[00:00:00] Good afternoon, how are you doing?

[00:00:03] Yeah, this is the Iran podcast.

[00:00:08] Iran number one podcast, the only one there.

[00:00:14] Today's episode, we talk about different risks to hold hands with your friends.

[00:00:19] When you walk to the start.

[00:00:22] I would like to do it with...

[00:00:24] I'd like to help my friend, my friend, my husband, hold his penis.

[00:00:28] If you hold each other's penis, the police think it is your just friend.

[00:00:35] Yes, I put my thumb in my friend, his foreskin.

[00:00:40] And we beat each other off.

[00:00:42] And I just take the tip of his penis under the foreskin and it is not gay.

[00:00:47] Because it is a really bad crime, we got to jail for having gay sex.

[00:00:55] But if you do disguise it, you are just hanging out with your friend.

[00:01:01] Hand shake between friends.

[00:01:03] Then it is fine. One second.

[00:01:05] Why are people going to rock-sane gay right now?

[00:01:08] What? This is the Iran podcast.

[00:01:11] We are also back.

[00:01:12] We are listening to the Iran podcast with our guest Adam Friedland, who has come to talk about being gay.

[00:01:19] Being gay in America, they can just be gay for free.

[00:01:23] He won the Oscar for being gay in America.

[00:01:29] And he wanted to bring up rock-sane gay.

[00:01:33] He is only author, he reads because her name says gay.

[00:01:36] Yeah.

[00:01:37] Well, I thought it was gay guy.

[00:01:39] He is only listening to Martin Gay and Martin Gay and rock-sane gay.

[00:01:46] His favorite basketball player is Rudy Gay.

[00:01:49] Yeah, that also...

[00:01:51] I don't know what sports because I am gay.

[00:01:55] I am gay but I want to be gay.

[00:01:57] I want to be tough to the men, the big black men.

[00:02:00] Well, I am so gay that I fantasize about men doing girls stuff like sewing.

[00:02:05] That's what I am being tough to.

[00:02:08] Is a man using a sewing machine?

[00:02:11] Ha ha ha ha ha.

[00:02:13] I admit that he is gay and what I am being tough to, which is a man.

[00:02:19] Don't forget that I am the gayest bad boy in Iran.

[00:02:23] Is he the gayest bad boy?

[00:02:25] Yeah.

[00:02:26] In Iran, the badest boy is the one who does the most gay sex and it is me.

[00:02:32] I am like Robert De Niro in Heath in Iran because we do not have banks.

[00:02:41] We only have places where you cannot have gay sex.

[00:02:45] And then my friends we put on body armor and we go in and say everybody down.

[00:02:51] And then we have gay sex in front of them.

[00:02:54] In a fault.

[00:02:55] And then we run out and have a shootout with the police.

[00:03:02] Then like the Robert De Niro in Iran.

[00:03:08] Who is Pachino?

[00:03:10] I am a De Niro.

[00:03:11] You be the cop.

[00:03:12] I am a De Niro.

[00:03:13] I am a De Niro.

[00:03:15] It is also Pachino.

[00:03:17] It is.

[00:03:18] I am a De Niro player himself.

[00:03:21] He just has to.

[00:03:23] He is just trying to catch gay men in Iran.

[00:03:25] It is kind of like cruising that movie where he was trying to catch a gay man.

[00:03:29] This is birthday.

[00:03:30] Oh, Happy Birthday.

[00:03:32] 79 big years for the Pachino.

[00:03:36] You know, he never, that's old dude.

[00:03:39] I am worried.

[00:03:40] I will be sad when he is dead.

[00:03:42] He is not going to affect me in any way.

[00:03:44] But I thought he was dead at first because he was trending or some shit.

[00:03:47] I saw him on Twitter and I was like no.

[00:03:49] I want to know who has been having gay sex.

[00:03:53] There you go.

[00:03:54] In this bank.

[00:03:57] If it was me, a Sharm and his friends, I would have fined him.

[00:04:02] You're a Sharm.

[00:04:07] You know that as if he upset that guy.

[00:04:10] If me and my friends are having gay sex and I see you coming for a man.

[00:04:15] I will have to have gay sex with you.

[00:04:20] Hello.

[00:04:21] Now that we sat down and had this cup of coffee.

[00:04:25] I am thinking maybe you could just not have gay sex.

[00:04:35] Damn.

[00:04:36] I have to be a hotdog.

[00:04:41] Give me a second.

[00:04:43] I have to be a hotdog businessman.

[00:04:46] I just imagine that I am a business man.

[00:04:49] I am a business man.

[00:04:52] I am a business man.

[00:04:55] I am a business man.

[00:04:58] Before we leave for America, I am going to the hotel to meet a business man.

[00:05:05] This is one of the posters in the draft house.

[00:05:12] His heat in Iran.

[00:05:15] Robert DeNiro.

[00:05:18] He already looks.

[00:05:20] DeNiro kind of already looks.

[00:05:22] He does look a little Iranian in that movie.

[00:05:24] Little Eastern in that movie.

[00:05:26] He has a dark goatee.

[00:05:28] He wears a lot of chains too.

[00:05:32] That guy, the being a heat.

[00:05:34] Why did they use that guy, man?

[00:05:36] That wild card and a job like that.

[00:05:39] You need to work with people you know.

[00:05:41] I know.

[00:05:42] Just fucked up.

[00:05:43] That always made me mad.

[00:05:44] That always made me mad.

[00:05:45] Come on DeNiro.

[00:05:48] He has got to rat him out.

[00:05:51] He is necessary.

[00:05:53] Otherwise he would never get the heat.

[00:05:55] I know.

[00:05:56] It would be called for the movie.

[00:05:59] I would love a movie to just watch them.

[00:06:02] That movie is good.

[00:06:04] That's what the Oceans movies are like.

[00:06:07] There's like very little chance of them being caught.

[00:06:10] Yeah, but none of people die.

[00:06:11] I guess they wouldn't have killed them if it wasn't for that crazy guy.

[00:06:14] We have a movie called the Oceans 11 in Iran where they have to steal Gepam.

[00:06:19] The casino.

[00:06:22] The gambling.

[00:06:23] The

[00:06:17] Garsia.

[00:06:25] The Nd Garcia has all the Gepam.

[00:06:27] And it's 11 best friends.

[00:06:31] It's 10 best friends in one Chinese and they have to steal a Gepam.

[00:06:38] The Chinese are small and they do not speak to him.

[00:06:42] He sneaks into the flip.

[00:06:44] He sneaks into the gay porn by going into one of the security guards' ass.

[00:06:49] By crouching into a security guard's ass.

[00:06:52] Because he's little.

[00:06:54] Fuck.

[00:06:55] Was that Jet Li in those little Chinese men?

[00:06:59] It wasn't?

[00:07:01] No.

[00:07:02] It was a famous Chinese guy though, right?

[00:07:03] There's no such thing.

[00:07:04] It was Jet Li, dude.

[00:07:06] No, it wasn't.

[00:07:07] Are you sure?

[00:07:08] He was in the Expendables.

[00:07:10] He was in the Expendables.

[00:07:11] Who the fuck it was it?

[00:07:13] There's another Chinese, there's only like three Chinese guys there in Hollywood movies.

[00:07:17] There's Jet Li, there's Jackie Chan.

[00:07:20] Who was the third guy?

[00:07:21] Chow Young Fat.

[00:07:23] Okay, four Chinese guys.

[00:07:24] It's not Chow Young Fat.

[00:07:26] Oh, wait, is it Chow Young Fat?

[00:07:27] No.

[00:07:28] It's not Chow Young Fat.

[00:07:29] No.

[00:07:30] Because Chow Young Fat is not fat.

[00:07:32] Sami Ho.

[00:07:33] Sami Ho is martial law.

[00:07:34] Sami Hung.

[00:07:35] Sami Hung is fat.

[00:07:36] Wait, Hung is Vietnamese, isn't it?

[00:07:40] Huh?

[00:07:41] That's not a Chinese name, is it?

[00:07:44] Sami.

[00:07:45] Who the fuck?

[00:07:46] Dude, it's a Chinese guy.

[00:07:47] Oh, yeah, there's Aquafina?

[00:07:49] Yeah, it was Aquafina.

[00:07:50] Aquafina.

[00:07:51] No, there's plenty of Chinese guys.

[00:07:53] There are movies like that?

[00:07:54] Like, yeah, there's like over a billion.

[00:07:56] And the lough, that guy, the other guy from fucking Romeo must die.

[00:08:03] Not Jet Li, but the other guy.

[00:08:05] Dude, there's, but the guy in fucking Ocean's 11 was a famous, average guy.

[00:08:09] Maybe the other guy is.

[00:08:10] I mean, he was probably famous in China.

[00:08:12] No, you guys are mostly doing flips.

[00:08:14] Okay, he's the first one.

[00:08:15] Jackie Chan, Bolo Yewang.

[00:08:17] Bolo, that's a cool name.

[00:08:19] Yeah, Bolo is badass.

[00:08:21] It's a bad guy from Bloodsport.

[00:08:22] Yep, I know that because we've talked about him.

[00:08:25] Probably 14 at least times.

[00:08:27] You're good.

[00:08:28] You're going to hear it again.

[00:08:29] You're going to fucking continue to hear nothing about it.

[00:08:32] Okay, this is the Iran Guess X podcast.

[00:08:35] Hold on.

[00:08:36] Today we are talking about Bloodsport.

[00:08:39] Oh, wait, he's not famous at all.

[00:08:41] Some guy named Quinn Chabao.

[00:08:43] Yeah, it is Quinn Chabao who is their 10th race.

[00:08:46] Quinn Chabao, yeah.

[00:08:47] And one Chinese named Quinn Chabao.

[00:08:49] Damn, I thought it was a famous.

[00:08:50] And they have to steal the jewelry from Mandy Garcia, who is a fag.

[00:08:54] Wait, Andy Garcia's gay?

[00:08:56] Andy Garcia is a fag from Iran, I guess.

[00:09:00] Okay.

[00:09:01] I thought you were the gay one and you still in gay pornography.

[00:09:04] I don't know.

[00:09:06] But that's why he has all of it.

[00:09:09] He can beat off the gay pound.

[00:09:14] I have special gay pound made.

[00:09:17] It's a holograph cup.

[00:09:20] So when the police come and I'm beating after it,

[00:09:23] I turn it a little bit and it looks like a girl.

[00:09:26] And they sell you.

[00:09:29] Are you masturbating to a gay cup?

[00:09:31] And I say, no, it's different.

[00:09:33] It's a girl cup.

[00:09:34] And then they look at it and they sell a kick back.

[00:09:38] And then they turn the cup again and they are a bit,

[00:09:41] like they continue to beat after the naked man.

[00:09:44] I have a pen that clicks and when they say,

[00:09:47] it is a man's penis.

[00:09:54] I have my whole house is filled with magic as a penis.

[00:10:00] And then, I have my man.

[00:10:04] All of my carpets look, they say, what is this?

[00:10:07] Is it magic?

[00:10:08] And I say, no, it's Iranian carpet.

[00:10:11] It's very, it's Iranian patham.

[00:10:15] And then they leave and I look through the carpet.

[00:10:18] I changed my focus and I see the penis and I messed up a bit.

[00:10:24] Oh my fucking god, dude.

[00:10:28] So I'm just like looking through the amount of concentration

[00:10:34] it would take to beat off like I didn't cock.

[00:10:37] Just cross-eyed, staring at the floor beating off.

[00:10:41] I have food to place again.

[00:10:45] The number one bad boy.

[00:10:50] I admit you are gay than me.

[00:10:53] It is a picture of a naked man at the sewing machine

[00:10:57] making a dress for him.

[00:11:04] Oh, Mir Shah, my son Gay is home.

[00:11:07] I'm the Gay is friend, yeah.

[00:11:09] He is not as gay as I guessed, I'm Fred Land.

[00:11:12] Well, I'm the Gay is, I was the gay, named the Gayest man in America.

[00:11:16] It was nice to win an award, I don't know about what the award was about.

[00:11:21] It was an Oscar for being gay.

[00:11:24] An Oscar for being gay, yeah.

[00:11:26] I wasn't even in any movies.

[00:11:28] I don't even have an IMDB page.

[00:11:30] Yes, but that's how gay you are.

[00:11:32] They gave me the statue because they thought I'd like the naked man.

[00:11:35] You don't have an IMDB page?

[00:11:37] I don't think so.

[00:11:39] Do you have one?

[00:11:40] Yeah, of course.

[00:11:41] Oh, because you wrote on TV?

[00:11:43] Yeah, but I've been on TV, too.

[00:11:45] And you've been on TV?

[00:11:46] Yeah, myself.

[00:11:47] I've been in feature films.

[00:11:49] Former writer of...

[00:11:50] I know.

[00:11:51] Are you a writer of people talking sports and other stuff?

[00:11:54] You're a head writer.

[00:11:56] Yeah, we just picked our own titles.

[00:11:58] There was only three of us working.

[00:12:00] They let you be the head.

[00:12:01] Was everyone head writer?

[00:12:03] Well, Sam was on the show, he was the star of the show.

[00:12:06] I was the head writer.

[00:12:07] Yeah, and then Anthony was like sidekick.

[00:12:09] I don't know.

[00:12:10] Head writer sounds like the best job.

[00:12:12] Yes, co-hosts.

[00:12:13] Yep.

[00:12:14] And I just got to say I was head writer.

[00:12:16] I was the only writer.

[00:12:17] I was the only writer.

[00:12:18] Yeah, the reviews for the show came in.

[00:12:20] It's like every part of the show was great except the writer.

[00:12:23] The co-hosting slash sidekick was perfect.

[00:12:27] The star.

[00:12:29] The starring was great.

[00:12:31] But the writing is...

[00:12:32] By the way, he's starring.

[00:12:34] But whenever he opened his mouth...

[00:12:36] For whatever reason, the writing specifically was...

[00:12:38] And the person who supervised the writing.

[00:12:40] Specifically that was bad.

[00:12:42] That's cool that you didn't pick Grand Wizard.

[00:12:46] I would have been picking our own titles.

[00:12:48] I want an IMDB credit for being the Grand Wizard on something.

[00:12:52] Did you see the picture of Biden where he put the letter N was in superimpose on Obama?

[00:12:58] Oh yeah, finger pop and Joe's officially in the race now, dude.

[00:13:01] Did he put N on Obama?

[00:13:03] He didn't see it.

[00:13:04] He didn't see it.

[00:13:05] Biden.

[00:13:06] He got to get back on Instagram.

[00:13:07] You don't think people do over three pictures?

[00:13:09] Where it's like B-I-D.

[00:13:11] I don't even know how he did it actually.

[00:13:14] Yeah, B-I-D.

[00:13:15] Oh yeah, B-I-D.

[00:13:16] So B-I-D over Hillary because she's a bitch.

[00:13:19] She's dumb bitty.

[00:13:20] Yeah, dumb bitch.

[00:13:21] Some dumb bitty.

[00:13:22] E-N over...

[00:13:23] E over...

[00:13:24] E over...

[00:13:25] E over...

[00:13:26] E-E-N.

[00:13:27] E-E.

[00:13:28] E over Andrew Yang because he's electronics.

[00:13:32] Yep.

[00:13:33] That's right.

[00:13:34] Some Chinese electronics.

[00:13:35] And then N over Obama.

[00:13:36] Yeah, I mean it's crazy.

[00:13:37] Wait, hold on.

[00:13:38] Let me...

[00:13:39] Can you just hand me the phone?

[00:13:40] I don't know.

[00:13:41] It's just a giant N over Obama.

[00:13:43] It's pretty...

[00:13:44] What?

[00:13:45] Because it spells Biden.

[00:13:46] Oh, like amongst the three picks.

[00:13:49] Oh, on Instagram.

[00:13:50] On Instagram.

[00:13:51] If you look at the grid, it spells Biden.

[00:13:53] Yeah.

[00:13:54] But the third pick is just the first one.

[00:13:56] I don't know.

[00:13:57] Isn't that wild?

[00:14:03] Just the smile across the experience.

[00:14:05] That's something else.

[00:14:07] That's my commentary.

[00:14:10] As a professional broadcaster.

[00:14:12] People are turning in to hear me be like,

[00:14:15] damn, this...

[00:14:16] To hear you smile.

[00:14:17] Whoo!

[00:14:18] For watching...

[00:14:19] I'm just kidding.

[00:14:20] I know.

[00:14:21] That's a...

[00:14:22] You're a fucking...

[00:14:23] You're a fucking...

[00:14:24] To hear you smile.

[00:14:27] That's fucking...

[00:14:28] That ain't funny.

[00:14:30] I don't know what it is.

[00:14:32] Somebody screwed the pooch on that one.

[00:14:34] Someone absolutely...

[00:14:35] Somebody butts the pooch.

[00:14:37] Fuck the pumpkin.

[00:14:40] Somebody had sex.

[00:14:42] Someone molested the fucking dingo.

[00:14:46] Yeah.

[00:14:47] The dingo sucked my baby.

[00:14:49] Sucked my baby.

[00:14:50] I wonder if that happens in Australia right now.

[00:14:53] If a dog can suck a dick.

[00:14:55] Yeah, if a dog sucks baby's dicks and that's...

[00:14:58] Can you take a dog's teeth out and have a something big?

[00:15:01] They're too...

[00:15:02] They're canine.

[00:15:03] But that's what I'm saying.

[00:15:04] What if you remove the dog's teeth, all of its teeth?

[00:15:06] It's still not a nicely shaped mouth for a bloodshot.

[00:15:09] But believe me, I've thought about it.

[00:15:11] We think that that's shaped mouth.

[00:15:12] This is a thing.

[00:15:13] This is a question you could put on Reddit

[00:15:15] and make the front page.

[00:15:16] Somebody would be like,

[00:15:17] a biologist here.

[00:15:18] Yeah.

[00:15:19] Dogs as obliga carnivores actually have

[00:15:22] four incisors that people are like,

[00:15:25] this is you win the internet for the day.

[00:15:27] Congrats sir.

[00:15:29] Here's a flare.

[00:15:30] Have my gold sir.

[00:15:32] I mean gold.

[00:15:33] It would be great if somehow if you went on Reddit,

[00:15:39] you died immediately.

[00:15:41] That would be awesome.

[00:15:43] Like all of the people that use it now,

[00:15:46] you just die.

[00:15:48] Even Christina checks it sometimes.

[00:15:50] I wouldn't want her to die with the dope bones.

[00:15:52] Even like the non, like honestly,

[00:15:53] the toxic Reddit is one thing,

[00:15:55] but the non-toxic just like people sharing picks of like.

[00:15:59] That's a million times worse.

[00:16:00] It's worse.

[00:16:01] A cat.

[00:16:02] It's way worse.

[00:16:03] Yeah.

[00:16:04] I used to think our severance was pretty bad

[00:16:05] until I went to the Chappo one and it's.

[00:16:06] Oh, the Chappo one is brutal.

[00:16:07] It's the most embarrassing thing I've ever seen.

[00:16:09] Yeah, it is really brutal.

[00:16:10] Yeah.

[00:16:11] I mean Reddit is very gay.

[00:16:12] Anyway, you slice it.

[00:16:13] It's one of the gayest things you could possibly do

[00:16:15] through time.

[00:16:16] Except for making magic eye carpets

[00:16:19] and beating off to them.

[00:16:20] Yeah, that's pretty cool.

[00:16:21] That's actually nice again.

[00:16:22] I do think now collecting all of the novelty Reese's.

[00:16:25] Oh, the egg brother.

[00:16:26] I just had a Reese's egg the first time.

[00:16:28] Yeah.

[00:16:29] We just we just wise.

[00:16:30] Oh, I'm damn.

[00:16:31] Wise to Adam to the Reese's egg.

[00:16:33] Pretty good, dude.

[00:16:34] I'm thinking about converting to Easter.

[00:16:36] The egg is unbelievable because it's the only one

[00:16:39] that has the correct ratio of peanut butter.

[00:16:41] Yeah.

[00:16:42] Every other fucking.

[00:16:43] You don't think the cup does?

[00:16:44] No.

[00:16:45] Too much chocolate.

[00:16:46] The miniatures.

[00:16:47] That mouthful of fucking peanut butter.

[00:16:49] Reese's miniatures are good.

[00:16:50] Miniatures are good as well.

[00:16:52] Miniatures aren't Reese's pieces.

[00:16:54] Try this one, Adam.

[00:16:55] Okay.

[00:16:56] Just give me chocolate.

[00:16:57] That's the mini egg.

[00:16:58] Mini eggs chocolate.

[00:16:59] Mini eggs pretty good.

[00:17:00] I'm going to eat this as much chocolate as I can.

[00:17:02] This is just chocolate afterwards.

[00:17:04] Thanks buddy.

[00:17:05] I'll wash the palate.

[00:17:06] I'll wash down the Reese's.

[00:17:08] Yeah.

[00:17:09] I got some M&M eggs too.

[00:17:10] If you want to try those.

[00:17:11] Okay.

[00:17:12] What are those about?

[00:17:13] It's an M&M but it's bigger.

[00:17:15] Oh, hell yeah.

[00:17:16] I remember that night we hit all that blow at that Halloween party and I was eating those giant M&Ms.

[00:17:20] I remember that night.

[00:17:21] Yeah.

[00:17:22] That was the night that we lost what's his name in the bathroom.

[00:17:24] Oh, so that I moved into my new place like four years ago?

[00:17:27] It was the.

[00:17:28] That was like a big party.

[00:17:29] I was in the.

[00:17:30] And everyone had sex.

[00:17:31] No, no, no.

[00:17:32] That was the next Halloween.

[00:17:33] That was the best night of my life.

[00:17:34] God, I'm so mad at that.

[00:17:35] That was one of the worst nights in my life.

[00:17:36] It was the best party I've ever been to.

[00:17:38] Which party was I there?

[00:17:39] Stop talking about it.

[00:17:40] It was in this like man.

[00:17:41] It was like in four green in this like four story like row house that they had the whole thing

[00:17:45] to themselves.

[00:17:46] Because I never.

[00:17:47] Every floor had like a different thing.

[00:17:48] Was I there?

[00:17:49] I don't remember.

[00:17:50] But my friend my one friend Sawyer took way too much molly.

[00:17:53] It was just.

[00:17:54] He sucked you all feeling his hands and stuff.

[00:17:57] He's like you know, but he like took over the whole.

[00:17:59] You guys were making out.

[00:18:00] You kiss and have sex with Sawyer.

[00:18:01] I was like, I love being Jewish.

[00:18:03] I was with the best night of my life.

[00:18:05] My male friend Sawyer.

[00:18:06] I love having birthright.

[00:18:07] Kissing in the third floor bathroom of a mansion for green.

[00:18:11] I love going on real birthright.

[00:18:13] That might have been the last time I did MDMA.

[00:18:17] Why?

[00:18:18] Because you did real birthright.

[00:18:19] You did.

[00:18:20] You did.

[00:18:21] Mandic Manass.

[00:18:22] Yeah, of course.

[00:18:23] This should be a gay birthright.

[00:18:24] It's just doing Molly at a bathright on the low reset.

[00:18:28] Oh no, there's legitimately like birthright has gay buses.

[00:18:32] Yeah.

[00:18:33] Oh.

[00:18:34] For like if you're gay, you can go do birthright with other gay.

[00:18:37] Really?

[00:18:38] I'm going to pitch that device.

[00:18:39] Because they want you to fuck.

[00:18:40] I did Molly a gay birthright.

[00:18:42] Yeah.

[00:18:43] I got rape by the kid.

[00:18:44] All I got is old Jewish kids.

[00:18:46] His damn.

[00:18:47] The pizza was wack.

[00:18:49] But that...

[00:18:52] But the dick-ing, those fuckers.

[00:18:53] You know I really don't like that fact I was a tattoo's that cooks.

[00:18:56] I don't either.

[00:18:57] I don't like it for personal reasons.

[00:18:59] Matty Matheson.

[00:19:00] That's it.

[00:19:01] The device has some big fat guy with a bunch of tattoos.

[00:19:04] Just because Austin was filled with those guys.

[00:19:07] You know, like I'm the big fat tattoo guy.

[00:19:10] Just an action, Ronston.

[00:19:12] I'm a big fat tattoo.

[00:19:13] That drink nothing but PBRs and I'm really into cooking.

[00:19:18] Yeah.

[00:19:19] Yeah, I agree.

[00:19:20] Personally, it's more of a professional rivalry than I have with him.

[00:19:25] I'd love to be a trained chef who has a cooking show.

[00:19:29] So I'm jealous more than anything.

[00:19:31] But I also don't like his Canadian high voice.

[00:19:33] Oh, he's Canadian?

[00:19:34] Yeah.

[00:19:35] I'm saying it more.

[00:19:36] You don't fuck with Canada?

[00:19:38] No, dude.

[00:19:40] I didn't like it there.

[00:19:41] I confuse him with there's some Jackass knockoff show that's on MTV.

[00:19:46] Dirty Sanchez?

[00:19:47] No, it's...

[00:19:48] Do you remember that show?

[00:19:50] I think it's called Too Stupid to Die.

[00:19:52] What?

[00:19:53] Really?

[00:19:54] It's more Jackass and it's different guys and it's bad.

[00:19:57] That sucks.

[00:19:58] The prank's starting to...

[00:19:59] Jackass is the guy it was.

[00:20:00] I mean, there was a time and a place for that show.

[00:20:03] Yeah, I agree.

[00:20:04] The original Jackass came out now and be like this,

[00:20:07] what the fuck is this?

[00:20:09] You know?

[00:20:10] Plus those guys were awesome.

[00:20:12] Yeah.

[00:20:13] I don't want Fat tattoo guys to be my Jackass guys.

[00:20:15] I want one incredibly obese man.

[00:20:18] Party boy.

[00:20:19] And then I want party boy.

[00:20:20] And I want Steve-o.

[00:20:21] I want Bam's.

[00:20:22] Blue.

[00:20:23] Retarti boy.

[00:20:24] Retarti boy.

[00:20:25] He takes his pants off and becomes retarded in a Japanese electronic store.

[00:20:30] Dude, I watched the...

[00:20:31] I want a hidden camera show where we have people with Down syndrome that act as police officers

[00:20:35] and we imprison people.

[00:20:37] We have people with Down syndrome and prison regular people and subject them to like horrible treatment.

[00:20:42] And we record everything.

[00:20:44] People are like, what the fuck is going on?

[00:20:46] Yeah, it sounds terrible.

[00:20:48] Yeah.

[00:20:49] You know?

[00:20:50] Wait, what's the...

[00:20:51] Is that just it?

[00:20:53] Oh, it's funny.

[00:20:54] Oh, that is funny.

[00:20:55] Is the experiment...

[00:20:56] Will they stop the retarded people from arrest?

[00:20:59] There's no way to stop.

[00:21:00] They can't stop them.

[00:21:01] Because they have done.

[00:21:02] Because it's in a prison.

[00:21:03] Yeah, they would be set up like police officers.

[00:21:06] Paris officers.

[00:21:07] Paris officers.

[00:21:08] I was debating whether I wanted to go into the boys or not.

[00:21:11] I understand.

[00:21:12] I took a half step into it.

[00:21:14] It's okay.

[00:21:15] I'm a police officer.

[00:21:16] Interesting.

[00:21:17] And that...

[00:21:18] Okay.

[00:21:19] Yeah, this is the show.

[00:21:21] Look, look at this still and you can tell how bad the show is.

[00:21:24] Oh my God, that's horrible.

[00:21:25] Based on that still.

[00:21:26] Is that what it was?

[00:21:27] Anyone that ever woos and uses both of their hands to make any kind of gesture?

[00:21:32] Yeah, you used one, dude.

[00:21:34] Yeah, it's about a run.

[00:21:35] And it's maybe a thumbs up at most.

[00:21:38] Maybe a thumbs up or the fucking...

[00:21:41] Or the number one?

[00:21:42] Number one.

[00:21:43] Or the number one.

[00:21:44] I like number one.

[00:21:45] Yeah.

[00:21:46] What about the okay sign?

[00:21:47] It seems like a lot of cool guys are doing that on the...

[00:21:49] Yeah.

[00:21:50] So, that is racist or it's not racist?

[00:21:53] I think it was a troll at first.

[00:21:55] To troll the libs.

[00:21:56] Because the okay sign is awes.

[00:21:58] It's objectively a great sign.

[00:22:00] Like, just aesthetically it's pleasing as fuck to do this.

[00:22:03] But I don't want to be racist.

[00:22:05] Well, you got to bring it back.

[00:22:07] You got to reclaim it, dude.

[00:22:08] No, man, I look to...

[00:22:09] You can't let Jack...

[00:22:10] I look to racist if I'm also doing a thing that's racist.

[00:22:12] You can't let that guy Jack pull a probiotic sex.

[00:22:17] You can't let him have it, dude.

[00:22:19] You got to bring it back to the...

[00:22:21] That guy looks like that other guy, that conservative who's gay to me.

[00:22:24] Yeah, that's the only way to look.

[00:22:26] This is one single finger extended.

[00:22:29] You're in dex finger extended out.

[00:22:31] Oh, Isis doing it.

[00:22:32] Yeah, yeah.

[00:22:33] What did you search to get that?

[00:22:34] Isis does...

[00:22:35] We are number one.

[00:22:36] Yeah, they do a single finger extended.

[00:22:39] That's their sign?

[00:22:40] Yeah, usually they'll hold it.

[00:22:41] I like the flex.

[00:22:42] Oh, you know what, I'll flex.

[00:22:43] I think a number one is good.

[00:22:45] Number one's good.

[00:22:47] Middle finger.

[00:22:49] Yeah, here we go.

[00:22:50] Here's me.

[00:22:51] That looks cool, dude.

[00:22:53] Yeah, I know it does.

[00:22:54] Oh, man, an Isis guy holding up a gun and doing one finger looks on.

[00:22:57] I do like the reverse middle finger.

[00:22:59] You hold your finger.

[00:23:00] Like this?

[00:23:01] Yeah, pointing.

[00:23:02] Oh, that's cool.

[00:23:03] Like you're flicking yourself off.

[00:23:04] Yeah, you do that to people and they don't know what's going on.

[00:23:06] Yeah, that is weird.

[00:23:07] It looks fucked up.

[00:23:08] Yeah, about that.

[00:23:09] Get off my fucking train.

[00:23:11] It looks kind of like a...

[00:23:13] Like a reverse...

[00:23:14] You can do two middle fingers if there's stone cold style with a thumb out.

[00:23:17] Yeah.

[00:23:18] Can you do this?

[00:23:19] Live long and bopper.

[00:23:20] Yeah.

[00:23:21] Mm-hmm.

[00:23:22] Live long.

[00:23:23] Fuck.

[00:23:24] Thank you for being here.

[00:23:25] Fuck for a while.

[00:23:26] And prosper.

[00:23:27] Oh.

[00:23:28] Cook.

[00:23:29] I just found out that I'm gay.

[00:23:31] Did you guys see the mayor of Baltimore?

[00:23:34] I did.

[00:23:35] Yeah, that's hilarious.

[00:23:36] Was doing a children's book scam.

[00:23:38] Just selling fake books.

[00:23:39] What do you mean?

[00:23:40] Like she's...

[00:23:41] No, she's on the board of like a bunch of different things or whatever.

[00:23:45] Basically, she like was giving herself kickbacks, but she sold like the school system or something.

[00:23:51] A hundred thousand copies of a self published book.

[00:23:54] Mm-hmm.

[00:23:55] Meanwhile, it's like there's no way there's even a hundred thousand kids in that entire

[00:23:58] school system.

[00:23:59] What?

[00:24:00] The Baltimore City Public School system?

[00:24:02] Yeah, that doesn't add up.

[00:24:03] A hundred...

[00:24:04] Elementary school age kids?

[00:24:05] No way.

[00:24:06] What's the total population?

[00:24:07] Probably six or seven hundred thousand?

[00:24:08] I don't know.

[00:24:09] And you think all of them are in between the ages of five and nine?

[00:24:13] No way.

[00:24:14] Yeah, you're right.

[00:24:15] Yeah.

[00:24:16] And it's also like schools don't have a book for every fucking child.

[00:24:20] Yeah, they don't have any science books, but they have enough...

[00:24:22] Three copies of any book in a fucking library.

[00:24:25] It doesn't make any...

[00:24:26] Like the math just doesn't...

[00:24:27] Was it her book that she wrote or just some book?

[00:24:29] Yeah, yeah.

[00:24:30] Her book.

[00:24:31] Her book that she wrote and like not only...

[00:24:32] Okay.

[00:24:33] Like, I don't know.

[00:24:34] I think the sun...

[00:24:35] That's the scamming.

[00:24:36] The sun did some investigation.

[00:24:37] They can't find any copies of the book.

[00:24:38] Like, it just doesn't...

[00:24:39] There's no record of it.

[00:24:40] She's like...

[00:24:41] The feds just did a sweep, dude.

[00:24:43] Yeah.

[00:24:44] I mean, she got like a kickback of like...

[00:24:45] She sold like a half a million dollars worth of this book.

[00:24:48] That was the scamming college where professors would make you buy their book.

[00:24:51] As required reading.

[00:24:53] I respected that every time they did that.

[00:24:56] Get that bag.

[00:24:57] Yeah.

[00:24:58] That shit is so funny with what's her name?

[00:25:01] Lori Loughlin or Loughlin or Loughlin or...

[00:25:04] Oh, yeah.

[00:25:05] On back to the full house.

[00:25:06] Yeah.

[00:25:07] On Becky.

[00:25:08] She like thought the prosecutor was bluffing.

[00:25:11] They offered her like a plea deal.

[00:25:13] And then they're like, you know this is in television.

[00:25:16] Right?

[00:25:17] That's the plea deal.

[00:25:18] Now she's just going to go to prison.

[00:25:22] Damn.

[00:25:23] How long is Felicity Houghlin?

[00:25:24] She's facing like 20 years.

[00:25:25] No, Felicity Houghlin, I think, saw that that dumb bitch did that.

[00:25:28] Yeah.

[00:25:29] And is like, will we get a fine or some shit?

[00:25:31] No, she's going to probably fucking face prison time.

[00:25:33] I think she's going to get house arrest or something.

[00:25:35] She'll go to a nice prison.

[00:25:36] You know, like a Martha Stewart situation.

[00:25:38] Yeah, the lobster and tennis prison.

[00:25:40] Damn.

[00:25:41] There's probably some fine bitches that did white collar crime over there.

[00:25:45] Oh my god.

[00:25:46] Using each other's pussy's and shit.

[00:25:48] You know they would love to see on Becky get her pussy.

[00:25:52] They fuck more than the guys prisons.

[00:25:55] The girls prisons?

[00:25:56] Yeah.

[00:25:57] And they love, they love every now and then.

[00:26:00] They're loving.

[00:26:01] Damn.

[00:26:02] For real?

[00:26:03] Yeah, but they all like have the couple of.

[00:26:05] Look at this dumb bitch's face too.

[00:26:08] She's hot.

[00:26:09] What am I supposed to see about Becky?

[00:26:12] I would get, I would love to get Becky from on Becky.

[00:26:14] Just thinking she's never going to go to prison.

[00:26:17] Yeah, it is awesome.

[00:26:18] Of course I'm not.

[00:26:19] Of course I won't go to prison.

[00:26:22] I was John Stamos's fake wife.

[00:26:23] Yeah.

[00:26:24] 18 years ago.

[00:26:25] Right.

[00:26:26] Hm, another Reese's egg?

[00:26:28] Mini egg, why not?

[00:26:29] Yeah, I think you have to.

[00:26:30] You can't get the power.

[00:26:31] It clarified that you're having the mini one.

[00:26:33] Just so the people listening go take it.

[00:26:35] No, no, it's for you.

[00:26:36] I don't want to take too many of your main eggs.

[00:26:37] Please eat them.

[00:26:38] I got them.

[00:26:39] I got a nice dish in a candy bowl.

[00:26:40] I wanted to serve candy to my friends.

[00:26:42] My wrong.

[00:26:44] I appreciate the candies.

[00:26:45] The mini egg is great.

[00:26:46] Yeah.

[00:26:47] The bowl of treats for guests.

[00:26:49] If you're just joining us, you're listening to the candy eating podcast.

[00:26:52] We're three young men trying to figure out their 20s.

[00:26:57] That's right.

[00:26:58] And also try to try out all different kinds of candy.

[00:27:02] And this is recorded live in Bushwick.

[00:27:04] All three of us are graduates of the UCB 101 sketch writing program.

[00:27:08] That's right.

[00:27:09] And we are headed to your house, Mr. Mike Berbiglia, to rape and murder you and your

[00:27:14] family.

[00:27:15] And become your friend and take your.

[00:27:18] Well, those are your two options.

[00:27:19] Either the door a to do or family or classic.

[00:27:23] Yeah.

[00:27:24] As we were trained at UCB to rape them by Aaron Glaser, the teacher at UCB.

[00:27:30] I can't believe he's still he's still the head of the UCB.

[00:27:33] He's still the head of UCB.

[00:27:35] Well, of the right department.

[00:27:36] And he's back and he said, I'm back and I'm raping more than ever.

[00:27:40] That guy's weird.

[00:27:42] That guy's such a weirdo.

[00:27:44] He's really weird.

[00:27:45] He's an odd duck.

[00:27:48] Real strange guy.

[00:27:50] Yeah.

[00:27:51] Real odd ball.

[00:27:52] That's literally what like when someone's grandfather molested people they would say.

[00:28:00] Yeah.

[00:28:01] It would be great if like every sketch at UCB is like dumb, like whatever dumb bullshit

[00:28:05] they're doing and Aaron comes out in a dog costume.

[00:28:07] He's like, I'm already the dog.

[00:28:09] And he's like just pinning the women down on the floor and humbling them.

[00:28:12] It's the sketch.

[00:28:13] Yeah.

[00:28:14] He's doing a sketch.

[00:28:15] I'm playing horny the dog.

[00:28:19] That's essentially what James Franco's acting class, I think, was like.

[00:28:21] Yeah.

[00:28:22] He would just come out as horny the dog.

[00:28:23] James Franco's hot.

[00:28:24] Yeah.

[00:28:25] That is good.

[00:28:26] He was hot.

[00:28:27] Everyone he was like trying to have sex with a 13 year old people like, I can't believe

[00:28:30] this.

[00:28:31] And like, yeah, it's, you know, hot people just do whatever they want.

[00:28:34] Yeah.

[00:28:35] Is he not supposed to fuck a 13 year old?

[00:28:37] He's like, damn, you're so smart.

[00:28:41] Was it a 13?

[00:28:42] Yeah, it was a 15 year old girl.

[00:28:44] He's like, damn, you're chill.

[00:28:46] You're chill.

[00:28:47] You're fucking chill, dude.

[00:28:48] I'm chill Franco.

[00:28:49] You think Dave Franco's like, oh man.

[00:28:51] Yeah, Dave Franco.

[00:28:52] When is James only get to fuck the hot?

[00:28:55] Dave Franco's.

[00:28:56] No, he's fucking Allison Breed, dude.

[00:28:58] Ooh.

[00:28:59] He's married to her.

[00:29:00] That's right.

[00:29:01] We talked about that.

[00:29:02] Allison's got the score.

[00:29:03] She's got the perfect titties.

[00:29:04] Breed me off, you know what I'm saying?

[00:29:05] Rub Bre all over my dick.

[00:29:06] I like that.

[00:29:07] I like that.

[00:29:08] I breathe on my asshole.

[00:29:09] Do you like a nice, when you're bald?

[00:29:11] Yeah.

[00:29:12] I feel like I'm trying to squeeze you like, ha.

[00:29:16] Yo, the shiny is nuts a ball time.

[00:29:21] You like your balls right through the bowling ball machine?

[00:29:24] Yeah.

[00:29:25] You're right.

[00:29:26] I like taking a towel under my balls and just, oh yeah, that is a good move legitimately.

[00:29:32] So he's like, who got period blood all over the towels?

[00:29:35] And it's like that woman in her vagina.

[00:29:37] I'm there, I'll point at you.

[00:29:40] Adam.

[00:29:41] My balls bleed out of me.

[00:29:43] My mouth was bleeding the other day randomly.

[00:29:45] From what?

[00:29:46] Gotcha.

[00:29:47] Yeah.

[00:29:48] I wasn't listening.

[00:29:49] Yeah.

[00:29:50] I'm sorry.

[00:29:51] I was looking at the Ferris wheel on the screen.

[00:29:52] Yeah, it's a cool pick, huh?

[00:29:54] Where is that even you say?

[00:29:55] I love cool picks.

[00:29:56] I love to see cool ass pictures.

[00:30:00] Yeah.

[00:30:01] It is funny that this is just a screen saver because like 10 years ago I would like this

[00:30:05] would just be worth watching.

[00:30:06] I mean, it is worth watching.

[00:30:08] Yeah.

[00:30:09] I've seen all of these.

[00:30:10] What are you going to do?

[00:30:11] Live your life.

[00:30:12] And it's still entertaining.

[00:30:13] You watch TV, not a screen saver.

[00:30:16] I don't know.

[00:30:17] I watch a bit of Prometheus today.

[00:30:18] Oh yeah?

[00:30:19] Yeah.

[00:30:20] I re-watch Prometheus.

[00:30:21] I never saw it.

[00:30:22] It's not good, but.

[00:30:25] Now that's in the same movie system as Alien and Aliens.

[00:30:29] Yeah.

[00:30:30] So you got Alien, Aliens, Alien Resurrection.

[00:30:35] Damn, I want to see the first one.

[00:30:37] I can't believe the three.

[00:30:40] Aliens was the second one.

[00:30:42] I thought I was watching the first one.

[00:30:44] No.

[00:30:45] I can't wait to see the first one now.

[00:30:47] Have you not seen the first one?

[00:30:49] I only saw the one where Paul Reiser is being a villainous.

[00:30:52] You know what?

[00:30:53] Yeah, that's the second one.

[00:30:54] I thought that.

[00:30:55] It feels like the first one.

[00:30:56] Mad about you.

[00:30:57] Mad about you.

[00:30:58] Mad about Aliens.

[00:30:59] What if, huh?

[00:31:00] What is?

[00:31:01] That's sketch.

[00:31:02] Now that's something to think about.

[00:31:04] That would be something.

[00:31:06] Hell and I'm telling you, there's Aliens on the ship and Iris coming over for Passover.

[00:31:11] And we're having dinner with the Aliens.

[00:31:15] Classic setup.

[00:31:16] Well, classic bit.

[00:31:17] Paul, I have a headache.

[00:31:19] What is stupid?

[00:31:21] Mad about you.

[00:31:23] The fucking gay ass shows.

[00:31:27] That show truly sucked dick.

[00:31:29] Yeah.

[00:31:30] But I watched it.

[00:31:31] I watched every episode of that show.

[00:31:32] I didn't watch every episode, but I loved it as a little kid because I was like, damn,

[00:31:35] I love grown up stuff.

[00:31:36] I was like, yeah, my kid.

[00:31:37] This is funny as shit.

[00:31:38] Yeah.

[00:31:39] It was very good.

[00:31:40] Don't fucking watch it.

[00:31:41] I was like, you fucking idiot stuff.

[00:31:42] You don't even see it.

[00:31:43] Immigrants don't.

[00:31:44] You don't know.

[00:31:45] You don't know.

[00:31:46] It's like to do adult stuff.

[00:31:48] Like have breakfast.

[00:31:50] Literally, yes.

[00:31:51] That's what I was doing.

[00:31:53] What a grown up stuff happens on the show.

[00:31:58] I don't know.

[00:31:59] This liking the show was like, yeah, I'm an adult who watched that.

[00:32:01] Yeah, there weren't kids on that show.

[00:32:03] Right?

[00:32:04] I'm all adults.

[00:32:05] That makes sense.

[00:32:06] I know.

[00:32:07] I was like, seven, but it makes sense.

[00:32:09] And I was like, yep, I'm an adult.

[00:32:11] And it was also like me being superior to my immigrant parents.

[00:32:14] We didn't watch American TV.

[00:32:16] I was like, yeah, you butch your fucking fresh off the boat.

[00:32:19] Morons wouldn't get the American nuance of Paul Reiser.

[00:32:22] I don't know.

[00:32:23] Maybe they are.

[00:32:24] Yeah.

[00:32:25] I would watch it.

[00:32:26] I watched the reruns on fucking.

[00:32:28] I just remember that Phoebe was in it as their twin sister.

[00:32:30] It's a similar.

[00:32:31] It's the same universe.

[00:32:32] Yeah, as friends.

[00:32:33] They should reboot it, dude.

[00:32:35] Yeah.

[00:32:36] Well, they had about you extended universe.

[00:32:37] They would have crossovers.

[00:32:38] I think Gunther is on both shows.

[00:32:40] Nah.

[00:32:41] Or they go to Central Perk at some point.

[00:32:42] Oh, now we're talking.

[00:32:44] That's the kind of love.

[00:32:45] Hell, look at this restaurant I found at the coffee shop and they let Jews in here.

[00:32:49] Irish coming over.

[00:32:50] We're having a pass over coffee.

[00:32:51] But Paul, why are they hitting?

[00:32:54] Because you're a women.

[00:33:06] I am a woman.

[00:33:13] Mm-hmm.

[00:33:17] You can use a little zip lock, blah, blah.

[00:33:20] What's that?

[00:33:21] The premise is like it's hard to date a Jewish man or something.

[00:33:24] I don't know.

[00:33:25] It's just like gay relationship stuff.

[00:33:27] It's probably some fucking loser couple

[00:33:29] that wrote the show and they're like,

[00:33:30] well, let's read a show about how sometimes

[00:33:32] I wear your sweatpants.

[00:33:34] I mean, it sucks.

[00:33:36] It's just fucking shit.

[00:33:38] Wow, Nick, you're getting a little hot.

[00:33:40] You're getting worked up, brother.

[00:33:41] Yeah. Getting tight.

[00:33:43] Yeah.

[00:33:45] Yeah, I never really watched it

[00:33:46] because I thought it was for adults.

[00:33:48] I didn't think I was allowed to do it.

[00:33:49] You weren't insured like me.

[00:33:50] I like kids stuff.

[00:33:51] I like kids stuff.

[00:33:52] Kids rule, you know?

[00:33:53] As a kid, as a precocious young kid.

[00:33:56] I always wanted adults to ask me why I liked Applejack's.

[00:33:58] Even though they didn't taste like apples.

[00:33:59] They never did because they don't give a shit.

[00:34:01] Dude, I know what you mean.

[00:34:03] Yeah.

[00:34:03] I was waiting for that and to be asked about,

[00:34:06] for my dad to try and make tricks.

[00:34:07] Second, I could be like, you know what, motherfucker?

[00:34:08] I don't even like Applejack's.

[00:34:10] It tastes like shit.

[00:34:12] Applejack's were good.

[00:34:13] Dude, I really wanted an adult to eat tricks.

[00:34:16] I could be like, tricks are for kids.

[00:34:18] Yeah.

[00:34:19] I remember getting Applejack's one time

[00:34:20] because on the commercial they said there was like a,

[00:34:23] a camera that came in the box.

[00:34:24] Oh, nice.

[00:34:25] And you're going to set it up and watch your sister's change?

[00:34:28] Yeah.

[00:34:30] No, it's like a disposable camera that came in.

[00:34:32] I had no idea how much of disposable camera is worth.

[00:34:34] But I was like, damn.

[00:34:35] That's a good deal.

[00:34:36] But it's kind of like we have to mail in proof of purchase.

[00:34:38] Yeah, you did.

[00:34:39] I hated that shit.

[00:34:40] I know.

[00:34:40] I was like, what the fuck?

[00:34:41] On the commercials, they always said it was in the box.

[00:34:44] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:34:45] And then you had to fucking buy like 12 boxes

[00:34:47] and mail in proof of purchase.

[00:34:48] I think that when you only had to buy the one.

[00:34:50] But I remember having those Applejack's and they sucked.

[00:34:53] It was fucking gay shit, honestly, if you asked me.

[00:34:55] And it's just a disposable camera with an Applejack's like wrapper on it.

[00:35:01] What a dumb promotion to you.

[00:35:03] But I worked on you.

[00:35:04] But it worked on your dumb ass.

[00:35:05] I know, because they lied to me.

[00:35:07] No, it would have worked either way.

[00:35:09] Well, you know what children love?

[00:35:10] Disposable cameras.

[00:35:14] They do.

[00:35:15] I remember that was big, dude.

[00:35:16] Getting a little Kodak zip zip zip shit.

[00:35:18] You remember tearing the thing off and using it as a taser?

[00:35:21] No.

[00:35:22] Oh.

[00:35:23] I remember hitting it and making it flash.

[00:35:25] Like if you just made it down.

[00:35:27] You could also take the fucking wrapper off.

[00:35:29] And there's like a flat, I don't know

[00:35:30] whether it's a capacitor or what the fuck it is.

[00:35:32] It looks capacitor.

[00:35:33] But it's like, there's a thing on there

[00:35:36] that stores the charge for the flash.

[00:35:38] But you can charge the flash and hold it

[00:35:39] against someone's skin and it'll taste them.

[00:35:41] Whoa.

[00:35:42] It'll burn them, yeah.

[00:35:43] How many times should you do that?

[00:35:45] I'll do it.

[00:35:45] It's not when I was a kid.

[00:35:46] Yeah.

[00:35:46] If you had disposable cameras around,

[00:35:48] you'd chase around, you know, whoever, girls.

[00:35:52] Like we'll see how it feels when it happens at you.

[00:35:54] That's right.

[00:35:55] Then when you get older and you try to ward off

[00:35:58] as romantic gentlemen, one of my Indian associates

[00:36:02] just trying to get a little smooch.

[00:36:03] Oh, so you're doing it as like kind of a?

[00:36:05] Yeah.

[00:36:05] That's kind of like a on behalf of all men.

[00:36:08] It was raising my hand and third then.

[00:36:09] But then now you need it to come.

[00:36:11] Isn't criticizing rape racist against Indian men?

[00:36:14] Yeah.

[00:36:16] That's one of that's a Simpsons episode, actually.

[00:36:19] Yeah.

[00:36:19] Let's Lisa's point.

[00:36:22] Mr. Simpson, raping women is something

[00:36:24] that is very important to me.

[00:36:26] But a poo.

[00:36:29] Lisa's eight.

[00:36:32] Mr. Simpson, it is my culture.

[00:36:35] Dad, it's part of their culture.

[00:36:36] Yeah, Simpson, a harry-countable

[00:36:39] who wrote a special episode of Simpson.

[00:36:43] Is that what he was upset about that they didn't include

[00:36:45] that part of the culture?

[00:36:46] Yeah.

[00:36:47] How come a poo is in a millionaire that rapes Lisa?

[00:36:51] That isn't calling up Lisa all day long.

[00:36:54] It's threatening to have sex with her.

[00:36:59] I don't think that's what he was mad about, honestly.

[00:37:01] What was he mad about?

[00:37:03] I think the voice, not the fact that a poo wasn't

[00:37:05] a rapeist on the show.

[00:37:07] But he thought that that was bad.

[00:37:10] Yeah, I mean, it is fucked up.

[00:37:11] I mean, everyone knows no Indian people actually talk like that.

[00:37:15] There's no Indian guys that sound like a poo.

[00:37:16] Yeah, not a single.

[00:37:17] It's a silly stereotype.

[00:37:19] No one's ever had that voice.

[00:37:21] Yeah, no one's ever talk.

[00:37:21] Ever.

[00:37:23] The first time you see a poo, you're like, what the hell is it?

[00:37:26] What kind of guy is it?

[00:37:27] An alien?

[00:37:29] Is he supposed to be from outer space?

[00:37:32] And then you meet actual Indian people and you're like,

[00:37:34] oh, I thought you were supposed to sound like a poo.

[00:37:36] And they're like, no, that is just a racist stereotype

[00:37:39] from the show.

[00:37:42] No one actually sounds like that.

[00:37:44] Yeah, the B guy, though.

[00:37:45] A lot of Mexicans sound like him.

[00:37:48] Yeah.

[00:37:49] That's true.

[00:37:49] No one's mad about the B guy.

[00:37:50] No one's standing out for the B guy at all.

[00:37:53] Mexicans are like, hey, look, we got a guy on the show.

[00:37:56] That's funny, man.

[00:37:57] Damn, I will take Mexicans over.

[00:38:00] Actually, it's probably not a good idea

[00:38:01] to rank your favorite races now that I think about it.

[00:38:04] I will.

[00:38:06] That's true.

[00:38:07] So they go number one.

[00:38:08] People are outside.

[00:38:09] That's all I got to say.

[00:38:10] Yeah.

[00:38:11] Yeah.

[00:38:12] I've been having a lot of tacos, too, just as a point of fact.

[00:38:16] El Taco.

[00:38:18] That's your cartel name.

[00:38:20] El Taco.

[00:38:20] Motaco, burrito.

[00:38:24] I love all types of tacos, dude.

[00:38:25] Give me some Languo.

[00:38:26] Give me some motherfucking Cabesa.

[00:38:29] I love getting Cabesa, dude.

[00:38:31] Yeah.

[00:38:32] You know what I'm saying?

[00:38:33] I like that.

[00:38:34] I like outpassed door tacos and tingered arrays.

[00:38:37] Yeah, I like what is tingered arrays?

[00:38:39] I don't know.

[00:38:40] Some type of fucking sauce.

[00:38:43] No, I'm just saying Cabesa because it means tingered arrays.

[00:38:46] It's spicy.

[00:38:47] Yeah, I like to get head as well.

[00:38:48] I don't even remember what type of meat it is.

[00:38:49] I just know that I love tingered arrays tacos

[00:38:51] and I love outpassed door tacos.

[00:38:53] Outpassed storage.

[00:38:54] Outpassed storage is the best.

[00:38:55] Yeah.

[00:38:56] Can you throw me a little pineapple in that motherfucker?

[00:38:58] You know what that shit's from?

[00:39:00] The Lebanese immigrants to Mexico.

[00:39:02] Shut up.

[00:39:03] That's how they made you care.

[00:39:06] So warm.

[00:39:07] Unless it's a funny, you know what that's from, don't bother.

[00:39:11] But I thought last time I did that,

[00:39:13] you said it was totally random.

[00:39:15] Don't do a so random joke and also don't tell us

[00:39:18] what the actual thing is.

[00:39:20] It's Lebanese.

[00:39:20] I know that.

[00:39:21] I know that because I watched that Netflix issue.

[00:39:23] Maybe we could build off a Lebanese Mexican.

[00:39:27] You know, as like a bit.

[00:39:28] OK, maybe we could do that.

[00:39:30] Also, you got tingered arrays.

[00:39:32] All right.

[00:39:33] You know where that's from.

[00:39:34] Go for it.

[00:39:37] Hang with me.

[00:39:38] What is it?

[00:39:39] I don't know.

[00:39:40] Scary clown.

[00:39:41] That's scary clown.

[00:39:42] That's scary clown.

[00:39:44] Scary clown.

[00:39:44] Scary clown.

[00:39:45] Yeah.

[00:39:46] Right.

[00:39:47] That's scary clown, Steve.

[00:39:51] You could say it tingered the Ray Charles.

[00:39:54] OK.

[00:39:55] Yeah.

[00:39:55] Ray Charles actually invented it because he was blind.

[00:39:58] And he would use his blindness and excuse to stick his fingers

[00:40:03] in women's pussies.

[00:40:04] So the sauce is pussies?

[00:40:06] So they had to invent a taco that felt like pussy.

[00:40:09] OK.

[00:40:10] To trick Ray Charles.

[00:40:12] So he just fucked the line finger.

[00:40:15] Tingled from blind finger.

[00:40:16] Tingled means tickle in Spanish.

[00:40:19] Chinese.

[00:40:20] In Chinese.

[00:40:20] Mm-hmm.

[00:40:23] So tingled arrays means the tickle of Ray Charles.

[00:40:26] Oh, OK.

[00:40:27] OK.

[00:40:29] Yeah.

[00:40:30] No, not particularly funny, but also more of a departure

[00:40:33] from so random stuff.

[00:40:35] I get that.

[00:40:36] No, it's not just where the Lebanese thing came from.

[00:40:39] Yeah.

[00:40:40] You know.

[00:40:41] That's what I mean.

[00:40:42] What a...

[00:40:43] I would like to see from a horny standpoint, a woman who was half

[00:40:47] Lebanese, half Mexican.

[00:40:49] And I would like to have sex with her.

[00:40:50] And I would also like to have some Alpastor tacos while I was

[00:40:53] doing it.

[00:40:54] Mm-hmm.

[00:40:55] Just to kind of...

[00:40:56] Here's a good conversation.

[00:40:57] Here's a good question.

[00:40:58] Have you ever considered...

[00:40:59] This is a guy riding the bus by himself.

[00:41:01] She's going, hell yeah.

[00:41:03] Yes.

[00:41:04] It's like...

[00:41:05] What's up?

[00:41:06] Oh, no, I'm just thinking about half Lebanese, half Mexican woman

[00:41:13] and having sex with her.

[00:41:14] And eating.

[00:41:15] Of course you're forgetting.

[00:41:16] And eating.

[00:41:17] And he's eating.

[00:41:18] And he's eating.

[00:41:19] And he's eating tacos.

[00:41:20] Stop.

[00:41:21] Have you ever...

[00:41:22] Hell yeah.

[00:41:23] And fucked.

[00:41:24] Yes, sir.

[00:41:25] Have I ever what?

[00:41:26] I'm separate.

[00:41:27] You've got to keep your life sucked.

[00:41:28] Exactly.

[00:41:29] I have no desire to be eating well fucking well.

[00:41:31] I guess I can't say no desire.

[00:41:33] If there was a piece of cake...

[00:41:34] If it was like a hot day and I'm eating an ice cream cone

[00:41:36] and getting my dick sucked, I suppose that would be awesome.

[00:41:39] But if I'm doing a lot of work and I mean, you know what I mean?

[00:41:42] The best is you get your dick sucked while eating your ice cream cone.

[00:41:46] And then you lick it and the ice cream scoop falls off on her head

[00:41:49] while she's blowing you.

[00:41:50] And then you go...

[00:41:51] You're crying like a baby while getting your dick sucked.

[00:42:12] Probably one with ice cream melting on her fucking head.

[00:42:15] She doesn't know.

[00:42:16] She doesn't know.

[00:42:17] Yeah, they're like...

[00:42:18] You're in the middle of a six flag or whatever.

[00:42:20] Yep.

[00:42:21] She's sitting on a park bench.

[00:42:23] Just diaper around your ankles.

[00:42:28] She was on top stuff.

[00:42:29] She hands you like a small side plate with a perfect slice of cake on it.

[00:42:33] Just puts it on your chest.

[00:42:34] Take it too much.

[00:42:35] I got it for it.

[00:42:36] It's too much?

[00:42:37] It's something...

[00:42:38] First of all, it would have to be something like a hot dog in my hand.

[00:42:40] It's got to be hand held.

[00:42:41] No, but a hot dog sucks, dude.

[00:42:45] That's kind of gay, though.

[00:42:46] That is true.

[00:42:47] Okay.

[00:42:48] How about this?

[00:42:49] I think it hors d'oeuvres with little small hot dogs to make your dick look bigger.

[00:42:53] Yes, exactly.

[00:42:54] It's exactly what I'm thinking.

[00:42:56] Hot tail weenies.

[00:42:57] I'm looking at those little dicks, and not only is my dick bigger, but I eat them.

[00:43:01] You don't want a giant frankfurter to make your...

[00:43:03] No, I look down and I see my little dick compared to the fucking Kielbasa on a fucking

[00:43:08] sourdough roll, no thanks.

[00:43:10] But a little less mini sausage with puff pastry wrapped around it.

[00:43:17] I could have that.

[00:43:19] It's like I'm eating the dicks of my vanquished enemies while having sex.

[00:43:23] Now that I can get behind.

[00:43:24] Yeah, to hear the lamentations of their women, and to eat their dicks.

[00:43:31] So how's that penises?

[00:43:34] Damn, you know what, man?

[00:43:36] Oh, dude, that's the thing.

[00:43:38] There's a party that wants to be smart a little bit at him.

[00:43:40] The thing over here is we're fucking so-

[00:43:43] No, you know what's important for me was this show.

[00:43:47] You should only think you should.

[00:43:48] Seriously, it really has done a lot for me.

[00:43:49] I told my therapist not to that.

[00:43:50] The only thing you should want in life is to be entertained.

[00:43:53] Yeah.

[00:43:54] Yeah.

[00:43:55] And to get your cock rubbed.

[00:43:56] I don't need to fool anyone into things.

[00:43:57] That's why, look, first I tried to get you in on gaming.

[00:44:00] Yeah, I liked it.

[00:44:02] You're going to come around, man.

[00:44:03] You're going to stay there.

[00:44:04] Life is about nothing more than consuming things and hurting the people around you.

[00:44:09] I think I'm well on my way.

[00:44:15] That's true.

[00:44:16] Anyways, please don't ask me to delete all that worry and stuff later.

[00:44:20] No, I don't care.

[00:44:22] Anyway, so I love being stupid as shit, man.

[00:44:24] Yeah, I mean, I think it's better to embrace that than to try to fool people into thinking

[00:44:29] you're smart personally for me.

[00:44:32] Because I'm, you know, all I'm good at is stand up and like, you know, nothing else,

[00:44:38] really.

[00:44:39] Yeah.

[00:44:40] Stand up so stupid and not very trivial bullshit thing.

[00:44:43] I'm good at liking Reese's eggs.

[00:44:45] I'm actually, I'll take that back.

[00:44:46] I'm really good at that also.

[00:44:48] In fact, speaking of which, no, I'll take one for the road after we're done.

[00:44:54] I'll need my energy to drive down to Baltimore.

[00:44:56] What's a typical Greek Easter menu?

[00:44:59] Oh, I can't wait, bro.

[00:45:01] You got a fucking love Easter Easter.

[00:45:02] A goat is a lamb.

[00:45:04] A lamb.

[00:45:05] Although, goat is very good.

[00:45:06] Have you ever had goat?

[00:45:07] I've had it in Mexican food.

[00:45:08] No, no, it's not that you were talking about.

[00:45:10] What do you mean?

[00:45:11] Just like cooked up fucking salt, pepper, and salt.

[00:45:14] Mediterranean style.

[00:45:15] Yeah, yeah.

[00:45:16] Simple, grilled.

[00:45:17] Uh-huh.

[00:45:18] Shit fucking rocks my cocky.

[00:45:19] Yeah, we're going to have my friend.

[00:45:21] I'm going to my friend's house for Easter.

[00:45:24] His family for Greece is coming.

[00:45:26] They oftentimes...

[00:45:27] I want to Greek Easter once.

[00:45:29] Oh, yeah, with who?

[00:45:33] It's like, I guess like a family friend.

[00:45:35] It's just loud Greek.

[00:45:36] What's his name?

[00:45:37] Yeah.

[00:45:38] What's his name?

[00:45:39] What's his name?

[00:45:40] Her name is Rosie.

[00:45:41] Her name is Rosie.

[00:45:42] She's a big fat, loud Greek bitch.

[00:45:43] His name is Rosie, huh?

[00:45:44] Yeah.

[00:45:45] Yeah, the food was dope.

[00:45:47] It's the best.

[00:45:48] Yeah.

[00:45:49] Literally a whole fucking lamb will be on a spit.

[00:45:51] Yeah.

[00:45:52] Over at fire.

[00:45:53] I think that's who it was.

[00:45:54] I can't.

[00:45:55] It's weird.

[00:45:56] I have like this just vague...

[00:45:57] It's one of those things that you know what happened.

[00:45:58] You know what happened and then you can't remember.

[00:46:00] All I remember is like having some lamb.

[00:46:03] Yeah.

[00:46:04] And then no other fucking detail.

[00:46:06] Everything else is just gone.

[00:46:07] Uh-huh.

[00:46:08] That's all you motherfucking need to know.

[00:46:09] I remember my first time getting drunk.

[00:46:11] It was at my first Christmas party.

[00:46:15] The family friends.

[00:46:16] Yeah.

[00:46:17] And I drank...

[00:46:18] I was like...

[00:46:19] And the family friend, the guy kept feeding you, drinking you.

[00:46:22] Yeah, and he was like...

[00:46:23] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[00:46:25] And kissing your neck and stuff.

[00:46:27] And then you drank way too.

[00:46:29] And all you remember is waking up in his bed.

[00:46:31] Do you sweat or no pants?

[00:46:33] There was a guy at the Red Scare Show drinking fucking GHB out of a coffee cup.

[00:46:39] Nice.

[00:46:40] They have really gay hair.

[00:46:41] He was...

[00:46:42] He was dosing himself.

[00:46:44] You don't want to see me before I've had my rape coffee.

[00:46:47] My gay rape coffee.

[00:46:49] I'm here to see the art show.

[00:46:51] Well, he's like up here for the art podcast.

[00:46:53] He's like, I'm drinking G. And I thought it was like that butter.

[00:46:57] Gee.

[00:46:58] That's a Gee.

[00:46:59] Yeah.

[00:47:00] But I thought I was like, oh, you're having a mame's atom.

[00:47:01] He mame's atom.

[00:47:02] Yeah, I love Gee butter.

[00:47:04] Oh, it's the phone now or right now for both of you motherfuckers.

[00:47:09] Luckily, I lost my phone somewhere in these cushions or else I'd be checking it now.

[00:47:13] Is that what you're calling the TV?

[00:47:15] It's fine.

[00:47:16] Yeah.

[00:47:17] I'm going to call my butt cheeks.

[00:47:18] Damn, B.S.

[00:47:19] You better come get it.

[00:47:20] Come look for change in the couch.

[00:47:21] I just kind of suck on these cushions.

[00:47:23] I love cushions.

[00:47:24] I love sucking on cushions.

[00:47:26] But honestly, it's going to be a wonderful bro weekend in Baltimore.

[00:47:29] You got Elvis in the mix?

[00:47:31] No, it's just me and my little broskies.

[00:47:33] We got NBA playoffs.

[00:47:35] Thanos.

[00:47:36] Even though Thanos and then we got that big dick ass Game of Thrones fight scene.

[00:47:41] What do you think they're going to beat Thanos?

[00:47:43] Or they're going to lose?

[00:47:44] They're going to beat Thanos.

[00:47:46] But Thanos.

[00:47:47] The bad guy is Avengers.

[00:47:49] And he's in Game of Thrones?

[00:47:51] No, no, he's a different thing.

[00:47:52] The new Avengers movie that's out today or this weekend.

[00:47:56] I might go see a movie tonight.

[00:47:58] I want to see the Avengers.

[00:47:59] I've been not spending any money at all.

[00:48:01] Oh, that's good.

[00:48:02] Yeah.

[00:48:03] Feels good to not spend for a while.

[00:48:04] It does feel good.

[00:48:05] Yeah.

[00:48:06] Thank you, thank you.

[00:48:07] Cooking for yourself.

[00:48:08] Cooking for myself.

[00:48:09] But then also walking everywhere.

[00:48:11] I go either zero or say I either spend all of the money or none of it.

[00:48:15] Yes.

[00:48:16] And I've been back to spending no money.

[00:48:18] I've been walking everywhere in my damn self, dude.

[00:48:20] Yeah.

[00:48:21] I walked from here to the end of the city the last time we did it.

[00:48:24] From Bedside.

[00:48:25] From Bedside into the healthy walk.

[00:48:27] That is a good walk.

[00:48:28] It's a nice one over the Billy Burke Bridge.

[00:48:30] Yeah.

[00:48:31] I used to walk like that.

[00:48:32] I would walk everywhere.

[00:48:33] I remember that.

[00:48:34] And then I don't know where.

[00:48:35] Your joints are just on fire.

[00:48:36] Yeah.

[00:48:37] Oh, my foot.

[00:48:38] I ice my feet every day.

[00:48:39] It's fucking horrible.

[00:48:40] This foot is fucked up.

[00:48:41] I have to go to Eupidiatrist, dude.

[00:48:43] I feel like I'm getting a little bit at elbow 10, then I just again.

[00:48:47] Sucks.

[00:48:48] From Jekyll.

[00:48:49] From Jef.

[00:48:50] If you use my nuts as stress balls, that should probably be wrong.

[00:48:53] Be new with me.

[00:48:55] I know you be new.

[00:48:57] I know you be new.

[00:48:58] I know you be new.

[00:49:00] You mean you know?

[00:49:02] Yeah.

[00:49:03] I heard some French rap the other day.

[00:49:05] I started becoming like a deaf soundcloud rapper.

[00:49:08] Yeah.

[00:49:09] Be like, you mean you want me to be new?

[00:49:12] Yeah.

[00:49:13] You mean you want me to be new?

[00:49:17] Yeah.

[00:49:18] And just disconnected enough from my own identity.

[00:49:22] Yeah.

[00:49:23] And see if you can get some wokery tar to be like, this is amazing.

[00:49:26] Yeah.

[00:49:27] It's trying to understand how transcend it.

[00:49:29] And he can't literally hear the beat.

[00:49:32] This is the best music I've ever heard.

[00:49:34] He could feel it.

[00:49:35] Yeah.

[00:49:36] Oh, he could feel the vibrations.

[00:49:37] The fact that he's crossing sense barriers that he can't even comprehend.

[00:49:42] This is truly one of the most revolutionary acts of and he's fat and gay.

[00:49:50] And then on top of it, being a big fat gay fat so is one of the most revolutionary acts.

[00:49:56] That would be awesome.

[00:49:58] I, when I had gay sex at 472 pounds, it was like Paul Revere riding his horse all the way

[00:50:06] to the white boy, mayo ass white boy meeting to let them know something.

[00:50:12] I think the British are coming.

[00:50:16] I think the British are coming, dudes.

[00:50:22] I mean, get high and say that to yourself and try not to laugh.

[00:50:26] It's incredible.

[00:50:27] It's so funny.

[00:50:28] I think the British are coming, dudes.

[00:50:32] And in that joke, the horse is also hot.

[00:50:34] Yeah, I've tried pot.

[00:50:38] Yeah.

[00:50:39] Pretty.

[00:50:40] Pretty.

[00:50:41] What a legend.

[00:50:42] You should get him in the mix for Easter.

[00:50:46] How about him?

[00:50:47] Is there like this Catholic Easter have specific food?

[00:50:49] I can't remember.

[00:50:50] No, he is a ham, dude.

[00:50:51] He just sucks.

[00:50:52] American, he just sucks my hard little penis, dude.

[00:50:53] That's what I've been saying.

[00:50:55] It sucks dick.

[00:50:56] That's why.

[00:50:57] It's even close.

[00:50:58] But to be fair, though, it's our, that shit's like our Thanksgiving.

[00:51:01] So we go the fuck off.

[00:51:03] And everyone fasts.

[00:51:04] For Catholics, it's their holiday, too.

[00:51:06] Isn't it?

[00:51:07] Yeah, the Catholics are more like Greek people don't have Thanksgiving.

[00:51:11] They don't have, there's no like big food holiday.

[00:51:13] And you fast, Greek people, even though this is not religious, they fast usually a lot

[00:51:18] of them for the majority of Lent.

[00:51:20] When I was little kid, sometimes I wouldn't eat meat for 40 days before.

[00:51:23] And so it's like a big like, it's like when you don't jerk off.

[00:51:26] 40 days?

[00:51:27] Yeah.

[00:51:28] I thought it was like a month.

[00:51:29] Oh, I guess that movie, 40 days.

[00:51:30] 40 days.

[00:51:31] Yeah, 40 days of

[00:51:31] a month.

[00:51:32] It's about Lent.

[00:51:33] It's about not fucking or not coming or something.

[00:51:34] Yeah, not fucking.

[00:51:36] We've talked about it before.

[00:51:37] Yeah, about the feather scene.

[00:51:39] I've never.

[00:51:40] Oh, yeah.

[00:51:41] Where he puts a feather on Shannon's socks.

[00:51:42] That's not that hard not to fuck with 40 days, man.

[00:51:44] I've done that a couple times with no issue.

[00:51:47] I did it.

[00:51:48] At different points in my life.

[00:51:49] And I rented a sprinter van and just ran it into people in Toronto.

[00:51:55] I wonder if there's going to be another one of those soon.

[00:51:57] And in so fan attack, another driving over people thing.

[00:52:03] That was all the rage terrorism was for a while.

[00:52:06] Yeah, I mean, that really popped off for a while.

[00:52:08] That one in Paris.

[00:52:09] It's a cool move.

[00:52:10] Yeah.

[00:52:11] It's like you're doing a twisted metal IRL.

[00:52:14] Yeah.

[00:52:15] If a guy said his hair on fire and had clown hair and did it, he should go free.

[00:52:19] Oh, yeah.

[00:52:20] Beat tooth.

[00:52:21] No, that's a real.

[00:52:22] I mean, calm.

[00:52:27] He's truly insane.

[00:52:28] He's truly insane.

[00:52:29] This is the clown fucking slurping up ladles full of calm and insane, man.

[00:52:36] His name was meat tooth.

[00:52:39] Sweet tooth.

[00:52:40] Sweet tooth.

[00:52:41] Sweet tooth.

[00:52:42] Sweet tooth was original.

[00:52:43] Beat tooth is what he's called.

[00:52:45] And meat tooth was the one that sucks.

[00:52:48] The guy that got me to.

[00:52:49] Yeah, that's good.

[00:52:50] That's good.

[00:52:51] That's good shit.

[00:52:52] Thanks, man.

[00:52:53] Thanks, bro.

[00:52:54] That's some good ass shit.

[00:52:55] That's some good shit, bro.

[00:52:56] I love when the riffs be good, man.

[00:52:59] We know.

[00:53:00] When the riffs hit.

[00:53:02] It's getting dark.

[00:53:03] Oh, no.

[00:53:04] Say some gay ass shit to me.

[00:53:07] Riggs is getting dark.

[00:53:09] Riggs, I need you to say some gay ass shit to me.

[00:53:13] I need you to come.

[00:53:15] I need you to whisper some gay ass shit into my ear.

[00:53:18] Your dick is, it's, it's looks tasty.

[00:53:21] It's saying gay shit to me, Riggs.

[00:53:23] Oh, my God.

[00:53:24] Riggs, I'm dying.

[00:53:25] I want to lick your pre-cal.

[00:53:26] Easy to keep going.

[00:53:27] And I want you to jerk off onto a submarine sandwich and I want to eat it instead of using

[00:53:32] mustard.

[00:53:33] The thing is I got shot with a dumb dumb bullet.

[00:53:36] It pulls all the blood at your body.

[00:53:38] And I need to keep blood pumping by getting my dick hard.

[00:53:41] I got to say.

[00:53:42] I want to put the sandwich in my ass.

[00:53:43] It's dumb dumb bullet.

[00:53:44] And I kill you.

[00:53:45] And fuck it.

[00:53:46] It was sliding in and out of my ass.

[00:53:47] I saw a guy get shot in the hand with a dumb dumb bullet.

[00:53:49] I want to feed you the cum sandwich that's covered in my shit.

[00:53:51] Keep saying gay shit.

[00:53:52] Then I want to lick your balls.

[00:53:55] And after that I just want to hold you against you.

[00:53:57] I just need to hear more gay shit to get my dick on.

[00:54:00] Oh, yeah.

[00:54:01] What's that?

[00:54:02] I want to, I'm sitting in a sewing machine.

[00:54:07] Oh, right.

[00:54:08] I'm sitting in a sewing machine.

[00:54:09] Adam, why didn't you just say?

[00:54:11] Yeah, yeah.

[00:54:12] Rob was playing Riggs.

[00:54:13] Why are you pitching lines?

[00:54:14] I didn't want to step on stops.

[00:54:16] It was good.

[00:54:17] You could have said that.

[00:54:18] You could have just said it.

[00:54:19] I'm not a sewing machine.

[00:54:20] I'm one of the comedians on the show.

[00:54:22] I just, listen, I don't know if you know the glory for myself.

[00:54:26] You know, I'm happy for a stop to take a couple assists.

[00:54:29] What has Wario done to you?

[00:54:32] And it's Wario's fault, not mine.

[00:54:34] Your confidence is so flat in it.

[00:54:36] You can't even say your own jokes on the show.

[00:54:39] Listen, I'm just happy to be in the room.

[00:54:41] You can't even pitch your own jokes out on the show.

[00:54:43] Well, fuck is my phone?

[00:54:45] Damn, damn.

[00:54:48] I used to love the drive to Baltimore now.

[00:54:50] I don't feel like it.

[00:54:52] You love driving?

[00:54:53] I used to like a nice long drive by myself.

[00:54:56] It's a nice drive because it's an hour shorter than the DC drive.

[00:54:59] So it always feels like.

[00:55:01] Yeah, it's kind of like your dick compared to my dick.

[00:55:04] I fucking hate going on the road by yourself or with people by myself.

[00:55:10] I like it by myself.

[00:55:11] I hate the bus.

[00:55:12] I hate that fucking megabus.

[00:55:13] I hate it by myself.

[00:55:14] I like the train.

[00:55:16] When we drove down the DC together, that was nice.

[00:55:18] Yeah, you all did that live show.

[00:55:20] Yeah, that was fun.

[00:55:21] Driving around New Orleans with you is fun too.

[00:55:24] That was really fun for you.

[00:55:25] We enjoy the show.

[00:55:26] When we go on the Baltimore Newport News, Virginia, crabs and fucking...

[00:55:32] Busch Garden.

[00:55:33] Busch Garden's tour.

[00:55:34] You've been to the...

[00:55:35] I don't know if I've been to the...

[00:55:37] What is the Six Flags of Laurel?

[00:55:41] I went there when it was Adventure Land.

[00:55:44] Never.

[00:55:45] Oh yeah, the Six Flags.

[00:55:46] Yeah, it was the mayor of the Lake Tons.

[00:55:47] Yeah.

[00:55:48] That was like the go to in Baltimore.

[00:55:49] That was the go to amusement park.

[00:55:50] Is that still open?

[00:55:51] Well, it was Adventure Land, then it became Six Flags.

[00:55:54] And I don't know if I ever went to one of the Six Flags.

[00:55:57] There was a theme park in New Jersey where people kept getting injured and stuff.

[00:56:01] I think it was called Adventure Land also.

[00:56:03] I don't know.

[00:56:05] That's a cool name.

[00:56:06] No, you're thinking of Six Flags as like American Adventure or something?

[00:56:09] I don't think it was a Six Flags.

[00:56:10] No, I think it was just like...

[00:56:12] I think I remember reading a Maxim article.

[00:56:16] Hell yeah.

[00:56:17] Nice.

[00:56:18] I had like most dangerous theme parks or something.

[00:56:20] Nice.

[00:56:21] Maybe I'm confusing.

[00:56:22] When I was a kid, I used to be into like reading about coasters and asking my parents to go

[00:56:26] to Cedar Point, Ohio.

[00:56:27] Those are the bad ass ones.

[00:56:29] That's where the best coasters are.

[00:56:31] Yeah.

[00:56:32] I don't know that Superman Six Flags though.

[00:56:33] I hate coasters.

[00:56:34] But they have one like the Superman ride.

[00:56:37] Yeah.

[00:56:38] They scare me.

[00:56:39] You like coasters?

[00:56:40] I only like the drops.

[00:56:41] The drops are the only thing that's fucking fun.

[00:56:43] All the loops are boring as shit.

[00:56:45] Loops are...

[00:56:46] I went to the Six Flags Magic Mountain or whatever it was, the one in Los Angeles was.

[00:56:51] Like a year ago.

[00:56:52] Yeah.

[00:56:53] And you stayed in line for fucking like nine hours.

[00:56:55] Was it Vallejo or something?

[00:56:56] I have no idea, dude.

[00:56:57] I don't know.

[00:56:58] Yeah, that's where you lost your phone on the wall.

[00:57:00] Oh yeah.

[00:57:01] That was so fucking gay.

[00:57:03] Yeah.

[00:57:04] And yeah, you're just in line all day and then you're on a rollercoaster for like two minutes

[00:57:07] and it's just not worth it.

[00:57:09] It's like, well, this doesn't make up for my life.

[00:57:12] I don't feel better about every decision I've made.

[00:57:14] Yeah, yeah.

[00:57:15] I was expecting to suddenly be transported to 1996 and I haven't made any choices yet.

[00:57:22] I said...

[00:57:23] People just don't like me for who I am instead of what I've done.

[00:57:26] I just asked if my folks could go to school that I know they would be right.

[00:57:32] Their hunch was proven correct.

[00:57:33] It turns out...

[00:57:34] It turns out people's instincts are pretty good.

[00:57:40] Do you remember Woodward that summer camp for skaters?

[00:57:43] No.

[00:57:44] Yeah, they would advertise it in CCS.

[00:57:45] Yeah, it was in CCS.

[00:57:47] Yeah.

[00:57:48] CCS catalog, which Nick and I both subscribe to as you use.

[00:57:50] It was like a skate catalog where like you could buy decks and shoes and trucks.

[00:57:56] I was never even tangentially into skating except for like 20 homes.

[00:58:00] I was in the...

[00:58:01] I wore the shoes.

[00:58:03] I sucked at skateboard.

[00:58:04] I remember fantasizing like, man, if I could go to Woodward, they would make me good at

[00:58:08] skateboard.

[00:58:09] Yeah, that's exactly what I would tell my parents.

[00:58:10] I was like, I'm going to come back so good at skating.

[00:58:13] I said, I mean, Woodward.

[00:58:15] I think it's just this place in Pennsylvania where they never did, huh?

[00:58:18] No.

[00:58:19] They sent me to a Jewish Woodward.

[00:58:21] Which is like skateboarding.

[00:58:22] Yeah.

[00:58:23] You know?

[00:58:24] Yeah.

[00:58:25] You could have been...

[00:58:26] You got sponsored for being Jewish and then you went to law school.

[00:58:30] It's sponsored.

[00:58:32] No way, even...

[00:58:33] I'm never selling it.

[00:58:34] You got head though.

[00:58:35] You wouldn't have gotten head.

[00:58:36] Hey, what's up?

[00:58:37] I'm sponsored.

[00:58:38] I got head finally.

[00:58:39] I had to put yours in before the head.

[00:58:40] I got sponsored for a lot of hand-juish.

[00:58:42] Yeah, but getting hand-jobs at a young age is huge.

[00:58:45] Now, what is this?

[00:58:46] Young.

[00:58:47] I mean, it was a normal age, but most people did it in high school.

[00:58:49] This one is cool.

[00:58:50] This one looks...

[00:58:51] This is Times Square.

[00:58:52] It looks like New York, but it's too red.

[00:58:54] It's Times Square, dude.

[00:58:55] It is Times Square.

[00:58:56] Okay.

[00:58:57] But it's a weird angle.

[00:58:58] It is.

[00:58:59] It does look much cooler than it is.

[00:59:00] Times Square, it does suck my penis.

[00:59:01] But that looks awesome.

[00:59:02] It sucks because you walk around Shibuya or where the fuck we were.

[00:59:07] It's like, this is tight.

[00:59:08] It's like in the movies.

[00:59:09] That crosswalk?

[00:59:10] And it's like, I live in New York and New York's much cooler than Tokyo, but if I hate...

[00:59:16] Walk around New York's gay.

[00:59:17] No, I did.

[00:59:18] It rules.

[00:59:19] It used to be, but now I'm jaded.

[00:59:20] Yeah, now you're badass.

[00:59:21] I'm fucking...

[00:59:22] I had a nice time in the city today.

[00:59:25] I just sat out.

[00:59:26] You went to the city today?

[00:59:27] Yeah, I had therapy.

[00:59:29] Yeah.

[00:59:32] How'd it go?

[00:59:33] I won.

[00:59:34] Are you straight?

[00:59:35] Yeah.

[00:59:36] No, not yet.

[00:59:37] Dude, he's just setting me up to one of those...

[00:59:40] What's it called?

[00:59:41] He's slowly waiting you off men's penises.

[00:59:44] He's just holding my eyes open and putting eye drops in my eyes so they don't try out.

[00:59:49] Cockwork orange.

[00:59:50] You just have to watch Teiana Taylor.

[00:59:53] Dude, that is some bullshit.

[00:59:54] Teiana Trump sucking dick.

[00:59:55] Teiana Taylor also good.

[00:59:57] Teiana Taylor in the fade video.

[00:59:59] Dude, a dick suck orange.

[01:00:01] A dick suck orange?

[01:00:02] Yes.

[01:00:03] How about that?

[01:00:04] Oh, hey, you're back, man.

[01:00:06] We're back to the gay Ron podcast.

[01:00:08] I am so sleepy.

[01:00:10] I had a drink.

[01:00:11] Is your belly full of gum?

[01:00:12] I put too much gum in my coffee.

[01:00:14] There was not enough coffee, so now I am sleepy from drinking gallons of gum.

[01:00:19] I don't know if I can...

[01:00:22] Well, that's...

[01:00:23] Yeah, you should have known better than that.

[01:00:24] I don't know if I can do the robbery because I've had too much gum.

[01:00:27] Oh, I'm sorry.

[01:00:28] To eat.

[01:00:29] We can postpone the robbery.

[01:00:30] Do you want to just have gay sex with Adam for a while?

[01:00:32] Maybe we can have gay sex right now.

[01:00:35] I was asked, I did that fashion podcast that we got mentioned on, and I was asked who I

[01:00:41] would fuck Mary Kill between the two of you and Brandon.

[01:00:44] Oh, we'll kill Brandon.

[01:00:45] I killed Brandon.

[01:00:46] Yeah, that was the easiest one.

[01:00:47] There's no even question.

[01:00:48] I said Mary Stav, because you're always on the eat.

[01:00:51] I would be a great wife, dude.

[01:00:52] Yeah, I mean...

[01:00:53] You should fuck Stav because he's the wife.

[01:00:55] And then I fucked in...

[01:00:56] It's got a big fat woman's body.

[01:00:57] I'd fuck Nick because fucking Nick implies that I'm fucking...

[01:01:01] You get to top him.

[01:01:03] That I'm topping.

[01:01:04] And then I'd just be like, oh my god.

[01:01:06] I've never let that happen.

[01:01:08] What are we doing?

[01:01:09] What's the game?

[01:01:10] What podcast?

[01:01:11] That's what the game was.

[01:01:13] Yeah.

[01:01:14] You know?

[01:01:15] It's a game.

[01:01:16] I'm sorry, bro.

[01:01:17] I have to fucking...

[01:01:18] Listen, Connie, these people put on a game.

[01:01:20] I don't want to fuck you.

[01:01:23] I don't have a choice.

[01:01:25] Michael Douglas.

[01:01:26] Michael Douglas.

[01:01:27] Michael Douglas plays the game.

[01:01:29] You can't fuck me.

[01:01:31] I'm your brother.

[01:01:33] I have to, Connie.

[01:01:34] It's either that or I kill.

[01:01:35] I either Mary kill you or fuck you.

[01:01:38] Who plays the brother again?

[01:01:40] Sean Penn.

[01:01:41] Sean Penn, that's right.

[01:01:42] He's terrible.

[01:01:43] Yeah.

[01:01:44] He's not good.

[01:01:45] I re-watched another Sean Penn movie last night.

[01:01:47] I'm trying to...

[01:01:48] I am Sam.

[01:01:49] I put colors on for like five minutes.

[01:01:51] I've never seen those.

[01:01:52] It's all about different races.

[01:01:53] It's a piece of shit Dennis Hopper movie about like gangs in Los Angeles.

[01:01:57] It was shot in 88.

[01:01:59] So it predates gangster rap.

[01:02:01] Awesome.

[01:02:02] Yeah.

[01:02:03] So it's just shit.

[01:02:04] What's the music even like?

[01:02:06] It's like we got gangs on the street being real gang.

[01:02:09] Gangs together and the gang at each other.

[01:02:12] There's a...

[01:02:13] You better not mess with the East Side boys because boys gonna get real angry.

[01:02:18] That's kind of...

[01:02:20] King of York is kind of like that movie where the movie Frank White, where Biggie takes

[01:02:25] his moniker from, where it's Chris Walken.

[01:02:28] Yeah, the best able Ferrara, the King.

[01:02:32] Genius.

[01:02:33] And I believe Lawrence Fishburne who is credited as Larry Fishburne.

[01:02:37] I think he started as Larry Fishburne.

[01:02:39] That's what I mean.

[01:02:40] He was called Larry Fishburne.

[01:02:41] We've talked about his daughters porn, right?

[01:02:43] Yes, Montana Fishburne.

[01:02:44] How about Lawrence Wishbone and his little daughter?

[01:02:46] What's the story Lawrence Wishbone?

[01:02:48] What's the story Fishburne?

[01:02:49] What if a black man could read it?

[01:02:52] What's the story Fishburne?

[01:02:55] Can we stop him right there?

[01:02:57] You're a BBS word, not interesting.

[01:03:00] Can you be working with a baby, a dog?

[01:03:02] He's a 14 year old kid living in the suburbs of Chicago.

[01:03:05] But he owns a black man that can read and talk.

[01:03:08] I thought that's what reading Rainbow was about.

[01:03:10] Was it a black man that could read it?

[01:03:12] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[01:03:13] That was about a gay guy.

[01:03:14] That's about a gay guy.

[01:03:15] That's about a gay guy.

[01:03:16] You guys who happen to be black.

[01:03:17] Yeah, read it.

[01:03:18] You fucking dang.

[01:03:19] Reading.

[01:03:20] Dang.

[01:03:21] I remember I used to be really kind of like a gay guy.

[01:03:24] I used to be really confused that he didn't have the visor.

[01:03:27] Yeah, that he wasn't blind.

[01:03:29] That he wasn't blind?

[01:03:30] Yeah, I didn't even put it together.

[01:03:31] Jorgy Leforge.

[01:03:32] Jorgy.

[01:03:33] I did not put it together.

[01:03:34] I mean, I know now obviously, but as a child they had me fooled.

[01:03:37] Damn.

[01:03:38] Yeah.

[01:03:39] I don't know.

[01:03:40] Who does it a bit about putting black eyes in dresses?

[01:03:42] I don't know.

[01:03:43] I didn't see the Chappelle or Cat Williams or whatever.

[01:03:46] Maybe it's Chris Rock.

[01:03:48] I can't.

[01:03:49] It was one of those guys.

[01:03:50] I'm not going to get the just fuck all of it.

[01:03:58] I'm not right out of steam on that thought.

[01:04:02] No worries, man.

[01:04:03] That's fun.

[01:04:04] Who cares?

[01:04:05] Who fucks is shit?

[01:04:07] I'm already preparing myself for the inevitable text message 20 minutes after this ends.

[01:04:12] It's like, hey man, can you please get rid of that?

[01:04:14] I'm not going to.

[01:04:15] I'll make a solemn promise to you right now.

[01:04:18] Okay, so get rid of it.

[01:04:20] Even better when you text it.

[01:04:21] When this podcast is 32 minutes long.

[01:04:25] No, man.

[01:04:27] Then they're all going to assume I asked.

[01:04:29] It was something I asked to get out.

[01:04:31] Yeah.

[01:04:32] Stop really didn't like that.

[01:04:34] Wario.

[01:04:35] Disrespectful.

[01:04:36] I love Wario.

[01:04:37] I stand for my plus size Kings.

[01:04:40] I love that even I love the wishbone though.

[01:04:42] I must say I must admit.

[01:04:44] That was some truly good shit.

[01:04:46] I thought it was funny.

[01:04:47] Book reports off a wishbone.

[01:04:49] I had a phone.

[01:04:50] Hell yeah, I read Hamlet.

[01:04:51] I thought it was funny to imagine like wishbone like the wing of my cement and Lenny snaps

[01:04:57] his neck because he's a puppy and Lenny can't you know pet and I can never really get that

[01:05:02] to be funny in any context.

[01:05:04] But it's one of those things that it entertained me a lot.

[01:05:07] That's all that matters.

[01:05:08] No, it's frustrating when people get it.

[01:05:12] When you figure that out.

[01:05:14] People.

[01:05:15] Didn't you have a wishbone bit?

[01:05:16] No, I don't think I did.

[01:05:17] I mean, maybe I did.

[01:05:18] Something about wishbone having sex with women.

[01:05:23] Maybe that's just a thought I'm having.

[01:05:24] No, wait, that does sound familiar.

[01:05:26] Yeah.

[01:05:27] Yeah, I did have a fucking wishbone joke.

[01:05:28] What the fuck was it?

[01:05:29] I don't remember, but I feel like you did.

[01:05:32] Yeah, because he goes into books that were he fucks or something.

[01:05:36] Yeah, exactly, exactly.

[01:05:37] Yeah.

[01:05:38] There's a romantic.

[01:05:39] Yeah, there's an episode of.

[01:05:40] Yeah, they did Romeo and Julia with wishbone.

[01:05:42] It's like this bitch just fucks dogs.

[01:05:44] She fucks a dog.

[01:05:45] Yeah, I know fuck.

[01:05:46] What was I?

[01:05:47] I remember liking that joke.

[01:05:49] This is shitty as part about having been drunk for every year.

[01:05:55] Oh, yeah.

[01:05:56] You could have probably released like two albums.

[01:05:58] Probably more than you had an hour when we met and it was great.

[01:06:02] It was like three hours.

[01:06:04] Yeah.

[01:06:05] We talked about the bit about working in the call center.

[01:06:07] Of course, twice.

[01:06:09] Almost.

[01:06:11] I've got three inches, two and a half.

[01:06:14] It's two almost.

[01:06:15] What's the biggest number?

[01:06:17] Yeah, I've got seven times.5.

[01:06:21] That's a cool way.

[01:06:23] There you go.

[01:06:24] That's true.

[01:06:25] You got a deal to grass Tyson.

[01:06:27] I'm 102 inches.

[01:06:29] You have to fool these bitches with math.

[01:06:32] Yeah.

[01:06:33] How big is it?

[01:06:34] Just send her an equation.

[01:06:36] That's why Asians love math is so cute.

[01:06:42] We can go with you.

[01:06:44] All the calculus symbols or whatever.

[01:06:47] All over the world.

[01:06:49] How big is your penis?

[01:06:51] We're here.

[01:06:52] This bitch.

[01:06:53] Fox dogs.

[01:06:54] Yeah.

[01:06:55] Something like that.

[01:06:56] Something like that.

[01:06:58] Damn.

[01:06:59] I wish I had written stuff down ever.

[01:07:01] Yeah.

[01:07:02] Or recorded your such or something.

[01:07:03] Or put any.

[01:07:04] Never.

[01:07:05] Did you used to do it?

[01:07:07] Someone used to do in DC a joke about the Geico lizard.

[01:07:10] There was a commercial where there's a couple out and then the girl sees the Geico lizard

[01:07:15] and she's like, oh my God.

[01:07:16] Hi.

[01:07:17] Or something.

[01:07:18] He's like, is this bitch fucking lizards?

[01:07:21] I don't know.

[01:07:22] I don't fucking remember.

[01:07:24] Was it a good joke?

[01:07:25] It was a pretty unremarkable.

[01:07:28] It stuck in your throat.

[01:07:30] But it stuck in my brain.

[01:07:31] It was your joke.

[01:07:33] Like a what just rolled into that one.

[01:07:41] Does this bitch fuck a lizard's chick chick?

[01:07:46] Click click boom fire when ready clock click click on gate target target neutralized.

[01:07:55] That's cool.

[01:07:56] The military says cool stuff like that.

[01:07:57] You should have kid and you're like tango neutralized.

[01:08:02] Just checking your argument.

[01:08:03] You shot that seven year old.

[01:08:06] That is affirmative.

[01:08:07] That is affirmative action.

[01:08:11] Affirmative action.

[01:08:13] Put in a good way.

[01:08:14] Not the bad kind of that I can't wait to hate when I get back home.

[01:08:18] I can't wait to get back to my not easily a six wife who drives our big stupid car around.

[01:08:29] Just remind their fuck the troops.

[01:08:34] Which is really which is brave to say because our audience is over 95% yeah.

[01:08:40] Former service.

[01:08:41] Everyone knows the troops love to get nagged.

[01:08:44] That's true.

[01:08:45] Yeah.

[01:08:46] That's kind of what the people they're fighting against you is kind of neck the target.

[01:08:51] Look, if you can't handle it from your podcast, how are you going to handle it from the Muslims?

[01:08:56] From Muslims.

[01:08:57] Look, you're getting it.

[01:08:59] A lot of people get mad about stealing valor.

[01:09:01] It's like I'm just trying to disrespect these troops the way they're going to be disrespected.

[01:09:04] That's right.

[01:09:05] You got a hard enough.

[01:09:06] It's like like Muslims and they're over defending my freedom.

[01:09:09] Like Ross did in Band of Brothers.

[01:09:12] Yeah.

[01:09:13] Ross did.

[01:09:14] He was mean to the boys when they were training so that they would be ready to fight the Nazis.

[01:09:19] Oh, smart.

[01:09:20] He was always trying to case the brothers.

[01:09:23] He's trying to.

[01:09:24] He's trying to go out on a date.

[01:09:27] I don't want to date for a lot of tenants.

[01:09:29] Fine.

[01:09:30] We want to bring.

[01:09:31] I think the lieutenants mad at me.

[01:09:32] I refuse to go out on a date.

[01:09:33] I didn't kiss him on the lips.

[01:09:34] Winter said it's not your job.

[01:09:35] It's not.

[01:09:36] I just want to make sure these men are prepared.

[01:09:38] Don't ever put yourself in a position where you can reject these men for a date.

[01:09:51] Damn, the show is so good.

[01:09:55] Yeah, I love friends.

[01:09:57] No, Band of Brothers.

[01:09:58] Band of Friends.

[01:09:59] I know.

[01:10:00] I got you all.

[01:10:01] Yeah, Band of Brothers.

[01:10:02] I never seen Band of Brothers.

[01:10:03] I want to watch an Indian version of that show.

[01:10:07] Okay.

[01:10:08] What might that be like?

[01:10:10] Yeah.

[01:10:11] You know, there's a guy that's like a real war or something.

[01:10:18] They're fighting Pakistan.

[01:10:19] They have to go to World War II.

[01:10:22] We have to do a World War II.

[01:10:27] You know, they've already used parachutes.

[01:10:28] And one of them's like, I don't know.

[01:10:30] My Band of Shoots is too sticky.

[01:10:33] Oh, a sticky parachute.

[01:10:35] It's a sticky one.

[01:10:37] You could have a whole episode on that.

[01:10:39] Whole hour on the sticky parachute.

[01:10:42] Yeah.

[01:10:43] Because he's got too much masala sauce.

[01:10:48] What is this you're handing me?

[01:10:49] It's called Cologne.

[01:10:50] It is the latest form of camouflage of the Indian army.

[01:10:55] But you must be careful not to use too much of it.

[01:11:00] But he wasn't careful.

[01:11:05] And they would never again would be careful with it.

[01:11:09] How many of you could do like a comprehensive study of global warming, right?

[01:11:17] And then it turns out that the number one, it's the Cologne.

[01:11:19] It's Indian guys Cologne.

[01:11:20] Yep.

[01:11:21] Well, after all the shaming we did of white guys, it turns out to be.

[01:11:25] Indian guys putting on too much Cologne.

[01:11:27] It's the aerosol, the X body spirit.

[01:11:30] Almost the sole contributor to global warming.

[01:11:33] I would say that's very probable.

[01:11:36] Yeah.

[01:11:37] I mean, it would just be so funny.

[01:11:39] It would be, I admit.

[01:11:40] It would be something that would be one of the funniest things of all time.

[01:11:45] And they refused to do it, to do anything about it.

[01:11:48] Yeah.

[01:11:49] And the irony is they're still not even fucking.

[01:11:53] They're smell particularly good.

[01:11:56] Wow.

[01:11:59] Big Cologne.

[01:12:01] Shrek them.

[01:12:02] Shrek those poor guys.

[01:12:04] Yeah.

[01:12:05] They were just victims of marketing.

[01:12:06] Yeah.

[01:12:07] I want to know why isn't it called sword body spray, considering who uses it?

[01:12:12] Yeah.

[01:12:13] Yeah.

[01:12:14] Axen makes you think at this vantage, yeah, Norwegian guy.

[01:12:19] They don't need Cologne.

[01:12:20] They can dunk while sitting down.

[01:12:24] Look at me.

[01:12:26] I have to put on 15 gallons of Cologne.

[01:12:29] Oh my god.

[01:12:30] The second I step out of the shower.

[01:12:37] Otherwise I would smell like a truck, a flatbed truck covered in the porta potties from a music

[01:12:43] festival cranking crashed into a morgue.

[01:12:50] That's what I smell like naturally.

[01:12:55] Even right after the shower.

[01:12:57] Fresh out of the shower.

[01:12:59] Yeah, something like that.

[01:13:01] That's pretty good.

[01:13:02] That's a good script from Indian band brothers.

[01:13:06] Yeah.

[01:13:07] Yep.

[01:13:08] Yeah.

[01:13:09] Sometimes I just want to go to that come town character generator and just riff out

[01:13:13] whatever.

[01:13:14] We'll do a whole lot where we just go through them.

[01:13:16] You know one where we really hate doing it, like in the intended space.

[01:13:20] It's dragging like 20 minutes in.

[01:13:21] Yeah.

[01:13:22] We'll go to one.

[01:13:23] We'll find out.

[01:13:24] Let's just see what that guy thinks we should do.

[01:13:25] They're all good.

[01:13:26] Yeah.

[01:13:27] How about black treasure?

[01:13:28] Oh, I love that.

[01:13:29] Now's what I'm trying to do is intellectualize.

[01:13:32] Right.

[01:13:33] Don't be telling me bad.

[01:13:34] No, no, no, Ross puts it.

[01:13:35] But dad, dad's still the same.

[01:13:37] Yeah.

[01:13:38] It's like, I don't know how I ended up with these two guys.

[01:13:41] You're serious.

[01:13:42] Yeah.

[01:13:43] Now's what you got to do is philosophize.

[01:13:46] Don't be telling me no, last five's nothing.

[01:13:49] Got it.

[01:13:50] You got to imagine I'm your ass.

[01:13:51] See, a bitch wants to be mentally stimulated.

[01:13:57] This phrase is what's your problem?

[01:13:59] Good.

[01:14:00] The more you listening to the Blackfish Club, with Dr. Frazier feel good.

[01:14:11] We got a bitch calling in.

[01:14:13] Her man's not fucking arrived.

[01:14:16] Damn.

[01:14:17] Now's why you all why you all.

[01:14:20] Why you all spaz down?

[01:14:21] I think I smoked some bad rock.

[01:14:23] I was gonna smoke crack.

[01:14:27] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[01:14:35] I'm not going to be a bad rock.

[01:14:39] You got a hot, a hot bag.

[01:14:43] I got a bad bag.

[01:14:46] You know, Mary's don't got no good rock.

[01:14:49] Shit, man.

[01:14:50] My bitch ass, my bitch ass baby mama, give me bad rocks.

[01:14:52] Trying to fuck me up when I go to family court, man.

[01:14:55] You know how that shit do?

[01:14:57] Blackfish.

[01:14:58] Frazier, are you and your friends going to be in the living room all night?

[01:15:05] Damn, pops.

[01:15:07] Once you get off my motherfucking ass.

[01:15:09] Aren't you trying to do the radio show in the morning?

[01:15:14] The blackfish.

[01:15:17] The blackfish with Dr. Frazier.

[01:15:20] With Dr. Frazier, his field.

[01:15:28] That's one.

[01:15:31] That's a good one.

[01:15:32] Yeah, the black girl magic school bus.

[01:15:35] Okay.

[01:15:36] I think we've done that.

[01:15:37] Probably.

[01:15:38] How you doing?

[01:15:39] I'm Mrs. Frissel.

[01:15:40] Have the same hair.

[01:15:41] Wow, Mrs. Frissel, are we going to shrink down and go to Carlos's body?

[01:15:46] Bish, that is not my job.

[01:15:48] But the school buses magic.

[01:15:50] I do not care.

[01:15:52] Class will be starting.

[01:15:53] No, it's like once the bell rings, she just goes big and like explodes Carlos's dog.

[01:15:58] I'm off the clock.

[01:16:00] I'm off my last break.

[01:16:03] It's for Sparky.

[01:16:05] It's 4.53 p.m.

[01:16:09] Just covered in dog gutsy.

[01:16:14] What's the, how big's the penis?

[01:16:16] Wishbone.

[01:16:17] Suck penis, wishbone.

[01:16:19] I'm sticking dick inside my ass.

[01:16:23] Fuck my ass.

[01:16:24] Always bone.

[01:16:25] Can you make me suck your dick?

[01:16:28] Suck my dick bone.

[01:16:31] I'm going to have to go to the gym.

[01:16:37] Yeah, I got to try to be more.

[01:16:39] Oh, you're leaving right now?

[01:16:41] Yeah, I'm just going to go pick up Christina and then we're getting the fuck out of here.

[01:16:44] Interesting.

[01:16:45] Christina, no.

[01:16:46] Tell her you said what's up.

[01:16:48] Yeah, also tell her you both sent her your record.

[01:16:50] Tell her I said what up first and then tell her that next dose was up.

[01:16:53] Okay.

[01:16:54] I was going to say, let her know she's a slut.

[01:16:57] But because I don't really know.

[01:16:59] Christina well, if she's just a nice person.

[01:17:03] Yeah.

[01:17:04] I guess maybe I shouldn't say that.

[01:17:06] Yeah, I got to go.

[01:17:07] Hey, Calopasco, Cristo Sarnesti, everyone.

[01:17:10] This one coming out on Greek.

[01:17:11] He is risen.

[01:17:13] He like my dick has risen.

[01:17:15] Have you heard the turd news?

[01:17:16] And listen, starting in May, we're going to every Monday of funny moms except the first

[01:17:22] Monday.

[01:17:23] So second, third, fourth and if there's a fair is one.

[01:17:27] So yeah, come see us on the 13th, 20th and 27th.

[01:17:31] We're going to bother fucking be it.

[01:17:32] Come on, everybody.

[01:17:33] Every Monday.

[01:17:34] Thanks, everyone.

[01:17:35] It came to the last song.

[01:17:36] Thanks for the cameras.

[01:17:37] Let's go.

[01:17:38] Bye.