Cum Town | Premium | 02/16/2020
[00:00:00] Okay. Yeah. It's weird. Not having stop. I guess I kind of let him. Good thing started.
[00:00:08] Oh, I can do the stop part if you want. Who's fucking who's fucking hello everyone and welcome
[00:00:15] to a sexual ass come town. It's Valentine's Day. We got filling in for stop fat pussy
[00:00:21] amber on the road on Valentine's Day. Any girls are trying to get raped. Wink wink wink
[00:00:27] as stop is in Plano, Texas having sex and doing stand up. So filling in
[00:00:37] brave bravely. I mean not filling in space space wise but yeah. But filling in on the
[00:00:48] mic is our buddy Amber. Hi Amber. Hi. You're gonna be on a show with us. Yeah, I'm gonna
[00:00:56] take is my mother's birthday the next day. Nice. So yeah. Yeah. We're having a
[00:01:02] Racine give us some good. He sent me the script. Yeah. Yeah. We're a I think you had to cut a
[00:01:08] couple of those jobs. Yeah. I think we're gonna. Yeah. I want him to work in what my
[00:01:12] mob mob name would be which is little pussy but that's a little pussy. Yeah. That's a
[00:01:18] that's a little too Jersey. It's not quite casino. I guess. Yeah. What would your mob
[00:01:24] name be? Was little pussy actually on the sopranos? No, I just think it's cute. Well
[00:01:28] there is a character named Little Pussy that they reference. Really? Because big
[00:01:32] pussy is obviously the rat friend. Yeah. They reference a little pussy. I don't
[00:01:38] remember that. I don't remember that. He's big pussy because there's a little pussy isn't
[00:01:40] there? His son? The one that goes to Villanova? No, no, no, no. Whatever I'm
[00:01:44] taking it. I'm Little Pussy. Yeah. Inautomically and you know. Yeah. Amber has
[00:01:50] actually got one of the smallest pussies. Yeah. It's a medical issue actually.
[00:01:54] Well it's I mean for some men that could be you. You're filling in for
[00:01:59] stop great. Thanks. Abnormally small genital. Yeah. Yeah. That's really all you
[00:02:06] need. Yeah. That's the recipe for success. Yeah. I'll make up a I'll make a
[00:02:10] parody song about it later. Yeah. So we're having a sexual ass Valentine's Day
[00:02:16] of three of us. Nick have you busted today? No. I got my haircut. It looks very nice.
[00:02:24] Yeah. I said that when I walked in. Thank you. And Les Nazi I think. A little bit
[00:02:30] more classic man. A little bit more Jidenta vibes this time. What happened to
[00:02:34] Jidenta? Is he back in Nigeria? He's just brushing his hair somewhere. Trying to
[00:02:38] make it. Trying to make it relax. Some weird take recently.
[00:02:43] Didn't he try to be back in the news? He said something. I can't remember what it
[00:02:47] was but it was definitely exactly what you'd expect from a classic man. He got a
[00:02:53] classic style. It's not this but I'm just vulgar to say he came out in support of
[00:02:58] bride burning. I don't remember what it was exactly but I feel that's like in
[00:03:03] the same kind of territory. Well there was that line in classic man about female
[00:03:08] genital mutilation. Right. That was the extended cut. Yeah.
[00:03:12] On the extent about honor killings. Classic man. You can you can be me if you
[00:03:23] clip the V. I'm a classic man. You can be me if you clip. If you could fuck me if
[00:03:29] you turn 13. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Something like that. Working it out. Yeah. Sorry I
[00:03:35] can't contribute very well. I'm not going to start for everybody. I'm the worst at
[00:03:39] this of the three of us. I can't do it anymore. It's it's not a big thing. See
[00:03:44] lost his power. I don't think that's my power. I think my power is being
[00:03:48] charming. It's one of your charm. It's my ability to charm my way into
[00:03:54] situation. Into flight school. Into flight school in Florida. Yeah. Despite the
[00:04:01] beard. Yeah. Yeah. That thing looks disgusting. What the beard. It's actually
[00:04:05] kind of looking better today. No. It looks better. It looks better because I
[00:04:08] just cut my hair. It kind of looks a little too wet sometimes. Sometimes. Yeah.
[00:04:14] It's food in it. Yeah. But do you oil it? Yeah. You have to because the skin
[00:04:19] underneath will dry out. Yeah. And you get like face dandruff. That happens to me
[00:04:24] with my thick mustache. I have to wax it. I really only have it at a spite at
[00:04:29] this point. Because so many people told you I get I get DMs from people
[00:04:34] they're like bro you need to shave your face and I'll go to their page and they
[00:04:37] can't grow a beard. And it's like yeah I see what you're doing. Yeah. I see what
[00:04:40] you guys started doing. I thought you literally liked it. 2014. A lot of these
[00:04:46] can't grow beard guys. So I've been like actually beards are stupid. Yeah. I'm a
[00:04:51] member of the community and I was doing that in 2014. But it was annoying when
[00:04:56] we moved to New York every single guy. It was before that because I was
[00:04:59] living in Texas for years prior to that and everyone had a beard there. Really?
[00:05:02] Texas style. Texas style beard. Stops down there growing a beard. Can you imagine
[00:05:09] how weird he would look with the beard? Just like an egg poking out of a carton
[00:05:15] and just like level. What's up guys? This is stupid head. He would look like Darth
[00:05:21] Vader when they removed the helmet at the end. And it's all just it's up to
[00:05:25] here. And in this weird bald burned head. Oh God. I should try it. Go for the
[00:05:33] Santa thing. I don't think he can do it. Darth Stavros. It'd be funny if he had
[00:05:39] the force. Can you imagine how much fat he would be if he had the force? Oh my
[00:05:44] God. He wouldn't leave the couch. Just the walls are all fucked up in his
[00:05:47] apartment. It's like what happened. And then there's like a clear path where the
[00:05:51] refrigerator is just like just smashed the wall. It's just it didn't want to get
[00:05:55] off the couch. When just you when the foot was dragging the fridge to him
[00:06:00] dragging the fridge to just smashing into the wall to get fucking grape leaves
[00:06:06] out of the fridge and then putting it back and it's but doing it lazily so it
[00:06:10] knocks over everybody's shit. I'm like I don't know what happened. I don't know
[00:06:15] what fucking happened. I just need your shit. Petey. Yeah. I need to your
[00:06:21] shit from you. Long day. I don't know what happened in the fridge. It just
[00:06:27] reminds me of when the foot was broken and he'd run out of underwear and he was
[00:06:32] just wearing bathing suits. He's wearing bathing suits. And he's sometimes
[00:06:36] nothing at all. And then he had a rolling desk chair that he would use his one
[00:06:41] good foot to move himself around the apartment. He should have given lessons
[00:06:49] to Weinstein prior to the trial. He's like no that's Walker's not enough.
[00:06:55] Just wearing a bathing suit. Nick and I just drove it back from T.C. just unable to
[00:07:05] fucking move his own body making eldest do things for him. Yeah. Eldis who
[00:07:11] was soon. Soon lose use of his own legs. That's gonna be a legless household.
[00:07:16] Like no. Eldis moved in with the GF. Oh yeah. Oh wow. It's the end of an era.
[00:07:23] Stop's going through a breakup. With his bestie from diapers. Well they're both
[00:07:30] still in diapers. From time to time. Yeah it's my friend from diapers. Oh yeah so
[00:07:40] Amber how has been working on the road for Bernie? Very exhausting.
[00:07:45] But you see me exhausted. Yeah I'm very tired but you know he's he's chances of
[00:07:51] him winning or growing by the day. Has he noticed you? Has Senpai noticed me?
[00:07:56] Has yeah Bernie Sanders noticed me challenge 2020? Has it been working?
[00:08:01] I run into him but I met him before he before his run once.
[00:08:06] I'm putting spray paint all over him. He noticed me. Shiny and crow.
[00:08:16] Have you how close have you got? I'm gonna rewatch that movie. The movie sick. Somebody
[00:08:20] tried to say it was bad recently. I can't remember. No but I was like that's not
[00:08:24] that's the wrong one. It was a period when we were roommates when we watched it
[00:08:28] like I still watch it more than anything. You know what I'm I have just on in
[00:08:33] the background. Yeah I do that put Blade Runner on. Not that often but the
[00:08:38] original Fury Road I would watch a lot. I have dread too and dread is great to
[00:08:42] watch and I had not watched it in a fucking decade until we watched it with
[00:08:45] Tim Dillon. That was so fun. Yeah Tim loved it. Yeah that is like I just want to do
[00:08:51] blow right now. The movie rock. He's like I used to go to the theater. I mean in the
[00:08:56] back row do blow watch movies like this. Have you seen he was just trying to trick
[00:09:00] you into doing blow. Well he's gonna try to trick me into sex. You don't mind. We should all
[00:09:04] we should sit on my lap. We should watch this but with you sitting on my lap.
[00:09:08] Imagine me becoming a drug slave. It's only a matter of time. He's like that's
[00:09:15] great I would love to imagine it. Have you seen dread? No. Oh I rock. The remake.
[00:09:22] No. It is so good. Yeah. I have large gaps in my... This is another way. I'm very
[00:09:29] stoppers. I have large gaps in my video or in my movie watching history. Yeah.
[00:09:34] Because I repeat watch things a lot. Yeah once you get to a certain age it's
[00:09:39] hard to like. Have to go to the theater. Well you have to force yourself like it
[00:09:43] comes natural to you to just want to watch as many things as possible or read as
[00:09:47] many things as possible or listen to as much music as possible until you're like
[00:09:51] 23 24. Somewhere in there. Yeah your brain does shift you stop absorbing. Yeah and
[00:09:57] then it's like well fuck it I've seen the shit that I like. Like I watch maybe one
[00:10:00] movie a year now. They could they come out this new. Really? Yeah. I do a lot more
[00:10:06] the only reason I see older movies when they show like film form or something
[00:10:10] because I like literally have to force myself to be in a place where I can't
[00:10:13] look at my phone. Dude that theater is so funny. Or a chuse will kiss at me. No
[00:10:18] it's the opposite. There's oh there's so badly behaved in movie theaters. They talk
[00:10:23] but they don't like they don't like. I was at film form and there was an
[00:10:28] this old woman came in with like nine bags that just spilled into the aisle and
[00:10:33] she had her phone on full brightness as the movie was starting she's like I
[00:10:36] don't know how to turn it off. How do I turn this off? And then oh my god she
[00:10:43] made me want to fucking kill myself. She just kept talking the entire movie and
[00:10:47] she's like that character reminds me of Trump. Yeah. It's just like. Maybe she has
[00:10:51] autism. I feel like there's like they don't like Jews never even considered
[00:10:56] Asperger's. Oh yeah. They never even like would imagine it because it's a part of
[00:11:01] their culture. It's yeah. Yeah. It's true. Yeah. And then in the 90s. And they're
[00:11:05] picking up on social. Yeah. And their diversity is culturally dependent. Not
[00:11:08] listening. In the 90s like white people were like I think my kids are kike or
[00:11:13] something. And then the doctors like no he has Asperger's. I'm like yeah that's
[00:11:18] what I'm saying. I think that's just real fun. Well you know who Asperger was
[00:11:21] I think is a father with some guy named Asperger. You know who Asperger was my
[00:11:26] kid because he he doesn't know how to run without failing his wrists and he
[00:11:30] won't shut up. Doctor Asperger was a Nazi doctor who saved the kids who said
[00:11:38] that the they weren't full retard and so therefore didn't need to be killed. Yeah
[00:11:44] but he another reason to never go. Doctor Asperger was a doctor Asperger life.
[00:11:49] Doctor Asperger was a benevolent Nazi. That should be a great that would be a
[00:11:53] great Christmas movie. It's a doctor that's diagnosing the Jews with half
[00:11:59] retard at Auschwitz. Well I think it was I think it was Aryan kids with
[00:12:03] Asperger's. They're just sentenced to hard labor. I don't think he saved any
[00:12:06] Jews with as a right. They have their retard strength. But it's so funny that
[00:12:11] Asperger's was a Nazi invention. Quite literally a Nazi invention. My
[00:12:17] therapist told me that. Well then it's probably true. I was describing the fan
[00:12:21] base of the show and he's like that's really funny because I was like yeah
[00:12:25] some of them are Nazis some of them have Asperger's. He's like oh that's funny
[00:12:28] because Asperger was a Nazi and I was like you just blew my fucking mind bro.
[00:12:33] And then I paid him money for that. All right. Do you wish doctor? Yeah no no I
[00:12:41] have an Irish Catholic accountant and an Irish Catholic therapist. I got rid of
[00:12:47] our I found the only non-Jews that do that in New York City. Yeah you think he's
[00:12:51] immoral? No I think he's a moron. Oh is you fired? Well I got rid of him.
[00:12:56] Chopper was still going. He's very rude. Oh yeah that office makes me nice to me.
[00:13:02] He makes me so bad. Well the office does their office is fucking terrible at
[00:13:07] communicating things. It's like he only hires fresh off the boaters. Yeah yeah
[00:13:11] he only hires hires full Irish. Even though he's New York Irish. Part of the
[00:13:15] reason I pay them is so I don't have to know anything about fucking taxes.
[00:13:19] Right. It's like what do I pay and they're like it's all there. And it's like what do
[00:13:23] you mean it's all you tell me exactly what the fuck it is. No. And on what page it
[00:13:28] is there's no reason to go back and forth nine times. No. But anyways I don't know.
[00:13:33] Yeah we don't have to get into this. This is a very kikey conversation. Yeah but I am
[00:13:37] proud of myself for not seeing a Jew, accountant or therapist. It's a mark of
[00:13:41] pride that I have. I had when I was trying to get better at you know writing
[00:13:48] regularly because I got that got the ADHD. I went to a psychiatrist. Yes I
[00:13:54] could just for a while and he was a Republican Orthodox. Orthodox Jewish.
[00:13:59] Yeah who who's just like you need to get married. Is that yeah he's like you need
[00:14:04] to go to church and get married. And I'm like you're probably right but like how
[00:14:08] do I finish with my drugs. No I go to a different guy for that and he's a
[00:14:12] crossfit guy and he is hot. Oh really he is super hot. He is also Jewish. When my
[00:14:18] friend was in law school he went to an Indian guy and the Indian guy was
[00:14:21] literally just a drug dealer. Yeah what kind of peers do you like I give you
[00:14:26] anything you want I write you the script. Yeah they're hilarious. Yeah. They're
[00:14:31] most of the psychiatrists in New York City or not a large percentage are either
[00:14:36] Russian or Indian. I don't know why. I definitely had a Russian doctor feel
[00:14:41] good when I first got to New York. Now I have a very ethical hot crossfit guy. I
[00:14:48] would never see that guy just judging me with his body. Oh God.
[00:14:52] Oh God. Why is it amazing. The only doctors I see smoke cigarettes. There you go.
[00:14:58] Bad health. It looked like Stav. Dr. Stavros. That was already a
[00:15:05] character we did that was it's Dr. John but it's Stavros. Yeah. Wait who's Dr.
[00:15:10] John. Dr. John was like a Zydego musician. Oh yeah. Yeah. So it's just Stav on stage
[00:15:16] playing harmonica. Do this too. Yeah. Yeah. And a gun bow. Just a site like a band
[00:15:22] where he's always cycling out like 27 year old kind of heavy said black women
[00:15:26] with dreads that play trumpet like a lot and they have names like Sharon. Sharon
[00:15:32] Debenoit. Yeah. That would be a great lateral movement for him Zydego musician.
[00:15:38] I don't know if he is the gift for music. He doesn't like art. Yeah. He doesn't like
[00:15:44] any. He doesn't like doing things. He doesn't like I mean he doesn't like
[00:15:49] movies or books or music. Wow. Sorry. Will just text me from the
[00:15:56] choppled trap house. Vincent Curatola the the actor that played Johnny
[00:16:01] Sack who's must follow on Twitter by the way. Quotes we did will and said
[00:16:05] another empty fucking suit. What does that mean? I don't know. I think he made it
[00:16:12] both literally it doesn't know. Oh no no no. So okay. So Will's Will's tweet was
[00:16:17] it's de Blasio plans to endorse Bernie Sanders and will says send this one back.
[00:16:21] Thanks but no thanks. And then Johnny Sacks said another empty fucking suit.
[00:16:26] Even though I'm even more confused. It doesn't make any sense but it's very cool
[00:16:31] that Johnny is. He's just shooting off the weeks. Yeah. Yeah. His his Twitter is
[00:16:35] amazing. I did like a deep dive and like. Is he like one of the political ones?
[00:16:39] He's a man of found and a catchy and found it and shown to me. He's
[00:16:44] maga. He's mad. He hates the pope because he thinks the pope gives preference to
[00:16:49] poor kids over rich kids. Right. He's like it's not that fault that they grew up
[00:16:53] with money. Imagine thinking that's a conspiracy. Well if he's if he's
[00:17:01] confirmed Catholic odds are there is a subtext to his anger at the Catholic
[00:17:05] Church. Yeah. A childhood trauma one might say. The pope is unfair to rich kids.
[00:17:14] It's such a funny take. Oh man. Damn. Anytime I hear about pedophilia now I get hungry
[00:17:19] for pizza. If I haven't had it in a while. Really? Which is nice. Which is honestly
[00:17:23] the flavor receptors on your tongue. That's a thing that people don't
[00:17:27] appreciate pizza gate for is it now when you hear about something as awful as
[00:17:31] children being raped on mass you get to go. I haven't called Papa John's in a
[00:17:36] while. I haven't had fucking breadsticks or you know. I like the the Papa's
[00:17:43] three cheese pizza. I like the the that gross garlic oil stuff. It's nice to
[00:17:50] save it. I used to say I'm bringing home from work and I'd fry chicken in it. Oh
[00:17:53] my god. Stop does. Yeah. Stop just drinks it. Yeah. Shots. Yeah. It's just body shots.
[00:18:02] Keeps him alive. He is an IV bag. He hooks up. The stop loves the garlic butter. Yeah.
[00:18:06] He sticks his dick inside the hypodermic needle. This is entire dick inside the
[00:18:14] hole in the hypodermic needle. And fat right. And his dick is small and he's not here.
[00:18:28] He can't defend himself. And he's and if he were here the answer would be yes
[00:18:34] those are things. Yeah. He would agree with us. He wouldn't say no. So true. I
[00:18:38] know I'm not fat. I choose to be bold. I know stop well enough to know that he
[00:18:44] would say you got me on that. Yeah. Put my dick. Exactly. He would agree. So how was
[00:18:52] Iowa? Did you get any? Oh here's a I'm filling for some. Did you get any pussy
[00:18:58] in Iowa? No. Chopper was very like if we're all standing in a row and we're
[00:19:05] traveling and everyone recognizes us. Recognize us. There will be a receiving
[00:19:09] line where they asked to shake hands and get selfies with everyone but me. Like
[00:19:15] the men are all terrified of me. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. And then they then they
[00:19:22] walk home and they go stupid stupid stupid. That was the chance. There was a
[00:19:29] good chance. Now somebody else in line had to had the courage to do it. Oh well
[00:19:34] back to posting fantasies about a violent revolution on the internet. Right. But
[00:19:40] the capability of confronting anyone I disagree with. Yeah. By one night out of
[00:19:46] the house. The the people that go to like the not necessarily the shows but
[00:19:54] like the people that canvas and stuff are not the ones with social anxiety that
[00:19:59] they're like I can talk to a stranger or cry. Or canvassing you would need to
[00:20:03] have some degree of yeah at least social ability. Base level. Yeah. But they
[00:20:09] still don't want to talk to me. I mean I mean the people that are a few of them
[00:20:13] do. I feel most of the like the against the wall folks on the internet don't
[00:20:20] even like Bernie Sanders. No they don't like socialism. They just want the
[00:20:25] gulags. Yeah. Oh the wall guys know they don't like Bernie Sanders. Yeah. Yeah. I
[00:20:32] feel bad for those people more than anybody. I feel like the tanky's kind of
[00:20:35] went away though. But they did. Here's why I feel bad for them because it's like
[00:20:38] you know those guys have been around I've always known people like that and
[00:20:41] they're the biggest faggots in the world and it's like they picked this one
[00:20:44] thing where like their things never gonna get taken away from them. Yeah
[00:20:48] because it's so subcultural. Because it's so stupid and then it's like it's it
[00:20:52] weathered that whole like decade of like nerds are cool now. And you know so
[00:20:58] like other people that were into like magic the gathering had to see their gay
[00:21:01] thing taken away from them. Yeah by Chris Hardwick and turned into this huge. We're
[00:21:06] like hot people are going to play D&D or whatever. Right. So if you're like if
[00:21:10] your whole thing has been like a I'm a communist or whatever you stayed safe
[00:21:15] for the most part until you know now and now they're having their sorry. We're
[00:21:20] gonna make it we're gonna make it norming. That's cool. It's gonna be it's
[00:21:25] gonna be the wallpaper. Yeah I'm gonna make you special. Communists used to be
[00:21:29] like guys in dusting jackets at the mall. I mean I club in Indiana so like
[00:21:35] they're kind of just were any like for me it was labor guys so it was different.
[00:21:40] But they're not communists. No I mean like that is a thing. I mean like they
[00:21:45] would say they're socialists. Communists were like that was my and then I moved to
[00:21:48] New York and met very old Jews and they're they're cool too but then I met like
[00:21:52] the kind of subcultural and they now back when Jews were Jews. Back when
[00:21:59] Jews were cool. And when Bernie dies it's gonna be the last cool one. Nerds for
[00:22:05] very late in my kind of socialist education. I'm like oh so your thing is
[00:22:10] that you suck. That's your thing. Does that lady that called you to ever ass ass
[00:22:14] frost still exists? I think so. Molly we should get her on. Yeah she's
[00:22:19] turn she's turning 67 years old this year. Actually I saw a picture of her as a
[00:22:24] young lady and she's a she's a striking woman. She was good. She's an old woman.
[00:22:28] I think she's in her 50s or something. She's pretty old. Well I didn't realize she was an old lady.
[00:22:33] There's someone close to a picture of her as a DeGarera type apart from
[00:22:38] college. She used to be fun. Sarah Lawrence in 1914. Oh yeah. The women's
[00:22:46] retreat. She was the first US they allowed into a seven sister school. Wow.
[00:22:51] Yeah the Choppico women's retreat before they had any houses built up there and
[00:22:56] it was where they would go to have their period. They would all sink up in the
[00:22:59] woods. They would learn to sweep. Yeah and they would pretend to be Native American.
[00:23:07] How you guys been? Good. New Hampshire also fun. Also very fun. Cold. Yeah. Very cold. I
[00:23:14] liked it. I mean canvas it was nice because it was really beautiful. Like we
[00:23:18] were so rural that it was like oh this is like gorgeous woods and everything.
[00:23:23] It's beautiful. I mean I really I really enjoyed that week I was up there with
[00:23:27] Justin and Felix. You got to get the full the full Virgil. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Did
[00:23:35] you did you have any wacky folks you know like knocked on their doors saying
[00:23:40] he saying wacky stuff to you. Oh my god like a weird I had like the most
[00:23:44] stereotypical like Trump voter the one that's like such a stereotype that you
[00:23:48] almost think maybe it doesn't exist because it's too on the nose but he had
[00:23:52] like registered Democrat and I'm like hey can I talk to you I'm your volunteer
[00:23:57] from Bernie Sanders. He comes out and he's wearing like I think he was probably
[00:24:00] HVAC or something. Judging by his jumpsuit name on it or whatever. And his
[00:24:06] just draped in like ventilation. And his mom had answered the door and she was
[00:24:12] like his arms. She's like Jesse because it's very much a Jesse guy and I realized
[00:24:20] like it was him and his like he was like 32 and his like three other adult
[00:24:24] brothers living in their mother's house. And I was like yeah I was over here with
[00:24:30] Bernie Sanders and he was like I like Bernie Sanders. I'm like oh okay can I
[00:24:36] ask you what you're a do you have a second you know choice candidate and he's
[00:24:41] like Trump I'm voting Trump and I'm like oh okay what do you what do you like
[00:24:45] about Trump and he's like I don't need to talk about this right now and then he
[00:24:51] shut the door in my face and it's like wow you are actually scared of women.
[00:24:54] Yeah. Like like I think he expected to trigger me or something. He was eating a
[00:25:00] pear very angrily. Yeah. Yeah. The best the best I don't know if I told the server
[00:25:06] before I was on stage one time in Long Island City and there was a couple directly
[00:25:12] in front of the stage. There was like a like a 60 65 year old fucking like you
[00:25:20] know New York guy like like a very Christopher Walken and kind of guy. Okay.
[00:25:23] And then his date was this like very like stately rail thin older like
[00:25:30] African American woman. Cool. But with like you know shoulder pads and big.
[00:25:34] Oh they're like a king of New York kind of vibe. Yeah. Yeah. Just like a very like
[00:25:39] dated look on the woman. Uh-huh. And then he was like what hair he had was
[00:25:44] slicked back. So sick. Well together they probably met during the Harlem
[00:25:48] Renaissance. They probably weighed 175 pounds combined sick and fucking I was
[00:25:54] like who you guys are going for Trump and the guy goes of course we're normal.
[00:25:59] Yeah you're very normal. Of course we're normal. That fucking rules dude. Yeah. Oh man.
[00:26:12] Are you gonna go canvass Nick? I might go to South Carolina. I'm gonna you guys
[00:26:16] going? No we're going we're going straight to like California for super
[00:26:21] Tuesday and hitting three cities. But I'm donating to some of the Philly kids
[00:26:27] that are going to South Carolina. I'm going to Nevada. I'll try to do some
[00:26:31] canvassing. It seems like it's easy there because there's like a lot of
[00:26:34] suburbs so you get dropped off in a neighborhood and you don't have to walk
[00:26:37] a lot right. Apparently my dad my sister was telling me wasted the Bernie kids
[00:26:42] time for way too long. Imagine that. Yeah. She said I have a boy just like you.
[00:26:48] Come in I'll show you how to play catch. I got really upset. I'm 36 sure.
[00:26:55] It was just like some like scared kid who just got there from Iowa and he was
[00:27:01] like and my dad my sister said kept him for like 40 minutes like telling him
[00:27:04] what he thinks burned like like this kid could call up. Oh yeah this guy this
[00:27:10] guy's got no this crazy shirt. This this South African man in Las Vegas told me
[00:27:16] a new new messaging strategy for your campaign and my dad thought like he had
[00:27:22] a direct line. Jesus. So embarrassing. Is your dad one of the the the elder
[00:27:31] Jews that hate Bernie because like no one really hates Jews like Jews. No well
[00:27:37] yes well he doesn't hate Bernie but it's just they don't think it's my I have an
[00:27:41] uncle is Jewish and same thing like and he's too Jewish he can't win. No yeah
[00:27:46] it's like this is more of a you thing. Yeah I realize that like everyone from
[00:27:50] the Midwest grew up with Mel Brooks movies. Yeah it's like if Bernie wins it
[00:27:54] means that whenever oppression they're imagining in their head doesn't exist.
[00:27:58] Oh yeah that might be it. That's exactly it my dad says like they'll kill us before
[00:28:02] they ever let us do it. Oh my god. That's his whole thing. You know. It's like this
[00:28:05] self-loathing thing where it's like he doesn't believe a Jew could ever be the
[00:28:10] president. Well but it but it would also it's not just self-loathing though I
[00:28:13] think Nick is right it would also like they eradicate their like persecution
[00:28:17] complex. Exactly. Yeah yeah. Yeah but that's really being persecuted against.
[00:28:22] Yeah sure. They think who did. Vivian Gornick she's a memoirist and a former
[00:28:29] communist and she's like they're not gonna vote for a Jew he's too Jewish and
[00:28:34] it's like look I'm sorry you like became like a neoliberal in loss of faith or
[00:28:39] whatever. Well a lot of the Jews don't think he's real like they think he's not
[00:28:43] Jewish. He's pretty Jewish. No a lot of them are like he's not he's not nice
[00:28:50] enough to. Apex running fucking ads against. Oh so they're saying they're saying he's
[00:28:55] not Jewish enough because he's not like a virulent scientist. Well I doubt my I
[00:28:59] briefly talked to my uncle about it he thought Mike Bloomberg would wait and
[00:29:02] I'm like no you don't understand like Mike Bloomberg is the kind of Jew people
[00:29:05] that don't lie. Right right. That's the one with the worst kind. Those are the ones
[00:29:09] that belong in the camp. Yes Bernie is middle America loves those Mel Brooks
[00:29:13] teachers. Those are we love those guys. Right as someone that's like always just
[00:29:19] on the precipice of the windy cliff of anti-Semitism I could tell you I've not
[00:29:24] so much. You're repelling. I have not so much felt a fucking
[00:29:27] coiff of a breeze from Bernie Sanders pushing me over the edge. No yeah he's
[00:29:32] the best kind. Yeah he's like Bloomberg however. Yeah we all know there's two
[00:29:38] kinds book and money and they're both the perfect example of either kind and
[00:29:45] everyone hates the money ones of course and I can say it all right and I can say
[00:29:50] it I know we're all thinking it but I can say it. Yeah thank you for the
[00:29:54] mission. My Chris Ross. That must have been cool to be in New Hampshire to
[00:30:00] celebrate. It was really fun. Not just Bernie's win but Elizabeth Warren's. Oh
[00:30:06] it felt so good. Nine and a half percent. The people that still like her like
[00:30:14] that she's of I mean first of all she never had a loyal base anyway because
[00:30:18] the people that go after a Liz Warren are just complete opportunists who you know
[00:30:23] want to network and they see politics as like an alumni mixer but like the
[00:30:28] people that are dead obsessed with her still are like psychos like fucking
[00:30:34] Moira Donnegan psychopaths who would just like vote for Ava Braun if they
[00:30:40] possibly could like any woman whatsoever. I read it all is good. There's
[00:30:45] something about her. I like it from Elizabeth Warren the Amy clove of
[00:30:49] the show. Yeah yeah. At least Amy's tough. I mean she's yeah she's a right
[00:30:54] wing cunt but like I respect her much more like she's a killer. Yeah I like
[00:31:01] her. I think it's cool she abuses her stuff. Yeah I mean I'm sorry also like
[00:31:05] like the people talking about it were like well you are you're what a
[00:31:10] political intern for a right wing Democrat maybe you should be a
[00:31:14] little bit. That's true. And she did what exactly through a stapler at somebody.
[00:31:19] She threw a binder. She would make people like publicly like say like I'm sorry
[00:31:26] my boss is late because I'm bad at my job and competent. That's what you really
[00:31:31] ate. That is still not as bad as making people do that we are we are Walmart
[00:31:37] Chan. That's probably true. That's like team building based on like making people lie about
[00:31:44] being optimistic about their job is way worse. Yeah. And just fucking beating
[00:31:48] somebody down. Yeah. Fucking up. She talked about that. He's like when he's
[00:31:53] talking about his son he's like I tell my son go see your grandmother because
[00:31:56] it'll make her happy and that's the good thing that you do. It's like if I was
[00:31:59] an American pyramid I would say you're gonna have so much fun but that's psycho
[00:32:02] shit. Right. Well it's also it's more damaging to the soul. If you were to
[00:32:08] like if you were to be late though your job at Walmart and your manager made you
[00:32:12] go and say I'm sorry everybody I'm a fucking loser and I was late to work.
[00:32:16] It's like at least your display would match your feelings. Yeah. Which is shame.
[00:32:21] And disappointment in yourself that you wound up at Walmart or whatever happened.
[00:32:25] Right. To be forced every single day to go in there and they're like how excited
[00:32:30] are we to be here. It creates a dissonance. Yeah it's really dark. Yeah.
[00:32:36] That's why coolhand Luke is so troubling when they finally quote unquote break
[00:32:40] him. It's like it's difficult to watch someone embrace that. Yeah. I'm sorry I'm
[00:32:48] being driven nuts but your fucking microphone's doing that thing again.
[00:32:52] What am I? I don't know. I think you're rubbing it against your mustache. No it's
[00:32:56] there's like something I think the cables fucked up because I talked to a couple
[00:33:01] of them. I'm plugging plug. No it has something to do with the way the the
[00:33:05] cables like wrapped or something that it's you have more audio problems than any
[00:33:12] podcast. Hey I got bad luck dude. People don't I got big I got big picture good
[00:33:17] luck small picture bad luck. Yeah you're constantly beset by mild inconveniences.
[00:33:22] He's constantly not receiving packages on Amazon. Yeah but hey that's life threatening
[00:33:29] to kill members the United States Pro-Sulf service. I've never threatened to
[00:33:33] kill any individual. I would like to challenge the Postmaster General to a
[00:33:38] fist. What about a duel? What about like an old tiny. You know see that's the thing
[00:33:43] that was cool about the fucking 1800s. It's like people talk about all the
[00:33:46] founding fathers who went this or that. The founding fathers also said you could
[00:33:49] kill the president if he insulted you. That's true. As long as you follow the
[00:33:53] rules to do so. That was an option available to you that you could publicly
[00:33:58] challenge the president to a duel. It's pretty cool. And if they back down good
[00:34:02] luck with your reelection. Yeah everyone knows you're a pussy. You're a bitch.
[00:34:11] Yeah I would love that. I'm gonna bring that back. I just challenge Elizabeth
[00:34:15] Warren. She'd bring a bow and arrow. Yeah that would be funny. I would love to
[00:34:22] do a little Pete. He's but he's a trained killer. You saw how he was holding that
[00:34:29] gun. He could probably kill you with like a pen. That picture of him. He doesn't know
[00:34:33] how to hold a gun. He just went there to take pictures. He went to the troops just
[00:34:38] like how kids go on birth riot and then like go to the do fake Israeli army
[00:34:43] training for a day and they give like cost to him. Yeah I mean he's a he's he's
[00:34:46] deep state. He's not a soldier. I mean the Kleenex. Sure. What are you about to bust?
[00:34:52] That's bust. About to come from talking about Maripede. You're about to
[00:34:57] bust because you're thinking of Chastin. I hate that little shit so much. I swear to
[00:35:01] God I hate him so much. God Adam you're bad at everything. Well it was empty. I'm
[00:35:07] sorry. What is this shirt you're wearing? This my friend. I know you've been waiting
[00:35:11] for everyone to ask you about it. No my friend my friend in Tokyo gave it to me.
[00:35:16] He made it. Your friend and my Japanese friend. Yes I have Japanese friends.
[00:35:21] They actually respect me. There's a sumo guy in an autistic Japanese guy. I found
[00:35:29] out that a lot of them just didn't speak English the entire time I was hanging out.
[00:35:32] Adam thought he was crushing. I thought I was crushing. They had no idea what he was saying.
[00:35:37] They're just laughing at what I was saying I think just to be nice. Were they laughing?
[00:35:41] I was like wow these people really respect me. No no it was the cool thing about this trip
[00:35:48] was that last time we just chilled but like with ourselves but I met some some nice people
[00:35:56] there. Yeah you mingled. I like being a little present by the way. Thank you again.
[00:35:59] Did I go to wear Savoy? What's that? A pizza place. Oh no I went to a different pizza place
[00:36:05] in the Apollaton pizza place. There's like one in Naples and one in Tokyo and it was
[00:36:10] some of the best pizza I've ever had in my life. Yeah because they're like really big
[00:36:13] like italo files. They love Italian food. The neighborhood I stayed in was just all Italian
[00:36:18] restaurants. I'm like out of the fashion. But Japanese people get obsessed with shit and
[00:36:21] so like if they get fixated on something they can do it perfectly. Yeah fan culture there
[00:36:26] is hilarious. Like they still you'll be in a bar and they play the Beatles and you'll
[00:36:31] be like that sounds it's weird to hear that. This is like one of those things though where
[00:36:37] like when they would talk about like cultural appropriation with regards to the Japanese
[00:36:41] and I have a friend who's Japanese and it's like a Japanese translator and she's like
[00:36:45] yeah that concept doesn't exist for us. Yeah. We you would. They appropriate every so much
[00:36:52] time trying to explain anywhere anywhere but it hasn't even like caught on in the weird
[00:36:57] academic like Western circles where it catches on in other places. They're just like what
[00:37:03] are you talking about? I'm gonna go be Rockabilly now. I just rewatched Mishima. So good.
[00:37:09] Yeah. So good. Yeah. Just as a character like a fucking fascist nationalist gay guy. That's
[00:37:16] such a good character. Yeah. The guy that wants to gay in cell. Yeah. A guy that wants to
[00:37:22] reinstate the monarchy. Yeah. Yeah. So sick. It's pretty gay. I guess monarchy is pretty
[00:37:32] gay. Yeah. Well I mean so it's fascism kind of where it's like we're gonna make everything
[00:37:36] nice and neat. Yeah. Clean lines. You know. Yeah. Cute. Yeah. Yeah. Hugo Bosch. Chanel.
[00:37:46] Chanel was fascist. She was a copradora. Yeah. Yeah. She was Vishi. Yeah. Yeah. So sick.
[00:37:54] Yeah. So sick. Yeah. Clean lines. I wonder how many of the French were like so stoked
[00:38:02] to be to be Vishi. Probably quite a few. They're not they're like the one like they're seen
[00:38:09] as a country that still really has a problem with the Jews. But I can't I feel like I'm
[00:38:15] like if your duty is to be as French as possible. That seems like the logical conclusion is
[00:38:24] to help the Nazis as soon as they invade. But then you're not French. They're like you
[00:38:28] know but that is but you it is you are essentially French then to be like actually fuck my country.
[00:38:35] Just be just a full of your you can rape my wife. I don't care. Please just to give me
[00:38:41] a job. That's galaxy brain Frenchness. Yeah. I suppose. Yeah. Makes sense to me. I still
[00:38:47] love that they're like best comedian is that dude on guy. Yeah. Yeah. The guy that does
[00:38:52] the inverted. I don't think so. Going to jail crushing. He's their dice. He goes on
[00:39:01] stage. Did you hear about this guy who McCrall pointed and like somebody leaked like a video
[00:39:08] of him jacking. No. Yeah. Yeah. He's just yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is a good video. I don't
[00:39:14] know. I've looked for it also. I don't know what he looks like. So I don't want to like
[00:39:18] you know I don't want to see. Hey people got beat off dude. I was I was talking to this
[00:39:22] French dude last night actually and he was like yeah my mother she found family video
[00:39:28] like a real from like from like the 1940s and her 30s and so the whole family get together
[00:39:37] to watch the video and and then the my entire mother sided with the family just wearing
[00:39:45] Nazi in the form. You treat it first. No they like they found like some like dusty
[00:39:52] ass like old like okay but when you want to take a peek. Yeah. Well they was like they
[00:39:56] like they were like oh we're all going to watch this for the first time. They just found
[00:39:59] out that their mother's entire side of the family. So funny. They all had uniforms too.
[00:40:08] That's pretty cool. Yeah. They must have been high up in there. Yeah. I think he said that
[00:40:11] they made like silverware or something that was so nice that the Nazis let them be Nazis.
[00:40:17] Wow. It was such nice silverware. Wow. Yeah. That is pretty good. That's so okay. French
[00:40:23] boys. They didn't they didn't bomb Paris because they thought it was too pretty. Oh it's like
[00:40:30] they were like wow we'll keep that. They're like England. They're like fuck this place
[00:40:33] and just bomb the shit out of it. Yeah. I would bomb Paris. It's pretty. I would make that
[00:40:39] decision. If I had to. If that was your call. If you were Nazi. If that was your call. No
[00:40:45] I mean if I was in charge of the United States military. That was the only way to stop Israel
[00:40:50] was to bomb. They're one of the most anti Israel countries though. Yeah. No well it would be
[00:40:57] great. That's just because they don't like it. We could be a generation away from a president
[00:41:02] that gets in there and as soon as he's in there he's like new kids. We're going we're
[00:41:06] doing it. I held my bit my tongue. I knew I got in here. We're doing it. Give me the
[00:41:10] codes. Yeah but they got that thing right that mutually assured destruction they have. Yeah
[00:41:14] Project Sampson which is that if a project Samford and son. Samford and son. If I have
[00:41:22] project I'm coming Liz Booth. There's only six spots. I get rid of that guy. Yeah. We need
[00:41:31] to keep it. That's staying. Silence. If a nuke is flying towards Israel they they just
[00:41:40] pull the cord and then just take out everyone around them. Lebanon Syria Egypt. Jordan everyone's
[00:41:47] gone. What if it's like not a nuke though. Like it seems like that's a very dangerous
[00:41:51] what if it's a weather balloon. Yeah yeah. That sounds like it's the real final. That's
[00:41:56] where you need to find them. That's the good. No I was going to say put on the the curb.
[00:42:04] Oh yeah you can do that too. That's the theme to Israel actually killing everyone. No yeah
[00:42:12] they're doing what you want. I'm not sure you can't do it. Oh okay. Yeah so you guys
[00:42:21] have any Valentine's plans tonight. I'm going to look at people's Instagram posts to them
[00:42:26] in their relationships and then not like them. I cleaned my ceiling fan. That's what you do
[00:42:34] once every three years and you're like it's so good. What is this is like it's like a haunted
[00:42:40] house up there. It's like fucking you the tales from the crypt guy. There's really
[00:42:47] disturbing. He was really gross. It took like a roll of paper towels. I don't even understand
[00:42:52] why it sticks to it. Yeah it doesn't make any sense. Yeah they make a like a thing that
[00:43:00] hooks that you can go you know or like one of those little dinosaur mouths. Oh yeah.
[00:43:05] Little grabber. Yeah some paper towels and put them up there. I got I got on my ladder.
[00:43:10] The whole thing. You got a nice ladder. You got high ceilings. Tiny pussy big ceilings.
[00:43:16] That's what they say. That's what they say. Oh man yeah you got a sick crib Amber. Yeah
[00:43:24] sorry to leak that to the audience. Are you still moving to Europe? I mean I can't until
[00:43:30] like after like Bernie. Oh okay. I have I'm a bride of Bernie. I don't know if that was
[00:43:36] still your plan. I'd like to. I'd have to figure out a way to get a visa which is hard
[00:43:40] because I don't have a real job. And you want to move to the UK or I don't know because
[00:43:46] now it's like you know I would you know no because you don't get a you membership anymore.
[00:43:54] You could still get any you passport. It depends how the negotiate Brexit. I don't know even
[00:44:00] know where they landed on that but whatever. Apparently I could I could apply it to get
[00:44:06] an EU passport. Why? Because my mom's dad's Auschwitz led the Holocaust. The Auschwitz
[00:44:14] stamp on the past. The only place I'm allowed to go. You can come back but you got to live
[00:44:19] in the camp. You only allowed to go. It's lovely nowadays. I would love that. It's much
[00:44:25] nicer. Being a position where I have enough money to buy Auschwitz. Make a thing. Turn
[00:44:29] it to a water park. Yeah. Yeah. Bigaholic Austin. Six schlitterbahn Auschwitz. Schlitterbahn
[00:44:37] sounds kind of Nazi. Yeah. German themed water park in Texas. Yeah. Do I do a do a do a
[00:44:43] like a Jimmy Buffett themed water park? Just a parker. You know what I'm just a parrot
[00:44:50] head and I wanted to turn this place around. You could see where I'd used to say our Bach
[00:44:54] to my fry. It's kind of faded but then it just says welcome to margarita. Yeah. This
[00:45:04] the whatever the most disrespectful thing to do. I had a friend. I had people over and
[00:45:09] they they housed like refugees not in the camp part which is torn down but in what would
[00:45:15] have been the officers barracks and people got really mad and they're like they're putting
[00:45:18] them in the camp. Well like Syrian refugees. Yeah. And it's like well they put them in
[00:45:23] the officers barracks. Those were probably. That's respect. That's respect right there.
[00:45:27] That's the most German thing in the world to just be like what I don't know what you're
[00:45:31] talking about to just practice space. We are not using it. We're Ralph Fiennes lift. Is
[00:45:36] Auschwitz in Poland? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's in Poland. My friends grandfather made their
[00:45:44] entire family just as a family vacation before he died. Go to all the. Somebody sent me some
[00:45:50] post room. That is not a good. It was his his dream before I saw a tweet from some lady
[00:45:57] that was like everyone has to go to Auschwitz. I went twice last year. I just love the idea
[00:46:03] some of being like I'm kind of burned out on Auschwitz. I'm gonna try to blink at the
[00:46:08] area. I've got you know I've hit Auschwitz too many times kind of burned out on it to be
[00:46:12] I'm over it. Yeah. I'm over it. Yeah. I'm sort of all Auschwitz out. Was now both of you.
[00:46:21] Now we're both. I got both of you going. Yeah. I was I was fucked up on Sunday. Dude you
[00:46:28] got like food poisoning or something. I don't know what it was. I woke up my like liver hurt
[00:46:32] and I felt weird and I'm like maybe I should try throwing up and I just threw up like a
[00:46:36] bunch of bio. Oh yeah. That's bad. Like the acid. What yeah. Well it means
[00:46:42] bio. It looks like or when you're when you're like. Mine is green. Yeah it's green. It's
[00:46:46] yellowish green. It's like you know when you're like done throwing up when you have
[00:46:49] food poisoning and you're like dry heaving and eventually some some comes up. You get
[00:46:53] some bio. This was just a lot of bio. Oh immediately. Oh yeah you're done. Yeah. I don't know. I mean
[00:47:00] you're rotten from the inside. Uh huh. I when I get that I just drink a whole bunch of water
[00:47:04] so it doesn't hurt as much coming out. Yeah. You can say kombucha and kefir is what I'm
[00:47:09] doing. And if that doesn't work. Die. Yeah that's it. Well I was saying worst case scenario
[00:47:15] I'm dying. Yeah. And then it's not like you can go to jail. And then your words are over.
[00:47:19] Right. Yeah. Pretty much. That's the answer. Yeah I haven't gotten any stomach problems
[00:47:25] which is usually I think that there are two types of two types of anxious people. They're
[00:47:31] they're anxious. Vometers and they're anxious shitters. Yeah. And I'm generally a pukeer
[00:47:38] but I haven't puked. It's been a pretty good trip. Oh yeah. I should like three times a
[00:47:42] day still. I mean that can be okay if you eat a lot of fiber. No I think it's because
[00:47:48] I'm I am lactose intolerant. I just never dealt with it. Yeah. There was that. You're
[00:47:52] a weak show that would come on. Yeah. I like I can drink. I can drink milk straight out
[00:47:57] the titty. My ancestors were all cousins. Very powerful. Yeah. There was that info marshal
[00:48:03] that would come on late at night with that weird guy with like the drawn on go T and
[00:48:07] he would be like Billy May. No it was about shitting and he's like I went into the bathroom
[00:48:14] and I looked at my daughter's bowel movements. I thought how could something so large come
[00:48:20] out of a small girl. Wait what was this? It was an infomercial for some like how to go
[00:48:26] to the bathroom system. Oh like a squatty potty thing. No it was wave of squatty potty.
[00:48:30] It was like a book to taught you. You know what I think I figured it out. Yeah. I think
[00:48:36] I have pretty healthy shit. Did you watch TV carnage? Uh wait no. That rings a bell but
[00:48:42] I don't think so. It was a it was like a compilation of some guy. I think he does stuff for adults
[00:48:47] when but he has like this series of DVDs where he like each one is set to a theme and he
[00:48:52] just has like all of this. Yes. Yeah. He just has an ex boyfriend had a couple of those.
[00:48:57] Yeah. I used to back when I smoked weed when I was like 1920 I love that shit. Yeah. But
[00:49:03] it's just all like footage from infomercials and stuff and they cut so quickly and it's
[00:49:07] very funny. Yeah. Well it's also because like we if you didn't have like that I think you
[00:49:11] too was still sort of in its infancy. Yeah. And so like there wasn't like a total like
[00:49:16] you know well spring of just weird content. Yeah. It was also too it's like especially
[00:49:22] if you like grew up with that cable you have so many infomercials like baked into your memory
[00:49:26] from just TV would end and then you would just be like well I guess I'm watching this
[00:49:30] commercial over and over again. Yeah. The things that I would do you know because there
[00:49:37] was no there was no there was no way to be entertained. I mean it's like you can't go
[00:49:41] online and get in a fight with I mean I guess you could but I would like to see girls going
[00:49:45] wild. Yeah. I had a VHS tape with like recorded like call now horny women are waiting for
[00:49:51] you. I had like five of those on a VHS tape. Yeah. I had like movies that were very sexually
[00:49:56] forwarded to me that I would just rent over and over again. Like what I think when I was
[00:50:03] like 12 or 13 like the doors movie which is very bad movie but it's peak Val Kilmer.
[00:50:11] It's funny. It's like you were like I'm thinking like as soon as you said that in my mind's
[00:50:16] going to like the the fucking the pool scene from which wild things. The wild things. Yeah
[00:50:23] wild things. Yeah fucking Denise Richards and Starship troopers. It's harder. It's
[00:50:27] harder to find like men. Yeah. Well I mean I forgot that you know that I like penis.
[00:50:33] Yeah. Right. Yeah. People regularly forget that I like penis. Well because almost no one
[00:50:38] does. You know I mean like most women are like yeah I masturbated the other day and
[00:50:44] you're like to what and they're like this picture of my friend Rachel. Cool. I guess
[00:50:51] that's all right. It's not even like an erotic picture. She's just like you know. Yeah. She's
[00:50:57] doing a selfie with a sandwich. Game in are the only people having honest style sex. You
[00:51:02] know. I don't know what honest is. Dress up like Legionnaires. Yeah good. All of this
[00:51:08] hard work. And some of them sacrifices their bottom to the other for the good of the Legion.
[00:51:13] Exactly. Honorable. Honorable. They should call a Legionnaires disease. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:51:21] Okay Jeremy it's your turn to take one for the 13th. I'm trying to remember because I
[00:51:27] lived kind of across the street from a from a video rental place and I would just rent
[00:51:32] the same stuff over and over again. Is it an ariles? No it was like a family owned one.
[00:51:38] Oh classic. Did they have the beaded curtain with porn behind it? No it didn't have that.
[00:51:44] Although I might have tried to steal some if I was making a blockbuster night. You know.
[00:51:48] I'm talking about. We were a block busted family and then my dad used to get pissed
[00:51:54] off at them all the time. For what? Late fees for late fees. Yeah. I mean they really did
[00:51:59] fuck you on late fees but he'd be like you you promised the consumer something and he
[00:52:05] lied. You've lied to me. Just some like high 70s. Seventy really. A child. It's a literally
[00:52:11] a child. Some guy with acne. It's crazy. Stob was a block but Stob worked a block buster
[00:52:16] which is unreal because he knows nothing about movies. He's never seen a movie. He seemed
[00:52:20] like Greek movies. He really did grow up as an immigrant. Yeah you missed it but when Felix
[00:52:27] was here he he said he's never seen Forrest Co. No I've listened to that because Felix
[00:52:33] told me and he got so mad because he didn't understand the he doesn't understand the concept
[00:52:38] of fiction. Also he was saying he was like he's like what so he like just never stops
[00:52:47] and takes breaks. Somebody pointed out to me they literally addressed that in the movie.
[00:52:51] He's like well I would stop to go to the bathroom. Yeah. So there goes your whole theory Stob.
[00:52:58] Also like hope you're enjoying Texas. Also do you think you would like a cinema verite
[00:53:03] like thing that record like he's going to get really into Chantal Ackerman movies where
[00:53:07] she just makes a meatloaf for two hours. Like he wouldn't like a movie that shows. Also
[00:53:12] he might like a meatloaf for two hours. Yeah a woman with big tits making meatloaf is
[00:53:16] actually. I was fucking awesome dude. I'm getting into art now. That's so good. Yeah
[00:53:23] I mean he's right though that movie does suck. It's a bad movie but it is like a cultural
[00:53:28] touchstone. Stob's often writing the wrong reason. I do not accidentally see it though.
[00:53:33] Like it's such a cultural background. Yeah exactly. It's just like I don't remember
[00:53:37] ever seeking out Forrest Gump. No but you have to see it. Somebody puts it on in front of you.
[00:53:43] Yeah. It's like the detritus of boomerism. It's just an inescapable. It's like the show
[00:53:47] Onteraj. Yeah. It's like I've somehow seen every episode I never intended on watching
[00:53:52] any. Yeah yeah yeah. I watched Ghost again the other day. Yeah. Yeah. Which was on cots.
[00:53:57] I would just see it always on TV. Yeah. Yeah. Ghost. The best movie that was put on TV constantly
[00:54:03] was Christine. They used to play that on TV all the time. Yeah. Which you know people
[00:54:09] didn't really deserve that. Mm hmm. You know what I mean? I know what you're saying. It's
[00:54:14] too good for network television. Everything else was shit. It was like Christine and Blood
[00:54:19] Sport got played on fucking Paramount television. Before was UPN it was Paramount television.
[00:54:24] Wow. And they would play Christine and Blood Sport fucking constant. I think it might be
[00:54:28] back the Paramount network but on cable. Yeah. And into the mouth of madness. I you didn't
[00:54:35] have cable but I watched Rodney Dangerfield's Back to School because he was on Comedy Central
[00:54:41] literally every single day. I probably seen it a hundred times. I'm on used to do the
[00:54:45] thing where you would add a meal like this. Mm hmm. Because we're very broke for most
[00:54:52] of my childhood but she would do the thing where you get like the free month of cable
[00:54:56] and then cancel it and not pay. Mm hmm. And then she would just reopen new accounts like
[00:55:01] a like a couple months later. Oh yeah. So we would off and on have cable. I was. So she
[00:55:05] could watch IFC and Bravo. My dad had a dispute with the cable company and then he yelled at
[00:55:11] me and he's like we don't read enough books but it was really that the cable was getting
[00:55:16] cut off. I just wanted to be one of those guys. When I was a kid I always wanted to grow up
[00:55:20] and be one of the guys that you had like hack cable. Oh black box guys. Yeah that and like
[00:55:25] had to like do like the thing from the Italian job where you whistle into the phone and you're
[00:55:29] like you just got free long distance calls. Did you like hackers? What was it called?
[00:55:34] Freaking right. Yeah. Freakers used to whistle into phone before was hacking. It was freaking
[00:55:40] yeah. Freaking. It's such a funny term like phone freak. Yeah my man freaking. Mm hmm.
[00:55:50] Talking to women all over the world. Mm hmm. So we're just use it to use it to roam
[00:55:56] your dial. All the way in India. You just got free Romeo dialing for the rest of your
[00:56:00] life. Oh man. I wish you rewatch the Italian job. It is funny like if I like when I go
[00:56:05] to the one. Sorry. The first one sucks dude. I just rewatched the first one. Well I'd never
[00:56:12] seen it but the one with Michael Kane. Yeah I was talking about the Mark Walber. The Mark
[00:56:17] Walber. I don't need to see. Have you ever seen what's the fucking what's the Steven
[00:56:25] Seagull movie about like environmentalism. Oh it's a more recent one. Well it's in the
[00:56:31] 90s. Yeah. Yeah. It's got Michael Kane and it's supposed to be like some Texas businessman.
[00:56:36] Yeah. And he's like what exactly y'all doing. Actually Michael Kane figured out a really
[00:56:42] good specific type of Texas accent for some kids movie that he did or whatever. Really?
[00:56:49] Yeah. But it was that kind of weird western blue skies Texas like Sam Elliott kind of
[00:56:56] Texas. Mm hmm. But I was very impressed because I. I didn't know he could do accents. Yeah.
[00:57:02] I mean he got that cockney thing. Right he just sounds cocky. He just talks like this.
[00:57:06] I had guy shacks once. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. I first I was scared. And then it felt
[00:57:16] right. He's a big Tory. I believe he is not a fan of ethnic minorities. I think that's
[00:57:22] why. Well keep English England English. That's what I said. If you don't like minorities
[00:57:27] do you suddenly like them once they become the majority? No. Yeah they're just they're
[00:57:31] just a majoritarian. Then you become a cool. Can I can I be my stance? Can I just explain
[00:57:38] that to people? Yeah. I'm like well there's just not that many. Just like big number.
[00:57:42] How good can they be? Right. It's not if there were more of them maybe I'd understand
[00:57:47] but you barely see them. Why would I like something? It's like pistachio ice cream.
[00:57:52] It sounds disgusting. Just because it's out there somewhere doesn't mean that it's good.
[00:57:57] It's so good. Pistachio ice cream. Really? What are you a fucking Muslim? No. It is
[00:58:04] really. What are you a fucking packy with your pistachio ice cream? Dude. I've had I've
[00:58:12] had it. I had a brief romance with pistachio ice cream. It's really good. The Hoggendoss
[00:58:16] pistachios. It's it's fucking okay the first couple of times you have it because there's
[00:58:19] a novelty factor. No it's really good. Coming from somebody that like overindulges on everything
[00:58:25] on the board of equipment. For an obsessive personality. Yeah. Like it's like the specialty
[00:58:30] Kit Kats. Like the matcha Kit Kats. The first time you have them. But I ate an entire box
[00:58:35] of them in two or three days. We had when we were in New Hampshire these people came
[00:58:40] in the canvas from somewhere in Massachusetts brought us like their dad owns a chain of
[00:58:45] like ice cream like a small chain of ice cream shit. So they brought us a bunch of ice cream.
[00:58:50] We had this flavor they made called tiger milk where they just soak all of the cream
[00:58:56] in in frosted flakes before making the ice cream with it. I thought you meant it was
[00:59:01] like Charlie Sheen. That's Tiger's blood. Oh Tiger blood. Yeah. I mean it might have
[00:59:06] had eight. It's so good. It's cereal milk ice cream. It's really good. That's so good.
[00:59:14] I'm the stupidest. I wish I could get it. That was amazing. That is great. That is
[00:59:20] for everyone. What are the funny? Yeah. Just like getting some of the chomp giving someone
[00:59:25] AIDS and then while they're crying and the being like why didn't you tell me and be like
[00:59:30] look we're both going to have it when he goes when you get this and you will get it. Oh my
[00:59:35] God. Well finally be able to get put to be together. So you should appreciate that I
[00:59:40] even told you now instead of not telling you at all like some people would and then she's
[00:59:45] crying and he goes fuck me. Fuck me. I'm the stupidest fucking in the room. Which is she
[00:59:51] could have taken PAP and probably gotten out of it. I think this was the pre pre PAP pre
[00:59:56] prep. Yeah pre prepped. Well there's prep and there's PAP. PAP is post exposure. Oh it's
[01:00:02] like the morning after pill for you just got raw dog. How about it. Yeah it's actually
[01:00:06] pretty effective. How about a cock but it makes you sick. It's actually probably better
[01:00:10] to just be on prep. It gives you a little bit of AIDS just for a day. But ordering like
[01:00:15] a prep. Touch of AIDS. Yeah let me get a prep. I'd like a diet prep. I want a diet prep.
[01:00:20] See it's diet Pepsi and prep and then then see rooms. Diet safe. Oh you don't have it.
[01:00:32] Okay I'll be taking my business. I don't know. I feel like prep is kind of like hand sanitizer.
[01:00:37] You know what I mean. Where it's like kills 99.9% of AIDS and then it's like that point
[01:00:43] one percent of AIDS. It doesn't kill. They're like bad news guys. It's just back and it's
[01:00:49] got a leather jacket. It's like a Harley and it's taken names. It's new and all the names
[01:00:55] are Troy fucking Tyler. They're gay names. Lance Lance is a really gay name. Yeah. That's
[01:01:04] true. I think I can't. I don't know if I've ever known a single Lance. I have an uncle
[01:01:09] Lance. I have an uncle. He's a virulent homophobe though. Is he? Yeah. Damn. Probably because
[01:01:17] he's got that name. Yeah I think so. It's like a heterosexual ballet dancer. It's the most
[01:01:21] sexist ones. They got something to prove. Boy named Sue. Yeah. Boy named Lance. Actually
[01:01:27] Sue is probably a cooler name to have than Lance. Yeah. Well Sue could be like some weird
[01:01:32] Texas multi-gender name. Yeah. You can meet a guy from Texas and he's like yeah my name
[01:01:38] is Dorothy. And he runs the local saloon. Yeah what? And he killed three men. Yeah my name
[01:01:45] is Mackenzie. How are you doing? My name is Bethany Clearwater. What was the name that
[01:01:55] you said you wanted to have Dolores or you said you wanted to have a female name that
[01:02:01] was like Beverly. So what can I say with the Jean-Luc Picard voice? Yeah my name is
[01:02:10] Bethany. Well that's one of the doctor's names in the let's Cronenberg movie about the gynecologist.
[01:02:17] Oh deadringers. Deadringers. The twins. That is such a good movie. Yeah. Oh heart breaking.
[01:02:25] Yeah. Heart breaking. And also true women are monsters. Wait is that the one where Jeremy
[01:02:30] Iron plays the twin doctors? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No another Tory. One of them is named Beverly.
[01:02:37] Beverly. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Oh god that's a good movie. Yeah. I have a little you know I'm
[01:02:45] kind of burned out on Cronenberg actually. I've read my own. I go through phases. I've done.
[01:02:50] I watched existence a couple months ago. He was like I think it might be my favorite. He
[01:02:53] was like one of the first directors I liked when I was. Yeah we. Like one of the one of
[01:02:59] the movies can be or yeah yeah or the high art guys. Yeah you know you're like third you
[01:03:04] like 12 or whatever you get in the Scorsese like a boy does. Yeah sure. And then I think
[01:03:09] I like I got into Jarmis after that. Yeah I got really I'm still a I'm still a Jarmis
[01:03:14] just staying. I don't I don't care that it's basic bitch. Jarmis and Cronenberg and then
[01:03:19] and then yeah because when I was a teenager fucking Eastern promises in a history of violence.
[01:03:23] So those movies are awesome both of them so that I would have I would have killed for
[01:03:31] Eastern promises as a 12 year old trying to rent things. Yeah well Eastern promised Jack
[01:03:36] off to that fight scene. Oh my god. Yeah naked men trying to kill each other. That's all
[01:03:41] I want. Man Amber now it now now the boys are putting that on the on the amber spreadsheet.
[01:03:47] I'm sure this is why they can't talk to you when they see you. She likes naked combat.
[01:03:52] She likes guys instead of girls. She doesn't masturbate to her friend Rachel. Damn I kind
[01:04:01] of want like a big blueberry muffin. Yeah my name is Beverly Beverly Clearwater. I love
[01:04:08] nothing more than a rancher. Big blueberry muffin. I like the little little ones that
[01:04:14] have the fake chemical blueberries. Oh yeah. I like to put them in my mouth and then squish
[01:04:21] them until they're like a I like those muffins because they have like a skin. Yeah like a
[01:04:26] glaze. Yeah they glisten. I love that. Oh my god. Well folks that's it for this week.
[01:04:34] Happy Valentine's Valentine's Day. Sorry I wasn't more interesting. No Amber hey you
[01:04:38] so much. Honestly this is exactly the kind of show I want to do. We just casual. We're
[01:04:45] all kind of tired. All kind of tired but no this is like this is the kind of talk radio
[01:04:50] vibe that I like. Mm-hmm. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It is. It's kind of a Tom
[01:04:55] comes on. Joining her kind of. Comes on at fucking two o'clock in the morning. Yeah
[01:04:59] o'clock in the morning. You're driving. You're driving. You're on the road. It's nighttime.
[01:05:04] You want to fall asleep. What the fuck is this? Why would anyone listen to it? You're on
[01:05:07] trucker speed. Then two hours later you're like you don't want to find. Yeah. I'm listening
[01:05:12] to it. I don't care. I got another 15 minutes so I hit you. I'm going to crash at the motel
[01:05:17] six. We'll power through the rest of the trip tomorrow. Yeah. I really like blueberry muffins.