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Bonus 148 - Jizzo

Cum Town | Premium | 08/26/2019

[00:00:00] check check sounds good
[00:00:03] Adams drinking cum that he bought chocolate cum chocolate cum
[00:00:08] oh I bet you do like chocolate cum don't you Adam?
[00:00:11] Cacao it says on the bottom. You know it's not there are different races of people
[00:00:14] but the cum is always the same. Is it?
[00:00:15] Yeah. So how do you make a chocolate then? Smart guy.
[00:00:18] A little bit of bisque, bisque quick.
[00:00:21] Nesque quick. Biscque. Biscque is.
[00:00:23] You make it cum pancakes. Biscque is.
[00:00:25] And it's bad too. Am I going to make nesque pancakes now?
[00:00:29] That would be awesome.
[00:00:32] Damn, should I not go to Boston? Should we just cook?
[00:00:34] Yeah. Yeah.
[00:00:35] Yeah. It just could. They're just brownies. I'm like oh.
[00:00:38] Oh man.
[00:00:40] Oh it's just brownies you cooking a pan?
[00:00:43] Actually. It's made brownies.
[00:00:44] Dude, can we what would happen if you put brownie mix in a pan?
[00:00:48] What?
[00:00:49] We were rereading the little bit.
[00:00:54] It's off you listening to come town.
[00:01:01] Brownies in a pan.
[00:01:03] I want weird how to do black guy but Billy Eilish.
[00:01:09] What's the black guy?
[00:01:11] You know that's my little dick guy.
[00:01:13] Yeah.
[00:01:14] Suck my little dick guy.
[00:01:16] I want to serve you the honky dog.
[00:01:20] Bad guy does the fucking honky dog.
[00:01:25] I believe you're doing it.
[00:01:26] Thank you breaking hard by the right side.
[00:01:28] That's no.
[00:01:29] That's old town road.
[00:01:30] The guy from Old Town Road.
[00:01:32] Yeah.
[00:01:33] From Old Town Road?
[00:01:34] Old Town Road.
[00:01:35] Ha ha.
[00:01:36] Yeah.
[00:01:37] I'm going to go down to Old Town and suck off one of those.
[00:01:41] Did the people ever spend any time in Old Town Gay this work?
[00:01:44] Old Town Gay this is so funny because it's like you know a train station.
[00:01:50] And like you know the fuck like I used to it used to be Growlers.
[00:01:53] I don't know what it is now.
[00:01:54] It's a brewery.
[00:01:55] Oh I forgot about Growlers.
[00:01:56] You ever do Irwin's horrible show at Growlers?
[00:01:59] No but I used to go there for something.
[00:02:03] I dated a girl that loved her either their pretzel or some fucking item they had there.
[00:02:08] Growlers.
[00:02:09] Well it was because that brewery's been there forever and it's been like nine different
[00:02:13] places that it was like the Old Town brewery and then it was Growlers.
[00:02:16] There used to be a sandwich shop called Ray's or Roy's over there that like I loved.
[00:02:22] I'm not as familiar but yeah.
[00:02:23] Well we'll tell you it's like but then you know it's just now all nothing but like Al Salvadorians.
[00:02:30] Yeah.
[00:02:31] You know so it's like this like weird little town filled with like people that have no
[00:02:37] idea what's going on.
[00:02:38] Right.
[00:02:39] Yeah.
[00:02:40] Or how they got there.
[00:02:41] But they're like historic protections on the socks of the buildings.
[00:02:45] Yeah yeah yeah.
[00:02:47] I haven't been there in a while.
[00:02:48] I thought it got like wildly gentrified.
[00:02:50] What Old Town Gaithersburg?
[00:02:51] Yeah Gaithersburg in general.
[00:02:52] No I was kind of the other way around.
[00:02:55] Really?
[00:02:56] Well up and then down I guess.
[00:02:57] Yeah I don't know.
[00:02:58] I feel like I went to an elevation burger.
[00:03:00] You guys ever fucked with those?
[00:03:01] Yeah.
[00:03:02] I went to one of those in Gaithersburg one time.
[00:03:04] Well what they did was the entirety of the county is like all their everything in between
[00:03:09] the towns they just filled in with shit.
[00:03:11] Right.
[00:03:12] So like that's where all the elevation burgers.
[00:03:14] Yeah that's true.
[00:03:15] All strip mall hell strip mall.
[00:03:17] Yeah because there used to be like a distinction between Gaithersburg and Rockville.
[00:03:22] There was like you know nothing in between the two.
[00:03:24] Literally like a farm.
[00:03:26] Yeah it was a farm.
[00:03:28] And then they built Kings Farm which is now like a town in its own right that just sort
[00:03:32] of merged the two together.
[00:03:34] So yeah like 355 all the way up from DC.
[00:03:37] It's like Judge Dred the super cities.
[00:03:39] Yeah yeah all the way up to PA is just all strip malls.
[00:03:42] Yeah.
[00:03:43] I remember that I went to Old Town Ellicott City.
[00:03:46] Oh yeah hell yeah dude.
[00:03:48] With a bunch of my.
[00:03:49] Shout out to Cocoa Lane in the Phoenix.
[00:03:51] Yeah.
[00:03:52] My ex-girlfriend's criminal friends who she had to ask to leave their guns in the car.
[00:03:59] And then they kept telling me that I'm the only white and word that they fuck with.
[00:04:03] Oh but they're Korean.
[00:04:04] But they're Korean.
[00:04:05] They're Korean.
[00:04:06] Stop making it sound like you're cooler than you are.
[00:04:07] No no no they were Asian criminals.
[00:04:10] Yeah well the Asians are scarier.
[00:04:12] They're scarier because they're yeah they're mad.
[00:04:14] They're angrier and they know karate.
[00:04:16] Yeah that is true.
[00:04:18] Yeah.
[00:04:19] Where'd you go in an old old city?
[00:04:21] Yeah no something like some more.
[00:04:22] Jason Statham probably the most famous white martial artist.
[00:04:26] Yeah there is.
[00:04:27] And I know people probably gonna be like well we're about MMA guys.
[00:04:30] Jason Statham is more famous than all of them.
[00:04:32] What about Chuck Norris?
[00:04:33] Chuck Norris was the grandfather of Chuck Norris is gay.
[00:04:37] Jason Statham is the most famous white martial artist.
[00:04:43] He releases a video of him spinning kicking the top off a bottle.
[00:04:46] Everyone's like oh my god.
[00:04:49] And then every Chinese person with a cell phone camera.
[00:04:51] To do it on their first try.
[00:04:53] Immediately duplicates.
[00:04:57] A Chinese baby did it the next day.
[00:05:02] Just a viral video of that Chinese baby drawing rabbits.
[00:05:05] No.
[00:05:06] The Chinese baby and they're just drawing like incredible.
[00:05:08] Incredible.
[00:05:09] It's perfectly.
[00:05:10] What?
[00:05:11] And then like playing the page and doing another one.
[00:05:13] Yeah we're fucked dude.
[00:05:14] I mean the Chinese will overtake us.
[00:05:16] We're not fucked.
[00:05:17] I see it as like a natural biological process.
[00:05:21] That is what evolution is.
[00:05:23] People like think like oh you mean the evolution would be cool.
[00:05:25] It'd be like X-Men where suddenly we have like powers.
[00:05:28] It's like no.
[00:05:29] It's the Chinese killing all the other races.
[00:05:31] That's right.
[00:05:32] That is true.
[00:05:33] I remember Darwin said that shit.
[00:05:35] Literally survival of the fittest.
[00:05:37] That's what it is.
[00:05:38] The Chinese.
[00:05:39] The Chinese.
[00:05:40] They got the coolest clothes.
[00:05:43] That's what it meant.
[00:05:46] Survival of the most fitted.
[00:05:47] Yeah.
[00:05:48] I just did a Hong Kong double feature the other night.
[00:05:51] I saw.
[00:05:52] You sucked off two Chinese guys.
[00:05:53] No.
[00:05:54] No that's not.
[00:05:55] That's not the old Friedlin to Hong Kong double feature.
[00:05:57] I was talking about the old Chinese.
[00:05:59] Yeah.
[00:06:00] No I watched a police story and then I watched hard boiled.
[00:06:08] Hard boiled rocks.
[00:06:09] Hard boiled the criteria in collection.
[00:06:11] Is it?
[00:06:12] Yeah.
[00:06:13] Hard boiled on YouTube.
[00:06:14] Police story one and two.
[00:06:15] I picked it up.
[00:06:16] I got it because I went to Barnes and Noble and they're doing that criteria in sale.
[00:06:19] I was like oh let's see.
[00:06:20] They have police story one and two in the criterion collection.
[00:06:23] 50% of it.
[00:06:24] It's one of the best action movies ever.
[00:06:25] Yeah.
[00:06:26] I haven't seen police story.
[00:06:27] It's fucking insane.
[00:06:28] Oh really good.
[00:06:29] I've seen hard boiled but not police stories.
[00:06:30] We got shit to do after this but we should watch police.
[00:06:32] I love the credit where they show all the bloopers and then they show all of the extras
[00:06:37] and stuntmen just getting carried off in stretchers.
[00:06:40] Jackie J just be like you're gonna be all right.
[00:06:43] The fact that there's still not like a good like Blu ray transfer of both hard boiled
[00:06:51] and the killer is fucking it's a travesty.
[00:06:54] I literally had to watch hard boiled on YouTube was randomly on some like Chinese YouTube channel.
[00:06:57] I got a 720p torrent but.
[00:07:02] No but they looked all right.
[00:07:04] That's the.
[00:07:05] But it was the king.
[00:07:06] 720p is the resolution of like the file.
[00:07:09] Yeah.
[00:07:10] It's not what the transfer is.
[00:07:11] So you're still.
[00:07:12] It's not I don't think it was blue.
[00:07:13] There is a there is a blue there's one there's like a dragon dynasty blue ray.
[00:07:18] Oh that's what I got.
[00:07:19] Yeah I got the dynasty.
[00:07:20] That one shit.
[00:07:21] That's the one I got.
[00:07:23] The the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the
[00:07:27] the
[00:07:29] the old criterion DVD transfer is better than that even though it's dev and not blue ray
[00:07:36] but those are hard to find.
[00:07:37] Yeah, I mean maybe you can find a rip out but it's like devi.
[00:07:40] Dja sucks.
[00:07:41] Yeah.
[00:07:42] Yeah.
[00:07:43] Yeah.
[00:07:44] John was just the fucking best dude yeah the fucking the Birds and the john who any directed
[00:07:48] Ass off. Yeah, yes, we're just gonna draw
[00:07:53] Switch ass which holes which hole
[00:07:57] Volta is just like I think I'll go out and get gay fuck tonight
[00:08:01] No, fucking my ass
[00:08:20] Yup, John Chable or Nicholas Cage just did a pilot holding his asshole open or a masseuse
[00:08:26] That's the best dude that masseuse that said
[00:08:28] Uh, triple to just hold his ass open
[00:08:34] Yeah, I think you're forgetting somewhere kept doing that and he kept just grabbing their dicks during the massage
[00:08:41] Which is so bold honestly now that he's bald. He's gone bald
[00:08:51] When's he gonna go gay now that he's bald I don't think I think Scientology's got that under wraps
[00:08:56] But I know I've been bald for a while. Oh, did you hear that?
[00:09:03] It's so funny admitted it you're one of my friends that I've like
[00:09:06] Like became friends with right as they were like fuck should I shave my head?
[00:09:10] Numerous friends like that where I become friends of them as they're losing their hair. Mm-hmm. It's you dude
[00:09:15] You're the harbinger. Yeah, the harbinger of losing your hair. I think it's because I have nice hair
[00:09:19] Yeah, like they they're like maybe I'll just live vicariously through this man
[00:09:24] No, I mean you looked bad when you were you were drunk as shit
[00:09:28] He looked horrible, but I had great hair you have good hair
[00:09:32] But yeah, you were routinely driving drunk and pulling your penis out on the sidewalk to piss
[00:09:38] Yeah, and all that kind of stuff, but the hair was good. Yeah, that's all that matters to you sleeping in your car
[00:09:46] Yeah, yeah, you had the hair of Uncle Jesse. Yeah, I like a track. I had a natural charisma that attracted
[00:09:52] Yeah, like that people want to surround themselves with success. I
[00:09:59] Got a book at Kingko's 15 habits of highly successful people. Mm-hmm number one you wake up at 1 a.m. Every day
[00:10:08] Every single day you're up at 1 a.m. Number two lists
[00:10:11] My every wall in my house is filled with lists a ranking of things things. I want to people I want to get revenge upon
[00:10:19] Oh, yeah, I have those lists in my head number. I have a secret number number three set deadlines
[00:10:27] Deadlines is a subset of of lists it is so you have a sort of listing time of lists and then deadlines underneath it
[00:10:36] Number four always get revenge
[00:10:41] Yeah, we find a release one of those books the seven tips are highly successful people that would be good
[00:10:47] I'm from the perspective of like a psychopath. Yeah, we should just we should just five murder Vince Foster
[00:10:54] But not Monica Lewinsky
[00:10:57] Why because then people will point at Monica Lewinsky and say well why didn't why wasn't she murdered then obviously
[00:11:04] She can do more damage. Mm-hmm. It's like because it would be too obvious
[00:11:07] You know he'll honor deathbed though murder Vince Foster to prevent the second Monica Lewinsky right right right right
[00:11:14] You don't want to kill the Golden Goose or whatever. Yeah, what information was Vince Foster privy to nothing
[00:11:22] He's just like a lawyer. Yeah. Yeah, he's like White House counsel. He wrote a letter or something
[00:11:28] They said like daddy. He was like yeah bill
[00:11:32] Bill has murdered and raped people like I found that
[00:11:36] Can he wrote that letter? Yeah, he's like a can of good conscience continue representing
[00:11:41] Mm-hmm bill knowing that he's he's raped raped the thousands of women
[00:11:46] Interesting. I didn't know that I
[00:11:49] Don't know he released that kind of information. Just got an email
[00:11:52] I will pay money to have my boyfriend roasted on come town. How much?
[00:11:58] 400,000
[00:12:01] That's a type of roasting that is a roast. Yeah, we're gonna roast getting head by running a train on her live on the pod
[00:12:09] Did honestly nothing will hurt your feelings more. There's no joke
[00:12:15] They'll hurt your feelings more rude than us getting a little dick suck my hope this email finds you well
[00:12:21] My dumbass boyfriend's birthday is coming up on September 4th in the literally warships come town
[00:12:25] Is there any way I can pay you guys to roast him on your podcast for that week?
[00:12:29] Yeah, I'm guessing you probably get a lot of requests like this. No, not really
[00:12:33] Alternatively, no now everyone's gonna email. Yeah, god damn it
[00:12:37] There's any way you could let me know if you're having a show and NYC
[00:12:41] Yeah, well, maybe you should listen to the fucking listen to the show
[00:12:44] Yeah, we fucking bitch first of all and I like that idea. Maybe we should have sex with Julia
[00:12:50] On the show there was a the guy's name a roast a boyfriend
[00:12:55] I fucked those guys from that show over here's a birthday present
[00:13:02] You shouldn't have yeah
[00:13:04] Do you think there is like a level of come town fan that is so much of a fan that they want us to fuck their girlfriend?
[00:13:11] I know that's what you're looking for Adam. No, I'm not looking for that
[00:13:14] You're one of those guys email Adam because no those guys want Nick to fuck their
[00:13:18] They want next to it. Yeah, for sure. But I don't fuck that's they went part of the fan is yeah Nick
[00:13:23] Which is absolutely no expression on his face. Yes. They don't want you to be having a good time
[00:13:27] Dead-eyed you're doing them an honor fucking their girl anything, but contemplate bits. That's right. That's all
[00:13:34] As you should as a principle the platonic ideal of podcasting
[00:13:39] Nothing but bits
[00:13:42] Yeah, I mean, you know I spent the morning just watching commercials from the night. Yeah, we were just texting about commercials. We like right
[00:13:49] That's where it starts
[00:13:51] Say did you just watch all the science and Kirk commercials?
[00:13:55] Uh-huh if you what was it if you have a phone you are a faggot having phones is gay. Yeah, I'm having a phone is gay
[00:14:08] If you have a phone you
[00:14:12] Science and Kirk sites Kirk and miles now man only signs you don't fuck with it
[00:14:18] I remember it blew my mind when miles got in the mix dude because wasn't he on a different wasn't he a different TV lawyer
[00:14:24] I don't remember there was some kind of merging that happened and I was like oh it was like it was like the Avengers
[00:14:31] Remember when Bell Atlantic became variety. Oh my god
[00:14:35] Remember singular hat was a
[00:14:38] Truth they would change they go back and forth. Yeah, they were all the same company was all just Bell
[00:14:43] Yeah, Bell's cooler sounding to yeah
[00:14:46] And by the way time Warner we're not we're not fucking confused because your spectrum now bitch
[00:14:52] That's the first one I got mad at oh
[00:14:55] Tomorrow owner sucks tomorrow. I got the cable guys coming. I'm getting cable nice man
[00:15:00] Welcome brother. Yeah, cuz I realized it's like I've been spending like $80 a month on streaming services
[00:15:06] Curiosity stream stars. Yes. That's what's gonna happen dude. Like the shit that I don't need you just need to find someone's mom's
[00:15:13] Login that's what I do if you have optimum you just put the login into Apple TV exactly use all those
[00:15:19] So that's what I do. I'll just do it that way not give Apple the money and then also
[00:15:23] I get the added benefit of a fucking DVR and then
[00:15:26] Yeah, dude. There's so many services the people are just gonna start getting cable again. Yeah, somebody decides what to watch for me
[00:15:32] I love that dude. There's nothing nicer than just hitting the button and TVs on well. What's realistically gonna happen? I
[00:15:40] Think probably is that Apple is gonna cuz Apple has the money to bank roll like shit
[00:15:46] That Netflix can't compete with they're starting a platform
[00:15:50] Yeah, they're gonna have their own platform and then they're gonna be able to control distribution
[00:15:53] And the only thing that's gonna get in their way is fucking like anti-trust bullshit
[00:15:58] But Apple's gonna like this didn't no one seems to give a fuck about anti-trust shit right now
[00:16:03] Every company's fucking there's like even less companies Disney bought everything. Yeah, this is about the fuck everyone's ass
[00:16:10] They got that 40% of all this put it this way once Apple has their own platform that they're competing
[00:16:16] With Netflix and it's just built into Apple TV true. It's all on your phone already. It's on your
[00:16:23] It's already there and then they have something that operates like
[00:16:27] fucking cable service where there's already pre-programmed shit just playing anyways
[00:16:33] Then that'll like cuz what people want is it is
[00:16:37] Not only streaming on-demand stuff
[00:16:39] But also I think like what I miss personally with cable or with broadcast television
[00:16:45] Is the fact that it's programmed externally means that you're participating in this watching event presumably with other people that are watching it at the same
[00:16:52] Right so despite the fact that you're sitting in your apartment by yourself
[00:16:56] There is some kind of an aid sense of community not community or like a social moment
[00:17:03] You're yeah, you are like participating in something. Yeah, I get that you don't feel as isolated. Yeah, that's what my friends girlfriend said about game
[00:17:10] It's wrong. Yeah
[00:17:12] It's a social movie. Yeah, I mean it's sort of it was like the lat. Yeah, everyone was watching it literally everyone
[00:17:19] You had to watch it live. Yeah, it was just fun to make it and sports is
[00:17:23] Turned it into her saying that it was like the civil rights movement. She did say that she did she yeah
[00:17:28] She said like people will remember when they were alive during the 60s during civil rights
[00:17:32] Just like they'll remember when they were alive during game
[00:17:34] With
[00:17:39] Yeah, what does that mean people remember when they
[00:17:42] That's the same girlfriend that like we were called the remembering everybody remembers. Yeah, I love her. You remember where you were during line 11
[00:17:49] Yeah in school. That's where I was every day at that point in my life. Yeah, I was in French glass
[00:17:54] She also tried to put on the Hamilton soundtrack while we're all chilling
[00:17:59] And we're all like no no wait my
[00:18:01] My friend did that she tried to put on like the the rap CD
[00:18:10] Before I knew what I was with my ex girlfriend and her friends and they were like you got you got to hear this hamlet it's hip-hop
[00:18:16] It's rap, but it's real hip-hop or Hamilton and I'm like is this for babies. Yeah, is this cool?
[00:18:22] It's a kid's like what a gas teacher plays I know right exactly. Yeah, you know what I mean? I was a like you a substitute
[00:18:27] Why are you listening you know white teacher trying to fucking reach out to black kids?
[00:18:33] They hate him. You know the coolest emcee of all time was Bill Shakespeare
[00:18:39] Oh, yeah, the poster was Shakespeare with the sunglasses. Yeah
[00:18:43] Yes, like my dick. I'm not gonna fucking learn. How about you let us get pussy in the classroom now?
[00:18:48] Cool. How about you put some sunglasses on my dick and my balls?
[00:18:52] I want double layer sunglasses on my dick and balls
[00:18:56] I want them getting suffering down on top of my dick like the deal with the dog well
[00:19:01] I get my dick in science class that then I'll learn about covalent bonds you dumb bitch excuse me mr.
[00:19:09] Garrity, how about we measure my dick in Stacy's ass
[00:19:14] Yes, that makes sense to me you you measure each girl's pussy
[00:19:17] Mm-hmm, and then you dip your dick in each pussy, and that's how you know how big your dick is
[00:19:22] Oh, Mr. Garrity come to the principal's office immediately
[00:19:26] One of the parents said that your this is just a cool joke, right?
[00:19:30] You're not actually letting the kids measure their dicks and the girls suppose these are you I was trying to be cool
[00:19:36] You said sit I gotta reach these inner city youth somehow I spent nine hundred dollars on kangol hats last year
[00:19:43] and it did nothing
[00:19:45] And they said you said let define the way to reach these kids, and I said letting them get the get wet
[00:19:52] Gail get their dicks wet in class. I figured just standing deliver
[00:20:01] And you want to change your life maybe you should get some pussy while doing man
[00:20:09] Honestly, I would have learned so much if it was like you will get ahead if you were if it's like Veronica Vaughn
[00:20:15] Taking off one piece of clothing no not really because I could have just jacked off
[00:20:19] But if they were like memorize a fucking entire chapter of this book you have to get the answers right to have her take her clothes off
[00:20:27] But I don't care about seeing titties at him. I can see titties today. We're gonna fuck about the good when you're ten years old
[00:20:33] You could see titties well yes, but not ten. We're talking like 13. We're gonna learn about the gooey breastable system
[00:20:40] We're gonna all hold down Erica and we're gonna not on her big pre-developed tits
[00:20:48] Know about the holding down well. Oh no that was an essential part of oh really
[00:20:54] Or not they are not on board with oh I thought they were on board it was all consensual no no no no
[00:21:00] Oh, I see this is a fella's a geared towards the fella yeah guys rules
[00:21:06] So how would the women learn well look I guess someone filed a title nine complaint so we have to burn the school down
[00:21:13] Because we found out what was happening in mr. Garrity's class
[00:21:19] Damn what well then how are we gonna teach young girls man? Oh the guy don't learn shit
[00:21:24] They just want to do stem that's all they care about is stem. I don't even know what that is
[00:21:29] Science tech was a baking
[00:21:31] Yeah engineering yeah and marbled cakes yeah in the Marvel cinematic you know marbled cakes
[00:21:42] You've had a nice marbled cake atom of course sweets treats edibles and marmalades
[00:21:50] And it's baking for girls
[00:21:53] It's it. Why don't we get it? We're gonna put more girls in the kitchen workforce
[00:21:57] That's true instead of taking women out of the kitchen. Let's just turn the kitchen into a job
[00:22:03] Smart yeah for too long fat Brazilians with armed tattoos and cool hair have become chefs yeah
[00:22:10] We used to be here yes chef now we got to get the bitches back in the kitchen baby bitches back in the kitchen
[00:22:18] There aren't too many cool chefs now man
[00:22:20] I don't like it. It is funny that like you know get in the kitchen is something you say to humiliate a woman or whatever by implying that women play this like
[00:22:30] Subservient domestic role or whatever, but then you see the women that are actually in the kitchen and they're the most like bull dyke man hating
[00:22:39] The women that literally choose to stay in the kitchen. Yeah midwest. Yeah my name's
[00:22:45] Sharon yeah, and
[00:22:47] Yeah, it's a job you got crew cuts
[00:22:51] It's the N word
[00:22:54] Taking it back basically. I'm attracted to other women that look like the guy from Smash Mouth
[00:23:00] And we just have weird blocky sex with each other
[00:23:04] Yeah, we just grind like two Lego men
[00:23:08] connected at the butt
[00:23:10] Before we go back to work our kids we put on our non-slip shoes
[00:23:14] Just ram our refrigerator sized asses
[00:23:20] Damn dude, yeah, it looks like it looks like two hippos fanning shit all over each other
[00:23:27] So they're shitting in each other's pussies. Yeah something like that. Okay. I don't really know anything about sex
[00:23:33] I've never even heard of it. Oh
[00:23:35] Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, I've never even heard of such a thing. You've heard of it. Yeah, huh?
[00:23:41] From other guys never heard of such when they describe the thing there about the duty you
[00:23:46] They told you about the stuff they did to you already
[00:23:50] Yeah, that's true. No
[00:23:53] Nope actually, yes, I just checked. Yes
[00:23:58] Adam do you how are your numbers coming up?
[00:24:00] Are you checking in on the thing we're talking about with Nick?
[00:24:06] 100 100 right yeah, so are mine. Yeah mine coming up 102
[00:24:11] That's the reading that guys are having sex with him and telling him about it later
[00:24:16] 100 one hun skis
[00:24:20] Fuck dude
[00:24:22] Do you guys know bicroom yoga was just some guy named fucking bickroom? Yeah, who's horny any raped you yeah?
[00:24:28] Yeah, it's fucked up. I thought it was some ancient Indian shit. No
[00:24:35] 140 degrees
[00:24:37] Lucy's why don't you stick the temperature more?
[00:24:41] It's just a soul cycle
[00:24:44] Like sir, do you have a membership I know I
[00:24:50] Was looking for the bathroom
[00:24:55] But maybe we make it maybe it's a little warm. Maybe we make a daughter for the baby girls
[00:25:02] In the class
[00:25:03] Yeah, my man just bathing in titty sweat. I didn't know that yeah
[00:25:07] Yeah, it's some guy that created like 10 years ago or something
[00:25:11] And it looks like M night Shyamalan a little bit
[00:25:15] I don't know where M nights from Philly
[00:25:18] India the way his ethnic is it is he Indian? Yeah, probably is that with Shyamalan? Yeah sounds like it
[00:25:26] It's soft and it could be anywhere man Shyamalan south. It's southern Hindu
[00:25:31] Southern India
[00:25:33] You know how this you know South Beach. Oh, yeah, mm-hmm if you
[00:25:39] Commit right bona crowded bus and Twitter really sucks now
[00:25:44] Yeah, it's like it just keeps getting worse in the same way
[00:25:48] Lot of arguments. It's nothing but arguments. What arguments?
[00:25:54] Yeah, but on the plus size people were talking about Susan Sarandon and
[00:25:59] It made me look up her titties and I got a say man
[00:26:01] I look him up on the daily every every couple weeks man
[00:26:05] Everyone should check back in on how awesome Susan Sarandon's titty got some jumbo young
[00:26:09] Big up six Susan Sarandon for Mary and Chris Sarandon taking his name and then becoming like a million times more famous
[00:26:15] Oh, really? Who's Chris Sarandon? I don't even fucking know he was in Fright night and
[00:26:20] Damn the voice of Jack Skellington in nightmare before really yeah
[00:26:25] It could be easy to get married again, right? It's easy to confuse with Michael Norrie
[00:26:31] Who is similarly just some guy?
[00:26:33] I don't know who Michael Norrie is you know why you maybe you wouldn't recognize me if you saw him
[00:26:40] She never got married to Tim Robbins, right? There was this common law. I don't know. I guess not
[00:26:45] She's dating some ping pong guy right now. Yeah, she loves ping pong. Well, he owns a ping pong
[00:26:51] Business I look up on whether or not she's single I feel I'm guys are age I am going to fuck her. That's my worry
[00:27:01] Is it good television he looks familiar to me sort of and then this is Chris Sarandon. What was Michael Norrie in?
[00:27:08] I think I've seen him in something
[00:27:11] You've probably seen him in watershed and then here's Chris Sarandon. Let me have a younger picture of him
[00:27:17] That's Chris Sarandon. I have no idea who that man is
[00:27:20] He looks the same. He looks kind of like a fucked up Michael Imperial. He looks like a fucked up Tony Danza. Yeah, he does actually
[00:27:28] Damn
[00:27:29] And he got those he got Susan Sarandon Sarandon's titties right at the ripest of all eight although I must say they're ageless
[00:27:37] They look incredible to this day
[00:27:41] So salute to her and whatever
[00:27:44] God blessed her with
[00:27:46] We should be studying her titties for science
[00:27:48] To know how to make titties in a lab
[00:27:51] Why do you get on your phone when I'm
[00:27:54] It's always right when I look something up Chris Sarandon you can do what I'm looking up
[00:28:00] But you always pull something up on your phone then you just show it to stop and say I'm not allowed to look at it
[00:28:05] Because you're not allowed to look at it, but then I have to look at it myself
[00:28:09] No, no
[00:28:10] Because then you know then you have to go let me see I just want it to be fair and then I know let's not show it
[00:28:16] Yeah, exactly Adam you just
[00:28:22] Obviously it still works. Otherwise you wouldn't be crying
[00:28:26] If you could see the for the fans at home he's tearing up
[00:28:29] He's crying
[00:28:30] There's three tears on his right here
[00:28:32] Friends house and he's like I you want to play video games and he's like oh, it's a one-player game
[00:28:36] And then you just fucking sit there and never happened to me because all my friends respected me
[00:28:41] No
[00:28:42] My friends were like, oh, I died too fast. Give me another turn
[00:28:45] You need to stand up for yourself Adam. I would send then we'd get into a physical altercation and they would fuck you up
[00:28:51] No, I would I won some fights. I was kind of bigger from from my age at a younger age. No early elementary
[00:28:58] I was no, this is another case of you thinking you're good at something and then it's proven
[00:29:03] It's not me thinking I'm good at something it's just saying a fact about growth
[00:29:06] Dude you having a rude awakening height percentiles Adam Adam Adam's mental images of fourth grader was that he was six two
[00:29:15] Don't let me out of it
[00:29:18] You know, it's interesting. I was actually the coolest kid in school
[00:29:22] And then it was only later when I was brutally ripped away from my my fake reality
[00:29:28] I
[00:29:33] Never said that that's that's but you said you stopped growing
[00:29:37] I didn't get a lot of pussy. I did get a lot of pussy in like kindergarten first grade
[00:29:41] Yeah, like like fake sex showing penis and vagina and stuff
[00:29:46] Oh, it was like really. Yeah, it was kind of a little graph. Did you remember lasting children? No like a girl
[00:29:52] Like I really sexually show each other our privates and stuff my girlfriend and kindergarten
[00:29:56] Did you ever touch her pussy? I don't know if I touched it. I think we would cut kiss each other's butts
[00:30:02] Each other's butts. Yeah, yeah, it should be like because you're because each other's like butt cheeks. Nice. We thought that's what adults
[00:30:08] No, we're sexualized molested childhood Adam. No, you're just covering your body Nick
[00:30:14] I never did that Adam. I never kissed anyone's but I'll say that Adam got the sweet taste of child
[00:30:21] Child ass. Oh, no, I can't stop thinking
[00:30:23] No, that's not it's been 29 years and he's still he's still thinking I've had to reread Lolita
[00:30:30] I haven't read it forever, but it's so good. That's that's how he justifies. I'm reading. I'm reading blood meridian right now
[00:30:36] I just started. Why are you changing the subject?
[00:30:39] It's interesting because you brought it up
[00:30:41] Many times I've very very very very interesting very interesting
[00:30:45] I wish I could just say no, I will say I could sit in while you go to fight interesting how quickly
[00:30:53] Say all this to your therapist. I have my own notepad
[00:30:57] I'm sitting there. What do you have down? Oh, okay
[00:31:00] Yeah, I've written down something similar. This is all very interesting to me. We'll talk about it later. We don't take notes. He doesn't take notes
[00:31:08] We just pass
[00:31:11] We shoot the shit
[00:31:13] He's a little button next to his share that he's pressing and there's a secretary listening in taking furious
[00:31:23] I'm fucking secrets stenographer in the fucking closet
[00:31:27] getting everything down
[00:31:30] And you to see what goes in the act or not
[00:31:33] I was walking out. He's like wow
[00:31:35] Thanks that guy just gets me for some reason and there's a sign that says therapist for pedophiles
[00:31:40] On the building. Why are you accusing me? He didn't notice
[00:31:45] That he's not accusing you that I'm not accusing you. He's saying that's what it is. That's not quite an accusation
[00:31:52] I'm painting an image
[00:31:54] In a very Gary Larson fashion. I'm using you as a prop for who's Gary Larson. He's you work
[00:32:00] I don't know who that is the far side comics. Oh
[00:32:04] Nice
[00:32:06] Anyway, so is that the last child's ass you you kissed at him
[00:32:11] Yeah, I didn't get any pussy until I was 18 after that basically nice
[00:32:15] So you were a big strong boy up until fourth grade
[00:32:19] Yeah, it's like maybe second or third grade
[00:32:22] You're funny. Everyone started growing. Yeah
[00:32:26] Interesting what video games you really came late
[00:32:30] You know super Mario
[00:32:32] I
[00:32:34] Donky Kong country
[00:32:37] You know, I such dick at level video games
[00:32:40] Really? That's what I played my mobile video game. I got played sports games
[00:32:44] But what do you mean level?
[00:32:46] Shit where there were levels you had to win
[00:32:50] Mario
[00:32:52] Donkey Kong, I don't think that's the name of it, but I know where you're saying you know what I'm saying level games, dude
[00:32:57] I
[00:32:59] Only got to like the second level of the Lion King video game
[00:33:03] But I played the first level every day
[00:33:06] Like do you remember turtles in time then Ninja Turtles game the only game I really almost beat was the power Rangers game
[00:33:13] Remember where they would give you codes suck my fucking penis
[00:33:33] What are you boys watching in there power Rangers?
[00:33:37] Okay, suck my fucking penis
[00:33:46] Robot dinosaur just forcing a monster to blow it
[00:33:55] Damn what's up with Rita repulse or whatever the fuck I'm trying to get head from her she turns power Rangers will titty
[00:34:01] Fuck me or I will destroy them
[00:34:04] I think I watched a pornography where someone was like that a power Rangers porn. Yeah, I think
[00:34:12] No, she would put this you make that regular monster fucker and then she would cast that big enough cast that spell to make him large and rip her in half
[00:34:21] She was like, what was she like Filipino?
[00:34:24] Yeah, she's yeah, I remember that was a real as a very small youth a a sexual awakening for me in terms of
[00:34:31] Maybe wanting to be dominated by an Asian rude lady
[00:34:36] Rita repulsed and I've I don't think I've only fucked two Asian women. Oh
[00:34:42] I know no one asked you Adam. We didn't really like power Rangers
[00:34:47] But I like that all the money was going to Israel
[00:34:51] Your parents made you watch every TV in your house was just tuned to power Rangers all the time
[00:34:56] I am Sibon gives a lot of she's probably Japanese right because you came from the original she probably was did she yeah
[00:35:04] The original show the original show that the power Rangers were pedophiles
[00:35:08] In Japan then what is right all the fight scenes were from the original show, right? Yes
[00:35:14] Now I'm trying to look her up. Well, it's funny too. It's because in Japan
[00:35:18] like power Rangers that was like
[00:35:20] 19 different show they had so many shows where the premise was there's those guys and then they have like a Mac
[00:35:27] Yeah, they had they imported spider-man
[00:35:31] And then spider-man looked like one of them and then for some reason he gave him a
[00:35:37] Yeah, it's like there was there wasn't enough of spider-man as it is you felt you needed to add
[00:35:44] He's got a zord
[00:35:46] Oh
[00:35:49] Her name was machiko so go yeah definitely Japanese
[00:35:53] And I would smash even outs, but it would have to I would really want the headpiece
[00:36:00] She had some curls which I like in her normal life
[00:36:05] Oh shit
[00:36:08] Dude, there's there's some Japanese shit where she fights
[00:36:11] Rita's got like a fucking warrior suit on
[00:36:13] Damn that's so cool. She gets gangbanged by all the puddies now. Let's yeah
[00:36:24] Show a jat adapted stock footage from the Japanese tv series
[00:36:29] Kure you sentes a ranger bad news read a machiko so good nude returns no results
[00:36:36] Well, just look up any Japanese
[00:36:52] Hold on power ranges porn I just want to see someone in the suit
[00:36:58] Oh, these are two people in suits fucking but I want you don't see cock they just pull their cocks out
[00:37:03] Do you jack off to parody porn you just watch it out of fascination
[00:37:09] I think I jacked off to nailing paling. Yes, I absolutely jacked off to nailing most of them
[00:37:15] I just kind of want to see what they're all about and laugh a little bit. Yeah, and then jack off to something good
[00:37:20] Exactly. That's the appetizer. Yeah, I think I started to jack I jacked my dick a couple strokes to
[00:37:27] I think there was a sponge bob one because the lady that's played
[00:37:30] Sandy was hot. I think skin diamond was the was the woman
[00:37:37] And then I went and looked up five other warriors from an ancient civilization of dinosaur evolved humans are awakened during the present day after
[00:37:46] 170 million years of suspended animation when there's sworn enemy bandora the witch
[00:37:51] Bandora, that's a cooler name than yeah, it's inadvertently
[00:37:55] Released for our magical container on planet nemesis by two astronauts
[00:38:01] The five warriors the ziau rangers must summon the power of mechanical looking deities known as guardian beasts
[00:38:08] Each model after a different prehistoric beasts in order to protect man. So that's pretty much the same show I guess
[00:38:15] Except in the american version
[00:38:17] That they had to change it so that their modern day teens because americans can't consume media without thinking they could possibly be the hero
[00:38:25] That I could I could potentially be summoned by a bong with a face
[00:38:30] Yeah
[00:38:31] Go off nik drive a mech that's pc culture for Japanese instead
[00:38:35] Just in there and and live their lives be content with themselves and understand that they are not these people
[00:38:42] They will never be they will never achieve anything but be a cog in the machine and they're happy to be a car happy to be
[00:38:47] They know their place in society exactly. Where's every dumb asshole in america. Yeah, we all think we're Spanish
[00:38:53] Well very much so you Adam. That's a you kind of thing just a little boy molesting other children
[00:38:59] Imagining it's just an exploration imagining himself having
[00:39:05] Well, I was imagining myself in one day. I will have sex with all of them
[00:39:09] And that sorry even zach ninjas. How about this one ninjas centi kaku ranger
[00:39:16] That cocky ranger. Yeah, I like that one better
[00:39:21] Suck my little car
[00:39:23] No, all of the yeah, look so oh japan had like a million shows like this. Yeah
[00:39:28] And it just happened to catch that one just happened it was all karate shit mixed with like
[00:39:32] Transformers. Yeah, but their ninja dress like power Rangers and then they have a fucking zore
[00:39:39] And then 70s japan was like oh, yeah, this is the show
[00:39:43] Just make that over and over again. No, hey, don't fuck with a winning formula
[00:39:50] Suck my little penis. I am fucking gay my dick is small
[00:39:55] I mean how much did that rip when the fucking solo came on? Yeah
[00:40:06] I remember getting so fucking amped as a child dude who and then getting even more amped when the dunkaroos commercial came on
[00:40:12] Yeah, that one was good where they do the different kinds of ways they dunk
[00:40:18] Hell yeah
[00:40:20] That you know what really fucking pissed me off though was cookie crisp because their commercials were good as fuck
[00:40:24] Kookie Chris and then when I got cookie crisp cereal
[00:40:28] Fucking suck dick what
[00:40:31] It was
[00:40:33] But it wasn't really cookies man
[00:40:34] They're a little cookies no they fucking weren't with any were there any fucking chocolate chips or was it just fucking food guy
[00:40:40] That wasn't real chocolate man. It wasn't no you fucking I don't remember cookie crisps enough. I'm sorry
[00:40:48] Apology accepted
[00:40:50] Apology accepted but it's fucked up now. Let me look up porn power rangers and kind of take a look at what we got
[00:41:01] Oh shit
[00:41:05] What this is so funny so this is a
[00:41:07] Wikipedia article on the guy that wrote the power interest theme
[00:41:11] Yeah, some musicians all of his compositions for the mighty morphine power rangers in series and various other sub-on productions were credited to
[00:41:17] Shuki Levy and kusa
[00:41:20] Maki haem saban
[00:41:22] This was so that the pair could collect royalties for washerman's work
[00:41:26] Incredible yeah while we're here on the show
[00:41:28] saban asked washerman to come up with an artist name as they did not want to appear as though one person was doing all of the music
[00:41:34] That's insane
[00:41:36] We're gonna take all of your money, but we also don't want anyone figuring out that it's you
[00:41:40] My friends uncle did put him to make sure that you're not poached and you don't get work elsewhere
[00:41:47] We're gonna take all the credit, but also you have to come up with the names and no one knows how to find you
[00:41:53] You will get absolutely nothing out of your hard work
[00:41:55] You will get nothing not money or the ability to parlay it into future work
[00:41:59] And then your work which transcends the medium will not be rewarded to you us. We'll get it but
[00:42:06] For doing nothing by the way for being richer than you is the reason we get everything yeah
[00:42:12] Damn
[00:42:14] Everyone keep not buying soda streams fuck haem saban
[00:42:18] Bds baby. Yeah big dick syndrome
[00:42:22] Yeah, yeah, well if you want to do BDS, maybe you shouldn't breathe air. Did you know air was invented in Israel?
[00:42:30] Maybe you shouldn't oh nice pants. Did you know the Jews invented what?
[00:42:34] Yes, you can't tell you couldn't see their little ass dicks. Yeah, I love that shit
[00:42:39] What you use invented SMS technology
[00:42:41] Like they do that's one of the things like oh BDS you might as well get rid of your cell phone
[00:42:46] Because cell phones would they have those in Israel?
[00:42:49] You can't use computers because the Pentium chips were made in Israel. That's so
[00:42:55] That's a I mean, that's like the classic that's not what BDS like specific products. Right. Yeah, you don't buy Sabra
[00:43:03] I don't look at that. Just listen to the part about the Pentium thing
[00:43:07] What else Sabra so extreme. Yeah, it's like companies that have shit set up and like occupied. You know that makes sense
[00:43:14] Damn Sabra is the best mass hummus. That's the problem. You can make your own better hummus very easily
[00:43:19] Yeah, but it's hard work get a food processor or use the fucking Vitamix. I use the Vitamix
[00:43:24] I made it a couple weeks ago, but tell me it's not easier to buy it at a store
[00:43:28] It's no it's that may be easier, but you can make better hummus very easily at home
[00:43:32] It's not worth the juice ain't worth the squeeze brother
[00:43:37] Takes like fucking 30 minutes to make hummus
[00:43:40] You're out of your mind
[00:43:42] You can't a garbanzo beans throw it in there a little bit of tahini some lemon some lemon sour cream in it
[00:43:49] It was dang. No
[00:43:51] First of all, if you really want to make it good, you got to peel every garbanzo individually
[00:43:55] No, you get a from a coil you're gonna make it creamy just get a can of fucking chick. He does not only is it fat
[00:44:01] It's very Greek
[00:44:04] Has the statement goes that's how you make good that you for real
[00:44:08] Just the Zorbum music you got a fucking peel of each individually and making creamy stop like wearing a bunch of bracelet saying
[00:44:16] I do want bracelets. Honestly, I think I'm gonna get a bracelet like yeah
[00:44:20] like the same amount of bracelets that like
[00:44:22] Middle-aged hair and makeup with it
[00:44:27] What are we doing today just hey
[00:44:33] What are you a slave
[00:44:35] People has changed I've heard I've heard that that's how you make good ass hummus
[00:44:43] Alan Resnick said his father make peels each individual
[00:44:47] Bean you have to cook them though, right? No
[00:44:49] You get canned
[00:44:52] Each individual being you peel oh you peel the outer part exactly you could just put it in the food processor
[00:44:58] But the fucking the skin the skin fucks up the consistency man
[00:45:04] Oh
[00:45:06] I'm gonna make a peeled hummus just to show you fucking rubes what it's really like all right and it won't need any fucking
[00:45:12] Fucking enhancers like sour cream. No shit. It tastes better with sour cream or whatever you put yeah, no, I just stick with the basics
[00:45:18] It's a heany
[00:45:20] Garbanzo beans a little bit of chili powder a little bit. Yeah a little bit of that a little bit of lemon. What about cumin? No
[00:45:29] No
[00:45:32] No fuck you guys you're listening to a gay SMR podcast
[00:45:42] Oh boy
[00:45:44] If you guys are but a sump suck Francisco Jerry's remember that the radio spots no for Jerry's subs and pizza no I
[00:45:57] Didn't listen to radio until late in life
[00:46:00] Come on
[00:46:02] How is that possible? I didn't really listen to radio except my mom will listen NPR sometimes that's radio
[00:46:08] Yeah, but they didn't have Jerry subs and pizza on NPR. Yeah, you wouldn't listen you wouldn't listen
[00:46:12] I listen to HFS in high school as a child you never had the instinct to like press the button to change the channel ever I
[00:46:20] Don't think we really bumped radio like that in my home, dude. Are you mean in the car?
[00:46:25] Yeah car any car we always had Greek tapes blaring. Yeah, I feel like the radio was on always
[00:46:31] Yeah
[00:46:33] Always the radio is I still see a lot of Jim Rome with my dad
[00:46:36] Not dude I miss yeah, I don't remember my parents really watching TV
[00:46:42] But they were both just they would always have they would always have the fucking radio
[00:46:45] Now we crank that fucking televisio, baby a lot of prayer home companion. I'd be like this shit's boring prayer home companion sucks dick
[00:46:54] I don't understand even what the point is well didn't they they like it's because midwestern people think they should control the culture
[00:47:01] We're not even in the middle of the country. Yeah, it's boring. Yeah, no that's who likes very own companion is snob midwesterners
[00:47:10] And like impure like mob midwestern although NPR people I guess I'm insulting that fucking Simpson's episode where they make fun of
[00:47:18] Hurry home companion is so god
[00:47:20] Remember that one I don't remember that one where it comes on or whatever
[00:47:24] It's fucking garrison keeler and they're like well
[00:47:28] I gotta just fucking get your son keeler like they said he raped. Yeah. Yeah, you got me to
[00:47:33] For what what do you do? Well, he put someone to sleep with his show
[00:47:41] I have to make a show so boring that I'll be able to molest
[00:47:45] Well, sir, it has been an uneventful week and badger falls where the women are robust the men are pink cheeked and
[00:47:54] The children are pink cheeked and robust
[00:48:07] Smiles are free you don't you know
[00:48:09] It's been inquest studied the menu and finally he ordered the same thing as every day
[00:48:26] Well, sir, I think it is time to turn this place drive over to Troy McClure. I can't keep up this pace forever
[00:48:33] I am Troy McClure you might
[00:48:40] Get hell is everybody laughing who the hell's so funny literally just saying your shit sucks
[00:48:49] Cutting it back through three times to flame it remember that defending the caveman shit
[00:48:55] No, it was funnier than garrison keeler, but that was the same kind of just garbage. I don't at all
[00:49:00] Who's that it was a guy that would do
[00:49:04] It's a play oh
[00:49:07] Rob Becker, but it was like suck my dick
[00:49:11] It's some like gender bullshit, you know, or he goes on stay. I let me find quotes from it
[00:49:17] But it sounds like bullshit. It sucks. Sounds like when like stand-ups do like a one-man play a blend of stand-up comedy lecture
[00:49:24] Boom and therapy suck my fucking dick and attempts to resolve the war between the sexes
[00:49:32] Stand up from the male viewpoint while still being sympathetic to the female side of issues as well
[00:49:37] That shit is gay Becker describes the plays of vehicle bird showing that men have emotions, but they express them differently. Oh
[00:49:44] My fucking god. He made a one-man shot of women be like yeah, men be like women be like
[00:49:51] I guess that those are those guys are so much funnier than anything
[00:49:55] This assholes ever done. I mean, that's what it is. It's like
[00:50:00] It's NPR Def Jam
[00:50:03] And without any of the charisma or fucking stage presence
[00:50:09] I would evolve with different instincts
[00:50:12] Right the hunter. Okay. Think of the hunter like this
[00:50:15] The hunter is somebody who will concentrate on his prey
[00:50:21] To the exclusion of everything else in the whole wide world until it is dead
[00:50:29] Right men are great at that
[00:50:31] Shut up. Yeah, it does have some drawbacks
[00:50:36] And that is why a guy has to turn the radio down when he gets lost
[00:50:39] He has the exact same mannerisms as Tom Myers he yeah
[00:50:48] They're the same guy brutal. Yeah, he's Tom without the beauty of Schizophrenia
[00:50:58] Nice dude, that was like I read the paper
[00:51:02] Heria will try and talk to me
[00:51:04] Because I mean she knows that she can read a paper and talk to me at the same time
[00:51:10] Yeah, must be nice. I have to put my finger down
[00:51:23] What the hell is everybody
[00:51:26] The premises men have to put the finger down when they're reading the newspaper which I don't that I've never done that in my life
[00:51:33] And then you know the audience is filled with guys are like, oh, yeah, I do that. Yeah
[00:51:37] I'm not gay
[00:51:41] That was successful you know, I used to hear radio ads for it all the time
[00:51:45] They're like defending the caveman and fucking you know, whatever the man Jesus Christ. Yeah, I cannot believe that
[00:51:52] Bullshit. Yeah, if that it listen if you're out there suck my fucking dick a guy who wrote that shit
[00:51:58] Yeah, defend these nuts actually wait wait don't tell me is also brutal. Oh, yeah, that shit every socks
[00:52:04] It's so bad
[00:52:06] Every joke I was in a cab one time and a guy was listening to it. I was like can you turn this off?
[00:52:11] I hate it. It's the easiest questions in the world. Yeah, and every single joke just murders. I know I
[00:52:20] Know dude, Paula pound stones on that bitch all the time. I
[00:52:23] Fuck with her you fucked you fuck with her. You fuck her. I
[00:52:27] Fuck her. Didn't you molest a kid? Yeah, some like that. I don't know if she molested or she drove drunk with kids in the car
[00:52:35] That's being apparent. Would you rather molest a kid or drive drunk?
[00:52:42] I guess so yeah, I guess it would have to be drive drunk. Would you rather
[00:52:48] I
[00:52:51] Great one damn that's one that even caught me off guard for our fucking stupid. It was about wait wait don't fuck me
[00:53:00] Oh
[00:53:01] And if you're lucky you will have the voice of that old guy
[00:53:05] Call you and have phone sex with you. Yeah, any comedy that's meant for people that are
[00:53:13] That it all sucks. Yeah, I really bad if you went to school
[00:53:17] Stop trying to have a good time. Yeah, do you do it on Twitter?
[00:53:20] But the NPR like Jeffrey Epstein article after the suicide
[00:53:24] the
[00:53:26] Allegiance suicide had like the last paragraph was like if you're struggling with depression
[00:53:33] They had to do it
[00:53:36] Is like the prime NPR listener?
[00:53:39] Richard older guy
[00:53:42] Democrat. Yeah, you know
[00:53:44] Philanthropist yes
[00:53:48] Fucking over the generation below him to a self extent that they'll never recover. Yeah, you know the planet will never find private island
[00:53:57] Yeah, destroying the environment. Yeah, you know
[00:54:01] But wearing fucking
[00:54:03] You know hounds tooth and yeah, he had and hornroom glass for sure
[00:54:08] That video of him in the in the Canada Goose jacket someone posted immaculate trip
[00:54:16] Yeah, he'd too much sauce. He did have a lot of sauce
[00:54:20] But RIP where's we talked about it at last that but if they found just lane
[00:54:26] No that picture in the Daily Mail is fake. Yeah, and to the extent that it's like
[00:54:31] Once you see the original pictures that went out before they bold them. That's like oh, this is ridiculous
[00:54:36] Her lawyers submitted the pictures
[00:54:40] Really yeah, oh they planted it they planted because the day before they said she was in Boston
[00:54:46] To throw people off the scent
[00:54:49] Manchester by the pee
[00:54:51] It did make me want to see the movie good boys. Yeah looks like those boys are having a lot of fun
[00:54:56] So they call Quincy Manchester by the pee
[00:54:58] Oh, yeah, you hear that fucking piece of shit and see
[00:55:06] I'm about to go to North and over. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you get some Boston punani
[00:55:13] No, my cousin's like a boss thing about myself the other day where you just list people like yeah, I used to think
[00:55:19] You think that Jerry Seinfeld guy was a faggot. I found out he was nice from Quincy
[00:55:25] I'm just doing everybody
[00:55:32] Yeah, I used to I used to think
[00:55:35] Who was
[00:55:37] Hey, cuz it's not funny most of the time, but then you'll land on somebody
[00:55:42] Wait, yeah, I used to think that Joe Azuzu guy was a faggot, but till I found out he was he's actually from Quincy
[00:55:48] That literally would make such a difference to people
[00:55:55] I love Boston
[00:55:57] But you do it with absolutely everybody everybody that's named is like, you know, oh, yeah
[00:56:03] Yeah, I used to think Kelsey grandma was kind of a faggot. So I thought you know, he's actually
[00:56:08] He's a salty guy
[00:56:11] Yeah, he's folks from Quincy
[00:56:13] That's good because his name is perfect in a Boston accent. Yeah, Kelsey grandma. Grama grandma
[00:56:21] Kelsey grandma. Yeah grandma
[00:56:24] The Gran Buddha past hotel. Do you want to go see the Gran Buddha past hotel?
[00:56:29] I used to think that movie sucked until I found out it happened to it. I'm doing it. Yeah, it's actually takes place in Quincy
[00:56:38] That's why they can keep repeating it. It just gets fun
[00:56:41] I
[00:56:44] I
[00:56:51] Old pal yeah, so my actually from Quincy
[00:56:56] Thought that cruising Joe list guy was a faggot turns out he's from softballs
[00:57:05] I guess I guess all that stuff he says is a joke
[00:57:08] Can't be real we they never been any gay
[00:57:17] From Quincy's a lot of times guys guys will come up to me after the show to be like, oh, that's all that gay stuff
[00:57:23] That's just a joke
[00:57:25] No, I'm gay, but well you're from Quincy
[00:57:28] I said, yeah, some people from Boston are gay
[00:57:31] Then I don't know they just start fuming and seeing red it gets me kind of horny
[00:57:37] Yeah, it gets me horny
[00:57:39] the bathroom cool down in the toilet
[00:57:42] Listen buddy look a little red in the face. I'll shove your head in the toilet
[00:57:48] I'll suck you off from behind
[00:57:50] I get dick from the back
[00:58:07] That's really good
[00:58:09] To suck on my day for my
[00:58:15] To look at my ass while you son yeah like you're like you blow me
[00:58:21] While you're using my ass like a periscope. Yes exactly. That's exactly what I have 15 degrees down bubble
[00:58:30] Oh, damn that makes me speak Kelsey grandma that makes me want to watch down periscope
[00:58:34] Mm-hmm does it make you want to watch down periscope or suck Kelsey grandma's cock?
[00:58:40] No watch the movie down. Are you sure? I want to
[00:58:44] Who's lonely?
[00:58:47] Yeah, I think it is yeah. Oh, yeah, I fucked her. She was so hard. Yeah, I already fucked her. All right boy
[00:58:53] I actually fucked her
[00:58:55] She said she would have fucked you, but you your dick smelled bad. That is true
[00:59:00] That is exactly what happened
[00:59:07] Man really is a crime that women get older really I think it's beautiful damn Harry Dean stands in it and Brewster
[00:59:15] Yeah, dude. Harry Dean Stanton is in fucking everything and Rob Schneider
[00:59:20] It was money macy rip torn that's an incredible cow periscope was the movie the first movie
[00:59:25] I saw where I was like aware of Harry Dean Stanton as an actor
[00:59:28] I'm like this guy's great. What's his name? Yeah, I knew who dare Harry Dean Stan was. He's the best
[00:59:35] Demonstrating how the pressure crushes the submarine like a like a soda can
[00:59:40] Hangs a string up those that good. There's an intense scene for a comedy movie. It's true. Yeah, that is true. Oh
[00:59:49] It's a it's a comedy. Yeah, of course Kelsey grammar king of comedy come on
[00:59:54] When you thought you had a periscope was fucking you five seven
[01:00:02] That's why I was that's why I was like Rob Schneider what
[01:00:05] No, there was a serious crimson tide. Yeah, I literally did
[01:00:09] Kelsey could play something serious, dude. He's got the gravitas crimson tide classic
[01:00:15] That is a good one Simpson Bruckheimer banger. That is a very good one
[01:00:19] Denzo
[01:00:20] You mean to tell me you ain't never worked with a black man on this ship before
[01:00:25] That's not what I'm saying cookie. You just calls him cookie the whole time
[01:00:30] Listen cookie. Give me the goddamn coach
[01:00:34] You either give me that fucking code or I'll suck your cock. Oh
[01:00:39] Yeah, I remember that scene from Crimson Tide
[01:00:44] They call it a submarine, you know why
[01:00:46] I'll sub for you. I'm a sub machine
[01:00:51] I met a sub machine gun. It's a gun. That's just sucking dick
[01:01:01] Now Robert De Niro calls Cuba Goodings, Jr. Cookie and in men of honor. Oh
[01:01:08] Yeah, I've never seen that. Oh, you won't be a die boy. Hey cookie
[01:01:12] Well, you won't be a big dovame, huh? Yes to go cookie boy
[01:01:19] Ain't that the right chocolate chip boy
[01:01:22] I think it's every actors dream to play a racist southerner from the mid mid 20th century
[01:01:28] When you go to Juilliard, you just fantasize about the day that you'll be able to call a million dollar black actor the end word through his face
[01:01:37] Repeatedly for months on that's the pinnacle of your craft. Yeah, and to
[01:01:41] conspire with the director to make sure that the you're the actor you're working with actually feels that you are
[01:01:47] Genuinely racist so that you can get out of him everything that you need
[01:01:55] Yeah, dude acting is such bullshit. Yeah
[01:01:59] Having said that I want to be in the pictures dude. Yeah
[01:02:03] Yeah, it's all it's all just do cameo roles for the next decade. Yeah, I love the three of us
[01:02:09] Yeah, I just like oh they got the come boys
[01:02:12] We can be like the lone Rangers in the X files. Mm-hmm. Okay. Remember the computer guys. Oh, yeah
[01:02:22] Didn't they give them a spin-off they did have a spin-off for a while. He's called the Big Bang
[01:02:27] I
[01:02:29] Think I never watched the X-Files, but I think I watched like one episode of the spin-off. Yeah, I used to watch it every Friday with my dad
[01:02:37] I watching Andrew Yang should go on the Big Bang Theory. She going what the Big Bang Theory. Oh, yeah, that's they would know like just
[01:02:46] Oh, hold on you guys keep talking that might be FedEx. I think it is there was a note. Yeah, I saw a note
[01:02:52] Have you ever been to San Francisco Adam? Of course. I've never been what should I do?
[01:02:57] It's a really incredible city. Yeah, it's filled with the worst people. Why do you guys huh? No, no, like pretty fucked up
[01:03:05] I would say that tech tech assholes
[01:03:08] I'm staying in Oakland. Thank you everyone who came yesterday. The East Bay is really nice. Oh
[01:03:14] Yeah, yeah, do you ever get your balls licked in San Francisco? I got my balls licked in both the East Bay and San Francisco
[01:03:22] I do a little sex towards you
[01:03:24] Just you know young young lady. Yeah, this was maybe seven years ago. Oh really? Yeah, so you were young and hot
[01:03:35] Not ugly like you are now. No, I was much uglier than actually no no I was I get better looking every year
[01:03:41] No, you don't know. It's true. You look like shit stop. It's true. No, you look bad. I look good
[01:03:47] Oh, you look fine. I look fine. I'm trying to get some dim sum. Yeah, I would say what did you get from FedEx?
[01:03:57] Somebody sent golden golden gate parks really nice
[01:04:02] Maybe try to go to like old game I leave for five seconds and Adams already gain
[01:04:07] No, I was just into a stop saying or is it stops asking what he should do in San Francisco?
[01:04:14] And he kept telling me this fuck old list of guys names maybe take a try and
[01:04:19] Take a drive up to
[01:04:22] You didn't invite me and you know how much I love the PC. Are you gonna have a car up there?
[01:04:27] I don't know probably not are you gonna have a free any free days. I have a free day drive down a big sir
[01:04:42] Half a tab
[01:04:44] The house is full and the mom is
[01:04:50] With each other
[01:04:55] That's the family matters and then you know it's a full house
[01:05:00] because
[01:05:02] My sickest and the three gay guys represent the queens and then the other two cards
[01:05:13] The uncle I don't know something like that
[01:05:23] Shut the fuck up dude
[01:05:26] Just
[01:05:28] Do you just like it just sitting in the the library singing that and they're like you have to be quiet
[01:05:35] You're like I'm singing the fucking full house. I'm doing the full house
[01:05:40] Fuck you bitch fuck off God damn it
[01:05:45] It fucking bitch
[01:05:47] Shut up the hell up. Oh shit. They're about looking at porn in the library when they come over. They're like excuse me. You're like
[01:06:00] You're supposed to shut the fuck up. I'm just I'm getting hard quietly
[01:06:05] You're supposed to shut up
[01:06:07] My friend George saw a retarded man jacking off in the library one time
[01:06:17] His head was right by the screen
[01:06:24] It was in our college library
[01:06:28] Well you see that video like that's Asian kid beating off of the computer and the black guy walks up to him in the library
[01:06:35] He's like hey, man. I got a question in the Asian kid immediately pulls the chair forward and he's like holding a folder
[01:06:40] He's like fuck get out of here. Don't take a picture
[01:06:47] You got to beat your meat and I was like get the fuck it's my right get out of here
[01:06:52] My dick is small
[01:07:02] You better drive to Boston with no AC Adam. Yeah, I'm gonna die dude. It's gonna be like 90 today. No AC
[01:07:10] Yeah, I was too proud to get it fixed on Tuesday. Why didn't you get it fixed?
[01:07:15] It wasn't because I was too proud us because they needed to order apart
[01:07:19] It wouldn't be ready by today. Hmm. What was the part looks like your boy bottle lemon?
[01:07:26] You did yeah a condenser
[01:07:31] Was it a part that you have to put in your ass so it doesn't suck up all the cold air
[01:07:35] Yeah, exactly because your ass keeps breaking because my ass keeps sucking up all the cold air
[01:07:41] Sort of like a black hole. Yeah
[01:07:43] That's actually fucked up the your ashes that big and gaping I will I think I'll try to hit the new balance out let
[01:07:51] Though per your recommendation. I got fucking shot out your balance outfit outlet your boy
[01:07:57] What I'm the video, but it won't play. Oh, man. Anyways, that's the Asian kids doing
[01:08:02] That piece of paper over his face
[01:08:07] I
[01:08:09] I
[01:08:13] Have the I have I have the power
[01:08:30] I'm trying to watch Rita get fucked actually damn I think I need to go home actually before I leave I
[01:08:36] Think I forgot the other okay
[01:08:43] Shut up show me readers Nick, can I borrow can I just get a swipe of the other it?
[01:08:47] I don't have the other you don't wear the other I do not wear the other no why not?
[01:08:52] I don't smell I smell bad unless I wear it. No, no. I don't need to bathe. I don't need to do shit
[01:08:57] There's no big yeah, but I just use water look at my fucking hands. Look how dirty I am
[01:09:02] But you don't smell I do not smell I leave no scent leave no trace. There's no way that's true
[01:09:08] It's kind of a ninja thing. Yeah, so you have no fair moans. So you're not hot and fuck yeah
[01:09:13] So women are attracted to you
[01:09:16] I understand how fair moans work. I do it's from having stinky pits that girls want to say
[01:09:22] Ceremones fair moans don't have a scent. Oh, they do. Yeah, they do no you just smell bad outside of that
[01:09:28] I smell bad unless I wear deodorant like most people
[01:09:31] Yeah, especially during the sun like most people
[01:09:34] This is just me. I'm like most tactical. I'm different. I'm different. I'm not like other girls. I'm like lizzo
[01:09:47] They call me the lizzo of the right
[01:09:53] The intellectual dark webs Rizzo Nick Mullen
[01:09:56] I can't help it my juice is so fat or whatever the lyrics are. Yeah
[01:10:03] Lizzo's good though lizzo. Yeah, that song's nice. She's got a couple bangers
[01:10:13] She sang that
[01:10:15] Some family and here comes Steve Urkel and his family matters
[01:10:25] It's a family motherfucking matters and it matters for you
[01:10:44] Fuck all right. Well, listen guys come see me on Thursday in Los Angeles at the lodge room
[01:10:50] There are tickets available in the 930 yes check on my Instagram and Twitter for links
[01:10:57] So I'll keep posting them until the show desperately asking people to come see me. You will go see my boy
[01:11:03] It'll go it'll go great. I'm excited. I'm same day
[01:11:06] I'm in Seattle on the 29th and in Portland on the 30th by tickets to that and then I am in Philly on the 21st
[01:11:14] And then Fort Wayne and Indianapolis on the 27th and 28th as always come see us funny moms on Mondays
[01:11:21] I'm at fat Tuesdays at the stand every Tuesday
[01:11:25] All that good shit by Nicky boys t-shirts at come dot town
[01:11:31] You're funny mom's tomorrow. Yeah, come to funny mom's tomorrow
[01:11:35] Is that it or suck us yeah, goodbye everybody oh my god, I cannot wait to initiate your car
[01:11:43] I love where condom it first so good and my penis
[01:11:47] I
[01:11:48] Can't wait to for the first time where the condom like that do you reject? I checked over the condom or I was like 12
[01:11:54] I have I get I put my penis in condom