[00:00:00] and

[00:00:07] espresso pods

[00:00:09] pizza pods official

[00:00:11] come to you know this is a premium episode premium so yes

[00:00:15] okay well then

[00:00:17] fuck

[00:00:18] pizza

[00:00:22] yet for them actually

[00:00:24] is what i think

[00:00:25] psych the coffees very good

[00:00:27] i got the other cheap i got the biggest cheapest ones you get

[00:00:31] off amazon

[00:00:32] and she's working

[00:00:33] does amazon make their own

[00:00:37] no i don't think so but soon

[00:00:39] if you see those like

[00:00:41] amazon twitters

[00:00:43] they're like they actually we can't this as much as we want here

[00:00:48] when someone tweets about amazon being bad

[00:00:50] uh... is on tired like

[00:00:52] random motherfuckers who work like they pay them actually like or it's

[00:00:55] bots i don't know and they're like actually amazon's really a cool place to

[00:01:00] work

[00:01:01] it's fucking crazy with the said that they're there are a pair to wherever they

[00:01:04] want well when people are like amazon they will let you take a piece of like

[00:01:08] well that's crazy that happened at that one place

[00:01:11] where i work we get the shit are shit all day like poses like fake employees

[00:01:15] yeah or they are whatever the real ones that they pay who cares but uh...

[00:01:19] it's fucking weird dude

[00:01:23] i would like to have those twitter accounts for

[00:01:26] women that i fucked

[00:01:27] actually sorrows six-speed good

[00:01:31] and he is

[00:01:32] his hamstrings didn't cramp up while he was on top

[00:01:35] yeah that happens you hamstrings

[00:01:38] really your body sucks you pull hamstrings

[00:01:41] i have in the past

[00:01:43] i one time i i was at my absolute fattest i blew my own back out

[00:01:48] where

[00:01:50] when you have that

[00:01:52] you just blow your own back out fucking

[00:01:55] that's right you don't need these women you can put below my own back out

[00:01:58] well you're on damn back out

[00:02:01] you don't need to let these demons tell you what

[00:02:04] well the thing you guys are thinking about is that i also have to be cognizant

[00:02:08] of the weight distribution

[00:02:09] so i can't really just

[00:02:11] so if you go in full inertia full mass the girl could chills

[00:02:15] like blood through the wall missed

[00:02:17] you have to consider

[00:02:18] is that i'm really bad at fucking in many different

[00:02:22] i thought i'm not only my two fat

[00:02:25] just in terms of my my flexibility only way but i'm also to i crush people

[00:02:31] because that's that's that is

[00:02:34] uh... to be expected when you're too fat flexibly

[00:02:37] so that's not really a separate

[00:02:39] category that's all under the umbrella of two fat

[00:02:42] thank you very much

[00:02:44] but you have to slow your momentum at a particular time so so as to when you're

[00:02:48] like a full dick yes that's when the hamstrings are the kind of like a shock

[00:02:52] absorber

[00:02:53] they put it at a certain point it's like a muscle muscle memory kind of thing

[00:02:57] yes sure this isn't it doesn't typically happen to me

[00:03:00] when i'm extra fat and extra don't have sex

[00:03:04] which i'm not either of those anymore thank you very much

[00:03:08] he's both of them

[00:03:15] am i on half the way this kyle has been

[00:03:18] sites

[00:03:20] actually it's you

[00:03:22] actually that is

[00:03:26] uh... fuck

[00:03:28] damn i'm fucking tired

[00:03:29] you've been in the fuck you've been fucking processing orders dude

[00:03:33] something like twelve hundred t-shirts

[00:03:36] well in five days

[00:03:38] damn and you don't know

[00:03:40] you can't tell if the orders are fucked up until you get to the end

[00:03:44] they sold out everything so you're not aware of like when things get fucked up

[00:03:47] oh right the last like seven orders and then somebody needs

[00:03:51] this size and it's gone

[00:03:53] and you're like i said it's someone else yeah you're supposed to be sold out of

[00:03:56] something there's still like two of them sitting there

[00:03:59] uh...

[00:03:59] so there's like

[00:04:02] there's like six shirts left that i shouldn't have which means it probably

[00:04:05] somewhere around eight orders got fucked up

[00:04:07] but out of a thousand that's not like bad

[00:04:10] that's less than one percent failure rate

[00:04:13] you wait less

[00:04:14] you know not

[00:04:16] was a thousand

[00:04:17] thousand ten ten ten would be one percent so so it's not way less

[00:04:21] it's slightly less than a one percent failure in bitch

[00:04:26] is there one time we talked about some math thing

[00:04:29] it's happened a couple times

[00:04:31] and i don't remember what it is but i've been the only one that's right

[00:04:34] oh when we did mean no and i know that again

[00:04:37] in a different time

[00:04:41] yeah well were you good at numbers because menus have numbers on

[00:04:45] it's not all of them that's why no

[00:04:48] if anything they have a much more minds than i was thinking in terms of

[00:04:51] like let me get number six that's a fast with exercise

[00:04:55] extra soon to get a super size number six you think it's your super size anymore

[00:05:00] this is what i mean

[00:05:01] they don't do super size anymore

[00:05:03] you know exponents you know exponents

[00:05:06] the exponents on the

[00:05:08] supersizing would be an exponent

[00:05:11] oh i guess that's super six super size is actually an eight and eight point seven

[00:05:15] that's not what an exponent is you see all you just see numbers and exponents

[00:05:19] like

[00:05:19] something squared they're like neo and set it you just see like all the different

[00:05:24] calories and stuff when you look around like if you're like if i ate that blonde

[00:05:27] woman i'd gain

[00:05:29] four hundred and eighty three pounds

[00:05:32] no i don't know any of that i'm more i just go by feel

[00:05:35] yeah yeah i'm like uh... i'm like uh... morpheus

[00:05:39] also you you feel i think i don't remember the matrix

[00:05:44] but neo knows more than

[00:05:46] morpheus

[00:05:47] doesn't morpheus teach him how to

[00:05:49] yet but then he surpasses him quickly

[00:05:53] i think the student becomes a master

[00:05:55] he comes to master

[00:05:58] that's awesome i love when that happens in

[00:06:01] literature and

[00:06:03] film

[00:06:05] uh...

[00:06:06] yeah in life in general what have you been up to at him

[00:06:09] uh...

[00:06:10] nothing much you know just live in the fucking dream baby

[00:06:15] nahm and

[00:06:17] do you have a man cave now uh... oh yeah i got a man cave inside of a man cave

[00:06:23] uh... various compartments within my man could be awesome he went to your house

[00:06:26] and it was just like

[00:06:28] a lazy to lazy boys next to each other

[00:06:31] actually just friend the friends yeah

[00:06:33] layout yeah just me and the dog in the lazy boy

[00:06:36] mhm watching baywatch

[00:06:39] yet you can just watch real porn

[00:06:41] now we talked about this before and probably

[00:06:46] just getting horny with your boy

[00:06:48] to love that to yasmine bleith was she on the edge must have been over there

[00:06:52] well there's no way that entire writing staff that show wasn't like

[00:06:56] ancient

[00:06:57] gay jewish yeah it's yeah i think that the creator was

[00:07:00] would be they hang out in the york together and they have a good time

[00:07:05] uh...

[00:07:06] or when chain ladies he's does sarcasm

[00:07:11] what are we doing for lunch

[00:07:13] is it come again

[00:07:16] can we have come

[00:07:18] uh... diane let let's we'll go around and do the orders for lunch i want to

[00:07:23] come salad

[00:07:25] can you visit do they have the soil lettuce

[00:07:29] and what the fake lettuce made out of pressed fermented soy with the cum

[00:07:33] dressing but like

[00:07:35] like i'm on the side

[00:07:37] on the side a little bit of what a downcom on the side

[00:07:41] from a fermented so it let us salad

[00:07:44] with aside berries and cum nuts

[00:07:48] that sounds good they'd bake the cum and it's a substitute nut made out of

[00:07:53] what a downcom

[00:07:55] also water that in dehydrated i've been doing a detox

[00:07:59] i only eat come

[00:08:01] and i feel

[00:08:02] a million years younger

[00:08:03] but this

[00:08:05] look at you can see all the veins in my ass

[00:08:08] that's how i know i'm in good shape what i've completely atrophied my ass

[00:08:12] must is the point you can see

[00:08:14] veins over bone

[00:08:16] and that means i mean all right so joey and chanel

[00:08:20] you know there are a couple of people are asking me you know how gay guy or

[00:08:24] straight guys are they hang out in a popman and watch baywatch

[00:08:28] together that's a regular straight guy kind of thing to do

[00:08:31] and honestly would be hilarious if they wrote that show now

[00:08:34] uh... and like they thought that straight guys sat around watching baywatch

[00:08:38] like

[00:08:39] the show for thirty years ago

[00:08:41] they're like wait i mean i can't wait to see girls in bikinis

[00:08:46] it's not even bikinis it's one piece it's one piece it's less sexual than latin

[00:08:50] american children's television

[00:08:58] man

[00:08:59] uh...

[00:08:59] saba do you gante

[00:09:01] yeah they got ladies big ass to the other side of the gante were the titties

[00:09:05] dude that's right

[00:09:07] that's not children's television but

[00:09:09] i would like to see a clown fuck a lady with big titties

[00:09:12] yeah i was wondering

[00:09:15] if the clowns trying to rape them the whole time yeah the clinton god is not

[00:09:19] you know it's a yeah

[00:09:22] the mu moon yet got the little

[00:09:25] the little fool you know it's a six-year-old fat man a moon yet

[00:09:29] i think a moon yet is uh... clown or a doll maybe

[00:09:34] moonie means pussy in greek

[00:09:36] what's the same language

[00:09:38] spanish in greek not very different

[00:09:41] both very passionate but very different

[00:09:46] uh...

[00:09:48] sorry about that adam accidentally admitted that he looked at child pornography

[00:09:53] well now you repeat what

[00:09:55] yet but i didn't say what kind will let's record

[00:09:58] uh... everyone knows

[00:10:00] everyone does you look at child pornography but what we're cutting out is

[00:10:04] the ebony

[00:10:05] the the

[00:10:06] it's perfectly

[00:10:10] dollars

[00:10:11] be

[00:10:16] it

[00:10:18] david talky 43 year old women

[00:10:21] the

[00:10:22] young boys with just

[00:10:24] nine-and-a-half

[00:10:27] half

[00:10:30] a

[00:10:33] Falls

[00:10:33] than pass apart when my everyone is looks at ped classmates

[00:10:37] Oh, you'll take any kid, but pedophiles have taste.

[00:10:40] They do have taste.

[00:10:41] Yeah, just like Jeffrey Epstein bent over the ball,

[00:10:44] gag in his mouth, and like, he's extremely rare toddlers.

[00:10:47] He has flown in from Africa, just fucking him in the ass.

[00:10:52] He's a wealthy man.

[00:10:53] Yeah, punish me.

[00:10:54] Those boys make a good living, dude.

[00:10:56] They're like, you got to go into niche.

[00:10:58] They're de-decent from where they're from.

[00:11:00] That's the way to make it in this industry these days,

[00:11:01] is you have to cater to a niche audience that will pay.

[00:11:04] That's my religion.

[00:11:06] That's what the temple's about.

[00:11:07] That's the big big toddlers.

[00:11:11] Yeah, one of my friends that I played football with,

[00:11:16] a black gentleman, said that when he was like nine,

[00:11:19] an old lady raped him, essentially.

[00:11:23] And I believe him.

[00:11:24] He was like, no, he wasn't like trying to brag.

[00:11:27] It was like, people were talking about how they fucked

[00:11:29] when they were like young as a joke.

[00:11:31] Like, yeah, I had sex when I was eight years,

[00:11:33] like just joking.

[00:11:34] And he was like, what about you?

[00:11:35] And he was like, nine.

[00:11:37] And he had like this, just like,

[00:11:39] he was like staring off into the distance.

[00:11:42] It wasn't bragging.

[00:11:43] He was not bragging.

[00:11:44] We were like, what?

[00:11:45] For real, he was like, yeah.

[00:11:47] And then he just like, solemnly told the story

[00:11:51] of like this old lady saying she needed help.

[00:11:54] Like, I don't know.

[00:11:56] Like with a chore or something.

[00:11:57] And her writing his little ass dick.

[00:12:00] His little boys dick.

[00:12:01] And everyone was like, it really, I got to say,

[00:12:04] killed the mood of football practice.

[00:12:06] Yeah, because we were all talking about fucking

[00:12:08] when we were 11 as a joke.

[00:12:10] It was a real towel snappy kind of conversation.

[00:12:12] It was a very towel snappy conversation.

[00:12:14] And he really had to bring it down with that rape.

[00:12:17] He told the very...

[00:12:20] He was really good at football too.

[00:12:22] I won't say his name.

[00:12:23] I don't want to dox him, but...

[00:12:24] He's been running from it ever since.

[00:12:25] He's been, yep.

[00:12:26] He was a defensive back.

[00:12:28] Vinny's getting too excited about his comptown appearance.

[00:12:31] Was that Vinny's getting too excited about his comptown?

[00:12:34] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:12:34] He takes me after he's set a funny moment.

[00:12:37] He's like, bro, my light, you changed my life.

[00:12:40] He takes me after he's set a funny moment

[00:12:42] and said, best day of my life.

[00:12:43] LAUGHTER

[00:12:47] Oh, Nick, you should've seen this.

[00:12:49] That's awesome.

[00:12:49] I just like to imagine him at Disney World

[00:12:51] and he's talking to Goofy.

[00:12:52] And he's like, bro, we can work together.

[00:12:54] Like, honestly meeting you,

[00:12:56] this is one of the greatest moments of my life.

[00:12:58] And we can work together.

[00:13:00] And we're gonna do a tour.

[00:13:02] LAUGHTER

[00:13:04] What is it?

[00:13:05] It's just some Hispanic guy.

[00:13:06] And he's like, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.

[00:13:08] LAUGHTER

[00:13:10] And nah, nah, nah.

[00:13:12] He's like, what the fuck?

[00:13:12] The guy shows up a little bit of our store.

[00:13:14] Yeah, right.

[00:13:15] What the fuck is this?

[00:13:17] Yeah, I know you guys thought you were gonna see Goofy,

[00:13:19] but we got Bam, Marjara instead.

[00:13:21] And he said, we're like, we're four-year-olds.

[00:13:23] And he's like, look, my dick looks like a unicorn.

[00:13:26] He's pulling his penis out and talking about the kids.

[00:13:29] And then the mother's like, well, I would

[00:13:30] expect this at the E. Gene Carroll show.

[00:13:35] Not the Goofy show.

[00:13:36] LAUGHTER

[00:13:39] Fuck.

[00:13:40] Oh, man.

[00:13:41] Salute to get a sexual fantasy.

[00:13:44] Salute to Big Vin, dude.

[00:13:46] Yeah.

[00:13:47] Because he's objectively a bad, morally bad person.

[00:13:50] Yeah, but it's refreshing that he's

[00:13:52] honest about how bad he is?

[00:13:54] What makes a character like that like, at least palatable?

[00:13:58] Charisma.

[00:13:59] Charisma?

[00:14:00] Does he have a weird charismatic?

[00:14:01] Yeah, but see, people don't understand what charisma is.

[00:14:04] They think there are people that are, like Donald Trump

[00:14:08] is extremely fucking charismatic.

[00:14:10] Yeah.

[00:14:10] And that's why he's president.

[00:14:11] People think charming is a bad person.

[00:14:13] They exactly.

[00:14:14] They think it's like, because Barack Obama is charismatic,

[00:14:17] but Donald Trump is similarly charismatic.

[00:14:20] Maybe more.

[00:14:21] Like Vin, he's not charming, but he is charismatic.

[00:14:24] But he's very charismatic.

[00:14:25] He's a good salesman.

[00:14:26] He does have a little glint in his eye.

[00:14:28] That's the kind of guy you, like, you know,

[00:14:30] he talks about selling used cars.

[00:14:31] It's like, you didn't sell those cars

[00:14:33] because he got one over on those people.

[00:14:35] It's because they felt bad for him

[00:14:36] because he's a pathetic guy.

[00:14:38] And they're like, all right, I'll buy this shitty car.

[00:14:40] I'll buy this shitty selling Girl Scout cookies

[00:14:43] in the form of like a fucking, you know.

[00:14:45] Actually, I like Girl Scout cookies.

[00:14:46] I love them.

[00:14:47] You know what he's selling?

[00:14:48] What is that?

[00:14:49] The gift wrap company?

[00:14:51] I never.

[00:14:52] They sell like, they make kids sell like gift wrap.

[00:14:54] Oh, that was never a thing.

[00:14:56] We always did chocolate bars.

[00:14:57] Or chocolate bars, or, you know, like, forks.

[00:15:00] Like, we talked about it.

[00:15:01] That's what Vinny's doing.

[00:15:02] But as an adult, he's like, yeah,

[00:15:03] I'm selling BAM Mars era for my school.

[00:15:05] And they're like, oh, this retarded school is selling tickets

[00:15:09] to a BAM Mars era redemption for.

[00:15:12] Yes, me and my husband, Larry, will spend $80 a piece.

[00:15:17] Or let me just get my checkbook for a piss hot tub, you say.

[00:15:21] And your name is, oh, Vinny.

[00:15:23] And you're 32 years old and a half.

[00:15:26] That's nice.

[00:15:28] That's very nice, Mr. Vinny.

[00:15:30] Go check.

[00:15:33] Oh, man.

[00:15:34] Yeah, he's charismatic in a way that, yeah.

[00:15:38] Yeah, because you think a salesman can alpha you.

[00:15:42] But he can also do the opposite.

[00:15:43] I guess the worst kind of person is someone that's a bad person.

[00:15:46] But once everyone to think they're a good person, right?

[00:15:50] Then everyone's like, there's something nice about a bad person.

[00:15:53] That is like, I'm a bad person.

[00:15:55] I will rip off your social security.

[00:15:58] You're like, damn, you just came out there and said it.

[00:16:00] There's some honesty there.

[00:16:02] Yeah.

[00:16:02] It's like people hate Tiger Woods,

[00:16:04] because everyone thought he was a good guy.

[00:16:07] Yeah.

[00:16:07] Not because he fucked a bunch of waitresses,

[00:16:09] but it's because they felt lied to.

[00:16:11] Right.

[00:16:11] You know, I don't hate him personally.

[00:16:14] I love him for that.

[00:16:15] I love him for that, too.

[00:16:16] Tiger Woods, forgetting Waffle House pussy on pills.

[00:16:21] Shouts out John Daly also.

[00:16:23] Another guy.

[00:16:24] Legend.

[00:16:25] Legend.

[00:16:25] Yeah.

[00:16:26] Marlboro Lights and fucking Diet Coke, dude, all day.

[00:16:29] I love diet soda now.

[00:16:31] Are you on the diet soda kick?

[00:16:32] You're on the ice cream.

[00:16:33] Yeah, I got to get some straws for home, too.

[00:16:34] I'm going to start drinking.

[00:16:36] I had a straw and a can of soda the other day, and it was like, wow, this is great.

[00:16:41] I know what you mean.

[00:16:42] I only do that when I get pizza because they give you the straw with the soda.

[00:16:46] Yeah.

[00:16:47] Well, I got this.

[00:16:47] I got a giant mustache now.

[00:16:49] So anything I drew.

[00:16:50] Yeah.

[00:16:50] I got like a sausage egg and cheese sandwich from the bodega in the morning.

[00:16:54] I look in the mirror afterwards and it's like, oh, god damn, you have an omelet on your

[00:16:58] mouth.

[00:16:58] I look like Garfield.

[00:16:59] This is my whole face is orange.

[00:17:02] Damn.

[00:17:03] Pussy eating whiskers.

[00:17:04] True pussy eating whiskers.

[00:17:06] Yeah.

[00:17:07] Pussy pussy pussy.

[00:17:09] Pussy.

[00:17:10] Pussy papa.

[00:17:11] Pee-pee-pee-poo-poo.

[00:17:12] Yeah.

[00:17:13] I actually I think that drinking through his straw is like way more pleasant experience

[00:17:17] than straight from a cup.

[00:17:19] I like the can.

[00:17:20] I like putting my dirty at my mouth on that dirty ass can, dude.

[00:17:24] It feels like I'm raw dogging.

[00:17:25] You guys are using condoms.

[00:17:28] Not me, dude.

[00:17:29] Mouth right to the hole.

[00:17:30] Yeah.

[00:17:31] Well, you don't have a mustache.

[00:17:32] I have a little bit of a mustache, but not something like this.

[00:17:36] Sure.

[00:17:37] This is a nice.

[00:17:38] Not something so unruly.

[00:17:39] Why don't you just show somebody a sandwich?

[00:17:41] Why don't you mind your own damage?

[00:17:43] All right.

[00:17:44] I'm sorry for asking.

[00:17:45] I'm sorry for asking.

[00:17:47] I'm clearly no beard.

[00:17:49] I'm never going to have a fucking thick ass beard.

[00:17:51] Are you smoking pipes back up?

[00:17:53] Yes, cheeks.

[00:17:54] No, that's from like two or three years ago.

[00:17:55] I'm cleaning out all my shit.

[00:17:57] That was the pipe I used for like a month.

[00:17:58] I remember in that windowless room handed to me.

[00:18:01] Let's see how I look with the beard and the pipe.

[00:18:02] Dude, you got to start smoking a pipe.

[00:18:04] This is what you got to start doing.

[00:18:06] Oh my god.

[00:18:08] You look like a sea captain.

[00:18:09] Oh, yeah.

[00:18:10] There you go.

[00:18:11] That's right.

[00:18:12] Yeah, your beard was patchier when you smoked that thing.

[00:18:14] Yeah.

[00:18:15] Now it's nice and full.

[00:18:16] That's a great look, dude.

[00:18:17] You look like a confederate general.

[00:18:18] I'm 30 now.

[00:18:19] That wasn't 24.

[00:18:20] 24.

[00:18:21] 25, yeah.

[00:18:22] Really?

[00:18:23] Yeah.

[00:18:24] Damn, dude.

[00:18:25] We're going.

[00:18:26] I guess we've been in New York for so long.

[00:18:27] It feels like I've lived in New York for two years.

[00:18:29] I know.

[00:18:30] We've been here for like five years.

[00:18:31] I don't know.

[00:18:32] I was driving to Chinatown yesterday and it like hit me how long I've been here.

[00:18:37] So long.

[00:18:38] Because that was a long time ago.

[00:18:39] I drove past that Whole Foods on Houston and I used to because I didn't have internet

[00:18:43] at my place.

[00:18:44] So I would write articles in the morning and walk either to Dunkin Donuts or sometimes

[00:18:48] the Whole Foods if I wanted like a more sprightly walk.

[00:18:51] I've seen some live-ass shit happen in that food court in that Whole Foods.

[00:18:54] Oh yeah, the food court was great.

[00:18:55] One time I was just trying to email stuff off and there was some guy with like a shitty

[00:18:58] mohawk who was like a Russian.

[00:19:01] It was Ukrainian.

[00:19:03] And he was with this old Russian guy that was just fucking checked out, you know, like

[00:19:07] no English.

[00:19:08] And then he's like, he's like, yeah, I'm looking for some cool stuff to do, you know.

[00:19:13] I go back Ukraine like two days.

[00:19:16] And so it's just some fucking Ukrainian moron.

[00:19:19] It's probably like 18.

[00:19:21] He's like, I'm going to go to New York and then he like hung out on the Whole Foods.

[00:19:25] Food court with his retarded Russian uncle.

[00:19:27] And I was like talking to him, I was like, oh cool man.

[00:19:30] Yeah, New York's great.

[00:19:32] It's so funny because Whole Foods is like, their aesthetic is like fancy suburban mom.

[00:19:39] But if you put it in the middle Manhattan like, peace-melling homeless people are going

[00:19:43] to just gravitate to that food court.

[00:19:46] You can't stop it from...

[00:19:48] I miss it.

[00:19:49] I love a nice food food court.

[00:19:50] You guys are retired this pipe.

[00:19:51] You want it out of?

[00:19:53] No.

[00:19:54] I don't want, I don't smoke pipes.

[00:19:55] Yeah, you could get into it.

[00:19:56] I smoke, I smoke bowls.

[00:19:58] You know, I get a Mearsham pipe instead.

[00:20:00] Oh yeah.

[00:20:01] What's that?

[00:20:02] The big ones?

[00:20:03] The white ones.

[00:20:04] Like those Ebony ass pipes.

[00:20:05] Oh yeah, I mean, I have carved out of an elephant's tuffs.

[00:20:08] You got Ebony on your mind.

[00:20:09] Yeah, you got that Ebony toddler porn on your mind, dude.

[00:20:12] Let me see what I'm near, Sean.

[00:20:15] Ebony.

[00:20:16] Just wearing a baby pair of Jordans.

[00:20:20] Yeah.

[00:20:21] Huge dick, like you're an adult woman.

[00:20:24] I can't wait to dress my child to baby Jordans.

[00:20:27] I love it.

[00:20:28] Just baby shoes that cost $100.

[00:20:30] This shit.

[00:20:31] All right, then.

[00:20:32] Oh, damn.

[00:20:33] Is it like selling ivory illegal now?

[00:20:37] So what, dude?

[00:20:38] Where are you a fucking bitch?

[00:20:39] Maybe it's just killing it.

[00:20:40] It's not ivory, it's Mearsham.

[00:20:42] Oh.

[00:20:43] That sounds like you're making fun of an Indian man.

[00:20:46] Yeah.

[00:20:47] No, it's sea foam.

[00:20:48] It floats on the black sea and then you do they like turn it into a pipe somehow.

[00:20:52] Oh, no, I won't.

[00:20:53] They make foam into a hard rigid substance.

[00:20:56] Yeah, I want I don't want I want tusks.

[00:20:59] Dude, it's really sad that they do that.

[00:21:02] Like this.

[00:21:03] Coaching shit makes me really sad.

[00:21:05] Yeah, that is sad.

[00:21:06] This is sick.

[00:21:07] This is on Amazon.

[00:21:08] Is there any is there any natural?

[00:21:09] It's only $40.

[00:21:10] You can get this dude.

[00:21:11] Get it right now.

[00:21:12] What are you waiting for?

[00:21:13] Instant buy.

[00:21:14] My better judgment to kick it.

[00:21:16] Buy with one click.

[00:21:17] No, no, not enough time.

[00:21:19] Fuck your better judgment.

[00:21:20] Yeah.

[00:21:21] One click is really.

[00:21:22] You know what's cool too?

[00:21:23] It's a problem.

[00:21:24] It's a problem.

[00:21:25] The watch night watchmen.

[00:21:28] I forget what they're called.

[00:21:29] They're like like church yard pipes.

[00:21:32] And they're just like these giant fucking pipes that are for like go all night.

[00:21:37] Yeah, for the guys that work like the graveyard shift here at night.

[00:21:42] Watch.

[00:21:43] I feel like I don't think that was what it's called.

[00:21:46] You guys ever get extra itchy balls?

[00:21:49] Uh, no, never.

[00:21:54] I had sex recently with a real fire asshole.

[00:21:58] Nice.

[00:21:59] My butt was just I didn't do that extra wipe and I could tell.

[00:22:02] Oh, you had a shitty ass?

[00:22:04] It wasn't shitty.

[00:22:05] It was itchy.

[00:22:06] It's itchy as fuck.

[00:22:07] Did it affect how hard you got?

[00:22:09] No.

[00:22:10] Church warden.

[00:22:11] That's what they're called.

[00:22:12] Were you on blue shoes?

[00:22:13] No, be honest, match.

[00:22:16] But I did just get a subscription.

[00:22:19] Yeah, we'll save for the regular.

[00:22:21] We'll save for the regular.

[00:22:22] Yeah, we should talk about that.

[00:22:24] We don't talk about dick poses.

[00:22:25] That's what I really like next to it.

[00:22:27] Oh, yeah.

[00:22:28] Just so I could booze hard and imagine, you know, imagine me with a pipe like that.

[00:22:31] Damn, that is.

[00:22:32] You have to, dude.

[00:22:33] It's like, what's the scale going to be there?

[00:22:34] You get addressed like no, like the Sherlock.

[00:22:36] No, same exact way.

[00:22:37] I do know you're like change.

[00:22:38] If you're getting drunk and like randomly avenge seven fold shirts.

[00:22:44] And the pipe, I don't think I'm going to have a three foot long fight, 14 inch Indian spirit.

[00:22:53] That would make no sense.

[00:22:54] Just showing up to the stand and like, no, no, I don't do spots anymore.

[00:22:58] Just having a pizza?

[00:23:01] Yeah.

[00:23:02] No, no, I don't really do stand up anymore.

[00:23:06] No, I'm just, no, I'm just chilling.

[00:23:09] Just chill.

[00:23:10] Just here to smoke the pipe.

[00:23:11] I'm just here trying to smoke.

[00:23:12] Next to Berg smoking a cigar.

[00:23:13] You got that giant pipe.

[00:23:15] No, I'm full.

[00:23:18] I'm the normal.

[00:23:20] I'm just a cool guy, man.

[00:23:22] I'm just a guy that likes to enjoy a piece of pipe in there.

[00:23:26] Damn.

[00:23:27] Oh, it's a Gandalf pipe.

[00:23:30] Gandalf?

[00:23:31] Is that what it's called?

[00:23:32] No, it's called the church warden pipe.

[00:23:34] Maybe if you were thinking about anything.

[00:23:36] No, you said it's a Gandalf pipe, but it's like, after five minutes of conversation.

[00:23:41] Can you do a gandalf special smokes like tricks like Gandalf?

[00:23:45] Yeah, I can blow.

[00:23:46] Is Gandalf smoke rings?

[00:23:48] I can do rings.

[00:23:49] What does Gandalf do?

[00:23:50] Does he do tricks?

[00:23:51] He makes like drag.

[00:23:52] He makes dragons.

[00:23:53] He can do cool shit, dude.

[00:23:54] Gandalf does tight shit.

[00:23:55] Wait, does he for real?

[00:23:56] It would be sick to sesh with Gandalf, dude.

[00:23:58] It would be sick to have a real like, real heady sesh with Gandalf.

[00:24:03] See all the smokes?

[00:24:06] Every little thought about a different universe where gay sex is straight and straight sex

[00:24:12] is gay.

[00:24:13] Sir Ian, please.

[00:24:14] Just what's on the script, sir?

[00:24:16] It's getting high with Gandalf.

[00:24:18] No, think about it.

[00:24:20] It makes more sense, right?

[00:24:22] The guys would fuck guys.

[00:24:24] They're the same.

[00:24:25] The guys fucking women.

[00:24:27] That's true.

[00:24:28] Trying to fuck Orlando Bloom on the set of.

[00:24:31] I'm saying it makes sense to me.

[00:24:33] So wow.

[00:24:34] I've never told him it that way.

[00:24:37] I'm too high right now.

[00:24:39] Shut up.

[00:24:40] Just keep puffing.

[00:24:41] Just keep hitting it.

[00:24:42] Is this just weed?

[00:24:43] Although you can keep speaking.

[00:24:44] You're not high enough yet, faggot.

[00:24:45] Gandalf is just weed.

[00:24:46] Is this the least with anything?

[00:24:48] I didn't know you got wet leg loss.

[00:24:51] Gandalf is just weed.

[00:25:05] Angel dust, GHB and dick pills.

[00:25:24] Jesus Christ.

[00:25:42] You did a great thing.

[00:25:53] expected sword

[00:26:04] Yeah, that would be good I've never seen the Lord of the Rings that seems like an improvement

[00:26:07] They suck they suck those movies so long suck. I wanted to like them. So goddamn

[00:26:13] I have tried so many times to sit down and watch even the place is

[00:26:17] Oh, they're fucking boring dude. They're fucking boring shitty movies

[00:26:22] I just wanted to watch the fight scenes the Ralph Bakshi Hobbit is awesome when I was a kid

[00:26:27] I love that part to we've talked about that

[00:26:29] I like that and then and then when those fucking Lord of the Rings movies came out

[00:26:32] I went to like the movie theater. I'm like this is gonna be great and it just sucks. Yeah fucking boring. Uh-huh. Do you see any titties?

[00:26:38] No, right? No

[00:26:40] Didn't they do another one with the dragon?

[00:26:43] smog

[00:26:44] The desolation of smell of smog. I

[00:26:48] Think that's the hobbit prequels. They don't even fight. They watch anything right

[00:26:53] I heard those look terrible because they like shot on like a super high

[00:26:56] Yeah, but he shot some of them at 60 FPS and everybody's talking about how like Peter Jackson's this great director or whatever

[00:27:02] It looks like shit, and it's like no New Zealand is just pretty. Yeah, everything else about those movies sucks

[00:27:08] Yeah, he shot them all in New Zealand. Yeah, we're gonna use you and do I mean it like how fucking

[00:27:13] Like how much of a misstep it was to shoot in 60 FPS is like why you would even fucking consider that or not even do like a

[00:27:20] Like just try it out with one scene and see if anybody is like this is a good idea

[00:27:27] Instead just watch the daily made a piece of media that is permanently fucked that will like be just jarring and unsettling

[00:27:33] And is that this shit that looks like plasticy and like fat almost well

[00:27:37] It's it's an unnatural. I mean your eyes have adjusted after a lifetime of watching movies at 24 frames per second to like

[00:27:43] Interpreting film that way and so that looks normal to you when you shoot something at 60 FPS

[00:27:50] The the motion is to fluid and it gives it that I've seen that shit. That's soap opera effect. It looks like a daytime soap. Yeah

[00:27:57] Yeah, which is not shot at that, but it looks like shitty. It doesn't look good

[00:28:02] Yeah, TVs do that because all all like LCDs they have like frame interpolation

[00:28:07] Where because then LCD refreshes it like the original like the first?

[00:28:13] Like generation of like mass consumer panel televisions were around like 60 Hertz

[00:28:18] so they would like the the image on the screen refreshes 60 times per second and so

[00:28:24] The because of the source media is only either 24 frames or 30 frames per second

[00:28:28] It would interpret and like interpret two frames and say okay

[00:28:33] This guy's here in this frame this guy's here in this frame in between that we'll put him here

[00:28:36] You know and that's what creates like on like flat panel TVs when they came out like why they all looked shitty like that

[00:28:43] It's where the changes said yeah, we're like people would like glide across the room

[00:28:47] You know I watched it like one of the terminator reboots in that shit and it was one of the worst things of all time for live sports

[00:28:55] It's great, you know if you're watching like hockey or something that shit's like cool

[00:28:59] You know but for film it ruins it. Yeah, it's like just not how you're supposed to be seeing that shit

[00:29:05] What's the mothership Peter Jackson made King Kong?

[00:29:08] Yeah, you made that King Kong. I didn't see that

[00:29:10] The monkey did she fuck it no, but they fall in love

[00:29:14] How would you fuck a woman if you're King Kong even your finger is too big for her pussy?

[00:29:19] Yeah, it's just you women just want to be killed

[00:29:23] Yeah, they want to be crushed by being honest. Yeah most most women. That's what chicks like what women want is to be killed by man

[00:29:31] I don't know that that's true. Do you sure yeah, it is dude? They're obsessed with like true crime shit

[00:29:36] What the Me Too movement is about is about guys that couldn't actually kill them sneaking in the positions in which they can

[00:29:42] If you just returned to I was watching some some videos on YouTube

[00:29:48] Let the algorithm take over

[00:29:51] Dude, it's so funny how YouTube cuz like I didn't even I saw those those art of I was always embarrassed of like because my

[00:29:57] YouTube's like hooked up to my TV people come over be like, oh, let's close a YouTube right right right right right, you know

[00:30:03] fucking like you know Ben Shapiro rape

[00:30:10] And like I wasn't watching that I don't know

[00:30:13] Like I don't know why that's in there and then it turns out yeah YouTube was just promoting all those crazy

[00:30:18] Everybody mmm-hmm

[00:30:21] So yeah, we what mom my roommates we throw on Bernie on Rogan

[00:30:26] Yeah, and now the algorithms fucked yeah off

[00:30:31] Really I just listen to a lot of music on YouTube. So it always just a lot of fish. Yeah, the only thing's I'm

[00:30:38] Burlington are

[00:30:40] 2003 you know

[00:30:42] J Leno's garage and of course that what's his name Tobias Wendell that the car the other car the artistic car course

[00:30:50] That's good shit

[00:30:52] Yeah today I decided to build an entire time machine out of out of

[00:30:57] Birch

[00:30:58] What a lot of people said that it's impossible because with wood you're not capable of bending the fabric of space time

[00:31:04] But I found that if you create a jig for the table saw you can create an

[00:31:09] impossibly elaborate system of interlocking gears that will bend the very

[00:31:15] What I did first is I

[00:31:17] I drove the wood home from Home Depot my homemade wooden truck

[00:31:26] He's like instead of just using my regular tools I decided to recreate them out of wood

[00:31:32] My parents died five years ago and I've replaced them with completely autonomous wooden robots

[00:31:40] Damn I'm trying to fuck some wood pussy you'll notice my face is covered in band-aids from my mother kissing me on the

[00:31:46] on the cheek and and filling my face with splinters because

[00:31:50] By the time I installed the chip to give her a sense of pain in the motion

[00:31:55] It was too late to remove the burrs from her facial features without causing severe pain

[00:32:01] So now to maintain our relationship. I allow her to fill my face with just wood chips and splinters

[00:32:09] Because I love her so much

[00:32:11] That's okay, so we're gonna get some super glue. Yeah, I don't know

[00:32:17] But people do still use YouTube which is insane to me like youtubers have like oh

[00:32:23] Like watching people's like yeah, yeah

[00:32:26] Vlogging channels people vlog and they have like millions of followers going to LA is really depressing because you see people like on the street

[00:32:34] Vlogging yeah, I don't see that much as much in New York, but not dude

[00:32:41] Here it's about making fucking money. Yeah

[00:32:44] Wall Street and shit like that

[00:32:47] Yeah, how come you never see homeless people with a sign that says like I'm stupid and

[00:32:51] Untalented and I believe too hard in myself. Yep. I'm sorry blew all my money investing in myself

[00:32:58] Well because those people get sex trafficked anything will help no

[00:33:02] I mean like you know like fitted cap you vlog guys. Oh, yeah

[00:33:07] I'm just really trying to get my smoothie company all right, right?

[00:33:11] My bespoke yo-yo company what's up guys Chad Y2K here?

[00:33:16] I'm 48 years old and I dress like a toddler

[00:33:21] I dress like a Midwestern toddler with cancer

[00:33:23] I've never dived in on like obviously they're like a handful of successful youtubers, but they have to be millions of failures

[00:33:32] Yeah, of course. I've I should I should watch more of those. Yeah, they're probably terrible. I saw a guy that I

[00:33:42] Saw some horrible Scottish comic

[00:33:45] Cuz I was like looking up Dave. Do you guys remember Dave chauffeur from Baltimore? Yeah

[00:33:49] Yeah, I was looking up some Dave chauffeur and some muggle David and

[00:33:54] I think there's a guy named Dave chauffeur who's got like 12 views on his shit

[00:33:59] It's really some pretty bad comedy. So there's that

[00:34:02] But I love just diving into

[00:34:05] David chauffeur videos

[00:34:08] Checking him out

[00:34:09] That time everyone got his penis

[00:34:12] Remember that he sent a open mic or a dick pick and then everyone got their hands on it. I

[00:34:18] Don't know if you ever see Dave chauffeur's penis was it good? No

[00:34:24] Little in pink I

[00:34:28] Stop looking at Dave chauffeur's pretty

[00:34:32] He's accidentally looking past his phone is his own dick. No, I'm like damn what oh

[00:34:38] No, he was circumcised like the third time I did stand up it was like an RFD and

[00:34:43] And Ralph was like he's like man. I don't want to make you nervous, but Uncle Dave's in the audience

[00:34:53] Find that email he sent me when I like just didn't want to do his shitty show

[00:34:57] And I was like I got a flat tire and then he like sent me like the stats on what the

[00:35:02] Donut could do and how far it could go that was awesome. I was like you got me. I'm lying. I'm not doing your show

[00:35:13] If out you figured it out, I'm lying

[00:35:16] We both knew I was lying just accept the fucking yeah society

[00:35:23] Purely a courtesy I'm doing to not say fuck you. I don't want to do your dumb shit

[00:35:30] Accepted please

[00:35:32] Yeah

[00:35:33] Salute Uncle Dave. Yeah, sorry my mom has me so Thieleo

[00:35:39] That's cool because me so Thieleo me you can only get oh, yeah, you're right. My mom's fine. I

[00:35:45] Don't want to drive two hours to perform for a nine rednecks in Western Maryland thing is though

[00:35:51] It's like I would do that that that

[00:35:54] Westminster show and that was a good show

[00:35:56] That was fun that like cellar door. Oh the stuff. No, the soldier was Frederick. That was that's a good show

[00:36:01] Then maybe like two doors down. Yes two doors down pub. Yeah, I remember that one. Yeah, that was kind of fun

[00:36:08] I had a friend that was always trying to get me to move the Westminster

[00:36:11] He's like dude. You got like where's that by West Virginia? No, it's like by fucking PA

[00:36:17] It's like yeah, probably like five minutes from the fucking Pennsylvania border. Uh-huh and in what is that like?

[00:36:23] Carol Cecil maybe Carol County. Yeah, it's Carol County something like that. Yeah, Cecil's the Cecil Cecil Cecil County

[00:36:32] And that's above Kent. I don't know where the fuck Kent is it's like

[00:36:37] So Carol then

[00:36:40] Let's power rank the Maryland counties. Well, hold on. It's it's Carol George one. Yeah, you're a PG boy

[00:36:47] Hell yeah, well, I'm talking about what you go across the top of the state, right? Okay

[00:36:51] Washington Allegheny

[00:36:55] Frederick, mm-hmm. Oh, you're starting west to east west east. Yeah, so I'm pretty sure it's Washington Allegheny

[00:37:03] Frederick sounds about right Carol, but isn't Frederick South more

[00:37:10] See is Elton in Cecil County. No, no, it's in

[00:37:16] Um, uh, fuck what's the one Columbia's in?

[00:37:21] Isn't Columbia Columbia is actually in three different counties really Columbia is technically in

[00:37:26] Laurel Howard and Montgomery County. I was thinking of Howard

[00:37:31] Yeah, yeah, yeah, Columbia is tricky Columbia's tricky. No, you know what Laurel is in technically in three different counties Columbia

[00:37:39] Is Columbia's just in hallowards. That's right. Yes. Yeah, Laurel's and wait wait now. I'm confused

[00:37:46] Either either Columbia or Laurel is like technically it seems like Laurel would be like in between

[00:37:52] Larls and PG County Howard County in

[00:37:55] Montgomery County

[00:37:56] Maybe a piece of Montgomery. Maybe just a little piece of Montgomery is Laurel County. No, no, it's just just yeah

[00:38:03] But I mean is there also Laurel County

[00:38:05] What are the counts? It's Allegheny Washington Carol Cecil Howard Baltimore Kent Somerset Montgomery Prince Georges. Mm-hmm

[00:38:14] Calvert Calvert Charles Charles

[00:38:18] What's St. Mary's in

[00:38:20] I think St. Mary's either Calvert or Charles. Yeah. Oh, you're forgetting Waldorf. I'm thinking Southern Maryland

[00:38:25] I don't fucking know at all. What about Anna Rundle County? Oh, and a Rundle of course who could forget?

[00:38:30] How could we forget the home of the fucking the mall and the

[00:38:37] Of course, obviously for Baltimore City is tech city. No, it's not a county. It doesn't work the same way, but it's it's

[00:38:44] Baltimore County is like, okay, well, it does circle around who cares. Okay, it doesn't matter

[00:38:48] We're just trying to list all the count. All right

[00:38:51] Ocean City is in what is that?

[00:38:54] Salisbury is that a county? Salisbury and Ocean? No, probably both and let's call it ocean counties

[00:38:59] Pacific County

[00:39:02] Southern Maryland is like I don't know. It's like a whole other like a play to warchester

[00:39:07] Worcesters

[00:39:10] Worcesters Worcester Somerset

[00:39:14] Comico

[00:39:16] Y Comico. Yeah, yeah, Dorchester

[00:39:19] Yeah, or Chester or Chester Talbot Talbot. That's another

[00:39:23] Talbot about Talbot. That's another one of those Eastern Shore. Yeah, what else man Caroline Caroline Queen Anne's

[00:39:32] I was gonna say Queen Anne. I fucking go my quiz Queen Anne's and Anna Rundle the same thing and I'm like no

[00:39:38] I thought maybe they renamed it

[00:39:41] Keep going. Hold on. Look at the map though. Am I right?

[00:39:43] And then Allegheny or is it Allegheny then Washington? It's Garrett Allegheny Washington

[00:39:49] Garrett Carroll the fuck is Garrett County?

[00:39:53] The farthest west

[00:39:55] That's right by West Virginia, right? That's insane. Yeah, that's all the way to tip. I don't I can't

[00:40:00] Even recall is that where Cumberland is Adam? Why don't you look that up Cumberland is in Allegheny?

[00:40:05] Okay. Yeah, okay, but Cumberland's towards the end right look it up. Yeah, he's Cumberland and fucking Garrett

[00:40:10] I know where Cumberland is but yes me too

[00:40:12] Hager's

[00:40:13] Town is yeah, Cumberland is in Allegheny

[00:40:16] Garrett it looks like the biggest city there is Oakland. Yeah

[00:40:22] Hager's town is in Washington. Hey, your sound is in Washington, of course

[00:40:26] Now finished what else what else would a we would a Shelbyville kind of place? Hey, so you got

[00:40:32] Uh, Charles County you said it St. Mary's County. Yeah, of course and Rundle Howard Montgomery. I think we got a wall. Yeah

[00:40:40] Harford. Oh, yeah, that's where there is. Yeah, that's the thing man

[00:40:43] It's like those are easy ones that you should just get immediately. Yeah, who left out Frederick and Harford right away

[00:40:49] Harford is easy money. I spent some time in Harford. Yeah, that's after the color me funny

[00:40:56] Have a distance. Oh, I forgot about that. That's where that's where the Tom Myers recording happened. Yeah

[00:41:02] Yeah, oh, that should have been the first one you remember. What was the fucking bar called? There was some Irish bar

[00:41:09] Shitty o

[00:41:11] He's

[00:41:13] Shitty o fucks

[00:41:16] Yeah

[00:41:17] Maryland's also the only state that actually like all right now let's do Delaware rahobah can't count as yeah rahobah Chester

[00:41:25] Doerchester Dover

[00:41:28] New castle. Mm-hmm your naming cities in Delaware naming anything I can name about Delaware

[00:41:35] There's no in fight ends middle sex Ian five

[00:41:38] I know you're gonna try to be for president. You're from Delaware. You see that they were like all right new plan

[00:41:49] We're not gonna go out in public that much

[00:41:55] It's incredible how much dementia that mother what if there's a recession and then he accident honestly shout out to Maryland

[00:42:02] What a great state love it. It really is you think about it good black-eyed Susan's until you name all the counties

[00:42:08] You know you forget how much fucking diversity you have in one we got mountains. We got you got mounds you got beaches

[00:42:15] You got fucking country cities countries you got racist white people black people you got Jews you got fucking you have a ton of

[00:42:23] You have anything you want you can get in Maryland name one thing Adam will tell you where you can get in Maryland

[00:42:28] Uh beef sandwich. Are you kidding me? C'mon. Yeah right there by the fucking gentleman's club

[00:42:35] The gold club it looks like Delaware only has three counties, which I think is humble. Yeah

[00:42:40] Fuck Delaware, dude. Fuck Delaware fucking pieces. That's the opposite too because people are like oh Maryland Delaware

[00:42:46] They're very similar. No fuck off Delaware has nothing nothing. They have nothing

[00:42:50] It's they have no tax they hold you hostage. You have to pay a toll to get out of their dumbass

[00:42:54] They're fucking hot. It's also Delaware is just a speed trap on the way to Philly. I 95

[00:43:00] Sucks on Delaware. It's the fucking worst fuck Delaware, dude

[00:43:04] Do they go down to two lanes when you get to Delaware? Yeah, and then they are fucking they

[00:43:08] Fucking arrest you for a hate crime if you drive 67 miles per hour. Mm-hmm

[00:43:14] Uh

[00:43:15] All right. You want to talk more about the eastern seaboard? Tell me you want to see what I'll tell you where you can get anything from Maryland

[00:43:20] Go ahead, man

[00:43:21] You know what it is? It's Jersey without Italians. That's what makes a Maryland great

[00:43:26] There's no fight you don't know Italian

[00:43:28] So you do not have to deal with them there are such a little minority that we can all tell them to shut the block

[00:43:33] Is there a little Italy and Baltimore? Yeah, there is

[00:43:36] What is it? It's a bunch of old motherfuckers playing botchee downtown in a weird neighborhood that no one else lives in

[00:43:41] It's like between the it's like next to the inner harbor. Is it a nice neighborhood?

[00:43:45] It's kind of nice, but it's it's

[00:43:47] Uh should we gentrify all around it is abandoned and they won't because Italians won't sell

[00:43:52] They won't sell they just fucking stick around they're gonna die there

[00:43:56] There's a couple okay Italian restaurants, but yeah little Italy and Baltimore sucks dick

[00:44:00] Is there a Chinatown Baltimore? There is not a Chinatown, but there is

[00:44:05] If you go to uh

[00:44:07] Statesville autopsy finds Korean stuff finds broken bones in Jeffrey Epstein's neck

[00:44:12] Oh, yeah, deepening questions around his dad

[00:44:14] That's awesome dude. They say that it could be from a hanging, but more likely a string strangulation. Yeah

[00:44:23] They're just straight up gonna be like yeah, no, it's no big deal. He killed himself. Anyway, he's strangled himself

[00:44:30] Yeah

[00:44:32] But didn't haven't people said that you can't hang yourself in those cells you can dude

[00:44:37] You can you wire taught me that that you can kill yourself by sitting down. Yep with the belt. Do that

[00:44:42] The engine. Yeah, you just sat down. You remember that. I remember seeing that scene. Oh, it's like damn really

[00:44:49] That's nice cool idea. Yeah. Yeah, yeah space-saving suicide techniques

[00:44:54] Are you trying to commit suicide in a hotel room in a closet?

[00:44:59] Yeah, if you kill yourself, you're not allowed to be black anymore. That's the point of that scene

[00:45:04] They take it away from you. That's the punishment. You get buried as a white man

[00:45:07] Like you go to hell, but if you're black and you kill yourself guess what now you're white that it would seem like take that

[00:45:14] Yeah, you would be lame. Yeah in the afterlife or do you get reincarnated as a white man?

[00:45:19] You get reincarnated as one of the white chicks

[00:45:23] But you look like Sean and marlin in that movie

[00:45:25] I love that they made that movie and they like they didn't test the makeup and they were like this doesn't work

[00:45:31] They were like this doesn't similar to the p-jack. No, but it does work though. It doesn't they look

[00:45:35] They look insane. It's part of what's crazy about it

[00:45:38] Is that everyone's just going along with this incredibly fucking stupid thing? Yeah, I love it

[00:45:45] Oh one of those girls who I believe the original one that they body switch with

[00:45:51] Was also in boy meets world and now she's doing hardcore pornography on black.com. Yeah, who?

[00:45:58] I don't know her name, but I have jacked off from the

[00:46:00] She was the redhead from boy meets world the college years. Oh she was um

[00:46:06] She was uh the brother

[00:46:08] Pissed me off because to panga to panga got

[00:46:12] What?

[00:46:13] She got too big. She got too chunky. You know, I like thick to panga, dude

[00:46:17] No, I like during high school. Oh, you like there's a child. I like new by all new by all depending

[00:46:22] I like I was a child too. No, you weren't yes. I was you were just watching it when I picked you up

[00:46:26] I wasn't watching it today

[00:46:27] You're watching the pilot episode of boy meets world when they were nine years old

[00:46:32] And you were getting horny for tabanga

[00:46:35] Um, yeah that read it. That's a tip for all the come town fans out there. Yeah, that this girl. Yep

[00:46:41] She's got a couple scenes on black right now

[00:46:44] So i'm sorry if you're one of our many racist fans

[00:46:49] She got some big old things. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah

[00:46:52] Oh, sorry. This is white genocide. I hope the new modern warfare is a fucking complete garbage

[00:46:59] I I saw the gameplay trailer and looked like just absolute shit and made me want to kill myself

[00:47:06] And if it's

[00:47:08] I mean it dude. I believe you I just like I need it. You need it. I need it. You went you had read that for a while

[00:47:15] Then there was a there was a

[00:47:17] Call of Duty modern warfare 2 was the pinnacle of fucking gaming. Mm-hmm. That's like that was it

[00:47:23] That was the game nothing Adam. You said you had a friend that had to drop out of college because well, yes, it repeated here

[00:47:31] Danny had a repeat a year because of call of duty. It's

[00:47:34] It was murk too much. It was fucking it was perfect dude

[00:47:38] And it like it was so addicting. Yeah, I would fucking wake up at 3 p.m

[00:47:42] Get like a six back and some tacos from next to my apartment

[00:47:47] That was pretty tight

[00:47:48] And I was play call of duty modern warfare until it was time to lift weights

[00:47:52] And then I would go do that

[00:47:54] And then I would go back and continue drinking and playing that game until 6 a.m

[00:47:59] Then pass out and that was my life every day for like seven

[00:48:04] I

[00:48:09] Would do a spot here. I would like feature a cap city like once a month

[00:48:13] Maybe I go to villian feature there, but I did just a plain college

[00:48:18] How did you afford that you didn't have it? You had that day job? I would teach defensive driving

[00:48:22] I well, I also like temped for a while too, so I would do temp jobs here and then

[00:48:28] Joe stats was the apartment manager gotcha

[00:48:31] So he would anytime like somebody moved in he would give me half off ren say I referred them

[00:48:37] So my rent was like often $300 a month

[00:48:40] Which was paid for by teaching defensive driving once yeah, yeah, yeah, and then

[00:48:45] Prior to that so you had to work a total of maybe four days a week a month

[00:48:49] Yeah to to afford that life barely barely anything

[00:48:51] And then I would like temp when I did have that temp job that lasted like a month and it was they were paying me like 15 or 20

[00:48:57] And that sounds awesome. Yeah, there's no income tax in texas. So it was like living in texas was a joke if you made like

[00:49:04] Like you make like 17 to 20k a year

[00:49:07] Your rent by the time, you know 10 years ago was like nothing. Yeah, awesome is expensive now, right?

[00:49:11] Yeah now and also like prior to that I lived with like chris for a year and he uh

[00:49:18] Like he would pay me the rent and cash which I would never spend

[00:49:21] So I just had like cash on hand from like the other half of the rent

[00:49:24] And on top like I was working at home and making like I think like 13 an hour nice and yeah

[00:49:30] So I had so yeah, you had time to pay like zero expenses

[00:49:32] Yeah, at that point when I moved into that apartment I had something like I think like seven grand saved or something

[00:49:39] Yeah, and I was like I'm gonna focus on comedy

[00:49:43] Did not play call of duty

[00:49:46] Yeah, hell yeah, dude. Yeah, fuck. I missed that shit. I can't wait to just quit give up on life completely

[00:49:52] Yeah

[00:49:54] And just do that again. That's gonna be that's what retirement homes are gonna look like for our generation

[00:49:59] It'll just be a bunch of old fat motherfuckers getting fucked up and playing games

[00:50:06] Yeah, the best actually not that it was that and then what I used to love is when I when I did work at home at the call center

[00:50:12] I would bring the phone out into the living room and I would just get drunk and play uh lego indiana jones

[00:50:19] While on the phone with buster

[00:50:21] You can play that drunk for sure. Yeah, no, that's that's the only game I could play when I worked at the call center because it you can't lose

[00:50:27] Yeah, it's for babies. They're literally for babies

[00:50:30] I would just get really drunk and high and they'd be like my email doesn't work. I'd be like hang on

[00:50:35] Okay

[00:50:37] Oh, sorry, I was trying to figure some out on your account

[00:50:41] And I'm like just making a lego guy put like a a purple lego on top

[00:50:47] The unlock some kind of

[00:50:49] Egyptian puzzle

[00:50:53] Massive respect. Yeah, I used to play snooed at my telemarketing job. That was my that was high I would game

[00:51:01] And guys fuck with snooed

[00:51:04] Uh, what's that? That's like uh, you shoot like a ball ball. Yeah. Yeah, I played that shit. Yeah

[00:51:11] Uh, she's American government mortgage

[00:51:14] my former place of employment that definitely

[00:51:16] Definitely aided the fucking mortgage crisis. Yeah, 100%

[00:51:21] The great recession my boss dog used to show us his nuts all the time

[00:51:26] Talk about cheating on his wife

[00:51:29] Pretty pretty chill dude. He talked about it with everyone

[00:51:33] Did she ever find out? I don't know

[00:51:36] I don't think so

[00:51:38] He said he got head while his dick was soft on the beach ocean city

[00:51:46] He claimed to like gotten sucked off from one of those Ukrainian teenagers

[00:51:50] And that he couldn't stay hard

[00:51:52] Nice. Is that a thing in ocean city? They're Ukrainian teenagers. Oh, yeah, that's the whole place is staffed by like sex trafficked

[00:51:59] fucking oh, they're all like

[00:52:00] Seasonal employees. They're like welcome to mr. Ducks

[00:52:04] I

[00:52:07] We have shirt to sell you. Please don't fuck me. Yes

[00:52:13] Please don't ask

[00:52:16] I love to come from Ukraine to sell to sell hermit crab to to drunk the rapist from Pennsylvania

[00:52:25] to uh, rapist bros from Pennsylvania

[00:52:28] They're at 35 of them stacked into a suburban and they come here to rape me

[00:52:35] from allentown

[00:52:37] a

[00:52:40] Entire Chevy suburban filled with rapists from allentown

[00:52:45] Is on their way to have spring break in my ass

[00:52:51] Damn dude

[00:52:52] We gotta play a come flash dude off season secrets

[00:52:55] Which would do it in February my birthday weekend in yeah, it was like terrible weather

[00:53:01] Secrets New York magazine interviewed Jeffrey Epstein's bodyguard. Oh shit. Oh, I saw that. Yeah, what did he say?

[00:53:18] Damn my man's talking on the record. Yeah, I'll be scared if I was him Igor Zinnoviev

[00:53:23] I

[00:53:25] Was sex traffic from Russia my sister was me and my sister were shipped to ocean city

[00:53:32] Yeah to doe boys pizza

[00:53:37] Wouldn't mr. G. She's in our vignev say

[00:53:41] I'm walking. This is an article. I haven't Adam's doing this. Adam. I'm reading about I'm reading about uh

[00:53:47] About epsilon as well. What do we got?

[00:53:49] Well

[00:53:54] TMZ is saying that Epstein either hurled himself off the top bunk or had his feet to the ground and lead forward to cut off his air supply

[00:54:04] What?

[00:54:05] I think that they think that he hurled himself off the top bunk. Oh, is that other gonna try and explain why the neck his neck

[00:54:11] Bones were broken. Yeah, didn't they also didn't someone else say they heard shrieking?

[00:54:16] Yeah, from mr. Jail. You can't shriek while you hang yourself. No, I don't know

[00:54:22] What if he was like I'm killing myself

[00:54:25] They say jeffrey Epstein's blood vessels is in his eyes popped when the air supply was cut off by the bedsheet that was wrapped around his neck

[00:54:35] What if he did kill himself, but it was like the godfather too

[00:54:38] Where they were like come on man do the right thing like bill and hillary were like

[00:54:42] Oh, yeah, they brought his they brought his they brought his head of father from Israel

[00:54:50] You have to you have to take one for the cabal

[00:54:53] I guess his bodyguard is russian. So, you know every liberal now is like what trump is it's it's collusive. It's the russians

[00:55:01] God damn you should you should kill yourself if you think it's gonna be so awesome when it's joe biden

[00:55:06] versus trump in a dementia off. Yeah, just like and trump is just flustering biden's dumbass

[00:55:16] Who's by he debated sera palin?

[00:55:20] Yeah, and then also who's that other fucking idiot that ran with romney?

[00:55:25] Paul ryan was at him. Oh, yeah

[00:55:29] Vice president and he got worked by biden. I think this interviews. I don't know why they published it. This is just some russian guy

[00:55:35] And so these are the questions by this time you would stop competing as an mma fighter not really actually you were still competing

[00:55:42] Yes, maybe I stopped already. Maybe I stopped already

[00:55:46] Virgin islands in pom beach it was I started working in pom beach. I would see him only when um where the fuck is it?

[00:55:55] And when he has to go to big jail actually

[00:55:59] That is verbatim

[00:56:01] Yeah, wait what you just said is this is verbatim what is written in the new york magazine?

[00:56:06] Yes, maybe I stopped already. Maybe I stopped already. Yeah, he was in the virgin islands in pom beach

[00:56:11] It was uh, I started working in pom beach. I would see him only when uh with the fuck is it uh

[00:56:16] When he has to go to big jail actually

[00:56:20] All right, that's when he was at pom beach the first time I start before working with him in the york in virgin islands

[00:56:26] You were in New York also. Yeah, you drove him in all three places in new york

[00:56:31] I did him drive him in new york

[00:56:33] Yeah, driver whatever his name was he was like old family

[00:56:36] I just trained with him in new york and travel with him

[00:56:39] And I just drove him here in pom beach because of the place he had different driver

[00:56:44] They're just personnel, you know, you just drive him somebody drive him in new mexico

[00:56:49] Somebody drive him in virgin islands actually I just drove him here in pom beach

[00:56:53] You went with him to all the other properties. Did you go with him to mexico also?

[00:56:58] Yeah, you worked with him and traveled with him 24 seven. So that means you're on his plane. Correct?

[00:57:03] Yeah, you lived in his guest house. Yeah

[00:57:06] You lived alone in the guest house of course in bumbitch when we stay at bumbitch

[00:57:10] We have a guest house and there's a property manager lived there

[00:57:13] He was working there before me. It was a polish guy

[00:57:16] Yeah, the body guard abilities are you know you were introduced I've seen by a middleman

[00:57:22] So how was it when you first met him pretty good? I never heard anything from him

[00:57:26] Let's say was him put up a rude or something. He's always polite always nice person. Basically always smiling

[00:57:34] Yeah, he just got his dick sucked by 12 year old. He was always in a great mood. Yeah

[00:57:40] This is just ridiculous

[00:57:42] What did you teach him basic workout lift weights and a little practice some self-defense

[00:57:48] like boxing kicking

[00:57:51] Was he a good athlete he's in put the good shape. That's like we got an exclusive interview with jeffrey Epstein chef

[00:57:57] And then they're like what about peanut butter and jelly sandwiches like I did see it's a son

[00:58:02] Which that does it bring the brother and jelly on it

[00:58:05] And jeffrey liked to eat these so yes, he would have a sometimes a for lunch maybe but they're not doing that so much

[00:58:11] You have a different day different meals. You see it's a breakfast is a

[00:58:16] Eggs and they lunch time usually a sandwich and then the in that it's like

[00:58:21] Spaghetti meatball or maybe a piece of a good fish

[00:58:25] They're like wow earth shadow

[00:58:27] Earth shattering interview with a man who made lunch

[00:58:31] Just fucking nothing in there's a video has he ever heard of spaghetti? Yeah

[00:58:35] There's a video from like inside edition or something of a girl that was like I think she was a flight attendant on the low-litre express

[00:58:42] And she's a woman whatever and she said hold on shut up real quick

[00:58:47] Did he ever talk about his case? Why was he in trouble?

[00:58:50] No, he never talked about this stuff. He never talked about any of that stuff. No really no

[00:58:58] Yeah exclusive we have nothing

[00:59:00] Why did this guy even go on the record?

[00:59:05] Didn't even know he was on the record. I don't know it says like whoever wrote this says that they interviewed him in 2015

[00:59:11] When they were at the daily beast and now he's recanting everything he said

[00:59:14] Oh, so in our conversation 2015 he describes his relationship with teenage girlfriend so many times

[00:59:18] I tried to stop him and tried to tell him my opinion about that he didn't listen to me

[00:59:21] That's the reason why I'm not working for him. No more. I make him do that to let me go

[00:59:24] You remember saying that and he says it's not the teenage girls. I never see the teenage girls

[00:59:28] I tell you I never see teenage girls plenty of time when I work for him

[00:59:32] I never see anything on put up her teenage girls around him. That's what they say

[00:59:35] My man is trying not to get got right now, dude

[00:59:38] I think it's just like, you know, yeah, it'll lower his profile

[00:59:42] So now you say only when you saw him

[00:59:44] You know, it's funny too. It's like the liberals go after Russia and it's like Russians just lie

[00:59:49] But you have to like understand that's just like a part of their culture, right?

[00:59:53] It's not a part of our culture. We're supposed to have integrity

[00:59:56] Mm. So people like the Clintons or whoever who are lying corrupt pieces of shit

[01:00:00] It's worse than when fucking Putin does it because Putin's just doing what he knows of course

[01:00:05] All of the people Putin is killed

[01:00:06] It's that it's like if you were able to save them and bring them to America within a month

[01:00:11] They'd be committing insurance fraud

[01:00:14] That is just what they know it's that thing about the scorpion and the monkey or whatever

[01:00:18] It's the scorpion and the monkey a classic

[01:00:22] Scorpion

[01:00:25] Where the scorpion stings the monkey

[01:00:38] Maybe I can

[01:00:44] That's what the scorpion sounds oh

[01:00:47] For some reason I get no not even him

[01:00:49] Yeah

[01:00:51] Definitely not the monkey though

[01:00:58] Yeah, there's there's a video my friends and me

[01:01:00] There's another thing you said to me last time about Epstein the girls you saw at his house specifically about moments when you're trying to offer

[01:01:05] My advice about his conduct

[01:01:07] Sometimes he tries to make droque he'd say thank you grandma

[01:01:10] I don't need your opinion

[01:01:12] So like when the russian guy was like you need to stop having sex with kids Jeffrey

[01:01:16] He's like yeah, okay grandpa

[01:01:22] Dude yeah, Epstein really was on a hot winning streak

[01:01:28] Okay, man, I'm gonna be okay actually yeah, he's the best dude he had a hot I mean he was going for that Larry nazors

[01:01:38] record

[01:01:39] Damn

[01:01:40] Nastors in jail right that's what happens when you're a solo pedophile you get to spend you the rest of your days getting raped in prison

[01:01:49] Nastors definitely getting raped

[01:01:51] He's getting his whole absolutely worked over and he deserves it if you ask me yeah, it's called justice

[01:01:58] scorpion in the monkey style

[01:02:02] Were you saying Adam? Oh, yeah, there's oh, yeah that inside edition thing. There's a girl

[01:02:07] This woman yeah, I worked on that I worked on the flight attendant

[01:02:11] I'm or I worked on the plane as a flight attendant

[01:02:13] I met Bill Clinton a bunch of times and he was great like we went we

[01:02:18] I worked on that trip to Africa with him and he took me shopping and

[01:02:23] Asked me to pick out a gift for Chelsea

[01:02:27] and when he when we were on the plane he had like to ask me to make

[01:02:31] to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and

[01:02:34] So for some reason the flight attendant or the the producer gave her

[01:02:41] Two pieces of bread and peanut butter and jelly and I like the end of the news item

[01:02:46] She's like making the peanut

[01:02:49] Like recreate baking bill clinton a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It's the most insane thing in the world

[01:02:55] It's like yeah, what were those producers from fucking inside edition proves that she's not she's not lying

[01:03:00] Yeah, it's like like if you give them enough of a story. They don't know what to do with it. Yeah

[01:03:06] Like was she fucking bill clinton

[01:03:08] Uh maybe it seems like it sounds like it

[01:03:11] But let's check it. Why they say like can you make one of those people checking back in on egor?

[01:03:15] It's like the reporters

[01:03:17] But this is mostly this reporter arguing with him that he said or didn't say something in 2015

[01:03:22] So then now they're saying it's exactly what you said. I can send it to you. Here's something else you said

[01:03:26] It could be tricky. You know normally he always checks his newspapers. Nothing about me. I say no

[01:03:31] You say they forget about me and when I mentioned Epstein was being exposed for teenage girls

[01:03:37] You said oh, sorry and when I mentioned Epstein was being exposed from s every teenage girls

[01:03:40] You said I'm not surprised at all. I'm just surprised how long he can be outside the real world someday

[01:03:46] It's going to call him and it's going to be real jail

[01:03:48] You have so much money you can pay it off me personally

[01:03:51] If I caught him doing something with my daughter or something like that

[01:03:54] I'm not going to go to police

[01:03:57] Much worse

[01:03:59] That guy could try to sue me and manipulate the situation with his money

[01:04:02] That's the American way. I know he screwed up a lot of fashion girls also. That's a different story

[01:04:10] He laughs

[01:04:11] Remember saying that I remember said one thing like if I be the father and somebody screw my daughter

[01:04:16] I don't give a shit that much money. I have I definitely do some bad thing. That's what I said before that stuff

[01:04:21] I don't he's like let me be on the record. I will murder anyone who fucks my daughter

[01:04:26] That's why he's fucking walking this back because he told this reporter he would kill jeffrey Epstein

[01:04:31] Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah

[01:04:34] Egoer, I'm not making this stuff up. I was very careful and he says I'm really careful too

[01:04:41] Right back at you pal

[01:04:43] Yeah

[01:04:44] Also, if you're also for this reporter exactly why are you trying to fucking

[01:04:48] Literally in danger this motherfuckers thing all journalists are fucking sociopaths and they don't care about their own glory

[01:04:55] All right, you know, so yeah, it's not like we're uncovering any truth everyone knows Epstein's a fucking pedophile

[01:05:01] All you're doing is just making this man's life more dangerous reporters will in danger and slander whoever they need to to get their story across

[01:05:09] Yeah, yeah, yeah, fuck them dude. I'm let's say and me unless they work at reason in which case they're just autistic. Yeah

[01:05:16] Those are the only people or arguing for no

[01:05:20] Age of consent law. Well, that's because they're autistic right and they're like well if you think about the numbers

[01:05:25] That's like you have to think about the people they're like I don't understand

[01:05:31] Ah fuck the rest of them are the rest of them are a symptom of sociopathy

[01:05:37] The reason ones are a symptom of autism

[01:05:39] Mmm beautiful. Yeah, it's a monkey in the scorpions

[01:05:48] I tried to

[01:05:56] That's what I'm just that one's fine to differentiate the characters that one's fine if I was I wasn't

[01:06:02] Hey, I'm a monkey. Hey, I don't think I see yeah

[01:06:06] That's because you're not looking the right place. You gotta read between the lines a set a set a set Rockies fables

[01:06:14] They saw a snap a snap

[01:06:18] Asuck's fables. There's there's one from website called hectic dad.com

[01:06:24] What's it about the scorpion and the monkey

[01:06:29] Yeah, shut up dude

[01:06:31] Shut your bitch ass. This is like this is him getting into a fight with the reporter now

[01:06:37] I realize other tries to talk to you others tried to talk to you

[01:06:43] Uh, did anybody off did he ever offer you money? Did anybody try to sound serious? No, I've seen I'd never tried to give you money

[01:06:49] I wonder what he was capable of doing since he said a lot of lawsuits

[01:06:53] And then he says nobody ever wanted to offer me money. I don't care about money

[01:06:56] I want everybody to just leave me alone

[01:06:58] Just one thing when somebody from newspaper is right and from everywhere call you me red army fucking commando

[01:07:04] What's that mean exactly?

[01:07:06] Yeah, so this is a reporter's like hey this Russian guy that's just trying to earn a fucking living driving around the fucking pedophiles

[01:07:13] Let's drag him back into the spotlight. Yeah, and yeah, I mean it works. We're reading this shit

[01:07:20] I would click on this shit. Yeah, I'm clicking on all the obscene shit, dude

[01:07:24] Mm-hmm. This is good guys Vigo and fucking eastern promises. Yes. He really is dude

[01:07:30] They're about to make him go back to the old him. Yeah

[01:07:33] Yeah, I love that picture

[01:07:35] Yeah

[01:07:42] Igor's about to kill this journalist dude and he would deserve it

[01:07:47] Yeah, if you ask me

[01:07:49] Listen, what do you say is between you and me like this guy look at the Russian guy publishing it's saying this listen

[01:07:56] What do you say is between you and me and then they publish that?

[01:08:00] You have a history at this point one night

[01:08:01] You told me for instance once you told me is he got a heads up when the authorities are gonna come to his house

[01:08:05] The night before he told me we get phone calls the night before and eight o'clock the police. Why are you yeah?

[01:08:10] What's the expose? I told me that Igor want me to read the quote?

[01:08:13] Well, you can read whatever you want right now. It's just done you can put yourself in big trouble

[01:08:18] You

[01:08:19] Said he will always do something wrong. There was some nights in question

[01:08:22] It's funny. It's because like if this journalist got murdered for doing this it'd be like he told you

[01:08:30] He told you you're putting yourself in trouble

[01:08:32] Because this isn't a pedophile. This is just a Russian person. Yes

[01:08:36] Which we have you know, which we have all agreed are yeah by their nature sneaky

[01:08:41] I think it's it's really time for

[01:08:43] The West to lose control of the narrative completely. Mm-hmm. You know so you're thinking

[01:08:51] Philosophy Chinese more of like yeah an orthodox, you know, which was still Christian, but Greek Orthodoxy

[01:08:58] I'm ready. Yeah, I'm baptized just sort of like an Eastern Eastern Orthodox authoritarian regime

[01:09:04] The rolls in and kills everyone. Okay, then we all become Russian liars

[01:09:09] Yeah, that's I would I would like that mm-hmm. Yeah

[01:09:15] Greg proves in a prison we keep Greg proves in a prison where he gets to comment on everything but above a dunk tank

[01:09:24] Yeah, corruption

[01:09:26] No, thank you

[01:09:29] Firehose filled with piss hoses

[01:09:31] You think the Russians would beat the Chinese though corruption train

[01:09:38] Yeah, no the Chinese would beat the Russians. I think the Chinese

[01:09:42] Russians is a lazy drunk country. They're chaotic. They're too much chaos. Yeah

[01:09:48] China will like let millions of people die

[01:09:52] Too, but they're not as organized about it. They used to

[01:09:56] You know

[01:09:56] WW2 they did oh no man Russians are dangerous. It's like what if Asians were white

[01:10:04] That's what Patton said

[01:10:10] Damn

[01:10:12] Russian say that themselves. Yeah, that's why Chechens are the fucking worst because it's like it's like what if Asians are white

[01:10:19] What if they were Muslim? Yeah?

[01:10:21] Those motherfuckers are tough. I will say yeah, they're national course MMA

[01:10:26] They love dying. They love being killed by the government

[01:10:32] Damn, dude

[01:10:35] Fuck yeah, this is great

[01:10:37] I'm telling you to give you a chance to remember because we talked about this stuff

[01:10:41] I know it's hard. I don't know what you mean by put myself in trouble. Let that go seriously. Let that go

[01:10:46] Why is it so important? Are you worried about the local cops? Listen? You're really smart and I'm not going to offer that over the phone right now

[01:10:53] Okay, oh my god, you really like you have no idea please

[01:10:57] What do you mean by that? I can't explain you. I can't explain over the phone. Oh my god

[01:11:02] This is fucking wizard Naomi Watts being like but what happened to the baby and Vigo being like you need to drop it

[01:11:10] I'm just driver. You need

[01:11:13] You really need to drop it. I just drive Carter

[01:11:18] That movie is so good. I love that fucking movie, dude

[01:11:21] It's so fucking good

[01:11:23] Said that last time and we didn't talk for years you can tell the world who this guy was you're with him for a long time

[01:11:29] You know what I mean? I totally understand you think he had could have had a help committing suicide

[01:11:34] First of all I have to go right now. I have another client still training people. Yes, but just be careful

[01:11:38] I'm not kidding

[01:11:39] So what's your email so I can send you don't do any kind of that stuff just don't play?

[01:11:45] Seriously, can you tell me why I can't I can't maybe I ask you just one more question

[01:11:50] Just go ahead. Have you been talking with anyone the government the FBI have they come to you long pause?

[01:11:57] Great talking to you

[01:12:04] Yo, honestly fuck this reporter dude. Yeah, he comes up like such a dumb asshole

[01:12:10] Here's from another thing from New York magazine how Moscow Mitch is helping the Democrats

[01:12:16] Oh my fucking god

[01:12:18] What is the point? Why are they calling you Moscow Mitch? I don't know man. The world is so gay

[01:12:23] Epstein owned the painting of Bill Clinton and that was actually pretty funny. I mean so what in the dress?

[01:12:29] It's like it's funny. That's a thing, but it's like normal people look at this like look at that mean there has to be some

[01:12:35] It's like he has sex with children. This was his weird sex friend. They're all fucking children together

[01:12:41] It's like how many how much more do you need? Yeah, they're boys how much more do you need to understand that your

[01:12:50] problematic faith oh that is so true petafile I am so beyond the fact of finding that weird

[01:12:56] Yeah, some people like what do you mean like they would be bizarre if the if you didn't think the president was a pedophile

[01:13:03] Yeah, they're popping a bit like well actually Trump is a pedophile. It's like okay. They're both

[01:13:09] Yeah, yeah, so many of them are pedophiles. Yeah, who was that the other motherfucker?

[01:13:14] Well, but it's like you're the house is a pedophile forever the Republican. Yeah

[01:13:18] Right, but it's like it's like it's like you're living in a world with people that are convinced that Santa Claus is real

[01:13:25] You know and they're like but we left the cookies out

[01:13:30] But isn't it weird that the cookies weren't eaten usually he eats them every year no

[01:13:34] There is no Santa Claus. That's your parents eating right yeah, it's like but there's presents here and it's like yes

[01:13:41] They give you those presents so that you shut up. Yeah

[01:13:46] Like like we left out the children and nobody fucked right

[01:13:50] It's like like we like the level to get to is the one where you're like the world is run by fucked up people

[01:13:56] And there's nothing you can do about it right and they like it's pretty easy to arrive to that point

[01:14:01] But it's like there's so many people that just struggle with the first step of just being like

[01:14:06] Yes, it's fucked. Yeah. Yeah. It's deeply fucked up. Yeah, we're fucked. Yeah fucked. Let's just hope

[01:14:14] That's why we got it. That's why I'm saying man. Let's get the warfare has to be good

[01:14:20] It like it really fucking has to be good because that is what's important

[01:14:24] No, I mean it. It's this whole system set up, you know, it's like the fucking like the matrix or whatever

[01:14:30] Uh-huh where Joey pantley on a right Joey pants, you know and the steak is modern warfare

[01:14:35] Yeah, I'm like I want to be somebody important like an actor, you know, and I don't want to remember nothing

[01:14:41] You understand me nothing and that's what I mean by Luigi's Mansion 3 better be good

[01:14:49] You heard it here folks, I gotta go to the city for what I'm just got his pussy doctor

[01:14:55] I gotta go see my my gynaecologist

[01:14:58] Adam and yeah Adam on all fours and stir up through this asshole out is it like a yena ecologist of its Greek

[01:15:06] Do call that you he does dick and asshole. Oh, that's that's good two and one. Yeah, he does proctology as well. Hmm come see funny moms

[01:15:16] This Monday and next Monday come to fat Tuesdays at the stand every Tuesday the 19th is this Monday

[01:15:23] Funny moms and then the 26 and then see the 29th in LA

[01:15:28] At the larger and then come to the Bay Area. I'm in Oakland on the 24th

[01:15:33] And I'm in Seattle on the 29th in Portland on the 30th come downtown to buy shirts

[01:15:39] And I'm doing Philly on the 21st of September fresh off the plane from Greece and then I'm doing

[01:15:47] Some dates in Indiana, and I'm trying to get Louisville in there

[01:15:50] So I haven't announced that one yet, but I'm hoping but yes buy our shirts come to our shows

[01:15:56] Give for Adam head. Thank you. Bye everyone. Bye