Cum Town | Premium | 01/12/2020
[00:00:00] The officer suck my penis. This is suck my penis. Yeah, like I'm game
[00:00:16] Was like on my pocket and damn it's Friday night everybody's gay for me
[00:00:30] Just echo I mean I guess I could get an auto-tune machine. Yep. That's the next step. Yeah, there's an app
[00:00:38] No, dude, we need through the soundboard
[00:00:40] We can connect our phone. Hmm interesting. Oh, you know what what?
[00:00:45] You're number one time gay. You're number one today. I'm number two. Hell yeah
[00:00:49] Oh, well the natural order of things the power rank feels good silence
[00:00:58] Dude, you're going out the fucking levels. Give me my echo so I can do my own silence
[00:01:02] Yeah, but I have all the shit said I'm gay because you scream and it fucks up I laugh and it gives the show energy screamer
[00:01:09] Okay, just I'm a laugh. That's what they said said about you. I went to jail after you
[00:01:14] And they're like yeah, this no they made a call that was fuck called an easy body. No, they didn't
[00:01:19] He's a couple got a couple of south-sized players that used to roll up on his nose
[00:01:25] No, they did not have a little cell had a big political
[00:01:28] We had a tiny little cell that kept them back at the jail and I had a
[00:01:42] No, I was screaming cuz I was having a good time raping men the other man no no no you I was
[00:01:49] Screams of primal ecstasy and dominance called them pleasurable star love starless
[00:01:55] Pleasurable starless is my name, but it is not for that reason because you were so comfort
[00:02:00] No, man, I'll tell you just nothing I love more than getting nothing that Cadillac ass
[00:02:04] But it was the cuddles afterwards no I wouldn't cuddle I
[00:02:08] Fucked them and I kicked them out of my big cell which I got by doing a heroin dealing scheme with the warden
[00:02:16] Yeah, and you always had the freshest Jordan's on I always had yep. I had Jordan. I had Jordan
[00:02:22] Which one should I have on and you'd be doing
[00:02:28] I would I'd be and I'd get sucked off by the guard guard S's the guard S's the female guards
[00:02:37] Shouts out to the black gorilla family in Baltimore that impregnated multiple
[00:02:51] Top criminals are such so cool. There's no way around it. Yeah, the coolest criminals are cool guys
[00:02:57] They got a cool life they live because I mean it's so exciting obviously
[00:03:00] But you gotta be charismatic to get your dick sucked in jail
[00:03:03] But this is my penis I got my fucking day
[00:03:17] Everybody fuck who wants to fuck a millionaire
[00:03:21] Do do do do do do we're here on who wants to fuck a millionaire who wants
[00:03:46] Ready Adam don't don't don't fuck it up
[00:03:49] Okay, here you go you get the echo don't don't embarrass us today the listeners I consider myself
[00:04:08] Sorry, I meant black guy I didn't mean to use that word
[00:04:13] But guess what no it's over it's alright 19
[00:04:16] It's too late into my man. You kind of fucked it up. You fucked it up. I didn't you expected you to and you delivered
[00:04:27] Because it's like that scorpion that fable that I've mentioned before the monkey
[00:04:35] The scorpions on his head right and he's like motherfucker
[00:04:39] I did it because I'm a scorpion you fucking idiot and that's us giving you the echo. Yeah, I
[00:04:50] The answers how my dick hurts about this do you want to take a quick break and then we can have coffee
[00:04:57] I try this again because we were fine like this four minutes and 58 seconds into this and I
[00:05:03] Feel like I'm dragging. That's fine. All right. We'll keep this is all good. So this is good
[00:05:14] Barry the city of pooping pig getting a pussy and peeing on their women's us chicks
[00:05:21] Because I have depression this the only way we can do the show is if I do not be myself at all
[00:05:32] Yes African now and I am bowie wait until I am strapped down
[00:05:38] Glichen hospital in the in the middle of New Jersey
[00:05:47] To see if it has fixed my mental illness
[00:05:50] And they say how do you feel mr. Mullen and I say have I ever told you about the coconut and the banana?
[00:05:56] They're like he's going to need a couple of more treatments
[00:05:59] Have I ever be sure have I ever told you the story of the coconut?
[00:06:09] Every every fall. It's a fable the banana he makes food for the winter
[00:06:16] Okay, and the coconut he goes out and he has sex
[00:06:21] Not preparing the coconut wants to just have sex
[00:06:25] And he does not make any food for the winter. Oh wow he goes and he fucks
[00:06:31] He has sex with all of the girls who are trying to go to school. Okay. Oh
[00:06:37] His wets until they are trying to learn and he gets them off the street
[00:06:47] And the banana he has knows that he will be caught in winter
[00:06:50] And the only way in winter to stay warm is to have a pussy
[00:06:57] So he puts all the food in his house instead of wrapping the school girls during the summer
[00:07:03] Okay, so the coconut has a no the banana and when we use yeah with all stuff for wind and when winter comes
[00:07:12] The banana he gets his all of the pussy because the girls have to go into his house to eat
[00:07:18] I see it takes food the food and the coconut is starving in the schoolhouse and school is closed because in Africa winter
[00:07:26] You have a break. Mmm. It's very winter the very cold african
[00:07:34] Wow the banana is getting so much pussy. Yeah, he feels sick
[00:07:39] He's he feels sick and his neighbor coconut comes and he says can I please have a pussy?
[00:07:49] Very cold and I'm starving and I'm messed up. Yeah, I did not know during the summer that I should not be ripping
[00:07:58] You have to wait for the wind to banana is having consensual sex to be
[00:08:02] Banana is having you could call it that but by they're so hungry to analyze the economic reality of the situation
[00:08:09] Yeah, it is it is almost worse than rape
[00:08:15] The the visceral impulses are masked by the
[00:08:20] The inhuman in serious of the markets themselves
[00:08:23] It's a sex work it's more of a size when the the moral weight of being a repost is passed off onto the system
[00:08:35] Gets to be a rapist, but he still gets to feel okay about himself and by the new
[00:08:39] I got you I got you. Yeah, that's true, but the cocon the moral of the story is the coconut is a better person
[00:08:57] This is just the end and the grass up also coconut do not eat food
[00:09:05] I wonder yeah, what is a coconut raping a human look like he shoves his whole
[00:09:13] Self in there I think it would look a little something
[00:09:26] Fuck thank you, man, that was a very good. That was a great fable. Yeah
[00:09:36] Gaysop you call this a cheeseburger who was a stop?
[00:09:41] He was the mafrican guy telling a tone, you know, the lecturing people with a man
[00:09:49] Michael I remember when children's fables had a better moral to them. Mm-hmm
[00:09:55] Absolutely, I was I had him I had him dialed in the other night. It's not bad
[00:10:06] Way of life. Let me smoke. Are they a way of life? Not really we recently went to Africa
[00:10:14] One of the local tribesmen told me a story
[00:10:16] That's a long story, but the moral of the story is the coconut is the better man for raping
[00:10:30] Instead of hiding his intentions yes pretending like he was preparing for the future right and that's what we are as boomers
[00:10:37] Mm-hmm. It's where rapist bananas. That's so true. Marlboro where rapist bananas
[00:10:51] Don I'm gonna be in my office with my pants down and my ass out on the all-fours
[00:10:55] Yeah, and you can put your tongue in there you can put your cock in there, but whatever it is stuff it full of goo
[00:11:01] Yeah, madmen would have been much better show if it was about just the guys that had gay sex with each other in the office
[00:11:06] Sal dude and then pretending like they're harassing women. Yeah, and the women all know yeah, that's why they're okay with it
[00:11:14] Because every guy that had a job in the 60s
[00:11:16] It was a lot of people don't know that but gay men had all the power back in the 50s absolutely did
[00:11:21] And I'm sure we also the tweet that said that World War II was gay
[00:11:25] No, I didn't see it. No, what was that some some gay guy tweeted? He's like
[00:11:30] World War one is queer and World War two is straight
[00:11:33] And then all of these other mentally old gay men are like 100%
[00:11:38] Oh wait world where one was gay. I have no idea. It's it's sort of like that is definitely a new like synesthesia
[00:11:44] But for fucking sexual orientation. Yeah, that's definitely which which is which is you see is a all the all the evidence
[00:11:51] You need that all of this is purely aesthetic anyway. Mm-hmm. Well, that's a style of of
[00:11:56] Of a tweet right now is saying which things are gay and which are by yeah, well, I gotta I gotta figure out that
[00:12:03] But that's been around cuz ten years ago was dolphins are gay sharks
[00:12:07] No, this is there's more this is more nuanced now. It's like six of them
[00:12:11] Yeah, you know an easy way to like a good example is like the presidential candidates or whatever. Yeah, saw someone's whatever
[00:12:20] And there's different types of queer that you know, I'm not even up on but I see that a lot
[00:12:24] It's so funny cuz that Alana Glazer a special came out and I watched the whole thing. I watched the whole thing
[00:12:29] I was a random made me watch the whole way. It's very hard not to fucking like zone out almost a bit
[00:12:34] Yeah, I couldn't keep yeah, we were at we were at one point
[00:12:38] It was like 34 minutes in and we just were like we can't turn back
[00:12:45] It's very it's very hard not to just zone out completely. Yeah, but I mean even if you saw that they have that clip on on
[00:12:51] It's on the clips are a little tough. Well the two there's a clip that's you know where she's like
[00:12:56] And this is the joke. They use it promote the special. She's like homophobia is the most
[00:13:03] pathetic form of hate. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, because homophobic people are basically telling you that they're thinking of gay
[00:13:10] All the time and then you know, it's just like rock a surprise for not even do she bombs interspersed
[00:13:18] Yeah, it's like it's sweet and even fucking laughs. Yeah, just sweet just a lot. I'm in it
[00:13:24] Yeah, I mean, it's like it's really just it's poorly produced too
[00:13:27] I mean she really should have just because you guys books jokes are just like fall flat Wow in her own special
[00:13:33] That is why there is one section where she's just describing what gay sex well
[00:13:40] She's like hold on is what's funny is like that bit that they included that like you know gay sex is or you know
[00:13:47] Homophobia is blah blah blah. Yeah, that's also it's the whole thing is like if you're like a repole on hold on
[00:13:55] Yes, sorry just it's too late told you hold on and you had to get that point out. I'm sorry
[00:14:00] Oh, it's all be quiet. No, it's all right. It's just I've been trying to say this now for 20 minutes
[00:14:07] Dude, I check my clock watch is 20. I've been trying about 10 seconds. I've been trying to make my point
[00:14:12] Yeah, make your point dude anyways the bit that that follows the clip that they used is she says gay sex is disgusting
[00:14:23] I was barely paying attention, but so she I don't think she's I don't think that's her point you guys at folks at home
[00:14:30] Pirate it. Mmm. No, you know what watch it watch it. That's the thing
[00:14:33] That's the other thing is you know what it's honestly
[00:14:35] I want more of this because eventually it's gonna get so bad the woke stuff that it'll become like camp and I'll be able to
[00:14:41] Enjoy it like fucking I used to be able to enjoy like 90s infomercials
[00:14:45] It's just the worst form of entertainment
[00:14:47] But I can sit there like that Australian shit
[00:14:49] And it's just like it's sort of like listening to the band play on the Titanic is the ships going
[00:14:55] It's like this sucks, but we deserve it. This is what we have we deserve. Yeah. Yeah, no, I think
[00:15:07] Yeah, no, it's funny like the response is online is because you know she wants to be woke, but she's she's 30 that she's putting it out on
[00:15:15] Amazon 38 years old or however the fuck that's also not a woke point the homophobes are gay
[00:15:20] Yeah, it's not a woke point. It's a hack joke from like 1993, but you know, I mean it's actually kind of homophobe
[00:15:28] Homophobic is that she says that gay sex is disgusting prior to that she can't watch gay porn
[00:15:32] She's like two dudes that shouldn't like be happening. Yeah, cuz we don't have a problem with that
[00:15:36] Yeah, we watch it all the time to prove it on. Yeah, I watch all the time right now like Arthur Chew
[00:15:41] I watch gay porn to know what a woman feels to understand the male gaze. Yeah to understand the male gaze the male homosexual great
[00:15:48] Joe, thank you. Have you run you should team up with a round of glazer double double said it twice
[00:16:02] A throw away that you had the highlight a second time
[00:16:08] And then explain that you met home as you said it
[00:16:16] Yeah, I bought a Yankee fitted yesterday
[00:16:18] I was like I make ten minutes. Well, cuz you texted me and you were like I was like, what are you doing?
[00:16:23] You're like I'm in Chelsea. I'm like let's get lunch and you're like just gripped a Yankee fitted
[00:16:34] Hold on that's not even like not only wearing it for fast would a teenager now not say that's something that like an 11 year old boy
[00:16:41] I think I said I was fitted shopping. No use I can go you said I just gripped a Yankees
[00:16:50] I'm like I can't stop but it's not like it's literally something that like a fucking like like you're so excited for your bar mitzvah
[00:16:58] It's not even a way no fucking seven that it is a it is a pre-pubescent statement
[00:17:03] Listen, I had a nice session where you were you at lids then I went to mowdell's I got I get it dude
[00:17:09] I'm like fucking I'll sit here and like earnestly complain that fighting games suck now. I
[00:17:15] Get it we live like bullets. Yeah, yeah
[00:17:19] But yeah, no, I bought a fitted and I was really excited about it. I saw in the ten minutes later
[00:17:24] He's just left in my face. We should get a fatted hat first off. We should get you. What does that mean?
[00:17:33] Nothing gets nothing gets me more than a fat person doesn't know they're fat
[00:17:36] I don't get what a fatted. It's like when it like when a big dog thinks they're the size of a lap dog
[00:17:41] Oh, yeah, trying to get him a little ass bed or yeah. Yeah, my dog does like that video that bulldog trying to sit on a lawn chair
[00:17:48] His legs keep going through the slack to him. Yeah, that's me. Yeah, I love him
[00:17:53] I can't wait the other fat ass bulldog. Yeah
[00:17:58] Anyway, but oh I'm wearing the fitted because it gives me a nice boost
[00:18:02] Yeah, like three four inches a lot of glazer high. I can't you can't be wearing a lot of that's man
[00:18:08] I'm gonna get I was telling him to put I don't know way that he hasn't been counting down
[00:18:19] Big's like and I know because I've had this all myself. They are the best hat they look so good
[00:18:24] Yeah, fuck the Yankees, but the Yankees fitted the Yankees know the Yankees fitted is literally the original like
[00:18:30] It's a cool hat. I can't look cool. That was so you know what the fitted so we're not these uniforms SS uniforms look cool
[00:18:36] And I don't know what I said and Adam Adam has a Hugo boss. Yeah, but fucking
[00:18:59] He gets mad at that he got mad at Quentin Tarantino for putting beeps in his movies did he well for the real word
[00:19:05] But yeah, we put beeps in his movie for putting the N word it'd be so funny if quinter dinner was beeping the
[00:19:19] Jango yeah, the quinter and dinner should have a movie called the hateful six and it's about all the letters in the
[00:19:25] It's five guys trapped in a house and it's like mr. N
[00:19:29] Yeah, mr. G. There's two of them. Yeah, no confusing
[00:19:34] Yeah, well Samuel Jackson is like he's recruited and this is ripping off a SNL joke
[00:19:38] But maybe I can't remember his SNL or what TV maybe he's mad TV the joke on the sketch was there was a children's show where there's like
[00:19:46] Oh, that's funny the letters and the letters are F you C K
[00:19:49] But like it's like we're meeting some of the alphabet tonight and it's like hey see
[00:19:53] F and you and then that like they'd start like dancing around and like rearranging
[00:20:00] I mean such a retarded idea. Yeah, it seems like you're mad TV because it's funny. Yeah, yeah
[00:20:05] Yeah, but you know anyways, it's that but with the N word and Samuel Jackson briefing a bunch of like bank robbers
[00:20:12] And it's called the hateful six. I like it. Yeah, let's get that go it would be confusing because the two G's
[00:20:17] But otherwise it would work mr. G. How about a guy named mr. G. G. And it's called the hateful five
[00:20:22] Okay, yeah, that would be better. Yeah, mr. G. Why am I not mr. G? It's like because that would be the country
[00:20:30] Mm-hmm. You know like but the premise is that you don't want us lining up to spell that that it's it's an accident
[00:20:38] The premise of the film are in it shut up. Yeah, shut the fuck up motherfucker. Did I ask you?
[00:20:56] Or the twin the G twins the G twins that's that's your way around it
[00:21:00] The twins and they get assigned mr. N. Mr. I the G twins G twins
[00:21:08] Yep, green dirt green dirt, you know, it's like okay. I like it
[00:21:13] I like that premise to Chinese twins. Yeah, but anyways
[00:21:16] All what I was saying with the Atlanta glazer thing is you go on social media and then it's a bunch of you know cuz she's old now
[00:21:23] So there's like fucking there's like teenagers that are like wow if you're really gonna be bio essentialist the least you can do is like
[00:21:30] Fuck and it's like what bio is sent. What does that mean? I don't know man. I have no idea
[00:21:39] Something about bio. It's like it's so funny. It's signed at birth
[00:21:42] You get you've been like people like people like label you people like the whole time like Bill Berg on trouble
[00:21:47] Like six years ago for going on TV. He's like you want to do whatever you want to do?
[00:21:51] You want to get your dick cut off fine? I don't care. I don't give a shit do it. I don't fucking care
[00:21:57] I'm supposed to not be like what the fuck is that?
[00:22:01] You know, I can't even ask a fucking question. Yeah
[00:22:05] And then you got in trouble for that. Yeah, didn't he say he was like I miss Bruce
[00:22:08] Or something that's a great bit. Yeah, that's a good bit. I
[00:22:13] Missed that guy. He worked his whole life. Oh wait. No, is that or am I thinking of Sam Rills bit? I saw a dice some dice
[00:22:21] At the sand did a big chunk on Caitlyn Jenner. Oh really? Yeah, that was a very nuanced thing
[00:22:28] The nice thing about seeing him was like it was as if the last 30 years never happened
[00:22:33] Yeah, so he's just like and then he closes on the nursery rhymes. Yeah, the crowd goes wild
[00:22:39] Go to sure, but yeah, his his this was his bit his joke was that
[00:22:45] He got so sick and tired of hearing all the balls slapping against asses in his house
[00:22:51] As if this man where is this mr. Bean? No, yeah, yeah, you're rowing Atkinson
[00:22:57] Responding to a text message. Yeah. Yeah, were you talking about mr. Bean? Yeah?
[00:23:11] Oh getting fuck the answer Mr. Bean. Oh, mr. Bean sucking Tim Curry's penis
[00:23:41] No, no, so the planet please so the the logic was that Bruce Jenner who lives in a home with all of his daughters
[00:23:52] Yeah, all eight of them is so sick and tired of hearing them getting fucked by black men
[00:23:58] Yeah, that he developed some sort of hatred of his
[00:24:01] And then and then he's like I'm mad because I had to run the show while he was down. Yeah, you're upstairs
[00:24:12] I went downstairs to watch with Brandon and then he was like
[00:24:15] Yeah, he was like you you you for your hook it up with someone you reached out the front of their pants as a fucking tree truck
[00:24:23] What happens if you fuck Caitlyn ten minutes later you're in the backyard doing Olympic stuff
[00:24:29] Yeah, that's a good point where her power her powers of athleticism
[00:24:35] Mm-hmm or trans are transmitted to you through your penis and her so now you become just killing
[00:24:42] As Caitlyn's cock been chopped off. I think she might have gotten this really yeah, cuz they sold it on oh
[00:24:49] Really for charity website for sports memorabilia
[00:24:54] Isn't there a sports memorabilia? I'm sure there is yeah, they sold that on there
[00:25:03] Sportsmen this was the penis that won the Olympics for Caitlyn
[00:25:06] Yeah, the male gay back when they were capable of doing it and they can't now
[00:25:12] Brut Caitlyn's penis yeah in a little fucking like a one of the like with a gold medal around no
[00:25:18] I would just wanted a little tank with blue the shit they have like combs in oh, yeah, what's it called?
[00:25:23] I'm not from a new guys doing this weekend you want to go something this side upstate and shoot rifles in the woods
[00:25:30] I have spots all day Saturday all days you're doing front shows oh no, but I could we could do I could I would like to shoot
[00:25:37] A gun I have never shot a gun in my life
[00:25:39] Yeah, if there's somebody within an hour of the city that has guns in a backyard and
[00:25:45] We can have a little I would Kyle action. Yeah, we all kill it. That's how we die
[00:25:49] That would be an easy way to kill us fucking sweet the PTSD
[00:25:54] Yeah, just show up to somebody's house. We came here to shoot guns. There was an accident shoots us all in the back of the head
[00:25:58] Yeah, we all accidentally got shot in the back of the head done deal case closed. Yeah, I don't know
[00:26:07] He's like I don't want to die with the hands of a fan there was somebody
[00:26:22] She told his her name was Jillery Benton jewelry Benton. Yeah, and what happened they re-lost Epstein suicide video
[00:26:30] Yeah, I think so. Yeah, it's just never came out. They're like all we thought we had it, but then realized
[00:26:37] The video is like you know remember when they fucking sent those pictures of Gee Lane it like
[00:26:42] Is Lane G Lane's lane to what I would get up from go ahead and say funny again
[00:26:48] Is Lane okay, so I didn't want to step on your how do you say G lane is how you say it?
[00:26:53] Yeah, yeah, I've never heard someone say that it's galaine. Oh, okay. Go Lane. It's just Lane. Just Lane. Yeah
[00:27:03] Do I have a crush on her so I would love to get kind of fire honestly, I don't care what she did every time
[00:27:08] She looks cute as hell every time I see her
[00:27:10] I think she's like she was taking it if something happened. It wasn't her fault. She was the big
[00:27:16] She's not girlfriend dude. Yeah, well really and we're dating
[00:27:19] And me and galaine are dating and here's the best part is she can't come out publicly and say that we're not the
[00:27:25] Sure feel where she is. So how about desi G lane your move we're dating and we've had sex
[00:27:31] Go ahead and report that the daily the daily
[00:27:34] Tell it what's the shitty one daily mail daily? Yeah, yeah
[00:27:37] Dot code dot you can I mean is there really like does Britain have any newspapers that aren't like how Fanny was showing
[00:27:46] It never about the royal family I think the Guardian
[00:27:50] With the royal family Harry Harry wants to quit and Harry fucking is not about that life anymore in his wife
[00:27:57] Which is wife's name the hot one the Megan Egg and make a mark all dude. I'm charcoal talk about someone
[00:28:01] I'm trying to get top from mmm, Megan Markle
[00:28:04] Yeah, she's they said they're quitting the royal family. That's crazy. Yeah, you know, they're not even taking a allowance
[00:28:10] They want to go to Canada. Why I don't know. That's what they said. Okay, that's still
[00:28:18] Yeah, they still have a queen Canada as a queen how funny is that?
[00:28:21] No, it's not a queen right but yeah, but it's she's the queen of Canada
[00:28:25] That's fucking hilarious. She's the queen of England and Canada. Dude. Why why am I just fucking killing them?
[00:28:30] She's the queen of India. Why haven't we killed them and taken all their money India? They did this thing
[00:28:36] India thinks they have independence, but the British people were winking when they left
[00:28:41] People don't know what that means. Yeah, that's true. Yeah
[00:28:50] What's the shit? What's the book the baga vad Gita the baga vad Gita son the Kamasutra
[00:29:01] Yeah, dude, are you think Harry's mad cuz his fucking his grandma killed his mom
[00:29:07] Cuz you know, we had her shooters in that tunnel in London or whatever. Oh, yeah, that's right by that Pakistani guy
[00:29:14] I think he was Egypt. She was getting she was giving him road head. Do de alfah. Yeah, that guy was like a billionaire
[00:29:23] Yeah, I remember my mom cried and I was like mean to everyone loved princess
[00:29:28] I was like my you you're not even from England. I know like who cares. She's so beautiful
[00:29:33] She wasn't even that hot. She was kind of busted, but yeah, she was she was mid. She looked like she could probably ride some cock. I
[00:29:41] Don't do that move with just we should bounce it on her knees. I
[00:29:45] Thought she was mid. You know I'm saying I
[00:29:47] I can see Princess Diana like doing the thing where just her
[00:29:52] She's riding cock on and using just start with model airplanes to this princess by Jan by Jan. Yeah
[00:30:07] Your princess Vi dude, mm-hmm. She got smashed
[00:30:11] Oh, yeah, I thought you got tunnel smashed. Oh, yeah, mm-hmm. Yeah, we're coming out alive from 1997
[00:30:24] Couple of what's over that oh my god. I love listening to jokes. You think they're listening to my podcast
[00:30:34] You think they're mad that that guy was molesting children. You think they cared about that who which one Andrew big Andy
[00:30:40] Oh, get his cock. I don't know but that interview from last month
[00:30:44] Cousin Andrews been caught diddling again
[00:30:48] This thing if you're British you're already kind of a pedophile true true. You've already got the whole like
[00:30:54] The affect of I mean the most powerful the most powerful people in their country went to elite boarding schools
[00:31:01] Were they all got molested? Yeah, so did you know I didn't you got molested. I went to public
[00:31:06] Did you get molested you went to molestation school? No, I didn't it's the hall never did you know I went I went to
[00:31:13] Magnet school we all know Nikki's gotten molested. I are both pro but I tried to I only did it to know how much I didn't like
[00:31:23] That you were into it. I never got molested and I think I'm so sorry, but I tried to show another kid my penis
[00:31:31] I had a girl we did Bobby's we did Bobby's podcast and that guy. What's his name is like John Moore or something?
[00:31:38] He's that other comic there's a redhead. Yeah, yeah, and you said that you you showed your penis to a child
[00:31:44] He was like you fucking showed your penis about to kill you
[00:31:49] Yeah, I was I didn't show it to my asked if I could dude the look in that guy's eye
[00:31:53] He was about the John Moses. Yeah, he was about to beat you to death
[00:31:56] Yeah, because he just told the story about his newborn baby daughter and I was like, yeah, I remember I showed a kid my penis
[00:32:12] Yeah, we're all cracking up I'm like, yeah, you showed a child your fucking
[00:32:18] There's a grueling it was like a weak lady. Are you sure fear told that story, but he meant that?
[00:32:22] He actually showed he pissed and there was a child
[00:32:26] And the mom was like the mom I think in this story was like I want my daughter to see what an adult penis looks like
[00:32:32] What yeah, that's weird. I had a weird on the mom. Did she suck him off in front of her daughter?
[00:32:37] I think so. I think it's one of those. I mean, it wouldn't be quick as you kid European families
[00:32:44] I had a weird cousin who was like a nerd he was like any kind of paraphelia you can just write off as like while I'm European
[00:32:54] Paraphilia what's paraphilia? I think anything other than normal shit. Really? I think so. I think that's what that means
[00:33:01] Paraphilia partially like paratrooper. Yeah half
[00:33:06] Half-philia that's you because you only have half a penis
[00:33:10] Anyway, but I had this cousin that was like a nerd. He was younger than me and he used to call me Anakin
[00:33:16] Because I don't know why cuz you really like Star Wars
[00:33:18] And I was like I gotta go pee and he's like please can I come with you and I was like no
[00:33:24] Yeah, he's like please let me watch and I was like this kid's gonna grow up to be a fucking weird
[00:33:30] Did you let him see your car? No, I didn't let him seem like we're a bad cousin, dude
[00:33:41] Characterized by abnormal sexual desires typically involving extreme or dangerous activities, okay, so that could be any kink no
[00:33:57] No, it's a sexual proclivity what that's what kink means yeah, yeah, I learned paraphilia
[00:34:03] I beside kink was a racial so no no, it's not oh well the fact that you think it is just sort of double racist
[00:34:11] No, it's weird because I guess I was I read all this
[00:34:14] I read all this sex worker discourse on Twitter and it was always like really confusing
[00:34:20] Prostitute, but I don't understand why you have to be so racist yes Jewish a Jewish Asian people. Yeah, it's all these damn kinks
[00:34:27] Okay, well now that you know, it's not you know one well, I guess why did you say it like that? Uh-huh?
[00:34:38] Not paraphilia sounds like it's kicking shaming it sounds like you
[00:34:41] It's something you like getting your dick sucked on like a hang glider or something. Yeah, I could do that extreme
[00:34:52] I don't money penny I was wondering if you wanted to get fucked in your ass
[00:35:03] I'd like to bend you over and rip your pussy apart. I'm cool. I'm I've got a quick question for you
[00:35:10] Would you like to shock my fucking dick?
[00:35:14] Oh, Jay, there he is. Oh, the old jokes to himself. James the jokes
[00:35:23] Why don't you take a look at those just jacking off?
[00:35:28] Yeah, Q, why don't you pull my finger real quick?
[00:35:32] But you didn't fuck double seven. That's right. I came in my bench. I
[00:35:37] I spent 15 minutes in the bathroom getting myself all the weight of the edge while looking at the picture of your wife
[00:35:44] And you just made my boss door in my mind
[00:35:53] Your inventions faggot. Well, I don't really appreciate that much at all. It's written were all faggots
[00:35:59] That's why we hired you you're the only one that straight England needed a straight man
[00:36:08] He had one straight man to protect us from Russia
[00:36:17] But it's getting panned the first movie got panned it was deemed too unrealistic
[00:36:26] Yeah for a single British man to be heterosexual
[00:36:29] Well, I just don't see it. I've never met a man like that who behaves that way
[00:36:33] We all have sex with our wives while holding on noses well fully clothed and thinking about
[00:36:41] Dr. No is the doctor who invented women being able to deny consent for sex
[00:36:46] Yeah, we've got terrible news double seven women are now allowed to choose
[00:36:54] There's a doctor that's in it told women the word now I'll kill him
[00:37:02] That's correct double seven. It's still 1963
[00:37:05] We haven't gotten to that part of consent yet. Yes that part is still fine. They haven't learned how to write books it
[00:37:11] Unless it's something about how to keep a good house and voting for your husband's favorite candidate
[00:37:18] The kind of feminism that helped us beat the Nazis
[00:37:31] Was using matter wrong JFK was JFK off Addis yeah, he was there's this guy dr. Feel good
[00:37:38] Who's just giving everyone pills damn that's awesome. Yeah, did he did he have other clientele?
[00:37:44] I think a lot of famous and powerful people
[00:37:49] Want some fucking pills. I think that's my new move. I'm gonna be back on pills
[00:37:56] Keeped off all that at or all maybe he that was a secret. Just maybe it took forever to bust or something
[00:38:03] A powerful man or probably getting sucked soft suck soft sucks because they're also eating a bunch of steak
[00:38:11] You know what I mean? It's not the right diet for having a hard-ass coffee stick. Yeah
[00:38:17] Pills I struggled to get hard after having a steak dinner recently
[00:38:23] Mm-hmm. I've never taken a while. I'd love to go go. Yeah, I love steak. I eat it quite often
[00:38:29] I want a fatty fucking ribeye, dude. Oh
[00:38:34] Fuck you just want to eat some marble ass fucking meat. I don't think it's shit
[00:38:38] But I can't why did you want me to get you started my body or you only put a Q-tip in your ass and get it kind of going
[00:38:45] Yeah, you would master me to cats and he
[00:38:49] Exactly my dad used to tell a disgusting joke about something similar to that
[00:38:55] Why don't you tell us you said what do you hear the one about the constipated mathematician?
[00:39:00] What no, I did he works it out with a pencil
[00:39:04] That's pretty good this man shoved a pencil in his ass to loosen the stool
[00:39:14] Was your dad friends with that gay mathematician?
[00:39:17] Essentially, I don't know my dad wasn't very good at math
[00:39:19] So he must have known quite a few mathematicians. I give you heard the one about the gay role of later. He's got a son named
[00:39:44] That sounds real smart Adam what no doctors use catch you guys up at Nick
[00:39:49] Opioids too, but don't know on pain when people are dying catch the listeners up
[00:39:53] Nick wants to start doing heroin and Adam thinks he should do ketamine because doctors do it because it's medicine people give it to you for depression
[00:40:01] Shut up, dude. Yeah, my friend my friend's in his growth
[00:40:04] He's Richard my friends girlfriend if any of the fans want to enable my death
[00:40:10] I want to reach out just for me fucking drugs. Yeah in fact give us all some drugs give us Adderall give us any kind of pill
[00:40:20] Acid mail that to Nick's home, which is given the address Adams address
[00:40:25] You may have to Adams house and we'll all collect from there Adams address, which is
[00:40:30] 270 Park Avenue New York New York. Yeah, I think that's the address of Jeffrey Epstein JP Morgan
[00:40:39] The world's biggest bag. Oh Jeffrey obscene was like 71st
[00:40:44] I don't know is Jeffrey Epstein's address because I went to his house the Rolodex of yeah
[00:40:49] Friends for your bar because he saw the friends of the coin the envelope to find the card
[00:40:54] He got his bar mitzvah. He saved it. Yeah
[00:40:56] Yeah, yeah, it was and what fifth Avenue the one that runs on the fifth Avenue the one that runs on the on the east side of the
[00:41:03] Park I saw the funny is your central Park West and whatever the nice little spot
[00:41:07] I saw it's like right off the park. It's a nice. Yeah, yeah, I was watching sick
[00:41:13] I was wondering around the city yesterday and I saw like a fucking like some like
[00:41:18] Taxi painted white with like a little like great Britain sticker on the back
[00:41:22] Okay, and there was a woman riding in the back. She was being driven around and I just imagined some like dumb bitch
[00:41:27] Like rich girl like having her parents pay for her Hannah go lightly experience
[00:41:32] Oh for sure in New York hundred percent where it's not only does she have a free apartment in New York
[00:41:36] But they have to pretend like it's 1950
[00:41:40] So she can be Hannah go lightly from her favorite movie what's Hannah go lightly the protagonist from
[00:41:52] Is what's his face? You know, that's the only Truman Capote book. I've ever read he wrote breakfast at Tiffany's
[00:41:59] What's it about? I guess in cold blood is supposed to be his like good book
[00:42:03] But I thought Truman Capote was supposed to be like this fucking
[00:42:06] Killer writer. Yeah, and it breakfast at Tiffany's is fucking it's like children's
[00:42:14] His fag hack Harper Lee. Yeah, who wrote a penis flock dude? That's you know what? I'm like
[00:42:22] I'm really good watch fucking Capote the
[00:42:45] Come on. Let me see you're going back to the
[00:42:52] Going back to what I was saying about ketamine my friends girlfriend was considering it for oh, yeah
[00:42:57] I know no no one can I know her no and they charge like 750
[00:43:02] Session he's telling a story you can just find a drug dealer and do it on your own telling a story again and people don't care
[00:43:08] Yeah, we're not we're not listening to you
[00:43:11] We're going to be we're good. Do we're doing opiates. I would like to do a pill is deep. Huh?
[00:43:17] Pretty good. Let's get let's get a pain pill dude. Let's it's it's so remember the old days man
[00:43:22] I got much you want to do mushrooms remember how no no yeah, you're right. That's a problem
[00:43:27] How do you know remember the old days when we were co-enablers brother?
[00:43:31] That was beautiful. Oh my god. You do your drugs. You do like a motherfucker
[00:43:35] He's drunk as shit. He drives to the bar. I would have 11 beers
[00:43:39] I would have drunk Nick was a couple dozen wings and a pizza
[00:43:47] Dude honestly, I'm smiling so hard right now thinking about that. I put you on mute. I don't want to hear about
[00:43:55] The night we went to McDonald's with yeah, muted, but you're not telling you're not telling any stories
[00:44:01] Dude no joke it feels awesome to give into your addictions dude. It's the best
[00:44:10] Let's just do it man. I know I've been going to the gym for like two weeks and shit
[00:44:14] It's like it's funny. It's because like the only reason not to is to like you know
[00:44:18] I mean it's like you just want to know that it like is the addiction destroying my life
[00:44:22] And then you quit and then you find success and then you're like yes
[00:44:25] It was wasn't still worth it not worth it. It's trade-off. It's not worth it. It's not worth it
[00:44:30] I wish I wish I had spent the last five years drunk. Yeah
[00:44:35] Just doing nothing just fucking around it open mics. Mm-hmm. One of my eyes stops working
[00:44:41] Yeah, I just don't care getting chronic headaches. Yeah
[00:44:46] But people still like you blood people love you people still like you because you think you're great
[00:44:50] Yeah, we know a couple of people that were just losers and then things started taking off of them recently and it's like
[00:44:55] Yeah, you just sort of don't like them anymore. No, cuz there's nothing romantic. Oh, yeah
[00:45:05] Yeah, I mean yeah the only addiction I have you really you really don't deserve is drama
[00:45:12] Tragic story. You're just a guy that hung out at a good time with his friends and then you found the right friends
[00:45:16] That's true. And then they brought I don't know if it was that calculating. It was that it was pretty
[00:45:21] I look at your spreadsheet of friends who's who have the
[00:45:27] Probability of success and I have you guys solidly in there. Yeah, that's yeah, absolutely, you know
[00:45:38] I wish I was just a rich guy's son that I just get fat and die in like two years. Yeah, and your dad loves you by prostitutes
[00:45:45] Just what play play we with eldest and your dad cries every time he sees you, but he's not strong enough to actually
[00:45:52] Front you about your issues. That would be incredible. Yeah, dude. So being a fucking pussy. Also. Yeah, oh, that'll be awesome
[00:45:57] Can I have the car? I know I'm drunk. Can I please borrow the can I have a land Rover?
[00:46:02] Yeah, the Rover absolute I would be in a Rover for you fucking land Rover rich kid
[00:46:08] With a girlfriend that hates me and she told me but I buy her fucking jewelry every
[00:46:14] She's so hot she's just fucking rappers
[00:46:20] That sounds like it's awesome. I want to be that's my life. I want that I want that for my son
[00:46:25] Everybody I have to succeed to be that pussy father
[00:46:29] That's my destiny to be that pussy that push over that's my destiny wearing fucking slacks
[00:46:34] Dockers no in a golf polo. I couldn't do that. I would never know I can't I would abuse my son before
[00:46:45] That's what they are. I was just read as hell just read wind swept fucked up hair
[00:46:49] Your wife doesn't respect you because you can't even stand up to your son
[00:46:55] Yeah, cuz his fine it was family money for him too. He never he never it's generational. Yeah, that's what I want
[00:47:02] She's a professional philanthropist. Yeah, I was like she's just like throwing parties to give your shit
[00:47:06] I literally worked for a woman like that when I was in college and she was just she was like
[00:47:12] She ran she was like a high-powered woman who ran all these fucking programs for like poor kids
[00:47:16] And she just had like a 29 year old son who fucking played
[00:47:20] Grand Theft Auto all day. It was on pills in Montgomery County and just no mansion. Yeah, just exactly
[00:47:26] That's a total that's the type of guy. Yeah sure God
[00:47:30] Why were we born rich to live that I knew a guy like that and he was like nationally ranked in Madden
[00:47:41] In his you know late 20s, mm-hmm. Yes, sir. You said like I used to like just quote two pock lyrics just casually in conversation
[00:47:53] Awful I don't doubt like three minutes ago. Just started fucking dwelling. That's all right. No, that's all right. What are you talking about?
[00:48:07] Yeah, you know there wasn't that many episodes of Mr. Bean
[00:48:10] Yeah, I know I've tried to get into it again and it's like it's just like 12 and
[00:48:15] Pretty quickly fuck. What's Rowan up to have you seen this HBO specials really good?
[00:48:23] Drums and he does about Fred Armisen. No Rowan Atkinson. It's like from the 80s
[00:48:28] Really does that bit where he says well, how about in some place the devil? It's free Tardison. Oh, yeah, yeah
[00:48:35] And he's like Jewish and retarded. I can't wait to go to port and the uh, okay, okay
[00:48:41] So it's still a Fred Armisen riff, but it's Fred Armisen. He's for Tardison
[00:48:47] Fred Armisen, but retarded. I thought freed Tardison like no no Fred Fred Tardison
[00:48:57] Yeah, that's good. Yeah, I I want to go to voodoo donuts. I won't be I won't Portland
[00:49:04] There's so many bridges. Let's count them. Yeah one
[00:49:11] Yes, that's definitely a strong for Tardison for Tardison
[00:49:16] What's that show from the show SLN mr. Bean what that show is a night nine
[00:49:23] Can't wait to be on it on a comedy show you remember when when uh that that fella that
[00:49:29] That fella I went to college with wrote a s and l. Yeah, we're gonna talk about that right now
[00:49:36] All right, we're trying to riff this out dude. We're trying to save my life
[00:49:40] Trying to get to the bottom of Fred Tardison. Let's continue with this
[00:49:44] Wait, what was the what was the other show mr. Bean was in that everyone says it's good black adder
[00:49:49] Yeah, I never thought that was funny. Yeah, and it's a guy like the bit play guy that's like check this shit out man one
[00:49:58] You got three on that bit. How about this four bam you were seven black. I would this is wonderful program
[00:50:07] On bbc. Yeah, right bam. There you go right there. There don't well. I guess they have their own black guys. Yeah, yeah caribbean guys
[00:50:15] There yeah, you got to watch top boy dude. So you can learn all their slang
[00:50:20] Did you do that? Yeah, that's what I did. I call people a waste man
[00:50:24] Is that where drake is getting all his shit from? Yeah, he's he watched well. He literally produced top boy
[00:50:29] He brought it back for another season so he could get more slang respect
[00:50:33] Yeah, shut up. Oh, you know the kind of black guy I was thinking of the black rich guy is the guy from peep show
[00:50:40] The guy that yeah the protagonist is almost gay with his boss his boss. Yeah, it's a suck-off
[00:50:47] Well, there's like an episode where he's like in love with him. Yeah, he's like in my gay
[00:50:50] That's that's my favorite. That's probably my favorite sitcom of all time
[00:50:55] Yeah, it's good. It's more up there. It's definitely up there. It's so good. No joke 30 rock is so fucking good
[00:51:02] It's got so many jokes per fucking second writers are so talented to be able to write that many jokes
[00:51:08] It's wild. They had a joke. It's like 400 jokes in episode. There's a trace. There was a trace
[00:51:14] Just I was just watching it recently and he was one joke. I mean there's a hundred of them
[00:51:18] And also like so much shit that would get you canceled, but it's awesome
[00:51:22] But Tracy Morgan is like get me a black coffee also known as a son kissed
[00:51:32] Let me just fucking destroy every fucking game
[00:51:35] Listen to this moment where sex workers can have a little solidarity from the left as a treat
[00:51:40] Can we start off first of all that was the as a treat thing was never funny. That was never good. The original was dumb
[00:51:48] It's fucking stupid and then girls love it for some reason because it's just about like doing things that you like and making it sound cute
[00:51:55] Right, which is not what a joke is. Yeah
[00:51:58] That is the gay thing about memes is that like it's just plug it. You're just stealing a joke essentially
[00:52:03] Well for a mat. Yeah. Yeah, that's that's half of what it's like. It's it's probably all of what it's like
[00:52:13] Oh damn fuck dude. I'm not I'm hungry again. Even though I had a beautiful breakfast
[00:52:21] Thing where he said hi to that that couple that had a joint Facebook. Oh, yeah, that was great
[00:52:30] Funny shit for like five years. What was it? It's like Terry and James
[00:52:36] I don't remember what Terry or James don't read James don't read this and then da da da. Terry. Hello. Yeah classic
[00:52:46] Did he just lock his shit up because he got started being banned? He's still killing it. Yeah, he's funny. He's so funny
[00:52:52] It's funny. There's guys that were like funny on there in 2012 that like we're as funny as anyone who got
[00:52:57] Successful right got fucking sitcom job writing jobs. Yeah. Well even that I mean even like what level like you know
[00:53:03] I'm ever like the show took off right and that are just like
[00:53:08] You know like like diarrhea Brandon. Yeah, whose last I heard from he was like having the steel license plates
[00:53:15] So that he could start a new life in Indiana living in his like friends living room
[00:53:21] A real wide gamut on weird twitter turns out a weird twitter. Where are they now?
[00:53:29] Hundred thousand dollar patreon or you're you're fucking stripping your fucking your in jail step dads
[00:53:36] Here's for copper wire in jail for drinking chemicals
[00:53:40] It didn't belong to you for drinking someone else's chemicals stolen chemicals stolen fabuloso
[00:53:47] You're going you're going to fucking jail
[00:53:49] On shoplifting and drinking chemicals charges
[00:53:52] You stole it from a fucking maid a Bolivian woman unconventional getting fucked up
[00:54:00] Stealing to dude if you put us in him and take that in a bottle of fabuloso. Yeah tastes just like fireball brother
[00:54:08] Yeah, he was just in the fucking dust off aisle at staples
[00:54:17] Don't serve this man kick him out of staples. Did you ever used to go to like cvs and use like
[00:54:23] Use stuff in the aisle and then leave when you're a poor
[00:54:28] Like what I used to use stuff. I used to use the odorant probably. Yeah, I used to know not the odorant
[00:54:36] What just like squeeze a little bitch. I was very poor at the time
[00:54:43] But I don't use say I mean I got to have to now my face gets super dry
[00:54:49] I didn't have to use much rather until this year and now the extent I have to use it like once
[00:54:54] A year as there's one day where I need to use it. No, I need Adam. Can you ask me that question again?
[00:55:00] About the cbs. I'm okay. Stop when you were poor
[00:55:04] Like Adam and his salad days before he really buckled down and learned how to be on a podcast
[00:55:10] Where he really started focusing on the work and being frenzied
[00:55:13] Oh, yeah, did I ever see it? Well, I didn't but you know what Adam probably did yeah
[00:55:23] For your pussy because he's got a vagina he's trying to be sillier because he's not funny
[00:55:29] Badges silly vagina put googly eye would you fuck a pussy with googly eyes on it?
[00:55:34] And every time like this is like whoa a day labor eating bad just so because he thinks it's icing
[00:55:47] There's something trying trying every lotion
[00:55:50] I'm just sitting in the parking lot of Home Depot eating lotion
[00:55:57] And fucking because you know that story about them drinking fabulous though because I thought it was Gatorade
[00:56:01] No, I don't know that yeah, it was a problem in Texas. Yeah, because it's like purple. It looks delicious
[00:56:05] It looks like a sports drink. It's so good. There's a mop on it and I'm pretty sure Fabuloso is their language. Yeah
[00:56:12] I mean, it's not any language, but if it's gonna be a language. I mean the word is fabulous. It doesn't
[00:56:19] But bro, it smells like fucking cleaning supplies smells like shit
[00:56:25] If there was one thing that you could that's not edible that you would make edible. What would it be?
[00:56:31] Something that's not edible that you've always wanted to eat
[00:56:36] What have you always wanted to eat? I mean, I'll tell you something that I used to eat that wasn't food
[00:56:43] Is that glue that they put mailers in and magazines? Yeah that tacky glue
[00:56:48] That's a good answer that all the time. That's a really good answer
[00:56:52] Between your teeth. It feels you know what I'll say pleasant to bite through it. Also, uh
[00:57:00] Oh, you like panther looks like cotton can it looks like a more a thicker cotton really bad more substantial cotton
[00:57:07] fiberglass insulation that looks delicious also
[00:57:12] Whatever they put to seal off not caulk, but it's something that like nick you would know what this is
[00:57:17] Huh where it's like what do they put to seal things off the kind of balloons up
[00:57:24] See just feeling spray foam insulation. Yeah that that I would love to use it just different types of insulation
[00:57:32] The insulation guy when it comes to what I would love to why I gotta look so tasty
[00:57:37] Also wet sand looks like cotton wet sand looks tasty yellow kind
[00:57:42] The both yeah, I'd like to eat both wet sand wet sand looks tasty. Yeah mud looks good
[00:57:52] A three or four year old stop playing candy
[00:57:58] It's so funny how many answers you have
[00:58:03] You're like, you know what I like all the words, but what if more stuff hold on
[00:58:08] We're gonna cry down for a second. Yeah, the only question is I need to be brought up to speed
[00:58:12] Okay, what was the prompt was what is a thing that's not edible that you always wished was edible
[00:58:18] Oh, I don't have anything close to that, but I was gonna say Sava seven things
[00:58:23] Keep going cartoon pizza was always big cartoon pizza always looks so much better than real pizza
[00:58:28] Yeah, specifically the cartoon pizza from all dogs go to heaven. Oh, it was very gooey
[00:58:34] I remember pretty drippy the she and the song is about sharing. Yep, and that's the only nice
[00:58:39] I remember yeah that you like from the child and the movie knowing the movie otherwise the movie has a pretty dark tone
[00:58:44] It is a dark ass movie. I remember being four or five and I was like man. I really want to be a dog that's being put down in New Orleans
[00:58:57] I love that movie man. That was one of the classics in the house household
[00:59:00] I might I might try to get some some perk sets or something every watch. Yep. Mm-hmm. Just watch baby dogs
[00:59:07] I'm gonna ever unfucking pills on pain pills. Oh, yeah, dude. I'm handling things very good
[00:59:17] That's not bad, bro. It's not bad, you know, I mean, it's like fucking here's what you need who cares
[00:59:22] You need to just do fucking drugs for like a month and do whatever you want baby movies. Yeah gaming
[00:59:32] Actually, maybe I'll join you. Yeah, dude. Please do
[00:59:34] Please do let my life go to shit. No, come with
[00:59:43] Go to hell dude. The dream is over. Yeah, has it just begun. Oh, has it just begun
[00:59:51] Damn dude should we watch 1917 it looks pretty good
[00:59:55] You should you want to watch cats dude. All right, check the um ever since I found they got rid of Jason to rule those penis
[01:00:02] Now I feel safe to see it. Oh, yeah, because you would get too horny if it was there
[01:00:06] No, I just felt you'd be in you would be in the you'd be in the theater just squir
[01:00:11] I don't want to be assaulted by Jason Derulo's penis in a cat. Does he have a nice hard pea big cock
[01:00:18] Apparently they got rid of it though. Let's let's look that up. Let's look up Jason Derulo penis
[01:00:23] On google seriously that video. That's just a super cut of him saying his own name
[01:00:28] Uh like every single interview. He's like he sings. Whoa is this real? Is this his cock?
[01:00:33] He's got a big ass dick. Holy shit. Are you you're probably just looking at fake things wait? No dude look at this man's fucking
[01:00:41] Why does he have a boner? No, that's fake dude. Why would he take a picture of him with a sideways boner?
[01:00:48] He posted it on instagram. Oh, he did so he does have a monster. Nice. Of course he does
[01:01:01] Fuck that was racist for you to say it's a compliment
[01:01:05] Damn is this real instagram took it down because his cock was too beautiful
[01:01:10] Well, why would he put his cock to the side and like Jason Derulo penis pick removed by instagram due to
[01:01:18] Why would you put yourself with a fucking sideways boner to let these whores know what's up?
[01:01:23] Dude to let him know big Derulo's got coming for you. Damn. We got a post-insolidarity. Oh shit
[01:01:29] Oh wait, no, this is the game. I'm not sure
[01:01:32] Now that picture of the game the picture of the game with his penis bulge is very funny because of all the hashtags at the bottom
[01:01:40] Wow dude that guy's penis is literally like eight times the size of my penis
[01:01:51] Fucked up dude. Let me get a little cock meat dude
[01:01:54] This is one as a treat as a treat exactly
[01:01:58] Stop gonna have a little bit of a bigger
[01:02:02] That then the meme is good if I get a cock girls can shut up a little bit as a treat
[01:02:08] There's a treat to the rest of us can do a little shut the fuck up
[01:02:20] Yeah, we're all misogynist now. We're miktow. What's miktow men go their own way. Oh, yeah
[01:02:34] Yeah, I'll throw hard on that. That's very funny
[01:02:38] Oh you changed your avatar. Yeah, I did. Oh really keep it. It's a classic classic old moldog
[01:02:52] Yeah, I think I might just become full-blown misogynist
[01:03:01] We could do a little shut the fuck up you got the ass
[01:03:04] Fuck dude, I want to eat a steak and watch a movie
[01:03:11] Yeah, dude, let's watch let's fucking get steaks. You know what fuck it. Honestly, let's go get steaks
[01:03:15] We'll find some pills and then we'll come back here and watch
[01:03:23] I'm I'm doing well. I'm handling my life. Well, I'm fucking every year I get better
[01:03:34] There's and it is it's every year the pen gets easier
[01:03:39] Just kidding and it feels even better to be alive
[01:03:46] Oh, is that was that what I was saying?
[01:03:49] Thank you very much. Another good thing about life is you were surrounded by people you resent
[01:03:54] Even though you do love them on some level. I
[01:04:06] You annoy the shit out of me and you are my best friend
[01:04:22] It's so funny that if the only way you could open up emotionally
[01:04:34] It's literally art. That's literally what art is
[01:04:37] Yeah, that's why some of us are masters of fiction
[01:04:44] Yeah, bram's bram stroke or stoker's dracula. No, bram stroke or dude. Yeah, a lot of people don't know this but
[01:04:53] The scientist. That's right and the monster a closeie. Yeah
[01:05:02] Were these horny any fucks gay guys. Yeah, oh is gay. I can't tell I
[01:05:07] I want they already do that in that mom was young. That was young pope gay Dracula. Yeah
[01:05:15] I thought that Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise one of their that is Dracula's in their sauce, but they don't ever admit it
[01:05:24] Yeah, it's clearly that. Uh-huh. So we're gonna. We're gonna wrap this fucker up. We got a funny mom some more what the fuckers
[01:05:32] What the fucking ears stops gonna be all around the country. Yeah come see me
[01:05:37] I also as I'm doing a one-off or some time show at
[01:05:41] Uh union hall sometimes very nice venue in park slope park slope and they have there on Wednesday the 15th and upstairs
[01:05:50] They have bocce they do a bunch of but come to funny mom
[01:05:54] You got options to see us Monday Tuesday Wednesday this week. We got funny moms. We got fat Tuesdays
[01:05:59] Uh, we got fucking I'm doing a show called pantheon at union hall and then come see me in Chicago
[01:06:12] Providence oh Tampa get Tampa is coming up in two weeks. So come see me. Wow on the 26th
[01:06:18] We'll strip club capitals. I'm trying to get I'm trying to get some pussy from a girl with the double pierced nipples and uh, like a
[01:06:26] Handle and like a tattoo that goes all the way up for a fucking side
[01:06:31] So if you're in Tampa and that describes you come say what's up to me
[01:06:34] I'm gonna be over there. So and everybody else just buy tickets. I guess all right bye