

[01:08:22] I went.

[01:08:23] Give him head.

[01:08:26] The bit, the old bitch from the cone heads.

[01:08:28] It's pretty ironic.

[01:08:29] Imagine how many pedophiles were getting topped off by Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

[01:08:35] JT T.

[01:08:36] He was probably like the Cadillac, dude.

[01:08:38] Yeah.

[01:08:39] There's probably, I mean, look, Colley had to have been the criminal.

[01:08:42] He was probably out of the game at that point.

[01:08:44] Yeah, I think he was fucking adults.

[01:08:45] Like, when I was a kid.

[01:08:46] But I say it on the show, yeah.

[01:08:47] Instead of like being good at knowing all the capitals, you know, all the topadels.

[01:08:50] And it's the place, the best place to get your dick sucked.

[01:08:52] No, I don't think he said that.

[01:08:54] No, that's good.

[01:08:55] That's a joke I was doing to myself.

[01:08:57] And then I think I dreamt that I told people.

[01:08:59] I've done that.

[01:09:02] What's the topadle of Mississippi, dude?

[01:09:06] I had a dream the other night that I rewatched all of the venture brothers.

[01:09:11] Have you seen it?

[01:09:12] What's going on in my subconscious?

[01:09:14] It's a fun.

[01:09:15] It's a good way to get to sleep so I can fantasize about rewatching the venture brothers.

[01:09:21] What is that?

[01:09:22] It's a cartoon.

[01:09:23] It is a cartoon.

[01:09:24] It's a cartoon.

[01:09:25] You know what it is.

[01:09:26] I thought that show ruled when I was 19.

[01:09:29] Was it, is it good?

[01:09:30] No.

[01:09:31] It's not good at all.

[01:09:32] I mean, it's okay.

[01:09:33] Yeah.

[01:09:34] It's like a it's like a parody of Johnny Quest.

[01:09:37] Oh.

[01:09:38] Putties in it.

[01:09:39] Putties, yeah.

[01:09:42] Doc, the boys are having gay sex in the ship.

[01:09:47] Yeah.

[01:09:48] Putties back.

[01:09:49] Doc, I'm going out to the ship to see where the boys had gay sex in the back.

[01:09:56] Ooh.

[01:09:57] There was one of those mummies in the back.

[01:10:03] The boys are having gay sex.

[01:10:09] So who exactly is Michael Avenatti or whatever the fuck that is?

[01:10:13] Stormy Daniels.

[01:10:14] Stormy.

[01:10:15] Yeah.

[01:10:16] And then, and then I got famous because he's all over.

[01:10:18] And then like idiot people, idiot boomers that saw him on Matta were like, I think he

[01:10:23] might be a good presidential candidate.

[01:10:25] He was going to blow some, he said he was going to blow.

[01:10:27] I thought he, I got excited.

[01:10:28] He was going to black male Nike.

[01:10:30] Yeah.

[01:10:31] I thought he was going to say like, uh, fucking Zion was wanted, but he just talked about

[01:10:37] someone everyone already knew about.

[01:10:39] He's weird looking to me, dude.

[01:10:41] I like that he didn't pay his taxes.

[01:10:43] He doesn't pay sex.

[01:10:44] He also looks like a gay porn star, right?

[01:10:46] Doesn't he feel like that?

[01:10:47] Yeah.

[01:10:48] He's shiny.

[01:10:49] He's bald.

[01:10:50] His eyes are piercing in a gay, horny way.

[01:10:53] How Avenatti.

[01:10:54] Wouldn't you say that's what he looks like?

[01:10:56] I found the conversion van on Craigslist.

[01:10:59] I'm thinking about buying.

[01:11:01] How is it?

[01:11:02] It's $4,500.

[01:11:03] It's out in Jersey.

[01:11:04] But it's a 1973 sport van.

[01:11:07] Oh, you're going to work on it?

[01:11:08] No, it's fine.

[01:11:09] It runs fine.

[01:11:10] Yeah, but it's 73.

[01:11:11] That's a long time ago.

[01:11:12] Yeah, not if you're a van guy.

[01:11:14] Are you a van guy now?

[01:11:16] Maybe.

[01:11:17] Nice.

[01:11:18] Yeah, it's got like carpet in the back and show.

[01:11:20] Oh, hell yes.

[01:11:21] Put a little trailer hitch on that bitch.

[01:11:23] You put the fucking Shasta Air flight on there.

[01:11:26] Beat curtains.

[01:11:27] You got that?

[01:11:28] No.

[01:11:29] No, dude.

[01:11:30] It's too classy, dude.

[01:11:31] We get your own damn van.

[01:11:32] Maybe I'll try to decorate my fucking van.

[01:11:34] I always want to get West Coast Customs in on my van conversion.

[01:11:43] I wanted a van at all when I was when I before I wanted two kinds of cars.

[01:11:48] A green Pontiac sunfire.

[01:11:51] The neon green Pontiac sunfire.

[01:11:53] It's just the Gaze choice.

[01:11:55] That's so poor.

[01:11:56] It's so poor.

[01:11:57] It's so much worse than like the Miata, which was the gay jokes.

[01:12:00] It's one of Pontiac sunfire.

[01:12:02] I did.

[01:12:03] I think I've talked about this.

[01:12:05] One of the limits, probably.

[01:12:06] It was just.

[01:12:07] What age?

[01:12:08] What age?

[01:12:09] Oh, 14.

[01:12:10] Okay.

[01:12:11] Because I was about drive, maybe like 13.

[01:12:12] I was driving to middle school and it was like on a used car lot in Baltimore for like

[01:12:17] three years.

[01:12:18] It was like there for so long.

[01:12:19] Yeah.

[01:12:20] And I was like, that's going to be my car.

[01:12:21] Yeah.

[01:12:22] Like that's specific one.

[01:12:24] And then I remember when that car got sold, I was sad for like two weeks.

[01:12:27] No, shit.

[01:12:28] And they asked your parents to get your one?

[01:12:30] Huh?

[01:12:31] No.

[01:12:32] And then once that got sold, I was like, what is this?

[01:12:34] What's this plane?

[01:12:36] It looks like a transport kind of plane.

[01:12:39] I don't know.

[01:12:40] I'm very interested.

[01:12:41] One of those planes with a has like planes inside of it.

[01:12:44] Yeah.

[01:12:45] I remember I'm a member.

[01:12:46] I just walked up.

[01:12:47] Yeah.

[01:12:48] I wanted to go.

[01:12:49] I wanted a one.

[01:12:50] 87 GNX.

[01:12:51] Is that an Nissan Buick Buick Grand National?

[01:12:56] Mm hmm.

[01:12:57] The 87 like twin turbos, the GNX.

[01:12:59] Uh huh.

[01:13:00] I wanted a little bear with a difference.

[01:13:03] Well, I wanted a fucking minivan that I was going to convert into a van.

[01:13:07] I didn't even think about having an actual van.

[01:13:09] I just wanted.

[01:13:10] In fact, there was, there was this, it literally all my options were for cars I saw for sale

[01:13:16] in my neighborhood.

[01:13:18] There was a shitty, I want to say Plymouth minivan.

[01:13:21] Just like weren't aware of other vehicles.

[01:13:23] No, no.

[01:13:24] It was just what I saw in front of me.

[01:13:25] I never like did research on them or anything like that.

[01:13:29] And so someone said, did you ever like cars at all?

[01:13:31] No.

[01:13:32] It was solely based on what?

[01:13:33] Did you draw cars?

[01:13:35] Nick.

[01:13:36] What do you mean draw them?

[01:13:37] Did you still like draw cars?

[01:13:39] I would draw a lot when I was a little kid, but I wouldn't draw cars specifically.

[01:13:42] It was mostly like cartoons.

[01:13:44] Yeah.

[01:13:45] Simpsons.

[01:13:46] My brother's just dragging balls at you guys.

[01:13:48] Yeah, I remember the balls you're drawing kids.

[01:13:51] Yeah.

[01:13:52] I was like, damn, that's so tight.

[01:13:54] Yeah.

[01:13:55] And I could draw the Simpsons.

[01:13:57] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[01:13:59] Yeah, yeah.

[01:14:00] Got them drawers, drawing kids.

[01:14:01] Nah, fuck that.

[01:14:02] Dragon Ball C, that was a shit to draw.

[01:14:05] I couldn't draw shit, dude.

[01:14:06] I'm so mad at how fucking like not talented or good with my hands.

[01:14:12] I am except when it comes to finger bomb and you know what I'm saying?

[01:14:16] Are you good at fingering?

[01:14:18] Yes.

[01:14:19] I've never really figured out that.

[01:14:21] Thanks.

[01:14:22] I've never really figured out how to do it that good.

[01:14:25] What do you mean?

[01:14:26] What's to figure out?

[01:14:27] I mean, I just like listen, I never focused on it to be like, this is how to make you

[01:14:31] come up with a dick that could would quit on you at a moment's notice.

[01:14:36] Yeah, but then just eat, of course.

[01:14:37] But you have to have the whole toolbox ready, dude.

[01:14:40] Batman's got the battering.

[01:14:41] She's got the smoke bombs.

[01:14:43] Yeah, yeah.

[01:14:44] He's got the whole utility.

[01:14:45] You ever thought about just like choking a woman out or punching her in the face?

[01:14:50] And while she just, you're upset that your dick is in work.

[01:14:53] Oh, no, I've never.

[01:14:54] You ever thought about having like a violent outhouse?

[01:14:56] No, I've never.

[01:14:57] That's never occurred.

[01:14:58] You should talk to your therapist about getting there.

[01:15:00] I'm getting in the point with my feeling.

[01:15:02] I'm so in touch with my feeling.

[01:15:03] So you take things out on women instead of your father.

[01:15:08] Maybe your dad isn't the problem.

[01:15:09] Maybe it's everyone else in the world.

[01:15:10] That's really possible.

[01:15:11] That's really incredibly possible.

[01:15:13] Stop just going super easy.

[01:15:15] Yeah.

[01:15:16] Yeah.

[01:15:17] Maybe that's the real issue is all the women in your life and not your parents.

[01:15:20] How their bitches?

[01:15:21] Yeah.

[01:15:22] How they're all whores.

[01:15:24] Yeah, it's therapy for men.

[01:15:28] Just an MRA therapist.

[01:15:35] You go to a guy's man cave and just fucking chill out and do that type of shit.

[01:15:39] You know what's a good show?

[01:15:40] Blue Bloods.

[01:15:41] No, you don't believe that.

[01:15:43] Of course not.

[01:15:44] With Tom Selick.

[01:15:45] I'm a cop dad and my son's a cop and all cops together.

[01:15:49] They still make blue bloods?

[01:15:51] We're going to be cops together son.

[01:15:53] I just want you to know we're cops.

[01:15:56] It's Tom Selick's son.

[01:15:58] I don't really remember.

[01:15:59] Tom Selick used to fuck Monica and friends.

[01:16:02] Hi, I'm Tom Selcock and I'm gay.

[01:16:06] Yes.

[01:16:07] Tom Selcock.

[01:16:08] There you go.

[01:16:16] Tom Selcock and I'm gay guy.

[01:16:18] I'm gay and I'm here to give you cops.

[01:16:20] Does anyone have money?

[01:16:23] Oh, he raised your hand if you have money.

[01:16:25] All right, keep up rights if you want some cock.

[01:16:27] Yes, sir.

[01:16:28] Yes, me.

[01:16:29] Yes, sir.

[01:16:30] That is correct.

[01:16:31] Stop redriving down D.C.

[01:16:33] He's driving tomorrow.

[01:16:34] I'm driving the bald guy.

[01:16:35] Do you mind if I put a duffel bag with a bunch of shirts in your trunk?

[01:16:38] Sure.

[01:16:39] I have my car here.

[01:16:40] So you just tell me.

[01:16:41] Cool.

[01:16:42] Yes, sir.

[01:16:43] Yes, sir.

[01:16:44] All right.

[01:16:45] Well, thank you everyone for seeing us last night in D.C.

[01:16:46] Oh, you can't sign the show or ending the podcast?

[01:16:49] Uh, we're at one 16.

[01:16:52] We can go a little longer.

[01:16:53] It's up to you guys.

[01:16:54] We can give it a second.

[01:16:55] I just wanted to give that thank you.

[01:16:57] You just want to get out of here.

[01:16:59] You got cool stuff to do.

[01:17:01] I don't have anything to do.

[01:17:02] I'm going to do some cool stuff.

[01:17:03] I'm going to sit here and watch the rest of the game with you.

[01:17:05] Really cool stuff.

[01:17:06] It's in the top of the fifth.

[01:17:07] We got a lot of biz bones to sit and watch.

[01:17:09] The fucking dodgers.

[01:17:10] You got a lot of cool stuff to do, I guess.

[01:17:13] What kind of cool stuff, dude?

[01:17:14] I don't know.

[01:17:15] Raise your scoot.

[01:17:16] I'm going to go to the gym at some point tonight.

[01:17:17] Oh, that sounds pretty cool.

[01:17:18] I got a cram on my gym in.

[01:17:20] Nix 24-hour gym.

[01:17:21] It is a 24-hour gym.

[01:17:24] You could do your 2 AM sets.

[01:17:25] Fuck, dude.

[01:17:26] I want to get my walks in.

[01:17:28] I love going and lifting weights in the middle of the night.

[01:17:31] It's really cool.

[01:17:32] The problem is you can't sleep afterwards.

[01:17:34] You're all jacked up.

[01:17:35] Yeah, yeah.

[01:17:36] After the game sets.

[01:17:37] I've been huffing ammonia in a basement for hours.

[01:17:41] I like to huff ammonia before every rep.

[01:17:46] Ammonia smells like Windex, right?

[01:17:48] It smells like piss.

[01:17:49] Does that actually help you do shit?

[01:17:56] I don't know.

[01:17:57] I've never used it.

[01:17:58] It gives you some adrenaline burst or whatever.

[01:18:01] So why don't you just cut out the middleman and have a guy piss in your face while you

[01:18:05] lift up?

[01:18:06] The guys at the gym, they huff it and they go, then they aggressively throw the bottle

[01:18:12] of ammonia across the room.

[01:18:15] Not like practicing.

[01:18:20] They want to look cool.

[01:18:24] Do you find a lot of guys at the night gym?

[01:18:26] They're practicing to look cooler in the day.

[01:18:28] What kind of guys are at night gym?

[01:18:29] Most of the people there are pretty chill.

[01:18:32] You guys just cruise on over to the night time gym.

[01:18:37] I don't know what that is.

[01:18:39] Just a couple guys.

[01:18:40] I've never heard anything like that.

[01:18:48] No.

[01:18:49] No, I've never seen anything.

[01:18:51] You want us to drop in?

[01:18:52] Actually, it's nice that the gym I go to doesn't even have a bathroom.

[01:18:55] So it's not even possible to be gay there.

[01:18:57] It doesn't have a shower?

[01:18:59] No, nothing.

[01:19:00] Really?

[01:19:01] No, locker is nothing.

[01:19:02] What?

[01:19:03] Just going in jeans?

[01:19:04] Just fucking like, yeah.

[01:19:05] There's a curtain in the stairwell if you want to change.

[01:19:10] Oh, I got you.

[01:19:11] The curtain.

[01:19:12] Got you.

[01:19:13] We reach the line.

[01:19:14] It's like a guy started joining that gym and they were just having sex behind the curtain.

[01:19:19] Guys, this is really not that kind of thing.

[01:19:23] It's not really sound proof.

[01:19:25] You smell everything just fucking wafting into the fucking...

[01:19:29] There's a machine right next to the gay sex curtain.

[01:19:33] I thought my gym has been taken over by J. guys.

[01:19:38] J. guys.

[01:19:40] Oh.

[01:19:41] All right.

[01:19:43] Well, I got to go do some cool stuff.

[01:19:46] What are you going to do?

[01:19:47] I'm going to watch the rest of this game with Nick.

[01:19:51] Okay.

[01:19:52] But thanks for coming to DC last night.

[01:19:53] We had a great time.

[01:19:54] He was a blast.

[01:19:55] We had six.

[01:19:56] Do you want to have one guy in the audience?

[01:19:58] Fuck you.

[01:19:59] Come on, man.

[01:20:00] Chill out.

[01:20:01] Chill out.

[01:20:03] He's going to be one.

[01:20:04] How funny would be if Adam gets like Rufy to the show and then he goes home with some

[01:20:07] guy and we're like, I guess that's what he wants.

[01:20:09] He's his eyes are half closed.

[01:20:12] He's like, I don't know where I'm like, I guess Adam met some guy they like.

[01:20:18] You guys would protect me.

[01:20:21] Adam just gets, he has conceptual sex with the guy.

[01:20:25] Oh, Bill.

[01:20:26] Yeah.

[01:20:27] Oh, is that Brandon's old roommate, Bill?

[01:20:29] All right, all these guys, Brandon's over a minute.

[01:20:31] Yeah, I guess so, yeah.

[01:20:32] Bill's funny.

[01:20:33] Yeah.

[01:20:34] He does a lot of commercials.

[01:20:35] I mean, he looks like a nerd.

[01:20:36] He looks like the classic nerd.

[01:20:38] Unlike me, I keep him.

[01:20:40] That's why you can't get those nerd roles.

[01:20:42] You're too cool.

[01:20:43] I'm like, send me to the alpha shit, but I'm too, um, I'm too masculine, they say, when

[01:20:49] I can do it for those roles.

[01:20:50] I had to pay so much money to the government.

[01:20:52] I know it sucks, dude.

[01:20:53] I'm a libertarian now.

[01:20:54] Are you?

[01:20:55] No, I still, I'm happy to pay it, but no, I'm happy to pay my taxes.

[01:20:59] But only because I like the military industrial television.

[01:21:02] Only because I wrote, yeah, make this go to a bomber that's invisible.

[01:21:05] Yeah.

[01:21:06] Make sure all my money.

[01:21:07] I want this to go to a lot of money.

[01:21:08] I don't mind paying taxes.

[01:21:09] I just wish I was better at cheating on them.

[01:21:10] Yeah, I agree.

[01:21:11] Like I wouldn't feel bad about paying taxes if I knew Amazon was also paying taxes.

[01:21:15] Right, exactly.

[01:21:16] It's like, how do I, what did they do?

[01:21:17] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[01:21:18] Can I get that account that shows me how to.

[01:21:20] Well, they lose money.

[01:21:21] That's what they do.

[01:21:22] Oh, no, they don't.

[01:21:23] That's why I'm so cheap because they lose money on it.

[01:21:27] What do you mean they lose money?

[01:21:28] Because they make all their money from the servers from AWS.

[01:21:31] Well, why does an AWS pay fucking money?

[01:21:34] The reason they didn't pay.

[01:21:36] Okay, continue, sorry.

[01:21:37] The reason they didn't pay any money is because they like counted like shareholder, like additional

[01:21:44] like stock issuance as a cost.

[01:21:49] So you just give more stocks to people and you're like, oh, well, we lost money, but

[01:21:52] it's based on like the valuation of the company.

[01:21:55] Because then they don't pay anything in taxes, even if they generate the same amount of profit.

[01:21:59] It's just like, yeah, issuing.

[01:22:01] Damn.

[01:22:02] Should I issue stocks to my company?

[01:22:04] Stop it, baby.

[01:22:05] Enterprise.

[01:22:06] That's not really how it works.

[01:22:08] That's the accountant.

[01:22:09] He could probably tell you.

[01:22:10] I'll give you, oh, you guys, you get a couple stocks, huh?

[01:22:12] Wink, wink.

[01:22:13] Wink.

[01:22:14] No.

[01:22:15] It really sounds like you're saying wink, wink, wink.

[01:22:18] I was saying wink, wink, wink.

[01:22:22] No.

[01:22:23] No, wink, wink.

[01:22:25] Wink, wink, wink.

[01:22:28] Wink.

[01:22:29] Wink.

[01:22:30] Wink.

[01:22:31] Wink.

[01:22:32] Wink.

[01:22:33] Oh boy.

[01:22:34] Oh, yep.

[01:22:35] Well, folks, time to have gay six.

[01:22:41] Oh, very true.

[01:22:44] Damn.

[01:22:45] Oh, shit.

[01:22:47] There's a Greek independence day parade is today, everyone.

[01:22:51] You're missing it.

[01:22:52] It's a bunch of lubed up nude Greek men running down Fifth Avenue.

[01:22:57] Ah, I got a cup of that cup of whatever you stupid lady.

[01:23:02] No, Sunday.

[01:23:03] First of all, we have a beautiful language.

[01:23:05] No, it's bad.

[01:23:06] No.

[01:23:07] It's the basis of fake alphabets.

[01:23:08] It's the basis of frats.

[01:23:10] It's fake alphabets.

[01:23:11] It inspired frats.

[01:23:12] It inspired frats.

[01:23:13] All the letters got too many fucking letters in them.

[01:23:16] No.

[01:23:17] It's the end of the florities.

[01:23:18] What frat were you in stuff?

[01:23:19] I was in a frat called Pi Kappa Phi.

[01:23:22] What's that?

[01:23:23] It was the one that sold pies.

[01:23:29] Yeah.

[01:23:30] You eat pies.

[01:23:32] Yeah, it was pretty gay, honestly.

[01:23:34] Was it like a nautic pussy getting frat?

[01:23:37] No one at UMBC got pussy, dude.

[01:23:39] It was a bad school to go.

[01:23:40] I'm sure someone got pussy.

[01:23:41] There was like three guys who got pussy.

[01:23:43] They fucked everyone.

[01:23:44] Literally, yes.

[01:23:45] And I was not one of those guys.

[01:23:46] Was it a commuter school?

[01:23:47] You didn't live on campus?

[01:23:48] That's the thing.

[01:23:49] It was like a fucking shitty commuter school.

[01:23:50] That's why you don't get pussy.

[01:23:51] So everyone was like, dude, the door to frat you'll get pussy.

[01:23:54] And then it was like one guy in the frat literally had to go to rehab for wow.

[01:24:00] For world before crap.

[01:24:02] Oh, I thought you meant those chips.

[01:24:04] No, no.

[01:24:05] Those were delicious.

[01:24:06] It makes you leak out of your ass.

[01:24:08] Yeah, they had like an olextra.

[01:24:09] It's toxic chemical in the olextra.

[01:24:11] They were really tasty.

[01:24:12] Molesstra.

[01:24:13] Most of them.

[01:24:14] And it makes you leak out of your ass.

[01:24:15] Boom, shock a lock.

[01:24:19] Boom, boom, boom, shock a lock.

[01:24:22] Click, click, boom.

[01:24:23] I wonder where he ends up to.

[01:24:25] I guess you should probably hit him up.

[01:24:27] He's rebranding.

[01:24:28] See if he wants to play pool.

[01:24:29] He's being straight now.

[01:24:30] Izzy.

[01:24:31] Yeah, we should have him on.

[01:24:32] He doesn't have male friends anymore.

[01:24:33] Yeah, he only hangs out with shit.

[01:24:35] Yeah, you know, you got to go cold turkey.

[01:24:38] Because moderation doesn't work.

[01:24:43] You got to quit guys.

[01:24:46] I thought maybe I could hang out with guys for a moment or two.

[01:24:48] First thing you're doing, you're hanging out with them, you know, responding to the text

[01:24:52] messages.

[01:24:53] Next thing, you're behind the little curtain in the gym.

[01:25:04] Jimmy don't even belong to.

[01:25:05] He gets caked out mid-sex.

[01:25:07] He's got some membership.

[01:25:09] Sir, did you sign in?

[01:25:12] You're going to need to have a guest pass.

[01:25:14] So you're going to have to buy a guest pass if you want to continue having gay sex in

[01:25:17] here.

[01:25:18] All right, folks.

[01:25:19] I'm going to move for some bronze shwiger.

[01:25:24] What's that, a sausage?

[01:25:26] It's liverwurst.

[01:25:27] Oh, fuck that shit.

[01:25:28] What is that?

[01:25:29] I've been feeling weird too.

[01:25:30] You feel a little off?

[01:25:31] I don't feel well though.

[01:25:32] Yeah, I feel like I've got a full-

[01:25:33] Yeah, me too.

[01:25:34] Yeah.

[01:25:35] Maybe I'll have some soup.

[01:25:36] I'm going to go home pack.

[01:25:38] Yeah, I've got a pack too.

[01:25:40] I'm going to go get a massage tomorrow.

[01:25:42] Let me empty out that duffel bag and throw their shirts in there.

[01:25:45] Yeah, go do that shit.

[01:25:46] Yeah, I will have shirts for sale yesterday.

[01:25:49] Yes, I will have shirts for sale yesterday.

[01:25:52] So hopefully you bought some.

[01:25:53] And I will have pussy for sale.

[01:25:57] I met him all at the Home Depot parking lot.

[01:25:59] They're going to be working the block outside the club.

[01:26:03] All right, everyone.

[01:26:06] We'll see you next time.

[01:26:07] Thanks for coming by.

[01:26:08] Bye.