Cum Town | Premium | 09/23/2019
[00:00:00] It's everybody. Hello everyone. Someone just sent me this. I guess we can just
[00:00:07] we can just play it on here. Somebody like highlighted. I guess Judy Gold went in
[00:00:11] on Shane. Oh yeah. And she was on Rich and Bonnie's show complaining about how
[00:00:16] how rap is bad. Oh. So that's awesome. In touch ass take. Before you think that
[00:00:23] this is like a woke take or punching up or down she's shooting on rap music
[00:00:28] because it's like you know for apes or yeah a 50 year old Jewish lesbian. She
[00:00:34] sites like Gershwin as being like I don't know what the fuck I'm not
[00:00:38] I'm not cool clip but this is a fuck that this is someone who thinks it's a thing
[00:00:43] what Cuban link only bill for Cuban links. Yeah. What? She's doing a character
[00:01:10] that's called satire. That's kind of music was rap music. Oh yeah. What if that song.
[00:01:18] Yeah. That's really really good. The carpenters. And first of all it's smart.
[00:01:23] It's necessary. Smart. It's. And it's important political commentary. What are
[00:01:27] let's just the best kind of bit. Let's see what Judy says. The rap is crap. Yeah.
[00:01:32] Yeah. Well see what you did. The Ben Shapiro. Judy had to say yeah it's
[00:01:36] literally his take. Yeah it's literally Ben Shapiro's take and Ben Shapiro
[00:01:41] wouldn't be fucking out there dropping in even Ben Shapiro knows you got a
[00:01:45] sneak you got to be sneaky about the race. You got to say that when the mics are
[00:01:49] off. That's fucking wild she if she's just freely
[00:01:54] pot is dropping in just dropping in bombs in with while talking about how rap
[00:01:58] music is not music and then what did she say about Shane. She wrote something
[00:02:04] because you're like Christopher Titus shared her article which from home dude.
[00:02:10] Yeah. Only done like he I'm shocked he's not racist. He's definitely
[00:02:15] his comedy is yelling. All he does is. I don't know it's mostly like it's it's
[00:02:20] the kind of like it's like if Lou Black was white trash. Dude I like to show but
[00:02:25] yeah Titus. Titus stand up is always sucked. It's always been like this is
[00:02:28] like it's the kind of humor that like my manager at the car dealership. Yes.
[00:02:33] You know like doing bit because if people are trying to share his bit where he
[00:02:37] says like the word retard or whatever and then it's like there's nothing even
[00:02:41] bad there the blitz like he's like I would never call an intellectually
[00:02:44] disabled person. The are work. Oh I would do that and he's like and he's like in
[00:02:49] fact if I heard someone do that they'd have to deal with me physically. And
[00:02:54] then it's like people are like clapping for him. That's a good bit. Yeah well and
[00:02:58] then he's like but we all got that friend that's got nine beers and he's
[00:03:03] hanging out the side. Okay. Say and they cop come over here. He's like the point
[00:03:07] is like but we all know a retard. Oh which is like it's Louis C. K.
[00:03:12] I've caught. Stand up comedy has been so ruined for me that like you see every
[00:03:16] bit. You see a common. Yeah. You know the bit. Only things that are funny are like
[00:03:20] people that have like a distinctive style and are able to deliver those
[00:03:25] obvious premises in a way that like works. Burr is one of the few people that still
[00:03:29] can do that. We're like any point Burr is going about to make you know it's
[00:03:33] coming. Right. Yeah as a comedian. Sure. But he still has. It's a voice. An
[00:03:39] effective personal style. Yeah and every once in a while you get wrapped up in
[00:03:42] that style and that's why you don't see it coming necessarily. Maybe. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:03:46] Uh Chris Burditis is not one of those. Not at all. Not even remotely close. I did
[00:03:51] his dad on the show was racist. Yeah. I remember that from watching it. It was
[00:03:57] that old guy with the mustache. Who? Yeah Titus is. It brings me to the wall. This
[00:04:02] is Judy Gold's article which brings me to the interesting case of comedian
[00:04:05] Shane Gillis which some people think is about political correctness run amok.
[00:04:09] On Mondays and now it's about blah blah. I was reported that someone unearthed a
[00:04:12] podcast from 2018 blah blah blah. Subscribe is pushing boundaries. Um some
[00:04:18] people say his firing means the comments being censored. They're wrong. Shane
[00:04:20] Gillis is every red to say what he wants. But blah let's get a few things straight.
[00:04:23] The clip wasn't exactly dug up. It's not old from last year. Uh that's true. Some
[00:04:29] of them. No I didn't read this because I've read so many takes on this. Yeah. Well my
[00:04:34] favorite is that he's a menace to society. Um racist menace. Yeah but Gillis's
[00:04:40] podcast was not from his young and stupid teen years. It wasn't me. Oh no dude.
[00:04:47] Yeah. How can you say like that take is stupid right no matter what but how can
[00:04:52] you say that knowing you're dropping in. You got a clip out there from two weeks
[00:04:57] ago. Two weeks ago. Yeah. Before she was. I have no. But it has to be within the
[00:05:01] night. It's that rich and bony show. It's not late last couple years. Mm hmm. And that
[00:05:07] song with their body says drops a couple and bombs in there too. But she's
[00:05:11] Canadian. Yeah. Yeah. And it means a different thing. Canada literally means
[00:05:16] ends in the restaurant culture. Yeah. Mm hmm. You know. So to be Canadian you're
[00:05:21] basically if you're in a restaurant I would because sometimes they serve food
[00:05:25] it's serious. I would consider that to be in a restaurant. It counts. And Bonnie's
[00:05:28] allowed to use the animal. Yeah. Because in a restaurant everyone knows when
[00:05:31] waiters say we have a couple of Canadians at table five. Is that oh that's how
[00:05:35] you heard that. Oh yeah that's what that means. Oh wow. Nice. Yeah. Because they
[00:05:40] don't tip or something. Is that no because it's they don't tip in Canada.
[00:05:44] You work in the food service industry in an actual black family from Canada
[00:05:47] comes in. Mm hmm. The waiters are they got a shitting
[00:05:50] grin on their face and like yeah we don't get a lot of Canadians in here.
[00:05:53] Oh okay. It's so nice to serve Canadians. Oh okay. Yeah. At least that's what I
[00:05:59] would do. And then I go in the back and be like well you know the Canadian
[00:06:02] thing and everybody's gonna be blank stare. That's the last time I ever worked
[00:06:07] at a restaurant. You know how we all say this thing.
[00:06:12] Yeah. Come on. We're all restaurant guys.
[00:06:17] I remember when I was like every job I had as a teenager I had this mentality
[00:06:21] about like you fuck the employer we should all be stealing. Yeah. And I would
[00:06:24] just like announce like I would steal things from my grocery store job and
[00:06:27] be like yeah of course you steal fuck these people. Right. And like just getting
[00:06:31] blank stares from other employees. Yeah. I'm like what. Yeah. Oh absolutely.
[00:06:36] Yeah they just don't know like you don't think that way. No and they really
[00:06:41] truly don't. Nick you're being a bad team member. I got told on.
[00:06:45] No. And a grocery store job. Yeah some fuck. By another underling. By the guy that was
[00:06:48] fucking old ladies in the paddled on me. And the manager liked me too. He was
[00:06:53] like did he's like did you steal? And I was like yeah.
[00:06:58] And he was like come on. And he's like I would have bought it for you. I'm like
[00:07:01] no. I'm sure what it's about man. We're friends. Yeah. It's nothing.
[00:07:05] Personally he's like we got to fire you. He's like I called these like I called
[00:07:07] corporate. I tried to do everything I could. We got to fire you over a fucking candy
[00:07:12] bar. Hilarious. Yeah. Is that the same grocery store with the Mexican guy
[00:07:16] claimed to be having sex in the back. Oh yeah. They did not fire him.
[00:07:27] Um yeah that's fucking stupid man. Oh yeah this article is mostly she's mad that he said
[00:07:35] that women aren't funny. No. Oh Jesus fucking Christ. Well that's just true.
[00:07:48] She has a lot funnier than you. That is so funny that she's mad. She's not mad at the slur.
[00:07:57] Yeah I don't know because I saw other comics going in on this and this is like
[00:08:01] mostly fine. So now I feel bad for playing that in clip.
[00:08:06] Oh you know. Honestly what I saw was Christopher Titus calling Shane like a
[00:08:10] mama's boy and being like thank you Judy Gold which Christopher Titus' tweets are a lot better
[00:08:15] if you read them in Michael Rappaport's voice. I feel like they should share a voice. I feel like
[00:08:20] they should be close to share a voice. Oh he really is not Italian Rappaport. Yeah. Rappaport's Jewish.
[00:08:27] What? Yeah. So he's just like pertain to be Black and Italian at the same time. He's just from New
[00:08:34] York. He's just a wicker dude. Jews love being wiggers. He's Michael Rappaport every New York
[00:08:39] teenager talk like that in 1992. Yeah he just never changed. He's just never stopped.
[00:08:43] You're when we're gonna go get a slice of pizza.
[00:08:49] And so then I guess respect to him for staying true to his roots. Yeah. Well other people started
[00:08:55] talking like Adam. Yeah it's true. You would you wouldn't believe how I used to talk to him.
[00:09:01] We've got a lot of tapes. You still do that. I remember that week when you were trying
[00:09:05] out dead ass and it took a lot for me to not. I wasn't trying out dead ass for a week.
[00:09:10] Trying it out for as a 30 as a 31 year old Jewish man from Las Vegas. You were. I tried out at 31
[00:09:17] first of all. It might have been 27. No. But also I wasn't trying. Oh my it was not 27. No no no.
[00:09:23] Are you fucking kidding me. College I was 27 was four years ago. Now you're starting with. Okay.
[00:09:29] No this is your fault for saying myself. I was trying to but you got egregious.
[00:09:34] Okay I want to. First of all I wasn't even in New York back. I just moved.
[00:09:38] What you remember the dead ass period. It was. No it wasn't. It was very it was.
[00:09:43] As long as people are going through old tweets can somebody please try to cancel Adam with dead
[00:09:47] ass. Since Seth Simon's if you're listening go through and find Adam saying dead ass.
[00:09:53] Oh Seth Simon's you could fucking bring it. Yeah. Hey you spent the weekend doing gay research.
[00:09:59] I went on my phone and nerd. You know what the funny is.
[00:10:02] Fucking lose. He did it. He did this whole thing and he's like been like clearly tweeting 24
[00:10:08] hours a day not sleeping for two weeks like losing it. Breaking. He did it for 500 dollars
[00:10:14] for like one like for one like. And he still has like 3000 followers. It's not like you're 500
[00:10:19] dollars to write a vulture article. How much do you get? Probably pay 100 bucks freelancing.
[00:10:24] Amazing. Amazing. Also he didn't write a vulture article. He was on a. Is that guy trying to
[00:10:29] also be a comedian? Yeah. Well yeah he's a failed comic. Unbelievable. Yeah. I mean he just reeks
[00:10:34] of failure. That's the only thing to do. First of all is a failed comic myself. I take offense
[00:10:38] to this idea that like all failed comics turn into these critics of the fucking. That's true.
[00:10:43] No but all critics probably are well it's critics are podcasters and you chose your past.
[00:10:47] I chose my past. I chose a more noble. The mage. It's like choose your class of failed comic.
[00:10:56] Brandon. We're Brandon was a stepfather. I'm a critic. We're podcaster. We're Brandon was in
[00:11:02] town. We went through. We just searched. Simon's on YouTube. Wait. Hold on a second before we
[00:11:07] move on this. You were absolutely no no no. Trying out. No no. You go to lunch and you'd be like
[00:11:14] dead ass. I thought that was like and it's like what you I probably said it ironically. No. You
[00:11:20] were trying it out. You like you thought for a second would be okay to talk like you were
[00:11:25] fucking this isn't true. This isn't true. It's 100% true. It was man. There was a peer. We were both
[00:11:32] listening to the Bojaga boys a lot and it bled into your speech. Maybe that may not mind because
[00:11:38] I'm I have which is the way language works. I mean it's yeah you hear things and then you adopt them.
[00:11:43] It's just funny to make fun of people for being so transparent and flimsy and not especially
[00:11:47] someone that's moved to New York in the last two years. Yes. Yeah. That is not three four years.
[00:11:52] It's only four years. No way. It was not when it was. You've been your how long. I found my voice
[00:11:59] since then. Makes you think of your how long. It's not that it's how black people talk. It's
[00:12:03] like how the like youth talks. Yeah. It's how fast you're over 30. I was I probably wasn't over
[00:12:09] 30. You're like you're like a fucking oh my god. Yes. You fucking were. No one says Yolo anymore.
[00:12:16] I know but if Yolo had come me and my friends at the skate park never say Yolo. Yeah. We stop.
[00:12:21] If Yolo had come out that's the thing too. It's like if you could skateboard you would be skateboarding.
[00:12:26] You can't. I can skate. That's why you're not one of those guys. I'm incredible. Now you can't at all.
[00:12:31] Because you don't know. You're gonna pick it up like when you have a kid. You're gonna actually
[00:12:35] like take lessons and shit when you're like oh yeah we're gonna go be and my son are gonna go to
[00:12:39] whatever it's gonna be. You buy yourself. So the gay shit I did as a baby I just never stopped doing
[00:12:43] same. I still play video games. Yep. I'm still playing Switch in bed. Okay. Well I'm hanging out.
[00:12:49] I'm like no I'm depressed. I still speak in AAV. You know that's something I did as a child.
[00:12:56] Yeah. And I will never stop. Okay. I did go search Seth Simons on YouTube with Brandon when he was
[00:13:05] in town. Everyone was posting that bird video. There's the bird video but what's even better
[00:13:10] than the bird video is he got involved in Philadelphia Street battle poetry. And I feel like this is
[00:13:20] really lost. Just don't fuck up. I feel like this is really lost. That's in Boston the shuffle.
[00:13:26] And because the bird the bird the bird poem is short enough kind of to like retweet.
[00:13:30] But this is just him doing poems. Spoken bird poetry. Him doing poems against Black people
[00:13:38] on the streets of Philadelphia. And then the format is that like random passers by vote on
[00:13:43] who's better. And he loses every single battle. Of course. She loses every single battle.
[00:13:49] And it is so funny because he talks in that like if you go to like a fucking like academic
[00:13:55] reading or something that like cadence that they talk in which sounds like they're a little bit
[00:13:59] British too. And like that's that's exclusively how this person talks. And yeah I mean there.
[00:14:05] What does he how's he like Pope? You know it's like it's like wrapping or he has one poem that's
[00:14:11] learning. No no. He has one that's horny. Nice. That is just so uncomfortable to watch.
[00:14:18] Oh yeah. Actually I kind of want to pull. You should pull it up man.
[00:14:21] Um check. Okay. This is upside down. So I keep worrying that I.
[00:14:28] What is the thing? Dude it's did you see his sweet because like in response. Yeah good.
[00:14:33] In response to the bird poetry check where he's like yeah pull up my old art that's bad.
[00:14:38] Check check check check check check checking checking with bikes checking just checking
[00:14:44] any way that he said yeah pull up my test testing one test test test.
[00:14:49] A B. Glad you're back. Ah. Ah. Is it picking me up on the high? Am I clipping?
[00:14:57] We're good. Okay. We're going to go ahead. What's going on? What are we talking about?
[00:15:12] Ooh we got a. Okay yeah. One on one street slam. Seth Simon's versus Kerwin Sutherland.
[00:15:41] This is smiling hardy shit. Are you kidding? Oh god.
[00:15:57] He shit sucks dude. Stop playing this. No I gotta find the horny one. Yeah he's so
[00:16:02] unfunny. It's not like you could just be like what's his comedy like. Yo I don't know if
[00:16:06] I get enough information. I don't need to actually watch the spoken bird poetry thing.
[00:16:12] The woody is this is like it's a type of person that like went to school and they were like well I
[00:16:21] decided I'm funny now. I did enough homework. I'm funny. Right right right right.
[00:16:27] Ah whatever man. Yeah. What's been going on in America since I'm going guys. That's it dude.
[00:16:33] Really that was the only thing. Yeah. Spacey murder. Oh yeah that was wild. Yeah.
[00:16:38] Oh and that motherfucker that Canadian motherfucker keeps doing black or did blackface.
[00:16:42] I kind of I love the way he's like yeah I fucking did it. So I did some blackface. Yeah and there's
[00:16:47] going to be more. That was awesome. He was like I can't get costumes. He said he can't guarantee
[00:16:54] that we'll be more in the future. Like this motherfucker did blackface so often. He's
[00:16:59] defenced. The fact that he painted his hands is like okay then I kind of do buy black hands.
[00:17:05] Like I just like costumes. Well he just like I saw some dumb bitch tweet. Is that what he said?
[00:17:11] Yeah yeah. Some some dumb bitch was like in 2002 I was
[00:17:15] kalia patreon. I never once thought of darkening my skin for my costume and it's like yeah I'm
[00:17:20] sorry that you didn't put effort into your costume. Right. You're probably talking about your
[00:17:24] Jasmine you fucking idiot. Also Cleopatra was white as hell. Yeah. She's Greek. Thank you very
[00:17:32] much. Yeah. And she was ugly. Yeah. She was not hot. Was just told me told me yeah yeah.
[00:17:39] Yeah. This told me is where we had fucked up a fucked up nose but she had power and that
[00:17:45] turns me on and I would still fuck her. She had parties nose. She had no. My man's looking kind
[00:17:50] of good though. He looks amazing. Like I was shocked because I remember dude even like a couple
[00:17:56] of weeks you would see him. He looked like a ghost. He looks like the color was drained 20 years
[00:18:00] off his he's never looked that good. Yeah. Wait he got his nose. He got sober. The nose is fucked up.
[00:18:04] He got sober for like a month and he looks great. He's glowing. He's like he's vibrant.
[00:18:10] That's awesome. Completely different. Good for him. He's tan. Yeah.
[00:18:14] Like can you fix that nose or is that nose fucked? I mean you could probably fix it but
[00:18:17] you're reconstructive surgery. I don't know. I don't know. His is tricky. No.
[00:18:22] Michael Jackson's nose was like crumbling. Yeah but he made it smaller already just wants to make
[00:18:27] it look nice. I know but like at a certain point he probably tried to make was like oh it's too small.
[00:18:32] When if someone gets their nose their ship blown off in Iraq though. I think you wear like just a
[00:18:37] prosthesis maybe. No that's from that show a boardwalk empire. Yeah that's where I got it from.
[00:18:42] That was talking in the 20s. And that guy lost his nose from syphilis. Oh really? I think so.
[00:18:50] Oh no no it was from the war. Yeah what the fuck. Can you lose a nose from syphilis?
[00:18:54] No you go fucking crazy if you know you lose your nose from syphilis. Stage one is syphilis.
[00:18:59] You get like smaller sores on your dick or whatever. Stage two syphilis because then it goes dormant
[00:19:03] and it just sits in your system. And then when it comes back it's all over your fucking body.
[00:19:07] And this where you lose your nose and then you lose then that goes away and then like stage three
[00:19:11] is it like it eats your brain. Damn syphilis is all over the whole damn body. But I feel like
[00:19:17] syphilis is like they really fucked right. They got they got rid of that. I think you the only one
[00:19:23] that's bad is AIDS now. And herpes herpes is going to seem like fun. Seems like AIDS is fun.
[00:19:29] You talk to your gay friends they're like yeah who cares. Yeah you have HIV it's fine as long as
[00:19:34] you're non-detectable. What's funny is like already looks all cleaned up in that picture that they
[00:19:38] keep posting. Yeah and then it's like you know I mean you know in your heart. He's got the monster
[00:19:48] side of it. I hope not man. I mean I hope not either. Yeah yeah. We'll see. I know what you mean though.
[00:19:57] Yeah it's like when I clean my apartment I'm like finally and it's going to stay like this.
[00:20:02] And then I'm like sleeping in garbage in the movies. The garbage doesn't leave though that's one thing.
[00:20:07] That's true. The bag you always have a contractor's bag in the middle of your apartment. Yeah full
[00:20:12] of trash. Oh this is it. Yeah he looks great in this pick. Shut up. What are you saying shut up.
[00:20:20] You're fucking copying everybody. He did ask looks great. Dude shut up dude. Shut up. I just want to
[00:20:27] talk in the flavors of New York. I got a flavor you can have in your mouth. Can you talk with all
[00:20:32] the flavors of New York. Damn so that's it. I didn't miss much. Yeah. Nah man things have been
[00:20:41] shitty. Yeah America sucks. I'm gonna move to Greece dude. Yeah. I went to my cousin. My cousin's in
[00:20:48] he's like in a play. I guess they still do like comedic plays. That's like a big. It's like a big
[00:20:53] deal. He was he was in a play with like the most famous Greek comedian like there is. Yeah.
[00:20:57] And as Papa's. No no like straight his name is Maricos Cepherles. And he's just like this ugly
[00:21:05] man. Like he's not. He's like got some star power whatever but like the sketches were all
[00:21:11] straight up like what if I was gay. Like the first sketch. The first sketch. They come out and he
[00:21:20] does this like big opening number and it's like whoa this is like theater and it's like lights
[00:21:24] and shit. I'm like whoa this is awesome. It's gonna be cool. And then the first sketch is it's
[00:21:29] Wheel of Fortune. He's the host and there's a fat lady that annoys him a gay guy that tries to
[00:21:35] fuck him and a hot girl with big ass titties that he tries to like kind of like Saba to
[00:21:41] it's literally the sketch is just like calling the gay guy a homo and then like literally
[00:21:47] threading to beat up the lady for being fat. I'll be in the audience of this watching it like
[00:21:53] seriously not understanding that it's a comedy. Like why is everybody disagree with this.
[00:22:00] Dude it was incredible and I had to I had to be awful for those people to have to be in such a
[00:22:04] toxic environment. Yeah. And it so clearly hates them. Yeah. Well that's dude dude and I had to leave
[00:22:12] early because my boat to Athens got delayed as fuck and I had to do some or shit early in the
[00:22:17] morning. And apparently the place started. It was listed at eight. It always starts at 945.
[00:22:23] This guy's like Guns N' Roses. Like he doesn't come out all the time. And it goes it was a Sunday
[00:22:28] and it went till 3 a.m. And I was like yeah the play and I was like all right I'm going to leave.
[00:22:34] I'm not staying for all this. So I missed my cousin and the next day I saw him he's like dude what
[00:22:38] the fuck you don't even see me play the gay gypsy. He was like that's my big number. I play the gay
[00:22:44] gypsy and the horny old lady. Literally those are my cousins. He's got a range. I like that
[00:22:50] these guys invented plays. Yeah they did. Now they're the worst at it. They invented the smiley
[00:22:58] and the frowny. Dude we really did. They invented emojis. Did they let women be in place or is that
[00:23:05] like Shakespeare didn't. Right it was all drag. Greek people probably did. I don't know.
[00:23:09] No I think they use boys right. No they fucked the boys. Oh I think Shakespeare used boys.
[00:23:16] Shakespeare used like a feminine man to be a woman. I think you could play it every one of them.
[00:23:22] Like boys. No I think you were like 14 15 like if you were Juliet. That's a boy to me.
[00:23:28] Not back then dude. Back then that's a man. You were a man like a family. Yeah your job would be
[00:23:34] to bring milk to the babies. If we lived in ancient times you would be a milk baby.
[00:23:40] A milk baby. They would send you to the doctor and be like oh I don't even have to cut his balls off.
[00:23:44] They're not there. They're too small to be bald. I keep this. My scissors are too. They're too small
[00:23:51] for my real knife. These ancient scissors. These giant ancient scissors that won't work on his
[00:23:58] small balls. So we can just give him a job bringing milk to the babies. You guys know I have low
[00:24:03] hangers. You do but they're little. Yeah they're dense. They're not they're heavy. They're small
[00:24:08] balls. They're small balls at all. Yes you do. And on my old phone I had a video of them hanging
[00:24:15] but I don't. Small. Small. And you know I shoot. You know I shoot ropes. No one says you shoot
[00:24:20] ropes. Never happens. I should. No one says you shoot ropes. It's actually too much load. No
[00:24:26] shut up. I've been told I've been told it's too much. Buy a liar. Well no I just saved my
[00:24:31] son who had nothing else to say to you. Yeah. You're like oh it's too much calm. Yeah.
[00:24:38] You're like wow do you have a good. Was that as good for you as it was for me?
[00:24:41] It was a lot of calm. Well there was a lot of calm. Well I was like that's after. What about
[00:24:46] during. The cum and then the silence. Bachelor Adam. Bachelor Adam dude. Throw in teaspoons of
[00:24:56] cum in front into a bunch of strangers and they pretend like it's too much cum. Yeah what she
[00:25:00] said was like I think you're eating too much of your own. She didn't say that. Adam's got a bib.
[00:25:07] It went from being like kind of like a weird hot thing to now it seems like you just want to
[00:25:12] drink cum. I like I don't. He's like oh you're saying I make a lot of cum. She's like no you've
[00:25:18] just ate. You're eating too much. Small amount but you've eaten too much of the small amount of
[00:25:24] whoa maybe she wants them. You're hogging up all your own load. You're just. She wants.
[00:25:28] She's like Adam I want to eat this cum but every time you're about to bust. You put your mouth over
[00:25:34] your own dick. It's my cum. I'm not giving her the cum or when your prostate is being stimulated
[00:25:41] by a strapper. No that's not true. That's not true. It's too much cum and that's because you have a
[00:25:47] fucking. Everyone knows that's not true. Just squeeze your fucking girl. You have one of those
[00:25:53] rubber suction dildos against the wall and you put your every time you put a push out of her
[00:25:58] pussy the dildo goes into your ass. Do you see the visual? Yeah I mean woman you suction cup dildo
[00:26:07] going into your ass. Let's just let's compromise and say you had gay sex. We don't have to compromise
[00:26:12] here. Look Adam in a good compromise. No one's happy all the way. That's not a compromise.
[00:26:17] No one will come. You guys are a woman walk by a woman walk by a window and a man was coming all
[00:26:24] over your face. And she said that's too much. Is that what you meant? I will leave it at that.
[00:26:35] And that's where we'll come. Fair is fair dude. You know for everyone listening. We're just having
[00:26:40] a fun time. No we're learning how to come. No we're not. He was the guy who was the great
[00:26:44] compromising on the wig party. Neville Chamberlain. I don't think so. I think he was in America.
[00:26:51] Yeah was it Leonardo tungsten Leonardo tungsten. That's it. That's you Adam. Leonardo tungsten.
[00:26:58] Yeah. Yeah he's in the wig party. Because his head was covered with cum. The wig snatching party.
[00:27:06] Oh that went YOLO. He swerved and went YOLO. Squish squish squish. What were we talking about?
[00:27:17] I love these early fall days. It's the best dude. It's been really nice. It's going to get warm
[00:27:21] again this week. Chris. Chris I don't want to go to the beach one more day. I'm thinking about
[00:27:26] taking my glove and a baseball out to a feet to feel like a park where people can see me and
[00:27:30] throwing it and then just walking and picking it up. Do that for like three hours. Yeah be like
[00:27:36] hey how you doing my son's dead. How's it going? Great day huh? Oh yeah my son died. Yeah my son
[00:27:44] used to meet me my son used to play catch here before he um he was abducted and fucked and he got
[00:27:49] he got run over by a black woman so I started I'm started an organization to stop black women
[00:27:54] from driving. It's called fathers against black drivers. Yeah I pretty much can't get funding or
[00:28:04] like I keep trying to make it in organization but no one's approving it. No one's coming to the
[00:28:09] meetings. I keep getting cease and desist letters. Non-profit. Yeah I keep both mad that the mother's
[00:28:17] thing and then the drunk the magazine both tell me to stop since Alfred E. Newman saying we got to
[00:28:22] get these black ladies out of these cars before they kill all of our kids. Officially sponsored by
[00:28:29] Mad Maggy. Yeah Alfred E. Newman has star power though. Oh fuck dude I'm thinking I'm gonna here's my
[00:28:40] new plan. It's gotta be easy to get famous in Greece. I want to be I want to be the guy doing plays. How
[00:28:47] big of a country is it? I couldn't even tell did you go to the olympiacus tonda mad. I didn't I was
[00:28:53] flying. I would if if I was there I was flying a hounderman cool and they came back baby. Came back
[00:28:58] to you too. Olimbi Olimbi Olimbi Olimbi I can't. You could have shouted as much anti-Semitism as
[00:29:04] you wanted. Oh we've been the right venue. Dude that's the Jewish team bro. Oh that's right. Yeah but I
[00:29:10] don't support them. No I'm a corner. You support Arsenal. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's right. Just one of the more
[00:29:18] pathetic teams. Makes sense. Yeah dude I fucking I want to just I want to fucking live in a little
[00:29:27] cottage. A Yiddo over there costs two euros. That's like three bucks. Yeah dude. That's sick.
[00:29:35] And they're delicious. Yeah. Literally the day I got back I ordered a fucking gyro from busy girl.
[00:29:42] You said busy is just as good as Greece. It's the closest thing. That's a
[00:29:46] come town endorsement. It's kind of story. Although what pays me to say. Owned by Albanians.
[00:29:53] Oh the money's going right back to Elders. My kids got right back to Elders in this kinfolk.
[00:30:00] That is kind of beautiful. They are best friends. Albania. Yeah dude. I should get a
[00:30:04] Palestinian. Oh the other thing I know is how good of a guy I am. Dude the other thing I found
[00:30:10] out about my crazy grandfather that like collected birds. The bird guy. He was a fucking political
[00:30:15] prisoner. He was tortured and apparently he was a communist. The bird guy was a communist. No
[00:30:22] they threw communists and retards in prison. Oh you think? Yeah. The way the Holocaust had gay
[00:30:27] guys gypsies gypsies retard landcaster. Yeah his grandfather. Oh the bird man. The bird man of
[00:30:34] Alcatraz. Yeah. Yeah. Now my grandfather was apparently a fucking communist and he almost died. And
[00:30:41] there was some guy on my grandmother's side that was a fucking bounty hunter that came to America
[00:30:47] in like the 1900s. Oh like the old west. Yeah dude. Some Greek guy. There was like hunting down
[00:30:53] fucking a patch. No one in my family was cool. Yeah. Yeah. You had one cool guy. Your dad. That
[00:31:00] great grandfather that committed suicide in Prospect Park. That's not cool. I don't know. Dude
[00:31:05] that's that's pretty cool. That's goals. Yeah. I don't even know what he did. Brooklyn.
[00:31:09] Great children and his conscience drove him to killing himself. Yeah because apparently he
[00:31:15] killed himself like like when my grandpa was like 15. So oh damn. Yeah that was like I don't know.
[00:31:22] When he stopped getting hot to him. Yeah. It was like if my son's not hot and he was
[00:31:26] becoming a man I'm gonna kill myself. Yeah. I don't even want to fuck my own boy. Yeah.
[00:31:31] Huh? I want to start. I want to like you know what I want to do is have a family right? You have a
[00:31:35] son. Your oldest son or whatever. And then you dress up like a little girl. You know like pig
[00:31:41] tails or whatever in a bow and you're hearing a big lollipop. And then you're like son you're the
[00:31:45] man of the family. You have to be brave now. You're gonna have to be brave because you're
[00:31:53] the man of family now because I'm a six year old girl. Oh you're not even trans. You're a girl.
[00:32:00] Well you are but also in age. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah. You're now you're the man. You're the man of
[00:32:07] the I would be quit my job. I will be calling you daddy or ship and your daddy. Now I will be
[00:32:15] expecting candy. You better get sponsored for skateboarding soon because you got to put food on
[00:32:19] the table pal. Yeah. Just a fucking beautiful fall day with my boys. I'm jet lagged as a bitch.
[00:32:34] When's the last time you went on vacation Adam? Japan. Japan. I guess. That was a work trip dude.
[00:32:44] Well the Japan part was vacation. I don't go on vacation enough. I would go to Korea. I would like
[00:32:50] to. Yeah. What do you mean? You said we. Yeah that's a bad idea. I just thought about the logistics.
[00:32:59] Imagine like you. But anyway we need to we're going to actually you send me the flight and then
[00:33:04] I like get one Adam. I'm going to be somewhere and Nick's going to be somewhere else. Where?
[00:33:11] It doesn't. I'm vacation without like. No. Like I'm like oh yeah let's all go to Korea
[00:33:16] and then I get you a ticket. I was about to say South Central Los Angeles. And we go to Korea
[00:33:22] and you get off the plane. You're like what? And then a bunch of hoodlums. They don't have rain
[00:33:28] and air port there. The intersection of Watts and Compton. Yeah. French. Sure. French. Sure.
[00:33:35] And you'll be going to Nipsey hustle old store. Yeah and Marcus Doug Marcus Garvey Avenue.
[00:33:44] Shouts out to Marcus Garvey. He was pretty funny. Yeah I like how so much of like there's like
[00:33:49] tightest complaint about fucking you know Shane or like any of these older guys win like so much
[00:33:53] of their era comedy was like you better not ever go in that neighborhood. Yeah. You have a drive
[00:34:00] through GPS's you need to have a ghetto a thing to pass the ghetto. Yeah. Where's the ghetto in some
[00:34:08] get you through the hood. So you don't get shot. Because if that's what's happening there is they're
[00:34:15] like look man that guy's trying to drive to the server. Let's shoot him. They've got snipers.
[00:34:21] Let's go to prison for murder. There's a bunch of snipers and throwback jerseys on top of the roof.
[00:34:27] I'm just trying to get if they see a white man in a sweater vest.
[00:34:34] They're about to Chris Kyle his ass. That's what people think about Antifa. They think Antifa is
[00:34:40] like just trying to murder. So true. That is true. That's so true. That's the same. What do you mean?
[00:34:48] Why did you do that sarcastic thing? It's good. The show's back on track. I'm doing it for the show.
[00:35:00] That was I mean that wasn't even a bad point. It was just fun to just do that. It was a decent
[00:35:06] point. Thank you. Thank you. Stop. Just just fucking hang.
[00:35:18] Fucking rules. Oh dude. The bitch the bitch from House Hunters is dead. Who who? Oh Suzanne. Suzanne
[00:35:25] Wang. What she's dead. She's weird. All this Shane stuff you forget the Chinese people die. Yeah.
[00:35:32] Because in your mind they live forever. That's what they're trying to make you forget. So what
[00:35:38] happens now? Her body just sort of disintegrates while eggs hatch and more of them come out. Yeah.
[00:35:47] So she just starts to decompose and then like the larval versions of her. She'll be back at about
[00:35:53] 20 you know 30 years. Wait was she the one that does that show with her like husband?
[00:36:00] No it's an Asian lady that hosts House Hunters. Could she get she's like she take a stuffing.
[00:36:07] I don't like House. She was hot. I like yeah it's kind of boring. The way they when they do it on
[00:36:13] vacation for like people international House Hunters is all right because so you can see how
[00:36:18] people here's the thing dude. It's all it's all it's all fake. It's all fake. Yeah. And I don't want
[00:36:24] that. I want to know I want to be on the edge of my seat. Is this hot is this hot Cuban lady
[00:36:28] going to beat Bobby Flay at cooking you know pern Hill or whatever the fuck is that fake?
[00:36:35] You know I'm saying it's not you're saying cooking shows are real cooking shows are the only true
[00:36:40] the only true fucking competition the only real reality show is a cooking contest chopped
[00:36:47] beat Bobby Flay etc. Is beat Bobby Flay a show? Oh yeah. Oh so he's it's like iron chef but the
[00:36:54] only iron chef is Bobby Flay. Yeah you got to beat Bobby Flay. The way it works is there's two let
[00:36:59] me explain pern Hill is slamming dude and actually I think that's that's Dominican right that's not
[00:37:04] Cuban it's Cuban isn't they have that Cuban spot by me. It's like pork right it's pork yes it's
[00:37:11] pork shoulder actually it's really good respect to my fellow lovers of that cut of meat but how big
[00:37:18] beat Bobby Flay works is two chefs. Yo I missed you in in Toronto I went to Japanese or Korean
[00:37:25] bar. Why didn't you go back to the Chinese restaurant and kill that guy which guy the guy that
[00:37:30] disrespected us like I'm supposed to remember which fucking one come on Adam I I remember him yeah
[00:37:40] it was so funny when we were leaving we're all pissed and the guy in the kitchen is just
[00:37:44] watching the whole thing go down he's dying of laughter. I hated that guy. The guy in the
[00:37:50] kitchen I love the one I was laughing the waiter I was still want to fuck up I'm still pissed just
[00:37:54] thinking Nick goes back and just fucks up the wrong way. He's like you know what I'm just you
[00:38:00] know what you did now. Damn how was it KBQ?
[00:38:06] Um it was okay but I mean you know just it was one of those all you can eat places
[00:38:11] we just put more shit on the card. The best motherfuckers they underestimated me. Oh yeah I was like yeah
[00:38:17] can I do um yeah more. I was there for three hours. I love that dude. Yeah I'd to meet someone
[00:38:22] for dinner and they showed up hours late. I got it going. Yeah I got the grill popping me and Beno
[00:38:30] Brian got fucking stoned out of our cocks and went to one of those and literally the man I
[00:38:35] this happens to me a lot at one of those places where the guy begs me to let the meat cook longer
[00:38:41] before I try to eat it. Multiple waiters. You could get sick man. Most of the waiters have been like
[00:38:47] please let it cook. Yeah when I went with you in LA I was like oh this is stops place of business.
[00:38:53] Dude you have like your game face on. Dude I know dude. I know dude. I know dude. I know dude.
[00:38:57] Cause they there was like I got the all you can eat right and so they bring like the usual
[00:39:01] shit that I know like the beef and pork and chicken or whatever but they also brought like salmon.
[00:39:06] Mmm like raw salmon which like if you put that on the fucking grill it's just gonna disintegrate.
[00:39:11] No it'll work. It'll work but if you it's hot enough. If it's hot enough to wait for it to release
[00:39:15] it. Yes for sure. More so than other. Absolutely. And you know I like didn't know I'm like because
[00:39:21] it's also it's an Asian restaurant so I just assume I'm gonna be eating the fish raw. Yes.
[00:39:25] And so of course the guy comes over I'm like am I supposed to grill the fish or whatever and he
[00:39:31] goes oh no soy sauce. I was like no am I the salmon am I supposed to cook it. He's like yeah no soy sauce.
[00:39:41] I was like I don't even know how you're getting like it's how far the fuck away.
[00:39:47] Maybe men don't put soy sauce on the fish before you cook it. Yeah that sounds like what it's trying
[00:39:52] to say. Yeah but I'm like asking am I supposed to cook it. Yeah did you ever come with anything.
[00:39:57] I cooked it halfway and it ended up fucking up the grill. Damn. Yeah making a huge mess.
[00:40:09] So that guy turned out to be an asshole. An idiot dude. Yeah. Wow great. I destroy the grill
[00:40:16] that I start doing. Nice man. Thank you dude. No soy sauce.
[00:40:21] Nobody claps or to wait or drop something but it's just me breaking with a plate. I drop my own plate.
[00:40:29] Good. These are my my my pants fall off and the tablecloth gets sucked into my ass and it rips.
[00:40:36] It pulls the all the plates off the table and the chatter and I'm clapping. Wow great job.
[00:40:42] Really good job. Everyone can see my penis. Real mature.
[00:40:46] Wow. Nice real sweet and good. You fucking idiots. Yeah I'll be in the bathroom.
[00:40:53] Trying to get this tablecloth out of my ass. I don't know how a whole thing.
[00:41:03] I'm like I'm thinking back to the table completely naked.
[00:41:06] I'm bleeding profusely. There's pieces of the bathroom mirror in my skin.
[00:41:11] I'm like a little bit of service please.
[00:41:13] I'm sorry I thought it was all you can eat. I'm not done.
[00:41:18] Mad more sushi. You're eating the fucking beef raw as hell.
[00:41:25] Oh fuck damn I got a spot and I'm too tired from this jet lag.
[00:41:28] Taking that before. I guess I will. I suppose I will.
[00:41:32] Yeah I had some incredible meals over in fucking Greece brother.
[00:41:39] There was a waiter who kept going up this black guy and being like
[00:41:42] Obama number one boy America number one America Obama.
[00:41:50] And the black guy was like I've been Idris. I've been Dan Zell.
[00:42:02] Yeah truly people in other countries just don't know how to fucking do not understand.
[00:42:08] They just think like black people are not regular as people.
[00:42:13] Yeah that's so funny because I went in on the Shane thing and I had any time you get like Asians
[00:42:19] get mad on there they're like yo you want to settle this in the streets?
[00:42:28] I had some like Taiwanese sound cloud wrapper.
[00:42:34] Yeah yeah and it's like Taiwan is the most racist.
[00:42:41] That's where that Hitler cafe is and that oh hell yeah that's so cool.
[00:42:47] I don't even want to fucking say it but that one.
[00:42:56] Dude I remember when I saw that my brain like short circuited.
[00:43:01] We did so funny now because American malls are in such a state of
[00:43:06] If you told me that that store was in Lake Forest they'd be like yeah that makes sense.
[00:43:09] Yeah they're trying stuff out over there.
[00:43:14] Next to style one like K.S. designs and it's a Korean guy that sells bootleg snapbacks.
[00:43:26] I don't know man Lake Forest is cool now.
[00:43:33] There's a place that has like 10 million snapbacks and they sell like mix tapes.
[00:43:37] And like just like Stewie Griffin tall tees.
[00:43:40] Yes Stewie Griffin but he's but he's in a tall tee in a chain.
[00:43:46] like yeah honestly I'm kind of shocked Stewie hasn't been in more like you know.
[00:44:12] I feel like the Ludi Tunes definitely had their run and now Spongebob is
[00:44:15] unmistakably has a part in black culture that I was not expecting.
[00:44:23] Because the memes and now Kyrie or I think yeah Kyrie has a bunch of shoes that are
[00:44:30] they he released a bunch of fucking Mr. Krabs and Spongebob shit.
[00:44:36] Why didn't really have access to it but you never know what's that you have Nickelodeon?
[00:44:52] And I did have Suck Nickelodeon as a child.
[00:44:54] We didn't and then you needed a dish network to get Greek channels so then we got cable.
[00:45:05] And the same sitcoms over and over again.
[00:45:07] What is Greek news like there is a man who's penis is fell out of his pants on the bus.
[00:45:27] Wait isn't Greece one of those European countries where there's like a comedian politician?
[00:45:41] It's like the same four fucking families every like just get to be.
[00:45:48] It's like the papa papa ndreo family like Mizzo Taki and some other shit.
[00:45:59] It is you know you should fuck one of the daughters.
[00:46:02] I want to I'm saying I'm trying to get famous and just act in Greek over there
[00:46:12] You can find like an apartment for like 300 euros a month.
[00:46:15] I told my cousin how much rent cost here.
[00:46:19] He did not he just he did not even understand what the fuck.
[00:46:27] There's a good amount of expats in Athens right.
[00:46:32] So what's are we supposed to be mad at the working families party.
[00:46:38] I think of working families I imagine like a upper middle class white like
[00:46:46] Standing on a corner and Stephen Collins is like you're looking for a good time.
[00:46:53] You want to fuck anything you can fuck Simon.
[00:46:58] Do you think he fucked Rurthy on the set.
[00:47:07] First of all if you didn't try to fuck Jessica Beal on that show you're fucking gay.
[00:47:11] PA if you worked on that show and you weren't constantly.
[00:47:15] So you think do you think this child is hot child.
[00:47:18] She was constantly being a costed for pussy by like the grips.
[00:47:24] She was like 18 when she was on the show.
[00:47:32] The only one that was a kid was the kids were fucking the kid that played Simon.
[00:47:40] You know way more about seventh heaven than I do.
[00:47:46] SpongeBob well I thought seventh heaven.
[00:47:54] I was like fuck this family you know I mean like look at this gay ass family that I love each other.
[00:48:07] No I was like on syndicated on UPN or something.
[00:48:13] So like I mean I just watched that with it.
[00:48:18] I tried and I've said it before but I tried to do it to edit to go.
[00:48:22] Because my memories of that show is constantly the mom crying and bitching.
[00:48:27] And that might have been projection but I'm like man this mom's a bitch.
[00:48:33] Yeah she's always crying about her fucking dumb dad with Alzheimer's.
[00:48:47] Your dad's your husband has to make sure God isn't pissed.
[00:48:51] Yeah he's got to listen to your bullshit about your stupid ass dad.
[00:49:01] Sorry he can't remember that with his dumb ass brain that should be in hell by now.
[00:49:06] Do you think people with Alzheimer's it's because they committed a bad deed?
[00:49:13] And they're being punished for like rape.
[00:49:16] I knew a guy who molested his grandchildren he got Alzheimer's.
[00:49:26] He was just pretending he had Alzheimer's.
[00:49:27] He's like can I come over for dinner and they're like no you molested our son.
[00:49:41] You know just wearing diapers for pretend.
[00:49:43] When my grandma started dementia we all thought she was faking.
[00:49:47] Because she would like always forget things conveniently.
[00:49:52] And then it was like oh no this person actually has dementia.
[00:49:56] I got an uncle that's deaf and he like for years just never got the cochlear implant.
[00:50:02] I don't know if he has a cochlear implant or he got some kind of...
[00:50:06] He just went deaf over the course of his life.
[00:50:08] He wasn't too much fucking Judas Priest.
[00:50:20] Yeah you just sit with like headphones on and like listen to music.
[00:50:24] But that'd be like if you lost the ability to say slurs.
[00:50:33] So he went deaf I guess and then like...
[00:50:36] From all the autistic guys writing the train screeching when you tell them to get off.
[00:50:52] I would love it if CNN let me write an article calling someone out for making fun of trains.
[00:51:02] They'll let basically any asshole write on that shit.
[00:51:07] But yeah no he got good at like just pretending like he was listening to people.
[00:51:11] And then he got the fucking whatever his ears are fixed now.
[00:51:21] Or you can just turn it off when your wife is bitching.
[00:51:27] Hell yeah me and Adam high five that didn't pick up but...
[00:51:51] And then I'm just reporting on Instagram.
[00:51:54] Yeah see what else we got on Instagram.
[00:52:14] Shout out to Ellis for fixing his tractor.
[00:52:18] Former wide receiver Calvin Johnson said he smoked weed after every time.
[00:52:31] I keep getting targeted pay per view ads for this expense for his port or fight.
[00:52:43] Yeah if you can think of people I should invite.
[00:53:30] They probably got black eyes in the Holocaust.
[00:53:32] It would be great if they just like a retcon.
[00:53:34] The Holocaust would be black people in that movie.
[00:53:38] And then the Holocaust is just German black
[00:53:48] Would the powers that be in entertainment
[00:53:53] Well apparently they're letting Denzel play Magneto.
[00:53:55] One of the most powerful Jewish characters in any movie.
[00:53:59] The bad guy that can bend metal with his brain.
[00:54:06] You learned how to bend metal in the Holocaust.
[00:54:11] How he should have stopped the Holocaust?
[00:54:14] Yeah you think you said something about making the trains go backwards or something?
[00:54:21] There's a million ways you could do it.
[00:54:22] If fucking everything's made out of metal.
[00:54:25] Hitler had a bunch of metals on his shit.
[00:54:29] He could put a metal in a pitillers ass.
[00:54:32] All the metal, all the shit you could do.
[00:54:37] And his metal bending powers weren't as powerful.
[00:54:39] I think that's probably the making excuses again.
[00:54:43] Listen I would have loved him in real life Magneto.
[00:54:47] So you know that he can use his powers to
[00:55:00] That's the only way his powers can be activated.
[00:55:06] If there's a great injustice happening.
[00:55:25] I read that on Mike Lawrence's Instagram.
[00:55:31] Magneto wanted the Holocaust to happen because he used to be good.
[00:55:35] And then he became bad when he got older.
[00:55:45] What's up with all these autistic kids trying to stop global warming?
[00:55:52] People keep sharing that and it's like what because it's a fucking baby.
[00:55:56] No I thought I mean I thought she's cool.
[00:55:58] I thought this six year old is telling me.
[00:55:59] I've been seeing people talk about how she's annoying and stuff.
[00:56:05] My sock pockets to follow you and reply to all your shit.
[00:56:08] That's where your timeline is filled with.
[00:56:19] Like that Indian god at like nine different computers.
[00:56:33] I think it's they replaced Pepe with it.
[00:56:38] I don't even remember what Pepe looks like now.
[00:57:14] Groiper refers to an exploitable illustration.
[00:57:16] Bevida for agressing his shit on the internet cans.
[00:57:20] Variations of which are commonly used as profile
[00:57:23] avatars among the alt-right and the new right or whatever.
[00:57:29] And then the first comment is from English hedonism.
[00:57:32] The alt-right proving they are unoriginal tossers yet again.
[00:57:42] Just get your ass fucked with like a powdered wig on.
[00:57:52] I'm a big fan of clown memes in general you know.
[00:57:56] Do you remember that was like a thing like clowns in the heart.
[00:58:00] They're like yeah like people were going around neighborhoods dressed like clowns.
[00:58:04] I don't think it was clowns in the hood.
[00:58:05] I think it was just yeah people were trying to be scary with just as clowns.
[00:58:16] I all my imaginary friends are scary clowns.
[00:58:24] Honkler clown Pepe also known as Honk Honkler.
[00:58:29] This is an original name Peppo clown is a depiction of Pepe the frog wearing a clown.
[00:58:34] It's so funny that people are like afraid of this.
[00:58:39] Billy Clinton gave us the speech about it.
[00:58:50] Nick with clown memes first they started the clown memes and I said nothing.
[00:59:00] Which is what you that is what you are.
[00:59:02] Oh interesting because because now people like there's black billing and there's clown
[00:59:09] They both deal with existential anxiety which is like black billing I guess would
[00:59:14] be the lean in the the nihilism of the absurdity where his clown peeling is laughing at it.
[00:59:21] Oh like a word clown joke or a move versus uh Sartre answer to those aren't the same guy.
[00:59:39] Ko is gay. Oh of course with a name like that.
[00:59:50] Can you come over and Foucault me in the ass please?
[00:59:58] Do you think he he had a boyfriend named Succault?
[01:00:05] Dude I would fucking smash those twins in the Austin Powers movie.
[01:00:16] You can say I have some personal experience without how they were.
[01:00:19] I fucking with with their pussies specifically.
[01:00:27] Yeah let's go ahead and Google these in a major way.
[01:00:33] I guess there's a lot of pictures of white women dressing up as Spook me and Foucault.
[01:00:38] Hopefully none of them have media jobs now before they get canceled.
[01:00:44] I think it's comedian should instead of just striking back at other comedians we should
[01:00:50] We should start doing this to fucking the people that began this process.
[01:00:55] Because it wasn't comedians that did this.
[01:01:01] Comedy didn't have a problem until fucking Lindy's stuck her fucking big fat nose.
[01:01:08] I do love that it is funny that the first one of these was Daniel Tash right?
[01:01:16] And it's like remember who she pointed to as the example of Louis.
[01:01:27] And I love the like hubris of all these comics now they're like yeah I have nothing I'm worried about.
[01:01:33] You like you look back at my history and there's nothing I'm worried about.
[01:01:37] And it's like okay we'll wait two years and see where the goal post moved to.
[01:01:41] And they're like well what do you think the goal post you're going to move maybe just be decent.
[01:01:49] You know I mean because it's like like by chance or not by chance it's just because like none of
[01:01:56] this really has to do with principles at all it's like fucking good guys and bad guys and
[01:02:03] It's not even virtue signaling I mean it's like so clearly like you know someone dug through
[01:02:08] and found all of Megan Amram's like old like problematic tweets which by the way are very
[01:02:12] fucking they're really and they're from 2011.
[01:02:18] Like Barack Obama was not for gay marriage in 2009.
[01:02:24] Well even then it's like I mean I guess the counter argument is like yeah comedy is supposed
[01:02:28] to evolve or whatever and it's like okay that's fine.
[01:02:31] It's like but nobody's like yeah this guy's lazy and he's not funny.
[01:02:34] They're saying he should be fired because his ideas are dangerous and hateful.
[01:02:38] So you don't get to make the claim that like oh it's not boundary pushing it's just fucking
[01:02:43] you know lazy or whatever it's like well then what are you afraid of.
[01:02:47] You know it's like you really this you know you're going to try and tell me that SNL is a
[01:02:51] meritocracy and the funniest guy in the world are on that show.
[01:02:55] No I mean he literally pushed a fucking boundary like oh what's the boundary.
[01:03:03] It's the fucking boundary that Colbert discovered.
[01:03:07] And then because they're worried about you know like oh well we don't know what's going to
[01:03:12] Also behind closed doors like I guarantee you behind closed doors Stephen Colbert was not like
[01:03:18] cheese I think I really hurt that sui girl's feelings.
[01:03:22] The fucking conversations that motherfucker was having that week were not like oh
[01:03:25] all this introspection and worrying about fucking people's feelings.
[01:03:29] They mark that for being the career's bullshit that a fucking ball.
[01:03:35] And then Sui was like yeah he's like I'm really sorry they fired the intern that
[01:03:39] tweeted the joke from the show if I remember crying.
[01:03:43] So but not no consequences for him other than apologizing.
[01:03:58] No she doesn't like show her titties does she?
[01:04:05] Dude should we start our own only fans?
[01:04:07] Honestly I kind of think about it dude.
[01:04:14] I have to show my cock do I have to beat off?
[01:04:16] I would date every one of these Asian women that are mad.
[01:04:28] I like that your last girlfriend was technically still Asian.
[01:04:35] You just said it's part of Russia which is part of Asia.
[01:04:41] The caucus mountains separate your your
[01:04:50] You don't want me to answer that question.
[01:04:57] No I think I was thinking of someone else
[01:05:00] who has her titties out that it was not so we park.
[01:05:12] That'd be so funny if they're like digging up old tweets but you dig up old news.
[01:05:23] And you're saying that Shane can't say that but you got perfect tits.
[01:05:29] That would be hypocritical to have nice ass titties.
[01:05:34] And I encourage everyone to have nice titties.
[01:05:47] And that's my piece on the whole issue.
[01:05:52] Fuck I have this giant Greek chocolate bar that I keep nibbling on.
[01:06:03] I'm going to just increase increasingly larger and larger chocolate statues
[01:06:09] And then one day I'm going to eat an entire replica of the Eiffel Tower.
[01:06:23] In Vegas we have I think a one to three scale Eiffel Tower.
[01:06:27] I think the chocolate would go bad faster than you could eat it.
[01:06:38] If something went bad you wouldn't have waited till the end to eat it.
[01:07:01] All right so we have funny moms on Monday.
[01:07:08] I only know of one person in this book.
[01:07:23] I'm going to be gone for that one though.
[01:07:26] And I will be in Fort Wayne, Indiana on Friday and Indianapolis on Saturday.
[01:07:33] Fort Wayne and Fort Brandon get sucked off and Louisville on the 29th.
[01:07:45] And then October 11th I'm in the Flying J in Medford.
[01:07:52] It was probably stupid to do this show but if you live in Medford New Jersey or surrounding parts
[01:08:14] Nick and I have both been depressed so.
[01:08:18] It's a really nice Mediterranean lunch before I came here.
[01:08:33] Buy Nick's t-shirts at come.town slash I'm gay.
[01:08:48] I'm actually coming out of the closet in this way.
[01:08:50] So buy those and come see us at Funny Moms.
[01:08:58] I mean I don't know which side to be on but I want to be part of the violence.
[01:09:07] In Africa they call her Sister Violence.
[01:09:13] That Elizabeth Warren fucking selfie articles you said in the water.
[01:09:17] That was one of those so fucking sweet.
[01:09:30] It's like well his image is what changed.
[01:09:37] I'm wearing a suit that's not what fucking made Frederick Douglass.
[01:09:50] I'm assuming it was a bitch of something.
[01:10:17] If you see Elizabeth Warren tell her I said to fuck off.
[01:10:31] It's funny because people are like why?
[01:10:33] I mean they're like Bernie supporters are paying too much attention to this Elizabeth Warren thing.
[01:10:38] Well it's like they are but that's because no one is paying any attention to it otherwise.
[01:10:43] Like there's like zero fucking acknowledgement of it.
[01:10:47] It's like it's like any other fucking person.
[01:10:52] She told people she was Native American so that she could like get jobs and stuff.
[01:10:58] No she did a 23 in me which is so stupid.
[01:11:01] There's evidence that no evidence that had benefited her in any way but it's like again what matters is
[01:11:11] The people do the same thing with this cancer cancel culture stuff.
[01:11:14] They're like oh yeah oh cancer culture and fucking exist.
[01:11:17] Show me one comedian that didn't just immediately get paid more or whatever.
[01:11:20] And it's like well the most part it's like you like you can't even pick out the guys that in like
[01:11:26] the local scene someone was like he was creepy to me and now he doesn't can't fucking even go
[01:11:34] You're picking guys like Louis C.K. that have been like an international fucking celebrity.
[01:11:39] And also on top of that it's like wasn't your goal to make it so they can't work again.
[01:11:45] So you're saying like oh the thing I tried to do didn't work.
[01:11:49] And it's like how is that a fucking defense of anything that shitty be I know.
[01:11:53] It's like oh yeah we tried to drown that black guy.
[01:11:56] It didn't work so I guess racism isn't real.
[01:11:59] Dude when that speaking of that fucking nerd Seth whatever the fuck he tweeted how like
[01:12:04] he was mad that Shane was at the stand.
[01:12:07] It's like he's so wait okay you took and he can't do SNL.
[01:12:14] The motherfucker can't do 25 dollar spots at comedy clubs anymore.
[01:12:18] Literally he can't make 25 dollars doing stand up comedy because he said something you didn't
[01:12:25] Even if he said something fucking completely fucking heinous.
[01:12:39] Certainly some insane woman or I don't know I saw some woman saying that Seth Simon was like
[01:12:45] And then I like just retweeted with the Michael Jackson like popcorn.
[01:12:51] And then someone just DM made a warn me that that woman's not credible.
[01:13:04] The national inquire as actually the first one who broke the Monica Lewinsky story.
[01:13:08] Oh the tweet is unavailable it's been deleted.
[01:13:26] Come to see us live and suck us off and eat our bowls etc.