Cum Town | Premium | 03/08/2020
[00:00:00] You know, I had a weird dream that oh fuck. I had a fucked up dream this morning, too
[00:00:05] Yeah, I've had I've been having weird dreams and we were all in it
[00:00:09] Nobody would get this dream. So for whatever reason that guy
[00:00:15] He like I was somewhere where he like just he needed to do something with $10,000 and I had
[00:00:23] And then he like reported back to me that he had either deposited the money or done something with it where it was like
[00:00:31] No that money there can't be any kind of like paper trail with that money
[00:00:34] It was something weird and illegal and then the rest of the dream there's people coming to me
[00:00:40] Saying like everybody's looking for your fucking bag man cuz he like I guess he went around
[00:00:45] He lost the money and then went around like either killing people and get the money back or something
[00:00:50] And this is just a random fat guy just some kind yeah, yeah, we know or don't even barely barely know
[00:00:58] Maybe five conversations with them and all of them happened in 2015
[00:01:05] You know, I'm like, I don't even know this guy. I don't know and then like cops are looking for me
[00:01:09] You know, it's at some house. It's not my house. It's not anyone if anything. It was like
[00:01:13] Yeah, I don't know I can't even place it was just thing. Yeah, yeah, and
[00:01:17] And but it was my on an uncle's house in the dream even though it didn't look like their house
[00:01:23] But it was but it was but it wasn't an on an uncle I have because the uncle was Tom Scarad
[00:01:29] Okay, well the uncle turned into Tom Scarad later. I love when people turn into other people dream my dream
[00:01:35] That's always it's always shifting but so in the dream one time I fucked my friend. Sorry to interrupt
[00:01:41] No, yeah, cuz it get like there's always be the cops are like showing up
[00:01:44] I'm like just ignore them. Yeah, and then people are telling me that this guy did some shit with the money
[00:01:49] Yeah, I don't like I don't have anything to do with it. I'm gonna think about it
[00:01:53] I'm gonna ignore it not worry about it. Yep. Okay, and then at one point
[00:01:57] I was like hey, I'm going to the grocery store to get ice cream who wants ice cream
[00:02:00] Mm-hmm, and I wrote down what everybody wanted. How many people are just your aunt uncle the guy
[00:02:05] There was a bunch of people like 25 people in the dream. Okay, and then
[00:02:10] Yeah, cuz I was at some kind of event and I remember
[00:02:13] Like there's a bunch of people talking and people who like telling stories and it was laughing
[00:02:18] But I was like right I was stuck behind some guy his head
[00:02:22] And I was trying to say things and nobody could hear me
[00:02:25] Wow and the guy in front of me would say something and crush and like nothing I can win. Yeah
[00:02:33] So you get everybody's ice cream order everybody's ice cream order. I wrote down everything Tom or my uncle says let me get
[00:02:39] Hey, let me get snow cones and there's a brand of snow cone that he wanted. Okay, and I can't remember what it was
[00:02:46] Okay, it started like an owl and I was like alright and then later in the dream
[00:02:51] My uncle was now Tom scared and he looks at me. He's like did you get those snow cones. Yeah, I was like
[00:02:57] And I knew I forgot but I was like I did
[00:03:02] Yeah, and then I opened the freezer and there were push pops in there that I had good cuz I got a bunch of shit
[00:03:07] Of course he's like these aren't snow cones. I'm like I thought they were the same thing nice. He's like Nathan
[00:03:12] Well, he called you out on it. He was like yeah, these aren't snow cones and nothing happened with the cops
[00:03:17] Nope. Yeah, that kind of they really just turned into a snow cone thing at the end. Yeah one time
[00:03:23] I had it woke up knows it one and I was thought it would be great if that's how no country for old men ended that would be good
[00:03:31] My father was in both of them first one ups. I really need to be having too many beers, man
[00:03:38] Yeah, what do you mean? I this my first beer? He's gonna he seemed drunk already. I don't see what I don't have an alcohol
[00:03:44] Problem you're gonna get too drunk on this and then you're gonna ask me delete it later
[00:03:48] Yeah, and we can't afford that we got a fucking bank of that's why I'm trying to just not stop speaking
[00:03:53] Smart move going about my dreams. He's talking about I have a I would dream after yours
[00:03:57] Yeah, talk about well at this point now it's become a riff about the ending of no country for old
[00:04:02] So I'll wait for that to be a keep going. I know how to flow the conversation and Tommy Lee Jones is having like a pretty basic dream
[00:04:10] Yeah, my dad was there, but he was Tom scared. He was Tom scared and he asked me for snow cones. I
[00:04:20] But I told him I had him and then he rode off into the canyon
[00:04:29] That would be do you ever annoying do you ever dream about you're doing a set in the dream now?
[00:04:35] I literally be on stage. I honestly have not I have a couple times. I've woken up and written down
[00:04:40] That's what happens if you don't actually do stand up
[00:04:44] Let's see. Let's see you just do does more setup. You know it remains your dream between the two of us. Oh, let's see
[00:04:54] Challenging to a contest. Let's get account. We'll compare the 15 years. I've been in stand up comedy
[00:05:05] Yeah, that is a weird thing for you to get him with I have to admit I'm just saying I'm only okay starting when
[00:05:20] I think I've done a whole lot more stand up than Nick Mullen
[00:05:24] That's you on this tour. He will eclipse you immediately. Yeah by doing like
[00:05:39] Wanted if the dream I had one time I was fucking a sexy ass girl. Yeah who had just like I mean
[00:05:46] Round ass cheeks and just like tight big titties. Yeah, and this is I'm in I'm like 17 when I'm having this dream
[00:05:54] Yeah, and like curly hair which I like I like a girl with like, you know
[00:05:59] This one girl was in love with in college had like dark curly hair and big titties and honestly
[00:06:07] Liked ever since I never fucked her. I always I was shocked. She wanted to fuck me. This actually this is one of my most
[00:06:13] Humiliency experiences. I was literally in real life in real life
[00:06:16] No, I was a girl. No stop was afraid of life until three years ago. I really it's true
[00:06:21] No, he's that was an alpha top ball. I'm yes
[00:06:24] I was scared, but I always had a monster to unleash. She's a timid. I was yeah
[00:06:29] Yeah, but I was I couldn't believe she wanted to fuck me
[00:06:31] It is insane that you had zero confidence until you lost all of your hair and that is true actually no joke
[00:06:38] I'm reverse Samson once my hair long went I had all the power in the world just money
[00:06:44] No, dude. It was like this is before the money. It really was
[00:06:49] Hanging on once you finally I guess you know in death you become right the right
[00:06:55] He's a man with nothing to lose because he's lost at all
[00:06:58] I was pretty cute when I could have fucked this girl
[00:06:59] But I thought I had way bad like I thought I would look horrible because you were trying to be a Kevin James fat guy
[00:07:07] Will sasso you know like a divine without her makeup
[00:07:21] Anyway, whatever yeah, I never thought and now she's got like a family. She's got like a husband and like two kids
[00:07:26] I'm picturing that dental student in the sopranos
[00:07:31] The one that Tony imagines is living at the Kusamano's is that from like season one?
[00:07:38] Yeah season one. Yeah, what is it Tony? It's just like hardcore hallucinating at some point
[00:07:44] Yeah, I think is it easy as laughing gas. There's a lot of like no
[00:07:48] It's a mouthy like switches his prescription. Yeah, I think he's meds were fucked up magic
[00:07:55] Whatever, I don't remember what that girl looked like but I what with the girl in the sopranos look like this girl had like brown
[00:08:00] Curly hair she was Jewish had like cat eyes almost
[00:08:06] Nice you thought and like nice big titties, but I was too scared to fuck her
[00:08:16] 18 and I had only rubbed a pussy from the outside of the panties
[00:08:27] Yeah, oh, yes. Yes. Yes, the claws absolutely. I would love to use getting some trouble on the bus with one of
[00:08:35] Are you talking about committing sexual assault? Yeah
[00:08:40] Like all your nipples are looking great today
[00:08:46] Any yeah, what's your star sign sweetie nice
[00:08:50] Pinching your nips with your fucking dinosaur claw. They're calling them the dinosaur rapists
[00:09:00] Anyway, I was just not prepared. I didn't know where a pussy was I didn't even know how to go low and this isn't college though
[00:09:08] I was 18 a freshman freshman master for an agrophy at that point. No, dude
[00:09:13] It's there's some different what you get in the room with a
[00:09:15] No, yeah, but I had I didn't I wasn't I had only hooked up with
[00:09:22] Three girls until then and there was kiss me just kid
[00:09:24] It was suck is it getting some titties in my mouth and rubbing pussies from the outside and you're right
[00:09:30] You're pussy to her pussy. I'm gonna rubbing pussies. Well rubbing there's three girls
[00:09:34] I wasn't rubbing my pussy. You had a three-some make-out triple. Oh, man three different. I'm saying is until
[00:09:40] I'd only seen six titties total sure and whatever. I'm only counting the titties
[00:09:46] I thought one of those Harry Potter houses called scissoring
[00:10:01] And they're off and it's fatly rubbing their pussy yeah, they're a they're a coven of badass
[00:10:19] Also people I'm the courage I'll be peeking in and out of what the actual
[00:10:26] Just like when you're fucking up real bad guitar hero
[00:10:34] Wait with this girl in college I just got into she invited me to bed and I got in fully clothed like khakis on
[00:10:40] I still do that shoes on I'm not shoes, but everything else legit. Yeah, I thought through the zipper
[00:10:46] Respect and that was back in my day. Do you want to know how good I was a fashion? Yeah?
[00:10:50] I was a big white long t-shirt. Yeah, and then graphic tea short sleeve over top
[00:10:56] Oh, I like that. That was my kind of a mark echo
[00:11:02] Was so that was a big boy stop early to mid knots. Mm-hmm. That was a look
[00:11:08] That was probably late late odds when you're in college. Oh, seven. Oh, seven. Oh, wait big fat guy skate
[00:11:15] I was not a skate shoes. You're I was in a deed is I was a sombas guy and actually is probably a classic look at
[00:11:22] Indoor soccer shoes. I used to love playing indoor soccer brother. Mm-hmm. I was a wizard out there
[00:11:28] Do you about door to door soccer and what's that about exactly?
[00:11:31] I don't know you lack on a door. Yeah, you're gonna play soccer kick someone the fucking face. Yeah, yeah
[00:11:38] Very or you could paint your balls to look like soccer balls
[00:11:43] That'd be cool and then get a little referee outfit for cock
[00:11:46] That'd be sick. Maybe a little whistle that you're digging and blow through it
[00:11:51] Yeah, or you blow you fart. Yeah, you put a whistle in your ass about that your dick gets off to get a red card
[00:11:58] Yep, maybe there's a lot of different stuff like that we could get into soccer situation
[00:12:08] This was like a hotter version of this girl. Although I guess did I know this girl yet?
[00:12:13] Was this my type even before her? Huh interesting. Maybe anyway, she had
[00:12:19] Short this is the dream this is the dream back to the dream and I'm fucking you're from behind and it's just like tight
[00:12:25] I like the idea of this becoming just a dream analysis. Why not dude and the analysis doesn't happen. No, it never happened
[00:12:33] I am I'm kind of scared what the analysis will be this way. I would describe myself as Freudian
[00:12:41] Because you want to fuck your mom he does
[00:12:43] No, you don't have to there's more there's a lot of other doing cocaine and wine to fuck your mom
[00:12:49] That's it. No, there's other ways to be fucked up that you could be Freud Freud, dude getting pussy from your mom
[00:12:55] That's a great for it had a patient that would spill a gun himself all the time
[00:12:59] Mm-hmm and then he figured it out. It was because he loved beating off too much and he loved the frothy loves being covered in
[00:13:07] Come damn what a genius. It took the mind of Freud
[00:13:10] To come up with that. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, and that's the basis for everything we know about the human brain
[00:13:17] Yeah, I love the guys that shit on Freud as if you would ever contribute anything like to be cool
[00:13:25] No, you know, oh, it's completely debunked. So that's all fake. That's a thing. Yeah. Yeah, yeah
[00:13:31] People are constantly shit right your own book. Yeah, right?
[00:13:35] Um, wait, what's the dream because the dream is I'm fucking this girl from the back
[00:13:40] In her pussy nice style and her titties are bobbling and harasses tight
[00:13:45] She's a very hot woman and then she's got this curly like nice long hair
[00:13:50] And then she turns her face and it's my friend Tommy's face
[00:13:57] And the beautiful curly hair turns into he's got this little fucked up clown afro kind of like what Ian has
[00:14:02] Mm-hmm, but even worse imagine worse version of Ian's hair
[00:14:06] And it's just like Tommy and he's like laughing and smiling at me
[00:14:10] He's like yeah, you're by and it was I like got up like
[00:14:14] It was a it was like a pure nightmare. It was a fucked up sex streams, and I was like
[00:14:21] When I was like 13 hell yeah like yeah like it would be like it was never there was never any kind of like satisfaction
[00:14:28] Yeah, well yeah, that's but I was having a great time and he's basically like
[00:14:33] Morphin to amorphous things or like it would be like dismembered bodies and shit or like falling into a void
[00:14:40] Damn for me. It's always like being on the way to do something
[00:14:45] But never actually getting there like I used to have I had a I fucking yeah
[00:14:49] Like I remember like I had one like a couple girlfriends ago where we were in the car and I was driving
[00:14:54] And she was like I'm so horny like find a place for us to fuck and I was like driving around
[00:14:59] Frantically trying to find a place to fuck but like I couldn't actually end up finding the place to Jesus
[00:15:05] Yeah, one of my favorite sex streams of all time was it was it was with
[00:15:11] Trish Stratus of the WWE yeah and classic diva Hall of Fame
[00:15:16] I might have and I used to by the way beat all one of my favorite beat off destinations back in the days of AOL
[00:15:21] Dot com was there was a website that just had like pictures of divas where you could see their nipples
[00:15:28] Sable save it was in there. There was one there's one Stephanie man
[00:15:33] Picture where her tits were big and out but not in like she was wearing a wife feeder
[00:15:39] I've checked off that quite a bit. Was it a real picture? It was a real picture, but she wasn't nude
[00:15:43] She just her titties were kind of prompt prominent. Yes
[00:15:45] I there's a video of Trish Stratus instead of Trish Stratus's piss drink is okay
[00:15:53] It's a Roman guy you know wrestler piss drink is okay. Her name is Pizz a woman named piss
[00:16:03] Yeah, I like that I was thinking it's like a Roman piss drink
[00:16:12] Yeah, it's piss it's piss my name is piss. Yeah pissing me
[00:16:20] Yeah piss piss got her dad's credit card
[00:16:25] Anyway, she's in the middle of the ring and I come out and she just lets me put my she just lets me touch her pussy
[00:16:31] Like in a ring and it's full of people like it's like a crowd arena. Yeah, and everyone's like cheering me on as I feel
[00:16:39] Squishy pussy for the first time and in my head I
[00:16:43] Was like wow, I suppose these are squishy. I'm gonna need you to take one for the team
[00:17:04] We got it come on man, this is fucked up dude come on dude
[00:17:10] I'll do it if you say something nice. Oh, okay. Oh
[00:17:13] Oh shit, Nick just killed himself. I killed
[00:17:28] It'd be pretty tight if I cut my head off of the sword
[00:17:32] Yeah, or you put a claymore in your mouth and then jump forward so you
[00:17:37] To stab yourself through the brain with a giant sword. I don't think you could do it. I know it would be impossible
[00:17:46] You could have someone do it to you or you could build a machine and build a machine that way you sort of kill yourself
[00:17:55] I think the funniest way would be to go one of those places where they do like a Porsche experience where you can rent a racecar
[00:18:00] Mm-hmm, and then you just fucking whip that bad boy into a jersey wall
[00:18:05] What honestly rock. Yeah, that would be a really funny way to kill you
[00:18:13] In front of a bunch of like rich guys in their spoiled sons
[00:18:17] Yeah, there's a fact if you really wanted to be here you head on collide with one of them. Yeah, that would be funny
[00:18:23] There's someone else with you. Yep. Thanks. I'm fucking make sure it's like a bad, you know CEO or something
[00:18:30] But those guys probably just half-porsches. Yeah, don't kill some fucking poor asshole that loves cars
[00:18:34] I would do it. I would do a big day. I would do a little style. Yeah. Yeah, I would kill if you could blow up any
[00:18:41] Headquarters kill yourself what which one would it be and on what date would you do it?
[00:18:48] Any head swarters any like a business campaign?
[00:18:51] Office and headquarters, but it has to be a specific location and how would you do it? I don't know
[00:18:57] We're all thinking the same place right now. It's super Tuesday. We're all thinking the same place
[00:19:01] But I don't want I don't want to be bad for the move. What time would you do it?
[00:19:06] Nick, you know that that's something that
[00:19:10] I'm when how would you do it specific and explicit
[00:19:17] All right, I'll make your coffee. Thank you
[00:19:26] Did you know Adam's middle name is Beth? I didn't know that. Yeah, I mean we're looking at his birth certificate in the social security
[00:19:34] Not the car the other day. Yep. Well, he's in the bathroom and his middle name is Beth. That's true. Yeah
[00:19:49] It's not picking you up Adam. Yeah, it's not coming on the mic. The mic. It's not picking up
[00:19:54] It's not hearing you say you guys can't hear but Adam saying that's right. My name is Beth
[00:20:02] Bethany Beth Israel is a Jews love saying Beth. They got a lot of places. So Bethany is oh, yeah
[00:20:09] I guess I didn't think of Bethany as a name and also Elizabeth as a name. Mm-hmm
[00:20:14] Is Bethany a biblical name? I think so. Yeah, Elizabeth definitely is Beth al-Anina
[00:20:30] So his his name in in Hebrew means Adam Devon's house party
[00:20:38] That's his parents name. They're like he's he's going to get the shit of your stupid credit
[00:20:45] You've been credit did this been some stinkers did I feel so bad for the guys that got that shit
[00:20:52] Yeah, I was on a seesaw show. Oh, that was so funny. I see so everyone's like yeah, it's happening
[00:20:58] And you paid $600 to do a seesaw show. Hell yeah, no residual. What was it? $600 buyout?
[00:21:04] I don't know. It was like they fucking you know what they did
[00:21:07] They just filmed New York's funniest of Caroline
[00:21:09] I remember that because if it was just like hey, do you want to do
[00:21:11] Like I wouldn't like you know, they were doing that the live agathum on access. Yes. I was like, I'm not submitting
[00:21:20] Do that bomb would be funny or do that just like yeah
[00:21:25] Greg Stone had a funny stuff that just doing racist jokes hold
[00:21:32] Greg Stone was drunk as shit when he did his it was pretty funny
[00:21:35] Shout out to the boy stone. Yeah, how come they got a towel on their head, but they smell like they're never taking a shower in their life
[00:21:42] That's why I want to know whoo. Yeah. Thank you. This is gotha gotham comedy bar on access on access tv
[00:22:00] Which doesn't make any sense to me. Yeah, what are they looking for the so true to see if it's a
[00:22:06] Is that a different though? Is that a different Chinese guy or is it just me? I can't tell that's good. Yeah. Who is that?
[00:22:20] Where's that is that my dad or is that my dad or my son or my wife?
[00:22:25] I can't really tell what the hell is that what was the public?
[00:22:33] You've been running the life for 25 minutes
[00:22:40] Is that Jackie Chen is that chairman now
[00:22:44] Is that the chairman over there? I can't who the hell is that?
[00:22:51] Maybe you should try opening your eyes your dumb cocksucker
[00:22:57] Maybe they'll be able to see a little bit better and it's and it was strangely famous people hosted those
[00:23:02] Yeah, like it was like what like I feel like Tracy Morrath was the one. Yeah
[00:23:10] They got to get both sides of spectrum. It's true
[00:23:13] I fucked with Ralph though, dude. What was the local like public access stand-up show in DC?
[00:23:21] Was on capital something. Oh, yeah capital laughs was the capital laughs or capital
[00:23:27] Capital city showcase showcase. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know everything
[00:23:33] It's over. He didn't win Colorado, right? No, it's over
[00:23:38] It's fucking over. Well, it's time to make the switch. We're a trump podcast. This is now an
[00:23:44] Uh, uh, fascist podcast. You did it. It's what you wanted. Congratulations to the boys on reddit. Yep
[00:23:53] It's finally happening. You can think Elizabeth Warren for this one Elizabeth Warren. Good job girls. You did it. You showed us
[00:24:04] Congrats on a little backroom deal to be vice president of a losing ticket. Yep
[00:24:08] Fucking stay in super Tuesday to fucking sabotage Bernie. We could have julish president Bernie and rice president Andrew yan
[00:24:16] Bringing him back. How about that? How about we bring him back to rice president? That's true. That's true. This is not president
[00:24:24] My major was special does are my favorite part of this joke is that I straight up did not know that
[00:24:30] I thought you were just doing that's how Andrew Yang sounded. I didn't realize I had never heard him speak. I was like, oh
[00:24:36] Oh, that's pretty cool. Yeah, I forgot that you thought that you thought that you're yan
[00:24:39] You thought he's spoken a thick Chinese accent. He thought he sounded like you don't think you would have a star wars character
[00:24:46] Stop. Come on. I was just I didn't know I didn't know you know half an half from the refrigerator. Please. Come on, bro
[00:24:52] You're you're embarrassing me. I'm not embarrassing. Yeah, you're embarrassing yourself. No, you're embarrassing me
[00:24:57] Embarrassing comes from within i'm doing something nice for you and and you're making it
[00:25:01] I'm sure there's some sort of basketball coach quote about fucking
[00:25:06] Embarrassment, okay, don't bring it into the fact that I'm a sports every man believes anything retards
[00:25:27] A and bear rycement. It's a E M B r I c e
[00:25:37] Hold on. Let's try and spell embarrassment. Hold on. I can't say
[00:25:40] Andrew Yang being like yeah after the results the other night. I was pretty embarrassed
[00:25:52] I was pretty embarrassed by the way people
[00:26:03] Saying that and just seeing if anybody reacts
[00:26:07] Just trying to get the other people on the panel to react. So I was in bear ryce
[00:26:23] Because the next big thing is automation and that will in bear rice
[00:26:34] That will in bear rice a lot of the working people
[00:26:45] It's actually my name my wife's name is good. She's named for fortune cookie. Okay. Yeah
[00:27:01] It's hard to do his hands and hold a microphone. Yeah, I get that because his wife is hot by the way
[00:27:06] Yeah, well, you know she is she I haven't seen her
[00:27:10] Mm. She is the other day. I was squinting. It's like me. Is that my wife?
[00:27:33] We're actually uh, I'm starting a podcast machine givis
[00:27:36] He he reached out to the bull after that whole thing went down good good on yay
[00:27:42] They never linked out. Yes called Matt and they thought Matt and yang's ancient Chinese secret
[00:27:50] Oh, they cut out Shane. Yeah, just Matt
[00:27:54] Cusker and Andrew Yang and Shane Gillis, but it's called Matt and
[00:27:58] Yang and Shane's ancient Chinese. Yeah, yang and chain. Okay
[00:28:04] People always when they market dick pills, they always say that the Chinese have a solution
[00:28:09] Like with urban amenities. No, they're all fake though
[00:28:13] I know but I'm saying it's a marketing so effective marketing ploy
[00:28:17] Because you think Confucius probably you mean like at the deli
[00:28:23] I'm not really thinking of anything specific except one store in china town that I will or in flushing that I walk by
[00:28:28] Well, yeah, that's the Chinese neighborhood
[00:28:30] Yeah, but it's like a medicine. Yeah, like what is their meta what is eastern medicine?
[00:28:35] It's like powders like powdered horns and salves and uh tinctures
[00:28:43] Like they make shit their other medicines come in the same little shit that guacamole comes in
[00:28:54] I'm just laughing about Andrew Yang leaning into his entire Chinese
[00:29:00] Was yeah the other day my wife was binding her feet. Well, I was using my calculator
[00:29:07] The math thing was bold. Yeah, that was pretty. I'm just kidding obviously
[00:29:13] Yeah, that's pretty sick that he like had a math pin. It's like it's a like if bernie had a pin that said money
[00:29:19] Yeah, something it's pretty cool. Yeah, to be like yeah, I don't give a fuck. Well, it's because like 90
[00:29:28] Yeah, that's what you mean on the level. They don't give a shit. I mean they're like basically they're white people. They're white people
[00:29:34] Yeah, they ain't fucking it's to the same degree that fucking like in dns or anyone else gives a shit
[00:29:40] It's Asian women. They get upset. Mm. It's the a av Asian women. That is true. Mm-hmm. Yeah
[00:29:47] Aquafinas exactly she stopped doing it now that she's famous. Yeah, yeah, but she gets a pass
[00:29:52] I can't wait to start doing it once I'm famous
[00:29:55] I'm doing your black set. Yeah, no, yeah
[00:29:59] Just really clean up my act elite the podcast
[00:30:02] Really put everything into acting. Yeah, try to transition into acting is 31 years old
[00:30:08] But you only do black voice in your mouth once once I've done a couple of appearances on Ellen
[00:30:15] You know, uh-huh. I'm on a general hospital
[00:30:18] Yeah, for sure daytime should you're thinking daytime tv?
[00:30:22] Um, yes, yeah, I'm on that show passions. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm
[00:30:28] Is that show been on the air in the last 20 years? I think I have a pat one of my passions is getting my dick sucked
[00:30:37] That is housewives sit on the on the washing machine doing the style of jacking off that women's do
[00:30:43] Women do on washing machines wash passions. Does that happen? I think it's like a thing that people say they do
[00:30:49] But I don't know if they actually do it. I'm just remembering the charlie rose side being
[00:30:55] Oh, yeah, yes. Yeah. Well, it won't air till next week. Yeah, a couple days ago. Good news. We're here tonight with uh
[00:31:04] I wish I could do charlie rose. Don't yeah
[00:31:07] It's so it's gonna be so funny to do a shittier version of the big
[00:31:14] That actually is pretty fun. It's the preview
[00:31:18] Next week there's gonna be a charlie rose bit. Yeah, and we're gonna be plugging dates that have already happened. Yes
[00:31:29] I'm gonna sit and just watch charlie rose and and sit by myself with headphones on
[00:31:35] And dial in charlie rose. I think you got it bro because you really there's so much there. Yeah, you know
[00:31:41] It was weird when they had him on the morning show. Yeah, he was on cbs morning show
[00:31:45] The fuck is that about good morning everyone my penis is hot my penis is hard a first thing in the morning
[00:31:51] Yeah, you're watching the news. Oh fuck what's wrong? He went in Minnesota. Yeah, you want to fuck
[00:31:59] I thought it for sure right now. It's it's the word. Here's where we are dude
[00:32:03] It's the scene in american history x when he takes his shirt off the bench and everyone sees the swastika
[00:32:09] I haven't seen the movie. We're in jail right now. Mm-hmm. And we're fucked bro getting
[00:32:15] Man, so wait, it's over you think it's not over
[00:32:19] But it's gonna keep it's gonna be a contested convention and then bloomberg and buddha jig and everyone's are gonna give him their delegates
[00:32:26] And then alienate bernie's one of the party and he's gonna lose to Trump
[00:32:31] Damn, Trump's gonna win again, huh? But we are pretty sick. I mean we knew
[00:32:35] No, we thought that if bernie could sweep on super few there was a couple of weeks of maybe hope but you knew
[00:32:47] The trump was elected that he was gonna be president for 16 years
[00:33:04] Four years I guess i'm sure he said motion and now we're gonna get the country we deserve
[00:33:10] We deserve trump 32 years of Donald Trump
[00:33:13] We sort of do also deserve to have biden versus trump just like two senile jerry that will be funny first of all debating
[00:33:20] Donald trump is not fucking senile and he's only gotten better and he will come on
[00:33:26] He's definitely he's definitely not he's not
[00:33:29] He's almost over words because he doesn't give a shit. There's a big difference
[00:33:32] No, dude, that's not always Donald trump is definitely in early days. He's just a dumb guy
[00:33:41] More elite and has ever dude biden has very
[00:33:45] Slammed on okay, but I don't know that that's true. Biden very clearly has the early stages of dementia and
[00:33:53] And uh, what if he dies during the campaign?
[00:33:57] Biden yeah, I don't know that would be pretty funny that would be and they'd have to give it to hillary clinton
[00:34:01] She would swoop in and leave when they'd have to give it there let her go let her get another elle under her belt. Mm-hmm. Yeah
[00:34:09] Goddamn it. Who's the guy that lost all the time?
[00:34:13] Uh, Biden dude. I used to be smart. I used to know this guy's name who look a democrat guy who lost Hubert home free no
[00:34:26] He ran a bunch of times. I think you're out of three times
[00:34:28] My friend after Nevada when everyone was really excited
[00:34:32] Bernie like one by huge margin my friend just said uh
[00:34:36] He said i'm a buffalo bills fan and I just never get excited about anything. I think that's a good lesson in this life. Yeah
[00:34:45] Fucking biden's dumbass dude. He's literally rich
[00:34:49] He's literally retarded and it's so funny the people that were like trump isn't like cognitively fit for the office that they're
[00:34:55] Actually choosing someone that's more retarded than trump
[00:34:59] It's like literally whose brain is like has to kill for this. She's gonna pop out of his ears. It's yeah
[00:35:06] Damn that corn pop video is fire though. That is absolutely got the man's got bars dude
[00:35:13] Just standing next to the like little little kid like little black kids at a pool talking about a guy
[00:35:20] Named corn pop 90 years ago who had a straight edge razor. Well, the one he just had an awesome one that was like
[00:35:28] He's like let this not ask you can do for the
[00:35:33] Oh, yeah, he forgot the Kennedy quote. Yeah
[00:35:37] He said, you know the you know the thing in 88 the first time he ran
[00:35:41] He was yeah, he's plagiarizing candidate. He was like plagiarizing quote like speeches and he was also like yeah
[00:35:47] You know like I I was a you know, I was top five in my law school class
[00:35:55] He's like I graduated with three degrees from undergraduate. He like graduated with one
[00:35:58] He would just like openly lie about himself who and also who cares about college. I'm not saying that that's like yeah
[00:36:04] Something that should even matter. But yeah, he was just like he was just he kept getting caught lying
[00:36:10] And whatever I mean this is not for our show what happened to uh, what's up with his son
[00:36:15] It's just son still getting pussy and shit. He's the coolest part of the whole thing
[00:36:19] Is he he's still getting pussy? What was this thing crack?
[00:36:23] He's smoking crank getting raw dog. He fucked his brother's wife. Yeah, his brother who died who died
[00:36:34] Right and bear rice. Oh, Andrea saying rice
[00:36:39] Because he's trying to just try to throw that out there. Yeah
[00:36:43] Try to get that going try to get hashtag embarrassed trending
[00:36:50] It turns out he owns the the patent the trademark on it bear rice. That keeps saying
[00:37:00] Thank you, Andrew. We understand you were embarrassed
[00:37:06] I guess not okay moving on. Yeah, fuck moving on to fucking Paul bagala
[00:37:21] Well, Chris Matthews is somewhere smiling right now, dude. Yeah
[00:37:25] Yeah, you know sexually harassing someone in his home. Is that true yang the other night?
[00:37:29] I can't like switch out of the two-fucking Kermit
[00:37:31] Yeah, it's kind of new entry yank the other night. You know, it's good. It's
[00:37:38] Andrew yank Andrew yank the other night you said you said you were in bear rice
[00:37:49] This is fucking was rice a racial slur a racial
[00:37:53] Uh directed at yourself. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah
[00:37:56] So where can I get some pussy? Yeah, can I get some pussy from an intern? He's like he's always screaming
[00:38:06] Yeah, it's not like a loud scream, but it's got green. It's got the timber of a scream. He's talking voices of scream
[00:38:14] Font size nine. Yeah, there you go. I guess tonight is Andrew Yang Yang. What do you have to say? I was really in bear rice
[00:38:40] Oh, yeah, just like making making like self-owning small dick jokes. Yeah
[00:38:53] That definitely was a style of a Chinese guy. Yeah
[00:38:59] A guy that was like my dick is small. Yeah, playing in all the stereotypes sure. I think we've all been there
[00:39:05] I've never met a Chinese person. That's it. You've never met a Chinese
[00:39:08] That's been like do you know there were a bunch in my high school? There were a lot more Filipinos. Yeah, well there you go
[00:39:14] They're always looking for each other what they're like who the hell is that? I can't
[00:39:23] Filipinos seem like a good-ass time, man. They got their food. They were fun, dude
[00:39:30] They were mad cool. Pinoids got big titties. Shut up. It's all my pinoys. Mm-hmm. They love Kobe
[00:39:36] They're really sad when he died. They got the mean yeah, they all have like Spanish names
[00:39:43] They're all named like Hernandez. That's probably because of colonization. Yeah, yeah
[00:39:49] Yeah, that's uh, that's always funny with with Filipinos. Yeah, very Catholic. I'm like, yeah. Oh, hello
[00:40:02] If you could have a Hispanic name, what would it be mine would be Juan Carlos?
[00:40:06] Everyone's with the big one Carlos. Well, I picked this one
[00:40:09] This would be like Mexican guys sitting around be like oh my god. If I was a white guy, my name would be John
[00:40:18] No, I could have the coolest name. My name would be John Miller
[00:40:22] No, one Carlos is so much cool with the John Miller and everyone would be like whoa
[00:40:32] To be John Miller. No the carla one Carlos is one name. It's John Charles
[00:40:39] John Charles. Yeah, if my name if I was white my name Carlos isn't Charles. I will be John Charles
[00:40:46] I would be his suit. Mm-hmm. That's good. J. C. My boss is a Jewish carpenter, baby. Yeah
[00:40:55] Juan Carlos. Yeah, it is. Juan is not John. Yes, it is. My name would be D
[00:41:01] Diego Conception Yawnee vagina, you penis see that's a much better
[00:41:06] No, and Diego. They did a lot more with I didn't say what I didn't say what the full name would be
[00:41:12] What would be Carlos what the El Pinasata de Virginia?
[00:41:39] Even Shora de Jesse remember when remember the ventur de Jesse the body
[00:41:47] Let's get that in there also. Yeah, I'll sneak that in right at the end. I'm Santo Schwarzenegger
[00:42:00] With my Italian I was thinking of walking the Joker scary
[00:42:07] What's walking the Joker scary also? Thank you Adam
[00:42:10] Who who started this whole riff me by asking that question? Yeah, you see that?
[00:42:15] That's true. You gotta get me fired up. It's an eco-system. No, he's got no
[00:42:19] He's got no one's got him. Juan Carlos is not bad either
[00:42:26] A good name for a gay guy or a guy who has sex
[00:42:31] Vaggio penisante and Vaggio penis. Yeah, well, I say that name to myself almost once a week
[00:42:36] Independent of you have ever sang wait, that's just like a
[00:42:43] It's perfect me and stavere like you know, we play the same instrument. Yeah, yeah
[00:42:48] I get it. Yeah, I say and I'm more of like kind of like a free jazz kind of guy. Yeah, I'm out here boom boom boom
[00:42:54] Yeah, yeah, I'm laying down the riffs. He's up. He's up right base. Yeah. Yeah. No, you know what it is
[00:43:00] I'm the rhythm guitar. You're the lead guitar. Yeah, I'm out here playing the power chords. Right the good the good shit
[00:43:06] Hitting the same notes over and over letting my boy go crazy off this shit though
[00:43:17] Yeah, I do you know with the simple one too is I often I just walk around my apartment pretending to be a real estate agent from stat in island
[00:43:24] Mm-hmm. Oh my god, but making phone calls. He's like, yeah, how you doing? My name's uh, Michael vagina
[00:43:30] Yeah, yeah, that's a good one. Michael vagina keep a simple
[00:43:34] Better put some stink on in vagiano or whatever. There's too much Michael diva, gino
[00:43:41] Just a masculine form. Yes, no, it's like it's a vagina before guys
[00:43:47] No, it's no, it's not like a girl thing no cuz my ancestors they got pussy
[00:43:52] They got they had a they got a lot of pussy shows like became the name. Yeah, no, you know, I mean, it's you know
[00:43:58] It's kind of named like a tough guy with that tough guy that gets his fucking
[00:44:02] Yeah, me. I mean I have I have it's my name. I'm telling you right. So anyway, that's what I'm saying
[00:44:07] Are you want to get the fuck out of here suck my cock and my car or what do you want to buy a house?
[00:44:14] I'm also real estate. That's the reason I'm calling but he's the thing though if you don't want to buy a house
[00:44:19] You just want to get into my fucking uh fuck yeah, I saw that movie gling Gary glimmer on
[00:44:25] Snow is like I want to be like the guy that makes $900,000 a year. Yeah, so I was thinking of the work of real estate class
[00:44:34] Yep, and now I now I make $25,000 a year. Yeah. Yeah, I have post commission post
[00:44:41] Pretext if I sell a single house which I have yet to do I've never done that ever with single one
[00:44:50] But when I do it at $25,000 just coming in nice. I'm on yeah
[00:44:55] I've been doing it about three and a half years drive it. I drive drive it used Lexus from yeah, I was thinking infinity. Yeah, exactly
[00:45:02] Yeah, I got a I got a tent kit on it. It's illegal. I could have sex like it sucked off
[00:45:06] No, and I say come over here and suck me off in the fucking infinity. I bought a Lexus with 300,000 miles
[00:45:15] You know, so that's who michael vagina. That's why i go vagina. Yeah
[00:45:31] That's the sitcom you like but it's just you don't actually see the dream you just see a guy
[00:45:38] Yeah, but you just see someone in bed. No you see them in their dream sucking you see the dream state
[00:45:45] You see like the the lens is kind of Vaseline do over a little bit
[00:45:48] You never shared a dream with us me and nick both open this episode sharing a dream
[00:45:52] Well, I said certain types of people don't dream
[00:45:57] What do you talk what if you have more of a reptilian brain?
[00:46:07] Survival in the moment. Yeah, this is gonna be a new era of come-town. What do you mean?
[00:46:12] I don't know. I fear the double trump era. I feel like I don't know
[00:46:16] I think maybe like birdie being the one cool Jew ever kind of protected me a little bit
[00:46:22] No, he's not next now that he's gone next gonna really let her rip and
[00:46:27] You know, I'm gonna take it. You know, I'll I'll be here for it, but
[00:46:30] So you or you could prove him wrong with a beautiful dream. Yeah, or you could run for president
[00:46:36] I can't run for president. Just think about it. Dude. I mean first of all everyone has a crush on you
[00:46:43] So you get the sweeties that want to suck you. Yeah, you could just be the president and then you can go do that
[00:46:49] That's how Donald Trump won and then you don't have to be on the show anymore
[00:46:52] Everyone wanted to fuck him. Are you trying to are you trying to kick off this? No, I'm trying to say I DM'd you
[00:46:58] And you're descended to the thread. I'm trying to solve this problem
[00:47:02] What's the problem of you wanting to get rid of me on the show again? No, no man of me being the president
[00:47:09] You have Bernie not being president. There's no more cool Jews left, dude
[00:47:13] I'm sorry and I'm not I'm a direct myself direct response to what you said. I said maybe you should run for president
[00:47:19] I can't run for president. You know that there's too much. There's too much
[00:47:22] Fucking too many skeletons. I'm gonna get I'm gonna get Shane Gillis. You know, there's there's been too many things said
[00:47:29] Too many wild and radical things said on this podcast. I said all no, I've said yeah
[00:47:35] You don't really talk that much. Yeah, like I'm fucked cuz I laugh at all the things. Yeah. Well, I laughed
[00:47:42] Yes, you're doing that. You're doing this thing. No, we're just saying you're gonna be fine
[00:47:49] You look people will stop listening to the show and then me and stop can finally have what we want
[00:47:55] What's uh back to just pure risk? That's right that honestly. Yeah, the ribs
[00:48:00] There is without the podcast the wrist would be so we just never hit the record button
[00:48:04] We just sit here with the headphones on the microphones and they would no joke. That would be a better show
[00:48:11] There was some way to not know we were if we were getting Truman showed. Yeah, the wrist would be so good
[00:48:16] The the honestly people have no idea how much better the off mic they're not even close bro
[00:48:22] And we decided on a whim. We're gonna try out the olive garden in times square days
[00:48:33] Or a fucking flight gets delayed and we're stuck in the airport. Oh my god. That was fun. Dude. Yeah top tier
[00:48:41] Fucked up on edibles. Nobody was there. I know
[00:48:44] And the show will ever know the power. We're talking about them. The hotel room. They'll never know what I'm sorry
[00:48:55] I'm sorry. I was looking for my phone. No reading the best reading that reading
[00:48:59] It doesn't make any sense. Does it make any sense?
[00:49:01] Stav and I in cleveland ate when we ate way too many edible edible. Oh, yeah laughing and Nick read that article to us
[00:49:11] That might be the hardest I've ever laughed in my entire life that article is so beautiful
[00:49:16] You'll never you'll never know when it was fucking pieces of shit. Yeah, I'm I honestly now
[00:49:23] I'm remembering now smiling and I have a huge smile across
[00:49:27] That is a fun setup. You just fucked up on edibles in cleveland sharing a bed
[00:49:40] Sharing a bad no we weren't sharing a bit because we're sharing a bad dude. We're sharing a room. You made me sleep on the trundle
[00:49:46] Well, I was injured dude. Well, he was injured but Nick had no excuse on the boss
[00:49:53] I'm the boss of this shop. He did Nick didn't say how would it look if this ever got out
[00:49:58] And no one would see it because it's just the three of us in a hotel room boss of the shop
[00:50:09] Beautiful stuff boss is such a cool word. They should take it away from people who are actual bosses
[00:50:16] I'm sorry to apply to cars and me when I'm when I'm checking out at
[00:50:27] They should say here's your coffee boss when yeah when I get that when you go to a Starbucks in massachusetts
[00:50:34] There you go boss. Yeah, there's the only times that you should you should hear coffee boss. Yeah
[00:50:42] Excuse me faggot. That was the brand. Would you say you wanted your coffee
[00:50:49] Uh, just oatmeal. Yeah, hey answering to it. Hey chinese guy. Would you want your coffee? I feel really you're
[00:51:05] So what's the dream Adam? Come on man. Well, I told you that dream about driving around trying to find a place to go
[00:51:10] That's right. That's right. But when you were talking about being afraid for girls to see your dick
[00:51:15] Yeah, it did remind me of something else. Wait, when did I say that?
[00:51:18] You were saying you just seen titties. You weren't prepared to fuck. It wasn't that was a friend. She would see my dick
[00:51:24] I just wasn't no not afraid to see your dick
[00:51:26] But you were like actually like I have to like do the thing actually to be fair probably
[00:51:33] He I'm sure he killed it the biggest loser tonight by far is mini my bloomberg his political consultants took him for a ride
[00:51:40] 700 million washed down the drain he got nothing for it, but the nickname mini mic
[00:51:45] And the complete destruction of his reputation way to go mike damn he did just get his ass. Yeah, he's right
[00:51:56] We're fucked dude. Yeah, I'm pretty depressed right now. Well, you can beat look this is the thing is like fucking
[00:52:09] Eviscerate these fucking people. Yeah, and we know that's gonna be so embarrassing. Yeah, that's gonna be worth
[00:52:16] We're it will be funny. I again, of course it will be funny and the debates between the two of them are gonna be
[00:52:21] But it's also like really fun. Look you don't get the shit. This is totally over though
[00:52:26] It's not totally over, but the party is like pretty much coalescing around Biden. Yeah, I
[00:52:32] Mean maybe I'm being a pessimist and I have this way till tomorrow. I had one and a half beer
[00:52:37] This is so funny with these they're getting all these so out of order
[00:52:43] Yeah, we're doing whether the anyway whatever whatever whatever we have tomorrow
[00:52:47] Well, Adam fucked up the schedule because he has to go take female self defense classes. That's not true
[00:52:54] I've got raped and he's when I used to take with he just that's not that's my purse. Yeah, that I don't know you stop
[00:53:09] And girls you're gonna look him right in the penis and say do not
[00:53:14] Exploit me in a section. That's my purse. That's my purse
[00:53:18] I don't take that's my body purse, which is my pussy. I don't
[00:53:23] I don't take the class. I work for the class where I'm the man that the women kicking the nuts
[00:53:29] That's true with no padding. Yeah with no padding
[00:53:32] I just get a little baby nuts can't even get hurt by a fool. You've seen my testicles and I'm baby
[00:53:37] I love me. Yes, I have and I said I accurately describe them as little baby nuts shut up
[00:53:52] A lot of people would have said I have baby nuts
[00:54:20] Damn dude, it's actually kind of fun to do when this late to yeah, we're recording this after 10 p.m. It's the latest episode
[00:54:27] I think we've ever done. No, that's not true. We still use your late
[00:54:31] A lot. I think we I don't think we've ever started back when I was in Casa del Ernest
[00:54:35] Yeah, I think we had we had an after dark episode. There's like around nine, but now we've done a couple that are pretty
[00:54:41] I mean, it wasn't like a regular ass thing, but we did do a historic always just gaslighting us. No, you're a gaslighting dude
[00:54:48] No, you're always trying to gaslight. No, you've gaslit me. Who's the guy on the dairy box?
[00:54:53] This is fat what guy here was look at us cute. I can't even see mr. Roland's
[00:54:58] Guys now god damn. I wish I lived on a farm started the dairy business delivering milk to homes. All right
[00:55:04] This guy's hot dude in 1980. Oh, yeah, that guy is cool
[00:55:09] Roland G and Ella started in the dairy business learning mental homes in the park slope section of Brooklyn, New York
[00:55:17] In 1980 with his boss's retirement from the dairy business and his wife's encouragement
[00:55:22] Roland acquired his own route and formed the Roland dairy corp
[00:55:26] Learning the business from the ground up and with a keen sense of customer needs mr
[00:55:31] G and Ella his wife and a Maria sons Roland jr
[00:55:35] Anel Miguel and Juan wait, this guy's it not Italian
[00:55:42] Hispanic it was same jigoo jigoo googly
[00:55:47] Like but his wife is anamaria so and her sons are anel Miguel and Juan and a very dedicated diversified staff have built
[00:55:55] Roland dairy into the company that it is today
[00:55:59] But it's spelled Roland like like a wheel or a l l l n
[00:56:04] Keep rolling rolling rolling rolling. Fuck me. Fuck rolling rolling. Keep those keep those prices rolling
[00:56:12] Back in the back. Shout out back prices. Shout to the Walton family. Oh, yeah, our new
[00:56:21] Will you keep rolling rolling rolling suck my dick keep rolling rolling
[00:56:26] I mean, I understand being upset, but it's like
[00:56:29] It's just I mean, we've already been living in this world for four years. Oh, we've been living in it longer
[00:56:34] I know but I mean, it's like the worst case in there. No, I mean, I'm not I'm not
[00:56:38] You know it's twisted. It sucked for a long time
[00:56:40] But like this is like it does feel like this is the one kind of
[00:56:45] Chance yeah, we had a shot. Yeah that we had
[00:56:48] Yeah, we're fucked. We're fucked democratic party is gonna fucking
[00:56:55] Trump's gonna fucking keep winning. I mean, I feel bad for
[00:56:59] I don't know the people that have it the worst. We're fine. We're podcast. We're fine. Yeah, of course
[00:57:06] But uh, a lot of people have a really horrific life
[00:57:15] Fuck well, I guess it's time to keep doing drugs and trying to get pussy. Mm-hmm and not thinking about the world
[00:57:24] Doing the exact same thing I've done for the last 20 years
[00:57:27] Which is what you race is impressions and Chinese people. Yeah, it's worked out. I go
[00:57:32] Yeah, I'm gonna continue to not play for the future and the slightest. Yeah, me too. Think about anything
[00:57:41] Yeah, being 31 rocks. It is a nice age. I'm actually enjoying quite a bit because it's like you get to that age where it's like, you know
[00:57:50] You there's all these consequences you're supposed to have
[00:57:54] For not doing the right thing. Mm-hmm. They don't exist. Yeah, well, or they do exist. You don't care. Yeah, that's that's more true
[00:58:01] Yeah, but for the most part they don't exist
[00:58:04] Well, they don't exist for us because we got lucky in this shit exactly for us. They never accounts for luck
[00:58:12] They never account that is true, man. We did hit a lottery. Yeah, never
[00:58:17] They're never like you got to work hard or you know, who knows? Yeah, just give it just try just fucking fuck off
[00:58:26] Dependable than working hard for sure. Yeah, more people have a better life from getting lucky than from working hard
[00:58:34] Yeah, the notion that if you work hard your whole life your advanced your station in life is just a lie
[00:58:40] Yeah, that's what you get worse odds than just fucking around but if you get lucky
[00:58:48] You know get a sick tv and get some pussy three different
[00:58:52] Do a bunch of drugs doing drugs the order as much seamless as you want
[00:58:57] You're getting fatter, but whatever who cares you'll die when you're 40 again, but you actually haven't gotten fatter. I guess that's true. Yeah, you've lost weight
[00:59:07] I guess that's true. No, he hasn't I was being nice. Yeah, he's come on
[00:59:11] You were being nice. I was being nice to him. I'm gonna. I'm in the same. It was weird to
[00:59:16] I'm nice to stop all the time. What are you talking about? I'm actually a very nice guy if you're not you
[00:59:25] You have been nice to me in too long of the time
[00:59:28] You're doing nice thing. I'll tell you that I'm doing nice. You're doing one nice thing
[00:59:37] But you owe me one nice. All right. I'll think about it
[00:59:41] What about that Andrew Yang thing I said earlier
[00:59:43] That wasn't being nice to me. Would you say about it?
[00:59:47] Yeah, you think that was funny, but how would that be nice to Adam because it was funny?
[00:59:53] It's nice. He doesn't really care though. He doesn't. Yeah, I like things that are funny. Yeah
[00:59:57] That's what stuff I thought it was funny that he was putting rice in the mics when he says things that are right
[01:00:04] I like when a funny thing is said. No, I appreciate when a funny thing is said. You appreciate it
[01:00:08] You don't like it that much. Oh, of course
[01:00:10] And if it comes from Nick who's my friend and also someone that I I root for actively
[01:00:15] Is this how you feel or how you think you're supposed to feel
[01:00:19] What are you talking about? Damn here you were so Freud, dude. Yeah, what do you mean think I suppose and
[01:00:24] And do you ever think about doing cocaine?
[01:00:27] Or having sex with your mother it'd be funny if instead of cocaine me. It was really into weed
[01:00:40] Yeah, your mom's got a fat ass bro. Yeah, maybe would you do you really want to fuck his Mickey D's?
[01:01:00] Uh-huh just kidding bitch pick up those Mario Kart sticks kidding. Yeah
[01:01:04] Yeah, it's all of his all of his his writing is just sublime lyrics. Oh, yeah, dude
[01:01:10] Every man wants to find 40 ounces of freedom. That's true. Ain't that the truth brother? Yeah, you're mate
[01:01:17] You're your subconscious impulse is to fucking play hacky sack in the courtyard of
[01:01:23] A community college. Do you imagine it's so funny when you realize the people that made that music were all adults
[01:01:29] Yeah, it's so funny dude. I thought it was awesome when I was 11 years old. Yeah, right. I was like, oh, I was driving
[01:01:37] Brad and old died relatively young. I guess you're like what 26. Yeah, it came out after he died
[01:01:43] The oh, it didn't yeah, uh, I was in the car. I was in the car with jimmel
[01:01:48] Driving through Long Beach to San Diego. Oh the beach named after my dick. Well, where sublime is from
[01:01:54] And beach and I was like, oh, we're in Long Beach. We should listen to sublime
[01:02:00] and then I read the blurb that they have
[01:02:05] On apple music for the sublime album and it is the worst written
[01:02:10] It's the the fact that they're writing about sublime. It's like so fucking yeah. It was 28 when he died. So yeah, it was mad
[01:02:17] Yeah, I mean, but still dude. This is what he ate
[01:02:19] This is how so how apple music describes the self-titled sublime album
[01:02:28] Unruly in suance. What what's this word?
[01:02:32] Insusience? Let me see. Yeah, it's insusience. What's that word?
[01:02:41] Insusience insusience sublime's eponymous third venture packs bong powered summertime hits
[01:02:47] That made front man Bradley Noel immortal his final record which dropped weeks after his untimely death in 1996
[01:03:00] Massachusetts fucking he did yeah, we're fucked
[01:03:08] That fucking his final record which dropped weeks after his untimely death in 1996 was driven by
[01:03:13] slacker scott punk debauchery taking spectators on a wild ride fueled by tales of looting liquor stores
[01:03:24] April 29th 1992, Miami and popping a cap in sandshow the bouncy upstroke of santeria
[01:03:32] It's langerous rhythms and purial soul beguile
[01:03:38] 1990s alt rock which is this master which this masterpiece helped define but like can you imagine writing that about fucking sublime
[01:03:47] That's what it's like dude. I agree with you feel that way. I do feel that way. It is a good record. I listen to a lot
[01:04:20] I love music. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm trying to be a musician dude. I've got all these sick ideas for songs one of those about we
[01:04:28] And and going to the beer store dude. Oh, yeah, I love going to the beer store
[01:04:36] That's one of my favorite fucking feelings. Yeah
[01:04:42] And I can't handle of captain Morgan people relate to that dude about imagine being at the beat like going to but not at the beach at a beach town
[01:04:52] Three-quarter miles away. You never step into the water once. Yeah, never coming. Just getting high. Yeah, high as shit
[01:05:02] To the hotel room three and a half minute walk to the beach
[01:05:07] Look at the water getting into fist fights in the 7-Eleven parking lot going to jail
[01:05:16] Trying to run a train on a 16 year old Russian catching a salty chariot friends
[01:05:21] Yeah slapping around a Ukrainian girl that came to sell hermit crabs
[01:05:35] Yeah, you try to come over and have some fucking a lot hint a lot tortilla chips and have sex with me
[01:05:42] How you're fucking from Mexico the chips no there you've they said they're from you brain
[01:05:52] You you collately you trying to give me some brain bitch. Uh-huh
[01:05:57] Yeah, russia. That's crazy. Yeah, that's fucking crazy from from rocky beyond it's dead down. Trump shit. Is that true?
[01:06:12] Got another truth. Why do they always have seasonal employment from eastern europe in like beach sounds?
[01:06:18] It's like a thing in cape cod. There's like eastern european kids
[01:06:21] I'm worried because it's like, you know word of mouth like in russia. They're like you go to beach you get to america
[01:06:29] You go to america. Where does lifeguard? They have been seen america
[01:06:33] And this is i am from moscow is me moscow mario
[01:06:42] Ah well folks, thank you for listening to come town
[01:06:49] Dot com slash nick maulin stabi dot biz slash tour although by now, please buy tickets to national and louisville
[01:06:59] I will plenty of time if they don't sell out. I will cancel the show hometown dot events
[01:07:04] If he's even one one ticket off one ticket sure it's canceled the show will be canceled
[01:07:10] Yeah, come down to dot events. We're in australia and a going to grace land instead
[01:07:17] That's pretty sick. I will go to I will spend the entire time in grace land
[01:07:20] That's pretty cool. And if you come up to me and say hi, I will be very friendly to you
[01:07:25] Because i'll be happy because this is a living cancel
[01:07:34] Visiting a place goes to torus attractions. He doesn't even really care for
[01:07:40] Goes oh, okay. Oh nice and i go back to my hotel and masturbate to the year 2000
[01:07:58] Uh, yep, see us in australia see us on the road come to funny mums tomorrow
[01:08:07] Of we're not going to be doing funny mums on the 30th of this month
[01:08:13] Who cares who cares and then we're off on april until the 27th so we're taking a little break
[01:08:20] Uh, we have three shows this month the ninth the sixteenth and the 23rd
[01:08:25] That's right. See you there motherfucker. Bye