Cum Town | Premium | 12/11/2016
[00:00:00] We're not gonna do yet jet blad blad blad what's up b
[00:00:01] Oaks huh baba disobedience you are listening to the most G-Makah the most Haitian
[00:00:21] I want you I want you to slam your penis into someone's butt
[00:00:32] And I am tapped out as far as Ross. That's all I got I think my my total
[00:00:38] Cultural input as far as rasta shit goes
[00:00:41] The little bit of Bob Marley I've listened to in my life. Mm-hmm, and then the friend from grant theft auto for
[00:00:48] Yeah, he was tight. Yeah, which is so you know, it's so funny about grant theft auto for it's like
[00:00:56] What a would a forward thinking progressive friendship they created? I mean that like
[00:01:05] Eastern European guy who survived the genocide and then you know this like West Indian
[00:01:12] Yeah, this badmante right yeah, and they you know despite their differences come together to
[00:01:23] Crime despite the massive differences that are between the two of them they found a
[00:01:33] Star-up them dreads master selecta master selecta that's what that's like the best compliment that they give you in
[00:01:40] Rasta culture is selected which just means you're like good at picking out songs
[00:01:46] You're like a guy that knows how to keep himself busy at a party and that's the biggest compliment
[00:01:50] They have the biggest compliment is just what Pandora does. All right. They're used to an out good algorithm. Yeah
[00:01:59] There's such big fans of gay people in Jamaica
[00:02:03] I love me. I'm trying to find a damn timer on my phone here. I got a timer food lively up that timer
[00:02:10] Yeah, no, so we were this is this is actually I don't know what this is gonna be we recorded one earlier today
[00:02:16] It was like bae was lackluster is is the perfect word for that because you know I've been work
[00:02:22] Two days I had to spend the entire night last night in a van. No, I don't know as you were at the van overnight
[00:02:29] Yeah, it's in the van overnight, you know, I tethered my phone to the
[00:02:34] MacBook that's a new feature on these Apple products. They're very nice instant hot spot. They call it
[00:02:39] You don't have to configure anything. Mm-hmm. You just find your phone in the Wi-Fi you connect to it and then drain all your data
[00:02:45] Bing bang boom, you know a month later you get an extra $40 on your bill
[00:02:49] Because Verizon, you know, they don't let you know that that's
[00:02:55] It's just a fun new Apple product feature
[00:02:59] How much data did you use fucking just go nothing?
[00:03:02] I mean, I just I use it so it's easier to text people because you know, I just think I use messages on the laptop
[00:03:09] I've been fucking tearing through data. Just just yeah, I got a like I'm at 90% with like seven days to go
[00:03:16] What do you guys do I deleted I don't have Twitter or Facebook on my phone. I still yeah, I
[00:03:20] I listening to podcasts it trades your shit. You just got to download that shit before you fucking go out
[00:03:26] Yeah, I have a 17 hour jazz playlist on my car
[00:03:34] That's what you listen to I don't know. I just looking for a long playlist. I didn't really care
[00:03:39] What kind of music it was? I just wanted to download something you didn't care what music was you this is how autistic?
[00:03:43] I am I was annoyed that I wasn't using all the space on my phone
[00:03:46] Because I use the cloud for everything I pay for like the iCloud extra
[00:03:52] Yeah between my data, so it's like what the fuck I have a 64 gigabyte phone
[00:03:58] I need to put something on here. So just 17 hours of Dave Brubeck. Yeah the Brubeck song
[00:04:05] Yeah, that let's see how many jazz guys can I name those two
[00:04:18] Neil Armstrong just died actually yesterday. Yeah, Neil John Glenn Armstrong. Yeah, yeah
[00:04:25] He was it was it was John Glenn the guy that punched the dude in the face. Yeah Buzz Aldrin
[00:04:30] Oh, it was buzz Aldrin did. Yeah, the fuck did John Glenn dude. He went like back into spaces and old pieces shit
[00:04:35] Yeah, I think so I remember being elementary school and they're like wow look at this old man is doing
[00:04:40] Yeah, and that's right. I stopped thinking being an astronaut was cool honestly
[00:04:43] I was like oh, yeah fucking old ass. I'm doing going outside to like see it and but you there was no way to see it
[00:04:50] I don't I don't remember that. Yeah, I remember it being a big deal though for somebody
[00:04:54] What was so what was he in the moon? What the fuck? No, he wasn't he was the first man orbit. Yeah
[00:05:01] But yeah fucking so this is a hormones Wilkerson story Norman told me the story
[00:05:06] but we're talking about pathological liars one time mm-hmm and
[00:05:09] He was like I worked at dominoes with this guy that would just lie constantly and
[00:05:15] He worked with this this manager of dominoes. It was like lie in one of his lies where he went to space camp
[00:05:21] And he was like yeah, actually on the last day of camp. We actually got to go into space
[00:05:33] What's so funny about pathological liars is you can see how little they respect you
[00:05:39] Right, you know it's almost like going to space 20 people all time have gone into space. I think it's what you go
[00:05:46] Yeah, yeah, I just fucking making that shit up. I
[00:05:49] Did want to go to space camp though. I want to be a
[00:05:52] I did to when I was also work as I thought you actually went to space. I thought it was camp in space
[00:05:58] 19 year old man that thinks everybody else is still working with those assumptions
[00:06:02] Dude, I just wanted to do going that fucking machine. That's your gravity room in every movie
[00:06:06] Yeah, you would want that she seems cool. You you fucking victim of gravity
[00:06:11] Yeah, I I have been battling gravity. You get so much posting in zero gravity. I hell yeah
[00:06:17] I would dude although it would take away all the torque I have when I fuck. Oh, is that how it works? Yeah
[00:06:26] Really ram it in there. Yeah, I don't know what torquies at all
[00:06:33] Ritational force. Yes. Yeah, I have a lot of that
[00:06:36] Yeah, my ball. I'm gonna get some physics nerds. It's gonna be mad about that fucking. Oh, yeah, actually
[00:06:43] Why do they say with cars then it's the amount of it's the amount of like the
[00:06:48] Ritational force at the it's like pounds pounds per footage that
[00:06:52] Crankshaft can put on you got a carburetor. Crankshaft can pound plenty of footage
[00:07:01] Yeah, torque is measured like torquies measured like imagine you have a
[00:07:06] Imagine you have like a you know like a crescent wrench
[00:07:09] Uh-huh not yeah, and then like it's a foot long and the amount of like downward force on the end of the crescent wrench
[00:07:16] That's like the torque measurement. So like a hundred pounds per foot. Mmm is the amount of
[00:07:25] That's I don't know what that is. I don't know what fucking boom is about
[00:07:29] I think density is when you put something about a thing of water. Yeah density is like yeah
[00:07:34] Density is like a measure of mass. Yeah. I like a nice pair of dense old titties. No wait. No, it's volume density is
[00:07:44] I don't know but don't you measure shit by putting it in a fucking no, it's mass and weight you put that shit in a
[00:07:49] Little bowl of water though, right? I don't see how dense something is exactly why the last episode is
[00:08:00] Was excited and well, are weren't you gonna get that fucking yak?
[00:08:04] Yeah, we're gonna do coke guys. I don't want to do this. Let's do it for the listeners
[00:08:08] It's the holidays for the listeners. Can we talk about Christmas stories? I pay money for that too?
[00:08:16] I just was checking it would be funny to do coke right now on the podcast
[00:08:20] Yes, you're you're you're upset because of the last time
[00:08:25] But I'm promising you this time it'll be good and it's gonna be so funny when people see the new uploaded episode is called cocaine
[00:08:34] Can we just talk about Christmas story will on yes on some snow after we hit the slopes
[00:08:41] roommates, huh you offered it I didn't offer it. Yeah, I mean a couple weeks ago. My sister listens to this show
[00:08:48] Okay, Adam's not gonna do not the premium episodes. She does. She's a premium subscriber. What a gal
[00:08:55] She's a pre me. Shouts out and this coffee tastes like shit. Yes, thank you for making it
[00:09:00] But why does it taste like shit? It's kind of watered down. It's yeah
[00:09:04] It's got like a gas station. He tastes to it. Mm-hmm. What do you mean? These are smells good?
[00:09:08] This tastes like like it was made by someone that's making eight dollars an hour at 52 years old
[00:09:14] I just wish they were dead no owner of the Valero threatened to excuse me
[00:09:21] Excuse me. It don't come like that y'all can't have that much coffee coffee taste bad. Maybe you shouldn't drink it
[00:09:31] Why'd you sit down? Why didn't you get?
[00:09:35] Come on, dude, it'll be fun. Come on dude. Yeah now. We're fucking up the energy of the show. You gotta go do this. We already
[00:09:42] So stop for us if you got in a tree for your part I did get a tree when is Greek Christmas Greek Christmas is
[00:09:48] The day after Christmas. Yeah, it's when everything goes on sale
[00:09:53] Now Greek Greek Christmas is exactly the same as I don't know why the fuck we have a different Easter, but not
[00:09:57] But not a different Christmas. What Bible do the Greeks use?
[00:10:01] There's just well, I don't fucking know what I got with new American Bible. I think I think just the regular ass Bible
[00:10:07] What's the right ox? I don't know. What's the regular Bible? I don't know dude
[00:10:10] I've never thought about the different kinds is the do Catholics have a different Bible. Yeah Catholics use the new American Bible
[00:10:16] I think like Protestants use King James. Mm-hmm, right. That's how it goes
[00:10:24] The Catholics use the new American Bible Protestants uses King James or the NKV
[00:10:29] Yeah, I've never read a Bible my fucking life. Yeah, they've been around my habit. I've read the Bible the Quran
[00:10:41] Yeah, I got real into theology. I got real heavy into really I got into air heads
[00:10:46] I was sucking on air heads for like two months and I just read the fucking Bible every day
[00:10:51] I'll be like yeah, didn't you used to go meditate with a fucking Buddhist monk? Yeah an old Korean monk
[00:10:57] I was yeah, I was lying about the the Bible thing. I've never read the Bible
[00:11:01] But no, I did yeah, I went to a Zen dough for a while when you're like 18 or something 19. Yeah here in Austin
[00:11:08] In Maryland. It was in a German town. I mean yeah
[00:11:11] Yeah, this fucking Korean guy had all his farmland that he was always I was wooded like farmland that he bought like hand-built a
[00:11:21] You could just go and sit for like two hours on Saturday really yeah, just you and him was a whole
[00:11:26] Oh, no, yeah, there was like maybe ten other people that were regulars that would go there all the time
[00:11:31] Hell yeah, but it was like sort of an open door thing Zends a lot different than
[00:11:35] You know like Tibetan Buddhism where it's like you know and we're going you know
[00:11:39] There's not as much of a sense of community or whatever
[00:11:41] It's not more about like you know treating people people fairly so much as it is dealing with your own
[00:11:52] Western philosophy equivalent of like existential anxiety or angst
[00:11:57] You just sit there and think about like you know trying to do the best job possible of sitting there and after two hours
[00:12:03] You walk away like understanding that you do have like some kind of control over what your thoughts and emotions do
[00:12:09] Damn, I could use some of that shit dude. I'll be talking about yeah. Yeah. Well, you know keep going with that blender
[00:12:18] You gotta keep blending shit. Oh my god, dude. What the fuck happened
[00:12:22] To doing we were doing great. I think we're waiting on this coke. Oh, yeah, that's what it is
[00:12:27] I kind of Adams using a two of clubs to line this up
[00:12:32] I don't know why didn't use the ace of spades. I have to do everything cool style
[00:12:37] The ace of spades my VIP. Yeah, my favorite part of that song is
[00:12:42] Oh, hold on. We got a problem. We have to deal with we'll be back in like a second
[00:13:09] Can I share that Michael Jackson story yeah, I sure whatever sir you want
[00:13:13] Sorry about that Adams roommate came in and I had to explain to her that stavros ate all the
[00:13:22] Why are you framing me? I don't know I just seemed like what we were all doing I did not eat the fucking chop
[00:13:31] That's the problem being a fat person if you ever fucking steal if food is missing or someone farts for some reason
[00:13:37] They think fat people fuck more you literally try to do a bit every show where you fart on them fucking Michael
[00:13:44] Doesn't definitely pick up this no one thinks it's funny, but you I don't know I think there's a lot of hey
[00:13:49] No, there's a fart fans. Yeah come at you know at everybody
[00:13:53] I just want to also think like all the um is Tampa warm this time of year
[00:13:58] I think it is I think about you know once we get the patreon up to about a million dollars
[00:14:01] Let's move to Tampa. No, we're gonna do we're gonna have the come boys
[00:14:05] Florida getaway where every winner we just move the Florida for fucking like old Jews
[00:14:12] Yeah, dude Tampa's awesome. I feel like we could fucking Tampa, too. I went there. I was there
[00:14:18] Did I tell I told the story of a lady. Yeah, Bailey J's there the hottest trans woman on earth
[00:14:26] She's got a good snapshot good snapchat
[00:14:28] I'm not a matter husband great photographer. Can I tell you can I tell you guys a story? I heard about about Michael Jackson
[00:14:35] Yeah, yeah, okay, so Michael Jackson has like completely lost his mind
[00:14:41] He's a drug addict. He's on what is it fentanyl? I don't know
[00:14:46] It's end of end of the his you know, it's about to die life not about to die, but you know in that period
[00:14:53] So apparently he stopped at a certain point
[00:14:56] I'm feeling it necessary to go to the bathroom to use the bathroom
[00:15:01] No, so apparently when he needed to go to the restroom
[00:15:05] He would pull his pants and underpants down just shit on the floor and just take a poop on the floor
[00:15:09] Yeah, we know this already. This is an astute you heard. Yeah, he knows this people
[00:15:14] Is this true? Yeah came out during the trial of the doctor that gave him the pills Conrad Murray. Yeah, yeah, okay
[00:15:21] So it is true. Well, I heard that yours. Hey, that you're saying it people are saying it
[00:15:27] I don't know if it's true people are saying you in story. I like this is a story that
[00:15:31] During Terrence Howard's like divorce. He like didn't want people to know that he had a small day
[00:15:37] I know yeah, but you like during the divorce. He like didn't want anybody to find out he had a small dick
[00:15:42] He was like she's gonna blackmail me and say have a small dick or whatever
[00:15:44] But then he did a nude scene in a movie where you can see his little ass dick. Yeah, yeah, which I'm you know
[00:15:52] I thought his life was better than mine and I saw that and made me feel good
[00:15:56] I feel like all celebrities should get dick and smallening surgery. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah
[00:16:01] That's the word did it okay, which one of us has a fucking English degree
[00:16:07] Yeah, did you or is it me no actually have a degree in Middle Eastern Studies International Paul?
[00:16:18] With your hand apparently that's what I have a man to get my burn in about yeah
[00:16:22] Yeah, you go to the bathroom on your hand
[00:16:24] That's how you know that Michael Jackson stories because you went to school learn how to do that
[00:16:27] I learned that in school. I learned that in a you know
[00:16:29] I got my degree and fucking not wiping properly in a class about
[00:16:33] Commanding in the the Ayatollah. Yeah, yeah, what's I a total of me?
[00:16:39] You know what I and I know I brought up the jewel feather turban before but you know it needs to come back grand
[00:16:50] If every Muslim was the grand poo bah, yeah, if every that was like our hip-hop thing
[00:16:56] No, if every Muslim was the grand poo bah of like you know the fucking Tomkins Street deli
[00:17:01] Yeah, yeah, they all get a bodega that they're the grand poo bah of and they wear the jewel feather turban
[00:17:07] I don't understand how Islamophobia could still be a problem
[00:17:09] Yeah, who bah so good because you know what the only reason Trump won is because his hat was great
[00:17:14] Mm-hmm, and there's no better hat than the jewel feather
[00:17:18] Yeah, that's you want to you want to fucking make America great again?
[00:17:21] You put a fucking jewel in a feather you're saying if Hillary started wearing that she would have won no then it would suck
[00:17:27] Yeah, as soon as Hillary does anything. It's like yeah, this isn't really it's gonna sucks now
[00:17:32] We used to like it, but now we don't anymore
[00:17:34] You know, you know Hillary's like you know a doctor
[00:17:36] Seuss book where people have like the stars on their chest. Yeah
[00:17:39] Yeah, those are all the special people and then the regular people get the stars
[00:17:43] Hillary's the people that don't have whatever the fucking
[00:17:46] That the moral of that story that isn't about class actually the more let's story is that some people are just cool
[00:17:53] Yeah, no matter what they do they're always gonna suck. Yeah
[00:17:58] So we can thank dr. Seuss for that lesson. Yeah, we would see was he a American dr. Seuss or British
[00:18:06] What was his deal? He wasn't a doctor. He like cheat on his wife and I feel like you're asking us
[00:18:10] But you know the answer. I don't know that's this is the kind of shit
[00:18:12] I would say and then you'd be like um actually yeah
[00:18:15] He went to Brown and he graduated in like 1945
[00:18:19] And it's actually very interesting because there was a book that was written about me in your minute
[00:18:35] With a shirt that says brown on it or like a hat or something you just go up to them and be like yo
[00:18:42] Right. Yeah, that's funny. Yeah, we can Brown do for you. Yeah, well good Brown do yeah
[00:18:50] That's not what Brown can do not what you can do for Brown people what Brown can do for you
[00:18:56] Can do for you what Brown go to the moon and and start slavery up there
[00:19:02] Bring slavery back on the moon he was and I promise you I will never get shot in the head ever
[00:19:09] I dare to try to get to God. I do the last thing that I'll do is get shot in the head
[00:19:17] I'm just trying to shoot me in my fucking head. I swear that's a god. I'm never gonna die
[00:19:25] I'm never gonna go to Dallas, Texas. Yeah, I never gonna ride
[00:19:30] So funny to open a movie and it's just like a sweeping shot of downtown Manhattan
[00:19:36] And then just like on the bottom of the screen and like computer font that makes it like
[00:19:50] And that was how mad that JFK was a speed junkie, right? Yeah, speaking of everyone did amphetamines
[00:19:57] Well, they just came out this book that Hitler was put the entire Nazi war machine on speed
[00:20:03] Yeah, well, that's where half the drugs came from is they would chain soldiers to cinder blocks and then inject them
[00:20:07] Academy and shit make them run in circles. Isn't I don't think ketamines the right drug for that ketamine is like
[00:20:14] No, PCP. They're trying to create super soldiers. Oh, yeah
[00:20:17] It's so weird that drugs have like different classified like there's maybe five types of drugs and they all essentially do the same thing
[00:20:23] Right, right, right, you know, it's weird that there's not drugs out there that don't like you know
[00:20:27] There's one of them that just turns everyone into Garfield the cat
[00:20:32] Like imagine that's that's a future designer drugs is like VR drugs
[00:20:37] Where you take a drug and then everyone is a fucking naked lady. Oh, did you have sex with? Oh nice?
[00:20:45] I'm fucking at him, but I look it's like I'm fucking vintage Carmen electro. I'll tell you guys a drug
[00:20:50] What if that'll be cool? What if that's the solution to the the issue of people are like I'm not he that was he was born a man
[00:20:56] I'm gonna call him a man instead of like
[00:20:59] Making trans people change we just have brain surgery for everyone else so that they see those people as the correct gender
[00:21:06] That's beautiful. Yeah, it's just shallow. How just forced. Yeah, it is shallow. How the greatest movie of all time
[00:21:13] I want to reverse shallow. Hell man. I want to see how women is fat
[00:21:16] I did a drug the other day a coat of actually it was a couple years ago that really messed me up worse than any other drug
[00:21:24] It wasn't like any other drug I'd ever take it at him. It's called love
[00:21:33] That's gonna be the final episode of downtown
[00:21:37] We're done. We're never gonna recover from that
[00:21:42] Listen folks, you don't think when the love drug. Yeah, yeah, double down on it. Do tags
[00:21:49] I'm gonna save this bit. I'm gonna save this bit guys. I'm gonna save this bit
[00:21:58] Yeah, sorry, um, we did you know what I might just
[00:22:02] Should we know I guess I'll release that other one is the regular episode. Yeah, I was thinking about doing it
[00:22:06] It is a special bonus just so guys know how hard we work
[00:22:10] Do a special bonus. We're not doing a special
[00:22:12] Well, I think special bonus and then we do another regular because this was already going better than the other one. Yeah
[00:22:16] Yeah, I think I think we do two bonuses and then two bonuses. Yeah. Yeah, why not the people deserve it
[00:22:22] Give it to them. They spend five bucks a month. They deserve they deserve it
[00:22:26] If they want it more than you do if they want to pay five dollars to
[00:22:30] You know to listen to the earlier ups, you know good for them
[00:22:33] Yeah, it's especially considering that all the older episodes broke and no longer work on the patreon for some reason
[00:22:39] Yeah, I gotta fix that. I don't know what's gonna happen
[00:22:41] I think it's the soundcloud links need to be updated or something
[00:22:44] But I get it I get it, you know and spend the time to figure that out
[00:22:47] I try to be responsive if you guys have any problems like
[00:22:50] Downloading the episodes the RSS isn't working. Feel free to hit me up
[00:22:54] Come town at iCloud.com. Please don't hack it. I know iCloud is notoriously easy to hack
[00:23:00] There's no nudes on there. There's only millions and millions of dollars
[00:23:04] We should put nudes on there. Also shout out to come
[00:23:07] Yo, this is a good story. Shut the fuck up. This is a good story. So when I was in high school
[00:23:12] uh, there was this kid that uh made my friend Brendan noon named Marcus and uh
[00:23:17] Marcus come on man. God damn it. It was like no you just fucking rolled
[00:23:24] He didn't even do Marcus. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so Marcus uh
[00:23:27] Marcus had like uh like a website or a fucking web server or something and he had like a like an FTP hooked up to it
[00:23:34] And he would let people use the FTP and me and Brendan were using it for whatever reason we had to like upload something
[00:23:41] Up we went on to this other kid's computer and uploaded all of his like AOL instant messenger chat logs to the FTP
[00:23:48] So we could read them and laugh at him later
[00:23:53] He just took this kid shit. Oh, yeah. Oh, no
[00:23:57] Got every conversation he had had for like four years. It's like girls breaking up with no
[00:24:04] Yeah, but so we go on to Marcus is like fucking FTP
[00:24:07] And uh, there's like a folder on there and there's a bunch of pictures of some shirtless guy who's like our age
[00:24:14] On there and we're like Marcus the fuck is this and he's like oh, yeah, I guess he like
[00:24:18] I guess he must uh, I'd let that guy use it too. I guess he uploaded those pictures on there. We're like that's kind of
[00:24:25] Weird they do that and we didn't think about it and you know, he was just because he was a very like reserved weird dude
[00:24:31] Right, right. He was not like the wrestling team or whatever
[00:24:33] Oh, and then uh, and then he started like drinking when he was like 18 and whenever he got drunk
[00:24:37] He was like very grabby. Oh, no, it was very funny, but yeah, we put it together later, but
[00:24:43] I'm glad I told that sir because I remembered yeah
[00:24:45] We would go through all like all the kevin's chat logs and there were so many
[00:24:49] So kevin was kind of like a fucking laughing stock anyways, but uh wait kevin's not the guy who's getting on
[00:24:54] Kevin's a different guy kevin's a different kind of gay. He's like just annoying and people like him and
[00:25:04] Um, yeah, that's kind of gay you are like Kevin. What about him? Uh kevin finry d sopranas season six
[00:25:12] Oh, don't spoil anything. I haven't seen it yet ready. All right. Uh, yeah, that's your story
[00:25:17] Yeah, so we're going through this guy shit and I guess he went off to he went off to college
[00:25:22] He went off to college. Look here's a little back story in this guy
[00:25:25] Uh, he refused to wear a shirt and let's say had a picture of a dragon on it. Oh, yes
[00:25:29] Only wear a dragon shirts up until his sophomore year of college. Okay. Here's my question
[00:25:34] So he made it through an entire year of college and kept that up before it time. Okay. Are we talking east asian dragon or european dragon both
[00:25:42] Oh, really? Yeah, just into both dragon tradition, you know because he had some shirts where it would be like okay
[00:25:46] This is clearly an exception to the rule where there's just a tiny dragon on it
[00:25:52] You know, but oh really he was only where yeah, this was like some
[00:25:58] Trying to get by on technicality. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's so awesome. No, this guy sucked
[00:26:01] It was like a polo like a little like a little horse, but it was a dragon. Yeah. Yeah, cool. So you know, uh
[00:26:07] So he go he went away. He went away to college or whatever and then eventually stopped doing the dragon and shirt thing but fucking
[00:26:15] Uh, fuck. Yeah. So we found this like uh, you know
[00:26:18] He had like new to these girls and there was one folder with this girl that was just like so fucking unattractive
[00:26:25] I forget what her name. I don't want to like put her because people might find her or whatever
[00:26:28] But the folder name where he kept all her nudes was like sexy underscore and then her name
[00:26:33] And it was like that these are they're not even like taken well
[00:26:38] Uh, but yeah, so we were looking through
[00:26:41] These these uh fucking these chat logs of her breaking up with him. No because I guess yeah
[00:26:46] He was like extremely wealthy his parents were fucking low. That's where you always just the kid
[00:26:52] Alex yeah, you're like a huge basement. Yeah, you're fucking like you had the best games
[00:26:56] Yeah, video games and like his parents just were like, you know, fill the basement beer and fucking weed and shit
[00:27:04] Absolutely, you could just get high and play fucking halo until four o'clock in the morning. Listen. I'm 29
[00:27:09] Right now. Yeah, let's go back to my place
[00:27:12] No, no, we need a mom to buy all that stuff for us. Yeah, yeah
[00:27:16] He's like just took his mom's credit card when fucking all like the next gen systems came out and went out and like bought them
[00:27:21] My friend was with him and he like he's like, yeah, dude. He just comes in. He's like mom. You bought me a present
[00:27:29] Signed her up for a thousand dollars where they get all the accessories Jesus. Yeah, there's a piece of shit
[00:27:36] He's yeah, so he goes. It's a dragon guy. Yeah, the dragon. This is oh, he was the fucking biggest laughing stock dude
[00:27:46] So hell yeah, yeah, yeah, go fucking dead
[00:27:49] So he goes he he says his chat chat and his girls breaking up with him
[00:27:53] I guess she lived in like Pennsylvania or something
[00:27:55] So he and they met at school so he like went up to go like see her for the holidays, right? Yeah, and uh, you know
[00:28:01] According to like the breakup text or whatever. She's like, I don't know you're just weird when you were here
[00:28:06] You kept like saying how my family doesn't have any money and how much better your house is
[00:28:11] Yeah, yeah, which he did it my like like like the like 12th birthday party or something
[00:28:15] He came over and he was going around. He's like nix pour and I'm like, I'm like poor
[00:28:20] Don't live in a fucking mansion. He's like, there's only one floor here
[00:28:25] He said that that's whatever. Okay, you're a fucking idiot and it's whatever. Yeah, but he's he's 19
[00:28:34] And he's like shit-togging her house or whatever
[00:28:36] And then she's like and then there's just other stuff that like you do that bothers me and
[00:28:40] It was so funny because I remember Kevin went away to school and then me and my friend would laugh about how Kevin like
[00:28:44] Developed a quote-unquote sense of humor while he was at school and his sense of humor was just like that fucking like so random
[00:28:52] Yeah, we're occasionally chive. Yeah, you know, it was way worse than that random. He would just be like out of nowhere ago
[00:29:03] You know, there's like weird autistic, you know stuff like what are you saying that cool beans? Yeah, yeah
[00:29:08] Cool beans. Yeah, that kind of stuff and or you know like epic
[00:29:14] He would he loves cards against humanity. He's a guy who no he's not even cool enough for that like I don't really know that
[00:29:21] Cool because here's the thing. It's like how is he like not only is he an out of touch?
[00:29:25] You know just like kind of autistic. He's also like 1% her parents, right?
[00:29:31] You know like sheltered financially. Yeah, right is out of the charlie sheen tiger blow
[00:29:37] Right. Definitely had talking it'd be like it'd be like if baron trump was in the dragon ball zoom
[00:29:42] This guy that's this guy is so yeah, so what's he up to now?
[00:29:46] Well, I don't know I mean I haven't seen him in like probably six or seven years so you guys
[00:29:51] ASU is straight up where rich retarded. Yeah. Yeah, so it's which by the way
[00:29:55] He was like last time I checked like a seven-tier senior there. Yes. He just kept failing and
[00:30:00] Yes, and then welder who doesn't fuck so he goes
[00:30:03] Number one party school in Arizona. Yeah, well there have this like there's breakup text and he uh
[00:30:10] She's fucking saying to him. She's like, I don't know you just do weird stuff
[00:30:12] And he's like like what she's like I don't know like how you just say like meow or chicken sometimes
[00:30:24] Oh man, that shit was so funny. God damn dude. I fucking yeah, I have so many good stories about that guy
[00:30:30] I don't like he's never yeah, it's run him. What he's never come up with. There's the Kevin sowed. Yeah. Yeah
[00:30:35] Well, you get each you to have your your interjection. I'll come back to it. I forgot what my interjection was. Yeah
[00:30:42] Why did you say that? Kevin sounds like a real character. Oh, yo, I had this friend
[00:30:49] I saw him after sophomore year and I was like, oh dude, how's Maryland go? He's like, oh, I got it
[00:30:57] I have to take some time off and I was like why and he's like my roommate
[00:31:05] So he like went into this long story about his his roommate this guy
[00:31:11] Who went by xpr extreme party Rob? Yes, and so
[00:31:17] Oh hell. Yes, that guy sounds awesome. So Rob like y'all got my name from a Nissan
[00:31:24] So first of all people Maryland people love to riot dude. So like we riot we look we love to find any excuse to riot
[00:31:30] So anyway last year we win the women's ncaa basketball championship and we're like fuck. Yeah, we're gonna fucking riot and
[00:31:39] um, there's a picture on espn.com of this enormous fire with like sofas in there and stuff and some dude
[00:31:47] Doing the double devil horns with the tongue like doing the pussy eating. Yeah
[00:31:51] I mean of course jumping over the fire and he was like yeah, that was robbed. Do those xpr
[00:31:57] So basically he just like wake up in the morning xpr like they shared a room
[00:32:02] XPR would slap him in the face wake up in the morning and be like all right. Here's a handle of quervo
[00:32:07] Here's a fucking ounce of weed where the fuck could be black up. I knew
[00:32:13] And so yeah, Jesse had to take a year off of school because he was living with this absolute monster one time
[00:32:19] Rob is the xpr rules. I want to hang out
[00:32:22] Extreme part your eye should be fourth mic on the show
[00:32:26] Anyone was party in their name like I met I was on when I was opening for wam city on tour
[00:32:31] The first tour we did we were in filley and there is we just crashed these people's houses, you know and
[00:32:37] uh, you know there was like six of us on the tour so we were like sleeping on floors and shit and at like eight
[00:32:44] Some guy just wanders in fucked up just opened the door knew the people I guess and he's like a man his party stee man
[00:32:56] Wake it's eight a.m. Dude. What the fuck is doing? He's like fucking party stee you guys want to get fucked up
[00:33:03] And he was some guy who in his 20s was like
[00:33:06] The pews party steeping you all the parties in chicago. He had like a text group
[00:33:10] But now he's just like some pathetic old man
[00:33:12] Yeah, yeah, and he just and he just wouldn't leave and he's like all right. I'll go
[00:33:16] We were like dude. We don't know you. We don't know who the fuck you are dude
[00:33:18] Get the fuck out my friends had had had guys like that when I was like a teenager
[00:33:22] There would always be like one or two guys that were like in their 40s
[00:33:25] There's this one guy john that would hang out and john was like homeless
[00:33:28] I guess I like live with his parents who were in there like late 70s and he was like, you know 45
[00:33:34] Huge just disgusting dreads gray hair giant here a white guy. Yeah white guy
[00:33:40] Oh, god, he was like a relatively nice guy
[00:33:42] But it was like why are you hanging out with us?
[00:33:44] So whatever and he had these long shitty homeless guy nails
[00:33:47] And I was like, why do you give your nails like that? I'm like don't you like have like the I would I can't say I'd let my guitar
[00:33:53] Well, I'm like I would I would fucking chew my nails off there that long. I don't know how you do it and he goes
[00:33:58] He's like, well, you know, I actually uh if you work your your fingernails under each each other
[00:34:03] There's like nerve centers and that's what you you're basically getting at when you chew your fingernails off
[00:34:07] Is like it's there's stress relief from from hitting those nerve centers
[00:34:10] So I just sort of work my fingernails underneath each other and that sort of relieves it for me because plus on the streets
[00:34:24] One time he one time we're all fucked up and he's sitting there and he's like
[00:34:27] Well, you know the expression suckling babes you've ever heard that suckling babes
[00:34:31] I'm like no but go on and he's like well the reason people say that is what that dates to
[00:34:35] Uh, it idiomatically the suckling babes was in the roman coliseum
[00:34:40] You know how we go and we have like, you know, hey beer me or they got a guy selling peanuts or whatever in the roman coliseum
[00:34:45] The statesman would order a suckling babes which was an orphaned baby
[00:34:49] And they would basically hold the baby, you know, like a cheeseburger over there dick and just get there like dicks suck
[00:34:54] My babies during like, you know while watching the gladiators and stuff. I was like, jesus christ
[00:35:06] First of all, what are you talking about? Suckling pig is it? Well, what do you think what's the expression of suckling babes?
[00:35:12] When do you when do you use that expression? It's not like yeah, it was a real suckling babe over at penera the other day
[00:35:19] It's just john going around with this weird pedophilia story and said that Bruce is there was this one guy
[00:35:24] There's other old guy different guy that used to hang around I met him one time and uh, this guy was fucking hilarious
[00:35:30] Dude, he was probably in his like early 40s again, and he's got this stupid yagermeister lanyard. He's showing off the people
[00:35:37] He's like, yes, check this out dude in this fucking cool. Yes, yagermeister lanyard and then he goes uh
[00:35:43] He was like, yeah, actually I fucking won the lottery like two years
[00:35:47] And it's true. He won the lottery seriously. Yeah, this guy won like uh like three or four hundred thousand dollars or some shit
[00:35:54] He like hit the big and like the mega millions or something
[00:35:56] I don't know he got like a match enough that he won the lottery
[00:35:58] And he's like, yeah, so I just buy all kinds of fucking electronics and shit
[00:36:02] And he's like I got this fucking big mixing board, you know, he's like, I don't even know how to use that shit
[00:36:09] He's like I bought a I bought a like uh, there's like 250 thousand dollar semia
[00:36:12] I just park it it was like a legally parked on the street because he didn't know how to drive it
[00:36:18] Living in a semia that he bought. That's so good. Yeah. Yeah, yeah
[00:36:21] I love bond electron. I love that type of rich. They're a bunch of pro athletes that get into like buying Mac trucks and stuff
[00:36:31] buying industrial like but this farm equipment
[00:36:33] This guy didn't even have like a house or anything. No, you're just living in that fucking truck
[00:36:40] My uh, that is so fucking good in college. I knew this guy will who I thought was the biggest
[00:36:47] Fucking retard I've ever met. He was always blackout, you know, he was always like just the guy at the park
[00:36:53] He's from north dakota. So like height of winter in d.c
[00:36:56] He'd be wearing like a light north face windbreaker and fucking shorts and corona flip flops
[00:37:02] Yeah, yeah with the fucking beer opener on
[00:37:05] I think I thought he was retarded and senior year. I like go to him
[00:37:08] I was like oh so will what do you do? What do you do after we graduate? He's like I'm going to berkeley and I was like
[00:37:15] Uh, you see berkeley. He's like yeah, I got into law school there. I just fucking uh, I just fuck
[00:37:21] I didn't study but I took the l said I got like almost a perfect score
[00:37:25] And I was like what are you really it is like I was like, what's your major?
[00:37:29] He's what have you been studying these last four years? He's like it's like something. It's like a major
[00:37:34] I made up that's like it's like a math and philosophy like like the philosophy of math basically
[00:37:42] And I'm like there's no fucking way anyway, I do so much smarter than you fresh
[00:37:46] Me and you're he had this group text uh going round where he'd hit people up and be like
[00:37:52] It's going the fuck down right now. Like this is where we're pre-gaming. This is where we're going tonight. Yeah, and uh he sends out this text
[00:38:01] You know and he'd send out texts at 3 a.m. To the group text that was like just like
[00:38:06] You know, he's blackout not making any sense
[00:38:08] But one night we all get a text in the middle of the night like to 230 a.m
[00:38:14] He's like yo, I'm getting fucked up with the deaf kids down at Gallaudet universe
[00:38:22] So he somehow blackout navigated dc to northeast
[00:38:28] Got to Gallaudet and went to their parties like this shit is crazy. They're not playing any music
[00:38:33] Is it just like an elaborate light show? Yeah, I don't know maybe lights or something
[00:38:41] He's like he's like they're drinking so fucking hard dude. I'm just in his shot. I ever clear
[00:38:46] He's just like setting these long fucking did you get a text
[00:38:50] Notting go to the deaths that would go party with will did he fuck any deaf men or women?
[00:38:55] He probably I don't know he probably yeah, he I remember his job
[00:38:59] I whatever I'm not saying his last name his job in college was he was like the body man for
[00:39:07] Senator from his home state. Oh really? Yeah. Yeah. He used to like drive him around and stuff like that
[00:39:13] You see him you'd either see him in fucking basketball shorts and coronavirus flip flops or in like a fucking suit
[00:39:18] And be like yeah, I'm going out of capital here. I got to drive the senator
[00:39:22] So he was just like some rich his dad had like oil field apparently he could have gone pro
[00:39:29] He could have gone pro skiing. Oh my god, but he's so like yeah. Yeah, he was a bully. He didn't bully hard enough
[00:39:38] It's like we're taking the mountain away from the snowboard
[00:39:42] The the fucking piece of shit snowboard
[00:39:44] No, you are man. You like you over break up me my Protestant girlfriend. You're gonna take over
[00:39:49] No, he wasn't that kind of guy at all. He was he was a very down to earth like he was like a dumb dog kind of yeah
[00:39:55] Yeah, he's like yeah, I'm gonna go home this winter break shred some gnar
[00:39:59] You got like some fresh pow pow the I read those read over report. We got some fresh pow pow just go home
[00:40:04] Shred some gnar and I've never skied in my life
[00:40:08] It's it's it's kind of fun. I've done it like twice. It's not fun. It seems gay snowboarding is hardish
[00:40:14] All all all one of two baby. Yeah tubes are all right
[00:40:21] Surfing is amazing. No, what about when we're la guys we should all those evolving. We're not gonna be la guys
[00:40:29] We said that Tampa is the new Hollywood baby. What everybody knows
[00:40:35] Yeah, we should be a shit failed florida comics
[00:40:41] They're just like there's rumors about how we sexually assaulted some waitresses
[00:40:45] It was a Tampa comic prove it. You know the Tampa comic Dan Whitney. Yeah, he was a he was Tampa before he
[00:40:52] Found that character that shot him into stardom. Yeah, that's not surprising at all
[00:40:58] I don't know. I'm supposed to be surprised that that glary the cable guys
[00:41:02] Tampa he's well, he's from Nebraska, but I think he came up in Tampa
[00:41:06] Oh, hell yeah, dude. You said video of him breaking that guy's arm
[00:41:10] Yeah, somebody challenges Larry the cable guy to an arm wrestling match. He's like get a good grasp on the table
[00:41:17] And then he just snaps the dudes fucking
[00:41:21] Yeah, he's strong as hell now. He's not liking because I thought he was weak. Oh, yeah
[00:41:27] Position Larry the cable guy is cool. Yeah, all right. That's fine. I gotta take a shit
[00:41:31] I gotta take a shit too. We should all shit at the same. I already should I should a nice fat
[00:41:38] Um, should we I guess we should take a break we can how much time we've been doing? Uh, we've done
[00:41:42] Uh, I don't know like 11 minutes since the last
[00:41:46] No, wait, hold on you've done 30 minutes since the last break. All right, we'll take another break and then we'll come back for another 15 20
[00:41:57] Okay, we're back and uh, we had a little bit of a technical hang up. I'm glad I caught it early
[00:42:02] But yeah accidentally deleted the last half of this podcast wait the whole half. No, just that Jesus Christ after this break
[00:42:09] Yeah, yeah, okay. Hopefully that worked out fine. I don't know what the fuck why that did that but uh
[00:42:16] We're gonna start over and uh, we just had a serious conversation. Yes for a minute
[00:42:20] It was actually a really good conversation. Yeah, it was we're talking about that
[00:42:24] Uh, the world peace cancellation and all the hubbub surrounding it. Mm-hmm. Um, and uh, should we just rehash?
[00:42:30] Ah, it feels bad to me. I mean we can try real quick. Let's try. I mean, I mean
[00:42:36] Okay, basically what the point we arrived at is uh, it's sort of a shame that uh, all that's happening because they are very funny in that show was
[00:42:45] an original idea and well executed. Yes, and uh, and
[00:42:51] If it hadn't have been for a shit outside of the show that happened it wouldn't have been canceled
[00:42:55] It's not the substance of the show itself. I don't think right it's all the shit that goes on around it
[00:43:00] Well, it's also like you can blame that show, but it's also like the fucking exact use of adult swim
[00:43:04] If it was just a balanced network, you can have different, you know, whatever
[00:43:08] But they're good shows. Yeah, they they got fucked because of that. It's like well the adult swim should be representing more
[00:43:14] It's kind of fucking ridiculous that there's no women directors and no show creators on that network
[00:43:20] Especially when it's like this network. We're like, oh, we're trying weird
[00:43:23] You know, we're like doing a bunch of weird shit
[00:43:24] It's like it can't all be fucking white dudes and this is the one that's like
[00:43:28] I actually kind of they're very original
[00:43:30] They have their own fucking thing and they get fucked because of you know because the name
[00:43:34] Because yeah, because well it's not Sam's but the network they'd come under fire prior to that because of uh, what is lazzo's comments
[00:43:40] Right. Yeah. Yeah about how you know, can't women in the writers. Yeah, which is fucked
[00:43:43] You can't let's fucking ridiculous can't say that. I mean you can say you can say whatever the fuck you want
[00:43:47] Yeah, but you shouldn't if you know if you're in a position where you're employing people. Yeah, yeah
[00:43:52] Um, let's shouldn't be you're part of a corporate editor
[00:43:55] I just get so frustrated watching or like, you know reading reviews of the show or coverage where they're like
[00:44:01] Wow, this show was extremely racist and people have like a almost like a moral amnesia where they forget that like
[00:44:08] They're in no way shape or form is world piece more offensive than mad tv was
[00:44:13] Right. Yes. No, miss one miss. Would you fuck every kid? Yeah, every sketch miss one is is so
[00:44:19] Well, that's what i'm saying like fucking Iranian truck driver. Hello. Hello. Hey,
[00:44:24] The depressed person tow truck man. Yeah, I love that
[00:44:29] The biggest hits on that show miss one offensive stereotype of a chinese stewy the rest are
[00:44:36] Uh with the best thing about miss one wasn't they had bobby lee on the show he didn't play miss one
[00:44:40] They didn't have an asian person play miss one
[00:44:45] And then bobby lee played an offensive woman carol. He played conny chon or baby sometimes
[00:44:54] Yeah, I mean we're also saying that like
[00:44:57] Man tv is also uh, I think that was like the genesis of the meyatas or gay joke
[00:45:02] Oh, really? She featured heavily in in in million dollar stream show. Yeah, that gave me on that's an old school joke
[00:45:08] That's a joke that I remember from my youth. Yeah. Yeah, I think that came from from man. Interesting
[00:45:15] Uh, where a black guy gets pulled over and uh, you know the uh the cops like uh, miss your license
[00:45:23] He's like why am I doing something wrong? He's like you got a taillight out. He's like no
[00:45:25] I don't and then he's like uh we fit the description. He's like what description
[00:45:29] And uh he starts roughing him up and the black guy pulls out like a
[00:45:33] Snickers bar, but it says Snickers jesus. It's like not going anywhere for a while grab a snickers jesus
[00:45:46] And they and they and they the only way they work that in there is like oh yeah, but it's about police brutality or whatever
[00:45:52] Jesus, I mean if you had those sketches on now another thing is is like those are funny. I don't know
[00:45:58] That now, you know people would fucking be that's the point is like could south park beat could they get a show right now?
[00:46:05] Like now they have sort of tenure at comedy central they couldn't because they're littory variance
[00:46:09] They're they're kind of alt-right maybe even now they're libertarian. They're libertarian. Yeah
[00:46:13] Yeah, I mean the way they they criticize all the Caitlyn Jenner shit, but also south park those those guys are much smarter than
[00:46:22] The mad tv and million dollar extreme. Yeah, for sure, you know
[00:46:26] Um, but we're also talking about how Tim and eric like they they're like well respected adult swim show and literally
[00:46:33] They've like made a lot of money off of exploiting
[00:46:41] Handy-capped ill just fucking old people that think they're gonna be famous. You know what I mean? Yeah, I mean the
[00:46:47] I think it's funny. I don't I don't think that you know they we should censor it or whatever
[00:46:52] But it definitely is exploitive. It's just difficult
[00:46:54] I mean because I guess my personal approach to comedy has always been the comedy should sort of be you know nihilistic and you're you're
[00:47:01] Classic to it. Nick is an ass-theat like you you purely respect the product, right?
[00:47:06] Uh, yeah, that's only because I'm a failed comedian
[00:47:08] If somebody if somebody offered me, you know a million dollars to be in some shitty movie two years in
[00:47:15] I would do that today people it's because I've been doing comedy for 11 years and I've got nothing to show for it
[00:47:22] Critic when um, you know you have nothing to criticize. Well, that's that's the advantage of our shows that we're we're
[00:47:30] We're not uh, we're we're on the fringes guys. Yeah
[00:47:33] We're underground. Yeah, well, that's not gonna last long
[00:47:37] I mean, you know, that's the thing is like, you know, people point at the uh
[00:47:40] Like I'd someone say to me yesterday. It's like oh, well, you know, you're lucky that you fund your own show and stuff and and uh
[00:47:47] But people could people could get your shit kicked off iTunes. There's plenty of ways they can fight right right if they want to
[00:47:52] It's gonna happen this year, but but it'll be a problem. The show gets more popular. I'm sure people
[00:47:56] There's gonna be negative attention towards the show
[00:47:58] There's definitely gonna be a that and that's what I was thinking while I was reading the the hollywood reporter interview
[00:48:03] Sam Hyde because he was talking about his fans going at the adult swim executives his fans going at Tim
[00:48:08] Tim Heidecker and shit. It's like, okay, so if there's like a fucking negative come town article
[00:48:14] There's definitely gonna be some dudes that listen to the show that are gonna like go nuts
[00:48:17] Like whoever wrote it whichever like hack journalist needs to find their next thing to be mad about
[00:48:23] Um, and you know like what what's our response? I guess just
[00:48:27] Say anything because I guess you do have some kind of responsibility at some point
[00:48:30] But I mean I've had that happen in the past where you know, I would bet when I was doing like the Nicole shit
[00:48:35] People would be like it doesn't matter what you write you enable people to fucking be shitty by writing this
[00:48:41] You don't interpret this as satire and you fucking get it wrong and somebody thinks this is you know literal
[00:48:47] That's I mean you could say you could say i'm a shitty writer and then it didn't come off funny
[00:48:52] So people didn't get it right right right?
[00:48:53] But the only thing that should matter is my fucking intent that's also the other issues is like the concept of being a fan of anything is like
[00:49:01] You're naturally a psychopath like if you're a super fan of anything like I remember you can like shit
[00:49:07] Oh, you can like stuff, you know, I'm I really like sports, right? I I watch
[00:49:12] English Premier League soccer like I watch a ton of sports every week stop trying to pretend you're not gay
[00:49:18] Yeah, no like it sounds really no it sounds really gay when I talk about it to someone that's not into it
[00:49:23] I recognize that it's like Nick. It's like how we were talking Nick and I watched the um
[00:49:35] Nah, my memory is going now. Um fucking what's the name redhead?
[00:49:42] Bill berry we watch the last bill berry special
[00:49:45] You know bill berry is like one of the biggest comics in america and like you know his
[00:49:52] Um, you know his whole joke structure is he'll say like
[00:49:55] Nah, but seriously if my son's gay, I hope he dies, you know, like I bet he goes into a funny bit about that
[00:50:01] But like the goons in the audience. He says the premise that's supposed to be offensive and is is actually wrong
[00:50:09] Before the actual bit comes in. There's an old old uh already Lang clip where he's doing this bit about saying the n word ball playing basketball
[00:50:17] And then set up for the bit. He's like, you know, I'm playing basketball these black guys and they're like uh
[00:50:22] He says like nigga like a million times. Yeah, and then they cut to the audience and there's literally a guy in a wife beer
[00:50:30] Like hold his girlfriend closer. Yeah, and it's like he's that guy's just cheering for the animals
[00:50:37] I mean, stan hope stan hope is a national treasure
[00:50:40] I think he is a fucking incredible. He's one of the top five probably yes in the world
[00:50:45] But he's beyond beyond the beyond the world
[00:50:47] It's like you know in terms of who really makes you feel okay calling stan of comedy art. He's one of like the four people
[00:50:53] I think so. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, and but his fans. I mean like those people are just like libertarian pieces of shit
[00:51:00] I mean, they're just annoying, you know, and that's that's just like the thing that sort of
[00:51:06] I don't know makes me yeah, the shit that the fans of things ruin some things like no
[00:51:12] They're not even and a lot of that's that's through the uh the lens of the internet and how that fucking you know
[00:51:18] Distorts people's personalities because I won't even go as far as to say fans or shitty
[00:51:23] I think it's like yeah, there's like 10 guys something online. You're like, oh fuck you
[00:51:27] You suck but yeah with that translates to online
[00:51:30] You're not there's no emotion a lot of the times and tweeting at somebody like yeah, you're fucking idiot
[00:51:35] This is stupid. Yeah, you're like I need to call the police
[00:51:38] You know and the interpreted as harassment. That's like I got bothered with like uh
[00:51:43] You know everyone saying that the sam sent his fans
[00:51:49] Uh the buzzfeed guy the buzzfeed guy and here's what happened the buzzfeed guy contacted sam to write an extremely critical
[00:51:56] One-sided artifact out of show and sam recorded the conversation and made him look like a fucking idiot
[00:52:02] Right and uploaded it. He was so funny. Yeah, and I didn't see this
[00:52:05] It's hilarious. Yeah, he's like you will never he's like you're never gonna work for the new york times
[00:52:11] He's like you're a fucking like you work at buzz
[00:52:14] He was big so he didn't mean to him, but it's like you you fucking you know if you're gonna
[00:52:19] You dig two graves, you know, that's like the the lesson there and everyone's saying oh well
[00:52:26] It's like no that guy set out to write an article to get people to
[00:52:29] Click your own definition harass fucking, you know the fans of the show you want to write a critical
[00:52:37] You know article about this show which you've decided is an alt-right show before you even went into it
[00:52:42] Right the guy did the guy not watch any of the show. He might have he yeah, I don't know
[00:52:47] I thought the guy that did the hollywood reporter
[00:52:49] That was a very scary interview. Yeah, I think he was really fair to him
[00:52:53] But the the tim heidecker thing where tim uploaded this video of sam, you know calling him
[00:52:57] That's exactly what sam did, you know to get an upload it was like a facebook live event where sam called him
[00:53:03] So he was like broadcasting already. Yeah, he didn't plan on sam calling it
[00:53:07] He didn't like, you know, try to expose or whatever. Yeah, I I don't know
[00:53:11] I think the definition of of sending people to harass
[00:53:15] You know so-and-so is pretty loose and it's dependent on on what the situation is and you know whose politics you're talking about
[00:53:22] Because it's harassment if it's fucking sam doing it well
[00:53:26] That's that gets to the largeing awareness
[00:53:30] Which is I think that people are just becoming pussies now and like it's it's that article amber wrote like our friend amber frost has been on the podcast
[00:53:39] We're a really good article which you guys should all read about how the left is losing
[00:53:44] Of vulgarity as a political weapon and that was to be in vulgar. Yeah, I mean like, you know, I you know
[00:53:50] I you know we can make fun of lenny bruce now because it's dated and sounds weird
[00:53:55] but like that used to be a thing that existed on the left and
[00:53:59] It's you know now now the pepe frogs are the vulgar guys and on yeah, it does suck that you can't be liberal and just fuck shit
[00:54:07] Well, you know what that's this that's the shitty thing is because I don't care I really don't care
[00:54:11] I mean like you don't in terms of the way I vote I give the shit about a $15 minimum
[00:54:15] And I think everybody should have health care and you shouldn't be racist to people
[00:54:19] You should not discriminate against them, but you can say whatever the fuck you want
[00:54:22] I also don't think it's like unnatural for somebody to hold prejudices
[00:54:26] We had to like get to this point where we understand you shouldn't be you know racist or right right right?
[00:54:31] Of course. Yeah, it's a real advanced signifier of society. Yeah, it's you know, and I think people are like oh
[00:54:37] He's racist as if you know that's like a static mode that you're you are a
[00:54:44] Racist that's something inherent to your personality and it's not like no a black
[00:54:47] I just cut him off in traffic and he's racist for that 20 minutes. It's a thing you can do is race
[00:54:52] Just like you can be angry or you know be a shitty in one relationship and on another or a goddamn
[00:55:02] That's what happened to Adam if you guys don't don't get into the show
[00:55:07] And I'm got cucked by multiple Koreans. I think yeah fucking Kim Jong bitch
[00:55:11] I guess it's what my point is is that it sucks that you like you can't the common ground can't just be
[00:55:20] Any more well the problem is like it like
[00:55:22] Very rarely are you jay gonna be able to be friends with somebody based on you know always think the same things are funny
[00:55:28] Do you think all in the family could be made today? No absolutely not and all in the family is like one of the most instructive
[00:55:35] Why have we regressed like I really feel like it's weird dude. It's weird
[00:55:40] Isn't that not how society is supposed to work? I don't think we've regressed. It's just that's that's
[00:55:46] you know, I mean the you reach an apex in terms of
[00:55:51] of like cultural integration and ways to deal with problems in
[00:55:56] In society based on like race and class or whatever through humor and art and then after that
[00:56:01] I mean the grounds have been broken the jokes have been made the arts been created
[00:56:05] You say okay. Well, how do we address these problems for real and they look around and it's like oh
[00:56:09] Some of these are really fucking hard to fix. Let's blame things like comedy instead of understanding that you know, uh, yeah
[00:56:15] No, the justice system is completely right right right?
[00:56:19] Overhauled it's not happening. Yeah hasn't happened for the last 40 years. So let's pick apart the things we can like
[00:56:26] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
[00:56:26] There's underlying causes of racism that literally zero progress has been fucking made
[00:56:31] Yeah, there's three many anything we have regressed because it's like at least in the fucking 60s and 70s
[00:56:37] It was in your face. There was no denying racism now
[00:56:40] That's all this like now we're in the air of like reverse racism bullshit and all these other
[00:56:45] Counter-narratives there's been enough time where there's enough stuff that sort of seems like we've made some progress
[00:56:51] And there's enough stuff for like white people to be at mad about so we actually in some ways have regressed, you know, because it's like you can't
[00:56:57] We're not coming right off of civil rights where you had to have an honest conversation now. We've got like
[00:57:02] I don't know I you know as somebody that's not particularly politically active or interested or whatever and I haven't been and
[00:57:09] You know, it would be bullshit to say that I even really picked up all that much throughout the election
[00:57:13] Right like the the primaries in the election has been real, you know, I guess edifying or at least like, you know
[00:57:19] It helped clarify the problems I've had over the last couple of years in regards to like what about
[00:57:26] not identity politics at large, but at least it's
[00:57:29] The way I consume it through links that are shared right right right what about it fucking bothers me and
[00:57:36] It's it is because there's you know a lot of the times it does feel like bullshit
[00:57:42] It feels like bullshit for marketing. That's the problem
[00:57:45] Yes, and when it's this commodified thing because I remember right I would get into arguments with people specifically
[00:57:51] Like during the golden globes like two years ago Microsoft held these ads about how like oh, you know, Microsoft
[00:58:00] How what the fuck does that even mean? Yeah respect women. Yeah, you make computers
[00:58:06] Why why do you even need to say that right fucking corporation? Right? I don't get it
[00:58:10] And you know, but then you really have to like think about those things and analyze those feelings and it's like well
[00:58:15] maybe I am a little bit, you know prejudice or whatever maybe I for sure and
[00:58:22] You could find ways to justify it and say, you know, like, okay
[00:58:26] Well, there are things that happen to men that are unfair or whatever and it's like yeah, that's true, but like
[00:58:32] That doesn't mean you have to reject these ideas completely. Absolutely
[00:58:40] About the identity politics shit that that really bothers me the most is that the way it's employed is it actively ends?
[00:58:49] Conversations right your right conversation right right when in reality if we can get past like words and shit like that
[00:58:55] We could have really serious conversations that like we need to have that's why we all need to be hooked up the PlayStation VR
[00:59:01] Exactly all six foot seven black men that have magical powers
[00:59:05] That way you don't have to worry about any of this shit
[00:59:14] And knowing we all get to use whatever words we want
[00:59:20] Fuck wow the cocaine cowboys really ending things here
[00:59:26] I guess we should address it because there's a lot of people to listen to the podcast that are probably you know racist or whatever
[00:59:32] Right, um, which you know if you are anything funny stopping racist, but thanks for listening to our podcast
[00:59:38] You probably shouldn't be racist, but I'm not gonna tell you what the fuck to do
[00:59:45] I mean, you know, I mean, yeah, that's my stance. I'm anti being racist
[00:59:49] I mean, I do think it's funny when you guys I don't think that's the thing is like that's like I don't want to say just don't be racist
[00:59:55] Because people are gonna go oh no, I you know, I'll continue to be racist or I'm not racist
[00:59:59] Like it and that's what you mean what you're saying before it shuts down conversation
[01:00:03] Right, I can't just say it's bad to be racist a lot of people know that and they don't think they're racist
[01:00:08] So how do you how do you have a conversation with somebody without coming off like a smug condescending piece of shit
[01:00:14] And explain to them like you know because a lot of the time
[01:00:16] You know, that was the really incredible thing that that's the thing about living in New York or any kind of like
[01:00:22] Yeah, you know like cosmopolitan or you know, yeah multicultural city
[01:00:26] Yeah, you like don't have you have enough interactions with people where you don't really have that built in anymore
[01:00:33] Right where you know, you're you're exposed to enough different people that you don't even have time to really stare
[01:00:39] Totally dude. I fucking saw Ukrainian day laborer
[01:00:42] Wait in line for a fucking Japanese crate place to open and I was so happy
[01:00:47] I was like this guy. It's kind of never seen a fucking he's his fucking people eat fucking mud stew
[01:00:53] And he's in New York and he's just like talk with these Japanese people, you know, not being racist
[01:00:58] Well, that's that was the thing that I really I thought was really incredible about the Samhade
[01:01:03] Hollywood reporter interview which was that the guy giving the interview was like listen
[01:01:08] I watched world peace. I thought some of the sketches were funny
[01:01:11] I thought some of them were kind of beautiful like the one where the guy hangs himself and he's like listen
[01:01:16] I'm gay and I'm Jewish which is the same thing
[01:01:19] But he's I'm gay and I'm Jewish and like I saw a video of you at a Williamsburg open mic
[01:01:29] And I guess you thought that was funny, but it was really hurtful for me to see that and Sam actually said in it
[01:01:35] He's like listen. It was an idea I had I wanted to piss off hipsters that live in Brooklyn, but like
[01:01:40] Like like I'm sorry dude like I feel really bad, you know, like that conversation was exactly what needs to be happening
[01:01:48] Canceling a show, you know have have him fucking talk to a gay guy. That's like I I watched your shit
[01:01:55] But like also it's really hurtful for me to hear you do that and it's hard though too because it's like you have to fucking and Samhade
[01:02:02] Apologize as an idea I get what he's going for of the like just be a like oh yeah
[01:02:08] Be offensive to just like just to fucking just to fuck with these people who are detestable in a certain way
[01:02:13] And it's like that's the hard thing about comedy is like yeah
[01:02:15] You have to fucking do something that might be offensive to just realize oh, that's fucked
[01:02:19] I shouldn't do it. You know daddy's money liberal
[01:02:25] Annoying a shit and you wanted to troll that right right and I get like what the bit was yeah
[01:02:29] But at the same time like don't maybe humanize maybe conceptually it was funny
[01:02:33] But like he tried it and maybe it wasn't you know yeah, but the video exists and that's the problem
[01:02:38] It exists yeah and recording everything it's like yeah
[01:02:41] Videos exist if you trying and failing shit that sucks
[01:02:44] You should just be able to fuck around and like because they did they he tried and that goes into his whole you know
[01:02:50] His shit and now it's that's MD you know that's that their show. I think I do that's what I agree with too
[01:02:56] I think I probably liked it a little less than you guys did there were some things that kind of
[01:03:02] That stuff that bother yeah, I thought that was really fucked up and some people have really hard times with like sweets and
[01:03:08] Delicious fatty meats, you know, what are you supposed to not eat a whole bag? Yeah?
[01:03:12] Well, I guess uh this is just really to uh, allay the uh upcoming complaints about come town
[01:03:19] It's 2017 dude backlash. I can't wait. We have to deal with the backlash and uh, we just lawyer up
[01:03:27] Yeah, we're gonna use yeah if we get to 10 we're gonna put you through law school
[01:03:33] These Adam goes to law school. Let me tell you something my parents would become the biggest come-out fans
[01:03:39] In the world. Oh my ass and lost. We know any lawyers. Yeah, I know lawyers. I know mad lawyers. Yeah. Yeah, I know I know a guy
[01:03:47] We're good. We actually we're we're fine
[01:03:50] We're fine and I'm kind of half excited for the backlash. Hey, whoa, whoa
[01:03:54] Well, I mean Chappo got backlash. Yeah, but they dealt with it really well
[01:03:59] Yeah, because Dave a they didn't say anything on twitter. They say completely silent. You know who that's a loss
[01:04:05] I know who's the absolute best at all this or is your fear
[01:04:09] Are you sure fear hands down is the fucking best with dealing with any kind of controversy?
[01:04:14] Yeah, because he got shit two years ago
[01:04:16] So right all the old amazing racist videos and they were calling clubs trying to get him canceled or whatever are he's like
[01:04:22] Yeah, you just don't say anything. You just don't say anything. You say nothing
[01:04:25] You say nothing. Yeah, and fucking uh, and then the special came out where he used that girl's name
[01:04:32] But you know, I understand and I've tried explaining it to people like if we were doing I I would do that
[01:04:38] I would do that in the context of like a small show or something
[01:04:41] It's funny to be like well this person, you know what it's the Simpsons joke where they're like
[01:04:46] Uh one student who uh will remain anonymous. So we'll just call her Lisa s
[01:04:50] I guess that's too obvious. So uh let's call her L Simpson
[01:04:55] That's that's that's like the joke and say your name. So I understand the motivation
[01:04:58] It's funny, but uh, yeah, they were like up in arms about that. Nari's like, yeah, just don't say anything at all
[01:05:04] It was fine. Yeah, you know it worked out fine, but you know if it's a podcast you have to address the shit going up
[01:05:10] Um, so hopefully this last segment wasn't just uh dumb. I think it was good. I think it was pretty good. Yeah
[01:05:16] I'm not embarrassed about this one. I'm not either. Yeah, okay
[01:05:19] I think I think we did all right. We did good boys. All right, so good boys
[01:05:23] We're gonna wrap this one up. Uh, this will be the premium episode
[01:05:26] And then we're gonna debate whether or not we should release the one from earlier today as an additional premium
[01:05:30] I think additional additional premium to find because I I want to get holidays. I I want to uh
[01:05:35] I want to have that pizza gate story on there
[01:05:38] Yeah, right, right, right, which is such a great story. Yeah, so stay tuned for that. That'll be the bonus
[01:05:42] Just the fuck anyway. We'll talk. We'll do a regular episode. We'll do a regular one. Yeah. All right. Thanks guys