[00:00:00] We're going Adams looking in child pornography. My fault. Wait, my head. My

[00:00:07] headphones are known. Your dick is small, Harry. Turn my headphones in. They should be on.

[00:00:13] I'm a three. No, we're not asking how big everyone's dick is. No, I'm on channel three. No. Well, you are, but we aren't asking your headphones.

[00:00:25] Not on still. Can you not hear anything? I can't hear shit. Take that. Give me that. Take, take, no, just give me the cord. Pull it out from here.

[00:00:33] Okay. Okay. And then we'll try this again. How about that? Nothing. Dude, are the headphones broken now too? Maybe they're not by all new shit. And it's immediately fucking broke, bro. Let me try this.

[00:00:50] Can I hear it? I can't hear anything. So the channel's off. The channel is not off. Oh, I can hear. You can hear that. Yeah.

[00:01:00] I can't hear that. The channel, the channel is not off Adam. It's the headphones. The headphones. No, here we go. Yeah. Oh, the button on the headphones was off. No, the mix, the mix is set to A, even though it was, I guess I had to reset the mix. Yeah, for ash cheeks.

[00:01:19] I thought that the mix should have been reset. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Yes, I do. The fucking individual channels don't go to the headphones. They go to this thing.

[00:01:28] I know we're listening to a master right now. God damn it. I'm not listening to Adam did text me about the mix. He said it should be reset. Adam said to be fair Nick, he did text.

[00:01:39] The mix should be every come from the guy at YMCA in his ass at once. That's cool. He's like, I'm at the YMCA right now.

[00:01:46] Every come from one guy and then every come from every guy at the end. You didn't say that. You said from the guy. All right, we're going to, you got an attitude.

[00:01:53] We're going to put you on. We're going to put you. Oh, you're on time. We're putting you a little time out to you. Well, you just said didn't come through the headphones.

[00:02:03] To adjust your little your little attitude problem. Adam is saying some funny stuff in terms of being but hurt right now guys. I'm not but hurt. You're a faggot.

[00:02:13] Adam. Oh, nice Leo's about to get head for what? Amy Adam. You say I'm a faggot? No, that's not the line. You're a very bad.

[00:02:23] Oh, what? Yeah, I'm a what? I'm a what? You're a faggot.

[00:02:30] I'm a what? A faggot. Yeah, you guys like Harry Potter. Don Don Don Don. My dick is fucking small. You guys are listening to Harry Potter. What about Harry's penis? That's a good one.

[00:02:51] I was I would have said Harry penis, but I feel like that's been done. You're a bitch. You're a bitch. You're a bitch. I have Harry. Whoa, you're a bitch.

[00:03:01] Harry. Damn, we're watching. Catch me if you can. Oh, yeah. He's a lawyer and a doctor right now. Yeah, there's a little black child with his shit. Is that buster from a rest of development? No. There's another bald guy. Oh, I'm sorry.

[00:03:17] Fucking idiot don't you dare don't you dare fucking I see you guys as different people

[00:03:27] Everywhere I go everyone's like hey, I love a rest development

[00:03:31] Do you know fucking do you know will Arnett? He's like a nurse in the sopranos like one scene is he yeah?

[00:03:38] Who else is in there Lin-Man? Well, how about?

[00:03:41] Gasex Ram about hard art are not hard our cat one of the our cat family

[00:03:47] Instead of being trans they turn it's like yeah, they don't they don't have a invite me to stuff

[00:03:55] He's the black yeah brother of the art of the our cats and as they call them hard hard our cat

[00:04:01] Okay, yeah, is he adopted

[00:04:05] is it

[00:04:06] Sure man

[00:04:08] Is it kind of like Mia Pharaoh's black daughter? Yeah with your call she Googled Mia to oh

[00:04:14] Me to a Pharaoh me

[00:04:17] me to

[00:04:22] Me too, and he's going into a few state

[00:04:27] Eyes are rolling back so I had some eggs Benedict. Oh, yeah. Oh you did a brunch

[00:04:32] Yeah, we've been just stacking these episodes on we have we had them at the man to go on a girls trip together

[00:04:38] Adam's going on a completely unnecessary vacation

[00:04:40] So instead of us just keeping right before I was on the road

[00:04:43] Yeah, now we have to record I told you guys told you guys about this in November instead of just we had a lot of

[00:04:49] Forwarning and I said I wasn't replacing him in keeping the regular schedule

[00:04:53] To lower the quality of no, that's not true the shows have been good so Adam can come here shows have been very

[00:05:08] He knows you're soaking you're wearing your headphones over your hoodie, which seems like a statement

[00:05:13] It's not a statement in the statement is I am gay

[00:05:30] What a cool statement

[00:05:36] This is what I'm talking about this bad

[00:05:38] No, this is like a kid on the playground you're like no, like nice shoes faggot

[00:05:43] Everyone's laughing at him. He's like yeah cool laugh. I guess the way everyone laughs at me

[00:05:48] Yeah, that is sure and then you're bombing it yeah, then we're like yeah, it is a cool laugh

[00:05:52] We're laughing at him a nice laugh laughing at you like that kid you're being laughed at I

[00:05:58] Said something

[00:06:00] Emotional to the boys it was called a faggot for a

[00:06:02] Boisian I open up to you prior to the show and I shared I shared my soul with you

[00:06:09] Both of you said you're fucking fat. Yeah, and then let's hit record

[00:06:16] And now I have to come into it as a professional

[00:06:19] It's not fair because we can't discuss what you said no

[00:06:22] It's fine

[00:06:24] Disgusting because it just we don't have to discuss it

[00:06:26] But people know our relationship is real off mic to this way, you know yeah

[00:06:30] Because we were having but it's unfair of you to bring it up when we can't discuss it because we want to clarify

[00:06:36] No, why do you have to play?

[00:06:38] Clarification you got your feelings, sir, because we were calling you a faggot or whatever and it's not that you are faggot

[00:06:43] You're being a faggot and that's I'm not being a faggot

[00:06:50] Yeah, I just wanted to clarify that's okay, thank you. Thanks. That's clarifying Nick

[00:06:55] That makes me feel better. You're welcome now. We hit record. Yes

[00:06:59] Wow

[00:07:05] How you got a little double up on it at the top

[00:07:12] To I really like this as a move what's that two

[00:07:15] No, no, just a quick double up. Oh, this is a tone riff now

[00:07:35] Well, that cheered me up. Yeah, I did it

[00:07:39] Yeah, it's better now. We're sucking on my cock and balls cheer you up. Clearly not stop rose and do it

[00:07:44] You don't sure you

[00:07:46] Pretend it's the mistletoe

[00:07:52] Chris, it's your favorite

[00:07:57] Stop it he's sucking it like a penis

[00:08:00] We're not even Christian Adam. Where did you you brought the mistletoe they gave out mistletoe at school and he can't stop sucking it

[00:08:15] Yeah, no, I'm like completely post comedy where any of it has to make sense. I love that dude. Yeah, right? You just say to people like nice hat

[00:08:33] Where'd you get at the store? Yeah, dude?

[00:08:35] Where'd you go to target would you get that at the fucking store?

[00:08:39] Would you do buy that somewhere you go to the mall hit up lids lids where they having a sale?

[00:08:44] Yeah, I always wanted to be a hat guy even when I had hair, but I could never put I just had a hat guy

[00:08:50] Your head is so big. I have a well. That's not what I'm saying. There's plenty of fucking hats my size

[00:08:55] I'm just saying it just makes your head even bigger. No again. That's not what I'm getting. What's your are you an eight?

[00:09:01] I would say I'm a seven and some big-ass

[00:09:05] I'm seven and a quarter. I'm seven and three quarters

[00:09:08] Oh, we remember that we measured all of our skulls. Oh, no, that was during one of your meetings

[00:09:15] I don't think I was quite as interesting because it's like my head is bigger than yours and stop said is bigger than mine

[00:09:21] Mm-hmm. What's like a Russian we're like a Russian what you would think that his there are heads would be the same size

[00:09:27] But I'm actually smarter than you are and stops because I was the smartest

[00:09:31] I see where you're gonna try and do here

[00:09:34] Skeletally, I'm very smaller than I know you could feel his skeleton

[00:09:37] There's a lot of fat on the giant skeleton. You know your head is really yeah the skeleton of your head is large

[00:09:44] Okay, but a lot of a lot of you should start wearing like shirts that come all the way up to your cheeks

[00:09:49] Mmm, so just the frame it yeah the dome

[00:09:52] Like a little ice cream shining the top of an ice cream cone that would be cool some of the dumbest people

[00:09:58] I know you know I'd even you and then have a harmonic

[00:10:00] Not even just a harmonica that's attached by one of those things. Oh, I know those things. Yeah, Bob

[00:10:05] I like to put it no stop stop like a Bob not stop

[00:10:10] Dude don't do this

[00:10:13] You know like Bob

[00:10:14] Stop it cut his mic if he says don't like Bob Evans

[00:10:21] I'm getting one of those shut up. Can I finish?

[00:10:25] Was your attitude problem today? I don't have an attitude

[00:10:29] Goddamn, it is like Bob Evans. Let me finish

[00:10:31] It is like Bob Evans because I have the harmonica thing, but I put a fucking roll of sausage in there from Bob Evans

[00:10:38] Right a piece of corn piece of corn eating corn little thing a ham. Yeah, and it rotates it rotates

[00:10:44] That's an idea. Yeah a corn thing and then you could slide it like a typewriter

[00:10:49] So you could eat like from side to side and around and it and when you do it when you go when you go to chew

[00:10:55] And then it's your chings and then it really you one comes out unbolle somehow somehow and I don't I haven't figured this part out

[00:11:01] But when you're done it will be replaced with a new item of we can probably get money from like

[00:11:06] From like some sort of wounded warriors charity so that troops that don't have arms could eat

[00:11:13] There could eat corn on their own. You know, there's a good solution for people that actually need it and

[00:11:19] People like you I kind of want to once the technology there

[00:11:23] I'm gonna man who was one of my arms wink wink in an accident and get fucking get a robotic

[00:11:29] Bionic get taxes like that guy. They wanted to be a pony

[00:11:34] Sure. Yeah, that would be cool

[00:11:36] What are they gonna have robotic Cox is the real question it Martin Sheen?

[00:11:40] It wouldn't feel it's good. What if it did? What if they figured it out?

[00:11:43] Just imagine he's getting off you put it though

[00:11:45] You're working at the end of the day here and just going up into the hills to have sex with children

[00:11:50] Martin Sheen Martin Sheen

[00:11:52] That's what yeah, I call him Martin Estebes

[00:11:54] Why am I a milio's Emilio's mom. I think Latinos should be allowed to have white names. Nope

[00:12:02] Not Irish names. That's for damn sure that's true

[00:12:07] Wait, he's not an estimate. I thought Emilio is estimate

[00:12:10] They're all estimate Emilio is the only ones didn't use the name Sheen because he rejected the mullet station

[00:12:16] You think they they fucked him didn't fuck him or they did fuck him

[00:12:20] Well when they found out he got mighty ducks. They were like it's time to change the name

[00:12:24] You know you're gonna be around all these hot pieces of ass on your new movie

[00:12:28] And he kept us to best well, I thought I suppose his mom's name

[00:12:33] They're all named estimates even the old one. No, I think his name is Martin Estebes. Who's Martin's dad Harry

[00:12:42] Joey Coco DS

[00:12:45] No, isn't there an older Sheen no, it's Jim Joey Coco

[00:12:49] Yes, Jim Sheen. No, hold on. He's oldest. Oh, no, that's Michael Douglas's dad. I'm thinking yeah, that's Kirk Douglas. Okay

[00:12:58] Really so Martin is named Martin Estebes is it Martino Estebes? Probably it's Martin Estebes

[00:13:05] Martin Martin Martin in Mexico

[00:13:08] Michicana

[00:13:09] Yeah, it is Martin. That's cool. I like that because it's the same letters, but it's a different name. That's what they call the

[00:13:16] Martin Lawrence show Martin Martin

[00:13:19] I'm a Jenna. That means Gina get them out of here, man

[00:13:24] Fucking payments boss did y'all okay Gina

[00:13:29] Get that fucking don't face be spam out of here, man

[00:13:32] Tommy get this also stupid

[00:13:36] Get to the stepping

[00:13:39] Call you idiot

[00:13:42] Youta call a

[00:13:44] A bro, man, get out of my house. Yeah, please

[00:14:01] My gosh, there is no sue cosa

[00:14:04] Fuck damn I watched the Paul Schrader movie hardcore last night. Yeah, is there pussy? Oh Adam

[00:14:13] Did you want to oh no, I'm just familiar? Okay? Did you want to love it?

[00:14:17] You're familiar whose Paul Schrader?

[00:14:20] No one's off

[00:14:22] He's the guy that wrote

[00:14:24] Resist good mother is this I know one yeah

[00:14:37] He drove around your

[00:14:39] First-person and taxi driver. Yeah, you've directed first reform. That's fucking cool

[00:14:43] But I always love when somebody's written something in the past. I might actually for example after pretending to breathe heavily that was yeah

[00:14:51] I'm dying from acting

[00:14:57] For taking the piss that's acting is killing you were taking the piss out of the dedication to act of the craft

[00:15:02] Yeah, okay, I'm pretending to be Adam being gay. They really took the piss out of

[00:15:08] Nick was attempting to steal my

[00:15:10] Boris Johnson really had the piss the piss taken out of him. We sucked all the piss out of his

[00:15:16] cock That's where it comes from. Yes, that was the most embarrassing thing that could happen

[00:15:22] You have a man suck all the piss out of your my sketch comedy group. No books on Charles

[00:15:27] Not my piece really did a send up and sucked all the piss out of the penis of the Tories

[00:15:35] They've got not a drop of peace left in this guy sucking a man's dick, but like swag

[00:15:40] Like taking from a hose take that faggot

[00:15:47] Your piss has been taken by the comedy Pimpa now

[00:15:58] Yeah, that mean honestly that was a good one so he wrote taxi driver and first reform time and a lot of other

[00:16:04] Do you want to describe what happens in hardcore? No Nick cool? Yeah, go ahead. I gotta piss anyway

[00:16:09] No, let me piss and then you could talk to the soft you're being you and I want to see an attitude adjustment

[00:16:19] Adam's fucking trying to flip it. They're trying to play some judo. He's well the first part. Yeah

[00:16:27] So true

[00:16:28] So how was hardcore is there is it about getting pussy?

[00:16:32] No, I was just gonna say Peter boils in it. It's like he has the worst hair probably of any

[00:16:38] It's Peter boiled the dad from everybody loves Raymond. Yeah, but he looked like that even went

[00:16:43] I mean, he just looked like a younger we was Frankenstein in in young

[00:16:48] But his hair is fucked up. Yeah, it's got the horseshoe

[00:16:51] But like all the way back respect and then where it starts. It's still like it's like his neck

[00:16:56] Well, he's still like going hair, you know, so it's like

[00:16:59] You know, it's a funny look cuz people dudes would do that back then I wish dude if I wish I had the horseshoe

[00:17:05] Yeah, God fucked me up and I have fucked up patchy bullshit

[00:17:09] Baldness, I think a lot of guys had that and they would shave the top and just go horseshoe. No, you don't

[00:17:14] Shave a horseshoe. Yeah, I think you that looks so stupid like Pat it starts to grow in it is like no

[00:17:20] It doesn't make sense that somebody would be completely smooth and then horseshoe. Yeah, my dad was completely smooth in horseshoe

[00:17:26] A lot of old Greek motherfuckers are completely really yeah, their skin is weird. It's feels dead

[00:17:31] It's all like it feels like an old lady skin. Yeah on the top although smoother and shiny horseshoe haircut

[00:17:38] Dude, of course brother. This this this shows how little you understand about the bald community right here, dude

[00:17:44] Okay, this is like this is like fucking talking about how you don't understand black people's hair. Oh damn

[00:17:50] This is crazy when you google horseshoe haircut you get a lot of this which is that sucks. Yes

[00:17:54] That's the for everyone wondering what Nick showed me was a guy with his horseshoe, but it's in the front of his hair

[00:18:00] They cut it in

[00:18:02] Damn close such a classic look I want that I want a horseshoe dude though

[00:18:07] Imagine if I had a horseshoe with a ponytail with no tooth. Yeah, come on dude. That would be very funny

[00:18:12] That's what I dreamed up and I'm gonna get it too soon and a and I'm not gonna have the fucking baldness to go with it

[00:18:18] Like Picard would have what a hairline Picard had it was a handsome man. Yeah

[00:18:24] Did you fix your attitude problem?

[00:18:26] No, I thought you were gonna fix yours when I was in the bathroom now

[00:18:30] But maybe I'll go to the bathroom. It's just so funny if you google hairstyles for balding men just pictures of Brett Gellman comes up

[00:18:39] Yeah, I do like when people are just like fuck it

[00:18:42] No, I'm cool that my hair starts in the half of my head

[00:18:45] Yeah, where they you start to comb over like they were they'll spike it but it only goes to the fucking that's cool

[00:18:51] Do getting liberty liberty spikes all around the sides. Mmm. Punks. Oh

[00:18:57] That bad, bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad I want to suck opinion like you start to go bald

[00:19:04] Fuckin people were like fucking Jason statham. That's me. Dude

[00:19:08] People stop me on the streets are like boy. Are you Jason statham? This is a great haircut that

[00:19:14] That rules. Yeah. That's like the

[00:19:18] fucking the hawk. The hawk. The

[00:19:21] bird. Yeah. Bird is the word.

[00:19:25] Bird turd. Eddie turds. Oh fuck.

[00:19:28] Is he about to snitch on Chris

[00:19:31] walking? His dad? Is that his

[00:19:34] dad? No, his dad holds it down

[00:19:37] for him. Oh, his dad holds it

[00:19:38] down. I don't know. It's a

[00:19:40] fellow film flam man. So rock

[00:19:43] me if you dick suck me if you

[00:19:44] dig to to mice. I want to be an

[00:19:48] actor dude. It seems awesome.

[00:19:50] Too about a career. Yeah, we

[00:19:51] should all just transition and

[00:19:52] being movie stars. I would

[00:19:53] love that. I'm sick of this.

[00:19:55] Adam. I don't know. They've

[00:19:57] got enough. I can act. I got

[00:19:59] enough guys that look exactly

[00:20:00] like that. You know that I've

[00:20:01] got range. You know I'm a

[00:20:02] triple threat. So many of you

[00:20:03] dude. What do you mean so many

[00:20:05] of me? Guys that look exactly

[00:20:06] how else stops the novelty. I

[00:20:08] can do impressions. Okay. Who

[00:20:09] else classically handsome man

[00:20:11] who can girls facial hair in

[00:20:13] weird ways. Okay. He's that's

[00:20:15] that's oh so there's no there

[00:20:17] no I can play POWs. There's no

[00:20:19] classically. Until Woody Allen

[00:20:20] dies. You're not you know what

[00:20:22] I can do a movie where I don't

[00:20:24] speak a single line. I'm just

[00:20:25] eating like rat shit and a

[00:20:27] bamboo hut. Yep. With chopsticks.

[00:20:30] Yeah, you can give me an Academy

[00:20:31] award for that. Let me look up

[00:20:33] right now. I'm going to look up

[00:20:34] Jewish actor. Okay. First of all

[00:20:35] hundred guys that look like

[00:20:37] okay. Who looks like me who

[00:20:39] looks like me in Hollywood

[00:20:40] that's you know I'm not going

[00:20:42] to say that. I'm not going to

[00:20:44] say that. I'm not going to do

[00:20:45] that. He's going to say Michael

[00:20:47] Fassbender and army hammer.

[00:20:51] Besides those two guys. Who

[00:20:53] looks like me. Well that's

[00:20:56] you still have a fucking attitude

[00:20:58] problem. I'm sick of your

[00:20:59] attitude. Whatever. I'm not

[00:21:01] okay. It's a snowstorm that is

[00:21:03] my natural element. I went out

[00:21:04] and I got some snow. It was

[00:21:05] lovely. I tried my mustache.

[00:21:07] You were inside being afraid

[00:21:09] of it. I was not inside. I was

[00:21:11] clutching your menorah afraid of

[00:21:12] the hour. That's not true. I was

[00:21:14] out there. You know I was

[00:21:15] running surrounded by owls.

[00:21:18] Well the flurries. Well the

[00:21:21] hot. Just hold a sucking each

[00:21:26] one of the candles. That's not

[00:21:34] true. It's true. You know I was

[00:21:37] out and about today. You know I

[00:21:38] was running errands. No I had to

[00:21:40] drop off. I had to drop off

[00:21:43] someone. No I had to drop off

[00:21:45] someone in Manhattan who's very

[00:21:48] special. Very special to me.

[00:21:51] Shut up. Well you had to drop off

[00:21:53] a guy's penis. Yes it was a guy's

[00:21:55] penis. The penis sitting in the

[00:21:57] pastor's seat in his car. He's

[00:21:58] buckling it in and kissing it.

[00:22:03] It's got a little blanket. Yeah

[00:22:06] and I was talking to the penis.

[00:22:07] I said you know I didn't plan on

[00:22:09] anything like this happening but

[00:22:10] it just happened. It just happened

[00:22:12] and I'm not I don't usually date

[00:22:13] severed penises but I like it's

[00:22:15] not like I'm a fetishist but

[00:22:16] you feel praise on severed

[00:22:17] penises but I just like you fit

[00:22:19] right into my ass. I just like

[00:22:21] you. I like who you are. This

[00:22:24] isn't who I am. A man's penis.

[00:22:26] Damn. This is this would stop

[00:22:28] things. I don't think I look at

[00:22:30] that. I don't think I look like

[00:22:34] that. I think I look harder than

[00:22:36] that. I do look hotter than that.

[00:22:40] That's what you look like. I

[00:22:42] don't think you can listen. You

[00:22:43] can mock my actual page but don't

[00:22:45] you dare try and take my mind.

[00:22:47] What's going on in my beautiful

[00:22:48] mind. This is way for me. We know

[00:22:50] about your mind and we know what's

[00:22:52] inside of it. What I think I look

[00:22:53] like and what I do look like.

[00:22:55] It's just a beautiful little fat

[00:22:56] man. That's what I am. I'm not

[00:22:59] that guy with his fucked up goatee

[00:23:01] and then there's no there's no

[00:23:03] gleam in his eyes. There's no

[00:23:05] magic. There's no spark which I

[00:23:07] have in spades. What are you looking

[00:23:11] up? No that's what I think I look

[00:23:13] like. That's what you think. It's

[00:23:15] so funny too because he's got

[00:23:16] clearly on the hike in some like

[00:23:18] beautiful forest or whatever.

[00:23:20] He's like I got to take a picture

[00:23:21] of this. I better get in the

[00:23:23] picture. Well whatever I'm hotter

[00:23:27] than that guy. No no you just

[00:23:29] got more charisma but you're

[00:23:30] objectively less hot than that.

[00:23:32] No first of all I have more

[00:23:33] charisma but I am hotter than that

[00:23:35] guy. No dude if you were if you

[00:23:37] had that guy's personality because

[00:23:39] you can tell by his personality

[00:23:41] sucks but if he looked like you

[00:23:42] he'd be doing way worse. I don't

[00:23:44] know. See no I don't think so.

[00:23:46] It's true. I know. First of all

[00:23:48] my skin is better than his. No it

[00:23:50] is. No yes. Don't talk and say

[00:23:53] that with your fucking splotchy

[00:23:55] ass. I'm just looking at your

[00:23:56] skin. It's not bad. It's just not

[00:23:58] bad. It's beautiful. All of it.

[00:23:59] It is beautiful. You could be a

[00:24:01] little bit more olive for a

[00:24:03] Mediterranean. Well when it

[00:24:04] cut. See me in the summer time

[00:24:06] brother. Yeah I guess you do.

[00:24:07] I get a nice little tango. Do

[00:24:08] you want to go to tanning booth

[00:24:10] with me? I also have no I also

[00:24:12] have a lot longer eyelash. It

[00:24:13] would be so funny to see stop

[00:24:15] in the tanning booth and he's

[00:24:16] just leaking out of the sides

[00:24:17] and it doesn't close all the way.

[00:24:19] It's just much more much matter

[00:24:20] people to me have tanned. Stop

[00:24:23] gets a sticker of like a play

[00:24:24] boy bunny. He's just sitting in

[00:24:26] there just looks like it just

[00:24:28] looks like an open face sandwich.

[00:24:30] Oh just a panini.

[00:24:34] That's my favorite part when the

[00:24:35] melted cheese spill over. Yeah.

[00:24:37] That's delicious. Yeah. That's

[00:24:39] the sick. Fuck I would love a

[00:24:41] panini. I'm hungry dude. Dude

[00:24:42] paninis are great. I went to

[00:24:43] Panera bread. The other. It's

[00:24:45] like bread in here. Yeah. Do you

[00:24:46] have bread in here? No you're

[00:24:47] sitting a part of the garbage.

[00:24:49] You're having a heart. I threw

[00:24:50] out a salad that had been sitting

[00:24:51] uncovered in the fridge for a

[00:24:53] week and a half. Maybe that's

[00:24:54] what I'm smelling. Yeah. And so

[00:24:56] it's it's rotting. Oh actually

[00:24:58] yeah that it's rotting Caesar

[00:25:00] dressing is what you're saying.

[00:25:01] No you know I did catch a whiff.

[00:25:03] Yeah. But every third whiff is

[00:25:05] good. Yeah. Two are horrible.

[00:25:07] Yeah I'm curating a smell in here.

[00:25:08] I was also smoking a pipe in

[00:25:10] here. Oh nice. Yeah. Now that

[00:25:12] I'm a alone completely. Yep. I

[00:25:15] can continue doing the things I

[00:25:16] was already doing. When someone

[00:25:19] else was here. Yeah. Thank you.

[00:25:23] Thank you for clarifying Adam.

[00:25:24] Martin Sheen doesn't even know

[00:25:26] that leaves a criminal. I thought

[00:25:29] I thought he's like I'm my name is

[00:25:31] Carl Hanrady and I just wanted to

[00:25:35] let you know your friend Frank is

[00:25:37] mentally retarded. The hell are

[00:25:40] you talking about what was Martin

[00:25:42] Sheen sound like I'm Martin Sheen

[00:25:44] and I'm gay. I'm the president that

[00:25:46] I'm gay. Now that's it just

[00:25:49] turns into Christopher Lambert.

[00:25:51] I'm gay. I became president so

[00:25:55] that I could hide my homosexuality

[00:25:58] from the kurgen. Again. That's

[00:26:02] all right. We've got it. We've

[00:26:04] come. I don't know how many more

[00:26:05] times I have to make this clear

[00:26:07] to kill you. I don't care that

[00:26:10] you're gay. Yes. The clock. I

[00:26:12] didn't weird. Look. Well just gay

[00:26:14] together that has nothing to do

[00:26:16] with the Highlander stuff. I've

[00:26:19] just talked you in to having

[00:26:20] gay sex with me. I'm confused.

[00:26:25] So what do I even want? What's

[00:26:26] the quickening again? That's not

[00:26:29] when a man sucks. No. That's when

[00:26:31] we kill each other and there's

[00:26:32] lightning. So what is it when you

[00:26:35] put your penis in my ass to get

[00:26:37] power? No it's not for I'm not

[00:26:40] getting power. It's not even

[00:26:41] mortal. Do this. In fact I stole

[00:26:46] it from them. The gay sex and

[00:26:52] the

[00:26:54] man. I'm not getting anything.

[00:26:57] Yeah. Wait a minute. You've

[00:27:00] you're telling me. I've been

[00:27:02] doing gay shit for 300 years for

[00:27:05] no reason. What I wanted to get

[00:27:07] pussy this whole time. Well I

[00:27:10] thought you liked it. I'm glad

[00:27:12] the kurgen is going to kill you

[00:27:15] and I don't want to be alive much

[00:27:19] more myself. Oh geez. I wanted

[00:27:22] to be a gay sex man. I don't

[00:27:24] want to be a gay sex man. I don't

[00:27:26] want to be a gay sex man. I don't

[00:27:28] want to be a gay sex man. He

[00:27:30] fights highlanders and rapes them.

[00:27:32] Yeah. You know I mean they don't

[00:27:34] want to live after that. It's

[00:27:36] 300 years of rape. How are you

[00:27:38] going to process that drama? You

[00:27:40] live forever. What are you going

[00:27:42] to do? Start a family and watch

[00:27:44] them die and remember the 500

[00:27:46] years you were raped by some

[00:27:48] weird Scottish Scottish Scottish

[00:27:50] Spanish pimp. Oh fuck dude. Fuck.

[00:27:56] I want to watch. I want to

[00:27:58] watch. You know what I want to

[00:28:00] watch? Highlander the TV series.

[00:28:02] Yeah with Adrian. What's his

[00:28:04] name? Grenier. No. The

[00:28:06] highlander from the TV series.

[00:28:08] That guy's way cooler. He's

[00:28:10] legitimately cool. Yeah. I

[00:28:12] remember. Okay. He's me by the

[00:28:14] way. No. That's me. That's

[00:28:16] me. First of all, that's me. That's

[00:28:18] me. It's me. He's trying to silence

[00:28:20] me and let's all come on. He's

[00:28:22] me. He's me. He's me. He's me.

[00:28:26] He's me. He's me. He's me. He's

[00:28:28] me folks. You're listening to He's

[00:28:30] Me. I'm the guy from the show and

[00:28:32] no one else is. And we're back.

[00:28:34] And nothing discussed prior. It's

[00:28:36] filed away. You want to hold

[00:28:38] on. It's the truth. Fine. No.

[00:28:40] That's not true. It's already

[00:28:42] filed away. It's true. That's

[00:28:44] not filed away. But we can put

[00:28:46] an image. Yeah. So that's

[00:28:48] what I'm saying. And we're

[00:28:50] going to be doing this in the

[00:28:51] past. Yes. We'll put a pin in it.

[00:28:53] I want to discuss something. You

[00:28:55] know, when I shared previously on

[00:28:57] the show that when I was a little

[00:28:59] kid, I always assumed I looked

[00:29:01] cool like John Stamos or like a

[00:29:03] rockabilly guy. One of the guys

[00:29:05] in that portmanteau of who I

[00:29:07] thought I looked like was the

[00:29:09] guy from highlander. Yeah, it's

[00:29:10] so funny. Because I had my head.

[00:29:12] I'm like, but you were bald.

[00:29:14] And you're missing it too. I

[00:29:16] I remember being a little kid in the shower and like fantasizing about having a gang.

[00:29:20] Yes, absolutely.

[00:29:21] And as I made my friends in a gang and then I would dress this up and we'd like walk around

[00:29:25] and you know we would form like a line and walk down the street in a line and like it

[00:29:30] was just like leather dad.

[00:29:31] Of course it was like this.

[00:29:34] Like this.

[00:29:35] Like a gang shot.

[00:29:36] Like a chain.

[00:29:37] Yeah.

[00:29:38] A bike chain and people were afraid of a bunch of gay fuck.

[00:29:41] No, that's what like masculinity is presented to like little boys.

[00:29:46] Yeah.

[00:29:47] You don't realize until you're older this.

[00:29:48] Yeah.

[00:29:49] I thought I would have like a leather police officers hat and like a leather vest with

[00:29:53] those sleeves on it.

[00:29:54] I just thought like really honestly.

[00:29:56] No, mine was like I was going to enforce her.

[00:29:59] Yeah.

[00:30:00] You were an enforcer dude.

[00:30:01] I was just I was a star.

[00:30:02] One of the guys.

[00:30:03] I was like a fucking I thought I was going to play like guitar and shit.

[00:30:06] Yeah.

[00:30:07] And being girls were going to throw like Elvis.

[00:30:09] I like Elvis but with also as dangerous as the.

[00:30:12] Oh yeah.

[00:30:13] I had that one too where it's like I ride a motorcycle.

[00:30:16] Yes.

[00:30:17] But I'm also good at math.

[00:30:19] Oh yeah.

[00:30:20] I was going to be a professional wrestler.

[00:30:22] Yeah.

[00:30:23] And I think like football always a different sport every time soccer player soccer player.

[00:30:27] Right.

[00:30:28] Yeah.

[00:30:29] It's so funny that it's like you know, am I a narcissist and then you think they're

[00:30:32] like just the un un fucking mitigated mind of yourself as a four year old.

[00:30:37] This is baby.

[00:30:38] Yeah.

[00:30:39] Of course.

[00:30:40] I'm going to get busy and I'm going to be famous.

[00:30:41] I'm going to be famous but I'm also going to be the smartest guy in the motorcycle.

[00:30:45] But that's just making believe who else who was on your mood board Adam.

[00:30:50] John Travolta Saturday night.

[00:30:54] I wanted to be a king of the disco.

[00:30:57] Some guy named maybe like a famous rabbi.

[00:30:59] I was Tom Jones.

[00:31:02] Oh, I thought he was really cool.

[00:31:05] I thought he was lame because of Will Smith and because.

[00:31:08] Carlton Carlton.

[00:31:09] I like Carlton was on my anti mood.

[00:31:11] I liked him because I found out about him in the movie Mars attacks.

[00:31:16] And I really like that song.

[00:31:18] It's not unusual because of it.

[00:31:20] But yeah, Carl and also did like that song from a man.

[00:31:24] Yeah.

[00:31:25] It's not unusual to get fucked in your ass.

[00:31:29] Inside your ass.

[00:31:30] And when I fuck you and I make you like my son makes me feel a bit better about hanging

[00:31:36] out with your ass.

[00:31:39] About the 500 years I spent with Ramirez.

[00:31:41] It's not unusual to be a rain bus.

[00:31:44] I'm going to read to fill his chest hair rubbing up against your back while he fucks

[00:31:52] you in your little last in your little ass.

[00:31:58] Yep.

[00:32:00] Oh, yeah.

[00:32:02] You squirt.

[00:32:03] Mr. squirt.

[00:32:04] Squirt.

[00:32:05] Squirt.

[00:32:06] Squirt.

[00:32:07] Squirt.

[00:32:08] Squirt.

[00:32:09] Grandma posting her damn, what the fuck?

[00:32:11] And I'm the guy who was flying.

[00:32:13] I will kiss you pussy.

[00:32:14] Let me see.

[00:32:15] Damn.

[00:32:16] I don't think he's got some big titties.

[00:32:18] I would get topped from her no problem.

[00:32:21] Honestly, that's not even a lie for the people.

[00:32:24] Just some bitch trying to go about Ross and getting shit, getting socks for her grandkids.

[00:32:29] Yeah, dude, come on.

[00:32:30] You're like, yeah, when you suck my dick.

[00:32:31] You know what else is on special?

[00:32:33] These two little nuts.

[00:32:34] These two big fat nuts and this little dick.

[00:32:37] they called the mistletoe yeah Adam the Adam's favorite

[00:32:43] Adam loves sucking mistletoe yeah it'd be cool to have a restaurant and then

[00:32:47] one of the menu items is called Adam Friedlin's favorite and it's just a

[00:32:51] sandwich with cum yep and poop on it no one orders I don't like he loves eating

[00:32:56] the way you like come we got him ladies and gentlemen we got him that mean

[00:33:00] you got him I wouldn't eat poop yeah yeah it's not what I like damn are these

[00:33:06] all the girls he got pussy from yeah yeah you got mad so you can just put that

[00:33:10] on the menu you know and you know we're coming in order in it

[00:33:18] that was an accident yeah what is so this part he's a preacher what is he doing

[00:33:22] now he's getting pussy professionally we're watching suck me if you dick if

[00:33:28] you haven't figured that out watching fuck me in the in the pinot pinot pinot I

[00:33:33] thought isn't this for the flight you know I love France man I'm always trying to

[00:33:36] get my P1 my P1 suitcase you can't yeah you shoot you can't shoot K doof

[00:33:45] being a pilot in the fucking 60s so did flight attendants just have to give

[00:33:49] you head back in the day they wanted to they wanted to so bad it's Adam's dream

[00:33:55] yeah is to be a predator sexual predator now but he according to Adam they

[00:34:00] wanted to just like Harvey Weinstein claimed that they were not just as

[00:34:04] wanted they weren't he wasn't saying that if they say he was they could be

[00:34:09] pilots mm-hmm yeah huh they just wanted to fly around the world with him so wait

[00:34:15] Leo's big there was there was an audio of Harvey Weinstein like going up the

[00:34:19] steps and he's like can you can somebody please stop my day

[00:34:25] one of that was gives him power yeah that's why he's weak I just need somebody to

[00:34:29] suck my dick please he should get leeches on his day yeah they should

[00:34:33] train lead they should make they should genetically modify leeches to give you

[00:34:37] head instead of blood they like calm they like come yeah they eat to come but

[00:34:42] they use their teeth you know well that's why I'm saying you gotta tell them

[00:34:46] not to use that's youth you tell them to cover the teeth with their new

[00:34:49] decision how to give good head uh-huh got a hidden when they got a two-thee right

[00:34:54] boys I like I like all my cock gets chomped down you like a nice bitey I like a

[00:35:00] little bit of little grace every once in a while you never know and when I see

[00:35:06] you show me your little pussy it makes me want to fuck a guy sweet ass

[00:35:15] I'm hungry already damn dude he keeps giving him the slip Leo's two fucking

[00:35:25] slick that's why it's called catch me if you can that boy slick he's a slick

[00:35:29] boy he's slick and he gave him a little a little sign and Friday he did he did

[00:35:35] name his handwriting yeah and Jobby what's his name Chet Haze's dad well he said

[00:35:43] dude shout out official shout out I really like I really fucking his vibe

[00:35:49] that was great when people there's like a week where the media was like Tom Hanks

[00:35:52] what do you have to say about your son saying the N word like I don't give

[00:35:55] like ah I can't really answer that I'm obviously ashamed of him yeah you think

[00:36:03] I want this son you think this is the son I want we focus on Colin please can we

[00:36:08] focus on the guy that looks like a little version of an off-brand me but

[00:36:12] skinnier and who's become a very serviceable character act very pretty good not

[00:36:16] a leading man like his dad certainly not but pretty good but all right you're

[00:36:20] never mad when he's on the you're always like you're always like yeah but that

[00:36:25] fades quickly you're like okay okay it's okay it's called thanks

[00:36:28] no speaking of conhanks and oh shit oh shit oh shit oh see or whatever was the

[00:36:34] movie he was in with Orange County with you play he plays the TV show called the

[00:36:40] Valley he plays the Seth Cohen version of Seth Cohen oh you're talking you're

[00:36:45] not talking about those no I'm talking about Orange County the movie he's

[00:36:49] also in the show in the OC for whatever so he has a guess appearance I've been

[00:36:53] watching the OC I have welcome to the OC bitch welcome the OC bitch yeah here's

[00:37:03] what I'm about to say Jack Black why the fuck isn't he playing dr. Robotnik

[00:37:09] why is it fucking Jim Carrey dude it's such a good question the signing movie

[00:37:15] is gonna suck now because it's gotta be a factor it would have been great it's

[00:37:18] gotta be a fat guy and he's the logic don't make it Josh Gad that guy stinks

[00:37:24] I'm not a gadhead honestly I'm about it yeah that guy's all I hate him I worked

[00:37:31] the job and he was on set he seems like a piece of shit to me yeah he does he

[00:37:35] really does have a piece of shit yeah yeah yeah like evil that's a guy that you

[00:37:40] look like Adam yeah you kind of have his voice no I know I don't know a predatory

[00:37:43] dude jean this shit no you got fat you would look at Josh yeah now the thing about

[00:37:51] Josh gets annoying is that he like he has like the aura of like a fat funny guy

[00:37:55] but he's not fake it's fake it's not funny he doesn't have you know why he

[00:37:58] doesn't have love in his heart if he was a care bear he wouldn't have the

[00:38:01] little pink heart he's like sort of he's got like a bitter

[00:38:04] The title you know, and he's not funny. No, you know, he's like hey, it's me. He's deal all's all our mannerisms. Yeah

[00:38:12] See I used to be the fat funny entertainer when I was a kid I was that was me. Yeah, you know

[00:38:18] It's not too late to come back. It gets loose. It gets taken away

[00:38:22] My frame couldn't handle it dude if I gain weight if I get put that kind of way you can have that spirit dude

[00:38:27] I do have that spirit. It's just it's it's mostly. It's been taken away from me

[00:38:31] Yeah, and then and then it's like, you know, it's a grass is always greener sort of thing you get to the other side

[00:38:36] And the light is blinding. Yeah, you're no you're on the dark side, dude. Yeah, sorry

[00:38:41] You're hot and you're malicious. Yeah, you know, I'm not I'm I'm not malicious

[00:38:46] I definitely am self-loathing, but I'm not a fucking malicious person

[00:38:50] That's true, but you do you love you do find bad things very funny not only if I'm not doing them

[00:38:56] Yeah, but if they happen if they happen you don't see the majority of tragedy

[00:39:01] You're like, yes, I see them as a tragedy, but you have to laugh at them because how else are you gonna like I guess is absurd I guess

[00:39:08] But if you were like the Holocaust if like I really gripped the reality of the situation

[00:39:13] It's tragic six million people lost their lives, but more if you think about it as like, you know, they're Jews

[00:39:23] It's just a very funny thing that

[00:39:25] Yeah, because it's absurd I guess that's it's absurd because like and I said I said it

[00:39:30] I said it because it's like because what makes it funny is that it's like, you know

[00:39:34] It's still like racial hatred, but they're annoying so to think that you would genocide somebody for being annoying

[00:39:40] Yeah, it's absurd, but it's very funny

[00:39:44] You know yes like if like if the Chinese killed six million Japanese people because it wouldn't take off their shoes before coming into the house

[00:39:51] Yeah, like that was the justification for that's true

[00:39:54] You see what I'm saying. The Chinese also take this

[00:39:59] And I'm agrees it makes sense if you think about it it makes sense

[00:40:06] Because life's absurd that is true, you know, it's a fucking Adam Adam has to laugh stuff off all the time

[00:40:12] Like what all this all about to say something no I

[00:40:17] Wasn't gonna say anything mean I'm just saying you know I left things off

[00:40:20] But I'm saying is Josh get what's clarified Josh get is a piece of shit

[00:40:26] Yeah, well, he's like he's like he'll never be docular about it seems it seems like he's seething

[00:40:31] You know underneath underneath absolutely. Yeah, he's got darkness in there. There's something in his eyes

[00:40:36] I don't evil and to clarify I have a different type of you're not seething in that sense. No, I just don't I thoroughly

[00:40:43] Want to kill myself with the guy I just I just who's the fat late night guy that fucking son James core

[00:40:50] You don't get is like being a big fat guy where you're the fun guy

[00:40:53] It's like you're you're in a permanent state of ongoing trauma

[00:40:57] And you you've never been on the other sides. You've never had really had time to process it where you're just this tokenized fat piece of shit

[00:41:04] Yeah, it's costing to be the most fun guy in the room

[00:41:08] That everyone's laughing at I would think I understand that more than you do

[00:41:12] We had it we were like in fifth grade my whole life has been like yeah, but you've never you've never gotten a break from it

[00:41:18] Continue, but your mind is still like that. Yeah, but he understands

[00:41:22] Because your experience doesn't change you haven't you don't know what it's like

[00:41:25] I know what it's like cuz I fucking see what other people's lives are like

[00:41:28] Yeah, but you don't know what it's like first-hand for like

[00:41:31] To not be fat and not have people treat you the way they treat you know, I can absolutely

[00:41:36] Extrap okay, well, that's good if you can extract

[00:41:38] It's not cuz it makes you I would rather be in that bliss of not knowing it could be better

[00:41:43] You're not a retard like you're like self-aware. Yeah, you understand it over time you see a bit

[00:41:49] There's a difference between like seeing something and like knowing what the experience is and then actually it would just be people treat me better

[00:41:56] It's the same thing. It's the same thing is like you have money and success now

[00:41:59] Right and that is a market difference from how your life used to be and you couldn't just look at somebody who had money and success

[00:42:07] And be like yeah, I know what that's like I guess but I guess I know I mean the kind of attention you get now

[00:42:13] The way people like talk it's completely fucking different

[00:42:16] It's like completely different in this no way that you could just sort of extract that they would just treat you better

[00:42:21] Is what it really comes down to which read you better and then and then you do get treated better

[00:42:25] And then it's like you can then process how they did it before no, but I get just makes you just makes you feel bad about yourself

[00:42:32] Of course and bad about people but also it makes you feel bad, but you also get the the perks now

[00:42:39] I understand it and people still still treat me like I'm fat

[00:42:43] Do you understand what I'm saying? Like I did you are still fat

[00:42:46] I know but what I'm saying is but I know it could be better and it's annoying that I know that people yeah

[00:42:52] Down a couple percentage points. Yeah, I'm not saying you don't have an ability to like

[00:42:56] Empathize or like you know abstract what a different experience would be but yeah once you're actually in it. It's fun. Mm-hmm. You know, yeah

[00:43:07] I

[00:43:08] Think I think that it's better to be fair personally. Yeah, no everyone yet. You know you

[00:43:14] Never survive you would not you would not be able to add you would absolutely you have to you have to be admired to live

[00:43:20] Everyone looks at me and they're like can you do some sports? Can you lift some things and stuff?

[00:43:25] You know no one asks you that no one asks you that because you're fat no they ask me because I'm stronger than you

[00:43:29] Oh, okay, so they don't ask you. I have a I have a much stronger people ask stop questions

[00:43:34] They're like the door fell off of our house. Can you stand there and block the whole

[00:43:44] Put your ass

[00:43:46] Where the door used to be mmm-hmm. That's the kind of questions

[00:43:49] I get that stuff you do a lot. Yeah, that's why I was late Adam. They ask you they're like listen

[00:43:54] We need somebody to tattle. Yeah

[00:43:57] Yeah, you know, I was molested by the my Jewish music teacher and now I move to Bushwick

[00:44:02] Can I please give you head? You know how many times I have to give an anonymous call into the police

[00:44:08] Because someone doesn't brave

[00:44:13] People ask me questions like

[00:44:15] Like hey, what did you do to grow that beard and then you say you stop shaving your face? Yep

[00:44:21] That's gotta be a very is there another trick to it. Yeah, and it's uh, no just say no

[00:44:27] No, you just don't shave your face. Sorry. That's got to really take a toll on you. It's hard

[00:44:33] It's fucking hard. Yeah, I get that I

[00:44:36] Could see that

[00:44:39] They just don't want to commit

[00:44:41] You know how many times people pay me to go to Costco to return things for them. Yeah, because that line is too stressful

[00:44:49] Yeah, they also don't they know that's me living in my element dude that guy on fucking Twitter that

[00:44:55] Oh my god now that's a guy we can fool

[00:44:59] Like wholeheartedly there is no debate. Yeah, that guy is a pure piece of shit

[00:45:04] That guy just like and do you see someone dug up his old shit?

[00:45:07] He was like that's the only time I've ever been for digging up so much old shit

[00:45:11] Yeah, he went to McDonald's you went to McDonald's and demand they refill his drink with at the drive-through

[00:45:16] Yeah, and they're like no and he called the police on them too. Incredible. Yeah, I wonder well

[00:45:22] Why else do we pay our tax on we think he was Chris? What would you say is he Christian? I don't know

[00:45:27] You think you was

[00:45:29] You had I don't know I'm just get I'm asking genuinely yeah, I guess you know

[00:45:33] We'll just take a look at him and let the chips fall where they make

[00:45:35] I

[00:45:37] Was I'm just naming a couple, you know out of curiosity. We're just making conversation. We're feeling a time Adam

[00:45:43] I love this little snowstorm dude. I'm imagining I'm closing my eyes

[00:45:47] myself and I'm with all my owls. Yeah, it's snowing and

[00:45:52] And then my second you know the other good

[00:45:57] And then I have one last sip of tea

[00:45:59] Mm-hmm before plunging the sword into my stomach. Yep, and then I feel it it burns. It's a sharp pain

[00:46:06] It's unimaginable pain and then my heads cut off. I see so you've done something

[00:46:12] dishonorable no

[00:46:14] No, it's just I've I've reached into my life. There's an honorable

[00:46:18] You know the referees in sumo if they make the wrong call traditionally they're supposed to kill themselves

[00:46:23] I

[00:46:34] Know that they're doing a good job. Yeah, that is one of the best things I've ever heard it's very funny

[00:46:39] So that's why they have it. Oh wait, what the fuck did Leo just

[00:46:44] Yeah, what

[00:46:46] Now this is a crazy movie brother. I'll tell you that much. Yeah, that's fucking crazy

[00:46:52] So they still hold did so back back in the day. They actually used to kill themselves. I guess yeah

[00:46:58] I'm gonna go this time now. It's a good do it last time now what they do is they they have to resign

[00:47:04] They have to like offer to quit their job if they make the bag call that makes and then the resignation is usually declined

[00:47:10] But everything in Japan is like a respect right respect the Congress. Yeah, it is a respect economy actually

[00:47:16] I want to start like a program like a cultural exchange program to send middle-aged black guys to Japan because they would love it

[00:47:23] Every have to get respect every single every single middle-aged black guy deserves a trip to free trip to Japan

[00:47:29] I it's their birthright. It's that's it is. That's their Israel. They

[00:47:34] No one fucking deserves a trip to Japan more than like a guy in a no Pelle Pelle

[00:47:40] Yeah, yeah

[00:47:45] Oh, yeah, dude, right

[00:47:47] That would be awesome, dude. Yeah, just having tea with the emperor. Mm-hmm. I would love that. Yes

[00:47:53] They have to have tea with the emperor. Yeah. Yeah, like I've been trying to tell my son

[00:47:57] He needs to get on this quicks star thing that I'm doing. Yep. The emperor is like he should respect your wishes

[00:48:03] What's going on with the emperor isn't this is like they're they're quitting he's got two fine-ass

[00:48:11] Granddaughters. Yeah, I gotta go quitting to get be piece of ass. I gotta go

[00:48:15] I gotta go sort that out when I'm there everybody's quitting the royal family, dude. Yeah, Japanese

[00:48:20] Markle, you know, they have so much money. Can we steal some of their shit?

[00:48:24] I mean, we don't pay it should be the people paying their fucking salaries

[00:48:28] That's steal their shit, but wait do British people still pay them or is it just yeah?

[00:48:33] They're fucking welfare recipients

[00:48:36] What yeah, they're like fucking a burden on the state

[00:48:40] Are you kidding me? Yeah?

[00:48:42] They still pay their shit. Yeah, I thought it was just accumulated wealth from like, you know

[00:48:47] Indian rubies and they stole and they still pay the taxes go to the royal family

[00:48:51] Are you fucking joking? They technically own all of England. They're the head of state. What the fuck?

[00:48:56] Why is he when letting that shit slide? I don't know, but if I live there, I would be like fuck the Queen fuck the Queen Mike the Queen

[00:49:05] God shave God suck the dick

[00:49:09] Got shaper pussy. God shave shable Elizabeth's pussy

[00:49:14] When my me ma would come in and shave her pussy in the middle of the living room so that it would rain that week

[00:49:21] And we could our crops could grow it's so awesome that no

[00:49:26] But like nobody mentioned she literally just pretended to be a fucking Indian

[00:49:30] Yeah, I mean people mention it but not on like mainstream media and like that fucking that joy and

[00:49:35] Rea job from an actual that joy and read shit is fucking insane. I didn't yeah

[00:49:42] Body language first of all fuck is joy. I'm like what I like to call a female body

[00:49:48] Language inspector. Yeah

[00:49:50] And it's always saying please leave me alone. Yeah, I'm saying go away from me. I'm a human calling the police

[00:49:58] I got I inspect the body the body their bodies to get the language

[00:50:05] Language of no

[00:50:07] Language of no that's not what they're suspecting. I'm not consenting. No, that's all I'm saying it is what there

[00:50:13] So I see what you're saying you're saying verbally. They're saying that but their body language is telling you

[00:50:18] All about the bodies. I see okay verbally. It's like I'm gonna call the police verbally. Oh shit

[00:50:25] Damn

[00:50:26] Yeah, my power is becoming my penis

[00:50:31] Is the most beautiful penis

[00:50:33] In the world in the world in the world

[00:50:36] Can I do the cool? Okay, I guess I don't get the cool voice my

[00:50:41] dick

[00:50:42] He's one of the most gorgeous

[00:50:44] Oh, hold on wait. Oh, that's why hello. Yeah, I took it away from you damn. I know

[00:50:51] God damn it. Oh

[00:50:54] Fuck dude, that's fucked up you get to do that. Yeah, it's cool. I'm jealous as fuck

[00:51:02] You gotta say something for it to write yeah

[00:51:09] I think this is all compressed into a mono tracking

[00:51:12] No, so people aren't hearing this go side to side. We're not in stereo

[00:51:20] No, I heard you say that

[00:51:22] Herr who say what next whispering about me. What are you talking about? You're the only one talking right now

[00:51:29] Nick's mouth wasn't even moving. I'm the devil on your shoulder

[00:51:33] Mm-hmm

[00:51:41] Wait what the fuck I have two doubles that's what you say

[00:51:47] Gangel

[00:51:53] I'm not hearing anything Adam. Yeah, that must just be you do it must be you

[00:51:58] It must be you it's gotta be you

[00:52:04] You are gay and you're angel and devil both think that you're gay, so why don't you suck dick?

[00:52:13] Fuck oh man's asshole and suck dig let him blow into your ass

[00:52:22] Thank you. I'm gay

[00:52:24] Just start shaving my head no dude. Yeah, I think it would be cool with the beard honestly that beard

[00:52:30] That would you look straight white supremacist? No, I don't like the you would look wide

[00:52:34] Adam's jealous of my look and so he wants to make it worse by encouraging me to shave my head

[00:52:38] I'm gonna be so weird. You shave your face. You'd be so much hotter

[00:52:44] You would probably be the beard you jealous of the beer. I'm not jealous of the beer. Yeah, I'm honestly not

[00:52:49] I would look awful with this you would look right at home and a couple neighborhoods in this town

[00:52:55] Yeah, I don't want to go to those

[00:52:58] That's what's interesting you can't grow beard, but all those guys have awesome beers

[00:53:01] Well, I could if I just never share I don't think you could because I have a similar those guys have just like patchy ass

[00:53:07] Nothing's they really don't though some of them do they really have pretty nice beers. Well stuff rose

[00:53:14] I'm saying listen. I'm in the same boat as you brother, but I'm just saying what would I do as a I feel bad for you guys

[00:53:20] It's not it's cool to have a big ass beer. Yeah, be able to grow a big ass beard

[00:53:24] I don't want a big beard, but I would like more options with facial hair. No, I'm telling you you want a big

[00:53:28] We're at least once

[00:53:30] Maybe at least once I'm gonna get I'm gonna grow this shit out real long to but you've done this a couple times

[00:53:34] No, no the only other time I've had a full beard was like when I was 25 and I only grew it out for six months and shaved it off

[00:53:40] Really? Yeah, it was it got to maybe a little bit shorter than this, but I

[00:53:45] Could have swore your ass had multiple beards. Nope. There was one one beard from fucking like

[00:53:52] August of I remember 2014 or 2013 till like fucking January the next year

[00:54:01] Yeah, and it was shittier too. It was it wasn't it didn't fill in it. No for sure

[00:54:06] You had a weird pat it was kind of you had a weird sea captain look going. Yeah, you were that cap everywhere

[00:54:11] This one's nicer though. It is nicer. I will admit. Yeah, you do you know you do continue to improve your facial hair

[00:54:17] Yeah, you know as time goes on I

[00:54:20] Thought maybe I'd have a son by now to show it to him. He could live off of it

[00:54:24] He could live in there eat the crumbs, but now beard now

[00:54:28] I guess I'll I just have to have a student. Yeah for the belay sensei. Yeah, I'll be the sensor

[00:54:35] Yeah, you're the sensor on the master. What's the sensei? What's the we're gonna go to I'm gonna go to

[00:54:39] Spamoni Gardens after this and get a pizza nice nice talk to the Italian guys there

[00:54:44] Nice, dude

[00:54:45] I made the waiter happy last time I was there because I was like what's the difference because they had a shrimp scam or shrimp

[00:54:50] Oh, you go to the restaurant shrimp friends French's I asked him what the difference soon is shrimp or French's and a shrimp scam people was

[00:54:58] That's a very good question

[00:55:00] I

[00:55:03] Love a man

[00:55:05] What is the difference? I don't know like a little more lemon or something. He's like it really doesn't make this

[00:55:09] It's just colloquial. I guess done interesting. Yeah, do you know what a poutanesca means?

[00:55:15] Horse sauce you said it like three times. What's this so you guys know?

[00:55:19] It's Adam's tidbit corner. It's Adams barely related to it's

[00:55:24] Really related he's contributing to the show. It's tangentially related at best with something that he heard and it is

[00:55:39] I think it was rude if you guys to record that song

[00:55:44] So we can play that when it inevitably happens like every week at these ones

[00:55:49] Ducked dude. I got nothing to live for now. If you don't think I'm gonna get hop on the fucking keyboard and put a real song together

[00:55:55] And have that as a drop

[00:56:01] That's where that one's going right there. No, it's not salute not guilty

[00:56:07] You guys watch the Aaron Hernandez document it's so I heard it's really

[00:56:10] Like a lot of things people think he did it because he was Hispanic, but the truth is he did it because he was gay. Yeah

[00:56:19] Yeah from what I can tell is only a real crime was being a homosexual. Yeah, you know

[00:56:22] I mean Aaron had a lot of problems is

[00:56:25] Chief of all was that he was actually gay

[00:56:27] and

[00:56:28] When it's like kind of like maybe it's like the NFL repressed him or whatever and like that repression

[00:56:34] Fucked him up and then made him act out and like probably a CT. Yeah, he did but then it was like and it was also like

[00:56:41] Then they interviewed that one guy. He's like no no Aaron was proud of who he was

[00:56:45] Yeah, it wasn't had any problem with it or whatever

[00:56:47] So it's like so it turned out to just be a regular gamer just a gay ass murder

[00:56:51] Just wait so that is substantia that he was gay. Yeah, well he had like boyfriends and shit

[00:56:57] Yeah, I don't think he was comfortable with that guy Odin his boyfriend

[00:57:00] Who this I thought it that that that's for his dad. No Odin Lloyd the guy that he killed

[00:57:06] I don't know. I don't fucking know what happened at all, dude. I

[00:57:09] Didn't watch but I thought that was the last I was a clip of that fact. I barely I thought that was the brother

[00:57:14] You're Aaron. Hmm. You don't want someone. Hmm. Yeah, me shot that dude in the face and the dude's texting him

[00:57:20] Like I can't believe you did your boy like that

[00:57:24] They're about shooting him in the face. He lost his eye

[00:57:27] He's like you left me with one eye and a bunch of fucked up problems Jesus Christ

[00:57:33] I can't I will never forget that you did your boy dirty like that and Aaron Hernandez is like bro. I love you

[00:57:40] Wait the guy he didn't kill he did it to a guy he shot in the face who like continued being friends of them

[00:57:44] And he like didn't tell the cops. He was like

[00:57:47] Snitch on your friends. Yeah, bro. If you if one of you motherfucker shoots me in the eye

[00:57:51] I'm snitching that's the thing he became paranoid because he was afraid that that guy was gonna kill him

[00:57:56] Hmm. He was for that guy was gonna get revenge

[00:58:00] What she could have he should have dude if you live by the code of the

[00:58:05] Adam shot us in the eye. That would be fucked up. He thought there was a chance to get all of the patreon money from

[00:58:12] Shot us both in the atoms like I'm going away for a trip. We need to re pre-record 4000 episodes

[00:58:17] This was about this is a new riff about you killing us killing us making us

[00:58:25] Pre-record 4000 so you can continue to live out the money

[00:58:28] I'm only recorded to and and you shoot us with your arms are too weak to hold the gun from the recoil

[00:58:35] Your girl on your olive oil arms

[00:58:37] His wiggle when the gun goes off

[00:58:39] Obviously I'd use a purse gun you know that wouldn't kill me and even see to conceive even using a baby's gun

[00:58:46] You're olive oil arms. They don't make guns for baby. They make guns for babies. No, they have you ever heard of stop conny

[00:58:55] His army is using his guns for they're using no, they're using big boy guns

[00:59:00] No, they're not I want to go to it be fun to go to Africa and start a war lord dumb and

[00:59:07] Just a boy army and give actual babies guns

[00:59:10] Mm-hmm. That would be youngest child sold. Yeah, the youngest child soldiers in the world. Everyone's like they're so precocious

[00:59:18] Those kids their kony was sucking their killing

[00:59:23] That's great. That's awesome in in Africa. You can just be Peter Pan. Oh, you think Peter Pan was raping

[00:59:29] I thought that was a part of the movie. Mm-hmm. The movie I guess he probably would in the real world get pussy from Wendy

[00:59:35] Wouldn't have instead of never ever land. It was called

[00:59:37] land

[00:59:38] Yes, what is

[00:59:41] That is a good question. It is a good question. I don't think I don't think it would be as I don't know what you said

[00:59:46] Because you beat so I didn't beep it

[00:59:51] Yes, you did who are the Jonas brothers. They're these three brothers. They're a pop group from their own name Jonas

[00:59:57] No, I think that's their last Jonas Jonas Jonas. Jonas. Jurebco and Jonas. Jonas. Jourbco is Jonas Jonas Jonas Johan. Yeah

[01:00:05] Yeah, I don't know that is

[01:00:07] There's a third famous Jonas Jonas. Jonas Mika's Jonas Saul the film assault

[01:00:12] Who's the guy that did polio Jonas Saul? Yeah, Jonas salt Jonas Rpeko and Jonas Mika's

[01:00:19] Jonas suck my dee-kiss

[01:00:21] Fucking homo

[01:00:25] Hey, man, you're fucking gay. Yeah, you're a bunch of fucking hay man

[01:00:31] Damn, they made Leo look ugly dude. He's cute the hell

[01:00:35] Why is that no, it's just got a bad haircut. Yeah, I don't like that

[01:00:40] I asked a comedian who's from Baltimore the other night. Why why he doesn't have a Baltimore accent?

[01:00:46] He was like because I'm gay

[01:00:48] Damn who was that it wasn't me it was Larry Larry who

[01:00:55] Larry oh, shout out. He's funny as hell. Yeah, I didn't realize from fucking Baltimore. That's crazy

[01:01:00] Yeah, I was like why don't you have the o's and stuff and he's like because I'm gay

[01:01:05] It's such a funny answer. I never met I had no idea who that guy was. Yeah, he's really crazy talented

[01:01:11] Yeah, the black Baltimore accent is different though the o's are it it's like

[01:01:15] Be you see that video those of Baltimore

[01:01:22] Yeah, I dig and shit like that bar in Mexico no, what does it say? Look at the name. It's a keep in mind. It's in Mexico

[01:01:33] Bar scene song it's a picture of Bart Simpson

[01:01:37] It's called bar scene so damn I forgot I can't be able to talk to labor about being from Baltimore

[01:01:46] I was like, yeah, you know stars from there, too. He's like, yeah, I know I

[01:01:50] Love I love be more damn. I got far later was fucking great

[01:01:56] Damn who else is from Baltimore

[01:02:00] Anybody cool

[01:02:02] Barry Levinson. Oh, yeah

[01:02:04] Oh very yet head vinson

[01:02:06] But any surprises because I know all the famous people Carmella Anthony. He's sort of from Baltimore

[01:02:11] But not really he spent some time there. Oh, hey film that stop snitching DVD

[01:02:17] Classic. Yeah, that was awesome. Stop snitching was so funny

[01:02:25] That was so fucking awesome. Yeah

[01:02:28] Don't don't cooperate in a murder and I love that era of just like

[01:02:33] Lo-fi self-put-out

[01:02:35] Movies the people were doing there's really with a camcorder and you just burn it to a demon

[01:02:40] Yeah, kill a season. I've got John. This is the best example of that in my opinion. Well, no, there's also all the good fucking master P

[01:02:48] movies. Yeah fucking

[01:02:51] Fuck what's the best one with kill this season is like the movies you make in middle school

[01:02:56] But it's a master P movie with fucking

[01:02:58] Um, Adam you made a fake african guy made a different kind of movie middle

[01:03:03] Yeah in middle school. It's mostly your neighbor. There's a lot of funny sketches

[01:03:07] No, it's most of your your neighbor sketches hijinks me my friend. He's basement. No, but we weren't at that guy

[01:03:13] You read his house and he was like very good

[01:03:18] Very good. We couldn't okay. You're doing a very good job. Mrs. Adam

[01:03:23] No

[01:03:25] That guy you you couldn't see his camera when you went to such a beautiful slot

[01:03:32] Now i'm like dad daddy's mr. Miles. So may i'm a beautiful slot

[01:03:37] What and he's like I always knew you'd be a star

[01:03:42] Oh, you know what i'm thinking of repos you guys ever see repos

[01:03:45] Repos no with michael blaxon. No, that's a good ass movie

[01:03:50] That movie was so funny. I feel like in fact I believe

[01:03:55] Is he still working who's in it?

[01:03:58] Yeah, oh, yeah, dude. My man is fucking caked up just pretending to be african

[01:04:03] Yeah, that's a good bit. It's an incredible bit. Yeah, it's a really made it worse. Yeah, I know it's true

[01:04:11] Yeah

[01:04:13] Um, lezli jones has a little cameo in that it's a really fun. It's actually pretty funny

[01:04:16] Check check out repos. That's just I rented it from blockbuster

[01:04:22] Because I didn't know how to download shit illegally not that big of a file

[01:04:27] Oh fuck dude

[01:04:30] Oh shit, Tyler perry what movies is

[01:04:34] um the fall of grace

[01:04:36] From grace and i'm sure there's a woman named grace and of course

[01:04:40] Tyler perry plays a lawyer

[01:04:42] I don't I can't understand the movie because there's nobody that looks like me in it

[01:04:45] I'm not represented in either of my stories. So there's no way I could possibly enjoy or understand this movie

[01:04:51] Tyler perry's a fall from grace. There should be a character that's a white man with autism

[01:04:56] Who's sad because games aren't good anymore

[01:04:59] Where's that story if that's not in there then there's no way I can't not relate

[01:05:03] I can't relate to it. It's actually bad. That means it's objectively bad

[01:05:08] That's how I felt when I saw how high

[01:05:10] In fact, I'm gonna I'm gonna watch the movie and see how many times women interrupt men

[01:05:15] Oh, that's but that's take note of that and that's gonna be my measure of whether the movie's good or not. I love that

[01:05:23] I freaking love that mate

[01:05:27] Hmm

[01:05:29] So what are you gonna do in Japan Adam?

[01:05:32] I'm gonna go try to find myself

[01:05:34] Oh, yeah

[01:05:35] Yeah, maybe go to some temples

[01:05:37] Do you mean you're gonna find you go in Japan to find your penis because they have like technology to find smaller penises?

[01:05:42] That's part of the move

[01:05:44] Like they probably have special magnifying glasses. I'm gonna go to

[01:05:48] I'm gonna go to temples in the mountain

[01:05:50] Hang out with monkeys. Are you actually are you staying in Tokyo? Are you gonna?

[01:05:53] I hope you get raped by the monkeys. How funny would that be?

[01:05:57] Yeah, they all have all the bunch of tiny monkeys hold them down and rape them

[01:06:01] That would be funny. That would be really tight. Your friends don't know how to help you

[01:06:06] That would be really scary. There's just people filming it and putting it on world star

[01:06:13] Those are like red and white monkeys. Yeah, they're little white. They go to the hotbeds

[01:06:18] Where's your diet out right now? Do you want a little bite of this pastry?

[01:06:21] Stop trying to change the subject. We're very good. We're coming. We're in the middle of a scene. It's a date

[01:06:26] Oh, you take a bite. You bastard. Yeah, you're luring him. That was smart and it worked luring

[01:06:36] He can't resist

[01:06:40] What a

[01:06:43] Satanic

[01:06:45] Just a devilish movie

[01:06:48] I have to respect it even your move Nick

[01:06:51] I'm gonna retire to my lair and think about this

[01:07:00] He's recoil just disappear into a cave

[01:07:11] It was really good. I do fuck with that shout out to win son bakery. Yeah, he's wind and son

[01:07:17] Yeah, we make a new win son. You lose son. We win some we lose shout out the Asian girls. Let the lights dim some

[01:07:25] Yeah, a famous line from Drake. That's the

[01:07:30] Larnal way

[01:07:33] Valk do this okay

[01:07:35] This fuck sometimes you'll find yourself in a really dark place, but it's okay. The lights have to dim

[01:07:40] That's when the show starts. Oh

[01:07:43] That's true. Did she write? Did she write those? She's you know, she writes all of them

[01:07:47] That's kind of impressive that she is. Yeah, well, it's so funny

[01:07:50] It's because like I guess there's like kids online now

[01:07:53] Who I forget that larnal boy like that was the thing like fucking

[01:07:57] Now like six seven years ago. So there's kids online. They're like 19 now that have no idea who larnal boy is

[01:08:04] And somebody posted that compilation. There's like multiple replies from people that are like is this serious or is she just a really good comedian

[01:08:11] Yeah, they don't they don't get that that was ever somebody they could like

[01:08:18] Did she make money of that? No, no, she's just big old

[01:08:22] Yeah, what's she doing these days?

[01:08:24] Uh, she was on amazing race the Canadian version. Hell yeah, she's blocked me on twitter and I don't know why

[01:08:32] You probably tweeted something really nice about her. Yeah, no, I've never said anything mean about larnal boy

[01:08:37] I mean, maybe nothing you consider me the reason a racers don't work on your heart because who you are and you were born to love

[01:08:44] This is a mistake

[01:08:46] I love her. Honestly, I should get it. Yeah, right. Was she a lesbian? I would guess

[01:08:50] I think she was boy. I think well, I always thought she was like 17

[01:08:54] And then it turned out at the time. She was like 26 years old. Oh, really? Yeah, that's hilarious

[01:09:02] Yeah

[01:09:03] Amazing race Canada season seven bronze medal. That's on her shit. That's her. Um

[01:09:11] What are you called biography

[01:09:14] Or a guy

[01:09:19] The guyography channel

[01:09:21] Remember the biography channel

[01:09:24] You're welcome. So they actually have biographies on there. Oh, yeah

[01:09:28] Mm-hmm

[01:09:29] Coming up on the biography channel. Whoa lorin lavoy was born loran is a bell

[01:09:35] Alexandra san tiago lavoy

[01:09:38] Sexy

[01:09:40] She's a child actress known for barbie the princess and pop or maybe she's voice over. I don't know

[01:09:48] Yeah, it's voice over

[01:09:51] Yeah, if you type in loran lavoy it auto completes loran lavoy eraser

[01:09:55] Damn, maybe I should watch eraser the movie eraser. He raised a eraser. He raised a

[01:10:03] I mean, that's how Arnold says it

[01:10:06] I'm the eraser

[01:10:10] Got the trash is really starting to smell bad now. Yeah, I got to get that outside before

[01:10:15] Before I don't know what the fuck too late is now. Yeah before I turned 40. I guess. Yeah, just anytime

[01:10:22] Damn, you think 30s bad 40s like the fucking like we got time. We got a whole decade, right?

[01:10:26] That shit's like the fucking

[01:10:28] That's gonna be hilarious some of my friends that were 30 and already pieces of shit

[01:10:33] They're in their 40s now that I was friends when I was 20

[01:10:37] And now I guess they're like the same except they're like

[01:10:42] Out like just gone. Yeah, you know, no idea how to use social media. Oh, yeah

[01:10:46] They're like I guess I should have opinions, but I'm gonna choose your bodies are breaking down

[01:10:50] I'm gonna choose the safest ones possible. Yeah, and then I got a friend that's in his 50s and he is racist

[01:11:01] Yeah, he's got it figured out

[01:11:05] 50 20 years

[01:11:06] That's a whole nother 20 rack dude. I got a friend who's in her 60s. She's really no you don't. Yeah, no you don't

[01:11:14] It's not china. It's next mall. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, she's really she a friend or where she considered more of a fuck buddy

[01:11:21] Yeah, it's more of a hookup situation. She says it's NSA

[01:11:27] She says don't kiss me on the mouth. Oh for real. She said that's that makes sense

[01:11:32] She says she's not ready because you're disgusting Jewish little mouth

[01:11:35] Mm-hmm. Yeah. I am holy for pussy

[01:11:44] I'm hungry, but I don't know. There's nothing seems good to eat. I know everything tastes like

[01:11:50] like dust

[01:11:52] Everything is dust in my ass

[01:11:57] Fuck I have shit to do this sucks dude. What do you have to do?

[01:12:00] I have to write a bunch of shit and then I have to fucking do some basketball research

[01:12:05] Yeah for what?

[01:12:08] All right, I have to um this Sam already

[01:12:11] I don't know. I maybe stavras how kiss

[01:12:15] buddy cop vehicle. That's true that they're aiming for we're trying to become a cop. Yeah

[01:12:21] I would love to be stopped. Did you uh eat all the evidence again?

[01:12:24] What?

[01:12:28] Goddamnit detective star rose hate all the damn evidence again

[01:12:33] I'm sorry the donut rapist is really fucking a problem. Yeah. Yeah, we're trying to real hard this over this case, but uh,

[01:12:40] style keeps you

[01:12:44] He's eating all the uh he's ate all the files

[01:12:47] Yeah, well that's gonna do it. That's it. See you guys. We'll see you guys in a couple weeks later