Cum Town | Premium | 12/25/2016
[00:00:00] Okay, this is the premium episode for this week pre-recorded, you know, I don't know,
[00:00:14] We couldn't schedule that, probably for the best.
[00:00:15] Everyone seemed angry that we were going to have him on anyways.
[00:00:20] Which, you know, I guess is good, whatever.
[00:00:24] You know, I mean, the real motivation is just to get people to listen to the fucking shell.
[00:00:30] We were going to record Sam in my apartment.
[00:00:33] I was going to make him kiss the Mazusa to come in.
[00:00:37] It should be funny to make him wear a Yama-Kud.
[00:00:41] I have a blue flame Yama-Kud that I would have made him wear.
[00:00:46] My problem is I can't say no to people.
[00:00:49] So it could be like if it's the world's most famous Nazi, they were like, can I do this
[00:00:55] It's just a Nazi head in like the drama water.
[00:01:01] And then they'll start listening to the show and then they'll stop being Nazis when they,
[00:01:06] that's what I delude myself in the thinking will happen.
[00:01:10] Somehow, as somehow irony is going to convince people to not be racist.
[00:01:13] I mean, like that famous Paul Cost quote, where they're like, first they came for the
[00:01:20] It's like, first the communists had Nazis on their podcast.
[00:01:25] And then they came for me, but I had already bought in a PS4.
[00:01:36] We're all going to have PS4s and I'm going to go back to gaming, folks.
[00:01:41] I'm going to go back to gaming and just be, you know, I watch, you know, you like Demonius
[00:01:46] There's big fat guys on YouTube who are just angry and their lives seem to suck and they
[00:01:52] live in the middle of nowhere, but they have gaming.
[00:01:54] And that's like the thing you think you watch these people and you're like, how do they
[00:02:01] It's a religion, you know, so we got Felix got big, big Felix.
[00:02:05] And I got big, big Felix from a trap house.
[00:02:16] We do, we do lease it also from Anthony community.
[00:02:34] AC AC DC is stands for Anthony Kumi a dice clay.
[00:02:40] Dude, I went to I did a show at a club and they had they had Andrew dice clays smoked
[00:02:54] It's the world's shittiest planet Hollywood.
[00:03:02] You just have like, fucking Sam Kittis, a comrades on the wall.
[00:03:10] Paulie Schor went to the funny bone enrichment and fucked like one of the wait staff and
[00:03:15] nutted on the couch and then refused to clean the comma didn't clean it up and then had
[00:03:26] That story comes courtesy of Joe Haffey.
[00:03:32] Well Joe Haffey was the one that told me Joe Haffey is a friend of the show.
[00:03:37] My friend I remember that you guys don't know the fucking.
[00:03:46] I'm not a bald guy that you were friends with.
[00:03:50] I just cut my hair short as a style choice.
[00:03:58] I try to limit the amount of bald guys I'm friends with because you never know when
[00:04:04] We also don't know for sure the cancer isn't contagious.
[00:04:08] The science is still you know, that's still out.
[00:04:13] You must have sex with an albino virgin.
[00:04:18] That's actually what Pizza Gate is about.
[00:04:24] Hillary has Parkinson's cancer and they have to get all those kids to her so she'd stop
[00:04:32] You suck the sweet nectar out of their balls.
[00:04:33] Did you guys talk about that tweet will found yet where somebody tweeted like the entire
[00:04:54] I want that tweet as a necklace and a rocket.
[00:04:57] That's like you remember the funniest day of the last year, the day where she collapsed.
[00:05:03] And so okay you remember when she like walked outside of the apartment and she clearly took
[00:05:10] And she has the huge sunglasses on and goes, I feel great.
[00:05:15] So yeah, Podesta like took a syringe of Child Com.
[00:05:20] And like it was like with pulp fiction.
[00:05:23] Child Com by the way is what they call tears.
[00:05:30] What's in the little kids balls if it's not come?
[00:05:34] It's just that pepper and chinese juice.
[00:05:38] That's the biggest thing the Italians ripped off from the Greeks.
[00:05:46] When I worked at Papa John's and made you sit through these like training power points.
[00:05:50] Fucking Papa John's corporate wasted all this money getting someone to design like, you
[00:05:54] know, SharePoint training modules for every new hire at Papa John.
[00:06:02] Don't it doesn't matter if the people if you called up Papa John's and you were like,
[00:06:06] what are the toppings and the guy on the phone was like, oh, fucking no.
[00:06:10] And then he'd be like, I said, I don't fucking know.
[00:06:12] They'd be like, all right, well, I guess let me get a large pepper.
[00:06:15] You know, there's nothing you can do about right, right, right.
[00:06:22] But when I was taking the training modules, they explained all the toppings and they're
[00:06:25] like, we have what's called a Papa Bella mushrooms.
[00:06:29] And it's like, well, what's the difference between Papa Bella mushrooms and portobello
[00:06:39] I like to think it's just like mushrooms that they cut out using a stencil of Papa John's
[00:06:46] So it's like they're exactly the same shape as Papa John's dick.
[00:06:49] Then they send an Orthodox rabbi and just suck the excess mushroom juice.
[00:06:53] Do you guys see that picture of Papa John in like a Kentucky game?
[00:06:58] Just furred, just fucked up out of his mind.
[00:07:03] Really that people see him around Kentucky Louisville just like just walking into part.
[00:07:11] It's not even like one of my longest party Republican.
[00:07:17] One of my longest running Wikipedia of vandalism.
[00:07:22] So I added a whole section of the Papa John's page about like an incident that happened
[00:07:26] in like the flagship Louisville, Kentucky store where John Schnatter came in drunk and
[00:07:33] was like insisting that everyone calls him Papa.
[00:07:36] And he was like, I'll show you how to make a fucking pizza.
[00:07:39] And he was drunk and he like threw up all over the place and then locked himself in the
[00:07:42] office and like took off all his clothes and was like crying in there.
[00:07:50] I know he's fake citations and it stayed on there for like six months.
[00:07:59] So I guess every pizza guy is super concerned right because Dono's is Catholic.
[00:08:06] And then Herman Cain was Godfather pizza.
[00:08:09] Well, is there is there a liberal pizza chain?
[00:08:12] That would suck if it was like Caliphate.
[00:08:21] It's the wall that's changed in the basement.
[00:08:28] This is a place to have very little seizures.
[00:08:39] I mean, you guys remember Air America when they made that.
[00:08:49] And I was like a liberal ass teenager at the time and I was like, oh, this is gay shit.
[00:08:54] I'm the people that would like this in the sun.
[00:08:56] My mom would keep it on in our house and it would just be like Marin talking about how
[00:08:59] depressed he was and then being like, we got to beat Bush.
[00:09:02] But if they did, they took the same process, thought process for that.
[00:09:05] They're like, we need a liberal pizza chain to take on Papa John's.
[00:09:30] They have that town in Florida, the Domino's.
[00:09:35] I worked at most of the pizza restaurants.
[00:09:47] But you know, it's only at the same time.
[00:09:50] The thing about all these pizza restaurants, they all have the same exact business model
[00:09:54] and they're all a ticking fucking time bomb.
[00:09:57] Because when they hire drivers, they ask you to show proof of insurance.
[00:10:01] But what they don't tell you is that in like a shit ton of states, like I know New Jersey,
[00:10:07] all the insurance policies are written with like a like a like a live free and like courier
[00:10:15] exclusion clause, which means if they even find out you're delivering pizza with like
[00:10:20] a regular, you know, personal liability insurance policies will fucking drop you and you'll
[00:10:32] So if you get into an accident with a pizza delivery, if a pizza delivery driver hits your
[00:10:34] fucking car, God forbid like runs over you in a fucking crosswalk, the insurance company
[00:10:40] They're going to find out they were delivering pizza and they're going to say we're not covering
[00:10:45] And then you have to fucking hire a lawyer and sue the pizza restaurant.
[00:10:50] And the fucking pizza restaurants leave their employees that had like, you know, they hang
[00:10:55] Like, I don't know if it's the managers are trained this way because a lot of those guys
[00:10:58] just work their way up, you know, to the manager position.
[00:11:01] But you know, they'll tell you if you get in an accident, they're like, yeah, just, you
[00:11:04] know, take off your hat real quick or take the topper off your car.
[00:11:07] And they'll like encourage you to commit fucking insurance for us.
[00:11:13] You're your personal policy has to cover that.
[00:11:17] You're doing exactly what they told you to do.
[00:11:21] They just think, you know, oh, it's easier instead of paying for insurance for our employees,
[00:11:26] we're going to make them pay the insurance.
[00:11:29] We're going to pay them $4 an hour because they have to make it up in tips.
[00:11:33] And it's like, it's a fucking nightmare.
[00:11:34] So pizza delivery guys in Jersey are basically like Chinese diplomats.
[00:11:39] They can like commit crimes and disappear.
[00:11:47] No, that's something the exact opposite.
[00:11:51] Any employee of, yeah, they have diplomatic vulnerability.
[00:11:57] That's what I'm saying is if you get into trouble delivering pizza, you're extradited
[00:12:11] All those companies are fucking pieces of shit.
[00:12:15] There was a fucking Apapa John's guy that was like murdered on the job.
[00:12:21] Oh dude, so many people get jumped in Baltimore delivering pizza.
[00:12:27] I mean, routinely, like it's just like, you just know you're happy if they don't beat
[00:12:32] There was a shapel bit, right, about delivering pizzas in DC.
[00:12:41] I mean, like it sucks just getting jumped when you're not carrying.
[00:12:50] But you probably feel worse when you get jumped that way.
[00:12:53] It's like if you get jumped and you're wearing a hat and it flies off.
[00:13:02] Well these guys just when they're hungry for pizza, like if criminals want pizza in
[00:13:05] Baltimore, they'll just like order a shit ton of pizza and then just take it and then
[00:13:09] just rob the guy after he delivers their pizza.
[00:13:12] It's actually like I'm jealous of it as a scam.
[00:13:15] Do you ever like wish you had the moral ability to be that much of a piece of shit sometimes?
[00:13:21] Yeah, I think I don't think it's the moral, but I think I am kind of a piece of shit,
[00:13:28] Like I sold weed in high school, but then like the second it was like I had to like
[00:13:33] buy more than like, you know, like scary amounts of weed.
[00:13:37] And it was like you're dealing with people who sell Coke and kill people.
[00:13:40] I was like, all right, I can't fucking do.
[00:13:41] I'm just too much of a fucking pussy to fucking, you know, I almost got, I thought I was going
[00:13:46] to die at a form in Mills parking lot because I was like, because I just fucking, I went
[00:13:52] in my mom's fucking gold care of Dodge Grand Caravan to buy a ton of weed from some guy.
[00:13:58] And it was just like the scariest looking guy, just like mean mugging me like I could tell
[00:14:03] And then just like the actual guy who I knew is little brother.
[00:14:06] That's the only reason I had this hookup like popped up after the other guy investigated
[00:14:12] And then just like a siren came off and they sped off.
[00:14:16] They were like in a fucking awesome car.
[00:14:17] And I thought I was going to, it was just a fucking fire truck, but I thought I was going
[00:14:25] What was the high school drug dealer saw about the, did you have like, Pellet Pellet?
[00:14:33] I mean, I'm guessing it's what like, if I could bet right now I would put a hundred
[00:14:45] I used to have, I used to rock a little South Pole.
[00:14:48] I liked a little, but just, but the, I didn't want it to get too, I didn't want it to prominent
[00:14:58] Have you ever seen Mark Echo like who he is?
[00:15:03] Have you ever seen Mark Echo who he is?
[00:15:12] I was watching a documentary about this radio show in New York, Stretch and Bobito.
[00:15:19] Like they like, yeah, they had like, nozz and big, you know, these people on.
[00:15:25] And it was like just like a white kid from the Upper East Side and whatever.
[00:15:30] So like one of the talking heads on the documentary is Mark Echo and he is such a clown.
[00:15:36] Like, yeah, he's just like a white dude.
[00:15:37] He's wearing one of those like military style baseball.
[00:15:41] He's just like, yeah, he just looked at you.
[00:15:54] You only wear those if you're like on probation or the head of the military junta.
[00:15:59] I don't like they're for women who are into break dancing in theory.
[00:16:05] Like women that would imagine themselves to be very good at break dancing or starting
[00:16:11] the races in the Fast and the Furious movies.
[00:16:13] All the break dancing kids in high school were Asian kids.
[00:16:23] And the break dancing kids eventually turned into martial arts kids.
[00:16:26] And they would fight each other behind the school.
[00:16:28] I remember my friend Nick one time he found this folding chair and he like walked out.
[00:16:31] I remember watching him walk around the corner in the back to where all the Asian kids were
[00:16:35] fighting each other and he's swinging the folding chair and he's going, oh, you didn't
[00:17:03] He was he the only guy that had the song where it was his name?
[00:17:21] You would say I'm, I'm an ass man, but he never said I'm Mr.
[00:17:28] He literally, I talked about this last time too, but it was like literally in his theme
[00:17:36] I thought his, his theme music was a scabbard of it.
[00:17:45] I love wrestling and how racist she was.
[00:18:00] It's like, but he also, he's a Jami son.
[00:18:04] And he used to like do gay stuff as like a troll.
[00:18:12] He was like, that's such a, that's such a fucking cool.
[00:18:14] My favorite wrestler as a kid was Sting.
[00:18:18] Sting had a run in our, when we, in our, when we grew up, they used the coolest guy.
[00:18:26] You remember the red, the wolf channel?
[00:18:27] You mean Chilelle wanted to take that picture.
[00:18:36] So what his deal was like, you know, he's like, oh, you ever see that movie, The Crow?
[00:18:40] It's like that, but just short of copyright infringement.
[00:18:46] I don't know, Sting, but it's so different from the musician that basically I steal everything
[00:18:51] and put it together and no one can get mad at me.
[00:18:59] Wrestling was like, I mean, in the 80s, it was like all cool racist stereotypes.
[00:19:05] But they should do one now by like BuzzFeed and MTV Newspeople that it's like, oh, my
[00:19:33] A very brief period when it was super fucking popular.
[00:19:38] When I was in the, I was staying a little bit into Stone Cold.
[00:19:44] So my exposure to wrestling was fucking Raw, Raw's War and SmackDown.
[00:19:51] The only the two shows that were on network television.
[00:19:53] Raw was on, Raw was on, was on, yeah, yeah.
[00:19:57] Maybe I'm thinking of the Raw's War game.
[00:20:00] But yeah, SmackDown was the only thing I ever really watched.
[00:20:08] Fucking SmackDown, Sentinel, Voyager, seven days.
[00:20:13] Voyager is kind of a piece of shit, but Sentinel was badass.
[00:20:18] In seven days, I actually considered watching that again.
[00:20:23] Well, they get the news from like a week in the future.
[00:20:27] Were you talked about this on the show before?
[00:20:28] But seven days is like Anthony Lataglia or something.
[00:20:36] There's like a, yeah, four brothers or three brothers.
[00:20:40] So you can go back in time, seven days.
[00:20:42] With this machine that you have to balance from the inside, like a ping pong ball.
[00:20:49] So you can only go back in time, seven days, and he has to prevent things from happening.
[00:20:52] Hell yeah, I'll just go back in time and fuck, dude.
[00:20:57] I'll just go on dates and like, it'd just be like a really shitty version of Groundhog
[00:21:03] I feel like anybody that goes back in time, like you think like, oh, you know, stop Hitler
[00:21:08] But it's like, you would go back in time and realize how inexpensive things were comparatively.
[00:21:18] We would just buy all of the Lower East Side if we go back in time.
[00:21:21] I think we would have, I think it would have been if you could do basic math and you were
[00:21:25] literate to be a fucking millionaire businessman.
[00:21:28] Andrew Carnegie didn't finish school past like seventh grade.
[00:21:36] There's also no laws back then like regulating finance.
[00:21:39] So like pump and dump schemes were like, yeah, that's fair game.
[00:21:42] Which is weird because all the other menopoli.
[00:21:44] So many SEC rules are like because somebody figured out a way that like capitalism is
[00:21:51] And then they cheated for a while and they're like, I guess we should make this illegal.
[00:21:54] Because there's nothing really morally wrong with that, you know, to fucking say, hey,
[00:21:58] everybody invest in this stock and you get the stock price to go up and then you don't
[00:22:06] And that's like the premise of all flash trading.
[00:22:09] It just with that, you're supposed to like not know whether it's going to go up or down.
[00:22:14] So as long as there's uncertainties, as long as you're not definitely.
[00:22:25] If you were in Wall Street in like fucking 1880, the guy you're going up against for
[00:22:30] promotion, like he's going to die because he doesn't wash his hands.
[00:22:35] If you know basic things, you're fucking set.
[00:22:40] I would eat some fucking rotten pork chops or some shit because it's just like, I would
[00:22:45] spend so much time in those fucking Chinese opium deaths.
[00:22:52] Do nothing but have awesome haircuts, cool spats, and getting sucked off when a Chinese
[00:23:02] For me, it would be all opium dens building railroads.
[00:23:14] Where one of those bathing suits that covers your entire body?
[00:23:18] At the segregated beach, you don't want to offend anybody with your nude body at the
[00:23:23] beach where blacks and Chinese are banned.
[00:23:26] You could, well, they could be there as chairs, but otherwise you would be like a fucking
[00:23:31] Olympic gold medalist in everything because everyone you're competing against doesn't
[00:23:36] know that you're not supposed to drink two pints of beer before you.
[00:23:49] Everyone, everyone like the linemen were like 200 pounds.
[00:23:56] So we're just like punching you and shit like that.
[00:23:57] Well, you know what's crazy is that you know how you watch movies and they say no animals
[00:24:00] were harmed in the making of this film?
[00:24:03] You know, you go back like 20 years, they would just kill animals in films.
[00:24:07] Like a, a even bigger like Hollywood thing was like stunt men.
[00:24:10] They used to just kill them all the time.
[00:24:13] They would fucking just die and they'd like put their bodies in a dumpster behind the
[00:24:17] It was like an extremely dangerous job.
[00:24:27] I think something like nine people died making that bridge.
[00:24:31] And it's like nobody's favorite bridge.
[00:24:38] It's like if people died building the Epcot Center.
[00:24:43] But, but yeah, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,
[00:24:46] the wages were actually a lot more fair than people think.
[00:24:57] Well, I had some time to kill and in between age 20 and age 30.
[00:25:03] So I made my way over to the transit museum.
[00:25:06] And, uh, well, it's like there's this plaque on the wall or like, you know, like a fucking
[00:25:11] info, you think, post whatever the fuck is called.
[00:25:15] And, uh, it's like, uh, like, uh, these guys would get paid, uh, you know, 50 cents a
[00:25:23] And then they have like the prices of everything.
[00:25:26] And it's like a new hat cost, uh, five cents, you know, and it's like, well, that hat now
[00:25:31] would cost me like the entirety of like a week's paycheck at least.
[00:25:38] You know, it's a fucking hat, like a nice bowler hat.
[00:25:41] So that was a portion of their day's pay.
[00:25:43] A beer was a penny, you know, so it's like they were doing fine.
[00:25:48] You know, their, your rent was fucking $4 a year.
[00:25:52] Like, can you believe how little they got paid?
[00:25:58] I went to the, I went to the tenement museum.
[00:26:00] They're like, can you believe these conditions?
[00:26:04] And plenty of like Chinese people still live in those conditions and no one gives a shit
[00:26:11] They're like one guy going through that.
[00:26:18] This one guy is 15 city blocks to himself.
[00:26:23] I feel bad for those fucking like those people.
[00:26:24] I would, I would file all these complaints with 311 like on their behalf because the
[00:26:28] building didn't have heat in the mid, I would wake up in the middle and I'd shivering,
[00:26:33] I could see my breath in the fucking light coming through the window.
[00:26:37] And they're like, yeah, it's very cold.
[00:26:39] They like asked me if they could cut a hole in the wall to reroute the radiator because
[00:26:43] they said, my grandparents are afraid of the cold.
[00:26:54] So the only one that spoke English was the little kid, right?
[00:26:58] Well, the dad kind of spoke English and then yeah, the son and the daughter spoke English.
[00:27:12] You're going to make these disgusting jokes about people I know in my life.
[00:27:31] They literally will just close the complaint.
[00:27:33] The building I lived in has had an open boiler complaint since 1995.
[00:27:42] You know, like because we were talking about that Oakland warehouse fire and shit.
[00:27:45] It is like, yeah, those codes exist for a fucking reason.
[00:27:48] And I hope the people that ran that building go straight to fucking jail.
[00:27:54] You know, but it's like even with the codes, like the city's not going to fucking do anything.
[00:27:59] They'll just make those people homeless.
[00:28:02] Because the fucking the landlords have more, you know.
[00:28:10] They just fucking shut down a bunch of those like shitty warehouse buildings that you just
[00:28:14] You're like a day to fucking take your shit.
[00:28:17] They're like, all right, find somewhere else to live.
[00:28:18] That was actually because of Rob Zombie.
[00:28:20] He got them to foreclose in all the warehouses so he could make more videos there.
[00:28:27] House of a thousand corpses was actually the name of my tenement.
[00:28:33] What are we doing for the last two years?
[00:28:36] What are we doing for the holidays, huh?
[00:28:37] I'm doing Jewish Christmas in New York.
[00:28:46] Chinese food Christmas Eve down at Wohop.
[00:28:51] And then Second Avenue Deli Christmas Day.
[00:28:59] I was going to say in all the Jewish basketball games.
[00:29:01] Actually, one of my favorite things is being in New York during the holidays when everyone's
[00:29:08] It's like the fucking I'm legend, dude.
[00:29:10] So where New York used to be when it was all Jews?
[00:29:13] Or it was ruined by wasps that want to be artists.
[00:29:20] I'm using my parents' money to be the next Andy Warhol.
[00:29:24] Well, I haven't actually gotten around to doing it in the dark yet, but I have been shopping.
[00:29:29] The New York real estate blog is just trolling.
[00:29:34] And the New York Times real estate section is the most infuriating.
[00:29:43] I don't even think about the fake walls.
[00:29:46] There are four people living in FIDI in a one bedroom apartment, four young professionals,
[00:29:56] I mean, and I think they all pay like 1100 each a month.
[00:30:00] For like a shitty as apartment in FIDI, because they just moved to New York.
[00:30:06] I mean, half of them are like Katie, his parents gave her a budget of $80 million a month.
[00:30:15] And she knows she has to pinch pennies, you know?
[00:30:17] And so now she found an 18 bedroom apartment with nine fireplace.
[00:30:24] You know, yeah, there's a Ferrari in the building.
[00:30:31] And you know, she knows it's not perfect.
[00:30:34] You know, it could be a little bit better.
[00:30:38] She's doing what she has to do so she can make it as somebody that continues to spend
[00:30:45] I mean, that was like during the financial crisis, I thought they were trying to format
[00:30:52] Because they would have all these articles that were like, for some NYU students, they
[00:31:02] It's fucking these people bitching about, you know, having to live.
[00:31:05] It's like, you know, there's people moving here to do comedy that live in like East New
[00:31:13] Remember fucking Justin lived in Jamaica?
[00:31:24] sympathy to make me feel, um, so I'm gonna do that, I'm about going to go um to check
[00:31:36] Yeah, I thought he lives in like inward washing and heights. It's 168 Jesus. No, that's yeah
[00:31:41] That's washing and heights it goes up way higher. It goes up to like to something. Yeah in the Bronx
[00:31:46] No, no no in Manhattan. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I've been there one time
[00:31:50] It took forever to get there go there that takes a little higher, but fucking get there. Yeah, you take the hey
[00:32:01] We're pretty well. We're all pretty lucky. It's not you should move to Brooklyn though
[00:32:05] Yeah, Brooklyn in the story or the only I mean bed sign a story are the only yeah, it's affordable. I like my place a story at school
[00:32:12] I like a story. I live there when I first moved here. Yes, you're it's fucking tight
[00:32:16] Dude, there's just like old people old Greek people arguing outside. Yeah
[00:32:20] Good-ass Jaro's the food is good as shit. No, it's fucking awesome. Yeah, fuck. I'm hungry
[00:32:25] You guys want to eat after this you're always hungry dude. You know what offer rescinded to eat with me
[00:32:29] I don't want to break bread with you if you're gonna fucking disrespect me
[00:32:32] I told you I'm an alpha on the last podcast and I'm gonna fuck you up dude. No, dude. I'm gonna punch you right now
[00:32:45] Do we talk about how shitty what kind of punch was that Felix?
[00:32:49] Stop a super use out paw or no, I'm Orthodox. Oh, yes, okay, so just stop just hit Nick with two jabs
[00:33:01] Let's box bitch put on some fucking head gear and I'll box your ass
[00:33:04] I have I have my moi taglips here if both of you just use one glove
[00:33:10] New type of boxing I invented well there's have you ever seen a X arm?
[00:33:19] Remember when like when baseball came out that was kind of a reaction to like in the 90s where they're like
[00:33:24] It's the 90s we're in the future now. It's time to make everything for the future
[00:33:28] Fll right roller derby got real popular and you remember slam ball. Yeah, I do want to play slam
[00:33:35] But the reason why slam ball is a commercial failure is because it's a thing that anyone can do right and you want to go do it
[00:33:42] It would be like watching professional laser tag
[00:33:45] Fucking bullshit. It's not a spectator sport. It just makes you want to go have fun like oh this is the world series of water slide
[00:33:52] We can shit about that right, but one of them was
[00:33:57] Was fuck it a while no X arm is something new, but it's the combination of arm wrestling and
[00:34:04] mixed martial arts so it's two guys chained to a table
[00:34:08] Oh, and they start off with the arm wrestling thing and then the match starts and then immediately one guy will swing around
[00:34:15] Which reminds me of like if you've ever heard of trunking no trunking is like I think it might be like a jersey thing
[00:34:24] But because dog fighting was I cracked down on so much
[00:34:26] They just put the two pit bulls in the trunk of like a fucking El Dorado and then drive around you know for 20 minutes
[00:34:32] Oh my and then pull the truck pull the car back into the parking garage
[00:34:35] They open the trunk and whichever dog is dead is the loser and at that point it's like just play dice
[00:34:47] Your that's this Schrodinger's dogfight experiment
[00:34:53] See the winner is but yeah X arms pretty tight. This is also chess boxing which is all the same thing
[00:34:59] Yeah, you just fucking you do a round of boxing and then you play chess
[00:35:02] Which is like you know the probably the most Russian thing I've ever heard my entire life
[00:35:07] But if you're like a good enough boxer, you don't have to yeah, you just knock the guy out right right right
[00:35:13] Yeah, yeah, eventually they just get to boxing. Yeah, it is kind of like a personal tug of war with your own physiology
[00:35:19] You know like it's like can I you have to not damage your brain as much as you know
[00:35:25] You can dole out punishment, but you guys do you guys remember murder ball?
[00:35:29] Yeah, yeah, I felt so bad for those guys. Yeah, yeah
[00:35:34] But Duke doesn't work anymore, but I'm still fucking man
[00:35:39] And it's like the only reason you will fuck that person up is because no one's going to feel comfortable fucking wailing on a guy in a wheelchair
[00:35:46] Doesn't have remember the like the arm arm and legless guy who got went into MMA
[00:35:50] Yeah, and then they had one fight and the guy like immediately just started stomping on his fucking
[00:35:55] His hand his pillowcase attached to a fucking head and they were like oh never mind. I guess
[00:36:01] Wait, he was armless and legless. Yeah, no arms. No way
[00:36:04] Yeah, he was a good general amputee and he like he had the he had a fight with like a fighter and the guy just sort of like
[00:36:11] kept at a distance with him right one to fifteen minute decision
[00:36:15] But he was like win or lose it shows it anyone can do anything and it's like I'm I'm sorry that really isn't what that you did
[00:36:22] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah that showed that there are limitations
[00:36:29] Yeah, I'm sorry. It's amazing that you did this but this had the opposite absolutely yeah
[00:36:34] Absolutely the result of like early 90s programming with children with like, you know, you really can do special
[00:36:42] Let that man, you know, I don't know hold seats at the movie theater. There's something he can do
[00:36:47] There's a job for him. Well that guy that guy's married as a kid and he's like a motivational speaker
[00:36:53] Harmless and like what yeah, yeah, that's good fine. Let him do that great piano player must work. Yeah, you know who is a really
[00:37:01] You must be a really good murder ball player who Stephen Hawking actually well. He's the best murder chess ball player
[00:37:17] Yeah, if you just fight you could fight a wheelchair guy you just have to get the higher ground. I think yeah
[00:37:22] My friend Mindy used to take care of this this guy was cerebral polity
[00:37:26] she was like his caretaker and I would hang out with them all the time and
[00:37:29] Christoff was really into like professional bull riding so he would have he had like the professional bull riding gear
[00:37:36] The underwear and people would like come up and be like is that what happened? Yeah?
[00:37:44] My favorite part about that guy he had this like really oppressive girlfriend that was also like disabled in a way and
[00:37:50] The only word he could say was her name
[00:37:52] Which is a kind of romantic and like a you know in one way, but she would just like harass him
[00:37:57] She'd be like say my name. I'm not getting off the phone till you say my name or whatever and constantly like telling and
[00:38:10] Servicoles he was like what was wrong with her?
[00:38:13] She might have also been because cerebral palsy isn't like a cognitive. I mean it can be a cognitive
[00:38:18] Thing it's mostly your body. Yeah, which is what makes it so fucking sad. Yeah, you're a prisoner. Yeah
[00:38:25] You ever been to a rodeo and powerful body. I don't know in Texas. I've been I know in New Jersey actually
[00:38:32] Really? Yeah, my grandparents lived in like a little like a mobile home community like down the street from
[00:38:40] From the rodeo from the the cow town USA rodeo. Yeah, there's a place called cow town in Jersey in Jersey
[00:38:48] Yeah, that's how Jersey that's yeah, that's yeah
[00:38:50] Yeah, really on the on the drive like when you're you turn off 95 the Atlantic City like exit you pass
[00:38:57] Cat town. Huh. Yeah, that's where my grandparents lived. Oh, where was when I know a different set
[00:39:02] What's that the ones in the shore or the different set? Oh, yeah, my dad's parents who were dead now. I remember
[00:39:08] Go to the rodeo. I went to the national finals rodeo with my family. That's how they died actually is at the rodeo
[00:39:13] My grandfather was like my grandfather was like I could do better than that kite bull
[00:39:32] I think a lot of people like exaggerate how racist their grandparents are it's like a fun bit for millennials
[00:39:38] We like my racist grandparents. It's like you talking about they're on Facebook, right?
[00:39:43] You know, they're probably more than you are
[00:39:46] Something about it. We're just fucking born into a fucking
[00:39:51] De-segregated world, but yeah, no my grandfather was pretty racist
[00:39:57] He fucking there was like a building that burned down in West Philly or whatever my family was I don't even want to fucking quote him
[00:40:07] Starts with this. Oh, I'll tell you why that building burned down
[00:40:13] Making as bad as you want in your head and that's how fucking bad it was my grandma
[00:40:18] Just got a divorce at 86 years old from her like fourth husband and this dude was so fucking racist
[00:40:25] We were in London and fourth husband. Yeah, well, she's she's a she's a special kind of like she likes to get it in
[00:40:30] She you grandma likes to get fucked big time. Yeah, well, yeah, and it's also like yo Charles
[00:40:36] I don't respect you because you fuck my grandma like yeah, I do not respect you
[00:40:40] I don't have to treat you like she looks good. Yeah, you know for ages stuff. She's cool, too
[00:40:45] She's like really but she got married to this fucking racist guy and every time we're when we were in London
[00:40:50] We saw a Muslim person. He'd be like oh the pajama gang is here. He kept calling the pajama
[00:40:55] It was fucking terrible Charles. Yeah, he was he was awful man. Yeah pajama gang
[00:41:01] Yeah, in Greece. They didn't even have like real race like they had I mean they did
[00:41:05] But it was like races we guess Albanians and speaking of racism you go here about this truck attack today
[00:41:10] Yesterday yesterday the truck attack in Berlin, you know, I don't I feel like the truck attacks don't bother me as much as
[00:41:17] bombings I guess and it's sort of humanizes them. I don't know why but there's sort of like a
[00:41:44] Kidnapping well warrior stands for Wahhabis Mario
[00:41:48] That's why Wahhabism is you know derives from Mahhabism
[00:41:56] Right, you know that game like Mario is shea and Wario is
[00:42:02] like when when Mario like takes a mushroom that's like shea mysticism oh
[00:42:08] And but Wario like you remember in Mario 64
[00:42:12] Wario comes to Peach's Castle and like fucks it up that's real law
[00:42:15] Yeah, because he shouldn't be able to have a castle. Yeah, yeah her face is out. I'm gonna put the shea woman in a cage
[00:42:25] Yeah, actually most all Italians were Muslim at one point they derived from yeah wait. No one died in Berlin though, right?
[00:42:32] No a bunch of people died. I 12 people died 50 people went to hospital in a Christmas. It was a Christmas card
[00:42:37] Last I checked too. They don't have they haven't found the guy yeah, they detained the wrong guy at first damn
[00:42:43] Well, he ran away. Please is actually run by reddit. Well
[00:42:47] What's so funny about that is like you know
[00:42:49] They do they make like such an effort to avoid any kind of like Islamophobic backlash
[00:42:54] That they like don't want to release any details and then they arrest the wrong guy who's a Pakistani guy
[00:42:59] And then they'd be grudgingly announce like yeah, it was a Pakistani guy
[00:43:04] But we have to you know just it that's this is the real evil here is it you know
[00:43:09] All the people that work with refugees and all the people who earnestly came here seeking asylum
[00:43:14] They're like oh whoops. It wasn't actually a Muslim
[00:43:17] Profiling anyways, I love that. Yeah, it would be funny if this guy was Swedish or so
[00:43:23] Right well the truck was from Poland so they're saying it could be
[00:43:28] From Poland it was probably an accident
[00:43:38] It was a Polish gut it was like some hair brain Polish shit like duct tape
[00:43:53] Yeah, they are retards Polish people would do 9-11 by accident. Yeah, I can't wait for Russia to invade and kill all the polls
[00:44:03] Can't wait for the murder all the poops grabbing that shit up dude
[00:44:07] That's always funny like with Ukraine when all the like Obama Democrats are like Obama has to do something about Ukraine with like
[00:44:15] About half of Ukrainians or Nazis. Yeah, like they all idolize this guy Stefan by Dara
[00:44:21] Who was a Nazi collaborator during the war?
[00:44:24] He's a national hero and he's all over like the Euro made in slogans. Oh, yeah, they still love the SS and you got yeah
[00:44:31] Yeah, they're like the Ukrainian division of the SS are still like, you know, they respected or what's like 95 bowls
[00:44:38] Didn't didn't Reagan go to some memorial in Ukraine for like their SS division?
[00:44:44] I know you're talking about I think it might have been Germany though
[00:44:46] Yeah, I for whatever reason I thought it was Ukraine, but Reagan Reagan never went to Israel while he was in office
[00:44:51] Yeah, he went to some memorial for SS soldiers and he was like, you know
[00:44:58] Everybody in this war was a victim on both sides
[00:45:09] Did he fight in the war Reagan no no fucking movie star who's getting his dick
[00:45:14] So he was already a movie star at that point. Oh, yeah, yeah, he was yeah
[00:45:17] He was a movie star pretty early on he's in 30s. He used to be a real handsome guy
[00:45:20] Yeah, I mean even as an old guy. It wasn't bad. Yeah, it's funny
[00:45:24] You look at like politicians or whatever you laugh at them for being ugly and then you remember that they're like 900 years old
[00:45:29] Yeah, I mean you see a picture like really Trump is like the only guy that was never attractive. Yeah, right?
[00:45:35] He was always like young Joe Biden. Yeah, Jesus Christ. He was sexy as shit. Yeah, you don't deserve any power
[00:45:40] Are you a nice life? Have you seen young Mu Margadafi?
[00:45:46] More sexy gorgeous and then by the time you you know at the end of his life. He just looked like he was melting
[00:45:52] You know, he just looked like his face was well, that's how aging works dude
[00:45:55] You look like an old bitch dude. You look a little horrible
[00:45:58] He looked like a like a one of those like
[00:46:02] Cartoons of who's the lion in in Robin Hood the Disney King John. Yeah, King John. That's what he looked like
[00:46:08] I thought I look like a Puerto Rican like grandmother
[00:46:11] Yeah, he's really like a really good robes and shit. Yeah, I was a boring
[00:46:18] I don't make fun of that person's specifically but that girl on Twitter with the the Persian grandmother who like shook the egg
[00:46:28] There's this girl on Twitter who's like
[00:46:31] My grandmother just cursed to an egg and buried in the backyard. That's indigenous Persian
[00:46:37] Hashtag that's dementia. Yeah, I've known plenty of Iranian people and like I'd none of them had weird grandparents doing retardages
[00:46:47] They were mostly well adjusted normal people
[00:46:50] Yeah, that's not like that's not part of Islam or Zoroastrianism or behind like yeah, that's just
[00:46:58] That is only what happens when you have Alzheimer's. Yeah, you're an old crazy bitch. No, well the piss drinking thing is real
[00:47:03] What you're in therapy? Yeah in in Persians pretty big. Yeah, then was it Persia that would pay extra money for Polynesian piss
[00:47:13] Polynesian piss was like a hot commodity back in it. Yeah, wow. Well, right. I thought it was young like young
[00:47:20] That's that's like a that's Chinese Chinese people still drink. Yeah, they boil
[00:47:28] There was a good thing with that guys going around to boys schools and stealing all the piss
[00:47:34] That's that's like the beauty hood dude. I fucking love the cultural revolution
[00:47:39] It's like the algorithm that they did forget how to be like, you know have any kind of culture so they make shit up like that, you know
[00:47:46] Wait, is that post malice? I feel like it has to be recent. Yeah, that can't be an
[00:47:53] It sounds ancient. Yeah, it does. I'm a boys piss egg yesterday
[00:47:57] We would sound hard to like introduce that like 1980 like guys. I got a new idea
[00:48:03] I don't know it's like shit. I see happening in Chinatown. It's like this has got to be a new thing. They're just
[00:48:12] No, the piss thing is because it piss was used as like a mouthwash
[00:48:18] It was like yeah for like hygienic purposes. So yeah, it was like sterile. Yeah, well
[00:48:24] I guess because of the Yuri your acid or whatever fucking it helped clean your teeth
[00:48:28] So people used to rinse their mouth out with piss and I think Polynesian piss. I mean this is like that's something I read in like fourth grade
[00:48:37] You're just looking at goat scene reading about yeah
[00:48:40] Goat scene dolphin sex you remember that one dolphin sex dolphin. Oh, yeah. Yeah, well the the fucking
[00:48:47] Uh, yeah, they have the homosexual nasal sex. Yeah, really? Yeah, they're the only animal in the animal kingdom that has nasal sex
[00:48:57] Dolphins dick looks so weird. It looks like uh, it's prehensile right it's prehensile
[00:49:01] But it looks like it looks like if you just like turned on a soft serve machine with no cone
[00:49:08] So it's good. It's like, you know weird star shaped, you know hanging like yeah, it's like a big tongue
[00:49:13] Yeah, it looks like a tongue incredibly smooth
[00:49:18] Guys this is a 100% promise if the patreon hits
[00:49:23] $20,000 we're gonna go to see world and we're gonna make a dolphin fuckstavros
[00:49:27] I'll suck a dolphin off for 20. Of course you will. This is the benefit of having a Greek on the show
[00:49:36] To boldly go into new genders that no one has thought of before I want to fuck a dolphin girl though, dude
[00:49:41] I'm not gay, dude. Yeah, they've got big pussy. So they have big pussy
[00:49:45] Yeah, no they do that's why I get weird out when I hear about people fucking farm animals
[00:49:50] And it's like have you seen how they impregnate a cow
[00:49:52] You shove your entire arm in there like if you if you feel comfortable, you know like that cow's not gonna fucking laugh at you
[00:50:00] Put your regular human size dick inside of it dude. I saw my friend
[00:50:04] Those huge leather sleeves that they get the the male horse or oh, yeah, it's horses. Sorry to fuck
[00:50:11] Yeah, and then they give it to stevo. Yes a drink. Yeah. Yeah. He spits it into a
[00:50:16] Horse pussy. Yeah, the shit Monsanto does is so fuck
[00:50:22] Yo, what's up? I'm stevo and I'm here with Monsanto and this is drink of horses calm to put a farming family out of business
[00:50:31] To sue a farming family when I throw the come up on their property
[00:50:35] And then I sue them to get the comeback and take their farm
[00:50:38] That's the sinister side of wild bois is that they were they were just sponsored by monsoon
[00:50:45] It's stevo and crisp onius and they go to Thailand and the show's called child boys
[00:50:54] Do you remember we were we were talking about um
[00:50:57] It was you and me. I remember it was like a long time ago. We were talking about how people do like hashtag food porn
[00:51:05] Like puppy porn when it's like a cute puppy. We were like what if like there's just a picture of the baby
[00:51:19] Just baby porn if you had to fuck an animal, what would you fuck?
[00:51:23] I didn't we talk about this already. Yeah, like we did seven times. Yeah. No, you always ask the same questions
[00:51:29] All right. All right. How about this? We had to fuck
[00:51:33] Did I answer your mom the first time around because it's it's a good place for that classic. That's pretty good
[00:51:38] That would have been good. Yeah, well, I don't think Felix has said which animal he wants to fuck
[00:51:49] A lot of people would probably like go for the primate family because they're like it's closest to humans
[00:52:00] His young gorilla boy has arrived. I would uh a scissor with a bonobo because they're a lesbian culture
[00:52:13] I think we mentioned that because the idea at first you totally can you hear you hear what animal would you fuck if you could
[00:52:19] And then you think oh and then you're like, I've got the pick of the litter
[00:52:23] But then you realize that's not a choice that you want to make
[00:52:25] Right, right, right? There's no good option because it instinctually you think as a consumer
[00:52:29] You think I've got all these options. Absolutely capo is it?
[00:52:32] Yeah, I can I can buy whatever I can fuck whatever I want and then none of the options are good
[00:52:39] To remind you that you don't really want to fuck any animal. That's true
[00:52:42] You know what I think is messed up is that you could watch any animal having sex on youtube
[00:52:49] Except for humans. That's not true, dude
[00:52:51] You can watch humans fuck if you just put in sex ed video
[00:52:54] For anything anything for you anything for educational purposes is allowed on youtube so if you type in breast exam
[00:53:01] You find breast exam videos and then a million comments from like boys from like Saudi Arabia
[00:53:09] To see breast. Thank you. Oh man. I have sex, please
[00:53:14] Jim goat who I'm sure everybody fucking hates uh, but uh, Jim goads website used to have uh
[00:53:22] Like all the search terms that led people to his website displayed on the sidebar
[00:53:27] It probably still does but I remember going to his site one time and it on the sidebar
[00:53:31] One of the search terms had brought somebody to his website was uh, it is allowed for uh muslim boy to suck his own penis
[00:53:43] That was that that's going to be the cause of the muslim reformation
[00:53:49] Like the martin luther of islam is going to be like no self-suck is allowed
[00:53:54] God gave you the ability and god created doctors so you could remove your ribs
[00:54:01] Damn dude. There's little boys not only can they not see tays, but they have to get fucked all the time by men
[00:54:08] A little bit in Saudi Arabia and that's why that's why I think the boys piss thing because afghanistan used to be a normal place until like
[00:54:19] In droves and and prior to the russian invasion well the boy fuckers went into the caves and then they came out
[00:54:28] I don't believe that drinking boys piss in drinking first of all the egg thing makes it so much worse
[00:54:34] It was just like they like a drill right what the that it actually happens because I saw that on a I thought it was like a trick
[00:54:40] That it's like a myth that the chinese do that no, it's real. Yeah. Yeah, it's 100 real
[00:54:47] Yeah, the egg if that if someone's eating an egg
[00:54:50] Because the hard boiled eggs already kind of gross. Yeah
[00:54:54] That's what i'm fucking saying. It's like what's the last thing I would want if I had to drink piss
[00:54:58] What's the last fucking thing I would want in it and with the exception of like oysters
[00:55:03] Right, you know raw oysters with boys piss. It's the hard boiled egg
[00:55:08] Yeah, I think it would be good for a sponge cake
[00:55:12] You know the sugar over over powers it and it's
[00:55:19] If you mixed piss into like flon. Yeah, yeah, exactly a piss based flon stops. Stop's ordering some boys piss for the fighter
[00:55:28] I'm gonna make a fucking butternut squash soup with boys piss. I thought the basis for uh, soilant was boy piss
[00:55:34] I think that's like it's the silicone. I love that everyone was getting sick off soilant. That should have started
[00:55:39] Yeah, yeah, well I was working with nimash. We were writing on that show and nimash is like yeah
[00:55:43] I just got soilant or whatever and I was like what the fuck what is that?
[00:55:47] That was my first exposure to it and I remember I was saying to him like you're gonna get fucking sick, dude
[00:55:52] Like that's not it's just slim fast. You have to eat real food
[00:55:55] You can just yeah fuck like drink nothing but milkshakes you're gonna fuck up your digestive track
[00:55:59] You know he's like nah dude. They got everything in there. It's like that's not how like
[00:56:04] It's like two weeks later that company was like facing trouble
[00:56:08] What's your shit like does it just slide you probably have constant diarrhea. Yeah, there's no way you have solid stool
[00:56:14] There's nothing for you know for the club. There's no fiber. Yeah, you're not really retaining any minerals or anything
[00:56:20] Yeah, I think that's the funniest thing about it to me is like how hard is eating for you?
[00:56:25] Right. You can't just like eat toast or something. Yeah, well you got a code dude. You need well
[00:56:31] It is all those dudes. It is all those guys. Yeah, the smoothly thing like having a Vitamix makes sense if you like don't get any fucking produce
[00:56:38] It's really making a salad is the most inconvenient fucking food prep there is. Yeah, they're like cut up lettuce
[00:56:44] I don't have time for that shit. I mean god damn businessman. Absolutely. I got giant TVs to buy over here boys
[00:56:50] I'm keeping the box in the apartment by the way
[00:56:54] All points of egress are encumbered by a giant fucking TV box that I hope when this place eventually burns down
[00:57:01] They find my charred remains clutching all of my podcast equipment
[00:57:10] Just fucking screen printed directly on my headstone
[00:57:15] I want people to know that I died as I lived miserably
[00:57:21] The pursuit of more consumer electronics
[00:57:25] Actually, you know what my old apartment the one in Chinatown it did catch fire really yeah
[00:57:29] I there was all these I heard I remember that I heard all these fucking fire trucks and I'm sitting at my computer
[00:57:35] And like there's all these loud sirens. I'm like shit. That must be a big fire
[00:57:39] So I go to like the you know look on twitter. I'm like big fire man. I go to the fdny's
[00:57:46] And there's my address like you know five alarm fire. Yeah, but my fucking my old address
[00:57:52] And then there's like a pounding on the door and I open the door and this chinese lady is I fire fire
[00:58:00] And you think in the moment you would be like panicked or whatever
[00:58:05] Right, and I just closed the door and like went back in my room and packed up all my podcasting equipment
[00:58:10] And I thought like how funny would be if I died
[00:58:21] gentrifying this building of Chinese people
[00:58:23] I'm the only death and it's because I was saving my bullshit podcast
[00:58:30] Which is crazy though because what happens is the fdny shows up
[00:58:33] They put out the fire and they really are heroes
[00:58:36] You think because you know they have the same aesthetic as police officers that their pieces of shit
[00:58:41] Like you kind of want to hate them, right, but they do save people. Oh, yeah, they show up
[00:58:45] If you're gonna be a racist just be a fire fire
[00:58:48] They show up they put the fire out and they're like later and
[00:58:53] This one family's apartment was just completely destroyed
[00:58:56] They bring the fire hose up there and they just soak your entire apartment
[00:59:01] There's water pouring down the stairwells and shit like so the apartment's destroyed and then like an hour later the red cross comes in and they're like
[00:59:07] Okay, so you're homeless now and we're gonna take you to a shelter where your children are gonna be exposed awful people
[00:59:17] Fuck man none of my shit has ever burned down
[00:59:21] Your house burned down right yeah when I was four my house burned really yeah like when I was sleeping and
[00:59:26] Holy shit, you had to run out of it. That's why you learned karate dude. Yeah, I had to fight flames
[00:59:34] It was like a reflection of my house burning down in my eyes my eyes watering and then when you zoom back out
[00:59:42] I was like I'm never gonna be afraid again
[00:59:47] No, I mean, that's like probably why I have trouble sleeping is that
[00:59:50] Yeah, dude. He's your four too. Yeah, that's just sticks with you. Yeah
[00:59:54] I remember watching a cops episode as a kid because I used to be terrified of fire as a kid because they you know what they do
[00:59:59] We mentioned it on the last one actually I just did my my stop-dropping world bit that never found any success and stand up
[01:00:08] Anyway, so I don't really care but I used to be terrified of fire as a kid and it's because of all that fire prevention training
[01:00:13] Which doesn't really do anything. Yeah, if there's a fire get out of the house. It's like well
[01:00:17] I was gonna do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, wait there. You know why I wouldn't try to get out of the fucking house, but uh
[01:00:23] Yeah, I remember there was a cops episode where this like the you know patrolman's driving
[01:00:28] And then like he sees through like a subdivision
[01:00:30] There's just flames and like a window so they go over there and they like call the fire department
[01:00:35] It's like family like loses all their shit and the daughters just got like her head shaved
[01:00:39] I didn't know what cancer was at the time and like my mom would explain to me like yeah, some children die of cancer and you know
[01:00:45] I remember like just in that one episode of cops like my understanding of how
[01:00:50] She was just suddenly overnight your life could become complete shit
[01:00:59] When I yeah, we had that like fire prevention bullshit for me like after our house burned down and
[01:01:07] And I was really cocky about it. I was like my house actually did burn down
[01:01:20] Our neighbors are getting their stairs like they're getting something done to their stairs
[01:01:25] And I think like one of the contractors like left a cigarette on the stairs
[01:01:30] And there I was really didn't burn that much the fire like spread to our house what yeah, it was fucked up
[01:01:35] I mean we had insurance and it was fine. We lost this we had stolen cable
[01:01:40] Oh, no, my mom got when she's pregnant with me
[01:01:42] Nice and I didn't hurt like it was fine though. Is that also how your mom became pregnant with you?
[01:01:52] Well, you know I can get you at this camp, but it's gonna cost you
[01:01:56] Have you ever seen that scene in far as gump where she wants to get the kid into the school?
[01:02:01] It's basically that kind of situation. It was really it was really bad. I mean, yeah
[01:02:06] If you want to have HBO. Yeah, I mean what's what's more permanent happiness getting? Yeah, yeah, retarded kid into school
[01:02:12] That's what actually that little like three finger rubbing motion is it's it's you playing with the clit
[01:02:18] You think it means money, but it actually it's uh, I'm gonna have to play with your clit
[01:02:24] You want this free tv? Well, that's it. That's the episode. Um, we're at a time and uh, you guys
[01:02:30] Anything you want to say to that or you just tuck her out? Yes, we want to plug monday's show
[01:02:36] At come on everybody. This is going to be airing before that. So monday the 26th boxing day
[01:02:42] Uh, if you're british or something who celebrates boccanada, canadian canada?
[01:02:46] Um, yeah, the 26 come on everybody uh doors are at eight shows at nine. Does Canada not have christmas?
[01:02:53] Uh, they yeah, they got rid of it. Oh, yeah, socialism. Well now they have what muslim christmas? Yeah, yeah, the guanza. The serians
[01:03:02] Prime minister joustin my friend growing up was muslim and they celebrated christmas
[01:03:07] Muslim's love christmas. I mean jesus. Well, yeah, jesus was like, you know, I mean he plays like uh, sort of a background role
[01:03:14] He's sort of like uh, you know, there's enders game and then there's the ender shadow series and the bible is sort of like the
[01:03:20] Ender shadow series where bean plays a bigger role
[01:03:27] My children's literature so so the muslim's uh, mohammed is master chief. Yeah, okay
[01:03:35] Is kind of like uh, cortana. Yeah, okay
[01:03:39] Well, it's sort of like yeah, jesus jesus christ is like the russian roommate and perfect strangers and mohammed
[01:03:51] jesus christ is like archie bunker and fucking wheezy
[01:03:54] jaferson is uh, jesus christ is kind of like uh, bruce jennor and mohammed is kind of like katlyn
[01:04:04] Okay, no now you've completely lost we're doing spin-offs. So well, I was just I was just doing a funny story line
[01:04:11] So I just I wanted to have a fight against. Oh, okay. Okay. There you go. All right. Cheers and frayser. I just wanted to say something
[01:04:18] Yeah, offense it. I get jesus is like frayser and mahat. Well, I guess frayser's uh
[01:04:31] Frayser, okay. Now I get religion. Yeah, we did it boys. Muhammad is the undertaker. Jesus is paul bearer. Uh,
[01:04:39] All right. I thought you were gonna say cane. Yeah cane with that more sense
[01:04:43] Yeah, um, I didn't know that imagine how big cane must be in real life
[01:04:49] Did he just like 11 feet tall. Yeah, yeah, I'm pretty sure he's the tallest guy. He's gotta be so fucking big. Yeah. Yeah, he's ugly as shit. Um
[01:04:58] Well, yeah, you gotta have some kind of growth deformity. We're talking about that guy bigfoot silver. Yeah, which is
[01:05:04] He shouldn't be allowed to participate. That's in combat sports. That's like it's offensive
[01:05:09] But doesn't get fucked up a lot because he gets fucked up horribly because he used to be like
[01:05:14] Uh, he would take TRT which is just shooting like pure testosterone into you and then after a while people were like you can't do that
[01:05:21] Right and he goes, uh, well actually um
[01:05:25] I medically need to take testosterone because I don't didn't go through enough puberty
[01:05:35] Medically need testosterone like if you're gonna die if they don't give you testosterone. You probably shouldn't be fighting
[01:05:40] Right, right, right, but ever since he was
[01:05:43] Disallowed from taking steroids or TRT. He just gets horribly mam. Yeah, and because he's so tall
[01:05:49] He falls like a giraffe being shot. Yeah, what he looks like is like, um, you know where you can do like simpsons fireself or yeah
[01:05:56] It's like they made one of those for donkey kong and then bill need binesio del tor
[01:06:04] Donkey Kong herself binesio del toro beautiful is how he looks. So that's the episode you guys uh enjoy the holidays. Thank you
[01:06:14] Thanks big dig phillips. Yeah, remember hey you know what take the time to remember that you know, we lost the war on christmas so
[01:06:24] Meaning of christmas, which is uh subscribing to the podcast getting ready to subscribe to the podcast and uh, and please
[01:06:31] Please don't be racist in our name. Uh, thank you guys