Cum Town | Premium | 12/23/2019
[00:00:00] You know what, man. I'm horny. You know what? You're a weird Harry. I'm a what?
[00:00:13] That's the episode. Thank you. We'll see you next week on our patreon bonus
[00:00:25] Do you have both along in the short versions of separate drops no you hold it to play the whole thing
[00:00:38] What does he say a thumping something good one that whole I've never seen that fucking movie
[00:00:43] I just know that scene Harry Potter. Yeah, and other people have done that. I thought that would just be good practice for
[00:00:48] Mm-hmm figuring out how it takes on that doesn't sound like the n-ward and spice in it up I see
[00:00:54] For for the culture. Yeah, it's people. You guys do it for the culture people are still saying that
[00:01:00] Yeah, there's no saying that I think so anyways
[00:01:04] So what happens if you hold down the other ones do they also like does the riff go longer?
[00:01:11] No damn, I wish it was like a whole song you can I can change it though so that it
[00:01:18] Can't do it while you're recording. Okay
[00:01:21] You can change it so that it uh, it fucking get you can hold it
[00:01:27] So it's like but it edit and then you know up and down
[00:01:31] You can also set it to loop over and over and now we're talking. Yeah, what if we just did an hour of
[00:01:41] 60's pure minutes of that we at least started the episode out like 43 minutes of that and then like two jokes
[00:01:48] That'll be good. See how long they could last
[00:01:53] But yeah, I'm more of a purist. I think it should be the whole 60 minutes. Yeah, you're probably right
[00:01:58] Yeah, but you know, I've never seen that fucking movie. I saw it in theaters. Yeah, I saw them all dude
[00:02:04] Oh, yeah, I was a big hairy head when I was young and I think it's a lot like politics personally. So I oh, yeah
[00:02:13] You know I had to watch that scene. They just I pulled it off YouTube. Mm-hmm. Just to get that part
[00:02:27] Windle, but it's like fake. Yeah, it's like what if what if cockney was invented by like Unix?
[00:02:33] Well, you would like the goblin bankers in Harry Potter
[00:02:37] Why Adam what's your original observation? It's not original a lot of people
[00:02:43] Let's hear a brand new take on the goblin bankers from Harry Potter
[00:02:47] I was just saying you know, you don't like Jewish people they have a Jewish vibe about that. I never said I don't like them
[00:02:54] No, I'm just I just don't like you're my best. No, I just everyone should have their own country
[00:02:58] I don't I disagree that I've I just observe things about them and I've never made a negative
[00:03:14] Such a good point. Yeah, I say Jews control the media and all the money. Well, that's true right is that a negative thing
[00:03:21] No, it's a good thing good. What's it? What about good stereotype? Yeah, they worked hard
[00:03:32] They are good earners they're good earners
[00:03:36] In the mafia sense of the word. Yeah, yeah
[00:03:43] That bit the bitch the rotary potters a turf. Yeah, she doesn't like trans people Maryland, baby. Yeah, go turf go turf
[00:03:53] The Turifans yeah JK Rowling's a dumb bitch. It turns out. Yeah, she didn't like Jeremy Corbyn either
[00:03:59] I have I didn't even pay attention. Jaza. I didn't pay attention at story. All right Pete Jezzity
[00:04:04] I don't know what the court case is, but I have been who cares. There's I don't know I'm multiple people the idea used to be that
[00:04:10] Gender was whatever you choose. Mm-hmm, and then sex is like, you know, if you're that's just your chromosomes
[00:04:16] But now that's you got a that's not what it is anymore. Okay. Now sex is also whatever you want
[00:04:22] Yeah, you know what I say sex. Yes, please awesome power is doing you see that I?
[00:04:26] Have seen it. I also remember I also remember that joke from family matters
[00:04:36] Welcome welcome back come on and suck my dick
[00:04:42] Welcome back suck my fucking gay shit. I was thinking about this one
[00:04:49] I was thinking about this one suck my day. That's good too. Thank you. Yeah, I was thinking about I'm a gay sex H A V E R
[00:05:00] Look at his most traps. He does feel it wrong in the actual song. I did what happened to Jezzie's he dead
[00:05:04] No, he's just living life, dude. Yeah, he's just he's rich now. You know, I still follow on Instagram is webby. Oh,
[00:05:10] Hell yeah, dude, which like I don't know. I mean I'm an independent guy. Yeah, yeah
[00:05:15] Mm-hmm. Yeah, he rules. I don't know if he's like been popular for 15 years. No, no
[00:05:22] Had one song. Yeah, that was kind of it. He was named after W
[00:05:27] Like these videos they him fucked up on cough syrup and bubble bath
[00:05:31] Just free stock. That's awesome content and I respect him for that one. Mm-hmm
[00:05:43] If you see K. R. Yeah, that one works because it's
[00:05:46] Cuz he we spelled wrong with that webby song came out my my funny joke when I was like 17 or however old I was
[00:06:05] Damn that's that's an interesting follow to have he just felt it in your heart because he wasn't hot when Instagram came out
[00:06:11] By the time Instagram came out. I forgot how he came up. I think maybe I followed like boozy or something
[00:06:15] Yeah, I also follow him. Yeah, I have yeah, I don't remember following him. He just like comes up in my Instagram
[00:06:22] Respect yeah, who was the New Orleans guy with that song about let me find out?
[00:06:28] It sounded it was find out because there was a thing where it was like there was another song called
[00:06:33] Let me find out by a guy with a name that was like very similar. Yeah. Yeah, it was like fifth
[00:06:37] Ward we be fifth for we said webby and I started thinking about before yeah, let me find out your old man
[00:06:47] That was the best one yeah, that's a sign that's something I will fucking mock you about if your father were sandals
[00:06:53] Yeah, let me find out your families from Nigeria. I
[00:06:57] Mean that's what he means. Yeah, yeah, but still it's awesome. Yeah find out your dad's gay
[00:07:03] And that you gay Nigerian guy yeah gay or Nigerian
[00:07:10] Or connotes was it there was between denote and connote
[00:07:14] denotation is like the definition and the connotation is like
[00:07:19] an associative feeling to a term I think
[00:07:23] So like something that connotes something like though like like you know a skyscraper make connote feelings of like 9-11
[00:07:30] But the denotative meaning is a tall building interesting interesting. I mean that's not really a good example
[00:07:38] Trying to take it something else. It's not and I don't care anymore. I decided I don't care
[00:07:43] I'm gonna keep you to the minute changeably. Yeah, you should
[00:07:49] Nancy the connotation is that you're gay
[00:07:52] Right. Yeah, but that also be the denotation no it would denote
[00:07:57] That what my name is name Nancy your bitch name
[00:08:06] Nah that doesn't sound right I'm gonna keep using the flip it I'm gonna keep a card named pussy
[00:08:19] Fuck you in your pussy I could have fucked someone in the pussy I could have fucked up
[00:08:26] Used to be somebody I could have been a guy who had a hard dick instead of hanging out down on the waterfront
[00:08:38] Yeah, that hat is the gayest guy that gay guys don't even wear anymore. They just put them on their dogs
[00:08:43] Yeah, we stopped wearing the hats in 91 and now it's for our bulldogs
[00:08:57] Elderly gay couple that's been on every iteration of HIV medicine
[00:09:03] Since the beginning and as a result we have T Rex bodies
[00:09:12] We used to have beautiful singing voices, but the prep did you see that article?
[00:09:17] Courts there was like an article a couple years ago. It was like people with HIV now live longer
[00:09:23] Then people without it. It was like, okay. This is literally propaganda
[00:09:28] No, dude what that means is it's just because gays guys have it and what they do is work out and don't have these nagging fucking bitch
[00:09:37] Why absolutely killing them fucking slow every fucking day they get to go to dinner
[00:09:43] They get to have sex with a cool nice candlelit dinners
[00:09:50] Yeah, they're they're tangoing with another strong man
[00:09:53] They get to take turns who's leading they don't have to carry a
[00:09:56] Tango and cash that's what that movie's about
[00:09:59] Having one of the cops sex and the other guy collects the money
[00:10:02] The best partners in the business pretending to be a pimp gay duo, I love it
[00:10:10] We're just film reviewers that just take titles completely literally. Oh, yeah
[00:10:16] So tank focus stars at war Bruce Willis and Demi Moore
[00:10:39] faults this fault in our at the cock in our ass default in our
[00:10:44] What's that movie about children with the kids are having sex? Yeah, it's like a sad teen
[00:10:49] Yeah, it's about it's a movie where you know everybody loves Mel Gibson and then a tape comes out
[00:10:55] Which was heavily doctored it was not only was it doctored it was directed at a police officer
[00:11:01] So he's kind of a hero. Yes. This was before all the black lives matter stuff. Oh, so you okay?
[00:11:08] It's when everyone was pro cop. Yeah prior to black life
[00:11:11] You can text your lies Mel Gibson statements when he said to that cop the fucking Jews control everything
[00:11:19] You imagine this is happening in Ferguson and he's saying it as he picks up a
[00:11:25] Smoke grenade and he's throwing it back into the
[00:11:31] Riot officers to me that would tell you say that word phalanx to me that would
[00:11:37] Fowlings phalanx phalanx to me that would connote that he is on the right side for the wrong reasons
[00:11:43] Because he thinks mm-hmm what he's doing is to take down the Jews and the cops are a
[00:11:50] unfortunate casualty I don't know if that would connote that I think it would denote or connote it okay
[00:11:56] No, it would do either. I don't really know where's why would connote it bitch even by your dumb
[00:12:02] And the connotation you fucking idiot don't you try and fuck with Star Wars the mind how he is wrong the mind
[00:12:10] Don't fuck with me bro. I was in the fucking the brain how
[00:12:17] I get brain and I have the brain dude. That's me dude. That's my new shit. I'm brain Disney's star
[00:12:25] Star Wars has been bought by Disney star
[00:12:27] On ice now his name is now Disney's stop us dude Disney presents that was my name from no Disney's Lewis Jacob
[00:12:38] Yeah, dude we sold gas to Disney and there's gonna be the Ralph Sutton experience at Disney world
[00:12:47] Just getting chlamydia and doing cocaine
[00:12:51] Yeah, you know, it's a really good time for like kids and stuff
[00:12:53] Yeah, dude getting to getting some being on a podcast and getting head from porn star
[00:13:00] Which by the way is a genius while you're saying the N word and that we should fucking do yeah
[00:13:05] Can we do that as part of the show do I get challenged?
[00:13:08] I get head while the show goes on did they get get sucked raw?
[00:13:11] I believe do they have to put condoms on from what I and from what I understand eat big J and Ralph at the very least got
[00:13:19] Jacked off while doing a podcast that's so which rocks mm-hmm, and I'm jealous jealous of food the girls
[00:13:44] A lot of man, right? That's so much mass elephants on parade
[00:13:52] I would look out I would look out I was not a shit
[00:13:57] You would be neither can come the dicks don't get hard
[00:14:00] Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob stuff would be baby dude. I would love to fucking centrally unchained his wallet
[00:14:14] It's just teasing sucking on the tip of his what chain wallet chain
[00:14:21] Put it yeah, that would be good. Murr. I should put him my idea through his fingerless
[00:14:25] Toulouse as a as merch for them is big J's breast milk
[00:14:31] Dude, well obviously there's not real breast milk. We make it in an office
[00:14:42] Expired of do we get it for free from behind the Chinese restaurants
[00:14:46] And we're selling it to people and encouraging them to drink it as a business
[00:14:57] It's it literally can't go wrong it's literally the bulletproof business plan
[00:15:16] Now they should start censoring wicker. Yeah, I feel like it should be censored. Yeah. Yeah, I don't like hearing the other letters together
[00:15:25] Oh, yeah, you didn't have to say it dude. Yeah, that's fuck. I don't say it. I'm saying it
[00:15:30] Dude, you said it a lot since we got the sound we got the sound board you keep saying
[00:15:34] And you're lucky make sure to bail you out proven in a courtroom
[00:15:38] But dude if Nick wasn't here you would be can't you would be so canceled again further canceled you would be yeah
[00:15:45] Gonna double canceled. Do you want to talk about what's been going on? No, okay?
[00:15:51] I'm gonna sit for a minute. Yeah, oh, I think we can talk about it. Oh, you're gonna sit on it
[00:15:56] I'm gonna sit on it like I'm a some sort of ad has been accused of having sex with a lot of children Adam has raped
[00:16:02] Mm-hmm. There's bad news. I'm gonna go. I'm preparing
[00:16:16] The baby rape Adam loves to put on his jeans and to rape a baby
[00:16:21] It is a funny visual of a baby raping you. Yeah, so like a baby bending you
[00:16:33] Fucking you into the rhythm of the dance
[00:16:39] Alien doing the Macarena or whatever remember that one no it's like the first meme on the internet
[00:16:44] I don't remember and it was like oh this is gonna be gay until we learn how to use this for racism
[00:16:51] Uh-huh, we're just firing on fire dude. Did you see Trump 2000 2002 to 2007 the internet?
[00:17:01] Throw in the fucking garbage the Golden Age is over. You see Trump dropped an impact font meme after the impeachment
[00:17:08] I didn't see that in that one. That rule bottom text, baby
[00:17:11] Good posting on his behalf. It's actually you thereafter. I'm just in the way. Yeah baller baller move his own picture
[00:17:18] That was like I had to hit that with the like you know, you know, I had to hit that with the like yeah, he's uh
[00:17:26] He's he's like that whole speech. I don't even see it. I just saw the transcript
[00:17:30] Did you see the one about John Dingle being that in hell?
[00:17:34] Funny that was it's like journalists cover it journalists cover it and they're like he's lying left and right
[00:17:40] He just said something about John Dingle in the audience
[00:17:42] Audibly booed and groaned and then you watch the clip and everyone loves it. They're like oh
[00:17:49] Clearly not you're lying. It's like an and one mixtape right you hate his fucking face
[00:17:54] You hate his base anyways, just say that they're all cheering at him. Yeah, the guys in fucking hell
[00:18:00] Like why a lot like why pretend like he's bombing all and then present evidence to the contrary. Mm-hmm. Yeah
[00:18:06] Yeah, I just love that I haven't seen him in a while and my man is really caking the tanner on
[00:18:11] He's looking healthy. He's looking golden delicious, dude. He's looking real healthy
[00:18:18] I love when you see he he he's subtly leaves a little extra under the eyes. So you know how pale he is
[00:18:23] Dude, yeah, he has like those little white rings around his eyes
[00:18:27] He let you know how fucking milky white his ass would be if you fucking plowed it
[00:18:31] And I know we're all thinking it. Oh, yeah, I know we're thinking about pulling its long weirdly long hair
[00:18:38] Who's the last blonde president we've had?
[00:18:42] Do I have the eyes in her he was bald, but I think he was blonde was Carter blonde? I
[00:18:49] Don't know corner was a redhead. Maybe let me look this up dude. I think I'll eventually eat a
[00:18:59] What is it? I think Sarah armor left a sandwich. Oh Sarah she came home out
[00:19:04] I don't know what no it looks like he had gray hair when he was president. Oh, exactly. We're Joe Thomas
[00:19:15] Washington was a redhead. I know that I probably told you that so was Malcolm X. That's crazy. He's actually white
[00:19:22] He was yeah, if you look at it's all black in my picture. So you can't tell
[00:19:27] But Gerald Ford Malcolm X Malcolm X. I've read hair actually he did have red hair
[00:19:31] And it's funny because there's a mural of Malcolm X on the block and it's just a Malcolm X from it's just Denzel
[00:19:40] Yeah, I've seen that mural. I told you that story. It's pretty sad
[00:19:43] But I saw just some like homeless guy was schizophrenic talking to that mural. Yeah
[00:19:48] Oh, I mean it's sad and I don't want to make a smiling really hard
[00:19:53] Nick has a fucking glint in his eyes. I haven't seen a glimmer
[00:19:56] I well, I imagine a worse person making fun of it and then yes, not me. It's a different guy
[00:20:03] For everyone that's about the listening this riff right now. I think is mocking a guy
[00:20:15] Yeah, you know, I can make you a red bone like that Adam
[00:20:18] Malcolm X is a red bone. Yeah, but let's just conveniently leave out the fact that just this week what let's hear this
[00:20:34] I just got y'all ain't ready to have that but y'all ready to have that
[00:20:37] Adam raped the one target baby, but y'all ain't ready to have that conversation. I'm gonna leave it at that
[00:20:52] Damn, he's spilling tea left and right is filling to eat some messy little bitch
[00:20:56] But I'm I'm just gonna curmit and mine my own biz. Mm-hmm. I don't get that curmit sipping this night done warned y'all
[00:21:04] I asked I warned your losses black women done told you about JK Rowling, but y'all didn't want to listen
[00:21:18] How come every time tell you about some you don't even want
[00:21:24] Chinese people you don't tell me this Indian
[00:21:37] Because you don't even I don't even know yeah, that's how they do you don't have to you don't even have to know where the bits going
[00:21:43] That's what imagination is for dude. You guys get to plug it in. Yeah, what's up?
[00:21:50] Running about imagination and oh that shit. Um, yeah, I'm flies
[00:22:04] A too many flies and I got up smell my dick it smells like bacon
[00:22:11] That's true yet. She's a goddamn cop. She's a fucking cop. No, I just think her pussy would taste like bacon because she's a pig
[00:22:24] What would the be the one thing you would really want pussy to taste like if you could pick any flavor any flavor ass
[00:22:35] Well a man's ass no no a man's ass you're about to get
[00:22:49] That's a silence of weaker student, I don't mind getting one of those
[00:23:04] Casey master piece barbecue chips. That's good. Yeah. Oh, those are so good. I haven't had those about the summer time
[00:23:13] You know what I love thinking about is fucking summertime snacks. Oh dude fruit by the
[00:23:18] Food by the foot some fucking some fire. I love camping out and eating my by the
[00:23:27] Casey master piece BBQ chips pretty good. Yeah
[00:23:30] What's another good flavor Capri Sun Capri Sun Doritos cool pussy to taste like
[00:23:35] Capri Sun would be off Doritos cheese. Yeah be more refreshing honestly
[00:23:39] I would I would I would go something refreshing. Yeah, you're like a
[00:23:43] Melon a watermelon can't you ever have those yeah, nice cancel up flavored or but a really ripe one a ripe
[00:23:51] You've ever had it's cold. Oh pussy was cold
[00:24:01] Drip I was zoning out literally thinking about fucking Casey bar
[00:24:06] So just push the bitch out the way mmm-hmm about that. I'm about to cop some chips
[00:24:11] Right out the carousel at the blade. Have you ever had carousel rack? Let me just get the chips
[00:24:17] I don't want your fucking bitch ass sandwiches. I'm here for chips. I'm here for chips
[00:24:22] I'm here for chips per cash. Yeah, I get the fuck out of my face and make me one of those little pizzas actually too
[00:24:27] I want and some cookies and I want a sweet onion chicken
[00:24:33] And the same and also one of those I would give me make the fucking sandwich make the same way cuz I don't even fucker
[00:24:38] I want chips. I want I actually just want the same. Yeah, I realize you don't have the chips
[00:24:47] Tastes like loose tiles fuck those but I like tastes like paint chips, but I don't want them right now
[00:24:52] So get me a fucking sweet onion, you know kids these days. They don't know about paint chips
[00:24:56] They don't know about eating the porch piece by piece and growing more violent
[00:25:02] More violent losing more and more of your reasoning
[00:25:12] I already being fucked up to begin with I eating via eating a hole in the side of your aunt's house
[00:25:21] Did lead chips taste good. Yeah, yeah, they're tasty. Yeah, I never I never ate them
[00:25:28] I can't say I did but I knew plenty of kids that did and I do think they tasted really good. Yeah getting head paint
[00:25:34] That's what they call. Oh, yeah, I'm getting my head painted. Oh, yeah
[00:25:37] From the inside out. Yeah, you eat those chips. You start tripping hard. Oh, dude
[00:25:42] Yeah, hell yeah me and the boys throwing a couple fucking grateful dead records. Yeah, dude
[00:25:47] Listen in the trip out tripping out on lead driving that train high on cocaine
[00:25:53] I wonder what that song is about. I don't know. There's a lot of new on
[00:25:58] Subdulty Casey Jones you gotta watch your speed
[00:26:01] He goes too fast because they're doing too much coke use Casey Jones
[00:26:05] I see you line of the song. Oh, okay. See Jones any relation to Casey
[00:26:15] Make the basket a lot of people think it's Kansas City, but it's got name Casey
[00:26:18] It's interesting to think Kansas City would have a masterpiece of anything. Mm-hmm. That's true. Yeah
[00:26:27] Very good if I could pick that or the Mona Lisa existing very good. I picked the chips without even questioning it
[00:26:33] Yeah, yeah, I'll give a fuck about the moans a little ass painting everyone's was easier to smaller than it
[00:26:39] Fuck do I care you got to fight through so many Chinese? I'm gonna break I'm gonna break into the Louvit night and replace the Mona Lisa
[00:26:45] Picture my dick a zoomed in photo of lizzo's ass
[00:26:51] Mm-hmm. Are you running standards of beauty you're gonna tell me this up-close picture of lizzo's ass crack
[00:26:58] Isn't as beautiful as the Marisa's why?
[00:27:13] Not only is lizzo fat that's a wide bitch
[00:27:15] That is a wide she's why does hell bro. She is wide. I will say that as a person as a fellow person of width
[00:27:23] I can say that is a that's a sister and the wide she's a wide type of sister. She is a wide
[00:27:28] Why why chairs great till they got a be great
[00:27:40] 566 type 2 diabetes 100 percent diabetic
[00:27:47] I would smash lizzo to be fair to just throw that out there. Yeah, I like that video of her doing the splits on a table
[00:27:54] I'm breaking it. Is that really her? I thought it was her. It could just be a fat woman. Of course. That's not her
[00:27:59] Yeah, I thought it was her. No, it's not her. No, I think that was a joke
[00:28:02] So it's a fucking joke you no, that's not lizzo losing her mind at some like office party
[00:28:08] And why are we taking the same video? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I retweeted. I thought it was lizzo. No, dude
[00:28:14] That's like someone mocking Liz. Yeah. Oh, cuz she's also big. She's also yeah
[00:28:19] We do a lot of ironic racism, but we got it we got a bit Adam
[00:28:23] You gotta check yourself Adam. Sometimes you get it just yeah, you gotta you gotta we gotta bring you in
[00:28:28] Instead of calling you out. We gotta bring you that's right. They say listen up you fucking heeb
[00:28:37] Gefilte of fish down why don't you yeah you got you you've got dollar signs in your eyes
[00:28:42] We're gonna need to get the pupils back here
[00:28:44] So you can take a look at these two beautiful women beautiful women of width
[00:28:48] Yeah, I'd like to get the home from in fact
[00:28:51] I would venture to say that the woman in the video is hotter than lizzo. Yeah a lot of people are saying because she's a sloppy
[00:28:58] For everyone I follow that like that fake video of lizzo falling on a table y'all are gross
[00:29:02] And we'll find any reason to laugh behind the blacks of the backs of fat women now
[00:29:08] I like that because it implies that a singular black woman has multiple backs
[00:29:14] Singular large black woman is experiencing several different stop laughing on the backs of lizzo
[00:29:28] That is you know what kind of office party was that where that lady jumped through it
[00:29:33] It looked pretty lit. I'll be honest, dude. I'm fucking get fucked up off a couple
[00:29:41] It would be funny if lizzo just had like a deeply ironic sense of humor
[00:29:44] And this is all a long con then she starts doing stuff like that and getting like caught in manholes
[00:29:49] That would be awesome like that thing with the today show with the reinforced chair
[00:29:56] You know that she had or whatever just started doing stuff like that. Did she yeah?
[00:29:59] Yeah, that was a that was a power. Yeah, that the chair a special chair with giant wheels and no armrests
[00:30:06] That's also yeah, dude. She's doing a lot for the community. You guys want to mock her but
[00:30:11] Salute to a fucking trailblazer. Yeah, you know how many times I've worried about the chair that I'm on yeah
[00:30:16] In a position like that you broke one. Did you at the old apartment? Sure?
[00:30:21] I've broken a chair here or there the faulty, you know
[00:30:28] Perhaps the chair was already a little broken to be great if you got like I
[00:30:31] You know the little guy by himself that says no and then the two guys and they're like working together
[00:30:36] They have like this that one of those same guys, but he's way fat and it just says no
[00:30:40] That would be your not allowed to have it. Yeah, nightmare. Oh, yeah
[00:30:48] They got fat people over in Switzerland or wherever the fuck Ikea's from Sweden not really because they when they eat food
[00:30:53] They just they get they grow up. Mmm. It's not fair. They eat a bunch of bullshit
[00:30:59] So do they have fat-titted bitches? They eat like whales and stuff that's something to consider salty whales
[00:31:05] From there and that way we can make us a super soldier. Mm-hmm. Sweetish. Why is she gross tall and I grow
[00:31:12] Why yeah, and we'd have a powerful son or daughter
[00:31:15] Yeah, they could you know play if it's a daughter like I feel like if you and I went over there to Sweden
[00:31:20] We'd be like exotic to them. Oh, yeah, especially me especially me too
[00:31:24] No, they would probably have a problem with you. They don't have to you know, they don't have yeah, but slender Jews there
[00:31:31] I don't think I think pretty much everywhere, but New York. No one likes Jews
[00:31:39] You're saying everywhere else. They don't like Jews pretty much people here love Jews like you work
[00:31:44] West Africa they like you fuck because yeah West Africa dude West Africa's okay with them really yeah
[00:31:50] Yeah, Senegal. Yeah, what they hate is co-teve war their Jews are albino Ghana. That's true. Yeah. Yeah
[00:31:58] We will have no problem with Jewish people as long as they have big man
[00:32:04] Because if you are albino, we will cut you up and use you for magic
[00:32:10] Top places to be Jewish New York number one. I guess Tel Aviv number two. Yeah, but you know, what's number three?
[00:32:20] Washington DC. Yeah, Silver Spring Maryland
[00:32:25] Oh Los Angeles. Yeah, I get oh, yeah. Oh, yeah a couple those I might be number two Dallas says a lot of Jews
[00:32:33] No, I mean most it's not chill to be Jewish. They're most big cities have like a Jewish area
[00:32:39] Yeah, I guess you're like the Houston as a lot of Jews. Yeah, you're showing your ass here stuff
[00:32:45] Oh, yeah, you're showing your lizzo. You're showing your lizzo literally your ass is no we can all see it
[00:32:50] It's not my ass. It's a little bit of stomach like we discussed on the last episode. I'm amongst friends
[00:32:56] This is the sliver of some reason to cover up because I'm with you. It's comfortable. I'm comfortable
[00:33:01] Yeah, holy 100% he's feeling he's feeling comfortable in his body
[00:33:07] Lizzo's out here and fucking fucking you know, all those are size chairs. It's time for us to let our tummy's hang out
[00:33:15] It's so funny whatever man those are your own body issues, bro. I know
[00:33:21] It's also my my child like way of looking at the world and laughing at everything
[00:33:27] Living in a very oh, you're very childish. I live in a beautiful world of laughter
[00:33:32] It would be awesome like, you know cartoons when I look at an awesome world just becomes dark goes black and white and it's like storm clouds
[00:33:39] Yeah, let's just wait. We look into your eyes and it goes from like bubblegums and fun shit to like just dark and
[00:33:46] Different slurs it's for contune town up here. It's not tuned. It's it's I live in tuned town
[00:33:51] I live I live in tuned town. I live in tuned. I do not live in tuned the real one if they I was actually the 40s
[00:33:57] That's true and Adams is just like the Terminator thing, but instead of you know, she's like but um what everything is worth
[00:34:03] Yeah, right get it creep shodding a minority
[00:34:09] Cloud being friends with this black person worth clout. Yeah
[00:34:13] Creep-shodding a black woman trying to read do her son on the train
[00:34:19] And she kept she keeps a boots in the trash maybe they have a warranty that I can turn into and get free boots
[00:34:31] For those not paying attention that was not a joke even though it sounded like a perfect one
[00:34:35] I found if something Adam did I found boots in the trash that had a lifetime warranty and yes, I trade them in for new boots
[00:34:46] In the dispute with Hallmark, that's where yep Hallmark Adam and there was a commercial for Adam kissing a woman
[00:34:52] They were like it's a two-lessby Hallmark. I said that they were against trans
[00:35:00] Thankfully people got mad online and Hallmark realized the Hallmark company
[00:35:08] Emotion like a person. That's the thing that we should all realize the company had a change of heart
[00:35:13] Yeah, realize that you know what it was wrong to be anti gay and now that now they're now they say gay is good
[00:35:20] Mm-hmm. It had nothing to do with money
[00:35:24] Yeah, it was a change of heart a change of diaper
[00:35:28] I've a dating show for adult babies called change of diaper. Mm-hmm, and they're like if you love now
[00:35:35] Megan and Katie are gonna swap diapers. It's like yeah
[00:35:39] It's kind of thing like it was messed up that she pissed and shitted in them before
[00:35:44] You know, well, that's how you know, I love them. It's almost some. No, no
[00:35:49] Here's what I think just joining us stops gay
[00:35:53] What if you're just we just found out what the hell you're tuning in
[00:35:56] In the middle of the episode if you're telling yeah, I'm if you're tuning in well, this gets this is
[00:36:04] simulcast on PBS that's oh, yeah, if you're kissing a lot of pussy butthole station
[00:36:17] They call that the person and the name switch after the great migration because nobody in the north was calling the post
[00:36:27] They didn't have a name for it. You know, you won't allow to look at it until jazz music
[00:36:33] Mm-hmm and then satchel page. Yeah, they used to call it home home base from baseball
[00:36:39] Mm-hmm, and then it was a man named pussy get Jefferson
[00:36:44] It just slow zoom pan shots of pussies wide open. Yeah
[00:36:53] I'm in my name pussy get Jefferson and played stride piano invented fuck
[00:37:06] Who from long order? Yeah, they have narrating it. Did he narrate it? No, but the other guy who would be good at his dad
[00:37:18] He was the voice of Dodge in the 90s think Sam water since that too. He played the father on Gilmore girls. Oh shit
[00:37:27] I never saw Gilmore girls. Actually, I saw a couple episodes because in the 19 10
[00:37:33] My sister used to watch it and they talked real fast. Yeah, what Gilmore girl? Yeah, there's it was like everyone's on Adderall or something
[00:37:42] I bought kill more girls. Okay. Show about a couple of guys taking out the trash
[00:38:03] Eat some for everybody it's charmed and then one tree hill and then kill more girls damn
[00:38:09] Shout out to charm the felicity. Shout out to charmed network TV jacking off Hall of Fame
[00:38:14] Some of the hottest some of the best stuff. Yeah, dude. It was look we didn't have pornography
[00:38:20] In the time of low-rise jeans where you could sort of see the lines that led to a woman's pussy
[00:38:26] Yeah, and what more could you really ask for yeah?
[00:38:28] You don't seem very many whale tales anymore you do not
[00:38:33] Kids these days. Yes, certainly they have high-waisted jeans and they have a lot of pornography
[00:38:38] I'm sorry. I just flipped that they certainly they have pornography, but they also have to jag off the high-waisted jeans
[00:38:43] Yeah, which is much more difficult which words in our day you could basically see a woman's pubes
[00:38:48] I want the jeans right above the pubes. I want the thong above the hips. Yes all the way up. Oh, yeah
[00:38:55] Yeah, and and that's the kind of bitch that I want and who was who's in charm?
[00:39:00] It was Christina Aguilera style. Oh, yeah dirty
[00:39:03] She was nasty speak the no the dirty video. I know she was real nasty final destination again. Nice. Oh, I realized after the last episode
[00:39:13] That was that guy was also played Stan in the M&M music video for Stan
[00:39:19] Shit Devin Sauer. Yeah, the guy from final destination. Yeah was Devin so suck my dick
[00:39:25] I'm fucking game. I don't know why I thought it was a dick is fucking small
[00:39:28] I've never seen a woman's pussy and if I did I'd cry and even if I would I would have gay say
[00:40:00] Tonight's host wait didn't someone say that M&M didn't know that Elton John was gay
[00:40:06] When they were formed together. Yeah, it's in power. Maybe he was doing a bit. Yeah
[00:40:13] That's true man and everybody knows that. Yeah
[00:40:29] I don't we're doing 50 cents if you just if you're just joining us every dollar you donate helps a retarded kid
[00:40:37] Every way if we're here at PBS raising money for retirement
[00:40:44] Hi, fuck the regular guy the regular guy sick. Can you go up there? Just kill
[00:41:18] fuck I keep for Sullivan I am maybe this guy you're that guy I don't know I
[00:41:27] remember I got a this actor is in movie famous guy although guy who got ripped
[00:41:34] recently yes it's me cool cool my hair Nick Nick Nick
[00:41:43] oh fuck silence there you go damn it cool cool me Johnny cool male none yeah
[00:41:52] we're back on entertainment tonight and everyone can't stop talking about the
[00:41:57] hot bod of ku male you could just it's just a name you can just say oh I'm sorry I
[00:42:05] got confused between his name and a different word and I Mario Lopez have to
[00:42:12] apologize yeah somebody told me Mario Lopez is gay really a guy who spends
[00:42:18] all of his time gossiping on his own underwear company is gay what are you
[00:42:25] talking about he got he hooked up with Jesse dog somebody told me that he got
[00:42:29] called giving a guy headed a bathroom oh if he was giving the guy head then he's
[00:42:33] definitely not a sopranos rules sopranos rules get his awesome they're like
[00:42:39] no I'm like a baby later did Casey's living mm-hmm dude Zach Morris has had a
[00:42:47] pretty good career after that yeah he was in suits mm-hmm Franklin and bash
[00:42:52] Franklin and I'm Franklin bash not suits Michael Charleston Michael
[00:42:57] Charles he's in some sitcom mixed issues that's still in the air is he on
[00:43:03] that I'd so I think he's the I know but I think he's the dad on mixed dish and he
[00:43:11] was in some show Mark Paul Gosler Mark Paul guys
[00:43:14] gosler gosler yeah not gosling Mark cum gosler oh take that you fucking
[00:43:21] bitch but he's been doing some he's had a good career man good for him good for
[00:43:26] Mark for bs act dude hmm Kelly Kaposki dead Kelly Kaposki's hot dude guy I love
[00:43:35] I love we're just we're just a Kelly you know you know who's Kelly's who's doing
[00:43:41] the show with Kelly now is looking Ryan Seacrest you're watching scooter and
[00:43:45] Kelly scooter and Kelly just is like I can't believe this is who they got now
[00:43:51] like I was reading the show used to be great and now it's this they got a
[00:43:57] fucking retard on that region start zone podcast commenting on the show
[00:44:03] region doesn't really think she can do me by having a black guy on there well
[00:44:08] guess what bitch I got a fucking retard you listening to Regis and the retop
[00:44:16] my name is Michael shut up shut the hell up we're talking about Mario Lopez
[00:44:23] gay a straight dude I would honestly love an uncut Regis pod dude yeah
[00:44:29] Regis talking about all the pussy got in the yeah I'm a couple of drinks in
[00:44:33] dude let him rip I would love to hang out with Regis that guy seems like a
[00:44:37] like a complete alcoholic I have no idea if he is anyone that's on I said it
[00:44:41] before anyone that's on morning television before 11 a.m. is drunk out of
[00:44:46] their mind that lady on the today show who does watching the today show during
[00:44:50] the park land shooting was great I think they still had wine on the table
[00:44:55] so they're like as a school in Florida and we're gonna have a moment of silence
[00:45:05] and then like you know they just they show you the studio and then the bar
[00:45:10] tender that's like also a DJ that's in a cage above standing there solemnly
[00:45:16] right I'm fucking yeah I had for those kids that died and then we're coming
[00:45:22] back and we've got John Cena and we're gonna feel his arms we're gonna feel
[00:45:28] John Cena's arm is promoting yeah he's promoting tag the movie you know it's
[00:45:34] a real shame what's going on down there down in Florida but I can tell you if I
[00:45:38] was there wouldn't happen it just sounds like the rock also I don't know how to
[00:45:43] do John's no that's slightly different yeah I'll tell you what if I was down
[00:45:48] there now you're just doing the wrong yeah okay exactly I love coming and doing
[00:45:53] the today show makes me think you know what would it be like if there was a
[00:45:58] tomorrow show okay the rock doing it is fine doing five on the tonight today
[00:46:03] show yeah hey good morning everybody the the Chinese run everything the fucking
[00:46:09] Chinese it's the it's the tomorrow show and the fucking Chinese run everything I
[00:46:18] guess all that trans stuff turned out to blow up in our faces
[00:46:24] thank you thanks all right kind of a non sequitur on the rest of your
[00:46:31] ratios how come we still have to go to the fucking post office oh it's a
[00:46:38] stamps I come there everywhere he has been captured and compromised to a
[00:46:47] permanent and sorry oh I know I just ran out of time with John Cena sounds like
[00:46:57] John penis John penis the marine starring John Pina's hell yeah I'm ready for
[00:47:06] another rather than bringing back let's run it back one more time you know
[00:47:11] kid I was often bullied for my name so I became the strongest
[00:47:17] biggest motherfucker that ever was ever John Pina's you can't see me I'm the
[00:47:28] invisible penis it is dude honestly that's a pretty good just him blow up fucking
[00:47:33] like marching down that the WWF ramp with like it's the hidden penis and there's
[00:47:39] just like images of people who have medically hidden penis just like
[00:47:43] Fupa's with a hole in it yeah on the fireworks like a turtle going back into
[00:47:47] the body he did be not snaz just doing the you can't see me yeah it is funny
[00:47:53] that he just went from like straight up like that his character from the WWF to
[00:47:59] just like being actually famous going from like being a wicker essentially
[00:48:04] the so we're the rock was the first guy to do that yeah but the rock yeah but
[00:48:08] the rock I don't know they all fucked up the rock had star power brother imagine
[00:48:12] how bad stone called John whatever his name called Steve Austin stone called
[00:48:16] who I did hello do not do not do that who's that who's that on the phone nobody
[00:48:22] do not check please just rattlesnake dude text what text text ass text jokes to
[00:48:32] four five three because I got a joke for you his name is Steve Austin you better
[00:48:36] chill and he's got a podcast that's pretty good yeah we listen to it and then I
[00:48:44] did that joke that you would take after that when do we listen to it dick you
[00:48:48] down remember you would do it you would I said it and then you would go around
[00:48:52] saying I'm gonna dick you down and then you try that's like their stone cold
[00:48:59] off you tried to do that we had a simple off we were just doing an impression of
[00:49:03] you tried to do that thing where that's something he did say in wrestling said
[00:49:07] we both know he never said come on down to the ring and I'm gonna do that was
[00:49:11] used to say that all the time I'm gonna I'm gonna dick you off you get he get
[00:49:16] interviewed by Jerry the King Lawler so how about you come down this ring I'll
[00:49:20] take it I'll dick you down I'll dick you up that's true Wow Jerry the King
[00:49:25] friends with Andy Kaufman yeah oh you didn't know were you better suck
[00:49:35] somebody down the fucking road dog and mr. asked it still I'll never get a
[00:49:43] back to that guy's name was mr. ass we should turn this into a wrestling podcast
[00:49:53] I like to see me it'd be funny to overnight convert this to a wrestling
[00:49:57] podcast to automatically have the most popular wrestling podcast because
[00:50:01] wrestling podcast seem to provide people with like enough money to not kill
[00:50:05] yourself but still want to all the time yeah well and to take that market away
[00:50:09] from them that's true that is we already have that's what we that's what we were
[00:50:13] at which is exactly what the undertaker would do and I'm predicting at the next
[00:50:17] Russell mania if you're just joining us I'm 38 years old open mic student
[00:50:22] workouts and I take wrestling very fucking seriously as you can see by the
[00:50:28] denim vest that I'm wearing with no plans to leave my apartment the entire day
[00:50:33] my entire punk rock outfit that I put on to stay in my apartment today so fucking
[00:50:38] do some chores to do house to do a couple of thirty nine year old I'm putting
[00:50:42] these on to podcast before I clock in and my remote customer service shop for
[00:50:47] hotels dot com I would like to make clear I am putting on a vest to pod
[00:50:53] putting on my fucking DIY AC all cops are bastard pins vest talk about I
[00:51:01] have a lovely the dude man macho welcome moment because spot show and Randy Randy
[00:51:08] savage yeah macho man yeah you're listening to you show some respect this
[00:51:12] is the Barney and friends podcast Mike Barney fan kept him on Twitter Barney
[00:51:18] fan Cleveland's Cleveland's original Barney fan basically were four guys
[00:51:24] grew up watching Barney and we never stopped and I just take not only did I
[00:51:34] I take it more seriously now as an adult than I did as a literal baby and we got
[00:51:44] there we're just like really excited to see what happens on today's episode of
[00:51:48] Barney I think they might do that I've got a sneaking suspicion that at the end
[00:51:53] they're gonna say let's take a look at what we did today and recap everything
[00:51:57] that happened and then sing clean up everybody do your clean up song yeah
[00:52:01] yeah and then the fat Hispanic girl is gonna tell us about our abuelita oh yeah
[00:52:07] forgot about that aspect of Barney oh yeah this multicultural yeah that's why
[00:52:15] yeah I'm like just two I'm like fuck is this bitch brown
[00:52:22] I'm so racist baby oh fuck yeah throwing toys every time a black person's on the
[00:52:30] street forks you fucking thing is a fork I just I'm eating with my hands yeah I'm
[00:52:37] just shoving my shit my pants mom I shit my pants you just a story about
[00:52:42] Wayne Wayne Gretzky would as a baby would watch hockey and when hockey was off TV
[00:52:48] he would start crying that would make would do never our slash yeah that happened
[00:52:53] folks okay well I like again I like to live in a world of wonder I like to
[00:52:58] dream to imagine now it's so funny realizing that like because there was no
[00:53:01] fact-checking or record of everything you've ever said and done like old
[00:53:04] people are just constantly lying yeah everything tall tales old people are
[00:53:09] like and at the time my father was the tallest man in town and also the sheriff
[00:53:14] and although to be fair that kind of shit was notable being tall the tallest guy
[00:53:19] in town but you would get like a rib everything an old person says this I
[00:53:23] perably yeah none of it is true my grandfather claimed to a loss is Virginia
[00:53:27] 12 my grandma made me sit there and I sat in that chair for four and a half
[00:53:31] days and I never got up and back then that was you know that's just how it was
[00:53:36] we would fucking all that bullshit about walking the school yeah they didn't have
[00:53:40] to walk that far to school they're lying I'd walk 40 miles to school every day
[00:53:45] that's too many miles bro but I believe a long amount of miles I don't know
[00:53:50] people in Greece my cousin still walks a lot yeah but Greece is literally it
[00:53:54] yeah Greece is the old days dude yeah but so you know so is here no Greece is
[00:54:00] maybe not your grandparents but your great-grandparents Greece Greece hasn't
[00:54:03] recovered from their downfall six thousand years ago
[00:54:08] it's honestly pathetic I imagine taking L's for thousands of years I feel that
[00:54:15] way about the Egyptian soon bro we had a good mother fucking run the
[00:54:19] Egyptians are even do you know their business they're gonna say something but
[00:54:23] the original Egyptians don't exist anymore dude the what they're what they're
[00:54:26] here's some here's a what the fuck fact they were ruined by the Greeks those
[00:54:30] that yep you guys fuck their shit no here's the shit they never got over
[00:54:35] stop fucking their shit I would listen to this okay okay that the fuck in the
[00:54:40] Egyptians are King Tut and all that shit that we know about they fuck they fuck
[00:54:47] I forget exactly all right let's get that what the fuck I forget exactly what
[00:54:52] dude something about it but something about King Tut it's about time and
[00:54:58] they're gonna grow my empire that's compared to them oh yeah yeah it's something
[00:55:04] that fucked me up I don't remember what it was what was it the length it's something
[00:55:08] the length we're closer to something than they are farther to that we're closer to
[00:55:13] the moon then fucking Egyptian people were to but also some other shit while
[00:55:19] the Egyptians or the Romans I don't remember which one was around woolly
[00:55:22] man myths we're still around all right clear patcher lips closer to the creation
[00:55:28] of the iPhone they she did to the building of the great pyramid yeah something
[00:55:34] like that that's about right but that's the framing of that is dumber than the
[00:55:38] way I heard it's also they had an iPhone in ancient Rome yeah which yeah
[00:55:44] you seven I found that is true ha ha ha ha ha that's a funny joke yeah what
[00:55:51] if yeah oh can you imagine what if they have that iPhone they'd be like who's
[00:55:55] this Pontius gelato yeah is that fucking Italian piece of shit hey hey mama mama
[00:56:03] Mia whoops a good hey listen Pontius a good man that tried as well as well as
[00:56:08] with all his might to stop the fucking bloodthirsty Jews I like they had all
[00:56:12] this technology and then those fucking morons are still going around in bed
[00:56:15] sheets just the laziest pieces of shit in the world they're like oh yeah we don't
[00:56:20] have clothes we just wear sheets okay chill out man why about Greek people man
[00:56:24] all of them because I mean look at like even in Gaul you have like barbarians
[00:56:29] just people that fucking they had pants they had pants they had pants that
[00:56:34] whole outfit evidence suggests Cleopatra was a redhead nice just like
[00:56:38] mouth nice brother just like muck mix muck a mix but apparently we've talked
[00:56:42] about this before but Cleopatra was busted right yeah you're a fucked up
[00:56:45] nose is it possible that all of the important black people in history were
[00:56:49] actually just white people with red hair Cleopatra was deaf is that what
[00:56:53] Adam no one says she's black is at the point Adam's making is that the claim
[00:56:58] stop it Nick I'm not saying Cleopatra was Greek dude for real
[00:57:03] create a patch up shut up you don't know anything about it scooter so she
[00:57:08] my name is Michael okay we're gonna take a commercial break and we'll be
[00:57:19] yeah I would pay a thousand dollars for that
[00:57:25] region in the record maybe I'll just record that on my own as a separate
[00:57:31] problem I will listen I will subscribe yeah Shakira how do you get everyone
[00:57:35] sucking about how your hips move how did you be a face move you're we are
[00:57:41] oldest shit now you look great what happened he's just talking to a picture
[00:57:47] of Shakira that's just a picture of me this I swear to Christ if you don't
[00:57:55] shut up I'm putting you back in the kettle
[00:58:06] oh shit god damn dude just the fucking losing it Regis just Regis was the
[00:58:13] bitch he looks like dog shit does he yeah playboy is not looking hot he was
[00:58:20] fucking old shit like 15 years ago yeah how's he been alive yeah he was like he
[00:58:25] did like he was famous he's like one of those guys it like you could get famous
[00:58:29] in the late 40s for like karaoke yeah just yeah literally reading people's
[00:58:33] names you can make the equivalent equivalent of like 50 million dollars a
[00:58:38] year in 1947 if you just put on a tuxedo and you're like it's Monday and
[00:58:46] tomorrow's Tuesday hey oh damn all right good night looks alright looks like
[00:58:52] you just jumped a couple of these let me see yeah I don't buy he looks like an
[00:58:55] old-ass man he looks I don't buy goddamn damn Cleopatra killed herself with a
[00:59:00] snake that's a cool way to commit suicide she put it in her pussy
[00:59:04] Brazil she yes she put it in her pussy he looks good bro he doesn't look that
[00:59:08] bad no that's a good pick he's good what is this this is just on the sword and I
[00:59:12] got fat kids he's not fat he looks good I wonder if everyone was fucked up
[00:59:19] looking about Regis go ahead okay okay okay I've I've taken too much Xanax and
[00:59:26] I'm ready to rape I'm who wants to get filmed I need to relax which one of you
[00:59:36] hoers wants my come yeah you know something like that yeah what do you
[00:59:42] guys that's what that's right brother what are you all thinking for New Year's
[00:59:49] resolutions 2020 every year ninja stars every year ninja stars my
[00:59:56] resolution is the same double the bread double the head that's all there is to
[01:00:00] it brother okay how about how about ninja Star Wars okay okay and it's it's just
[01:00:05] it's got a little more of that flavor George Lucas influence you know what do
[01:00:12] you say we're Daisy Ridley's like well you me I'm a Jedi okay all right all right
[01:00:18] but you CGI to be like an alien with very narrow eyes right and alien that
[01:00:23] just uses dogs as fuel this is the robot that needs dogs to fuel yes she
[01:00:32] found us they found a dog planet cells that they went in slave all the dogs my
[01:00:41] original idea was we were gonna cast Daisy Ridley as my personal sex life and
[01:00:48] I was gonna use a belt to attach her face permanently to my waist and I would
[01:00:57] be able to casually ejaculate into her mouth well George while interesting yeah
[01:01:03] but I thought you didn't have anything to do with these I think you sold the
[01:01:06] rights well this it's interesting this is actually the original point of
[01:01:10] contention I had with Disney that you should be able to rape the stars that I
[01:01:16] would be able to hook Daisy Ridley up to my penis like a like the way an
[01:01:23] astronaut uses bathroom and Disney didn't want that and casually a jacket and they
[01:01:30] said no damn George do you think they even brought it to Daisy's people it's
[01:01:38] very funny I had the request sky written above her house I said Daisy
[01:01:44] will you marry me and of course I meant the the tongue and gulu interpretation
[01:01:50] of marriage in which the bride is attached to the husband's penis I would
[01:01:57] can I say something I would smash Daisy yeah especially after that interview
[01:02:00] where she was like she said well she did an interview and they were like do you
[01:02:04] think your privilege had anything to do with like you navigating celebrity
[01:02:07] better and she's like no well what privilege you know you know well you know
[01:02:12] father is like a knight oh really of course yeah it's like you grew up but
[01:02:17] you're like you descend from landed gentry and you like went to a like the
[01:02:21] most prestigious acting school and there is and you know like your co-star
[01:02:25] John Boyega or whatever is from like a council estate or whatever their version
[01:02:29] of fucking yeah yeah and she's like yeah no I don't think that lady was like she
[01:02:38] responded to it like she had never even heard never considered it yes have you
[01:02:42] seen that show flea bag I was like do you want to go out with me they're good we
[01:02:47] got Daisy Ridley coming up next hopefully scooter doesn't come in his pants
[01:02:52] yeah you know what I mean buying this and pretty funny fix who's the producer
[01:02:58] who I'm liking these figs when he say the producers name this was really funny
[01:03:02] yeah he was a gay guy yeah no no it was oh god he looked like
[01:03:10] Gellman Gellman I think Oprah had a guy like that I don't know
[01:03:14] I'm just filming yeah Oprah has no is that David Letterman Oprah has
[01:03:19] stedman her common letterman have a guy like that too okay David Letterman
[01:03:25] had chewy I love a good fake shit that's a good thing I like her I'll tell you
[01:03:30] what I'd love to play who wants to be a millionaire with Daisy Ridley if
[01:03:34] but it meant that I got the fuck over a million times if we're talking about
[01:03:40] that definition of millionaire I don't I don't think that's what millionaire means
[01:03:44] you don't know what millionaire means you'll never have if you went on that show
[01:03:48] you would lose immediately one when the million I think I would do okay the
[01:03:55] first questions were always about Pokemon there were the questions were for
[01:04:00] babies you can't have a baby you give you got somebody pregnant it was come out
[01:04:06] like a fucking mule I love that I love Regis's understanding of what the
[01:04:13] mentally yeah I was not how I work I just have a speech impediment
[01:04:21] apparently I guess she was in a movie where she's dead and you can see your
[01:04:24] titties nice did you Google can you see Daisy released but the mud it might be a
[01:04:29] body double can you see her tea song for damn me and her of the same birthday
[01:04:36] maybe we can get married shut up fuck up maybe shut up just shut up why not why
[01:04:41] shut up you don't think if I told her that we have to shut up birthday just be
[01:04:44] quiet dude I don't think I could just say yo what's up like you know who I have
[01:04:48] the same birth oh she also has endometriosis like a take care of her you
[01:04:51] know what sucks you have endometriosis I'm pretty sure the only one I don't
[01:04:55] know human you're just the you're a and endo scat what is endometriosis where
[01:04:59] you're you're in lining it attaches I don't have a uterus yeah I know you do
[01:05:04] you're just you're a period you know does anyone know if this was really her
[01:05:09] titch who in the movie where she's naked on some of some of your mom's period
[01:05:15] dead mixed with the secret of the usual she said on Instagram she was diagnosed
[01:05:19] when she was 15 and it caused acne and lowered self-esteem damn she's really
[01:05:23] been through it listen if she wants me to fuck her to help I guess I can fuck her
[01:05:27] I can fuck her listen you don't want to be hilarious no one's hilarious she's
[01:05:32] gonna hear that we have the same birthday and gonna want to fuck yeah
[01:05:34] dude ever hear opposites attract no people like people my birthday my birthday
[01:05:40] is literally the opposite of her birth me her and Steven Segal have the same
[01:05:43] birthday well tell you what you're about that you're about to die on it yes a
[01:05:49] lot of deep it's a deep make of her second it's just a star wars
[01:05:57] star wars ring that's awesome oh shit oh they're fucking her in the ass in this
[01:06:02] one that that other chick from flea bag you know that show that British comedy
[01:06:07] show her father was in the Panama papers that's this is a really good one she's
[01:06:12] smiling so big she loves that it must suck to be an actress damn
[01:06:19] whoever this porn story is pretty hot also I don't know you have all this like
[01:06:23] self-respect you're like oh I'm not doing nude scenes and then series like we'll
[01:06:27] see about that bitch oh damn we'll see who walks away with their foot here in the
[01:06:32] ass and she's like going whoa really big like James Corden said something funny
[01:06:36] but they use the face to show she's getting fucked in the end
[01:06:40] this is James Corden keep working in R2 Me Too movement oh that's good bring that
[01:06:48] pun back he said damn this one he accuses C3PO of yours of sexual
[01:06:54] misconduct dude this was actually pretty good this deep fake this one actually I
[01:06:58] think I could jack off to I tell you what I'd love to tie C3PO to a fence and
[01:07:03] beat him to death dude I'm shot damn interesting who what this is a pretty it's
[01:07:10] a pretty good deep fake yeah although she never gets fucked how about deep
[01:07:14] fakes that's a better name for unnecessary sense is true beep fakes it's
[01:07:19] Daisy Ridley being like yeah the new Star Wars is great and unfortunately some
[01:07:23] of the other actresses are working with him has been very difficult because as
[01:07:29] you know I'm not and be face folks be paid be fixed I can't wait to eat be
[01:07:38] fixed they must some hike you could actually just see her real to I've seen
[01:07:42] all the fucking pictures I have to so what she's got some my favorite series we
[01:07:49] have I probably will do you remember there was a movie with some hike and
[01:07:52] Penelope Cruz called Ben Ditas about Selma kayak she's like I'm on a ball
[01:07:57] I get on the bus home I am so lost on the ball somebody has to help me I like
[01:08:04] that I want to help can you imagine something like that oh boy this is good
[01:08:09] too imagine there's a one where she's Jackie getting a guy off yeah what are
[01:08:15] we doing I'm gonna I'm gonna go ahead and just we're just watching poor you
[01:08:18] head off throw that on go ahead and bookmark and handle this later we got
[01:08:23] to get back to work you're right you're right we got like a minute left of the
[01:08:26] show so goofy using his ears as a pussy as yeah to tie a nod around his penis
[01:08:34] to keep it hard well he sucks his own day yes yes yes oh gosh gosh bang we need a
[01:08:45] Mike Breen bang anytime we get a good bang gosh gosh gosh gosh good a goofy is
[01:08:56] just supposed to be some Midwestern fucking retard I don't know dude because
[01:08:59] just a typical mid-week Wisconsin dumb yeah I would love some fucking to nuke
[01:09:07] the middle of the country all right you know if we ever go have this like a
[01:09:10] global war we get nuke first in New York but I thought it'd be I you know I might
[01:09:13] go over and speak a little sweetness to the Chinese and convince them to fucking
[01:09:17] just obliterate everything except New York and Los Angeles that beats that be a
[01:09:22] much better country brother and then you you let Los Angeles think they're safe
[01:09:27] and then boom and then it's just New York and Philadelphia oh you secretly
[01:09:33] saved Philly but didn't tell anyone we didn't tell anyone and then the Boston
[01:09:37] Army invades New York oh no becomes big Boston no fuck that dude we become a
[01:09:43] Boston will kill Boston entire Northeast becomes fuck that becomes the bean
[01:09:47] do you fucking kill boss I'll kill those fucking South E cocksuckers dude we
[01:09:53] would crush Boston if any fucking Chinese people want to come here I'll kick
[01:09:57] that fucking ass this is a video for president gee first of all it's
[01:10:02] president Trump there's only one fucking president it's Donald fucking Donald
[01:10:06] Trump McDonald oh Trump yeah do proper Boston people like proper Irish Boston
[01:10:17] people like Trump I feel like they're pretty liberal up there I have no idea
[01:10:22] gives a fuck yeah I don't give a do you want to do you want to make this real
[01:10:25] I'll ask for a fucking give a shit yeah for the bit do we got to get a three
[01:10:31] dimensional we got to make it look how about P dimension P dimensional yeah I
[01:10:36] so I'm always playing 3d chess and then it's just he's playing checkers
[01:10:42] you see I'm always playing 3d chess what much bit on my dick right now
[01:10:48] started jacking off in front of you guys spit on your hand and then on your dick
[01:10:51] either way I have never been on your dick it's a very funny sensation I don't
[01:10:57] I can't say that I think I've done it before I had well fuck I'm trying to
[01:11:03] remember because it was all kind of hung on the name but the idea for a movie
[01:11:08] were like a streetwise checkers player is taught by some like rich white guy
[01:11:13] from Harvard how to play chess and he like tears up the chess circuit his
[01:11:18] checkers moves oh I'm worried that you're gonna remember and it's gonna be very
[01:11:21] racist it was I'm trying to remember why he's making a very racist for hours
[01:11:30] great yeah that one's gone straight the hell yeah what were you saying you you
[01:11:37] want to tell a sex story that about yourself no go ahead please do I'm just
[01:11:41] saying I've on a couple time on a couple occasions of spit directly onto my
[01:11:46] penis yeah it's funny how sometimes you can nail it and then other times it's
[01:11:50] just like oh I've spit like on your mother's face I don't know she's in the
[01:11:55] other room yep I don't know how I've come completely off off completely missed it
[01:12:00] it takes a lot of finesse to nail the spit mm-hmm that's why I just I don't
[01:12:05] take any I don't take any chances yeah I just I spit directly in a woman's face
[01:12:11] I spit in there yep I have a lot of dairy the day before the dead the morning
[01:12:17] before I've got diarrhea all over the pussy before oh yeah as a sign of power
[01:12:21] that's what lions do the lion the pride is oh yeah damn I'm sure I'm a
[01:12:31] primarily check checker I don't know oh oh you know what was a residue it was
[01:12:34] just a checkered past okay that's good yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah sorry that was
[01:12:40] let down whoa but that was that was get me good I'd buy that movie yeah no yeah if
[01:12:46] I was a studio executive he'd buy it if it was free no I'm saying if I was
[01:12:50] running a major Hollywood studio buy it on Netflix yeah maybe we go direct to
[01:12:56] Netflix but make it I don't want to see that about cock flicks I remember one
[01:13:03] time we were my friend Sam's my friend Sam's graduation party Chinese Sam no
[01:13:08] Greek Sam Greek Sam the reason we called Chinese Sam Chinese Sam okay and we
[01:13:13] read his graduation party we were I don't know what the fuck we were watching on TV
[01:13:17] and then his uncle who had not said a word to us for hours before came in he
[01:13:21] was like what y'all doing in here y'all watching cock movies
[01:13:26] cock movies and they were like ha ha ha ha no I'm just playing and he didn't talk to us
[01:13:32] for the rest of the time heck I was awesome cock what y'all doing in here
[01:13:36] y'all watching cock movie maybe said cock films I don't remember but it was
[01:13:40] awesome nice I love playing an old guy thinks he crushed yeah and you know what
[01:13:44] he honestly did we fucking love that it was great no he was lying on you no
[01:13:51] dude what do you eat I want peace dude what are you planning on I'm hungry should
[01:13:56] I get fun oh shit I just checked the time and then my phone opened up and it's
[01:14:00] it went right back to the deep fakes oh let me see some more this is Salma
[01:14:05] hike and Monica Bellucci in a three Wow and if I had to guess I think one of the
[01:14:10] actresses they used is Brittany Murphy no no no alright baby girl I don't remember
[01:14:18] it's a it's a lady Brittany which is huge tits oh she's like Hispanic Brittany
[01:14:24] something she had she had small titties in the beginning of her career then she
[01:14:30] gets fake awesome titties wow halfway through she's a she's a frequent fuck team
[01:14:36] five participant okay which I had a little run jacking off to the fucking
[01:14:41] five again it's AOC and then the one from Massachusetts the bitch that bitch
[01:14:52] for message Ayanna Presley yeah she's like yeah I know my name wait didn't
[01:14:58] one of them not indoors Bernie Ayanna Presley because she's from Massachusetts
[01:15:01] I think oh shit Lauren probably leaned on her yeah she's like don't make me
[01:15:07] I think she's some arrows yeah Warren was like whoa she just woke up and saw
[01:15:13] Tomahawk Warren scalter oh nurse Salma hikes if you see that video while she
[01:15:20] strips of Elizabeth Warren and Megan Rapinoe no they're on the phone together
[01:15:24] but they're like they're both being filmed and making rapinoes in the
[01:15:27] airport yeah really have you seen a rapinoe or a Pinot I think it's right
[01:15:33] whatever Pinot sounds but I have you seen her like her
[01:15:37] sounds more native American have you seen her speech after the women won the
[01:15:42] World Cup like in New York rapinoe or was rapinoe what she said she's like
[01:15:47] she's probably intoxicated but it literally sounds like Sam Hyde doing the
[01:15:53] the TED talk no yeah she's just looking completely empty platitudes whatever
[01:15:58] dude it's like it's I've got a plan for that it's absolutely bad shit plan is
[01:16:04] we're all gonna pretend to be native American you know what I changed my money
[01:16:07] and then we can't be racist to each other you're right I'm just think about it
[01:16:11] if we were all Cherokee then no one could get mad at us there would be no
[01:16:17] white people and black people we would all just be different types of dot-head
[01:16:21] or whatever and we could all get jobs at Harvard that's good and instead of
[01:16:28] having health care now we can have it in 50 years when everybody I'm gonna
[01:16:35] when everybody likes the idea yeah I'm gonna pretend to do the thing you want
[01:16:41] mmm holy shit her titties are awesome we need ice ice is a good organization
[01:16:47] that helps kick out the people who also pretend to be native American but in a
[01:16:53] different way than I do the people that are actually Native American basically
[01:16:58] but in but not the right way not in the way that I do it
[01:17:06] slipping into a little African at the end oh I'm sorry yeah
[01:17:11] lawless that she's Peter lawless I'm Elizabeth Warren lawless hey yeah it's
[01:17:18] me Elizabeth Warren hey baby and I right hey jeezer home I'd speak yep
[01:17:32] yeah it was a bit Barney Warren merge can you believe that I'm a fucking little
[01:17:40] bit why bitch can you believe I'm a bit
[01:17:43] I'm a bit more just me little more fuck all right when I was four years old we
[01:17:53] sacrificed my dog to the rain god cock off I brought my dog out into the
[01:18:00] backyard and I suffocated him with my pussy that's really good stuff thanks
[01:18:08] man what are we doing I think I'm gonna show how about we start giving Reese's
[01:18:17] cups to Chinese people yeah we'll start there and in 75 years you'll be able to
[01:18:23] afford your prescriptions with you did one step at a time they're about to set
[01:18:28] my man Bernie up do it's not well he should stop being anti-Semitic maybe
[01:18:32] sure maybe you should stop hating on my people that's so lucky true the plan is
[01:18:40] we're all gonna download Sim City and we're all gonna design a city that we like
[01:18:46] and then we're gonna destroy it with the alien spaceship and you're gonna keep
[01:18:51] doing that until you die and that's gonna be life thank you that's a pretty good
[01:18:58] pitch on that you're gonna get drunk and you but you got to make sure you spend
[01:19:03] a lot of time on that city before you you summon that that alien spider to
[01:19:08] burn up I never played some city it was fun it ruled yeah I played the Sims I
[01:19:16] played roller coaster tycoon ajur vampires ajur vampires I fucked with
[01:19:21] I love that have to leave brother I felt like I was learned it you know no that
[01:19:26] was what I cared about I felt like I was learned about ancient civilizations I
[01:19:29] felt like I was phonetians I loved when there was war yeah hell yeah I
[01:19:35] want be concweaf in a way that made it sound like a sneeze and she would use it
[01:19:40] to get out of church and they called this Cherokee magic and I could do it too
[01:19:46] and they always said Liz you got that same Cherokee pussy farting the pussy
[01:19:53] fart magic that your aunt B has mm-hmm that is correct yeah all right well
[01:20:01] folks thank you for tuning into another episode of come town please in the new