Cum Town | Premium | 05/26/2019
[00:00:00] I guess we can we can start here. Check check yeah, sorry
[00:00:04] I'm eating guys. I know we were starting up damn an entire birthday cake on
[00:00:12] Just holding the plate up to your now you need to bulk up to the muscle. Yeah, this is what you do damn
[00:00:18] I'm just him. I was putting on wait for wrestling
[00:00:25] Here's what you do you have your buddy call him uh-huh
[00:00:29] And you say I'd like a birthday cake for my daughter journey. Yeah journey or whatever
[00:00:36] And then you get there and it's like what the fuck this isn't how you spell Janet. I'm not paying for this fucking cake
[00:00:41] Yeah, you're really they've made a cake already and then I show up. Yeah, I'm like hey guys
[00:00:46] What are you gonna do with that cake you throw it away? I guess I'll take it off your hands
[00:00:51] That way free birthday. Why don't you just pretend to be the first guy?
[00:00:54] I have to buy it. No, cuz you're like I'm not paying for this cake and then but then they give it to you anyways because they messed up
[00:01:01] Interesting you're like the only way you can make up for this is by giving me the cake for free. Yeah, I'll fix it myself
[00:01:06] I guess but sir you already you could walk in already with a different birthday cake on your face
[00:01:12] This is in a pinstripe suit covered in birthday cake, what do we got here fellas looks like another messed up cake
[00:01:24] Luckily, I'm the kind of fella the deals with things like this
[00:01:27] I'm the wolf from Pulp Fiction, but listen listen. I just walked in here. I've never seen that other guy before
[00:01:57] You have Carmella's car and AJ's driving skills
[00:02:04] Someone stopped really appropriately in front of me on
[00:02:09] Say the wordy used to describe them earlier. Yeah, and it was not
[00:02:15] It was not on the tip of it's not the word that's not the word
[00:02:23] Nick just concentrating by the way guys
[00:02:31] Yeah, it was my my friend's mother's station wagon so you bought the car what time what day I
[00:02:48] Bought the car just gets the car you get a minor accident and then stuff just walks up in a pinstripe suit with cake
[00:02:55] It looks like this car may be totaled pal I could take it off your hands for you
[00:03:03] Listen, I'm gonna need money to get a toe to your mind loaned me a hundred. I'll pay it back to you
[00:03:08] Why don't you just give me 15? We'll call it even
[00:03:11] You can stop 50 bucks and then walk away and he just eats the car
[00:03:19] Nice little side he's running up to us. Sorry. I apologize
[00:03:23] I'm a con man, and I thought your car was made out of birthday
[00:03:25] I thought it was a giant cake for a giant man listen. Yeah, I apologize
[00:03:30] I'm just a simple con man. I'd I'd like to give you your $50 back. I was just trying to trick you out of cake
[00:03:37] Do you know anyone who might have some cake
[00:03:41] Walk around the like just in between lanes on the long
[00:03:48] Yeah, you bought the okay you bought the car what time
[00:04:04] John F. Kennedy International to pick up Dasha she's been in LA this week
[00:04:09] The flights have been canceled because one of the pilots was tricked into letting a man eat the plane
[00:04:19] They got a security job to do but yeah, he ate all the TSA agents because he thought they were chocolate
[00:04:31] Boyfriend and the girlfriend in the car in front of me
[00:04:36] They started they said I need to call the cops
[00:04:38] But then they said don't call the cops and then I came up to the car and they rolled down the window
[00:04:43] And then there I could tell they're smoking a blimp in the car
[00:04:47] But anyway, I'd already called the cops to come but good thing that we're in New York City. Pretty high
[00:04:53] Good thing. Hey anyone else got the munchies
[00:05:01] I put them up to it good thing. We're in New York City and
[00:05:05] I waited we both waited for two and a half hours
[00:05:09] Then said called my insurance company. They said if it's drivable just in exchange and if it's anything that really highlights the problem with
[00:05:17] Police in New York City. It's a Jewish man getting into an and no injury drive-away
[00:05:25] And the police don't show up because they don't care about the citizen well
[00:05:29] They showed up when I had a fuck when I got it is a $3,000 car it happens to be in Mercedes
[00:05:34] Anyways, you even get heading it dude. I didn't even get head and I only had liability insurance
[00:05:41] So the basically the claims adjuster said there's absolutely no way to have them pay
[00:05:49] They said we don't offer Geico does not offer a collision coverage for
[00:05:55] So I'm gonna have to pay out of pocket for this car which I thought was a
[00:05:59] Great deal, and I just feel I just it's gonna cost you what the car costs to get it fixed basically
[00:06:05] It'll probably be yeah, it'll probably be like $1,800
[00:06:11] Which is fine because now like within 24 hours
[00:06:14] I've fallen in love with the car and now like I'll even even if it's total they'll pay yeah
[00:06:19] I don't know man. You already got the inspection right?
[00:06:22] I'm thinking we rip the bumper in the hood off
[00:06:25] And we go we go like we chop it up Ed Roth style turn it into a hot rod. Yeah, I would get some loss in there
[00:06:33] Maybe you know you can become a giant rat
[00:06:36] With you can become like the rat thing. This was my buddy's family car
[00:06:44] It's like you know this hot rod cartoons where it's like the monster with his tongue out the hot rods
[00:06:48] You know like Ed Roth cartoons. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah the
[00:06:52] The the mouth of them tongue. Yeah. Yeah, that kind of shit. Yeah in the Holocaust and the cats are the Nazis
[00:07:05] Oh, yeah, yeah, this that you I was yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah you lie was L did not do the cartoon mouse
[00:07:16] I'm pretty sure that was my favorite me too. Just doesn't decide
[00:07:20] Didn't he like just when some lady said right before he died
[00:07:24] He was in a wheelchair and they were taking a picture together and he touched her ass
[00:07:27] It's like this man is survived out. Yeah, let that man get a pass. He was dead. Okay. Here's the thing was also dead
[00:07:38] Posthumously posthumous me to okay. Here's three things if one of the me to happen the guys cock what couldn't get hard anymore
[00:07:47] Cost mm-hmm because that's right cuz fucking Harvey wants to only checks one of those box exactly. Yeah
[00:07:54] He was just eating puss left and right. I love how Tim Dylan's gay and when we said that he's like well, that's just nice of him
[00:08:02] Yes, he doesn't have a dog in the fight at all
[00:08:05] And he's still he does. He's pro rape. He's pro white man. He's pro white man. He's pro. White man. He's pro. Yeah
[00:08:13] Bob Bob has the pomegranate. It's pretty good pomegranate salt soon. I feel really I'm just asking
[00:08:20] I don't really want to sip myself, but there might be poison
[00:08:34] Snare come in was a snare drum coming this looks like a hi-hat. Do you hear that? No, I don't hear anything. No, but not
[00:08:43] But I do here is you yeah in the hospital soon if you don't let me taste that
[00:08:51] What I hear is the doc pronouncing you dead
[00:08:54] It would be just I mean like just to spend millions of dollars making
[00:09:00] What couldn't really be a shot-for-shot remake of this thing but a movie about a fat guy set in the 1920s who tricks people out of
[00:09:07] Birthday cake and then there's some long con that he's working on with you
[00:09:11] We're gonna CGI bring Paul Newman back to life
[00:09:15] Okay, yeah, well the way yet well they have dead people movies all the time. Yeah the way they do it in Star Wars
[00:09:21] Exactly. I love that everyone in Star Wars is just dead now
[00:09:25] It's just fucking watching a cutscene from a video game
[00:09:28] It's a wire-frame dead bodies. They dug up fucking you know our camels last one
[00:09:37] You should be James Earl James Earl Jones is still alive, but he was just a voice
[00:09:42] Alec Guinness is dead. Thank God, but Alec Baldwin isn't that's true. He should play young. Oh, they took the wrong
[00:09:50] That's right. They got the wrong one. I like Alec Baldwin. I
[00:09:55] Like that he's homophobic to I like that he called his daughter a little piggy
[00:10:01] Yeah in that drunken email and then his kids respected him so little that they leaked they leaked the voicemail
[00:10:12] Humiliates himself that your kids leak it to like to the fucking national inquire or whatever
[00:10:17] They probably got a nice payday off that shit and also his daughter was hot is hot. I know she was at the time
[00:10:24] Yeah, she was 13 when you saw she was hot. She was hot. She was hot. That is hot now. So I was saying she was hot
[00:10:29] He's hot now. I guess you you fucked her. I did fuck her. You're gonna do one of those buster. Yes, but not then now
[00:10:38] Her name is Ireland Baldwin, dude, she's half she's half Alec Baldwin half basing her dude
[00:10:44] That's a sexy bitch. That's pretty sexy. Yeah, I like bone was hot as shit in his day
[00:10:49] She's a tattoo. She has a tattoo of David Bowie on her shoulder. Yeah, that's that's what my that's a tattoo of my
[00:10:54] Yeah, no, it would be nice to meet this bitch and like look at her tattoo and be like, oh, that's pretty cool
[00:11:00] What does that mean that you're Alec Baldwin's daughter
[00:11:04] What is this symbolize that you're Kim basing her's daughter?
[00:11:09] That's that would be my move that would be good. She'd be so thrown aback
[00:11:12] Not my move would be like everyone else just annoyed with me
[00:11:19] She would be like what and then never speak. Oh, yeah, I like all your tattoos. What's this one mean that you're Steven Baldwin's niece
[00:11:27] Yeah, it is one of the bootleg Baldwin's who's married
[00:11:31] Daughter that's married to Justin Bieber
[00:11:33] Yeah, Haley Haley is one of the I thought she was the Republican one
[00:11:37] I thought she was Alec as well, but no she's some bootleg Baldwin one of them's maggots like my my brother's a faggot
[00:11:44] And you shouldn't be insulting the president
[00:11:48] I like that one. You see the fucking Steve and really
[00:11:57] Well the only two video the only two political opinions he has is that like Israel deserves to do war crimes and
[00:12:03] And that Donald Trump you have to love him
[00:12:07] He's like you have to love and embrace our president sexually
[00:12:12] That's awesome. What a fucking idiot. Yeah
[00:12:15] But he was hot in midnight cowboy. I'll tell you that much ball
[00:12:20] It's pretty fucked up that that kid sucks his dick and he doesn't even give him his watch right exactly
[00:12:25] You remember the scene I'm talking about like I was very confused about why someone would pay to suck the prostitutes
[00:12:32] Yeah, I'm sure you were confused at him. Okay. No, I thought that if yeah
[00:12:36] Yeah, you had no idea why that guy paid a prostitute to suck his dick. Was that Rick Rick?
[00:12:55] That work, I'm not gonna look at it syllable by syllable. I don't want to
[00:13:06] I'll be quiet. I'm having a heart. I see you fellas are doing bits of it
[00:13:15] That I know I'm ruining the bits, but if you pay me ten thousand dollars a month I'll never
[00:13:30] Yeah, I thought you were gonna say Rick more anus
[00:13:46] Isn't bad man, it's not bad, but you come across that and dick is that's like more dick is better, but it's worse
[00:13:53] No, it's worse because it's it's better because it's but she better man. You're doing like
[00:14:00] Trying to do math exactly you're trying to bring jazz you're doing jazz right?
[00:14:05] I'm playing the standards. You guys are coal training it. Okay, I get it. I know
[00:14:11] I'm the technician, you know, I'm just doing the way the song's supposed to sound I'm doing the happy birthday song and you're like happy
[00:14:23] God I'm just thinking of suck more dick is very good
[00:14:44] That's just my guys name his life is exactly the same name is suck more. Hey suck more. No, it's last name is more dick is
[00:15:22] Honey who shrunk the kids was the star that movie's name a holly hunter. No, no the dad
[00:15:27] I think it's like I think it's rich more. Oh, yeah. No, no, it's
[00:15:35] I'm even though of holly hunters a bitch anyway
[00:15:53] What's up guys my name is suck more dick is
[00:16:01] Yeah, five eight. I'll be auditioning for the role of that other gay guy and ghost. Oh, yeah
[00:16:07] I want to play I'm here to act is oh my name is a sock more dick
[00:16:13] I like the scary plant that's right that musical with the scary plant with
[00:16:29] More dick is I love the idea of the last the family name more dick is
[00:16:36] His mother's name was like Jill more dick is
[00:16:46] Jill more dick is was a homemaker his father north of Dante his father's
[00:16:56] Was a fucking Bell mechanic at the church
[00:17:06] Good stuff. That's why we're doing it folks
[00:17:16] Anyway, where do you even go from here? I don't know man
[00:17:34] No, this is a free one. Oh is it no, this is the premium. Oh, you're right damn
[00:17:44] Anyway, well, that's that's why people should pay for stuff like suck
[00:17:53] Yeah, yeah, I went to Arthur having you
[00:17:58] Damn to see the gay marriage between the rat
[00:18:06] Like a talking about a look I hate both of those things
[00:18:17] They got two of them on the shit, that's like that's what the guys at Arthur Avenue are mad about that
[00:18:27] I thought you're gonna be that he was like, oh you listen you could call me gay, but don't call me no fucking rat
[00:18:36] I've turned to remember the Arthur theme song with the Degrassi theme song keeps popping in my head. I don't remember my the one
[00:18:45] Make it through well, hopefully Patty mayonnaise lets me finger her pussy this week
[00:18:57] Dog I heard you're trying to finger pussy
[00:19:01] This is a character that sounds like that, right? I think skater sounds no, there's a guy was like a guy with the weird mustache
[00:19:07] Right the weird mustache guys like well dog. I'll show you how to finger a pussy. Hey, Patty come over here
[00:19:13] Yeah, yeah, Roger sounded like this. Hey, Doug. You're never gonna finger a pussy
[00:19:25] Yeah, that's because I'm gay. That's why we're leather
[00:19:31] And I fuck a lot of dudes I'm green from having sex
[00:19:42] Yeah, I'm just trying to remember the voices here the voices
[00:19:51] Do you remember they brought Doug back for Doug middle school what and they changed his outfit slightly and
[00:19:59] I'm like I think you were a sweater vest in the second one
[00:20:02] Did Patty mayonnaise have bigger tits. I don't think Patty got to I think the secret was that Patty was actually dank
[00:20:09] Yeah, I think Patty was a dog. Yeah, she talked like that don't finger my pussy
[00:20:21] I want to do is be fingered by other girls
[00:20:27] You didn't have to lead me on so long you fucking whore dear diary it turns out Patty's a fucking dying
[00:20:47] Dear diary sorry pork chop, I know you hate looking peanut butter off my dick, but patty gaming blue balls again
[00:20:59] This is great. This is exactly what we needed Nickelodeon
[00:21:11] Which means we don't really understand children anymore, but it seems like Arthur's going pretty far with this fat rat
[00:21:26] And he is fucking picked off we hired all the Italian guys that we weren't letting work and entertainment anymore
[00:21:38] How about we got one more couple of black lives managed guys show up
[00:21:48] They all got guns and they all rape patty mannees because their last name is mannees
[00:21:55] That's right. You haven't noticed that they say that's a bad thing because you like mannees. Oh, I'm sorry
[00:22:01] You got a problem with firefighters go off that yeah, I do agree with that
[00:22:06] They're like we like we like some of this stuff here Nick
[00:22:09] But a lot of this isn't this isn't really a scratch even for us and at the beginning of this halfway through you stop writing
[00:22:16] Action and dialogue between the characters and it just turns into a rant by you
[00:22:27] Yeah, I love the idea of going too far when they started at
[00:22:31] Patty's a fucking blue-balling lesbian. Yeah
[00:22:35] Can we get back to patty not getting fingered or getting fingered or whatever? All right skaters good
[00:22:50] Yeah, I guess I told this story. I don't remember I don't fucking remember anything say it
[00:22:54] Yeah, me either Adam actually do you want to tell what I feel like you didn't really contribute much to the dog bit
[00:22:58] So if you want to tell the backstory, that's I said that patty was a dyke
[00:23:06] Give credit to that issue. Yeah, you did say that. Yeah, she was the southern raspy voice dyke
[00:23:13] Yeah, kind of now. Why were they different colors? I think cuz skater was supposed to be black
[00:23:18] Doug the only reason I want to have sex with you so I can have an abortion
[00:23:24] That exactly Nick. Thank you. That's more of what we're looking
[00:23:32] Getting us back on track him just dressed like a coals mannequin with his hands in his front pockets
[00:23:37] Rocking back and forth with his nose in his heels. You'll notice others patty mannees bitches just a dyke wants to
[00:23:45] She only wants to fuck dog so she can have an abortion the black lives man a guy show up in a rape
[00:23:59] Who else should we give iconic 90s franchises to who's doing rug rats?
[00:24:12] Need somebody good doing rug rats we could have Jewish babies tennis Miller can do
[00:24:21] You'd be like something like I don't know Tommy pickles could be like
[00:24:30] How Hillary Clinton's like the Peloponnesian more okay, no, no
[00:24:37] Hannibal's crossing the Alps. Chuck. We would Chuckie Chuckie sounds exactly like Patty Manace the same woman
[00:24:43] Probably but he's got he's got more of like a cold
[00:25:06] Bill cause we're trying to sneak his way back
[00:25:08] No, we gotta bring fat Albert back, but he got shot by the police because he was sagging his pants
[00:25:15] Right and Bill and all the other gang warned him pull your pants up son
[00:25:21] Because you might get in trouble with the police and then fat Albert gets shot by the cops
[00:25:26] And then that's a lesson to the urban youth of America. That is good actually. That's good, right?
[00:25:33] I think I was molested Tommy. Yeah, Tommy. I got molested by Jellica put her doll in my ass
[00:25:41] I literally can't do the Chuckie without a turning into Bill Cosby
[00:26:25] I take a little peek inside the person.
[00:26:31] I tell her about that five person girls.
[00:26:43] All right, everybody, I strike the kids.
[00:26:49] You know, I would be good if he struck the business
[00:26:55] so the outer world would be the bigger.
[00:26:59] I'm a man that's about the blinds, not the drapes.
[00:27:03] Let me peek through there blinds bitch,
[00:27:05] but you better hide that drape, throw it up.
[00:27:11] I think he's not even a rapist anymore.
[00:27:13] It's just Meatwad obsessed with the shape of women's vagina.
[00:27:19] So he makes them pass out to look at their pussies.
[00:27:24] I saw a book, I went to a friend's house
[00:27:29] which was like a love-year pussy kind of book,
[00:27:42] Hey, look, I mean, some of them, you don't even...
[00:27:44] Some of them, I've never even seen that kind.
[00:27:48] Well, you got some like, obviously you got some like,
[00:27:53] Sure, we all know, we've all seen the...
[00:28:02] Some of them are probably going to be locked down.
[00:28:04] So, I see a person in the two that makes me want to kill myself.
[00:28:18] Somebody will tell you, I'll sort of the back of an F-150
[00:28:20] and then I can push it on over to Texas.
[00:28:24] Yeah, well, that's why I said hate crime.
[00:28:27] He's not saying that you should do that.
[00:28:42] Donald Trump got that way because he only fucking nasty looking person.
[00:29:02] to be able to look yourself in the mirror
[00:29:04] and not be disgusted with your face off
[00:29:26] It's my favorite car I've ever had in my entire life.
[00:29:40] That's what, well, you should buy that.
[00:29:42] You were saying that I copied what Carmella drove,
[00:29:46] which I forgot that she drove that car,
[00:29:50] that's what Tony buys Carmella's new car.
[00:29:58] So maybe I should step it up to Carmella's season six.
[00:30:01] Carmella, when she's trying to get fucked by Furio.
[00:30:13] That's the episode with the Andrea Bachella episode.
[00:30:25] I can't bust because I'm a fucking idiot.
[00:30:58] But I won't bust because I'm gay to gay.
[00:31:14] There's a very good chance he's had sex with men on accident.
[00:31:19] You don't know when you're famous and blind.
[00:31:21] Steve is under throwing it in all types of Orifices.
[00:31:30] He would sit down thinking he was about to play his piano, but gay guys would sneak up.
[00:31:33] He would play his fingers in the ass themselves with a piano badge.
[00:31:39] And he would sit down and be like, oh, not again.
[00:31:42] And each one of them would go, ooh, a different note.
[00:31:52] No, I'm just saying, but you know what?
[00:32:03] I was always hoping we'd find out one of those black guys was faking it.
[00:32:09] Like Stevie Wonder, you know, like, look, I'm sorry.
[00:32:15] Back in the day that, like, would used to, you know, be a good way to get your career going.
[00:32:21] I stuck with it and, you know, I started walking into women's locker rooms.
[00:32:24] And at that point, it's like, you know, I can't tell people now, because now I'm a sex criminal.
[00:32:31] Barbara Walters is like, did this make your penis hard to see these women?
[00:32:38] In fact, it very much did make my penis hard.
[00:32:42] And what would you like to say to these women if they were sitting here right now?
[00:32:54] We'll be back with Stevie Wonder in 2020.
[00:33:00] He reveals he's my faking being behind.
[00:33:47] What it means is she was at the playboy club as a waitress.
[00:33:54] And I went back in time and actually I fucked her pussy.
[00:33:57] You know what's easy money if you're an investigative reporter to do an investigative report about people that wear burgers, right?
[00:34:12] It's also like, who is, why are you making it?
[00:34:20] To be clear, guys, Nick is showing a current day fake of Barbara Walters with old lady Bush.
[00:34:28] What's an old lady you would have sex with?
[00:34:32] But how many times are we going to have this conversation?
[00:35:04] So if you want to have sex, you'll power.
[00:35:12] I'm the fucking speaker of the house, bitch.
[00:35:18] And it's a guy with, he's mentally disabled.
[00:35:32] I'm sneaky is still one of the funnies.
[00:35:45] Like they ran out of work for me to do.
[00:35:48] And they wheeled in this like file and cabinet literally from like the 1930s.
[00:35:53] And they were like, can you alphabetize these employee records?
[00:36:01] And it's like, you know, I'm looking at them and it's an employee.
[00:36:02] It's like John Marshall, born April 7th, 1896.
[00:36:08] Like, what are you worried that we forgot to pay him over time?
[00:36:18] And like before the war, before he went away to fight in World War II, there's a week where
[00:36:26] we all he I'm sorry, he stayed two hours later on a Thursday.
[00:36:38] Barbara, Barbara back to Arthur, having you do.
[00:36:46] I wonder if that's the place I was pretty good.
[00:36:48] It's like a table service kind of place.
[00:36:53] But I want to just go back to a little deli.
[00:36:57] The one in the in the little this sandwiches are really good.
[00:37:00] I saw that biker gang who were all wearing leather vest and they all had Albanian flags.
[00:37:09] The Arthur theme is like that Ziggy Marley.
[00:37:23] Every day when you walk around the street.
[00:37:47] You should also be gay like the teacher.
[00:37:50] There is no way Ziggy Marley's saying that.
[00:37:52] You should be gay with the teacher on the show.
[00:38:10] You should give your money to Jewish people.
[00:38:21] These kids need to understand the words.
[00:38:23] These kids need to understand the words.
[00:38:26] They're just trying to watch a song about the show.
[00:38:36] I guess we're supposed to worry about the kids growing up to be rats too.
[00:38:51] You've got to remember that the Holocaust is the only genocide that ever happened.
[00:39:10] It's a distraction campaign who's gone a sympathy for Palestinians because Americans can't tell the difference.
[00:39:41] Children of God, what do these lyrics mean?
[00:39:48] Well, it means a homosexual relationship between two men.
[00:39:52] It means two men and not to use these words lightly, but fucking each other raw dogs savagely.
[00:40:00] It's a good, strong man holding each other down.
[00:40:05] You've been each other's cocks and assholes.
[00:40:07] No, a little bit all competing for the top position under the eyes and auspices of Satan himself.
[00:40:16] To become a child of Satan, the Antichrist, and to come in this church and to fuck you likewise, children of God.
[00:40:24] That's what this show wants you to do when it says, get along with each other.
[00:40:34] Now let's go back to watching some good, entertaining Christian animation.
[00:40:38] Veggie tales in which a broccoli learns that he has to murder his son to please God.
[00:40:45] There are a piece of broccoli that has to carry his son up a mountain and murder him.
[00:40:54] Which combines two things that children love.
[00:41:14] It does make sense by the way that the one thing Jews don't make is horrible.
[00:41:21] Like, yeah, of course we would pick vegetables.
[00:41:25] Well, because they thought it would be double whammy.
[00:41:26] It's like we're already cramming this bullshit down kids throats.
[00:41:35] I mean, it's on the level of that fucking itchy and scratchy joke where it's the writer strike.
[00:41:40] There's some reason where there's no new itchy and scratchy episodes across these like,
[00:41:43] well, we have Eastern Europe's most famous comic, worker in parasite.
[00:41:52] Like, I don't know, like that animation style that's based on that Russian version of Winnie
[00:42:08] But then they made it all like Russian or whatever.
[00:42:30] Let my little cock fucking shot you through.
[00:42:39] I want you to see the tip of my long little foreskin.
[00:42:43] I want the bitches salivating, they're pussy salivating dripping because they see my little
[00:42:47] ant eater hang out, hang out the salisher.
[00:43:02] The greatest comedian in the entire week.
[00:43:05] If you couldn't make some kind of real version of meat wad.
[00:43:09] Or I guess it could just be cat Williams covered in ground beef.
[00:43:20] Is anybody talking shit or what you choose to wear?
[00:44:05] Damn dude, I would pay a thousand dollars.
[00:44:13] Just like four and a half hours sweating profusely.
[00:44:41] Look, you got the spooch right here, motherfucker.
[00:44:52] President Josiah Bartlett is like, I just want to say to all the bitches and tricks.
[00:44:59] Everybody try and talk shit about your pussy is because they just want to fuck it.
[00:45:16] They show you really don't say the product that shit I put in there about the pussy.
[00:45:22] That ain't optional because they ain't going to understand the suggested changes to the
[00:45:27] capital gains taxes unless you explain that the big process gots the fucking goal.
[00:45:33] It's the big bitches hiding the big ass pusses and all that fat.
[00:45:38] The clogging up the, you know, the import pipeline.
[00:45:48] I'm trying to read this fucking economist bullshit.
[00:45:52] I'm trying to look at porn on the work computer.
[00:45:58] But they got that person fucking net down his shit on there.
[00:46:15] He won Cat Williams was definitely on one.
[00:46:19] And I said, hey, make sure you pay the juice.
[00:46:29] And I said, hey, there is no such thing as Christ.
[00:46:37] You got to be a gay and interbreed with every race, but the Jews, the Jews are all out in
[00:46:43] the country, and they're married, the only two questions.
[00:46:49] It's okay for them, but everyone else is supposed to be.
[00:46:56] You know, I was actually for the gay rat wedding, but this is a little weird.
[00:47:02] I hate to side with these Alabama guys, but I kind of tell you some about the theme song
[00:47:14] It's almost like that Nick, the problem.
[00:47:19] It's almost as bad as Nick, the Apollo dog, but in a different way.
[00:47:31] We got to think about summer plans, summer vacations.
[00:47:39] We're on a cannon for a while, like two weeks, no?
[00:47:48] I don't know if they got snowing the summer.
[00:47:49] I mean, I've lost his degree in which you've just turned your brain completely off.
[00:48:00] I truly, truly am just asking basic ass questions.
[00:48:09] No, I think you got to go pretty north to go snowing in Canada.
[00:48:17] We got to go to Toronto, June 15th, Montreal, June 19th, Ottawa the 21st.
[00:48:23] Yuck yuck just sold that, but we're trying to add an early show in Vancouver and we're
[00:48:33] Oh, and I'm just I'm popping over to LA real quick before that shit.
[00:48:36] If you guys want to see me June 10th, I'm at the lyric.
[00:49:00] The only good regional food in the entire country, and I haven't thought about this at
[00:49:11] Because I thought I invented it by accident.
[00:49:13] I thought that they put chili on something.
[00:49:20] Which is just what white trash, Italian food.
[00:49:23] But I tell you, slaw dogs are that's the best.
[00:49:30] Crab cakes are good, but I feel like those are everywhere.
[00:49:34] I guess they do have Maryland crab cakes.
[00:49:39] I don't really count that as a regional food because it's like, but that was an animal
[00:49:42] that was just living there and you put it in your mouth.
[00:49:44] I think that's the definition of a regional food, my man.
[00:49:47] It's like the beef doesn't come from Philadelphia.
[00:49:54] They're all from North Philly by Temple University.
[00:49:57] What else do you know about North Philly, Adam?
[00:50:01] One that goes to Temple gets mugged apparently at one time.
[00:50:09] There's a Will Smith song from Fresh Prince that he was from West Philly.
[00:50:14] So Ben, Ben, Ben, Venito, Samiami, we just listened to Big Willie's style on W. S.U.C.K.
[00:50:26] They told me that's not the name of the station.
[00:50:38] I've got stage four brain cancer and I'm completely nude in the studio.
[00:50:47] I'm making a woman suck my dick at gunpoint because I'm going to die.
[00:51:00] Just play fucking Billie's old tapes or something.
[00:51:15] It was a year I got my job in radio sitting next to a transmitter all day long that was
[00:51:20] pumping radioactive waves directly into my brain.
[00:51:51] You'd seem to give a shit about women when you made me fucking dead.
[00:51:59] You can DJ that titty contest every fucking year.
[00:52:16] Your goddamn world's dumbest bitch contest every year.
[00:52:28] My parents disowned me and I got a tumor the size of both my nuts and my fucking brain
[00:52:48] Wish we could all be 25 years old again chasing our dream of being a radio guy.
[00:52:58] I thought it was cell phone just holding.
[00:53:01] It would probably be one of those things in 20 years where you're like, oh yeah.
[00:53:07] Yeah, like the way the Roman Empire, they were drinking from lead pipes and shit.
[00:53:16] Yeah, it sucks because we're pretty much all just going to get brain cancer and you
[00:53:19] have to make the painful decision to blow your brains out rather than, you know.
[00:53:23] Or you could eat yourself to death, which would be what I could do.
[00:53:26] Well, honestly dude, that's, I mean, like a lot of people will call bullshit on this,
[00:53:31] The only reason I do cocaine is to damage my heart so that I have a heart attack.
[00:53:48] Wait, someone told me how he died on the toilet.
[00:54:06] Look, as far as tidbits go, that was a good one.
[00:54:14] Well, I thought I was adding to our Don Simpson, you know, art.
[00:54:19] You now you told me that he injected fat into his cock.
[00:54:28] But not only, I mean, to do that is insane, but then to go around being like, yeah, I
[00:54:40] Wheeled here is a weighty wheeled here.
[00:54:48] Wheeled is means it's harder to wield, correct?
[00:54:54] I actually realized while I was trying to.
[00:54:58] Now my question is, can I inject fat into my cock?
[00:55:09] Might just add like a fucking eggplant 150 pounds of fat in it.
[00:55:14] Get all your pubes transported at the time.
[00:55:18] Yeah, my pubes come to like my titties.
[00:55:20] You know, when they get to your pubes put on your head.
[00:55:23] Oh, oh, that would be a hair transplant.
[00:55:26] Just like let's have a little ass curly hair.
[00:55:31] I'm fucking thin with just a huge lumpy cock spilling out of my jeans.
[00:55:49] No, if I'm going to lipo shit, I might as well.
[00:56:01] I also say buy in that looks kind of weird.
[00:56:17] Now that you say wieldy, it makes a lot more sense.
[00:56:32] I don't know what I would inject fat into.
[00:56:38] No, that seems like it would be a bad idea.
[00:56:46] That sounds like it would just sterilize me.
[00:56:50] That would be great instead of getting was active.
[00:56:52] He's just putting fucking 10 pounds of fucking fat in your nuts.
[00:56:58] Yeah, that doesn't seem like it's the answer.
[00:57:03] That way you can fuck raw all the time.
[00:57:08] I saw a bunch of crimson tied again yesterday or the other day.
[00:57:15] The whole time I was just angry that I can't do a Gene Hackman impression.
[00:57:37] Yeah, maybe Denzel could have big tits.
[00:57:39] That scene where they're yelling at each other.
[00:57:45] This is a whole movie tricking him to saying the N word on tape.
[00:57:50] It's not about what you know, it's about what you can prove.
[00:57:58] I want Denzel to be a baby with big tits.
[00:58:51] They made me make my name more American.
[00:58:54] So they changed my last name from Zhao Ling to Washington.
[00:59:02] Every morning when I get my little dick heart and I try and fuck my wife, she says no.
[00:59:17] Every morning, I'll be sure I was dead.
[00:59:33] Stops the only happy one out of the three.
[00:59:40] I think it would be pretty sick to be drawn and quartered.
[00:59:46] Staring to the face of the crowd as you're eviscerated.
[00:59:51] I think that's the thing where they just stretch you.
[00:59:59] Draw and quartered is also just, oh, but it's getting your limbs.
[01:00:03] Well, they, they, with the drawing and quartered you, they, they, like, pull your arms and
[01:00:11] Well, before that happens, they pull your horizontal.
[01:00:19] They cut your stomach open, pull your guts out and set them on fire.
[01:00:23] That's what happens to the end of Braveheart.
[01:00:28] Well, he's your worn underwear, you know?
[01:00:31] I would have loved to have lived in those times.
[01:00:36] In Scotland, Scotland fighting for independence time.
[01:00:40] Well, no, I mean, any of, like, the, you know, the Inquisition, any of the medieval period
[01:00:44] Well, stop's not about the middle ages.
[01:00:49] That, that, you don't want to piss down, huh?
[01:01:07] But they, but, and all you could drink was beer and shit.
[01:01:13] And all monks did was fucking drink, drink beer and then reading shit.
[01:01:17] Water wasn't potable, so they had to drink meat all day.
[01:01:21] I guess that would make you nice and thick.
[01:01:25] But what did the bitch, everyone's probably pretty horny in the middle of the day.
[01:01:34] Yeah, haven't had a bath at their entire lives.
[01:01:39] That's what, that's what potet means have taught me.
[01:01:43] Is that they taught Africa invented showers.
[01:01:47] And that the reason they used forks was because you had shit all over your hands in Europe.
[01:02:05] No, I just, I'm sorry I came to the conclusion.
[01:02:11] Dude, I saw this video on, on Twitter today.
[01:02:14] The fucking, this is Ben Shapiro from his show talking about if you really look at the history,
[01:02:19] actually of the scientific method of, of reason.
[01:02:22] These are things that are specific to Western Judeo-Christian culture.
[01:02:28] This is not something you see while there are obviously Eastern cultures that have some
[01:02:35] These are things that you see and they develop technology, technology for utility is different
[01:02:39] than the spirit of science and an inquisitive nature because in the Judeo-Christian world.
[01:02:53] What's probably the dumbest thing I've seen him say ever.
[01:02:58] But he filtered on him and it was great.
[01:03:10] Well, that should win the fucking Oscars.
[01:03:11] I tried to do it for Trump making fun of the handicapped reporter, but it didn't work.
[01:03:26] The guy that used to do the videos of Donald Trump with a British accent, he'd dub over
[01:03:59] Raymond Park is a Scottish actor, best name for playing Darth Maul.
[01:04:03] A, that you lied and that B, that Nick would just know that.
[01:04:08] Look up Peter Sarah Finowitz, Darth Maul.
[01:04:16] Peter Sarah Finowitz is an interesting man.
[01:04:19] He played Garthon Saul and Guardians of the Galaxy.
[01:04:36] I guess his grandfather went to jail for war crimes.
[01:04:45] For having a lightsaber that goes both ways.
[01:04:47] Wait, which side of the war was Peter Sarah Finowitz on?
[01:05:05] Because you're fucking stupid and you don't know anything about Star Wars?
[01:05:09] Because you're fucking an idiot and you fucking say dumb shit about Star Wars.
[01:05:17] Were we doing that on the show or is that just hanging out?
[01:05:20] No, we're doing it on the show, I think.
[01:05:33] Peter Sarah Finowitz did the voice of Darth Maul.
[01:05:47] He was played by British actor Roy Park.
[01:05:52] He also played Toad and Snake Eyes from GI Joe.
[01:05:56] Peter Sarah Finowitz did the voice of Darth Maul.
[01:06:07] The guy that's on screen his face, you see the entire fucking movie.
[01:06:10] Oh, I know it because I like this one line.
[01:06:12] It's kind of like this show that he made called Look Around You.
[01:06:14] Not like fucking James Earl Jones who has an iconic voice.
[01:06:20] I know it because I like Look Around You and then I found one.
[01:06:22] And then the movie where Darth Maul's like, Oh, excuse me.
[01:06:26] Oh, yeah, that's I'd been a classic Sarah Finowitz.
[01:06:34] And you had to get up and dance around to celebrate that.
[01:06:39] I have to admit he was completely defeated and then that's fine.
[01:06:43] He did actually end up sort of being right.
[01:06:46] I'm reading here that there's another thing that says I'm the one that actually won.
[01:06:52] I'm actually pulling up some records here that says from your doctor.
[01:06:57] He's got to stop putting that stuff on Wikipedia.
[01:07:00] It's at the end of Peter Sarah Finowitz with Wikipedia.
[01:07:05] There's a note from Nick Mullen's doctor that says all of his patients are getting.
[01:07:17] I forgot this episode started with Nick Moore Suckers.
[01:07:20] Yeah, my name is Pedo Suckoff-Kizewitz.
[01:07:30] Well, thank you guys for having a time.
[01:07:39] Memorial day, I guess, and then we're in Toronto.
[01:07:42] We're in Canada in June starting on the 14th, and I will be in LA June 10th that week before