[00:00:00] I was getting fucking castrato pussy.

[00:00:02] Yeah.

[00:00:02] You're listening to the Steely Dan podcast.

[00:00:05] I am gay, my dick is small.

[00:00:09] This should be just transition to making this

[00:00:12] a Steely Dan podcast.

[00:00:13] Yup.

[00:00:14] I only know that one song that's like,

[00:00:16] mama's all right.

[00:00:17] How about a dance?

[00:00:18] That's not stupid.

[00:00:19] Yeah, no, I think.

[00:00:20] Adam doesn't know that.

[00:00:21] That's a cheap trick.

[00:00:22] That's cheap trick.

[00:00:24] I thought we've been talking about cheap trick

[00:00:25] this whole time.

[00:00:26] Yeah.

[00:00:27] All right, well, you know.

[00:00:28] That's why I was so confused about cheap trick

[00:00:31] is like a hot guy.

[00:00:32] I am a nerd.

[00:00:33] When you said, when you said Steely,

[00:00:35] I was only two guys.

[00:00:36] That's why I was confused.

[00:00:37] Because I knew there was a bald guy and the hot guy.

[00:00:39] My favorite.

[00:00:40] Wow.

[00:00:41] The best Steely Dan song is, hey, hey, we're the monkeys.

[00:00:43] That's right.

[00:00:44] People say we monkey around.

[00:00:45] Yeah.

[00:00:46] And then the second verse is, hey, hey, we're Steely Dan.

[00:00:50] People say we Steely pussy.

[00:00:52] Yeah.

[00:00:53] People say we love Steely.

[00:00:54] Damn.

[00:00:55] Does that mean rape?

[00:00:56] Steely pussy.

[00:00:56] No.

[00:00:57] Yeah.

[00:00:58] It does.

[00:00:59] It's a rape reference.

[00:01:00] Because taking the pussy in the African American community

[00:01:03] means rape.

[00:01:05] So stealing the, like that, that was a note that went out

[00:01:08] to Warren Surgis.

[00:01:11] In case you guys forget taking the pussy to our African

[00:01:17] supporters, it means rape.

[00:01:23] Before we got on, we were talking about how castrados were

[00:01:26] getting a lot of pussy.

[00:01:27] Yeah.

[00:01:28] Nick said this.

[00:01:29] Oh, by the way, Felix is shut up.

[00:01:30] I am.

[00:01:31] How I feel it.

[00:01:32] What's up, Felix?

[00:01:33] Hey, boys.

[00:01:34] Now, did it feel good to get their little dick sucked?

[00:01:36] How about, how does this feel?

[00:01:37] No, there was just mine.

[00:01:39] Yes.

[00:01:40] Yes.

[00:01:41] Yes.

[00:01:42] Yeah.

[00:01:43] So this is a new era.

[00:01:44] No, we need, no, we need to get some shit like that.

[00:01:47] You do need some shit like this.

[00:01:49] If we don't have that, what the fuck are people paying for?

[00:01:51] Let's see Warren Menaker make that noise.

[00:01:53] Yeah.

[00:01:54] Fuck an idiot.

[00:01:55] Let's see famous, famous sound effect comedian.

[00:01:57] The Michael Winslow of the Laughs.

[00:02:00] Well, that is how me, Will and Matt met.

[00:02:05] We were on the sound effect comedy circuit in Brooklyn, New York.

[00:02:09] Well, Matt was going to pick up his handicap medicine for being handicapped.

[00:02:13] Yep.

[00:02:14] And Will Manaker was outside blocking the entrance to the handicap center.

[00:02:17] He was protesting.

[00:02:18] He was preventing handicap people from getting their medicine.

[00:02:21] Yeah.

[00:02:22] He was throwing thumbtacks on the wheelchair rim.

[00:02:24] He was, yeah.

[00:02:25] And he was, Will Manaker was heard saying this should be another built, this handicap

[00:02:31] pharmacy should be another building owned by the New Yorker, which is the company that's

[00:02:35] been in my family for thousands of years.

[00:02:38] And so Will was, Will was gone like, yeah, pretend to be an ambulance and thought he

[00:02:46] was speaking Chinese.

[00:02:47] Yeah.

[00:02:48] He's like, oh, my language.

[00:02:51] I've said this.

[00:02:52] Oh, you're speaking my, uh, and they don't know.

[00:02:55] He's a native language.

[00:02:56] So he, he recognized, he knows Chinese is his language, but he thinks a white person doing

[00:03:03] an ambulance noise is Chinese to be clear about this scenario to be clear.

[00:03:09] He's from.

[00:03:10] Okay.

[00:03:11] Yeah.

[00:03:12] No, I'm from, uh, he's going to try not to ask you to take all of that shit out.

[00:03:19] Oh, not because of the Chinese thing, but like his name and his origin.

[00:03:24] Yeah.

[00:03:25] We'll beep it.

[00:03:26] We'll beep it.

[00:03:27] Yeah.

[00:03:28] Yeah.

[00:03:29] Yeah.

[00:03:30] Yeah.

[00:03:31] Yeah.

[00:03:32] Yeah.

[00:03:33] Yeah.

[00:03:34] Yeah.

[00:03:35] Yeah.

[00:03:36] He'll get mad at Felix.

[00:03:37] We'll bleep his Chinese name, which we just won't say his name.

[00:03:40] I know.

[00:03:41] Okay.

[00:03:42] Fine.

[00:03:43] That's good.

[00:03:44] Well, now I got to do now.

[00:03:45] I remember and the other text you.

[00:03:48] How many times are you going to say it?

[00:03:50] Yeah.

[00:03:51] You fucking asked.

[00:03:52] This is funny.

[00:03:53] You're creating more work for me.

[00:03:57] Yeah, which is funny.

[00:03:59] No, it's not hard time.

[00:04:02] I can't handle work.

[00:04:03] You need work.

[00:04:04] You love work.

[00:04:05] Not stupid tasks.

[00:04:06] Not menial work.

[00:04:07] You love media work.

[00:04:08] I like you clean your fucking house every week.

[00:04:10] I like the work of doing impressions of people.

[00:04:12] That's true.

[00:04:13] That kind of work.

[00:04:14] Okay.

[00:04:15] Cultural work.

[00:04:16] Ah, please don't say my Chinese name.

[00:04:18] Oh, yeah.

[00:04:20] My traditional Chinese name.

[00:04:26] Where was Amber in the vlogging ladies?

[00:04:31] Yeah, we're checking out her pussy.

[00:04:33] In the mirror.

[00:04:34] You're looking at her pussy in the mirror.

[00:04:36] Yeah, like girls do.

[00:04:38] That's the story of Chappell.

[00:04:39] That's how Chappell met.

[00:04:40] It was all on the Brooklyn sound effect comedy.

[00:04:43] That's right.

[00:04:44] All that happened there.

[00:04:45] And it naturally just teaching feel experience.

[00:04:48] That is made of my Luke.

[00:04:49] You said it's not.

[00:04:50] All right, let's put it this way.

[00:04:52] In the fucking, because I've known him longer than I've known you.

[00:04:55] Yeah, yeah.

[00:04:56] I've known him longer than anybody.

[00:04:57] And in the 10 years I've known him, I have never once called him Virgil.

[00:05:01] Yeah.

[00:05:02] Yeah.

[00:05:03] Well, I don't give a fuck at all, honestly, either way.

[00:05:07] Yeah.

[00:05:08] I mean, I'll please suck my dick.

[00:05:09] I'm, you know, with Chappell, please.

[00:05:12] Where?

[00:05:19] I guess he's using the chopsticks to jerk my dick.

[00:05:22] Because if he used his hand, would he breach the end of your penis before?

[00:05:26] No, that's not why.

[00:05:28] Yes.

[00:05:29] It's because it's not gay if you're using chopsticks.

[00:05:31] No, it would be completely.

[00:05:32] Your hand is a game but your mouth is gay.

[00:05:35] No, it wouldn't.

[00:05:36] All right.

[00:05:37] There's a clear mathematics to it, where if you want to stay most.

[00:05:41] I would love it if Will actually could do sound effects.

[00:05:43] And that would be awesome.

[00:05:45] 20 minutes of Chappell was all right.

[00:05:47] Okay, well, I'll get into some sound effects.

[00:05:49] Yeah.

[00:05:50] Just give it a break.

[00:05:52] Yeah, Will.

[00:05:53] Will, like, yeah, doing the thing where he stretches out his shoulders.

[00:05:59] And he's like, all right, like, if we need to fill time, I just fucking immediately goes

[00:06:04] into it.

[00:06:05] He's lawn mower.

[00:06:06] But he's like, he has the ability to do different lawn mowers.

[00:06:10] You know, for the community, of course, for the community.

[00:06:14] Doing different elevator noises.

[00:06:16] Yeah.

[00:06:17] It's, I saw a comment on Michael McDonald video where a guy was like, actually grew up with

[00:06:22] him.

[00:06:23] I could say his dad owned a bar in Florissant.

[00:06:26] And I could say I had more than a couple of beers with Mike.

[00:06:31] Crazy out things change.

[00:06:32] That's it.

[00:06:33] And it's like what you thought you were going to be.

[00:06:35] Yeah.

[00:06:36] He has beers sometimes.

[00:06:37] Everyone has beers where they grew up.

[00:06:40] And with the voice of God.

[00:06:42] Right.

[00:06:43] Thinking that you were going to be him.

[00:06:45] Like, where to go wrong for me?

[00:06:47] Yeah.

[00:06:48] Bill Pressman of St. Louis, Missouri.

[00:06:50] Is that where McDonald's from?

[00:06:52] Yeah.

[00:06:53] He's from Ferguson.

[00:06:54] Whoa.

[00:06:55] Wow.

[00:06:56] Now we're bringing it all.

[00:06:57] Hands up, don't shoot.

[00:06:58] I'm fucking mad, huh?

[00:06:59] Yeah.

[00:07:00] Take off.

[00:07:01] And when my hands are up, don't shoot.

[00:07:02] I feel like there's like, there's like two.

[00:07:03] I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

[00:07:04] I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm

[00:07:05] like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm running after

[00:07:12] again.

[00:07:13] Yeah.

[00:07:14] And you're running after your ten-year ago, you're out and like.

[00:07:19] I'm running just now.

[00:07:24] Yeah.

[00:07:25] You went off to one one and then I'm like, I'm like, I'm going to a

[00:07:22] confidence counter for yours.

[00:07:24] Mr.

[00:07:25] I was just like 10.

[00:07:28] He said the Yogeta's half time.

[00:07:29] And they actually got another team that like, I'm like, yeah.

[00:07:34] have a great morning from Denmark.

[00:07:35] Yeah.

[00:07:36] Thanks, man.

[00:07:37] Sending, putting their name at the end.

[00:07:39] Yeah, signing every comment.

[00:07:42] That shit rocks.

[00:07:42] My mom just watches full Greek TV shows.

[00:07:46] Michael McDonald's video is a good,

[00:07:47] because you get a nice mix of just old people.

[00:07:50] And then middle-aged black women killing time

[00:07:54] on their lunch break in the HR department,

[00:07:56] being like, he is so period fine.

[00:07:59] That's amazing.

[00:08:04] You have got to love him.

[00:08:07] The man has ranged, dude.

[00:08:09] The man has reached.

[00:08:10] I wonder what the spread, the demographic spread

[00:08:13] on how on the kinds of pussy Michael McDonald's has gotten.

[00:08:16] Yeah.

[00:08:16] What that would look like.

[00:08:17] I think he's trad.

[00:08:18] He's been married for like 40 years.

[00:08:20] What?

[00:08:22] Yeah.

[00:08:22] He didn't get pussy.

[00:08:23] Yeah, yeah.

[00:08:24] Maybe it's just a romantic.

[00:08:26] That's where the voice comes from.

[00:08:27] Oh, place of love.

[00:08:28] What if he made a trade-off?

[00:08:30] It was like, you have the best voice in the world,

[00:08:32] but you get no pussy whatsoever.

[00:08:34] I think he made that deal.

[00:08:35] Yeah, I would take it.

[00:08:36] I would take it too.

[00:08:37] Opposite of a policy in market.

[00:08:38] I don't think I could.

[00:08:39] No pussy ever.

[00:08:40] You just get pussy from your loving wife.

[00:08:42] All of my problems would be instantly solved if I could sing.

[00:08:45] If I could sing.

[00:08:46] But you couldn't get pussy.

[00:08:47] What's the point of getting of?

[00:08:49] He's not guaranteeing your in love.

[00:08:50] You sit around and make your own music.

[00:08:52] The sing that sit here and just fucking do it.

[00:08:54] The point is sharing your talent with the world.

[00:08:56] You know how cruel it is that I can do impressions,

[00:08:58] but I can't sing.

[00:08:59] It is cruel.

[00:09:00] I get that.

[00:09:01] I can just do Don Draper selling.

[00:09:03] I just look at things and sell them.

[00:09:05] That doesn't do anything for your heart.

[00:09:07] That's true.

[00:09:09] Damn, I don't know if I could do.

[00:09:10] Because the point of being good at anything

[00:09:11] is to eventually get pussy from it.

[00:09:13] Yeah.

[00:09:14] That's it.

[00:09:15] If we really boil it down to his essence, no.

[00:09:17] No, no, for me.

[00:09:18] Yes, it is.

[00:09:19] That's why money was invented.

[00:09:21] The whole point of getting pussy is

[00:09:22] not why money was invented.

[00:09:24] Yes, it was.

[00:09:25] To have a child, I guess.

[00:09:28] It's like some biological impulse,

[00:09:31] but also it's like you want the status

[00:09:32] of having gotten a lot of it, and then you

[00:09:34] get to feel like your life is more than it is.

[00:09:37] No, it's cool to get the act of the people.

[00:09:39] No, it's just a fucking like, it's

[00:09:41] like a improperly sublimated fucking libidinal impulse.

[00:09:46] I think that's what is libidinal mean?

[00:09:49] I mean libido?

[00:09:50] Right, yeah.

[00:09:51] It's like it's sourced in your itch,

[00:09:53] and it's not why is it sublimated?

[00:09:56] And why is it a proper?

[00:09:57] It needs to be sublimated because you should

[00:09:59] take your horniness.

[00:10:00] And you know what it is?

[00:10:01] You're right.

[00:10:01] I mean, a lot of yes, in a roundabout way,

[00:10:04] are kind of like quite exactly, yes, everything

[00:10:07] is in the service of getting pussy.

[00:10:08] Thank you.

[00:10:09] But not so overtly.

[00:10:10] It's like maybe on some level, like

[00:10:12] libidinal wants to be good at singing to get pussy,

[00:10:14] but then the satisfaction of being good at singing

[00:10:16] itself is enough.

[00:10:18] It's not.

[00:10:18] Well, I mean, OK, you know the way that Trump talks about,

[00:10:22] like, getting pussy.

[00:10:23] Sure.

[00:10:24] And it's like, it's very, like, removed.

[00:10:25] Like a boss.

[00:10:26] Yeah, exactly.

[00:10:28] Like it's fucking cool.

[00:10:29] Like, getting way too much pussy.

[00:10:33] Exactly.

[00:10:34] Like a freaking boss.

[00:10:39] But you know, like, you can't see like a boss.

[00:10:41] Absolutely.

[00:10:42] Dude, his, he's in every fucking ad campaign

[00:10:46] for the rest of, until the election,

[00:10:48] should just be like fat 12-year-old wiggers.

[00:10:51] Yeah.

[00:10:53] Talking about how cool they kid that I'm a fuck with you.

[00:10:56] I'm a fuck with you.

[00:10:57] He be getting mad.

[00:10:58] I love him so much.

[00:11:00] Show, escap.

[00:11:01] Trump be back in the trap, get mad pussy.

[00:11:05] Trump, I'm a fuck with you.

[00:11:09] Yeah.

[00:11:09] Where is little escap silence is fucking deafening, dude.

[00:11:13] That motherfucker needs to endorse fucking Warren.

[00:11:15] Young King Dave would have been a hard game.

[00:11:17] Yes, dude.

[00:11:18] Oh my god.

[00:11:18] Through about popcorn.

[00:11:19] Too soon.

[00:11:20] Popcorn's popcorn might be getting paroled.

[00:11:23] I'll follow up on that later.

[00:11:24] Adam writes some letters in prison.

[00:11:26] I wrote some letters to the governor.

[00:11:30] Try and get a shit commute.

[00:11:31] I said, listen, I need more Instagram posts

[00:11:33] from this guy to make fun of in New York City on podcast.

[00:11:38] You'd be a job creator.

[00:11:39] You'd be creating Patreon content for us, sir.

[00:11:41] Yes.

[00:11:42] Please commute popcorn sentence for trying to sell

[00:11:45] his baby mother's EBT cards.

[00:11:47] That's what I'm assuming he's a joke for.

[00:11:49] I'm not going to quote it, but his boss.

[00:11:52] For months prior to that, he's like, I'm

[00:11:54] finna go to jail.

[00:11:56] Well, I DM'd him.

[00:11:57] I'm finna go to jail.

[00:11:58] I'm trying to do gang shit.

[00:12:01] And then he did.

[00:12:03] I thought I was kidding.

[00:12:04] And then I DM'd him.

[00:12:05] I'm like, popcorn, are you really going to jail?

[00:12:07] And he was like, yeah, I was doing a B&E.

[00:12:09] And then my friend had a gun.

[00:12:10] So we had to steal a car.

[00:12:12] And then we got it at a high speed prison.

[00:12:15] We literally talked about this four years ago.

[00:12:17] Yeah.

[00:12:17] He should be up by now.

[00:12:19] He was like, seven people.

[00:12:20] He went in.

[00:12:21] That's not that bad of a thing, too.

[00:12:22] I know it's like seven crimes.

[00:12:23] Especially considering that there was probably

[00:12:25] no consideration of like a reason to do the B&E

[00:12:28] other than to get arrested.

[00:12:29] Yeah.

[00:12:30] He needed to get arrested.

[00:12:31] He needed to get arrested for the cloud.

[00:12:33] They should just, they should just, then he gets out

[00:12:35] and he's like, what the fuck is socialism?

[00:12:37] I thought all you had to do was gang shit.

[00:12:42] Now you got to know who Karl Marx is.

[00:12:45] Yep.

[00:12:46] Is his spell with three X's?

[00:12:47] That would be cool.

[00:12:48] And Bubba Sparks.

[00:12:49] Yeah.

[00:12:50] Bubba Sparks, Karl Marx.

[00:12:52] I found you Miss New Booty.

[00:12:57] You got, you have got to love him.

[00:13:00] They love Michael McDonald and Bubba Sparks.

[00:13:02] Bubba Sparks.

[00:13:03] A classic.

[00:13:04] What if Miss New Booty was about Miss New Booty giving up pussy to everyone in the

[00:13:09] neighborhood?

[00:13:10] That's what it's about.

[00:13:11] And that's social.

[00:13:12] I looked it up on genius.

[00:13:13] You're doling out pussy.

[00:13:14] That's bubble, bubble marks.

[00:13:17] Bubba Sparks, Miss New Booty has to give everyone pussy, has to read this tribute to

[00:13:20] pussy.

[00:13:21] How about Bubba Gump Marks?

[00:13:22] Bubba Gump Marks.

[00:13:23] Oh, that's nice, dude.

[00:13:24] That's the mashup we've all been waiting for.

[00:13:26] A trip, a three-way mashup.

[00:13:28] Love is like a buck.

[00:13:30] I don't know.

[00:13:31] What is his character's name?

[00:13:32] Is he also retarded?

[00:13:33] Yeah.

[00:13:34] He's supposed to be slow.

[00:13:35] I'm a guy.

[00:13:36] He's supposed to be a guy.

[00:13:37] Oh, wait.

[00:13:38] Bubba Gump is a guy, not just a restaurant.

[00:13:39] Bubba.

[00:13:40] No, yeah.

[00:13:41] From Bob, Forrest Gump.

[00:13:42] From Forrest Gump.

[00:13:43] Bubba is his friend from Vietnam.

[00:13:44] The restaurant is named after the Forrest Gump character.

[00:13:46] Yeah, wait.

[00:13:47] Bubba's name is also Gump.

[00:13:49] No, it's supposed to be their company that they start after the war.

[00:13:53] It's the Forrest Gump.

[00:13:54] You haven't seen Forrest Gump.

[00:13:55] Oh, my fucking y'all.

[00:13:57] I watched a couple of minutes of it on TV and it looked fucking horrible.

[00:14:01] There are a couple of retards that go to Vietnam and they come up with good ideas.

[00:14:04] McDonald's is the same thing.

[00:14:06] That's true.

[00:14:07] That's from fucking I am boring, dude.

[00:14:09] Bubba, fucking Forrest Gump looks stupid.

[00:14:11] Panera Bread is actually invented by the movie I Am Sam.

[00:14:15] A lot of people don't know that.

[00:14:17] Oh, yes.

[00:14:18] That's the restaurant he works at and he becomes a manager, which is actually Starbucks, which

[00:14:23] is very funny.

[00:14:24] That is so gross.

[00:14:25] That did product placement for Starbucks and Starbucks and Starbucks is listening.

[00:14:27] Listen, how much would it cost to get the retard working in our...

[00:14:31] Get retarded Sean Penn working in our restaurant, our coffee shop in the movie?

[00:14:35] I am Sam.

[00:14:36] He's fucking up drinks.

[00:14:38] I am Sam was like, that was like the last movie of its type, right?

[00:14:43] Yeah.

[00:14:44] Yeah.

[00:14:45] The last of the mother fucking Mohicans.

[00:14:46] This is what they took from us.

[00:14:48] Well, Tropic Thunder literally fucking just broke that entire genre back over its knee.

[00:14:56] Yeah.

[00:14:57] I mean, that fucking never go full retard thing is like Tropic Thunder is one of the best

[00:15:01] movies of all time.

[00:15:03] Yeah.

[00:15:04] I mean, I don't know about that.

[00:15:05] No, it's like a flawless, timeless comedy.

[00:15:07] Dude, Tom Cruise's weird dancing Harvey Weinstein shit is a little too like self-congratulatory

[00:15:14] is a funny thing.

[00:15:15] Oh, like, oh, everyone's been left at its Tom Cruise.

[00:15:18] Like Tom Cruise is a little too proud of himself for doing the funny thing.

[00:15:22] Yeah.

[00:15:23] But, you know, other than that.

[00:15:24] It doesn't really detract from the real problem.

[00:15:26] It's so great.

[00:15:27] It's really good.

[00:15:28] Al Pacino.

[00:15:29] I love Jack Black coming off of heroin.

[00:15:31] Yep.

[00:15:32] That was awesome.

[00:15:33] That was, he'll suck the dick, play with the ball.

[00:15:35] Yeah.

[00:15:36] Yeah.

[00:15:37] What's the last Jack Black, is that the last Jack Black heater comedy performance?

[00:15:41] Oh.

[00:15:42] What's he been in?

[00:15:43] He watched that movie, Bernie in Canada.

[00:15:45] That was pretty good.

[00:15:46] But that wasn't a straight comedy.

[00:15:47] It's kind of a dark comedy.

[00:15:48] I didn't watch the whole thing.

[00:15:49] It was that.

[00:15:50] Let me go back to Forrest Gump.

[00:15:51] That gay guy that kills his much older, wealthy wife.

[00:15:54] Right.

[00:15:55] Yeah.

[00:15:56] Right.

[00:15:57] Let me go back to Forrest Gump.

[00:15:58] It is cool the Sally Field sucks, sucks and fucks to get her son in.

[00:16:00] Yeah.

[00:16:01] It was just being a good father.

[00:16:02] She sucks and fucks him too.

[00:16:03] Really?

[00:16:04] He gets sucked about her.

[00:16:06] No, that's fucked up.

[00:16:07] But, Jacking off your special needs son, if he's too ornery, I get that.

[00:16:12] But sucking him.

[00:16:13] How a doctor used to finger a woman for being hysterical.

[00:16:16] Yeah.

[00:16:17] You know?

[00:16:18] Just to calm someone down.

[00:16:19] I've not retarded Michael Mcdonald's.

[00:16:21] All right.

[00:16:22] Michael Ronald McDonald.

[00:16:23] Okay.

[00:16:24] Michael Ronald McDonald's.

[00:16:25] There's something there.

[00:16:26] He's like, I keep forgetting how to time on shoes.

[00:16:31] Why Ronald McDonald's?

[00:16:32] I don't know because it's like McDonald's retarded people like McDonald's.

[00:16:36] I mean, everyone might keep Donald.

[00:16:38] I think it would have to be singing about burgers.

[00:16:43] Yeah.

[00:16:44] What?

[00:16:45] For it to make sense.

[00:16:46] Okay.

[00:16:47] But he's forgetting things.

[00:16:48] He's working at McDonald's.

[00:16:49] That's fine.

[00:16:50] He's working at McDonald's.

[00:16:51] It's a retarded Michael McDonald working at McDonald's as the fry guy.

[00:16:55] Okay.

[00:16:56] And then he's like, maybe I keep forgetting how to, I don't know.

[00:17:02] To put salt on the fries.

[00:17:04] All right.

[00:17:05] I mean, this is going to, this is going to need like, he's forgetting to forget to,

[00:17:07] yeah, it's going to be fully furious.

[00:17:09] Yeah.

[00:17:10] Fully tired.

[00:17:11] The fries concept before it gets like series A investment.

[00:17:16] Yeah.

[00:17:17] This is the kind of ideas my dad has now.

[00:17:21] Listen, yeah, I wanted to talk to you.

[00:17:25] I need $50,000.

[00:17:27] It's Michael McDonald, but he's retarded.

[00:17:30] And I really think this will be good.

[00:17:33] This is going to be my comeback.

[00:17:35] This is going to be my comeback.

[00:17:37] This is what's going to fix everything, Nick.

[00:17:39] I keep forgetting how to pull my pants down to pee.

[00:17:45] Okay.

[00:17:46] That's good.

[00:17:47] Yep.

[00:17:48] I like that one.

[00:17:49] Did you watch any more of those Chinese lady cooking videos?

[00:17:52] Yeah.

[00:17:53] Yeah, I watched a lot of them.

[00:17:54] But I redubbed them with Michael McDonald.

[00:17:56] No, you did.

[00:17:58] That's tight.

[00:17:59] I made them sick.

[00:18:00] These ladies, Lee Zee Key that lives in rural Szechuan province.

[00:18:04] She just cooks for her grandmother.

[00:18:07] She can.

[00:18:08] And the videos are so beautiful.

[00:18:09] Do they look just a food look good?

[00:18:10] It's just like a beautiful depiction of rural China, how simple everyone's lives are.

[00:18:15] And I think I'm in love with her.

[00:18:18] And I think she's hot.

[00:18:19] And she was a DJ in the big city.

[00:18:22] And then her grandfather died.

[00:18:25] So she went back to her small village.

[00:18:27] That's a fucking romantic comedy.

[00:18:29] If I ever heard one.

[00:18:30] And I fly to China.

[00:18:32] You fly to China to stalk China.

[00:18:34] Yeah, I fly to China.

[00:18:36] Well, I think it'll be a great romantic gesture.

[00:18:39] I think it'll be like, oh, well, Adam, I can give you some tips.

[00:18:43] You're going there.

[00:18:45] By the way, Ayyad.

[00:18:47] Who is this guy?

[00:18:48] He's just a guy.

[00:18:49] He's just a three-carat.

[00:18:50] Ayyad, I actually grew up there.

[00:18:55] Damn.

[00:18:56] The western Szechuan province, huh?

[00:18:58] Yeah.

[00:18:59] She lives in?

[00:19:00] Well, he actually grew up.

[00:19:02] Yeah.

[00:19:03] I mean, I think he's a three-carat.

[00:19:04] Yeah.

[00:19:06] Will he actually be mad about that?

[00:19:08] Like, OK, the Chinese thing, probably not.

[00:19:11] But where he grew up.

[00:19:13] Oh, yeah.

[00:19:14] No, we'll be bad for sure.

[00:19:15] But I mean, doing an incredible piece.

[00:19:17] It's like, you know, I've always been friends.

[00:19:19] I don't think I've ever watched like a fuck.

[00:19:22] What's the time?

[00:19:23] More work for yourself.

[00:19:24] This is what I mean.

[00:19:25] It's like I fucking never call him by his screen name.

[00:19:29] Yeah, we call him Kinktuk.

[00:19:31] This is hackers.

[00:19:32] I know.

[00:19:33] Do I need a screen name?

[00:19:35] Everyone knows.

[00:19:36] I've made one.

[00:19:37] Why don't I know why I think this is for is taking a picture of the time stamp.

[00:19:40] You're a genius.

[00:19:41] You're a really smart guy.

[00:19:42] The other ones were all in the first four minutes.

[00:19:45] Yeah.

[00:19:46] So we opened up with it.

[00:19:47] Where everyone knows that his mother's Alexis Texas.

[00:19:51] Right.

[00:19:52] I've said this before.

[00:19:54] His dad is Virgil.

[00:19:55] Virgil.

[00:19:56] The poet Virgil.

[00:19:57] Virgil.

[00:19:58] Oh, that's a very huge age difference.

[00:20:00] Oh, yeah.

[00:20:01] Yeah.

[00:20:02] I've always been friends with him, but I don't think I've ever busted his balls.

[00:20:06] I don't know if we have that kind of relationship.

[00:20:08] I remember once in New Hampshire when we all went.

[00:20:11] I do.

[00:20:12] That's true.

[00:20:13] That's true.

[00:20:14] He's such a legendary.

[00:20:15] I mean, he's like a ridiculous guy.

[00:20:17] He's a ridiculous guy and it's hard to figure out how to like just being insane.

[00:20:22] Okay.

[00:20:23] That's a picture of the pick.

[00:20:31] This is Kenzie and economic.

[00:20:33] The government creating work for itself.

[00:20:35] That's right, dude.

[00:20:36] I think this episode is going to be called Beep Texas.

[00:20:40] Yeah.

[00:20:41] Yeah.

[00:20:42] I mean, it's fucking, but you know, there's no way I haven't said his name on the show.

[00:20:46] You have.

[00:20:47] We all have.

[00:20:48] We've probably had.

[00:20:49] Potentially.

[00:20:50] I mean, but it's Felix.

[00:20:51] Yeah, it's just that's true.

[00:20:52] That's you know what they're going to listen to.

[00:20:54] We don't want to affect their homos.

[00:20:56] We're going to listen to them.

[00:20:59] Yeah.

[00:21:00] This is the one where you finally find out Virgil's.

[00:21:04] That means that we can be friends with.

[00:21:12] Our guys have calmed down.

[00:21:14] No, they're the best.

[00:21:17] The worst fans in the world.

[00:21:19] I mean, I don't know.

[00:21:21] I don't know.

[00:21:22] I mean, the worst of ours are the worst, but the average one of ours is good.

[00:21:26] They had a they had a mass shooter though.

[00:21:28] You did?

[00:21:29] That's cool.

[00:21:30] It was a follower of those.

[00:21:31] I don't know if you post it.

[00:21:32] I don't know if you posted it on the subreddit, which is wow.

[00:21:35] Okay, give you a lot of the.

[00:21:37] We have a lot of those people.

[00:21:39] I mean, it's up for like.

[00:21:42] I bet you we have a lot of people that would be rapists, but they're like, they don't have

[00:21:46] the initiative.

[00:21:47] Yeah.

[00:21:48] Like they want to, but they're losers.

[00:21:49] Well, that's good.

[00:21:50] That guy is good, but I'm saying I think that's the best guy.

[00:21:53] Of course, but that's who we attract.

[00:21:55] That's who's on our subreddit is guys that would rate, but they're they can't, you know,

[00:21:59] yeah, well, like the biggest, the biggest type of freak between like both of us is for

[00:22:06] you guys or for us, like if it were that's the only podcast.

[00:22:11] Should I edit out the thing about the mass shooter to everyone?

[00:22:15] Not as that.

[00:22:16] Like that guy, like, like people tried to like they really tried to sign up that guy

[00:22:21] into being like a leftist mass shooter, but he was just like, so you guys like imbecile

[00:22:25] who brain fried and just fucking.

[00:22:28] Even if like he was the guy that's like going on the subreddit and it's like I'm doing this

[00:22:35] for chap.

[00:22:36] Yeah.

[00:22:37] And then shot up a place.

[00:22:39] It's like that's still not your response.

[00:22:40] It's not like the show is like guys, you need to go shoot up.

[00:22:43] It's like, it's like saying that guy that was trying to impress Jody Foster.

[00:22:47] It's her fault, dude.

[00:22:49] It is her fault.

[00:22:50] Right.

[00:22:51] Right.

[00:22:52] That's different.

[00:22:53] This is rock.

[00:22:54] Don't have the vibe.

[00:22:55] Who's why?

[00:22:56] These are wild, bro.

[00:22:58] Island ass Jody Foster choosing to play a justice.

[00:23:01] A little girl process.

[00:23:04] A child's process.

[00:23:06] Oh, it asks.

[00:23:07] A 12 year old fucking just running her pussy all up and down the block.

[00:23:13] That is true.

[00:23:14] Well, we all know it's getting getting playboys wild wild.

[00:23:18] Wow.

[00:23:19] Wow.

[00:23:20] Now, round up.

[00:23:21] We all know it's morning radio.

[00:23:23] Yeah.

[00:23:24] It's so if you all ask me, Steve Harvey, she should know about him.

[00:23:26] That's all it asks.

[00:23:29] Bring it 12 year old pussy around.

[00:23:34] God, Joe, it would be awesome if Steve just decides to weigh in on that tomorrow.

[00:23:40] By the way, y'all.

[00:23:42] It ain't a man's goddamn fault.

[00:23:44] Tell me.

[00:23:45] Were you guys saying that Steve Harvey has a hot ass daughter?

[00:23:48] Yeah.

[00:23:49] Yeah.

[00:23:50] She's eating puffy's son and then cheated on puffy's son with puffy.

[00:23:54] She's hot, but she's bald and has a lost ass.

[00:23:57] Really?

[00:23:58] Yeah.

[00:23:59] That would be cool.

[00:24:00] Somebody finds his daughter and photoshopped her bald and put the Steve Harvey mustard.

[00:24:03] Bald would be no issue for me, but mustache, I think I would have a problem getting over

[00:24:07] really.

[00:24:08] Yeah.

[00:24:09] Like an amber rose type amber rose no problem.

[00:24:10] Yeah.

[00:24:11] There's a problem for me having a like a B like I don't like that I have it complicates things.

[00:24:17] What do you think?

[00:24:18] I'm not shaving my face.

[00:24:20] Why don't you shave your face?

[00:24:21] You're infinitely better looking that way because people know you need to know that

[00:24:24] I'm wise.

[00:24:25] But you're stupid.

[00:24:26] I'm bad at lying.

[00:24:27] But you're stupid.

[00:24:28] But why?

[00:24:29] I'm handsome.

[00:24:30] They're definitely.

[00:24:31] So just shave your face.

[00:24:32] But it takes wisdom.

[00:24:33] You literally look like you're in flight school in Florida just trying to learn how to take

[00:24:43] off but not really caring about learning how to land.

[00:24:45] You have to leap out Florida again.

[00:24:47] Why?

[00:24:48] It's not like I'm counting on you.

[00:24:50] Not until you said it.

[00:24:52] I do have a.

[00:24:55] No, no, you gave them a clue.

[00:24:57] Oh my.

[00:24:58] No, no, that's a clue.

[00:24:59] Which is weird.

[00:25:00] I mean it was an accident.

[00:25:01] But if you think about what would have wise me?

[00:25:03] A wise.

[00:25:04] Yes.

[00:25:05] Very wise.

[00:25:06] Not annoying.

[00:25:07] Yeah.

[00:25:08] But we all know.

[00:25:09] Oh, hold on a second.

[00:25:10] Someone's at the door.

[00:25:11] I posted a recording.

[00:25:12] I'm not.

[00:25:13] I'm not annoying.

[00:25:14] Yeah.

[00:25:15] Yeah.

[00:25:16] But we all know.

[00:25:17] I posted on your own.

[00:25:23] Oh, God.

[00:25:24] I've been shot to death.

[00:25:26] Very good.

[00:25:28] Please bury me in back in China where I'm from.

[00:25:32] Wow.

[00:25:33] So that is okay.

[00:25:38] So when you were asking like you don't remember like busting his balls.

[00:25:41] Yeah.

[00:25:42] When we went to New Hampshire, the thing I remember and this is like, you know, like that thing

[00:25:46] where you just you remember like, yeah, you forget more significant things that happened,

[00:25:51] but just like one weird thing sticks.

[00:25:52] Yeah.

[00:25:53] Like the tree of life thing.

[00:25:55] This is like my tree of life moment was when we went to like this like weird fucking like

[00:25:59] shitty road.

[00:26:01] Like rural New Hampshire, like, chest up.

[00:26:05] Chinese.

[00:26:06] Yeah.

[00:26:07] Yeah.

[00:26:08] Yeah.

[00:26:09] And you were like, oh, I bet you'd like this place.

[00:26:10] It was like, very low effort.

[00:26:14] Like, like upset him.

[00:26:17] Like, this is like, I was like, this is like a weird event.

[00:26:20] Yeah.

[00:26:21] Like this is just two of my friends being very weird.

[00:26:23] It was called like dragon cabin.

[00:26:25] Yeah.

[00:26:26] I remember you.

[00:26:27] Golden dragon super.

[00:26:28] I mean, it was so effort, but it was also to shitty is Chinese.

[00:26:31] Yeah.

[00:26:32] I hope.

[00:26:33] Yeah.

[00:26:34] I bet you'd be a fan of this.

[00:26:35] Yeah.

[00:26:36] I'm very good.

[00:26:37] You're alley.

[00:26:38] I mean, just just the cocktail of personalities.

[00:26:41] Yeah.

[00:26:42] Yeah.

[00:26:44] He's not, oh, no, you're well adjusted.

[00:26:47] Well, I'm not.

[00:26:50] Virgil is like one of the funniest people I know, but it's like his brain is just like

[00:26:54] creates jokes.

[00:26:56] It's not like he goes.

[00:26:57] He doesn't do like it.

[00:26:58] I mean, he can do it back and forth, but yeah, it's like, I don't know if he's the kind

[00:27:01] of guy where you can like, yeah, it's a different, but you guys are like, oh, I didn't realize

[00:27:05] you hate me.

[00:27:07] Yeah.

[00:27:08] It's a shitty joke about a Chinese girl.

[00:27:10] He's your Chinese.

[00:27:12] Yeah.

[00:27:13] No, I mean, he's just such a funny guy.

[00:27:16] I remember like there was one morning, I'm just like drinking like coffee by myself.

[00:27:20] And he gets out of bed and he kisses you on the cheap.

[00:27:22] Yeah, we were just like, uh, K-Byrne bed.

[00:27:24] No, isn't the coffee we were in that cabin?

[00:27:27] I was like, coffee and it gets very quiet.

[00:27:30] It's like a serene morning in this cabin in the woods and his door just swings open and

[00:27:34] he comes out in his underwear and he's like, oh, hey, you remember on the Simpsons that

[00:27:38] I'm just holding over gains a bunch of weight and he pets the dog real hard.

[00:27:44] What is the point of that scene?

[00:27:46] Yeah.

[00:27:47] God damn dude.

[00:27:48] The fuck?

[00:27:49] Yeah, no, that's like I wrote, I wrote with Virgil for like a fucking year.

[00:27:55] Yeah, for Diggler.

[00:27:56] Yeah, for Diggler.

[00:27:57] We were and because like me and him are both like severely mentally ill.

[00:28:00] Yeah.

[00:28:01] Like, okay, so now like, that's the fucking autism all stars right there.

[00:28:04] Yeah.

[00:28:05] You guys are the fuckers on that trip.

[00:28:06] This is the dream team.

[00:28:07] Yeah.

[00:28:08] That's a flip side about all like autistic people like what makes David cool is that like

[00:28:13] because David's got the worst of all of us.

[00:28:15] Right, right.

[00:28:16] He's actually got it.

[00:28:17] But David is like, I consider him a friend and it's like, it's nice that he's so autistic

[00:28:20] because you can just be rude.

[00:28:21] Yeah.

[00:28:22] You can literally leave while he's mid sentence and he will not be offended.

[00:28:26] He will not think twice about it.

[00:28:28] He will be offended the slightest.

[00:28:29] So just keep talking about the New Jersey Devils.

[00:28:31] That's like, who's like, whoa, he'll be rude to you.

[00:28:33] Yeah.

[00:28:34] You know, and you just like process.

[00:28:36] You laugh at all.

[00:28:37] I love David.

[00:28:38] I love David.

[00:28:39] Hey, what's up, man?

[00:28:40] I heard your wife left you.

[00:28:41] I'm like, thanks, David.

[00:28:42] But yeah, no, so yeah, I wrote with Virgil for like, yeah, like about a year, little under

[00:28:51] and we wrote for the like the shitty place called Cafe that was.

[00:28:54] Oh, yeah.

[00:28:55] Remember that?

[00:28:56] It was like a company.

[00:28:57] You guys were doing some Israeli diaper company, right?

[00:28:59] It wasn't Israeli.

[00:29:00] It wasn't Israeli.

[00:29:01] I wish it was just for the creation.

[00:29:02] It was Saudi.

[00:29:03] It was Muslim.

[00:29:04] It was just an American guy who had a diaper website.

[00:29:07] But you really had it.

[00:29:08] It was literally diapers.

[00:29:09] Yeah, it was literally just diapers.

[00:29:10] And it was like, it was a, you guys did do some good shit though.

[00:29:14] They hired some funny people.

[00:29:15] Yeah, they had Rob and Stefan.

[00:29:17] Yeah.

[00:29:18] And it was a weird kind of, it was just like, you know, any of these companies where a guy

[00:29:20] makes like a billion fucking dollars and he's like, oh, I want to.

[00:29:23] That was my first job, but we didn't do anything funny.

[00:29:25] Yeah, all my other ideas are going to also work out.

[00:29:29] Yeah.

[00:29:30] Yeah, yeah.

[00:29:31] Yeah, including this comedy website that I've conceived of.

[00:29:32] But it was like, life destroying in a good way to do that with Virgil because we would

[00:29:37] feed into each other because we're both very obsessive people.

[00:29:41] As Nick said, his brain just processes these jokes and scenarios, but I would see what

[00:29:45] you have to feed into it.

[00:29:47] Right.

[00:29:48] And we would literally be up to like, we would spend from like 3 p.m. till about like

[00:29:52] 7 a.m. the next day watching videos of Ron Fornier.

[00:29:56] We weren't even on YouTube.

[00:29:57] We don't even gave the shit enough to put them on YouTube.

[00:30:00] You had them on YouTube.

[00:30:01] We'd go to C-SPAN and we'd be like, we would watch like hours and hours of like a Ron Fornier.

[00:30:09] For those who don't know, Ron Fornier is like a guy to hear both sides.

[00:30:12] Really, classically shitty journalist who me and Virgil read so much if we grew to love

[00:30:16] him for this character that we wrote.

[00:30:20] And we would leave.

[00:30:22] So like, one would leave.

[00:30:23] Was Diggler's main input?

[00:30:25] Was it Ron or Solizah?

[00:30:27] It would start with Solizah because the guy who edited it hated Chris Solizah.

[00:30:31] He was like a guy who worked in politics and political media and I think he just had a

[00:30:34] grudge against Chris Solizah.

[00:30:35] I liked the guy a lot who was our editor, but I do think that's what it was.

[00:30:39] But we just-

[00:30:40] Sorry to cut you off.

[00:30:41] What was the line about like New Hampshire, like predicting the New Hampshire primaries

[00:30:46] and there was something that was so fucking funny and such like tight writing about like

[00:30:52] you know they'll go this way because they all hate the police and love fishing or something.

[00:30:56] It was like the way that the lead in the Republican primary is based on the fact that

[00:31:03] most men in New Hampshire's main occupation is filming traffic police.

[00:31:07] Yeah, that's it.

[00:31:10] But that was a fun time.

[00:31:12] It was like, it was un-, that was like around when I first moved here and me and you started

[00:31:19] hanging out in the roomies.

[00:31:21] It was not a time.

[00:31:22] That was before.

[00:31:23] Yeah, before that.

[00:31:24] But you were in the Chinatown apartment.

[00:31:26] Yeah, me and when Nick was in Chinatown, like-

[00:31:28] You were in Queens, I thought, no?

[00:31:29] I was, yeah, I was living in an Astoria in this woman's fucking living room.

[00:31:34] And I would just go to Manhattan and me and Nick would hang out in like a Dunkin' Donuts

[00:31:37] for four hours.

[00:31:38] Yeah, we would do the same with Nick.

[00:31:41] We'd walk around looking for a restaurant.

[00:31:43] Let's get lunch.

[00:31:44] Let's get lunch two and a half hours.

[00:31:46] I would hang out with people like Auschwitz survivors in the Lower East Side.

[00:31:50] I was like, well, sit at the Baskin Robbins.

[00:31:55] That crew of four old Jewish men that Nick and I just listened to for an hour.

[00:31:59] Just sitting there, the guy stealing, he was stealing every single napkin in the dumpkin.

[00:32:03] Yeah, he had a fishing jacket on with probably 700 napkins.

[00:32:07] A tackle vest, right?

[00:32:08] That he was stuffing with napkins because I know what they don't do.

[00:32:11] You remember more?

[00:32:12] He died of bladder cancer.

[00:32:14] They were just talking about people that were dead.

[00:32:16] One of them was like, you know what I'm really afraid of are these mass shootings.

[00:32:24] And I think if I don't die from cancer, I'll probably die in a mass shooting.

[00:32:29] And it turns out that guy was stabbed to death in that rabbi's home.

[00:32:33] No, no, he was not.

[00:32:35] Well, did you guys watch that video?

[00:32:37] I actually didn't fuck.

[00:32:39] Yeah, I watched it.

[00:32:40] Do you know about how Nick you should have let people know about this?

[00:32:44] Oh, no.

[00:32:45] What is that?

[00:32:46] It's so bad.

[00:32:47] I guess I don't know if they're acidic or orthodox, but they're modern orthodox.

[00:32:50] They're modern.

[00:32:51] Sure.

[00:32:52] The modern orthodox.

[00:32:53] And it's clearly in New Jersey.

[00:32:54] It's like teeny after something.

[00:32:55] It sucks.

[00:32:56] It sucks so business.

[00:32:58] It's like the acidic Jewish group created like a children's television show called Fiveish.

[00:33:03] Where could it go wrong?

[00:33:04] Where could it go wrong from here?

[00:33:06] Yeah.

[00:33:07] And Fiveish is like a Barney, but dinosaur.

[00:33:09] But don't blow the load.

[00:33:11] Okay.

[00:33:12] All right.

[00:33:13] All right.

[00:33:14] So we'll let me just.

[00:33:15] Wonderful.

[00:33:16] This sucks.

[00:33:17] So is the mascot of the task force that Nick is even letting more people know about this.

[00:33:22] It is unreal.

[00:33:23] I don't really.

[00:33:24] I cannot fucking believe that they would do this shit.

[00:33:26] And it's like, you know, I don't, I mean, I'll just show Felix and then you can, I will

[00:33:31] just listen to you react to what the fuck this is that they made this and how this is put

[00:33:36] it.

[00:33:37] No, put it in the mic.

[00:33:38] Put it in the mic.

[00:33:39] Not Felix.

[00:33:40] You react.

[00:33:41] Felix is.

[00:33:42] Yeah, this is like a Felix reaction.

[00:33:43] It's like a two girls one cup.

[00:33:45] Okay, so I'm seeing a dollar bill.

[00:33:47] No, no Felix.

[00:33:49] A five dollar bill.

[00:33:51] Oh, no, because his name is five.

[00:33:54] Fiveish is a fucking dollar bill.

[00:33:56] It's money.

[00:33:57] This is a four five.

[00:33:59] Five dollar bill chasing and hanging out with and hugging children.

[00:34:05] This is like, this is like, if the greatest can be if the expense of anti-Semitism came

[00:34:14] together, to make something to make.

[00:34:17] June's that's ugly.

[00:34:18] Make this.

[00:34:19] Are you fucking kidding me?

[00:34:21] All right, I'm seeing clown.

[00:34:24] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

[00:34:34] I sat and I watched this whole 30 minute episode.

[00:34:37] Yeah, I watched the song.

[00:34:38] I didn't watch the rest of it.

[00:34:39] If you'd believe me, it gets even worse.

[00:34:41] What's the book?

[00:34:42] I just break it down the plot.

[00:34:43] I mean, he just hasn't get ready for a Shabbos or whatever.

[00:34:46] And fucking like at one point, he's like, hold on, I got to take a phone call.

[00:34:50] And he's like, what's that?

[00:34:51] Sell.

[00:34:52] When it hits $40, sell, just sell it all.

[00:34:55] He's like, well, maybe you should remind him who put him in office.

[00:34:58] That's funny.

[00:34:59] That's just funny.

[00:35:00] That's good tight comedy, right?

[00:35:01] Oh my God.

[00:35:03] That's awesome.

[00:35:04] I mean, I guess it's like, if you're having a sense of humor.

[00:35:06] I'll be at the island as soon as I wrap this up.

[00:35:08] What if I get on the plane?

[00:35:09] No problem.

[00:35:10] Of course I didn't go to work that day.

[00:35:13] It's on this thing.

[00:35:14] It's just Allen Burjour.

[00:35:17] I never had sex with somebody outside my family.

[00:35:22] I didn't even enjoy the penis massage.

[00:35:25] That's why she had to use her mouth to do it.

[00:35:28] I don't like fucking children, but if I have to, like any American, I will.

[00:35:32] There's nothing sexual about my dinners with my niece.

[00:35:37] We were talking about the red light trap with camera laws.

[00:35:42] That's how I feel about Dershowitz.

[00:35:44] I feel like Tucker has Allen Dershowitz on to make people more anti-Semitic.

[00:35:49] Because it's like, the most people who watch Tucker have met one or two Jews in their life.

[00:35:56] You see this guy on TV and it's like, all right, here's the ugliest and most annoying

[00:36:00] man you've ever seen.

[00:36:02] Who was a pedophile?

[00:36:04] Right, and he's on TV to be like, it's anti-Semitic to not go on vacation to Israel every single

[00:36:10] year.

[00:36:11] And I mean, I guess, there's more like, Jwad of Eve in it.

[00:36:16] There's been Allen Dershowitz's TV appearance.

[00:36:18] Jwad is almost as if the creators of Wonder shows just got too into like, Stormfront.

[00:36:23] Right, right.

[00:36:24] And they're like, you know what, we're going to anonymously make this thing.

[00:36:28] It's incredible.

[00:36:29] It's the best thing I have ever tasted.

[00:36:31] Oh, there's a child's penis.

[00:36:33] And then you can have some of that.

[00:36:36] We'd love to have more job as guests.

[00:36:39] Wouldn't we, boys?

[00:36:40] Really?

[00:36:41] Really?

[00:36:42] What?

[00:36:43] Great.

[00:36:44] It settled that in addition to our surprise guests, the fire chief at his officers will

[00:36:47] be our job as we'll be coordinating with them to make sure that the right ones die in the

[00:36:53] towers.

[00:36:54] I don't, like someone.

[00:37:01] I mean, just imagine like the Jews walking into the costume making shop being like,

[00:37:06] we need to bring money, a costume.

[00:37:10] The guy being like, I don't want to get fired.

[00:37:14] I can't do this.

[00:37:16] I mean, it's fucking insane.

[00:37:18] And we're going to need it for a good price.

[00:37:22] Imagine how you know they haggled over the making of an anthropomorphized.

[00:37:25] It would be almost as offensive as like a show for black children where they talked

[00:37:31] to like a gun.

[00:37:32] Yeah.

[00:37:33] I got a fucking, yeah.

[00:37:35] What's up, I'm a fucking, my name is.

[00:37:37] I'm kicking in the gun.

[00:37:38] My name is robbery the non millimeter.

[00:37:40] Hold on.

[00:37:41] I'm getting the phone call is to pussy fat.

[00:37:44] Put your little dad put your fat on.

[00:37:47] Boy, you know what I do, man.

[00:37:50] Time to go.

[00:37:51] It's hard, kids.

[00:37:52] Time to go Rob Fiverish.

[00:37:54] Time to go pay rent to five and rob his ass.

[00:37:59] You need to do a deep dive on five ish because like I can't, I can't believe.

[00:38:07] How did you find that?

[00:38:09] I was in the, I just saw it in a reply in another, in another tweet.

[00:38:13] A cool website that Nick goes to a really, a really cool message board that Nick posted.

[00:38:19] Somebody posted another video of like, I don't know, like a guy like on Shaba.

[00:38:23] See a gun that's the Jewish guy with a gun that shoots money.

[00:38:29] It's spraying all over this living room and these kids are just like going nuts for the

[00:38:32] money.

[00:38:33] Who wouldn't?

[00:38:34] Who wouldn't?

[00:38:35] It's free money.

[00:38:36] And someone replied, they're like, you know about five ish right?

[00:38:38] And I was like, what's five ish?

[00:38:40] I didn't reply.

[00:38:41] I just clicked on the link.

[00:38:42] And I was like, no.

[00:38:44] Thank you.

[00:38:45] No.

[00:38:46] I don't believe.

[00:38:47] It is.

[00:38:48] It gave me an anxiety attack when Nick sent it to the thread.

[00:38:54] I didn't even see it.

[00:38:55] I was too busy getting fucking swole.

[00:38:57] In the gym.

[00:38:58] I was fucking.

[00:38:59] Honestly, you would have dropped a fucking barbell in your head.

[00:39:01] Yep.

[00:39:02] I probably would have.

[00:39:03] It's incredible.

[00:39:04] Oh, fuck.

[00:39:06] Salute.

[00:39:07] Salute to Jewish children's entertainment.

[00:39:09] So is five ish?

[00:39:10] I have some questions.

[00:39:11] Five ish.

[00:39:12] Yeah.

[00:39:13] Is five ish?

[00:39:14] Like, is it like a Calvin and Hobson where the children are just so excited about it?

[00:39:17] The children are just so excited imagining this big piece of money?

[00:39:20] Or does he like interact with adults?

[00:39:22] He interacts with adults.

[00:39:23] I was him talking to the fire department.

[00:39:25] Oh, wonderful.

[00:39:26] My understanding is that five ish is a single man that invites children over to his house

[00:39:30] to have dinner.

[00:39:32] That's good.

[00:39:33] And then he chases them around.

[00:39:36] Nick hasn't got into what happens when he catches them.

[00:39:43] Yeah.

[00:39:44] I couldn't stomach to watch that, folks.

[00:39:45] You just pull just penis out of the costume and rape kids on camera.

[00:39:50] Yeah.

[00:39:51] There's another one that's equally...

[00:39:54] I guess the time has come.

[00:39:56] Okay everyone, I'll give you a hint with this little riddle.

[00:40:01] I look forward to the visits from this relative all week.

[00:40:05] She's an older wiser fivesh and she may just pinch my cheek.

[00:40:10] She's...

[00:40:11] Bubby.

[00:40:12] My Bubby!

[00:40:13] Now now now now.

[00:40:15] I've got it.

[00:40:16] Oh no.

[00:40:17] Oh no.

[00:40:18] Done being sozzed, it's a purse.

[00:40:20] It's a purse.

[00:40:21] That's a very little chamois boy.

[00:40:22] This gets the talk.

[00:40:23] Well...

[00:40:24] You did it.

[00:40:25] Oh, now you look five-ish, too.

[00:40:28] After all, we've learned together today.

[00:40:30] I bet you all can figure it out.

[00:40:32] The most special shabbos guess we seek shall be...

[00:40:35] It's not a purse, but guess what they did.

[00:40:38] So look at this.

[00:40:39] Interesting.

[00:40:40] So he said, it's my Bubby.

[00:40:41] Obviously, the money needs to have a grand home.

[00:40:43] Of course.

[00:40:44] Now this is all shot in whatever video editor's house is.

[00:40:49] You know.

[00:40:50] All right.

[00:40:51] What the fuck?

[00:40:52] How do I go back to what...

[00:40:53] Sorry, mate.

[00:40:54] Sorry, mate.

[00:40:55] You lost it.

[00:40:56] No, I didn't lose it.

[00:40:58] Anyways.

[00:40:59] So what they do is he's like, it's my Bubby and then they cut to the Bubby, which is just

[00:41:02] a purse on the hand of the $5 bill costume coming through the door with a cane because

[00:41:08] they didn't want to spend the money on a separate costume with the Bubby Carrot.

[00:41:12] They didn't want to create a Bubby Carrot.

[00:41:15] Respect.

[00:41:16] They didn't want to...

[00:41:17] So it's another five-ish.

[00:41:18] They probably were...

[00:41:19] They even gave her a wig.

[00:41:20] It's the same five-ish.

[00:41:21] They didn't give her a wig.

[00:41:22] No, because it's behind the door.

[00:41:23] It's just coming through the door.

[00:41:25] So it's just the hand.

[00:41:26] Can you tell me who she is?

[00:41:28] Chappas Chappas Chappas!

[00:41:30] Bonder bar!

[00:41:31] That's right.

[00:41:32] The Shabbos Queen.

[00:41:33] The Shabbos Queen is the real Shabbos Queen as a guest.

[00:41:38] We all welcome in each week as the sun is setting.

[00:41:41] I feel like people outside the community shouldn't know about the show.

[00:41:45] I'm not a good Shabbos Queen.

[00:41:48] Adam, we have to shut this.

[00:41:50] You know, single way.

[00:41:53] Who's the Shabbos Queen?

[00:41:54] My understanding is that this is Shabbos is like a way Irishman.

[00:41:58] This is...

[00:42:00] That's Robert De Niro.

[00:42:01] And they used money technology to make them look like a bunch of bills.

[00:42:07] I could make Shabbos, Denna.

[00:42:09] I could make that Denna with you.

[00:42:10] I could do it for you.

[00:42:11] Hello, Faihish.

[00:42:12] Is this five-ish swagish?

[00:42:15] This is Jimmy Hoffa.

[00:42:18] I hear you reverse mortgage houses.

[00:42:20] Yeah.

[00:42:21] I hear you kick families out of their homes.

[00:42:24] I hear you kick the blacks out of their homes.

[00:42:29] And then buy the whole townhouse in Bedstock.

[00:42:31] You have a hero of Subprime, Lenday.

[00:42:34] Oh, Faihish.

[00:42:38] I have.

[00:42:39] I have heard of it.

[00:42:40] Yes, sir.

[00:42:41] I have.

[00:42:42] I could do that to you.

[00:42:43] I could do that.

[00:42:44] I could have picked some blacks.

[00:42:45] Yes, I could do that for you.

[00:42:47] So you could get a good deal on a four-fangie.

[00:42:50] Yeah, I don't know.

[00:42:51] I'm not one of those kind of Jews.

[00:42:53] I just want to clarify.

[00:42:54] There was another one that was equally bad named Uncle Moishi.

[00:42:58] Uncle Moishi and the Mitzvah men.

[00:43:00] Okay.

[00:43:01] Yeah, and he would do rap songs about keeping kosher and stuff.

[00:43:05] It sucks that I'm not allowed to be too excited about this.

[00:43:08] It's like you're really restraining yourself.

[00:43:09] Well, it's not fair.

[00:43:10] I didn't do it.

[00:43:11] Yeah, I didn't make this fucking shit.

[00:43:14] Right.

[00:43:15] And it's like, I think.

[00:43:16] I know.

[00:43:17] You want it.

[00:43:18] You're like, you're like, you're chilling.

[00:43:19] It would be awesome to make this.

[00:43:22] Yeah.

[00:43:23] Nick, Nick watching this shit is like Ross and Band of Brothers.

[00:43:28] Seeing the men come back from Europe.

[00:43:30] Yeah.

[00:43:31] It's just the great regret he has in not making a children's TV show where money is friends

[00:43:37] of these Jewish children.

[00:43:39] He's just purely saluting the YouTube video.

[00:43:43] It should have been me.

[00:43:45] It should have been me.

[00:43:47] Soul Bowl.

[00:43:49] It's major winners.

[00:43:50] Damn, I should rewatch Band of Brothers.

[00:43:53] Oh, that's so fucking good.

[00:43:54] Yeah.

[00:43:55] And then just quietly be like, that's me.

[00:43:56] I'm those men.

[00:43:57] I'm them.

[00:43:58] I have those emotions too.

[00:44:00] Yeah.

[00:44:01] Dealing with the war, living in my apartment.

[00:44:03] Posting with that.

[00:44:04] Well, that's what I think.

[00:44:05] I think of all of us as like, you know, the Band of Brothers of content.

[00:44:08] Yeah.

[00:44:09] For sure.

[00:44:10] More than anything.

[00:44:11] For sure.

[00:44:12] Comedians do that shit where they fucking be like, you know, talking to civilians or whatever.

[00:44:14] I hate fucking embarrassing.

[00:44:15] Oh my God.

[00:44:16] That is one of the worst things of all time.

[00:44:17] I know.

[00:44:18] But it's like you would think that like, because it's like people that are genuine, generally

[00:44:22] like pretty critical, you know?

[00:44:26] Right.

[00:44:27] And they're self-aware.

[00:44:28] And that's their biggest blind spot.

[00:44:30] It's crazy.

[00:44:31] It's like they don't regular people don't get it.

[00:44:33] It's like you.

[00:44:34] But just saying civilians are so embarrassing.

[00:44:36] It's fucking embarrassing.

[00:44:37] But it's also like it always comes from them going and doing shows with the troops.

[00:44:41] Oh, no, you think they mean it that way even?

[00:44:44] No, yeah, because they're like, you know, what these guys do.

[00:44:47] It's like I'm somewhere in between them and just to be able to make them laugh.

[00:44:51] And just be like, it makes me kind of like them.

[00:44:53] Yeah, right.

[00:44:54] That was like, that was like.

[00:44:56] I'm like, I went to Afghanistan.

[00:44:57] They gave me a little costume.

[00:44:58] I had a gun.

[00:44:59] I had a picture with holding a big gun.

[00:45:00] A big gun.

[00:45:01] And I was never in any danger.

[00:45:02] Not even close.

[00:45:03] In any way.

[00:45:04] That was like one of when that happened, like in the early and mid 2000s, when they would

[00:45:08] send like fucking Jim Brewer to do stand up and wait, I could never do what you guys do.

[00:45:23] Remember, we, it was just that was like maybe one of the lowest points American culture

[00:45:30] is everything that when it was just like, yeah, every every show, every like comedy central

[00:45:36] special is called like beer and cigarette butts, but it would close with like, anyway, we've

[00:45:43] had a lot of fun tonight, but this year I went to a highly guarded and safe military

[00:45:48] base that was totally air conditioned in Kuwait.

[00:45:52] And you know, some of these guys potentially could die one day.

[00:45:55] Yeah.

[00:45:56] And I did comedy for them.

[00:45:57] And I want you to think about that tonight.

[00:45:59] Yeah.

[00:46:00] The sacrifices these people make for us for us.

[00:46:03] You know, and you got to fucking Andy Andrews did the Jim Norton down and dirty special.

[00:46:07] The whole premise being like, these are offensive comedians.

[00:46:10] And they cut his set because he fucking like went out and he's like, you guys support the

[00:46:16] troops.

[00:46:17] And then everyone's like, whoo, you know, like when he's like, yeah, what do you do for

[00:46:20] him?

[00:46:21] Yeah.

[00:46:22] I mean, you guys do anything for him or nothing?

[00:46:30] Okay.

[00:46:31] Okay.

[00:46:32] Cool.

[00:46:33] That's woo at a comedy show.

[00:46:34] That's what I thought.

[00:46:35] They cut it.

[00:46:36] They cut his whole set.

[00:46:39] That's crazy.

[00:46:40] Yeah.

[00:46:41] Down and dirty, baby.

[00:46:42] We can say whatever we want.

[00:46:44] Just don't don't offend the military in a backhanded way.

[00:46:49] That was, yeah, that was like the big thing in 2005 was to just nothing's off limits.

[00:46:55] Everything's okay.

[00:46:56] But it's just like that was the era of yeah, don't don't don't do the Iraq.

[00:47:01] Yeah.

[00:47:02] Yeah.

[00:47:03] He shot the babies from that era.

[00:47:04] I know, which is like one of the only good surviving.

[00:47:06] It's funny.

[00:47:07] It's like you look back and it's so funny how often we're taking it to great.

[00:47:11] It's often it's a fantastic is that he's going to support Warcraft.

[00:47:15] Yeah.

[00:47:16] Yeah.

[00:47:17] They send me over there.

[00:47:19] They send me there on a Tuesday.

[00:47:21] I'll be back by Friday.

[00:47:23] The war's over.

[00:47:25] I shoot everybody.

[00:47:26] Yeah.

[00:47:27] The premise is that coming at me like, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah.

[00:47:33] But he starts that joke very like in a woke way.

[00:47:36] He says that he's like, ain't no motherfucking weapons of mass destruction.

[00:47:40] There's no reason for us to be over there.

[00:47:42] He's not.

[00:47:43] He always, he's like, he's like, he's the premises.

[00:47:45] He's like, you wouldn't be that scared.

[00:47:47] He's like, yeah.

[00:47:48] My cool joke is like, let a man kill some dogs.

[00:47:51] Yeah.

[00:47:52] But where he gets there from is like, what about Sean Bell?

[00:47:54] I'll come there when he gives a shit about that.

[00:47:56] Yeah.

[00:47:57] Yeah.

[00:47:58] Which is a good point.

[00:47:59] You know, you don't even know who he is.

[00:48:00] I bet you don't, Adam.

[00:48:01] Sean Bell?

[00:48:02] You don't even know who he is.

[00:48:03] I know.

[00:48:04] Nope.

[00:48:05] There was a.

[00:48:06] There was a, the rapper, Papus made like, he made like a pretty good show song about

[00:48:13] Sean Bell, I remember, but then I forget who it was.

[00:48:16] I think it might have been Fungmaster Flex.

[00:48:18] Like, he did that thing where you're the DJ and you like, talk over parts of the song.

[00:48:22] Yeah.

[00:48:23] And he said, one of the things he said was like, keep a gun in your glove box.

[00:48:26] And if a cop comes up to your car, just shoot him.

[00:48:29] And he's like, whoa, whoa.

[00:48:32] I don't think you should just like, that's like good.

[00:48:36] It just like, tell anyone who's hearing this on the rate on hot 97.

[00:48:40] Just be saying it on one of the biggest fucking radio stations.

[00:48:45] Who's the other guy?

[00:48:46] Diallo?

[00:48:47] I'm a dude.

[00:48:48] Diallo.

[00:48:49] Yeah.

[00:48:50] Yeah.

[00:48:51] That was like in the late 90s.

[00:48:52] Yeah.

[00:48:53] Bruce Springsteen made a song.

[00:48:54] Mumea too.

[00:48:55] Well, Mumea's in Philly, I thought.

[00:48:58] Yeah.

[00:48:59] Springsteen didn't kill him.

[00:49:00] They put him in shot.

[00:49:01] He shot a cop.

[00:49:02] Yeah.

[00:49:03] Yeah.

[00:49:04] Cool.

[00:49:05] Respect.

[00:49:06] He did the right thing.

[00:49:07] He did.

[00:49:08] He did the right, which is the move.

[00:49:09] Yeah.

[00:49:10] He's kind of the reverse kumia.

[00:49:12] They said the kumia, mumea debate.

[00:49:17] The police are fucking animals.

[00:49:21] They're fucking savages.

[00:49:25] Fuck, dude.

[00:49:29] I went over there.

[00:49:31] Listen, you guys over here laughing.

[00:49:33] I'm the only one who ever supported the troops.

[00:49:35] I went into the South Korea.

[00:49:37] I went to South Korea and Japan in 2011 to have lunch with Ben.

[00:49:42] I did have some good lunch, Ben's, honestly.

[00:49:45] And I really wanted to go to a fucking hostess bar, which is where you pay a woman to pay

[00:49:50] to pay you hostess.

[00:49:51] Yeah.

[00:49:52] No.

[00:49:53] No.

[00:49:54] That's good.

[00:49:55] Springsteen is also a little Debbie's.

[00:49:57] That would actually be cool if you get sucked off and eat a fucking crimp it, dude.

[00:50:02] Yeah.

[00:50:03] That ain't bad.

[00:50:04] Butterscotch.

[00:50:05] I'm not going against this because you're making fun of me.

[00:50:07] Yeah.

[00:50:08] But now I'm for it because the idea of getting sucked off while eating a fucking crimp it,

[00:50:11] or for that matter, the little peanut butter ones, those are fucking incredible.

[00:50:15] I don't actually know what they're called.

[00:50:17] I forgot the name.

[00:50:18] And I love the peanut butter crimp is.

[00:50:19] No, dude.

[00:50:20] The little circular peanut butter boys.

[00:50:22] I know it's a little Debbie's.

[00:50:23] They have a shit that are wild.

[00:50:25] They're so good.

[00:50:26] They're like daughter butters?

[00:50:27] No, they're like a little cake.

[00:50:29] There's a layer of peanut, peanut butter over top and they're covered completely submerged

[00:50:34] in chocolate.

[00:50:35] So it's a Reese's cup.

[00:50:37] It's got cake.

[00:50:38] It's a cake.

[00:50:39] It's cake.

[00:50:40] Little layer of peanut butter.

[00:50:42] Chocolate.

[00:50:43] Sounds like a Reese's cup.

[00:50:44] Don't do this, man.

[00:50:45] This isn't funny.

[00:50:46] It's funny to say these Reese's cups.

[00:50:49] I'll tell you what, man.

[00:50:50] Now that I think about it, it sounds a Reese's cup.

[00:50:54] You got to chill out because we're about to throw hands.

[00:50:57] Can you please like throw hands?

[00:50:59] I need a DS oil.

[00:51:00] Pick up some Reese's cups and then whatever these things are.

[00:51:04] They do a little Pepsi taste challenge.

[00:51:07] Okay, I would love to do that because these are going to be much different.

[00:51:10] You know what, someone described why the Pepsi taste challenge works because the first

[00:51:16] sip of a Pepsi, they use, Pepsi is way sweeter.

[00:51:21] So they feel like in comparison it's better and usually people choose it.

[00:51:25] But over time, it's nasty to drink a Pepsi compared to like the...

[00:51:29] The Coca-Cola is a good session soda.

[00:51:31] That's on me.

[00:51:32] You chill out at night, you have 14, 15.

[00:51:34] Exactly.

[00:51:35] You can't do that with a Pepsi.

[00:51:37] Now I prefer a code red, a Mountain Dew code red for that type of situation.

[00:51:41] Yeah, a Mountain Dew Chode head.

[00:51:44] That's awesome.

[00:51:45] But Pepsi.

[00:51:46] A Mountain Dew Chode head.

[00:51:49] Yeah, that's a...

[00:51:50] You want a diet, you got a fat drink?

[00:51:53] Yeah, you want a diet, you got fat drink?

[00:51:59] Who found that guy?

[00:52:00] Did Michael husband find that guy?

[00:52:02] The guy on the diet guy?

[00:52:03] No, I think that was...

[00:52:04] I mean, black Twitter.

[00:52:05] Because I follow Michael, so I think I see those guys before.

[00:52:10] He found some cheeseburger guy last week.

[00:52:12] That's awesome.

[00:52:13] He's good at finding people.

[00:52:14] Yeah.

[00:52:15] He's really, he's the best.

[00:52:16] He's the king of that.

[00:52:17] Yeah, please, you better shine.

[00:52:19] I'm not here right now.

[00:52:20] He's a message, you have to be the...

[00:52:25] Hey, Bursham.

[00:52:27] It's me, Terry.

[00:52:28] It's your neighbor.

[00:52:30] Your friend keeps coming over and I can hear you guys having gay sex.

[00:52:33] Could you please kind of keep it down my son?

[00:52:35] You're kind of within eyesight of my son.

[00:52:38] Anyway, Bursham, have a nice day.

[00:52:42] Thank you.

[00:52:43] Oh, fuck, dude.

[00:52:45] Yeah.

[00:52:46] How's your name?

[00:52:48] How's Ron doing?

[00:52:51] Let's go back to...

[00:52:52] They're pretty good, dude.

[00:52:55] Trump's tweeting at them in Farsi.

[00:52:58] Yeah.

[00:52:59] Izzy?

[00:53:00] Yeah.

[00:53:01] He's telling them that he has mad respect.

[00:53:03] They had a couple of good posts.

[00:53:04] He's putting respect on their name.

[00:53:05] Can I be honest?

[00:53:06] They had some good posts.

[00:53:07] The flag that turned into that.

[00:53:08] The flag that turned into a coffin.

[00:53:09] That was sick.

[00:53:10] Sick.

[00:53:11] All time post, bro.

[00:53:12] Sick.

[00:53:13] Respect to them.

[00:53:14] They have meme makers out that motherfucker.

[00:53:17] Goddamn.

[00:53:18] Yeah.

[00:53:19] And that flag that Trump posted was like...

[00:53:20] Yeah.

[00:53:21] Pixelated.

[00:53:22] Like shit.

[00:53:23] For sure.

[00:53:24] That sucked.

[00:53:25] That was boomer signaling, though.

[00:53:26] Yeah.

[00:53:27] It was like him showing like...

[00:53:28] It was.

[00:53:29] Hey, I downloaded very artifact jigs, too.

[00:53:33] No, they posted their flag after they symbolically hit our base.

[00:53:38] Gotcha.

[00:53:39] Yeah.

[00:53:40] Did anyone die?

[00:53:41] I think some are rocky.

[00:53:42] Probably like a...

[00:53:43] Probably like a Filipino guy who was cutting hair on the base.

[00:53:47] Like that's who probably died.

[00:53:48] Yeah.

[00:53:49] A sneaker head, yeah.

[00:53:50] Yeah.

[00:53:51] I don't know.

[00:53:52] I'm being blown that.

[00:53:53] No, it was...

[00:53:54] Yeah, they only worn flip-flops this entire life.

[00:53:58] That was the best headline I saw that was the Polish prime minister coming out being

[00:54:04] like, don't worry.

[00:54:05] No Polish troops were harmed.

[00:54:07] Anyone fucking asked.

[00:54:10] They got Polish motherfuckers in Iraq.

[00:54:13] Oh yeah, that was like a big thing during the initial invasion was that it was a big

[00:54:18] deal that we got Poland on our side.

[00:54:19] They needed somebody to speak retard.

[00:54:22] Yeah.

[00:54:23] Yeah, would they come in on fucking horseback?

[00:54:25] Yeah.

[00:54:26] With swords.

[00:54:27] They got horses with training wheels on them.

[00:54:29] Because they're fucking idiots.

[00:54:32] Propeller beanies.

[00:54:33] A couple of Polish troops are on horses wearing armor with propeller beanies.

[00:54:40] I love that their own language proves that they're illiterate.

[00:54:44] Yep.

[00:54:45] They're like, we don't know how to use the season Z's.

[00:54:48] All the letters.

[00:54:49] And why?

[00:54:50] We're learning how to use the letters.

[00:54:52] There was a crisis in Poland because the president and vice president were twins and

[00:54:58] then they both died in Iraq.

[00:55:01] Yeah, Polish way here government.

[00:55:05] It's a riddle.

[00:55:07] Yeah.

[00:55:09] That's incredible dude.

[00:55:10] They were twins.

[00:55:12] Yeah.

[00:55:13] Yeah, they were breaking news.

[00:55:14] It turns out that the doctor was a woman.

[00:55:17] So that's how the doctor can be the boy's parent with the father was because it is woman

[00:55:25] doctor.

[00:55:26] And everyone's booing the TV.

[00:55:29] Yeah.

[00:55:30] Yeah.

[00:55:31] Yeah.

[00:55:32] The answer to earlier story is it is a baby is for leg.

[00:55:39] And then the man is two leg and then old man is three leg.

[00:55:44] That's the answer to the news earlier.

[00:55:47] I don't know any other riddles.

[00:55:51] What about thing you.

[00:55:53] Well, that's how that's how the twins got all.

[00:55:55] Oh, yeah.

[00:55:56] They got the debate as a team.

[00:55:57] Why in red all.

[00:55:58] Oh, yeah.

[00:55:59] Nice.

[00:56:00] They're wearing matching jumps.

[00:56:01] Right.

[00:56:02] And one could only tell the truth and one could only lie and no, none of the opposition's

[00:56:05] candidates were smart enough.

[00:56:08] They cracked that one.

[00:56:12] They were going to rule forever.

[00:56:14] Damn.

[00:56:15] RIP to the fucking twin presidents, dude.

[00:56:18] They were also they hook up to that's hot.

[00:56:20] Yeah.

[00:56:21] Were they hot like those two European gay porn stars that are identical twins.

[00:56:25] Wait for real?

[00:56:26] Yeah.

[00:56:27] And they're in love with each other in the air.

[00:56:29] We'll find out about them by opening Adam's laptop and clicking the home.

[00:56:33] You know, that's on my home page.

[00:56:36] You know, it's your home page.

[00:56:38] It's a tab and it's recently visited, but it's not your home.

[00:56:41] You know, my home page is what is it?

[00:56:45] Sports stuff.

[00:56:46] No, it's pictures, regular sports.

[00:56:48] You Photoshop in between those two twins sucking into a 50 story tall man's arms.

[00:56:54] Oh, really?

[00:56:55] Like Adam's fan Adam imagines being like King Kong pulling him out of a building.

[00:57:00] Let me just be weak.

[00:57:01] He's talking his tiny little dick with his giant hip being shoved headfirst into the

[00:57:06] anus.

[00:57:07] That's a large monkey.

[00:57:10] It's an ape.

[00:57:11] All right.

[00:57:12] So wait, now I don't like that though, because that means he's a monkey.

[00:57:15] He's an ape.

[00:57:16] He's a monkey.

[00:57:17] He's a great ape.

[00:57:18] No, the great apes are gorillas.

[00:57:19] Chimpanzees.

[00:57:20] King Kong is a large gorilla.

[00:57:22] No, King Kong is King Kong.

[00:57:23] No, King Kong is a large gorilla.

[00:57:25] King Kong is more closely related to a planet than he is to a gorilla.

[00:57:32] Anything that is not an ape becomes a monkey.

[00:57:34] No, no.

[00:57:35] No, no chance.

[00:57:36] That's not how taxonomy works.

[00:57:38] He's a big ass gorilla, bro.

[00:57:41] He's looks like a gorilla, but he's not a gorilla.

[00:57:43] King Kong is a gorilla.

[00:57:44] King Kong is a gorilla.

[00:57:45] He looks like raccoons, but they're not raccoons.

[00:57:47] They're pandas.

[00:57:48] No, they're they are rodents.

[00:57:51] They're not paid or not.

[00:57:52] They're big mice.

[00:57:53] They're a giant mice.

[00:57:55] They're a type of mouse which qualifies as a bear.

[00:57:58] No, hold on.

[00:58:00] Is King Kong a gorilla dot com?

[00:58:02] He is.

[00:58:03] He's just a giant gorilla.

[00:58:05] They call him that.

[00:58:06] No, because there was a moron.

[00:58:08] No, because they were experimenting with nuclear weapons.

[00:58:11] He's genetic in on it.

[00:58:13] Where it comes from?

[00:58:14] He resembles a gorilla.

[00:58:15] He resembles a gorilla.

[00:58:16] But they didn't say he resembles a fucking monkey.

[00:58:19] But that's because monkey is a order.

[00:58:22] No.

[00:58:23] And there are orders and finalists.

[00:58:24] No, let's not start this again.

[00:58:25] I believe you were wrong about Benite.

[00:58:27] I was right about it.

[00:58:28] Oh my god.

[00:58:29] You were wrong about it.

[00:58:30] You were wrong about it.

[00:58:31] You were wrong about King Kong.

[00:58:32] You were out of your mind.

[00:58:33] You were dead wrong about it.

[00:58:34] You were out of your fucking mind, dude.

[00:58:36] For the last time, Benobos are a type of chimpanzee.

[00:58:40] No, brother.

[00:58:41] There are common chimpanzees and bonobo chimpanzees.

[00:58:44] If you say chims, you're referring to the genus Pan.

[00:58:48] Doesn't sound rich for me.

[00:58:49] What about Phylum?

[00:58:51] Kingdom.

[00:58:52] Ape.

[00:58:53] Monkey.

[00:58:54] Oh, so Ape is number one.

[00:59:00] King Kong Felix, is he a gorilla?

[00:59:03] Time to weigh in.

[00:59:05] I mean, he has the proportions of a gorilla.

[00:59:08] Thank you.

[00:59:09] Thank you.

[00:59:10] He's a gorilla juice head.

[00:59:11] He's like the head of a gorilla.

[00:59:14] But he's like a 500-foot-tall ape.

[00:59:17] Yeah, I know.

[00:59:18] That's a gorilla.

[00:59:19] It's a gorilla, dude.

[00:59:20] But it's still an ape.

[00:59:21] That's the point.

[00:59:22] The point is, if not a monkey, he can all agree he's not a monkey.

[00:59:24] He's a monkey because he apes.

[00:59:25] We know all the apes.

[00:59:26] We don't know all the monkeys.

[00:59:28] That's not fucking true.

[00:59:29] How do you, can you say we know all the apes?

[00:59:32] We don't know all the fucking apes.

[00:59:33] We don't know that.

[00:59:34] By the very nature, whatever the fuck virtue or whatever, of yes, I'm not knowing them.

[00:59:40] We don't know all of them.

[00:59:41] No, no, no.

[00:59:42] If they don't, we don't know if there may be out there.

[00:59:44] How the fuck do we know that we know them all?

[00:59:45] It's resembling an enormous...

[00:59:47] If we don't know the fucking monkeys and we don't know the gorillas either.

[00:59:49] How about this?

[00:59:50] Fucking...

[00:59:51] So Godzilla.

[00:59:52] Okay.

[00:59:53] Warm-blooded.

[00:59:54] Dinosaur.

[00:59:55] Explain that.

[00:59:56] How do you know that?

[00:59:58] That's part of the fucking fire?

[00:59:59] Part yes, partially.

[01:00:01] But yeah, he could actually, yes, he can regulate his own body temperature by his ability

[01:00:04] to produce fire.

[01:00:06] So by virtue of being warm-blooded, Godzilla is not a reptile.

[01:00:11] You fucking...

[01:00:12] God, I don't even feel that.

[01:00:13] I don't even feel that.

[01:00:14] The fuck is talking about Godzilla right now.

[01:00:15] Because they're both giant monsters.

[01:00:16] No.

[01:00:17] And they would know.

[01:00:18] Godzilla is fake and King Kong is real.

[01:00:21] That is true.

[01:00:23] Godzilla is Jewish and King Kong is Muslim.

[01:00:27] That might...

[01:00:28] Yeah.

[01:00:29] Godzilla?

[01:00:30] J. and fucking...

[01:00:33] Big King Kong.

[01:00:34] He's straight.

[01:00:35] No, he's straight.

[01:00:36] He's...

[01:00:37] He wanted to fuck that bitch.

[01:00:38] The blonde bitch.

[01:00:39] Yeah.

[01:00:40] That's the whole point.

[01:00:41] That's the whole point.

[01:00:42] And I think everyone says it's like a metaphor for racist people.

[01:00:46] Right.

[01:00:47] They wanted to keep them apart.

[01:00:49] Because they racistly saw them as the threat.

[01:00:52] They didn't think that she could.

[01:00:53] Yeah.

[01:00:54] African-American is getting pussy from them.

[01:00:57] Yeah.

[01:00:58] That's pretty sad.

[01:00:59] It's a powerful...

[01:01:00] It's pretty sad that they killed them.

[01:01:02] It's a powerful statement.

[01:01:04] Yeah, we should watch Forrest Gump with stuff.

[01:01:08] I don't want to watch that movie.

[01:01:09] It looks like shit.

[01:01:10] What do you mean?

[01:01:11] He goes through all of history.

[01:01:12] He runs along time.

[01:01:13] His girlfriend gives a fuck.

[01:01:14] I mean, he's in a great movie, but I mean...

[01:01:17] It's not good.

[01:01:18] Well, you're not like...

[01:01:19] You're obviously not like a completionist with movies.

[01:01:21] He's like, no.

[01:01:22] You've seen like the least.

[01:01:23] I've seen very few movies.

[01:01:26] And I don't give a fuck about Forrest Gump.

[01:01:27] You've seen Finding Nemo though.

[01:01:28] That's a good movie.

[01:01:31] Finding Nemo is good.

[01:01:32] That part with the shark has an eaten and then he smells a little blood.

[01:01:36] And then a hilarious chase ensues, but you're also worried.

[01:01:39] Yeah, it's scary.

[01:01:40] It's scary.

[01:01:42] And it also tells you how quickly friend can turn to foe if you don't know someone that

[01:01:46] way.

[01:01:47] I watched that movie Coco Pixar's Coco.

[01:01:49] I don't want that to satisfy...

[01:01:50] On a plane.

[01:01:51] I can't talk about that.

[01:01:52] And I wept.

[01:01:53] I cried on Chris Rides so far.

[01:01:55] Last year.

[01:01:56] It's the saddest movie ever.

[01:01:58] Oh my god.

[01:01:59] Don't watch it.

[01:02:00] Yeah.

[01:02:01] First of all, okay, here's the thing about Forrest Gump I don't get.

[01:02:04] Is that you're supposed to have happened?

[01:02:06] Yes.

[01:02:07] He was a real guy.

[01:02:08] I know he's not a real guy.

[01:02:09] He's a real guy.

[01:02:10] You showed Nixon and his dad?

[01:02:11] I know he's not a real guy.

[01:02:12] Wait, is your question, is this movie I understand to be fictional, supposed to be a real guy in

[01:02:19] the contest on the fictional world?

[01:02:21] Yes.

[01:02:22] Yes.

[01:02:23] Sort of.

[01:02:24] That is the dumbest movie ever asked on this show.

[01:02:28] No, it's not.

[01:02:29] That is the worst one.

[01:02:30] That is the worst one.

[01:02:31] It's a thought provoking question.

[01:02:32] No, it's a thought provoking question.

[01:02:33] It's a thought provoking question for us to end and who is his human.

[01:02:43] Because here's the question.

[01:02:44] That is the worst one ever asked.

[01:02:46] And if you let it stop, it's so stupid.

[01:02:48] If you let it stop, that is insane.

[01:02:50] No, no, it's not.

[01:02:52] And if you let me finish.

[01:02:53] Okay.

[01:02:54] Let's hear about it.

[01:02:59] Okay.

[01:03:00] My point is, was he really supposed to have run across America without a break that long?

[01:03:07] Well, he probably pissed himself.

[01:03:10] You're right.

[01:03:11] That does change that.

[01:03:13] Is he some kind of superhero?

[01:03:15] Is he some kind of, you know what I'm saying?

[01:03:17] You're saying, is he hallucinating these events in the movie?

[01:03:20] Yeah.

[01:03:21] Did they really?

[01:03:22] Did someone really run across America without taking a break?

[01:03:25] What I'm saying in this movie, are we supposed to believe in the world of this movie that

[01:03:29] Forrest Gump is some kind of either superhero or an ultra endurance athlete or something

[01:03:34] who runs?

[01:03:35] Or was he having?

[01:03:36] He walks across the United States.

[01:03:38] No, he runs.

[01:03:39] He jogs.

[01:03:40] Most of it.

[01:03:41] He does most of it.

[01:03:42] Is he, is that supposed to have really happened?

[01:03:44] Like in the universe of the movie.

[01:03:46] Yeah, I believe so.

[01:03:47] He's also fucked that.

[01:03:48] He's also, is that?

[01:03:49] Is that?

[01:03:50] Do you want this shit to be wild?

[01:03:52] I don't want, if there's going to be magic in a movie, he's also, I don't want it to

[01:03:55] be flat magic.

[01:03:56] He's also, it's magic.

[01:03:57] I'm mentally disabled person that went to Vietnam and met the president and is a ping

[01:04:01] pong champion and got pussy.

[01:04:04] All that checks out from his, from Johnny Aids.

[01:04:07] Johnny Aids.

[01:04:08] All of that checks out.

[01:04:09] He gave Jenny Aids, which he doesn't can't, you know, because guys can't get it.

[01:04:13] Well, retarded people, or gay guys.

[01:04:15] Retarded people can't get it.

[01:04:16] It's called the action.

[01:04:17] The chromosome fights.

[01:04:18] Like God's version of double Japanese.

[01:04:21] Yes.

[01:04:22] Yes.

[01:04:23] You can't be what's in Jesus Christ.

[01:04:25] Oh, oh, oh, oh, not in the game show in the like, in the sense of the life thing.

[01:04:31] Yeah.

[01:04:32] It's never been a case of it.

[01:04:33] Yeah.

[01:04:34] There's literally never been a case of a mentally disabled person that got AIDS.

[01:04:37] I don't know that that's true.

[01:04:39] Yeah.

[01:04:40] Can you imagine that though?

[01:04:41] Like listen, I mean, I can't scooter.

[01:04:43] I got some bad.

[01:04:44] It's sad.

[01:04:45] Well, it's the bad news.

[01:04:51] I can imagine.

[01:04:52] I think you'd be very sad to find out.

[01:04:54] I think you'd be really bummed out.

[01:04:58] Just the cookie scene in the 80s Greenwich Village.

[01:05:01] That's the Oreos thing.

[01:05:03] Were you sharing Oreos?

[01:05:05] Yeah.

[01:05:06] Were you sharing?

[01:05:07] There was an apartment where nine guys were just eating thin mints all day long.

[01:05:13] And feeding each other thin mints with punch all over their mouth.

[01:05:16] With punch all over their mouth.

[01:05:17] And so quick, you get fucking paper cuts all over your dumb and exact hands.

[01:05:22] And then they're high-fiving each other.

[01:05:25] You the cookies.

[01:05:27] It was in nobody care.

[01:05:31] It was a it was a wild time.

[01:05:33] There's that Mark Ruffalo movie about it.

[01:05:35] Anyway, but that's all.

[01:05:36] We're dying and nobody cares.

[01:05:38] Nobody cares.

[01:05:39] So that was in Forrest Gump, the cookie stuff in Greenwich Village.

[01:05:44] Part of the stuff.

[01:05:46] So if I understand you're against like magical realism.

[01:05:50] My big gripe is if you're going to use magic in a movie, don't use it for jogging.

[01:05:55] Let him have fireballs.

[01:05:56] Let someone, you know what I mean?

[01:05:58] My sorcerer.

[01:05:59] Something like that.

[01:06:00] Don't make the guy a jogger.

[01:06:01] Don't make the guy a jogger.

[01:06:02] Who gives a fuck?

[01:06:03] Let him fly.

[01:06:09] I know.

[01:06:10] Also, I don't think it's a ping pong champion.

[01:06:13] Ping pong's fucking cool, but you can be kind of magic.

[01:06:15] I buy that a mentally disabled man gets good as shit at ping pong.

[01:06:21] I buy that.

[01:06:22] I don't buy that he can draw.

[01:06:23] Against the Chinese.

[01:06:25] If you could play ping pong, why couldn't he jog?

[01:06:27] Yeah.

[01:06:28] Because it wasn't because it's feasible.

[01:06:30] You don't think there's a jogger cross America.

[01:06:32] Within the limits of his fucking physical abilities to be good.

[01:06:38] You don't think someone's capable of jogging a cross America?

[01:06:40] I mean, does he ever take a break?

[01:06:41] Does he sleep?

[01:06:42] It doesn't show the breaks, but it's implied that probably-

[01:06:44] It's not implied.

[01:06:45] It's implied that he goes the whole time.

[01:06:47] It's not implied.

[01:06:48] It's not implied.

[01:06:49] It's not implied he takes breaks.

[01:06:50] I don't think-

[01:06:51] Anyone watching the movie is like, well, they didn't address the breaks.

[01:06:54] Well, that was a big problem for me when I watched it.

[01:06:58] To me, and I wasn't really paying attention, I will admit that.

[01:07:01] I was only sort of tuned in, but to me it seemed like they were implying that he ran

[01:07:06] across America with no breaks for years.

[01:07:09] I think he is positioning me.

[01:07:10] I think Robert Zemeckas left that up to the audience to figure out the-

[01:07:14] Well, that's a failure of filmmaking to me.

[01:07:16] In my opinion, that's two- I did not deal well with that level of-

[01:07:22] You like all the eyes dotted and the teas crossed.

[01:07:26] Exactly.

[01:07:27] I'm forgetting the word I want to say.

[01:07:28] I'm forgetting the word I want to say, but I remember it.

[01:07:32] It's like how in the Titanic all the plates in the movie had like a Titanic-

[01:07:35] Still your dumbest thing.

[01:07:36] Yeah, it's really dumb.

[01:07:37] No.

[01:07:38] You tried to wriggle your way out.

[01:07:40] First of all, I didn't need the try-

[01:07:41] I think that's supposed to be real.

[01:07:44] Yes, to jogging.

[01:07:45] What's the movie?

[01:07:46] He doesn't even have magic powers.

[01:07:48] It was what happened in the movie so far.

[01:07:50] Yeah, it's-

[01:07:51] In the world of the movie, it doesn't make sense to me.

[01:07:55] Unless it does.

[01:07:56] There's literally no magic.

[01:07:58] Everything across the country with no breaks, there's magic.

[01:08:00] They never say that he doesn't take it.

[01:08:02] Well, it seems like he's not taking breaks to me.

[01:08:05] But that's editing.

[01:08:07] That's edited.

[01:08:08] That's edited.

[01:08:09] That's right.

[01:08:10] It makes him like a kid you as thing.

[01:08:12] The way it was done to me, did not make it clear.

[01:08:15] And as far as I'm concerned, I'm really trying to remember the word I'm looking for that would

[01:08:21] really just sew up my argument here, but I can't remember it.

[01:08:26] It's something like, it starts with an A, whereas they make something vague.

[01:08:31] Let's not say anything until he remembers the word.

[01:08:35] Okay, hold on, give me a second.

[01:08:38] Fuck.

[01:08:39] Let me go to thesaurus.com and look up the word vague.

[01:08:44] It's like-

[01:08:45] It's like-

[01:08:46] It's like-

[01:08:47] It's like-

[01:08:48] Fuck dude.

[01:08:49] It's like-

[01:08:50] You know, he doesn't-

[01:08:51] It's not specific.

[01:08:52] He leaves it up.

[01:08:53] He leaves it up.

[01:08:56] Ambiguity.

[01:08:57] That's the word I was looking for.

[01:08:59] All right, I didn't deal well with that level of ambiguity in the movie.

[01:09:02] All right, well now I agree with you.

[01:09:04] That's so-

[01:09:05] No, I totally agree with you.

[01:09:06] That's so-

[01:09:07] You're right up, Tom.

[01:09:08] You're arguing to consider it so-

[01:09:09] Thank you very much.

[01:09:11] It was in Tatters, but now it has been so-

[01:09:13] Goddamn, I feel like motherfucking the rage and cajun over here, dude.

[01:09:19] I'm out here debating.

[01:09:20] Oh, James Carpethi.

[01:09:21] James Carpethi.

[01:09:22] That was exactly like a car bill.

[01:09:25] It was a car billian performance.

[01:09:27] And I'm about to go get pussy from my Republican-

[01:09:30] Oh, the question I have is in the Mooetaw movie.

[01:09:37] Are we supposed to believe that the Mooetaw actually exists?

[01:09:41] Is this Bill of Cosmo?

[01:09:43] Everything turns into Bill of Cosmo.

[01:09:45] If I start doing something, I'm like, well, I don't have it.

[01:09:46] I guess it's Bill of Cosmo.

[01:09:48] Oh, fuck dude.

[01:09:51] Yeah, so anyway, fuck Robert Jamaica, fuck Polar Express.

[01:09:56] Except for-

[01:09:57] Except for-

[01:09:58] Back to the future.

[01:09:59] And the Fuller Express, Spielberg.

[01:10:02] And also Roger Rabbit, who gave-

[01:10:04] Roger Rabbit rules.

[01:10:05] Who gave brain to Roger Rabbit.

[01:10:06] Okay, that's a great example of something where there's magic that I fuck with.

[01:10:10] It's cartoon characters.

[01:10:11] One of the cartoons.

[01:10:13] One of the cartoons.

[01:10:21] I like that cartoon.

[01:10:23] I share it with you.

[01:10:26] Hopefully the damage done to the Jewish community by that video is just completely through

[01:10:31] a place where the Germans stop and done to the Greek community in the last 15 minutes.

[01:10:37] Just as if he was the worst ambassador.

[01:10:41] And then 15 minutes ago, having the audacity to call Polish people stupid.

[01:10:48] Fuck you, God.

[01:10:51] Oh, fuck dude.

[01:10:56] Thank you for allowing me to get down by chest.

[01:10:58] About our before us to come.

[01:11:00] No, no.

[01:11:01] Because it needed to be set.

[01:11:02] It needed to be set.

[01:11:03] We're letting our boy go.

[01:11:05] Too many people.

[01:11:06] And for too long, I've called that a good movie without addressing this-

[01:11:09] No, it's a good impression.

[01:11:12] It's glaring.

[01:11:13] It's not a good movie.

[01:11:14] It's not a good movie.

[01:11:15] It's unrealistic.

[01:11:16] It's because everyone sees it.

[01:11:18] Because it was like an events movie where everyone saw Forrest Gump.

[01:11:22] And that's why we were saying it was remarkable that you hadn't seen it.

[01:11:24] Not because it was a good movie.

[01:11:26] It's like not seeing Titanic or something.

[01:11:28] I saw that, brother.

[01:11:29] You better believe I saw that.

[01:11:30] Because you see Rose's titties, bro.

[01:11:32] That's right.

[01:11:33] Do you remember the Monday at school after that?

[01:11:34] I didn't know.

[01:11:35] I was with my family.

[01:11:37] And then on Monday, everyone saw titties.

[01:11:39] And it was the best, the happiest lunch table I think I've ever been a member of.

[01:11:44] That is pretty good.

[01:11:45] And I respect that.

[01:11:46] Pretty cool.

[01:11:47] Oh, fuck.

[01:11:48] Well, anything.

[01:11:49] Anyway, I think we should probably should wrap this shit up.

[01:11:51] Yeah.

[01:11:52] You want to say anything you want to plug my guy?

[01:11:54] No, I don't think so.

[01:11:56] Go to Stavi.biz.

[01:11:57] I'm on tour all over this motherfucker.

[01:12:00] Come see me coming up fucking in one week Tampa.

[01:12:04] I'm going to Japan tomorrow.

[01:12:05] Oh, are you nice?

[01:12:06] So if you're there, don't ask me to hang out because goodbye Adam.

[01:12:11] Bye.

[01:12:12] I'll never see you guys again.

[01:12:13] That's the show.

[01:12:14] Thank you.