[00:00:00] Suck my ass. Suck me. Suck my ass good.

[00:00:06] That was good, so this is cool.

[00:00:09] So suck me real good.

[00:00:11] Suck me sick.

[00:00:12] Big small. I'm gay and I've never had sex.

[00:00:15] I've never, I've never fucked.

[00:00:17] So you asked for it, folks.

[00:00:19] That's right. And you got it.

[00:00:20] I have reinstalled Modern Warfare.

[00:00:23] And I will.

[00:00:23] Nick is holding the controller.

[00:00:25] They're fetching his online profile right now.

[00:00:28] Oh, there's an update. You're lucky.

[00:00:29] Oh, good.

[00:00:30] No, that's a fast update.

[00:00:32] You know, but it requires a restart.

[00:00:35] Wow, you guys harmonize so well.

[00:00:37] I know.

[00:00:37] Requires a restart.

[00:00:39] Stop and I used to be in an acapella group.

[00:00:41] Barbershop quartet.

[00:00:43] Do you think back in the day,

[00:00:45] barbershop quartets got pussy?

[00:00:47] No, they all fucked each other.

[00:00:48] Yeah, that's true.

[00:00:49] How about a jar bar shop?

[00:00:51] A jar bar shop.

[00:00:52] Okay, that's something.

[00:00:53] And it's in the Indian business.

[00:00:56] Hey, what's up with this guy,

[00:00:57] Modi, he seems like a real piece of work, this guy.

[00:01:01] Oh, yeah.

[00:01:02] What's he doing?

[00:01:04] He's a Hindu nationalist.

[00:01:06] All right, I don't want this.

[00:01:07] This is very loud.

[00:01:09] I don't know what the fuck's happening.

[00:01:10] Whoa, this guy has a cool fucking mask.

[00:01:12] Because it's a Modern Warfare.

[00:01:14] Yeah, but I don't want-

[00:01:15] Is he an insurgent?

[00:01:16] Modern wars, you get mad.

[00:01:17] Look how gay this is.

[00:01:18] They put girls in the-

[00:01:19] Everyone's a girl.

[00:01:20] It's a girl who just got her hair done.

[00:01:22] Yeah, yeah.

[00:01:22] Middle of a fucking combat zone.

[00:01:24] I think people fight as girls now

[00:01:27] because it's hard to hit them.

[00:01:28] The hit box is smaller right here.

[00:01:30] Fuck that, dude.

[00:01:31] Because of Fortnite.

[00:01:33] Yeah, take the girls out of video games.

[00:01:37] Soon as-

[00:01:37] Yeah, I held my tongue on these issues for-

[00:01:40] Whoa, is this guy a terrorist?

[00:01:41] He looks cool.

[00:01:42] I'm rooting for the terrorist.

[00:01:43] Because they're guys.

[00:01:44] Well, no, they're drugs cooler.

[00:01:46] I mean, yes, dudes do rock.

[00:01:47] This is the-

[00:01:48] This is the comtown dudes rock era, by the way.

[00:01:51] For anyone that was confused.

[00:01:54] Yeah, dudes rock.

[00:01:55] This is rock.

[00:01:56] Elizabeth Warren.

[00:01:57] Elizabeth Warren.

[00:01:58] Sometimes that-

[00:01:59] Sometimes that-

[00:02:00] Every morning I wake up-

[00:02:01] The time's up movement is the response to me too.

[00:02:04] It means-

[00:02:05] Time for pussy.

[00:02:07] We get the countdown dude.

[00:02:09] Time's up on-

[00:02:09] Time fucking-

[00:02:10] Count down the U complaining before it's pussy getting-

[00:02:15] Boys fucking-

[00:02:16] Oh my god.

[00:02:17] Harvey's-

[00:02:17] Harvey's-

[00:02:18] Pussy-

[00:02:19] Pussy Patrol.

[00:02:21] Harvey's pussy Patrol?

[00:02:22] Harvey's-

[00:02:23] The HPP dude.

[00:02:26] That man is over there acting like he can't even walk.

[00:02:29] I know.

[00:02:29] What does he think is going to happen?

[00:02:30] They're going to be like,

[00:02:31] Well, I guess he didn't rape since he can't walk upstairs.

[00:02:33] Yeah, that's my plan.

[00:02:35] Oh yeah?

[00:02:36] Nick and I were talking about this-

[00:02:37] We're talking about this the other day.

[00:02:39] Like when I get caught for computer.

[00:02:41] The junior soprano move.

[00:02:42] Yeah, if we ever have to go to court,

[00:02:44] we're going to get neck braces.

[00:02:45] Yeah.

[00:02:46] Matching neck brace.

[00:02:47] That's pretty good.

[00:02:48] And we're going to crap our pants right there and then-

[00:02:51] Dude, I can't get over how cool the insurgents looked in this game.

[00:02:54] They make you want to root for the insurgents.

[00:02:55] Oh, maybe that's what they're doing, dude.

[00:02:58] Maybe this is a fucking-

[00:03:00] Fucking Nazi-

[00:03:01] That's why you can do-

[00:03:02] And they make the good guys girls and they make the insurgents cool guys.

[00:03:06] And that way they're making the-

[00:03:09] Making them all, you know,

[00:03:11] Making them all Nazis.

[00:03:13] Yeah, you can do this shit where you like execute people.

[00:03:18] If you sneak up behind them.

[00:03:20] Nice.

[00:03:20] And it changes the third person and shows the animation.

[00:03:23] Whoa.

[00:03:23] And it's like half the players are girls now.

[00:03:26] So you can just go up and slit a woman's throat.

[00:03:29] In the middle of-

[00:03:30] Damn.

[00:03:31] In the middle of like whatever this is.

[00:03:33] Russia, I guess.

[00:03:34] Do you think some of this is-

[00:03:36] There are a few people that realize they're trans by playing with women.

[00:03:39] Maybe these games.

[00:03:40] I think that's why you don't like video games.

[00:03:42] Because you're worried about that happening.

[00:03:44] I love video games.

[00:03:45] There's definitely been like a 25.

[00:03:47] I'm just not good at them.

[00:03:48] And I'm not worried about it.

[00:03:49] I would love to be a woman.

[00:03:50] Unfortunately, I'm a straight man.

[00:03:54] There's definitely been like-

[00:03:55] Who would get ahead from a girly enough man?

[00:03:58] So maybe I'm bi.

[00:03:59] Yeah.

[00:03:59] But mostly on the Kinsey scale,

[00:04:04] I would say I'm four or whatever.

[00:04:06] One.

[00:04:07] Which are two.

[00:04:08] Whichever one is like mostly straight,

[00:04:10] but might get as cocksucked in the right.

[00:04:12] You catch him on the right day.

[00:04:13] You catch me having a really good or really bad day.

[00:04:19] And I might get my dick sucked by you if you're a cute man with lip stick on.

[00:04:23] Yeah.

[00:04:24] Because you want lipstick on the day?

[00:04:26] I want-

[00:04:26] No, I mean, I guess I just want to look like a woman.

[00:04:29] You want his nails did.

[00:04:31] At least they don't have to be fully a full set.

[00:04:35] Dangly earrings.

[00:04:37] That elongate his neckline.

[00:04:39] I don't know about all that.

[00:04:40] Okay.

[00:04:40] I don't need that.

[00:04:41] I'm just trying to ask you what kind of guys do.

[00:04:48] There was a guy who had a face like a woman that I saw and I was like,

[00:04:51] damn, I probably would catch some down from this guy.

[00:04:54] Mm-hmm.

[00:04:55] Yeah.

[00:04:56] You know what I'm saying?

[00:05:00] Sort of right jokes at a coffee shop.

[00:05:03] Is you imagining about some guy buying coffee sucking your dick?

[00:05:08] You're like, yeah, I'm a straight guy.

[00:05:09] It's him that's gay.

[00:05:12] He's the one that's gay.

[00:05:13] So I found him.

[00:05:14] I beat the fuck out of him.

[00:05:15] I beat the shit.

[00:05:16] I beat those stuff.

[00:05:17] That fucking homo, dude.

[00:05:19] How dare he?

[00:05:20] No, I smiled at him.

[00:05:21] I said, what's up?

[00:05:22] Do you think this is the Matthew Shepard story?

[00:05:23] I said, what's up?

[00:05:24] We're going to go hang out maybe next week.

[00:05:26] What do you think this is?

[00:05:27] Yeah.

[00:05:28] They call that gay panic, dude.

[00:05:30] Gay panic.

[00:05:30] That is gay panic.

[00:05:32] Gay panic.

[00:05:32] Yeah.

[00:05:33] Uh, fuck.

[00:05:33] What's a panic at the disco song?

[00:05:35] Oh, I hope-

[00:05:36] I hope-

[00:05:36] I hope it's real living.

[00:05:37] Oh, is that them?

[00:05:38] Yeah.

[00:05:39] I always get them in the other one confused.

[00:05:41] Call out boy.

[00:05:41] Yep.

[00:05:41] Yeah.

[00:05:43] Panic if this goes fall out boy.

[00:05:44] Say it and show.

[00:05:47] Classic fall out boy.

[00:05:50] Really?

[00:05:50] Yeah.

[00:05:51] That's a weiser.

[00:05:52] No.

[00:05:52] Actually, no.

[00:05:53] Don't get it twisted.

[00:05:55] I'm a nam.

[00:05:56] I know.

[00:05:58] We're going to file that under no.

[00:06:00] So to answer your question,

[00:06:02] has someone found out their transfer video games?

[00:06:04] Yes.

[00:06:05] 1,000.

[00:06:06] Like almost-

[00:06:07] Probably 20% of the people who've listened to this podcast.

[00:06:09] There is a 50-

[00:06:11] Tweet-long tweet storm about someone playing as fucking,

[00:06:15] I don't know, some chicken, super smashed brothers

[00:06:18] and feeling like they weren't, you know,

[00:06:20] they were a woman.

[00:06:21] For sure.

[00:06:22] Yeah, that's true.

[00:06:22] Yeah.

[00:06:23] Playing as daisy,

[00:06:24] just imagine getting your fucking-

[00:06:25] It was a skirt lifted up

[00:06:27] and fucking Bowser Jr.

[00:06:29] Putting this fucking green penis in your-

[00:06:31] I mean, he's a baby, but-

[00:06:33] Yeah.

[00:06:34] I don't know if I should have picked Bowser Jr.

[00:06:37] Dude, you're going to go to jail.

[00:06:38] Fuck.

[00:06:39] When the police find out.

[00:06:42] When the police find out-

[00:06:44] Maybe Boo putting his ghost cock in you.

[00:06:47] Oh, I'm thinking-

[00:06:48] I'm now I'm thinking Mario Tennis,

[00:06:50] not super smashed brothers.

[00:06:51] Super Mario.

[00:06:52] Lucario putting a fucking energy,

[00:06:54] blue energy dick in your pussy.

[00:06:56] Super Mario.

[00:06:58] I love playing with Lucario

[00:06:59] because I just do fireballs all the time

[00:07:01] and I don't really-

[00:07:02] I just spam.

[00:07:03] I love to spam fighting games

[00:07:04] because sometimes you beat guys that are good at it

[00:07:06] and it pisses them the hell off.

[00:07:08] It pisses them the fuck off.

[00:07:10] And I'm the kind of guy

[00:07:11] I'm a shakest shit up

[00:07:13] when I enter a fighting arena.

[00:07:17] Anyway, you guys know-

[00:07:19] You guys ever meet a guy that you want to get head from?

[00:07:22] Um, never in real life.

[00:07:25] Yeah, we've had this conversation.

[00:07:26] Oh, have we?

[00:07:27] Sebastian Bach from Skid Row.

[00:07:29] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[00:07:29] Young Sebastian Bach.

[00:07:30] Yeah, Julian Castle Black.

[00:07:32] That's right.

[00:07:32] We got from-

[00:07:33] You're right.

[00:07:33] We got from Queens.

[00:07:34] You're right.

[00:07:36] Make the entire band stuff like-

[00:07:37] You're just a hair metal?

[00:07:38] Yeah, no, I'm thinking about people-

[00:07:40] Your hair metal gas.

[00:07:41] This is not people that I

[00:07:43] want to suck my dick

[00:07:44] because they're attractive

[00:07:45] because they don't like them.

[00:07:46] Oh, you're using an hour.

[00:07:48] Because you hate your penis.

[00:07:52] See, I look at my penis as a gift to bestow.

[00:07:56] A little-

[00:07:57] Because you'd stop-

[00:07:57] Loves as far.

[00:07:58] A little malfunctioning gift, you know?

[00:08:01] Like a-

[00:08:01] Toy Soldier, you have to be-

[00:08:02] I'm starting to yell at-

[00:08:03] On the table at Urban Outfitters.

[00:08:05] Yeah, exactly.

[00:08:06] Yeah, a tiny novelty broken penis.

[00:08:10] It's funny because it's a joke.

[00:08:11] It's a gag.

[00:08:12] Well, it's not a joke.

[00:08:13] It's a gag.

[00:08:13] It's a gag.

[00:08:13] It's a

[00:08:16] not a gag gift.

[00:08:17] It is a gag gift.

[00:08:18] It's not a gift.

[00:08:18] Depending on how shallow your throne is.

[00:08:20] It's throwing a sight.

[00:08:21] It's a gag.

[00:08:22] No, they're-

[00:08:23] Gag and a shell.

[00:08:25] Yeah, it's supposed to make you throw up.

[00:08:26] Yeah.

[00:08:27] Although I have-

[00:08:27] Damn.

[00:08:28] Someone pretend-

[00:08:29] It's funny.

[00:08:29] That's right.

[00:08:29] They're-

[00:08:30] To gag and I hate that.

[00:08:31] A girl sucks your dick and she starts throwing a-

[00:08:33] What?

[00:08:33] You're like, I guess it's too big.

[00:08:35] I-

[00:08:38] Yeah.

[00:08:38] See, that's why you guys don't get wrong.

[00:08:40] Because every time a girl's ever sucked my dick,

[00:08:43] she's always thrown up.

[00:08:44] So tell me who's not making a gag.

[00:08:47] You fucking losers.

[00:08:48] I'm fucking Cody Huesdack.

[00:08:50] His comic is-

[00:08:51] I guess he's still an author.

[00:08:52] I don't know what the fuck he's doing now.

[00:08:54] Very funny guy, but he had-

[00:08:55] Well, it's-

[00:08:56] I don't want to just repeat his joke, but-

[00:08:58] Yeah.

[00:08:58] One time he said he just like-

[00:09:00] He was segwaying on stage and he was like,

[00:09:02] a little bit about myself.

[00:09:03] Sometimes I like to get drunk and eat craft macaroni and cheese.

[00:09:07] Throw up all over my penis while masturbating

[00:09:09] and pretend it's from a beautiful woman that couldn't handle it.

[00:09:11] Well-

[00:09:11] That's pretty good.

[00:09:14] Yeah.

[00:09:14] Respect.

[00:09:15] Copyright Cody.

[00:09:17] Copyright Cody-

[00:09:18] It's like we played his-

[00:09:19] Cody Zeller.

[00:09:20] Cody-

[00:09:20] Cody-

[00:09:22] In the house.

[00:09:22] Oh yeah, that's-

[00:09:23] Yeah.

[00:09:24] Cody in the house.

[00:09:24] That's the task of all players.

[00:09:25] Um.

[00:09:27] Cody-

[00:09:27] Copyright that guy.

[00:09:28] Cody Huesdack.

[00:09:29] Cody Huesdack.

[00:09:30] So it's like-

[00:09:31] It's okay to repeat someone's-

[00:09:34] else's joke for profit on your podcast.

[00:09:37] That's right.

[00:09:37] That makes money.

[00:09:38] Oh, this is right.

[00:09:38] As long as-

[00:09:39] As long as you give-

[00:09:40] Well, we can write him a five dollar check.

[00:09:42] I'll write him a check.

[00:09:43] For five dollars.

[00:09:44] Cody, if you're out there,

[00:09:46] didn't touch with me,

[00:09:47] we'll cut you a check.

[00:09:49] We should just start doing that.

[00:09:50] Let's buy the rights to things.

[00:09:52] And then just read them.

[00:09:53] Actually, honestly,

[00:09:54] that would be a lot better than having comic guests on.

[00:09:57] I'd be like,

[00:09:57] just tell me your best jokes.

[00:09:58] I'll repeat them,

[00:09:59] give you credit, and then I'll send you a royalty check.

[00:10:01] Yeah, we'll send you a royalty check.

[00:10:02] Yeah, tell us a plug.

[00:10:03] Whatever you want.

[00:10:04] Yeah, plug whatever you want.

[00:10:04] I'll just start licensing jokes

[00:10:06] rather than having people come over to my apartment

[00:10:08] and ask me how I've been.

[00:10:09] Yeah.

[00:10:09] As if-

[00:10:10] As if we're friends.

[00:10:11] Hopefully.

[00:10:14] As if-

[00:10:15] As if we weren't just guys that did a handful of shows together

[00:10:18] in 2015.

[00:10:19] That's right.

[00:10:20] Yeah.

[00:10:21] Oh, yeah.

[00:10:22] Look, I hope you out on principle.

[00:10:24] Yep.

[00:10:24] I'm a man of principle.

[00:10:26] I'm a man of principle.

[00:10:26] If nothing else, I'm a man of principle.

[00:10:28] Yeah.

[00:10:29] Yaki Mo-

[00:10:29] Mo-

[00:10:30] Ju.

[00:10:31] A mo-

[00:10:31] I think I saw that word somewhere.

[00:10:33] Yaki Mo-

[00:10:34] Ju?

[00:10:34] I don't know what that means.

[00:10:35] It sounds good.

[00:10:36] It sounds good.

[00:10:36] That should be our gang's name.

[00:10:38] Yeah.

[00:10:38] Our crew's name.

[00:10:39] We should get-

[00:10:40] I want to get-

[00:10:40] The savages.

[00:10:41] I went to Muji in the cashier

[00:10:43] ahead of a bunch of yakuza tattoos.

[00:10:45] Whoa.

[00:10:46] Wow.

[00:10:46] Scary.

[00:10:47] You know, it's like-

[00:10:48] First of all, it's kind of fucked up

[00:10:50] that they made you get those tattoos to work here.

[00:10:51] That's true.

[00:10:52] But now I want them to-

[00:10:53] Yeah.

[00:10:54] I want like the colorful ones,

[00:10:55] all over my chest.

[00:10:56] A koi fish across your chest.

[00:10:58] Yeah.

[00:10:58] What's his name?

[00:10:59] Ben Affleck has a big Asian colorful tattoo on his back.

[00:11:04] Massive back piece.

[00:11:05] That's going to be me, dude.

[00:11:06] I love that guy.

[00:11:07] That is going to be you.

[00:11:08] That would be me.

[00:11:09] Just fucking the most depressed person in the entire world.

[00:11:12] Every picture of him in public,

[00:11:14] he looks so sad.

[00:11:16] I love him.

[00:11:17] Well, he fucked up his marriage with Jennifer Garner, I guess.

[00:11:20] Is that why?

[00:11:21] Yeah, he was probably-

[00:11:22] He was like happily married.

[00:11:22] He was on the side.

[00:11:24] Yeah.

[00:11:24] I can't wait to see-

[00:11:25] My man was over there to depart now.

[00:11:27] What movies has he been in?

[00:11:29] Goodwill Hunt.

[00:11:31] No, but like that makes sense.

[00:11:32] What do you mean?

[00:11:33] In the timeline of when he was married to her.

[00:11:36] He was in the Batman.

[00:11:38] Well, Geeley, he was getting his dick sucked by J-Lo.

[00:11:40] Yeah.

[00:11:41] I think-

[00:11:42] Yeah, I think he's-

[00:11:43] That's pretty nice to have had sex with J-Lo.

[00:11:46] There's a new movie-

[00:11:47] To have that on your resume, that's pretty good.

[00:11:49] There's the end of it all, you end up alone.

[00:11:51] At the very end-

[00:11:52] But you have the memories of-

[00:11:53] Even time after-

[00:11:54] Even time after-

[00:11:54] Your dick has been in a hot person's mouth.

[00:11:56] Second worst Batman.

[00:11:59] You know?

[00:12:00] After who?

[00:12:01] Don't say it.

[00:12:04] Yeah.

[00:12:05] Don't do that to my guy, dude.

[00:12:06] Which guy?

[00:12:07] You don't even know.

[00:12:07] I know-

[00:12:08] Christian Bale is the worst Batman.

[00:12:09] What?

[00:12:10] No.

[00:12:11] No.

[00:12:11] If you think about it, he brought the least-

[00:12:13] To those movies.

[00:12:15] He brought-

[00:12:15] He brought nothing new to Batman.

[00:12:17] Wow.

[00:12:18] He brought the recipe for-

[00:12:19] My man just took a hot-

[00:12:20] Just a hot take right out of-

[00:12:21] Out of no out of thin air.

[00:12:22] When he puts not bad.

[00:12:23] It's not a bad-

[00:12:24] Those movies will be good with-

[00:12:26] You could put almost any competent actor-

[00:12:28] He was good as Bruce though.

[00:12:30] Why?

[00:12:31] He was a-

[00:12:32] He was good-

[00:12:32] He was charming devil.

[00:12:33] He pretended to be dumb.

[00:12:35] You're right?

[00:12:36] And be a playboy.

[00:12:37] But he'd really actually be like-

[00:12:39] Fighting crime at night.

[00:12:40] You don't actually like him as Bruce.

[00:12:41] You like him as fucking Patrick Bateman in your-

[00:12:44] I've never seen that movie so-

[00:12:46] You don't even try.

[00:12:46] You'd seen it.

[00:12:47] I've never seen it.

[00:12:48] You've never seen it.

[00:12:49] You never seen it.

[00:12:49] No.

[00:12:50] You've seen it.

[00:12:50] Why do you like it?

[00:12:51] Why?

[00:12:51] I don't know, man.

[00:12:52] I don't fucking know.

[00:12:53] You've seen it and you like-

[00:12:54] I've seen people-

[00:12:55] It seems to be about business cards and getting pussy mostly.

[00:12:58] Yeah.

[00:12:59] That's right up your alley.

[00:13:01] That is true.

[00:13:02] I do like some card stock and getting my fucking-

[00:13:04] You should get business cards just to hand out the women.

[00:13:07] No joke, I can't-

[00:13:08] That is the only-

[00:13:09] It's a bitch card.

[00:13:10] Yeah.

[00:13:12] Only hand this out.

[00:13:13] Please DM me.

[00:13:15] Only see-

[00:13:15] If you're trying to get-

[00:13:17] Give my balls a little mouth bath.

[00:13:19] Yeah.

[00:13:19] If you're trying to let my balls-

[00:13:21] We only hand these cards out to a bitch.

[00:13:23] I mean-

[00:13:25] These aren't for you.

[00:13:26] You just have a set up like answering service for horse.

[00:13:29] With like an automated melders-

[00:13:31] Melders working on this-

[00:13:32] Or is she just have elders?

[00:13:34] I have elders.

[00:13:34] Very well.

[00:13:35] Yeah, please.

[00:13:36] That is not the idea.

[00:13:38] I'm not the only-

[00:13:38] That message is not the idea.

[00:13:40] That's the idea.

[00:13:41] You just have a guy in India who's-

[00:13:43] Yeah, it's not the idea.

[00:13:46] How interested are you in-

[00:13:49] Just looking at-

[00:13:50] Cokesing a soft dick

[00:13:51] in getting hard over hours.

[00:13:56] Taking multiple breaks.

[00:13:57] Either because he's getting winded or his penis isn't hard anymore.

[00:14:00] Winded from not moving.

[00:14:02] From being on the ball.

[00:14:03] No.

[00:14:04] How dare you?

[00:14:05] I do work.

[00:14:07] You do work.

[00:14:07] I do work in there, bro.

[00:14:09] When I'm fucking.

[00:14:10] I'm an un- uncaged beast.

[00:14:13] When I smell pussy.

[00:14:15] It's all about pheromones for me, dude.

[00:14:18] But you know, sometimes even-

[00:14:20] You know,

[00:14:22] it's the king of the jungle has to take a little nap.

[00:14:26] You know?

[00:14:26] The lion?

[00:14:27] The lion, dude.

[00:14:28] You've seen him.

[00:14:29] You've heard that song.

[00:14:30] The lion king of the jungle.

[00:14:33] In the jungle, the lion jungle, the lion king of the night.

[00:14:35] Yep.

[00:14:37] The lion king of the night.

[00:14:40] In the jungle, the lion jungle.

[00:14:43] The lion king of the night time.

[00:14:46] Woooo.

[00:14:49] Suck my fucking leg.

[00:14:53] Billie Jordan.

[00:14:57] So, my d***,

[00:14:59] and f***ing jungle.

[00:15:00] Oh, motherf***ing jungle night.

[00:15:03] Let's go.

[00:15:04] Leave it in.

[00:15:05] D-d-d-d-d-d.

[00:15:06] So you wanna be a lion with a

[00:15:10] B And B And B And B And B And B And B And B And B And B And B And B And B And B And B And B And B And B And B And B And B And B And B And B And B and B And B And B We

[00:15:11] Lion pressure lion pressure lion pressure lion pressure

[00:15:20] lion pressure lion pressure speaking of lion drunk as mine making

[00:15:29] forty two million dollars of one show lion man lion girl

[00:15:44] for mallen down there you know what goes on in allen town the factories

[00:15:52] they're closing you they cannot wait for the factories to close

[00:16:04] turn the wrong way

[00:16:07] just the whole is going off stage we still gotta go to MSG and see the king I

[00:16:17] would love to honestly the king of the jungle himself yeah he's there every

[00:16:22] fucking week every month

[00:16:25] and there is a dick in my eyes

[00:16:37] that's correct

[00:16:40] becoming inside me you know I can't wait to get HIV

[00:16:48] there's no pills for guys like me anymore we've all got AIDS from being

[00:16:55] the whore I can't wait to get fucked on my tugboat

[00:17:02] here's a talk the down Easter down Easter Lexus it's a steam captain

[00:17:09] yeah that's pretty cool

[00:17:14] well I'm on a man's wait well I'm scrolling around on grinder and I'm

[00:17:24] looking for a man to blow that's right there's no guys left for guys like me

[00:17:35] then that's you know what I've never I don't remember hearing that song and

[00:17:39] I'm gonna listen to when I get to the down Easter Alexa sounds like a cool

[00:17:42] melody yeah even Nick singing I'm kind of into just Nick's shitty version of it

[00:17:48] I'm like it's a good version I'm doing a good job of saying yeah yeah you know

[00:17:52] what I mean compared to Billy Joel you're not well I'm sitting on a penis

[00:18:01] with my hand on a row and some balls respect to the king yeah what do we got

[00:18:11] wait I let's see the whole entire really Joel over okay okay what are the

[00:18:15] songs uptown girl we're about Italian restaurant yeah that's fun song but

[00:18:20] there's no real one's from in the time there's no real I don't care what you

[00:18:24] say anymore I am gay go ahead with your own life I'm sucking car

[00:18:36] fucking on a day gets my life fuck dude there was one song I really liked by

[00:18:53] him but I can't remember what it was called yeah yeah well think about it was a

[00:18:56] cool it was a good one too yeah but what are you gonna do I think it's you know

[00:19:02] what's the matter with the dick I'm sucking can't you tell that it's way too

[00:19:07] small that's good yeah what about you just because I'm a straight a loser

[00:19:16] doesn't mean my dick is small and some of all everybody's mad because my dick

[00:19:23] is tiny so all my balls and my ass is really why

[00:19:29] suck and then gee can ask stuff my cheeks

[00:19:33] fuck yeah I'm fucking gay zero I just fucking crash the plane into the fucking

[00:19:43] terminal I would have a crash landing directly into the gate and kill everyone

[00:19:48] waiting for the next flight as well as everyone on board I got one he didn't

[00:19:54] suck my penis but I sucked his penis cuz I'm really gay

[00:20:01] sure Billy Joel thanks dude that's we got the whole podcast down to a

[00:20:05] sign a fixed system precision I will say Alexa is looking good yeah I feel like

[00:20:14] well there's a lot of money that's gone into that yeah I should date her I

[00:20:18] think her drawing is that she should have very rudimentary they're so funny yeah

[00:20:22] the drawing done by like 11 you know there's just an adult woman writing and

[00:20:27] writing everything she does is equally her captions are psychotic charges $200

[00:20:31] you go see her at like some like smoking a loud cabaret lounge hell yeah and then

[00:20:36] she hurt like she has like the fucking same mannerisms as like Stephanie

[00:20:40] we're on man TV pretending like a mentally ill woman yeah and yeah I'm

[00:20:47] trying to remember what song I was watching it's on there but she's like

[00:20:50] interpretive dancing the lyrics she's like I left it all behind you know and

[00:20:57] just right now now you know it's just fucking pointing with her finger it's

[00:21:02] very funny that's awesome very funny very funny person's child I got I go I

[00:21:08] go definitely what about this definitely funny you can suck on my penis and

[00:21:14] fuck on my asshole you can I don't know what song is that she's always a woman

[00:21:21] to me yeah I don't know she may have a penis but she's always a woman to me

[00:21:28] well she's I don't remember how the melody

[00:21:35] I don't know that many you don't know that many Billy Joel's not really did you

[00:21:47] know them I know it's funny this is how you've gotten you you're able to get

[00:21:51] through life on like pure like instant gratification from the things in front

[00:21:57] of you true so you're never really confronted like any real existential

[00:22:01] pain that would require you to do things like listen to Billy Joel six months

[00:22:05] that's true yeah I'll just throw on a song I play the hell out of it and I still

[00:22:09] don't remember what it's called yeah you know you don't feel that where you

[00:22:12] like have to just drive around listening to Billy Joel absolutely not or

[00:22:16] never you probably never had a period with fucking early springsteen either I

[00:22:20] actually have a little bit I'll really fuck with springsteen a little more yes

[00:22:23] that's because of my boy Joe list he got me that shit we were on the road he was

[00:22:26] bumping it and I was like okay I thought he likes Pearl Jam I think I like

[00:22:30] skies he does yeah I started you like that album yeah maybe I can burn a couple

[00:22:38] CD yeah why don't you why why don't you come out in the garage with me I got

[00:22:42] something close to Bruce Springsteen I think you might like really what is it

[00:22:48] Joe I'll show you once we get out there to wait so what could positive you listen

[00:22:54] Star Wars my record players kind of messed up okay maybe if you had to suck

[00:22:59] the needle if you could get underneath it just bend over there okay I hope so

[00:23:04] I spilled all this cooking oil all over your asshole I'm gonna clean it out real

[00:23:09] quick with with a really big Q-tip with my clicking with my cleaning tube well

[00:23:17] that's all sounds above board don't look it's just comics hanging out yeah just

[00:23:23] got yeah just got a fellas the brotherhood it is a brotherhood that's for sure it

[00:23:29] is a brotherhood you know I'm saying that's a lot of people don't understand

[00:23:32] that is that we are brothers after all brother if you ever done an open mic

[00:23:36] we're brothers with you're my brother civilians can understand it's a bond

[00:23:40] is civilian could never I relate to a guy that lives in Bushwick that's been

[00:23:44] here for seven months who I've never met mm-hmm yep that thinks it's gonna work

[00:23:49] did okay on three shows in St. Louis and now he's here now he's here do it and

[00:23:53] he's never gonna write new ten minutes he's just gonna learn how to get good at

[00:23:56] open mics yeah by by saying things like I feel like Flanagan up here yeah

[00:24:05] I wish Flanagan were here the king yeah yeah you said when I moved here you could

[00:24:10] crush at any open mic by just referencing Justin Flanagan he was the king of

[00:24:13] every Mike did he really was six years ago playing it was crushing it's your

[00:24:18] boy yo who's giving up pussy great bit yeah great bit in a real question

[00:24:26] he had yeah I miss that dude I mean he's still he's still around his nose dead

[00:24:33] he's dead fuck yeah you don't even know Flanagan died it'd be funny if all the

[00:24:38] fat comedians started dying and you were like I'm fine yeah if I think it's not

[00:24:44] as fast as I am yeah yeah he's husky do we tell we try I tried to get Ethan

[00:24:48] soupy to intervene and save your life he's too busy that's fine I get that yeah

[00:24:56] but if I die my my blood is on his hands no it will be his fault it will be on

[00:25:03] record it won't be it won't be Nick in my fault he had it will be Ethan

[00:25:07] soup please he had his chance to say you're not powerful enough Ethan

[00:25:11] soupy's a fellow alpha do you hear that I take I understand him do you hear that

[00:25:15] now you're gonna save the boy I would listen to him I respect him as a man yes

[00:25:21] you too I will never you know it's a fantastic performance to remember the

[00:25:25] Titans everything fantastic in the butterfly for kidding me fantastic in

[00:25:30] American history I did say he would make you a diet plan a few if you want it

[00:25:33] okay I'll take a diet plan you should you should do it I will I honestly will

[00:25:36] I've been having I don't know what to eat I have been working out and I just

[00:25:40] ordered the same salad every day and it's I'm getting bored of it yeah I went

[00:25:45] to Costco and I got like big family sized salads oh which are they going bad

[00:25:52] well just reminds them that I never think about that I don't really I don't want

[00:26:02] it I have the salad no it's going in the trash you just don't want it and I also

[00:26:08] don't know what you're having it you take one bite you just think about like the

[00:26:12] joy of looking on your firstborn child in the emergency you never had families

[00:26:17] though what are you talking about no but what it would be like me and

[00:26:20] I'm not yeah we are we are if you ever seen that Nicholas Cage movie the

[00:26:26] family man we're both sort of trad guys that's the weather manage where you

[00:26:30] think you know it's the family man you're thinking of the weather is the

[00:26:33] family man with Nicholas suck Nicholas suck take a little bit about a man who's

[00:26:38] a powerful businessman but any broke up with a girl at a very like pivotal point

[00:26:43] in his career and then he wakes up one day next to her in bed and he meets his

[00:26:47] kids and he sees the life he could have had living out in the suburbs you know

[00:26:51] it sucks and he's like fuck this I want to go back to my awesome apartment falls

[00:26:55] in love with the family falls in love with the kids I want to go back to my

[00:26:59] awesome apartment where I guess everything is probably like really tall

[00:27:02] and like black and like yeah yeah like slick sleek yeah yeah there's no

[00:27:06] handles on it he's got a door he's got a teak lined closet with the you know

[00:27:13] just a million shirts that all look the same damn maybe I should rewatch the

[00:27:17] long good Friday tonight I keep trying to watch that we can get it on Amazon it's

[00:27:22] a fun one I haven't I'm having that urge to smoke weed again the long good

[00:27:28] penis the theme of the long good Friday that synth song is like banger yeah one

[00:27:32] goes hard that's the guy the guy did it did the score is from it's not

[00:27:38] Georgia a Marauder it's someone else that's a cool name Georgia a Marauder yeah

[00:27:42] that's actually my name that's my that's my you'll never be named you're my name

[00:27:46] is Georgia you could never pull up my name is Georgia you'll you're not a

[00:27:50] Georgia or whatever Marauder Marauder yeah he did like that's my name he did

[00:27:59] scar if you're a Marauder I'm sorry it'll never be your name he was this Italian

[00:28:04] she's your giordia king of the king of the synth you know he did fuck with that

[00:28:07] he did Scarface Italian disco I hope you

[00:28:10] make it a little it's how low music it's how it's a little it's a little since

[00:28:15] the media's music of all time no it's it's pretty sick dude it's a little

[00:28:20] disco I like this you know you know some 14 year old at times we're getting

[00:28:25] finger pop to that man's music oh yeah in the fucking 70s oh my god just leathery

[00:28:31] ass fucking Wops and it is salt you too based on some wild shit with these

[00:28:36] 15 second ads oh my god it makes me I'm gonna find out what company this is and

[00:28:40] go to the office how much is you yeah how much is you too bread it's

[00:28:48] no I don't need tax preparation

[00:28:52] oh yeah oh my god this longer Friday no this is the other one I'm trying to get

[00:29:00] the hit I need to be wearing neon pink right now I need my shirt open down to

[00:29:12] my belly button I got changed and they're covered in so much sweat it looks like

[00:29:16] baby you want to get into going to disco honestly this is what they're

[00:29:20] bumping yes no let's go to the no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no

[00:29:25] no no no no no it's part of my life saw I hope that kind of life so we're going

[00:29:28] to get different myself without you yeah I'm welcoming you into my life so yeah

[00:29:33] we're you get out but my I don't get out girlfriend I get offered by women

[00:29:42] come here baby dude I want to do I can't wait how are you doing baby get a

[00:29:47] throw up a blue liquor all over your pussy

[00:29:52] this is garbage do you know how to wear a cuckpom baby do you have that I've

[00:29:59] seen the broken bin it

[00:30:02] oh hold on now we're really getting somewhere oh fuck we're vibing over here

[00:30:10] oh fuck let's get some molly I'm actually having a great I want to do a bump yeah

[00:30:16] I spoke too soon yeah they got to do some modeling go to the club oh I feel so

[00:30:26] good right now it's a la deesco for am I never would have never going to die

[00:30:30] yeah about that my heart attack yeah a stroke I'm already already 31 and I

[00:30:36] already have high blood oh my god I'm so we're still I'm trying to wear silks

[00:30:44] right now

[00:30:49] yes

[00:30:56] yeah let's start let's start clubbing that's so fun I became rich stealing

[00:31:01] diamonds from african hey hey guy hey Ken Laszlo no where's is that the guy

[00:31:07] that did the theme for no I don't remember here it's a few years ago

[00:31:11] I was the guy's name George you Marauder Marauder yeah he worked on the the

[00:31:17] daff punk the last F-sock oh yeah yeah yeah they talked about him and the guy

[00:31:23] from chic now like my penis fuck my asshole let me come inside your pussy

[00:31:29] that kind of shit that that that which does not kill me makes my penis smaller

[00:31:39] it's Francis Monkman oh okay of course of course that's not as good a classic

[00:31:45] Monkman track yeah that is not a good name is French or Georgia or Marauder

[00:31:50] no way fuck Italians have some good shit that the the song that plays in the

[00:31:55] credits for for gems is a guy named Gigi de Agostino

[00:32:00] which is years ago no the fucking ads did you just you're turning into your father

[00:32:10] okay

[00:32:15] oh yes so are you fucking kidding me right now yes oh fuck dude oh my god I'm

[00:32:28] about to do a fucking rock be any right now give me a gun I'm invincible when I

[00:32:34] listen to yes good

[00:32:40] honestly I feel like I'm about to slay some orks right now

[00:32:46] good jazziest yes the jazz is a nice move so good before I was trying to get

[00:32:56] pussy from an elf you know I'm saying it felt fantasy but now I'm trying to

[00:33:01] smoke a pipe and be a fucking mobster get pushed from a lady with diamonds on

[00:33:09] yanks oh shit a movie fucking rules yeah that movie sick dude I want the I

[00:33:16] want to listen to funny how like tough Bob Hoskins is he's probably five foot

[00:33:20] three stars in here yeah he's but he's like barrels chest it yeah and he's

[00:33:24] taller than you know he's not taller than me and he puts out an uber no I'm 6 to

[00:33:28] there's like an energy to him that's like new manly an oovovra oovovra

[00:33:34] yeah and you know something you'll never have that you know you're of respect

[00:33:41] oh you're talking about my energy you never had an uber of respect where is

[00:33:46] myself that's what my uber I'm dripping in respect to for it's not respect but

[00:33:52] it's an impenetrable it's sort of like it's not an oil it's not a oil up oil

[00:33:56] too fat no it's not that you it's not like I'm trying to think of like certain

[00:34:03] animals have a lipid layer outside of them that's not what I have to be clear

[00:34:08] we're hippos it's not like that no it's not that's what I'm trying to think of

[00:34:12] it is not what they have yes it is I know what you're talking about to now

[00:34:17] don't remember the word for it but you have that I wasn't even thinking about

[00:34:22] that no I don't actually yeah no you brought it up I actually remember that I

[00:34:28] know I'm thinking about it more and you do I don't know I do actually I hate to

[00:34:34] have to go to I just remembered I hate it I have to go to the let me check out

[00:34:37] the books myself actually the bigger books my book actually I'm getting on

[00:34:45] the latter and on the scroll parchment paper I'm for one million years the

[00:34:53] truth has been that he has that thing we were from the oldest book that's ever

[00:35:01] been the old there's never been an older book damn it dude and it says that he

[00:35:06] has hold on I'm looking at some tablets and cuniform don't care that doesn't

[00:35:10] count you the book is all get some Sanskrit tablets no no

[00:35:20] no I know actually he isn't it's not it doesn't say that it says something at

[00:35:34] what I am saying yeah it's not that's not part of it

[00:35:47] but they're about to get into sense have to leave yeah you should do we should

[00:35:53] start I saw my little keyboard yeah we should go to guitar center hackle them

[00:35:58] down here be a triple keyboard band yeah oh my god that'd be great the triple

[00:36:04] the dual not what's what's dueling but for three we need a word for that

[00:36:08] ruling I don't think it's true yeah cuz duo is two and tree is three is there

[00:36:17] is there a word for three-way fight cuz men as a twat menage it yep menage

[00:36:23] twang we're menage a twang a menage a twat since that might be the name of our

[00:36:28] first album what about since majat wa sit in a

[00:36:32] sit in a shit swap to a twat dude that's our band's name not menage

[00:36:41] man I mean man I mean oh man man I yeah yes cuz it's you have to know no man I

[00:36:50] just wanted to make sure we're on the same thing all right that's not the name

[00:36:55] of our band name is not a nice dude no it is not that people are not a

[00:37:02] bit not that name your band is just me no it's not it's like a play on the

[00:37:10] najat wa it's not a twat it's not a zit one that's a good name that's a good name

[00:37:28] the people who speak that yeah fuck France did you

[00:37:48] had it for 40 years it sounds like deaf some three two more work out to be

[00:37:52] should be and do double but the boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo

[00:37:59] honestly I don't fuck with France I decided yeah France sucks no I just

[00:38:03] always suck it's your first their site food is not good Francis Francis the

[00:38:07] first thing that a baby learns is like okay you know there's other there's

[00:38:11] other cultures other than ours and then it's like France they their letters are

[00:38:15] stupid yep and they like bait bag baguette bread yep bread and wine what's

[00:38:21] wrong with that instead of beer yeah go over there man I'm a franca file dude

[00:38:25] you know and yeah and you're Islamophobic so that makes no I'm not Islam

[00:38:29] a football guy your favorite all of the people your natural enemy is the Muslim

[00:38:33] no I appreciate it Muslim de Muslim de plum

[00:38:37] Muslim de plum

[00:38:40] that's the name you sign under drawings of the prophet Muhammad that you

[00:38:47] mean you're Muslim de plum yeah yeah

[00:38:52] and

[00:38:55] it was long the blue gym gym

[00:39:01] the

[00:39:01] little bit I'm really I'm really in the France these days are you oh yeah do you

[00:39:06] want to be sure going trip I want to go dude I want to go to France and it's

[00:39:10] so it's China's China's gonna be sick I wish I would go with me when are you

[00:39:14] going after we go to Australia you're gonna go China I'm gonna do like three

[00:39:18] weeks in China nice wow but yeah nobody fucks with China I don't want to go to

[00:39:23] China no I would ask you amazing I gotta go for a look I know neither you guys

[00:39:28] want to go no I kind of want to go to the zone we're not going together no I

[00:39:32] want to go don't want to go we're not going I kind of want to know neither one

[00:39:36] of us especially you Adam don't want to go I would like to go I know I would like

[00:39:41] to go I know I would like to cancel I'm not going I'm not going anymore I want

[00:39:47] to go I'm not going and then we're all waiting to go back home and it's like

[00:39:50] where's Nick Josh like welcome to airplane welcome to Chinese like Raiden

[00:39:59] yeah aren't you ready to go to America and he's like change the plans

[00:40:05] I have to make another trip I'm going on vacation I'd spent six months learning

[00:40:15] Chinese which you may notice I'm speaking right now

[00:40:20] oh my god he taught himself Chinese from the movie Mortal Kombat

[00:40:24] mmm-hmm yeah Christopher Lambert who is Chinese and plays very Chinese I'm

[00:40:30] going I've been sucking penis for 300 years so chao Khan won't find me

[00:40:40] fuck you right what did you do that I don't know man China so crowded years I

[00:40:46] did not recognize that my power was electricity I thought it was sucking

[00:40:52] cock I got really good at it I thought my power my secret move would be sucking

[00:40:58] cock until I discovered the power of electricity and now my fatality is

[00:41:04] electricity rather than sucking a man to completion

[00:41:09] why he's that even kill that he would kill him Raiden finish you no no no

[00:41:17] stop not that that's not what no we're not on that gay shit I didn't mean fit I

[00:41:23] meant kill him oh my god I didn't mean finish him with your mouth with your

[00:41:28] mouth that's disgusting everybody else get in here the voice calls in all the

[00:41:37] other Mortal Kombat guys to kill the game Mortal Kombat guy disgusting

[00:41:43] blasphemous

[00:41:44] totality anomaly abnormality HIV ality virality yeah cuz that was that

[00:41:57] animalities and animalities and animal remember that was a baby one yeah we

[00:42:02] turn into a baby and then fuck that guy you know what baby ality that would be

[00:42:08] embarrassing to get raped by a baby feet talent wait you turn you fuck someone

[00:42:12] as a baby no baby ality was a real baby the thing becomes the guy you beat

[00:42:18] becomes a baby and then you fucking baby a baby ality is a finisher introducing

[00:42:23] Mortal Kombat to the move allows players to turn their opponents into an infant

[00:42:26] version of the character the infant version is often only wearing a diaper

[00:42:30] there are sometimes in a full outfit to perform a baby alley this player

[00:42:35] perform a special button combination for their character and have won the final

[00:42:38] round using only higher low kick oh really yeah so you can only use kicks yeah

[00:42:44] after a baby ality is performed as a son of a baby crying plays but you don't

[00:42:50] fuck it like you said that's what I remember fuck the baby now it's time to

[00:42:56] fuck the baby and now you must fuck it braided and prove you're not gay I don't

[00:43:05] see how that would prove that I'm not gay but I am gay

[00:43:14] that's why you're making me fight it because I'm gay

[00:43:19] why would I prove that I'm not good then the only reason I'm here and then from

[00:43:25] the get-goers because I'm a gay guy oh that's right that's right I forgot yes

[00:43:38] I'm sorry that now that's coming back to me I've kind of been on autopilot

[00:43:51] I've been getting into Xanax because I have borderline personality disorder and

[00:44:02] my boyfriend is in paying attention to me when I cut myself

[00:44:10] Mortal Kombat where we choose the best fighters from all over Bushwick make

[00:44:20] them compete to blow a load directly on my face we have a 15 minute conversation

[00:44:29] about Christopher Lash and then they fuck me in my mouth that is the Mortal

[00:44:36] Kombat announcer if he was a whore that went to Pratt

[00:44:44] mmm-hmm yep okay who's Christopher Lash like I need to get up on this what's your name again my name is

[00:44:50] Madeline well you've got a very hot woman's body my name is Maddie can I stop

[00:44:58] talking like that 95 pounds I'm really looking forward to getting my dick

[00:45:03] sucked the same haircut as a cocker span I have the same haircut as a king

[00:45:10] Charles Spaniel and I have a body count of 600

[00:45:23] those girls are out there doing the Lord's work honestly no I disagree I mean if

[00:45:31] you just fuck them if you yeah you know that's all they're good for if you kind

[00:45:37] of according to me I have so many scars on my body I look like I sleep in a draw

[00:45:42] of full of loose knives

[00:45:46] you're cutting it was always girls too right yeah guys never cut the guys that

[00:45:52] cutter fuck it their cut you're off the team so true yeah I remember my yeah don't

[00:46:00] say that yeah that's a good second boyfriend that's a good thing to announce

[00:46:04] on the podcast that's how you know we're having a good time take a take a

[00:46:07] screen chapter take a pin take a pin so yeah I got a reminder it's gonna be in

[00:46:16] like two weeks that's true yeah you do have to remind me you absolutely pass you

[00:46:21] have been the past you gotta remind me too about that the Felix episode to

[00:46:26] okay yeah about China upload yeah yeah oh well hey

[00:46:30] Raiden it's me good to see you oh Raiden yeah it's good to see you again I

[00:46:37] haven't thought about you since the last time I was in my ancestral home of

[00:46:41] China

[00:46:47] oh fuck man shit man I'm hungry bro I had a fucking salad girl you doing a little

[00:46:55] show after this I am doing a little show maybe I'll roll with come on through

[00:46:58] yeah yeah I'm hosting it so I'm gonna be fucking busy all who's it yeah I can

[00:47:02] always take a lift back yeah I would say Union Hall I might get a little taco

[00:47:06] they got a nice taco truck right by there who taco chucko

[00:47:10] yeah taco truck that takes credit cards pretty nice pretty nice and they got

[00:47:16] indoor bocce I just want someone to piss on my face before I go home before I go

[00:47:24] back to New Jersey thanks giving with my parents who are psychologists everything

[00:47:31] for me I have never had a job academic parents could be nothing more than

[00:47:37] loving to me and I still wound up like the bitch from traffic except even worse

[00:47:43] because I've read enough to know better I am technically very smart

[00:47:50] fuck dude god damn we're recording this in the past it is the past a little bit

[00:48:01] but I just want to say publicly fuck Elizabeth Warren that's right yeah

[00:48:05] rataata that I fuck her for lying on my bitch on Bernie like how dare you how

[00:48:10] funny to be if like before this comes out it like it turns out that Elizabeth

[00:48:14] Warren was raped by Bernie Sanders that would be where someone assassinated

[00:48:18] in the next week dead derides like Bernie's like I don't care I felt good and I

[00:48:23] would do it again if I fought I wanted to and then Adams on record saying fuck

[00:48:28] Elizabeth Warren that would be awesome and probably is gonna have another

[00:48:31] saying it's misogynistic to call her a snake I know it's so stupid yeah they're

[00:48:36] like oh never mind so many was like never mind the biblical implications it's

[00:48:39] like shot the fuck up you talking about the snake wasn't a woman in the story

[00:48:44] yeah in fact it had legs at the time and the legs got taken away from being sneaky

[00:48:48] yeah really yeah for lying but I thought that was just the snake was Satan it is

[00:48:54] but why did he have legs what he lost his legs after God's God punished God

[00:49:00] smoked the serpent and made it crawl around on its belly for all eternity

[00:49:04] wait what's the fuck what I thought I was the devil shape shifting what is he

[00:49:10] punishing I don't think that's true I don't think so what the every snake is

[00:49:14] the devil oh it's just sneaky I mean maybe it was the first of all it's an

[00:49:20] allegory yeah so what do you put no I think what do you punishing the

[00:49:25] because he made the busy the apple the snake was like God was like look don't

[00:49:28] fucking eat my lunch just don't do it yep and then and by the way I'm hearing a

[00:49:35] lot of reports that it was actually a fig from not an apple from who I've read

[00:49:41] maybe some from the people that were there I'm read something on the internet

[00:49:45] about it I don't think it I was being I was lying about reports I was being

[00:49:49] stopped stops homepage is something that looks like drudge report but it's just

[00:49:53] a list of like what celebrities have fucked what celebrities and the size of

[00:49:56] their genitals I would love that if that was a real website I would love that

[00:50:01] yeah no but you always do that shit you're like apparently Lauren Bacall had

[00:50:04] upside-down uterus and it's like well how do you know that I don't know who

[00:50:08] that is you choose a piece of ass man yeah really yeah Lauren Bacall yeah I

[00:50:13] watched you're doing that it's constantly I watched the big yeah I agree

[00:50:17] with that yeah Buster Keaton was uncircumcised I hope he was I hope he

[00:50:21] was on the team so how do you have that information oh Lauren Bacall yes I

[00:50:25] could use incredible yeah watch watch some of her own I got in trouble once

[00:50:30] from a girlfriend for saying that she was attractive and then the girlfriend

[00:50:34] said why don't you go fuck her and I said well because she's dead yeah I would

[00:50:38] otherwise but I would fuck her she's got a nice pair and she had some perfect

[00:50:43] and her face are hanging nice and her mouth was very attractive to me he tried

[00:50:48] to bust and Lauren Bacall's mouth I'm trying to bust anywhere around her and

[00:50:52] maybe she's alive I don't know she's looking as an old lady she was yeah I was

[00:50:57] watching a movie from 1950 something I was not damn dude they never

[00:51:04] shit what was the first time you could see titties in the movies back in the

[00:51:07] third and the pre-code era every movie was like full you can see the penis

[00:51:11] going into the giant everything one well yeah it was like yeah with Charlie

[00:51:17] Chaplin did looking back again pegged you can well just during the jazz era you

[00:51:22] know a lot fewer inhibitions Charlie Charlie Cheeks clapping Charlie

[00:51:26] cheese clapping mm-hmm I'm gonna start going by Charlie Cheeks that's a good

[00:51:31] name to yeah you know what you can pull remember that you had you had rings in

[00:51:35] a chain for a week I still got a chain right now yeah but you're not wearing

[00:51:39] the ring you're wearing your Savi chain I love that chance thank you on you the

[00:51:43] ring I just I always lose damn it's somewhere my house right now gets stuck

[00:51:47] in vending machines it's stuck in the toilet it's covered in Nutella right now

[00:51:52] I'm trying I'm a googling Nutella has gold hand constantly be searching through

[00:51:57] his feet feel matter for the ring again no I don't eat the ring why would I think

[00:52:01] it's food just start shaving lines in my eyebrows yeah that's a good look for

[00:52:05] you actually yeah maybe also shaving the beard potentially no all right the ring

[00:52:10] the rings when I find that ring is coming back yeah I saw a pic shave if I

[00:52:14] shave my my the beard I'm leaving the goatee long the go well not long worse

[00:52:19] look no that is the easily the worst yeah the middle reliever look the like yeah

[00:52:24] yeah like a guy coming into like fucking offspring it's hot coffee

[00:52:30] you know the guy like that like I a guy that works it like NTB yep what's that

[00:52:35] national tire and battery it used to be tire and battery but they had to change

[00:52:40] the name because it was racist not even leaving yourself away out no it was

[00:52:49] racist yeah I thought I thought will be funny to dismiss it but then I thought

[00:52:56] what if we go the inversion it's like a chord inversion you know and saying you

[00:53:00] play like a c7 but then you play a c7 fifth inversion oh wow it's a music

[00:53:05] theory no I have no idea what I'm saying I don't know what any I don't know any

[00:53:08] of that I just play I just play the notes it's it's syncopated it's it's more of a

[00:53:13] syncopated yeah yep approach this it's up this does it's on the scale mm-hmm you

[00:53:18] play up and down that you let they take it for a walk yeah and then you fucking

[00:53:23] you're not I'd take for walkers Lauren Bekal yeah somebody who's telling me

[00:53:30] their dad had a podcast what the other day let's plug it which is so funny to

[00:53:35] imagine like you got a dad and they're just like you're trying to have respect

[00:53:38] for your father and he's like hanging out with his AA buddy's being like yeah

[00:53:42] well maybe you suck my dick well they won't be we won't have families me and

[00:53:50] stop are gonna die of heart disease and you'll be fucking I don't know what you're

[00:53:53] gonna do oh like a cockroach I always yeah but it'll be like a scale be like a

[00:53:58] more pathetic version whatever Zach Raff is doing yeah my son that's sure you

[00:54:02] won't have a disrespectful you won't you won't have a family my daughter will be

[00:54:06] a you'll be trying you'll be in your you will have a daughter that's who are for

[00:54:09] sure for the classic dad of a girl that she's gonna be acting out sexually and

[00:54:14] he's smart you're that you're like smiling at the guy no like you're like

[00:54:17] hinting that he's gonna fuck your daughter I know I know he's quite a stud

[00:54:21] I just I think you guys are a little young you're in your 11 years old have

[00:54:28] fun gang leave me up a back to condoms out my dad did something so embarrassing to

[00:54:33] my sister she was having a sleepover like senior year junior high school and

[00:54:37] they were like my parents like you could drink but like you can't drive or

[00:54:41] something so they were doing shots and stuff and my dad came out

[00:54:47] my parents were boxers my parents are upstairs apparently my dad oh it was so

[00:54:51] embarrassing my dad is cock I wasn't there I wasn't there just guy clearly I

[00:54:54] know shut up no stop it no no he came down he came downstairs and they're

[00:55:00] modeling he had his hands behind his back and he's like I don't believe you guys

[00:55:04] are actually doing that I want to see you do one and my sister was like it was

[00:55:07] the single most embarrassing do what what he's like I don't believe you guys are

[00:55:11] drinking alcohol they were like please leave us alone this is so embarrassing

[00:55:16] like he was like it's his hands behind his back like it's like a half smile what

[00:55:21] oh my god well I never like oh I can't believe you guys are drinking alcohol

[00:55:27] oh my god and he's like zip I'm gonna be that he's like zip no stop he's a good

[00:55:35] man he's done a lot for his family zip he taught me a lot of important lessons

[00:55:39] yeah I was making a couple mistakes along the way oh yeah you can say that again

[00:55:46] damn that's gonna be awesome when you have a whore daughter oh I can't wait I

[00:55:50] can't wait to have a whore daughter and a equally Horish gay son they're

[00:55:56] competing for who gets busted inside of the most yeah it's gonna be like that

[00:56:00] dice joke about the Kardashians where he has to constantly listen to them having

[00:56:05] sex with black the motherfucking dice man yeah dude that was I got to say seeing

[00:56:16] him at the Santa couple weeks ago exhilarated yeah if you see that little

[00:56:20] room there they do the meet and greets no he has his own room in the basement

[00:56:24] where they do like Andrew that's going well for real yeah oh that little fucking

[00:56:29] room that they swear is gonna become a green room at some point they bring

[00:56:33] people in there that has like paint cans and shit in it yeah I hope they walk

[00:56:38] through the kitchen I hope that costs extra it absolutely to do the dice

[00:56:43] experience oh it won a hundred hundred bucks on your ticket I guarantee that

[00:56:47] I should I'm gonna start paying for it just sit there silent yeah they can't

[00:56:53] deny me no even on banned from the club I'm banned from the club for doing

[00:56:59] anti-fascist

[00:57:04] the stand is big that out right fascist just

[00:57:10] place they said I banned for being anti-fascist because of my anti-fat my

[00:57:16] strong commitment to the revolutionary guard of bicycle guys we're gonna solve

[00:57:24] this world by by bicycling and milkshaking and milkshaking my milkshake

[00:57:31] brings out the boys yeah like yeah doing a piss of my heart yeah that's good I am

[00:57:37] like I had a good moment I was like fucking eight when that song came out I

[00:57:41] had a good one about retards and milkshakes it was flawless yeah I'm a

[00:57:46] fucking retard I can't I wish I could remember what it was so came in yeah

[00:57:50] that's what makes it beautiful dude you enjoyed it while it was around my milkshake

[00:57:54] brings all that not it wasn't as simple as the tards of the yard but it used

[00:57:58] retard and collecting course and somehow it was like you know very again an

[00:58:03] inversion sort of like a c7 c7 to the GF my to the money and you I'll put it up

[00:58:09] and I do yeah right we're going we're gonna do a half change the key and sort

[00:58:13] of like key sort of a staccato nuance you have sort of a more of a nuance

[00:58:18] almost yeah vibrato yeah for instance yeah for instance perhaps whistle tones

[00:58:24] yes very much with the go with who something to take into consideration

[00:58:29] yeah I can see a considered element of a G flat minor version to my music theory

[00:58:39] guys suck is it the most they could be describing a song that I love and it is

[00:58:43] most boring thing in the world to listen to absolutely yeah we're like you know

[00:58:47] why this is actually good and it's like oh because it sounds good they're like

[00:58:50] no because it's actually I know music theory it's like motherfucker just

[00:58:54] play music just play the right just shut the fuck up

[00:58:58] don't pretend you have to go to school for this shit just fucking I want to

[00:59:03] hear some guy play guitar if it sounds good it'll be good right I don't want

[00:59:06] to fucking hear you talk it is funny too for like American like contemporary

[00:59:10] music I guess in the middle part of the last century it's like you could either

[00:59:14] be a white guy who had to get a PhD in fucking like guitar yeah to be good

[00:59:21] at it or just any black guy ever just a black guy that had access to a guitar

[00:59:30] right yeah or the base you mean like that guy in the Asian documentary yeah

[00:59:36] unbelievable Adam had a crush on that guy that guy is pretty cool I'm just

[00:59:41] thinking about him right now what's Asia it's another country well Asia Asia

[00:59:47] is ASA the Steely Dan record but Asia is another band and that's super good

[00:59:55] same as I don't know I think someone once said any band named after a

[01:00:01] geographical place sucks and I think that might be true although the band

[01:00:05] Japan is pretty cool Kansas kind of sucks which Kansas oh Dustin the wind

[01:00:11] yeah Boston kind of stuff has a couple bangers more than a feeling I don't

[01:00:16] more than a penis I sucked it and it came in my

[01:00:22] Africa Africa I would never I would never talk any shit on that's a

[01:00:27] total song I don't know that's okay yeah I don't think it's a band called

[01:00:33] Africa that that song whatever you're gonna do I won't do my job okay do your

[01:00:44] job do your job while hurting the most go back to work the only thing I have is

[01:00:48] the work okay so do the work I know how much video games suck now all I want to

[01:00:53] do is find a roundabout way

[01:00:57] there you go buddy Wow Nick you're saying all those that is that is a song by

[01:01:04] Africa yeah it's a pretty good one

[01:01:12] what are the lyrics to Africa by tote

[01:01:15] no

[01:01:22] not quite

[01:01:24] yeah

[01:01:25] yeah

[01:01:26] it's da da da da da da da da

[01:01:29] oh yeah that part of your tree

[01:01:34] yeah yeah it's a joke is that it's all racial yes I found out that the guy

[01:01:38] from the guy from Toto did Michael Jackson's human nature he was well dead

[01:01:44] that's great it starts within earthquake and airplanes Lenny Bruce's I have

[01:01:54] self-churn sorry I'm into the world yeah as you know it you could have done

[01:02:00] that for we didn't start the fire yeah yeah we didn't start the fire it was

[01:02:08] just a bunch of fun beautiful Billy Joel we brought it go back go see Billy

[01:02:20] Joel to garden that's what we want to plug actually don't go and the ticket

[01:02:23] prizes will go down and then we write don't go so we can go yeah but if you're

[01:02:27] listening to you corner dude see come see me this week coming up in Milwaukee

[01:02:35] Appleton Chicago and then the comedy connection Rhode Island damn I got a

[01:02:39] son from I'm into Lincoln Lodge on like March 28th or something nice maybe

[01:02:44] you know maybe two days I can't remember probably two days I'm there to

[01:02:47] probably I'll be dead but it'll be a lot I'll be alive but I'll be dead yeah

[01:02:52] that's true I'm not fighting you there that's not gonna change I'm gonna be in

[01:02:56] Dallas I'm gonna be in DC Tucson and Phoenix and then Dublin and London and

[01:03:03] we also will be in Australia at some point yeah so look stop it that biz for my

[01:03:09] shit and then we'll announce Australia soon alright later bye pussies