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Bonus 185 - Cum Town Premium 5/10/2020

Cum Town | Premium | 05/11/2020

[00:00:00] Ooh, you got your cute little lacoste from other's day.
[00:00:03] Yeah, you look cost on.
[00:00:04] Wow, what do we, what do we, I didn't realize we're podcasting with a millionaire with,
[00:00:09] with the coolest kid in school.
[00:00:11] Yeah.
[00:00:12] Oh, he's muted.
[00:00:13] Yeah.
[00:00:14] Nice.
[00:00:15] Very cool.
[00:00:16] Yeah.
[00:00:17] Why is your shit TKNG, HJHOB, JV, CZ?
[00:00:21] This is, yeah, this is, I like the old computer Fox out, we get a new computer and when there
[00:00:26] is zero plans to test that shit, not looking into it, not even a second before 3PM.
[00:00:32] We're going to wait until it's time to go and then, which, hey, I love it, dude.
[00:00:39] That's, that's kind of, that's my, shoot by the head style.
[00:00:42] Yeah.
[00:00:43] I just love it now.
[00:00:44] Yeah.
[00:00:45] You know what I love about the quarantine era?
[00:00:48] The same is, is that the technical fuck ups are now democratically assigned to all of us.
[00:00:56] That's true.
[00:00:57] My mic didn't work that one time.
[00:00:58] Instead of it all being on me every fucking time when it's just like, dude, the problem
[00:01:04] is computers.
[00:01:05] I agree with that.
[00:01:06] And Bill Gates.
[00:01:07] Yeah.
[00:01:08] And he's going to do a vaccine that makes us all gay out here.
[00:01:13] The Zionist techno, techno disco, the disco, the disco, the agenda.
[00:01:20] Absolutely.
[00:01:21] How do I get my name there?
[00:01:24] You have to.
[00:01:26] I'm tired of these disco crats.
[00:01:28] I agree.
[00:01:29] Just because you can actually change Adam's name to whatever you want.
[00:01:33] I don't know if you can do that.
[00:01:34] Yeah.
[00:01:35] Just change it to whatever you want.
[00:01:36] Yeah.
[00:01:37] I don't know.
[00:01:38] Probably because when you had the zoom, maybe you didn't set your computer up the right
[00:01:40] way.
[00:01:41] Yeah, I just got this computer yesterday.
[00:01:43] So yeah, it does happen.
[00:01:45] I don't think it fucking matters.
[00:01:48] Honestly, I used what do you call time machine backup.
[00:01:52] So it should have all the same settings as the last computer.
[00:01:54] Yeah.
[00:01:55] It'd be cool if whatever setting carried over is the one to make sure computer crash.
[00:01:59] And then we're like, we're like dog, get a new.
[00:02:03] Get another one.
[00:02:04] Get another one.
[00:02:05] Just have like a $3,000 week habit.
[00:02:11] You're like, I twitching.
[00:02:12] You're like, if I say anything, they'll call me Jewish.
[00:02:16] Okay.
[00:02:17] I can't be Jewish about it.
[00:02:21] The accusations of cheapness that really push my hand.
[00:02:24] I got to say.
[00:02:25] Of course.
[00:02:26] Of course.
[00:02:27] I wasn't even cheap.
[00:02:28] I got my last computer like we don't even have to make the accusations.
[00:02:33] We just go, oh, you don't want to buy a new computer.
[00:02:37] Oh, interesting.
[00:02:38] Oh, that's fine.
[00:02:39] Yeah.
[00:02:40] I'm not making any kind of suggestion as to your motivations or lack thereof.
[00:02:44] I just, you know, I just wonder what would possess somebody to be so apprehensive towards
[00:02:53] purchasing something.
[00:02:54] Yeah.
[00:02:55] Some sort of Zionist persuasion.
[00:02:58] I keep fucking those buttons up.
[00:03:02] This is, that's the one that's, I keep forgetting.
[00:03:05] You're, yeah.
[00:03:06] I feel like when I'm dusty, you're rusty.
[00:03:08] When I play, no, when I play the wrong one, I feel like I need like an Eastern European
[00:03:12] woman just batting the back of my hands with a ruler.
[00:03:16] Yeah.
[00:03:17] You do it again.
[00:03:18] It's like just some impoverished.
[00:03:21] A chick with like a with like Elvis sideburn.
[00:03:26] I'm sitting at a, in front of a piano with a bucket overturned and there's a bathtub with
[00:03:31] a turd floating in it.
[00:03:33] No shower curtain.
[00:03:34] Mm hmm.
[00:03:35] It's a cold water flat.
[00:03:37] That's right.
[00:03:38] Lowries side 19, 19 15.
[00:03:41] And I'm like, my Eastern European mother is beating me so I can learn how to be good at
[00:03:45] the soundboard.
[00:03:46] That's what I'm thinking about.
[00:03:48] That's why we don't produce podcasts.
[00:03:50] Like we eat like the old generations.
[00:03:52] Yeah.
[00:03:53] Mm hmm.
[00:03:54] That's, they used to have feeling to them.
[00:03:55] And now everything's just now it's this disco, kratik.
[00:03:58] This guy, kratik.
[00:03:59] Zionist stuff.
[00:04:00] It's this disco, krat.
[00:04:02] There's no feeling to it.
[00:04:06] I watched a bit of that, that, that unorthodox show.
[00:04:10] I, my dad, my dad wanted to watch it as a family.
[00:04:13] Oh yeah.
[00:04:14] We watched the whole thing.
[00:04:16] It's weird because it's like, all right, the, the, the, the acidic Jews are the bad guys.
[00:04:20] And it's like that I get, but then they're also supposed to be the girl is supposed to
[00:04:24] be the good guy, the protagonist.
[00:04:26] That's where I draw the line.
[00:04:28] But she's, she's a bad wife.
[00:04:30] That's not a Jewish.
[00:04:31] It doesn't make any sense.
[00:04:32] I agree.
[00:04:33] Right.
[00:04:34] I watch the first, I watched almost all the first three except the end.
[00:04:38] And that's crazy.
[00:04:39] Darth Vader is evil the whole time.
[00:04:40] Yeah.
[00:04:41] Yeah.
[00:04:42] Everybody knows that.
[00:04:43] Definitely.
[00:04:44] My analogy is not only perfect, but flawless.
[00:04:47] Also.
[00:04:48] Yeah.
[00:04:49] Now it'd be funny too, if it was like, I know it's a doc, but then it's a story of like a
[00:04:53] woman that left Williamsburg.
[00:04:55] And then it's like, I'm not a fan of it.
[00:04:57] I'm not a fan of it.
[00:04:58] I'm not a fan of it.
[00:04:59] I'm not a fan of it.
[00:05:00] I'm not a fan of it.
[00:05:01] I'm a fan of it.
[00:05:04] I'm not a fan of it.
[00:05:05] Barely old, I'm a fan of it.
[00:05:07] I'm a fan of it, I'm a fan of it.
[00:05:10] Ox, but then it's a story of like a woman that left Williamsburg to escape the his
[00:05:13] seeds.
[00:05:14] So she moves to Berlin.
[00:05:15] But she's actually just some like, Presbyterian girl who moved there for Minneapolis through
[00:05:16] years prior.
[00:05:17] She's like, I just have to get away from these his acidic tunes.
[00:05:18] I have to get out there really fucking annoying.
[00:05:20] I have to move the Berlin, the yeah, no, I mean.
[00:05:23] The first episode, like they're breaking into a woman's apartment or like kicking down
[00:05:27] the door and being like, we're going to raise the rent.
[00:05:30] And if you don't literally happen.
[00:05:32] If you don't tell us where she is, we're going to we're going to cut off your
[00:05:37] Wi-Fi and then what?
[00:05:41] Wait, what is this show? It's just about Jews.
[00:05:43] It's about a it's like based on a true story.
[00:05:46] This, well, actually, Adam, this is kind of your territory.
[00:05:50] Some chick is unhappy in her marriage.
[00:05:53] She's an Orthodox wife.
[00:05:54] She got the wig on.
[00:05:55] She got the wig and everything and she wants to leave.
[00:05:59] Oh, she's been taking she's been taking piano lessons in secret.
[00:06:03] She wants to be a musician.
[00:06:05] She's trying to get her or so box, you know, railed out by some some German.
[00:06:10] Oh, yeah.
[00:06:11] It's actually a pretty good show.
[00:06:13] I got to say, does she get stuffed by somebody else?
[00:06:16] Yes.
[00:06:17] How about like a white supremacist Mexican guy that's like they consider
[00:06:21] himself not CEO show.
[00:06:22] Yeah, we're part of the Nazi also movement.
[00:06:27] It's the Nazi, Kano movement.
[00:06:30] I'm just kidding.
[00:06:31] Chicano, my Nazi also.
[00:06:34] We love we love Jitler.
[00:06:37] We got I love we just love his style.
[00:06:40] Wasn't that Hitler wasn't that one of Hitler's plans?
[00:06:43] He was going to fucking post up in Mexico, get some tacos and then attack
[00:06:47] either you got us in the World War one, right?
[00:06:50] The Zimmerman node.
[00:06:51] Yeah, yeah, you know, came up with that shit.
[00:06:54] It was the Zimmerman node.
[00:06:55] And then it was also the bombing of the less attaining.
[00:06:58] It got us into World War one.
[00:07:00] Yeah, when the you vote, didn't they fuck some kind of some kind of British
[00:07:04] submarine in World War two or something?
[00:07:07] World War one was they the journey.
[00:07:10] I guess World War two.
[00:07:11] You're right.
[00:07:12] The lose the world war two was when they fucked our ashes in Pearl Harbor.
[00:07:15] Yes.
[00:07:16] That's why we got in the mix.
[00:07:17] Yeah.
[00:07:17] World War one was the Zimmerman node and the the lust.
[00:07:21] The less attaining.
[00:07:22] But it's crazy.
[00:07:23] The German subs used to just be like fucking chilling off the coast of Long Island.
[00:07:26] Yeah, that's very close.
[00:07:28] Yeah.
[00:07:29] And they never fired.
[00:07:30] Yeah, just fucking just giving Billy Joel a hard time.
[00:07:34] Yeah.
[00:07:35] Just all those down Easter Alexa guys.
[00:07:37] He was just on his boat trying to cheat on the boat.
[00:07:39] I'm talking about socks, Billy Joan.
[00:07:41] I'm talking about leaves for faggots that song.
[00:07:44] Yeah.
[00:07:45] What do you what do you talk gay like that?
[00:07:47] How do like old school New York guys talk like Islanders?
[00:07:51] I think they say wake instead of work.
[00:07:54] It's pretty nasal.
[00:07:55] They say no.
[00:07:56] They're white.
[00:07:57] That's like a New Orleans thing.
[00:07:58] No, dude, because I just watched Pelham one, two, three and every the original and everybody
[00:08:02] said it like that.
[00:08:03] So good.
[00:08:04] Yeah, but that's I'm talking about I'm talking about Islanders like Bayman.
[00:08:06] I'm not talking about like old New York City guys.
[00:08:10] They probably some more New England back in the fucking back in the like.
[00:08:15] What is it?
[00:08:17] 1800s and shit up until that long Island was just like fucking, you know, it was like
[00:08:22] water or Hicks.
[00:08:23] Yeah.
[00:08:24] Yeah.
[00:08:25] Yeah.
[00:08:26] Yeah.
[00:08:27] Yeah.
[00:08:28] Well, that's what whole down Easter Alexa is the story of those people, which is the entirety
[00:08:32] of my knowledge of is when I say this, when I say this with authority, I'm just reciting
[00:08:38] what I've learned from the down Easter Alexa music video.
[00:08:41] It is a his own Mexican suck my fucking penis.
[00:08:45] Yeah, and they kept having to move further and further out into the island.
[00:08:48] And now there's no island for left for Islanders like me.
[00:08:51] That's fucked up, dude.
[00:08:52] Yeah.
[00:08:53] Because it because what because of Guido's because of the bitch that fucking the long
[00:08:56] Island medium.
[00:08:57] Well, actually, yeah, Robert Moses, Robert Moses fucking.
[00:09:00] Yeah.
[00:09:01] Yeah.
[00:09:02] Rich people, rich people move to the North Shore and then the South Shore was all gutted
[00:09:06] by fucking Moses who both turned it all into public beaches for New York.
[00:09:10] Like a lot of cops moved out to Long Island city workers.
[00:09:14] Dude, if I see anybody that was related to Robert Moses, I'm going to fuck them up.
[00:09:18] Yeah.
[00:09:19] For one, you make everything highways.
[00:09:21] You should just go with his religion.
[00:09:23] And then was he one?
[00:09:26] He was most name is Moses.
[00:09:28] So I didn't got you right.
[00:09:30] Let me go.
[00:09:31] Let me go.
[00:09:32] Let me go to an Orthodox.
[00:09:33] Yeah.
[00:09:34] Let me go to an Orthodox fucking temple.
[00:09:36] I'm like, this is for fucking Robert Moses failed reforms.
[00:09:40] You fucking heaps.
[00:09:42] That book, that book is responsible for teaching me one piece of information that I should
[00:09:46] never have been allowed to know, which is that the case was invented by German Jews
[00:09:52] to thumb their noses at Russian Jews.
[00:09:55] Yes.
[00:09:56] German Jews are the wasps of the Jews.
[00:09:58] Yeah.
[00:09:59] Yeah.
[00:10:00] They're like, we don't want to live next to these, you know, these like kikes and they're
[00:10:02] talking about Russian Jews.
[00:10:04] Wow.
[00:10:05] And then some like some drunk Irish person heard it and was like, so that's what you call
[00:10:09] all you guys.
[00:10:10] No, I like what you got.
[00:10:13] I like what you got going there, boy.
[00:10:15] Oh, we got our name for all of them.
[00:10:18] Hi, Patty.
[00:10:19] How are you?
[00:10:20] I got got a no.
[00:10:23] Yeah.
[00:10:24] No, they did a cell phone.
[00:10:29] Ah, six cell phone.
[00:10:32] They've done an old goal.
[00:10:35] Yeah, I'm trying to get head from the girl from unorthodox and I pull her wig off.
[00:10:42] She's I think she's designed this plant.
[00:10:45] I'm going to wear it.
[00:10:46] I'm going to take her.
[00:10:47] I'm going to fucking Orthodox.
[00:10:48] Go on.
[00:10:49] I'm going to take her wig off and I'm going to put it on my own head while I get head from
[00:10:51] her.
[00:10:52] She's kind of cute.
[00:10:53] That's the ultimate side disrespect to her husband.
[00:10:54] Yeah.
[00:10:55] She looks like she wears 10 pounds.
[00:10:58] She's she's she's small.
[00:10:59] She's like five one.
[00:11:01] No, thanks.
[00:11:02] I thought it was going to be one of those like no, she's not.
[00:11:04] She's not.
[00:11:05] Sometimes you drive.
[00:11:06] Sometimes you drive.
[00:11:07] You drive.
[00:11:08] Yeah.
[00:11:09] You're imagining the ones that like fucking go around where you think and you're going
[00:11:13] to be like fucking some like Italian mom from the 60s.
[00:11:16] That's basically that's true.
[00:11:18] Where you and your friends going?
[00:11:20] This point of those those ladies.
[00:11:23] That would be awesome.
[00:11:24] Yeah, just playing stick ball.
[00:11:27] You know, you're a team.
[00:11:28] You fuck somebody's mom.
[00:11:29] That's where you have like New York sex fantasies about a life that didn't even exist for your
[00:11:34] own father, which is just like like, yeah, like, oh, that's that was the way to do it.
[00:11:41] I miss it.
[00:11:42] I miss the is to be stick ball in 2014 when we all moved to New York.
[00:11:47] Yeah, twenty four twenty six year old men playing catching a catching a trolley and stick
[00:11:53] ball.
[00:11:54] The mom from the movie frequency.
[00:11:56] I've never seen frequency.
[00:11:58] Dude, that was you should do that.
[00:12:00] You know, it would be a nice double feature hit me with it.
[00:12:03] And having another like, Oh, I wish I smoked weed, but I would do like I would make it
[00:12:07] a blockbuster night.
[00:12:08] I don't know what I was doing.
[00:12:10] Frequency and hollow man.
[00:12:12] What's hollow, man?
[00:12:13] The Evan bacon.
[00:12:14] Yeah, the Kevin bacon movie where he could they use science to make him invisible and
[00:12:19] he immediately just starts raping people and getting across.
[00:12:22] Was he like a good guy before that?
[00:12:26] I think so.
[00:12:27] Yeah, I can't.
[00:12:28] I mean, I remember the plot.
[00:12:29] I think it's that I'm sure I'm fucking it up.
[00:12:31] You know what's also good in that time period of stir of echoes, which is kind of just a
[00:12:35] rip off of the shining.
[00:12:37] Mm hmm.
[00:12:38] But I never saw it.
[00:12:39] You're nostalgic for a very specific three month period of blockbuster night.
[00:12:45] I feel like that was probably the beginning of the summer when those movies came out the
[00:12:48] rent on video.
[00:12:50] Yeah, we never we never rented the new ones.
[00:12:54] Never.
[00:12:55] It was always it was library for me.
[00:12:57] That's where I saw all my movies typically.
[00:12:59] Yeah.
[00:13:00] History men at the library.
[00:13:02] One time I remember finding out they had movies at the library and I was like, really?
[00:13:06] Well, the library was gay.
[00:13:08] Yeah.
[00:13:09] But I mean, I like the library.
[00:13:10] I liked reading, but it's like it like it did, you know, because you don't really understand
[00:13:15] like it doesn't make sense that some things are you have to pay for everything.
[00:13:19] Right.
[00:13:20] Kind of like indoctrinated that as a kid that, oh, of course not.
[00:13:22] No information should be free.
[00:13:24] Right.
[00:13:25] Exactly.
[00:13:26] Oh, no.
[00:13:27] Yeah.
[00:13:28] No, you should never be entertained.
[00:13:29] I just check out CDs and burn them.
[00:13:32] Yeah.
[00:13:33] From the library.
[00:13:34] Yeah.
[00:13:35] Packer style.
[00:13:36] Yeah, I didn't give a fuck about the rules.
[00:13:37] I love burning CDs from the library.
[00:13:39] It's pretty cool.
[00:13:40] Yeah, I never I never bought CDs, never really.
[00:13:43] I couldn't really download.
[00:13:44] I mean, you can download one song at a time.
[00:13:47] Yeah, it was so hard.
[00:13:49] Yeah.
[00:13:50] Plus you had to download pornography.
[00:13:51] I just got good at like, well, I didn't even get good at it, but you know, we just like
[00:13:55] totally, you know, you pretend like you know, people are talking about, especially with
[00:13:59] music.
[00:14:00] Oh, yeah.
[00:14:01] I was at like a huge, because I didn't have cable.
[00:14:02] So like, I didn't people would see music videos and you could actually name the something
[00:14:06] right without access to that.
[00:14:08] You're just like surrounded by noises without without without without being attached to
[00:14:14] anything.
[00:14:15] No information.
[00:14:16] You don't know what the songs are about.
[00:14:18] You can't hear the lyrics.
[00:14:19] It's just Chinese Chinese in your head.
[00:14:22] Yep.
[00:14:23] You can't without we I agree without a music video, I stop understanding English.
[00:14:27] This was my Chinese Chinese to me.
[00:14:32] Did you remember somebody sent me was it's really beautiful.
[00:14:35] It's a good look, dude.
[00:14:36] It's a great.
[00:14:37] I like that.
[00:14:38] It's low key maga.
[00:14:39] So it looks like freak someone out and then you'd be like, are you triggered?
[00:14:41] It's fucking fun, bro.
[00:14:42] It does look like a maga, which does lend to the mystique.
[00:14:47] Yeah, especially if you're Chinese.
[00:14:49] You're like, Oh, no, it's one of those hats.
[00:14:55] It's one of the hats that's getting mad at me for the bad virus.
[00:14:58] He's wearing one of the man about that.
[00:15:01] Mad about you, hon.
[00:15:03] Mad about about about you, hon.
[00:15:06] Not about you, hon, with Paul Reiser and the bitch.
[00:15:10] Helen Hunt.
[00:15:11] Yeah.
[00:15:12] Yeah.
[00:15:13] Helen, did you fuck a Chinese guy?
[00:15:17] And now I'm now I've got coronavirus.
[00:15:19] Why are you corfing all over me?
[00:15:22] Why are you getting you're getting snot all over my face?
[00:15:29] You got snut.
[00:15:30] There's snutchen.
[00:15:31] There's snutchen.
[00:15:32] There's snutchen.
[00:15:33] Yeah.
[00:15:34] And they're like, that's one of the greatest.
[00:15:36] One of the greatest could marry a blonde woman.
[00:15:38] The greatest Jewish comedies is just repeating words in a fake language they made up.
[00:15:44] 100%.
[00:15:45] She got poof.
[00:15:47] The snoodle all over the ship.
[00:15:50] She got shambolot.
[00:15:52] And then we're supposed to be like, that's hilarious.
[00:15:54] What great comedy writing.
[00:15:56] Yeah, dude.
[00:15:57] Fuck that.
[00:15:58] The only good sitcom King of Queens.
[00:16:01] Yeah.
[00:16:02] That's a good one.
[00:16:03] Instead, well, instead we'll cite other comedy shows that are much better that without a
[00:16:08] doubt or the writing room is filled with Jewish guys.
[00:16:11] It's just 100%.
[00:16:12] Yeah.
[00:16:13] They all look and sound exactly like Paul Reiser.
[00:16:17] And that's the big secret.
[00:16:18] That's the big take away.
[00:16:19] Just boom.
[00:16:20] You better write your jobs.
[00:16:21] Yeah.
[00:16:22] When the run is sun and 14.
[00:16:24] Right.
[00:16:25] Put them in the writer's room and black guys.
[00:16:28] You put the black guys on the camera and the Jews in the writers room.
[00:16:31] And that's the formula.
[00:16:32] And there's no reason to mess with it.
[00:16:34] And then at some point, you know, like fucking things got too good.
[00:16:38] And somebody was like, how about a fat Indian bitch?
[00:16:40] And it was like, no, you wouldn't do that with anything else.
[00:16:43] Nobody's like, how about a fat Indian bitch doctor?
[00:16:45] We understand it's very important, you know, surgery.
[00:16:49] Yeah.
[00:16:50] So you wouldn't, they would never, you would never do that.
[00:16:52] You'd never go into a hospital.
[00:16:54] And you're like, I need a heart surgery.
[00:16:58] Should I go to this guy?
[00:17:00] I actually would like a fat Indian bitch if I needed heart surgery.
[00:17:04] Yeah.
[00:17:05] You don't think you would?
[00:17:06] I don't know.
[00:17:07] I mean, I don't, I don't actually have any kind of preference.
[00:17:09] No, I would want a horny Indian man.
[00:17:12] Yeah.
[00:17:13] I would, I want any doctor with decent bedside manner because it's like, I'll probably
[00:17:17] die anyway.
[00:17:18] Yeah, that's true.
[00:17:19] Yeah.
[00:17:20] Probably a lost cause either way.
[00:17:22] Probably a lost cause.
[00:17:23] You want a horny Indian man to why to fuck you in your sleep?
[00:17:27] Well, he's, he was so horny that he worked so hard at medical school so he could have
[00:17:31] sex.
[00:17:32] You know, so that just shows you the kind of drive that he has.
[00:17:35] But now he's having sex.
[00:17:36] He's already in middle medical.
[00:17:38] No, he's still not having sex.
[00:17:40] I want the plan didn't go, it didn't go according.
[00:17:44] Okay.
[00:17:45] I got it.
[00:17:49] You fucked up what you were saying and then you kind of just like lost to whatever swag
[00:17:53] I like the plan to go.
[00:17:57] Let me just fuck with this thing over here.
[00:18:00] Nice thighs Adam.
[00:18:01] Yeah.
[00:18:02] Nice gay leg.
[00:18:03] Yeah.
[00:18:04] How do you feel like a girl bigger in quarantine?
[00:18:08] You're what?
[00:18:09] How do you make your legs bigger if you can't do I have no idea, dude?
[00:18:13] I look, I look like a chimpanzee now.
[00:18:16] I've got chicken legs.
[00:18:18] I'm doing pull up.
[00:18:19] Yeah.
[00:18:20] My legs are toothpick.
[00:18:21] Yeah, I can't.
[00:18:22] There's nothing.
[00:18:23] There's literally, I was doing squads for a while with like a weight vest and then you
[00:18:28] can like wrap resistance bands around your legs to like reduce the blood flow.
[00:18:34] Oh, really?
[00:18:35] It's like a nice pump, but you know, I don't know.
[00:18:37] I mean, it doesn't compare to, I don't carry any fucking weight on my legs anyway.
[00:18:41] So I have to like work out my legs all the time.
[00:18:44] That's you, stop.
[00:18:45] You don't have to work at all for those powerful haunches.
[00:18:47] That's the thing, brother.
[00:18:48] You have you have to be wearing a weight vest.
[00:18:50] You have a very, you have very weak glutes that are underdeveloped.
[00:18:54] No, no you do.
[00:18:56] You do.
[00:18:57] I mean, there's no way you could ever see behind yourself to know.
[00:18:59] There's mirrors.
[00:19:00] He has so many pictures of his ass.
[00:19:02] I have pictures of my ass.
[00:19:03] Like a truck.
[00:19:04] He has Instagram devoted to it.
[00:19:05] Trucks mirrors.
[00:19:06] Yeah.
[00:19:07] I have a series of mirrors.
[00:19:08] I look at my ass everywhere.
[00:19:09] He has to check his ass like this.
[00:19:13] I have side views on my tits.
[00:19:19] It's just stuff.
[00:19:23] It's just posture.
[00:19:24] We'll check in his ass out.
[00:19:27] Fuck, I'm getting hot, dude.
[00:19:30] I'm about to take this video off.
[00:19:34] It's like a hundred degrees here.
[00:19:36] It's so hot.
[00:19:37] I heard it snowed in New York.
[00:19:39] Dude, it was a fucking blizzard last night.
[00:19:41] That's insane.
[00:19:43] There was a fucking blizzard.
[00:19:44] It didn't snow though, did it?
[00:19:47] No, it did, dude.
[00:19:48] I took a video of it.
[00:19:49] I was driving around.
[00:19:50] My dog is out on Long Island right now.
[00:19:53] It's snowing out there.
[00:19:55] Yeah.
[00:19:56] I was on Long Island.
[00:19:57] My dog's in the Hamptons right now.
[00:20:00] Nice.
[00:20:01] Getting pushed from other dogs.
[00:20:02] No, I forget the long island is in the Hamptons.
[00:20:07] I know.
[00:20:08] This is his long island.
[00:20:09] Yeah.
[00:20:10] I know.
[00:20:11] Yeah.
[00:20:12] But for whatever reason, it's like, well, whatever.
[00:20:14] I guess it's just the geography.
[00:20:15] I know where the Hamptons are.
[00:20:17] Why don't?
[00:20:18] I know they're further out on Long Island.
[00:20:19] But when I think of the Hamptons, I think like, what else?
[00:20:22] So what technology do you have?
[00:20:24] Yeah.
[00:20:25] I was standing desk.
[00:20:28] Oh, you have a powered desk.
[00:20:29] I forgot about that.
[00:20:30] I have a powered desk.
[00:20:31] Wait, does it lift the chair also?
[00:20:34] No.
[00:20:35] The chair is regular.
[00:20:36] It doesn't get hydraulics to keep me up.
[00:20:39] Thank you very much.
[00:20:40] You should get a professor ex set up.
[00:20:43] Or it's just a room with like, you know, you should get one of those brain helmets.
[00:20:49] I got a fucking screen and I can see everything, but he's checking on.
[00:20:53] Stop, stop sitting like the architect and the matrix and the O comes in and stuff like
[00:20:57] there's just every fast food drive through menu.
[00:21:00] Yeah, go.
[00:21:01] I will have the McTrosty with double McChicken or whatever.
[00:21:09] I'm fucking constantly, I'm constantly crafting the perfect takeout order in any kind of,
[00:21:13] in any manner of millions of theoretical situations.
[00:21:17] Every calculation has been done to the next degree.
[00:21:21] Every possible lunch has ever been considered, has been done before.
[00:21:26] The predecessors will never come up with the perfect lunch.
[00:21:32] I just want to get out of the matrix.
[00:21:34] I just want people to be free.
[00:21:37] I'm doing rewatch for the matrix trilogy.
[00:21:42] The first one's a good movie.
[00:21:46] What about a prewash of my dick before it goes in your ass?
[00:21:49] No, I want it.
[00:21:50] I want it on natural.
[00:21:52] I want it stanky.
[00:21:54] Honestly, I think my body odor has gotten worse.
[00:21:57] Yeah.
[00:21:58] I got nowhere to be.
[00:22:00] I've been doing probably shower less.
[00:22:03] I've been staying, I've been being clean.
[00:22:06] I started doing morning routine shit.
[00:22:08] I've been getting into night showering again, which I hadn't done since my school boy.
[00:22:13] You're watching your face.
[00:22:14] I washed my face.
[00:22:15] Because my skin, like this year, I never used a lotion or anything.
[00:22:20] I look at myself and it's like, I look like death.
[00:22:24] You're like Irish.
[00:22:27] Your skin just goes to absolute shit.
[00:22:30] That's true.
[00:22:31] It fucking dries out.
[00:22:32] I look like a bleached raisin.
[00:22:36] And then I started using lotion and in a week, it's like I'm fine.
[00:22:40] Yeah.
[00:22:41] I'm going to do these.
[00:22:42] I have to get the worst weather.
[00:22:43] You get fucking just the shit, like Sarave or whatever.
[00:22:47] Sarave from Costa Vichay?
[00:22:48] Yeah, Sarvee-che.
[00:22:49] I just rubbed Sarvee-che on my face.
[00:22:51] It's a little bit of wet fish.
[00:22:54] Dude, I fucking love Sarvee-che.
[00:22:56] I haven't had so long time.
[00:22:58] So good.
[00:22:59] You still lemon on that bitch?
[00:23:00] How does lemon cook a fish?
[00:23:03] It's the acid.
[00:23:04] That's awesome, dude.
[00:23:06] Fuck.
[00:23:07] I want Sarvee-che.
[00:23:08] Your shit's coming in thick right now.
[00:23:11] I'm serious.
[00:23:12] What?
[00:23:13] Yeah.
[00:23:14] I think you prematurely shaved your head.
[00:23:16] Yeah.
[00:23:17] I think you...
[00:23:18] You probably had another three years of having hair left that you...
[00:23:21] Yeah.
[00:23:22] ...that you lost.
[00:23:23] But I got ahead of it.
[00:23:24] No, I got ahead of the curve.
[00:23:25] No.
[00:23:26] Dude, you wasted your 20s.
[00:23:27] No, I didn't.
[00:23:28] No, you could have been.
[00:23:29] You probably just didn't bring you.
[00:23:30] This could have been...
[00:23:31] You could have been...
[00:23:32] You brought the mornings to...
[00:23:33] You'd be like, what's up?
[00:23:34] I'm Stav.
[00:23:35] I'm 27 years old.
[00:23:36] Hey, girl.
[00:23:37] I'm still on it.
[00:23:39] Stav, I'm 27.
[00:23:40] I'm Stav.
[00:23:41] I'm 27 years old.
[00:23:44] 28, 29.
[00:23:45] I'm a model.
[00:23:46] I'm a hair model.
[00:23:47] I'm actually a hair model.
[00:23:49] I'm sponsored by the whole...
[00:23:51] Yeah, I thought I was going bald, but my friend Nick stepped in and told me, like,
[00:23:55] don't shave it.
[00:23:56] You're in your head.
[00:23:57] You're not going to go bald until you're 31.
[00:24:00] And even then, it'll be like, still kind of okay.
[00:24:03] Maybe like there's a spot or something that's missing.
[00:24:05] But luckily, he came out of a time machine and came back and he told me...
[00:24:11] He first came when I was a child and took me to go see...
[00:24:14] The movies.
[00:24:15] Yeah.
[00:24:16] He took me to commit murder.
[00:24:17] Yeah, he took me to go see Repo, man, as a kid.
[00:24:21] And then he tried to get me to murder everybody in the city.
[00:24:23] But then later, he came back and he told me, don't shave.
[00:24:26] Don't listen to your bitch, girlfriend.
[00:24:28] Right.
[00:24:29] You're going to be a model.
[00:24:31] Even though he did know me at the time also.
[00:24:33] Yeah.
[00:24:34] We also were friends and you were already in my life.
[00:24:37] I was, but he was a drinking version.
[00:24:40] That's true.
[00:24:41] I think that was the ledge.
[00:24:44] Yeah.
[00:24:45] I was like, I'm going to go back in time and tell myself at like 21, like, you got to
[00:24:49] stop drinking.
[00:24:50] And I'm like, that's gay.
[00:24:52] You just drunk as you doesn't even remember it.
[00:24:55] Yeah.
[00:24:56] No, it's like...
[00:24:57] It's like in a blackout.
[00:24:58] No, honestly, if I went back in time now and told myself at 20 that I got to stop drinking,
[00:25:03] myself at 20 would be like, I know.
[00:25:05] Yeah.
[00:25:06] Yeah.
[00:25:07] Sure.
[00:25:08] I can't.
[00:25:09] I know.
[00:25:10] I'm glad it's nice to see that eventually I did something that would force me to stop
[00:25:15] drinking, but it's not this.
[00:25:18] It's not proving that...
[00:25:20] Why don't you go back to the...
[00:25:22] Get us money.
[00:25:23] Why don't you do that?
[00:25:24] Do you have any advice?
[00:25:25] You can dumb bitch.
[00:25:26] Yeah.
[00:25:27] Do you remember any stocks that maybe...
[00:25:29] No, stocks are drinking.
[00:25:30] And even if you did, it doesn't matter because there's no money to invest in stocks.
[00:25:36] Yeah.
[00:25:38] How could you even help yourself if you went back in time?
[00:25:40] Literally, there'd be nothing that I could do.
[00:25:43] It'd be almost absolutely nothing.
[00:25:46] Yeah.
[00:25:47] Yeah.
[00:25:48] I don't even know what I could have done.
[00:25:50] Maybe if we helped the world, maybe if we...
[00:25:53] No, I'm not done.
[00:25:55] I would have stopped now at 11.
[00:25:58] Yeah.
[00:25:59] There'd be nothing...
[00:26:01] Anything I could tell myself to do is shit that I already knew that I shouldn't be doing
[00:26:07] or should be doing that I just didn't fucking do anyways.
[00:26:09] Yeah.
[00:26:10] I guess I don't know what I would even do.
[00:26:11] I can't be like, don't be fat.
[00:26:13] It's like, I'm still...
[00:26:14] I still can't.
[00:26:15] Get pussy.
[00:26:16] Hey, get pussy.
[00:26:17] Stop being a bitch.
[00:26:18] Hey, I'm here for the future.
[00:26:20] I'm just here to tell you to try to get pussy.
[00:26:22] Get more pussy, dude.
[00:26:24] Try and do that.
[00:26:26] Get some fucking box.
[00:26:28] Adam, you could...
[00:26:29] There's relationships you could avoid.
[00:26:31] Oh, yeah.
[00:26:32] I would have had a ton of it.
[00:26:34] Yes, for myself.
[00:26:35] Do not buy DJ software.
[00:26:40] Do not.
[00:26:41] Do not buy turntables in the house.
[00:26:46] Maybe good law school.
[00:26:48] Yeah, it's law school.
[00:26:50] Yeah, but then even then that would suck too.
[00:26:54] It's also you don't want to do...
[00:26:55] Yeah, totally what it's like.
[00:26:56] I would have been married to some annoying Jews.
[00:26:58] Right.
[00:26:59] The whole premise of 90% of go back in time fantasies is tell yourself to be a completely
[00:27:04] different fucking person.
[00:27:05] Yeah, it's funny.
[00:27:06] I guess basically what we're getting at...
[00:27:09] We are living the best case scenario for our dumbass lives.
[00:27:13] Oh, we got remarkably lucky.
[00:27:15] We're so lucky.
[00:27:16] This is the best job in the middle of a fucking depression.
[00:27:20] The worst parts of my life is that games mostly suck now.
[00:27:24] Yeah.
[00:27:25] I don't know how to put a coffee table in my living room.
[00:27:28] I can't figure that out.
[00:27:29] No, no, no, the right space or maybe I should go in table.
[00:27:33] I don't know about in table.
[00:27:36] Well, I got the coffee table set up as an end table right now.
[00:27:40] Listen, bro, you need to get a fucking domestic violence charge.
[00:27:45] You need to get a fucking...
[00:27:47] Get a little rap sheet.
[00:27:49] What is that shit called?
[00:27:51] Interior Decorator.
[00:27:52] Yeah.
[00:27:53] Well, I'll just have a girl do it.
[00:27:55] Girls love that shit.
[00:27:56] It could be a girl or a gay guy.
[00:27:59] No, I'll just have some girl do it.
[00:28:02] Just a girl?
[00:28:03] And then she gets to hang out in the apartment for a couple of weeks.
[00:28:06] That's the trade off.
[00:28:07] That's a good trade off.
[00:28:08] Yeah.
[00:28:09] She gets to cook food.
[00:28:10] That's payment.
[00:28:13] You get to do the other thing you like doing, which is making dinner.
[00:28:18] Yeah.
[00:28:19] You get to make the dinner and wash my fucking bowls.
[00:28:22] You get to wash...
[00:28:23] You get to make me FUDRUCKERS at home.
[00:28:27] And I want...
[00:28:28] I want a FUDRUCKERS level meal.
[00:28:29] I want FUDRUCKERS at home and I want a FUDRUCKERS cookie coupon to take the...
[00:28:33] To the center that I'll...
[00:28:35] The cookie station that I will build.
[00:28:37] Oh, you'll make your own cookie station.
[00:28:39] And then you will transition rolls and you'll have to be the cookie.
[00:28:42] And you have to take my coupon, give me a balloon and give me a big soft...
[00:28:47] Soft bake chocolate chip cookie.
[00:28:48] You say, all right, well, when...
[00:28:50] So what's the sexual aspect you like to say?
[00:28:51] And then you can get the fuck out.
[00:28:54] I want you wearing a full FUDRUCKERS uniform.
[00:28:57] It's time to replay Luigi's Mansion.
[00:29:03] And shut up.
[00:29:04] Yeah, shut up, bitch.
[00:29:06] It's just Luigi's Mansion, the clock.
[00:29:09] Luigi's Mansion, FUDRUCKERS time.
[00:29:11] I'm full of...
[00:29:12] Yeah.
[00:29:13] Damn.
[00:29:14] Who would have thought that life would never get better than eating FUDRUCKERS and playing
[00:29:21] Luigi's Mansion?
[00:29:22] I know, dude.
[00:29:23] Yeah.
[00:29:24] Fuck.
[00:29:25] Honestly, the summers in like high school when I was just...
[00:29:29] When Madden just came out.
[00:29:30] And I was just fucking...
[00:29:31] I would go home, play my whole Madden.
[00:29:33] In the summertime, me and my brothers eat ice cream and shit.
[00:29:36] Yeah.
[00:29:37] I get home from football practice.
[00:29:38] I think I'm going to be a professional athlete.
[00:29:39] Yeah.
[00:29:40] This is the ninth grade.
[00:29:41] I'm like, I'll probably go to college for football.
[00:29:44] Yeah.
[00:29:45] More.
[00:29:46] Yeah.
[00:29:47] I made my noodles for basketball team.
[00:29:51] I'm probably gonna...
[00:29:52] I'm probably...
[00:29:53] Maybe I won't play in the NBA, but I could play in Europe.
[00:29:55] I remember at a dare graduation in fifth grade, the sheriff came to the far...
[00:30:01] To be like, you guys just graduated learning how to say no to drugs.
[00:30:05] And he went around the fifth grade class and he was like, what do you want to be when
[00:30:09] you grow up?
[00:30:10] And what it got to be, I said baseball player.
[00:30:12] And I'm like, the car ride home, my dad yelled at me.
[00:30:15] He's like, you're not going to be a fucking guy.
[00:30:17] How dare you embarrass me in front of the police?
[00:30:20] You told the sheriff you owe it to me on baseball player?
[00:30:25] I see that sheriff...
[00:30:26] Why did you say president of the United States?
[00:30:27] I have to see that sheriff every Saturday night at 2 AM.
[00:30:30] I mean, never mind.
[00:30:33] I've never seen him before in my life.
[00:30:35] I have to see every time they clean out the public restrooms.
[00:30:38] I have to see him.
[00:30:40] Every Wednesday night, I go over to my friend Bill's house and I see the sheriff there.
[00:30:45] Oh, never mind actually.
[00:30:47] Don't tell your mom.
[00:30:48] Don't say anything.
[00:30:49] Don't say anything about the sheriff being my boyfriend.
[00:30:57] Which he's not, by the way.
[00:30:59] What do you mean, are you the speakers just fucking blasting this here?
[00:31:02] I don't want headphones.
[00:31:03] I'm paranoid.
[00:31:04] You're paranoid about what?
[00:31:05] I'm not a good one.
[00:31:07] The sheriff is my boyfriend.
[00:31:09] The sheriff is my boyfriend.
[00:31:12] You're a beautiful one.
[00:31:18] No, that would fuck up your dad's secret gay sex relationship for weeks, dude.
[00:31:24] Yeah.
[00:31:25] As long as it was happening with powerful men in the community.
[00:31:29] Your dad was definitely a sub, getting topped by the sheriff.
[00:31:32] No, I don't know about you.
[00:31:34] You can't tell.
[00:31:35] That's what I've heard from friends of mine in the gay community.
[00:31:37] I think we're pretty taught.
[00:31:39] I think we're pretty taught.
[00:31:41] That the sheriff topped your dad.
[00:31:43] No, maybe the sheriff was in?
[00:31:45] Listen.
[00:31:46] Maybe it's a video not a top.
[00:31:48] Your dad's situation.
[00:31:49] Listen, bro.
[00:31:50] Vito was getting hit at the construction site.
[00:31:51] No.
[00:31:52] Turns out he was giving hit.
[00:31:53] Vito looks, Vito's about.
[00:31:55] Whoa.
[00:31:56] Whoa.
[00:31:57] Whoa.
[00:31:58] I love that that's worse.
[00:32:00] It's because they've all been to jail.
[00:32:04] No, they weren't, they weren't on such shit in jail.
[00:32:07] The mafia doesn't do gay shit in jail.
[00:32:10] I think they do.
[00:32:11] I think they just don't talk about it.
[00:32:12] I think that's the code.
[00:32:14] Part of that thing.
[00:32:15] The code.
[00:32:16] There's, yeah.
[00:32:17] And if you are to do gay shit, and if you are ever to do gay shit, you do not tell anybody
[00:32:21] about it.
[00:32:22] I'm speaking of gay guys.
[00:32:26] Little Richard died guys.
[00:32:28] Yeah.
[00:32:29] All right.
[00:32:30] He was arrested in 1962 for having gay sex in a public restroom.
[00:32:34] That's so funny.
[00:32:35] They used to arrest people for having gay sex.
[00:32:39] That's such a hilarious thing to get arrested for.
[00:32:43] Because in like retrospect, it seems like what would make you get arrested for being gay,
[00:32:49] for acting gay.
[00:32:50] It seems like more, but the actual act of like just watching, like you could be gay in
[00:32:55] the 60s.
[00:32:56] I mean, you probably get gioned or something, but you could just like fucking go around
[00:33:00] town being like, I can't wait to kiss boys and like blowing kisses and cops and fucking
[00:33:06] like, you know, just like, you know, just doing whatever the fuck you want, right?
[00:33:12] I have weirdings on.
[00:33:13] And the cops are just staked out in front of your place.
[00:33:16] Just waiting for you to suck a dick.
[00:33:18] The second I see a cop who knew that man's mouth would be perfect.
[00:33:21] Yeah.
[00:33:22] The problem is, is he keeps skating by on technicalities.
[00:33:26] He never actually sucks the dick.
[00:33:30] We can't get him on.
[00:33:31] We got to get him on tax evasion.
[00:33:33] There's some gay mafia criminal that's just going around.
[00:33:39] He's in the newspapers.
[00:33:41] It's like, you know, gay is man alive coming out of court.
[00:33:46] Just wearing a dress like, yeah, I don't know what to tell you.
[00:33:49] Guests, witnesses never really showed up.
[00:33:52] He's dabbing his mouth.
[00:33:54] He's at sex with you as whack.
[00:33:55] Right.
[00:33:56] Yeah, just dabbing his mouth with a fucking pink handkerchief.
[00:34:00] They're like, we could never actually get him on the gay sex.
[00:34:05] We found out he wasn't paying taxes on all the money he made getting fucked in his ass
[00:34:10] by Barack Obama.
[00:34:12] Luckily, all that brought him up on fagatering.
[00:34:16] We got him on.
[00:34:18] We got him on.
[00:34:20] We got him on.
[00:34:22] We got him on butt crack.
[00:34:27] Tearing.
[00:34:29] God damn dude.
[00:34:31] Wait, you said Adam, you said he was name and gay sex.
[00:34:34] He was watching a straight couple have sex.
[00:34:37] He had a wife and he used to get off on voyeurism.
[00:34:40] I mean, he was gay.
[00:34:41] Wait, you're talking about your dad again?
[00:34:43] You're watching her get fucked by all his friends.
[00:34:45] Is your dad?
[00:34:46] No, little Richard.
[00:34:48] Oh.
[00:34:49] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:34:50] Sorry.
[00:34:51] We moved on.
[00:34:52] Yeah.
[00:34:53] Sorry, let me talk about your dad.
[00:34:54] Yeah.
[00:34:55] So I think he got, well, maybe he got busted in a bathroom, but he also got busted in a
[00:34:58] car watching his wife.
[00:35:01] What are you doing here, little Richard?
[00:35:03] Are you in jail as well for watching your wife get fucked?
[00:35:06] Ooh.
[00:35:07] Stop.
[00:35:08] Are we getting drunk?
[00:35:09] Yes, I don't have a good little Richard.
[00:35:13] Why?
[00:35:14] Yes, I am having watching my wife get fucked as well.
[00:35:17] He is an unbelievable performer.
[00:35:20] I was like watching video.
[00:35:21] It's crazy.
[00:35:22] It's like, you know, it's like, I thought he died 400 years ago.
[00:35:26] Yeah.
[00:35:27] You remember when Rosa Parks died?
[00:35:29] He's got his patients zero of it.
[00:35:31] When who?
[00:35:32] Rosa Parks died.
[00:35:33] I know.
[00:35:34] That was like last week.
[00:35:35] Yeah, it was like, what do you mean she died?
[00:35:37] Yeah, I got crazy.
[00:35:39] Because as a kid, as a kid, it's history.
[00:35:42] It would be like, oh my God, George Washington died.
[00:35:45] Right?
[00:35:46] I was like, okay.
[00:35:48] All right.
[00:35:49] If you say so.
[00:35:50] So there was some like meme thing, you know, where it's like post a pic, little you knew
[00:35:54] you were, you know, like some dumb Twitter excuse the show, baby pictures.
[00:35:57] And some guy like our age posted a baby picture where Rosa Parks is holding him and it went
[00:36:03] viral because it's like, what the fuck is this?
[00:36:05] Yeah.
[00:36:06] Rosa Parks, well, the you as a baby.
[00:36:08] Yeah.
[00:36:09] But it makes sense.
[00:36:10] 30 years ago, she's just some old ass lady.
[00:36:11] Yeah.
[00:36:12] I know you forget that she wrote that bus in like what?
[00:36:15] 1997.
[00:36:16] Yeah.
[00:36:17] Yeah.
[00:36:18] It was right after the 96 Atlanta Olympics.
[00:36:20] I remember.
[00:36:21] Yeah.
[00:36:22] And then they were like, we got to end this racism now.
[00:36:24] Staff.
[00:36:25] Dude, it's fucked up.
[00:36:26] Dude, there's like pictures of MLK eating pizza, playing pool.
[00:36:29] Yeah.
[00:36:30] That's weird.
[00:36:31] What do you mean pizza wasn't, you didn't think pizza.
[00:36:34] I don't know, man.
[00:36:35] Again, it's a historical guy.
[00:36:37] You shouldn't be eating pizza.
[00:36:38] Well, it's crazy.
[00:36:39] It's the sunglasses, the cool MLK picture that people.
[00:36:41] It's such a dumb.
[00:36:42] Oh, yeah.
[00:36:43] They post that every time.
[00:36:44] It's a dumb thought, but it's like, you know, as a kid, you're learning about the fucking
[00:36:48] civil rights movement, which was the 60s, which was only like 30 years ago.
[00:36:52] Right.
[00:36:53] And it's like if we were learning about the 90s now and it's like, what's different?
[00:36:57] It's like we have less soda.
[00:36:59] Yeah.
[00:37:00] There's different.
[00:37:01] There's different types of soda.
[00:37:03] And culturally, things haven't changed that much.
[00:37:05] I guess there's like some pronoun stuff, but it's not like we got Netflix.
[00:37:09] There's still a lot of that shit still up for debate.
[00:37:11] It's not like in the 1990s, there was guys, you know, like just fucking on TV being like,
[00:37:16] they should still be slaves, I think.
[00:37:18] That's I the debate about racism.
[00:37:23] There was a shocking like, I remember I was just watching that Jordan documentary and
[00:37:28] I was like, who the fuck was the, who was the North Carolina center, like Jesse Helms,
[00:37:33] who was still trying to get, you're still trying to get segregation to pop off again.
[00:37:38] He wanted school segregation.
[00:37:40] He wanted school segregation in like 1997 or 93.
[00:37:43] It was like what the fuck is that early 90s?
[00:37:47] That's hilarious.
[00:37:48] And he was like, well, look, he was like, I'm not going to say what I think, but it should
[00:37:53] be a choice.
[00:37:54] And if the states want to segregate, that's their choice.
[00:37:59] Nick, you should really watch the doc.
[00:38:01] It's, it's so good.
[00:38:02] Watch.
[00:38:03] He's such a, he's such an amazing like subject because he's such a piece of shit.
[00:38:08] Who your dad?
[00:38:09] Who your dad?
[00:38:10] And he's like, John distant alcoholic.
[00:38:12] Your father.
[00:38:13] Cool.
[00:38:14] Now his eyes are yellow.
[00:38:15] You're talking about your dad again?
[00:38:17] No, I'm talking about Michael.
[00:38:18] Oh, Michael, good to see you here.
[00:38:21] Yeah.
[00:38:22] Jail for watching other people.
[00:38:23] Me and the sheriff met Michael Jordan.
[00:38:25] I had a memorabilia event last week at the convention center and he fucked my ass 23
[00:38:34] times and he said, there's your autograph.
[00:38:38] How's that?
[00:38:39] He's hiding his name on my back in cum.
[00:38:43] He's, yeah.
[00:38:44] Yeah.
[00:38:45] Yeah.
[00:38:46] Yeah.
[00:38:47] I hung onto the ceiling fan and he jumped from across the room and shoved a basketball
[00:38:57] up my ass.
[00:38:59] It was me and the sheriff.
[00:39:02] He had to fish all six of his championship rings out of my ass at one point.
[00:39:07] And I told him that you wanted to be a baseball player and he laughed.
[00:39:12] He laughed and laughed and laughed.
[00:39:14] And he said, that's the gayest shit I've ever heard.
[00:39:19] That's, I've never heard such a gay thing.
[00:39:27] I would be embarrassed to have him as a son and I had my own father murdered.
[00:39:33] That's what he said.
[00:39:35] I wasn't even good at baseball.
[00:39:37] I was like, on a tee.
[00:39:38] I was pretty bad at that point.
[00:39:40] Yeah, I believe that.
[00:39:41] I didn't think you were.
[00:39:42] It was pretty delusional to say.
[00:39:45] One time there was a family, we went to a birthday party and like the only rich Greek
[00:39:50] family that we knew and they used to go all the way out.
[00:39:53] Like they hired like, they had like balloon animals, a caricature guy, a bouncy house
[00:39:58] and the caricature guy asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I said I wanted to
[00:40:02] be a bum.
[00:40:03] And he drew me as a homeless guy.
[00:40:05] Yeah.
[00:40:06] It was one of my, that was one of my finest moments.
[00:40:09] Damn.
[00:40:10] I watched one of those like 60s period piece.
[00:40:12] Should I watch Green Book and the help?
[00:40:14] I gotta buy some weed.
[00:40:15] I hear Green Book's really funny.
[00:40:17] I watched half of Green Book and then I got, it kind of got repetitive.
[00:40:22] I'm sure I didn't see it.
[00:40:23] Yeah.
[00:40:24] Well, it's like they go, they go town to town and they're like, do you mean I can't use
[00:40:29] the bathroom because I'm a black man.
[00:40:31] And then, you know, he's like, hey, why, why ain't you letting them use the frickin'
[00:40:35] the bathroom for?
[00:40:36] Hey, it's all the same color.
[00:40:39] Yeah, we all got the same turds and then they go to the-
[00:40:41] Everybody shits brown, pal.
[00:40:43] And then they drive to the next time he's like, this is my life as a black man.
[00:40:47] And he's like, hey, I can't believe it.
[00:40:49] You know, and then they go to the next place.
[00:40:51] And they're like, we ain't let color fellas use the make your own waffle station at the
[00:40:56] hotel.
[00:40:57] Sorry.
[00:40:58] And he's like, you mean as a man of color, I cannot make my own waffle.
[00:41:03] And then, you know-
[00:41:04] It's quite all right, you know, I have my own pancakes.
[00:41:06] Yeah.
[00:41:07] I make his waffle.
[00:41:09] We've never seen such a frickin' thing like this before in our lives, except for the last
[00:41:13] town where it just happened fucking to five minutes ago in this fucking movie.
[00:41:17] And then they go to the next place.
[00:41:19] He's gay too, right?
[00:41:20] He's black guy.
[00:41:21] Yeah, he's gay and he's black.
[00:41:22] And then the story is they meet up with a South African guy in Las Vegas at some point.
[00:41:28] No, it's not in the movie.
[00:41:30] I don't know.
[00:41:31] Sorry.
[00:41:32] Is that real?
[00:41:33] I remember that scene.
[00:41:34] It was in the movie.
[00:41:35] The sheriff's about to have him arrested and then he's like, actually, I think my boyfriend
[00:41:40] will like you too, fellas.
[00:41:41] Yeah.
[00:41:42] Actually, I got a boyfriend named Adam Sr.
[00:41:45] He's dying to meet a couple of pals from Brooklyn.
[00:41:53] He said his son wanted to be a baseball player, but instead he meant some fellas from Brooklyn
[00:41:57] and he said him straight and he's trying to be said straight in a similar fashion.
[00:42:02] Either way, sheriff, if it means I have to fuck this man's ass to go on with my piano
[00:42:07] wrist.
[00:42:08] I just so be it.
[00:42:09] Yeah.
[00:42:10] He's frager.
[00:42:11] Yeah.
[00:42:12] Wow.
[00:42:13] I just, we were talking the other night about how he was, he thought OJ was innocent.
[00:42:19] And he was like, that's just too cute to commit a crime.
[00:42:23] No, he was like, that's just how black men are treated in this country.
[00:42:27] Damn, dude.
[00:42:29] Damn, you gotta have, you gotta be fucking like, oh, man.
[00:42:32] Off your shit.
[00:42:33] Become from South Africa, you United States and be like, the problem here, racism.
[00:42:39] It's like, that's like the one, that's the one thing.
[00:42:44] That's the one place you make that there is the one, the one country that you can point
[00:42:49] at and be like, actually, there was a lot of people get upset at that.
[00:42:53] They're like, yeah, it is real problem.
[00:42:55] No, apart I was over at that point, but also we had to leave because my dad was on a government
[00:43:00] and it was a list for being too gay.
[00:43:03] Yeah.
[00:43:04] For being too gay.
[00:43:05] Like we got him.
[00:43:06] We finally got the tape.
[00:43:07] We got the tape.
[00:43:08] We got the tape.
[00:43:09] To South Africa.
[00:43:10] Or to make in contact with the witness.
[00:43:12] We got the tape.
[00:43:13] We finally have the tape of him getting fucked in his ass so we can prosecute him.
[00:43:19] Oh, he's good on a plane.
[00:43:21] He's taken.
[00:43:22] He's got diplomatic immunity.
[00:43:24] Diplomatic immunity.
[00:43:27] Hopefully the virus we released a couple of years ago ran here in Africa to deal with
[00:43:33] the blicks, makes its way to America and takes care of the escaped gays.
[00:43:40] I don't know if you know that AIDS was invented by South Africa.
[00:43:49] What's up?
[00:43:50] The South Africa invented AIDS.
[00:43:52] Not to try and catch your father.
[00:43:53] It was actually a chinese fire way to affect him.
[00:43:57] A Chinese guy fucked the bat.
[00:43:59] That's where AIDS came from.
[00:44:01] Isn't it a monkey?
[00:44:02] Don't people say black guy fucked the monkey?
[00:44:04] That's where it came from?
[00:44:06] Yeah.
[00:44:07] Yeah.
[00:44:08] That's not true.
[00:44:09] Is that Ebola?
[00:44:10] No, it's AIDS.
[00:44:12] They came from sex with animals.
[00:44:15] Yeah, age got Ebola.
[00:44:17] Each guy V.
[00:44:18] Age got V.
[00:44:20] Ebola come from eating a monkey?
[00:44:23] I don't know.
[00:44:25] I don't know.
[00:44:26] I got some edamame spaghetti.
[00:44:28] I'm going to try it tonight.
[00:44:31] How does that work?
[00:44:33] That's nice.
[00:44:34] I don't know if it'll be good or not.
[00:44:35] Do you mean you chop the edamame up into spaghetti?
[00:44:38] No, it comes, it's like you know how you get spaghetti that's made out of the shits.
[00:44:43] Yeah.
[00:44:44] Yeah.
[00:44:45] Okay.
[00:44:46] I like that.
[00:44:47] Yeah.
[00:44:48] It's like green tea noodles but with edamame.
[00:44:49] I'll fuck with that.
[00:44:51] Oh yeah.
[00:44:52] Oh, I want to get some of that fucking tea that Ari had.
[00:44:56] That was good ass tea dude.
[00:44:57] So good.
[00:44:58] That ho-ho-jee-choo.
[00:44:59] I'll tell him.
[00:45:00] It's ho-jee-choo.
[00:45:01] He said it's ho-jee-choo with the name.
[00:45:04] Yeah, ho-jee-choo.
[00:45:05] It's like a roasted green tea.
[00:45:08] Yeah.
[00:45:09] But I don't know.
[00:45:10] It has like an earthy woody.
[00:45:11] I think you get an order online.
[00:45:13] And then I don't have one.
[00:45:14] I want one of those like, you know, those like ritual suicide tea sets also.
[00:45:19] Yeah.
[00:45:20] I want to start drinking my tea like a real asshole.
[00:45:22] Just bowing to it and shit.
[00:45:24] Ain't nothing wrong with that, Paul.
[00:45:28] Yeah.
[00:45:29] Get a little fucking tea up in your system.
[00:45:32] Ritual and sacrifice.
[00:45:34] That's the motto for the summer.
[00:45:37] That's the motto, Yola.
[00:45:39] And what if that was how every motto ended?
[00:45:45] Motel six.
[00:45:46] We'll leave the light on for you.
[00:45:47] That's the motto, Yola.
[00:45:49] This is every time you heard a motto.
[00:45:57] That song is so good.
[00:46:00] Yeah.
[00:46:01] Amaco, double A, MCO.
[00:46:04] That's the motto, Yola.
[00:46:06] Yeah.
[00:46:07] And double A.
[00:46:08] Beep.
[00:46:09] See you.
[00:46:10] Amaco, double A. M C.
[00:46:13] Oh, that's the motto, Yola.
[00:46:18] That is a very cool.
[00:46:21] Quick picker, upper.
[00:46:23] That's the motto, Yola.
[00:46:31] Plug it in, plug it in.
[00:46:35] Yeah, that's the motto.
[00:46:47] You're going to like the way I look.
[00:46:48] I guarantee it.
[00:46:50] That's the motto.
[00:46:51] Behold up.
[00:46:52] Damn.
[00:46:53] Did they muscle my man out of men's warehouse?
[00:46:56] I don't see him anymore.
[00:46:58] Yeah.
[00:46:59] Well, I was right after the fucking Trayvon shooting.
[00:47:00] They were like, you got to go.
[00:47:02] Like, we can't.
[00:47:04] You can't do it.
[00:47:05] You can't be that guy.
[00:47:08] So was he saying, did anything do with Trayvon?
[00:47:12] His name was George Zimmerman.
[00:47:14] Oh, right.
[00:47:16] And they just hired the actual George Zimmerman to be the guy afterwards.
[00:47:23] Yeah, they just fucked up completely.
[00:47:25] We got a new guy.
[00:47:26] You're going to like the way I fuck.
[00:47:27] I guarantee it.
[00:47:28] This is sort of Mexican.
[00:47:29] I'm going to start saying that.
[00:47:30] You're going to like the way I fuck.
[00:47:33] I guarantee it.
[00:47:34] You're in a suit.
[00:47:36] You're in a giant suit, double breasted suit before you fuck a woman.
[00:47:40] That's one of the most successful ad campaigns of all time.
[00:47:43] And it's like such a shitty like small business owner that buys local TV spots, like idea
[00:47:48] for a good ad.
[00:47:49] I know.
[00:47:50] They're like, what I'm going, I'm going to go first with my word because, and I was
[00:47:55] telling my son this, what people want is your word.
[00:47:59] And that's what that is.
[00:48:01] Is you giving people your word?
[00:48:02] Because you're wearing T and they want your word.
[00:48:05] They want you have is your good name and your words.
[00:48:08] That's what you got in life is that you have your word.
[00:48:11] And it's like, all right, well, this ad, this commercial sucks.
[00:48:15] So we just kept fucking.
[00:48:18] It'll just be me.
[00:48:19] Yeah, it's going to be me and I'm going to be sitting there and I'll have the clothes
[00:48:23] on making them look worse than if they were just on a mannequin because I'm built like
[00:48:30] fucking grimace.
[00:48:33] You had a good, he had a gravelly voice though.
[00:48:37] You're confusing him with Harvey Fierstein.
[00:48:40] Yeah, Harvey Fierstein would have been a better spokesman.
[00:48:45] George Zimmerman.
[00:48:47] It's George Zimmer.
[00:48:48] No, George Zimmer.
[00:48:50] It's George Zimmer.
[00:48:51] Yeah.
[00:48:52] Well, then the hell.
[00:48:55] Too close.
[00:48:56] Yeah.
[00:48:57] Yeah, why George still hasn't got it.
[00:48:59] Yeah, but it was very much the same.
[00:49:00] It's a Papa John.
[00:49:01] Oh, this guy's ugly.
[00:49:02] Yeah, he's ugly where you have the CEO be the face.
[00:49:06] He wasn't fat though.
[00:49:07] He just had a really big schnaz.
[00:49:09] Did he get a beard if I remember correctly, right?
[00:49:12] Yeah.
[00:49:13] But you're right.
[00:49:14] I was thinking of higher quality fires.
[00:49:16] Yeah.
[00:49:17] They're very similar.
[00:49:18] Yeah, both gay men.
[00:49:20] Oh, wow.
[00:49:21] Do you know my friend in the sheriff?
[00:49:24] Hey, George, I got a couple of boys to introduce you to.
[00:49:28] You're going to like the way I fuck.
[00:49:29] I guarantee it.
[00:49:30] I hope so.
[00:49:33] That's the motto.
[00:49:34] YOLO.
[00:49:35] Well, I can't wait to find out.
[00:49:40] You know, Sheriff, I like that man.
[00:49:42] He guaranteed him feel good to get my ass fucked and I trusted him.
[00:49:45] Stay tuned.
[00:49:46] Better ingredients, better pizza.
[00:49:48] That's the motto.
[00:49:49] YOLO.
[00:49:50] I'm out.
[00:49:51] Peace.
[00:49:52] That's how you've had to interview ended.
[00:49:56] Am I going to apologize?
[00:49:58] No, I'm not going to apologize.
[00:50:01] That's the motto.
[00:50:02] YOLO.
[00:50:03] I told them that on the conference call.
[00:50:04] I was just doing the motto.
[00:50:06] I said, we got to stop thinking like business partners and start thinking like we're a couple
[00:50:11] of just loped up working together on in the trap.
[00:50:18] YOLO.
[00:50:19] YOLO.
[00:50:20] YOLO.
[00:50:21] I just saw boys in the hood for the first time.
[00:50:24] I've kind of been put off by all kind of gangster rap because of, you know, the song
[00:50:29] Pimp Your System or they robbed the pizza delivery driver.
[00:50:31] That was the first, that was the only rap song I've ever heard.
[00:50:34] Some of them were listening to after that.
[00:50:36] But I bought the boys in the hood and I got it.
[00:50:38] We got to stop thinking like teammates and start thinking like, you know what I'm saying?
[00:50:43] They're like, no, no, no.
[00:50:47] John, you're on a conference call with the entire company.
[00:50:51] I don't care.
[00:50:53] I'm rich.
[00:50:54] There's aerial photos in my house.
[00:50:58] You know how fucking rich you have to be to have aerial photos of your house online?
[00:51:01] He's out there in Louisville, right?
[00:51:03] Does he live in Kentucky?
[00:51:04] It looks like a goddamn six flags.
[00:51:07] And I'll tell you what, half those flags are racist.
[00:51:13] It's the fucking American flag, the Kentucky flag, Confederate flag, Swastika, that's that
[00:51:21] snake.
[00:51:22] Punisher.
[00:51:23] Don't know what I'm talking about.
[00:51:24] You don't know, you know about that snake.
[00:51:26] That's snakes, my mean that snake with each other.
[00:51:32] I'll tell you right now.
[00:51:33] Stay tuned.
[00:51:34] Shout out to Johnny Schnacks.
[00:51:38] Yeah.
[00:51:39] John Schnatter.
[00:51:40] Yeah.
[00:51:41] What's he doing?
[00:51:42] What's he up to?
[00:51:43] That's his quarantine.
[00:51:44] He's probably got a nice estate.
[00:51:47] What you saying Adam?
[00:51:48] Have you been getting all their ads now said that they do contactless delivery?
[00:51:53] Yeah.
[00:51:54] You've been getting them?
[00:51:55] Yeah, you just the fucking delivery guy just leaves it on outside.
[00:51:59] You go down and you get it.
[00:52:02] I loved it when I caught them.
[00:52:03] We made contact.
[00:52:04] You know what I'm saying?
[00:52:05] Matteo was saying Matteo was talking Matteo.
[00:52:07] He said one of his friends sucked off of the delivery driver.
[00:52:11] Okay, bad.
[00:52:12] Gay guys rock, dude.
[00:52:15] They absolutely rule.
[00:52:16] That makes sense.
[00:52:17] So if you're going to make contact, make it with somebody you're going to make contact
[00:52:20] with anyway.
[00:52:21] So delivery people should start having sex with you.
[00:52:25] This guy in New York College claimed that when he was a high school pizza delivery man,
[00:52:29] he had a threesome.
[00:52:30] But I always thought he was lying about it.
[00:52:32] It could be true.
[00:52:34] It could be true.
[00:52:35] It was a wild shit happens out there in the wild world.
[00:52:38] That was your doe man.
[00:52:41] How many threesome did you have as a pizza delivery driver Nick?
[00:52:44] Well none.
[00:52:45] But you know, I mean, you'd hear about it.
[00:52:47] You'd definitely hear about it.
[00:52:48] You hear about it from other guys that were even less attractive than I was at the time.
[00:52:55] Yeah.
[00:52:56] Every pizza restaurant has the same set of drivers.
[00:52:59] It's like a kid who's still in high school that's a nerd.
[00:53:03] It's the hero of the story who will go on to become famous.
[00:53:10] There's an older Indian guy that curses a lot.
[00:53:14] That's true.
[00:53:15] There's an older African guy usually.
[00:53:18] Classic, what about a classic like Stoner Burnout?
[00:53:20] The Stoner Burnout is always a guy that's in his mid 40s and still like upside down visor.
[00:53:26] Yeah, still exactly.
[00:53:27] Yeah, just but like the fucking, what's it called?
[00:53:30] What's that movie about the dad who does ecstasy with his son?
[00:53:34] Small town exesee.
[00:53:35] Small town exesee.
[00:53:36] Like the dad from small town exesee, like every pizza place has one of those guys.
[00:53:41] It's a delivery driver like fucking divorced living in like the apartment complex for fucking
[00:53:47] 19 year olds.
[00:53:49] Yeah, it's playing hacky sack.
[00:53:52] Yeah.
[00:53:53] Yeah.
[00:53:54] Yeah.
[00:53:55] Yeah.
[00:53:56] Yeah.
[00:53:57] Yeah.
[00:53:58] Yeah.
[00:53:59] Yeah.
[00:54:00] Yeah.
[00:54:01] Yeah.
[00:54:02] Dude.
[00:54:03] I can't wait.
[00:54:04] We're getting this weekend.
[00:54:05] Me and Brian going out to the fucking the lake.
[00:54:06] It's fucking, dude.
[00:54:07] Yeah.
[00:54:08] Is that guy?
[00:54:09] You should watch that documentary, so we've talked about it before.
[00:54:10] Small town ecstasy.
[00:54:11] Small town one.
[00:54:12] Mm hmm.
[00:54:13] Salute.
[00:54:14] I got sirens.
[00:54:15] Scater shoe fat guy.
[00:54:16] Fat white guys and do West line.
[00:54:19] Scater shoe fat guy.
[00:54:20] Fat white guys and do West line.
[00:54:21] Yeah.
[00:54:22] Scater shoe fat guy.
[00:54:23] Fat scater white guys and do West line pictures.
[00:54:24] Yeah.
[00:54:25] That's such a good guy.
[00:54:26] Yeah.
[00:54:27] Yeah.
[00:54:28] Yeah.
[00:54:29] Yeah.
[00:54:30] For sure.
[00:54:31] For sure.
[00:54:32] He said every pizza restaurant in a country.
[00:54:36] That's awesome, dude.
[00:54:37] It's just like the sitcom.
[00:54:39] Yeah.
[00:54:41] I want to go to a fucking Pizza Hut and hit up the pizza hut.
[00:54:45] They have the, they have a buffet there.
[00:54:48] A little pizza buffet.
[00:54:49] Maybe in Queens.
[00:54:50] I think they're running out big time.
[00:54:52] Cause I used to, I never, I was never a pizza hut guy.
[00:54:55] I was always dominoes or proper jobs.
[00:54:57] Oh, I was a big pizza hut guy.
[00:54:58] Pizza Hut is the best.
[00:54:59] It's just it was never like ordered.
[00:55:01] Maybe birthday parties.
[00:55:02] You would have to go.
[00:55:03] You would have to go with a person.
[00:55:04] Yeah.
[00:55:05] You did deliver in Vegas.
[00:55:06] Not in the Greek town, baby.
[00:55:07] You had to go with a fan.
[00:55:08] It was a big deal put on a college.
[00:55:10] Some, some of them, yeah, some of them deliver.
[00:55:12] Or you know what?
[00:55:13] Takeout.
[00:55:14] That's what a fucking was.
[00:55:15] You did takeout for sure.
[00:55:16] That's why I never had pizza hut.
[00:55:18] Yeah.
[00:55:19] I remember, I remember stuffed crust pizza coming out when I was a kid.
[00:55:22] Yeah, sir.
[00:55:23] Technology that went into that.
[00:55:24] Going to, going to dominoes with my dad.
[00:55:27] It was a day going to like, like the car parts store and then fucking dominoes.
[00:55:33] And I remember it's like, you know, you're a kid.
[00:55:35] So you're like, we'd order dominoes delivered.
[00:55:37] But I don't think I'd ever been in the dominoes.
[00:55:39] And there's nothing there.
[00:55:40] It's just the counter and then like the menu up and then you see like, and I remember
[00:55:44] being like, essentially like, this is a jarring experience.
[00:55:47] Yeah, dude.
[00:55:48] And then my, I realize it's only for delivery.
[00:55:50] Yeah.
[00:55:51] And then my dad being like, what did you say that, what was the thing that you wanted?
[00:55:55] You know, and I was like, this stuff crust pizza from the commercial.
[00:55:59] And they're like, no, we don't do that.
[00:56:03] That's pizza hut.
[00:56:04] And it was like, oh.
[00:56:06] Meanwhile, that's all you're a little as kid.
[00:56:08] That's all you're thinking about all day.
[00:56:10] Yeah.
[00:56:11] I can't wait for stuff, Chris.
[00:56:12] Yeah.
[00:56:13] It was my fault.
[00:56:14] I mean, I didn't know there was a difference between.
[00:56:16] I thought they had invented like there was like, there's been a breakthrough in pizza.
[00:56:20] Pizza technology.
[00:56:21] And then suddenly it was just everywhere.
[00:56:24] Yeah.
[00:56:25] A hundred percent.
[00:56:26] It's like, if one kind of company wasn't using motors.
[00:56:30] And then you finally have it like, you finally have it like six months later, which when you're
[00:56:35] like six years old, that's like decades.
[00:56:37] An eternity.
[00:56:38] Yeah.
[00:56:39] Yeah.
[00:56:40] And then it sucks.
[00:56:42] It's not good.
[00:56:43] It's like, it's like a string cheese fucking thing in the middle of the mountain.
[00:56:47] It's very thick.
[00:56:48] And it's not hot.
[00:56:49] Yeah, exactly.
[00:56:50] And the pizza hut crust is better, the regular, because it's not pan.
[00:56:53] Yeah.
[00:56:54] It's not crispy on the bottom anymore.
[00:56:56] Yeah.
[00:56:57] Yeah.
[00:56:58] You learn your lesson.
[00:56:59] That's the first time advertising to let me down in a real big way.
[00:57:02] Yeah.
[00:57:03] Because you see the stretch.
[00:57:05] The stretch is what you want.
[00:57:06] The stretch is really.
[00:57:07] Do you believe in subliminal messaging and advertising?
[00:57:10] Oh, yeah.
[00:57:11] Because I feel like, but that it works.
[00:57:13] Because I remember there was, when the KFC Twister came out, which was just, it's just a fried
[00:57:19] chicken wrap.
[00:57:20] There's nothing special about it.
[00:57:21] Yeah.
[00:57:22] But I remember seeing the ad and being like, I need to have that right fucking.
[00:57:27] Yeah.
[00:57:28] I need that now.
[00:57:30] What happened to me and my little brother with a Burger King chicken sandwich, the long
[00:57:33] one?
[00:57:34] Yeah.
[00:57:35] I remember when that came out and it was, because it was an Italian family that would like
[00:57:38] get, you know, dressed up to go to Burger King.
[00:57:40] They brought me with, they brought me with one time.
[00:57:43] And that was the only time I'd ever been to Burger King.
[00:57:45] Wow, your whole life, ever?
[00:57:46] Yeah.
[00:57:47] It was never a fucking, always Mickey D's man.
[00:57:49] We don't have family, me too.
[00:57:50] 100%.
[00:57:51] Burger King's family was a Burger King family.
[00:57:53] Well, he's a fucking retard.
[00:57:55] Yeah.
[00:57:56] For real.
[00:57:57] And Taco Bell.
[00:57:58] Taco Bell's all right.
[00:57:59] I like Taco Bell.
[00:58:00] But I mean, Taco Bell used to be good, but I mean, like, Elvis loves you.
[00:58:05] Put your fucking eyebrows down, you snob.
[00:58:08] It's still bad.
[00:58:09] It's, no, you know what?
[00:58:11] You can suck dick.
[00:58:12] Taco Bell is just sour cream though.
[00:58:14] Oh my God.
[00:58:15] Adam stops.
[00:58:16] Get off your fucking head for us, mate.
[00:58:18] Taco Bell in New York City, especially.
[00:58:19] You know what I like to do?
[00:58:21] All fast-fooding New York is a step back.
[00:58:22] My favorite move used to be getting drunk as shit and then driving the Taco Bell and
[00:58:26] getting the girls.
[00:58:27] All of high school getting the grande meal and then they came out, they test marketed.
[00:58:32] I don't know if it went everywhere, but it was called the taco party, which was two
[00:58:38] more tacos over there.
[00:58:40] Over the grande meal.
[00:58:42] So you get 12 tacos because Del Taco had that Del Taco had it was $6 for 12 tacos.
[00:58:48] I remember that.
[00:58:49] And it's like, how the fuck are there homeless people in Los Angeles?
[00:58:53] This is socialism.
[00:58:54] Yeah.
[00:58:55] You're eating fucking dog food, dog food in shells.
[00:59:00] I don't care.
[00:59:01] Now I kind of want Del Taco.
[00:59:02] I missed the whole range of taco bullshit.
[00:59:06] We had Del Taco Taco and then we had a place at a local chain called Roberto's that we
[00:59:12] used to go to.
[00:59:13] Yeah.
[00:59:14] Not.
[00:59:15] And we're taking local chains out.
[00:59:17] Yeah.
[00:59:18] It's only the only the dog shit because a lot of the places that taco like Austin when
[00:59:24] I live there, you go to any fucking any single one of those like strip malls or what are
[00:59:29] the shopping centers that are called.
[00:59:31] Yeah.
[00:59:32] And there's a hole in the wall place that has fucking banging tacos.
[00:59:34] Of course.
[00:59:35] Compared to what you would regularly.
[00:59:36] We're talking fast food here.
[00:59:38] We're talking fast food.
[00:59:39] So your options are Del Taco, I don't think was in Austin at the time.
[00:59:43] So it was just taco cabana and taco bell and taco cabana I can fuck with.
[00:59:48] I like the vibes and taco cabana.
[00:59:49] Okay.
[00:59:50] I'm not familiar with the taco.
[00:59:51] It's got a very fucking like late 80s kind of neon.
[00:59:55] I don't remember there's neon but kind of like white subway tile if I'm remembering correctly
[01:00:01] and like sort of like one of those like kind of like gaudy look of like the early 80s where
[01:00:06] it's a great word.
[01:00:08] Cabana's great word.
[01:00:09] It's just yeah.
[01:00:10] There was a fucking style.
[01:00:11] I remember going there with a pizza like proper like only Mexican people went there and
[01:00:20] just get called Pinchagering goes the whole time.
[01:00:23] They just like we'd have to like you describe your interactions.
[01:00:27] You say these things as if we don't we've never been around Hispanic people but you describe
[01:00:32] your upbringing and it's like there's Hispanic people this Hispanic people would just call
[01:00:37] me a fucking cracker.
[01:00:39] But here's the thing Nick the thing you're not realizing is Adams unbelievable unlikeability
[01:00:45] and yes minorities and it's just my face to yeah I don't even have to open my mouth.
[01:00:51] We haven't experienced this because nobody viscerally hates us because of our faces.
[01:00:55] Yeah.
[01:00:56] We'll be like it might be like a floss Vegas be like if Floss Vegas had a lot of black
[01:01:00] people in it and he was talking about growing up around black people as if they fucking like
[01:01:05] we're just constantly haranging him for being like just a dumb cracker like we would go
[01:01:12] to KFC and they would bully us out of there and it's like what the fuck are you talking
[01:01:18] about dude everyone disrespects Adam though you gotta yeah imagine him as a 13 year that's
[01:01:23] true I almost jumped by the Mexican girl gang you said when I was a freshman in high school
[01:01:29] you have said you've said as much there's there's there's there's scared there was scared you
[01:01:34] have said as much I know it's been said it's been said it's it's it's been it has been
[01:01:41] written the stories and I was like listen you're a Selena fan I'm a Selena fan let's just find
[01:01:48] some common ground we don't have to we don't have to have guns on the streets tell you what
[01:01:52] we're gonna take a five minute break well I go make a coffee and piss and you guys are
[01:01:56] gonna continue talking I'm gonna piss to actually Adam and I have to be as well you can piss
[01:02:00] just make them watch I'm going first because I said I said I said I want to piss you they
[01:02:04] want to watch but they should we should we should do it if shaders in the bathroom yeah you know
[01:02:08] what actually we could just we could all just walk away from the camera and then we could
[01:02:12] tell the audio guy so when they do the the audio version of this tonight no we'll just
[01:02:19] put in we'll put in yeah moonlight sonata by Beethoven they just do a shoot here I want
[01:02:33] to hear I want to hear I want to hear stops rendition I know the beginning is
[01:02:45] dud dud dud dud dud dud dud dud dud dud I don't have it but it's a beautiful Kobe Bryant's
[01:03:01] favorite song it's a beautiful piece of music why don't you go ahead and go ahead and take
[01:03:05] that piss. Oh, you pee. Talk about some guys. So,
[01:03:09] she's a fellas. What's up with you, mate?
[01:03:13] Nothing, dude. I did. We was, I saw my sisters going through
[01:03:18] pictures of my mom for Mother's Day, old pictures. Yeah. And
[01:03:22] they did my parents did a photo shoot where my mom was just
[01:03:26] vacuuming in one picture, cooking in another picture. But it
[01:03:30] was like with a professional photographer. Oh, nice.
[01:03:32] Photographer. Yeah. That's cute. And it was, I don't know, I
[01:03:36] guess that's something people did. Yep. How's your mom? You
[01:03:40] talked to her for Mothers? Me and me and a little V, you know,
[01:03:42] we had that nice fucking long mother fucking FaceTime with
[01:03:47] the whole squad. I love that. Yeah. You know, I don't have
[01:03:51] that many hot pics of my mom. You know, I saw some pig, your
[01:03:54] mom was looking good, man. Just have to say, I have to
[01:03:56] respond. She was a beautiful woman. She's a beautiful woman. I
[01:03:58] have to say, you look a lot like her. I do look a lot like
[01:04:01] my mother. Thank you. Beautiful woman's face. Thank God.
[01:04:06] Honestly, I didn't, I didn't think you could be trained before
[01:04:09] but after looking a picture of your mom. I think if we
[01:04:13] shave that nose down a little bit. Well, she she did. So yeah,
[01:04:18] interesting. Yeah, apparently she got in a car accident. And
[01:04:22] then when my parents were married and then went to the
[01:04:26] doctor and he said, did you ever have any cosmetic surgery?
[01:04:28] And my dad was like, no, she has been and she's like, actually,
[01:04:31] yes. Oh damn. He was he didn't know that he didn't know he got
[01:04:35] catfished. She looks cute. She looks cute though with the with
[01:04:38] the big shots. I thought you were going to say that he got she
[01:04:43] got into a car accident. And they just took the opportunity to
[01:04:46] shave her nose down. And no, no, no. Yeah, that's why Jewish
[01:04:50] girls are just constantly filming Louise and driving into
[01:04:54] brick walls. Yeah, I have I don't know what it was my nose.
[01:05:00] We're just talking about how Adam's mom was hot and he looks
[01:05:03] like his mom so he could probably be trained and pretty
[01:05:05] fuckable. I saw some pics. Yeah, me as a little kid. I
[01:05:09] look definitely like a little girl. You've said as much. You've
[01:05:12] said as much before. Yeah. All right, I'm gonna piss then my
[01:05:16] turn. Yeah. Then he's turned to what? Then his turn to pee, I
[01:05:23] guess, or then his turn. I don't have no idea what he's
[01:05:25] talking about. Yeah. How you been good? You're making plyo
[01:05:28] boxes? I did. I made my plyo boxes. I did it at Dom Way though.
[01:05:32] I fucking what I would normally do is get a piece of quarter
[01:05:37] inch plywood. And then I would with the jig with that cut a
[01:05:43] template for the interlocking sides and then transfer from that
[01:05:49] template using the router table those tabs onto each individual
[01:05:53] face and then just make make like mated templates so that I can
[01:05:57] slap them on each face center them. And then that way it's like
[01:06:00] dead center for each one of those tablets on the router table.
[01:06:04] But instead I fucking just use the jig for each individual
[01:06:08] panel. I don't know if you just keep cutting it down. Yeah,
[01:06:12] because jigsaws are fucking garbage. Yeah, they're really not
[01:06:15] worth anything. Yeah. And then so yeah, it took much longer
[01:06:22] than would have because in my head, I'm like, I'm only making
[01:06:23] two of them. So I don't need a template for that. But it's
[01:06:26] like, well, two of them is 12 pieces. So of course I should
[01:06:30] because of course I should be using a fucking template. It's
[01:06:34] actually it's 12. It's no, because it's two boxes. It's two
[01:06:37] boxes. And then it's fucking each face has four sides. So what
[01:06:43] is who know who can even do that math is fucking that's so many
[01:06:46] 12 times four 48. Yeah, 48 48 fucking sides I covered the jig
[01:06:51] saw instead of just making a lot of work instead of just making a
[01:06:54] fucking template using the router tape. Yeah, that would have been
[01:06:57] a lot. It would have been a lot smarter. How hard is it to start
[01:07:01] doing a handstand push up? Very easy. It's easy. Yeah, you just
[01:07:07] you like slowly increase the range of motion.
[01:07:10] Okay, I pee pee now. Yeah. We also run gay sir.
[01:07:21] Ooh, what were you all talking about? The best way to make
[01:07:24] plyo boxes. It's just two four pieces of fucking wood.
[01:07:31] Yeah, but you gotta like you gotta make a mineral lock on the
[01:07:34] sides you can't just because then you if you don't then you'll
[01:07:36] have one face that's where you could put something internally.
[01:07:41] So you can't just use like butt joints on all four sides.
[01:07:44] You gotta fucking get something nice in there. Yeah, well, or you
[01:07:48] just make like tabs by saying it out of my way. So this time
[01:07:50] because I cut each like side with a jigsaw rather than and then
[01:07:55] it's a jigsaw suck. You fucking idiot. Yeah, but next time.
[01:08:01] I mean, because I might, you know, like I made these because I
[01:08:05] do handstand pushups at these eight inch stools. And now I can
[01:08:10] do like 15 with the eight inch stools. So I needed to move up.
[01:08:13] So I made these 12 by 14 by 16. So I figured I start with 12.
[01:08:17] And then once I can do 15 with 12 inches, flip it do, you know,
[01:08:23] then 12 with 14 or 15 with 14 inches and 15 with 16 inch.
[01:08:27] What a fucking genius.
[01:08:29] No, no, but I tried with the six to just like stacked them on
[01:08:33] the end. And I can get like four, I guess with that. So there's
[01:08:38] like no real reason that even the 12 and the 14 inch sides are
[01:08:42] fucking waste. So I might make well, now I make 18 by 20 by 22.
[01:08:50] Damn. Nice. Which I don't even know strong. So what you're
[01:08:53] fucking what does that make your shoulders strong as fuck?
[01:08:56] Yeah, well, no handstand pushups are good because it works like
[01:08:59] your whole your whole upper body to your chest, your shoulders,
[01:09:03] your upper back. It's like a pretty well balanced. But the
[01:09:06] thing is it destroys your fucking wrist. With that with the phone
[01:09:10] all day long. And now it's like I'm just in pain constantly.
[01:09:13] Shit. Yeah, you need to wear fucking little fucking things,
[01:09:16] dude. I don't yeah, I don't have braces of never use a carpal
[01:09:19] tunnel braces like a fucking secretary. Yeah. That's what you
[01:09:23] should need to be wearing, dude. Secretariat's a weird name for
[01:09:26] us. Secretariat. Yeah. What the fuck is like? What the fuck is
[01:09:30] a secretary? Yeah, with the secretary and then and then
[01:09:33] proletariat combined in the two. I don't know. Terriate. What is
[01:09:37] terriate is a suffix as yeah, my name is a secretariat. Yeah,
[01:09:43] how you doing? My name is secretary of Winslow. I'm
[01:09:46] police officer here with Chicago. That's a wide receiver for
[01:09:51] LSU. Dude, secretariat Winslow. Yeah. I tried to do some pushups
[01:09:59] in my shoulder hurts. Yeah, I need some fucking surgery. Yeah.
[01:10:05] When did you do the pushups? Yesterday. My shoulder mate. It's
[01:10:12] my old injury. How bad? Fatter now. I also tried to press.
[01:10:16] That was my issue. I tried pressing. How would you just do
[01:10:20] curls? What do you mean you tried pressing? Fucking shoulder
[01:10:23] press. I hurt my shit, benching like fucking months ago. And
[01:10:30] now it just sucks. Now it just hurts. Yeah. I'll never be the
[01:10:34] fucking specimen I should be. But I'll just do biceps until I'm
[01:10:38] fucking I got big ass buys. No try work whatsoever. Yeah, front
[01:10:44] of my arm looking nice. Uh huh. Damn, I won a macaroni and
[01:10:49] cheese. Nice. Why don't you make some? Oh, you got don't you
[01:10:52] got the little edamame piss baguettis? I do. I'll have edamame
[01:10:56] spaghetti. I'm like, I went to piss and I think I pissed out the
[01:11:00] only energy left in my body. That's all right. What's the stream
[01:11:05] look? What was the stream looking like? You're strong?
[01:11:08] Yeah, I'm no more the let the gravity do the work stage of my
[01:11:13] pissing career at this. You don't need to tell me I've had a
[01:11:18] weak stream my whole life. I'm at the weird kind of pains and
[01:11:21] tingles in my prostate balls stage. Not really sure what that
[01:11:27] is funny. It's like you get to this place where it's like you
[01:11:30] learn to not go to the doctor for anything. You have to learn
[01:11:33] that because they don't tell you that like yeah, things are
[01:11:36] just going to start feeling shitty. You know, yeah, you're
[01:11:40] just going to keep breaking down. There's just pains you have
[01:11:43] to deal with forever. Yeah, there's going to some occasionally
[01:11:45] feel like somebody jammed the toothpick through your eye
[01:11:48] vertically. And there's not you're not going to know why, but
[01:11:53] you just deal with that shit. And then you go on with your life.
[01:11:58] And you let it pass. Sometimes your asshole is going to be on
[01:12:01] fire. That's why I was talking about cousins like fiance. She
[01:12:04] was like, you know, I was saying like when I get to 60 and
[01:12:09] things start breaking down, it's like, you know, things start
[01:12:11] hurting. That's when I want to go or whatever. It's like that
[01:12:14] starts when you're like 27. Yeah, yeah, it's just it gets
[01:12:18] perpetually worse. It's like it starts off with like, oh, I
[01:12:20] got trigger finger, you know, or something small or like, you
[01:12:24] know, and then by the time you're 57, it's like, yeah, I had to
[01:12:28] get half my nose cut off. You know, and it's like, that sounds
[01:12:34] awful. I can't I can't use my left leg. Yeah, there's any
[01:12:37] humidity outside. No, my kneecaps, they kind of slid down in the
[01:12:41] front of my shins and now on my feet. And it's excruciating.
[01:12:46] I can't jump rope anymore. My ball I keep tripping over my
[01:12:49] balls. Yeah, my knees sometimes just snap backwards in the
[01:12:53] opposite direction and the bone, the bottom bone jams goes up my
[01:12:59] alongside my femur and jams into my rectum. I have to go to the
[01:13:04] hospital to get my legs pulled out of my ass. My legs just
[01:13:08] raped my ass. Yeah, I'm getting older. Yeah, my body sucks.
[01:13:19] Oh, I've been I've been like, I think relatively okay health
[01:13:24] wise, but there's gonna be I'm gonna be one of those people at
[01:13:28] like 55. It's just everything's gonna go down. You got a little
[01:13:31] delicate little body. I just have shitty body in my got a
[01:13:35] little ballerina body. Yeah, I have like a survivor's body.
[01:13:39] But no, I just have shitty genetics. I got shitty Ashkenazi
[01:13:44] Jewish genetics where I'm gonna get fucking Tay sacks and
[01:13:47] Parkinson's. Yeah, too, too inbred. I think I am too
[01:13:52] inbred. That's why I'm definitely mating outside the outside
[01:13:57] the gene pool. How did which the most different which the most
[01:14:00] different genes from a Jew? What do you mean in the world?
[01:14:04] The most different like diverse diverse. I don't know. I have no
[01:14:09] idea. There. I don't know. There Ethiopian Jews. Probably
[01:14:13] like a probably like a dog. What probably a dog? Maybe on the
[01:14:18] other end of this. Maybe a little pomeranian loyal. Yeah,
[01:14:23] loyal fucking not conniving. You're capable of it. They're
[01:14:29] fuzzy. Yeah, you should fuck a dog. They bring things to you. I
[01:14:33] might. Did it take? It's a sort of taking. I've looked at my
[01:14:36] dogs pussy a couple times and been like, you know, and on that
[01:14:41] and on that note, we say goodbye, folks. That's the final
[01:14:46] note of the show is that I don't look at his dogs pussy. I
[01:14:49] have admired her pussy. I haven't done anything about it. But
[01:14:55] I've looked. Have you put your finger in her pussy? No, I
[01:14:57] haven't touched it on purpose. Never. But I probably brushed
[01:15:01] against her pussy a couple times. But no, I haven't inserted my
[01:15:04] finger in my dog's. I don't know. I haven't looked at a dog's
[01:15:08] pussy. There's no way for her to consent. That's why I'm
[01:15:12] teaching her if you taught it if you taught a dog tricks like
[01:15:15] they can one Paul for yes, one Paul for no. But maybe you
[01:15:19] could teach it to consent. I don't know. That dog is like a
[01:15:23] five year old kid. You know, I don't think she could ever
[01:15:26] consent. She that's the only thing keeping me back is her
[01:15:29] insulate. But you wanted fun. Not the fact that you're
[01:15:33] of course, you want to make love. I'm putting a check here comes
[01:15:39] Adam and his wife. I'd love to take a look at what Adam's wife
[01:15:48] looks like. Oh my god. Oh my lord. I'm frickin horny. He's
[01:15:55] a head of his wife right there. Jeff Daniels in the like, Oh,
[01:16:03] yeah. It's a horse. Yeah. Fuck. Sorry guys. You can't see it.
[01:16:10] It's a horse running a hat with flowers on it. Very elegant
[01:16:15] horse. That's not his wife. That's his husband because he's
[01:16:18] getting fucked by a horse. But he fucks a dog. It is a
[01:16:21] mister. Get fucked by something with a bigger dick and
[01:16:24] fuck something with a small pussy. Yeah, I'm a classic switch.
[01:16:27] You know, I'm your best. It's two voracious. I let horses have
[01:16:31] sex with me but I fuck dogs. Classic verse.
[01:16:40] Fuck. I do yoga. I got to do yoga after this get limber. I got
[01:16:53] to have lunch. What are you eating? What's on the menu? I'm
[01:16:56] not sure. Let's talk lunch. I don't know. It's honestly that is
[01:17:01] like what you have to talk about with people like Oh, how was
[01:17:04] your dinner left? Honestly. Yeah. Yeah. That's really it.
[01:17:10] It's a nice cubes Nick. Huh? Are you chewing ice cubes? No.
[01:17:15] I said Adam's Adam's Adam's wrapping his fingers on the table.
[01:17:20] I'm drinking coffee. Nice. I'm not showing ice cube. Very
[01:17:24] nice. All right. Well, K fucks. Yeah. That's which movie
[01:17:30] should I see guys before we go? Oh, watch, um, watch the driver
[01:17:36] driver. Ryan O'Neill. Yeah. Okay. I watched it this week.
[01:17:41] Who's Ryan O'Neill? He's played Barry Linden. Yeah, he was in
[01:17:45] a movie star stuff. He's the famous movie. He was in the last
[01:17:52] picture show. Yeah, who's Jack? Who's Jack Nichols? Ryan O'Neill
[01:17:57] sounds like a like a fucking a guy who's like into packs on who
[01:18:01] is Warren Beatty. Yeah, I never think an ex games kind of guy.
[01:18:05] I mean, if you know Warren Beatty is your own Ryan O'Neill.
[01:18:08] Ryan O'Neill is a very famous actor. Fuck him, dude. Fuck him.
[01:18:11] All right. Well, folks, later.