Cum Town | Premium | 06/09/2019
[00:00:08] Damn I got an email from name.com. Okay, what is the what do they say?
[00:00:13] They're celebrating Pride Month with dot LGBT and dot
[00:00:17] We should get over come to come down. Okay. I'm sure okay. Go buy it. I mean, I'm sure it's like how much
[00:00:24] This isn't gonna be abused at all. Yeah
[00:00:33] Damn Mike Penn stock gay yep, they'll be good. I'm free land. I don't know why you would say that
[00:00:39] I was getting snatched. I don't know why you would go. I don't think that'd be a URL address Jewish at him free
[00:00:45] For who for me that would be for an admin for the Jewish admin of my gay website
[00:00:56] I mean, there's no way that somebody hasn't already bought Adam Friedland. I gay
[00:01:00] I gotta buy that I gotta turn around when I get home and buy that immediately
[00:01:06] No, there's no way that there's not anyone else who listens to the show that doesn't get named.com emails
[00:01:14] Don't know I'm willing to bet no one has bought it yet. I
[00:01:18] Hope so because I'm about to buy it and then it's gonna be my official website that is funny
[00:01:24] Yeah, just check out my website out of free land. Okay, not good. Do they have dot trans?
[00:01:29] They should yeah, what the hell it's a four-letter extension bathroom dot trans
[00:01:34] Nick at bathroom dot trans admin at bathroom dot trans. Mm-hmm. We need a lot of them, dude
[00:01:47] Was a target I was a target and they have like a separate section for gay clothes now. Oh, yeah, I saw that
[00:01:54] Yeah, I was at target like two days ago. They have like a pride month section. No, you guys were both in that section, huh?
[00:02:00] Yeah, we were I mean at different times that section just checking it out
[00:02:05] We're shopping it out. We're browsing a target. Mm-hmm. Have to browse the items anyways. That shit is hilarious
[00:02:11] Yeah, I can imagine you like we're in a coma you went in a coma eight years ago
[00:02:15] You wake up and you go into Target and then it's like
[00:02:19] Just fat mannequins and then it's like gay people have their own section now
[00:02:27] Yeah, there's somebody yet. It's like somebody should be fired
[00:02:33] We're yep, we have we're celebrating the brown versus the landmark brown versus boards of education decision at Target by introducing a
[00:02:45] Stock up on the latest Kool-Aid flavors and watermelon themed t-shirts in the black's only section at Target separate but better
[00:02:56] That's what it's pride mean to me it means being sold imagery from the the gay pride movement 40 years ago
[00:03:03] That's right in a separate section just for gay
[00:03:08] What do they have in the gay clothes aisle this is rainbow shirts and shit gotcha
[00:03:13] Let a lot of nothing fun harnesses a lot of harnesses
[00:03:16] Yep, mm-hmm one of those dildo chairs. Yeah, yeah, yeah in a pride. Yeah
[00:03:26] We've now been doing the podcast three years because I remember pride was
[00:03:30] When we first started the show it was pride week and I went and there is that old black lady in the wheelchair
[00:03:35] That's right. Oh my god. That's a great story. It's a great every one. It's a loot to her
[00:03:40] She's like the guardian angel of the show. Yeah
[00:03:42] Yeah, yeah, just beating off her old crusty pussy
[00:03:49] She has a gay son named guardian angel. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah
[00:03:57] What's the last name? Johnson or something? Yeah, one of those fucking yeah, yeah, yeah
[00:04:02] Was it that was it was pride month we come it was yeah Wow
[00:04:08] Our babies a toddler a gay toddler now if you're born during pride month you have to be gay, right?
[00:04:15] Mm-hmm. Yeah, you have to raise your child. That's your that's your star sign your your rising home
[00:04:26] My ass is in mercury. Oh, yeah, and that just means you put a thermometer up your ass is interesting your your chart is in
[00:04:40] Star sign is Venus razor that you use as a shave your asshole
[00:04:51] Damn dude, I love astrology so fucking real dude. It's so sick. Are you into astrology now? No, no, it's fucking dumb as shit
[00:05:00] Yeah, I mean so is like math and oh of course all sciences all proven sciences
[00:05:07] Stupid I didn't say astrology wasn't real. I said it was gay. Yeah, yeah, exactly
[00:05:15] Wish I mean, I don't wish I was born like the 1400s, but like
[00:05:20] Scientists were just allowed 80 aspects like they got they got like
[00:05:23] They had the dumbest theories about they were like barbers. Yeah, like do like they cut your hair and the surgeons were like
[00:05:35] mechanics scissors technicians. Yeah, but also like the theory that like
[00:05:41] Flies came like from rotten meat turned into flies. Yeah was like a
[00:05:46] Big-ass scientific years for us. Yeah, yeah, so funny and blood like I'm asses
[00:05:53] I would have known better back then you wouldn't let people put leeches on you
[00:05:59] Like say my break isn't working. They're like still use leeches whenever I get a week. Yeah leeches are still used in medicine
[00:06:06] No, they're not in Western medicine in Western medicine. There's certain things that leeches are used for like what?
[00:06:12] Oh, look it up, but yeah, I know they still use leeches
[00:06:16] I would if if your dick can't get hard you make a leech suck your dick get all that limp dick blood out. Mm-hmm
[00:06:24] And then sign you know you'd in fresh blood you get a guy you get put the leech on the hard on a hard dick guy
[00:06:31] And then you drink his blood you yeah, I think that's worth
[00:06:36] I think that works. I would take a capsule of some hard
[00:06:40] Dick blood if it meant my dick was hard like in pill form
[00:06:44] Yeah, I wouldn't want to actually drink blood but if it's like in a gel capsule and my dick gets hard
[00:06:49] No, I'm into drinking blood like goth kind of got a vampire play vampire show
[00:06:58] I love Twitter cuz it's like I just saw you could just randomly end up on like a weird only fans
[00:07:03] Mm-hmm and there was some some like some girls
[00:07:11] Sucks your drains you of all your life force the use of leeches in modern medicine made a small scale come back in the
[00:07:17] 1980s after years of decline with the microsurgery
[00:07:22] Your dick in the yeah congestion can arise due to inefficient venous drainage
[00:07:28] Leeches can reduce swelling in the tissues and promote healing they're used to help restore circulation after microsurgery to reattach body parts
[00:07:35] So if you get your if your arm gets cut off and they fucking put it back together and they have to suit your all like the
[00:07:42] I don't know capital or whatever. Yeah. Yeah, then these leeches for that nice. Yeah good for those motherfuckers
[00:07:48] They give it a varicose veins. Yeah, I mean they make they make some shit
[00:07:52] Yeah, what happens if you do if you do put a leech on your dick?
[00:07:57] This sucks the blood out for you double the size of your dick
[00:08:08] Stop we all know the truth. I said my dick was 4.5 inches
[00:08:17] Give me a four and a half inch dick. It's bigger by the way
[00:08:20] Everyone listening. It's not for I'm including the leech in the measure. No, he's not included
[00:08:32] Damn what other old-fashioned techniques they got still got around dude wooden dentures
[00:08:38] Still get those bespoke dentures ivory ivory. Yeah, well you can't it's illegal to trade an ivory
[00:08:46] That's why Adam family does it. Yeah, they own slaves. They rape
[00:08:51] Would you bet would you get tusks just straight tusks instead of like your little like walrus tusks?
[00:08:58] No like elephant. Yeah, that shout out. That's so funny that some of the Jews went to Africa. They're like Israel
[00:09:05] Yeah, that's pretty good, but it doesn't feel oppressive enough
[00:09:10] But I'll let you I'll let you stick with that what has not how we need now is to come up with propaganda to change
[00:09:18] No, that's not what happened. I have something about Israel did not exist at the time
[00:09:23] Perhaps we could come up with a timeline. Well, so you're saying at the time. No Jews thought that Israel belonged them
[00:09:31] Jews living in Palestine at the time. So yeah, it had nothing to do with Zionism
[00:09:35] Yeah, so people didn't go to New York because of Zion. Yeah, Israel. Nobody thought Israel. Yeah, it's a good delis
[00:09:43] Yeah, when does not what happened folks?
[00:09:47] 48 was when it doesn't everyone think that shit is theirs though. Jesus thought that forever
[00:09:52] Everyone thinks that shit's there. Yeah, well, it's just revealed that it's a modern thing after they got tired of going to Africa
[00:09:57] No, that's not what happened. Just said they got we got tired of going the timeline is they got tired of going to New York and Africa
[00:10:07] They needed something dry. Yeah a dryer climate. Mm-hmm. It's not dry in the Cape peninsula Israel
[00:10:15] No, where my family moved in Africa. That's what I mean
[00:10:18] They got tired of the humidity of New York and Africa. I guess they wanted an arid climate for their various rashes
[00:10:24] Yeah, they love deserts. That's why they love Los Angeles and
[00:10:30] Not so much Florida. That's humid. I should be they love Florida. Oh, they don't. Yes, they do Italians. They stole it from the Italian
[00:10:39] They moved to New York and they tried they love Florida more than they love
[00:10:42] Vacants like maybe we can just trick people into thinking we're Italian. That's not what happened when you get older. It's kind of hard to tell. Yeah, when they're not is
[00:10:53] They went to they went to Africa around the same time Jews were going to Ellis Island
[00:10:58] It was like the part of the same immigration out of Eastern Europe. Why do they pick Africa?
[00:11:02] I think there's like some family legend, which I don't think is true that they got literally on the wrong boat, but uh
[00:11:10] There was like there was all of the Jews all of the Jews
[00:11:18] All the Jews in in southern Africa are from Lithuania
[00:11:23] It's like only Lithuanian Jews went there, but yeah
[00:11:25] So and then the I guess they went around the time like the early 20th century like just part of the time where
[00:11:32] They there was like pogroms and stuff. They needed to get out of Europe. Yeah, people really have been fucking Jews up for quite some time
[00:11:40] I will I will give them that. Yeah, thank you. Everyone keeps fucking your asses pretty bad
[00:11:45] Yeah, it was we wrote we wrote that victim shit for a while, but I think we kind of lost it with Israel Israel and
[00:11:54] Who's the guy from Nickelodeon? Oh, yeah, Dan Schneider. Yeah
[00:11:59] Dan Schneider wine scene in Israel. Yeah
[00:12:02] And uh and Bernie made off I got to say
[00:12:13] The guy I just said Schneider. Mm-hmm a weird mix of they they covered all the like
[00:12:20] Oh pedophile gay pedophile straight. Yeah. Yeah pussy either. Yep. Mm-hmm. Um, yeah, that's true
[00:12:28] So jew jewish perverts have range jewish sex criminals. Yeah, it's I it's really fucked up when they pigeonhole
[00:12:36] They think you just molest kids. Yeah, you're like, it's not only kids. You know, it's also
[00:12:41] We eat actresses pussies in the four seasons. We jack off into plants. We just come in the plants
[00:12:51] Uh moon vase less moon vase. I don't think you want not Latino. I'm pretty sure he's Jewish. Yeah, he thought he was Latino
[00:13:01] Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba you know your vase and think like a guy playing like
[00:13:06] The maria like in a mariachy band shaking that shit. I just thought it was a weird name moon vase. Yeah, that sounds like a fucking latino guy to me
[00:13:14] Why moon vase vase, yeah, but it's v. Yes. Yeah born in brooklyn to a jewish family. Wow
[00:13:23] Yeah, they're all they're all fucking Jews. Holy shit. They do control hollywood. Mel Gibson was right. I'm sorry
[00:13:29] I'm sorry. What's mel up to these days? He seems like everyone keeps getting mad. He's making the new he's making
[00:13:36] No, he's making the what the new around the turn of the century. Yeah, he's like focusing on one specific ship
[00:13:42] He's like boys. I got it. I'll make it where the blacks are the victims
[00:13:45] It's the true story of how lithewania used the juice to infiltrate
[00:13:53] It's not what happened based on a script by adam freeland as well by adam freeland no called the true story
[00:14:00] Would you develop that wrong boat the wrong boat?
[00:14:11] Craig's all our movie dragged across call on real quick
[00:14:14] Would you write a movie where mel Gibson plays your great great great grandfather? Yeah, but a Jew but a Jew
[00:14:20] So that's like him saying sorry. Yeah, but he's the film in the movie
[00:14:26] Gibson should write a movie where he plays like an elderly hiscitic man that's hate crime by blacks and crown heights
[00:14:34] Him just trying not to be a turn it racist about it
[00:14:38] Right, even though he continually is harassing by black teens. Yes. Yeah, but he won't say it the movie's called. I won't say
[00:14:45] Yeah, yeah, yeah, just say it and we'll stop
[00:15:01] I think I would write that. That's a good move. Yeah, there's like a really there's like a really just intense scene in the movie where he shoved
[00:15:08] And $15 worth of locks end up on the side. Oh, that's what breaks him. Yeah, he's right
[00:15:21] One thing when they beat the shit out of me
[00:15:27] Beautiful smoked that a lot of that a lot of that happened in the holocaust
[00:15:32] It was a tragedy. Oh, yeah, the camps and the chambers like we all know that story, but the the spilled fish
[00:15:41] That never was consumed. They just was allowed to go back
[00:15:44] Yeah, they like grabbed everyone out of their ghettos the the delis were full of locks
[00:15:49] That's just a little that that scene in mouse were uh the dad's like, huh that guy's a schfatsa
[00:15:54] And he's like he's hating on some black eye. Mm-hmm. And then the son mouse is like dad. You were in the holocaust
[00:16:02] He's like so yeah, so I hate black. That's my prize. Yeah, I get to say it
[00:16:14] Now we get it get out of jail free card for the rest of my life
[00:16:23] Yeah, touch the girls, but when he was in a wheelchair
[00:16:28] You'd be better a monopoly a put in jail free card where you can put another player in jail that would go they should add that
[00:16:34] Yeah, she hit up old milton bradley. It's just called sir stop resisting with sir stop resisting card. You can use it on anyone
[00:16:42] Yeah, and then it's true sir stop resisting and then the body camera about instead of monopolies
[00:16:49] Okay. Yes, and it's a Jeaned an appley themed
[00:16:52] I would love that. Hey Jeaned an apple here for Jeaned an appley monopoly
[00:16:58] It's monopoly, but it's Jeaned an appley themed monopoly and it's every piece every piece of uh
[00:17:04] Real estate is going out of his parts of yonk. It's severely under water
[00:17:09] Different parts of yonkers except what's the most expensive one Broadway and uh river del
[00:17:15] Huh park and Broadway. Oh you're yeah, so the most expensive one for him would be arthraving you probably river del
[00:17:21] And river del where's the Bronx? It's like above
[00:17:25] Um like right across the river from like in wood washington
[00:17:28] So river del and brought in arthraving two expensive ones and everything else is different parts of yonkers. Yeah
[00:17:36] Is arthra avenue nice? I guess it is no, but it's little Italy. It's brox little Italy
[00:17:40] They got good sandwiches. I went there recently. It's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah, it's not like the boardwalk on Atlantic city is like
[00:17:47] Yeah, the nicest. It's just the boardwalk. Yeah, it's worth a lot of
[00:17:53] Adam was getting sucked off, but it was a man
[00:18:04] That was a respect that was actually the first draft of that soprano scene
[00:18:08] But hey, that's a gay child. I have sex with
[00:18:15] Did not know who I was opening scene of surprise in flat
[00:18:18] Pilot was Tony going about his day and he's driving and he sees Adam just going about his business. He's like what the fuck
[00:18:26] And he's just so viscerally annoyed at Adam and his presence
[00:18:30] Over here's Adam saying I think scarlet joe hansen would like me
[00:18:34] I think why wearing crocs and pretending that that's like a personality not wearing crocs right now
[00:18:40] Just guys look i'm wearing crocs. Isn't that I don't do that sometimes in the house
[00:18:44] I'm hilarious that I've got one of the most popular types of shoes in the world. I've never done that
[00:18:50] I've literally never done this whole area have crocs. Yeah, I wear them in the house
[00:18:56] Like slides or something house shoes. Isn't it hilarious that I have these so tony's man
[00:19:01] I think scarlet joe hansen would love my shoes and then tony crashes his car
[00:19:06] And carbell is like what's the what what the hell is the matter with you and he's like I saw a fake
[00:19:13] Hey, that was the original opening yeah, and then he has to go to melphy's office
[00:19:17] I think they made good changes and she's like
[00:19:22] Now tony this homosexual child you saw what about it what about him made you so angry
[00:19:29] My dad would bust guys like that up back in the day. You can't do it anymore
[00:19:33] They get to have their own radio shows now there's no respect for the old neighborhood guys like us
[00:19:43] Damn yeah, by the way, and you were on this early, but the sopranos house is still up for sale
[00:19:48] Uh that was not the sopranos house. I found a house that looked just like the sopranos house
[00:19:54] I was like I want to buy the sopranos house and then a week later the actual house went west called well
[00:19:58] Right how much is it people understand?
[00:20:00] $4 million tapped into the system you are you know, I can see things that's crazy before they happen
[00:20:06] I thought that was the other thing too some lady spent $40,000 on chocolates. No, huh?
[00:20:12] Two weeks later. I don't know some bitch really. Yeah, she was listening to the pod
[00:20:16] So real fucking respect who is that one? I don't know. I got an electric eye
[00:20:21] All right, dude. Well do say some shit about I don't know
[00:20:28] What do we need what's what's a technology that could save the world?
[00:20:31] No, that's not gonna happen. No, that won't happen at all
[00:20:34] But if you say it maybe it will dude if we've made the sopranos house and we've gotten this bitch to buy
[00:20:44] Hallucinogenic that you take and it makes your dick it makes dick meat grow on the side of your neck
[00:20:53] Besides though not longer thicker, okay, it just fills it out
[00:20:57] But it's a hallucinogen too. So you trip and then after your trip
[00:21:01] You wake up with a bigger dick is big dude. Tell me that wouldn't rock. Well, is it is a scary type of trip? No, it's awesome
[00:21:08] It's a fun. Well, you don't know. It's like any kind you know, yeah
[00:21:11] You gotta strap in you gotta strap in if it's like a scary one where you're like everyone I know hates me
[00:21:17] But if you wake up in your cock is meatier. Yeah, it's worth it. I think it's nice
[00:21:23] I love it. It's like a salvia trip salivos the worst. I like your idea
[00:21:28] Really did you have like a full like full body? It was awesome. It was like I was a fucking
[00:21:33] A headache for like six hours afterwards that happened. That's happened a couple my friends my brother and my friend
[00:21:39] Took it and they hated it. They thought they my friend uh said he thought he was dead and then he was a book
[00:21:45] Mm-hmm and the people were reading him and closing him and shit
[00:21:48] But I felt like I was on a big-ass mountain and I was a fucking conquering hero
[00:21:53] Everything my like my old roommate who gave it to me his head turned into like a house like a talking house like pewees playhouse vibe
[00:22:01] My friends turned into like cars. Yeah, their whole bodies were little cars. Yeah, it was tight
[00:22:06] I liked salvia it was fine when you're tripping
[00:22:08] But then like 90 seconds in when you realize you're tripping it sucks
[00:22:12] It's like I just want to go back to normal my experience at all and then it's over in six minutes or whatever
[00:22:16] It's less than that. It's like two minutes. Whatever. Yeah, you ever just salvia? No never never once
[00:22:22] Wow, it's legal that feels like some shit you would have gotten into when you were like 13
[00:22:26] No, um, I tried smoking once I didn't do anything because I guess I didn't hit it right gotcha
[00:22:31] Yeah, yeah, you have to like hold it in or something get an extra hold it in people say
[00:22:37] Yeah, you don't remember exhaling it. Can you still get salvia?
[00:22:40] Yeah, I think it's I think it's like legal. I think you get online or like a headshot
[00:22:46] I'm scared of hollers and agents at this point. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I won't actually that's not true
[00:22:52] Because I was about to say I won't do mushrooms anymore, but I've been doing like a little cap and stem kind of like
[00:23:01] If you're out on the town, how often do you do that? I did it in Toronto a couple months ago
[00:23:06] You just like when we were out what you smuggled in no someone something like a friend of dashes who lived there like gave me a cap
[00:23:15] When it was great you did hallucinogen's name
[00:23:18] Years ago really yeah now the last time I did mushrooms. It was like I was I just felt like okay about not freaking out
[00:23:26] And it's like that I didn't need a different feeling than that. Yeah, you know, yeah, you don't want to feel like hell
[00:23:31] SDS like I always laugh a lot and I have a great time. It's like very joyous that I do feel like mushrooms can make me depressed
[00:23:42] Whatever man, we should go back to salvia
[00:23:49] No, I don't think it'll like benefit me in any way like it's just gonna be shitty and then yeah whenever I do acid
[00:23:55] I feel like it benefits me in some way like I feel like I think about something in a different way
[00:24:01] Yeah, what do you think about in a different way last time I thought about empathy
[00:24:06] Seriously, it's gay to say it out loud, but I really did
[00:24:12] That's pretty tight and then I was like, okay, I should like focus on
[00:24:16] Considering other people's feelings more loving loving my fellow neighbor
[00:24:20] Yeah thinking about how something I say makes another person feel not just trying to say
[00:24:25] Need acid to do that no, but you think about your life from a different
[00:24:29] You know point of view for a couple hours and then you're like, oh, it's like that's like a thing
[00:24:34] It's interesting to think about and then
[00:24:36] The last time last time I did acid I was like crying on a on a bench across from a fucking church
[00:24:43] And why neighbor saw me. I don't even know man. I was having like beautiful thoughts and I was like, I love my mom
[00:24:49] I started crying and my neighbor walked by and he was like, hey, man. What's up? And I was like
[00:25:00] He's like, how you doing man? He's like some fucking friendly ass Brazilian guy and then he sees me he's like, what are you meditating? I was like
[00:25:10] Please go because you not know what meditating is. I don't know man. He's foreign get meditating
[00:25:17] Puedo sucked my dick. You got a head from him when you're an acid pajoe. I've never tried to get hard on that
[00:25:23] Monofa is so clear fucking dick or something
[00:25:28] And over here crying on this park bench
[00:25:31] Listen, you know, I just saw you just cheating and stuff
[00:25:42] I you know, I mean, I don't want to like
[00:25:44] Ruin your day or anything, but if I could like suck on your penis
[00:25:50] Yep, and I was like, well, of course my friend just takes some, you know, I'm gonna ask something about empathy. So yeah, it's okay
[00:25:56] I mean I want to both suck on your penis and kill myself at the same time
[00:26:02] Like it seriously is no big deal if you're not into that
[00:26:07] If you could just put your penis in my mouth and I could blow my fucking brains out wait, how would he do it?
[00:26:12] He puts what do you mean my cock is in his mouth then he goes gun
[00:26:16] Yeah on the top of his head. Are you supposed to shoot through your mouth or you're not so mean it don't let's not pretend
[00:26:20] There's not room for both in there. That's yeah
[00:26:23] Oh, that's true. What if my cock gets shot off it won't
[00:26:26] I'm scared. Well, he could aim like a little bit like towards the tip. What if when he blows his brains out? He was like a 9 millimeter
[00:26:35] I don't think I let my neighbor suck my dick. He kill himself at the same time. Yeah, I'd let him do
[00:26:40] I'd let him suck my dick. I guess that would be really really
[00:26:43] Just disgusting. Yeah to see it happen. Especially while you're going to fix it. Yeah
[00:26:54] It would be metal that is it would be metal. That's how rob hell forgets his dick sucked every day
[00:27:00] Did he show up? You're like, what are you doing? Like, oh, just having a really good time listening to docking. Yeah
[00:27:10] Getting my dick sucked at listening. They're like, oh, you're from Norway. Yes. Yes
[00:27:17] Yeah, nevermind guys. This guy's from Norway. Just a Norwegian surprise
[00:27:21] He's a black metal guy. Yeah. No, this is just what Norwegian people do
[00:27:25] He's wearing that white and black face paint that almost looks like ICP, but not really yeah
[00:27:29] He looks like someone was wearing ICP, but they were crying. Uh-huh. Oh
[00:27:36] So Norway's either death metal or like sexy ass blonde bitches
[00:27:40] Not even that hot dude. No. Yeah, they are Norwegian women
[00:27:46] I've known a couple of Norwegian women and not all fucking like
[00:27:50] Yeah, I'm not all Scandinavian's are like tall and blonde. Everyone says that that they're tall. No
[00:27:55] Well, for the most part they are. What do they look like a lot like a there's a lot higher percentage of tall balls
[00:28:00] So what are they what do the fucked up ones look like?
[00:28:17] Who would be cool? That's what we're missing dude on the fucking on the pod
[00:28:20] Because we have a southern european that's true an eastern european and a western european
[00:28:26] We need northern we need a northern european to complete the white national
[00:28:36] We need a scandinavian western civilization
[00:28:40] Scandinavia well, I google Norwegian women and these women all seem to be hot well there you go
[00:28:46] Yeah, I'm trying I mean, but they were probably the government would make the
[00:28:49] Yeah, seo government puts these women in jail
[00:28:56] To be too hot something like that for their pussy's being too juicy
[00:29:01] Yeah, what are they all right scandinavian remember there was that thing like in like ukraine or something they were like
[00:29:07] I don't even know what it was for but there were these protesters called the femmen
[00:29:12] Who were like hot chicks that would just like run on stage at like government events or with their tits up
[00:29:17] Yeah, I do remember that but I don't know what they were protesting for but I think they were brave
[00:29:22] Are they pussy? Yeah, they are brave and I think they protest should be like that
[00:29:26] Honestly dude when you if you then google scandinavian women tits it gets even better. Yeah, so just a little okay
[00:29:34] That's uh we can check that out a little fucking note
[00:29:38] Dan have you ever been to Norway or any of that shit? No, I've never been to I don't think I've ever been to mainland
[00:29:44] Call it a whore way. Yeah, I'm gonna stack them sluts up. Oh, yeah, drop damn fold them like a fucking
[00:29:51] I'm talking about like a car a Costco for sex
[00:29:55] Hoorway, you know, I'm strolling through trying out the samples. Yeah, you got a nude bitch next to a tiny microwave
[00:30:02] Warming upper pussy every time. Let me just suck on your other nipple
[00:30:06] No, I know they're the same probably but I just like samples
[00:30:09] Man there is no line man. Okay. You just walk up and take what you want. It's horny anarchy
[00:30:16] Did I ever tell you about that bitch a Costco that yelled at me that one time? No, basically with my friend he had a membership
[00:30:21] and there was like I would just you know like
[00:30:24] Of course eat the samples because there's no rules. Yeah, they don't give a shit
[00:30:28] No, and so I'm sitting standing this one place talking to my friend eating all these mini tikitos
[00:30:33] And this fucking is supposed to take one. It's just nosy bitch. Mm-hmm. Oh, not an employee
[00:30:38] Not an employee this fucking nosy bitch that just goes
[00:30:41] She's like she walks up and does that dumb like nosy fat woman thing where she's like well, I guess I will try one
[00:30:48] It's like I watched you walk all the way. Yeah, you don't like your fat fucking ass doesn't want to
[00:30:53] Well, I think that's a fine. Oh, I think some people this, you know, some people really are surprised
[00:31:06] Yeah, you know just be yourself and eat the fucking thing clean out
[00:31:10] And then so she's easy as me eating them and she looks at me and she's like
[00:31:16] You know and tries to like get a noise in thinking that's gonna have any effect
[00:31:20] And then I continue talking to my friend and eating them and then she goes to walk away
[00:31:27] Goes to walk away again, then shakes her head and turns around comes up to us. She just has to she has to
[00:31:31] It's her head help. I'm so good. So Susan you always say you're gonna say something today's the day you do it
[00:31:38] You're really only supposed to have one or two guys
[00:31:40] And then I just like immediately took another one and started eating it and went back to talking to my friend
[00:31:49] 15 20 feet away like yelling at her husband who's with the shop
[00:31:53] And the husband looks over and he's just like
[00:32:02] He just does not give a shit at all of course not. He just fucked up his day
[00:32:14] Maybe she's got good pussy. We don't know she might
[00:32:18] That's just a trap though. You never know I'm trapped some tattle tales have good pussy
[00:32:24] That's what you're not ready for well. That's how they get married
[00:32:27] How do you get to that point in your life?
[00:32:29] 40 years old tattling on people because your life sucks dick
[00:32:33] Yeah, it's like the only the only control you ever have in the world is telling some people around some guy in sweatpants
[00:32:39] Who's clearing out the fucking sample rack? Who is you are being a dickhead?
[00:32:44] Yes, you are you're not supposed to eat like 10. Yeah, you're supposed to have one that's part
[00:32:48] You pay 50 dollars a year for the fucking member
[00:33:03] Fuck is a nacho it is literally it's literally so that you can be like oh I've never had cookies in my
[00:33:11] I was type of cook you don't know what samples a chocolate chip cookie some different
[00:33:16] No, we're gonna go to class go right now. I guarantee you they got fucking like cheese filled tortellini's on sample
[00:33:23] We're supposed to have that brand. There's out of your mind
[00:33:28] No, no, stop is right. Stop is right. Maybe they maybe
[00:33:32] Do that a little fucking grocery store. You don't have the ability to do that. It's a catered event
[00:33:40] I mean, yeah, sure. It's a bit of a it's a bit of a like a little treat
[00:33:44] Yeah, because everyone knows on some level that you're correct
[00:33:48] Yeah, but or do like fancy cocktail party. Do you have an entire tray or do you wait for the guy to walk past?
[00:33:57] No, no, Nick is correct in that under the fucking guys of
[00:34:03] Sampling it and trying new product a different brand of something you're familiar with. Yes sure
[00:34:08] You know what you know what cookies are but you don't know what like takes is for example or something like that
[00:34:16] They're just doing it as sort of a nice thing for their customers to have a little fucking snack here
[00:34:20] Literally the only reason people buy a Costco membership
[00:34:28] 400 batteries. How is that worth it? How was a couple of tequitos?
[00:34:33] Only by the way, they only do it on Sundays. It's not every fucking day used to be every day
[00:34:37] I think it I think they do less samples every day, but on Sunday there are more sample. Okay. Yeah, but
[00:34:46] The thing not to save money on wholesale things but to go and get a microwave fucking chicken fajita every once in a while
[00:34:55] As many as you please and their food court is the fucking best deal in the game that is 150 for a dollar
[00:35:03] For a hot dog and a fucking and those fucking chicken bakes moron chicken bakes are fucking slamming
[00:35:08] You guys can't see it, but I'm getting my dick sucked by somebody right now. I just love the big pretzels there big pretzels are great
[00:35:24] Food court and listen and it's also like what's the argument? I'm gonna ask all because it's like well
[00:35:28] Those could have gone to somebody else and it's like they're just gonna fucking make more that no just to stay in there making those all day long
[00:35:34] Her job ends and it's it's no way. I'm gonna. It's not like I'm gonna eat seven boxes of taquitos
[00:35:39] They're always so nice to the sample ladies. They're always also like they're always really nice old ladies
[00:35:45] Because they're fucking rushing they're flown in from the killing field
[00:35:53] Posco actually takes really good care of their customers their customers or their sorry their their employees really
[00:35:59] Yeah, yeah, they give like full benefit
[00:36:01] I'm sure I'm just saying I've everyone I've seen has been like a Filipino. Yeah
[00:36:06] Well, okay. The argument is the same for people that aren't supposed to like you're not supposed to like wait till the end to switch a lane
[00:36:16] Everyone went about samples the way you did Nick. Yes, there would not be an
[00:36:20] Enoch you and look I'm just saying you're both two different the two different ends of the fucking I'm just saying yes
[00:36:28] Of course, but you are also abusing the
[00:36:33] Code of conduct. Yes. The unspoken agreement
[00:36:36] The other is right the unspoken agreement that listen you get one you get two maybe you get three if you walk around
[00:36:42] Three if it's very good if it's very good and you want and you do one lap and you say I want to just just
[00:36:48] Can I just have another yeah, yeah, you know and then they give you a little it's social it's social
[00:36:52] It's a etiquette. It's a social contract. Yeah, I agree. It's the only thing keeping us from sleeping in there people are
[00:36:57] Here you go. What do you need to know about Costco's free samples two words unlimited samples?
[00:37:05] What's that from yeah who wrote that who wrote that Costco fucking website
[00:37:18] What else did they say I fully admit to spending at least two hours of clarify this statement and yes
[00:37:22] It seems true numerous sources and numerous anonymous workers and customers on reddit have said that Costco's free samples are unlimited
[00:37:28] Yes unlimited employees aren't allowed to and they want to limit on treats. So yes, you can go to town. They're not allowed just
[00:37:37] I guess they're not allowed to enforce the limit on treats
[00:37:39] So yes, you can go to town on those free snacks
[00:37:41] Just make sure you watch out for this one store policy next time you're a Costco, so now let's see what this is
[00:37:48] What is if a fat bitch tells you to stop you have to
[00:37:55] What's the one policy man now I'm invested oh it's there uh there
[00:37:59] No questions asked return policy. It's the best policy in the world
[00:38:03] Makes me feel alive really no questions asked you could return to anything like a gallon of milk
[00:38:10] On food. It's like a little dicey, but if it's like off or something most definitely they'll take it back
[00:38:18] Not allowed but it's like kind of pathetic to bring food back. It's like feels
[00:38:22] I've never it's that's that's I felt episode. It's like fruit is a gamble. Yeah, like you can't return fruit. You can't return it but Kramer wanted to
[00:38:30] Interesting. Well now I got to go to Costco. Can we wrap this up? Honestly?
[00:38:35] I got my fucking membership burning a hole in my pocket right now. Damn. I just got my car. It's fixed finally
[00:38:41] Is it yeah, I'm trying to get some fucking toilet paper and paper towels
[00:38:49] You can go fucking snitch to the come town facebook group
[00:38:54] By what I told him I said do you want to go to Costco?
[00:38:56] I have to buy a suitcase and he's like and then he took up most of my cargo room in the trunk with his suitcase
[00:39:04] I thought culturally you're supposed to hate rats. Oh, that is true CBS news
[00:39:11] Yeah, Costco hacks fill up on free sample
[00:39:19] Insane trying to save money just go eat all the free samples. Well, you have to remember you have to understand that's an insane
[00:39:27] This is society who wrote that this is fucking CBS news. No dude. It's probably there's CBS local shit
[00:39:33] Which is just some bullshit that anyone can write CBS news.com
[00:39:38] Costco hacks money-saving tips tricks and deals just fill up on free sample
[00:39:43] You're gonna bring your fucking family to Costco to have dinner is that what CBS news wants you to do? Yes
[00:39:52] My family used to do it. What are their Costco hacks during hard times. Yeah, yeah
[00:39:58] We used to go eat meals as a family there
[00:40:01] I would I did used to get fucked up off those samples. I love that boy. Hello. By the way as a little fat boy
[00:40:07] Uh-huh with fat chubby cheeks. You think they're limiting my sample. Well, they used to fuck with me
[00:40:12] No, they used to fuck with me as a kid and say like we need your parent or guardians permission
[00:40:18] That is like a bitch like a snack lady. That's true. She'd be like you need to be with your parents
[00:40:23] I'm like I just ran away from the cart because I want these fucking these fucking pot stickers
[00:40:28] Yep, well little v. Little v would always
[00:40:31] Allow that. Yeah, she was a rubber stamp on me getting samples
[00:40:34] Oh, I guess it's because for allergy purposes. Yeah, if you're allergic to pewnuts or something
[00:40:40] Yeah, it makes Costco actually has a policy to encourage vendors to give out unlimited samples
[00:40:46] Oh, it's the vendors taking the hit. That's why Costco doesn't care. So don't be afraid to go back a second or third time
[00:40:53] Well, that's see that's that's reasonable. Yeah reasonable. I'd say fuck both of you dumbass
[00:41:00] Both of you pretend like you're socialist. You don't even understand how it fucking works
[00:41:04] Oh, it's just socialism is the Costco free samples. Yes
[00:41:16] Damn dude. Okay. Listen, of course arbitrary rules out of etiquette
[00:41:20] People should go wanting because it because of the way it looks you're more concerned with the optics
[00:41:25] Maintaining the class structure people who can go afford their own tikitos
[00:41:29] Mm-hmm and those who don't want them for the whole week. They just need food now, right and they're gonna eat all these samples. Yes
[00:41:36] You guys are siding with this dumb bitch coming up
[00:41:39] Trying to play police off. No, we're trying to no, no, no, we're not with this vigilante
[00:41:45] Absolutely not trying to adult home on a air. We don't want we've been an employee who was in the wrong you would have sided with
[00:41:53] She's been a boy in the wrong anyone snitching. I will not I will not she's been a
[00:41:57] Title team employee that sir said sir be like cool if you only took a couple
[00:42:01] Here's dude would have been on her side even though we now know that there's no policy for that
[00:42:06] And I could have reported that woman and had her jailed
[00:42:09] No, here's the sign I'm on because I know you and I know when you definitely took more than what you wanted
[00:42:16] What you needed no out of yes, that's impossible first of all
[00:42:19] I'm not gonna fill up on tikitos. I had I had advocated for I probably had seven
[00:42:26] Not a full tikito either. They they cut them with sevens too many men for the good of the populace. I think so too
[00:42:33] That's all I'm saying listen. I needed seven. You did not need seven. You could have had three or four
[00:42:39] Why why go that would have satiated you no it wouldn't have I'm telling you I needed seven. I took what I needed
[00:42:48] No, that's why you know what you're right. I'm not a socialist. It's better in theory in practice
[00:42:53] We got guys in probably Mountain Dew pajama pants at the time. Where was this here in Austin?
[00:42:59] No, this is in Maryland. Oh in Maryland. Yeah, I was in Gaithersburg. Oh, okay
[00:43:02] You stab I think it's a Sam's club now, but it used to be a Costco
[00:43:05] I used to have a Costco by my high school. We get lunch there
[00:43:08] When we we were allowed to get off campus lunches lunch, bro. Remember that I used to sneak out
[00:43:14] Skip class leave art class early go to Costco. Go to chipotle
[00:43:18] When you pull it was you then we lost we lost off campus
[00:43:24] Dining because some kid got a fucking car accident and they were like now the whole school can't do it some fucking
[00:43:37] Look man, I'm just saying I feel like you probably overtook the tequitos. No
[00:43:45] You're the kind of people that say that people should get well, you shouldn't be able to buy candy with food stamps
[00:43:51] I'm not ever this is both of you guys saying I never said that
[00:43:54] Oh that the food stamps people some of them are abusing the system by taking too many chocolates
[00:43:59] I want that first of all when would I ever be against people getting
[00:44:12] And that's that's what I'm saying. You're the outlier a perfect system can't be abused
[00:44:20] It's not a perfect then there so let's go doesn't so you're saying Costco is not a perfect system because it's unlimited
[00:44:25] It is a perfect system. You say a perfect system can't be abused as many as I fucking need it
[00:44:29] And there's still more there's no limits and it didn't affect their sales and it didn't affect their bottom line
[00:44:34] What if everyone took that many tequia? How does that change the conversion rate would be anarchy would be anarchy?
[00:44:39] How does it change too long it would take too long to get the tequito exactly, you know
[00:44:46] The child's the hungry so then they have to hire someone else to make more tequito. Oh, okay
[00:44:51] So now you're also a job you're creating jobs. Yeah. All right. Okay. Damn. That's a good point
[00:45:04] That's if I haven't considered every one of these
[00:45:19] Yeah, we go to red hook Costco is there where's it no it's uh
[00:45:26] Sunset park slob sunset park or something they got one right over an l.i.c
[00:45:30] That's my Costco. It's a nice Costco. They got a waterfront part benches. You can even go
[00:45:36] It's right by the water right by the story of park. So I see loser indian city. No, no
[00:45:42] City all right, right. There's a nice art museum finally. There is a city for guys like me
[00:45:52] Actually, it stands for a long house. I will never get any pussy
[00:45:58] Have moved there to find the pussy to become on my penis
[00:46:11] Absolutely. Hold on. Yeah, it's filled with water. I'm surprised to find out that most things can freeze
[00:46:21] What can apples freeze people can freeze
[00:46:26] Mean really you can freeze like and you're trying to lecture me on the
[00:46:31] Saying understanding would freeze solid or because like you're grapes. No, no because grapes don't freeze solid
[00:46:37] They still a little bit of the physical world
[00:46:42] What I'm saying is can it freeze to the point that I can't eat it
[00:46:47] That's what I meant that I'm sorry for how's your apple doing? No, I put it in the fridge
[00:46:51] Oh, you still want it crispy and chili. I still want a crispy and chill. I like a cold fruit love
[00:46:56] I love I like I serve a lukewarm sort of mealy apple. That is no
[00:47:03] Kind of grainy. Are you joking? Please?
[00:47:05] Jokey. Yeah, that's you never know man. You have some weird preferences. I don't actually have any preferences
[00:47:11] And I don't know how I feel about anything. Have you ever have the cuzco all the fucking no I just say oh
[00:47:17] Interesting you're a chameleon. You take positions. Not a chameleon
[00:47:21] I'm a I got a gift for gap. Mm-hmm. Yes. He's a broadcast. I'm gabbing. Yep. That is true
[00:47:27] I did recedes podcast the other day and then it's like we're like 30 minutes in I'm like well the problem with freedom of speech
[00:47:34] And it's like I don't want to be doing this
[00:47:37] It's like why doesn't someone say something funny so we don't have to do this. Yeah. Yeah. Oh god
[00:47:42] Oh, I hate when we when you get locked into making points. Yeah, which I never do. Yeah, I get slippery, dude
[00:47:48] Once points start getting made I'm out. I get caught. I'm ghost like swazy
[00:47:52] I get caught you do get caught cuz you want to be smart. I want to sound smart you do
[00:47:56] But I'm not and I've given I've given I'm actually a pretty dumb person. I just want to keep the conversation going right
[00:48:03] So you could accuse you could accuse Racine we should get Milo your nopolis on this show
[00:48:10] We should get a black guy and just the entire time pretend like we think he's Scott Joplin for some reason
[00:48:19] We can interview him as if he's Scott Joplin who Scott you're the compose is the entertainer the entertainer
[00:48:25] What do you mean the entertainer who's a piano player from the 1920s? Oh, no
[00:48:30] The entertainer wasn't that a movie is that we're talking about no, it's the song. It's also said sure said trick right
[00:48:36] That's the real entertainer. I would love to get a pod with said going
[00:48:40] I'd love to get any of the Kings besides steel hukly in the mix
[00:48:44] You're out on the end really Bernie's out to this dead
[00:48:49] So I guess it's just Steve Harvey or Cedric
[00:48:54] Did Steve Harvey must have fucked Cedric fuck more than Steve Harvey, right?
[00:48:59] Steve Harvey had a lot of divorces. Oh, you think he was a serial monogamist. I don't know
[00:49:04] I mean, maybe he's getting side pussy with his wig on
[00:49:07] That's on Italian guy on the train today. Mm-hmm real beefy, but like only chest and buys
[00:49:12] No, one of those guys and he had clearly had like nipple bars
[00:49:18] Like tight white shirt and like, you know, just the freshest haircut and then a sleeve of Frank Sinatra and his mom
[00:49:29] It's like a poorly real black and white picture. Yeah
[00:49:34] photo like a photo realistic portrait of
[00:49:37] Frank Sinatra and his bicep then it looped around with flowers and shit to his mom
[00:49:41] And I only knew guys mama Frank Sinatra's mom his own mom
[00:49:44] Oh, cuz some woman was like it was a very nice tattoo and someone was like is that your mom?
[00:49:48] He's like, yes. Yes. Yes. It is. Yes. It is. Yeah, that's like where'd you get that?
[00:49:52] He's like I got in Queens my cousin. He's he's an artist. That's so good
[00:49:56] But I can't imagine a more Italian tattoo that exists was gonna say it's like that guy is an alien his mom poses an Italian
[00:50:04] We must get some hot train like 47. Yep
[00:50:07] During the in-between phase of his career. That's just a beefy guy little ass legs
[00:50:15] The nipple rings to kind of throw me off. Yeah, that's the one thing that they were why I saw the shows the lecture
[00:50:21] Now trying to figure out who the woman was because I saw that Frank Sinatra. That's a buy on its own
[00:50:25] I was like I gotta find out more about this guy. Yeah, sir. Do you have a moment? Yeah
[00:50:30] And then you know, but yeah, he's wearing a tight white t-shirt and you clearly sees his nipple piercings through the shirt
[00:50:39] What the fuck is that? Yeah, you know, just yeah, he's he's probably not gay. I guess
[00:50:46] Is he was Italian Italian. Yes true suspect him. Yeah, that's halfway to be gay. Mm-hmm. No, I mean like that
[00:50:55] There's no gay Italians. Oh, that's so true. I forgot about that. Yeah
[00:51:01] There has never been one unless they're not pure bread. Mm-hmm. That's the only way
[00:51:06] If they're if they're if their blood isn't 100%
[00:51:11] I know how many steps are you doing today?
[00:51:13] 10 G's. Yeah, at least try and go over that. I seem to be doing that like
[00:51:21] On a day where you're yeah, traveling a bunch sure but there's days where you're just like writing at home or whatever
[00:51:26] You just got to get out. Oh, yeah, I guess I only did 3,000 on Thursday. Yeah, see but yeah
[00:51:31] It's it's like 12 12,000 13,000. I mean when you go into the city you take the train you'll end up getting some nice steps in
[00:51:38] But I walked over to the I like to walk over the bridge sometimes like after a lot of times after the fucking show
[00:51:44] I'll go I'll walk into the city from here
[00:51:46] Take the fucking Williamsburg bridge. Yeah, it's nice dude. Get a stroll on. Yeah, I'll just got like fucking 35,000 steps in the other day
[00:51:55] Yeah, but he is he's still fat. Oh, he's looking good. Oh good
[00:51:59] He's been he's lost a ton of weight actually no really
[00:52:03] Yeah, he's lost like probably 30 pounds at this point for he's like yeah looking and he's so tall that it's like
[00:52:10] Just falls right off. I'm jealous dude. Yeah, I wish you could melt fat like I
[00:52:15] Just stand near heater. I don't have trouble losing weight at all really. Yeah as long as I like dial in my diet
[00:52:21] I don't even really have to I mean I go with weights, but like as long as the diets on point
[00:52:25] I don't really have to yeah, yeah, no your boys got that fucking thick Eastern European woman's
[00:52:34] Metabolism I'm a stocky little but you count calories I was for a while
[00:52:39] Yeah, and that would consistently and like you're actually paying attention that shit
[00:52:44] I would like because there was a lot of fat people that are like I tried it
[00:52:48] I tried everything and the doctors don't know why and it's like okay, so like how many calories are you like?
[00:52:52] I don't know I have no idea. I did it for three days, and then I stopped yeah
[00:52:55] Yeah, I've all in things right if you get a food scale where you're shit out like I've know exactly what you're fucking eating
[00:53:01] Like maybe after that then you can talk like an endocernologist or whatever and see if something else is fucked up
[00:53:07] But yeah, well they said I'm big-boned yeah the doctor. Yeah, the doctor said my bones are too big
[00:53:14] Mm-hmm just on the bottom half the top half I
[00:53:17] Got my bones are normal sized mm-hmm. So that's part of the problem is that I'm too stocky
[00:53:25] Yeah, is that I'm too naturally powerful. Yeah, and so the my weight is actually more
[00:53:32] Yeah, and this doctor you saw was it a doctor or just a man who works at Jersey Mike's it was yeah
[00:53:38] It was the guy trying to talk me into a monthly subscription Jersey Mike
[00:53:42] He told me he was a gold membership. Yeah, you wanted me to get a recurring. He was like no bro
[00:53:50] Mm-hmm you need this mm-hmm, and so I signed up with their meal plan. I've been doing meal prep through the Jersey Mike's you know they give you
[00:53:59] Pre-arranged meals. I've never had a sub there. Are they good? Okay? I've only had it once when I was on my
[00:54:05] Yeah, I've gone there a couple of times and it's it's one of those places where you're like oh, I could have just made this at home
[00:54:09] Yeah, it's like curly fries you could literally buy from the grocery store. It's a step above
[00:54:16] Totsam was in one in Los Angeles one time and I overheard one of the employees like talking to some other guy either
[00:54:22] So there's either somebody like a customer, but he's overheard it and he's like yeah
[00:54:26] Yeah, actually it's pretty cool because we actually got to go to New Jersey
[00:54:35] Something like that, but it was just they do a retreat in that's all because it's like there's nothing new Jersey about these sandwiches
[00:54:43] These are just the most carry out fucking baloney saying it's like a fucking cheesesteak
[00:54:48] Which is a Philly if it's anywhere. It's a Philly sandwich, but it's also right next to Jersey. Mm-hmm. Yeah
[00:54:54] Yeah, what part of Philly do they get to go to mm-hmm? Where's Jersey Mike from?
[00:54:58] Patterson Long Island Long Island New Jersey
[00:55:05] On the fucking island. Yeah, you know me growing up listening to nothing but fucking
[00:55:19] Bon Jovi the misfits the remones the feelies
[00:55:24] What are the feelies there's some like the copper feeling deep in from the 80s. Wow, that's fucking why do you know that dude?
[00:55:32] I used to be indie dude. You know that's being indie guy. Yeah, you were punk. I was in I was never punk
[00:55:38] I was never punk you claimed I was rockabilly. I was never rockabilly. I was a classic rock bro
[00:55:44] Did just throw on some get the lead out dude? Mm-hmm throw on Led Zeppelin fucking two
[00:55:50] Mm-hmm throw on Led Zeppelin for I was a zap boy myself because I was also like a into fantasy
[00:55:58] Yeah, dude. They have about Lord of the Rings. Yeah, it's tight because it's like about orcs
[00:56:05] Dorks dorks. I love dorks dorks called arcs, but they're all from Oakland
[00:56:14] Being works got them fucking to you. You know what we got them orks scored scored. We're gonna ring sucks so much
[00:56:21] Yeah, that's shit is garbage. I'm not I didn't even finish the series, but you said you're really in the fantasy
[00:56:32] But I wasn't yeah, I read the hobbit said you loved fantasy and now you're saying Lord of the Rings sucks
[00:56:37] Yeah, when I was like I like cuz you said this is like Lord of the Rings
[00:56:41] Yeah, when I was eight I thought it was cool, but I was also not smart enough to read like a fucking four book
[00:56:47] You know series three book series. Oh, that was like what like 2,000 pages long. I liked Star Wars
[00:56:53] That was my fantasy shit. That's kind of fantasy. I wanted to be Luke Skywalker
[00:56:57] It's a borderline between side by our wars and then the Jedi use soft a and the dark side
[00:57:06] The Jedi are all like fucking master Yoda feels better
[00:57:10] But look you can't say hard hours can you?
[00:57:19] That's all and then they got James Earl Jones to play Darth Vader cuz he's loud Luke. I am
[00:57:30] So with the Jedi all be like, you know Michael Rapa port
[00:57:42] Michael Rapa because that's a kind of dumb shit they were doing what oh yeah in the prequels
[00:57:48] Awards as a kid so now I want to be in the movie. Yeah, you know
[00:57:52] Let's see get barber Streisand as a Jedi that happened. Oh, yeah, I remember that yeah everyone remembers that
[00:57:59] It was it was a it was a mix. It was like a tie-in yeah
[00:58:02] Shilah buff got to play Han Solo. Oh for a second for a frame for a they would play Han Solo was a different actor every time
[00:58:11] I never noticed that I thought was the same guy. Mm-hmm. No, you know
[00:58:14] I wanted to play Lando's co-pilot because I was a big fan. I was a celebrity to you back
[00:58:19] Yeah, not only am I celebrity now, but you were at the time at the time. I was also a celebrity
[00:58:26] They grew up watching Star Wars in the 70s around 2000 and around 2001 Adam. Yeah
[00:58:31] Well, yeah, that is the episode one. It's the first one episode
[00:58:42] What hands up don't shoot you know I'm talking
[00:58:46] That is true. Mm-hmm. The public is a good point. That is a good thing to bring up hands
[00:58:56] You got one chance before we unfurl those weird cone
[00:58:59] Light sabers that everyone had and put it in your ass which cone ones. Oh the toy like yeah
[00:59:06] Feels like they should have had a better way those ships used to break. I know you go way too hard on day one
[00:59:12] And then your parents to take them away
[00:59:13] My friends used to sword fight with those and I would get welts all over my body because we would just go nuts
[00:59:18] It's way just fucking beat the fuck out of kids swords to hit each other with
[00:59:26] Zul yeah, that's the fancy one. That's what rich kids head when I got to play with one of those I was fucking
[00:59:32] That's when you're at the rich kids house good shit, dude
[00:59:34] They're probably $25 the shitty ones were $7. Yeah, definitely
[00:59:39] Some still lit up though. They probably still make those now
[00:59:42] I'm getting nostalgic and I want to go beat the shit out of some kids
[00:59:45] I got nostalgic I got nostalgic the other day for that well, dude
[00:59:48] We could just paint it like a broomstick red or something. Yeah, you can do that too
[00:59:52] We would play we would play with broomsticks and we would fucking man. I miss being like
[00:59:57] 10 having an imagination can't really get hurt
[01:00:01] Yeah, we'd have to take broomsticks and we would ride our bikes at each other and then try to
[01:00:08] Lock the bike up and you fucking fall off the front of the bike. That's fucking that was like my favorite game
[01:00:14] I love playing that shit. They wouldn't get wildly fucked up. I got fucked up. Yeah, I would go over my handlebars all the time
[01:00:25] I was riding like my friend's bike and I tried to surf the bike
[01:00:30] You know and I got up on the seat and then my front foot was on the front and then my front foot slipped
[01:00:37] Behind the the handlebars and then got stuck in the wheel flipped the bike and I like went forward on my face
[01:00:42] And some lady was like are you okay? And I was like shut up shut up. Shut up. Yeah, fuck you
[01:00:48] Yeah, no, that's right. I use the F word. Yeah, it was tight. Yeah, you could just fuck yourself up and just get up kids are fearless
[01:00:59] You know we need that good baby shit. Yeah back to childhood. Yeah, I've been eating my own come to that's basically stem cells
[01:01:05] Mm-hmm if you're if a girl has a period in your mouth and you eat your own come mix that up
[01:01:10] Yeah, baby girl will never have her period in my mouth or anywhere near me as
[01:01:15] Second a girl starts starting with that period shit. She's kicked to the curb
[01:01:19] She has to be in a little house now. She's dumped welcome to dump city. Oh, you dump every girl that gets her period
[01:01:28] Gonna come you're gonna try have a period with me bitch. You're getting pregnant and then an abortion
[01:01:38] What about birth control never no not not no, I don't like the way it fucks with the bitches juices
[01:01:49] I know dude, I can't stand with the consistency of their pussy juices different bitch
[01:01:54] I don't like the way the juices feel when you're on that mess. You gotta get the marinade, right?
[01:02:04] I agree with you man. Yeah me too. Don't Jews make a women sit in a different little house
[01:02:09] Yeah, no, they have to go that to go into a bath like a ritual bath called a mikvah
[01:02:15] Every month I think right after their pussies or stop bleeding. They have to like wash their pussies out in some like jacuzzi
[01:02:23] And then you go and then you fuck your husband through a sheet. Oh nice and that's how they got a special pussy jacuzzi
[01:02:30] That's how babies are made. Yeah, it's called a mikvah
[01:02:41] Robert Da Nuri's like you're gonna fuck me through a sheet Greg
[01:02:52] No, I'm just yeah, so you're a Jew boyfriend he bring his fucking sheet the fuck me through I
[01:02:56] Have an asshole Greg. She's like me through I didn't tell you this prior to this
[01:03:03] But my dad was actually in the SS and he escaped
[01:03:07] And it's a comedy where it Ben Stiller is a Jewish man meeting as who's having his period?
[01:03:12] I guess yeah, no, he's just that's just all this anti-Semitic shit
[01:03:15] Okay, Robert De Niro because once again in my honest opinion. I find anti-Semitism to be a boring disgusting. Yeah
[01:03:22] You're outlining a ridiculous. I think it is ridiculous. You would hate to see I would hate to see something
[01:03:31] It would be funny to see how I would try and make that a feel good story. Yeah
[01:03:39] Criminal just meeting his daughters like boyfriend. Oh, the thing you should know about my dad is in real quick
[01:03:45] His name is an Anthony Tolino. It's it's actually Klaus von Stern and he was yeah, he was he's from Auschwitz
[01:03:59] He volunteered his hometown actually yeah, he kind of took the initiative and built a camp
[01:04:04] It was kind of a field of dream situation where it's like you build it. They will come
[01:04:10] He's the architect trains just showed up
[01:04:12] Mm-hmm trainful if you build it they will come what is that a breast-milking device Greg?
[01:04:18] I got another device downstairs in my basement. Maybe I can show it to you. It's for my days in the server
[01:04:24] I tried to drill a hole in my skull and poor boiling water
[01:04:34] Do you have a twin Greg yeah, you have a twin brother Greg
[01:04:52] Yeah, that sounds funny. That's pretty fun. Yeah
[01:04:56] What are some other things they do interesting enough that character's name was soccer
[01:05:03] What an awesome joke was a funny joke the reveal was it his name was gay fucker
[01:05:13] It is it's awesome. Yeah, that's what the whole movie built up to you
[01:05:16] You see Seth Rogen apologizing for a joke and like pineapple express where he says like you know how I know you're gay or something
[01:05:23] Oh, that was that was an improv scene. No, that was a
[01:05:27] 40-year-old version. I think it's first that was his whole big shit. Yeah
[01:05:30] Did he apologize he's apologizing for for him and and Paul Rudd, right? Yeah, I'm so sorry that comedy used to be funny
[01:05:40] That I did I wasn't susceptible to this. I'm sorry that I was making a comedy about how society
[01:05:46] Literally was at the time. Yeah, that it was of the time and whatever. I mean people still say that I know we still say it
[01:05:54] And I will continue to that's why we're the only subversive art. That's left. That's true. Come down. We're basically like
[01:06:03] The fucking velvet underground. Yeah, it's true. I'm Nico the sexy bitch
[01:06:15] The velvet underground Ganondorf Nico and who did you say Adam John Kale? Who's that?
[01:06:25] This is the basis. I only know Nico and the main guy. I don't read from Super Smash Brothers
[01:06:34] Why yeah, I mean I don't I didn't play Zelda he was apparently like a big-ass pig monster
[01:06:39] Which is cool, and then they made him his regular form
[01:06:42] Super Smash, which I think sucks. I want big fat pigs to get
[01:06:48] Wait, no, I did I did play what was the one on Wii
[01:06:51] Princess I never played that one. Yeah, that was fun. I never really got into the Wii the one on
[01:06:57] The new one switch I played for rocks. It's sick. Yeah, the new Zelda. Yeah, fuck. Maybe I'll go rest of the one
[01:07:04] You can ride horses sort of like red dead. It is a little it is pretty open world country
[01:07:09] So yeah, Twilight Princess was like that. Yeah, Zelda does fucking rock. I just wish it was a little more
[01:07:15] Like Grand Theft Auto. Well, I would just wish you could fuck Zelda. I wish you get some pussy from Zelda
[01:07:20] What does elf pubes look like I would love to get the piece of pussy from the bitch
[01:07:26] Excuse me. I mustn't attend this game from GameStop. I was I only play emerated games because maybe you get
[01:07:32] I'm so ready to eat games of a faggot babies a baby is anyone who's gay
[01:07:41] Did you know that when the baby is born his gay because you cannot get a piece of pussy in those no
[01:07:50] But when you become puberty when you heard fifth first grade and you get pubes
[01:07:56] Because your final height will be five one
[01:07:58] When you get kindergarten then you get pubes at seven
[01:08:05] And you are taller than everybody else, but that's what stopped it was it literally happened to me
[01:08:10] Yeah, well, you're a pea like anybody from another country where the life expectancy is like 35
[01:08:18] second grader from fucking you know like
[01:08:23] Is at that point he should have had a wife in a house. Yeah, you know wife and kids
[01:08:28] By the time you're hitting nine 10 years old and fucking you know, that's middle
[01:08:32] It's a eager hour or whatever. Yep. You're already in prison. You've been working at the asbestos factory
[01:08:37] You've been in prison for political thoughts
[01:08:45] Oh, dude. If they got rage against the machine and fucking lithuania
[01:08:48] Mm-hmm. We're getting that would liberate all of these oppressed peoples. Mm-hmm. Just let them listen to rage
[01:09:00] What about do we do we get enough miles out of zaldus pussy? Do you think well? I always thought that
[01:09:09] In all those Mario games even as a boy. I'd be like as just trying to save this woman
[01:09:13] Who ostensibly just keeps getting took in but isn't it
[01:09:19] That's bow just fault though. You could stay it stands to reason. I feel like she gave Mario pussy
[01:09:24] I feel like Mario's going through this plumber is going through, you know, the you don't think Mario ever got pussy
[01:09:29] He definitely I feel like it's just there's the the promise of pussy
[01:09:33] But I always assumed Mario wasn't actually I think he's getting head off screen. I don't think they're gonna show you
[01:09:38] Well, I want to see it. I want to see it in it
[01:09:41] I want to force the princesses sucking his dick. I want to see it read between the lines
[01:09:47] He's a pole nuance in art. Adam. He's gonna fucking hand everything. Do you feel like a plumber wouldn't fuck a princess?
[01:09:54] Normally, I feel like she would view him as a laborer
[01:09:57] That's part of the whole thing it's like in no country at the end when he checks his boots
[01:10:01] And that's how you know he raped and murdered lu Ellen's wife. Mm-hmm because it's checking his boots for blood and calm
[01:10:07] I didn't know that it was rape that is true. Yeah, I think that that's what the implication is is that Anton Shigur
[01:10:13] Had a six or seven hour long rape session and I was just thought he killed her
[01:10:22] So he checked the boots and yeah, then there was a probably
[01:10:26] I didn't know that spent a long time tied up wearing different outfits and role-playing he was wearing outfits
[01:10:32] Kind of like his fuck police officer outfit whips and chains that he got from the gay section of target
[01:10:38] Yeah, he was having gay sex in the house
[01:10:41] I watched it killed it for catching him having gay sex. I watched this uh comedy from the 80s the other day called poor bottom eating
[01:10:55] I don't know how to pick if you don't tell me what I'm top or bottom
[01:11:00] I'm just saying for everything you've been topping your entire life
[01:11:14] Well done lucky keep that don't put it in your ass
[01:11:22] Lucky but blood don't put that in your ass
[01:11:25] It will become just another blood which it is
[01:11:33] Damn dude, how can I help you homo some calm people friend though
[01:11:42] Oh, yeah, I watched this movie the other day, which was like a comedy from the 80s this woman
[01:11:47] This woman got raped like he had a common she got raped like six times
[01:11:52] Like for comedic effect. I know they really were raping a lot, but then but honestly Adam saying no stop it with the
[01:12:00] It's so fun to do it's fun. Okay. Have your fun. Have your fun. I just like to see you guys having fun. Okay. Okay
[01:12:14] Sorry, I was saying I saw this on the clock already telling the punch out. It seems like you guys fell asleep
[01:12:19] So I might want to say it again. Okay. No, you're back to sleep. Oh, oh, yeah. No. Well now that you're
[01:12:25] I saw this giant bubble popped out of my mouth. Yeah
[01:12:30] Yeah, there was like there was just rape for comedy in movies what movie this movie called eating Raoul
[01:12:37] Damn, but uh pussy. What does Raoul would girl with a bro?
[01:12:42] Raoul is like this Mexican guy who attempts rape at the end of the movie and then they kill him
[01:12:46] And then they eat him at the end of the movie spoiler alert. Sorry. Wow. Yeah, wait. It's a comedy
[01:12:52] It's a comedy about this couple. You're like sure you're watching it
[01:12:55] No, no, yeah, they're like uptight this uptight couple and then they like live down the hall from these swingers
[01:13:02] And one of the swingers like is drunk at the party and busts into their house and then tries to rape his wife
[01:13:07] Oh, he busts inside the bus. Yeah. Yeah, he busts in and then they the husband doesn't sound likely
[01:13:12] Uh next the husband kills him and then they find out that there's uh next there's this dog food company
[01:13:19] Yeah, could you not i'm pretty sure it's a comedy. How about no
[01:13:24] No, they keep selling corpses to a dog food company. That's like making it into dog food
[01:13:29] Oh like in uh wallace and grommet. So then she like puts out a new ad company in the movie wallace and grommet
[01:13:35] Maybe remember that the dog turns out to be a robot. I don't you know
[01:13:42] Shave too close never saw it. You never saw wallace and grommet. I saw like part of it on a plane
[01:13:49] That's great. Yeah, I told this story already about that bitch. So look like wallace and grommet
[01:13:55] Yeah, that you fucked. Well, I was kind of sexualist usually in love with her. I was not wearing. Yeah
[01:14:01] You were pretty married. She gave me a butt job. Adam was in love with uh a two
[01:14:09] Oh, that's a tough conversion in israel 2
[01:14:14] Oh, they got hot girls there. I guess that's the age of opposing soldier
[01:14:19] That's the age will start killing an opposing soldier and that's they yeah, yeah, and it's an enemy combatant at two in the janeva
[01:14:27] Under the Tel Aviv convention. There's nothing against the law about killing a two-year-old. I always thought it was weird
[01:14:32] That it was called the janeva convention. Why because it took place in janeva. No, because you know lady named like lady get dive
[01:14:40] Being like y'all can't use exploding. Nah, this fucked up y'all y'all ain't y'all got me fucked up y'all be torturing each other as shit
[01:14:47] Y'all can't be putting poison on the sword
[01:14:53] I'm sorry to shoot enemy combatants wearing uniforms. Yeah, you'll take the pussy of y'all enemies. Yeah, miles
[01:15:00] Taking no pussy miles disarm that two-stage thermonuclear device
[01:15:11] But mr. Neeva le oceans ain't people good call Adam asking if if uh, just letting us know that you know it was signed in janeva
[01:15:20] Oh, no, I just want to get that out there. So I knew so people knew that I was smart about uh
[01:15:25] War war crimes what about the gudiva convention? It's chocolate
[01:15:29] Well, it's a bitch with a little on a naked on a horse damn. I would love to eat some chocolate and you fuck her and then she gives you chocolate
[01:15:39] It's named after it was in their bitch that wrote a horse naked. Yeah lady could dive. Mm-hmm. Yeah
[01:15:49] Good China lady. Good. Jana. Yeah, she rides around. She's got the best pussy in town. Oh, yeah
[01:15:57] That's how they know a guy. She can see it and it looks awesome. Yeah, they can all see it in a sloppy
[01:16:03] Just wait. I would think that a guy jina was like a trans versus ass. Mm-hmm. Good jina. Yeah, dude
[01:16:18] Or just I guess a guy's ass. Yeah trans why would it be a trans woman? That's a girl jina
[01:16:23] Well, it's my my girl. Yeah trans women have real vaginas dude. There's no difference between the two a guy jina is what you have
[01:16:29] Well a trans woman a trans woman wouldn't have a guy jina. No it becomes her her clip
[01:16:35] More dick depending girl comes her clip. Yeah, she refers to it as a girl clip. What do you mean she refers to it?
[01:16:46] Which are in place making something up?
[01:16:48] I'm not saying that you're saying they're implying something. I never said any of that
[01:16:52] You did. I'm sorry. Did you just say that trans people are implying that they're faking it?
[01:16:57] They're not implying anything. God. They why would a woman have a guy jina, dude
[01:17:03] Well, if they're pre-oper post-op, that's not what a woman has. I would love to just force people into confessions all day long
[01:17:11] Like a priest? No, like a shitty cop. Yeah
[01:17:16] Like a cop trying to wrap up an investigation. Look just say
[01:17:19] You murdered her and we'll drop all the child
[01:17:26] Sign this confession and you'll go home and I'll give you a hundred dollars
[01:17:29] We're gonna take you to McDonald's and you can meet
[01:17:38] That's how he's always crying. He's goes to a special ed school. Yeah, he's like, all right
[01:17:43] Let me get best cop on the force. It's got a hundred percent clearance rate
[01:17:51] Just testifying in court is at this point that the defendant scooter who I've identified earlier
[01:17:59] confided in me that he committed all 37 of the murders
[01:18:08] Those are the defense attorneys like so you didn't mean to tell me that he confidently assured you that these were not only separate murders that happened
[01:18:15] All across the country by different motives one of them was just a woman that drowned in turkey on vacation
[01:18:22] And they were committed by him as serial acts over the last 35 years
[01:18:26] Uh, yes, I would like to say that is correct scooter
[01:18:30] Uh, would you like to affirm that and keep in mind meeting ronald depends on your answer
[01:18:35] Hey ronald that's a test and the prosecutor is like he's being judged by a jury of his peers and it's also other retarded
[01:18:41] And then I'm looking at them. I'm like mcdonald
[01:18:48] Like we find the defendant mcdonald's like no it's guilty or not guilty
[01:19:04] And then the the kicker you never bring them the mcdonald's
[01:19:08] Wow, I'll never get the just lie to them
[01:19:13] That's good police though. That is good
[01:19:19] The way they just the fucking basics, baby
[01:19:26] Pissing to my ass. Why don't you piss into his ass? No, ain't you for that one though?
[01:19:32] Got him. He's just difficult. You hard to piss at the side of an asshole. I can't go
[01:19:40] I'm just too hard. Come on. Hurry up. Dude. I'm tired of holding my ass open
[01:19:44] You could piss in it as a favor to you as a friend
[01:19:51] But you keep getting turned on getting turned by my hairy man's ass
[01:20:07] I'm surprised people. It's got to end soon. What people listening to this. Oh, yeah
[01:20:13] Yeah, you'd think so. No, but that's what I thought the second we started the show
[01:20:21] We keep I mean we'll probably say atoms to get a piss in my ass in in like three weeks or so
[01:20:26] Mm-hmm. What are you saying? Nothing. We decided to end the show forever while you're in the bathroom. Oh, okay
[01:20:33] Damn, no before Canada or after I guess we do just right now. We have to go to this affair. Well tour
[01:20:40] That would be funny. We don't show anyone dress up like the Eagles. Oh, that's yeah. Try to play their music
[01:20:48] Instead of doing the stand-up show in the live podcast
[01:20:51] Without any practice. We try to play the Eagles songs
[01:21:00] Don't hardly drums drums and folks. Oh, he what he doubles up, baby. Really? Yeah, he drummed and vocal. Yeah
[01:21:07] Yeah, that's that's always very cool. That's awesome when people do the guy from the band that did that
[01:21:13] Yeah, other people who fill uh fill Collins. That's cool. Phil Collins was the drummer in Genesis
[01:21:19] Last rhythm you can't do that Nick. I'm the only one with a kind of rhythm for that. I already decided
[01:21:24] I'm don't want to be in the Eagles anymore. Who's the coolest guy other than Don Henley Glenn Fry?
[01:21:30] He's dead. He also made the heat is on from the Beverly Hills cops out there on him
[01:21:35] Another Don Simpson classic by the way, that is good stuff. You know they were up in the Hollywood Hills
[01:21:41] We're in all white doing cocaine in the middle of the day
[01:21:50] Maybe we can just start a production. Let me just start become movie producers. Yeah
[01:21:55] What do you need to be a movie producer? I don't know but I need to uh
[01:21:58] Get the day going here. All right. Nice. Bye guys. We're in Canada. Yeah, come see us in Canada. Come see us in Canada. Come down dot events