Cum Town | Premium | 02/24/2020
[00:00:00] Okay, it's the premium episode and we are a special guest Shane Gillis
[00:00:06] Could not do could not make it to the show absolute ledge. He's in Philadelphia
[00:00:17] It's the classical classical. It's not the classic. No, it's the this classic is means the classic goes mean stop
[00:00:25] Well, this is the classical classic where the show started that was his genesis
[00:00:29] I thought this was but we had something before the show started that was kind of more of a classical classical
[00:00:36] So a company called segura the other day I was driving around Tom Segura. No segura. Mm-hmm. Just s e g r a
[00:00:42] Yeah, and it was fun to imagine that it was like
[00:00:46] Like a hidden figures like we don't we'd make an own video company
[00:00:59] That's where video games come from dude, mm-hmm. It was coming black women started them. Mm-hmm. Yeah sonic the hedgehog
[00:01:07] They come up. What if what if he was blue, but in fans? Oh
[00:01:12] I like him. He's cute. I like that. He's fine because he's fast, but he's also blue
[00:01:17] And how about he got a friend with a lot of tail his friends got two tails and his name is miles
[00:01:24] No, his name is tails. His name is miles. His name is miles. Yeah, I wasn't a Sega kid
[00:01:31] Yeah, my list help miles his full name is miles power
[00:01:39] Nich name is real name is miles power Wow. You could be lying to me right now. I'm not lying. Yeah, no
[00:01:45] Which is a very like black like old-school miles power could be a full-back. Yeah, yeah
[00:01:51] Yeah, there'd be you know like a guy that
[00:01:54] A guy that works at uh, mm-hmm. You know the bank
[00:01:58] Yeah miles power. He played a couple years at north Florida. That's right. He had hoop dreams
[00:02:03] Yeah, my name is miles power and this is my wife's company SAGRA
[00:02:08] Yeah, she's kind of the brains of the operation
[00:02:10] Mm-hmm, and it's and it's like it's about this 1960s when black women were coming up with their own video games
[00:02:16] Yeah, my wife was a nerd. Mm-hmm. Oh, you don't fuck nerds
[00:02:22] She loves coming up with special video games just for black women. Mm-hmm. I hear the new sonic movies
[00:02:29] Maybe interesting really good. It's on par with the Irishman. Yeah, that's what I've heard
[00:02:35] Mm-hmm. I read that in the internet the sonic man the sonic man. Mm-hmm. I like that naming scheme for every movie
[00:02:43] What do you mean? Just Irishman the Jewish man? The blackish man
[00:02:55] That that show is a spin-off apparently the eyelash man of the Billy eyelash
[00:03:01] Mm-hmm the Billy Joelman the Billy Joelishman. Well in Japan. It's called the eyelashman. Yeah, and
[00:03:09] It's pretty confusing for them. I was thinking about going around Chinatown as in New York. I know like well
[00:03:15] What the hell is this place Japanese town?
[00:03:19] What are we what is this Japanese city?
[00:03:23] Yeah, that's good to get it wrong. Yeah
[00:03:26] Mm-hmm. Apparently my friend. What the hell is this? Japanese central over here?
[00:03:31] My friend my friend was in Chinatown. I've been born and raised a little little
[00:03:39] Never seen such a thing in my life. He's never been south of canal. I've never been south of
[00:03:47] Yeah, I've spent my entire life in between broom and grand. Yeah, I live I live above the John
[00:03:53] Vavado store classic Italian establishment
[00:03:57] My friend I've been all over this neighborhood Elizabeth Street, Mott Street, Mulberry
[00:04:05] Little Italy I mean from broom to houstin. It's like three blocks right? What little yeah, yeah
[00:04:11] Yeah, and it's just places you get canals swallowed up by a Chinese town. Yeah, the fucking Chinese took similar thing
[00:04:17] That's happening nearly right now. Yeah, exactly. There's they sent over the Wuhan. Well, they were like it was an Italian guy
[00:04:24] Who's like, uh-huh? I can't wait to get the coronavirus
[00:04:28] He's like oh, go on. Listen to the name of this thing the coronavirus
[00:04:32] I can't come here. Let me get it. Let me give you it. Yeah, they're just kissing each other on the cheeks
[00:04:36] Don't get the vibe no matter what you do. Don't not get the coronavirus
[00:04:43] Mm. Wow. I kind of love not being sick. They're incredibly unhygienic
[00:04:49] I love speeding when I speak and never being sick
[00:04:56] I saw a Chinese man in the airport this morning
[00:05:00] At six a.m. With his son his Chinese son and they were both wearing matching christian dior sweatsuits
[00:05:10] Like a ready so embarrassingly like in a like a hypebeast style
[00:05:14] Yeah, but it was a middle-aged Chinese man dressing his son up that way. That's cool. Yeah, that's pretty cool
[00:05:21] I wish I had a Chinese book remember that we went to that Chinese kid that was like he had that criterion tattoo
[00:05:26] Oh, yeah, he's like brutal. He's like yeah, I got it because I love watching movies with my Chinese dad
[00:05:32] Yeah, he's trying to impress us. Yeah, you're like, aren't you Chinese? What show is that at those in Canada somewhere right now?
[00:05:39] It's outside of funny moms. Oh, that's a fun mom. Yeah. Yeah, he's trying to try to ingratiate us
[00:05:46] Himself to us by calling his dad his Chinese dad
[00:05:54] What do you think about the Bernie Sanders victory Nevada? I thought I think I first of all I'd like to say good job at him
[00:06:03] I went back and he pretty much not even for Bernie for my mom's birthday
[00:06:07] But he went back for Bernie and fucking he came through they it wouldn't happen if it weren't for you
[00:06:13] It would have happened if it weren't for our podcast
[00:06:16] This I firmly believe that's true that we are bending history. We are bending it. Yeah, we're bending it to our will like Beckham
[00:06:25] From now until November. This is a Bernie Sanders podcast. Yeah, I don't care dude. I don't care if we're not funny anymore
[00:06:30] Oh, I know care lord comedy. I am certain of that
[00:06:36] No, come on dude. I got you know my no I did not
[00:06:41] All right, let's spice it up a little bit. Let's say some slurs. Yeah
[00:06:45] Um, no, it was pretty cool. I guess I went to see
[00:06:54] There were there were 25 people there. Yeah, it's pretty exciting to watch and in real time
[00:07:00] History going, you know, I really don't like these caucus things
[00:07:02] Why don't they just replace it with letting Elizabeth Warren win? I know that's how the system should be
[00:07:07] It's because people are afraid to publicly vote for a woman in front of their friends and neighbors
[00:07:12] That's exactly right. Mm-hmm. That's exactly and it doesn't apply to clobotard because she has a morgue
[00:07:17] We need to change masking the energy it accounts for an internalized misogyny
[00:07:22] You know because I remember the war in people who did not pass the threshold. That's when you got
[00:07:26] Misogyny so deep. It's in your shit. So you're in testines
[00:07:33] Yeah, so you go around. I'm just gripping my abdomen people like what's wrong. I'm like, I got either got
[00:07:41] Internalized misogyny. Yeah, I've been turnalized anti-Semitism. I take shit. I think I got a gallstone
[00:07:51] I mean, that's what they should call PCOS is internalized misogyny. Well, it's PCOS. It's polycystic over a syndrome
[00:07:58] I don't know what that is. I'm not a fucking doctor like you. I'm not a doctor. Yes. You are a little bit of what I just I know shit about
[00:08:04] You know, man. I just I made it my business. Yeah, I know everything about deprocy
[00:08:11] Yeah, people think I'm a guy in her college just all the time
[00:08:14] But I'm actually just a man with Wikipedia. Yeah
[00:08:17] Damn we out here in the gynecologist's office and liz morn is going off
[00:08:24] Just said like a black barber shop to sagana college's office
[00:08:27] Dude, you didn't even see that tweet. I didn't see the tweet
[00:08:30] But I'm now I'm laughing about a barber shop or gynecologist's office. It operates like a black barber shop
[00:08:36] How you doing my tell you get your pussy checked out today?
[00:08:39] Your doctors just talking the whole time
[00:08:41] Mm-hmm. They got fucking porn playing on like a mini screen like a like one of those kitchen TVs
[00:08:49] Looking good looking good a nine inch kitchen TV
[00:08:53] Isn't that for you about to be 15 talking about I'm trying to get a whip
[00:08:58] Son until you call it a car you're gonna be riding your ass on a bus. Oh, so what do you want an abortion to everyone in the room laughing
[00:09:11] Once a car he can work for Lawrence tell him that
[00:09:14] From across the room. You take me to the store. He said he won a new pair of michael jordan tennis shoes
[00:09:21] No, no, you okay? You good don't worry about it. He said yeah, they all want sneakers now
[00:09:27] I say how much of the are they? Yeah, 140 dollars for some damn sneaker
[00:09:31] He said granddaddy take a look at this tick-tock. I did I said tick-tock. That's how much time you wasting not doing homework
[00:09:39] That's the sound of the clock ticking on your ass before you go to college just a woman's feet and stir up
[00:09:50] Uh yeah, I tell them pull up your pet not you sweetheart. You keep your pants down pull up your damn. Yeah, this is true show some fucking respect
[00:09:57] These days I'm sorry. I'm sorry honey. You keep your pants down. Yes, we're not done yet
[00:10:03] Yes, but your your pussy is a truly peculiar. Mm-hmm. Yeah, what you got is uh, it's some squamous cells
[00:10:10] On your cervix you have kids. We call that a swervex around here. We call that yeah
[00:10:18] Yeah, you got I'm sorry, but you got a swervex
[00:10:20] Yeah, you should you should be squamous
[00:10:29] Yeah, what's up? You call for me? No, not you squamous
[00:10:34] No, I just guys you guys swerve. You gotta check out this one. We gotta call it squervice because squamous becoming in here every time we say
[00:10:41] And then just another guy comes in and I'm doing my name is squamous cell Thompson
[00:10:51] This mother guy comes in and he's like oh yeah, you working on this right here. I used to work on this model
[00:10:57] Yeah, yeah, you want to come back to my shop like that guy that was telling you uh trying to sell you fake parts
[00:11:02] Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, that guy comes in that guy was like that guy was like one of those New York mr. Rases
[00:11:09] The whitest man of all time reporter reakin or like very light-scale. No idea. Hawaiian. Yeah. Yeah
[00:11:17] Yeah, that's that's cool when you can sort of switch up with your outfit the race that you are
[00:11:23] Yeah, you could be Dominican one day. Yeah, you could be Mormon the next day. Yeah, because once because those guys get old
[00:11:30] And then you know, they're like 80 years old and they're dressing like fucking 19 year olds
[00:11:34] It's cool. I like those guys stuff those types of old. Yeah, they wear pleated dress pants every day
[00:11:41] No, not those guys. Not those guys sweatpants. Oh those guys. Yeah. Yeah, but a big cargo sweatpants fitted caps
[00:11:49] It fucking 93 years old. Yeah, but like non-licensed like it says and why but it's not a Yankees had
[00:11:56] It's it's from the port authority. Yeah. Yeah
[00:11:59] Um, what was I gonna say? I don't know. Did you have a funny story?
[00:12:10] He was just my friend that went to Japan with he was in Chinatown like after getting back from Japan and he didn't want to
[00:12:16] Jaywalk in front of the Chinese because he wanted to be respectable
[00:12:21] I don't guess he just thought they had the same rules as Japan
[00:12:24] He thought that they had the same honor based code as the Japanese. Are we not supposed to jay?
[00:12:30] I was jaywalking constantly in Tokyo. I know I think that no one jaywalk sir
[00:12:35] They didn't have any fucking crosswalks. You had they didn't have crosswalks. No ijwalk the whole fucking time because they had big ass crosswalks
[00:12:41] It was inconvenient to go to cross the street the entire time
[00:12:45] I this last trip i jaywalked plenty and and I was you know met with a lot of looks down at people's shoes
[00:12:51] But that could have been for any number of reasons. Yeah, I could have been dishonoring them in a in a multitude of ways
[00:12:58] Where I guess yeah, what we did we mentioned that you told me about this liz warren?
[00:13:03] Yeah, some dude i'll find it some dude said that he was at the barbershop
[00:13:13] Left just left the barbershop everyone was talking about liz warren yo your girl bro. That's he
[00:13:19] That's the he we need for trump when you are getting talked about in the barbershop you know it's real. Yeah
[00:13:29] Which is like definitely like same energy as that the jakeable like was just in a hipster coffee shop and everyone was
[00:13:37] Talking in hush tones about how great of a job our president Donald trump is yeah
[00:13:42] I mean, but you do hear some dumb shit and dumb places. I was thinking the other day
[00:13:46] I remember I was at east side showroom in Austin one time and I overheard two guys and one of them said to the other one
[00:13:53] Yeah, dude fucking earnest Hemingway f scuff is Gerald all those guys were steampunk actually
[00:14:00] Which is still one of the best things i've ever heard jesus christ yeah all those guys were actually they were steampunk
[00:14:07] That's such an awesome conversation do steampunk is so funny how that became a thing
[00:14:12] Yeah, your shit is like yeah, you know as a kid and I like shitty movies and then I became adult and I found other people that were deeply impacted by the film wild wild west
[00:14:22] Wild wild west was og steampunk. Yeah, that's where it started everything. Do you think that ushered steampunk revival?
[00:14:28] Yeah, every type of scene has like a dumb fucking like
[00:14:33] Genesis. Yeah, like we're talking about swing in the mask. Yeah furries are entirely the product of can you feel the love tonight from the lion king?
[00:14:40] Because it is kind of hot that they're gonna fuck they're gonna fuck just yeah, and they look good
[00:14:45] Yeah, and that like damaged the this the psyches of an entire generation of kids. I wonder if elton john does these parts
[00:14:54] Because they were like maybe we can sexualize children and they did just not in the way they expected. Yeah, it's true
[00:14:59] They just made them want to fuck other animals other animals when they were adults rather than as children being like it's time to go suck off a producer
[00:15:10] Which was the they were trying to get kids comfortable running out of your old jewish mom dad. I want to suck a fat old jewish man's penis
[00:15:20] That's what I can't wait to do yo is harvey about to get off. I hope so dude. I think that they're saying it might be
[00:15:26] I'm sure dude. I would love that. I would fucking love that dude. This is the dude's rock
[00:15:32] This is honestly 2020 what harvey winstein did was despicable
[00:15:37] In if it's like coming down to dudes versus we need this dub dude. We need this dub
[00:15:43] We need it because what we need to happen is if harvey winstein gets off
[00:15:47] The hoes are gonna get so mad that they'll ruin all of the camp all the women are out. Yeah, it's true
[00:15:52] liz warren won't be able to collapse of the liz warren campaign has already started that if fucking harvey winstein gets off
[00:15:58] Elizabeth warren won't be able to shut up about it and it'll be the only thing that any of those people are talking about
[00:16:03] Oh, yeah, and it'll it that'll be the it's gonna destroy them
[00:16:07] They're gonna combust. Yeah, and then and then bernie's gonna sneak under the radar for the for the victory. Yeah
[00:16:17] Yeah, no, dude. I'm so happy to see these these fucking moron. I want the title vice roy
[00:16:23] Is that only a bernie? No, is that under only in india?
[00:16:27] Yeah, like it's in the car. British British india had the sickest the raj
[00:16:34] Yeah, you you and you wear it like half indian half british club squamous you get like
[00:16:40] Squamous. Yeah, you get genie pants, but like a military jack and poobah, so sick
[00:16:47] So I love it the grand poobah of palestine co-op or like coordinated with him. That was the grand mufti. Oh, that's juris lo
[00:16:53] It wasn't the poobah. No, but we can remember it as the poobah that makes the story better
[00:16:58] Movedies good, but only if you don't know the poobah is one of the options
[00:17:03] Yeah, my dad loved to bring that up for a while what that the I was like, yeah, it's you know like
[00:17:09] He's like and what's he supposed to be like a ladens dad or jasmine's dad or was he jafar?
[00:17:15] No, it's just like his response for like there's two sides to every story with the like gazza or whatever
[00:17:19] He's like yeah, but what about the grand mufti of juris loin meeting hitler in 1938 or something
[00:17:28] If you find a knot in a cat and you start rubbing it they don't like they hate it. They love their knots
[00:17:32] My dog loves being beside no dogs love it but cats they especially one special place. I like to stay tense
[00:17:39] Yeah, cuz cats like working their own shit out there
[00:17:43] See your cat beat you. I know she does that you're so brave. You don't care about bites and scratches
[00:17:49] Dude, Nick, you're you're a legend. I'm the old man. I'm sorry. I let those girls in your apartment when you were gone
[00:17:55] We haven't swatched this beef. Oh, I didn't actually give a shit. Were you actually mad? No, I thought you're mad
[00:18:00] No, it's just I was watching Nick's cat and I I let two girls in the apartment
[00:18:06] He said they're touching all my shit. I'm touching my stuff
[00:18:10] Touching my fucking video games. Well, then I rescind my apology then because I wasn't actually I thought you were also joking around
[00:18:16] I was joking around. Yeah, but I thought you were I thought you were serious
[00:18:21] No, sir. I let them I let them put on your chainmail. Nick. I'm pretty mad about sir
[00:18:26] All right, a girl sent me the chain mail. So it evens out. That's pretty cool. That's a chain mail from a girl
[00:18:31] That a girl thought to buy that. Yeah, dude girls girls are nice. That's wife material right there. I think no, it's not you don't think so
[00:18:38] No, it's a friend who it's you just sometimes you could be friends with them. Of course. No, sometimes I can face in me gifts
[00:18:45] I could be friends with them, but I know that secretly deep down. They just want to tear my clothes off and
[00:18:49] And have sex with me. Why can't be friends with women, but I know deep down. They want to send me knights clothes
[00:18:56] I know that every woman I need secretly wants to just adorn me with tunics and
[00:19:04] They can't wait to send me off to recapture Jerusalem
[00:19:08] What if you've you met a girl? This is kind of a stop question
[00:19:10] I'm trying to fill in for his his role in the pot
[00:19:12] You met a girl that was really into like mid middle ages style sex
[00:19:16] Would you would you keep going? Oh, you said middle age style sex? No, no legend like dark ages
[00:19:25] Getting like way too drunk off course. Yeah, of course you would keep fucking that girl
[00:19:29] That girl's amazing leathery wife. They're gonna rock. Yeah, let's get sunburn and then fucking have have sex
[00:19:36] Mm-hmm, you know on the pullout couch in our our
[00:19:41] I guess beach rental we're middle age people. Yeah, they go to the beach. Yeah, rohobah
[00:19:55] Uh, no, I meant like a girl that could only bust at green sleeves
[00:19:59] You know like that kind of bitch. Oh who wants to be like a damsel, you know, those girls are weird
[00:20:04] Those girls are weird. Yeah, I don't know if I could show with one
[00:20:08] Yeah, they're like this is the kind of girls that uh
[00:20:11] That just like it's it's all you get it's like impossible to be attracted to them
[00:20:17] You know, even if they're fun. They are exactly a lot of them. They all have huge cities too. A giant giant
[00:20:27] Because you know that they're like they're worth like four degrees colder than room temperature and like balmy
[00:20:34] They're that's a version of horse girl. I feel like it's like
[00:20:41] Had this on my wife. Yeah, she a renaissance. She a renaissance type of bitch
[00:20:47] Yeah, we're you know, we're we're really into the dork ages
[00:20:52] You know dork style shit. I was trying this out over the weekend getting zero from it from a couple of
[00:20:58] Haters, okay, but because I wasn't around my boys women. It's yeah, it's funny
[00:21:02] I forget that like if i'm not around you and stop no one thinks i'm funny. No, that's not true
[00:21:08] You guys like no, no, no, i'm just deeply annoying
[00:21:13] That's true. I mean to me and stop too. You also are but we just protect you
[00:21:17] I'm good at the bit you are good at the bit you take those those get taken away from me around other people
[00:21:24] Imagine a guy well, it's just women can't rip. They're like, what do you mean like a guy who's
[00:21:32] You're girlfriends. Yeah, it's like like why are you pretending to have down syndrome right now? Wait, what were you getting nothing for?
[00:21:40] It's just like oh your bloom brick bit. No, no, I thought that was very funny. Thanks. Yeah
[00:21:48] You know, mama mama. I can't wait to vote for my boob back
[00:21:54] But I think the president should be a car as the most money mom. He's got the most money
[00:21:59] He got he has the money mom. I want for my boomburg. Tell me a voice. I got both of my boob
[00:22:06] Now sweetie. I play it. I played that for Felix. We were having dinner together in vegas
[00:22:18] Um, no, but then what I was thinking about over the weekend was
[00:22:22] uh, it's like a unit to get marketing meeting. Mm-hmm. Like for lens crafters
[00:22:30] Oh, yeah, a guy shows up and he's didn't do his homework or whatever
[00:22:33] So he's like he just rips off of papa's that yeah, and he's like how about we do like uh, we do a thing
[00:22:39] And it's like marty grodd. You know it's like well come on down to
[00:22:42] Come on down for some Louisiana style glasses down in linear's crafters
[00:22:52] Yeah, that makes no sense. It was called a retard. Yeah, I was fucking told to shut up
[00:22:58] They told you you were being a retard. I said I would yeah that's that's retarded. You're a retard
[00:23:04] I was told like I said could you go five minutes
[00:23:08] Just shut up for five minutes. They said that's yeah
[00:23:10] And people said a lot of rude stuff to me. I don't like I don't listen
[00:23:14] It's like this is like, you know, uh, you know, we're family, you know
[00:23:18] So we we could we could say that kind of stuff to each other, but someone's saying that to my family
[00:23:22] I don't like that at all. I'll let it slide. We'll let it slide for now
[00:23:26] I'm old now see it old gives you a kind of confidence
[00:23:28] People talk about old man strength and they don't realize that it's mostly emotional. Oh, yeah, that's that's the that's
[00:23:34] The basis of my strength my emotional fortitude. Yeah, that's how I can
[00:23:38] Stand being made fun of in front of a an audience of racists for three years, you know by my friends
[00:23:46] No, I'm just saying on the show and stuff. I can like I can handle it. Oh the podcast because of my maturity the podcast because of my
[00:23:53] emotional strength. I forgot the role you play
[00:24:05] I thought it'd be funny to like memorize every answer for trivial pursuit for like the 1987
[00:24:11] Yeah for like six months lock myself in the room and memorize every bit and like a montage of me sweating and staying up
[00:24:18] memorizing and then inviting somebody over a couple of people I remember like you guys
[00:24:25] You know and then we play at once and I'm like, I was proud to just get throw it. I'm like, that's right
[00:24:31] Wanna make a little more interesting and put $20 on it this time. I'm like, no, I think we're good
[00:24:36] Yeah, we're done with trivial proceeds. It's not that fun. Oh, well
[00:24:41] That's that that's your that's the end of that chapter your six-month plan
[00:24:46] And that's the end of that chapter of my life
[00:24:53] Anyone that like earnestly refers to parts of their life as chapters. That sucks. They suck
[00:24:59] They suck. They really just know they are not living a real life or turning pages or just anything related to a book any book related
[00:25:07] Yeah, that's really gay. Yeah. Yeah, it's time for the next episode of my life. That's what I like episode
[00:25:13] Yeah, some for the next track my life is show my life a movie. You know my life is not a book
[00:25:19] My life is circus my life is circus fucking clown world. Yeah, that's true, but there's other shit, dude
[00:25:26] Freaks, I'd like to imagine you know the economy. There's like a downturn
[00:25:31] Recession. Yeah, you go to the circus and the clown car like shows up and then just one clown gets out of the car
[00:25:40] It's only one of them. Yeah, they're like, yeah, we had to fire a bunch of the clowns
[00:25:45] That's sad, man. Yeah, I know that's probably the future our kids have to look forward to
[00:25:49] Mm-hmm in this uh hell world hell site. Yeah, you know, I was like all of my friends are dead
[00:26:00] Part of me, dude, sorry. I had a flight at 5 40 a.m
[00:26:05] Dude, I think my um my flight was I thought my flight was 11. It was a 925
[00:26:10] And I have my alarm set for 8 a.m. You made it. I made it good. Good job, brother
[00:26:16] I made it. I think I got so you could schedule an uber
[00:26:20] I think my uber driver from my parents house to the airport this morning was on methamphetamine
[00:26:29] Primarily because it was you know like quarter to 5 a.m
[00:26:32] And she would not stop talking. Yeah, and she was like she was like, yeah, I'm actually this week
[00:26:37] It's got a pretty big week coming up. I'm getting a whole new set of teeth. Yeah, Sean Patton got new teeth
[00:26:44] I mean he looks good, but only if you have it known Sean Patton before yeah because I was telling him well
[00:26:49] It's one of those things also like once you notice them you can't stop yeah
[00:26:52] Well, I was I noticed it immediately yeah because I I was telling him like you know because I don't know if you notice it before I didn't really pay attention
[00:26:58] Oh quick plug Sean Patton's doing funny mom some more night
[00:27:02] I didn't really pay attention his petite
[00:27:04] But there was a way his mouth was shaped or you only you saw his incisors, but not the teeth in the middle
[00:27:09] Right and it for whatever reason it made him look like binky from arthur
[00:27:13] When he spoke right he had like just like binky energy
[00:27:16] Which I you know I thought maybe he's because it was the shape of his head
[00:27:19] But it was always just the teeth because binky's top lip kind of dips down a bit
[00:27:27] And now that he has brand new teeth. He looks like robert goolei
[00:27:32] Which you it's it's very weird to imagine the teeth can take you from binky from arthur to robert goolei
[00:27:40] It's a perfect description the best comedian by the way one of the best
[00:27:48] Was extremely entertaining. Mm-hmm. I recently rewatched the will feral robert goolei sketch on s&l
[00:27:58] They had they said the n-word on us you know
[00:28:02] They used to take real risk now. They take the wrong type of risk by hiring like a mentally disabled muslim woman
[00:28:08] Yeah, someone without arms. They're like that has the right sketches with the pencil and their greatest risk of all time by hiring
[00:28:16] The most unfunny people in the world this person survived
[00:28:20] Uh, I'm just the rape of the taliban. Yeah, melala melala
[00:28:32] Yeah, that's my melala impression. Very good. Thank you. What happened to melala?
[00:28:36] She um got pregnant dude. Yeah, yeah, she found the right guy
[00:28:41] She got me that's that's what I was always saying when she was just running her mouth about the taliban
[00:28:45] I was like she hasn't found the right guy. Yeah, and yes, she's 13
[00:28:48] I was looking at my my Elizabeth Warren poster remember him the other day closing my eyes and kissing it masturbating without getting hard all the way
[00:28:56] And I was fantasizing about a captain planet
[00:28:59] Uh-huh live action. Let's go with melala. Mm-hmm. Great. A thunberg. Okay. Um
[00:29:06] Who else the kids from parkland the part yet david hall david
[00:29:11] And and uh, and let's see who's the black kid that we're throwing there. Oh and
[00:29:20] Did you see that dwarf kid that finessed all those people who would be the right answer for that something right?
[00:29:25] Yeah, I don't know but anyway some black kid that's also one of those and I was masturbating to the idea of them summoning captain planet
[00:29:38] Matt is it matt mcgory is that his name? Yeah that guy that's like the feminist yes
[00:29:44] This is him and his dad got this is what a feminist looks like tattoos captain planet shows up
[00:29:52] Where's the pollution? You know and they're like we need you to help a girl win
[00:29:56] And then he kills bernie sanders. Oh my god, and that's uh captain planne. He's our hero
[00:30:03] Is that elizabeth warren's plan right now to kill bernie sanders? Yeah, we're gonna kill bernie sand
[00:30:09] You know my grandfather would have put an arrow right through his deck just taking his scalp right off
[00:30:15] We would have sli would love to peel his scallop back
[00:30:19] And eviscerate him with a rusty tomahawk
[00:30:26] Sending his uh his campaign offices smallpox blankets did they really do that?
[00:30:32] They gave them blankets with smallpox on them sure did it's annoying it is it's really annoying
[00:30:38] A bedbud blanket that would have been really annoying
[00:30:42] for the native americans have to call a fucking
[00:30:48] Ways to it was tuberculosis right? I thought it was smallpox. I thought it was tb blankets
[00:30:56] What's the deal with smallpox? There's not as big
[00:31:03] He has a chicken pox chicken pox not that bad
[00:31:14] Now remembering arthard dying and i'm upset
[00:31:16] That's why we need medicare for all dude to save arthard morgan to save fictional character
[00:31:23] That's why you thank god sat on a video
[00:31:26] I support I kind of I was radicalized by the death of arthard morgan from red dead redemption too
[00:31:33] Because i had to really thought about it and I thought if he had access to care
[00:31:37] Instead of just it's true only he only had ten dollars because I spent all my money on guns
[00:31:41] He had no choice but to you know go throughout the country side working for Dutch exactly
[00:31:47] There was no you know some of us spend most of our time killing beavers to make the legendary beaver
[00:31:53] But if he could just go to the doctor if he could have gone to the doctor
[00:31:57] That's why i'm supporting bernie sanders
[00:32:03] What else how long have we been doing this? I got a player author
[00:32:12] I'm gonna dress up like a girl and then we can sneak into the bathroom
[00:32:17] Is that that's doing the rock Dutch? No, it's Dutch. I used to be a Dutch john's
[00:32:21] I don't remember what that sounds like something like that played the game in a while
[00:32:28] Yeah, because i miss playing red dead redemption too and I never played the first one
[00:32:32] It might be one of the best games ever made
[00:32:33] It's so it was it honestly because games have sucked for 10 years
[00:32:37] But that one was like a fucking bright spot in a sea of shit
[00:32:46] I guess if you want to have a lady president that's up to you
[00:32:56] Um, yeah, that's uh, I think maybe i'll just get the first one. Well, maybe Elizabeth Warren can kiss my ass
[00:33:09] I love arthur that hates women. Yeah, you should go to some Warren campaign
[00:33:16] Yeah, my name is uh arthur morgan and i got tuberculosis
[00:33:25] And i was wondering a feller like me could maybe get some medicine
[00:33:33] Yeah, that's that's fucking that's gold right there
[00:33:38] Yeah, I know my name is uh arthur morgan from red dead redemption too
[00:33:46] Well, i'm a simple cosplayer and just a cowpoke
[00:33:50] And I was wondering why we need a cunt in the white house
[00:33:56] When we could have some jewish feller. No, that's a period appropriate
[00:34:01] A name for what Elizabeth Warren is what a con yeah, that's what women were called. Yeah in the old west times are changing dutch
[00:34:09] Talking about letting some co-manchu bitch be president
[00:34:23] I used to be much quicker and I could on the fly come up with some dutch plan to put Elizabeth Warren in the white house
[00:34:28] And i'm gonna come up with that. No, my brain is I can't-
[00:34:31] This is what you've been talking about how your power is of dold. It's not powers dude. I'm too old
[00:34:35] I'm too old for this young man's game. Mm-hmm. It is young man's game
[00:34:40] It's who do you think's gonna who's like the next who's gonna take over anything?
[00:34:44] Probably thomas thomas from twitter thomas from twitter
[00:34:49] My train friend thomas yeah thomas the tweet engine. He's very funny. He's very funny. I like him a lot
[00:34:58] Eight years ahead of him. Then he's done just like the rest of us smoked
[00:35:03] Then it's over for us. He is toast as they say
[00:35:07] You better start the podcast now friend. Yeah, come on dude. They probably won't even have podcasts by the time you're 30. No
[00:35:13] Well, they're not yeah, we'll be living on the moon
[00:35:17] On tesels moon. Yeah, we're all gonna be getting sucked off by machines
[00:35:22] There's not gonna be any time for podcasting good old-fashioned parthor if we put the command she bitching jail
[00:35:28] We can break out harvey wanstein from prison
[00:35:32] They put her in the white house. Yeah, I can't even speak properly. That's good
[00:35:35] They put they okay, so Dutch one's they get her a lecah do the voice and yeah the get will is with Warren elect and then they
[00:35:41] To distract everybody to bust Harvey Weinstein
[00:35:45] Everyone so happy everyone they yeah, they don't notice they get Harvey Weinstein out of prison and then he's indebted to them
[00:35:51] So then they decide to make the best movie of all time right boondock saints three. Thank god. They're making that yeah
[00:36:01] And then and they would then they use the money that they make from boondock saints three to finally move to
[00:36:08] You know a new bedford massachusetts wherever the next town is
[00:36:13] Yeah, the wailing museum and new bedford massachusetts you love bringing up that museum. It was all right. You went there. I went there
[00:36:21] What was like what did they do with the whales? They ate the food they ate the blob they turned the blubber into oil
[00:36:28] That's the use of a whale lamp and then bones they use the bones using bones
[00:36:35] Zile for xylophones. That's how they made zalaphones
[00:36:39] That was a big guy industry back in the back of the as when xylophone was king
[00:36:44] Yeah, everyone was playing the sex in the city theme song, you know
[00:36:48] You would vet the zalaphone the guy who did the sex in the city theme song
[00:36:54] No, it's uh, I don't know probably some fucking caribbean guy no
[00:36:58] Oh, a xylophone. I can't wait to play this a la phone
[00:37:09] No, it's from the greek words xylon and phone. Oh like sound
[00:37:20] I was setting up on words. It's interesting xylophone comes from the greek word xylo and phone
[00:37:25] Pretty interesting people are learning something right now. Yeah, uh, let us educate you
[00:37:33] All right, let's see it was invented in the ninth century
[00:37:37] Ninth century, I was thinking 1940. Yeah, lay earliest. Yeah, right. I thought maybe that was like sort of a Harlem Renaissance kind of thing
[00:37:45] Oh, they didn't have music until jazz. Yeah, that was the first kind of music
[00:37:52] 2000 years the seguru the seguru genocence
[00:38:00] I can't wait to play my seguru genocence
[00:38:03] Uh, is that like a vase is that a kind of guy? What like a Harlem Renaissance like
[00:38:14] Uh, being a 1920s black jazz man, I just typed in newest instrument and there's something called the vanova. What's that?
[00:38:25] Um, I don't know. It looks fucking sounds like pussy though. Yeah, it's got me interested
[00:38:38] Well, they're made by yamaha and it costs a hundred dollars
[00:38:41] That's not bad, but you know, it's a combination of the saxophone and recorder. Okay
[00:39:10] It just sounds like music from the week. Yeah, I think it was made. That's exactly what it is. Is that what it is?
[00:39:21] Is it good? They're always good, but I'm having trouble reading these days. You can't read
[00:39:26] You can't come up with fake plans from red dead redemption to to get Elizabeth Warren and barely do the voices anymore
[00:39:33] Nick you're all right, man. I'm dying Dutch
[00:39:41] I would love that dude. Yeah, that was you decide to stay halfway through the game or their collapses. He's like what?
[00:39:50] I'm sorry son. It's it's not good news. Yeah, I'll gather dad
[00:39:58] It's a progressive disease. It's getting worse. It's gonna
[00:40:04] Find a place to stay that's filled with cookies and sweets
[00:40:08] That's it all possible. Yeah, I'll just go move into the pills Barry factory
[00:40:22] Yeah, isn't that like kind of an analogy for life, you know
[00:40:28] I can't even really I can only just sort of approximate Arthur back when I was playing I could do
[00:40:33] Yeah, you could do well. Yeah, I got it now. We're in the voice the voice section in the show
[00:40:38] I got to burkel look. What did you say to burkel? Oh, I got to burkel oce
[00:40:45] Yeah, my name's Arthur Morgan and I was planning on voting for uh
[00:40:52] He for sure was would have been a Tulsi guy. We're gonna Tulsi. Yeah, there would have been several side missions. She's a tough broad
[00:41:00] But yeah, she's the daughter of the chief
[00:41:03] Who has to do man stuff in lieu of her brother. Who's a pussy. That's true. He's like, I'll never judge nobody. No ways
[00:41:13] But this is definitely the way I think is a man from 1898
[00:41:24] You know some bay area computer programmer
[00:41:34] Uh, ma'am, uh, would you mind telling me your pronouns
[00:41:42] That sounds more like Dutch and yeah, that's kind of a Dutch arthur. I got a
[00:41:54] Arthur we're gonna get my dick cut off and with the money I make or in myself out
[00:42:01] They were gonna be able to move to new town star all over again
[00:42:05] Yeah, that's what that's the plan always right is that they get enough money
[00:42:09] Then they can go to a new place and they go to new place and then cut getting more trouble and get more trouble. Yeah, that's
[00:42:17] That's that's kind of like us man. Yeah, yeah, you should play the first one because the first one's a sequel to the original
[00:42:22] Right. It's with that guy the first one is a sequel to red their reaction to right Arthur's already dead. Yeah, you play as john marston
[00:42:30] Which was weird because it's like the first one was so good when two was coming out
[00:42:34] You know, I've memories of playing the first one. I'm like, well. I don't know if I don't want to like
[00:42:37] I would want to play as john marston. I'm like who's this fucking other guy
[00:42:42] Then you play the second one. It's like, oh, yeah fuck john marston
[00:42:46] The epilogue is takes place after the first one though, right? Yeah, yeah, so
[00:42:51] No, the epilogue takes place way before the first one, but don't think
[00:42:57] Kill who dutch. No, no in the epilogue you go up that mountain
[00:43:04] I didn't play I didn't play the epilogue. Oh, I played it
[00:43:06] You kill dutch at the end of red dead redemption. Oh the first one the first one. Yeah
[00:43:12] Oh, no, you killed that other guy the the bad guy. Yeah mica mica. Yeah, now I remember
[00:43:21] But I didn't play the epilogue because I I had it I turned off autosave
[00:43:25] And then I played I like was like two missions from before arthur died
[00:43:29] And then I finished the game and then I did like three missions with john
[00:43:33] And then I wrote way out in the mexico to see how far the map went and I got like eaten by wolves
[00:43:39] Is that they just wrote that into the script you can't go too far
[00:43:44] I got attacked by wolves while a gang like attacked and it just fucked my shit up
[00:43:48] Because otherwise it would have been fine. Yeah, and it was like I had lost like five hours of gameplay
[00:43:55] That's so scary to be five hours off the map. Yeah. Well, it was even more annoying. It's so brave autosave would happen
[00:44:02] You like your file would like I turned it off because I had like there's one time I was playing where
[00:44:07] The game autosaved with my horse on train tracks with like a train like right in front of the horse
[00:44:13] So anytime the game would load it would kill my horse
[00:44:16] And I was like this is fucking I had to go back like five hours another time that happened
[00:44:21] Wow, so I turned off autosave so I could be in control. It's amazing what they put us through the the trials and tribulations of being a gamer
[00:44:29] Life is so hard. It's brutal. Life is life is brutal. It is hell. It's really just now. I know what Nietzsche was talking about
[00:44:38] So fucking German faggot. Yeah, sorry for saying that word to anyone that was offended
[00:44:49] I'm gonna teach you how to suck my dick about that. That's good. Yeah. No, we're back. Yeah now. We're back now. We're back
[00:44:55] Let's do some more sound effects. Maybe that's all right
[00:45:05] He should it be great if that truck sped off and it just said like Elizabeth Warren
[00:45:13] It's a planned parenthood Elizabeth Warren fucking Hillary 2016 resist. Yeah hashtag resist. Yeah
[00:45:20] He's like yeah, yeah, you're gonna die of beans and tortillas you fucking pig
[00:45:32] Well, I'm against those slurs, especially after you said it though
[00:45:39] That's I said quoted the bean. I quoted a white devil saying it. It wasn't me using that's such a fun
[00:45:45] That's like I love slurs that are that lazy. They're like yeah, these guys they love beans
[00:45:51] I'll tell you something about these motherfuckers is they love putting beans and things. Yeah
[00:45:58] Put their beans in a can and they put them in tortillas. They got they got a tortilla pizza
[00:46:09] It's like lunch but it's for kids and it's called Lunchables
[00:46:13] Arthur that's a great idea you get the DLC where Arthur comes up with Lunchables
[00:46:22] I just wanted to do something good before I die
[00:46:26] Dude, you remember thinking Lunchables pizza was good. No, I remember thinking like that's good eating right there
[00:46:32] I remember when it came out that some kid had it
[00:46:37] Can I please? Yeah, it looks so good. My parents would never buy for me. They let me have one of the pizzas and it was disgusting
[00:46:45] Sucks it was like a soft cracker. Yeah with ketchup and like and like shredded cheese or something
[00:46:52] And like little pepperoni. Sorry, whatever you put on it
[00:46:54] But it just felt like you're like the taco sucked
[00:46:57] I mean the classic Lunchables is the good one the ham and cheese ham and cheese, baby
[00:47:01] Yeah, yeah, well the lunchables pizza was like it just felt like you're being a pizza man
[00:47:06] How you doing? You listening to ham and cheese
[00:47:11] And I'm cheese and I'm cheese and I'm bringing the cheese
[00:47:15] Damn, I'm sleepy. Yeah me too, dude. I'm like really feeling that flight right now. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't sleep on the plane either
[00:47:23] Why I just get pissed sometimes. Yeah, I know that yeah, you got in one of your moods
[00:47:30] Would you do you like that? Do you have any rituals? You know, it's funny. It's good breaks
[00:47:34] There are years I'd see pictures of Ben Affleck and be like man this this guy is like deeply hurting and complicated
[00:47:39] Yeah, and then I read that interview. I'm like, oh, he's just a fucking idiot. Wait. What interview?
[00:47:44] He did an interview where he's like I mean he's upset about his divorce. I guess I really like him
[00:47:48] He left Jennifer Garner to get extra pussy
[00:47:51] Oh, and then he's like he's like I blew it
[00:47:54] He feels like he blew it. Yeah, he was like I want to get some extra. Why won't she let let him back?
[00:47:59] I don't know. She's gotta let him back bro. Yeah, he's miserable about the divorce
[00:48:04] I like all the pictures of him in public smoking cigarettes looking terrible. Yeah, that's why I like him a lot
[00:48:10] I'm definitely gonna go see that new movie with him opening weekend
[00:48:14] The most annoying part of the interview was like the journalist who interviews him calls him out for lying to the press about why he had
[00:48:20] Like he said he had a he's just a big shitty tattoo on his back
[00:48:23] Yeah, the Japanese said it was fake for a movie and the guy was like
[00:48:27] Yeah, but you gotta kind of own the fact that you were deceptive about that and it's like fuck deceptive or says something like that
[00:48:33] And it's like who cares there's nothing it's so funny when like journalists get mad about like plagiarism because it's like
[00:48:38] There's things that affect them personally right that they treat
[00:48:41] You know, they're like the press, you know because the they get to determine
[00:48:44] Yeah, what people are mad about yeah collectively, but then they have their own issues that affect them
[00:48:50] That they treat with the same severity and it's like most people don't care about plagiarism
[00:48:54] Yeah, most people don't care about Ben Affleck lying about having a tattoo
[00:49:00] Wait, they say they called him deceptive. They said the the way I read he's being duplicative
[00:49:15] I like him because I think I use her and marin screencat part of the interview. He's like this is so fucking true
[00:49:27] Forget about him all the time, dude. Yeah
[00:49:30] Warning this is not one of those celebrity profiles who uses a teaspoon of new information to flavor a barrel of ancient history
[00:49:38] There's no paragraph with a star in the writer pretending to house gag
[00:49:42] While doing every day. What is this? This is a badass interview about bandit
[00:49:47] Yeah, this whole thing was fucking lame. Oh god. Yeah
[00:49:56] Uh, what is this what do you want him everything? Wait, so
[00:50:10] Just yeah, we'll just let you know you just say whatever
[00:50:24] No, I always liked him because I used to watch the kevin smith
[00:50:32] For the kevin smith movies when I was in high school and I always thought he was very charming and funny
[00:50:37] Yeah, the cough afflex cited this sober a lister's Bradley Cooper and Robert Downey Jr
[00:50:42] He's guys have been very supportive into whom I feel a great sense of gratitude
[00:50:44] I've continued one of the things about recovery that think people sometimes overlooked is the fact that in Colgate certain values
[00:50:50] Be honest be accountable help other people
[00:50:57] Goddamn shouldn't he have been honest from the start about the damn back tattoo rather than telling extra it was a fake for a movie
[00:51:04] It's like shut up you fucking bitch. What a fucking loser. You lied to extra
[00:51:17] I resented that somebody got a picture of it by spying on me. Affleck said shifting on the sofa where he was sitting
[00:51:22] It felt invasive, but you're right. I guess I could have said that's none of your business
[00:51:26] Dude, I really if trump is just like I'm gonna kill the journalist alvo for him. Yeah
[00:51:33] They really need to go they suck some guy who thinks that it's his job
[00:51:38] To be like Ben Affleck you're a fucking hip or something. Yeah honesty. Hmm. Let's talk about that first. Okay
[00:51:46] Shut up bitch. What a fucking nerd ass bitch
[00:51:51] Shouldn't you have shouldn't you been honest to extra
[00:51:53] To the show extra just Michael Douglas your line to entertainment tonight your liar
[00:52:02] You lied to extra and to excess Hollywood now it's time to have gay sex
[00:52:08] Did you see gay actor Michael Douglas came out for a gay mayor Michael Bloomberg and did he yeah the gay Michael's need to stick together
[00:52:17] Michael Bloomberg and I have been having sex
[00:52:23] Hello, I'm actor Michael Douglas. I just want to let you know that Michael Bloomberg and I have been having sex
[00:52:31] Michael Bloomberg is a mayor that represents values. I appreciate
[00:52:35] Like getting fucked in my ass and having him come on my face
[00:52:41] If there's one thing I love most about Michael Bloomberg is the way he chokes me with his cock
[00:52:50] We have a chance for an america where everybody gets a head start
[00:52:56] We have a secret forbidden trust between two gay millionaires who are now in the closet
[00:53:06] I can't hear him say hi. I'm Michael Douglas without hearing you say I'm gay
[00:53:12] The video of him endorsing Bloomberg is like it's just it's just ruined for me. I haven't seen it
[00:53:20] Oh, let me find it. Yeah. Hi. I'm Michael Douglas. Hi. I'm gay actor Michael Douglas
[00:53:28] Falling Down who's the guy you confusing with martin sheen you may remember me from apocalypse now
[00:53:35] What are other martin sheen movies? Hi, I'm Michael Douglas the West Wing TV
[00:53:39] Famously played the president of the united states on the television show the west wing
[00:53:50] Hi, i'm michael douglas the actor who played josiah bardlett on the show with the west wing
[00:53:55] Not only my gay, but I have experience being a gay president
[00:53:59] Wait, this is this is this is even better dude. He says that kirk douglas's last words to his son
[00:54:10] Was that he endorsed bloomberg can you imagine your dad's last words you were like
[00:54:16] As my father's life slipped out of my hands and I pulled my penis out of his ass
[00:54:22] His last words to me were please endorse michael bloomberg your gay lover
[00:54:28] Please sexually endorse michael bloomberg by making love to him
[00:54:39] What I love about michael is I really have to work to bite his lips when we're having
[00:54:49] Michael douglas and there's one thing I love it's weird bitey sex with my lipless boyfriend
[00:54:56] He does have no lips. Yeah, I was saying he looks like mcconnell like like a turtle
[00:55:01] He looks like a the female version the feet like so mitch mcconnell and michael bloomberg a part of an alien race
[00:55:08] Yeah, they're lizard people and michael bloomberg is the the sexually receptive gender
[00:55:13] Right, so he's the one that takes the common shits not it's not so simple as a mf divide
[00:55:20] But there is like a receptive and a right you know passive in a instead of a penis
[00:55:25] Mitch mcconnell has a bar that penetrates michael bloomberg exactly. Yeah and deposits eggs into a sack
[00:55:32] And then the the eggs fester and eventually explode out of michael bloomberg's chest
[00:55:38] Yes, disgusting to the dismay of his earthbound gay lover michael
[00:55:50] That I could fuck the woo the festering
[00:56:06] When I make when I when I make love to my alien my female alien, but gay boyfriend
[00:56:13] Oh god, I gotta I just want to find the video of him being like hi. I'm michael Douglas
[00:56:35] Left by mitch mcconnell piercing his abdomen
[00:56:39] To lay eggs. I guess that is kind of how the elites do it
[00:56:42] Mm-hmm. I'm michael bloomberg michael Douglas. You're already finding
[00:56:51] Yeah, michael Douglas, but I just can't hear his voice anymore without hearing you doing that bit
[00:57:00] So do you get this ad this like targeted ad for Jerusalem estates? No, what is that this fucking like
[00:57:06] Like Israeli piece of shit company they have like this fucking like Jerusalem estates apartment complex
[00:57:13] But they've done something with the fucking code so that when you're scrolling through an article
[00:57:17] It'll stop scrolling at the ad and you if you click if you try to scroll you'll click on the ad
[00:57:22] I've clicked on this ad accidentally like 15 fucking times really and it's I've I had to block the website on my fucking
[00:57:30] On my phone because I'm so annoyed with fucking accidentally
[00:57:33] What is it apart like a timeshare in Jerusalem? Yeah, but if you like scroll look see it'll like stop scrolling see how I can't scroll
[00:57:40] Oh, that's ridiculous. Yeah, which is that some sort of massage trick?
[00:57:44] Probably dude and it probably violates fucking google ad senses rules
[00:57:49] If you know if any of you know how to tattle on I'm anti-tattling unless it's on israel
[00:57:58] I can't find this Michael Bloomberg thing. Whatever is very funny a president american needs
[00:58:10] He has done more as a private citizen and as a mayor than most any con than most any congressman or senator or elected official
[00:58:21] This is a rare rare moment and I haven't felt like this since john kennedy added douglas
[00:58:26] Who had an affair with john kennedy in the 1960s
[00:58:34] I'm michael douglas. I've played a president in a movie, but this is the real world
[00:58:40] Mike boomburg has where it takes to win to unite the country to move past the endless fighting in order to get things done
[00:58:48] Mike has built a business run a city taken on big challenges like gun safety and climate change
[00:59:02] When mike bloomberg kills himself up in a tiny ball and I take his entire body into my gaping asshole
[00:59:11] I think often about how we met for con 2014
[00:59:20] Mr. Douglas that rainy night in february when I met michael bloomberg. Yeah when I was having sex with jonnef kennedy
[00:59:31] He reminds me most of I thought I'd never love a man
[00:59:37] But mike bloomberg has done more for me than any dildo or ciby and nor vibrator ever could
[00:59:45] Bloomberg has blown my ass out and ways
[00:59:52] Now he's going to blow out down on trump and come all over my face
[01:00:03] Well, that's the show is that the show that is the show. All right, man. We did it
[01:00:09] Uh and stop his back. I'm the money moms. I'll be having sex with every comedian that performs our friend stops back on wednesday
[01:00:17] Okay, everyone have a have a nice rest of your day and that's it. I guess